194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian

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Are you ready? I'm ready. Okay, we're rolling on everything.
Thank you so much for coming in and joining me. Of course.
Thank you for having me. I'm really excited.
This feels iconic. I'm like sitting here.
I'm like, God, your makeup is even better in person. Shut up.
It's not that good. It's so good.
I feel like I'm a Monet. Like when you like, yeah, from far away, I look really good.
And then up close, it's like, girl. No, I hugged you.
I'm like, your pores, you have none. Where are they? Really? Thank you.
I tried really hard. What primer did you use? Today, I used Milk Makeup.
They came out with, you know their Hydro Grip? I have the grip, yeah. Yeah, so they have a bronzing one that I'm kind of obsessed with.
You just put it all over your face before your foundation, and you look flawless. I'm obsessed with it.
Add to cart. I know, because Samora had that sale so I wasn't gonna pay full price.
No no. So I waited for the sale and then I got it.
I love that. Well if you haven't recognized her amazing voice and beautiful face yet today we are joined by Bailey Sarian.
Hi. But I am so excited to have you.
I have been watching your videos for a while now and I just watched your recent one about the lady who had Otto in the attic for 10 years. For 10 years, she had a quote unquote sex slave in her attic.
I was losing my mind. Me too.
And it just kept getting worse and worse. And I'm like, and you have Otto up there still and you got a new guy i'm like what what is this i know i felt so bad because the guy like she never let the guy out of the basement and then he in court he was like well i wanted to be in the basement and i was like did you did you though like what's going on he got like psychologically and then he was given the nickname bat boy because he late he lived in the attic i know and he would only come down to clean the house cook and then have sex and then he would go back in the attic and honestly like on a bad combo if it's consenting yeah if both parties are consenting i would say that's a dream relationship honestly the link for that one will be in the description, you guys, because it's so good.
But you have such amazing content, and I'm really excited for these stories today and to get your takes on them. The theme I have, working on the title, guys, we'll see what it is when it comes out, but it's like, can they make up? Is there any chance of making up here? Because you know makeup.
You know,

we got some makeup. We got some true crime.
Yeah. We got some crazy relationship stuff that

we'll see if they can make up. I love that connection.
That's good.

It's going to be a first one. If you went to our LA live show, it might sound a little familiar, but I'm like, it's so good.
I can't keep it in the vault forever. So it's coming from Am I the Asshole, a month old, titled, Am I the Asshole for continuing to wear makeupup and Dress in My Normal Style Around a Friend Who Thinks Her Husband Has a Crush on Me.
My 29 female friend, 31 female, has told me that her husband, 35 male, has a crush on me and has recently told her that he fantasizes over me. This already makes me feel very awkward, but now she asked me if I can stop wearing makeup and wear baggy clothes around him.
We went out for dinner last night at a reasonably expensive restaurant with a few others, seven of us in total, and she texted me when I got home saying she was angry at me for, quote, looking hot after she asked me not to wear makeup. She's my friend, and I want to do the right thing, but there's nothing I could wear that is baggy that would have suited the restaurant we were in, Michelin star.
My style is very conservative, and I wear a very average dress with heels. I've written out several responses ranging from an apology to being quite rude, but I wanted to sense check my thoughts here before I go back to her.
I don't want to make life difficult for her, but what she's asking for feels unreasonable. Am I the asshole? She's not the asshole.
No, that's so uncomfortable. That's very uncomfortable.
I feel bad for her. My skin crawls.
Why is your skin crawl? Just like, can you imagine your partner going to you and saying, your friend, I have fantasies about her. I'm like, that's an inside thought.
I know. That's a diary.
Get a diary, honey. That's not something you share.
It's like, are you trying to bring my self-esteem down to like, what's the purpose behind that comment? I'm not sure. I don't like it.
That's uncomfortable. Yeah.
I'd be pissed off. I'd be so pissed.
But I wouldn't be mad at the friend. No.
And I would not ask the friend to change her appearance or anything about her. Like, she's your friend for a reason.
I would not ask my friend to change anything about herself. That's your husband needs to be in check or your partner.
Yeah. It's so odd.
And I'm like, I get being in a bad relationship where it's like you feel like the only person you could control is your friend versus the husband but like you said it's not your friend's problem like no get your husband in check get your husband in check what's he doing that's conversation I think they need to sit down and talk about not the friend uh the girl and her husband yeah and kind of figure out like is there something missing are you feeling a? Do you want to be with her? Because if you do, go ahead. Like, we don't have to be together.
Yeah. You know, like that's between them.
It's leave the friend out of it. Oh, my God.
But if I was the friend and my friend had asked me to like change how I – my makeup, my hair, my outfits, I'd probably just cool it and just not go around as much. It's kind of just

weird. Yeah.
I definitely wouldn't feel comfortable going over to her place anymore. Right.
Especially

if he's going to be there. Right.
Just be weird. There's no way.
No. No way.
Top comment on this

one. Total not the asshole.
For one thing, I don't think it's possible to dress appropriately

for a nice restaurant without looking hot to someone who already finds you attractive. And more generally, as long as you're not hitting on the husband or intentionally dressing provocatively to catch his attention, which it sounds like you're not, then this is a her problem, not a you problem.
Here's another point. Why on earth did she tell you that her husband has the hots for you completely inappropriate that's something to be handled within the marriage agree as you said yeah it's super awkward like putting your friend in a really weird position hey my my husband thinks you're hot.
Okay.

All right.

Thanks.

I don't know what to say to that.

Unless like they're trying to have a threesome or something.

But I don't know.

Really odd.

I guess she just wants her friend to be like a little house on the prairie or something.

Like what is she supposed to wear?

I don't know.

What do you want her in? A trash bag?

Come on.

No, because that's even that shows a little leg.

Oh, right.

So you have to do something that's fully covered, like two braids and then pin them up.

No makeup.

Churn in some butter.

Usually that he might not want her then.

Honestly, I could see a bonnet coming into play because he can't show that either.

Yeah.

So she should have wore that to the dinner.

Shut up. That would have been way more respectful.
Yeah, what a bitch. OP responds to that top comment.
Thank you for your response. Added a not safer work because of the fantasy bit, but then chose not to elaborate on that part, so I've removed it now.
I'm not sure why she told me either. The first time she said it was cute that he had a crush on me, and then she started getting a bit more detailed about it.
Ew. Maybe it was some kind of proposition.
Like, hey, like to see how she felt about her husband fantasizing about her. To see like, are you interested? Yeah.
Because like if you start with a crush like oh he's got a crush on you and like there's no mention of this person having a boyfriend or like whatever like no relationship so it's like maybe she was trying to broach it and now that it wasn't reciprocated is now like it's just weird well now we got to shut this down yeah like we can we can't engage. Right.
We can't encourage this crush. Maybe.
Just an idea. Just a thought.
Or the friend is just really insecure. The woman.
I could see that too. Yeah.
There's so many ways it could go. Well, we do have an edit.
Oh, yeah. We get a little bit more detail.
I love it. Thank you so much for all your responses.
It's 421 a.m. here in the UK, so I will write out and send response tomorrow and we'll update you all on here.

Sorry I can't respond to everyone.

I didn't expect so many responses.

Edit two.

While I was reading your response,

he just liked an old Instagram picture from way back.

A bikini picture.

The friend?

The friend's husband. Oh, God.
He is now blocked. Final update, edit three.
I responded with the following to my friend. Quote, sorry it's taken me a while to reply, but I wanted to consider this properly and not react emotionally.
I'm sorry you feel that way, but I don't think it's fair or reasonable to ask me to change how I look because of your husband. My advice is to speak to husband's name and work on your relationship because projecting your issues onto me isn't going to help you, but it will damage our friendship.
You have nothing to be insecure about. You're the most beautiful person inside and out that I've ever met.
I'm here for you if you want to talk through it. But ultimately, I can't help it if I'm smoking hot.
Just kidding. XXX.
Oh, my God. Okay, that was a very adult great response.
I love that. I need to, like, capture some of this, like, calm.
It's calm. Mature, kind.
It's mature. It's kind.
It's like, hey, this isn't me. This is you.
Yeah. Without being a bitch.
That was really good. Take notes, everyone.
Take notes. That's how you do it.
Five minutes after I pressed send, she knocked on my door. Shut up.
She was already on her way. Showed up with a bunch of flowers and cried and gave me a hug while apologizing She told me they were having problems and it was wrong of her to take it out on me We had a long chat and i'm going to be there to support my friend Thank you all for your input.
You all helped so much Additional info i've had a lot of people messaging me asking if they can post my story elsewhere and a couple of reporters even. Really? Yeah.
Wild. Happy ending though.
Very nice ending. I'm glad the friendship didn't fall apart because men come and go.
Relationships come and go. Friendships.
Hopefully they can stay for a long time, you know? You hope. And I think that's why like friendship breakups, I really think they do hurt sometimes, oftentimes worse than relationship ending.
Like friendships just going to shit is like, it's so much stress. It's so sad.
It really is. It's like a chapter of your life just closed.
It is like a breakup. Yeah.
Chapter of your life closing and this person that knew everything about you and now they're just a stranger i know it's so sad but i'm glad it wasn't like that for them i know really good yeah everyone's like wait when's the other shoe gonna drop i know i'm like it it feels like too good to be true a little bit right guys yeah i'm sure there'll be an update like me and my husband got a divorce yeah and i will comes. And like, I don't wish for people's downfall, but I don't think he sounds like a great, a great guy.
He seems like he's looking. He's wandering.
His head's turning. To go like her bikini picture.
Yeah. That's creepy.
He's trying to like plant little seeds and then slide into the DMs and hope he has a target that's not going to tell his wife.

