The Goonest Generation | Triforce #337

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Speaker 1 Well, hello there, everyone, and welcome to the Trifles Podcast. Oh, hello.
It's so good to be back with you today on a lovely, cold, rainy day in Britain. Raining there, is it?

Speaker 1 Let me check the weather here.

Speaker 1 yeah it's just it's just grey here it's not raining but it is the same it's grey the grey filter filter is on today the great the grey uk filter is on today the grey filter is has been applied uh but it's not cold and it's not raining so there there there are some positives uh to be gained from the grey filter some people find that beautiful the grey filter of england but unfortunately it's not yeah it's beautiful for a day and then i'm

Speaker 1 the the backdrop of like industrial ruin you know like in the 80s and stuff I think that's what people always associate the uh the gray filter with you know it's all these scenes of like uh

Speaker 1 we've had coal up here for oh yeah my grandfather worked down pit and his grandfather worked down pit and so on all the rest of us

Speaker 1 we've got

Speaker 1 like crappy roads with big puddles and

Speaker 1 kids walking along with clothes at their knees walking along and then like all those row houses with like the backyards with the little alley at the back. Like

Speaker 1 people like to stick to their own round here.

Speaker 1 But we do talk if someone needs help, you know, a scrape of butter or a crumb of bread, then you know you can rely on your neighbours.

Speaker 1 I don't give much truck to neighbours around here. Since it closed down, I can afford half an ale a week and that's good enough for me.

Speaker 1 And then you see them going off to the bookies and smoking a very small cigarette right to the end. That's those 60s and 70s videos of Britain.
It just looks like shit. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So I've just posted a picture in the Discord. That is weather in Twickenham today.
A high of 16, a low of 8. Look at how exciting it is.
It's just grey. It's just the default grey cloud.

Speaker 1 No rain. There's no great cloud emoji and then

Speaker 1 precipitation. No wind.
Even the moon is grey in this image. It's bizarre.

Speaker 1 Mine is very similar. 14 degrees Celsius, mostly cloudy.
And it's like that all day long. It gets worse.
Don't worry. It will get colder and more and more horrible.
But you know,

Speaker 1 Monday, Monday, apparently, it's going to, it's going to be, you know, what my favorite symbol that they ever have is the black cloud with the sun peeking around the side of it and a fucking lightning bolt.

Speaker 1 Oh, and I'm like, wait a second, we're going to have rain, sun, and thunder and lightning all at 1 p.m. Country.

Speaker 1 I always think that just means rainbows, right? So they should just put the rainbows. Just put a picture of rainbows.

Speaker 1 But that's kind of cheer everyone up.

Speaker 1 I think it would be fucking woke though they can't do great for everyone's mental health if they started putting rainbows in the weather report do you know what i'm saying just a bit too warm it would be getting getting people outside they'd be like oh rainbows we're putting lgbt in the sky now look at this what's that

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 1 yeah the older generation no i i i like it's amazing how stuff does affect your mood though and like the idea of it you know i think you have to keep reframing your own mind that you're like yeah well look it can it it can

Speaker 1 it can still be beautiful. You can still have a nice, beautiful walk, even though it is gray.
It's not, it doesn't make everything.

Speaker 1 I think we just used to, I think we just kind of block it out, in all honesty. I don't,

Speaker 1 if I'm feeling a bit glum, I'm just gonna look up and think, Christ, this is not helping. Like, it's just that diffuse grey with no texture whatsoever.

Speaker 1 It feels like the sky has been replaced by the dullest wallpaper imaginable.

Speaker 1 I don't mind walking when the weather is like this. It's just if it's like raining, I don't want to walk in the rain.
I don't think anyone really does, but also because

Speaker 1 it's the rain, dude. I don't know why.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's crazy. It's bizarre.

Speaker 1 And also, because it's an island,

Speaker 1 it gets very windy. So, on days where it's like nearly a hurricane, obviously, you don't really want to be walking in that either.
It's harder to walk, it pushes against you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you know, it's got all this force to push against. Do you guys refer to yourselves as islanders and us as the mainlanders?

Speaker 1 Um, yeah, yeah, they yeah, they would say like uh like islanders, yeah, yeah, and then we call you guys the mainland, yeah.

Speaker 1 Go to the mainland yeah i'd like to call us big island and little island i think would be better big island and little island the hawaiians have got that right i think right yeah if the fairy's coming in it's coming from either france or the mainland yeah they they definitely would refer to England as the mainland and is there a lot of is there any anti-French sentiment in Jersey in a general sort of simmering there used to be

Speaker 1 French you know yes there used to be I mean it is a very sort of um

Speaker 1 french influenced island certainly i think there was there were a lot of like qualms about whether it was uh english or french for you know hundreds of years they oh i'm sure i don't think they ever had uh any any real battles over here as such but there were a lot of fortifications and a lot of things put into place to as a deterrent you know

Speaker 1 if you look at where jersey and guernsey are yeah there's actually no justification whatsoever yeah for it being part of the uk no no

Speaker 1 yeah it it it looks like it should be part of france and i think at one point

Speaker 1 it was part of france there's a there's an ancient um dialect here called uh geriers which is it is it's basically like it's like farmer french like if you you you know you can it sounds like uh you know um

Speaker 1 i'm trying to think of like another example it's like it's not quite french but very French at the same time, you know, like you can, you can see that it is, it is French, but it's like, it's hacked up a lot, you know?

Speaker 1 Right. Like Quebec, Quebecois.
No, I mean, I mean,

Speaker 1 that is, that is like straight up French, but it's like a twang.

Speaker 1 It's like Texas French, if you like, you know, like

Speaker 1 they, they, they're like a little bit, they don't sound as

Speaker 1 like as Parisian, you know, like as the French do sort of thing.

Speaker 1 But yeah, Geriers is like just an old, old language that they used to speak back in like the, you know, Neolithic days or whatever, that is still kicking around a little bit, but it's more more like a, you know, like a traditional heritage sort of thing, but not

Speaker 1 spoken.

Speaker 1 But it was spoken by a large amount of the population during World War II, which was great because when they were occupied, they had a language that they could speak that where the Germans were just like, what the fuck are they talking about?

Speaker 1 Like, what is this language? And like, only the Jersey people knew it.

Speaker 1 So, like, my mother-in-law, for example, her parents used to argue in Geriers, and they would be, if they were still alive, in their 90s now.

Speaker 1 So it's like not that far, not like not that far away, not that far back where this was a spoken language

Speaker 1 and was quite sort of, you know, a lot of people spoke it to in modern times, just being almost completely forgotten. Like it is just, it's completely dying out now.

Speaker 1 But there's a couple of people that are still, you know, trying to like keep it alive, archiving a lot of information. There's some YouTube video about that.
Yeah, sure.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there was, I'm sure there was one, but now it's interesting. But more recently,

Speaker 1 I would say probably like in the

Speaker 1 60s onwards, the attitude towards the French was a little bit different in that you had a lot of French migrants coming over to do mostly like farm work, you know, like manual labor and stuff like that.

Speaker 1 And there was, there was definitely a sentiment of, no, what are they doing here? Get out of here. But that's kind of modern times for you, really, isn't it? There's a lot of that.

Speaker 1 I mean, especially nowadays, that sentiment has just gone like turbocharged. But I think it's always been around.
Farmer French. And then it gets kind of.

Speaker 1 So I've written a sentence here in English that I think Cornish Frenchman, a Cornish farmer might say. Right.
Yeah. And but in French, it would sound like this, all right? Right.

Speaker 1 On sang jongui, the tractor rest on coron pan. Sonny noir mon plu grand beat on the wheel.

Speaker 1 That's great.

