204: Love It or Leave It..

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Speaker 1 Hi, friends. Welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes.
I'm your host, Morgan.

Speaker 1 And I'm Lauren.

Speaker 2 I'm Justin.

Speaker 1 We remembered to do that. I know.

Speaker 1 That was like a throwback. I'm like, whoa, I'm introducing myself.
Okay. I know.
We might have a lot of new listeners very soon coming in, giving the show a shot.

Speaker 1 Well, also, I think people sometimes just

Speaker 1 can't tell my voice apart from

Speaker 1 everyone else's voice. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, sometimes we all blend together. But here we go.
Valentine's Day was last Friday.

Speaker 1 And there was a lot of drama that came out of it. I think Valentine's Day is,

Speaker 1 it's one of those holidays that can kind of,

Speaker 1 you can either love it or you hate it. And

Speaker 1 some big feelings can come up if you're dating someone and it doesn't go, you know, as you hope. And so today's theme is love it or love through it

Speaker 1 or leave it.

Speaker 2 Isn't it crazy how this whole idea of Valentine's Day became a holiday and now

Speaker 2 brings with it so much pressure, almost like a birthday? Like, oh, you didn't, you didn't get me what I wanted and make me feel special.

Speaker 2 Now there's a day also for that as a couple where there's all this pressure out of nowhere. It's just kind of crazy to think about the concept.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Because shouldn't every day kind of be a little piece of Valentine's Day that you build up the entire year instead of just having like, I mean, it's cool.

Speaker 2 I'm down with Valentine's Day, but it's just kind of like this one spotlighted day where everyone who's loving loves and everyone who's not is just like sad. I remember going to Valentine's Day.

Speaker 2 I'd be, you know, in New York back in the day, and you go and there's balloons and stuff everywhere. And I'm like, this is stupid.
This is dumb.

Speaker 2 And then when you're screwed, no, but then when you're in a relationship, you're like, oh, this is special. What are we going to to go do? We're going to have a really nice date night.

Speaker 2 What are you like, you know, you make it fun.

Speaker 1 I've always been different. Like, and I've talked about this before, I think, even last year on the podcast.
But

Speaker 1 when I was little growing up, I would wake up and my mom would have the entire kitchen decorated. And there was just hearts everywhere.
There was, you know, a nice breakfast.

Speaker 1 Everything was pink and red. I would dress up in pink and red.

Speaker 1 And then in the middle of the day, she would come to my school and put like a huge bouquet of all these fun Valentine's Day things in my locker. And she'd always write your secret admirer.

Speaker 1 So people in my school would be like, who gave that to you? And I'd be like, I don't know. It says secret admirer.
I wonder. Yeah.
But so I don't know.

Speaker 1 I've always like, to me, I've always had such a really wonderful feeling around the holiday because so many of it was like my mom making it just fun, a fun way to like celebrate colors and just get in the groove of things.

Speaker 1 And then also also, like, I've had a lot of really fun Galentine's Days. So, see, that's different.
That's, that's different. And guys don't do that as much.
So, and I really should.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because like, guys should go to the bottom. What would it be called, though?

Speaker 1 Guyantines. Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's just not, you know, it doesn't

Speaker 1 off. It's hard.
Bro and you're like, that's cute. Yeah, Brontine.
Yeah. Galentine's just flows.
Valentine's. Yeah.
But so I, I like all the decorations. I think the decorations make it fun.

Speaker 1 I also do think that it's like more tailored to girls.

Speaker 1 So in terms of like, I think as my boyfriend feels more pressure doing something nice for me on Valentine's Day rather than the pressure that I feel like to do something nice for him, like, you know, I don't know.

Speaker 1 So maybe, maybe that's why you have more of a

Speaker 2 Morgan did give me no flowers.

Speaker 1 No, but I got you. I'd like some flowers sometimes.
I'll get you flowers.

Speaker 1 I didn't, I actually was so busy working. I will get you flowers, but I did get you some really cool

Speaker 1 Apollo mission NASA coins limited edition.

Speaker 1 You did good too.

Speaker 1 But yeah, I think, you know, Valentine's Day can be what you want.

Speaker 1 I think, you know, guys who are in, you know, hetero relationships maybe put a little bit too much pressure on themselves if they're single because the girls do Valentine's Day and everyone needs to celebrate with their friends if they're if they're single because those were some of my best Valentine's Day with the girls.

Speaker 1 Loser.

Speaker 1 But we had a really good one. I'm just kidding.
Sorry. We had a really good one this year.
But these people,

Speaker 1 these people are just going through it in love. And we've got a lot of Valentine's Day stories, but we've also got a lot of just relationship, you know, troubles as well.
So, without further ado,

Speaker 1 shall we? Here we go. Yeah, let's do it.
Let's dive in.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 This is coming from AITAH.

Speaker 1 It is

Speaker 1 six days old now. A little bit of a warm-up for us, okay? Because we have addressed this in a live show before.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 My 26 female dad buys me a Valentine's card every year. My 28 male partner has an issue with it.
We have a five-month-old baby and have been together for 16 months. What are your thoughts?

Speaker 2 When this came up at the live show, I feel like this was also kind of like, oh, you know, let's see what you guys think on this one. And everyone just, like the place just lit up.

Speaker 1 I think he's pathetic.

Speaker 2 It just,

Speaker 2 why are you threatened by someone's dad?

Speaker 1 And it's just so.

Speaker 1 Sweet. Like I just said, my really good memories of Valentine's Day started with my mom when I was growing up.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's not like your dad.

Speaker 2 It's not like her dad's sending her lingerie or something weird. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because then we'd have a whole moment that, but that's kind of the energy that this dude is giving. It's like,

Speaker 2 you're reacting to what?

Speaker 1 I think he's reacting because he's not doing anything. And so the card

Speaker 1 makes him look bad. Yeah.
Step up. Yeah.
You're you're threatened because her dad got her a card. You have a baby together.

Speaker 1 You have a five-month-old baby together, which five-month-old baby takes about nine months, 14 months. They've been together 16 months.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, math is, that's the math. Yeah.
He's got to step it up. You're choosing to be with this person.
Just because you had a baby together didn't mean you needed to stay together.

Speaker 1 You're choosing to be together. Step up.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Well, I know I'm the one that talked about pressure, but I think collectively we should all just raise the bar a bit.

Speaker 1 Can we?

Speaker 2 Just overall in relationships. Can we, please? You know, we saw that TikTok of the five-year-old kid showing up to the girl's adorable and he had his flowers and his little stuffed animal.

Speaker 1 And he walked in and he goes, Happy Valentine's Day.

Speaker 2 I can't remember the girl's name. Hands her the flowers, gives her a hug.
Yeah, Lila backs out, is going to go back home. And he showed up in a full suit.

Speaker 1 A full suit with little sneakers. I mean,

Speaker 1 he was so cute.

Speaker 2 Who knows how much that was, you know, I'm curious how much he, I'm sure it was his idea, but showing up in the suit and everything. But that's a five-year-old.

Speaker 2 There's just such a lack of effort these days. And it's like, show people you love them all the time.
I know. Not just on Valentine's Day.

Speaker 1 I know. And I don't know why.
I thought I had another story where I could have mentioned this, but that might have been on Patreon. But

Speaker 1 I completely agree. Like, I'm so traumatized from the stuff people put up with because of Reddit.
And I'm like, I hear about the nice stuff Brian does for you. And I know what Justin does for me.

Speaker 1 And the bar does not have to be low. Like Justin and I, we went to Amsterdam recently, and I bought this beautiful delft tulip holder.
It's like a flower vase. Oh, I saw that.

Speaker 1 It's really a really interesting shape.

Speaker 1 And on the way back from Amsterdam, we had a crazy red eye. We were just so tired, so out of it.
We didn't sleep on the flight. We go through customs.
I end up

Speaker 1 somehow, Justin lost his passport in like customs as we went back through. I thought we left the gift bag with all the souvenirs on the TSA belt.

Speaker 1 Turns out I reached out to airport security and they were able to track us through security into a lounge to the plane. And we got on the plane with the gift bag.
So

Speaker 1 our gift bag with my flower vase got left on the plane, and Delta never found it. And I had like all these really good stroop waffle cookies and this tulip thing, and I was crushed.

Speaker 1 I go, it's like one thing thing I really wanted from the trip. I was so crushed.

Speaker 2 You even bought flowers for it right when we got home.

Speaker 1 I literally bought flowers. But you never got it back.
We lost it. It's, it was gone.
And Delta lost it. Yeah.
I think someone stole it.

Speaker 1 I think someone like saw this nice gift bag with stroop waffle and a vase and was like, yay, free present.

Speaker 1 I don't think Delta ever got it in their possession. My friend,

Speaker 1 she's on a ski trip and like an airline just lost her luggage and she like had all of her stuff for the ski trip in there. So

Speaker 1 it's, it's heartbreaking. But the other day, Valentine's Day was coming up and he goes, I have something for you.
And I was like, what? Like, okay.

Speaker 1 He's like, do you want it early or do you want it for Valentine's Day? I'm like, give it to me early. I hate waiting.
And I open it and it's the tulip holder. It's the vase.

Speaker 1 He had ordered another one from Holland

Speaker 1 and got the same one that I lost. So sweet.

Speaker 1 That is what everyone deserves. That is love.
Thoughtful.

Speaker 1 It was not like, it's a beautiful gift. It doesn't have to be thousands of dollars.
It's just thinking of something.

Speaker 1 And this is pathetic. Yeah.
He's threatened by his girlfriend's dad getting her a card.

Speaker 1 It's pathetic. It's really pathetic.
And I'm, I like growing up too, I'm like, if I was,

Speaker 1 I'm almost positive that my dad and stepmom would do something too on Valentine's Day for me. It's just usually like I was with my, at my mom's more often.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But no, I think it's really normal for parents to do something sweet for their children on Valentine's Day. It's just a day of love.
Like

Speaker 1 of all different types of love, any type of love. Like it doesn't have to be so.

Speaker 1 And I, and that makes me feel sad that it does, for a lot of people, has like associate like a lot of really negative feelings or frustration.

Speaker 1 Because to me, I just think it should just always be a day of love and like not in any way. No.
Yeah. Love, love for your pet.
Anyway. Yeah,

Speaker 1 just get your little pet a present. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I like that.
It's just cute. It's adorable.
Yeah. People on the on the comments really, I think, are on the same page as us here.
Top comment, your partner is a dipshit. Yeah.
Next one down.

Speaker 1 Tell your partner, Reddit said he's a petty dip shit. Is he jealous of your dad? How ridiculous.

Speaker 1 This next one down. I, a woman, buy my grandmother cards every year.
Fuck me, right?

Speaker 1 Goofy. Yeah.
Goofy guy.

Speaker 1 Well, I think that's the moral of the story is that you should, if you want to show someone love on a day that is about love, it doesn't matter what type of love it is. Partner, grandma, pet,

Speaker 1 whoever,

Speaker 1 friends.

Speaker 1 Just have a good freaking day.

Speaker 1 Have a good day.

Speaker 1 Okay, moving along. Moving along.
This next one.

Speaker 1 Coming from relationship advice, 17 days old, titled Husband, 35 Male, Male, bought me, 31 female, the same earrings I have worn daily for the last two years.

Speaker 1 Husband and I are in our third year together. Got married legally last year.
Our wedding is later in 2025.

Speaker 1 I have often pointed out to him that I love sweet gestures, such as receiving meaningful gifts when the occasion arises, versus a gift card or a generic item.

Speaker 1 I went out of my comfort zone and asked him directly if he could buy me earrings for Valentine's Day this year. He said yes, and even asked for some brands that he could look at.

Speaker 1 I gave him some suggestions and I let him pick for me. He gifts me the earrings, huggies, not a simple stud today.

Speaker 1 And it's the exact same pair I've been wearing for the last two years,

Speaker 1 every single day. I've worn them the day I met him, the day he proposed, the day we got married on paper.

Speaker 1 I couldn't hold back my honest feelings that I felt so invisible to him, that my doubts of him not caring about the little things were just confirmed by this.

Speaker 1 He got upset at me for getting upset at him. Fellow ladies, how would you have felt?

Speaker 2 You're an earrings gal, and you're a fellow lady.

Speaker 1 Hey, girl, here we go. Hey, I'm getting my popcorn.
I would feel the same way.

Speaker 1 I would feel really really bummed about it. I mean, if you are telling, if you're expressing to your partner that this is something that would make you feel really happy and your partner,

Speaker 1 is it the exact same? It's the exact same. It sounds like it's the exact same pair I've been wearing for the last two years every single day.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And it seems like it couldn't just be a coincidence. Which makes me wonder, like, were you so scared of getting something wrong that you got the same ones you know would already work

Speaker 1 like i'm like is he neurodivergent and maybe he was just really nervous and wanted to get something he knew you would like because me like i love something and i buy it in two different colors or five different colors like that's me that's what i was gonna say so i'm like is it that and he does see you he sees you so much he got you the pair that he knew you would love so if you ever lose them yeah yeah yeah

Speaker 1 well it's also interesting too because me and Morgan were just having this conversation about

Speaker 1 not just in like romantic relationships, but in friendships, like we all have different love languages.

Speaker 1 And so we can get really upset with even just our friend because we think, I would do this for them. Why don't they do it for me? Oh my God, we were just talking about this.

Speaker 1 But they don't have the same love language. So they don't like process it the same way.

