238: Wedding Blues..

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I already texted Lauren and we're going to go together.

Are you ready?

Yeah.

First episode back as a married couple.

Yes.

Crazy.

We both have rings now.

Show everyone your ring.

Look at that beautiful ring.

He's like trying to hide his little nails right now.

But show you guys his ring still.

My hands got really messed up.

I know mine especially.

I've been trying to rip off these acrylic nails.

Well, I tried soaking them and then they just didn't work.

And I tried doing dental floss under the nail, and I ripped my real nail under it off.

And so, both of our fingers are a little jacked up right now.

But your ring is beautiful.

We had it made with one of our listeners who is also a jeweler, Olivine and Ivory.

Beautiful ring, absolutely just perfect.

Yeah.

And I don't have my wedding band yet because I have to get that sized down.

So I'm wearing like

this little pearl band from Orange County Pearls, and it's just like so cute.

Yeah.

I just messed my hands up so much, injured myself.

Working, working hard on the farm.

Well, I just smashed them with hammers.

Oh, God.

I got that really bad cut.

Yeah.

I burned my hand really bad.

We're healing.

We are healing.

We truly had the

most fun,

insane, everything I dreamed of wedding.

It was unreal.

And the fact we did all of it, a DIY.

It was a DIY.

We truly built our own venue on my family's farm.

And you guys will see the wedding video very soon.

I'm sure it'll be dropping on this channel, but it was, it was everything.

I had the beer burrow.

I had the camel.

I had the atrium-style tent I wanted from China.

Ordered it from China.

It came.

It was perfect.

Putting it together caused a little bit of a World War III, but you know, everyone came together for the day.

It was good.

Yeah.

It was, it was a really special, magical day.

And, you know, we questioned earlier: like, elope, not elope, like, is eloping overrated?

And

I think everyone should do what makes the most sense for them and what they want.

But if you do lean towards having a wedding, it can be the most fun, insane, magical day of your life.

Yeah, I

know we debated actually,

but I don't think there's any comparison.

I mean, your situation may be whatever it is, but a wedding is by far the coolest experience you'll ever have in your life.

And it's also the one time you will ever get that many people from your life.

together in one spot at one time celebrating you.

There's not another time in life that'll happen.

Yeah, we really felt the love.

And like all of our friends and everyone had so much fun too.

Like it's not just us that had so much fun.

The next day we like woke up in the hotel and a bunch of people like we're staying at the hotel and they're like, that was so much fun.

This is the best wedding we're going to ever go to.

And then like the whole week after the wedding, people were like, how are you guys hanging in there?

Because I've got the wedding blues.

It wasn't even my wedding.

Like it was that fun.

And everyone's joking.

They're like, okay, so what are you guys doing for your anniversary party?

Like, ha ha, we're gonna run that back, right?

Yeah, it was.

I think everyone, everyone should throw us the anniversary party so that we can take more time to enjoy and be a part of all of it because I think that's the hardest part: the day goes by so fast, and you spent four months straight

hard labor every day working your ass off to set this thing up.

Yeah, I don't think most people do the crazy DIY we did.

The day comes, and yes, it's perfect, and it all came together, but you just wish you could pause time a few in a few moments that night.

Yeah.

Like have more time for cocktail hour.

Yeah.

So where you can actually experience everything you work so hard on.

I mean, yes, you're throwing a big party for everyone, but it's fun to enjoy some of the stuff you spent so much time on too.

So that's a little difficult where

it's, oh my God, wait, the cocktail party is already over.

The cocktail hour is already over, and now we're all walking up.

And then we walked into dinner late because we were trying to enjoy one last thing with the magician.

I want to give our magician a shout out.

His name is Chris Herrick.

You guys,

people are still texting me about his magic tricks.

We found him because of you guys tagging two hot takes in his TikTok videos.

And then he messaged me on Instagram and he flew out all the way from Boston

and just put on such a show for people during cocktail hour.

If you're getting married, I think like your cocktail hour and really making that super special and fun is such a good way to set the tone for your wedding.

And if you need a magician, Chris is amazing.

I'll be sure to link his website in the description and his Instagram so you can see some of the tricks.

But unreal, like everything was just unreal.

We also had one of our two hot takes listeners, Martina doTero.

I pulled a really good tarot card that day too.

The Emperor, it was.

I didn't pull.

I know.

You're too busy.

Come on, though.

We really

got to take advantage of the time, you know, soak in that day.

I've got a couple stories set up to kind of talk a bit more about our wedding, share some of our tips, tricks.

I think overall,

I think we are going to share like our little planning breakdown that we made on Google Sheets.

And we'll like maybe drop that on Patreon if anyone wants like an easy planning sheet because we really did basically plan this ourselves.

I mean, from the invites to printing the name tents at home to doing our own bar signs, welcome sign.

We bought like a $100 printer from Walmart.

It printed our bachelor, bachelorette trip, like itineraries, our name tents,

a portion of our

invites.

We also printed our invites.

Well, we made them on Canva with a template we bought on Etsy.

I mean, like, we just did these crazy money-saving hacks throughout the whole thing.

Bought a cricket in order to make our linen bar signs and welcome sign.

Built a stage.

Built a stage to save $3,500.

Like, it honestly, it's going to be a YouTube video we throw together, but.

I've got some really good wedding stories picked out.

And then after that, we are going to be taking a break from wedding stuff because

i know a lot of you are probably sick of it but hey wedding season's coming to a close you know we're starting to get into the holiday drama so that'll start populating our our reddit feeds and all

i was kind of starting to think like the whole audience you know it was a big build up to the engagement yeah then a big build up to the wedding i know and now it's all over is everyone sad is it all just done nothing to look forward to no because then people start thinking

oh well what comes next when do the little ones pop out?

I know.

Ooh, scary.

We're working on a dog first, probably.

Maybe fostering it

for

three kids.

Yeah, basically.

They are needy.

I have to have the vet come out again.

I think you have to feed them more than you'd have to feed a kid.

No.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

They're not that bad.

Yeah.

No.

But

here we go.

Wedding drama, wedding chaos, wedding horror stories.

And maybe if you're getting married, 2026 bride, 27 bride, groom, whoever you are, maybe there's something in here for you to take away from and make your day extra special.

Okay.

Here we go.

Are you ready?

Yeah.

Let's dive in.

Before we get into all the wedding stories, this episode is presented by Depop.

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Okay, this first one is coming from R/slash Wedding Drama titled Bridesmaid Accidentally Leaked the Seating Chart and Exposed Herself.

Leaked.

Leaked.

Accidentally.

I'm getting married in November, and like most brides, I put way too much thought into the seating chart.

I wanted to keep certain family members apart, long story, but my uncle and cousin haven't spoken in years, and I didn't want exes sitting anywhere near each other.

One of my bridesmaids, let's call her S,

kept pressuring me about who was sitting where.

I brushed it off at first, but she kept asking, saying she wanted to, quote, make sure the vibes were good.

Fast forward to last week, someone from my fiancé's side messages me saying, quote, Hey, I heard we're at the boring table in the back.

I was confused until I realized the exact seating chart with my handwritten note had been posted in a private Facebook group that S runs.

And here's the kicker.

The chart wasn't just posted.

My notes were included.

Notes like, quote, keep cousin Amy far from ex-boyfriend.

And, quote, don't put Aunt Linda near the open bar.

Stuff that was never meant for public eyes.

When I confronted her, she swore it was an accident, that she meant to screenshot it for herself, but somehow uploaded it to her group of 80 plus people.

Right.

Yeah.

Right.

Now I've got people salty about where they're sitting, and I'm redoing the whole layout two months before the wedding.

My fiancé wants me to cut her from the wedding party, but I'm torn.

Well,

I mean, if it had just been the seating chart, that's not really that big of a deal.

I think it's more the no's.

The no.

Because the seating chart is what it is.

You know, everyone's going to have an opinion, just like they will on anything.

But everyone's going to look at the seating chart and be like,

well, why don't you put me here?

Why won't we move over here?

This person should be near this person.

It's like, eh, we thought through it all.

We're good.

Yeah.

So it's like, there's only so much of a battle you can have over a seating chart because I think that falls under the category of it's your day, you make the choices for sure for your party.

And the difference here, though, is the notes, which honestly, the one like keep them away from the ex

you know, that would show them that you're really out there fighting for them.

You're trying to set everyone up for success, not just yourself.

Yeah, but it's like the open bar one or whatever else might be there.

The boring table.

But if someone smokes the boring table, like that, it's probably not even numbered.

It's probably boring table or like misfit table.

Like, those are notes that are meant to be

OP's eyes only.

We kept kept those notes in

mind only.

We, yeah, I mean, you guys, we were doing our seating chart until the night before the wedding.

Like my assistant, Dina, actually printed our seating chart names that morning of the wedding, which I'm glad that we waited so long because we actually had an entire table worth of people cancel like a day or two before the wedding.

Like Justin's grandpa got COVID.

He had to miss it.

A couple of my friends got sick.

sick like so that was nice because then we could like delete one of the tables and like rearrange a little bit and then they just set it up a little shifted but but it's still we had to do what we had to do yeah and a seating chart is something that like you really do take into consideration of like who's gonna get along who's gonna make friends like we've got a bunch of friends from college that all live in the cities and are married and so we put all of them at a table so they would have fun and talk and then we put a high school like college friend party here yeah my bio dad was on the opposite side of the room as my mom.

Your parents were opposite to make all of that easier.

Like

it's not so much that, oh, we need to prevent people from fighting.

It's just where are people going to enjoy sitting

there?

And who might they mesh well with?

And there's not who are they going to fight.

Because I don't think that was necessarily a concern of ours.

It's more just who's going to get along and get along by meaning like who can make a new friend?

Oh, we put this married couple with them.

and you know what?

They hit it off.

Yeah.

I mean, just all this goes to like say, it does take a lot of consideration and time and effort to make a seating chart, especially when you have 100, 150, 200 people.

So to have that posted,

it does feel very stab in the back to me.

It doesn't feel like this was just an accident.

Yeah, because they were upset with it in some fashion and wanted backup to be like, yeah, seating chart, pitchforks.

It does seem that way.

And so I would probably

demote her.

I don't know if I would like, I don't know.

If your fiancé is being like, I don't want her to come to the wedding, like I want her cut from the wedding party, I think that should be taken into consideration.

It is your friend, but I have a hard time believing this was innocent.

So

I'd be very skeptical.

I'd really not share any more information with her going forward.

I'd kind of keep her at arm's length.

And hey, maybe she's in the bridal party, but you know, maybe less of a role.

And then after the wedding, you kind of slow fade.

But then again, do you want someone in all of your pictures that you plan on slow fading?

Like, is this truly a one-off, weird,

bitchy thing she did, a malicious move she did?

Or are there other patterns in your friendship where this has been a history?

Like, she has sabotaged you when you're on your high, or, you know, if you're doing well or you're having success, she's miserable and jealous.

Like, what's the overall tone of the friendship?

Because if she's doing this shit before your wedding, and if she's a bad friend, like, she could make the wedding day about herself too,

or sabotage in some way, create some drama.

Or if this is a one-off, then you probably consider the fact that you've had a great friendship and there's a reason they are in the position they are.

Yeah, this is a little weird leading up to the wedding, but it's also scary to make big changes like that

right up before your wedding, where you're cutting someone from a bridal party or you're removing them or uninviting to the wedding.

Yeah.

Because those may affect you more in your day than just, you know what, they did something weird.

It was a mistake.

Maybe whatever.

It was intentional.

But let's just go have a good day.

We'll deal with this after.

There's a weird

gray area with that.

But it is also your day.

Like have it be the most fun special for you.

So if you're worried about someone, cut them out.

If you want to add someone, add someone.

I added a bridesmaid two months before the wedding, three months before the wedding, because she's so special in my life.

I know she's going to be a friend going forward.

And I was like, I want her included.

And I want her to like be a part of my little girl gang that day.

So like I added someone last minute.

Like it wasn't wasn't stressful.

It just made the day even more fun.

So, yeah, it's, you got to do what's going to be best for you.

But, top comment on this one.

That was clearly malicious.

Why would you want to keep her at your wedding or as a friend?

