WWDTM: Jay Pharoah

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Speaker 1 From NPR and WBEC Chicago, this is wait, wait, they'll tell me the NPR news Quiz.

Speaker 1 I don't carry a big stick because I don't speak softly.

Speaker 1 I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagoff. Thank you, Bill.
Thank you, everybody.

Speaker 1 Thank you all so much.

Speaker 1 Thank you. I'm just as excited because we have a great show for you today.

Speaker 1 Later on, we're going to be talking to Jay Farrow, the Impressionist and SNL veteran who now now hosts the game show, The Quiz with Balls.

Speaker 1 That is what it is called. And on this show, if a contestant gives a wrong answer, they are knocked into a swimming pool by an enormous ball.

Speaker 1 This is a great idea, punishing people for wrong answers, but

Speaker 1 we have something even more terrifying. Welcome to the quiz with Bills.

Speaker 1 He's right behind you.

Speaker 1 Nothing will happen to you if you get our questions wrong because you'll be on the phone. The number to call is 188-WAITWAIT.
That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant.

Speaker 1 How you're on WaitWait, don't tell me.

Speaker 3 Hi, this is Liz calling from Malvern, Pennsylvania.

Speaker 1 Hey, how are you? How are things in Malvern?

Speaker 3 They're pretty good.

Speaker 3 Starting to enjoy the start of fall. Can't wait for all the political ads to end.

Speaker 1 Oh, I'm sure, yeah. So

Speaker 1 you've got the swing state blues, I'm sure.

Speaker 1 Do the ads ads actually, when you turn off the TV and try to leave, do the ads follow you out of the house?

Speaker 3 Yes, I do get about two postcards a day from the campaign.

Speaker 1 Oh, really? Well, welcome to the show, Liz. Let me introduce you to our fabulous panel this week.
First up, it's the comedian and host of the podcast, Fake the Nation.

Speaker 1 You can see her in Redding, Pennsylvania, in the Muslims Are Coming stand-up show on October 18th. It's Nagin Farsad.

Speaker 1 Next up, it's a correspondent for RealCitizenKate.com and a comedian who will be appearing at the venue in Janesville, Wisconsin on October 26th. It's Adam Burke.

Speaker 1 And finally, one of our founding panelists, a future reporter for the style section of the Washington Post, it's Roxanne Roberts.

Speaker 1 Hello, hello.

Speaker 1 So Liz, welcome to our show. You're going to play who's Bill this time.
Bill Curtis, of course, is going to perform for you three quotations from the week's news.

Speaker 1 If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you will win our prize, the voice of anyone you might choose from our show in your voicemail. Are you ready to go? Absolutely.

Speaker 1 All right, here is your first quote. There will be no third debate.

Speaker 1 So, after Tuesday night's events, who apparently is done with debates?

Speaker 3 That would be Donald Trump.

Speaker 1 It would be former President Trump.

Speaker 1 After we had the debate between Trump and Biden in the spring, the first and apparently now last debate between Trump and Kamala Harris took place on Tuesday. It broke records for viewership.

Speaker 1 It's all anybody wanted to talk about all week, making this week a perfect time to announce your illegitimate child if you have one.

Speaker 1 Now, Trump hemmed and hawed, but he did finally say on Thursday that he will not have a third debate because he says he did so great in the second second one and he doesn't want to ruin it.

Speaker 1 That's what he said. Also, also, come on, given his experience, better safe than sorry, having a third is how he ended up with Eric.

Speaker 5 So,

Speaker 5 my parents are visiting me, and so we watched it together. So, I was with my immigrant parents.
We were just nibbling on someone else's dog.

Speaker 5 And

Speaker 5 that was mustard or ketchup?

Speaker 5 It was with a reduced balsamic, actually.

Speaker 1 They were quite elegant.

Speaker 5 They've been immigrants here for a while stealing pets, so they know.

Speaker 5 My favorite thing about the debate was her face. I've taken acting classes, and she was doing the most subtle, the most interesting, like faces that communicate.
She didn't need to speak.

Speaker 5 Her face literally said everything.

Speaker 5 It said, you're an idiot. You're not fit.
I'm so much smarter than you, what are we even doing here? Dogs, why are we talking about dogs? And her face said so many things. It was incredible acting.

Speaker 1 You're absolutely right. I mean, it was so amazingly expressive that you know that those facial expressions must have been part of her prep, right? She must have practiced.

Speaker 1 And after the debate, she was so tired, her doctor has put her on complete face rest.

Speaker 6 She's on track to be our nation's most memeable president.

Speaker 1 She really is, yeah.

Speaker 6 She's dying to be captioned.

Speaker 1 And of course, as you mentioned, mentioned, Nagin, to the pantheon of great presidential debate lines like there you go again and you're no John Kennedy we have to add Trump's they're eating the pets

Speaker 1 it's it did make history it's the first racist dog whistle actually about dogs

Speaker 1 all right Liz here believe it or not other things happened this week and Liz your next quote is from someone making history in space woo

Speaker 1 smell that Space. That was a tech billionaire as he became the first ever private citizen to do what in space?

Speaker 3 Oh, to do the spacewalk.

Speaker 1 Yes, to take a spacewalk.