Speaker 1 So they may be doing something for you because that's their love language and you're not actually even doing it back. for them.
And so then there like becomes like frustration between the friends

Speaker 1 because you guys have different love, love languages and ways of showing things, you know, the way that you care about people in your life. For sure.
And so, yeah, it kind of reminds me of this.

Speaker 1 Is that just what this is? Is this partner just that's just something that never crosses his mind because it's not his love language?

Speaker 1 And then even if it is, though, I mean, like, if that is her love language and it's extremely important to her and that's how she's going to feel seen and loved, she also deserves to have somebody in her life that makes her feel that way.

Speaker 1 So it's like, there needs to be either like a compromise or they should find people that are more compatible that make like that she feels more loved and more seen by.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I think contrary to the other stories, this one is not for me like, oh, it's over.

Speaker 1 This is terrible.

Speaker 2 How could you? It's more just like, maybe this is an eye-opening moment. Maybe this just reveals that, hey, you know,

Speaker 2 you got me the exact same thing. And I'm not really sure if that was 100% intentional.

Speaker 1 We do find out. Okay,

Speaker 1 okay.

Speaker 2 But then also, like, whatever. So we do find out.
But I think in that sense, it can just be a little bit of a wake-up call. Hey, you know, you got me the same thing.

Speaker 2 Maybe just pay attention a little bit more. And I'd obviously like something with a little variety, even though I've worn these every single day, which means she's obviously obsessed with them.

Speaker 1 Or doesn't have a lot of options. That's true.

Speaker 2 But also, like,

Speaker 2 even if I don't have many options and I love some, and I, you know, I, you typically girl. If I'm wearing something every day, yeah, I really like it.

Speaker 2 So, you know, I think it depends, but maybe it's a wago call. Maybe, I don't know.
I'm curious to hear.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 OP does say,

Speaker 1 um, as a girl, if I want an exact replica, I'd buy it myself. Husband had no clue I had these earrings.
It wasn't intentional on his end.

Speaker 1 Which, that to me, then is a little crazy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Two years every day wearing these earrings, the date you met, you, you remember what I was wearing when you met me. The our first date, you remember exactly what I walked into that bar wearing.

Speaker 1 That's impressive.

Speaker 2 It's not dissimilar to what I'm wearing right now.

Speaker 1 I was wearing a lot of, well, I had denim and then a white.

Speaker 1 I had a white off-the-shoulder top

Speaker 1 and I had a jacket. But he like remembers that.
I've never thought to ask ask a guy that I've dated if they remember what I was wearing when they first met me. Oh, well, yeah.

Speaker 2 No, it's just

Speaker 2 because I think the moment she walked through the door, it was like,

Speaker 1 this is it. Yeah.

Speaker 2 No, honestly, kind of the sun was coming in. There was a little bit of that glow.
And it just, I just knew.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's really cute. That's so sweet.

Speaker 1 I don't know where I was going with that because I was really cute.

Speaker 1 But yeah, I think like.

Speaker 2 But you're saying I would recognize you.

Speaker 1 You would. Like, you, you know, like my rings, you know my jewelry, like you just pay attention to me.
Like I think I added a new necklace a couple weeks ago and you're like, oh, that's really pretty.

Speaker 1 Like where'd you get that? Like you notice these things.

Speaker 1 And I don't know if that's just a you thing or if like our listeners out there could maybe chime in on this and be like, no, my partner notices like my earrings or like if I, you know, did my hair a certain way.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But there are people out there that don't know those changes.
Like their partner could chop four inches of hair off

Speaker 1 and they wouldn't notice. well and i've dated both and like it wasn't it wasn't like one was better than the other because they noticed things it was just like one just

Speaker 1 noticed things just all like was just very detail oriented that's the way that his brain worked and then the other one was like showed love in a different way but like didn't notice things like wouldn't notice if i've cut off four inches of my hair yeah so um i don't know it is it is interesting like obviously it's nice

Speaker 1 this is a different situation, though, because this is something where it's like, if somebody is wearing something every single day,

Speaker 1 that's kind of nuts. Like, how?

Speaker 1 How?

Speaker 1 How you like, is

Speaker 1 you have to like try not to notice, like, how? I know.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I, but I've definitely missed things.

Speaker 1 But not for like a two years straight. It would be like someone having their nose pierced and you said you never noticed it.
Well, that's different. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Like, I've missed when you've gotten your hair done and the color is, you know, perfect all the way down. It's like,

Speaker 2 do you notice anything? And, you know, it's like you get in that situation. I've definitely missed that a few times.

Speaker 2 But yeah, where, I mean, but the thing is, too, earrings, like it might just go over a guy's head because like I can see your earrings right now.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 he points to me like he could see my earrings. Well, then he's sad that you can't.
He's like, never mind.

Speaker 2 I'm just like, I am a big fan of earrings and I just think they're really cool and like the different ways people style them.

Speaker 1 That's true. You have complimented my earrings before, but also nothing else.

Speaker 2 I couldn't draw a picture of any earrings that you've really worn. Like, I know simple, basic ones, but any ones that have a specific style, I could not tell you what.

Speaker 1 What about my ones from last year? I know those ones.

Speaker 2 But it's because we made such a point about those, because they're from someone and this and that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think they were from Kira. Yeah.
But it's so pretty. I got so many compliments.
If you're listening, so many people complimented those. I wore them at so many live shows.

Speaker 2 So thank you. But any other earrings either you've worn?

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 2 I mean, well, I probably couldn't recollect.

Speaker 1 And I will give him maybe like a bit more grace. Like, OP does hear reply to someone, and she's like, Thank you for your words.
I know marriage is not about sweating the small stuff.

Speaker 1 In other words, lying, infidelity, abuse. I know earrings can be a silly thing to huff over.
I wear my hair up daily.

Speaker 1 The history has been similar, which is why I asked for huggies specifically from specific stores.

Speaker 1 Huggies are like hoops that really hug your ear. And if you're saying, I want huggies from these specific stores,

Speaker 1 I mean, the odds are like he's going to pick something. I mean, you're really saying, like, here's the narrow path, sir.
Yeah. Stick to it.

Speaker 1 But be original. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But still, you didn't look at her damn ears over the past two years. Like, maybe not.
Maybe not. I'm picture.

Speaker 2 I keep picturing a diaper.

Speaker 1 Me, Tarot. Thank you.
No, the first time you said this story, I was like, I thought this story was going an opposite way.

Speaker 1 Like, I thought she had some weird fetish where she wanted to wear a diaper every single day and she was mad that he didn't notice.

Speaker 1 Yeah, huggies, brand.

Speaker 2 Honey, you've been taking off my diaper for three years. You don't know I wear them.

Speaker 1 Yeah, definitely. I mean, huggies, huggies, earrings.
I did, to be honest, I did have to Google just now what Huggies looked like. Yeah.
It just, it just tripped me up for a second, but we were back.

Speaker 1 We were back right away. It's totally fine.
Yeah. And honestly, this sounds overall like an issue.

Speaker 1 Like OP says here, we usually have good conflict resolution, but when it comes to his lack of romantic effort, never planning dates, no considerate gestures, not getting me a birthday card or gift, etc.

Speaker 1 Okay. Now we've unlocked the real problem.

Speaker 1 That's not okay.

Speaker 1 It is a red flag.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Now we've found it.

Speaker 1 No, no. The response is, quote, it's not natural for me.

Speaker 1 Being considerate, thoughtful, caring is not natural for you.

Speaker 2 It doesn't have to be. It's, it's honestly like, it shouldn't be, right? It should not be like

Speaker 2 natural.

Speaker 1 That's what makes it special.

Speaker 2 It makes you go above and beyond. Yeah, you got out of your way.
That's what makes it so special.

Speaker 2 If it was natural and you were doing it 24-7,

Speaker 2 that's great, but also that's kind of not

Speaker 2 what, that's not real life. Right.
And that would set an unrealistic standard and nothing would be special. That's like waking up every day is your birthday.
It would get really old really fast.

Speaker 1 To not ever get a birthday card from your partner. That's why you would not have gotten to the point of marriage.
No chance. Call me superficial.
Call me

Speaker 1 superficial. That's just like...
A card. Like, if you don't give me a card at like

Speaker 1 and you're my partner,

Speaker 1 uh, no, bye. That absolutely not.
It is crazy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And that's what I'm like, there's different love languages, right? Like, like, gift giving like comes naturally to some people.

Speaker 1 But like, if it is a birthday and it's like a special day for your partner and you know your partner like wants to have like feel this romance and you're like, I just can't do it for you.

Speaker 1 It's unnatural for me. It's unnatural.
Then, Then, then you should just no, no, no, no, no, no. You know, it's unnatural for me, giving blowjobs.
You know what I still do? Give blowjobs.

Speaker 1 I do for you, babe. And that's the thing with love languages.
My love language, I don't like acts of service. I know Justin does.
Yeah. Or like X, Y, Z.

Speaker 1 Like Justin's love language might not be gift giving, but he knows I love getting gifts.

Speaker 1 So that's what he does. Like at a certain point, when you love someone, you recognize what makes them happy and you do it because making them happy makes you happy.
It might not be natural to you.

Speaker 1 Right. That's what a relationship is.
It's making each other happy.

Speaker 1 And when you're in a romantic relationship like that, like you got to make those compromises or you got to find different partners because

Speaker 2 it's because there will be someone out there.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Good matches.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't know who would be down to not even get a birthday card from their partner on their birthday, but I'm sure that there's people out there that are down for that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, some people would not care. I know there's some

Speaker 1 people out there that would be like, Yeah, it's a card, I'm gonna throw it away, anyways. Whatever.
I'd rather have a rock. Like, I love a rock, yeah.

Speaker 1 But I'm like, do do something nice for your partner on a birthday

Speaker 1 gesture, yeah. Whether it's like taking them out, or a card, or balloons, or like a nice present, or just like a birthday cake or whatever it is.
Like you got to do something for your partner.

Speaker 1 Well, guys, we do have a little bit of an update in the comments. Ooh.

Speaker 1 OP here appreciate all the input.

Speaker 1 We've moved past it and after acknowledging his blip, he was able to exchange them for a different pair and then also got me another set of earrings as an added apology.

Speaker 1 While this experience sucked in the moment, as many pointed out, marriage and commitment is more than unintended hurt feelings.

Speaker 2 Yeah. So a good little wake-up call, and hopefully, now the trend and the pattern will get better.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So we're going to keep loving this one.
Okay. We're not leaving it.
We're not leaving it.

Speaker 1 But for those out there that are not married yet and you're just dating, and if your person is not getting you a card on your birthday or doing something small, little,

Speaker 1 whatever it is to make you feel special and loved, leave them. It doesn't take much.

Speaker 1 It really doesn't. Don't let the bar be in hell for you.
Like, you deserve it.

Speaker 1 Like, you deserve to find your person who will pick you flowers and come home with like a little donut or a card or whatever makes you happy. Like, your person is out there.

Speaker 1 Don't waste your time on someone who's not even going to realize how special you are and show it to you by the ways that you feel loved.

Speaker 1 I don't know if that makes sense, but we're going to, we're going to, we're going to go to the next one. Okay, okay.
I think it was good. Okay, I need more wine.

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Speaker 1 Don't miss out on this opportunity to invest in your health without overspending. This next one is coming from relationship advice.
It is 23 hours old.

Speaker 1 It is titled, How do I, 32 female, forgive my husband, 42 male, for drinking to excess on Valentine's Day and ruining our first night ever leaving our baby with a sitter. Ooh.

Speaker 2 Ouch. Really took advantage.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 My favorite band is on tour and scheduled a show for Valentine's Day in a city near us. When this was announced several months ago, I excitedly suggested that we get tickets.

Speaker 1 We still had a lot of time to find a sitter that we liked and get more comfortable leaving our baby with them. Husband agreed and bought the tickets.
Excitement.

Speaker 1 As the date drew closer, I couldn't stop talking about how much this night would mean to me.

Speaker 1 This was going to be a night for us to have fun, reconnect after months of talking about nothing else other than our baby, feel like the old us for just a few hours.

Speaker 1 Being on Valentine's Day was a secondary consideration, but of course, that date holds a special meaning on top of everything else. We found a sitter we loved.
This is a huge deal.

Speaker 1 A night out alone to see my all-time favorite musicians. Day of the show, husband and I both have off work and baby is at daycare.
Husband makes us mimosas and breakfast. Sweet start to the day.

Speaker 1 Husband continues to drink after mimosas. Beer after beer after beer.
More beer on the train of the show. More beer at dinner down the street from the venue.

Speaker 1 This is when I finally noticed that he isn't just excited like I am, but drunk. He He asked me a question: what time does the show start again? And I answer.

Speaker 1 60 seconds later, he asked me the same question, forgetting that we had just had the same conversation.

Speaker 1 This goes on through dinner over and over again.

Speaker 1 Walk into the venue, I ask if he is okay and if he will make it through the show. Mistake.
He snaps. Accuses me of doing drugs at some point in the evening, despite being with him the entire time.

Speaker 1 Projection. Screaming at me on the street that he can't believe I do something like that.
I'm floored.

Speaker 1 I have no idea how to respond to something so ridiculous, but he is so drunk he isn't listening to anything I'm saying. Oh, God.
I try my best to remain calm, hoping we can save the night.

Speaker 1 We get inside the venue. He is screaming at me, quote, I can't believe you did cocaine, and drawing looks from everyone around us.

Speaker 1 I'm pleading with him to understand why that is such a wild thing to say. He won't listen.
He storms out and says he's going home.