Yeah.

You can't do that with a best friend.

Dude.

Ew.

Super gross.

Ew.

This next one is coming from Am I the Asshole.

It is titled, Am I the Asshole for telling my My Brother That He and His Wife's Halloween Costumes Were Tasteless? My brother, 26 male, is super in a true crime. His wife, 24 female, humors him.
This Halloween, although they couldn't host a proper party, they dressed up as Charles Manson and Sharon Tate. Mmm.
Mmm. I told him ahead of time it would be tasteless,

and he said,

they're just costumes.

I ignored all of his posts during Halloween.

I can't explain why,

but it really, really bothered me.

Like, probably more than it should have.

I just don't think Sharon Tate should be remembered

for the way she died.

Anyways, his wife is pregnant, which is part of the reason why they did the costume in the first place. She's also blonde.
He posted a photo of her with a nosebleed and said, channeling Sharon Tate energy. And I commented on the post that he should really back the fuck off of Sharon Tate at this point.
He replied saying I'm no fun and told me to delete

my comment. He's saying it's disgusting that I tried to humiliate him over someone who's dead and that I don't even know.
He says he can see where it's offensive, but Sharon Tate won't ever see it and I should stop making such a big deal. Even if I think it's wrong, he says my comment was inappropriate.

The comment?

Am I the asshole?

The comment? Am I the asshole? The comment was inappropriate? That comment. So inappropriate.
Back the fuck off. Yeah.
Jeez. You did this to yourself, my dude.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
That one's hard because obviously I'm in the true crime world and I've come across people who dress up as serial killers all the time. Like I see that a lot.
I personally wouldn't want to do it. I don't really, I don't feel like it's right, but everyone is allowed to make their own decisions, you know? I know.
So it's like tricky. I don't know.
Like if my partner wanted to do that, I would shoot it down. This one's hard for me personally because I get it, but at the same time, I wouldn't do that.
But if someone close to me did it, I'd be like, ooh, okay. All right.
Do you think like there's a difference? Because like I think a lot of people do dress up as killers. I mean, you see it a lot too, depending on like the Netflix cycle and what's out.
Like, I feel like when that Bundy show came out, a lot of people dressed up as Bundy, like it was a big thing. But I'm wondering here if it's like, it's not so much the serial killer that's the issue, but then the victim bringing the victim into it and dressing up as like a couple costume with the victim as the wife is also pregnant, which is just like.
There's just so many other pregnancy like costumes you could do. There's so many.
There's just so many other ways this could have went. Why? Maybe they're just morbid people.
Like, does it make sense? Are they very dark, morbid people? And okay, it makes sense for them. Or is it just like out of left field they go to church every sunday and you're like what the fuck like wouldn't have seen this one coming yeah what so i don't know i don't know i know it's really really odd and like i love true crime like i am big into the podcast and all the YouTube stuff but it's like

not the victim not the victim the victim like her whole story is so sad and like I don't even know a lot about it I know you did do a video on Sharon and so I am a little uneducated in that but it's like, I feel like like posting a photo with her the nosebleed like there's so many better ways you could have gone about this costume is there a picture linked i'm so curious to see if there's a picture of the costume i wonder it depends like how gory they went with the sharon tate outfit um like if she was just pretty sharon tate like that'd be a really pretty costume. But if she added a bunch of blood and like gashes.
No. No.
It's starting to get distasteful. Yeah.
No picture. Okay, that's all right.
No picture. Top comment.
Not the asshole, in my opinion. This is making light of a murder victim.
Very tasteless indeed. To anyone saying she's dead and this happened a long time ago how would you feel if your family member was murdered and then someone dressed up as them and the person who murdered them my guess is furious livid disgusted etc and i get the killer like people dress up as bonnie and clyde time.
Like they, they went on a rampage.

They do.

Like,

I'm trying to think of like other costumes you've seen.

No,

I'm trying to think of like,

because to me,

obviously dark,

morbid person.

Um,

I think dressing up as the victims.

Yeah.

Not cool.

I'm trying to think if there's like one specifically that's standing up with

their knees. And I think that that's probably Sharon Tateate's pretty bad because usually everyone dresses up as the killer that's yeah i think that kind of makes sense and even like i don't know what we're doing for movie killers like i i got a lot of trick-or-treaters this year it was like the highlight of my year but i saw a lot of chuckies a lot of um i don't remember the mask guy, Freddie, Jason.
Both of them have masks, maybe. Freddie, well, no, he has like the hands.
Okay. Jason has a mask.
Okay. I saw a lot of him.
Michael Myers has a mask. Okay.
And I saw a lot of the Scream, like vintage Scream stuff. So I'm like, that.

But those are movies.

I'm like, that makes sense.

I'm like, those are movies.

I don't know when it starts to get to real people and they're not 100 years old.

But I saw something recently where people were dressing up as like Titanic victims.

Okay, yeah.

That's kind of.

Well, okay.

It's funny you say this because I was just having a conversation about the Titanic Museum. And there was this one where I used to live that would have a – you know those like blow-up jumpy things? Oh, my gosh.
Yeah. So it would have a blow-up jumpy thing, but it was shaped as the Titanic like sinking.
So you would go to the top and you slide down like you're you're like. No.
Yes. Like the Titanic was sinking and you slide down on this.
Oh, it's 100 percent real. And I was like, you know, I just don't know if that's the way this one.
It's very fucked up. I'm like.
Oh, my God. Like there's kids going down it yelling and screaming and like, yay.
And it's like, you know. Is it too soon? I don't think it's too soon.
It's just like. Still 100 years later.
This historic event that happened where a lot of people died. If we're recreating it or like.
That. You know, it's that part.'s that part well and it's like okay put it into perspective of like another huge tragedy like would you see a 9-11 bounce house i i mean maybe in like 20 years but for now like if we did it would be not well received no it'd be on sight yeah so whenever i would see that titanic thing it was just like oh oh mixed mixed feelings mixed feelings indeed kind of want to go down it try it once yeah and then i'll judge i just want to see what it was like oh we had someone um it's a Reddit story from ages ago, but they had a Titanic themed wedding.
Oh. Yeah, it was a confusing thing.
Did everyone die at the end? No elaboration on the theme from what I remember, but there was some issue. The fiance was like, my partner wants this theme and I'm uncomfortable.
And I don't know if they went through with it. I don't know if we ever got an update, guys.

I don't know if that, I wouldn't label it Titanic thing.

Maybe it's, what was that era?

Golden, it was the Gilded Age.

Yeah.

So it's like Gilded Age thing.

That would be a great theme.

Right.

Not Titanic thing.

I know.

That's kind of weird, but live your life, I guess.

To each their own.

You know?

Okay.

I love a theme.

I love a theme.

This next episode is brought to you by the Live your life, I guess. To each their own.
You know? Okay.

I love a theme.

I love a theme.

This next one, she's got a theme in her life.

Really?

I don't know if you're going to love it.

So, this next one is coming from A-I-T-A-H, another form of Am I the Asshole, basically.

It's two months old, titled, Am I the Asshole for Hating My Wife's Creepy Project? Okay, this sounds insane, but I swear my wife is a totally normal person otherwise, which makes this so strange to me. For context, we're both in our late 30s and live in a pretty typical suburban neighborhood where we all know each other.

My wife has always loved trashy movies and shows about infidelities, and she eats up true crime about spouses killing their cheating partners, too. She just says something about it makes her morbidly fascinated, in her own words.
Well, a couple of months back, we had a scandal in our neighborhood where a married couple in the neighborhood divorced because the husband cheated. No, there wasn't a murder or anything like that, but she became obsessed with learning every detail from every neighbor.
No matter the occasion, be it a baby shower or cookout, she would bring it up, hoping there would be some new information. A month later is when I stumbled upon the board in her home office.
I was doing some cleaning, and I found a massive bulletin board facing away leaned up against the wall. Curiosity got the better of me, and I turned it around to find a literal fucking conspiracy board

of all of our neighbors pictures with lines of yarn connecting each other like the fucking

Pepe Sylvia meme.

I love her.

I was totally confused and asked where this was.

And she told me it was a hobby she had started recently where she would track rumors or likely candidates for the cheating board. I love it.
The yarn represented who was possibly cheating with whom. She had clearly gotten all of the images on Facebook or some social media and printed them out and even had a few sticky notes with details.
I told her this was creepy and insane, and she said maybe if I was doing it as a man, but she is just having harmless fun as a hobby, and she wouldn't be crazy and try to oust anyone based on these rumors. She just likes feeling like a detective.
She told me to view it like a creative art piece. I was still super weirded out, but I let it go or tried to.

I thought about it a lot.

Well, every now and then I admit to checking the board while cleaning.