Speaker 1 By the way, it's a lot of fun. He looked pretty much nailed it there.

Speaker 1 Yeah, if you look at Guernsey, Jersey, and Alderney, and then look at the Isle of Wight and imagine that the Isle of Wight was French. People would be fucking

Speaker 1 at the mouth. They'd be going mad.

Speaker 1 But the British get away with it because the British Empire was just so big at one point. So was the French.
It was never, it was, yeah, but the French had lots of interests elsewhere and stuff.

Speaker 1 And I think past a certain point, they just thought, you know what? Fuck it. It's not even worth fighting for over this.
You know what I mean? It is what it is. Let's just move on.

Speaker 1 But yeah,

Speaker 1 it's a weird one for sure. You look at Gibraltar, which is a bizarre place that I've been to.
There's really, I mean, that's literally attached to Spain. I know.

Speaker 1 I just, I wonder how much it would affect the well, apparently, the culture there is very, very British.

Speaker 1 It is and it isn't. Yeah.
Like having been there, I tell you what it is. It is bizarre, though, isn't it? It is weird.
It is bizarre.

Speaker 1 It is bizarre because, like a lot of these places, they've gone down the mega

Speaker 1 sort of nationalistic, like, we are, we are British, and their flag is everywhere, and all the roads are called, you know, queen this and conservative isles, that, and everything.

Speaker 1 It's like really, really

Speaker 1 so British, but then they're all called like Pepe and stuff, and they all speak Spanish. Yes,

Speaker 1 so it's it's very odd, yeah. But yeah, it's Gibraltar is so tiny, though, actually, when you look at when you go there, yeah, but it's theirs.

Speaker 1 It would have been such an important strategic location back in the day, and maybe

Speaker 1 now as well. I don't know.

Speaker 1 It must be somewhat important still, but I think a lot of it will be, like you said, it's that nationalistic,

Speaker 1 you know, people identify as being

Speaker 1 British there, and they'll just hang on to that for as long as the generations keep passing that down, sort of thing. But I think back in the day,

Speaker 1 it was pretty vital, wasn't it? Oh, strategically.

Speaker 1 I mean, strategically, first of all, attacking it is almost impossible because to approach it, you have to come down a very narrow bit of basically a sandbar that leads from the mainland to the rock.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And the rock itself has, if you go there, you can go into these little sort of, you can do a little tour of it.

Speaker 1 You go and look and you, they've got the old artillery sort of slots that they've dug into the rock. And so they can have massive guns sticking out.
So you've watched the whole entrance.

Speaker 1 If you look at that narrow point as you enter the med, imagine having a big fucking cannon there that can shoot ships coming coming in. That's huge.
I mean, World War II, you know, have a Gibraltar,

Speaker 1 the rock, the fortifications of the rock and stuff. Yeah, it was,

Speaker 1 it's an important point. And of course, we're like, well, we're not giving that up.
No. So we kept it.
Yeah. I think that's exactly how they felt about Jersey, Guernsey, and Alderney.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Even though they were occupied. Well, I don't have the rest of the.
I think the rest of them. might have been.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 My history of Guernsey and Alderney, I'm sure Alderney was definitely occupied.

Speaker 1 Why wouldn't they be? Guernsey must have been, but I'm not sure.

Speaker 1 I don't know a lot about Guernsey, but I know a little bit more about Jersey. I mean, Jersey certainly was occupied, but it was occupied for a very long time.

Speaker 1 And even after the war had ended, it was still occupied for some time. It took them forever to finally liberate it.
Wow. Well, the Germans thought they could keep it.

Speaker 1 No, I think it's just, they just didn't know what to do. It was just forgotten anyway.
Everything had fallen apart, and they were starving and eating,

Speaker 1 actually eating dogs and cats and shit. Yeah, yeah, it was pretty, it was bad.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Well,

Speaker 1 none of the shipments were coming in. And, you know, it's not

Speaker 1 an island that can sustain itself for its population. There's not enough space to grow the amount of food you'd need to feed the population here.

Speaker 1 So they relied on a lot of stuff coming in from the mainland and other places,

Speaker 1 specifically like meat and stuff like that, which they just didn't have throughout the whole occupation. And they had to make like all these

Speaker 1 kind of like

Speaker 1 shitty recipes with just stuff that they had, you know, stuff that was going bad and they had to, they had to be really strict. But they used these, they had those little crystal radio sets for

Speaker 1 they weren't allowed to have them, but the, you know, the underground resistance or whatever had them so that they could get news on what was going on. But same, same old as anywhere else, basically.

Speaker 1 You had people

Speaker 1 time radio there. Yeah, that's it.
You had people that sympathized with the Germans and would help them out. And they were

Speaker 1 then sort of ostracized by the community for being traitors after the war ended.

Speaker 1 Some were like flogged publicly and hung and all sorts.

Speaker 1 But it was just such a crazy time. I mean, for everybody, but certainly for a very small island with a very small rural population, if you like, at the time,

Speaker 1 It was, it was, it was pretty crazy.

Speaker 1 But yeah, stories of like my mother-in-law's parents, because they were young during the occupation, just basically starving, you know, like, and a lot of health problems in their later years because of the malnutrition from the occupation and

Speaker 1 stuff like that. Too, yeah, it was wild.
I mean, it's, it's had

Speaker 1 such a huge effect.

Speaker 1 I think the idea was, though, that these Channel Islands would be like a kind of very defensible position where the Germans were hoping hoping to really, I think, give us a bloody nose was the phrase you used to do.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was part of the Atlantic Wall. It had the same

Speaker 1 ideas in the beaches in Normandy, you know, big wall, lots of turf. But I think here's the thing.

Speaker 1 If we'd had a leader, like a more populist leader, you know, like Trump, you know, he would have, you know, fought tooth and nail to get them back.

Speaker 1 And that would have been, you know, a terrible, terrible plan. You know, tons of people would have died.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Whereas we had at that time, I guess, very smart, very intelligent leadership who were very cunning and they completely bypassed the channel islands.

Speaker 1 And they were, in fact, I think the last thing to be liberated, even after Berlin fell. They were still

Speaker 1 a mess if they tried to do anything with the Channel Islands.

Speaker 1 Well, they were already so fortified.

Speaker 1 But I think it's an example of something where, you know, a leader like Hitler would have used it as a propaganda thing. You know, it's a matter of national pride to get them back.
You know,

Speaker 1 an easy trap on these, on this world stage, um, for sure, because you can imagine Britain would be like, well, you know, we're not going to stand for our boys being all gold Germans bloody taking them over.

Speaker 1 Not one inch of British soil will be given up. But at that point, we've given up Singapore and

Speaker 1 bloody everything. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 I mean, it was, it was just,

Speaker 1 it was such a vast conflict. You know, like you hear about like the more centralized aspects of it, but when you, when you read about how much of the world it affected, it was, I was insistent.

Speaker 1 But also, I mean, even today, what Jersey has like 40,000 people on it or something. And

Speaker 1 over 100,000.

Speaker 1 It's substantial. It's quite a big population.
Well, Gibraltar's particularly, I think maybe Gibraltar's like 40 or 30. They're not big, these British concessions, right?

Speaker 1 Whereas Hong Kong had like, has now, I think, about seven or eight million people in it. Yes.
So does Singapore. These places are comparatively massive compared to

Speaker 1 the

Speaker 1 smaller bits. But that was just what it was like when we were colonizing the other side of the world.

Speaker 1 You didn't have to settle for one little tiny little rock of Gibraltar.

Speaker 1 We're obviously lucky we clawed that off of Spain. But I think part of this sentiment comes from Spain kind of rumbling that they want it back from time to time.

Speaker 1 And when you are a populist leader like the military junter that came into power in Argentina,

Speaker 1 sparks this new desire to get the Malvinas back.