Speaker 1 I'm in an impossible situation because I can't let him go home and be the only adult to relieve the babysitter and be home alone with our baby.

Speaker 1 So I have to follow him, pleading the whole time, begging him. He won't listen.
I end up getting us an Uber because he can't figure out how to do it on his own. Uber ride home.

Speaker 1 He tells me he is going to call my mother and tell her I did drugs. I'm floored.
My mother would be wildly confused and worried if he were to do this. So I call her and explain what is going on.

Speaker 1 She hears how badly my husband is slurring. I don't think she will ever look at him the same again.

Speaker 1 We get home and I try to sleep on the couch. He doubles down and calls me a terrible mother

Speaker 1 right before going into the bedroom. No, no, no, no, no.
I couldn't even look at him today, the next day, and I've said not a word to him in 15 hours. I'm disgusted.

Speaker 1 I don't know what to do or how to address this. I don't know how to forgive him.
My family certainly won't. I don't know whether to address the drinking or the drug accusations or

Speaker 1 what. I need some advice.
Thank you for reading.

Speaker 2 Wow. This is bigger than

Speaker 2 advice.

Speaker 2 Way bigger.

Speaker 1 I had so many thoughts along the way, and now I'm just kind of speechless. Oops.

Speaker 2 I mean, it's just really the problem is not the drug accusation. It is the drinking because I feel like that's wrapped under, it's all wrapped up in the same bundle.

Speaker 1 But it makes you wonder if he's doing drugs because why, where would he come up with that? That's what I'm saying. Where does that come from?

Speaker 1 I think you were spot on the money when you said projection. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because where would he get that? It's almost like an intrusive thought where it's like, I hope she doesn't find out I did cocaine in the bathroom.

Speaker 1 I should accuse her of doing cocaine in the bathroom. She'll never guess guess it was me.
Like, it feels like a drunken, yeah, like

Speaker 1 reasoned about way of like getting the heat off of you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 When you didn't even need to, like, cause it, it is interesting because I did, um, I can't remember if it was like a podcast or article I listened to a long time ago where they were talking about how, yes, sometimes and a lot of times, drunk words are sober thoughts, but also once a person hits the point of blackout, it's actually just like

Speaker 1 can be a random like accumulation of words. It's really like it's nonsensical.

Speaker 1 And so that's why I'm like, I don't know, maybe, maybe it was absolutely out of nowhere, just like a random dream that you don't have control of.

Speaker 1 But it does make you like think it feels like projection and it feels like that would make sense. And it's also just, it's so confusing.
Like, is this something he's done before? Is a pattern?

Speaker 1 I'm, I'm, is this out of absolutely nowhere? Is this a one-time, like a one-time thing? Or right, right.

Speaker 2 I mean, I've unfortunately had a bit of experience with this where

Speaker 2 I've had questions or stories told to me over and over and over again. And I'm just like,

Speaker 2 you literally just told me this. And you just don't know what to do.

Speaker 1 Well, no, it's there's a number of things. Oh, it's happening.
And it's just like,

Speaker 2 I don't know what to do in those moments because I almost feel like I've become,

Speaker 2 I've been put in the position where I then have to babysit whoever's gotten to that point.

Speaker 2 And you can't do anything wrong or call them out or do anything until the next morning and then have a conversation and be like, hey, this is,

Speaker 2 this is what it was like. Cause if you try and address anything with someone who's in that state

Speaker 2 in that moment, it just blows up. And it's like,

Speaker 2 I've had those awkward conversations, but this one, it isn't just like,

Speaker 2 hey, you got drunk and ruined the night. You took it a step further.

Speaker 1 He called her a bad mom. That's like, that's so messed up because it was a newborn.
That was the first time, right? First time. Oh, God, that's brutal.

Speaker 1 Which, like, the very first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you get told you're a bad mom. That's so messed up.

Speaker 2 It just drives me nuts too. Cause I knew from the second you said mimosas, I'm like, I know where this is headed because I've just seen it so many times and just drink after drink.

Speaker 2 And it's like, do you not have any concept of like what the purpose of this was? Do you not understand?

Speaker 2 I get you. You're feeling all this free.
You're like a kid who just got to college and you don't know what alcohol is.

Speaker 1 I mean, you're acting like ridiculous. And it's hard because, like, I think we've all had those experiences where you sometimes don't realize like.

Speaker 1 Alcohol, one, like, if you're on an empty stomach, it hits you different. If you're at altitude, it hits you different.
If you, you know, have a bunch of mixes, it hits you different.

Speaker 1 Like, alcohol is honestly one of the most dangerous things. Like, it's, it's crazy that alcohol is legal while, you know, other things aren't.

Speaker 1 Like, weed now is more so widespread legal, but like, still not.

Speaker 1 It's crazy. So for me, I'm like, this is why we have so many, you know, DUIs.
It's like people think that alcohol gives them this like superhero cape and they say shit and they do shit.

Speaker 1 And we don't know our limits as well as maybe some other things. So it's like, even if he was like, I'm just going to have a mosa and then two more beers.
Like, I don't think he went into this.

Speaker 1 I'm going to sabotage this. I'm going to get fucked up because she told him again and again, this is my favorite musician.
I'm so excited. I'm this.
I'm that. But the reality is he did fuck up.

Speaker 1 He did say these terrible things. So, how do you move forward with this? You say, hey, I don't want to be around you if you're going to drink like that ever again.
Like, really, like you cannot drink.

Speaker 1 It was clear. You couldn't handle your alcohol, you know, for whatever reason.
That was unacceptable. And you need to make it up to me.
Like, this is really bad.

Speaker 1 I don't know, you know, if you need to start doing AA, I don't know what it is, but like, we should definitely pursue some counseling.

Speaker 1 Like, there's got to be a way to mend this because otherwise you keep working and living and date, you know, being with this person, married to this person, and you just, the resentment just falls.

Speaker 1 Well, it's going to happen again.

Speaker 1 Maybe.

Speaker 2 Like, well, it's like it's, it's happened once. So it's like the next opportunity would be very telling.

Speaker 1 I think, yeah. I think if, well, and like, again, like alcoholism is a disease.
Like if he is saying, I'm going to stop drinking, I'm not going to do this again.

Speaker 1 And then does it, then I think you have a clearer answer that like, no, he truly has a problem with alcohol. I do think that you make a good point though, Morgan.
It's like

Speaker 1 tolerance with alcohol is always, it varies so often because there are times where I can have a certain amount of drinks and I feel so sober.

Speaker 1 And then the other time I have the same amount of drinks and I feel so drunk. So it's, it's really weird.
It depends on so many different factors. And that's why alcohol, you have to be more careful.

Speaker 1 And so in this situation, that's why I'm curious. Is this a theme of him?

Speaker 1 And it's not, it doesn't make it okay what happened, but I'm just wondering if it's like, did his tolerance change because he was with his baby all the time?

Speaker 1 He wasn't drinking and he thought he could still drink this amount, but he couldn't. And then he just, you know, just spiraled out of control.
Like, that's why I'm wondering what we're dealing with.

Speaker 1 Yeah. We do have some comments from OP.
Okay.

Speaker 1 So someone here goes, you're asking the wrong question. It's not how do you forgive him? It's how does he repair the trust that he damaged? Yeah.
I need info. How was he acting this morning?

Speaker 1 Is drinking something he does a lot? Has something like this happened before? I'm tempted to chalk this up to baby stress, but I have no idea what your relationship is like.

Speaker 1 And OP replies, thank you for this. This morning he was wildly hungover, and I caught him in tears at one point, but ignored it because I couldn't even look at him.

Speaker 1 He drinks often, but does not get mean or throw around wild accusations as he did last night.

Speaker 1 This was a new and scary side, but he does drink often, and I have brought up my concern about it just for his physical and mental health. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And someone else goes, Yeah, in that case, this would be an ultimatum time. This is a time he literally could have harmed your family.

Speaker 1 I'm not saying he would, but I'm saying that being unpredictable is dangerous. He clearly has no judgment in that situation.
Therapy, and he stops drinking, or you leave.

Speaker 1 And OP replies, thank you for this. I was thinking this, but was not brave enough to admit it to myself.

Speaker 1 I think it's this comment. I was going to say something, but maybe I'll read this one first because I'm just seeing a line and it might kind of pick up where I want to go.

Speaker 1 It goes, it's also pretty interesting that he held everything together all day and he didn't fall apart until just before the concert, the one thing you had really been looking forward to.

Speaker 1 And then he decided he had to leave, which forced you to leave as well. I agree that he is definitely an alcoholic, but I have to wonder if there was some maliciousness behind this behavior.

Speaker 1 Anger at you, distaste for the band, irritation at your job. I don't know.
It just feels like he really wanted to ruin your night.

Speaker 1 I will say, like, I think it, I don't know if it's necessarily interesting that he held it together all day. Like, that's kind of how alcohol works.
It keeps compounding. Right.

Speaker 1 And then you just all of a sudden. That's what I was thinking too.
I'm like, I don't know if it was malicious on right before the concert. I don't think it.

Speaker 1 I don't think someone that like blacked out could plan that

Speaker 1 time. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I think if he was like, because we hear this, like, oh, narcissist will ruin big things for you, and whether it's your birthday, blah, like, whatever.

Speaker 1 Like, it seemed like he was excited for it too. He got up and made them breakfast almost.
It's like he started off on a good foot. Because it's a night off, too.
For both of you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm not getting the malicious vibe from this, but no.

Speaker 1 My thing, I'm like, and I'm here is like the total

Speaker 1 devil's advocate, what if scenario.

Speaker 1 It's Valentine's Day.

Speaker 1 They went out to a nice restaurant or a bar. They're ordering drinks.
I'm wondering if he got roofied.

Speaker 1 That crossed my mind too. I'm like, if this is out of behavior for him, like, oh, he drinks.
Like, my sister-in-law could say the same about my brother. Yeah, Matt loves a whiskey.

Speaker 1 Matt is, he collects whiskey. Matt likes to have a beverage here and there.
Justin likes his mezcal. I like wine.
You like wine. But that doesn't necessarily

Speaker 1 mean we're going to do this.

Speaker 1 Like, I'm genuinely wondering if something got slipped in his drink because this is so out out of character and for him to come up with this wild accusation of drug use right it's very

Speaker 1 it's very like it's like mind altered just flip and that's what roof like when i've been roofied like it's it it's like that yeah you like for me i've had three roofied experiences and they've all been very different

Speaker 1 we've had the same number three yeah yeah the first time i was at um i was in college and i went to a party and like someone handed me this beer. And I remember I was stone cold sober.

Speaker 1 And they were like, Here, have this beer. And I was like, I don't drink beer.
I don't drink beer. They're like, No, no, it's really, it's really good.
You should have this beer.

Speaker 1 And I remembered like taking a couple of sips and like shutting it down. Next thing I know, I'm waking up the next morning.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I, my friends tell me, they're like, you slipped on ice on the street and you just laid there. You didn't get up.

Speaker 2 I mean, I think the common thought is, well, guys, don't get roofied.

Speaker 1 In an ideal world.

Speaker 2 But the situation is a lot of times you're collateral damage. You are.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Because I would go up to these bars and, you know, just to make it easy, four tequila sodas, whatever it is, just to everyone got the same thing. And I'd grab all four.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Walk them back to the table. And I guess it was a little bit of Russian roulette that we'd all play unknowingly.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And then I would draw the unlucky glass.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And you guys have seen me in that position two or three times now.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's tough.
I was, I was there for one of them. Yeah.
He started like projectile vomiting at your house. Oh, I thought you were just sick.

Speaker 1 You think you got you think someone put something in your house?

Speaker 2 He was out of nowhere. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he was sober. And then all of a sudden, it just like hit him and just bam.

Speaker 2 Because I had only had that one or two drinks that night.

Speaker 1 Where were we before that? We were at a venue.

Speaker 1 Was that a restaurant in Santa Monica? Interesting. Yeah, because I dated somebody who was roofied and he was, again, buying drinks for girls and

Speaker 1 like the craziest stuff. He like thought, he thought his dog was stolen.
Like he broke his own door down. It was like, it was so bad.
And then he like, thankfully,

Speaker 1 unthankfully and thankfully, he ended up like getting arrested, but he was hurt. So he was in the hospital and they did his blood work and saw that somebody had ruffies in his blood.
So it went, yeah.

Speaker 1 And that's so unlike him. He would never bang down a door kicking in someone else's door because he thought his dog was getting stolen.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Like it, yeah.

Speaker 1 But OP, like, looking at the comments again, like,

Speaker 1 maybe that's just, you know, a hunch, but like, maybe this person does have an alcohol problem. We're not sure.

Speaker 1 But OP does go on to say, like, he does abuse alcohol often, but he has never gotten mean or thrown around accusations before.

Speaker 1 He would say he doesn't have a problem because it doesn't affect his career or day-to-day life, but he does drink quite often. We've been together seven years, married for three.

Speaker 1 He drinks to excess often. He would say he doesn't have a problem.
He exercises, runs races, walks the dogs, helps with the baby, et cetera. But drinking is a big part of his downtime.

Speaker 1 Actually, it is the main part of any downtime he has.

Speaker 1 So that

Speaker 1 you could probably chalk that into the box of alcoholism.

Speaker 1 So I don't know. I think like she's really just got to feel this one out.
And, you know, maybe he's to a point now where. he can't handle alcohol and he should cut it out.

Speaker 1 Obviously, what happened is not okay. And if he's unwilling to make changes, then

Speaker 1 it might be time to move, move past, move on.