But just a couple of days ago, I looked to see that now I was on the board with a piece of yarn attached to a neighbor's wife that I am casual friends with.

I asked her why she would add me if she thought I was cheating,

and she said that was a different yarn color for potential matches for cheating.

She said if it makes me feel better, she was planning on adding herself to the board soon.

Well, I got pissed and kind of lost my temper about it.

I told her to get rid of the board or our marriage will be in trouble. Things have been super rocky

since. Sorry for the long post.
I'm starting to feel bad and it hit me more than usual this

morning. Should I apologize to her? And before you ask, no, I don't suspect her of cheating.

Honestly, I wish she was because it would at least make more sense than this am i the asshole that's a hard one this is quite the hobby i don't think i don't think he's the asshole only because he's concerned and he's bringing it up to his wife. Yeah.
As you should. I think you're allowed to say how you're feeling.
Oh, totally. Like, hey, this is a little weird.
Yeah. But like.
A little creeped out. Yeah.
As someone who is, I'm not nosy, but I do like to investigate. Oh, I'm nosy.
Yeah. I'm so nosy.
And if she's living in the suburbs, I don't blame her. No.
There's nothing to do. No.
So you start watching your neighbors and you get to know them and then you start creating, I don't know, a little database. I watch my neighbors now.
I feel like I don't blame her. I'm like, what are they doing down there? He's got that sign in his yard.
The other neighbor across the street did a big banner for retaliation they're at war he put a camera on the street side now yeah my neighborhood is like filled to the brim with tea like this i get it completely me too would i make the board i don't know would he would you make the board i would make the board only because I'm psycho like that I'm a very visual person so I need to see everything but I feel like look they should compromise she can still have her hobby and have her little detective work going but instead of a board maybe put it into a notebook write down everyone's name and just keep it more private it doesn't need to be displayed out in the house and get a little it just like yeah it sounds like something that she's doing for fun um and treat it like a little personal diary what would happen if a neighbor came over and saw the board god how embarrassing you'd have to move you literally to move. Or make up some weird lie that you're now going to have to keep up forever about what you're doing and yeah.
Oh my gosh. So I think the board's a little much.
Maybe just like copy it into a notebook. But let her keep doing it.
Or a Google Doc. It's keeping her busy.
I know.

There's other hobbies too.

She can – pottery's fun.

Pottery.

Pottery's fun.

I want to get into sewing.

It's on my list.

Sewing's so fun.

It's on my list.

Yeah.

She could do that.

There's a lot.

There's a lot.

But I guess my biggest question is what's her end goal?

That is – yeah.

Like she's getting all the pieces and stuff. Like what is she doing with this information?

Thank you. I guess my biggest question is what's her end goal? That is, yeah.
Like she's getting all the pieces and stuff. Like what is she doing with this information? Well, do you also kind of find it weird where, I don't know how he got to this point, but he even kind of said, and before you ask, no, I don't suspect her of cheating.
My mind didn't go there. So I'm curious why his went there.
And it's like, did he kind of ponder like maybe she's making this board to detract, like to kind of take the heat off her? Like if there's strings and, oh, you're on the board, babe, to the neighbor that you are friends with and I'll put myself on the board soon it is interesting where it's like is this a part of a whole elaborate scheme to maybe hide an affair because i didn't go there i didn't go there either i'm like i'm very surprised he did yeah me too but i guess maybe he's thinking like she's setting this all up or maybe he's thinking what other people might be thinking yeah is that she's setting this all up to make sure like who knows what and is it going to get back to yeah to her and her husband or something but i don't think that's the case like if you're having an affair you're not doing you're not doing that much i feel like you wouldn't make it so like a billboard like this is a board in your home like right are you're gonna connect the dots for him yeah to take the heat off yeah so i'm like that i don't think he's having an affair that would be another level of gaslighting to like literally put your affair on the board with a yarn string connecting that'd be insane that'd be kind of fun that'd be insane top comment on this. I really couldn't see it getting weirder until she mentioned adding herself to the board.
This is a strange game your wife's playing, and it seems like an unhealthy obsession with infidelity. Right? This is her way of admitting to cheating? I'm so confused.
So other people in the comments are kind of making that she's cheating. I guess.
And next comment is I'm thinking more fantasizing about doing it. If she was actually doing it, she wouldn't need this creepy hobby to keep her occupied, which is what you said.
Like, you're kind of like if she was having an affair, like she wouldn't be doing all of this. You wouldn't be doing that.
And you would get a diary. You wouldn't make a big, like you just said, billboard in the house of, like, your affair.
Yeah. I don't think she's having an affair.
I think she's bored. I really think she's bored.
And she found something, like, exciting going on. Yeah.
Everyone's having an affair. And there's probably, like, little lies and little stories.
And she's just piecing it together. Oh, my God.
If anything, she should write some kind of gossip blog. A book.
A book. A book.
Something. A TV show.
It's giving Desperate Housewives. Yeah, Suburban Housewives.
Like, come on. I love that shit.
It could be so good. It could be really good.
So maybe they should, he, the partner should nurture it so she could write a book and do something with that information that she's collected. Could buy you a bigger house in a nicer neighborhood.
or maybe she's gathering blackmail to use against all of her neighbors just in case something happens well because if you got dirt on everyone then they're not going

to rat you out to hoa oh my gosh i have horror i've got i have hoa horror stories too yeah i

have horror stories i paid for trauma oh my god it's insane what people do with hoas it's

Thank you. I have HOA horror stories too.
Yeah, I have horror stories. I paid for trauma.
Oh my God. It's insane what people do with HOAs.
It's nuts. Fuck HOAs.
But we have an update on this one. Oh, okay.
Great. I know.
I love this. I know.
Anyways, Jesus Christ. Firstly, appreciate all of the concern and not the assholes.
It gave me the courage to approach her and tell her that while I may have overreacted by threatening our marriage, I think it is a creepy thing to do. She apologized and said she would get rid of the board.
I thought we were good. Literally two days later, two days later, shit hits the fan.
Our happily married next door neighbor finds a woman's bra under the bed that does not belong to her. It doesn't take long for the whole neighborhood to find out.
Well, my wife is giddy, like jumping up and down for joy. She shows me the board, which she still didn't trash like she promised.
And of course, the husband was marked with yarn, meaning he was likely to cheat. She told me the board was accurate after all, and maybe she should keep her hobby around.
I was definitely suspicious, so I looked at the board again later. It looked different from the last time I saw it, before the latest scandal.
Instead of the yarn connecting to another neighbor, the cheating husband's yarn connected to a post-it with a question mark. Firstly, it was the only question mark there, and I swore it wasn't there the last time I saw the board.
So either she changed it after the cheating to prove a point or slightly before it happened, which made me even more suspicious either way. Now, I felt like I was the detective and I was going crazy.
I went over to the cheating husbands to ask a few questions. The wife was staying at her parents, so it was just the two of us.
I asked him if he actually did it, and he said no, he would never. Then I asked if my wife had been over recently.
He said one day while you were at work, his wife asked her to water a plant they had while they were both away and told her where the key was. So yes, she had been over.
Is she planting all of this? I immediately raised an eyebrow. I asked if he still had the bra, and he was getting nervous and told me not to get the wrong idea.
I said, don't worry. He still had the bra, and I looked at it.
It's his wife's. It was my wife's bra.
But one I knew she almost never wore because it was from a lingerie set I bought her one Christmas and she said it was uncomfortable. I told my neighbor I needed to talk to my wife and ran out, but I told him not to worry.
I approached her with the bra and asked her what was going on. She played stupid, but I told her to cut the BS.
I asked if she had either cheated on me with him or planted it there. Either way, she was in trouble.
She confessed to planting the bra and said it was to make me admit that her hobby was valid or something. Oh my god, she was dedicated I flipped out on her I said this was worse than her cheating on me because instead of ruining just our marriage She ruined our neighbors and ours I demanded she call the wife and admit to everything even sending pictures of the board I even showed the reddit post which actually helped convince Her that my wife had planted it rather than cheating with her husband.
Well, they made up, but now I have no idea what to do. I'm barely speaking to my wife and it is only a matter of time before the entire neighborhood figures this out.
I seriously need advice. Yeah, he does.
You gotta move. If he sent pictures of that board to the wife oh no that revet like that i would spread around i would post it on the neighbor's app i would print it and put it on flyers on every telephone pole like we have we have a problem with this little board making like yeah the revenge is gonna come what is she doing hot at first i was supportive of her now i'm very sad for her because i don't know what she's doing i don't know it's like why would she why would she plan that just to prove a point but that's going really really really far it's like girl was mental illness? I'm so— Is mental illness in the room with us right now? Like, I don't—yeah, I don't know.
Because what would—are you that bored? Are you that bored to ruin other people's lives? That's where I draw the line. I need more information.
How much money do these people make each year? Do they have kids? Do they live in the suburbs? Is she just a rich, bored housewife who wants to shake things up? Or is she like literally just kind of a little psycho? A screw is loose. Uh-huh.
And maybe like when they show you a red flag, sometimes it's a... It's a billboard instead.
Yeah. Yeah.
it's a billboard. I don't know.
But do you dump your whole marriage over that? We just need more information. I know.
I feel like you'd have to go to therapy. Individuals therapy for her.
Because I do think the board could have been just a fun hobby, but to take it to this level is deranged.