Next comment, this.

I would remove her from the wedding party and uninvite her.

I would have also let her know that our friendship is over.

Someone goes, and bridesmaids generally sit at the top table.

They people, you know, bridal party does usually have a head table.

Yeah, I mean, a lot of people are like going down the rabbit hole of like, she's already trying to ruin their big, expensive wedding for a little bit of entertainment.

That bitch is toxic.

She will do worse the day of,

which, I mean, I'm catastrophizing.

I kind of went there.

OP should be glad she saw her true colors two months before.

Agree, the bridesmaid wants to create drama at someone else's expense.

Cut her and your losses.

So

I'm not seeing any comments from OP on the post.

Someone goes, don't redo it, but definitely uninvite her.

That was intentionally malicious.

Or redo it with this bridesmaid missing and upload it to that same Facebook group.

Updated seating plan.

Yeah, because she would have clearly saw all those notes on there, too.

So it was an active choice to say.

Let me stir the pot, throw some drama.

But

yeah, I mean, that's not a real friend.

Because a real friend would, that, that,

like, that's the opposite of having your back.

100%.

Yeah.

A post has since been removed.

No updates, no comments I see from OP.

So hire security and then still have her think she's coming to the wedding

full force, but not as a bridesmaid because then, you know, you get ready in the morning and all that.

Have her show up as a regular guest if she even does still.

And then have security and have a list.

Okay.

Name.

Yeah.

And then when she says her name, say, flip through.

Yeah.

Not on the list.

Yeah.

We had security.

But I got already.

But I got already and I'm here.

No, I'm supposed to.

Nope.

Not on the list.

Oh, that's so mean.

I wouldn't be able to do that.

That's too mean.

What she did is mean.

Okay,

I'm going zero to 100 now.

You're fighting fire with fire.

I'm a little more Zen.

Okay, this was a good Zen.

This got me in the game.

Okay.

Yeah.

I'm a little more Zen.

I will say, disappointed.

None of you tried to crash our wedding.

That was true.

We really thought it would happen.

We were hoping some of you would come party with us.

We kept the details secure.

We did.

And I would say we did have security, and that was probably the cheapest part of wedding planning.

I never even saw them.

Only in the pictures and stuff.

The security people?

Yeah.

They were by the front.

Right when you get there.

Okay, moving on to this next one.

Okay, this is coming from Am I the Asshole, 20 days old, titled, Am I the Asshole for Telling the Bride That Her Armpits Smell on Her Wedding Day Since I Was the Maid of Honor?

I, 27 female, have a best friend, 27 female, who got married recently.

It was an outdoor wedding in the middle of the day on the West Coast.

During the reception portion, she was sweaty and her armpits smelled.

I discreetly tell her, since that's what we usually do for each other.

Before she married her husband, 28 male, she had got mad at him one time because he didn't warn her that she smelled when they went to a fancy event.

She excused herself.

I had smelled my own pits, so I excused myself as well to freshen up.

When I returned, she was back and she smelled great again.

I thought I did good.

When she got back from her honeymoon, she told me I made her self-conscious for the rest of the wedding.

She said I made her feel bad.

And she said, she's mad at me for ruining her big day.

Am I the asshole?

No.

100% no.

That's ridiculous.

Are you kidding me?

You completed the mission.

That is literally perfectly.

That's what you're supposed to do.

Yeah.

I would want to know.

Anyone.

I would want to know.

Who wouldn't?

And thank you because now I know I'm set for the rest of the night and didn't have to worry about that.

Yeah.

Perfect.

Fresh, reapplied.

Smells great.

Yeah.

Because the first thing you do is like when someone tells you, let's say it's at the end of the night, like, man,

you stink.

Yeah.

At the end of the night, all of a sudden you're going to think, wow, everyone the entire night has thought that.

Maybe that's where this is coming from.

She's thinking that, oh, she caught it halfway through the reception.

What happened all before that?

Did I stink the whole rest of the day?

Did I stink leading up to it?

Does everyone think I stink now?

now?

In her head now, it's just like,

don't

take down the people that really truly have your back.

Don't blame them.

Well, and this was your maid of honor.

So it's like, this is your that's what you sign up.

That's what you asked them to do.

And dearest bestie, that's a part of the job.

Like, I've seen a lot of TikToks and things on social media where people are like, each bridesmaid is getting a job.

That one is on deodorant duty.

That one is on straighten up bitch duty.

So if I'm slumped over, she says, straighten up, bitch, and and then I'm ready for my picks.

Like, dang, every bridesmaid has a job.

I needed that.

Dude, I'm scared.

We haven't gotten our pictures back yet at the time of this recording.

And I'm like, oh, God.

I don't even get there.

The slumped.

No, I really, I try to think about it all day.

I was like very conscious about that, but who knows?

But I'm going to get to pictures and dresses in a little bit here.

But I think like as a bride, you can articulate to people and be like, hey, you know, if I smell, please tell me.

Or if you don't want to know, like, and you're the type of person where something is going to get in your head like this and then ruin your day, air quotes, because that's fucking ridiculous.

You can tell your bridesmaids, like, hey, guys, I just want to be present in the day.

Like, don't feel the need to like, you know, ask me if I'm okay.

If I puke, don't hold my hair.

Don't let me play in it.

Let me stay.

If I fall on the floor and can't get up, just let me scramble until I get up.

Yeah, no,

like you can communicate that.

But even as a maid of of honor or bridesmaid, you can also ask your friend, the bride, and be like, what do you need?

Are you someone who you want me to ask you?

Are you okay?

Or is that going to stress you out more?

Sure.

But at this point, it was too late in the day.

You can't.

It is.

And so, like, I don't think the asshole, not the asshole at all.

No.

Because how else would you go about this?

Oh, go to her husband and be like, hey, tell so-and-so she stinks.

You're her best friend.

You did it seemingly based on what I've got here discreetly.

You didn't embarrass her.

You didn't go up to her with a group of people and be like, hey, you stink.

Let's go to the bathroom, smelly bitch.

Like, you did it in a nice way.

You didn't go tell the DJ.

Tell the bride she stinks.

Like, this is the ideal situation.

Like, I forgot to put perfume on our wedding day.

I never wore perfume.

Regret it.

I wish someone would have been like, Did you put your perfume on?

Put a lot of deodorant on.

Didn't forget that for the like first time ever.

That's a win.

I know.

No one told me I stunk, but if I did, I would want to know.

I think that's part of the duties of a best man,

you know, even any part of the wedding party.

That's kind of part of the duties of that group is to make sure you have the best day possible.

And I would think part of that is exactly what she did.

Yeah.

I think it was perfectly executed.

I think perfectly executed, not the asshole.

No.

Top comment, not the asshole.

If my maid of honor didn't tell me I smelled during my literal wedding, I think I'd be pissed, lol.

Next comment, not the asshole.

Exactly.

Better a quick heads up than walking around all day not knowing.

Side note, if you're having a wedding outside on a hot day in autumn and you stink, well, that's just life.

Everyone is sweating.

Fucking cope.

Next comment, yes, but as the bride, literally everyone wants to hug you, congratulate you, take a picture with you.

Everyone is in your personal space.

You don't want to be stinky.

Yeah.

Next comment that has quite a few upvotes, 1.8K right now.

This is a textbook case of no good deed goes unpunished.

Curious if we have any updates or anything.

No updates from OP here.

I don't think we're going to get one considering it's 20 days old now.

I don't see any comments from OP.

Never know.

Oop, I did find one as I scrolled.

Oop.

Oop.

So this person goes, not the asshole.

I'd be mad if my best friend didn't tell me she could smell me.

OP goes, that was my thinking.

As I alluded to, I've seen her get mad at her husband back when he was her fiancé that he didn't warn her that she smelled before they went to a birthday party.

I feel like I'm getting mixed messages from her about what she expects her closest people to do for her.

Yeah.

Same.

And next one down.

So ask her, quote, for the future, do you want me to let you know if I can smell your BO, or do you want me to remain silent and let everyone else you encounter through the day smell you as well?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Also, if that

ruined her wedding, like that, that's kind of on you.

Like, you got to be a duck when stuff like goes wrong.

You got to be the duck and you just got to let it roll off your back.

Yeah.

Like,

you just, you got to do it.

Which, hey, be the duck here.

I wasn't going to read this one quite yet, but

let's get into this real quick so I can have my soapbox of a moment.

Duck story.

And then move along.

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So this is coming from R/Wedding Planning.

It's two years old now, titled, I hate my wedding dress.

I, 33 female, just bought what I thought was my dream dress.

It was definitely not what I was originally looking for.

But when I put it on, I felt like it was the one.

About an hour into my drive home, I started looking at the pictures of me taking in the dress.

And now I absolutely hate it.

It was relatively expensive, and I feel terrible telling my mother who bought the dress and my sister that I'm having some serious second thoughts.

I know they just want me to be happy, but how do I curb the guilt of telling them I want to look for other options, especially after I made such an emotional show for the dress I now hate?

What are your initial thoughts?

Stress?

Why?

Anxiety.

Our day is done.

No stress, no anxiety.

I think on the outside,

especially as the groom, you go through this whole process of dress selection and trips to here and there to find dresses.

And

most grooms don't do that, by the way.

Most grooms don't get to go to any bride's dress.

No, I'm not even saying that.

I'm saying like you

on your own even

and all the lengths that i saw you go to for each thing and not to mention costs and everything else that goes into it yeah so it just is stressful in the sense that like everything i did i feel like leading up to the wedding as much work and time and everything that we did i feel like i was trying to make it i wanted it to be exactly the vision you had always had.

And so then,

like, as we're fighting through all that and working to make it that,

the dress thing just felt like some extra stress I couldn't even take on.

Yeah.

Because it's just like, well, the dress has to be perfect.

We're doing all of this.

And it feels like.

you know, for the dress to then take away from that, right?

If it's not perfect and there's four or five or six wedding dresses floating around, and they've all been purchased, and

there's multiple try-ons.

I saw five of six, or four of five, or whatever it is.

I didn't have that many dresses.

The only one I didn't see was the one that was originally going to work, and then it didn't work, and then somehow at the 11th hour, it came back around to being the best choice, and then day of, it's like, no, I don't like it.

so i'm just a little yeah stressed about it still so i think the moral of the story is you should love the dress you get or you should get the dress you love what did i say love the dress you get

yeah

either way either way i guess your way your way probably sounds better you should love the dress you get what did i wait what How'd you say it?

You should get the dress you love.

You should get the dress you love.

Make sure of it.

Make sure of it like i i don't hear a lot from this person like oh this was my first appointment or you know whatever i've been to four appointments i've been to five appointments it's been purchased yeah it's been purchased one you're driving home right now call them up and say hey i've changed my mind can i cancel i just don't love it There's no way in the 30 minutes since you've left that that can't happen.

And if you have to go block the charge on your credit card, block the charge on your credit card.

I don't fucking care.

Like, nothing has been set in stone.

Like, they should be willing to work with you, and you should be able to get a different dress.

You can't block the charge.

That's not going to work, but continue.

I don't know if put a freeze on that card, get new numbers, report it stolen.

Don't do any of that.

That's really bad.

But let me just share my experience.

Okay.

So, my advice to anyone getting married that wants to wear a dress: do not say yes yes to the dress until you go to at least four different places to try on dresses.

Four.

Has to be four.

How many dresses at each?

I literally try on as many as you can at each appointment.

I went to my very first appointment.

I went to Kleinfeld's.

I felt very, very, very pressured there.

It is very sales, sales, sales.

Let me sell you.

I told them my budget.

I said my budget was $5,000.

Every single dress I got put in was in at least the $8,000 to $12,000 range.

Like they just kept putting me in dresses that like were out of my range.

And I only tried on four dresses.

So when I found one that was like slightly made me feel good and not frumpy and gross, I was like, oh, yeah, this is good.

Okay, I'll get this one.

I left that appointment and immediately was like, I don't know if I like it.

I had this same experience.

I was like, I don't know if I like it.

My mom got food poisoning.

She couldn't make it to the appointment.

I was like, I refused to say yes to the dress because I couldn't do it without my mom there.

I just like, I had so many doubts and didn't feel good.