Speaker 1 But I really hope we get an update from OP.

Speaker 1 I think just, you know, a lot of people question their relationship with alcohol, and it might be helpful for other people out there to get an update on this one. But moving along, moving along.

Speaker 1 Okay, this next one I have not read. I'm just going based off the title because it threw me for a loop.
Okay. It's coming from relationship advice.

Speaker 1 Three days old, my 27 female husband, 28 male, secretly recorded us and sent it to my ex.

Speaker 1 I just found out my husband, 28 male of two years, secretly recorded us during sex and I'm freaking out. He sent it to my ex that he's always been openly jealous of.

Speaker 1 I knew he could go a little over the top sometimes, but this is honestly making me insane. I'm not sure what to do.
I'm not sure what to say.

Speaker 1 I found out from logging into his Instagram and seeing their DMs. My ex was angry in the text, but blocked my husband right after confronting him.
This exchange was around May of last year.

Speaker 1 I'm really scared and I'm panicking. What do I say to my husband? I know I need to confront him, but I'm just so scared.
I can't believe he'd record us without me even realizing.

Speaker 1 What if he has more in his gallery? I'm so worried. I'm so scared.
I don't know what to do.

Speaker 1 That's

Speaker 1 it's over. Divorce.
Yeah. Divorce.
Divorce. Divorce.
Divorce. Yeah.
I would literally have lawyers confiscate all of his stuff and try to get all of those deleted because that is, that's terrifying.

Speaker 1 It's so terrifying. I just want to,

Speaker 1 I just don't know. Like, I want to just electrocute him with my static electricity because

Speaker 1 that is disgusting behavior. It's horrific.
It's so not okay. And the fact he sent it to her ex

Speaker 1 truefold.

Speaker 1 Do you want the ex?

Speaker 1 Like, where in his

Speaker 2 key sized brain?

Speaker 1 That's so messed up. And then, and then that, and that video, the ex may send that to probably all of

Speaker 1 yeah, you can never track it. Yeah.
And that, and like, oh, that just, it's so violating. That is so violating.
It's so not okay. I just, this one's done.
That's just so disturbing.

Speaker 1 He's, yeah, there's no coming back from that.

Speaker 2 I mean, it's just crazy. What are you trying to prove?

Speaker 1 That is the most insecure, toxic, so toxic, predatory behavior.

Speaker 1 Recording someone without their consent,

Speaker 1 sending it, which could be, I'm like, is that prosecutable by like revenge porn? Because I would, I like, hope it can be classified like something like that.

Speaker 1 You could definitely go after him for dealing with it. He needs to be in trouble for that.
It's not okay.

Speaker 1 And the fact they're married, like, this is a person you're supposed to trust and is supposed to love you.

Speaker 2 Why are you still?

Speaker 1 Why are you still threatened by the acts if you're married? You got her. She's yours.
You guys are together. You won.
Air quotes won.

Speaker 1 And I feel so bad because, like, she's here again saying, I'm so scared. I'm so scared.
I'm so scared. Like, yeah.
you, I, I, I fully, I would be scared too.

Speaker 2 I'd be looking for the camera.

Speaker 1 And you, that's you can't.

Speaker 1 You can't. I think a lot of times with people like this, you can't confront them.
You just need to pack your shit. Yeah.
No, he's disturbing. Like, there's some

Speaker 1 absolutely wrong. Absolutely wrong.
I, I totally agree.

Speaker 1 That's why I'm like, instead of like taking all of the devices and trying to like delete it all myself, I would be like, I'm going to get a lawyer involved. So, like,

Speaker 1 oh, I don't know how that works, but I hope there's justice because that is so messed up.

Speaker 1 Top comment on this one: this is abuse and also illegal. I could never trust my husband again if he did that to me.
This is grounds for divorce.

Speaker 2 Well, and it's not just the fact that it was recording, right?

Speaker 1 That would put you there regardless.

Speaker 2 It's then, okay, you then took it and sent it. There's, there's no

Speaker 1 sent it on Instagram. You doubled down.

Speaker 1 You didn't even.

Speaker 2 It's, oh my God, it's just so crazy. I can't, I can't process the fact that it was this first crazy step.

Speaker 1 And then, I don't know, man.

Speaker 2 Come on. This is like the two-way mirror thing in hotels.
I always have to go up in my flashlight and check the goddamn mirrors and look for cameras and smoke detectors. No, lately.
That shit.

Speaker 2 I loved the world before little tiny cameras because, like, yeah, it's great. We can have it on our phone.

Speaker 1 It's like, oh my God, look at that.

Speaker 1 You got it but there is something awesome especially about being like a teenager tepeing people's houses and things when there wasn't cameras every single little place and the size of like a grain of rice i think that's what gets scary and like you hear about this with like airbnbs where like you see like a little like usb plug on the wall and it's actually a camera Well, for Alejandra's birthday when we were in Aspen, I'm like, we're all sitting in the living room, like in a circle, just talking about random things, but like we're getting like deep with each other.

Speaker 1 We're like sharing like personal things.

Speaker 1 And there's a camera that's just like right at us that's on.

Speaker 1 And I'm like,

Speaker 1 like, I'm sure they're just trying to make sure there's no like damages because the camera was like big where it's not like a skill.

Speaker 1 But like, but I'm like, it makes me feel uncomfortable knowing that they have this like footage of us like sharing like personal stories with each other.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's really the age of like people.
I'm like, I think people now feel more entitled to record you. Yeah.
And it's just they do.

Speaker 1 I know when I watch TikTok sometimes, because sometimes I see something kind of funny and I want to like take a picture of it. And I'm way too nervous to take a photo of it.

Speaker 1 I don't want anyone to see that I'm taking a photo of something that I found funny, like a sign or something. And

Speaker 1 other people I see on TikTok are just like. in each other's face recording each other.
And I'm like, I don't know how you guys do that. Like I'm they're brazen.

Speaker 1 I'm like, I'm too nervous to take a picture of a funny sign that someone probably wants me to to take a picture of, but I'm like, I don't want to.

Speaker 2 You just got to be careful. And it's scary that it can happen with someone that close.
Yeah. That should have your ultimate trust.
So really, there's one answer.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's without doubt.
It's a goodbye. It's a goodbye.
And I don't think there's any devil's advocating on this one. There's no fucking way.
What he did is extremely violating, illegal, disgusting.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But.
Of course, someone on Reddit will still, you know, try. Okay.
Let's hear it. Someone goes, everybody's jumping on the your husband is an evil man bandwagon.

Speaker 1 But I have to ask you, do you make your husband feel less than your ass? Shut the fuck up. Do you talk about him like he was so wonderful? Do you compare them?

Speaker 1 Maybe he doesn't feel like he measures up. Don't blow up your marriage yet.
Shut up. Lots of advice from people not married.
Oh, like, fair. Ask him why he felt he needed to do that.

Speaker 1 And I don't mean yelling, but an actual question. Find out why before you jump.
Absolutely not.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry. That is,

Speaker 1 if that was a thing, that doesn't matter. That doesn't mean that you get to do what he did.
That's not okay.

Speaker 2 What even do you think the why would be?

Speaker 1 Like, yeah.

Speaker 2 What reasonable why could there even possibly ever be? Oh, yeah, that makes sense. Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay. Never mind.
I'm sorry that I said my ex did that for me one time and I talked about a present he got maybe twice.

Speaker 1 like yeah what it doesn't I don't care if she said my ex is the best person I've ever met I wish him so well blah blah blah blah blah I don't care you don't record someone no and you being intimate and then send it off into the internet into the void and then send it to someone like what I don't care if she literally talked about it like the intimacy that she had with her ex every single day.

Speaker 1 That would make her shitty, yes, but that does not mean that you can do something like that to a person. He could have left, he could have broken up with her, he could have got divorced.

Speaker 1 There's no, you don't need to be with someone. No excuse for this behavior is zero.
And you guys know, I love to like poke holes in things, ask so many questions, try to understand.

Speaker 1 We're curious, guys. Yeah, we're very curious.
I just, even if I already am like, it's an automatic no, I like to ask questions anyway, just out of curiosity. But with this one, I'm like,

Speaker 1 no.

Speaker 2 This is like a caveman got a hold of some technology.

Speaker 1 Like, rock hard. Ooh, camera.
Ooh, record. Ooh, jealous.
Ooh, prove point.

Speaker 2 Like, literally, it's so stupid.

Speaker 1 It's this man.

Speaker 2 Like, I'm going to prove I'm the alpha.

Speaker 2 It's crazy.

Speaker 1 He's genuinely unhinged.

Speaker 1 O.P. replies to that.

Speaker 1 And O.P. says, Fuck you.
The thing is, I never talk about my ex. Maybe a bit when we first dated, but never when we got married two years ago.
I'm really not sure what caused this.

Speaker 1 Maybe they have some beef between them. I don't know.
But other than that, I'm not sure. But thank you for suggesting.
I think before I do,

Speaker 1 someone responds back to her and goes, This is a terrible take. Don't listen to this person.
Yeah. Yeah.
There is nothing you could do to cause or deserve this abuse.

Speaker 1 Nope.

Speaker 1 Hell no. Hell to the no.
O.P. does have some other comments here.
Exploring my legal options sounds like a good plan.

Speaker 1 I'll need to talk to my parents first, but knowing them, it'll be hell let loose if they find out. Do I risk that or do I handle it on my own first?

Speaker 1 What does she mean by that? I don't know. Just like maybe trying to, you know, sort it before.
No, I mean, what is like, what will her parents do? Kill him.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 I mean, not actually, but like,

Speaker 1 I don't know. There's another couple of comments.
Yes, I kept a few screenshots. Smart.

Speaker 1 So wild.

Speaker 2 You got to remember that in the hardest times these days.

Speaker 2 You got to document.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You have to.

Speaker 2 You have to, no matter how emotional you are.

Speaker 1 So don't you hate when you watch a movie where they just like throw the phone in the water? Yeah. Because they're pissed.
And I'm like, no, keep the evidence.

Speaker 1 That's so wild.

Speaker 1 Someone goes, would there be any repercussions for logging into his Instagram? Breach of privacy or whatnot?

Speaker 1 Obviously, a way smaller scale, but you don't want to give them anything to use against you in court. Maybe your ex showed it to you, wink, wink.

Speaker 1 And OP goes, I'm guessing there won't be any repercussions. He asked me to log into his Instagram to change his settings since he didn't know how to.

Speaker 1 I was looking at his DMs just to check how his sisters are doing since I haven't seen them in a while. I came across the DM with my ex completely by accident.

Speaker 1 Before I speak to a lawyer, would this actually be an issue?

Speaker 1 Something to take up with a lawyer. Your lawyer will tell you.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I like

Speaker 1 looking at the DMs to see how his sisters are doing. Sure.

Speaker 1 Be honest.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 2 regardless if that was wrong or not.

Speaker 1 Oh, I don't care.

Speaker 2 Thank God you did it because you found this. I don't, and I don't.

Speaker 1 Imagine if you hadn't. I don't find it to be wrong, specifically when he literally said go into my Instagram.

Speaker 1 Like if you're gonna say that, then you have to accept that they might see something on your Instagram. So I'm not like at all judging or anything.
I was just, yeah, I'm just saying like

Speaker 1 we all like to kind of like take a little peep. Yeah.
If it's right in front of you. Yeah, sure.

Speaker 1 What's he up to? Who's he talking to? You know, like, I don't imagine like somebody just being like, I'm going to look at the DMs of like his two sisters.

Speaker 1 I feel like it's probably just kind of like, oh, what are, what are the DMs looking like? Not because she thought that he was doing anything, but just out of pure curiosity. I've honestly, I can

Speaker 1 swear up on a Bible, whatever. I've never looked at Justin's Instagram DMs.

Speaker 1 I don't think I've looked at Brian's, but I did look at his. Oh, no, no, no, I did.
I did look at his DMs one time when he gave me his phone.

Speaker 2 It's all THT fam on there. And then the

Speaker 2 ones that are hidden.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Hidden.

Speaker 2 They're all these crazy wild group chats of like links to porn stories.

Speaker 1 Okay, everyone. I keep getting so many of those too.
It's constant. I know.
That's all it is.

Speaker 2 It's just like thousands.

Speaker 1 Ma'am, I'm not your target audience. No.

Speaker 2 And then I got obviously the one DM from the.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, that one. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What one?

Speaker 2 From the show. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That was.

Speaker 1 actually

Speaker 1 insane. Have we talked about that on the

Speaker 1 but outside of that?

Speaker 2 Nothing exciting.

Speaker 1 That was the most deranged DM someone could have sent you.

Speaker 1 We should probably tell the people now just because we've teased it a little bit.

Speaker 1 We were at a live show. And when we have these live shows, like we're typically on a stage or a little raised platform, and we have bright lights on us.

Speaker 1 Like you cannot, you can't really see anyone, especially if you're on a stage because like it's just lights. Like it's blinding.
And someone sent Justin a DM and was like, I saw you looking at me.

Speaker 1 Like, it's like, ma'am, he can't see you. It's just the craziest thing.
It's like, you're literally here for Morgan's show,

Speaker 1 and then you're going to say that to her fiancé. That's pretty wild.
It's like, hey, people are shooting the shot, you know? Yeah.

Speaker 1 She wants

Speaker 1 to be the new host.

Speaker 1 That's not how worse. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Come out of the picture.

Speaker 1 Still Morgan's show, but she doesn't know that. The show would go on.
Yeah. Whoa.

Speaker 1 Whoa.