Speaker 1 It's just really easy. It's a really easy sell to your supporters to be like, hey, you know, we're going to go after Les Malvinas.
Fuck those British bastards.

Speaker 1 You know, it's like, it's like an easy sell to say, hey, don't worry about actual problems. We're going to worry about some bullshit.
And you can be a part of that.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 they can sell it like, oh,

Speaker 1 this is going to solve your problems. Are you unhappy? If we get the Malvinas back, think about how amazing

Speaker 1 it would be. Think about how happy you're going to be.
You can live on the greyest island. Yeah.
I mean, look at the sheep. The Falkland Islands are so miserable.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You think the weather there is grey 24-7, 365? I would guess. Yeah, it's, it's, I mean, they might as well call them the fucking miserable shit islands.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's what they should rename it officially.

Speaker 1 Right, right, pretty close to Gulf of America, which has also been renamed. You can rename.
Why don't they just rename rename a bunch of stuff?

Speaker 1 Like, you know, like put a little bit of vava vum into some of the names instead of this fucking boring old fucking shit.

Speaker 1 It is.

Speaker 1 I mean, yeah.

Speaker 1 Can I just say this is right next to fucking Antarctica? Jesus. We had a funny, a funny, I know this is not a mailbag, but I had an email.
This is from

Speaker 1 a listener who said, a quick one to say, one of the things that makes me giggle is every time someone mentions a topic, it's quickly followed by tippy tapping on the keyboard to Google it. Yes.

Speaker 1 You do know that.

Speaker 1 We like to make sure that we're giving you the most informed take. The most accurate and informed.
Top Google search result every time.

Speaker 1 Mostly just AI now that

Speaker 1 comes back first.

Speaker 1 Do you know what I was looking into this morning out of for no reason? I was thinking, you know, I'm sure everybody has this thought quite often.

Speaker 1 I think like, man, my phone, like I was looking at my phone, I thought, think how powerful this is. And I saw an Instagram reel for the ZX Spectrum.

Speaker 1 Someone's made some movie about the history of the ZX Spectrum.

Speaker 1 And I was like, oh, I remember that being a good computer back in the day, but obviously, my phone now is like a thousand times more power, probably 10,000 times more powerful.

Speaker 1 In fact, I'm so stupid, I don't even know how many times more powerful my phone is than the ZX Spectrum. Someone could email him with the answer to that.

Speaker 1 But I then got into thinking how far would I have to go back for my phone to basically be a supercomputer by comparison with their actual supercomputers.

Speaker 1 So I went and I looked on Wikipedia. You know what flops are?

Speaker 1 I must remember when sometimes gigaflops and teraflops

Speaker 1 and stuff. Floating point operations per second, which is a measure of how many floating-point operations a computer can do per second.
Right.

Speaker 1 Just the fact that we know them as gigaflops or teraflops means the original flops were probably a little bit under

Speaker 1 like

Speaker 1 it's like horsepower. Do you know what I mean? So, I mean, for example, in 1961, the IBM 7030 stretch can perform one floating-point multiplication every 2.4 microseconds.
Wow.

Speaker 1 Okay, so that's a powerful computer. That's a beast.
And you know what? It probably had to be in a building like the size of the Chrysler building with like

Speaker 1 cooling and everything. So the IBM 7030 stretch, I'll post a picture now.
You know, in Star Trek, when they have those panels.

Speaker 1 Yeah. behind them on the ship, look at the size of this fucker.
Yeah, that's a big boy.

Speaker 1 So I want you at home to imagine you've gone to the science station on the Enterprise. It looks like it's

Speaker 1 got a couple of lights on it. But in terms of size, it's the sideboard in your granny's house, which has got all the good plates

Speaker 1 and glasses. But it also looks like it's covered in braille.
It does.

Speaker 1 Those are tiny.

Speaker 1 Every time I see a control like this, I think of an airplane because all airplanes look like this as well. This is true.
It's a mystifying number of buttons. A million switches.

Speaker 1 And you just think that the joke is always like, oh, none of them are important. Just start flicking them and stuff.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, this computer, if it could talk, would definitely say, working, like that level of early computers. It's like a doctor who is this.

Speaker 1 That's a

Speaker 1 visualization of Craigbot. Now recording.
Now recording.

Speaker 1 So Craigbot, by the way, listeners, is a Discord bot that you can use to record audio from multiple people in the same channel.

Speaker 1 Craigbot records it. And when you start it, we make fun of it because he says in this really weird robot voice, now recording.

Speaker 1 Like we don't know what sounds like he wants to, he wishes that he was dead. Like the tone of voice is so odd, you know.
Very sad. What is love? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Why am I?

Speaker 1 What is my purpose? You record nonsense, Craig Bott. Kill me.
Yeah, pretty much.

Speaker 1 So the interesting thing about this Wikipedia page is that it lists the US dollar cost

Speaker 1 per gigaflop. So a gigaflop, obviously now we're into gigaflops.
So the cost of a gigaflop now, May 2023, which is AMD's RX7600,

Speaker 1 which is a graph, a GPU, it's $1.25.

Speaker 1 So $1.25 per gigaflop. Okay.
It retails for $269.

Speaker 1 21.5 teraflops is its peak performance. So a gigaflop is $1.25 May 2023.
How much do you think a gigaflop cost in 1945? It wasn't possible, but if you had used the computing power of the time

Speaker 1 and built something capable of doing a gigaflop level calculation, how expensive do you think it would be in your 1945? So is this when they built that very first?

Speaker 1 This is the ENIAC.

Speaker 1 Yeah, in 1945. So how much

Speaker 1 adjusted for 2024 inflation? A gigaflops

Speaker 1 a billion flops? Who knows?

Speaker 1 Don't matter. Doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 How much was the ENIAC? It was probably an insane cost, right, at the time. So, sorry, it's $1.29 for a gigaflop in May 2023.
That's with the RX7600, AMD's RX7600 GPU, which can do 21.5 teraflops.

Speaker 1 Okay, so $1.29, May 2023, $22 trillion in

Speaker 1 1945

Speaker 1 to have the equivalent computing power. Wow.

Speaker 1 22 trillion. Yeah.
Isn't that insane? Well, remember, though, like, it was all being done for the first time, right? It was all very... I'm not flaming the ENIAC.
I'm just saying.

Speaker 1 The interesting thing is that. It was probably doing that to itself if it's trying to do some Gigaflops.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So just 16 years later, the IBM 7030 stretch, that massive sideboard of a computer, it's already gone from $22 trillion to $196 billion, which is a heck of a lot cheaper.

Speaker 1 That's a bargain price by comparison. Three years later, the CDC

Speaker 1 to 23 billion. So we've gone from 22 trillion to 23 billion in less than 20 years.
That's pretty incredible. Like, that's the acceleration of computing power.

Speaker 1 So I think that anytime I look at my phone and think, oh, wonder how powerful this is.

Speaker 1 I mean, the Cray supercomputer, whenever I think of supercomputers, I don't know about you, Sids. I always think of the Cray.
The Cray.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Cray supercomputers was like, that's what they talked about in the 80s, like the Cray. It sounds like such an evil.
It does.

Speaker 1 I'm not familiar with the Cray, but I think i i know what you mean like the double seven

Speaker 1 they're using the cray supercomputer

Speaker 1 to hack into the crea satellites yeah well how about this the 216 processor bo-wolf clusters with pentium pro microprocessors 58 000 uh by 1997 um so my phone now the sony playstation 4 was 29.26 um per gigaflop uh cost so you know it's just it's just insane how quickly the price fell off and how amazing computers are.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Well, I mean, yeah, the

Speaker 1 power that you have in your hands at any given time now is nuts

Speaker 1 just with your phone.