Now it's psycho.

Yeah. It's a lot.

It's a lifetime movie in the making.

Yeah.

And so it's like,

it could have been,

it could have been cool.

And like,

there's so many people that obviously like are very into true crime and,

you know,

cheating scandals and all this stuff.

But like,

I feel like there's a better way to pursue this hobby or get involved and volunteer your time with some organization, you know, maybe interviewing people or doing something. But to take it this far to then like frame someone.
Yeah, that's weird. That's where it's like it's getting really weird.
Like you're kind of inching towards territory where like you want to try a crime just to see if you can get away with it. Yeah.

And there's,

there's there is a true crime like that that like there's lots of true crimes like that where they try yeah i feel like it happened recently where it was like a young college kid and he wanted to see if he could get away with murder and just like killed someone. Really?

Maybe it's an episode coming soon for you.

Yeah.

Depends which one.

Which one.

Are you sure it's the Idaho murders?

Not the Brian guy.

Yeah.

Because he was.

Like studying to be a forensic.

Yeah.

Terminology.

And like here's how I would do it.

Did that case end? No. It's happening right now yeah so we'll see he's creepy looking if you do a side-by-side of him and um uh bundy identical identical oh yeah now psychotic how much they look alike same eyes same nose same mouth it's bizarre then i went down

this rabbit hole about like certain face shapes and features and how they correlate oh my god they look so alike the eyes and the hollowed yeah like hollowed deep socket eyes yeah i was reading about how certain features are shown in serial killers yeah i'm also like it's just a study that's

being done, you know? But I found that really interesting because you can see it in that picture where it's like, oh, okay, now show me another killer with those same eyes. Yeah.
Because they always have the same like sunken crazy eye. It's so interesting.
I just fell down the rabbit hole of that one artist.

He's the artist behind like ballerinas being jack the ripper what oh you are going to eat this up okay i think it's daga daga yeah so edgar daga uh-huh so he had this disease actually. And there's a whole, I'll send you a TikTok and you're just literally going to go down the rabbit hole.
But it starts out as like this woman saying, I think Degas is actually Jack the Ripper. Here's why.
He would one, be obsessed with ballerinas who oftentimes were prostitutes and other jobs that were prostitutes like wash maidens and stuff like that. And all of Jack the Ripper's victims were women of the night or I'm butchering this.
Yes. And so she was like, he never wrote letters.
But during the time of these killings, he randomly wrote a letter to someone about a dinner he had.

He was antisocial.

He didn't write letters. He happened to take random day trips to London to visit a friend and then would disappear.
All of these correlations. And then he had this disease where he lost his vision.
But another correlation with this disease is the gray matter behind your eyes really decreases.

And if you do brain scans of a lot of serial killers,

the gray matter behind their eyes

doesn't have a lot of activity.

And there's so many different correlations

and it's just really, really crazy.

I love that.

You're going to, I 100% think it was him.

Really?

Yeah, 100%.

Thank you. And it's just really, really crazy.
I love that. You're going to, I 100% think it was him.
Really? Yeah. 100%.
I wish we could know for sure. I know.
It's one of those things. I don't think we'll ever know for sure.
No. Yeah.
No. I'm like, there's no DNA at this point.
No. Like when the women got murdered, they were like hosing down the sidewalks.
Which is wild to think of now like the times yeah and they were just like they had nothing to go on no dna fingerprints like how did you solve mysteries back then is what i'm impressed with some sherlock holmes shit uh-huh they didn't scooby-doo it i would not i think oh god it's just crazy and then just the way you got like taken out if you were guilty like firing squad hanging crazy this got real dark yeah i got started in my life anyways that wife um anyway hopefully she's not likece worthy. Like, where do you where would you go from there? I don't know, because at the end of the day, relationships aren't so black and white.
Like, has it been a happy, wonderful marriage all the way up until this one point? If that's the case. Right.
Has there been weird little things she's gone into all throughout the marriage and it's just like, okay, this is another weird little thing she's fucking doing.

Then maybe.

Yeah.

Okay.

You know, like.

Just another ADHD hobby.

Yeah.

You know, like, or if like she's just a weird person and this is just another weird thing and you can't take it anymore, then maybe it's time for you to leave.

I don't know.

I don't like to tell people what to do.

But I think they should listen to their gut. Their intuition is always correct.
I don't know if men have an intuition though. I always wonder that because I feel like we as women are trained to listen to our gut way more.
I feel like our safety is like you have an experience every day where at least I do or I'm also paranoid, but you kind of look over your shoulder a little bit and like you have to be more on edge walking at night is a little scary I don't think a lot of guys have that same gut instinct or like fear I don't know I don't know either I'm curious we should put a poll yeah do you have um intuition let us know I'm sure they do in different ways. Yeah.
I don't know. I mean, he had a hunch about this.
He got paranoid. He's like, he heard this cheating scandal pop up and he knew.
He goes, something's fishy here. Something is fishy now that she planted that.
Maybe. So...
What if she didn't actually plant it? But didn't she say she did? What if she's lying?

Why would she lie?

She's having an affair?

What if she's lying?

I don't I don't know

I'm like this lady is on

She's a little unhinged

She's

Look

For us

What if they were actually sleeping together?

And now

He just got the wife

To take him back?

Oh I lied?

Mm-hmm

Mm-hmm

Mm-hmm

The board

The whole board was a scheme?

I have a scheme. I feel like she would have said something.
Someone would have cracked. Right? I personally would have cracked.
I don't have a poker face. Me neither.
I would have cracked. Me too.
I think she had something against that neighbor. Maybe she wanted the husband.
So she broke him up. She's playing the long game.
She's playing the long game. She could be there for him when he's sad.
Shoulder to cry on. Don't worry.
I'll keep watering your plants. So maybe she was doing that.
But it doesn't make sense with the whole board of it all. No.
It's too obvious then. So.
I don't know. Get her on the line.
Let's ask her what she's doing. Pull it up.
Top comment on this one. I honestly refuse to believe this is real.
Your wife is actually nuts. This is insane behavior to have.
Next comment. I was thinking just the opposite.
This one is so original. It's got to be real.
No AI is going to come up with this insanity. That's left to humans.
Yeah, it's true. Have you had any true crime things come up on your channel where you've had elaborate cover-ups like this? Like hiding a bra? Hiding a bra or just the weird map or what's the craziest thing you've seen someone do to erase their tracks i feel like women are usually the ones who do crazy stuff right um so there was this one story i did about this lady she was like considered the original catfish this is when aol aol first came out and she was going into those chat rooms and like catfishing people telling them she had lots money.
She was going to take care of them. She was still married.
But she had like three different boyfriends. One was in Reno.
One was in some other state. Whatever.
And she had like a list or a chart and like who she was in that relationship type of thing like a whole dictionary of like this is what i told him this is she would reference it my god and then eventually one of the boyfriends she had told him that she was in an abusive uh marriage and she couldn't be with him because her husband was gonna kill her or whatever yeah So then the side boyfriend decided, well, I'm going to kill him. So he like drove hundreds of miles, went, killed the husband because he thought she was in an abusive marriage and everything just came falling apart.
She wasn't in an abusive marriage. This guy was just like, he had no idea idea his wife had all these girlfriends he just thought she was on AOL trying to like uh look up antique doll stuff because it was new the internet you know so he was just like oh I thought she was just doing like antique doll stuff this poor man and then he actually got he actually got killed he got killed.
He got killed because this lady just wanted attention. Poor thing.
Creating all these stories. Sorry, I keep hitting the mic.
She was creating all these stories and then it blew up in her face. So, you know, maybe going back to that previous story, it's like, why would she create this chart and all that i guess this is

kind of a perfect example of yeah maybe she was doing that creating a chart that she could follow and like i don't know i don't know women lady lady killers or we're a little crazy i'm just i'm sitting here i need a minute we're a little crazy we like to take notes where visual people

guy killers just kill

that's so crazy

we make charts sitting here. I need a minute.
We're a little crazy. We like to take notes.
We're visual people. Yeah.
Guy killers

just kill.

That's so crazy. We make charts.

Pie chart.

Okay. One thing

I haven't done is look and see if there's

any comments from OP.

We have an update.

A final update. We have a final update

on this guy. It was posted

four hours ago. Oh, shit.

Four hours ago now.

Thank you. We have an update.
A final update. We have a final update on this guy? It was posted four hours ago.
Oh, shit. Four hours ago now.
Oh, God. When was it originally posted? Originally posted two months ago.
Oh, wow. So things really played out quickly.
I'm scared. Final update.
I hope. It's been months since the last update.
Sorry I've been busy. Long story short, my wife is in a mental health facility.
Mental illness is in the room. You called it.
You called it. I'm so scared.
Good for her. Let her make those charts in her facility.
I think we're good here, folks. Bye.
After what happened previously, I did not speak to my wife for a while. I tried to stay working or out of the house as often as I could.
Well, a few weeks passed and time made it seem like less and less of a big deal. Finally, my wife offered to take me out to a very nice restaurant and make things up to me.
She told me everything was behind her. And while I was avoiding her, she had actually started online therapy to get help and realized now that what she did was

wrong. I really believed her, and we had a great night.
One thing led to another, and yeah, lol.