Speaker 1 Oh, wait. I should also clarify, too.

Speaker 1 Brian has told me that I can look at his DMs and phone

Speaker 1 anytime I ever want. And I've just like never taken him up on that because

Speaker 1 I didn't care to. That's the right move.
But I like, I had his phone and we were in Hawaii and I was in the back of a car and there was these floaties and they were like stuffing me in the back.

Speaker 1 And he like asked me to hold his phone. And so I was like cut off from them and I'm just bored.
And I just opened his phone. I was like,

Speaker 1 something to do? Yeah, just, just peeped. It was nothing interesting.

Speaker 1 A little peep.

Speaker 1 Little peep. Just like Pokemon and stuff.

Speaker 1 I know it's an issue. I need to take him to a Pokemon.
Pokemon Go is okay. It's just a lot.
He's just like. He's just people moving.
It's just, I know, but he's just like addicted.

Speaker 1 He needs to tone it down a little bit.

Speaker 1 Well, this next person.

Speaker 1 Definitely needs to tone it down

Speaker 1 or just never ever do this again.

Speaker 1 I'm excited for your thoughts. Okay.

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Speaker 1 That's audible.com/slash T-H-T.

Speaker 1 This is coming from A-I-T-A-H,

Speaker 1 22 hours old.

Speaker 1 Am I the asshole for wanting to divorce my husband because he added pea to my food? Oh, fuck that.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 It's going to be one of those episodes.

Speaker 1 My wine is looking a little yellow. Oh, God.

Speaker 1 Wasn't it?

Speaker 1 Okay, so I don't know if I'm losing it or what, but I, 32 female, have been married to my husband, 36 male, for four years. And I don't know who the fuck I married anymore.

Speaker 1 So he's always had this weird fetish he told me about where he wanted to pee on my face during sex. And I was like, no, just no.

Speaker 1 Never been into that. He asked a few times.
I always shut it down, but he never pushed it. So I thought that was the end of it.
I was wrong. A few months ago, I started noticing my food tasting weird.

Speaker 1 Not like bad, but like rotten, just off. Like my overnight oats, my yogurt bowls, sometimes my brewed coffee.
I thought maybe the fridge was fucking up, but everything else was fine.

Speaker 1 I threw out so much thinking it was spoiled, but then it kept happening. But here's the thing.
I never got sick. No stomach aches, no nothing.

Speaker 1 So I started thinking maybe he was like poisoning me slowly. I don't know.
Trying to drug me or something?

Speaker 1 But again, it wasn't even making me sick. So it made no sense.
I was just stressed. Also, like, why would he drug me? He's always loving.
So it wasn't making sense.

Speaker 1 I told my friend about it and she was like, You need to put a camera on your fridge just in case, because it's just him and I living alone. Only other person coming over is our moms sometimes.

Speaker 1 So I did put the camera because I was losing my brain. Got a tiny one from Amazon, set it up, and waited.
The tiny cameras.

Speaker 1 This man,

Speaker 1 my

Speaker 1 husband,

Speaker 1 peeing in my overnight oats and my brewed coffee, took the lid off, peed, put the lid back on, shook it, put it back in the fridge like nothing happened. That's so disturbing.

Speaker 1 I thought I was going to throw up right there.

Speaker 1 I lost it. I went full psycho.
I broke his PS5, his TV. I threw his clothes outside in the snow, messed up his shoes, everything.

Speaker 1 He came home and I just screamed at him. He started crying, begging, saying that it was his fetish and he thought it was the only way to do it without me knowing.
Like, what the fuck? Jesus Christ.

Speaker 1 Like, does he think it makes it better? No, yeah.

Speaker 1 He said he will go to therapy.

Speaker 1 We can put cameras all over the house. He will never do it again.
Was saying we took vows and we have to work through this.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, great. I saw these people on TikTok advice asking on Reddit.
So here I am needing that outside perspective. I'm at my friend's place right now.

Speaker 1 I haven't told anyone else what the fuck to do.

Speaker 2 First of all, fuck your vows.

Speaker 1 He's blowing up my phone saying I'm ruining our marriage over this mistake. Oh, no, he didn't.
But like, this ain't a mistake. Fucking vile.
That is so messed up that he said that.

Speaker 1 And I can't look at him the same. So am I the asshole for wanting to divorce? Absolutely not.
Or should I try to forgive him?

Speaker 2 Who in their right mind would say, yep, you're the asshole.

Speaker 1 Oh, God. Yeah, no, absolutely not this is how many people can you see being like don't divorce don't jump to divorce give him a chance okay so

Speaker 1 vows are not like the dude you took vows he just he just peed in your overnight oats it's fine it's like don't let someone piss in your cheerios don't divorce over that forcing someone onto your kink that's that's abusive that's not okay in any circumstance and the fact that he was like oh i felt like it was the only way that i could do do it without you knowing.

Speaker 1 So he knew that she would not like that. She knew that it grossed her out.
She, and he, so it's like that didn't help. That didn't help his case.
That just made it worse.

Speaker 1 Like, and I'm like, is this like,

Speaker 1 what, what is it that could drive someone to take their kink that far that they do something like that? That's just so awful. Do you want to drink your own piss? Why don't you drink your own piss?

Speaker 1 Why doesn't he just, does he do it for himself?

Speaker 1 Why not like, what?

Speaker 2 That's not the kink.

Speaker 1 Oh, gosh. It's just so disturbing.

Speaker 2 I wonder if this technically could be in a sexual abuse category.

Speaker 1 I think so.

Speaker 2 Because it is sexually motivated, even though it's not a sexual act. I don't know.
It's very, I think it's assault. It's very strange.

Speaker 2 Well, it is on some abuse, assault on some level. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But it's just like

Speaker 1 definitely.

Speaker 2 I man, I mean, I guess you see

Speaker 1 these

Speaker 2 kinks, sexual desires, take people

Speaker 2 way beyond what they ever thought was possible. I mean, like, this is an extreme measure he's taking to try and fulfill this.

Speaker 1 Well, and a psychologist or psychiatrist could probably break this down too, right? And they're like, yeah, based on that, you know, maybe he has, you know, this extreme desire to have power over her.

Speaker 1 Like, you could break that down, right, and get to maybe the root of why he's interested in that. But regardless, like you can have kinks that aren't normal, normal aircrafts, right?

Speaker 1 Like, people have a CNC kink, like, that's a thing. There's a bunch of stories on Reddit, consensual, non-consensual.
Oh, got it, it's like a thing, yeah. And it's like

Speaker 1 you can find two people who are into that, and that's their vibe. And as long as they go into it openly discussing that and having boundaries, having safe words, yeah, XYZ, like that's fine.

Speaker 1 But when you make someone participate in your kink without them knowing, that's not okay. Like, I literally, I don't know why this happens to me.
And my girl Brie at Dry Bar can back me up on this.

Speaker 1 Brie, if you're listening, I know you listen. Get in the comments.
I talked recently about how I went to yoga class and someone was making sex noises today at Dry Bar. I'm getting my hair done.

Speaker 1 And everyone's like, there's multiple, you know, people at the shampoo basins getting scalp massages. And this lady starts aggressively moaning.
That was just today, this morning. Today.
Oh my God.

Speaker 1 Today. And all, like, I'm kind of like, I like, did a, like, you know, like a like what the, like someone's joking, like, you know, just like, it's so awkward.

Speaker 1 She fucking goes, oh, I bet it sounds like I'm making sex noises, or I bet it sounds like I'm having sex.

Speaker 1 And we're all just like, yeah, it did sound like that. Like, it was so aggressive.

Speaker 1 And then she made another comment after, and I don't remember word for word, but it was something along the lines of, like, no, I'd be enjoying it a lot more.

Speaker 1 Or, like, I'd be even louder if I was having sex. Oh, my gosh.

Speaker 2 That is the full use of free will.

Speaker 1 And we were just like, no, we literally me and Brie, like, my hair girl, like, we walk out of there and we like look at each other. We're like, she goes, that's never happened to me.

Speaker 1 And I go, that was crazy.

Speaker 2 At least she didn't have to be the one washing that person's hair.

Speaker 1 Dude, and like the hair lady was just like,

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 1 And it, it feels like she's like forcing her kink upon you. That's what it felt like.
Because, like, yeah, it might feel good.

Speaker 1 And like, I even said to like the brie girl, I was like, oh, scalp massage feels great. Like, yeah, let's go for it.
But that goes

Speaker 1 that doesn't even come natural. Like, when

Speaker 1 you have to like, you have to like spell those

Speaker 1 moans. That's not, it's not like a like, ah, I'm scared type of reaction.
No, it's not a startle. Like, you got to put thought into that.
You think about it. You can hold that shit in.
You can.

Speaker 2 I know also you can have sex dead quiet. I did it many times in the dorm.
You can be dead quiet on the top bunk and nobody going to know.

Speaker 2 So you can definitely hold it in when you're getting your hair washed.

Speaker 1 My goodness. It was crazy.
And it's like, also, you're not scared about how others are going to perceive your moans. What if that?

Speaker 2 Just no care. Well, that is one way I wish I could live is just having absolutely zero care, but not making people uncomfortable or disrespectful.

Speaker 1 It was uncomfortable.

Speaker 2 Yes, that's different.

Speaker 1 It was uncomfortable.

Speaker 1 Man. I have a relative who will say, and it's really not a big deal, but like,

Speaker 1 I have a relative who will be like, oh my gosh, the food is so good. You'll literally moan when you eat it.
And I'm like,

Speaker 1 the relative doesn't moan or anything. Oh, but some people do moan when they take it.
Like, mmm,

Speaker 1 as they're eating. And ick.
And I don't think that the relative means it like in a weird way or anything. But like even that word, I'm like, maybe a different word,

Speaker 1 maybe a different word. Moan, moan.

Speaker 1 The word moan is like inherently sexual. Yeah.
Oh, I was moaning over it. And I'm like, maybe, maybe during like that time period, because relative's like a little older, maybe it was more normal.

Speaker 1 But like, even, I'm just like, maybe, I'm like, I just, I feel like maybe we're not going to be with the times.

Speaker 1 Stay with the times.

Speaker 2 Okay. Times changing.

Speaker 1 Well, back to this one leave it divorce run do not give him a second chance

Speaker 1 leave it leave it leave it yeah top comment on this one run

Speaker 1 honestly my fault for knowing how to read

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 1 next one down sometimes you don't know what you're in for until it's too late what

Speaker 1 were they did they have it are they from the south or what was that they spelled it urin

Speaker 1 You don't know what you're in for? Yeah, yeah. U-R-I-N-E Urine.

Speaker 1 It's a pun. I just love when you, when you say mum.

Speaker 1 Mum. Yeah.
When you read how, how it's you can't. Yeah.
I feel like whoever was British in the comments trying to gaslight me, you don't say mom. You say mum.
I don't care. Especially in Australia.

Speaker 1 I don't care if you think it's mom. It's not mom.
You're saying mom. And you spell it M-U-M.
That's mum. So

Speaker 1 figure it out over there. You know, you and your little in your jumpers.

Speaker 2 It's short for mummy.

Speaker 1 What's up with the jumpers? That's what they call sweatshirts. They call it a jumper.

Speaker 1 A jumpa. I love my British friends, but you say mom.
I love the accent so much. Hey, mum.
Oh, that's my mom. British and Australian accents.
I just, they're so cool.

Speaker 1 We have a, we have an Australian on the podcast next week. Oh, very, very cute.

Speaker 1 Her name's Gemma. Oh, okay.
Yeah. Look cutie.
Very exciting. Hello, cutie.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 The voice with this one. I'm going to see if there's any comments from OP.

Speaker 2 Imagine the moment you see that on video, too. Oh, my God.
You actually see it and your ultimate fear is confirmed.

Speaker 1 Justin, I bet you are happy little cameras exist now, huh?

Speaker 2 Okay, they can be used for some good.

Speaker 1 Imagine if she went her entire life. Like, she's literally like 105 years old and she's sipping her piss coffee every single morning.

Speaker 2 Then I would venture to say maybe it got her to 105 because of some weird health benefit.

Speaker 1 That's not my point.

Speaker 2 But that's no, it's that's it's not no.

Speaker 2 They can be used for some good.

Speaker 1 It saved her a lot of time and a lot of I think often they are used for bad. So yeah.

Speaker 2 They exist. That's the thing.
They exist. We can't stop it.

Speaker 1 Use it for good reasons, not bad.

Speaker 2 And this was a great execution of that.

Speaker 1 Same with AirTags. Use it for good, not bad.

Speaker 1 That's what they say, though. They say, like, every time there's like this breakthrough, amazing, awesome technology, there's always the bad that people will use to take advantage.
Always.

Speaker 1 Not a lot of other comments from OP adding like additional insight.

Speaker 1 People are, you know, just being like, oh, you're going too hard on him. You must have known this before you got married.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 1 And OP saws like, I had no idea this was something he was into prior to marrying him so potentially a little bit of a bait and switch there with that one but you know maybe it was a new development who knows regardless she's not okay with it she's not into it she didn't want to drink his piss and her oats so divorce

Speaker 1 done and i think we can all agree on that i don't think we're gonna have anyone saying that was uh

Speaker 1 too quick No, feels justifiable.

Speaker 2 No, we need the divorce sign from over there.

Speaker 1 We do. Yeah.
We do. Okay, let's move along to this next one.

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Speaker 1 Okay, so this next one. This is coming from AITH, one

Speaker 1 day old.

