229: Freaking Out.. Ft. Angela Giarratana

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Oh,

I'm crying before we even start the episode today.

So we know it's going to be a good one.

And I wish I could play that Eminem song without getting like hit with copyright infringement.

Yeah, which song?

Guess who's back?

Guess who's back?

Guess who's who's back?

Hey.

Yay!

We've got Angela Giratana back in the studio today.

Thank you for having me.

I love this place.

I'm just going to like keep you captive.

Like, you can't go home.

You can't go back to your mothership.

I could truly sleep right on the here.

Okay, it's not that comfortable.

No, I think it's so comfy.

Are you kidding?

You're just pumping my tires.

Yeah.

Everyone's not the asshole in this comfy chair.

Oh my gosh.

I am so excited for all the stories we have today.

I feel like I traumatized you a little bit last time.

And like today is definitely...

There's one story I will warn you guys right now.

Please, please, please pay close attention to the trigger warning if you are grossed out easily.

But other than that, we've just got like a a bunch of like chaos.

Like, I'm freaking out.

Okay, this is good.

I love this.

I love this.

Ah, like, ah!

Ah!

Okay, okay.

That's relatable.

That's good.

Can you tell I've had too much caffeine today?

Me too.

I'm bouncing off.

How much caffeine have you had?

I think 30 ounces.

How much is that?

Cups.

A big, big one.

A big boy.

Tall boy.

Big, big, tall boy.

That's it?

Mm-hmm.

Oh my God.

That's it.

Are you?

I have my two cups in the morning, my afternoon cup.

I just have my afternoon cup.

Oh, you're ready to rock.

You are ready to rock.

Do you have anything you want to share with the people?

Like any updates?

Any like anything you're personally working on?

Like what's the deal?

You're doing a lot of improv.

Oh my gosh.

Let's think about it.

You just did a live show.

Yeah, I do a bunch of those.

I'm trying to think.

What's a funny thing?

The other day,

why did I say the other day?

Yesterday, instead of saying hi to someone, I did, I'm not kidding, I wowed myself.

I'm walking by this person, one of my coworkers.

She says hi, and I went, cool.

And I genuinely meant the word hi.

And I think I saw her outfit and I went, cool, hi.

So that's the update I got.

My brain has been short-circuiting lately.

I don't know what's in the air, Morgan.

I'm so excited for summer to go.

I'm not a summer girly.

There's not one big part of me that's summer.

It's like 100 degrees outside right now.

And I can't be cute.

I can't be hot.

I can't be delicate.

I can't be funny.

I can't be anything in this weather.

I'm a cozy girl.

Yeah.

That is.

You're like a fall girl?

A fall and winter.

Wait, Tiffany.

Have you ever gotten your natural colors or whatever?

All my friends are on this.

I need to.

I've been wanting to go to like one of the Korean color specials.

Yes.

Yeah.

I found out I'm a, but my friend like has, has her own version and it's not that good.

But I think I found out like I'm a, I'm like a warm fall.

But I also think it like coordinates to like your vibes.

Does she do other readings?

Can I get?

I'll send her your picture.

Okay, thank God.

Yeah.

This is what I need.

We'll make sure that you're a woman.

So you like a winter girly?

Like, what's your vibe?

Well, I grew up in Minnesota.

It's just like snow.

It's It's cold.

And do you like snow?

I love it.

I miss it every day.

Really?

Do you like to ride horses in snow?

Do you do that?

They do bounce a little more, but I love like driving cars in the snow.

I like snow angels.

I like hot cocoa.

I know.

It's so much better.

It's also so easy to like be fashionable.

I don't know.

You can layers.

Layers.

Doesn't look cute.

Add another layer.

Still doesn't look right.

Add another layer.

Truly.

I don't think anything that goes on top of a bathing suit is cute.

Not one article.

No, everything.

I think meant for a bachelorette trip yes anything yeah like big dresses with holes in it no yeah no i'm not about it all really ugly yeah not about it okay without further ado okay let's dive in

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Okay, this first one.

Okay,

you got, don't, don't fret.

You're okay

scared.

You got this.

This is coming from Am I the the Asshole?

It's two months old.

Titled, Am I the Asshole for Leaving Dinner Early After My Boyfriend's Friend Introduced Me as the Current One?

Okay.

So my boyfriend, 31 male, invited me to dinner with his college group.

One of his female friends, 30 female, who I've never met before, came late, looked me up and down, and then said,

Oh,

so you're the current one.

Cute.

I was stunned.

No one laughed.

No one corrected her.

My boyfriend just kind of chuckled awkwardly and changed the subject.

I sat there in silence for another 20 minutes before excusing myself and leaving.

Took an Uber home.

He called me later and said that I embarrassed him by making it a thing and that I should have just been chill

because she didn't mean anything by it.

He wants me to apologize to her for walking out quote like a child

am i the asshole for not tolerating that kind of blatant disrespect

she has to apologize to her

that's what he's demanding oh

the current one i mean that's how you introduced me today as your guest cute the current one cute cute

so you're the one that's sitting here the current one cute cute wow that sucks

they've definitely hooked up Oh my God, because I was about to be like, I don't want to make this about the genders, but is this.

Oh, he's a man and this is a woman.

Uh-huh.

Friend of his.

She's definitely at least got a crush on him, has like liked him.

Like, yeah.

You don't just treat your friend's girlfriend this way otherwise, unless you're like extremely jealous, insecure.

Like there's, there's a big emotion there.

Yeah, big emotion.

I also feel like it's giving like early.

2000s, 90s movies where like any guy with a with a lady friend that wasn't his date was protective over him and she was a a bitch to girls he was dating.

It's just so old.

Tail as old as time.

Time.

Women hating women.

Tail as old as time.

Do you sing?

Yeah, but not like that.

I was like, that was really good.

Tail is in it.

Wow, do you sing?

It was good.

Oh my God, thanks.

I cannot.

You cannot.

No.

You have an amazing talking voice.

Thank you.

I was trying to listen back to an episode of myself earlier for clues.

I was just like, cringe, cringe.

Are you kidding?

It's hard hearing yourself.

No, you have such a good voice.

Thank you.

I feel bad for this girl, though.

I do too.

I think, like, it's very clear, too, that your boyfriend isn't going to have your side.

So there's a lack of respect on his part, too, because he didn't say anything in the moment.

He didn't be like, oh, he was there when she did that.

Right there.

And he didn't shut it down.

He wasn't like, hey, Becca, like, chill out.

This is Molly.

Yeah.

Like, there was no introduction.

There was no nipping it in the bud.

There was no, like, putting a kibosh to it.

So now the boyfriend's essentially demonstrated that this behavior is okay.

It's also like, I would be humiliated if someone looked at my partner and was like, that's Angela's current one.

I'd be like, I'd be embarrassed.

I'd be like, oh, I don't date that much.

I did intentionally and responsibly.

Like, it's giving like slappy on his part, too.

Yeah.

But of course, we're going to fault the woman.

That's a really good point.

Yeah.

Like I feel like it was like, here's Morgan's current person.

Oh yeah.

Like essentially he's just running through all these girls.

You'd be like, shh, don't say that.

That's awful.

Yeah.

But not only did he do that, then he was just like, why isn't she laughing?

Take a joke.

Don't be a child.

Whoa.

You're so right.

That's, that's sad.

And she left.

I'm glad she left.

She sat through 20 minutes.

Like, that is impressive.

She tried to make an effort, tried to get past it.

Good for her.

Good for her.

Not everyone can like take that stand in a group setting, especially.

Like there's so much pressure to just like move past it, be the bigger person,

like just get stuck in it.

And she left.

Unfortunately, I think a toxic trait about me is if that happened to me, I'd stay there and need her approval the whole night.

I'm a people pleaser too.

Yeah.

And that's wrong because that one was mean and she did that to make her feel bad and I'd fall right for it.

You need to like seek her approval.

I'd be like, I'm not the current one, I'm the, I'm the eternal one, I'm the perfect one.

I really struggle with that too, where it's just like you just try to please everyone.

And there was actually a quote, oh, and it was on the um, the like day in a life with Angela thing that you did with Anthony.

Oh my god, and it's literally in like the first 20 seconds, but you're like, you're just like, I just want everyone to like me, and when they don't, like, it just like,

and I was like, same.

Oh, you're one of those things.

Yeah, Yeah.

Like, it's just like, you just put your best foot forward.

And like, when you're just trying to like, you know, be out there and do you and like people literally like hate you for you.

You're like, fuck.

You're like, I will do, you're like, challenge accepted.

You think I'm annoying?

Let me show you annoying.

Oh, I feel like I feel the pressure anytime I meet someone I'm dating's buddy or friend.

I am like.

Showtime, baby.

You want to.

You want to like make a good impression.

And right off the bat, she says, oh, doesn't even say her name.

You're the current.

What a small weight.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

No, not the asshole.

I think that is very clear.

Top comment does agree.

Yeah.

With 25,000 upvotes, not the asshole.

One, she was plain fucking rude.

Two, he didn't say anything.

Three, he was more concerned at his embarrassment, not yours.

And four,

perfectly reasonable response.

Yep.

Perfectly reasonable.

Yeah, OP does respond.

Exactly.

It wasn't just the comment.

It was the silence that followed.

If he had even acknowledged how out of line it was, I probably would have stayed.

But instead, I was the only one who felt uncomfortable and ended up being blamed for reacting.

No.

Which now that I think about it, the fact that he wants her to apologize to this girlfriend, it's kind of like, well, why do you care about her feelings so much?

Why do why do you care about her feelings?

Yeah, like, why do we need to apologize to her

when she, when your girly is the one that's walking out?

Mm-hmm.

Hmm.

Something.

Check his phone.

No, I'm kidding.

Do it.

I'm so against it, but something's off here.

There's a fish about or something.

Yeah, no, I'm against that too.

But I just, that's a little weird, a little funky that he cares so much about her opinion.

It is.

I'm looking at the comments.

We

don't have any update from OP.

Nothing about, I'm calling it breaking up.

I like to think that she's too busy dating somebody amazing that calls her the one in a not pressure-filled way and not the current one.

I do have this one that's a little, a little read between the lines though from OP.

Okay.

So I think someone was like, hey, blessing in disguise.

Like she showed you what bullet you're dodging.

And OP goes, honestly, that's kind of how I'm starting to see it now.

If someone can disrespect me to my face and he says nothing, that says a lot.

I might not send her flowers, but I'll definitely thank her silently for the wake-up call.

Whoa.

Yeah.

It's kind of like you can't blame his friend for being rude.

You can blame him for being surrounded by rude people because you're dating him.

You're not dating her.

Yeah.

And you're like, oh, this is just not a good.

These are the people he likes.

Yeah.

That is a really good point.

It's like, can you be upset with her?

Yeah.

But like, you can't really hold her accountable.

It's his friend.

You're not in a relationship with her.

You're in a relationship with him.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like a you guru.

Okay.

Moving on to this next one.

Okay.

I'm warm now.

I got it.

Buckle up, everybody.

Okay.

This is coming from our very own Two Hot Takes subreddit.

This is like so beautiful.

You have one of those.

Little family out there.

It's like really cool.