Then I went to LA

and I went to a salon out here, Jackson James, who has a lot of like really great like dresses, great selections.

I found a dress that I, I, you know, I really liked the material.

I really liked the dress, but I just wanted some changes to it.

So we customized some options.

I thought that dress was going to be like great.

Like this was.

Perfect solution for everything.

We were going to make a bolero.

We're going to do this.

We're going to do that.

I got the dress back and the designer like totally forgot their design.

Like this dress was botched.

The bridal salon admitted it.

My consultant admitted it.

Everyone admitted it.

Like the designer did not follow their own designs at all.

So then you have to like fight with this person, this designer, to like remake the dress, get the dress right.

And Jackson James was like really good about going to bat and like getting the dress fixed for me.

They, the designer had to pay someone here like to fix it.

That That ended up being the dress I wore for a majority of the night because I did feel more comfortable in it.

But I really didn't love

either dress I wore, especially not the one I wore for the ceremony because it came with sleeves and Kleinfelds didn't do the sleeves right.

So I couldn't get them to stay up on my arm.

The sleeves kept falling down.

It just wasn't comfortable.

Was it beautiful?

Yeah.

I'm sure you guys will see the pictures and you'll be like, Morgan, you're crazy.

It's a beautiful dress.

But it just wasn't what I wanted.

And I, I realize now in hindsight, like, everyone's like, oh, you're probably going to go with something you never thought you'd go with.

Or, like, try on dresses that are outside of your style, which I do recommend doing, but also make sure you're trying on stuff that is you.

Like, I should have gone with an off-the-shoulder dress, and I didn't, I like, didn't trust my gut.

And I just,

it does not take away from our day.

Like, you do not have any stress over it, but I just wish the ceremony dress would have been good.

And why did I not wear the second one the whole day?

Well, because I didn't want my money to go to waste.

So I wore them both.

And,

you know, hey, maybe that's a mistake.

I still had the most amazing magical day, but all of this to just say, make sure you go and try on dresses everywhere, as many as you can.

Some of my favorite appointments where I had the best experience was actually at Anthropology.

Their wedding dresses are amazing.

They're super budget-friendly and they have like similar styles to a lot of the big designers out there that you see on Instagram and stuff.

So I really appreciated that.

Did you find it was more helpful to not commit to anything during an appointment and really look at the videos and pictures after to see how you felt about it?

Yeah.

100%.

Because at Anthropology, there was one dress where I was like, oh my God, I really like it.

And my mom was like, are you going to say yes?

Is this the one?

And I was like, I just, I don't know.

I went back, I looked at all the pictures of the video and I was like, that is not my dress.

So you need a good picture and video taker along with you that actually takes the right answer.

Absolutely.

That shows what it's actually going to look like.

Yeah.

Don't feel bad about like being the weird person getting pictures and videos.

Like that is the time to do it.

Like don't feel self-conscious about it or getting in anyone's way or being cheesy even at kleinfelds where everyone's you know everyone's hearts are out oh my god at kleinfelds

i this is i did not see this i literally no i think i showed you i think i showed you that dress because it wasn't the one yes but you were saying how there's people sitting there and literally can see everyone you guys if i put if i put a picture of this dress on the youtube right now it would get taken down for nudity like it was sheer there was no lining to this dress, and they do that because you can add lining, but it doesn't come with lining.

It's this whole thing.

I'm walking out, and my areolas are out, and there's people's grandpas and dads and everyone in the fucking room.

They should have a lining for this dress.

Like, it was insane.

I'm just like, oh my God.

Trying on dresses is an experience.

Tell you that.

Maybe if you do a bunch of these fittings all around, you'll just get used to it.

I know.

It just won't even bother you.

I know.

Well, and like, we, one thing I do love about our wedding is like, we did not take that many pictures.

We like were so present in our day.

So I think with one of the dresses that I got from Ukraine, got it from like an Instagram company off from Ukraine.

And it was like the cheapest, most beautiful dress, but I didn't wear it.

I want to do like a styled shoot.

So I would say like be more present in your day versus trying to get the perfect photos.

Well, a lot of the photos to be candid, which is awesome.

That's kind of what we said.

We knocked out the family photos basically as an assembly line.

You in, out.

You come in this side out.

Parents in, out.

It was just like, boom, boom, boom.

We knocked out.

Our photographer and videographer were amazing.

Amazing.

That's a great way to do it.

And don't let other people interfere and say, oh, what about one with blah blah blah?

What about?

Nope.

We have our list.

We're We're set.

Go.

Yeah.

It worked.

It did work.

Okay.

Enough about the dress.

We're getting tangential.

We're getting tangential.

Sorry.

Top comment on this dress one has since been deleted.

Lame.

But OP did respond to it.

So it was a good response, but OP was like, I hadn't thought of that.

The dress in my size hasn't come in yet.

So there's always a chance that when it's actually altered to fit my body, then I'll love it again.

I was unable to return it due to the store's policy.

Should have canceled the card.

No, you're going to ruin your credit.

Looking at the pictures, it's just not what I'm envisioning while I'm walking down the aisle.

However, it gave me such an emotional response when I tried it on.

I had to have felt some way about it.

I'm not sure.

I'm just so torn right now.

Yeah, but you can be caught in the moment, right?

You can be excited to be a bride and, oh my God, it's all coming together.

I'm choosing my dress.

I've been looking forward to this day since I was a kid.

That might all be floating through your head.

And you

can just be like, I love it, I love it.

Because you're just kind of trying to

go through the process of it all.

Exactly that.

Yeah.

And it's like, don't put that pressure on yourself.

You got time.

Don't do it.

I've talked to so many brides.

And like, I think something I've experienced that a lot of people have agreed with me on is like, I'm just not someone that looks good in a wedding dress.

I think a lot of people I talked to were like, I was like, I don't know what it is about the dresses.

Like, I kept trying them on and like, they didn't really look that great on me.

I I don't know.

There was one dress I tried on,

and it is the dress I probably should have gone with, but I didn't do it.

And I don't know.

It's a Kim Kasaw, beautiful dress.

But

that's the one that I'm like, damn, that one did look good.

I think you're a damn good-looking bride.

Okay, thank you.

A really cute bride.

Cute?

Oh,

all the above.

All the above.

Make me cry.

We can read our vows.

They They were some kick-ass vows.

Someone does say, this happened to me too, and I really wish I would have taken my time and shopped around more.

The dress was non-refundable, and I can't afford to buy a new one now.

I'm getting married next month and decided that I just have to make the best of it.

Which is also true

because it's also not the end of the day.

The dress doesn't make or break the day.

It's

your day and really what is the day about?

It's not about the dress.

It's not about the suit.

It's about who's there and it's about what you're there for.

Yeah.

I will read this one last comment before moving on because I really do like it.

Yeah.

This person goes, this happened to me.

Check my two posts.

I actually hated it.

The photos I had taken were not flattering.

It was not in my size, too small.

I called the store and went back to try it on again.

Fell in love with it all over again.

Delete the pictures.

Wow.

Which I could go anyway.

Solid advice.

And I will say, like,

another tip when you go try on dresses, like, don't go with your hair being greasy and having a bad hair day.

Wear a little bit of makeup.

Or if, like, you don't wear makeup, then don't do that.

But like, if you are someone that wears makeup, go with a little bit of a face on because that can also throw you off.

But if you go straight out of bed, your hair is a mess, and you have no makeup on, and you love the dress.

And you'll really love it all dolled up.

Then damn, you're going to be set.

Exactly.

Okay, moving along.

This next one is coming from Am I the Asshole?

It is eight months old now.

I've been saving it for quite some time.

Titled, Am I the Asshole for Cutting Off the Mic During the Father of the Bride's Speech at My Friend's Wedding?

Probably not.

Probably not.

So I, 31 female, was recently a bridesmaid at my best friend's, let's call her Sarah, wedding.

It was supposed to be an amazing day, but things went completely off the rails during the reception.

And now I'm at the center of the drama.

Sarah and her husband are not religious.

They made it very clear that they wanted a secular wedding.

No prayers, no religious speeches, just a fun, drama-free day.

Everyone seemed to respect that, except her father.

During the reception, it was time for speeches.

Her dad gets up, takes the mic, and at first, it's all sweet, talking about how proud he is of Sarah, how beautiful she looks, etc.

But then, out of nowhere, he shifts gears and starts talking about how a marriage isn't real unless it's blessed by God.

I see Sarah's face freeze.

Her new husband, who was raised in a completely different religion, looks super uncomfortable, but her dad keeps going.

It turns into a full-on sermon.

He starts talking about how he, quote, prays they find their way to Christ and even says, quote, a marriage without God is doomed to fail.

Nice.

The whole room goes tense.

Sarah is staring at me, looking mortified.

I know she doesn't want a scene, but I also know she does not want this moment at her wedding.

So I made a split-second decision.

I went over to the DJ and signaled him to cut the mic.

Nice.

The speakers go silent.

Her dad looks furious.

He tries to keep talking, but obviously no one can hear him.

Finally, someone from the catering staff gently takes the mic away and he storms off.

Now, Sarah secretly thanked me later, but the fallout has been insane.

Her dad is livid, saying I humiliated him.

Her mom is saying I ruined the wedding and that I had no right to interfere.

Even some guests think I was out of line, but I don't know.

Wasn't it more out of line for him to hijack his daughter's wedding like that?

Am I the asshole for cutting off the mic, or should I have just let it happen?

No, you did exactly what had to be done.

Honestly, round of applause.

No,

maybe could have been done a little earlier, but wow, to step up and actually do that in the middle of speeches.

Because in the middle of a speech,

I mean, you hear someone set their fork down.

Like, I know.

You notice if anything's different.

So to stand up, because you recognize the look and you knew exactly that what was happening, that they didn't want this.

And it wasn't.

It wasn't just a like,

hey, he's clearly religious.

And during his speech, he's like, you know, may God bless your marriage.

I love you both.

Congratulations.

Yeah.

This was almost shaming them.

Yeah.

Shaming them and implying that their marriage is doomed to fail if they don't find their way to Christ.

Like, that is not the time or the place.

Well, because this story isn't about religion.

This story is about.

a couple setting their very clear wishes for their

and those wishes not being respected.

Exactly.

And I think that's the theme

with any problem at a wedding.

It's, here's what we want, and then someone goes against that.

Yeah.

But when that person then gets cut off or

somehow is

not, I can't see him feeling ashamed, but when that person then

has to face the fact that someone shut the mic off or whatever.

Yeah.

Then they

turn it around and say,

like, then it's them against you.

Because he's got a scapegoat now.

He's got a scapegoat that he can point at where it's like, I didn't ruin the wedding with my speech.

I didn't make everyone uncomfortable.

It was embarrassing because I got cut off.

Your friend had no right to do that.

No, your friend's a real friend.

That is.

A true friend.

A real ride or die.

I mean, it was clear the vibes were not good.

The bride was tense, looking mortified.

And so, like, I think you handled it the best way you could.

Like, your friend came up to you and thanked you.

Yeah.

So, not the asshole.

Bottom line, bride was happy.

Groom was probably really happy.

So,

does it matter if the dad is humiliated?

No, he caused his own scene.

Not his day.

The mom saying you ruined the wedding, you had no right to interfere.

I mean, your bride is.

Of course, she's going to say that.

You're involved in the wedding.

You're the wedding party.

So, I mean, you acted accordingly.

If the bride wanted her dad to go on, the bride could have then said, hey, DJ, can you turn the mic back on?

Dad, continue your speech.

If the bride would have wanted that to continue,

she would have made it happen.

It was clearly a blessing.

No one else interfered to get him talking again.

So there's your answer.

It was well received.

Yeah.

So there you go.

And UOP, I wouldn't care what these people think about you.

No.

You probably don't see your friend's parents that much.

And if you did, well, you won't anymore.

And that sounds like a win.

Well, and you're there for your friend.

Yeah.

So you were loyal to the person that

you were there for, which is good.