Speaker 1 It is titled, I farted and my boyfriend got mad.

Speaker 1 Rude.

Speaker 1 My boyfriend, 30, and I, 28 female, were cuddled in bed under a blanket, not doing anything, just cuddled up.

Speaker 1 Randomly, I farted, literally out of nowhere, and he immediately jumped out of bed and said,

Speaker 1 Okay, I'm done, and started getting dressed and saying, Stuff like this irks me.

Speaker 1 I replied, I understand, but that was completely unintentional, but also very natural. His response, angrily, quote, Why would you fart in the bed under the blanket?

Speaker 1 I just sat there, shocked, with absolutely no words. At that moment, my heart shattered into every tiny piece imaginable.

Speaker 1 What should I do?

Speaker 2 Oh no, sounds like Sal from uh Impractical Jokers, like it's like a germ thing, maybe where it's like, Oh, you farted in the bed, like I'm out, like it just feels like a like an uncontrolled response, not a logical response.

Speaker 1 It is a big response for a little fart, yeah. Well, what if it wasn't little?

Speaker 2 I'm just kidding, it's like a minute long,

Speaker 1 those ones are really uncomfortable

Speaker 1 um because they just drown on you don't know when it's gonna end like uncomfortable physically um what wow what

Speaker 1 justin's like i've never heard anything about your farts really that's crazy no here's the thing long farts are the funniest thing ever where they just

Speaker 1 And they just like drown out. And you're like, what the fuck?

Speaker 1 And it is. The person just turns and looks at you slowly.
You guys got to stop eating dairy. How do you know I'm talking about myself? I don't have a lot of dairy.
That's the thing.

Speaker 1 I'm talking about other people and movies and myself.

Speaker 1 Just kidding.

Speaker 1 What should she do?

Speaker 1 I mean, I don't like this. I feel like I need more context because, like,

Speaker 1 how soon, how long have they been dating? Is it new? Do we have any context around that? No mention in the initial post. Let's go to the comments and see if we have anything.

Speaker 2 Well, if it is recent, then I would say this sets a very awkward standard going forward where it's like

Speaker 2 i'm going to be uncomfortable constantly yeah in any situation with this guy if he freaks out this much over a little fart yeah then you know i don't want to deal with that forever because what if i fall asleep first and then i fart in my sleep and i can't painfully just hold it in And then is he going to freak out and be like, you did it again.

Speaker 2 I'm done. Like, we can't deal with that energy.
There's no room for that in my life. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So the person who never farts and has a fiance who never farts in front of him. But I do.
Like, the thing is, I don't, I don't want the first one that he, and he's heard me in my sleep.

Speaker 1 I think he just tries to make me feel better about it because, like, I will startle myself awake with my farts when I'm like

Speaker 1 asleep. But I want the first one to be a cute toot.
I don't want the first one to be like my explosive.

Speaker 1 Like, you know what I mean? Or like when it really checked your pants after that one. I know it was a little wet, but you know what I mean,

Speaker 1 you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 I just think you guys are so hilarious because, like, you guys are like two of the most open people.

Speaker 1 And so, the fact that the fact that you guys like have this like fart thing, which keeps it interesting. It's an aunt.
I have an aunt.

Speaker 1 My aunt, Karen, has been with her husband now.

Speaker 1 I don't know. It's all because they don't fart.
They've been together at 20 years, right? Like 20 some odd years, give or take. She still hasn't farted in front of him.

Speaker 1 This is where it comes from.

Speaker 2 I mean, meanwhile, you have the on command over here.

Speaker 1 I just don't.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Me? I feel like you could fart right now if you wanted to. Probably.

Speaker 1 I'm kidding.

Speaker 2 If Brian walked in the door.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh my God.
No, Brian, though, this is what I'm, I'm like, I'm asking about context because sometimes, like, I jokingly will be mad at Brian for farting. Like, this doesn't seem like a joke.

Speaker 1 Okay. But it's like, but I act mad, but I'm like, also, joking.
Does that make sense? I'm like, how could you do that? And our place of rest. I'm like, that's good.

Speaker 1 I'm like, go outside and think about what you did.

Speaker 1 But, like, I'm being playful. So that's why I'm wondering if

Speaker 1 all the context behind this. I know.
So OP has a lot,

Speaker 1 a lot of comments. Like, there's so many.
I'm really trying to, like, get to something of substance, but I've been scrolling for so long. My hand hurts.
I feel my carpal tunnel

Speaker 1 activating. My wrist has not been in neutral as it should be.

Speaker 1 I'm not seeing any like

Speaker 1 substance. Like a lot of people are like,

Speaker 1 did you fart in his direction on purpose? No, I didn't fart in his direction. That would be disrespectful.
No, I'm not lactose intolerant and never, literally never fart on him.

Speaker 1 It was only an accident. His reaction is what bothered me.
Yeah. Honestly, it's like, what are women supposed to do? Not do human things? It blows my mind out of rational thinking.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I did not fart on him. Not at all.
I think that's rude, actually.

Speaker 1 I said, excuse me, sorry. And he still got upset at me.
So it seems like OP is like

Speaker 1 really...

Speaker 1 It was just like, hey, they're laughing under the covers, maybe making out. And like, it was just like an accidental like, bodily function.

Speaker 1 Like, yeah, it doesn't sound like she was trying to dutch oven him. No.
And I think, you know what I mean? Like, it's truly just a, oops, I tweeted. Like, they were maybe giggling.
Who knows?

Speaker 1 But I'm not seeing a lot here, but I want to look up how often it is healthy to fart a day.

Speaker 1 A lot of people are accusing OP of making this up, this being fake.

Speaker 1 To be honest, I really deeply, truly wish I was joking. The guy and I have been dating for over a year now.
Oh my God. And have talked heavily about settling down.

Speaker 1 I know his pet peeves and he knows mine. I will say this.
He is, in general, not a fan of any type of bodily fluids such as blood, saliva, pee, poo, etc.

Speaker 1 The sight and thought of those things upsets him easily. Now, with that in mind, I respectfully try my hardest and have so far succeeded to keep those things out of sight.

Speaker 1 I just did not ever, ever imagine that he would do that to me over a fart.

Speaker 1 And I barely, I mean, ever fart around him. The reaction was what shocked me the most.
Not necessarily the fart itself. I immediately called my mother and cried about this because of the shock.

Speaker 1 I am rethinking this entire relationship. We are long distance, by the way.
So you can imagine the money, trips, and time invested all this while.

Speaker 1 But all of that doesn't matter when the one person I'm supposedly trying to build a future with can't accept all of me. Yeah.
I mean, this is

Speaker 1 not to sound weird, but like farting is such a big part of a human's life. Like I just looked it up and the average human farts five to 15 times a day.
So

Speaker 1 to be worried about that every single day that you're going to accidentally fart in front of your partner when you have a life, when you have kids with them.

Speaker 1 What happens when she, like, if they want to have kids? Like, I was literally just talking to someone about going through labor.

Speaker 1 I was like, on the bachelor art trip, I was asking Jess, you know, the bride's Sarah sister-in-law. I was like, Hey, how did this go? Like, what was this? What was this? She's like, Ask me anything.

Speaker 1 Go for it. And I was like, Did you poop? And I didn't even ask.
And she brought it up and she was like, She's like, I don't know if I pooped.

Speaker 1 Because honestly, they just like grabbed the truck, rolled it up, and went about their way. And I asked, and they wouldn't tell me if I pooped, but she for sure pooped.
She thinks she pooped.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, How can this guy handle that? How can you have someone seriously? And it's like, Yeah, okay, you can keep the fainter up by your head. Like, you

Speaker 1 we're gonna have to have someone ready to catch you. Beyond that one day, Let's say they get past that.
What about changing diapers?

Speaker 2 What if she falls and gets hurt?

Speaker 1 She can't handle it.

Speaker 2 She's bleeding, and she needs like someone to put a freaking tourniquet around her.

Speaker 1 And there's and he's like, No, I can't, I can't.

Speaker 2 And then she bleeds out. Like, come on, that's not someone you want.

Speaker 1 And there's so many what-ifs, like, so many people can't handle blood. So many people aren't squeamish, but to like then be like,

Speaker 1 oh, I'm going to accidentally fart. Yeah.
And then you get punished for it so much where you're like, I'm done. I'm, I'm over this.
I'm done with this. I understand aversions.

Speaker 1 Like, you guys know, like, like certain things, like spit and stuff, like that. Like, there's certain

Speaker 1 bodily fluids that, like, I also will just have like a gag reflex too. Yeah.

Speaker 1 If it's, I think I might have told you guys this, but when I was taking a COVID test, like, you have to spit into a little vial. It got to be a lot.

Speaker 1 I like when I looked at my own spit, my own spit, I started gagging. I was looking at gags.

Speaker 1 And it's like, it's stupid, but it's some people have aversions to things, but I do think that there is

Speaker 1 you, like, you can't make somebody feel bad for something that's just natural, like a fart like that. It's, that's, it's not how a partnership is going to,

Speaker 1 I mean, apparently it does happen sometimes because you just said your relatives haven't farted for 25 years. And honestly, like, that's just, that's, you know, Karen and Doug.
That's their love.

Speaker 1 And I don't think I'll get 20 years because it's, we're year six now and I'm, I'm getting a little more brazen with my toots.

Speaker 2 But the thing is, like, if he, if this is locked in, because we don't know if we can change him and his reactions to things, if this is locked in, then we're really asking a question of, is this how I want to live my life?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Is this the person I want to be by my side and kind of deal with this stuff forever? That's the, you start looking.

Speaker 2 at yourself and what you want and i don't think this would be worth it for me right because are you really going to be like i don't want you to react when i fart and if it's like then

Speaker 2 I, you know, it's weird, but then is he compromising on his quality of life based on his preferences and aversions like we're talking about?

Speaker 1 He'll find something with a good stomach.

Speaker 2 It's not necessarily, we need to change. It's just, what do you want going forward?

Speaker 1 So there is a comment here from Ask Lisa Howe. And it looks like a very well thought out comment.
And OP does respond to it. Let him go.

Speaker 1 I know from personal experience that a man who gets upset over something as small as a toot will end up with many more irks as the relationship progresses.

Speaker 1 Let's say you get past the toot incident and eventually get married. Are you willing or even able to not fart in bed?

Speaker 1 I don't think that's a possibility because most everyone farts shortly after getting into bed and fart again when they get up in the morning. You have no control over that.

Speaker 1 If you try to hold your gas regularly to avoid farting in front of him, you will likely end up with serious gastrointestinal problems within a couple of years.

Speaker 1 No man is worth having to walk on eggshells to avoid irking him suddenly.

Speaker 1 My guess is that he has been looking for a reason to break up with you for something completely unrelated to you or anything you've done. Don't contact him.

Speaker 1 If he doesn't contact you, the toot breakup has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. If he does contact you, don't answer or respond to any of his attempts.

Speaker 1 I bet his phone messages and texts will get more desperate or turn angry. A simple, I'm sorry, is useless because there will be more senseless irks for him to explode about anything as time goes on.

Speaker 1 In my mid-twenties, I married a man who had some quirks that I never understood. For the two years we lived together, he never once pooped at home.

Speaker 1 He would stop at his parents' house or hold it for 45 minutes until he got to work. On weekends,

Speaker 1 opposite. I know.
On weekends, he went to Lowe's or fast food restaurants near the house to poop. There were other quirks, but it's too much to post about.

Speaker 1 Then, six weeks after we got married, he moved out one day while I was at work. It was stunning because we hadn't had any arguments or issues that I was aware of.

Speaker 1 He finally admitted the reason he left was because he had bought a new car for his ex-girlfriend before we met. She had the car.
He was paying for the car, insurance, and all her parking tickets.

Speaker 1 He said he left so he could go through the legal process to get the car from her without me finding out about it. He came back home and I helped him get it back.
All was good and well after that.

Speaker 1 Then he left again six months later. That time was because he had taken out some loans without telling me and couldn't afford to pay the loans and the expenses of our life together.
Yikes.

Speaker 1 This was 1994. He made over $100,000 a year then.
My house payment was only $375 a month. He had two car payments and utilities, so I don't know what the loans were for.

Speaker 1 After that, I realized he had a bad habit of keeping secrets from me, and I didn't know who this man really was.

Speaker 1 Save yourself from all the BS of his quirks and find someone who isn't so quick to end your relationship because of something so insignificant as your bodily functions. You deserve better.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 The same guy pooping at Lowe's was the lone guy.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
I'm thinking about that. That was a wild story.
I know. I was like, does it tie? I was like, was he leaving to poop because he actually was just doing sketchy stuff? Instead?

Speaker 1 But Lisa went through it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 OP does reply to that. But you say what you're going to say first.
Oh, I was just going to say, I think that's a good comment.

Speaker 1 The only, like a really good comment, the only thing that I'm kind of confused about is the part where she says, don't contact him at all. Like, he didn't say he wanted to break up, right?

Speaker 1 I don't know. Lisa might be interpreting that.

Speaker 1 Okay, I'm done as like a breakup. Oh, I don't know why I didn't even...

Speaker 1 fathom that i'm not sure because that that would make it even crazier over a fart yeah yeah crazy i thought even like I'm done cuddling now.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I don't know. I don't know.
OP responds to Lisa. Okay.
Hi, Lisa.

Speaker 1 Would you believe me if I said that after this farting in bed incident that I posted, we spoke about it, got over it, and then moved on.