Speaker 1 The first private citizen spacewalk was successfully conducted on Thursday, although it was less, frankly, of a spacewalk and more of a space clutching the side of a spaceship in terror.

Speaker 6 I'm surprised Trump didn't work it into the debate. You know what I mean? We got immigrants coming in and we got billionaires leaving the planet.

Speaker 1 So the.

Speaker 6 Do you know how expensive that will be for me to call all my friends when they're on Jupiter?

Speaker 1 The SpaceX rocket was rented by tech billionaire Jared Isaacman, who was also the coup commander. That means he paid an extra million for a cool patch.

Speaker 1 He's done it before. He's a frequent customer of SpaceX.
He got an upgrade this time. It was nice.
He got the luxury ship.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I mean, I guess my whole feeling about these space missions

Speaker 5 and we're like covering them like new ground is being broken, is that didn't we do this like in the 60s? Yeah.

Speaker 5 So then what are we even talking about?

Speaker 1 Well, it's, I mean, we have made some advances, and this is serious. You may remember, if you think about spacesuits, NASA spacesuits, huge, bulky things.
These are cool, modern SpaceX spacesuits.

Speaker 1 They're sleek, they're form-fitting, they are absolutely the most attractive and fashionable outfits ever made that you can poop in.

Speaker 5 If you could go to space, would you do it? No.

Speaker 5 Also, I just have zero interest. It just feels, I don't need to accidentally die.
What? I can see the video.

Speaker 6 You know why I wouldn't go to space? Because it's full of friggin' billionaires.

Speaker 6 And all the else is up there. What would you even talk about?

Speaker 1 So what's important about this, this achievement, and they did go higher than anybody has since the Apollo missions, is it's a first step toward normalizing commercial space travel for ordinary citizens.

Speaker 1 We are about a decade away from kids having their birthday parties in orbit. And then a few more years after that from kids complaining that orbital birthday parties are boring.

Speaker 6 Also, man, you thought destination weddings were expensive now.

Speaker 1 Exactly.

Speaker 1 Your last quote, Liz, is a question posed in the Washington Post about a new feature on the Apple iPhones announced this week. How much leeway will we get with eggplant?

Speaker 1 This new feature will allow anyone with one of these iPhones to create their own what?

Speaker 1 Is it emojis? It is emojis. This week at their big conference, Apple debuted these newest iPhones and they come equipped with AI, Apple intelligence.

Speaker 1 And among many other things, it will allow you to generate your own emojis, whatever you want, just by describing what you want to the phone.

Speaker 1 Now, it's kind of a deal with the devil because on the one hand, we all know artificial intelligence, huge energy demands, accelerates climate change, but on the other hand, you can make an emoji of a frog and a pogo stick.

Speaker 6 Here's the thing, I don't understand emojis now.

Speaker 6 Like even with the pre-programmed ones, I don't know what people are talking about. I don't need people, everyone have their own language.

Speaker 1 They have custom emojis, right?

Speaker 5 That you have to like decipher.

Speaker 1 You can also, this is very cool, you can combine emojis. If you have a complex feeling you want to get across, you can ask for a cowboy and a monkey.
You'll get a monkey cowboy.

Speaker 1 You can combine an eggplant and a peach, and it'll give you a baby.

Speaker 3 So you can like, you can like island of Dr.

Speaker 1 Moreau, the emoji.

Speaker 5 Exactly, that's exactly that. And that's like a major benefit of this new iPhone.

Speaker 1 Bill, how did Liz do in our quiz? Smart Liz started us off with a perfect score. Well done, Liz.
Thank you so much. Yay, good job.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 Take care, Liz. Bye-bye.

Speaker 1 Right now, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news.

Speaker 1 Adam, Vladimir Putin, has long railed against Disney, saying Western culture is terrible and that their cartoons are far inferior to Russian ones, so it must make him furious.

Speaker 1 He has said that, so it must make him furious that the son of what prominent Russian is reportedly a Disney super fan.

Speaker 6 I didn't know that he allowed there to be other prominent Russians.

Speaker 1 That may be a clue.

Speaker 6 Is it his own son?

Speaker 1 It is indeed the son of Vladimir Putin.

Speaker 1 Putin has two young sons with his mistress, Hold for Awe.

Speaker 1 And one of them is reportedly incredibly into Disney, even insisting on dressing up like Disney characters. Of course, because he is a Putin, his costume is actually made from 101 Dalmatians.

Speaker 1 These two sons are not often seen in public. They live with their mother, Putin's mistress, out somewhere outside of Moscow.

Speaker 1 One of the boys is starting third grade and the one who's really into Disney is just about to go into kindergulag.

Speaker 1 Putin has said that he prefers Russian cartoons. You know, they're very good, like, for example, Tom and the Adoring Populace Who All Love Tom.

Speaker 1 And Where in Siberia is the dissident Carmen San Diego?

Speaker 1 Coming up, our panelists take a snack break in our bluff the listener game call 1888 Wave to Play. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait Wave, Don't Tell Me from NPR.

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Speaker 1 From NPR and WBEC Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Curtis.
We're playing this week with Roxanne Roberts, Nageen Farsad, and Adam Burke.

Speaker 1 And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill.

Speaker 1 Thank you so much. Right now.