And now, honestly, as the bride and groom,

I would sit down with the dad and say,

cut this shit out.

yeah they did exactly what i wanted they saw the look on my face you could even say that you kind of whispered to them and say hey shut him down i know i mean really you got to make it clear that your friend had your back and your dad did completely like the complete opposite yeah and make this an issue with him directly because

I don't know how many events after a wedding that this could repeat itself or whatever, but you need to set it straight that no,

you completely went against what we wanted.

You are the one that caused, if we want to say that this ruined the wedding day, you are the one that did that.

Yeah, I mean, it's hard.

And we had people pull audibles and give speeches that we were not expecting at our wedding.

But yes, it's hard.

This is so blatant.

This is a bit different.

I guess, like, I just don't know.

I think it's kind of one of those things where, like, I'm all for like communication and confronting it and stuff like that.

But as you said, like, there's probably not going to be a lot of other circumstances where he's going to give speeches like this.

This would probably be one where if he keeps bringing it up, obviously you have to address, but I'd let sleeping dogs lie.

Like, for our wedding, my mom and my dad.

gave a speech.

Like my dad, Jerry, who you guys all know, he bought a bottle of wine shortly after I was born, and it's been sitting in a cellar waiting to be opened on my wedding day.

So we opened it on our wedding day and tried this wine.

And my dad, like, gave this speech to talk about that.

And it was beautiful.

Then my mom was up there, you know, standing with me.

She did well, though, because it was just about that.

And that's what we had talked about.

We loved that.

Then my mom got the mic because she was up there, and

she had like also called up my bio dad with her, which

I didn't want.

And so that was an audible.

And then like she gave this speech and kind of like

just went off the rails and said stuff I wasn't expecting.

And then like my bio dad got the mic and said stuff that like was not expecting.

And so it's just like when you have stuff that pops up like that, that you're not expecting, it's extremely stressful in the moment.

And you're like,

I'm like literally like, well, you looked over at me and you're like, shut the mic, shut the mic.

Well, and the thing.

But it was fine.

Like other other people thought it was beautiful.

Would anyone else notice?

No.

It was fine.

But then you get into a territory where, like,

you almost want people to know, like, no, that was unplanned.

Yeah.

Like, because then...

I wouldn't have had that go down.

Right.

But then you kind of look towards my parents and you're like, hey, parents, like, that was not planned.

Because if we had planned for them to say something, then maybe my parents would have said a quick little word.

If that had been planned, but it wasn't.

So it's not like we left my parents out.

It's that was just not

part of it.

Well, and like who does speeches at weddings is totally up to the couple.

Like the groom's parents usually do the rehearsal dinner, bride's parents do the wedding.

So it's like that is what it is, but it is very stressful when you have audibles happen for your speech.

And then how many can you have before?

Because we've all been at those weddings.

We honestly were bordering on too many speeches.

Yeah, but we

were beautiful.

They were so good.

Our brides Our planned speeches were the best speeches I've ever heard.

And I know we're biased because it was like involving us since our people, but I got to say,

I don't think I've ever heard better written ones than those.

Seriously.

They were beautiful.

It's going to be hard to beat.

Your best woman, Josie.

I'm like, I forget what you were calling her.

Best woman.

She stood on my side, so I'm like, she was one of my bridesmaids, but like also your best woman.

Best woo man.

Yeah.

Her speech was great.

I had two maid of honors, Lauren and Alejandra.

Their speeches were great.

It was just, it was, it was beautiful.

It really was beautiful, but this can be stressful.

Yes.

OP, not the asshole.

Top comment on this one, bestie for life.

Guests, especially people close to the couple, who don't respect the couple's requests, can kick rocks.

My cousin got married to someone religious.

Our entire extended family is from a different culture and none of us practice any religion.

But out of respect for his family, we bowed our heads and listened to the pastor bless them.

It was their day, not any of ours.

The mom and dad are complete assholes.

I agree.

I agree with that.

We have no update on this one.

Account has been deleted by the person that posted.

So

that's all she wrote, friends.

No more deleting counts, you know?

I don't know what it is with people deleting things lately.

It's very frustrating.

But moving along to this next one.

Yes.

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Okay, so this one is coming from r/slash stories four days old.

It's titled, I scammed my husband into liking me and I admitted it on our wedding day.

Admitted it in my vows, actually, in front of all of our guests.

For me, it was love at first sight.

For my now husband, not so much for him.

I was his little sister's friend with braces and constant teen girl giggling.

He was the older, much, much hotter, couldn't care less older brother upstairs.

I obviously had no shot.

Later, we met again through mutual friends, now both older, no headgear.

I was just as in love.

He was still just as cute.

And this time, I actually had a chance.

I wasn't going to blow it.

I invited him to crash at my place after a friend's birthday party, and dot dot dot dot dot, I had staged the place.

I had casually left out a t-shirt of his favorite football team, you know, just tossed on the back of the chair.

Oops, how did that get there?

I left a CD of his favorite band on my nightstand because obviously that's what any casual fan does.

I love them too, duh.

I had his favorite beer in the fridge.

Yes, I 100,000% drink this beer too.

It doesn't taste like piss water to me at all.

No.

Was I a complete weirdo for doing this?

Yes.

Did it work perfectly?

Also, yes.

It also made for perfect wedding vows.

His sister, a bridesmaid, was only a little annoyed to find out I was using our hangouts as study sessions on her older brother.

Just kidding.

She thought it was hilarious and knew all her friends thought he was cute.

Obviously,

that's it.

That's the post.

Wow, what an ending.

That just felt like boom, it's done.

Wow.

And the way you were reading that just felt like I was waiting for the next sentence.

That's all she wrote.

Okay.

Yeah, I feel like I had a similar experience.

I didn't really stage anything.

No.

But I also feel like I definitely worked very hard to win you over and

you know this one it's not weird or anything i i love it because yeah you may have staged some things that were not super true

but at the end of the day you guys ended up together and i don't think knowing this he would be like oh well the whole relationship's a sham it's built on a crappy foundation it just was the initial thing to get his attention And then your relationship, if it was going to work or fail, it would have worked or failed.

It's not because of this.

And I feel like ours is similar in the sense that, you know, at first, I was all in.

And this is part of my vows.

You know, I said, I left that bar that day and I said, I'm going to marry this girl.

And then I did.

But

at first, it was a lot of

really doing everything I could to win you over.

And even when I thought I had won you over, it was still not there.

I still wasn't there.

So

just, it's a similar journey.

Yeah.

But like, it doesn't take away from the strength of your relationship or how far you've come and all of that.

It's just more of a,

you know, it's perfect.

I use it in my vows too.

It's a perfect full circle.

And I do think like,

I really do agree with you where you're like, yeah, it was a, it was more of like an entryway to get in, but then they still had to like have that chemistry and work out to get to the next step.

Yeah, you're not going to get married to someone because of the beer, the band, and the, you know, so it's like, as long as she didn't totally completely change who she was to get him to fall for her.

Right.

Then I'm like, okay, cute.

But I do think people might be split 50-50 on this one.

I think half the people listening could be like, oh my God, that's so cute.

Like kind of a young, immature thing to do, like being the cool girl.

And yeah, this is my favorite band too.

Ha ha.

And then there's the other half of the people that are going to be like, no, that's actually really creepy and manipulative.

I don't know.

Maybe at first, but then again,

that doesn't have any,

you know, weight of the relationship now.

It's just a funny story.

I know.

I know.

I think it's cute.

I do think it's cute.

It seems like very lighthearted and just like, ha ha, like a cheeky little thing.

And I think that is adorable.

Like, I don't know.

I think I can relate to like having a crush on like a friend's brother or like this kid that lives in my neighborhood.

And I'm going to walk my dog in front of his house just in the off chance he's outside and notices me.

Like we all kind of do that weird shit when we're younger and trying to get someone to notice us and like us.

So I'm like, ugh, hey, that's fine.

It does remind me of a story we had though.

And maybe you guys can let me know which one this is i feel like it was either an episode with lauren or alejandra and it was a story about this woman who

had like seriously changed herself and manipulated her husband into falling for her and then she admitted it to him and he like

immediately like got so creeped out he started divorcing her which is crazy to be able to keep that up yeah i'm forgetting because he would find out she's not the biggest fan of that band or that team really quick and that she doesn't drink that beer the second he pours them both a beer and she's like

and can't finish it, you know?

But I, what I do love, I'm going to interject really quick.

Okay.

What I do love about this though is going forward, you can now use these things, which I maybe it's happened, but You buy a case of that beer every once in a while and just have it stocked in the fridge for him just as kind of a you know a throwback to the joke of the start of everything.

You buy tickets to the game to go see that team, or you buy tickets to that concert when that band's in town.

You keep it going almost as like a nod back to your beginnings, even though it was kind of faked.

I just think, I don't know.

I love it.

No, okay.

So the story, I found the story.

It is titled, I stalked my husband for two years before I formally met him.

Yeah, that's totally different.

And it was just like really, really crazy.

And it was like, I saw him at a park.

I found his Instagram, found his social media.

I also found where he lived since my brother offered to walk him home while I tagged along.

When I got home that day, I knew I wanted him, but of course, I was only 14 while he was 18.

So I came up with a plan.

And then she like admitted this to all of him.

And then he went nuts, which

justifiably.

So, where do you think the comments went on this post?

I don't know.

I know where I sit, so I'm not worried about it.

So, comments right now are sorted with controversial being up top, which is the default for the subreddit.

And this comment says, it would be disgusting if you don't actually like any of those things.

If you do, though, and not just because he does, then you've done nothing gross.

It's definitely gross and shameful if you don't actually like that stuff on your own.

Relationships built on lies always die.

it isn't built on that though that was just the start that was probably the first date it does have it doesn't negative 90 down voice yeah down votes because it's like it's not literally built on that if your relationships built on a like for a band a team and a beer

what i mean there's got to be more depth otherwise what's there come on i'm not it's not like oh we're all vikings fans so we all should be married to each other because we like the vikings you need more than that yeah you got to decorate you got to travel there's a whole bunch of shit you got to do together i mean people did not find this that cute i'm gathering from the comments someone else goes quote i'm not a creepy stalker and quote

no you are

i think people are just jealous of people that actually find real love

Everyone typing these comments is at home single and can't find a date.

So they're like,

you found them the wrong way.

If he knows about it, which he obviously does,

yeah now he doesn't and he if he had a problem with it

he could leave doesn't seem like he has a problem with it he got married he heard the vows probably before they said i do yeah he had a chance he could have left he probably knew it a long time beforehand He is the one that should choose if he wants to leave because of that.

Not all you type in your comments.

It doesn't matter what you think.

So OP does have an edit.

Edit to the people who think this is weird.

One, I already owned the shirt, local school, my dad's shirt, and CD because I genuinely liked them.

I just made sure they were visible.

Two, I don't care.

I'm into my husband.

Sue me.

Exactly.

Final edit.

Live your own life.

Wow.

I guess I should have expected Reddit to be a hellscape, but not like this.

The fact that some of you are genuinely DMing me to harm myself because dot dot dot, I laid out a shirt for a local college team.

My husband and I have been together for many years now.

He was not tricked into anything, you freaks.

He's seen this post in the comments and is just as confused as I am at how shitty you guys are being.

Stop being miserable fucks on the internet and find some happiness.

Literally.

For those that have been kind, my husband and I thank you.

Yeah.

I mean, people

admit like cute, crazy things in their vows and speeches.

Like our videographer, actually,

I found them,

him, it's Josh, and his wife is mayor, and they have like a videography, photography duo.

Amazing, amazing people.

But I found them because Josh posted a clip from one of his weddings and the groomsman or best man was giving a speech.

And in his speech, he was like, you know,

Rachel, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, used to look at me that way.

But, you know, when she started looking at Chris, I knew that Rachel really had met her soulmate.

The only problem was Rachel was dating me at the time.

That was his best man speech.

Like, people

can joke and kid and like not be so serious.

And it's like,

I mean, he.

obviously knows all these things and like it's not a big deal it's not goofy but that other story we read, and I'll find what episode it is and tag it in the description for you guys if you want to go back and watch it.

That person stalked him for two years.

Like, that's different than you have a crush on your friend's older brother.

Haha.

Yeah.

The other one feels like a crime.

This does not.

Yeah.

God, people are nuts.

Don't take things on the internet so seriously sometimes, maybe.