Speaker 1 But so the way that they measure, sorry to keep going up, I found this very interesting this morning when I was drinking my coffee, is that the way they measure the scale of computing,

Speaker 1 the milliscale of computing, which is 10 to the minus three of flops, you know, flops per second, so floating point operations per second.

Speaker 1 The milliscale computing is the average human multiplying two 10 digit numbers with a pen and paper with no assistance.

Speaker 1 That is milliscale, which is two times 10 to the minus three, which is not an impressive

Speaker 1 score, right? Then it goes up

Speaker 1 decascale, then just scale computing, which is like 1941, 1945, that level, 1.2 ops per second, like very straightforward.

Speaker 1 Deca scale, hectascale, kiloscale, megascale, gigascale, terascale, petascale, exascale.

Speaker 1 The next level is zetascale or zetascale computing, which is one times 10 to the 21 flops, which is such an insanely big number, it's incomprehensible.

Speaker 1 To give you some idea of how powerful this would be, it could accurately just predict the weather on a scale of like two weeks. It's just like, yeah, there's your weather.

Speaker 1 This is exactly what it's going to look like. It'll be about 2035 that these computers will be around.

Speaker 1 So the computers that we're looking at now, so like think 2011 level computers, a Zeta scale computer could generate more single floating point data in one second than was stored by any digital means on Earth in the whole of the first quarter of 2011.

Speaker 1 And for all that, we still don't have flying cars, which we

Speaker 1 were told we would have probably for sure in the year 2000. And I mean, that's 25 years ago already.

Speaker 1 Almost 26 now. They've got one even anywhere close.

Speaker 1 They're doing flying cars in China. Flying cars in China now.
No, they're not.

Speaker 1 They are. I saw one nearly.
Maybe when the motorways break down and the cars go flying off the air. They're very vertical in China.
There's lots of like, they build up a lot, you know.

Speaker 1 Their buildings have loads of like train monorail things going through them and stuff. And there's like there's buildings that are like hundreds of floors tall and stuff.
It's crazy. All right.

Speaker 1 This actually isn't funny. Flying cars crash into each other at Chinese air show.
Oh.

Speaker 1 Two flying cars crashed into each other at a rehearsal for an air show in China, which was meant to be a showcase of the technology. This is, but this is from September.

Speaker 1 Everyone's fine. One person was injured, but they're okay, apparently.
So they had these flying cars, but they look more like giant drones. Yeah, they do.

Speaker 1 They look like a big fucking drone, but a drone that you could fit a person in. Be honest, that's just a helicopter.
That's not a flying car. That's just a little one-man helicopter.

Speaker 1 I've been in a helicopter before. I've always been too scared to go in one because I've been in one one time.
Were you scared?

Speaker 1 Yeah, especially because we were told, like, the thing with an aeroplane, a helicopter, is it builds up a huge amount of static. Right.
Like a lot of static, because the blades are like

Speaker 1 all that friction against the atmosphere, right? Builds up a lot of static. So you've got to be careful getting off and on them and touching things and all the rest of it.

Speaker 1 The thing we were told is do not wear any synthetic underwear, like some, you know, if you're wearing wide fronts at all. Polyester, full, yeah, and you don't have to.

Speaker 1 I think that would be so uncomfortable to have like 100% polyester

Speaker 1 for sure underpants, yeah. But then getting shocks the whole time as well.
They told us that it would literally, you'd be like,

Speaker 1 like that, and right in the pants. Oh, man.
So, yeah, I was like, damn.

Speaker 1 But then we, it was

Speaker 1 a sea helicopter, and there was a small helipad out on a little destroyer or frigate or something. This was in Portsmouth when I was in the Navy, cadets, Lewis.

Speaker 1 We had to fly from land out to the ship, and they took us by helicopter, landed us on the back of the

Speaker 1 frigate or whatever. I know.
And then we had to get off and,

Speaker 1 you know, they showed us around the ship, and then we had to do some work on the ship, like pretend we were were naval ensigns or whatever.

Speaker 1 And they'd sort of, you know, take us around and make us do some shit. I can't even remember what.
And then we got in a little,

Speaker 1 what do they call like a ribby boat, like a little dirigible rigid

Speaker 1 speedboat back to shore. I thought this is the coolest thing ever.
And when we flew, you buckle in in the helicopter, you have like a harness and they just, the door is just open.

Speaker 1 So when it banks, you're just looking straight down like a roller coaster at the ocean and the crowds and everything as you're helicoptering out. I thought, this is fucking cool.

Speaker 1 But also, holy shit, this feels dangerous. Yeah, yeah.
Um, I just have to go get some Kleenex because my nose is running. I'll be right back.
Oh, damn. Oh, no.
He was excited about the thing.

Speaker 1 He's got all the

Speaker 1 gross sick everything.

Speaker 1 Zit Zeta scale computing got him a little overexcited. It happens.
I could understand. What's a Matroyshka brain? I'm just reading about this now.
Oh, good lord.

Speaker 1 Matroyshka brain is a hypothetical megastructure of immense computational capacity powered by a Dyson sphere. It was proposed in 1997 by Robert J.
Bradbury.

Speaker 1 It's an example of a Class B stellar engine employing the entire energy output of a star to drive computer systems. Good God.
You power an enormous star-sized computer.

Speaker 1 So that, a matroshka brain, which is purely theoretical, is 1.12 times 10 to the 36 computing power,

Speaker 1 which is mad. Then the next one up for that, approximate estimate computational power necessary for real-time single human cell simulation with ab initio accuracy.

Speaker 1 God, this is getting complicated now. Sorry, I'm back.
I got the sniffles a little bit. Thank God.
I know. Sorry about that.
I hate having the sniffles. God, I think you got the

Speaker 1 people. It really ticks me off having this sniffles.
You know, you got constantly blowing your nose.

Speaker 1 And if you know when it's just like dripping out of your nose, but it's like, it's like the consistency of water. You know, it's like, it's not like big green boogies.

Speaker 1 It's, it's that, it's like clear water just like yeah dripping out of your nose constantly oh man do you guys remember i i haven't seen this as much now that i've become older but i remember quite often when i was a kid there would be an old man

Speaker 1 on the bus or somewhere in the post office or whatever and it would look like he have a dewdrop of of water hanging from the end of his nose yeah we saw that a lot in canada because it's cold yeah but there'd always be some old dude with just like a drop yeah hanging from the end of his nose i guess it was either condensation that had built up in his cavernous nose or that it was just how he had a runny nose.

Speaker 1 All those old people's noses and ears get so big, don't they? Or they shrink and their nose and ear doesn't keep up or something.

Speaker 1 I don't know, but yeah, they're comically large on some people, aren't they? They sure as heck are. Yeah, and then add into the mix a drop forming at the end of your nose.

Speaker 1 Damn, was the was his honker like bright red at the time, too?

Speaker 1 Yeah, like one of those old dudes that just they never like a not a glove glove wearer not a hat wearer yeah just a old lad whose his face was probably you could smush it directly into snow and the snow would get colder from his face you know what i mean like that level of just a with a weathered face it's like a statue come to life it's weird to think that like a lot of those people that you would have seen um as a kid are are like all dead now like long gone probably yeah you know all those old people all those old people they're they're gone that generation is is gone well that generation would have been like more the, I guess, the World War I generation, right?

Speaker 1 If they were that old when we were kids. 19.
Let me say, I moved to Bournemouth like 1984. I remember my granny, I think she died.
Let me think. She was 76, 77 when she died.
I was not old.

Speaker 1 I think she died in the early 90s. When would she have been born? I don't know.
I felt she was post-World War I.