Speaker 1 Right now it's time for the WaitWait Don't Tell Me bluff the listener game called 188 Wait Wait to Play Our Game on the Air. Or you can always check out the pinned post on our Instagram page.

Speaker 1 That's at WaitWaitNPR. How are you around? Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Speaker 9 Hello, Peter. This is Emily calling in from Houston, Texas.

Speaker 1 Hey, how are things in Houston?

Speaker 9 You know, they have been pretty nice the past week, but in this late summer, but I think they're about to get warmer again.

Speaker 1 Really?

Speaker 1 I mean, because Houston, when it gets warm, it gets warm. Emily, welcome.

Speaker 9 It's in a lovely, healthy glow.

Speaker 1 It does.

Speaker 1 Emily, it's great to have you with us. You're going to play the game in which you tell truth from fiction.
Bill, what is Emily's topic? I didn't know my Doritos could do this.

Speaker 1 Doritos can do a lot of things. Otherwise, they would call them Don't Doritos.

Speaker 1 This week we heard about Doritos breaking really new ground. Our panelists are going to tell you about it.
Pick the one that's telling the truth.

Speaker 1 You'll win the weight waiter of your choice and your voicemail. Are you ready to go? Yeah, thank you.
All right, first let's hear from Adam Burke.

Speaker 6 While it seems counterintuitive that Doritos, a food that stains every piece of clothing you own, could make anything disappear, researchers at Stanford University experimenting with the chip signature yellow number five dye have discovered just that.

Speaker 6 They began rubbing a tartrazine solution on the stomachs of laboratory mice, which surprisingly isn't illegal,

Speaker 6 and noticed that these body parts became transparent.

Speaker 6 The chemical process alters how light refracts on living cells and may have wide-ranging surgical applications beyond just being a tasty snack in the OR between incisions.

Speaker 6 Researchers wish to stress human trials are a way off and remind potential volunteers they involve Doritos on the outside of your stomach.

Speaker 1 A

Speaker 1 specific chemical found on all Doritos can make mice transparent. Your next story about a hidden feature of Doritos comes from Roxanne Roberts.

Speaker 4 When influencer Tyler Kahla agreed to foster a tiny orange kitten, he named it Dorito, Dory for short, after his favorite snack food.

Speaker 4 Kala made an adorable TikTok of the kitten playing with a pile of chips, which is when Kala realized that Dory was obsessed and demanded the treats whenever he opened a bag. The downside?

Speaker 4 Smelly little kitty farts and smellier kitty poops, which were small but mighty.

Speaker 4 It became a running joke with Kala's 260,000 followers until the day Dory farted and Kala lit a pile of Doritos in an incense burner to mask the odor.

Speaker 4 Then he tried burning the chips next to Dory's litter box and it eliminated what he says is quote 90% of crappy cat smells.

Speaker 4 Kahla is now selling custom incense burners and a Dory candle on Esti where 10% of the profits go to his local animal rescue.

Speaker 4 Best of all, Kahla permanently adopted Dory last month, awhile, a milestone celebrated where else on TikTok.

Speaker 1 Burning Doritos

Speaker 1 is perfect for masking the smell of a litter box. Your last story of something cool you can do with a cool ranch comes from Nagin Farsad.

Speaker 5 Doritos are known for their bright orange hue, inspired by fall foliage and/or hazmat suits. And it's also known for its flavor-filled dust.

Speaker 5 The dust is so sticky that after eating a bag of Doritos, it's customary to lick your bright orange fingers.

Speaker 5 It's also customary to dip into a short depression about your life choices because why did you just eat a full bag of Doritos?

Speaker 5 But the adhesive qualities of Dorito dust caught the attention of scientists at the Center for Forensic Science in Chicago.

Speaker 5 To date, dusting for fingerprints involved a boring non-tortilla chip-based dust. But these scientists found that Dorito dust was five times more effective in revealing fingerprints.

Speaker 5 They are now beta testing a program in the Riverdale neighborhood of Chicago using the orange dust on forensic cases.

Speaker 5 So far, the dust has rendered 20% more fingerprints than the average, with the added bonus of making each crime scene smell like a Super Bowl party.

Speaker 5 Detective Gerald Gardino said of the program, We are definitely finding more fingerprints than we used to. I just have to remember not to lick my fingers after working a crime scene.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 So let's say, Emily, you have to have a bag of Doritos.

Speaker 1 Instead Instead of eating them, you could do which of these, from Adam Burke, extract a chemical from its food coloring and make mice transparent.

Speaker 1 From Roxanne Roberts, burn it in an incense holder and completely mask the smell of the stankiest cat litter box.

Speaker 1 Or from Naguin Farsad, use it as a much improved fingerprint dust in crime scene investigations. Which of these is the real new use for Doritos?

Speaker 9 Well, I love Doritos as much as the next person, but I have got to think that there are some very questionable chemicals in that dust that could very well turn a mouse translucent.

Speaker 9 So I'm going to go with Adam's story.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 You chose an Adam's story of the chemical found in every Dorito that, if extracted and rubbed on mice, can make them transparent.

Speaker 1 And for the correct answer, we spoke to a reporter who's been on top of the real story.

Speaker 10 Researchers took a common food dye. A lot of people might identify it with Doritos, and within a few minutes, the skin of the mice transformed.