Okay.

Lil Family.

It is a month old titled, I'm in love with my father-in-law, and I don't know how to handle it.

With your father-in-law.

Arena!

I told you, are you buckled?

Okay.

Like the title says, I am almost sure I am in love with or love more than I should my father-in-law.

My partner and I have been together for eight years and we have an amazing relationship.

We are truly best friends, and I do love him more than anything or anyone.

Yes, more than my father-in-law.

Okay.

About two years ago, I started working with my father-in-law at his company, and since then, we have grown a lot closer as we talk a lot more.

I don't work directly with him or see him every day, but I see him way more than my partner sees him.

Throughout the course of our relationship, he has become a parental figure in my life.

My dad is great, but I have never had a huge amount of respect for him.

That would be another Reddit post on its own.

Yeah.

I love my dad, but my father-in-law is just better.

Fucked up thing to say, but it is the truth.

The issue is, I don't know what's going on anymore.

And when I say things casually like, I love my father-in-law, I make jokes like that constantly.

Never been an issue.

I just don't know if I'm joking anymore.

I made a joke last night that put things into perspective for me.

I said something along the lines of, quote, yeah, I would trade both of my parents if it meant father-in-law could live longer.

I would.

That's fucked.

I know it is, but I mean it.

I really would.

He gave me a necklace for Christmas, and I haven't taken it off since.

Is it because I love it that much, or because he gave it to me?

I get butterflies when I see him pass that work.

Shut up.

Disappointed when he doesn't say hi or want to chat.

I've wanted to see him more.

I get excited when he comes around my partner's house.

I want him to be proud of me, respect me.

I want him to care about me a lot.

I don't know anymore if I truly love him like that or if I just am not used to having such a respectable, dependable, and lovable parental figure.

Yeah, daddy mommy issues, I know.

I just don't know how to handle these feelings.

I love my partner so much.

I will never tell him any of this.

And I'm going to stop making those jokes.

I just needed to put this somewhere.

And you did put it somewhere, girly.

Our very own subreddit.

Are you listening?

Oh my God, I hope you are.

Okay, whoa.

What are you thinking?

Uh,

baby.

Clearly, some issues that, like, you're dealing with, and you kind of recognize you're like, you're very self-aware to be like, mommy-daddy issues.

I know.

I don't know if I love this Christmas gift because he gave it to me or because I just love it that much.

Like, I don't know if I truly love him like that, or just because I haven't had such a dependable, reliable, lovable parental figure.

So, you're clearly struggling with it, but like, you, you got to quit working with him.

Yeah, something's a little bit too much.

I don't know what is.

Something's got to give.

But I think the love she's feeling or the connection she's feeling is coming from a real place.

And that's not wrong.

But the maybe she just like, I don't know.

I mean, people do this all the time on Reddit.

People go from their partners to one of their in-laws and they, they, this happens.

What?

I've never heard of this happening on Reddit.

What rock have you been on?

People.

Yeah.

I had one story where...

The woman found out that her husband had been sleeping with her mom for years and some of her siblings were actually her husband's kids.

Oh my god.

Yes, this happened.

I'm like, can you read that one to me?

I'm saying it's like bedtime stories.

Okay, wait.

Okay, so next time I come, can you do all just those?

Okay.

But okay, this is new for me.

This, yeah, can I come on for an incest episode?

Please, what in?

Okay, but what's what's what's nice is like there were no like physical attributes or like any like um lust that I heard.

It felt like love, like uh-huh, like familial love.

I feel like some wires are just crossed.

Yeah, I feel like this is some deep,

I don't want to be like deep, but I do feel like there's a, there's a little girl inside her that just is feeling finally awoken by like being seen.

I know.

That is like a big part of therapy these days is like healing your inner child.

Yeah.

Have you seen?

There's like, um, my

friend's boyfriend has his self as a kid on his wallpaper on his phone.

And I was like, what you doing there, bud?

Yeah.

And then my friend goes, I put that there on his phone so he could learn to be nice to his inner child.

That's a good reminder, I guess.

Yeah.

But this feels like an inner child thing because I'm not getting any like adult fantasy, like fantasy, any like,

I want him to walk by and touch me.

It's just like, I want him to say hi to me in the morning.

This wasn't a smut post.

Exactly.

Yeah.

No, the only thing is like the butterflies when he walks by.

Which like.

I'm trying to think if I've ever genuinely gotten butterflies from my dad.

Like dad butterflies.

You know what I mean?

Like we'll call them doves.

Not like, no, it's where they fly.

It's not where the, it's not about the butt.

It's not about the bird or the bug.

It's not, it's where it goes.

You know, when you have butterflies low

versus butterflies high.

Yep.

Okay.

He says someone gives you a compliment and you're like, oh, it made me feel special up here.

Okay.

Versus like when your fiancé gives you a butterfly down there.

Oh my god, it's the placement of the butterflies, not the bug.

I need to go home.

I can't believe I figured it out.

Oh man.

But like when your parent makes you feel really loved and appreciated.

Yes, it's warm and fuzzy.

Versus a different type of warm.

Everyone is so scared at home right now.

You know what I mean by that, right?

I think most people do.

I hope most people do.

Top comment on this one.

You should really get a new job.

That's what I was saying.

You just got to get a case a new job.

Yeah.

Next one down.

And new partner and therapy as well.

Well, she really loves her partner.

If I read anything from that.

I'm sorry.

Love was all caps.

Like, all caps.

I love my partner.

Yeah, she really loves her partner.

I know.

And I think a lot of people are just like, sounds like you are allowing yourself to drift into murky waters.

Maybe it's time to look for a new drop.

Drop.

Drop.

And stop obsessing over your father-in-law.

Yeah.

Because I think that's what's hard about our brains is like

we can convince ourselves of like anything.

Don't even get me started.

Anything.

So it's like, if you're like, I love my father-in-law.

Actually, like, I love him.

It's like, well, you're going to convince yourself of that.

And then it's that murky water of like, I, no, I love him versus no, I love him.

Like fan, like, fic and stuff.

Like, where people get like a, like, they're like, oh, Harry Styles like looked at me in the concert.

But you, you know, like, have you ever been in a concert where you feel like they looked at you?

Yeah.

And you're like, they didn't look at me.

This is like when I was little and I would go to Jonas Brothers concerts.

I remember being like, Joe looked at me.

Well, it's a little odd for me because I like, I got on stage with Justin Bieber.

So like he was actually looking at me.

Okay, dude.

So just drop it, dude.

Wait, that's amazing.

Were you like, what are the like, what do they call it?

Lonely girl, one less lonely girl.

Shut up.

That's some Morgan lore for you.

Yeah.

And he was like touching my face.

No, he wasn't.

It was so weird.

And he was like, like, you were teens and you were a teen.

Yeah, I think it was like 17.

17.

17.

You were a one less lonely girl.

I know.

And it's so awkward up there.

But like, okay, oh, here's a great example for you.

Okay.

So we do live shows as well.

Yeah.

And we were at a live show and someone messaged my fiancé after the show and was like, I saw you looking at me.

And like when you're on stage, like you actually can't really see anyone in the crowd.

No.

When those lights are on you, like it's just, it's black out there.

Yes.

And sometimes people think that we can hear them and talk to them.

And

yeah.

What?

Yeah.

So I'm just like, like I got a DM.

Yeah.

I'm like, wait, you just, you just paid to come hit on my fiancé?

Like,

I saw you looking at me.

I mean, shoot your shot, I guess.

But long shot.

Okay, but so this feels just like a like an imaginary something, right?

I don't know if this is anything based off of lust or like she just really wants like an intense something.

I don't know.

Like I was talking to my friend who's a married woman and she tells me she has crushes all the time.

And she's like, it's very healthy.

No, I think a crush is healthy.

Yeah.

It's just like you can't act on that crush.

And this is very different than what that is, right?

Like

I just think it's natural sometimes for your brain to go places is what my point is.

Sure.

Like everyone daydreams.

Like when you're reading those smut books, like you're kind of getting into it.

Like, you know, and it's a difference of like, oh, I have a crush on this cute celebrity that's on TV versus you have a crush on someone that's right in front of you, potentially attainable, and your father-in-law.

And your father-in-law.

That's right.

Like, if you're putting all caps for how much you love your partner, think about how much this would affect your partner.

They've been together eight years.

Yeah.

We got to get a new job.

New job.

Or work from home.

Remote.

Remote.

Remote could be an option.

And just limit your Zoom calls with him.

Yeah.

We do have an update.

Did she go get another job?

Did she go on LinkedIn and find something?

I cannot believe I'm even writing this, but again, I need to get this out of my head and out somewhere.

This is an update to my original post about being in love with my father-in-law, which I wrote mostly to get the feelings off my chest.

I never thought there would be anything to update until yesterday.

Okay.

My father-in-law pulled me aside at work yesterday as I was leaving for lunch.

He looked nervous, not like himself at all, and told me he needed to talk to me.

What he said honestly mirrored a lot of what I wrote in in my original post, almost word for word.

Shut up.

No, he didn't find my post.

He doesn't even have read it.

I know that conveniently because the app came up in conversation a couple of weeks ago at dinner with the family.

He said he didn't want to download it because he'll fall down the rabbit hole.

LOL.

Basically, he said he's been confused.

He feels ashamed.

And he doesn't know how to explain it.

He said he feels oddly drawn to me.

No, it's time to go.

As for a long time.

He didn't use any specific language like love or attraction, just that his feelings towards me were strange and intense and that they don't make sense to him.

He was visibly shaken.

And I want to be really, really clear here.

I have never said or done anything to suggest how I feel.

I don't care if that's hard to believe.

I swear on everything.

I've kept all of this completely to myself.

I believe you, girlie.

And during all of this, I did not mention or even hint that I felt any bit of the same way.

Okay.

When he finished talking, I just kind of blurted out, quote, I need to break up with my partner's name.

I don't know why.

Maybe because I instantly felt like everything was ruined.

He immediately shut that down, said absolutely not, that it would crush his son, and that he, father-in-law, would never forgive himself.

He begged me to just forget it happened, said it's just some weird emotional thing, and it will pass.

That we'll never talk about it again.

But how am I supposed to just forget it?

I've been trying to tell myself this whole time that maybe what I was feeling was some weird transference or trauma response or misplaced need for validation, like the comments suggested on my other post, I was ready to accept that and move the fuck on.

Now I don't know what to think.

The dynamic between us is officially fucked.

I can't go back to normal.

How do I just make small talk with him now?

How do I go on with my partner like everything is normal?

How do I get out of this?

I don't even know what to think anymore.

I think actually, this is the craziest update I've ever heard.

Like, not crazy isn't bad, but like, just wild.

I feel really accomplished that I provide.

I give her a lot of updates.

What do you do?

Okay, so maybe this isn't she needs a therapy thing.

This is a shared feeling on both ends.

Something, something's happening.

Like, I can't imagine, and I do, I fully believe, like, she's been appropriate.

There's been like no mention.

Like, I fully believe that.

So, it's like, if you have two people that are feeling this like magical electrical chemistry, like compatibility, weird, whatever this is.

Like, what do you do?

What do you do?