I took about two days after that for her to get a pregnancy test, and she texted me the positive

result. Yeah, I know, some of you already think I'm a fucking moron, but it had been a rough year, and this made me really happy.
I started getting very excited. We started talking about turning my home office to a baby room, looking up ways to prepare, book appointments, planning a shower, etc.
A really fun but whirlwind week. Unfortunately, she told me the first ultrasound was at a time I had to be at work and she would have to go alone.
Really bummed me out and I asked her to reschedule, but she said it was the only availability. Well, that next week she went and I was waiting for an update, a picture, anything, nothing.
she came home and was super quiet, and I flipped out and got super worried that the worst has happened. I told her I understood she was probably in a lot of pain and something, but she told me she had to tell me something.
She finally admitted, no, she wasn't dealing with losing the baby, but she was actually pregnant for longer than she thought longer than the last time we did it uh-oh she actually got pregnant during the time i was avoiding her what do we think the neighbor oh how are we going back to the neighbor? Ma'am! Obviously, I was so mad and upset. I couldn't understand why she would do this to me.
But then I realized all the signs were there for so long, and all the comments telling me she was probably cheating were right. But I tried to keep a clear head for at least a second because I really love my wife and I couldn't believe it.
I asked her who it could have been and she actually said she didn't know. She said she hadn't done it with anyone during the time I was avoiding her.
Math. The math ain't mathin'.
She swore it and also didn't know what this meant. I thought about it and realized if she was really pregnant for that long, her tummy should be showing, and it wasn't.
I decided to call the place and ask them to confirm what they said. My wife told me it would be a waste of time, and she promised she heard them clearly, so I didn't do it that night.
But I couldn't sleep without hearing it from the doctors for myself. I called the clinic she told me she went to the next day in the morning and asked them to confirm the results.
They told me

something worse than I expected. She had no visit.
She was never there. I didn't understand that at

all. Before I talked to my wife again, I did what I should have done in the first place and reverse

image search the pregnancy test image. Yeah, it was on Google from a random years old Facebook post.
I was again really mad at my wife and couldn't believe that she had put me through all of this. Damn, what is she doing? I am just, wow.
I confronted her about the picture and that I called the place and there was no appointment. I told her she had a pattern of lying and this was probably the end of our relationship, but she responded in a way I didn't expect.
She burst into tears and had a manic episode, but then said that she really had cheated on me and really was pregnant and that I had made this up in my head because I couldn't face what she did to me. She said she felt like the devil and started sobbing and literally screaming at the top of her lungs.
She locked herself in the bathroom and told me she was going to hurt herself over what she did to me. I couldn't get the door open and freaked out.
I called the cops and they broke down the door. She wasn't hurt, but she was really out of it.
They took her to get mental health help and she told them everything there. She even started mixing in stuff about the board and how she knew everyone around her was a cheater.
So she had done the same because she was in an evil place. She promised them she was pregnant, but she didn't know who the father was.
They tested her while she was in custody. No pregnancy at all.
They told me she was likely suffering from a form of schizophrenia and acted genuinely believing that what she was saying was true and likely always had to some level, but it seemed to be getting worse. They said she had a symptom called self-accusation and needed help.
I got her in a facility last week. She is safe.
They're making a little progress. I do not think that she thinks she is pregnant anymore.
I have visited a few times, but she is very withdrawn with me and says she feels too guilty to look me in the eye. I think there was definitely meddling at certain parts like planting evidence, but now I just feel terrible that I did not get her the help she needed when all the real signs were there.
I hope her medication starts to help and she can be normal again. And yeah, the neighborhood gossip is having a field day with all of this.
I bet. I bet.
Anyways, thanks for listening. I hope this is my last update.
update thank you all for the help that's sad that's sad because um at first the surface story you're like she's just being weird well I'm thinking she's being weird whatever whatever but then now that she's been yeah she's in the mental institution yeah hospital for for schizophrenia. That is.
That makes sense. That makes sense.
It does. The planting of the bra, the pregnant like it kind of kind of makes sense.
Yeah. And I feel really bad for him.
That sucks. It's got to be so hard.
They're both absolutely going through it. And, you know, I didn't jump to cheating from the jump.
Like that first post, I didn't jump to cheating. And even the second, we were kind of like, well, what is this all for still? And it does make sense, like severe mental illness.
But like him being like, I feel bad. I didn't get her the help she she needed i don't know if i would have recognized these as warning signs like no the chart yeah he shouldn't feel guilty at all no he was concerned he was concerned enough to bring it up to her yeah post it on reddit yeah so i don't feel like he should be guilty it was just he wasn't sure where to go with it.
No. You know? And like now having this whole resolution,

which,

wow.

I do think there could be a makeup here. They could mend this after a lot of therapy, medication management.
But like, I have more hope now that like she's got a diagnosis and is getting help versus where we left off on update two of, like, her just planting this just to be evil or to create chaos. Totally.
I don't know. You don't know? I mean.
There's no hope, Bailey. Bailey, there's no hope.
I doniley there's no hope i don't believe in hope um no i just it's hard because look when you get into a relationship with someone you know through sickness and in health yeah and a lot of people mean that and then a lot of people don't so i don't know like schizophrenia like if you didn't know that was coming and you don't know how to deal with it like and support your partner and be there for them i'm sure it could be a lot for someone and they might not want they he might want out i don't know i don't know i just definitely tricky it's tricky and yeah i don't know wondering. He seems so hopeful that, like, I could see him giving it a shot.
Like, poor guy. Didn't really know how ovulation and pregnancy works by the sound of it to, like, get a test a couple days later.
Like, it sounds like she kind of used his ignorance against him in that regard. Or she was just trying to get him to, like, move on, move past it.
Take me back. Yeah.
Like, see, I'm pregnant now. Like, let's move on.
It felt like one of those moves. Yeah.
And people do that. Oh, yeah.
All the time. People fake pregnancies all the time to get close to their partner or forgive me or whatever.
Like, that's not far-fetched. Yeah.
Not at all. It's sick.
It's gross. I'm like, God, what are you doing?

There's other ways.

There's other people even.

There's other people.

There's other ways to manipulate someone.

No, there's other people.

There's other ways to manipulate.

I'm like, don't fake a pregnancy test.

Oh, no.

Because then you got to do the whole like, I lost the baby and all that drama.

Oh, my God. I feel like she would have been one

to like order the pregnancy pillow too

and like fake it.

You think?

And fake it.

There was that one true crime story

about the woman who literally wore a bump,

faked it alongside her pregnant best friend,

murdered the friend.

Tried to get the baby.

And took the baby.

Yep.

Yep.

Sick. Like you just don't know where people can go.
I know. Andried to get the baby.
And took the baby. Yep.
Yep. Sick.

Like you just don't know where people can go.

I know.

And where they'll take things.

I know, right?

Because first it's a simple chart.

And now you just don't know.

You just don't know.

People surprise me every day.

Well, I'll be sure to post the link on this one.

No comments from OP on any of these posts. Hmm I don't know how old was he? So that's what I went to go look back at no mention of ages.
Oh interesting. So they could be young They could be 23.
I mean married but no mention of kids or anything yet. So I mean they could be young.
She could be you know 23 24 and having her and having her first, you know, mental break. Poor thing.
It's so scary. I can't even imagine.
I know. I can't imagine.
I hope she gets the help she needs. And I hope he moves on or moves forward with her.
Yeah. Whatever the case may be.
But I'm glad she's getting help. I am too.
Which does, the top comment does say the same thing. She was probably suffering from mental illness for a while.
The recovery will be a long process. I've been through something similar as this and finally divorced years after.
I wish you luck and advise you to get some counseling yourself to learn how to deal with this. Good luck.
Yeah. That's a lot.
It's a lot for both of them. And like,

I feel so bad for her to, to like be in this facility. And she's like, I can't even look you in the eyes.
I feel too guilty. Right.
The shame. I mean, I don't know.
Cause like, I've, uh, don't know anyone with schizophrenia, just what I've read, but like, does she know what she did i feel like based on the comment that she's not like she doesn't think she's pregnant anymore. It maybe feels like she's starting to come down to reality and kind of out of that manic episode.
God, that's scary. It's just scary.
One day you could wake up and then like your brain is just off. Dude, I am very i recognize i'm a little paranoid but like if i have a gummy some nights and i start seeing stuff i'm like this was a bad idea like this is gonna cause me to have like this is my break or like even if i don't have a gummy and i'm like walking around outside and i see something out of the corner of my eye i'm like am i okay like i't know.
Like, it would be so scary because I feel like if you were going down that mental health, like down that spiral, it's a slow burn maybe initially. It seems that way based off of what I've read.
Yeah. I'd love, I know we have a lot of listeners that have things like bipolar and I know we have some listeners with schizophrenia.
If you could comment and like provide some insight about, you know, what that looked like for you, if you're comfortable, of course, or, you know, what you see happening for this relationship. And if there's a chance of making amends, I'd love to have your takes in the comments.
It'd be really appreciated. Definitely.
Definitely. And to know how to better be supported.
Yeah. Like if your partner has schizophrenia, well, if you have schizophrenia, like how would you want your partner to support you? I'd love that.
Yeah. I'd love that.
And like, how do you wish you would have been supported during your initial, you know, psychosis? Right. That would be really helpful for a lot of people too because you know we do have a lot of people that are young and dating who knows if your partner will be affected by something like this so i know it's so scary it's so it's a lot but comment your thoughts otherwise we're moving along okay do we want to lighten the mood a little bit?