Moral the story with that one.

Yeah.

Like, live your own life.

The keyboard warriors came out.

Do something with your time.

Please.

Yeah, it is interesting.

I mean, just looking at some of OP's comments, people really went down the rabbit hole, assuming things, speculating, and did kind of take a funny story way out of context.

And they're like.

implying like, oh, you're a bad friend because you didn't even tell his sister that you were dating her brother and you were just using her to get close to the brother.

And OP is like, his sister knew we were hanging out and talking.

Where in this post, did it say I didn't tell her first?

She's one of my best friends.

She was also a bridesmaid and couldn't have been happier.

There's literally no issues.

I know.

They're happily together, married.

There's no problems with the sister.

They're all fine.

No.

What is the issue, people?

I don't know.

This is, this is goofy to me.

This is really goofy.

People need to evaluate if they're leaving negative comments on that one.

But again, you know, people have their opinions, I guess.

Go find your own love.

Go find your own love.

Yeah.

Don't try to take other people's love down.

That's what it feels like.

I mean, out of

vows I've seen online, those sound cute, I saw one person's vows that went viral where this guy was like promising to come inside her like a toaster strudel.

Or like, he said something where he's like, I love the way you drain my balls.

That was his vows in front of all of their family, friends, and like their kid.

That's a good pick, huh?

That's crazy.

You just want to like take a little cattle prod to him.

Like,

just

zap him.

No, he'll fill on his own.

Moving along.

Please.

So this one is coming from R/slash Wedding Planning.

It's two years old.

And this is something that is a very, very big fear for for a lot of brides.

Okay.

Okay.

Before we get into this story, I just want to let you know that it is brought to you guys by Ollie, and you'll see why in a second.

Ollie knows that feeling hormonal is totally normal, but sometimes PMS is just not something you want to deal with, especially on your wedding day.

That's where Period Hero comes in.

It's designed to support PMS symptoms like bloating, mood swings, and breast tenderness.

We're dealing with a lot on our wedding days, and the last thing you want to do is be ready to bite your partner's head off, feeling like you're in pain, bloated.

So, Ollie, period hero.

And it plays into this next one.

Okay.

It is titled, Despite My Best Efforts, I Will Be On My Period on My Wedding Day.

I did everything I could.

My fiancé and I talked about it, and we agreed that if we could pick a date where I could not be on my period, that it would be better.

This wasn't solely for the obvious honeymoon-related activities.

I have pretty heavy periods.

My dress is A-line.

I'm not worried about bleeding on the dress.

I am terrified, though, that I'm going to look bloated in the pictures, be irritable the whole day, feel sweaty and gross, and just all around not enjoy the day.

and the first couple or so days of the honeymoon.

Originally, when picking a date, I checked my app, which I've used since 2021.

I have a pretty regular cycle.

The original projection for my cycle and period was the last week of June, ovulation first week of July, and to be clear for July 12th, which is our wedding date, wouldn't start again until the week we got back from our honeymoon.

When I logged my current period, which started yesterday, it updated predictions and moved my period a whole two weeks, putting it as the last fifth day being on July 12th.

I don't understand because this period was one day late.

This wouldn't be the end of the world quite yet, as my fifth day is usually pretty light, if anything at all, but I'm still currently only spotting and haven't truly began to fully bleed yet, which makes me realize that the later it begins, the more it will be pushed back into July.

I've never taken birth control and I don't plan to.

My mom had terrible side effects on multiple different brands.

My personal preference is to refrain, so any suggestions of starting birth control won't help LOL.

The more it gets pushed, the more likely I am to be on it for the entire honeymoon.

Feeling pretty frustrated and disappointed, reassurance or comforting words, question mark, any help, question mark.

This is a real thing a lot of people getting married consider and think about.

I just can't

fathom the fluctuation like that, especially when something's so regular.

I mean, have you had that experience where one day late and it dramatically changes the entire outlook?

Oh, yeah.

Like I update it in my app and you see everything shift.

And like when we check on the app, like ovulation and I'm like, oh, are we in a safe zone?

And I'm like, oh, I didn't log my period.

So I log my period and then it's like, oh, no, we're actually in a danger zone.

Like it can really, it can really change.

Right.

But with how much that changed just based on one day,

how locked in is it that it's actually even going to happen?

That that fifth day is going to line up with the wedding i mean isn't all kind of up in the air yeah it is especially considering

stress can totally change your cycle like if you're that stressed you could be late so i guess like for her and like any bride out there because i was worried about this like i got lucky i started I started my period literally like the last day of our honeymoon and it just timed up really, really well.

But I was worried about this, like feeling feeling bloated, being crabby.

Like when I'm getting my period, I'm extra emotional.

I'm mean.

I'm crabby.

I'm not happy.

Like, I feel like I have that kind of insane PMS, like the really heightened version of it.

So

this period hero, I'm going to try this.

Like, this is probably going to be my new best friend.

So I don't bite your head off around sharkweed.

I need this.

But for any bride out there, like it could fluctuate.

It could

be bad, it could not come at all.

You don't know.

So, I guess, like, it might be comforting for a lot of people to have something like this Ollie product, Period Hero, on deck at, you know, in your emergency kit, just in case you do have your period.

Yeah, for sure.

I mean, what other methods are there?

Like, if it's going to be inevitable, it's happening on that day,

and that's just nature's course, right?

Yeah,

what other things can you do?

Is this kind of a new step in a new whole category here?

Because

I don't know.

Ice packs, you use a heat pad every once in a while.

Oh, when it's real bad, yeah.

But what else really is there that you can do

to at least make it the best possible it can be for that day?

Period hero.

Yeah, no, that's what I mean.

Like, what else

really is there?

There's not a lot lot out there.

I mean, that's the one thing about women's health.

It's like, it's kind of overlooked.

Like, women were not a part of studies for so long because our hormones would negatively impact the studies on drugs.

Like, they didn't even test car seat belts on women crash test dummies until recent years.

Like, there's a whole book on it.

So, the fact that Ollie is like, focused on women's health and like Period Hero isn't just the only product they have.

Like, they've got a bunch of other stuff for women i just like i feel like it could be such like a saving grace for a lot of people out there like not just wedding day right right but like other events too like it still blows my mind that women have to go to work on their periods like blows my mind so to then have like something fun like a big life event that's so fun

and to have your period just like an added thing you don't want to have to worry about especially if you get bad periods.

Yeah.

Like I've got friends that like go to the hospital basically every other period because their cramps are so bad and they have endo and they have all these other things.

Like,

it, it's just nice knowing that there could be something out there to like help.

Anything.

Yeah.

Like just help support your PMS.

Well, as you're building up to a wedding, you're thinking,

I think the biggest one is, I hope the weather's what we hope.

Oh my God, we were terrified about the weather.

Another one I kept thinking about is, I just don't want to be sick

i don't want to have that sore throat creep on the day before or the day of i mean how terrible of timing to get sick which this kind of falls in that category because you can't control you can only just react and so yeah if there is a saving grace which You know, there are certain things you can take if you're feeling a cold come on.

It's like, okay, what are the emergency things?

Because we've read stories about that where I woke up the morning of my wedding, it was downpouring, and I started to feel like I was actually getting sick.

Well, there's certain medications and things you can kind of take.

The weather, I don't know, you go inside, or there's a lot of umbrellas.

So, yeah, what's the plan B here?

Period hero.

Yeah.

I also think, like, thinking about your honeymoon, too, and I know it's like, oh, it's so frustrating if you're going to like a beach vacation and, you know, you don't want to have to have a tampon string potentially hang out of your swimsuit.

And they're done that.

Cut your tampon strings, not too far.

You need a little, a little tug still, a little tugboat string, but cut them, cut them.

Because no matter if you tuck them up your butt, water can push that little string out.

And then the next thing, you know, you're on a paddleboard with a tampon string hanging out and someone's telling you about it.

So

cut it.

But I think like,

just like try to enjoy it.

Don't stress.

You know, your honeymoon is about typically for a lot of people relaxing, de-stressing after the wedding.

So if you do have really bad cramps and you just need to sit in the room a day, that's fine.

Like take it as a day to cuddle and have your partner look after you and just relax

the best you can.

I think that's what a lot of honeymoons are all about is relaxing because that's really what you need when you get through wedding planning and you get through the day itself because i think the the day itself is amazing it's so fun but for for you hope that's the goal right like if you haven't had that wedding day be what you wanted like do a mulligan do vow renewals do something get yourself a mulligan because it is so fun well either way whether it's fun or it's terrible you're gonna need you have to recover yeah i think yes planning a honeymoon that's adventure and travel and crazy is cool but i think you need to mix in a couple of spa days or beach days in there because once you get to the other side all you want to do is relax especially if it happens to line up with shark week shark week and you know what there's always towel time and at a hotel yeah let's talk about towel time messing up your own towels at home have we ever tossed them on the floor yeah have we next day talked about towel time brand new i don't know if we've ever introduced towel time on the pod.

Towel time's great.

That's the other thing.

This is what it is.

Yeah, like and you're at a like a hotel, like you don't have to be self-conscious.

Like hotel people, they've seen it all.

Trust me, I've, where did I?

I messed up a sheet.

Amsterdam.

I got my period in the middle of the night and I, it went through to the mattress pad.

Like,

also been there.

I have really, really bad periods, you guys.

But

like,

like, just don't be weird about having sex on your period.

Like, it's so normal.

And we've had stories like that where someone is like, my husband won't touch me on my period.

Like, he's scared about getting blood on it.

That was wild.

Good luck.

No, like, have the fun.

Obviously, you might not want to do certain activities, but like, put a towel down under you.

We call it towel time.

You know, when you're in the danger zone of shark week, so you don't mess up your nice sheets or your mattress and just have some fun.

Sometimes it makes it better too, right?

Yeah.

I've heard people, you know, those little puppy pads that people buy for potty training their dogs?

I've heard people will use the puppy pads, especially if they're like big into like lube and stuff like that.

It's like waterproof.

Yeah.

Save the sheets and save the towels.

Yes.

Towel time.

Doesn't it also sometimes make you know the negative effects of a period better?

It does.

It really.

I swear.

I have really, really bad cramps and then we'll do stuff and it's like healed.

healed.

I don't know how.

At least for a little, right?

I don't know how.

Healed.

Well, who knows if that applies across the board?

Oh, my God.

We just shared so much info with everyone.

But hey, you know, periods are beautiful.

Our cycles are beautiful.

But everything that comes with it, like the bloating, mood swings, breast tenderness, not so beautiful.

And Ollie gets that, whether it's Period Hero for PMS support or 11 libido, so you can get yours at Tucart.

Ollie is wellness that shows up for women.

You can find these supplements and more at any national retailer or at ollie.com, o-l-l-y.com.

These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.

This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

Thanks, Ollie.

Okay, on to this next one.

This next one is coming from Am I the Asshole, 13 days old.

It is titled, Am I the Asshole for Uninviting My Sister-in-Law from My Wedding After She Leaked My Pregnancy?

Another leak.

Another leak.

I, 26 female, am 10 weeks pregnant.

My partner, 28 male, and I told our immediate families early, but made it very clear we weren't telling anyone else until after the first trimester.

Last night, my fiancé's sister, 29 female, posted a story on Instagram.

It was a get ready with me for a family dinner we had last weekend.

She then casually, indirectly, talks about becoming an auntie.

She tagged me and my fiancé.

I saw it when I got a notification that I was tagged.

I had over 50 messages from distant friends and coworkers before I could even process it.

We hadn't even told our friends yet.

I was totally mad, called her screaming.

She tried to say it was an accident and that she forgot and she was just teasing.

I told her she was uninvited from our wedding.

She cried.

My future in-laws are furious, saying I'm overreacting and ruining the family over a silly social media post.

They say I should just be happy.

People are excited.

My fiancé is on my side.

Am I the asshole?

No, but

I don't know if it's being blown out of proportion because once the dust settles, really at the end of the day, what is the meaningful thing here?

You know, I, it's tough because stuff does leak.

You walk this fine line between you want to tell close family so they don't feel that they were left out.

And, you know, you want to share the excitement.

It's hard to keep things that are really big like that to yourself.

So you want to tell your mom.