Because this is the point where, like, everything decides to go good or bad, right?

For like everybody.

It's like, I mean, I like commend both of them to be like, I have the emotional intelligence and wherewithal to stop before we let this take over and be like, here are the feelings I'm feeling.

These are feelings.

Yeah.

Action has not been made, but these are feelings.

I think you really just need a clean break from both these people.

But then how do you tell your husband that?

I don't know.

And honestly, I think the word partner keeps getting used and they've been together eight years, but I'm not getting the vibe that they're married, especially with her being like, I need to break up with him.

Because you'd say I need to like.

Which like also kind of like speaks to this, like, maybe they met when they were super young and that's why they haven't like taken the relationship to the next level.

But also eight years is a decent amount of time

to

be in a relationship and not have the husband or wife or like more of a committed partner title.

I'm like so stressed.

I was like, I'm like, I know you were like, you're like a wedding.

I actually don't know what I would do.

I'm trying to think, what would you do?

I don't think you can date the dad.

Like, I think it would be really sad if you moved on and did try things with the dad and like

you're, you're severing that relationship between him and his son forever.

No.

Yeah.

When I'm thinking about like, what would I do?

Date the dad, I don't think is on that list.

I'm thinking just like, how do I,

like, how do we both acknowledge these feelings, acknowledge that they're wrong, acknowledge that the person we love is going to be hurt and then move aside?

That's what's really hard.

It's like, how do you not tell your partner that this is happening?

I know.

Do you think you could even get past it with therapy?

Or do you think that now it's implanted in your head?

Do you think you're always going to move forward?

Oh my God.

Like if you stayed with your partner through life, knowing his dad's in love with me, his dad loves me.

And, like, what if you're 20 years down the line, you ended up having kids with this person, you're married, and then he finds out that his dad loves his wife?

Like, that's a secret you also can't

keep from him.

This is, yeah,

it's just not, yeah, you, oh, yeah, you didn't even, yeah, I'm now understanding what you mean.

His dad and whoever the dad's married to, his mom or whoever.

No mention of mother-in-law.

No mention.

I am like

stumped, stooped, stooped.

Stupefied.

I'm stupefied.

I really don't know what you would do.

Honestly, I'd be curious if our therapists out there can chime in.

Like, mentally, is this something?

Like, it's going to be sad, but like, I think she could get over the feelings for the dad.

But then in the same breath, like,

would your partner ever compare or would your partner ever really feel like, oh no, I'm head over heels in love because you did have this weird, like, I love my father-in-law.

Yeah.

And if, is this just like, I feel like when I like watch like TV shows and read books about affairs, it's like an itch you can't scratch and you want to do it because you can't, right?

Yeah, or some, some are, no, no, and it's like, is this just something she can't do?

They both can't do, so they're like kind of metabolizing about it.

The taboo of it all.

Wow.

I know.

I think you got to break up.

I think you have to break up and i think you need to like kind of go on like a little trip or something i think it's like an eat prey love situation that's what i would do you need to go find yourself i'd be like i'll go like

top on grapes yeah oh france i like that and live in a barn

and make some wine and just get out of my head oh my god have you seen that one movie under the tuscan sun yes That's what I was thinking of.

That's crazy.

You said that.

I love that movie.

That movie's good.

It's honestly really underrated.

She's gorgeous.

Unreal.

Oh my God.

Such a good movie.

Top comment on this one.

Okay, Reddit.

I'm done today.

The hillbillies got me.

I'm going to bleach my eyes.

This is not normal.

Someone responds.

He definitely has Reddit.

And OP responds, okay, say he found my post.

Why on earth would he say all of that to me?

Why not be like, hey, found your post?

What the fuck?

And someone goes, you have to break up with your partner because you are having an emotional feeling for someone outside of your relationship.

If you can't do that, you need to change jobs immediately.

Yeah, I think she, no matter what, has to just be honest with her partner.

And it's going to, it's going to be awful.

And that's the thing, I guess like your partner should know too, because like, even if you do break up, what if he makes moves on his next girlfriend?

What if this is like a thing?

That's so true.

It also, yeah, like you have to think about your partner and what they, what they're owed in the situation.

And that's transparency on all ends.

Like I said that about like my friend having crushes and like a committed relationship, but it's like you have to be emotionally honest with your partner no matter what.

Yeah.

A lot of people are getting to that in the comments.

Tell your partner what his father did was wildly inappropriate.

He was testing the waters.

He just didn't want to confess.

He wanted to see if you felt the same way.

Oh no.

If you told him you had, he totally would have been down for an affair.

Next comment down.

Wait.

That's so true.

I couldn't say that to anybody.

I know.

Well, the other person that like OP replied to, like, okay, say he found my post.

Why on earth would he say all that to me?

And the original person responds, to lure you into an affair.

It's taboo and you're decades younger.

Also, you'd be surprised at how many men enjoy pulling a Nicholas Cassadine.

Not sure how old you are, but being this naive will destroy your life.

Whoa.

Shots were fired.

Yeah.

And last comment: I'll read: if you actually cared about your partner at all, you would have already taken steps to remove yourself from the situation by at least finding a new job.

Instead, you're flirting with the idea of completely destroying their family and sending partner into a likely psych hold when this shit hits the fan.

Get real help.

The kind Reddit isn't qualified to deliver.

Okay, Captain Captain Beefy79.

No, not Captain Beefy79.

That's the name of that username.

Said it all right there.

Captain Beefy.

Captain Beefy delivered.

You can't talk like that to OP and be Captain Beefy.

Captain Beefy, man.

I feel like I don't think OP did anything wrong.

Like, they didn't know what their dad was going to say.

They didn't ask to talk to the dad.

But still, you got to go.

You got to go.

You got to close out.

You got to get the bill.

Go.

I know.

I think you need to and i was not gonna transition to this story but captain beefy i was just like looking at their account now i'm like what is captain beefy up to on reddit captain beefy has like 40 000 karma points on reddit like captain beefy is in it

oh my god i know so i'm gonna read this one that captain beefy commented on as well because this is like this is also a crazy one that like i'm haven't read the post because i'm just finding it but it's a crazy title you're a you're a Reddit veteran.

Like, you're like, you're like, I follow, I, I follow the story.

I follow Captain Beefy.

I honestly,

some of the stories that we'll get to today, I had to do serious detective work to find.

I found an internet article based off the Reddit story and they didn't link the post and the post had since been deleted, removed, but they linked, hyperlinked one of the commenters in order to give them the proper credit.

And you went in.

I went to the commenter's account.

I went to their comment history, found the post, and was like able to get to it that way.

It was like, this is some sleuth thing.

You like have 10,000 hours in Reddit.

I deserve a doctoral degree in Reddit at this point.

And yet it still confuses me.

I mean, yeah, because it's just people, right?

It's just like people with masks.

Whoa.

What do you do?

Okay.

I'm dying to know about Captain Beefy.

79, not 69.

79.

He's a gentleman.

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Okay, this next one for us coming from R/AMI Overreacting, four hours old, titled, Am I Overreacting for Not Forgiving My Fiancé After He Admitted He Almost Slept With My Best Friend at His Bachelor Party?

Okay,

I, 27 female, am supposed to marry my fiancé, 29 male, in three months.

Last night, during what was supposed to be a sweet pre-wedding talk, he confessed that during his bachelor party two weeks ago, he almost hooked up with my best friend.

Oh,

He said they were drunk, started kissing,

and only stopped because his best man walked in.

He swears nothing happened and says I'm overreacting because he,

quote, didn't technically cheat.

She's overreacting?

Captain Beef, you better do a number on this.

I feel shattered.

My best friend betrayed me and my fiancé only stopped because he got caught.

He says it was just stupid party stuff, and that calling off the wedding would be an overreaction.

Am I wrong for feeling like this is a deal breaker?

Are you wrong?

Not there's nothing wrong with you.

There's something wrong with everyone else.

Like both people that you are supposed to be closest with, trust the most, and love you the most.

And this goes like kind of back to that first story where not only did the deed deed happen, but now you're being told that you're overreacting.

The gaslighting.

No.

Also, what was your best friend doing at the bachelor party?

That's such a good point.

Why was she there?

Why was she there?

Oh my God.

Almost hooked up.

Meanwhile, they were kissing and only stopped because somebody walked in.

Bullshit.

Captain Beefy says, How exactly is this not cheating?

Thanks, Beef.

Top comment on this one.

Woof.

Okay, let's go.

One, he did cheat.

In what fucking world is that not cheating?

Are you just allowed to run around making out with dudes now?

Two, how?

Why is he even in this situation?

Three, your friend fucking blows, almost literally.

Four, clearly isn't remorseful.

He should have been distraught, confessing.

Instead, he's telling you like it's nothing.

No.

Yeah, I'm curious if there's any comments from OP.

No comments.

I mean, it is only four hours old.

So

now are you.

Are you the type of person that will check on this in a couple?

Oh, yeah.

I'm following the account now.

Oh, my God.

So if you follow the account, I don't, I just go on Reddit as like an invisible person.

Yeah.

Do you get a notification if something happens?

Oh, my God.

You have to text me.

I will.

I'll let you know.

I mean, the account is only a month old.

So you never know.

This could turn into one of those porn accounts that pops up after they get some karma.

Like,

oh, that's just,

oh, it makes me distraught when that happens.

All of a sudden, it's like, I'm real.

And I'm like, I don't, that's illegal.

No.

I'm real.

And it's just like a shot to the face.

Like of tits or something?

No.

Just, it's bad.

No one.

I hope you're not listening with your child in the car today.

Oh, no.

No.

I've already been cussing and fussing.

Okay, so I just feel so bad.

This sucks.

This is a bad situation.

Three months before the wedding, too.

Like, deposits have been paid.

So hopefully OP's not doing updates because they're like

calling venues

and

dropping.

dropping all these things because you should not get married to this person specifically no matter what because they cheated but specifically because they're telling you that you're being being dramatic forreacting.

Yeah.

Not a big deal.

Not a big deal.

And if he's willing to do this right before your wedding with your best friend, he's going to cheat again.

Oh, yeah.

He's going to cheat again

so much more.

Call it.

Hopefully you can get back the deposits.

Some of them.

If not, throw a big rager.

Yeah.

Rager of a party.

So fun.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Throw a huge rager.

Throw a party.

Oh my gosh.

I also, I don't know.

Pardon me doesn't really buy they didn't hook up.

It feels a little too convenient.

Yeah.

It's like, we were just kissing.

But also, like, I could see it because, like, the friend was like, oh, no, no, this is bad.

Like, he's being

really bad.

Oh, God.

But cheating on bachelor trips is a thing.

Like, I know someone who her current partner, like, she met him when he was on a bachelor trip and he was like, She gave me a hall pass.

They hooked up and he went home and called off the wedding because he couldn't stop thinking about her.

Okay, I'm split between that's romantic and that's.

I mean, they are, I mean, they're still together.

Yeah.

Three,

maybe four years later.

I mean, the difference is he had an emotional conversation.

He had like the

understanding in his brain to be like, I can't stop thinking about this person instead of like, you're being over, you're being insane.

Let's still get married.

Yeah.

There's a difference.