I don't know.

I like... You like this?

I like...

You like this.

Okay, well, I'm going to at least give us something a little satisfying.

I just found this subreddit.

It's the first time I think we're dabbling with this.

It's called r slash traumatize them back.

Uh-huh.

So I've got a quick one from this. Supermarket aisle earlier this evening.
I just witnessed a massacre. A 20-something man carrying a baby in a sling is trying to shop in peace, only to be accosted by an older woman.
Making eye contact with him and then me, she loudly proclaims, quote, I love to see a man doing the babysitting. Are you giving his mom a break? To which he replies, quote, I am her mom.
I just haven't had a chance to look at myself much after having a newborn. Clearly dying inside, the woman sputters, bows backwards, apologizing, and disappears around the corner.
He then casually says to me, quote, I'm her dad, really. I just don't like it when they call it babysitting.
It was legendary. Perhaps the greatest thing I've ever seen in real life.
I laughed so hard, especially when I rounded the corner and realized she had heard him, dumped her trolley, and ran out of the shop. Dads have read it.
Next time someone calls taking care of your child babysitting, follow his example. They'll never do it again.
That's pretty funny. Oh, so satisfying.
I love this subreddit. It's like Petty Revenge, but like steroids Yeah like Just little things little jobs Nothing major just something small Little Nice satisfying little one But moving along You've never heard of Cuckooed right? No This is new for me Cuckooed i'm thinking it's a term from the uk but you'll see so this post is coming from r slash legal advice uk so i would think uk term it's titled i think my neighbor has been cuckooed hi i'll try to keep this short this is in eng, by the way.
I live in a semi-detached house that's been split into two flats. I live in the upstairs one, my neighbor, an elderly woman in her mid-80s, in the downstairs one.
We're sort of loose friends slash acquaintances. I take her to bridge nights every so often, do her shopping, and she lets me use her garden when the weather is nicer or lets me get some food shopping on her card.
That kind of stuff. Every so often, I do a bit of baking and I like to take her a bit.
A slice of cake, for example. And at the end of September, when I went downstairs, an older man came to the door.
Never seen this bloke before, and he was probably 60s, not middle-aged,

but not her age, if you get what I mean, and dressed a bit weird in a blazer and tie. Was very aggressive and asked what I wanted.
I said I was here to see my neighbor, and he said in this weird faux posh accent quote Mrs, Mrs. X is not taking visitors right now, but took the cake and slammed the door in my face.
Really weird, but assumed it was her son or something. I know she has kids, but they're not in the picture.
Ever since then, things have gotten weirder. I've only seen my neighbor twice, once when she was in the garden with him and once being bundled off into a car very late at night before coming back in the early hours of the morning.
Both times she looked very uncomfortable. Over the last few weeks I've noticed the curtains are always shut and her garden is getting overgrown and untidy.
Some nights they're shouting. I can hear a male and female voice, but it's not hers.
And a few times I've seen a Filipino woman coming to and from the property. Whenever I've encountered the man, when leaving the house more or less, or seen him leaving the property, he's either blanked me or gotten very aggressive when I try to speak to him.
I once asked if my neighbor was okay, and he threatened to contact the neighborhood watch. I did contact the police on 101, and they were trying to fob me off and sort of implying because it's an older bloke and not obviously related to county lines, which I don't think it is, they're not really interested.
More or less, got told it's probably just her boyfriend and I should stop being nosy. I'm really concerned for my neighbor.
So is there any way I can get the police interested or maybe contact someone at the council? Thank you for any advice. Damn.
Cuckooed. Cuckooed.
What is cuckooed? I don't know. It sounds like conservatorship.
How old is she? No mention of our writer's age. But woman is elderly woman in her mid-80s.
The guy cuckooing is 60s. So kind of a big age gap to like be dating.
Right. Family, older brother, older mean brother who's coming in and trying to.
I don't know. I don't know either.
A lot of people were confused about the cuckooing. Yeah.
So asking, like, what is cuckooing? And OP responds, it's based off the bird from what I know. I learned about it because my sister's father-in-law is in the drugs squad and deals with it.
Basically, I'm concerned this bloke has moved in to her flat and is using it for whatever shit he's pulling. Though, funnily enough, I've never actually seen him do anything out of the ordinary beyond being a bell end and having this Filipino woman around every so often.
I'm gonna google cuckooing too one more time. I'm like, yeah, because I feel like when I've heard of reference to the cuckoo bird, I know that's where cuckold comes from, from the cuckoo bird.
Oh. Because they- In their mating dance, they cuckold one another? Well, I think, isn't a cuckold when, like, you watch someone else bang your...
Yeah. And I think it comes from the cuckoo bird.
What? Yeah. Oh, my God.
2 a.m. deep dives.
Wow. I don't remember specifically why.
I want to say because they swap partners. But I could be making all this up.
I could see that. Which makes sense.
They're not a monogamous bird. Yeah.
Hmm. Fact check me, though.
I could be wrong. But I believe it comes from the cuckoo bird.
I love finding out, like, little tidbits about weird stuff like that. Me too.
Because you're like, oh. Oh.
Okay. Okay.
Sure. I see.
I can see that. Yeah.
So the definition of cuckooing, it's a form of action termed by the police in which the home of a vulnerable person is taken over by a criminal in order to use it to deal, store, or take drugs, facilitate sex work as a place for them to live, or to financially abuse the tenant. What? Wait, what, what, what, what?

So is this like a squatter who just moves in?

It's giving like an intense squatter.

Like I know this woman,

but I'm just going to come and like move in essentially.

Oh, poor thing.

That sucks.

In her 80s?

Yeah.

How did, oh.

Can they do like a,

I don't know what the laws are out there,

but like a wellness check?

That's what I would assume.

Can't they do like an anonymous tip?

Like, hey, I don't know what the laws are out there, but like a wellness check? That's what I would assume. Can't they do like an anonymous tip? Like, hey, I think drugs are next door.
Yeah. Or something.
I'd lie. I'd start being like, I saw him cooking in there.
I saw something happening. Right.
We need investigation. And then if nothing truly came of it, then maybe just start looking in the windows.
I'd become a peeper to make sure my neighbor's okay. For sure.
I mean, her garden's overrun. The warning signs are there.
Maybe they can go next door and be like, hey, I just noticed that your garden's a little like run down. Maybe I can help you and like work on it.
And that's how you get inside. I doubt that.
You got to do something. You got to get in.
You got to get in there. Yeah, there's something going on.
Someone does recommend trying the adult social services at your local council, even if there isn't enough evidence of a crime for the police to investigate at this stage. The way she's being isolated from you is a warning sign for elder abuse.
And it definitely is. Yeah, that's there's like a lot away yeah there's a lot of like warning signs for elder abuse and i like i used to really have them locked down but like there's so many you know careers that are mandated reporters so i just start start calling a hotline get someone in there yeah get someone in there just lie and be be anonymous.
I would make up anything. Who cares if you get a ticket for a false report? He's being weird.
He's being rude. Something's not right.
You haven't seen her. You've seen her twice.
Twice. Twice.
That's crazy. Because this was originally posted October 29th.
So to see her only a couple times since September, maybe she's sick. Maybe this guy is just taking care of her.
I don't know. I'm trying to think of the best here.
For someone that doesn't believe in hope, you're being very hopeful over there. I know because I don't want to think of a poor old woman getting taken advantage of.
It's so sad. We have an update.
Oh, there's an update? Yeah. I love that.
We got an update. Okay.
Update. Hi there.
You might remember this post I made the other week about my neighbor being cuckooed. The short answer is she was, though probably not for the reasons any of us expected.
Okay. So what happened after the post? The next day, I contacted the council's MASH team as advised, and they were extremely helpful.
They were immediately concerned and said that they would be sending someone to check on her. They also asked if I could keep a diary of any events as they would like to speak to me when they do arrive, and I said I'll make a log of whatever happens.
So the week goes by and more weird stuff happens. It was all quiet.
And then on Halloween,

a group of older gentlemen come to the property and then some women who I assumed were strippers.

They show up before leaving a few minutes later, screaming at the man who's in the flat.

And he kept threatening to report them and was waving around this insect spray.

Anytime any trick-or-treaters came by, they'd get the same response.

It was really fucking weird.