Speaker 1 Post-World India? World War I and maybe not old enough to have served during World War II? Probably? My mum, my mum's grandfather. So my great-grandfather was a World War I bomber.

Speaker 1 So he flew a two-man plane, him and his mate, and he dropped bombs out of the back by hand while the other lad flew.

Speaker 1 And in the early days, they didn't have like a gun. They just had shotguns and they would blast at each other with shotguns.

Speaker 1 And then, you know, the planes got better and everything. But he had, there's all these photos that he took.
He had to do aerial reconnaissance and drop bombs.

Speaker 1 And you can, I've spoken about this before. before, you can see the bombs that he's dropping by hand in the pictures.

Speaker 1 And he's just like literally with an old black and white camera, just taking pictures out the side of the plane.

Speaker 1 So he was my great-grandfather. So that era was First World War.
And I remember when I met him, he was fucking ancient. Like he was in his 90s then.
And that would have been the 80s.

Speaker 1 So for sure, I think the old people that we saw then were probably just after the First World War when I was a kid, unless they were incredibly old.

Speaker 1 What generation is that considered to be the generation that would have been born in or around the time of World War I or shortly after? No, so I think that's the silent generation.

Speaker 1 Is that the silent generation? Or is that the greatest generation? Because if you were born,

Speaker 1 when is the silent generation? Silent generation was 1928 to 1945. That's when they were born.
Right. They lived through the Great Depression and World War II.
That's the silent generation.

Speaker 1 So the greatest generation

Speaker 1 would have been 1901 to 1927 was when they were born right so that would have been people born just around like the first quarter of the 20th century yeah and they came of age during the great depression and they fought in world war ii so that's like the the greatest generation because they basically defeated the silent generation and then after the silent generation is the baby boomers right and that's then the fucking boomers 40

Speaker 1 it's the calm before the storm 60 silent generation just chilling and then you've got the boomers yeah and then you've got gen x which is i think that's definitely my generation i yeah it goes up to 1980.

Speaker 1 I'm just in Gen X. Okay, and then

Speaker 1 my wife, who's a year younger, is a millennial because she's a millennial.

Speaker 1 Or Gen Y, apparently, as it was called.

Speaker 1 And then 1997 to 2012 is

Speaker 1 a filthy millennial. How does it feel?

Speaker 1 Of course, he's a millennial. It's interesting.
So, but your kids, P Flax, are generation Z, then

Speaker 1 they're both Zoomers, yeah. And your kids are all

Speaker 1 is your oldest a Zoomer? My oldest was born in 2011. Yeah, your eldest is a Zuma.
Your other two are out.

Speaker 1 My other two are Alpha.

Speaker 1 2015 and then 2021. Skibbity, Skibbity.

Speaker 1 What generation does Skibbity Toilet belong to?

Speaker 1 That's the news. That's the Zoomers.
Isn't it? That's the Zoomers? No, this is the new.

Speaker 1 No, but Skibbity Toilet is that's not Gen Alpha, is it? Because they would have to be seven, eight, nine, ten.

Speaker 1 They would have to be like between like seven, uh let me say hands seven thirteen and two yeah my my son is 13 right now right so he's just on the zuma cutoff right he was yeah but i i think that the skibbity toilet stuff is that a is that a zoomer meme i feel like it is i don't even know when that came out but there's there's like stuff in stores like there's like i saw i think a toy that said skibbity toilet on it and it was like i don't even know what it was meant to be like i just thought it would be like a little toilet, but it's not.

Speaker 1 It's like a dude's head. It doesn't need to say anything.

Speaker 1 It just needs to have the words on it. I don't know what it is.
Yeah. I feel so old.

Speaker 1 But like, at the same time, I'm kind of glad I don't know what it is.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's just, it was a Gary's Mod video

Speaker 1 that I made.

Speaker 1 And it's

Speaker 1 the G-Man from the Half-Life

Speaker 1 fucking

Speaker 1 series. You know, the guy that's like Mr.

Speaker 1 whatever is it?

Speaker 1 Gordon Freeman. No, that's the

Speaker 1 doctor.

Speaker 1 Good morning, Kleiner. Good morning, Dr.
Freeman. Yeah, like, that's, that's Kleiner.
But this is the sort of the smoking agent in the background. That's the guy from X-Files, right? That guy.

Speaker 1 Who sadly now, I presume, we're never going to find out what the fuck because they're never going to make Half-Life 3. So, although they are apparently working on something.

Speaker 1 They made Half-Life Alex, the VR thing, but...

Speaker 1 Yeah, but it's a continuation of characters.

Speaker 1 VR has not really taken off that much, has it? I wonder why. I never really hear about it.
But I think there's tons of porn games for VR. Yeah, of course.

Speaker 1 A friend of mine, I'm not going to name them, said that actually it's quite good. The VR porn.
VR porn.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he was like, yeah, it's really good. Like, you know, if you get a good one,

Speaker 1 you've got a

Speaker 1 cave set up. Yeah, you can really

Speaker 1 buy latex body suit to it.

Speaker 1 Have a real hard goon session. Have a good

Speaker 1 two hour log goon session to some VR anime pawn. Because I was like, so what's the deal? Like you can look around.
It's like, yeah, like you, you know, you can look wherever you want to look.

Speaker 1 It's like VR, but there's this hot woman there. And I guess you're shagging her, but it's not like interactive.
So you're just lying there, I presume with your with your auto flashlight,

Speaker 1 just going away. And you're just lying back,

Speaker 1 letting this virtual woman ride you.

Speaker 1 Who says romance is dead?

Speaker 1 What happened to just taking a girl out for a nice cup of tea and then maybe to the pictures? And now you're locked in your your cupboard with a virtual reality headset on it and a

Speaker 1 automated flashlight gooding your brains out what's wrong with this generation

Speaker 1 the good generation

Speaker 1 man i watched that uh the the double episode of uh 24 hours in police custody oh man the young man who uh killed his mother his brother and sister in looten it was only last year year that this happened.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And I don't remember he then had plans to go on and

Speaker 1 kill children at an elementary school after he'd done that. Yeah, it was terrible.
If you haven't seen it,

Speaker 1 it's on 4 OD. It's a police procedural documentary, in my opinion, the best one

Speaker 1 that I've ever seen. That's really good.

Speaker 1 It opens with the, it always seems to open with the initial call to the police, and then it's like the investigation and the interrogation of gives you a timeline of

Speaker 1 what they're thinking at the time, you know, the challenges.

Speaker 1 But so this guy, so the call comes in at about five in the morning that there's been a huge argument or a series of booms and then a series of gunshots are heard.

Speaker 1 And so people start phoning in. The police go out.
They get to the apartment and they find the mother and his siblings who are like 15 and 16, a brother and sister. And

Speaker 1 they've all been shot and he's fled the scene so they they're trying to track him down and um they they catch they catch some cctv footage of the building and they see him after the the murders just kind of strolling out of the building doesn't look yeah yeah you know in it like he's in any rush or anything he just sort of walking out and his he has such an odd walk so the next day um

Speaker 1 during the daytime, they put out some information to the police to say, we're looking for somebody who's, who who vaguely matches this distribution this description and at that point all they have really is the the clothes that he's wearing but they know that he didn't go back to the apartment uh and and they say just generally be on the lookout for anybody who's acting a little bit odd as well you know like just just just take them to one side and and and and just ask them you know how they're doing or whatever you know just just as like a like a as like a precaution you know yeah and so immediately they find this guy walking down the road, and he just looks, he just looks insane, doesn't he?

Speaker 1 The way that he's walking, like his arms aren't moving, and his fists are like down, like pointing right down to the ground and stuff.