And he called off the wedding.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Whoa.

I don't think I know anybody like that.

I've only seen movies.

It's like, I just like,

I'm kind of messy.

I just, I know messy.

I know messy, but like, boring, messy.

Not like you.

What's the methyl?

What's the meth?

What's the methylist?

I'm trying to think.

I did have someone.

This is some tea.

Okay.

I'm ready.

I'm doing it.

I'm sad.

I've had someone who was married try to take a pass on me.

And it was, I was like, it's like a fucking ninja.

I was like, back up.

Off.

Little taser.

Down.

Down.

Drop it.

Like I was talking to a bad dog.

Yeah.

No way.

Anyway, that's it.

That's messy.

Yeah.

That's all I got for you.

That's a really good share.

Thank you.

No updates from this one.

I mean, the top comment really did say it.

Like,

not okay.

Not overreacting.

In response to the top comment someone does say all of this also why was her best friend at his party yep

he said it too who invited her and like why is she here

go be with your other friend ex-best friend yeah

okay moving on to our regularly scheduled programming are you sensitive with gross things nope not at all okay

you can decline this next story.

Copy that.

And I won't.

I won't.

I will let the record show.

My guests get choices.

Okay.

So if I read this one and you're like, can't do it today.

Nope.

We will skip it.

Those of you, this is gross.

If you are sensitive to gross things, if you are eating lunch today or trying to have a snack, pause and come back or skip.

Markers are in the description.

What a nice host.

I try.

I try.

And please, you know,

you have to please your listeners there.

So this is coming from R/Off My Chest.

Okay.

It's 19 days old now.

I can't wait.

Titled, I'm Being Haunted by My Girlfriend's Vagina Cheese.

Oh my God.

I'm already pissed off.

I don't even know why.

I've been saving this.

Really?

No one would do it with me.

For someone special?

For you.

You saved a vagina cheese for me.

For you.

Okay, let's hear it because what?

Exactly what the title says.

I came home from a 10-day backpacking trip, horny as fuck, not stinky, took a very thorough shower.

I texted her about it.

I start going down on her.

All seems well.

Maybe her hair is a little bit greasy, but not everyone's perfect.

But when I went downstairs, there was cheese.

The smell was like my own vagina when I'd come home from the backpacking trip, like fermented somehow.

I talked to her about it.

I didn't really want to eat her dead skin.

She understood and then started crying.

She's been really depressed recently with the death of a semi-distant relative, and life has just gotten her really down.

Turns out it's been about three days since she showered last, and she just couldn't seem to take care of herself.

I've noticed.

The house was a little messy.

Laundry I'd done before I left was still sitting by the washer and dryer.

Game controllers still sitting on the couch cushion.

Some stuff in the fridge, but it had gone bad.

She put her clothes back on.

We didn't have sex, nor did I try to escalate anything.

I asked if she wanted a shower, and she said yes.

I told her that she can use my fancy shampoo if she wants.

It's clarifying.

I asked her if she was hungry.

She said yes.

I asked her if she wanted ramen and she said yes.

I made her ramen and she took a shower.

She came upstairs wearing my pajamas and I called her a cute wet dog.

We ate and cleaned up.

The vagina cheese is haunting me, though.

I won't be telling her.

It would just make her feel worse.

This is like the nicest supportive partner I think I've ever met.

Oh my God.

Like, like, okay, so metaphorically haunting.

For some reason, I was like, this is crazy and gross.

It's like, you know, but like, this is a sweet fact.

Opi can't like like stop thinking about it.

Yeah, it's just like haunting.

Like, and like, I, that would be really, really tough for me to like get past that.

too.

The next time you go to hook up, and it's just like, all you can think about is the cheese.

And it's like, it has an actual word.

It's like, what is it called?

It's like smegma.

Yeah.

I wouldn't know the real word.

I'm trying so hard not to judge because that's so relatable when you just like are in a rut and you cannot take care of yourself.

Yeah.

I think I've gone like four or five days without showering.

Yeah.

I can't remember.

But also, like,

mental health is a real struggle, but at the same time,

you know, you're hooking up with someone.

Like, just be like, hey, I'm going to, I'm going to shower quick.

Oh, yeah.

Like, I'm just going to hop in.

I can't relax.

I'm, oh, no.

I'm self-conscious.

Me too.

Like, I, and it's not for them.

It's for me.

It's for me.

I want to feel.

I want to feel fresh.

Yeah.

This is like a layer to it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, my gosh.

This partner is so sweet, though, because they don't want to tell this person.

I know.

Oh.

This is how I feel when I know I fart in my sleep.

Oh my god, I fart in my sleep.

Justin continues to lie to me about it.

He's like, I've never heard you fart.

And I'm like, yes, you have.

Oh my God, that's really sweet.

How do you know you fart in your sleep?

Oh, I scare myself awake sometimes.

Shut up.

Yeah.

Because I'm so nervous about farting that, like, I literally am like.

And I'm like, is he awake?

Okay.

I just know I fart in my sleep because I don't fart at all during the day.

Oh, like at all.

Maybe you just don't fart.

No, no.

I think everyone farts.

Justin like doesn't fart.

Ever?

I have not heard him fart.

And that could be indicative of something being wrong with him.

You're going to walk down the aisle without hearing a fart.

I'm kidding.

I know.

I know.

See, this is my fear.

Everyone's like, why don't you fart in front of him?

And how many of you out there have sent me the cake?

About the girl getting a cake from her partner who is like, you farted in front of me for the first time.

The amount of people that have sent me that cake, but like, I'm not openly farting in front of him.

I have to let it rip now and again, but like, I walk away or

you know, whatever, turn the music on, or I go in the room and I say, You can't come in there.

Like, yeah, you know, I'm letting gas out, but I'm not openly ripping ass.

And, like, I would, I honestly, I'm getting to the point now where I would love to.

I would love to just show how much flatulence I can pass.

And it's loud, it's aggressive.

It is, honestly, I could join a fart competition and for a little 5'2 person, I could probably win.

You,

dude, I,

everyone's like, stop.

Just stop.

We're talking about vagina cheese.

They've skipped this part.

If that person is saying stop, they are not listening to this part.

So it's like, I wish, but like he.

He doesn't fart at all.

I've never heard one.

So that's why you can't do it because you haven't heard him do it.

Exactly.

Have you asked him if he could?

Yeah, and he says he can't.

I'll hear like a little gas like toot when he's on the toilet, but like that happens to a lot of us.

So that doesn't count.

It's got to be like a standing, dry fart, not a shart.

Standing and dry fart.

Maybe I don't fart.

No, I just know I have to while I sleep.

I just,

I know I have to.

You should get that app that records noise when you sleep.

You could actually do that.

Yeah.

Let's make sure.

Yeah.

You could be a medical Marvel.

So could Justin, it sounds like.

Either that or he's like, I don't know.

He's getting a colonoscopy very soon.

Okay.

Let's check out everything.

But this really breaks my heart because everyone has the best intentions here.

There are no liars.

There are no cheaters.

Everyone's being really nice.

And this is just like being human is kind of sometimes being icky.

Being human is sometimes being icky.

That's beautiful.

That, like, that girl or the partner of OP did nothing wrong, but not take care of themselves.

And that's so normal in our freaking day and age.

I know.

That's a really good point.

Top comment: make sure there's no way for her to stumble across this.

And I will tell you, OP

did delete the post.

So, how did you have it?

I'm a magician.

God, you're good.

Wow.

But I'm glad they did because that would be awful.

I actually literally, so I knew it was going to get deleted.

Here's my screenshot I took of it on

7:25 at 3:20 p.m.

I knew it was going to be gone.

So, you screenshotted it.

I screenshot all the good ones.

God, you're good.

I wish it was 3 a.m., but it was 3 p.m.

3 p.m.

And did you see that comment?

You're like, well, you just know something when it's going to get deleted.

Yeah, I kind of had a feeling, whether it's like the moderators or OP, but OP did delete it, which

I hope she doesn't find it.

It's fine.

It's fine.

It's fine.

No,

I want to live in the world where she didn't find it.

But maybe she did.

And

I don't know.

It is, it does suck when someone tells you something that's like really embarrassing, like you stink or something.

Yeah.

But someone's got to tell you.

Dude.

I'd always rather someone tell me something that's embarrassing than them hide it from me.

Oh my God.

Like I literally, I was at another studio the other day and I had sweet green in my tooth.

Oh my God.

Like the freaking kale from the Harvest Bowl.

Yeah.

And no one told me.

And I literally did the recording, went in the bathroom bathroom after and saw it.

And I go,

no one told me.

No, that's not.

That's like it was there.

Like, there's no way you can't see it.

And it's messed up.

I would rather like embarrass me a little bit versus me go hours with something in my teeth or me stinking.

Like, let me go find like a loomy deodorant wipe.

So I refresh up.

Look at it.

I got a stack of the deodorant wipes over there because look at that.

Sometimes I get so nervous.

Like right now, I could use one.

There you go.

Tell me.

Tell me.

No, it's like, tell me.

but also as someone who has trouble telling people, okay, like I will see something in a friend's tooth and I'll be like, I'll wait a little too long, but then I will say something.

And that's gross.

You get there.

Yeah.

I think back in the day I wouldn't.

And now I'm like, do it to others.

Cause you don't want that karma.

Yeah, no.

Yes.

Like walking out of a bathroom with toilet paper on your shoe.

Terrible.

Oh my God.

Or like, I'm trying to think of like something someone told me.

I can't remember the last time someone said something to me me and they were like,

you have to fix this.

Lipstick.

Oh, my car.

My car is disgusting.

Oh.

Like, it's disgusting.

Are you disgusting?

Everything's fine.

Yeah.

But it's kind of like, I think when you

stop taking care of something, you kind of get used to it.

Yeah.

One of my best friends told me the craziest thing ever where he dropped a bunch of chips on the ground in his studio apartment.

And I think it was chips or granola.

And he was like, so busy that day.

No, no.

He was so busy that day that he was like, I'll clean it later.

Cause he's like, the difference between it being here now and me walking around with it being there is just my time.

Oh, my God.

And I was like, I do think like in behind closed doors, we can let a lot of things go.

Yeah.

And I think the state of my car, I wasn't driving people for a while.

And then my best friend got in there and was like, this is disgusting.

Was this chance?

Yes.

I just knew it would be coming.

That's crazy.

I knew.

Chance and my other bestie, both of them were like, you have to do something about this.

I have a lot of food wrappers in my car, and then when someone has to get in, I'm just like throwing everything to the backseat, tucking it under the sun visor.

I'm like, don't, don't smell, don't smell.

To me, it's like less food.

It's like just shit.

I don't know why.

I'm like not eating a lot in there, but there's so much stuff.

You got to have extra shoes, extra clothes.

Like, you never know what you could encounter.

You never know when you could poop your pants.

Literally, you never know.

God, I feel bad for OP's partner and OP.

I know.

Luckily, like, this seems like not the worst situation, right?

Like, you're a good person.

Sounds like you have a good partner who's just going through it.

You're supporting them in an amazing way.

And hopefully, you can get over the ick.

Yeah.

Hopefully she, you know, is on the mend.