Speaker 1 That is amazing. It was also Carolyn Johnson,

Speaker 1 a science reporter at the Washington Post, talking about the transparent mice made that way by the magic of Doritos. Congratulations, Emily.
You got it right.

Speaker 1 You earned a point for Adam, and you've won our prize, the voice of your choice on your voicemail. Well done.

Speaker 1 And now the game where we ask people about things they know nothing about. It's called Not My Job.

Speaker 1 Comedian Jay Farrow became instantly known during his years on the cast of Saturday Night Live as a brilliant impressionist from Kevin Hart to Barack Obama.

Speaker 1 But now he is appearing in the role of himself as the host of a game show on Fox and Hulu The Quiz with Balls Jay Farrow welcome to wait wait don't tell me

Speaker 1 so first of all I should say welcome to the pinnacle of human achievement the game show host it's not as it's not as easy as it looks is it no no no it's it's not as easy as it looks and you definitely just have to be able to improv and be able to just think on the fly

Speaker 1 I never knew that somebody was going to introduce me and say the quiz with balls after my name.

Speaker 1 That wasn't something you dreamed of as a child dreaming of show biz.

Speaker 1 Not something that I thought something I thought was going to happen.

Speaker 1 It just baffles me and drives my mind to total insanity when I'm in a restaurant enjoying my food and a family will come up to me and say, Release the balls. I'm like, hold the child.

Speaker 1 On the show and in your own comedy, you are known for these astounding impressions. Is there one, like, in your entire roster of people you can do that you're most proud of?

Speaker 1 The one that I would say that nobody, I'm the originator of it, and nobody had done it like me was Will Smith. And that one is just, that's just one that's,

Speaker 1 you know, like, you know, that's the one that, you know, everybody,

Speaker 1 you know, pretty much like loves

Speaker 1 because

Speaker 1 it's not the kind of impression that's like just found you know it's not like a it's not like a hot pocket it was more like tenderloin

Speaker 1 that was

Speaker 1 and I'll say that was a little early is what that was I'll say I've seen Jay also does a fantastic Chris Rock so

Speaker 6 I mean imagine at some point you ended up slapping yourself.

Speaker 1 No, no, man.

Speaker 1 Oh, Jesus, but having those two,

Speaker 1 when that situation happened, I said, oh, man, God loves me.

Speaker 1 You're going to have work for a year.

Speaker 1 You can do the scene.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. It was so funny when I was in here

Speaker 1 reenacting the scene by myself.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 You got to let us hear it, right?

Speaker 1 If you practice.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Everybody's asking me, man, how do you feel, man?

Speaker 1 How do I feel?

Speaker 1 I got smacked by the softest man in Hollywood, okay?

Speaker 1 Not freaking good, okay? Okay,

Speaker 1 okay.

Speaker 1 You were like,

Speaker 1 You know what?

Speaker 1 I gotta say this: like, you know, I really do apologize, you know, to everybody in America and everybody ubiquitously around the world.

Speaker 1 What I should have done instead of smacking Chris Rock was I should have waited for the commercial break and gotta work with the whole situation.

Speaker 1 Well, this might be fun because who knows, you can do this as a group. Jay Farrow, we have asked you here to play a game we're calling.

Speaker 1 You can keep your balls.

Speaker 1 So, as we have established, you host the game show The Quiz with Balls, so we thought we'd ask you about games that don't require any balls at all.

Speaker 1 Answer two out of three questions right, and you will win our prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who is Jay Farrow playing for? Shane Brown of Portland, Oregon.

Speaker 1 All right, here is your first question.

Speaker 1 There's lots of games you can play with a frisbee instead of a ball, but not all frisbees are alike. You could find yourself catching which of these?

Speaker 1 A, the combat frisbee, lined with razors along the edge. B, frisbee for dummies, which has an iron coating and comes with gloves lined with magnets.

Speaker 1 Or C, a disc molded out of the ashes of Ed Hedrick, one of the inventors of the frisbee.

Speaker 1 Well, I hope it's not the third one.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I don't know, Kev.
What are you, Kev? Do you have anything on this?

Speaker 1 Listen. I was thinking.

Speaker 6 Listen, people, sweater God, say this.

Speaker 1 Say this right now.

Speaker 1 I believe that the answer is B. That's what I think it is.

Speaker 11 Because a lot of people, a lot of people are dumb, and a lot of people need to get a disc thrown activate because maybe it will correct correct something.

Speaker 1 Swear to God.

Speaker 1 So, are you gonna trust Kevin Hart on this, Jay? Is that what you're gonna do? I gotta trust Kev.

Speaker 1 I think he knows. He lets you down, it was C.
It's actually

Speaker 1 a guy who invented as part of his will. One of the guys who invented the frisbee, he asked to be cremated, and then he had his ashes mixed in to plastic to make frisbees

Speaker 1 that were sold for charity and they're out there in the world.

Speaker 1 That won't be

Speaker 1 this is not something that will be thrown around in a black household. No, it's not.

Speaker 1 I'm not messing with it, okay? Yeah, you take it down from the wall and you go, Ed, you want to play? And the frisbee doesn't complain. You go, all right, you still have two more chances.
All right.