Speaker 1 We are currently now driving to his hometown, which is a two-hour drive from where he currently lives. And while we're in the car, I tell him,

Speaker 1 Hey, I need to fart. I had a heavy breakfast before we took the road.
And guess what his response was? Can you hold it in?

Speaker 1 That just did it for me. Bye.
I think I'm in the wrong relationship. Yeah, absolutely not.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 I would be so livid. And that's the thing.
You guys have like your little fart thing that you guys do, but you guys would never ask each other not to fart in front of each other. Ever.
I want him to.

Speaker 1 Like, that's, we've said this again and again, and people, people are annoyed with it at this point. Whatever.
Like, Justin just doesn't toot.

Speaker 1 And if he did, I think like I've, I've had relationships in the past where like, I've, I don't care. I openly toot in front of them.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You don't toot in front of me. It's like, I'm starting to because there's a lot of times where like, I can't hold it in.
I don't want to hold it in. So I'm starting to let him rip.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 He hasn't noticed.

Speaker 2 What's the difference between the terrible,

Speaker 2 you know, thing about, oh, you, can you hold it? You have to hold it in. The opposite of that is, can you force air out your ass? Can you force it out so I can hear it and feel more comfortable?

Speaker 2 I know. That probably also has some health problems associated with it.

Speaker 1 Justin literally can't fart. It's so interesting.

Speaker 2 Not since I've stopped eating dairy. Changed my life.

Speaker 1 It's so interesting, though, because even with like

Speaker 1 even with like without dairy and health, like you should be farting like a decent amount. He burps a lot, though.
Huh. Maybe that's, maybe that has something to do with it.
I don't.

Speaker 2 Okay. If we saw the uncut raw footage of every episode, let's count the number of burps.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Let's count the number of burgers.
Morgan is the biggest burper. I do burp.
Yeah. But I'm also drinking a beverage.
Yeah. So are we.

Speaker 1 But yeah, no,

Speaker 1 that's so funny. I don't burp that often.
If I do, it's like, it's like undetectable.

Speaker 1 Or people think I hiccup. They're like, oh, cute.
It was a hiccup. What? Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's why. I mean, think about how many times you've heard me burp, and I wouldn't hold it back in front of you.
I'm just. No, you're more of a tutor.
Don't tell them that. They already know.

Speaker 1 No, they don't. No one.
No one thinks that. I am not a tutor.
I've never seen five times while you've been here. No.

Speaker 1 No. She is a silent one.
Oh my gosh. The deadly.

Speaker 1 No, no. They're like roses.
Just if you could see them, they'd be green. Anyways, we're moving on.
We're leaving this one. But okay, one last story for Love It or Leave It.

Speaker 1 Huzzah. Huzzah.

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So, if you want to make home cooking more affordable and easy and fun, HelloFresh is here.

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You know, Justin go back and forth. We're indecisive.

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Just go to hellofresh.com/slash hellofresh podcast. Links in the description.

Speaker 1 Would that be your evil laugh if you had one? What did I do? That was an evil laugh? I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.

Speaker 1 I don't like, and I'm not sure how I did it, but yes, probably. It was really good.
Yeah. I was supposed to go do.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Ah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Ah, yes.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Do you guys remember what's in the box?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 2 I wish I could know, but

Speaker 1 how many of you out there have been with us since the days of the box?

Speaker 1 Look at that. Look at that tie-in.
Yeah. So this one is coming from our slash relationship advice titled, My 21 Male Girlfriend, 20 Female Has a Creepy Box Above the Wardrobe.

Speaker 1 This is a Valentine's Day theme.

Speaker 1 Love it or leave it.

Speaker 1 Who says wardrobe anymore? I mean, come on. We have been together for just over a year and we have never had any issues apart from minor arguments that were easily resolved.

Speaker 1 Up until recently, I have never noticed anything strange about her behavior. A few days ago, she left her room at university to go to a lecture in the morning and left me in there.

Speaker 1 Up until that day, I had never looked through her things, as I've never felt the need to. She has this space above the wardrobe where she keeps boxes and stuff, and I couldn't see inside them.

Speaker 1 Boredom got the better of me, and I wanted to see what she was storing. So I found a box at the back, which was like a Ted Baker cardboard box that a handbag had come in or something.

Speaker 1 And when I opened it, I found so many random things that I used to own.

Speaker 1 There were odd socks in there that she had taken, a toothbrush that I had thought I had lost after our holiday, bits of hair from presumably my my comb, toenail clippings, receipts that I assume she stole from my wallet.

Speaker 1 She even has things like empty wrappers of food that I know were mine. There was a piece of glass in there, but I don't know where that is from.

Speaker 1 A USB phone charger, a half-used bar of soap, boxer shorts, used gum, a spoon, used plasters from God knows where.

Speaker 1 Honestly, the things in the box were so random, but I recognized a lot of little bits that had gone missing over the past year.

Speaker 1 The most worrying thing was a used condom

Speaker 1 I found in there. This sounds like a making of a voodoo doll.
I don't even know how she managed to keep that.

Speaker 1 And a few empty condom wrappers as well. I even found a little tablet in there that looked a lot like my antibiotics that I took for my tonsils before Christmas.

Speaker 1 And I definitely remember losing one of my last dosage.

Speaker 1 I can't remember what else because I just put it back and left. She doesn't know I found it yet.
My girlfriend behaves normally, and this is the first time I've seen anything weird.

Speaker 1 She has never acted obsessive or creepy or anything. I don't want to confront her about it because she will know I was looking through her things.
But then again, what else am I supposed to do? Leave.

Speaker 1 I love her so much, but I'm genuinely scared. I have been sat here trying so hard to come up with logical explanations as to why she is doing this.
Any ideas?

Speaker 2 This is like the sequel to what's in the box.

Speaker 1 That's just the flip. That's what was in the box.

Speaker 1 Holy crap.

Speaker 2 That box has got a stink because condoms. Use condoms do not age well.

Speaker 1 When you find i'm sure it was tied

Speaker 1 a lot of people don't know about the tie trick it does not people don't know about the tie trick

Speaker 1 hey listen can we talk about the tie trick this is like a brief tangent

Speaker 1 you go first you go first

Speaker 1 he's so defeated you go first no no no no

Speaker 1 i think if you're using condoms as your main form of birth control the best thing you can do is take it off and then unwrap the extra and tie it like you would a balloon and then squeegee it down to the bottom to make make sure there's no holes squeegee yes i was thinking the same thing really yeah squeegee did it for you what other word would you use squeegee maybe just an unnecessary step squeegee yeah no no definitely not that

Speaker 1 if you have to maybe maybe squeeze so you just stick with squeeze

Speaker 1 what a nice look at that word

Speaker 1 Wow

Speaker 1 Okay, Justin, your turn.

Speaker 2 No, no turn needed.

Speaker 1 The funny thing is I'm pretty sure you like had this tangent literally at the last time we recorded.

Speaker 1 I just like think everyone should know because then you know if you need to take a plan B, you just know what you're working with.

Speaker 1 And then the condom is securely fastened. So if you're a dude and you need to take that condom when you go,

Speaker 1 because you might need to, there's some goofies out there.

Speaker 1 Then it's secure. It's not going to leak in your pockets.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 1 What are you thinking in there?

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 Do you want the ring back?

Speaker 1 I'm like crying. This is so funny to me.

Speaker 1 What were you going to say?

Speaker 1 I, I, well, this is what was in the box. It's just kind of condoms.

Speaker 2 I'm just disturbed. I'm putting myself in this situation.
Yeah. And there is a place where I feel like this box could reside in our residence.
And,

Speaker 2 you know, it just seems whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Speaker 1 I'm just picturing myself. You can't just drop a bomb like that.

Speaker 2 I'm just picturing myself finding said box and being in the situation and just being completely.

Speaker 1 But you think Morgan would do this?

Speaker 2 No, no, but I'm putting myself in that place.

Speaker 1 I'm like, I'm just, I can't, my eyes are watering. I'm so, you guys have had a twitching eye all day.
Like, I don't, I just, what would you do?

Speaker 2 I can't even think through it because it's, yeah, there's no logic. And I would just I don't know I think the best way to put it was early on in the thing with creepy it is kind of just

Speaker 1 creepy I don't yeah I don't know it feels like it feels almost like

Speaker 1 I don't know like souvenirs

Speaker 1 that's what I'm what I'm trying I'm trying to think what she's thinking is she thinking this is romantic and one day she's gonna like make a scrapbook out of it

Speaker 1 I know I know right so I'm like but I'm like what I'm like is that what she's thinking or does it like is it something she's she's keeping specifically for herself and it gives her some type of like satisfaction or closeness?

Speaker 1 Like, what is she thinking? Or is it just a tick? Is it literally just like kind of like something, someone with klepto who just takes something and like it's not because they need that object.

Speaker 1 They just like the act of taking it. It makes them feel in control.
And so she's collecting these items because it just makes her feel in control.

Speaker 1 That's what I think because the toenail clippings are really weird. The toothbrush is the last dose of medication.
The The last dose of medication.

Speaker 1 The hair that looks like it just came out of a comb. That's so weird.
I mean, you would almost like think, like, I don't know why. And clearly,

Speaker 1 clear, what? Food at all? Is that what we were going to say? Well, that a little bit, but like, because I heard, I think I heard you read it or say that as I was reading it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But I would almost be like, Pica? Like, she's just eating random crazy shit, but like, she's clearly not eating it because it's there in a box.

Speaker 1 i think the the one that really threw me for a loop though is like

Speaker 1 the used condom yeah the used condom i know the condom wrappers like

Speaker 1 a weird but like to keep the used condom and it's like is it sealed or did she drake it up her passage

Speaker 1 I don't think so.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 Now, right. We're taking it to a whole different place.

Speaker 1 The girl's got a box full of stuff that she she showed in.

Speaker 2 Like, yeah, everyone's like, if it was filled with all the used condoms, then it'd be like, yeah, okay, what are you trying to do? But there's like one, maybe, but combined with everything else.

Speaker 1 I just like, I watched this like witch movie not too long ago, and I think it was, I might be making this up and combining it with a different witch movie, but I think it was Teen Witch.

Speaker 1 And I think that she was like told to like grab like a hair from him or something like that. And so that's why I'm like, is it something like even farther fetched?

Speaker 1 I, that would be a long shot, but like. Did you listen to the episode with me and Michaela where she talked about old witchcraft to get people to fall in love with you? No.

Speaker 1 People would put fish up their vaginas. Oh, no.
So maybe, maybe she's practicing. Yeah, maybe she like read something that like made her think that this will make the love last forever.

Speaker 1 So not necessarily like witchcraft, but like some type of...

Speaker 1 Things she came across on the internet that just, I don't know. It's so weird.
I don't have any answers. I'm just like fucking around spitballing.
I don't know, guys.

Speaker 2 Time to break out the mini camera.

Speaker 1 Yeah, might be. But honestly,

Speaker 1 if I found someone that I was just dating, like if I had dated them for a year, like at this point, if we're six years deep, engaged and I found a box of stuff, I'd be like, therapy. Well, yeah.

Speaker 1 But I think if you're six months in and you find a box of your stuff, your body parts and your toothbrush and whatever, like body parts.

Speaker 1 I think at that point I would leave. Like, I think I would just be like,

Speaker 1 I'm not about it. But that's also like, what? You said they're six months in? I don't know.
Oh, because I'm like just over a year. Okay.

Speaker 1 Because I'm like,

Speaker 1 I mean, that's a decent amount of time, though. People think they're,

Speaker 1 I mean, we knew at a year, I knew I wanted to marry you at a year. So, I mean, that's in pretty deep, I guess.
I was long before that. So

Speaker 1 the day that you came,

Speaker 1 the outfit. Yeah.
When the sun was shining around you. No, he did.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That day.
So I get it. I feel like I have this image.
I wasn't there, but I feel like I was because of the way you painted it.

Speaker 2 It honestly was kind of like that.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 But I get it. I get like a year is so long to where you're like, you know, everything else has been great.
She's got no other red flags. This is just a box.
Whatever.

Speaker 1 I could see a lot of people being able to move past it. For me, a year,

Speaker 1 I don't know if I would be at a year. I don't think that I would be.

Speaker 1 And I, I don't know. And the reason why I don't think I'd be able to move move past it is because

Speaker 1 I've had an experience where it made me feel like I just

Speaker 1 didn't know the person and it, and I thought I knew the person and it really scared me in a way that I don't really know how to explain. It was a different type of fear.

Speaker 1 And it was something where I'm just like,

Speaker 1 I,

Speaker 1 I don't know how to move forward because I, yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like an indirect, I guess in this situation, indirect type of betrayal because,

Speaker 1 but it feels so wrong, and it just feels sneaky. And it feels like, how do you really know this person if they're doing collecting

Speaker 1 things like that about you? It's just it, it would be really hard for me to move forward. But I wouldn't blame anyone if they wanted to move forward, if they wanted to figure it out.

Speaker 1 I told that makes complete sense. I think I would just have a hard time with it.
I would too, especially the context too, right? Like with the things like the toenail and the hair and the condom.

Speaker 1 Did you put it in the trash? Like it was securely in the trash and then she dug it under the trash? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Or are you just like kind of a dirty guy and you cut your nails on the sink and left the clippings there and they were just easy to dupe into a bag, like swoop, you know,

Speaker 1 I don't think any of that matters. So it doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 I think it makes it worse. Like if she's digging through the trash,

Speaker 1 that makes it even worse for me.