You want to tell your dad.

You want to, you know, and you also don't want them to get to the first trimester and hear later on.

You know, it's not about that, but you just want your people to know.

And I think when you trust people with that, there's always a risk, right?

Because people slip.

People tell people, don't tell anyone else.

Promise me you won't.

And then that, whatever.

Yeah.

Here in this case, it was a social media thing.

Maybe it was a lapse, you know, just kind of happened out of her excitement.

She didn't really think about it.

It doesn't feel malicious to me

in the sense that she didn't say, this person's pregnant.

She said

talking about becoming an aunt.

She even tagged them in it.

I know, I know, I know.

I know, yeah.

So I don't know where it falls in that, but I,

you know, I would have her at the wedding.

I would make your

point clear,

but I wouldn't

necessarily burn the bridge and blow everything up over this.

Yeah.

Your call, but for me, it just feels like, yeah, it sucks, but there is some validity to what the other people are saying.

And like, everyone's just excited.

And, you know, this isn't the way you want it to come out,

but it happened.

So how do we go from here?

Because we're not going to go back and change it.

I'm not saying don't be mad at her and not hold her accountable.

Be mad.

But at the same time, take a step back.

and really look at what's in front of you.

Really important day and really big things coming.

Yeah, I mean, I don't think it was an accident.

I don't think she just forgot.

I think she wanted the satisfaction of being able to break that news.

That's true.

She posted it in a get ready with me video.

She seemingly recorded it, edited it, watched it back.

That's true.

Still chose to

accidentally tagged them in it.

No accidents.

It's a pain in the ass to tag people and stuff.

She knew what she was doing.

She wanted to revel in the fact that she had this insider information and be the first to break it.

And I think it's incredibly disrespectful to slip up and share someone's news

when they're not ready.

I agree.

A lot of people don't do it out of, let me keep this to myself.

We're excited.

We want to just soak this up.

A lot of people wait and don't share until they're out of the first trimester just in case.

Sure.

Yeah.

Just in case.

Yeah.

So it's one of those things that's like incredibly disrespectful because what if things did go south?

What if it didn't work out?

Then they have to explain to all these people, they never would have had to do that if you weren't such a dumb fucking bitch.

Yes.

So I do agree with you.

I first wholeheartedly, not the asshole, take some space, let this cool down.

Don't talk to her for a little bit.

Yeah.

Tell your friends how you want, like bring this back to being about you, your fiancé, your baby, and kind of get some of that back.

But yeah, I agree.

I wouldn't burn the bridge.

I'd have her at the wedding.

I'd make the seating chart and put her as far away from you as you can.

You know, you get a little power with that seating chart.

You can strategically place those people.

That's true.

So,

you know,

put her at the boring table that that other girl had on her seating chart.

Closest to the door.

I mean,

I joke, but

ours is really tough.

I don't think we had a boring table.

No, we didn't.

But you just ended our wedding was pretty intimate with family and friends and the head table.

Honestly, if you're there, you're special.

Yeah.

It's the seating, if you're back by the door, it's just because that's how the arrangement worked.

It's not any less special.

And invited you and wanted you there to celebrate their day.

They mailed an invitation or got an invitation to you.

Like, there's no bad table.

Like, you are in the room.

Yeah.

But maybe just like mess up her food order.

Oh, she wanted chicken.

Oh, she gets beef.

Oh, she has a dairy allergy.

Oh, well, she gets milk.

Top comment on this one.

Not the asshole.

Not only did she go against your wishes, she also took away your joy of making that announcement yourselves.

Not just that, but only 10 weeks.

If something goes wrong, hopefully OP had a pleasant and trouble-free pregnancy.

That will now be a huge list of telling a bunch of people.

And if you forget someone, it's explaining over and over when someone texts how the pregnancy is going.

It's really rude when they made it clear they weren't telling anyone before or after trimester has passed, just to put it out there.

Yeah, well, and it reminds me, I guess, of when we did our engagement.

And honestly, without really telling people,

nobody posted anything without clearing it with us

because they knew it was such a big deal for us to be able to tell.

Yeah.

So I guess, yeah, it would feel.

I'm just trying to relate to it because we haven't, you know, we haven't gotten to this stage yet.

No.

And so I guess the more I think about it, the more it would be hard not to just go scorched earth the second this would happen.

Oh, I would.

I would freak out like RP.

I would feel so attacked.

I would really feel attacked.

I don't know why I'm not necessarily.

You're violated.

Yeah.

Maybe I'm not

my sassy self tonight.

Because I was more kind of thinking from a

bigger picture,

but I think I was

pretty,

pretty,

really

upset right away.

Well, and I know if like this were me and you, you would go crazy, like at bat for me if I was upset over this.

Like, I know you and you wouldn't be the positive

like pacifist in it.

You'd be like, yeah, fuck her.

Yeah, but maybe.

But, well, sure, maybe initially.

But I do think I am good at coming around to look at the bigger picture.

You do talk me off

the ledges.

Yeah, you're pretty good about that.

But

yeah, OP is not the asshole.

No.

Overall, vote was not the asshole.

13 days old.

OP

has since deleted their post.

Oh, I thought you were going to say account.

Everyone's deleting the account.

No, post has been deleted,

but

what's just weird because I can still see the post, but when I go to their account, there's no posts on their account.

Huh, glitching.

It could be glitching.

But I'll keep an eye on the account and see if any update gets posted.

I mean, it's 13 days old.

It's pretty, pretty fresh,

but we're going to move on to this next one.

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This next one is coming from r/slash wedding drama two months old, titled, My Dad's New New Wife Had an Adult Temper Tantrum the Whole Day.

So for some backstory, my dad is recently married to a woman that myself, my siblings, and many members of my dad's family do not like.

She has done some very hurtful things in the past year and is very controlling of my father and his contact with us.

Anytime she doesn't get her way, she has an outburst, and my dad takes the path of least resistance and just does what she says, even if it comes at the cost of hurting his kids.

However, I decided to put all of that behind me and invite her to my wedding anyways, knowing sadly that my dad would likely not come to my wedding if she wasn't invited.

I did, however, only ask that he come to the rehearsal, as it would be only about 20 people and I didn't want any drama happening the night before the wedding.

My dad agreed with that plan months ago, but then a week before the wedding called and said he wouldn't be there if she wasn't invited.

I stood my ground and said that I would see them on the wedding day.

That seemed to have set her off.

She arrived in a bright red, sparkly mini dress.

Multiple guests were overheard asking, quote, who the stripper in the dress was.

Cried before the ceremony started and refused to stand as my mom and dad walked me down the aisle, sulked and disappeared for family photos, even though I was inviting her to be in them.

Loudly said that she, quote, didn't want to eat any of the shitty food that was being served for dinner.

This comment actually got my grandma, who never says a mean thing about anyone, to tell her that, quote, if she can't be respectful, then she needs to leave.

Got into a fight with my dad and threw her drink.

kept disappearing to drink in her car and then reappearing just to sulk and cry in the corner.

Luckily, none of the events impacted my night at all.

I had the best day ever, still trying to decide if and how to confront my dad about how concerning this behavior was.

It's honestly

just kind of hilarious.

Oh, I'm glad OP has a sense of humor, too.

Absolutely pathetic, some people are.

Dude, and just the worst,

worst just side of humanity.

Just like, come on.

Where it can't be about anyone else but them, no matter what.

Yeah.

And just to have this much emotion and

anger and everything over

someone that's not even your kid's wedding day.

Yeah.

Why are you crying and refusing to stand as OP's walking down the aisle?

What did she do to you?

Why?

How did she hurt your life so much?

You know what I mean?

I mean, it's an adult kid.

Like, you're coming in and marrying this guy when all of his kids are seemingly grown.

Like, how does him having kids threaten or negatively impact you?

I can't believe it's crazy.

Just

it's just unfathomable because I just can't ever imagine myself acting that way or having that much feeling over

nothing.

It's just this jealousy, this weird competition that isn't even a competition.

It's just these kids want to see their dad.

Yeah.

It's not like they're competing with you.

It's just so weird.

I don't get that.

I truly think, like, if you can't handle being a step parent and you're jealous of someone's kids and you are upset that they have kids that aren't your kids, don't marry them.

Don't be with them.

If you can't handle being a step parent, don't be one.

That's your choice.

Like, oh, I fell in love.

Don't care.

Yeah.

Move on.

But someone is

like, it's got to be all of them.

You can't just fall in love with a part of someone.

Yeah.

You need, if you're all of them, they're a dad as well.

Yeah.

If you're going to commit and truly love someone, you need to love

them

and also the people around them.

That's just as important.

Yeah.

Because if you,

I mean, we see it a lot with the people trying to you know get someone isolated on their own and

kind of

what's the term where they take them away from their friends and family isolate isolate and yeah

no it's an abuse tactic yeah and that happens for sure but if you're really genuinely

there for someone and and want to to truly fully love them yeah that includes their friends their family everyone they consider special to them and their kids

you know especially so

i don't know i don't know why this is so common i don't know why people like to play these games and think that oh it's my kid's wedding day but i'm gonna listen to my new crazy ass wife because i don't want to ruin things at home so i'm gonna create this problem with my kid forever

because they'll never forget it but i do find it awesome that she had the best day ever and it's absolutely hilarious that she had the best day ever and this woman is doing all this

like she's miserable she's miserable i love that i love that op really embraced the be a duck in this like didn't ruin my night i had the best day ever still and that was me and you like if you're over on patreon

You will see a quip I posted, but we went through some very, very, very similar family drama before our wedding.

My dad, love him,

is dating someone new and just got a little goofy.

And at one point was like, I'm not coming to the wedding and just like not, not being himself, like just being so goofy.

And it's hard to know where that's coming from, whatever feeling on the feeling wheel.

He wants to narrow that down, but he bucked up.

He showed up.

He was perfect.

Went to the rehearsal dinner, went to the wedding.

His girlfriend did not come, even though she was invited.

This whole thing.

I don't, I just all over nothing.

All for nothing.

Like, it's just this goofy thing.

And like, it started out kind of in a similar way where we were really tight on rehearsal dinner numbers.

And I was like, she's welcome to come to the wedding.

But like, as of right now, we don't have room.

If that changes and she's in Duluth, she'll come.

And he threw a fit and just like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

But, you know, just caused us really all we ended up with is mountains of stress for the few weeks leading up to the wedding, the two months leading up to the wedding.

I mean, it was really sad.

It was really just like unfortunate that he was being like very dramatic in that moment.

But I mean, she didn't end up coming and it was, it was great.

Like, my dad was more present.

Either way, it's like, it was perfect.

What's the point?

Paid for her meal, but, you know, whatever.

Yeah.

We ate it the next night.

Yeah.

We did have leftovers.

But I just think it's, it's times like that where like family can come out of the woodwork, even people you don't expect.

Like if you'd have asked us before we really got into wedding planning and like all of this stuff, like, who's going to create drama on your day?

I would not have picked my dad.

And so it can bring out interesting stuff in the least likely culprits.

Like it's just, it's very surprising.

Well,

you know, on the day everything was awesome.

It was.

It was perfect.

He was great.

So I didn't hear about any drama.

No.

No.

So you know how people wait to tell you?

Like they're not going to tell you on your day.

No.

But they'll wait to tell you until like you're back from your honeymoon.

I haven't heard.

There was nothing.

My grandma had like a little hell scare leading up to it the week of that I found out after.

But other than that, there was nothing like, oh, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, got into a fight and they stormed off.

No, I haven't heard anything either.

Nothing.

No, I'm like, I'm going to have to text everyone and be like, did anything happen that I missed out on?

What happened?

What do you think about this person, though?

Like, we, we did kind of like talk to my dad.

Like, we really kind of did confront him and like kind of hash through things a bit.

Should this person even bother?

It feels like they've been down this road many times.

It just,

what I took from this story is that it's built up over time.

We already know exactly who the new wife is and how she thinks of them.

We, you know, they mentioned how dad will just run off and

take the easy route when it hurts his kids.

So they're, they've been down this road.

They know what this is and they're affected by it.

It's not going to change.

He's not going to change.

I'm sure they've had the conversation.