Speaker 1 Here's your next question. Cornhole, that's the game popular here in the Midwest where you try to toss bean bags through a hole in a board.
We all know this game, right?

Speaker 1 We've been to tailgates, right? It's very popular here in America, but there are international variants, such as which of these? One of these is real.

Speaker 1 A, the game of Tejo in Colombia, where players throw their bags at exploding targets filled with gunpowder.

Speaker 1 B, tramp hole in Australia, where you bounce off a mini trampoline and try to throw yourself through the hole.

Speaker 1 Or C, Crick Hole in England, where the other player can defend the goal with a cricket bat.

Speaker 1 You know what?

Speaker 6 Would Jay-Z help out with this one? I don't know if there's something that Jay-Z says a lot that might be the answer.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 basically,

Speaker 1 you know, now I'm pretty stumped, but

Speaker 1 after thinking about that comparatively to the other answers,

Speaker 1 I will probably say,

Speaker 1 I'll say, A.

Speaker 1 Jay-Z is correct. That is right.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 it's absolutely true.

Speaker 1 Imagine

Speaker 1 Cornhole, but if you hit the target, an explosive charge goes off. Boom, it is the second most popular sport in Colombia after soccer.

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 you know what's real, you know, with all the cocherina that I used to deal with back in the day.

Speaker 1 Yeah, my intuition spoke for me. That was the hustler, homie.

Speaker 1 It's really weird.

Speaker 1 All right, last question. Get this right, whoever you are, and you win it all.

Speaker 1 Everybody loves to play darts, right? But it's not as easy as it looks. What is a proven way to improve your darts game?

Speaker 1 A, just closing your eyes and throwing randomly toward the target, B, spinning around four times and then throwing it like a discus toss,

Speaker 1 or C, just getting a little drunk.

Speaker 1 Now,

Speaker 11 let me, before I answer this question, I'm just going to say

Speaker 1 there is a lot of fallacy that's been spoken. A lot of things could be evil.

Speaker 1 Oh, Lord.

Speaker 6 I'm gonna go with B.

Speaker 6 I'm um

Speaker 1 I'm gonna come up to you with tears in my eyes and say, sir, are you sure?

Speaker 1 You shouldn't be crying. Come on, this is a festive time.
You're just answering questions. That's all.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I would say that's my final answer, B. Have to say it like a dude.

Speaker 1 For some reason, I've never said this with more pleasure, but you're wrong.

Speaker 1 I'm having a lot of emotions here, Jay.

Speaker 1 The answer is actually C, getting drunk. Studies have proved that just a little alcohol improves your dart game.
That's why they play it in bars.

Speaker 6 But technically, Jay didn't get any of them wrong. He did, Jay.

Speaker 1 Yes,

Speaker 1 you walk out of here with a clean record. Bill, how did Jay and his friends do in our quiz? You know, he's a winner, and you're going to leave a winner.
Absolutely.

Speaker 1 It's not your fault.

Speaker 1 So Jay Farrow, as you now all know, is an amazing impressionist. He's also the host of Fox's The Quiz with Balls.
His new comedy special, Jared, premieres on YouTube September 22nd.

Speaker 1 Jay Farrow, that was surreal and absolutely absolutely a blast. Thank you so much for joining us.

Speaker 1 In just a minute, Bill puts on his dancing shoes for our listener limerick challenge called 1888 Whitweight to Joan Unus in the air. We'll be back in a minute with more Whitweight on Tommy from NPL.

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Speaker 1 From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Curtis.
We are playing this week with Adam Burke, Naguin Farsad, and Roxanne Roberts.

Speaker 1 And hearing editorial host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill.
In just a minute,

Speaker 1 Bill insists it was a victimless rhyme in our listener limerick challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1888-WAIT WAIT.
That's 1-888-9248-924.

Speaker 1 Right now, panel some more questions for you from the week's news. Nageen, do you care about the environment, but you're too lazy to do anything about it? Great news.

Speaker 1 NPR reports that you can lower your carbon footprint by doing what?

Speaker 5 Oh, um, holding in your farts.

Speaker 1 I'll give you a hint. It's a seamless solution to the problem of climate change.

Speaker 5 My feeling about that hint is that ordering food off of seamless? Yes.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 1 It's a little surprising, but NPR investigated whether either food delivery services like Seamless or DoorDash or you know those meal kits that are sent to your home are worse for the environment than cooking for yourself.

Speaker 1 And they found, much to everybody's surprise, it's actually slightly better for the environment. Even more,

Speaker 1 if you go ahead and check that little box in the order that says, please, no utensils or napkins, you are now officially Greta Thunberger.

Speaker 6 See, when you gave that clue, I was going in completely the wrong direction. When you said seamless, I thought it was like being naked all the time.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it it was like no seams on clothes.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And the reason is, you might be wondering why

Speaker 1 this doesn't make any sense. A meal delivered by a food delivery service generates much less food waste than cooking at home.

Speaker 1 And because a food delivery service combines trips, right, instead of every individual person driving to the grocery store themselves to get food. It's sort of like a food carpool.

Speaker 1 So do not ruin it by ordering each chicken nugget separately.

Speaker 5 I just, I don't believe this at all. This sounds so wrong still.