But like, you were gone for 10 days and like she said she didn't shower for three.

Like, at least she didn't not shower for 10 days.

Like, it could have been worse.

Look at the bright side.

It could have been worse.

Like, sometimes, like, you need a little, like, she's been on her own in a tough time.

Like, yeah, that's when I had spiral, too.

So, I think it's a good point, too.

That when the partner was like, when OP was like, you should, like, are you going to shower?

That this person did.

Yeah.

Because they could have just been like, no, then it would have been really hard.

Really hard.

Yeah, I agree.

I think this is good.

And it's like, hey, it's going's getting tough, but you didn't get going.

So,

guys,

that was cool.

Like, you gotta, you gotta be in it.

That was sick as hell.

For the good times and the vagina cheese.

Yeah.

You know?

And like, you still made her ramen.

Come on.

How sweet.

That sounds so good right now.

That sounds so good.

It'll be your, are you ready for your eighth meal of the day?

Like a little silver lamp?

Yeah.

Silver lake ramen.

I love silver lake ramen.

Sounds so good.

It's lately been my um drunk food of choice.

Um,

I or and I do this a lot.

I tell people this on the internet too.

I order food before I get home.

So smart.

I'm at the bar.

You meet it at the door.

And I did it recently where I ordered so much ramen to my apartment.

Dear thinker.

Completely forgot.

Had another round,

hung out with the birthday girl, said goodbye, went home.

And I went, well, look at this.

That's like the best present to get home to.

Luckily, no one took it.

Yeah.

No, I'm so grateful it didn't get taken.

Yeah.

That would have sucked.

I wouldn't have noticed, honestly.

Okay, well, we're moving along from this one.

OP has since deleted their account even.

I don't think we're going to get any updates.

And

not OP, but the person, if this is about you, just recognize you have a really good partner and you'll get through it.

And like, this is human.

So human.

So human.

So human.

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Okay, welcome back, all my friends that skipped.

Okay, let's get back to the

to this.

Good listening.

I know.

This is coming from the Too Hot Takes subreddit as well.

Okay.

This next one.

It is titled, My Mother-in-Law Landscaped Our Entire Garden While Dog Sitting for a Week.

What Do I Do?

Say thank you.

Wait, I should hear this out.

You'll be fair.

I feel you.

My husband, 35 male, and I, 29 female, went on holiday for a week and just got back tonight.

My in-laws stayed at our house and looked after our dog for us while we were away.

We got back tonight to find that mother-in-law has completely changed our garden without our consent while we've been gone.

We have a smallish paved garden with some raised flower beds, a couple of trees, and some nice flowers and bushes.

Most were left by previous owners, and we cared for them the best we can.

Weeded, laid wood chips, and kept the garden tidy.

While we've been away, an entire tree on the right-hand side has been removed and is now just a stump.

An entire tree with new shrubs and flowers planted in its place.

My roses, which I enjoyed caring for, have been cut to a stump with nothing left.

The trellis completely bare.

The two other trees have been cut back dramatically.

All their flowers and buds are gone.

The huge flowers on one bush have been cut off.

And the garden feels very exposed and barren.

The tree that was cut to a stump flowered beautifully in summer and attracted lots of butterflies.

And I'm big on biodiversity, so that was sad.

And the roses, I'm devastated about, as my uncle was helping me care for them.

Various other jobs have been done, like cutting a small patch of grass we have in the back and jet washing the paving slabs, which I'm grateful for.

It's important to note nothing like this was discussed before we left.

We only asked mother-in-law and father-in-law to care for our dog.

Nothing more.

Mother-in-law mentioned patching some missing sealant on the window of our shed for us.

That was all.

I really struggle with anxiety and needing to be in control, and I've been sobbing this evening.

I'm devastated.

Mother-in-law is asleep, and father-in-law is staying out of it.

I'm sleeping downstairs with our dog because I can't stand to be away from her either.

It's 3 a.m., but I can't sleep.

What do I do?

Am I right to be upset?

I'm certain their intentions were good, but I feel this is an enormous overstep and I'm really upset.

Oh,

that sucks.

Wait, this sounds like so much more than adding.

It sounds like a lot more subtracting to her yard.

Does that make sense?

Like to the OP's yard?

Because it's like, it feels like trees were lost.

Roses were lost.

I just heard like a garden.

was added, but no, so much was gone.

It's like barren.

Do you know how expensive trees are too?

If it's like a big tree that's taken, like trees also don't grow very fast.

Like this could be a 20-year-old tree and just

gone in the blink of an eye.

And I also feel like I look at trees like I look at buildings where like it's a part of the building.

We're like, I love a tree.

You know what I mean?

Like that's like, that's not like a rug.

That's a tree.

Like that's not an accessory.

That's like a huge part.

It's a little

bit.

And here, I'm going to get all woo-woo on us.

Like, no, do it.

Like, it's, I don't know.

it's been there forever.

It's like biodiversity.

It's helping the butterflies.

Also, like, this is a thing on legal advice, Reddit all the time.

Like, people being like, my neighbor cut down 15 of my trees.

What do I do?

Tree remediation is a big issue in law.

Yeah, because you have to pay as much as it costs to replace with that exact tree.

So, if this is like a 20-year-old tree.

I don't know.

If anyone's ever been to a nursery, old big trees are expensive.

You're so rude.

I went to go get like a bush a couple months ago.

Went to go buy a bush,

a birds of paradise.

I don't know.

Like, that's a bush.

What is that?

I don't know.

A plant?

I'm thinking it's a tree bush.

Yeah, whatever.

They have a big olive tree there.

$68,000.

$68K

for a tree.

It's like literally a 70-year-old tree, though.

Oh, I really feel bad.

This is OP's mother-in-law.

Oh, my God.

My mom has a bad habit of like

doing things in the name of help that aren't help right where it's like when you take because it's something like like how i assume to be like say thank you is like you assume if someone gave you something it must be with the good intentions but there's like a lot of control here there's like a lot of loss of like this is opi's space do you think that's where it's coming from like a place of control or opie's mom is just bored I don't know.

My mom will do stuff and be like, you would love this.

She's going to love this.

I need to do this.

And no matter how much I'm like, I don't want that.

And it's, it doesn't get to her.

Like, I have a really old, like dinky little studio apartment and there's a gate.

There's like a white gate and it's like dirty, but it like, I don't know.

It's like in front of this tree and it's like dirty, but it looks like it's like, I don't know.

It just like adds.

It just has so much character.

It just looks like, yeah.

Uh-huh.

And my mom's like, we need to make that like white.

We need to repaint that.

And I was like, I actually think it'll look even worse if it's like bright white.

Like I

and no matter what, she thought she was helping me by like demanding I do that.

And I was like, no matter what, I disagree with you.

And she just wanted her way.

Did it get painted?

No.

Good.

Look at you.

Good.

Setting that boundary.

Yeah.

But I, oh, God, this is like without the approval at all.

This is when she was gone.

It's so bad.

And it's like to be blindsided like this, to have no idea.

It's almost, and like, I know a lot of you parents out there are going to be like, it's so different.

But like when you don't have kids yet and like your yard, your home is like your safe place.

You're, it's you, you know, you're putting your love into it.

It's almost like the videos are like the things where people will babysit their grandkid for a week while mom and dad go on vacation and they come back and the kid has their ears pierced.

Oh, you better not.

It's like, and I know people are going to be like, she cut down a tree.

It's so different.

But it's like, it's just the same.

It's the lack of respect, the lack of consideration.

It could have been a simple conversation of like, hey, we think your yard would look better, adding some bushes and things like that.

What are your thoughts?

Yeah.

Give people a choice.

Yeah, this is their property.

You just, it's just a control thing.

Oh, my God.

I saw this other video that was terrible too.

Oh, my God.

My TikTok algorithm has been torturing me lately.

So this girl was like, First vacation my grandparents have gone on in 30 years.

We're redoing their bathroom and they had this beautiful bathroom, like really nice vintage tile.

They had grab bars to help them by the toilet and the shower.

So clearly, needing, you know, those assistive devices to be steady.

Did they take those away?

Ripped out the whole bathroom, replaced it with the most boring ass millennial gray.

It's disgusting.

It's the most disgusting bathroom.

It's like, if I left and came home and my

space was

space,

I'd be bawling.

Once someone took care of my dog and they did Reiki on him.

What?

Which is hilarious.

But I was like, you didn't ask permission.

Did your dog change after the healing hands?

No, he just smelled like lavender.

But I do love Reiki, believe in it.

But it was one of those things where I was like, that's my child.

You should ask.

You got to ask before you douse him in lavender and put good vibes on him.

Even those things are good.

That's the thing is.

That's the mom wanted to do good.

But honestly, what if your dog reacted bad to the Reiki and it like caused some like paranormal demon to come out?

What if?

Like, what if that tree choice was like a fundamental source of shade that she needed?

A C bell's going to go up.

I know.

And it sounds like OP was like doing something in the garden with her uncle, with their uncle.

Yeah, you never know what when someone's property means something.

Like, you just shouldn't mess with that stuff.

No.

Top comment.

This is insane.

Yeah.

OP, I'm not sure what the right thing to do in this situation would be, but I'd be having a serious sit-down with both my husband and mother-in-law.

Why did she think it was okay to cut your things down to stumps?

Why did she do it only when you were gone on vacation?

Why did she replant things when things were already grown and seemingly matured in the garden?

O.P.

responds, thank you for the validation.

And yes, need to have a sit-down talk for sure.

Yeah.

Just a big ol' boundaries talk.

Time for big old boundaries.

OP does respond to a few other comments here.

Someone goes, who has the audacity to do this?

Did your husband know what was happening?

OP goes, he had no idea.

He was as blindsided as I was.

I can't quite believe it.

They're very caring people.

So I know this wasn't done maliciously, but it's crazy to me.

Yeah, it was kind of like, not malicious, but ignorant, where it was like, you didn't really think of someone's.

I don't agree.

I'm like, how was that not malicious?

You cut down my tree.

Oh my God.

I think OP's mother didn't think they were doing anything malicious.

I agree with you.

It's malicious, but I don't think this person went out about doing that.

What if she's like, this is where I'm just going off the rails?

Oh my God.

What if she's like a covert narcissist and tries to look really good on the outside, but this was her chance to strike and just like.

Okay.

And that's so fair.

I'm just like, I'm, I'm trying to rationalize this in my head and I'm just so mystified.

I know.

I also feel like this always happens with parents and kids just because of the taste gap where there's just such different tastes.

Ooh.

I know.

That's a new one.

The taste gap.

The taste gap.

I kind of made that up.

But like, my mom will think she's doing something nice for me.

And I think it's so ugly.

And it's just difference in tastes.

I know.

My mom does that all the time.

And I'm like, you shouldn't have bought that without talking to me.

And then she cries.

And she's like, I was doing something nice.

And I'm like, yeah, but you spent like your hard-earned money on it.

And it's like, we could have picked it out together and had that experience.

I wish nice to you was also nice to me.

That's the thing.

Like, I, and I need to work on this where I'm like, I'm more

accepting and gracious when receiving gifts that are surprises.

You want to be better at it?

Yeah.