So at this point, I would just say, man,

that's a crazy story to tell from the wedding.

I had a great time and from here on out,

I don't know.

If dad wants to come hang out with me cool but i'm not going out of my way to invite him

which basically includes her to anything but if he wants to work on our relationship

great

otherwise i'm just going about my life enjoying my new married life and continue forth yeah i agree with that and so does the top comment Top comment says he knows what she is, but he gets to fuck a stripper in a red sparkly dress.

That's all he's thinking.

Don't confront him.

Just let him know that when she takes all his money, he can't live with you.

Oh, I like it.

Next comment: sadly, this is the answer.

This dad is thinking with the wrong brain.

Next comment.

That implies that two brains exist where none does.

Yeah.

This comment says, to quote the legendary English madam Cynthia Payne, when the balls are full, the brain is empty.

Damn.

Graphic.

Very, like,

another constructive comment is: just, I wouldn't invite this woman to any other event I promoted.

And if my father got upset, that's his problem.

Yeah, it literally is.

Another one is, I'm sure he knows you had a great day.

Be glad and move on.

Far away from her.

And honestly, like, this is your dad's circus.

Let him deal with it.

Like, he knows who he's married to.

He can't

have had fun with that.

Like, there's no way.

Like, let him just revel in his misery.

Yeah.

That is them and their relationship.

But he's choosing.

He's choosing.

He's choosing.

You're not going to tell him not to.

He's an adult.

He's doing what he wants.

Fine.

He's going to do his thing.

But okay, I've got one last one for us here.

And then we are out of here because it's late.

It's time for bed.

We're still very jet-lagged from our family.

Do I feel like every ending like this that has to do with the wedding?

Because this feels like, you know, the episode after the wedding.

Yeah.

It feels like another door closing on our wedding.

It just feels like it's all over and it's done forever.

We are going to do a wedding theme over on Patreon.

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Yeah.

Great.

So it's not over.

Wedding's not over.

Over.

Okay, so I'm giving you a choice choice on this last one the other option will be going over to patreon okay with me with you we're doing a full wedding theme over there probably gonna get a lot more tea spilled you know i gotta gotta keep it a little tidy over here

okay so this first option okay

help the moms of the bride and groom are ccing me on their war over the invitations

or option two:

my husband got jealous over the girl he let on for years at our wedding.

I think I'm gonna have to go with number two.

Number two?

Yeah.

Okay.

My husband got jealous over the girl he let on for years at our wedding.

I, 25 female, got married to my now husband, 24 male.

We'll call him Jim a week ago after dating for two and a half years.

Jim has a friend called Misha, 22 female, who was invited to the wedding.

He and Misha have known each other since high school and were close friends.

And Misha had a very obvious crush on Jim from what he and others who know them have told me.

Jim told me this after I met Misha for the first time and confessed that he leaned into her crush and led her on throughout their high school years.

and for a little while after, before we got together, because he was struggling with his mental health and he really liked her attention.

He seemed genuinely guilty about all of this because he thought Misha was a nice girl and a good friend.

And because he showed guilt, I didn't feel the need to bring it up or argue about it despite thinking it was a shitty thing to do.

Plus, Misha is a nice girl who has never overstepped boundaries and has been nothing but kind and friendly towards me.

And I now consider her a friend too.

Misha moved away to the city last year and has done really well for herself and has a long-term boyfriend who none of us have met yet.

So when it came to sending wedding invites, I told her she was welcome to bring him as her plus one.

The first red flag came when Jim was weirdly resistant to the idea of Misha bringing her boyfriend, but he excused it on being concerned about the number of guests we invited, and then the matter was dropped.

When the wedding day came, Misha showed up in this beautiful dress, nothing inappropriate for a a wedding, and with her boyfriend on her arm, who I'll admit is a very handsome guy.

Think Kit Harrington type.

She's also lost weight and has a haircut that suits her better, and I thought she looked great.

We also found out throughout the night that her boyfriend is very successful and earns more than practically anyone else who attended.

Throughout the reception, I noticed Jim glaring at Misha and her boyfriend the whole time.

And he was really cold and short towards her when she came over to congratulate us and give us a gift.

He was also straight up kind of rude to her boyfriend when Misha introduced us to him.

When his mom, who's always known and liked Misha, mentioned that she was glad Misha found a great guy and praised her boyfriend for being so nice, Jim snapped that, quote, at least she won't be desperate and hung up on me for the rest of her life,

which

I thought was cruel and uncalled for.

But I didn't challenge him because I didn't want to argue at my wedding, despite the fact that he frankly sounded bitter.

The whole thing has left an awful taste in my mouth, and I can't help but think that Jim got jealous that Misha has found a guy who's honestly quite a catch, who she's clearly very in love with, and is now completely over jam

wow that's the post wow i wonder if it's captured in any of the wedding photos

the happy couple and then she's like on his arm and he's just like staring this way which

this is really tough because

he obviously liked the thought of someone out there Pining over

yes.

And

even having that still, like, oh i'm the man i'm gonna

you know not that he's cheating but he just likes that feeling i guess yeah and so now that person's gone because it makes you start to wonder did he

like that maybe not that he was going to actively cheat but it's like always a backup option that's out there Or is it simply just the intention of having someone out there that wants you, but can't have you?

You know, what is it that wonder he likes about that?

Because obviously, he could have chosen her if he wanted to back in the day.

I know, because like he could have dated her, yeah.

And so, is it truly him just like being deeply insecure where he likes that ego boost that someone out there is obsessed with him?

Oh, she likes me, and I'm too good for her.

Like, what is it deep down that he gets off on that?

Yes.

About that attention but i will say i think i'm getting an annulment after that i mean i would you spent your in the entire wedding night

staring weird and fixating on this and then you're going to snap when your mom brings it up and you're going to be rude to him and not really give her the time of day when she showed up to support you on your day yeah because she

think it's probably not the easiest thing

especially for her in the past to think one day I'm going to go to his wedding and I have to watch him marrying someone else.

She's moved on.

She still showed up to support her friend.

I'm so happy for her.

She's got a great situation.

I just can't believe that this took center stage on the wedding day.

He's a deeply insecure man.

And man.

Deeply, deeply insecure.

Or self-centered.

Is that like an extremely self-centered, egotistical asshole?

Like, I would love a psychologist to chime in and be like, what is this about?

Top comment.

I think I would have to take a step back from a hubby and see if there were any other red flags you've missed.

He was jealous of this woman and her boyfriend on your wedding day.

All caps.

I cannot imagine how much this hurt you.

I am so sorry.

It's a nightmare.

It is.

Next comment,

how he admitted to treating that girl was the red flag, and OP entirely overlooked it.

Basically, he was okay using someone to meet his own needs and feed his ego for years.

How exactly did OP think that makes for a good husband?

But that's the other problem.

Way too young, in my opinion, to be getting married anyways.

Which, I mean, they're not that young.

Next comment, dude, right?

Years, years he spent stringing her along.

I'm so proud of Misha, Misha, I don't know, sorry, for her perceived happiness.

I hope it's genuine.

Also, can you imagine just that thing he said

at the wedding when the mom was like, I'm so happy she's found a nice guy.

And at the wedding, he goes, At least she won't be desperate and hung up on me for the rest of her life.

Yeah, sure.

Because that's exactly what you want.

Then why are you mad?

If she's so desperate, why are you acting mad and sad and dejected when you're getting married married to someone you love question mark right no it's it's freak there's that that whole situation is not going to work out but

i don't really really hope this isn't the case and i'm not thinking it is but what if she went and found the best possible option to play her boyfriend or to

show up as her date or to

you know get convince some other guy to go to a wedding with her There's a lot of movies on this

will make him jealous and get his attention all night long because she's been hung up on him forever.

Yeah.

She won't move on.

So, what's what's she got to do?

Wedding day is the last stand, man.

I got to find the best possible person to bring with me to get him to stare at me all night

and be jealous and then cause a breakup in the relationship.

Then, you know, we were talking like, oh, we're OP.

We're going to get an annulment.

There you go.

You just, you just got her out of the way.

So now

the door is open again.

Now he might all of a sudden, you know, he just lost his love because he was staring at you all night.

That relationship's done.

And now

you also randomly break up with the guy, show up on his front doorstep and say, I broke up with him.

I know he's perfect.

He makes all this money.

He treats me great.

And he looks amazing like Kit Harrington.

But

I'm choosing you.

I just broke up with him for you.

Hell no.

And I'm on your front doorstep.

Let's make this official.

That should have been our wedding.

And now we're going to have it.

No, hell no.

Misha, Misha is so much better off.

But this, there's many Netflix movies and movies, Hallmark movies on this plot of like going to a wedding with a hot date.

One old movie, similar vibes.

It's from 2005.

It's called The Wedding Date.

It's with Deborah Messing and Dermot

Mulroney.

Mulroney.

He dates Jess in New Girl.

He's the hot old guy.

Forgetting his name.

What other movies is he in?

He's also in My Best Friend's Wedding.

Hot Old.

Guys.

Well, he's older now.

My best friend's wedding.

Anything Julia Roberts, wedding related, Runaway Bride, My Best Friend's Wedding She's Into is really good.

The wedding date.

Table 19 is a hidden gem of a wedding movie.

It's with Anna Kendrick.

Super good.

I like that title.

That's cool.

Table 19.

Yeah.

I'm into that.

All these people get put at the misfit table and they share this amazing time.

It's great movie.

Great movie.

I like that.

That's a great idea.

Yeah.

If you've got any other wedding movies, please put them in the comments.

I'm like trying to just like soak up any wedding movies.

What's the one in Alaska?

Wedding movie?

Oh, the proposal.

Oh, and Betty White's in it.

Great movie.

That's top tier.

Great movie.

Any, honestly, any like good romance rom-com movies, please send them away.

I'm going to go home and watch Penelope tonight with Christina Ritchie.

That's like, I think it's Christina Richie.

That's one of my favorites.

So you're supporting my case.

You know, the more I sit here and think about it, I think that's what she did.

You think?

Yep.

I don't know.

You know why?

Because we've all seen those movies, and I i bet she watches all of them i bet she has a subscription to every service so she can watch all those movies i'm thinking she's in love

i really i do hope so i will say i do hope so i hope she's moved on and found someone better than him because he's kind of a lost cause at this point i feel really bad for op i know but i'm really starting to think that that was the play and i i want

I don't think so.

If it goes this way, I'm not wishing this into existence, but if it goes this way, I want an update and I want the update to say I ended things with him and then she, Misha, Misha, ended things with Mr.

Perfect Kit Harrington and she showed up on his door and bum bum bum, cliffhanger.

Yeah, will they end up together?

I hope she ends up with the nice guy who's not an insecure freak.

We don't know enough about him.

Kit Harrington look like because he sounds hot.

We don't know enough about him.

I also will say I watched the materialists and I really, really, really had high hopes because, God, what an all-star cast.

Chris Evans, Dakota Johnson, and Pedro Pascal.

You did me dirty on that movie.

Botched board.

Botched board.

Wow.

So, we do have a half-update.

There's a little bit of a comment at the end of the post.

After getting some private messages from people, I decided to go through his phone while he was napping after work.

And needless to say, this marriage is over.

I'll post a real update when I have sorted everything out.

And you're still doubting me.

There was part one.

That's the first thing that needs to happen.

Now all she needs to do, not OP, Misha, needs to break up with her guy.

And it's all, it's.

Okay.

Let's get to the actual update.

Oh, there's more.

I thought she said it was coming.

Yeah, we have it.

Yeah, we're ready.

Hey, everyone, I'm posting here because I said in my last post that I would update when I'm able to.

Pretty much the day after my original post, I got some PMs from people suggesting that I go through my husband Jim's phone to see if he and Misha were truly just friends before this and that nothing romantic happened between them that would explain his reaction at the wedding.

He always takes a 45-minute nap after work, and so I used that as my opportunity to swipe his phone from where it was charging on his desk so that I could look through it.

I've seen him put his passcode in a ton of times, so that wasn't an issue.

I didn't find anything in his text with her, but I know that Jim goes on Instagram a lot, so I checked there too.

The immediate red flag was that he'd used an app lock that required a passcode to access Instagram, but the dumbass used the same passcode that he uses to unlock his phone, so I got into that right away.