Speaker 1 It's NPR. Would we lie to you? Well,

Speaker 1 other than us specifically.

Speaker 1 Exactly.

Speaker 1 Adam, the government of China is warning its citizens to be wary of hot people coming onto them because those people may be what?

Speaker 1 Spies? Yes, exactly right.

Speaker 1 According to the Chinese Ministry of State Security, there have been increasing reports of foreign agents catfishing Chinese citizens into revealing revealing state secrets.

Speaker 1 Many pretend to be academics or maybe grad students in order to gain the trust of people who might have access to sensitive information. It's terrible for your self-esteem.

Speaker 1 A gorgeous fellow PhD student seems interested in your research, and then the state police come over and are like, not so fast, Uggo.

Speaker 5 But also, what if the academic who they're stealing the secrets from is also hot?

Speaker 1 That's a good point.

Speaker 5 Right? So if it's like two hot people, then what does the government say?

Speaker 5 Well, I would avoid or don't avoid.

Speaker 1 And there's another problem, which is what about innocent hunt people? Everybody is going to suspect that we're spies.

Speaker 1 That's not fair. That's that's stereotyping.
Yeah, maybe I just have six pack abs, and I'm interested in the dispensation of troops in the Chinese military.

Speaker 1 Tell me what the secret is.

Speaker 1 Tell me what the secret is. Got a secret.
Tell me what the secret is. Got a secret.

Speaker 1 Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1888-WAITWAIT.

Speaker 1 That's 1-888-924-8924. You can always click the Contact Us link on the website, waitwait.npr.org.
And be sure to check out our sister podcast, How to Do Everything.

Speaker 1 This week, Mike and Ian tell you how to keep your French fries from getting all soggy. How are you on WaitWait Don't Tell Me?

Speaker 12 Hi, this is Poppy calling from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

Speaker 1 Hey, Poppy, what do you do there in Pittsburgh?

Speaker 12 I work in Medicaid Managed Care.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. All right.
That must be exciting.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it sounds like it's a conversation ender.

Speaker 1 Yeah, okay. Well, what else you got then? I don't know.

Speaker 12 Well, Peter, I do have a funny story.

Speaker 1 Please.

Speaker 12 I once was in a parody sketch of Weight Wait, Don't Tell Me in a one-day variety show.

Speaker 1 No, really?

Speaker 12 Yeah, yeah. I was attending graduate school at the University of Chicago, and we did a one-night variety show.

Speaker 12 And I got to play Poppy Sagal. I was the host.

Speaker 1 No, really?

Speaker 1 Only because Jay Farrow was just on our show and I'm thinking about it. Did you actually attempt to do an impression of me?

Speaker 1 You know, it's not that hard, Peter.

Speaker 12 It's like

Speaker 1 this is NPR.

Speaker 1 Nailed it. Nailed it.
Yeah, I've.

Speaker 1 I thought I was talking to myself. That was fair.

Speaker 1 Well, Poppy,

Speaker 1 welcome to the show. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with a last word or phrase missing from each.

Speaker 1 If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. You ready to apply? Yeah.
Here is your first limerick. And Adelphi's old cons sure do rankle.

Speaker 1 But for views, ABC pulls a prankle after time behind bars she is dancing with stars with a monitor worn round her

Speaker 1 ankle yes ankle Anna Delvey that's the con woman made famous by a Netflix show about her will be the first contestant on dancing with the stars to compete while wearing a court-ordered ankle monitor

Speaker 1 might get in the way of her moves, but when it finally comes off, just think how high her kicks will suddenly be

Speaker 1 It's it's it's the sort of news that makes you say, huh, I guess we are using a very broad definition of both home detention and also with the stars.

Speaker 6 I want every week for them to add an accoutrement so by the end she's in that Hannibal Lecter thing with the mask on.

Speaker 1 This is a handicapping thing.

Speaker 1 They just kind of wheel it out around.

Speaker 1 Here is your next limerick, Poppy. Here, Stormer inspects his new flat.
There's a squatter inside who won't scat. He might be too sinister for the Prime Minister.
Larry, 10 Downing Streets.

Speaker 1 Cat? Yes, cat. The new British Prime Minister, Keir Starmer, is facing a fierce opponent as he establishes himself at 10 Downing Street.
The cat that lives there hates him and his family.

Speaker 1 It's got to be the biggest story of the week that involves a world leader talking about pets.

Speaker 5 So, this makes Kira Starmer a child foil cat leader.

Speaker 1 Yes. Okay.
That's right.

Speaker 5 I was just testing that out.

Speaker 1 We don't need to enjoy it.

Speaker 1 Okay. Papa, you got one more limerick.
You're doing great. Here it is.
Sometimes kumquats are frugally sized, and our pears look like noodly thighs.

Speaker 1 We will make ugly fruit look all tasty and cute when we slap on some some googly eyes. I'm sorry, I blue.

Speaker 1 I blue.

Speaker 1 I got so into it. It's very hard.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 let me just ask you, Poppy.

Speaker 1 Let me just ask you, Poppy, take a random guess. What's the answer? Is it eyes? It is, Poppy.

Speaker 8 How did you know?

Speaker 1 Well, the score.