Speaker 1 So they immediately stop him because they're told to stop anybody who looks a little bit weird. This guy is like the fucking poster child for weirdos walking down the road.

Speaker 1 Blood all over his t-shirt. Yeah, yeah.
So they stop him. He's covered.

Speaker 1 They're like, oh, hey, you know, how are you doing? Can we ask you a couple of questions? And his opener is, it was a murder.

Speaker 1 It's unbelievable.

Speaker 1 He's like, it was a murder. It was a murder.
They're like, all right, well,

Speaker 1 I think we found our man immediately. He was walking.

Speaker 1 I was watching it with Mrs. F because we always, we love 24 hours in police custody.
And I said to her straight away, I said, this guy is 100% on the spectrum.

Speaker 1 100 million percent.

Speaker 1 Because I recognize some of his behavior, the way he spoke, the questions he asked, and the details that he asked.

Speaker 1 Like he asked hypothetical questions of the police that you think, now is not the time. You know what I mean? Like, he's like, what if I just jumped and attacked you right now?

Speaker 1 You know, stuff like that. That's the sort of thing that he would ask.

Speaker 1 Just weird questions. He had a routine that he wanted to stick to, like all the classic hallmarks

Speaker 1 of someone with ASD. So I thought that was, and I immediately thought to myself, this guy's a gamer.
I guarantee you this guy's a gamer.

Speaker 1 And of course, he plays Roblox, he plays Minecraft, he's balls deep at the internet. Yeah, he's obsessed with Clem from the Walking Telltale.
Clementine from the Walking Dead Telltale games is like

Speaker 1 he's a pedo as well. Let's need it be said.
Basically, he is, yeah. But yeah, so his plan was to be the biggest mass shooter in Britain and America.

Speaker 1 He had enough, he wanted to beat the, what is it, Virginia Tech. Well, the Sandy Hook here, it was all modeled on the Sandy Hook

Speaker 1 shooter as well.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. But his number, his number was from Virginia Tech.
Oh, right. That guy's

Speaker 1 the numero Uno in that community. Anyway, I don't want to spoil too much.
It is a really, really good episode. It's really good.
It's really sad. I mean,

Speaker 1 it is sad. But normally, once they've caught the guy in some episodes, you're like, well, they've caught him now.
And now he's just going to say no comment to everything.

Speaker 1 But this guy is genuinely horrific entertainment, if you like. You're just maddened.
You're just blown away that this guy existed. Yeah.
And that

Speaker 1 that he was allowed to fester in the worst way. Oh, he did really.
And it turned into this terrible thing. The thing that amazes me is that he so easily in the UK just bought a shotgun and ammunition.

Speaker 1 Like it didn't seem at all tricky for him to do this. He just went online,

Speaker 1 organized the sale, met a guy in a parking lot with 650 pounds and just bought a full double barrel shotgun with

Speaker 1 when people talk about how you can't get guns in the UK, I've said this to for years because I remember when I bought my air rifle, which I bought because we had a squirrel problem and I thought this would solve it.

Speaker 1 It did. There was a shop on the high street near me

Speaker 1 that sold shotguns and air rifles.

Speaker 1 And I went in there and I was like, oh my God, there's the shotguns. He was like, yeah, yeah, you need a license, but you can get one.

Speaker 1 You just get a license. You just get a license.

Speaker 1 And I mean, I think you need to show a reason why you would reasonably have one. For instance, pest control, farmland, vermin control, you know, that kind of stuff.

Speaker 1 The farmers can have shotguns because apparently they need them to shoot badgers or whatever. Like, you know, they're allowed to have them.

Speaker 1 But I don't think people realize how easy it is to get a gun in this country if you really want to.

Speaker 1 Obviously, the thing is, owning one illegally is a prison sentence. Like, if you get caught, you are going to fucking jail.
He just forged up this.

Speaker 1 document he obviously downloaded a fake shotgun license from the dark web went down this guy met him and was like yeah you piece of paper you've done looks fine there's no national database, I guess.

Speaker 1 And one of the coppers was like, I didn't, even I didn't know it was this easy to get a gun. Like he literally

Speaker 1 met it was really surprising. He showed him a piece of paper and the guy, and the guy was like, the guy who sold him the gun was distraught.
He's like, oh my God, I thought it was a legit sale.

Speaker 1 But the way he was like, yeah, yeah, I'll drive to you implies that this happens all the time. Yes.
The people are set, the guns are trading hands in private hands all the time.

Speaker 1 I am genuinely quite surprised. I presume that there's no restrictions on it other than you need a piece of paper.
Like there's if my car MOT, you can look up my license plate and it'll say, Yes, MOT.

Speaker 1 I actually got it MOT'd yesterday. Bam, there it is online.
Oh, yeah. So now I see you're so courageous now that you know that you're covered.
You're like, Yeah, you could check me out anytime.

Speaker 1 Look it up. Look it up.
And it's right there online. But there's no equivalent for shotgun licenses, I guess, because otherwise this guy would have just done that.

Speaker 1 He wouldn't have needed a bit of paper. It seems crazy, doesn't it? You're right, Lula.
You're very quiet. Just he's absorbing.
Just absorbing.

Speaker 1 He's taking I'm still not sure it's okay for you to be shooting squirrels. You can't, yes, you absolutely can.

Speaker 1 I know you can.

Speaker 1 You can, but I don't think it's

Speaker 1 on the road and just take like one giant dump in front of everyone. It's like, I can do that.

Speaker 1 All right, so legally speaking, you're allowed to fire an air rifle on your property as long as the round. I'm getting very nerdy into this.
No, I understand you didn't.

Speaker 1 As long as the shot or the round doesn't leave your property, that's fine. You can shoot an air rifle on your property, no problem.

Speaker 1 You were allowed to squirrels are classed as vermin, especially I'm not shooting them just because they're in my garden. This one was coming in the house

Speaker 1 constantly. It was coming in the house.
It was coming to the back door, coming in the cat flap. I'd come downstairs and there's a fucking squirrel in the house.
It was just this one.

Speaker 1 So I was like, all right, this bold motherfucker's got to go. So I got the air rifle and I shot and killed the squirrel.
That's the end of it. Okay.
Okay. What did you do? So hang on, walk me through.

Speaker 1 I ate it, raw.

Speaker 1 It stopped.

Speaker 1 Did it just stop long enough for you to shoot it? No, believe it or not, it was...

Speaker 1 Did you have to leave the shot? Like,

Speaker 1 were you tracking it?

Speaker 1 I don't know if the listeners... I'm sure there are listeners out there who are horrified.
It makes that sound when you shot him, like that you hear in cogs

Speaker 1 like that. No, it didn't make the tick sound from a cog hip.
So here's how I did it.

Speaker 1 I just sat in my office, which in that point was at the back of the house in the old conservatory, with the back doors open. And I had my air rifle just rested on another chair with a cushion on top.

Speaker 1 You had a sniper nest. You had a sniper.
And I just waited.

Speaker 1 I literally waited for him.

Speaker 1 You got like a ghillie suit on. I left out some water.

Speaker 1 Were you like whittling some wood and like smoking your

Speaker 1 cigarette while you were just waiting for your prey to turn?

Speaker 1 I just put a little bit of food out. I knew he'd come.
And of course, he just

Speaker 1 sees me and he starts coming towards me. And

Speaker 1 he was literally a foot away from the barrel of the air rifle when I shot him. It was the easiest shot, impossible to miss.
And he just went and keeled over dead. So I disposed of the body.