On Friday night, I see my neighbor getting bundled into a minicab

and then returned early hours of Sunday in a different minicab with the old bloke screaming at the driver before he rushes her inside. Again, all very weird.
Anyways, yesterday, two social workers arrive and talk to me. I show them everything I've written and they agree this looks very much like cuckooing, but they aren't sure why this old bloke is doing it or what he's doing with the property.
Now, I wasn't there for the initial confrontation, but I know they went down to speak to him, and he immediately went on the usual spiel. I'm going to report you to the neighbor's watch, get off my property, etc.
When they weren't going, he sprayed them in the eyes with something and slammed the door shut. What? What is going on? Police and ambulance were rang and I helped them wash their eyes out.
From what I could hear when the police arrived, he tried the same bullshit with them, the spraying, not the neighborhood watch, but sounded like they tackled him and he got hauled away in

cuffs. Police found my neighbor in the property, padlocked in the box room before she was taken to the hospital.
Jesus. We did get into the property later.
And for the most part, it was how it had been left, but every door, I mean every door, had a padlock on it. I did speak to my neighbor in the hospital, her kids are coming down, and she explained to me that she met this man at her bridge club, where he claimed he was in the parachute regiment, but was now down on his luck, and asked if he could stay with her for a night or two.
Unfortunately, she had agreed. Apparently, the first evening was fine, but the next day, the moment she goes into the toilet, he attaches a padlock to it and locks her in.
Oh my god. What a psycho.
That's when the abuse started. During the time he was living there, he apparently tried to take control of the flat and her bank accounts with the goal of chucking her out.

And he would get angry and scream at her when she didn't get into him. But she refused to respond to him.
She didn't really want to say much but said he told people she was his cleaner and the cars in the middle of the night were taxis taking her to hotels

all across the region to try and get rid of her.

What?

I am not okay.

I had to leave after that,

but she said one day he had one of his little parties

and the flat was fine

from the fact someone had smeared shit on their wall. Jesus Christ.
Jesus. As for the bloke, no idea what happened and we've had all the locks changed, though we have suspicions he'll attempt to return one night.
I did hear someone try to handle to the front door. I assume they mean a crowbar.
My neighbor is going to go stay with my sister when she's discharged. And some of my bigger mates from Warhammer have offered to stay downstairs just in case.
But we'll see. Thank you all for the assistance.
You all were amazing. I showed her all the comments and she was blown away by the support.
So a huge thank you from both of us. Aw.
At least that was a happy ending. Because, look, real talk, I'm surprised he didn't murder her.
Like, the fact that he kept her around for so long. I think he would have if she would have given him banking info and all of that stuff.
Totally. I 100% think this would have turned into true crime.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
I have no doubt in my mind. Yeah, for sure.

This is coming from legal advice Reddit. This is not one of our no sleep, crazy fiction stories.
This is coming from legal advice. Imagine if this person wouldn't have had that gut instinct that something was wrong or like this could have gone so wrong thank god this little subreddit was here and they actually got like good legal advice and thank god the social workers showed up i want to know is cuckooing a like a big problem in the uk because that's wild that someone can essentially just do that but I guess couldn't you do that here too I think it does happen here right because all it takes is the kindness of someone just like hey come stay with me for the night or whatever like not a big deal and then they just lock you in your room I just dude I would she was locked She's been there for at least a month.
How come our kids didn't come check on her? That's like, that's what makes me so sad. Or how come the neighbors didn't like, didn't have family references? I don't know.
It seems like this neighbor writing in really is support. I mean, for this woman to get out of the hospital and then go live with our writer's sister, that, I mean, they sound like really close, like almost like family.
Yeah, totally. So I don't know, maybe the kids live far.
Maybe the kids live in the States, time different, who knows, but it is odd to not have talked to your mom for a month. And maybe she was allowed.
Depends, but yeah. Maybe she was allowed a phone call, but he sat there over there, like over her with like a weapon or a knife or who knows, like, you better not say anything.
Yeah. That's so scary.
I hope he got locked up. I hope so.
Which I do have hope that he did get locked up because I Googled, is cuckooing a big problem in the UK? Poor Google terms, probably. But as of May 15th, 2024, the government has finally accepted the evil practice of cuckooing.
And police now have the powers to take down cuckoers. Nice.
So laws have been changed. That's great.
Maybe it's more enforceable because otherwise, that would have been kind of an interesting thing to prosecute because it's like, well, she let me in with permission. Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm. I know here it's like squatters' rights.
I know. Which is wild that you can just move in and now you live there.

Yeah.

And like there's nothing really anybody can do.

No.

So it's nice that they at least have these laws in place that will help like remove these.

I know.

These shitty people.

I know.

I really appreciate that.

The squatter stuff in California especially is really, really crazy.

Bizarre.

Really crazy. The fact you can move in, you can just literally walk into someone's house, be like, I'm living here now.
Yeah. And just get mail sent to the house.
That's all you need. And it's your, like, you just live there.
I saw this video of a guy on TikTok who his sister had an Airbnb and the lady stayed and, like, is a squatter now. And so he moved in and is and is just like terrorizing this person.
I love it. I love that for other people.
If it were me, I would go absolutely psychotic. No, I remember my realtor kind of like just, I don't know why she told me this.
Like, I don't think it was a really a big concern. But when we got our first home, she was like, you know, I don't think this will ever be an issue.
But just so you know, technically you can close. The escrow, confusing, will fund and close the sale.
But there's nothing necessarily to force them to leave. It's your house.
If they choose to stay, they could. And you would have to get the sheriff involved to then evict them oh my gosh and i'm like what how how do they even have rights to do that and if they're not leaving why would the escrow pay that seems right like so it's a little back it's a little backwards yeah yeah definitely but It happens all the time.
It happens all the time. Yeah, it's weird.
I don't get it. I'm just.
I don't get it. I'm so glad this little lady's okay.
Me too. Yeah.
I'm so happy. Yeah, that's so sad.
Insane. Insane.
What were they doing? Did they say? Drugs? Sex? I think he just wanted a place to live trying to get her money. Jesus.
Just needed a roof over his head. Yeah.
And to like play the military card. Like you knew you were garnering sympathy.
Like maybe he was in the military. Maybe that wasn't a lie.
But I don't believe him. Not for a second.
No. I mean maybe he was.
But like yeah. Same with you.
Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
I'm pessimistic. No.
But he knew he went after her for a reason. He can tell that she was vulnerable.
Vulnerable. Bridge club.
Yeah. He went to bridge club scoping out his victim.
Yeah. So he's just going to do it again.
I know. Yeah.
If he gets out. Yeah.
I wonder how long they stay for. I have no idea how the UK works.
Insane. Right? Okay.
God. Okay.
One last one for us. This is coming from Am I the Asshole? Three days old.
Titled, Am I the Asshole for Picking Off the Nuts on an Ice Cream Cone? I'm going to say no right off the bat. Yesterday, my 20 female boyfriend, 19 male, bought us both ice cream.
When we got it, the server asked if I wanted a special type of cone. I said yes, picking out what looked to me to be bits of cookie stuck to chocolate on the cone.
My boyfriend got this as well, and it cost an extra $6 on top of the $18 already for the ice cream. He paid for it as his treat, even though I think he didn't expect it to be so expensive.
When I started to eat, I realized it was actually bits of peanut. I'm not allergic, but I don't really like nuts that much, especially on sweet ice cream when the flavors don't really match up.
I started to pick off the nuts. Most of them were stuck on pretty hard.
I eventually just ripped off the entire chocolate part of the cone and threw it into the bin. I didn't notice my boyfriend at first, but about 30 seconds later, he stormed off and I could see he was crying.
Something I haven't ever seen him do before. I chased after him and asked him what was wrong, and he yelled at me for being ungrateful and for making him literally throw away his money for no reason.
This made me very upset as well, and I started crying too. He calmed down and comforted me after this, but never properly apologized.
For additional context, earlier that day we went out to my favorite fast food place, and I picked out something that I hadn't tried before, rather than my regular. He paid for it, but I didn't end up eating it because I didn't really like it.
So I let him have it I felt hungry after that and after I told him he then took me to get the ice cream Since I got home that day. He hasn't messaged me back at all and i'm starting to get worried Am I the asshole? No She's not the asshole, but um, I think they should.
This is too emotional. I was like, am I missing something? Yeah.
Yeah, we are missing something to be young and. Yeah, 2019.
Yeah. Yeah.
No, she's not the asshole. If you don't want like peanuts on your thing, you take them off.
Yeah. It's not like she was through a hissy fit like a three-year-old and was like, oh, my God, peanuts, fuck this.
And like made it all dramatic. Yeah.
She just quietly picked them off, threw away the part she didn't want. She didn't know.
I know. For him to get up and cry over that, I personally would be like, all right, well, this has been fun.
I think, you know, good luck to you. Bye.
Yeah, like it's not that big of a deal. But to be fair, that ice cream was very expensive.
I'm like, where did they go? Coldstone probably. They're so expensive.
Oh, my gosh. Have you ever had gingers here in L.A.? No.
So, so good. Really? So good.
They have a lot of vegan options, so that's why we go there a lot. And to get like a tiny little one, I think it's like 18.
It's just like... It's ridiculous.
It's insane. I'm a good old-fashioned Ben and Jerry kind of girl.
So, you know, my favorite ice cream? Hmm. Ikea.

Really?

Yep. It's like a dollar for a cone.

$1.99, something like that.

Damn.

Members get a discount.

And it is the best custardy cone.

It's so good.

And that like, it's like that sugar cone too,

that like the ice cream soaks in

and then it gets like a little soggy.

Yeah.

But it's so good.

Best cone ever.