Speaker 1 According to a new study, an effective way, this is real by the way to get people to buy misshapen produce is to put googly eyes on them

Speaker 1 what does it say about us

Speaker 1 that we're more likely to eat fruits and vegetables if they look like people

Speaker 4 I wasn't hungry before now but now I yearn for the taste of human flesh no no no no no no I think it's like if it has googly eyes on it it looks goofy and you forgive the fact that it looks bad because it's goofy.

Speaker 6 I actually never apply morality to fruit in the first place.

Speaker 5 Oh, you're alone.

Speaker 1 The study, the study focused on so-called ugly produce, which is produce that is completely edible and just as delicious as any other, but it looks funny.

Speaker 1 Unfortunately, when you do buy this produce, its eyes turn into little X's when you cook them.

Speaker 1 Bill, how did Poppy do

Speaker 1 on our quiz? I don't know.

Speaker 1 All of a sudden, you don't have any answers.

Speaker 1 I got nothing. But you know, she's already won with two out of three.
So, Poppy, my apologies, and you're a win. Yes, you are, Poppy.
Thank you so much.

Speaker 1 Thank you. Then come through.
Thanks so much.

Speaker 1 Now, you better keep your

Speaker 1 This message comes from NPR sponsor Patagonia. As environmental progress stalls, Patagonia believes it's on businesses to step up.

Speaker 1 The company knows it isn't perfect, but it's proving businesses can make a profit without bankrupting the planet.

Speaker 1 Out now is Patagonia's 2025 Work in Progress Report, a behind-the-scenes look into its impact initiatives from quitting forever chemicals and decarbonizing its supply chain to embracing fair trade.

Speaker 1 Explore more at patagonia.com slash impact.

Speaker 2 This message comes from Schwab. Everyone has moments when they could have done better.
Same goes for where you invest. Level up and invest smarter with Schwab.

Speaker 2 Get market insights, education, and human help when you need it.

Speaker 7 This message comes from Scholastic with the free state of Jacks by number one New York Times best-selling author Jennifer A. Nielsen.

Speaker 7 Brimming with mystery and intrigue, this charmingly quirky and heartfelt coming-of-age story follows the journey of a boy fighting for his freedom and a place to call home.

Speaker 7 The Free State of Jacks by Jennifer A. Nielsen is available now wherever books are sold.

Speaker 1 Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can.

Speaker 1 Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Naguid and Adam each have three.
Roxanne has two. Okay, Roxanne, you are in second place.
That means you're up first.

Speaker 1 Fill in the blank. On Thursday, Russia launched a major counterattack against blank.
Krisk. Ukraine.
Yes.

Speaker 1 On Tuesday, Delta confirmed that no passengers were injured after two planes blanked while taxiing. Collided.

Speaker 1 Right, this week, residents in Southern California were hit with evacuation orders as three major blanks continued to rage. Wildfire.

Speaker 1 Right, on Tuesday, a woman in Nashville was talked off a bridge by blank.

Speaker 4 John Bon Jovi.

Speaker 1 Right, this week a man at the Taipei Zoo was bitten by lions after he entered their cage and said, Blank.

Speaker 1 Roar? No, he said, quote, come bite me.

Speaker 1 Hoping to compete with Target and Aldi, Amazon announced that they were launching a new line of budget-friendly blank groceries.

Speaker 1 Right, on Monday, three new cast members were announced for Blank's 50th season, SNL. Right, this week, tourists in the UK crowded around to see the country's newest attraction, Blank.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 4 the horrible statue of Queen Elizabeth?

Speaker 1 That's right. Okay.
All right.

Speaker 1 The statue of the late Queen Elizabeth II is particularly horrible because, according to everybody who looks at it, it makes the queen look just like Mrs. Doubtfire.

Speaker 1 It is being called an insult to Her Majesty's memory.

Speaker 1 Some are even calling it free to be melted down, which sounds great, until the next statue they make somehow makes Queen Elizabeth look like the genie from Aladdin.

Speaker 1 Bill, how did Roxanne do on our quiz? He did very well. Seven right.
14 more points, total to 16. He's in the lead.
All right.

Speaker 1 I'm going to pick Adam arbitrarily to go next. Here we go.
Adam, please fill in the blank. According to Nielsen data, around 67 million people watched Tuesday's blank.
Debate.

Speaker 1 Right, on Monday, Campbell's Soup announced they were changing their name to blank. Oh, just Campbell's? Yeah, just Campbell's.
Yes, no soup.

Speaker 1 Just hours after making landfall in Louisiana, Hurricane Francine was downgraded to blank.

Speaker 6 A tropical storm?

Speaker 1 Right, according to a new study, two-thirds of America's blanks don't consider themselves wealthy.

Speaker 1 Billionaires? Not billionaires, but millionaires. On Tuesday, Foo Fighters founder Blank announced he had had a child outside of his marriage.

Speaker 1 Dave Gold. Right.
On Sunday, FX's Shogun set a record by winning 14 creative arts blank awards. Emmys? Right.

Speaker 1 This week, tourists in Seattle crowded around to see that city's newest tourist attraction, Blank.

Speaker 6 An even uglier statue of the queen.

Speaker 1 No. No.

Speaker 1 An abandoned cyber truck on the side of the road.

Speaker 1 This particular cybertruck has a pretty rough shape, which might explain it was abandoned on the side of a busy Seattle street.