Speaker 1 Did it feel weird picking up his dead body after you'd killed him? No, what was weird was him living in my fucking house. That was weird.
Did you pick him up with your hands or did you use the dust

Speaker 1 and brush? No, I just, I think I might have put on some rubber gloves. I bagged him up and I threw him out.
That was

Speaker 1 a bag. I put him in the bin and then put him in my rubbish.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which bin? Just my regular garbage bag.
How long,

Speaker 1 what was the lead time between you putting the dead squirrel in the bin and then the bins being collected? I can't remember, but it certainly wouldn't have been longer than a couple of days.

Speaker 1 Right, so every time you went to throw out a bag after that, did you think that there's a dead squirrel?

Speaker 1 Don't put in the food squirrel. It's just a dead squirrel.
It's a disease. It's just a dead squirrel.
It doesn't bother me. It doesn't bother me at all.
It's just a dead squirrel.

Speaker 1 I'd feel so weird killing a squirrel. I saw a dead squirrel in the park the other day.

Speaker 1 If you could catch one with your bare hands and wring its little neck, would you kill it that way, or would you prefer to do it with a gun? It's a quicker, cleaner kill with the gun. I'll say that.

Speaker 1 If you could catch it with your bare hands and then swipe it with a knife, would you do it like that? Again, it's a bit getting your hands in there. You know, knives, knives for a pro.

Speaker 1 I'm not saying I'm a pro. Guns for show, knives for a pro.
I'm not a pro. I don't think I could.
I don't even think I could actually kill an animal, you know? Like, I'm not even just saying that.

Speaker 1 Like, I think I would just, it would, it would unsettle me. You know, I wouldn't.
By the way, this episode is now going to go down as I'm a psycho for shooting a squirrel. I apologize.

Speaker 1 I've never known anyone kill

Speaker 1 like a squirrel. A living thing before.

Speaker 1 First, I mean, they are, it's just a squirrel. Like, they're not in danger.
Was it a red squirrel? No, God, no. It was a fucking squirrel squirrel.
They're not even meant to be here.

Speaker 1 Gray squirrels are an invasive species. Did you know that? So you've decided to

Speaker 1 enact your own vigilante starters. One time only.

Speaker 1 One time only, and only because he crossed the line and kept coming in the house. Now, I could, it was impossible, given that we had cats, for me to just bar up the cat flat because they needed it.

Speaker 1 What kind of stuff was he doing when he got into your house? Just coming in, eating food, like looking for shit.

Speaker 1 If we had anything in the house that he wanted, he would just fucking come in and eat it. Jesus.

Speaker 1 So, how does the family feel about this squirrel execution? This was pre-children. Right.
Oh, really? Yes. So, what this is.
You sound like you were wild before you had kids.

Speaker 1 Do you think kids calm you down a little bit?

Speaker 1 No, I just got to take care of business.

Speaker 1 This is a long time ago. Did you have a full

Speaker 1 head of hair back then?

Speaker 1 I think I might have had hair back then, yeah. So I was a hairy, wild huntsman.
Okay,

Speaker 1 did you do the same thing today? In the same circumstances? Absolutely. Right.

Speaker 1 Why hesitate? Well, I mean, by now you know it works. It's effective.
But I understand that it's uncommon in this country for this to happen.

Speaker 1 Anyone that is listening to this that lives in any kind of rural area, this is no big deal. Like, I realize it's unusual to do this in a London suburb.
I understand that.

Speaker 1 I also understand that probably no one else of the Yoggs, other than perhaps Tom, would be comfortable shooting or Duncan, actually. I would put Duncan in there.
You think Duncan would shoot a

Speaker 1 squirrel? I reckon he would shoot a squirrel. Yeah, of course.
I reckon he would.

Speaker 1 When is Duncan get like this this badge that he's like some outdoorsman when he only goes to Glastonbury like once a year? I'm just saying I reckon he would. You know,

Speaker 1 what? Like what? He's a hunter now? Like, come on. Sorry, do you think you deserve this badge?

Speaker 1 I don't think I deserve it. I just know that Dolphin doesn't deserve it.
Okay. I'm not saying he's not taking anything away from me here.
I just, I'm calling it.

Speaker 1 Calling it away by taking it away from me. Everybody just assumes that he's just like some, you know, he's like fucking bare grills out there.
He's not.

Speaker 1 He's not.

Speaker 1 But listen, I think that, Jewel, I think you probably have a point, P-Flax, that I think people with dogs or cats don't care about the amount of birds and mice and other stuff they rats you know that they kill you know and i mean yeah i was playing

Speaker 1 there's always someone's

Speaker 1 right yeah i was like if your dog if your dog caught and killed a squirrel would would that be like a problem or you know a wild rabbit is that a problem that i'm sure it happens right depends your dog put the squirrel in the bin after it killed it What would you have done with it?

Speaker 1 Have a little funeral pyre, like Viking style, put him in the river near me on a little boat surrounded by nuts. I wouldn't.

Speaker 1 So I don't appreciate you trying to turn this on me to make me look like I'm a weirdo. You're the one who shot a squirrel.

Speaker 1 There's nothing weird about that is my point. That is I don't love the Viking funeral burial.

Speaker 1 What am I supposed to do? Like fucking launch a flaming arrow at his little canoe

Speaker 1 like I'd miss that and there's no way I would hit that. Like the canoe would be so small.
Like it'd be like this tiny little canoe with a squirrel in it.

Speaker 1 You want to throw it in the

Speaker 1 compost,

Speaker 1 even compost. No, you can't compost.
You can't compost the dead remains of a squirrel.

Speaker 1 That's not compostable. Yeah, you're not meant to put meat or anything like that in there.
Well, really? What the hell, Lewis? You would do that? I think you could just bury it.

Speaker 1 We got one killing squirrels, and we got another one suggesting to put them in a compost pot. What the heck is going on?

Speaker 1 That's all. You guys are fucking cooked.
Like, what's going on here?

Speaker 1 What's happened to this podcast? I thought I knew you guys.

Speaker 1 I mean, I killed one squirrel one time, and I think it was just period. You're going to be in the next episode of 24 Hours of Police Justice.

Speaker 1 They're going to see you walking down the street, and the police is going to stop you. You're going to say, I didn't murder him.
It wasn't. I was walking up.

Speaker 1 It must have been about six o'clock in the morning. I heard the faint sound of an airsoft rifle go off.
I'm a little concerned.

Speaker 1 It's not airsoft.

Speaker 1 Wait, well,

Speaker 1 it was an air rifle. It's an air rifle.
An air rifle.

Speaker 1 Sorry. Yeah.
I mean, you could kill it. It was a small rodent with an airsoft, though, if you hit it in the head or something.
I don't think so. They're really not that powerful.
I mean,

Speaker 1 you could

Speaker 1 probably kill one with a paintball gun. With a paintball.

Speaker 1 It was a little mouse or something, maybe. Yeah, I guess.
Like a little mouse. Maybe we crushed them.
Knocked it off a building. I don't know.

Speaker 1 I don't think it's. I don't think that.

Speaker 1 That's absurd. Who's doing that?

Speaker 1 Who's gonna knock a mouse off a building? Like, stop fucking dr. Seuss.

Speaker 1 Like, we're not gonna knock a mouse off a building here.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, I guess. Well, look, hey, I just want to say to anyone that any of our listeners that were put off about the fact that I shot a squirrel, please email in.
I'd like to hear

Speaker 1 some of your takes on it. Fuck, don't open it.
Anyone else out there? You know,

Speaker 1 I'm happy to. No, I think I'm hoping to be pleasantly surprised that I will get supportive emails saying, yes, of course, vermin sometimes, you know, they got to be shot.

Speaker 1 Some guy will, it was probably a vermin control expert that's going to email in and say, I do this for a living. I've killed 100 squirrels a week since I was 18 years old.

Speaker 1 They call me the squirrel murderer, you know, whatever.