I also, I go to Ikea for lunch a lot too. I get the meatballs, plant balls.
Yeah. Best lunch you'll ever have.
It's so good. I avoid Ikea at all costs.
There's no windows. You go inside, there's no windows.
In the cafe, there is actually beautiful view of the mountains. You got to get there somehow.
I get, oh, I feel like a hamster in one of those mazes. I'll take you.
Anytime you want to go to Ikea, a little lunch. Ikea date? I'm ready.
It is, seriously, it's such good food, you guys. It's so slept on for a date.
It's so funny. It's so slept on.
It's okay. I'm passionate about Ikea.
Sponsorship? Not yet. I'm here, Ikea.
I'm here. That's so funny.
I would never think they have, like, well I've heard their meatballs are really good. Yeah.
I won't lie. Yeah.
And you have so many kinds. Yeah.
But when I – I believe you. Just getting there for me.
You'll take my word for it. Yeah.
Yeah. For me, it's not my favorite.
But this one, I mean, do you think they can make up or do you think like this is kind of a, is the ice cream the straw that broke the camel's back? Well, when you're young, you start to learn what's important to you and what's not important to you in relationships. And that's what's nice is that when you're dating, you get to find out things that you like and you don't like.
So for this, she and he can determine, is this something like I want to put up with? Yeah. You know, like, do I want to date someone who's going to, I don't know, every little penny he spends, like, I'm going to feel some kind of guilt if I don't eat it all.
That is a very good point. Yeah.
Like, because I've dated someone like that who just like watched every penny. And like, I love that.
Yeah. Be frugal.
Yeah. Money frugal yeah money management great smart yeah but it's like when they start making you feel guilty for every little like hey do you know how much that costs you just threw it away and it's like oh some people doesn't bother but it's like you have to figure it out like if that's something he's going to be doing is that something you want to put up with I did not even consider that.
And it's such a valuable point because that gets to be so unhealthy. And then especially if it's around food, like you don't want to instill unhealthy eating habits or, you know, cause that to domino into something else.
Oh, mic drop, Bailey. Okay.
Let's go. No, but it's like, you know, that pressure of I have to eat my whole plate because if not he's going to be upset with me or like i don't want to start a fight yeah i should just eat this and shut up it just can turn into something yeah bigger well and you shouldn't be forced to eat stuff you don't like like it's okay to get something and then realize you don't like it.
Right. Especially like it's fast food and ice cream.
I, you know, I get going to a Michelin star and ordering a hundred dollar steak. And then all of a sudden being like, I don't like it.
I'm not eating it. That's kind of shitty.
You better fucking eat that hundred dollar steak. I don't give a shit.
Eat it. But yeah, I'm like, there's, I'm like, this doesn't need to be so heavy so serious no but they're also really young and they could be making like do you remember your first paycheck oh my gosh yeah i worked at perkins as a hostess yeah and it's just like you know how like what you thought you were gonna get a lot and then when you first get that paycheck and you're like wow this, this is nothing.
And then having to date and like take people out and then imagine if they're like, I don't like this. And you're like.
Such a slap in the face. It is.
Yeah. Or just hurtful.
Yeah. I could see where he's coming from too.
But crying, talk it out. Learn how to communicate from a young age, please.
I know. That's one thing.
I'm like, we should start having people take communication classes like in high school. Like literally, let's all learn how to talk to people again.
Definitely. Because I feel like a lot of that is really missing these days.
Definitely. Definitely.
Really missing. And sometimes when you do try to communicate with someone, if you word it wrong, then it comes off the wrong way and then it backfires and it's just like so communication classes would be really smart i think so which we do have some comments from op and he yelled at me over the ice cream which yelling about this like here we go all the more reason for.
Generally, I'm not very fussy because I just normally order the same kinds of things. Today, I just wanted to try something new because it looked really yummy, but it had way too much mustard, which I didn't really like.
None of the food went to waste because I ate a part of it and I gave him the fast food to eat. I asked him if he was okay over text,

but he's leaving me on delivered so far. There is a comment here, which is interesting.
OP got asked, like, why didn't you buy the ice cream after he bought you the fast food? I'm saving my money for a car. He doesn't have his license yet, so he has more money to spend freely.
But what's interesting, and it doesn't appear until the 10th comment, he did just lose his job, but he still has a bit saved up and he doesn't really have any big expenses. Aw, maybe he's gone through a lot.
That's starting to add up why he cried. Yeah.
Because like to spend your money on someone twice. That you love and care about.
And then they're just kind of. Throwing it away.
Uh-huh. Not liking it.
You lost your job. That could be.
I know it's over like a $3 cone. Mm-hmm.
Maybe that's his last $3. Totally.
Or it's just like the day in general. Yeah.
Maybe she didn't say thank you. You know? and that's his last three dollars like totally or it's just like the day in general yeah maybe she didn't say thank you you know and that's no no that bugs me so much bugs me to my core you if you do not say thank you i will never talk to you again i literally like i go to eat with someone and like it's like a first time going out to eat with them like a new friend or a work person if they don't say thank you to people I write them off and like the way you treat people and just so easy it's two words thank you thank you thank you yeah just like hey thank you like even if you didn't like the food thank you though for taking me out to dinner thank you thank you thank you top comment where do you think this one went? Do you think you're the asshole, not the asshole? Not the asshole is probably where it went.
Top comment. Is you're the asshole? You're the asshole.
For taking off peanuts? You're the asshole. You, one, he bought you food once that you wound up not eating.
Two, you then complained about being hungry. Three, he then heard that and went to buy you more food, ice cream, which you then proceeded to Hulk smash in front of him.
I get not liking nuts, but come on. Hulk smash.
Four, you somehow still didn't realize the multiple things you did Which are generally considered rude Five, somehow you made you hurting his feelings into you being the victim And six, you wound up expecting an apology from him instead of the other way around Also, did you even thank him a single time for all the food you wasted? Or did you just repeatedly ask for food and waste it in front of him oh okay well when you put it like that thank you top comment yeah i wonder if she said thank you yeah we don't really know and we don't know if she was like complaining the whole way we're only getting a snippet here i know because it's like okay if they went to the first restaurant she's like i don't like this and then afterwards i'm so hungry like yeah i can. I know.
Because it's like, okay, if they went to the first restaurant, she's like, I don't like this. And then afterwards, I'm so hungry.
Like, yeah, I can understand. I could see why he'd be just like at his wits end.
Yeah, totally. And guys can cry too.
Like, there's no shame in that. I was initially very surprised over like the ice cream cone.
It's you're crying over spilled milk in a sense. Like that was odd.
But if this is like like i'm just being kind of walked over like walked over she's not gracious she's entitled i'm not getting a thank you like i'd cry too i've i've cried over less oh i've cried over a lot less me too me too poor guy it sounds like he's kind of going through it definitely maybe they should go their own way and like figure life out. And then if it's meant to be, they'll reunite.
I don't think I'd make up over this one. I think you're just, just go.
Yeah. Just tell people that.
It makes them feel better. Like if it's meant to be, you'll come back together.
Yeah. That way it doesn't sound so permanent.
I like that. A little hopeful over there.
I am. A little hopeful.

Maybe I am.

There's some hope over there.

There is.

That was fun.

Those were some journeys we went on.

I'm not okay.

Yeah.

A lot of – I'm like, okay.

Life's not that bad.

Man, someone just asked me the other day.

It was a really good interview with a woman named Natalie. And she asked me, she was like, what do you think people get out of your podcast? And I was like, I think it's something for so many people, like it's something different for everyone.
But I was like, I think one thing, and this just came to me recently, there's a saying where it's like, comparison is the thief of joy. This is the opposite.
You might be comparing, but I hope it brings you joy instead of stealing it from you. But Bailey, thank you so, so much for being here today.
Thank you for having me. Where can everyone find you? You can find me everywhere.
YouTube, Instagram, Facebook. Spotify? Spotify.
Apple. Apple, Snapchat.
Ooh. Twitter.
Well, X. Threads.
TikTok? TikTok. Hey.
At Bailey Sarian. Everywhere.
Yes. Everywhere.
Yes, yes, yes. I'm everywhere and anywhere all the time.
Your content is so good. I just started the Aaron Hernandez one because it is football season.
Football. I'm diving into it.
And that was a really, that was a crazy, crazy case as well. So I will, I will be sure to put all of Bailey's links in the description.
Really easy to find, but make sure you go and give a watch if you haven't already, because I mean that auto one, the, the, the attic guy lived in the attic for 10 years I will link that one it's nuts it's insane you guys yeah it's so good it was fun no one dies well actually I'm sorry someone does die because you someone dies I mean it is murder Monday murder mystery makeup sometimes there are stories where sometimes no one dies and it's like those one-off stories. Like I survived almost? Kind of Makeup.
Yeah. Sometimes there are stories where sometimes no one dies.

And it's like those one-off stories.

Like I survived almost.

Kind of.

Yeah.

Okay.

And for a minute there, I thought this was one of those.

But I forgot the husband dies.

She does die.

The sex guy.

Yeah.

It's a whole.

Check it out for yourself.

Check it out.

Thank you so much for having me.

Thank you again.

It's been a lot of fun.

It's been so good.

Until next time, guys.

Bye. Thank you.