Oh my God, I'm too good at it.

Because then I'm never going to have a thoughtful conversation that's actually going to lead to my mom ever buying me a gift.

I like.

I am always going to take it.

Maybe we could give each other like little boot camps.

I'm always going to gladly take the bag full of TJ Maxx stuff.

Wait, why is mine that way too?

Always.

Like, literally.

And it's just like stuff that I'm like, uh-uh.

Thanks.

I love TJ.

And I'm never going to go, this.

I just go like, thanks.

And then it just keeps happening.

So I'm so battled off.

I literally ask her, I'm like, do you still have the receipt?

And she's just, she's like, you're never appreciative.

And I'm like, I'm sorry.

Meanwhile, I have a bag of bras under my bed that I know right now all still have the tags on them.

My mom gave me like two years ago.

What a waste.

Both are bad.

Both babies are bad.

I know.

Where's the middle ground here?

It's like, where do we go?

It's like, oh my God, thank you.

And it's two days later going, do you have the receipt for those?

I think they're in the weird, wrong size.

You just got to go back to the store and take them back right away, even if it's a gift card.

Who cares?

Just be like, yeah.

So there is this other comment.

Someone goes, oh, yes, yes, I know the pain.

Mine watched my 11th month old while I was giving birth to his little sister.

She gave him milk and peanut butter for the first time without asking.

But she did clean my house.

This was after a time she switched my kitchen around on me when she was staying with us.

It's all because they know best, but in reality, it's an insane overstep of boundaries and almost like they are marking their territory.

We don't talk anymore.

And it's sad it came to that.

Because the kid had milk and peanut butter.

Well, what if he would have had like an anti-lactic?

I'm, um, something about me, I catastrophize everything.

Okay.

And I always, yeah, this is good.

We're, we're, we're a good pair.

Yeah.

Um, I'm the glass half empty.

You're the glass half full.

No, no, no.

Sometimes I'm, I'm, sometimes I'm like, the glass is in here.

I'm sorry, go on.

Um, I think it's this power dynamic that we grew up with, which is, oh, I'm a kid.

I don't know anything.

You know everything.

And then at some point it shifts and I know more than my mom.

And that's just the way it is.

But in her mind, it'll never be that way.

Isn't that a weird transition when all of a sudden you wake up one day and you feel like you're parenting your parents?

Yes.

And is that because, like, what is that?

Is that just us?

I just think it's like growing up and it sucks because other dynamics are like always the same.

Yeah.

Like me and my friends are, one of us is this way, one of us is this way.

We don't like change a lot.

Versus with your, when you grow up, like they knew us when we had no abilities whatsoever.

So then when my mom's like, teaching me how to drive, I'm like, I know how to drive because you haven't been here when I'm always driving, but you were there when I was never driving.

So you think I don't drive?

I'm going off.

My mom will tell my dad, like, we'll be like pulling up to the house.

And she's like, on your left.

And we're like, thanks.

He's lived there for how many years?

Bro?

Oh, my gosh.

I

literally, I was in the car with Justin's mom and she listens.

Hi, Chris.

And

she was going to drive us to the airport, and his stepdad ended up driving us, her husband.

And the whole time, she's like, Slow down, speed up.

My mom said.

And I'm like, just drive.

I'm going to say, brake lights.

There's brake lights up there.

Oh, my God.

Thanks you so much for telling me.

Thank God you said something.

As someone that has car anxiety, I literally want to open my door and throw myself out of the car.

I'm like, please stop.

No.

Oh, man.

It's okay, Chris.

I'll give you a Xanax the next time I have to go in the car with you.

So, OP responds to that peanut butter territory comment.

I'm so sorry that happened.

Yes, that's how it feels sometimes.

I can never do it to someone else.

So it's hard to rationalize.

And when it goes hand in hand with doing something actually thoughtful and nice, like changing our bed and doing our washing, which she also did, I feel like it's harder to stand your ground on the thing that upset you.

Wow.

Well said.

Thing is, though, I would rather do my own laundry if it meant you didn't cut down my tree.

Yep.

So it's like, I'm like, just come over.

Like my mom does this with my brother and sister-in-law.

My mom will like just like do all their laundry and do all this stuff.

And like, I think they appreciate it.

Yeah.

But I also, I don't think my mom is like cutting down their trees.

But like, I know that I'm sure there's some things she does where she like moves their can opener and like it just drives them nuts.

Like, or it's like the difference between like acts of service and gifts, right?

Like, I feel like this mother thinks these are gifts, these like new bushes she added.

Like, this isn't, you're not doing my dishes, you're changing my yard.

That's not like a chore.

You know what?

We get an update.

Okay.

We get an update.

Oh my God.

Thank you to everyone who left comments on my original post.

It was really helpful to see acknowledging that this was an overstep and suggesting that my husband lead the conversation, which is crucial.

Good move, good move on Reddit, good move on commenters, good move on OP.

Let's go.

Yeah, to answer some questions, I think the tree was a budleia,

which I think is usually a bush, but it was quite mature and had a trunk about eight inches wide and was around two to three meters tall and very much looked like a tree.

Okay, so that's so a boudle, I know.

Also, like three meters, two to three meters, Three meters is like 16 feet.

Whoa.

Also, it's like the prettiest thing I've ever seen.

It looks like a ginormous lilac tree.

Oh my God.

It's beautiful.

It's like you googled pretty tree and you showed that to me.

No.

That even hurts more.

Sorry if I gave the impression it was like a huge tree that required a tree surgeon.

But it wasn't a tiny bushy either.

It was still a task to chop it down.

And they didn't hire anyone.

They did it themselves.

Thank you for all the suggestions about tree law.

I've learned something new.

Thank you to all that said the roses might be salvageable.

They are literally a stump only three inches tall, but I'll try the blood and bone mixture to promote growth and try to bring them back.

Mother-in-law has done things like this before, but not to this extreme.

Okay.

She gets bored and one thing leads to another, and you can tell part of her knows she's gone too far, but she tries to justify it anyways.

It's well known in the family that mother-in-law can't sit still and finds jobs to do to be helpful.

But to my knowledge, she hasn't done anything this big before.

Now for the update.

In the morning, my husband spoke to mother-in-law alone and laid out how this was really inappropriate for her to make changes to our garden without permission or even notification.

He said she offered some explanations as to why she did it, but did acknowledge it wasn't right to go ahead and cut down trees without asking.

He posed the question many of you suggested of how she would feel if we looked after her home and repainted a room or chopped down a tree in her garden or removed a fence.

I think that made her realize.

He asked her to speak to me directly and apologize, as I said to him, I needed an apology for her to acknowledge that what she did was wrong.

Later, mother-in-law spoke to me privately and said she was sorry, I was so upset by the garden.

And I said, Thank you.

Oh, I hate those apologies.

I'm sorry, you're so upset.

Her explanation for the tree is that she was doing some pruning.

And when she trimmed the branches, they were black inside.

They went to a garden center and got advice and were told it was this kind of bug infestation.

Mother-in-law is adamant.

She was being bitten by whatever bug it is as well.

I don't know.

The tree was green and healthy looking to me.

Anyway, at no point did they speak to us despite going through all this trouble.

And then they decided to just chop it down since it was infested.

They went to a garden specialist before texting?

Literally.

She had to take me so long to find a garden specialist.

To drive?

And be like, can you diagnose this tree for me?

That's so much work than being like, hey, when you get home, you have to deal with this.

Just stop.

Wow.

That sounds terrible dealing with a bug-infested tree that keeps biting you.

Oh, I'd go inside.

And I'd be like, you guys have to handle that.

Bye.

And then going to a garden center talking to a stranger?

Hard.

Oh, yeah.

Anyway, at no point did they speak to us despite going through all this trouble and then they decided to just chop it down since it was infested.

She did at least say the words, I should have known we should have called you or asked.

Then I said, and the roses?

I loved those.

And my uncle was helping me keeping them going.

And she said, the dog had been chewing on them.

Bear in mind, these are in a raised bed.

She'd have to jump up to get to.

And apparently, she yelped and hurt herself on the thorns.

So obviously, the logical conclusion isn't to keep an eye on the puppy, a four-month-old lab, but to chop down the flowering roses.

He was chomping the

okay.

I don't know if I buy it.

I don't believe that one bit.

That was the end of that discussion, but later in the day, she and father-in-law went to a garden center to try to replace both the Budleia and the roses, but couldn't find the right kind.

They have said that if we find the plants we want, they will buy them for us so we can replace them.

Things are civil again.

I'm still hurt, and I hate how my garden looks, especially since other trees and flowering bushes were cut so far back, all the color is gone.

It feels very exposed and like a new build/slash/showroom garden before any character is added.

But I can't make the plants regrow.

And replanting the tree would mean removing the stump they left.

So, I, CBA.

What's CBA?

So I can't

be a bothered.

I'm curious.

I can't.

CBA?

So I couldn't be annoyed.

Can't be arsed.

Can't be arsed.

British.

I mean, what's really metaphorical here is all things grow.

And all things come new.

You know what I mean?

Growth is here.

O.P.

goes on to say, personally, I will never allow mother-in-law and father-in-law to be alone in my house again.

Yes.

And they will not be asked to look after our dog unless it's at their own home.

I do have a generally good relationship with both of them, and they are generous and kind people.

But this lack of respecting boundaries has been an ongoing issue, especially since we got our house, which they did a huge amount of work on with us, and for which I'm extremely grateful.

I do, however, feel this contributes to how they view the house and garden as a project and not as as our home, despite the fact we have lived in it now for two years.

And it might be why they thought it was no big deal to go around messing with our garden.

My husband has been on my side throughout this and took us all, me, him, and the dog, out for a Sunday roast today to cheer us up.

He's upset with his parents as well and has done his best to make me feel better and validate my feelings.

He's the best.

Okay.

I'm glad they have boundaries that are like, you can't be over here.

Oh, we don't want a new roof or something.

Yeah, good on them.

Healthy communication.

That sucks, though.

It really does.

Really does.

But at least, like,

I'm torn because, like, I know I hold like unhealthy grudges.

But I do appreciate the fact that they're like, oh, yeah, we, we, we get it.

We messed up.

The apology would have made me upset.

You said you hold grudges.

I hold grudges when people do shit like that.

I know.

If she just messed my garden up, I think I would, and she took full responsibility.

I think I would have been able to move on.

But her being like, I'm sorry you were upset.

That would have made me very mad.

But at least it sounds like they're doing the right thing and offering to buy whatever's been misplaced.

I'd go buy the biggest one.

I'd make sure it was so ginormous.

Like, we'll demo you.

We'll demo a request for all the trees we're buying.

That's all she wrote on that update, though.

I don't see anything else from OP.

So if we want further updates, we will have to keep keep our eyes peeled, but

happy-ish ending.

I mean, they're at least gonna make amends.

Yeah, that's good.

Okay, moving along.

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I'm going to give you a choice on this next one.

Yay.

We have two kind of wedding ones, okay?

Hell yeah.

Option one,

wife says I need to get over it, but I can't stop obsessing over a prank that ruined my wedding experience and left me furious.

Okay, that sounds like everyday at smosh, so maybe the next one.

No kidding.