Speaker 1 I'm sure we'll get some supportive emails. I'm sure I'll get some people saying, you're terrible, man.
Even though squirrels are literally listed as vermin, you can kill them. Yeah, I know.

Speaker 1 And it was humane. It was humane.
It was one shot kill.

Speaker 1 That woman that does the YouTube videos where people call her up when they have like a really big bee or wasp infestation. Yeah, she's great.

Speaker 1 Okay, imagine she just turned up with a flamethrower every time. Like, it wouldn't be, it wouldn't be fun to watch, would it? Or maybe for some people it would be.

Speaker 1 But, you know, there's literally dozens of videos of people flamethrowing wasp nests and hornet nests. You watch those? Yes.
Fuck those things.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean,

Speaker 1 but like, if you had a wasp nest, if you had a massive hornet nest in your house,

Speaker 1 you'd want them to go in and

Speaker 1 offer them

Speaker 1 hornets. Let's parlay here.
What will it take to get you guys to move out?

Speaker 1 Perhaps this vat of honey, if I put that in the nearby park, you could move there instead. And the hornet's like,

Speaker 1 no deal, humans.

Speaker 1 Like the Ferengi.

Speaker 1 Would you do that? If a lad turned up

Speaker 1 on this one, he was like, listen, Mr. Smith.

Speaker 1 Your house, and it's infested with wasps and there's a huge wasp nest in your house. What are you doing?

Speaker 1 Have I got any petrol? My God. You can acquire petrol.
Well, you're not going to get

Speaker 1 inside your house, you're not going to burn out a wasp nest. No, no, no.
Apparently, if you get petrol in a little

Speaker 1 layer of petrol in a bucket and you put it under the wasp nest. And then you set fire to it.
It'll be fine. No, and then you just put it under because the fumes

Speaker 1 vaporize so quickly. Right.
It just kills all the wasps. So you're gassing them to death.
And somehow that is like, oh, that's the humane way to do it. Just fucking torture them.

Speaker 1 They're going to be dead in a second.

Speaker 1 Dead.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, listen, I've got some articles here to read to you. So, first of all, do it.
Former Syrian president, President Bashar. Bashar al-Assad, isn't it? Bashar al-Assad.

Speaker 1 He is reportedly spending his exile in, which I assume is Russia playing video games.

Speaker 1 I wonder if he's a doteran.

Speaker 1 Video games. What are they?

Speaker 1 What kind of games are you?

Speaker 1 What kind of games do you think he would be into? I bet he's a doter man. He's in Russia.
Apparently, he has hour-long gaming sessions. Hour-long? Just an hour long?

Speaker 1 An hour-long? Wow. Sometimes he visits a mall,

Speaker 1 a shopping mall. Right.
There you go. That is what he's doing.
He's playing online games. Games online games.
I wonder what games he's playing. Yeah, I wonder too.

Speaker 1 Maybe he's making fun of like a

Speaker 1 custom game in Roblox or something. This is his daily mail article, you scum.
He's big into it. It's all game rant.
It's all neither one getting it from. He lives in a

Speaker 1 lavish apartment, apparently.

Speaker 1 In a nice apartment, plays games all day. Cool.

Speaker 1 I wonder if he gets flamed playing COD. Do you know who I am? Emotional kill.

Speaker 1 And then he snaps his thing. He's like, Death squad, take him away.
And then he's like, oh, wait. Those days are over.

Speaker 1 And then he does like the fucking Pablo Escobar thing where he sits on a bench by himself and then just quietly leaves and leaves the lobby. He's getting a top.

Speaker 1 Prime DMs call him a cunt.

Speaker 1 And there's a little tear in his eye.

Speaker 1 I could have had you killed, baby. I wish Edmund Storm's news.

Speaker 1 As if that doesn't need any more whiplash. This is an article from Kotaku.
One of the biggest YouTubers in the world has asked fans to stop paying him. Apparently,

Speaker 1 this is what it takes now to get the news. And honestly, I applaud it.
Moist Critical, you know,

Speaker 1 he's made 35 million bucks. He's a rich guy.

Speaker 1 He's rich, yeah. He has turned off YouTube memberships and super chats.
He hasn't turned off Twitch subs, though,

Speaker 1 for reasons. Now, listen, Moist Critical, I applaud you and what you're doing here.
Fantastic. If you want to give back, you can donate,

Speaker 1 please.

Speaker 1 You could maybe run a charity event or something like that. You know, there are lots of ways that you can.

Speaker 1 I know these streamers are that most of them are far worse than he's one of the best ones, honestly. I think he seems like a pretty good bloke from what I've seen of him.

Speaker 1 I don't know if he's had some terrible past, but he seems like a good if you are serious about you know being charitable.

Speaker 1 There is a lot you can do with your platform beyond just you know turning off YouTube memberships and stuff.

Speaker 1 I think he's stepping back because he just wants he needs to free up some more time to kill squirrels. I was just saying, he was going to rifle.

Speaker 1 He was going to do a charity about shot squirrels. Over 13 squirrels are killed every year in the UK.

Speaker 1 Hi, I'm moist critical. Every day,

Speaker 1 65 squirrels are slain by my hands.

Speaker 1 Every day, the blood of defeated squirrels sloshes around my feet as I stand over a tiny pile of grains down the streets of our great nation because I killed myself. Because I killed so many.

Speaker 1 Stop me before I kill again.

Speaker 1 Stop giving me money.

Speaker 1 Stop me. Stop paying me.
All the money you've given me

Speaker 1 towards funding my squirrel killing.

Speaker 1 All the money I've ever earned has gone into devising a network of assassins and machinery for the murder of grey squirrels in the Twickenham area.

Speaker 1 And my work is complete. You may now stop sending the money.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 good. So, yes.

Speaker 1 Amazing. It's great news.
And I want to hear more of it, please.

Speaker 1 So a cosplayer who dressed up as a frog has been the new face of ICE protests in Portland. Oh, yeah.
That's right. I think we've all seen this.

Speaker 1 This poor guy,

Speaker 1 so it's an inflatable costume, which has like a little intake fan,

Speaker 1 you know, to keep it inflated. and to get air circulation.
Man, somebody fucking pepper sprayed the fan. Oh, Jesus.

Speaker 1 But apparently this guy is kind of like pepper spray proof. Like, it doesn't bother him.
So he was just like, whatever. But like, if that was me, I'd be fucking dead.

Speaker 1 If somebody pepper sprayed my air supply fan.

Speaker 1 That is quite a funny attack, though. To see

Speaker 1 it is into the air hole of your fucking cosplay frog. Worrying as well, though.
I mean, these people are sworn to serve and protect. No, they're not.
I don't know why. No, no, you don't.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, no I'm wrong. These are these are ICE agents.
Yeah, they're not. They are not sworn to do whatever the fuck anybody wants.

Speaker 1 They just, uh, I mean, I've seen so much of the news about these guys, it's fucking terrifying. That's why I mean, fucking go in there as long as those fuckers are around.
I tell you that much.

Speaker 1 No, I think

Speaker 1 they've moved along. So, there's lots more inflatable costumes out.
Lots of it's uh, yeah, it's it's a good good.

Speaker 1 Well, apparently, apparently, the uh, the next big deployment is going to be to san francisco and they're just like rubbing their hands together because like all these all these guys are gonna like put their latex on and go out and protest like

Speaker 1 lubed up and in the nude and stuff so that's your hi ashbury yeah um holy shit that is our podcast thank you for joining us everyone as always we love you and be safe take it easy take it love you love one another yeah and and good good and party on dudes good but god bless you everyone.

Speaker 1 Yeah, take it easy. Keep your keep your

Speaker 1 guns oiled, keep your pecker up, look after them. Keep your second.