Speaker 2 It's just weird, just weird.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I just, unless they, unless they have a conversation and it like really makes sense and

Speaker 1 and she has a really like an explanation and is actively like I will make this better I will make I will I don't want you to feel this way

Speaker 1 then you know then I could probably

Speaker 1 consider it but yeah it's just tough stuff like this is just tough well we do have an update

Speaker 1 update the other boxes just had her clothes in it or were empty

Speaker 1 okay

Speaker 1 that's the update yeah you're kidding No, like right there, update. That's it.
You're messing with us. Top comment.
At least your poop isn't on those socks in the box.

Speaker 1 Excuse me. Don't you remember the girl who wiped your only socks? Yeah.
But I didn't throw a box. I didn't know that they knew that too.

Speaker 1 That's the update.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 This is getting weird. That's not an update.

Speaker 1 It's not. You can't do that to us.
That's really rude. We need to just trash this story, actually.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 just throw it. That's really sad.
No, no, no. And then we'll take it back and we'll put it in the box.
Just like the girl did, right out of the trash. What's wrong? What's wrong? You tried so hard.

Speaker 1 What? It's good. I'm kidding.

Speaker 1 I'm just kidding. We got another update.
Oh,

Speaker 1 how did you cry?

Speaker 1 Okay. Are those laughing tears? Yeah.

Speaker 1 They just won't stop.

Speaker 1 I'm going to look so crazy on this episode. Get on with it.
I'm crying over condoms in a box.

Speaker 2 Let's go.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Update number two.

Speaker 1 My girlfriend is currently in the bath, and I took this opportunity to take another look at the box. She has been completely normal and unsuspecting that I know of.

Speaker 1 A lot of people ask to see the contents of the box. So here it is.

Speaker 1 We used to have a link to a picture. However, the link no longer works.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 some people were describing the box.

Speaker 1 They said,

Speaker 1 why are there three phones in the box? Whose phones are those? What happened to the owners? I don't know about two of them.

Speaker 1 The smashed iPod is my first generation iPod Touch that I had in a box somewhere. Didn't even notice it was gone.
So she's digging through his things. Yep.

Speaker 1 That's that's the part that would really freak me out. That is weird.

Speaker 1 OP adds after sharing that link. After reading the advice comments, I'm torn.
I don't believe that my girlfriend would hurt me, but I don't know how to approach her with this odd behavior.

Speaker 1 I feel sick and afraid when I think about the box, but then I think of her cute face and I can't bring myself to confront her about it.

Speaker 1 I'm trying so hard to think of a normal, rational explanation to tell myself this isn't weird.

Speaker 1 We can't come up with one either. I'm sorry, my dude.
It's weird. It's weird.

Speaker 1 It's weird.

Speaker 1 Ah, that looks like more than one dosage of medication. So, this is people's responses to the picture.
I wish we had it so bad.

Speaker 1 OP goes.

Speaker 1 There was a single loose antibiotic that you can't see in the image. No idea where the other medication is from.
Looks like contraception, but she isn't on the pill as far as I am aware.

Speaker 1 Yep, had a quick Google, and it is most definitely a contraceptive pill, but they don't look used, which makes this even stranger. And penicillin, which can be used for a lot of different things.

Speaker 1 So you cannot say everything in the box is yours, question mark.

Speaker 1 Which that is weird. Yeah.
Because we hear about like, obviously, she hasn't killed him yet, so whatever. But like,

Speaker 1 serial killers keep trophies. Like, you hear about that.
It was on you, didn't you? The guy on you, like, I didn't kill

Speaker 1 that.

Speaker 1 Too scary.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Someone goes, to me, it looks like a box of souvenirs.

Speaker 1 A normal souvenir is a greeting card or maybe a found coin, a used q-tip, or anything with bodily fluids taken without permission or agreement. That's abnormal.

Speaker 1 Worst case scenario, mental illness and gone girl-esque plans to potentially frame or trap you if you leave. Best case,

Speaker 1 mental illness and a problem with obsession and stalking behavior. I didn't even think about like a gone girl situation.
That's

Speaker 1 terrifying because you're right. Those are all

Speaker 1 wow. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And someone else responds to that comment and goes, the fact that the condom, hair, and q-tip are in wrappers shows that she took time with these things, not just compulsively grabbing things of yours and stashing them.

Speaker 1 If everything in that box is related to you, then you need to find out what those mystery phones have to do with you. Oh my God.

Speaker 1 I bet there is video of you two fucking or something or some other stashed digital keepsakes.

Speaker 1 Wow. Okay.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 how did...

Speaker 1 Oh, it's because I don't watch these type of things. I know.
But I'm like, I'm like, how did I not even like

Speaker 1 think of this this possibility? But now I'm like, it makes sense. Like, I did watch Gone Girl, actually.

Speaker 1 Surprisingly. I think the picture that we, we obviously don't have it, like, that's also providing a lot more context for people

Speaker 1 because, like, all of these things are in baggies. Yeah.
The baggies, someone goes, the baggies are a red flag for me. She was very deliberate.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So the toenail clippings, baggies, Q-tips, baggies. Picked up with gloves.
Condoms, baggies.

Speaker 2 Like,

Speaker 2 that is so evidence on a crime scene.

Speaker 1 But it's like, maybe maybe she has contamination issues and she's just like worried. But, like, then it's like, why do you have contamination issues?

Speaker 1 You're not scared of contamination enough to where you'll take a condom out of the trash, but you don't want your own DNA on it.

Speaker 1 Wait, I don't know where you even came up with that. I don't know.
I don't know. Like, that's fingerprint because her DNA.
I don't know. I'm just like, I'm trying to wrap my mind around this.

Speaker 1 Final update. Okay.

Speaker 1 Thank you all for the advice. I really appreciate it.
My friend recommended I post here, and it has really helped.

Speaker 1 I told my girlfriend that I found the box, and she didn't seem bothered in the slightest that I found it.

Speaker 1 Okay. I don't know if that's a good sign or a bad sign.
She is quite sensitive, so I expected tears, but I got none. Oh.

Speaker 1 She kind of brushed it off like it wasn't a big deal at all. I told her that the gross stuff was unacceptable and that she was wrong to take my Parker pens that belonged to my granddad.

Speaker 1 She said that she had the intention of returning them to me. It was the best case scenario compared to the other possible explanations.

Speaker 1 She said that she was keeping them because they made her feel close to me. I guess I can understand that, or at least try to, because I love her.

Speaker 1 Toenails make you feel close to him?

Speaker 1 Sorry, not to judge. I'm judging.

Speaker 1 I'm judging. She said she will dispose of the things in the box.
I am quite satisfied with that.

Speaker 1 We have agreed that in the future she will keep things like movie tickets from a date, things that are normal. She said that she kept the condom and wrapper because she thinks.

Speaker 1 Oh no, what's this face? What?

Speaker 1 Oh no. She thinks that she might be pregnant because she is late.

Speaker 1 How does that correlate? She kept

Speaker 1 what? This was the one it happened with.

Speaker 1 She said that if the condom didn't work and she is pregnant, that she wanted to keep it as memorabilia of what happened.

Speaker 1 She said that she can see that it was strange now, but at the time, she wanted to keep it and didn't mean any harm. Thanks for all the concerned messages.

Speaker 1 We have talked and worked through this and are excited at the possibility of a pregnancy. Oh, so you're crazy too.
How? Okay, wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 2 How did you know it was that condom? And wouldn't you find out

Speaker 2 a certain amount of time later?

Speaker 1 Thank you. Thank you.
That is such a good point. Preserve.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Are you guys not throwing out your trash

Speaker 1 regularly? Yeah, like would you just dug it up from like

Speaker 1 five months or five weeks later?

Speaker 2 And you're like, oh, every time you're, you're... have completed sexual activity, you write the date on the condom.

Speaker 1 I mean, maybe it busted. It's just.
I mean, what if it busted? And it literally busted, and that's the one she kept because it busted. Yeah, but why are we trying to make sense of it?

Speaker 2 Why are we trying to make sense of any of this?

Speaker 1 I don't know. I'm just the way that

Speaker 1 he is just like, oh, we talked about it. It's all good now.
They're made for each other.

Speaker 2 He's Twitter paid. He's going to start his own box now.
That's the next update that's coming.

Speaker 1 Also, how do you go from like, hey, babe, I know you were trying to keep my toenails and toothbrush and hair and q-tips to feel close to to me. But next time, keep a movie stub.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and I'm satisfied because you're going to throw them all away.

Speaker 1 Great.

Speaker 1 Never happens.

Speaker 1 Not throwing it away. Wait, she said she's going to throw them away.
Yeah, she's not. No, she's going to hide it in the floorboard.
Oh,

Speaker 1 just collect more.

Speaker 2 All of a sudden, I have

Speaker 1 a feeling to check all our floorboards at home. This is so.

Speaker 1 Oh my gosh, Justin.

Speaker 1 This is not.

Speaker 1 I just don't understand how how he's just like, oh, she wanted to feel close to me. Okay.
Like,

Speaker 1 this is,

Speaker 1 even if that is exactly the case, there's still something really off with this. You should look into this further.

Speaker 1 Yeah. She,

Speaker 1 I mean, clearly there's people out there that have like kleptomania. Yeah.
Right. Like, Lauren, you dealt with something.
Like, it honestly reminds me of what you dealt with more than anything.

Speaker 1 Someone who just has an issue with truly stealing for the sake of stealing. Yeah.
Whether it's,

Speaker 1 I don't know, like, I think a lot of people have different reasons for their kleptomania, but it's, I think it's more of an impulse thing.

Speaker 1 Like rather than like a hateful thing or spiteful thing or like trying to like screw someone over, I think it's more of just like an impulse. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I think that might be what this is. The thing that freaks me out is the fact that she then said,

Speaker 1 oh, I might be pregnant. Yeah.
And that's the condom. Yeah.
For me, I'm suspicious that that she didn't pull that condom out of the trash and go gird it up into her cervix.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because otherwise, like, unless that would make

Speaker 1 more sense, truly broke, and you're like,

Speaker 1 She squeeged it, she squeezed it,

Speaker 1 but I don't know. This is crazy, this would have been a leave-it for me.
But we have no updates after that. OP has since deleted his account.
Oh, yeah, and we will never know. This original post.

Speaker 1 It's probably ever after. And it's

Speaker 1 OP didn't delete his account. His partner did.

Speaker 1 Original post.

Speaker 2 And he's gone now, too.

Speaker 1 Oh, God. He's missing.
Oh, my God, you guys. Original post is from March 3rd, 2019.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 I don't think you're. You brought us back.
How did you come across this?

Speaker 1 Best of Redditor updates from my amazing friend, Direct Caterpillar77. Nice.
Love you. Very direct.
Oh my gosh. I actually have like a couple of

Speaker 1 stories that people have wanted me to send to you. Well, let's go.
Bring them over to Patreon. I'll let you read them even.
I need to look through them.

Speaker 1 I honestly

Speaker 1 have been having so many people reach out lately and it's been so fun, but then I just, I

Speaker 1 don't get to all of them.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And it makes me sad because I'm like, I want to interact with everyone, but I've just, I've been, I've been so busy.
And then, but I love, I love hearing from people. It makes me so happy.

Speaker 1 So I'm like, I want to respond to everyone, but it's just

Speaker 1 a lot gets lost in DMs. And like stuff gets like not shown to me.
Like I had to like dig to find like a couple positive messages that people were like,

Speaker 1 hey, like on Patreon, they were like, hey, did you see my DM? And I'm like, no. And I had to go into like.
Not even like message requests, but like hidden message requests.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, I know it's, it's kind of confusing. It's a lot.
It's, it's a lot and a lot gets lost in the sauce. Like honestly, the best way to like connect with me has been like Patreon.

Speaker 1 Like I love the chat. Like I love group T where we get to like hop on with people and we have like a Zoom call and we like all connect face to face.
Like that is really, really special.

Speaker 1 But yeah, we can, I think

Speaker 1 let's do that. We'll do a Patreon episode and you will read everyone.
Okay. I'll take a I'll take a night off.
Love it.

Speaker 1 I was also thinking, I'm like, I want to have like one day, like a one like random Sunday where I'm just like, I'm like, I'm here in the DMs. Like, I'm here all day, baby.
Come get me.

Speaker 1 Patreon group T.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Let's go.
Yeah. We can chat.
Yeah. But because people share so many fun things in there, like truly, I, I love hearing from everybody.
It's amazing. So go DM Lauren.

Speaker 1 Overwhelm her with even more love. I know it.
I literally, I love it. I just like feel so bad when I don't

Speaker 1 respond. Yeah.
I want to, cause I want to respond to everyone. I know.

Speaker 1 How How are we feeling? Are you feeling the love? Are you feeling the leave-it?

Speaker 1 I feel. We didn't get a lot of love.
There wasn't, this wasn't really

Speaker 1 very calm. Even the love, even the earring ones, I'm like,

Speaker 1 you kind of, you kind of did a leave it episode.

Speaker 1 Some people might love it, though. Some people might love their way through it.
Yeah. I don't know.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But that's all I got. Thank you guys so, so, so much for being here.
Another episode. Head over to Patreon.
February is full of fun, amazing content. Lauren's going to be on a full bonus episode.

Speaker 1 She's going to be reading them.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to say a word during the readings. Oh, man.
Take it away, Lauren. But there's a couple free bonus stories for February and a full bonus episode with me and Justin.

Speaker 1 Really good stories and always going down in the group group chat. So head on over to Patreon.
But other than that, until next time, until next time.

Speaker 2 Until next time.

Speaker 1 Bye, guys.