Or, am I the asshole for kicking my best friend out of my wedding because she confessed feelings for me the night before?

That one.

Just like that.

Yep.

I, 29 male, got married last weekend.

It was supposed to be the happiest day of my life.

I've been with my now wife, 27 female, for five years, and we've had our ups and downs, but we're solid.

She's my person.

My best friend, Liv, 28 female, has been in my life since we were both 14.

We were inseparable for years.

People always assumed we dated, but we never did.

There was one drunken kiss in college, but we laughed it off and never went there again.

Or so I thought.

Liv was my best woman.

She planned half the bachelor weekend, helped coordinate the music, even picked out the whiskey for the bar.

She and my wife had a civil relationship, not besties, but respectful.

The night before the wedding, Liv asked if she could talk privately.

I thought it was something about the ceremony or nerves.

Instead, she told me, out of nowhere, that she's been in love with me since we were teenagers.

Oh, not the night before!

And, quote, can't watch me marry someone else without at least telling me.

Oh, not

the night before.

I was stunned.

I didn't say much.

She cried, apologized, said she didn't want to ruin anything, and left.

I spent that whole night tossing and turning, feeling guilty and confused.

The next morning, I made a decision.

I asked Liv not to come to the wedding.

I told her that I loved her as a friend, but that what she had said crossed a line and disrespected my fiancé.

I didn't want weird energy on our wedding day, and my focus had to be on the woman I was marrying.

Done and done.

Liv left quietly.

She hasn't spoken to me since, but a bunch of mutual friends, including some of the groomsmen, think I was way too harsh and that she was just being honest and getting closure.

They said I humiliated her by cutting her out of something she helped build.

My wife supports what I did.

She didn't ask me to do it, but she said it made her feel protected.

She never trusted Liv fully and admitted she's always felt attention she couldn't name.

So now I'm here, married, and wondering, am I the asshole for kicking out my best friend of 15 years the morning of my wedding after she confessed feelings for me?

I'm trying to think in the Julia Roberts, my best friend's wedding movie,

he calls off the wedding he doesn't say you have to i don't actually remember spoiler alert for an old movie i don't remember how i know they don't get to get actually maybe they i don't remember

like they do no they don't they do they don't i don't no matter what i don't think op's the asshole if that's what their partner needed

I don't really know where the partner, where the fiancé falls into this, but like,

I think you're an asshole if you do this in an asshole way.

But I think there is a respectful way that OP could have done this with him not being an asshole.

I don't know.

Like I think you're allowed to not want that person at your wedding.

Oh my God.

Yeah.

You can be really tough the way you do it or you can be nice.

I mean, how would you like say Liv was still the best man?

Like OP heard this information.

I'm in love with you.

I've been in love with you for 15 years.

I need to tell you before the wedding.

You've had 15 years to tell me.

Yeah, don't even get me started on the timing.

You chose the night before my wedding and then expect to stand on the other side of me as I marry my, my person.

Oh, thank God we got that out of the way.

Like, what, what are you supposed to do with that information?

Like, she was telling him in hopes of a runaway groom situation.

Like, it's the, it is, it is, um, quite literally my best friend's wedding because Julia Roberts tells Michael and Michael still marries Kimmy.

And he's like, you had this whole time.

And I kind of, I get like not being able to say your feelings until literally you absolutely have to.

But what's tough about this is it's the eve of the day that this person makes a promise that is, I will now live life with another person in mind.

Yeah.

And I feel like that's the, that's the point of it all is being like, well, now I have to think about this other person before me or as equal to me.

I mean,

you, I don't think there's any way forward but disinviting live.

Like you have, like, there's no way because it's such a disrespectful thing to the fiance, now wife.

Like, yeah, I don't think it makes you an asshole.

I think the way you do it makes you an asshole.

And you could, because it's humiliating for her no matter what.

How would you, do you, like, have a better scenario in mind?

Like, how would you have handled it if you were him?

Like, you're there.

I think I would have handled it just how he did it.

But I just would have been like, so caring and respectful of her.

And, like, but no matter what, she's not going to react that well.

But I think I'm just, I think I would respect her and not tell people because I think what's adding up in this is that everyone was like, you humiliated her.

So like, I wouldn't go around being like, Liv's gone because she's obsessed with me.

Oh, you are so right.

I think I would just be like, let's tell everyone you have COVID.

I don't know.

I'd be like, I want to make sure this isn't worse than it could be.

I didn't,

I did, that,

that did not cross my mind.

Because OP's asking if they're an asshole, because all of their friends are saying, you shouldn't have done that.

Literally.

And what sounds wrong is being like,

well,

and I get it, this is your best woman, so you have to tell people what went down.

But I think you could just find a way to be like, I think the timing of this makes this really tricky for you to be up there with me.

Yes.

Like, I would even be like, you can come to the ceremony.

You can't stand up there.

And that's like, honestly, really gracious.

I think, I think you're COVID or like she's sick.

She's got food poisoning, like, whatever.

It is something.

It's food food poisoning.

No one asks questions about food poisoning.

No one ever goes, what'd you eat?

Actually, they always do.

What am I saying?

But like,

maybe go Norovirus because it's coming out of both ends.

Boom.

And they're like, ooh, don't call her.

Yeah.

No, she's busy.

She's on her.

And she is.

She's crying.

The most horrendous thing I've ever gone through.

But just don't do it in front of people.

It goes back to the like

vagina cheese.

It goes back to the vagina cheese.

And it's like, it's a humiliating thing, but it's human to fall in love and sometimes with the wrong people.

But like,

I just wouldn't do it in a public way and be like, well, and I don't like the way that OP's friends were like, she did all this work into the wedding.

I'm like, I don't care.

You did all this work.

Under a weird circumstance if you go back and you go, the context of her picking out my whiskey and her working so hard on this is actually a little deceptive.

God, you're so on with this one.

None of these thoughts have like crossed my mind.

Maybe because I've seen that movie so many times, but I also don't remember how it ends.

So

maybe in your ideal world, Julia Roberts got the guy.

Yeah.

They wrote off another song.

I did not even think about that.

I do think you're right.

He must have 100% told all his buddies, like, Liv said she's in love with me, so she can't come.

100%

should have lied about that.

Yeah.

Or just been like, we're not going to talk about it.

I'll talk to you guys later.

Let's focus on me and my partner.

You're so right.

You're so right.

And I think it's hard because it's like, I know like certain situations and certain life moments can have you realize feelings that you've buried or you're like, oh, we're friends.

Like, I don't want to ruin our friendship.

But it, it's surprising to me.

You went that long and you got to the age of,

what was it, 29 and

28 that like you then finally realized after 15 years, like, Liv, there had to have been a moment along the way and it did not need to be the night before the wedding it could have been when they got engaged and then you're like oh my gosh like you're moving oh my god okay he's gonna move on okay wow or like i don't know somewhere in the where they were like i don't know picking out whiskeys you're like why am i working so hard on picking out a whiskey for my best friend's wedding just say it then like any other time any other time

any other time

wow

so what's your vote yeah i don't think you're the asshole but actually here's the thing.

I can't say if this person's the asshole or not because I didn't hear the way he talked about her.

If he talked about her and made a fool of her,

I don't know.

I think there's a classy way to not be the asshole.

But no matter what, I don't think he did anything wrong.

I'm with you.

Copy.

Copy paste.

Yeah, copy paste right there.

Copy paste.

Top comment does mention that she had the last 15 years to confess and chose that night before your wedding to do so.

What the fuck?

Well, you lost a friend and gained a wife.

Good for you.

Not the asshole.

Yeah.

Next comment.

Bruh, dead ass.

15 years to confess and decided to confess the night before his biggest day?

Damn, definitely not the asshole.

Yeah.

You made the best choice.

For real.

Like, why not after that drunken kiss in college?

Selfish and rude.

It was harsh, but she wanted you to drop the wedding, the fiancé, and run off with her in some romantic dream of hers.

She is unstable and needed the blunt reality check.

Definitely not the asshole.

Your wife now trusts you tenfold.

Good job, sir.

Good job, sir.

And I agree.

Like, I think that is a big, bold move.

That, like, it does speak to how much you respect your partner.

And, like, I'm going to be open, honest with you.

And I'm, I'm going to lay the hammer down and draw a boundary.

That, like, hey, you're in love with me?

You tell me the night before our wedding, my wedding?

You can't come.

You can't come.

I think the idea of what I understand marriage to be is like

truly truly a partnership and taking someone's needs very seriously, almost as your own.

So I think like him stopping his need to have his best friend there and think about like the general context of what's going on and thinking about his partner is the good move.

Marriage material.

100%.

Like, why couldn't you just be like a couple OPs before and just get drunk and hook up with the bachelorette?

I'm kidding.

But it's like, you could have picked any other time, girly.

I have

an update?

No, oh

You can't look at me like that and not have an update.

What do you have a thought?

You had a big grin

What do you have a thought?

You went I have uh

I have a story that I wasn't gonna read but like this is how this is our last one then.

Okay, great.

Okay

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There was no update.

OP has since deleted the post.

OP has since deleted their account.

I think was like really coming to just be like, hey, we had a check.

Okay, now they ask.

Okay, good.

Don't need to.

Really, don't need any more of this.

Nothing more.

Yeah.

And I don't think we're going to get an update based on that.

He don't care.

I wish Reddit had like a Snapchat feature.

It was like, this disappears in 24 hours.

I need input and not like an online campaign.

And then it goes away.

That's.

But that would be fucking messy.

Oh.

We'd see some crazy shit.

Because then, like, I think people would get a little riskier with like libel and slander.

They'd be like, I killed four people.

This disappears in four hours.

Dude, I have, I have like the worst story I think I've ever read on Reddit.

And I just don't know if I can read it.

And it is kind of that vibe of like this guy was like, yeah, I forced my wife to have a baby.

And then like bad stuff happened.

And I'm just like, I don't know if I can, I just don't know.

It's just too, it's too dark and heavy and it's just bad.

And you're like, these aren't, this isn't a prison diary.

It's Reddit.

There's like a line here.

Yeah.

Oof.

Yeah.

Okay.

Wait, what's the last one?

Okay.

So.

This is coming from our very own two hot takes subreddit titled, My Husband Forgot He Was Married While on a Guy's Trip, and Now There's a Baby Involved.

He forgot.

Okay, I'm listening.

So yeah, this is the situation.

My 32 female husband, 35 male, went on a week-long bachelor trip with his college buddies last summer.

A week long is too long.

Came home like nothing happened.

Agree.

Fast forward to last month, and I get a message on Instagram from a woman saying she had a baby girl a few weeks ago and that my husband is the father.

He swears it was a drunken one-night stand, that he wasn't thinking, that it was a mistake and didn't mean anything.

But this wasn't just a random DM.

She sent photos of the baby who looks exactly like him.

Wait, does this correlate with the bachelor party?

No.

So this is way before.

Totally different post.

Oh, God.

She also sent screenshots of texts where he admitted he was married, but said they were separated but still living together.

We never separated.

Ever.

Now he's acting like I should just forgive him because he came clean.

News flash, he didn't.

She did.

And that, quote, everyone makes mistakes.