Speaker 1 Since then, it attracted onlookers who can remember their visit by buying a t-shirt that says, I saw the abandoned cyber truck, and all it did was break my fingers.

Speaker 1 Bill, how did Adam do in our quiz? Five right, ten more points, total to 13 means Roxanne is still in the lead. All right.

Speaker 1 So how many then does Nagin need to win? Seven to win. Count them down.
All right. Here we go, Nagin.
This is for the game.

Speaker 1 On Wednesday, both Kamala Harris and Donald Trump were in New York to observe the anniversary of Blank.

Speaker 5 September 11th.

Speaker 1 Right, amid an ongoing corruption probe, the police commissioner of Blank resigned on Thursday. New York City.
Right, on Thursday, a Georgia judge dismissed two of the criminal accounts against Blank.

Speaker 1 Trump. Right, this week, Asia Wilson broke the single season scoring record in the Blank.
Tennis thing.

Speaker 1 No, the WNBA, after being convinced to give the buyer a requested discount on the home he was selling, a man in Miami is suing because he learned blank.

Speaker 5 That the house was made of styrofoam.

Speaker 1 No, that the buyer who wanted a discount was Jeff Bezos.

Speaker 1 On Monday, police arrested a man accused of stealing four blanks from Australian rower Drew Ginn.

Speaker 1 Kangaroos? Olympic medals. On Tuesday, Sony angered gamers by announcing an $800 price tag on the newest version of the blank.

Speaker 5 The new. Sorry.

Speaker 1 you did you not expect us to put you through this, Naguini. Was this a surprise to you?

Speaker 6 I hate the same thing. I think there's a slow carbon monoxide.

Speaker 5 There is. We need to investigate the metals in this room.
Okay, what is

Speaker 1 I'll do this again. On Tuesday, Sony angered gamers by announcing an $800 price tag in the newest version of the blank.
Grand Theft Auto?

Speaker 1 No, the console, the PlayStation. This week, tourists in Chicago crowded around to see this city's newest tourist attraction.
what?

Speaker 1 A really

Speaker 1 super hideous version of the critical.

Speaker 1 No!

Speaker 1 A

Speaker 1 see-through plastic purse filled with lucky charms hanging on a pole.

Speaker 1 Despite going viral, no one has claimed this serial-filled purse, which was found hanging from a pole in front of an abandoned muffler shop.

Speaker 1 And despite the mystery, onlookers say it definitely ranks up there with some of Chicago's other beloved tourist attractions, like the late great rat hole and the bean not the sculpture just a bean that had fallen out of a burrito

Speaker 1 Bill did Nagin do well enough to win

Speaker 1 no

Speaker 1 three right six more points nine total that means Roxanne is the winner this week

Speaker 1 In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict now that we have seen the first private citizen take a spacewalk, what will be the next first to happen in space.

Speaker 1 But first, let me tell you that. Wait, wait, don't tell me.
He's a production of NPR in WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord.

Speaker 1 Philip Godica writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman.
Our tour manager is Shane Adonald. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theater.

Speaker 1 A very special thanks and a fond farewell to our friend, Nathan Kanapke. Best of luck in hell.
I'm sorry. I mean Hadiestown.
B.J. Lederman composed our theme.

Speaker 1 Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Normbost, and Lillian King. Special thanks to Monica Hickey and Blythe Robertson.
Peter Gwynn insists he has concepts of plans.

Speaker 1 Our vibe curator is Emma Choi. Technical direction is from Lorna White.
Her CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse.
Our senior producer is Ian Schillag.

Speaker 1 The executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, is Mike Danforth. Now, panel, what will be the next big first in space? Naguin Farsan.

Speaker 5 It'll be the first group therapy for billionaires who figure out why they have to go to space in the first place.

Speaker 1 Roxanne Roberts.

Speaker 4 The first Apple store will open on the moon where there will still be a line to get in.

Speaker 1 And Adam Burke.

Speaker 6 The first reality show about the people trapped on the International Space Station called The Real Austronauts of the Van Allen Belt.

Speaker 1 Well.

Speaker 1 If any of that happens, we'll ask you about it on WaitWait. Don't tell me.
Thank you, Bill Curtos.

Speaker 1 Thanks also to Nigu farsad roxanne roberts and adam burke thanks to a fabulous audience here at the scudi mackerel theater in downtown chicago thanks to all of you for listening wherever you may be i'm peter sage we'll see you next week

Speaker 1 This is NPR.

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Speaker 8 Before we first started with Vital Farms, I thought, you know, an egg's an egg, not a big deal, but it's hard for me to even eat an egg that's not a vital farm egg now.

Speaker 8 Vital Farms eggs are usually brown to lighter brown in color. And when you crack a pasture-raised egg,

Speaker 8 You have to hit it harder than what a person thinks just because the shell quality is so good.

Speaker 8 And basically, when that egg cracks in the skillet or bowl, that yolk is almost kind of an orange shade. And that is part of what I love about a vital egg is just the shade of yolk.

Speaker 8 I love pasteurised eggs because you can see the work and the pride that the farmers have and have put into these eggs.

Speaker 7 To learn more about how Vital Farms farmers care for their hens, visit vitalfarms.com.