It's his birth year, go figure.

Nice.

And what would you know?

I go to his messages with Misha and find messages from him the morning after our wedding telling her how beautiful she'd looked that night, how much he had missed her, how he felt that her boyfriend being there spoiled his opportunity to catch up with her, and that he was desperate to meet up with her.

I

never would have guessed.

I would have.

I did.

It's on camera.

Misha never replied to these messages, and he sent some more later to her that day.

I won't get into what he said because they were very personal insults that were frankly just gross, but just think about the kind of stuff you would read on that nice guy's subreddit.

Misha left him on red, and when I clicked on her account, it appears that she's blocked him.

I scrolled through their messages quite far back, and I believe nothing romantic has happened between them.

I wish that was all, but looking in his other conversations on Instagram, I found that he's been messaging other girls on there.

They seemed like aspiring Instagram model types from our area.

Most of these conversations were just him shooting his shot and getting left on red, but others had evolved into flirting, and two of them resulted in sexting.

Dang, right there on Instagram, huh?

Wow.

And the most embarrassing part of it all, the nudes he was sending to these women weren't even of him.

I know what his body looks like, and he doesn't have chiseled abs and isn't that well endowed.

I think he must have found a man's profile on some adult website and used those pictures, just cropping the face out.

These two conversations happened in the past six months.

Right during wedding planning.

Right during wedding planning.

I ended up texting his mom and his brother from my phone, asking them to come and pick him up from the apartment, and then I went to wake him up.

I told him that I knew about the girls he was messaging on Instagram and that he needed to pack a bag and get the hell out before I started throwing his stuff out on the street and causing a scene.

He started crying and begging me to not kick him out and swore that they were just messages and that he would never actually cheat on me.

But I don't believe him for a second.

Then he had the nerve to tell me that he didn't want me to tell anyone else about what he'd done, but I had left the room and started ignoring him by that point.

He left with his mom and brother and is staying there, from what I know.

I've blocked him on everything for the time being until I'm ready to tell him that I'm seeking annulment.

Thankfully, where I'm from, you can get one almost no questions asked as long as you haven't been married for longer than 30 days, and I've already looked into the process.

I haven't really left my apartment at all this week, and I've been calling in in sick to work because I don't feel I can face people.

I'm just so embarrassed that I've wasted over two years on this man and that I married him in the first place.

I don't feel like I could even talk to people about this.

So, posting here has helped, and I'd like to thank you all for your kind words, advice, and support.

I might reach out to Misha when the dust has settled, but I think I'll need to build up some courage for that.

Dang,

yeah, that's tough because then,

you know, you probably took off time from work

prior.

You've been building it up with everyone.

Oh, I'm getting married.

It's coming in two weeks.

I mean, you talk

about it to everyone.

That's been our conversation for months and honestly, a year.

I know.

I'm kind of ready to move to the next chapter.

I'm really, I loved it.

I loved it.

I want to plan more weddings for fun because I loved it, but I'm excited.

But everyone's going to be asking first day you get back, you know, to work.

How was the wedding?

Oh, my god,

that's all you're gonna have.

Yeah, and you just have to face that.

With,

I mean,

you have a kick-ass story.

I understand it's incredibly emotional and terribly heartbreaking, and just probably the worst you could possibly feel.

Because I've been through breakups, but not literally

right after the wedding.

I mean, can you imagine?

So I feel for her.

I really do.

Kind of shocked on the whole Misha situation.

So I was was half right, but

you know,

I'm sure we're all curious.

We do have one final update.

Oh.

This update is coming four months after the original post.

Hi, everyone.

I just thought I'd give an update to my situation since I still get messages of support on here every week or so.

You'll be glad to hear that I was able to get the annulment and I didn't have to go through a messy divorce with Jim.

I struck an agreement with him that I wouldn't tell a soul about his cheating or what happened with Misha and would leave him alone forever if he agreed to the annulment and got it over quickly.

I did end up sticking to my end of the bargain, but it ended up not mattering because it turns out his brother is quite the gossip and let the cat out of the bag over Christmas after getting into an argument with Jim while drunk.

A lot of Jim's family were pissed and asked for the money they contributed to his half of the wedding fund back, and some of our mutual friends have cut contact with him.

A couple of our friends plastered everything on Facebook and humiliated him.

Nice.

It was interesting to watch the back and forth between them and Jim, honestly.

I lived in our apartment and covered the rent on my own while he lived at his parents until the lease ended back in January.

And now I'm living with my dad and I plan to stay here for a while and take things easy.

Yeah.

In January, I also tried reaching out to Misha via text asking if she'd like to meet up for coffee coffee to talk about anything.

I never got a response directly from her, but a few days later, I got a call from her number, and it was her boyfriend on the other end.

He said they were both sorry for what had happened to me, and that they hope I'm doing well, but that Misha thought it was best to cease any contact as this whole ordeal had made her anxiety and mental health problems spiral and had landed her back in therapy.

I did ask why she never told me that Jim had messaged her the day after the wedding, and her boyfriend confessed that he advised her not to get involved, and his direct words were, quote, I'm sorry to sound rude, but it's not her circus.

I'm a little disappointed that she doesn't want to talk to me, but I get where she's coming from, and I can't force her to do anything.

To be honest, I think she's been looking for a way to divorce herself from our hometown and the people she knew and Jim back in high school for a while now.

As for me, I'm also in therapy as I want to sort through these feelings and get back to feeling good about myself again before I even think about entering the dating scene again.

I've also been firm about ending friendships with anyone who has taken Jim's side as I don't want him finding his way into my life again.

So far, he stayed away from me and hasn't tried to contact me, although his mom reached out over Christmas to ask me if there was any chance I might forgive Jim and take him back.

As in her opinion, quote, you two are just meant to be together.

I didn't respond to her, and I've blocked her on pretty much everything now, too.

Thank you again for all your kind words and support.

I'm certain leaving that asshole would have been harder for me had I not had hundreds of comments backing me up.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Good job, OP.

Yep.

Hey, four months in, slowly but surely,

get all back to normal.

Well, and like moral of the story with this one is like, even if you go through the wedding day, like, if you feel it's not right,

don't keep going forward.

Like, OP was like, I'm so sad I wasted two years of my life and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

But, like,

what is it if you like marry someone and then you're, you know, not feeling it, or something's off, red flags, uh, and then you go two more years and then you still are in the same spot you were, and now you've wasted seven years or nine years or 11 years.

Like,

it's what's that saying?

It has to do with trees, but it kind of fits this vibe.

It's like the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, the next best time is today.

It's kind of like that with relationships.

Like, don't let the sunken cost fallacy get you.

Move on.

Yeah, one I will say too, I think a lot of times the gut reaction when something ends is, oh, well, I've wasted seven years,

but you really haven't.

I mean, you know, there's a lot of things you might look at differently because of the cheating and what was going on at certain times, but really there, there had to have been some good times

and you had an experience, you got to know someone very closely, you got to have all these experiences with them.

And really, if it all was, you know, kind of a sham or on a crap foundation, then

you grew in some ways.

You learned something, you took something out of it.

I don't think the time is ever truly wasted.

It's just the journey for you to really find that right person.

And yeah, maybe it meant having a 10-year relationship that blew up at the end and felt like a waste.

But whatever that was, is leading you down the right path to that right person.

And you wouldn't find them if you didn't have that.

So yes, I get the reaction, but you know, it's not wasted.

You just got to work through it and keep on moving on.

There's only so much you can do with dwelling on the past.

And

sure, you can learn things from it.

But if you really dwell on it, nothing good's ever going to come from it.

You just got to look forward and keep moving forward.

Otherwise,

you're going to waste more time dwelling on the time you think you wasted.

And so you're just gonna dig yourself deeper.

Just forward, forward, forward and onward and better.

And have a good wedding, but more importantly, have a good marriage.

If that's what you're going for, a good life.

And for OP, have a good second wedding.

Sick ass second wedding.

Dude, I want to have another one.

It was so fun.

Well, not in that sense.

No, like to you.

But I literally, like, I see why people do vow renewals.

Like, I didn't get it, but now I get it.

I'm like, that was so fun.

I don't want to change my vows, though.

No, like, I want to keep them the exact same.

Well, you just keep updating over time.

Yeah, but they're

really good.

Yeah.

Maybe we'll include a picture of them or something.

Or we'll, I guess they'll be in the wedding video.

We could do a Patreon segment where we read our vows to each other.

No, I don't want to read them again.

I could not stop crying.

That was the one thing about the wedding day.

I took a beta blocker.

Those are magical.

Those are amazing.

I loved the beta blocker.

What do you think it would have been like without it?

Worse.

Crying more.

But like, I just felt like on the brink of tears the whole day.

Like, I was just so emotional.

I was so excited.

I was so like in my feels that I just like, I just couldn't.

I couldn't stop crying.

It's a crazy combination of feelings.

It's such a crazy amount of feelings.

But we'll talk more about our wedding over on Patreon.

I want to.

Yeah.

Not bore people too much.

I do have one little palette cleanser, okay?

This is coming from our slash wedding shaming.

It's titled, I can't believe this guest wore white to my wedding.

Do we have?

We didn't have any, did we?

No.

Did you notice anyone?

We've read so many of them.

I'm saying at ours, did you notice any?

No.

Because remember, we were talking about that?

Not one person in white.

I didn't even think about it the day of.

No, I didn't see that.

We're going to have to look through the photos.

I didn't see anyone in white.

You're going to have to look through photos.

No, I was looking at people.

Oh, you were?

You were scanning?

Yeah, I was looking at people.

Okay.

We were totally fine.

Okay, so that's the title.

I can't believe this guest wore white to my wedding.

Okay.

And they go, but it's okay because he was our ring bearer and wore it very well.

And it's a picture of an all-white dog.

He didn't even wear white.

He is white.

Yeah, he's just bright white fur.

Look at that.

He is white.

Very cheap.

Like ghost.

It does look like ghosts, the dog from Game of Thrones.

That's all I got, friends.

I'm going to give you a break.

That gets a pass.

That definitely gets a pass.

He's a good boy.

You have to spray paint him before the wedding.

Like

that dog spray.

Do the dog spray and like what they can do, make poodles look like tigers.

It's crazy.

But we're headed over to Patreon.

I'm gonna give you a sneak peek of some of the stories we're gonna read.

Am I the asshole for telling people the real reason why I skipped my friend's wedding?

Am I the asshole for not canceling my plans to attend my sister's wedding?

One of my husband's friends made me uncomfortable at our wedding, but it's my own fault.

Am I the asshole for telling my friend that her free wedding is unrealistic?

And last, but probably not least, trigger warning for infertility.

This one is titled, My Fiancé Used My Infertility Story for His Best Man's Wedding Speech.

Yeah, it's going to be a doozy of an episode.

I hope to see you guys over there.

October is going to have some really, really fun bonus content.

Wedding episode, episode, a spooky episode, and then a surprise.

I don't know what the heck it's going to be yet, but very excited to have you all over there.

Thank you so much for being here.

You really allowed us to have our dream wedding, all of your support.

It means the absolute world to us.

And we appreciate you guys.

And I'm really excited for you to see our wedding photos and videos.

I think by this point, we should have a picture up on Instagram.

So, if you want to see the dresses and our amazing wedding, head over there.

Any final, final thoughts?

That was so good.

I'm just like admiring you doing your thing.

Okay.

Yeah.

Okay, cool.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

Until next time, guys.

Until next time.

Bye.

Bye.

Youtine, adjective, used to describe an individual whose spirit is unyielding, unconstrained, one who navigates life on their own terms, effortlessly.

They do not always show up on time, but when they arrive, you notice an individual confident in their contradictions.

They know the rules, but behave as if they do not exist.

Mutine.

The new fragrance by Mew Mew.

Defined by you.

Mutine, adjective.

Used to describe an individual whose spirit is unyielding, unconstrained.

One who navigates life on their own terms, effortlessly.

They do not always show up on time, but when they arrive, you notice an individual confident in their contradictions.

They know the rules, but behave as if they do not exist.

Mutine, the new fragrance by Miu Mew, defined by you.