Everybody has those days.

Everybody knows what?

What I'm thinking about.

I feel like my entire life just imploded, and there's an innocent baby in the middle of all of this who didn't ask for any of it.

What even is the best next step here?

Lawyer, therapist, both?

Both.

Add to cart.

Both.

Lawyer, therapist, movers.

You know what I mean?

Move out.

Probably in that order.

Yeah.

Lawyer.

Yeah, I would do therapist.

No, I do lawyer, therapist at the same time.

Yeah.

Whoa.

Is that it?

That's all she wrote.

That's all she wrote.

Literally.

Oh my gosh.

That makes me like, I would like pull a tooth out rather than go through that.

Like pictures of the face of the baby's face that look like him is, that's pretty haunting.

This is actually my biggest fear.

This right here.

Then I'm picturing the baby look like boss bait looking like boss baby, where it's like a, like, um, don't look up boss baby.

It's gonna be a waste of your time.

But like, like, it's, it, like, it's, like, it's his face on a baby.

So not boss baby at all, but like her fiancé's actual face and then like in a nursery.

Do you just want to throw up?

You know, when

they do it on movies sometimes where it's like, I don't remember what movie it is, but like they put the adult face on a baby.

Like, what?

What?

It's like, that's what I'm envisioning.

Like, it's literally him, but.

And she's like, hate to send you these DMs.

And it's like, that.

That is like quite literally the worst hey girly DM you could ever get.

It's not hey girly.

Like he's texting me.

Hey girly, he cheated on you.

And it's not even, hey girly, I'm selling leggings.

Do you want some?

Like, hey, girly, I have this tea.

It's going to change your life.

No, it's the worst kind.

It's, hey, girly,

accept this DM because there's images to look at.

And those images are your fiancé's son.

Dude, and that's the thing that like I can't get past where he's like, oh, I came clean.

No.

She only is finding out because this girl sent her a message.

What if it wouldn't have came through the Instagram DM?

What if he saw filters?

Like, what if he saw it and deleted it?

Like, it's not like he ever would have said anything.

No.

And I am curious why.

I'm curious why the girl is reaching out because

I don't know.

Like, she must, she probably is a good person.

And it's just like, he didn't tell me he was married and whatever.

But like, I know there are some people out there that if they were getting a check, would never say anything.

And so she would have gone how long until finding this out.

And then they have kids and then their kids turn 18 and do ancestry DNA or something.

And then they find out I have a sibling across the world.

And that happens literally every day.

But like this, I wonder, wait, am I making this up?

Did, is OP about to get married?

Husband, 32 female.

He's 35.

It was on a week-long bachelor trip.

But they're married now.

I don't think it was his bachelor trip.

Okay, but it was a bachelor's trip.

Yeah.

But they've been married.

Yeah.

Oh my God.

Let me see if OP has any comments.

I'm curious if we find out how long they've been married.

Yeah.

I would be like a sleuth and asked and ask for the dates he said they were separated, even though I know we weren't.

And I'd go, like, I would just like dig.

We have no comments from OP.

Mm-mm.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

This post is five days old.

God.

So it's, it's really fresh.

O.P., if you're out there listening, I think all of us would like an update.

We would.

And I'll do anything you need.

I'll take a massive poop on his car.

That's so charitable of you.

Like, sometimes when I hear things like this, I want to do something so petty.

I want to do something so.

I kind of just like want to find him and poke him.

Nope.

That's no.

Allegedly, baloney takes off car paint.

Yes, I heard about this.

Allegedly.

Allegedly.

No, I've heard it.

Allegedly.

And I heard it like messes up the car.

Allegedly, like sugar.

See, that's already too far for me.

I would just put him on every email list.

I think I would print off posters and be like, just bombard him in the community.

Like, this man can't go to the grocery store without getting known as like a cheater.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

You know how you can take out ads on shopping carts, local grocery store, his face plastered everywhere.

I don't care how much it costs.

You can take an ad on a grocery store.

Oh, yeah.

There's realtors at my grocery store, realtors on the grocery corner.

Wait, we should just take a cute pic and put one on there.

Come watch my podcast.

No, there's nothing.

It's just.

Oh, just us.

Like when people used to have a yearbook picture.

Oh, we could inquire.

And just

a little post.

People would probably be like, who are these girls?

They'd be like, what movie is this?

Yeah.

It'd be like some deep marketing campaign.

Okay.

I would do some awful stuff to this guy,

especially because he was never going to come forward.

This guy was never going to say anything.

Nope.

Nope.

Top comment: lawyer now, therapy later.

And you had it in the right order.

You said lawyer.

Lawyer.

Therapy.

Maybe moving.

Movers.

And then vacation.

Yeah.

This is the answer.

OP's husband said he was separated.

She needs to make that happen.

He said it, so he proclaimed.

He proclaimed they're separated, so she just needs to get according to the program.

Manifestation.

He was men lost.

He lost a wonderful wife and he gained a son and another lady.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, yeah.

O.P.'s ex can apparently predict the future.

He should have said they were divorced, as separated suggests she might even take him back.

Love that.

People are.

See, this is the stuff I'm talking about.

They're so quick.

No, that's just like, that's like a good commenter.

Mm-hmm.

Someone also has this very important comment.

It's got a big yellow box.

Also, full STI panel because he's clearly gone condom free at least once.

Oh my God, she's so.

Oh my god, that commenter's so right.

Mm-hmm.

Oh yeah, I don't even know if I'm telling him I know yet.

This is crazy now.

Because who knows?

No.

Who knows who else?

Do you think if someone cheats on you, then you have permission to go in their stuff?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Right?

Like, I need to know the depths of this.

Then I'm going in there.

Yeah.

And I'm looking at everything.

Yeah.

No, because then trust is gone.

Trust is gone.

You're, in my book, this is done.

Well, I'm like, if, if, if that's where we're going to draw the boundary.

Yeah.

Like, you could cheat on me, but I can't read your texts.

Oh, no.

Like, no.

I'm going through everything because I don't trust you to not lie to me.

Yes.

And we're done.

Yeah.

Like, I want to know who else is out there.

Do you think there's more?

What if there's more kids?

I think there's probably more one-night stance.

Yeah.

So someone responds to the top comment about lawyer now at therapy later, and they go, and the sooner the better.

If she files for child support, depending upon where you are, it can affect the division of assets and spousal support.

That's some legal shit.

I just didn't even know about.

That's some legal shit.

That's like some, when you chop down a tree, you have to pay whatever the tree legal thing you brought up.

That's like some stuff you don't think about.

Yeah, tree law is wild.

And so does kid law.

Family court system is, it is, it's a big thing.

It's a big thing.

Yeah, you never know the timing or what it is.

Are you automatically believing this person?

I like to go in with

erring on the side of believing until I see other posts turning into a porn account.

Yes.

Okay.

Well said.

Because here's the thing.

Like,

maybe this specific post could be fake, but I know someone out there has 100% gotten through this.

Yes.

Well, I don't mean the post.

I kind of mean like you get this DM.

And are you like,

is this

like, and that's where I wish OP like was like, oh yeah, we've had a couple issues or just like, there's smoke where there's fire, right?

Like, if this has been all good forever and there is no hint of cheating and no hint of dishonesty,

I'd be like, is this?

That's a really good point because I haven't even jumped to paternity tests yet.

Because like it looks like him and he did admit to cheating.

So there's a chance the baby's not his, but he also still then admitted to cheating.

Yeah.

This feels like his.

Yeah.

But I'm thinking like your knee-jerk reaction when you see something like this.

I believe it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, if I got a hay girl, but it's so hard.

If, so if I got a hay girly DM right now about Justin, I wouldn't believe it.

Yeah.

I wouldn't.

I like, I would not be able to believe it because he's just so,

there's no freaking way.

And I know guys can always find the time, but it's like, no, there's no way.

That's what I'm saying.

It's like, I wish I knew more about OP's relationship because then I'd be like, okay, something's up here or something.

But you know, yeah, you never know.

No, but I would, I would want a paternity test, but in the same breath, like he's still admitting to cheating.

But if he's- He's a cheater, no matter what.

But I wonder if he's just admitting to it without like, I wonder if he was like blacked out.

He's like, I guess it looks like me.

But I don't know.

Yeah, I don't know.

But there's text.

There's text between them.

Oh, I forgot.

I can't even.

What am I saying?

I can't even devil's advocate my way out of this.

I'm literally trying to give him every fucking way out.

That's crazy.

I'm even doing that.

I'm sitting here in the same boat as you.

That's actually kind of crazy.

We're sitting here plugging holes with all our fingers.

It's ships going down.

Pack your bags.

We'll kick him out.

Yeah, I know.

You're right.

I think that's your house.

That's all she wrote, though.

No update yet.

OP, if you're out there, let us know how the divorce proceedings go.

Literally, I'll prank call him at all hours of the night.

Sign him up for like Scientology emails.

Yes.

Yeah.

And just like messed up stuff.

Apparently, if you give them money, they'll really hound you.

Or hound whoever you want them to.

Allegedly.

Allegedly.

Or I just not advice.

50 comedians that'll non-stop invite him to shows.

Ooh.

And that feels like Scientology, too.

There's multiple cults around L.A.

You could throw a coin into land on a cult.

You really could.

That's all I got for you today, though.

That's all you have.

Well, I mean, I.

I'm going home severely fucked

Like, I can't believe all of this.

I had no idea about the incest stuff on Reddit.

You guys,

I know.

And the fact you're like, I want a whole episode.

People would think I have a problem.

No, we cannot.

We cannot.

People were accusing me of a poop fetish for a while because I just enjoy like a poop story.

You know, like, I have some new people.

A woman can't read.

She can't read aloud.

A woman can't have a hobby that turns into a career.

She can't.

she has to have a poop fetish,

but she's just reading aloud and bringing people together in a community.

Thank you, thank you, thanks for having me.

I love this place.

Welcome back anytime.

Love it.

Put you on payroll.

Hell yeah.

Where can people find you?

How can they watch all of your stuff?

Everything you're on.

You're doing like commercials.

You're doing like modeling.

You are just like.

That was just one thing.

I think it looked cooler than anything.

You do voice acting.

Barely.

You're so sweet.

But you can find me me at

Angel Giovanna Geritana.

It's my Instagram handle.

Yeah.

That's exactly your name.

And I have an improv.

Yeah, it's my name.

And I have an improv podcast very different than this.

No, but the fact you almost forgot your name.

Yes.

No, I was trying to figure out: like, is my because my middle, my birth middle name is Giovanni.

And

you ossified it.

No, my, my mom was like, we wanted Giovanna, but we didn't want Angela Giovanna Giertana.

Oh, I like the triple-A.

I don't like the Giovanni.

It's like the boy version of John in Italian.

Anyway,

big plug.

All of Angela's links will be in the description.

Be sure to go check out everything.

Other than that, that's all I got.

Head over to Patreon if you want more.

Got three full bonus episodes a month these days.

Whoa.

Dude, I'm pumping out content.

I know.

Beefy cake of content.

Beefy cake is going to be like too hot takes me to an episode about me.

Oh Oh my god.

But thank you guys.

Until next time.

Bye.