WWDTM: Austan Goolsbee

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Amazon Pharmacy. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is, Wait, wait, don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz.
I must be a dumb thing you said at a party because you can't stop thinking about me. I'm Bill Curtis.
And here is your host at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill.
Thank you, everybody. Thank you so much.
We have such a useful show for you today because we are going to be talking to an absolute rock star of the economics world, Austin Goolsbee. Now, he last appeared on our show to explain tariffs back in 2018 and compared them at the time to unclogging your kitchen sink with an explosive.
Now, I don't know enough to tell you if that was accurate, but immediately after that, he was put in charge of the Federal Reserve Bank of Chicago. So we are going to wait for him to come on with an appropriate metaphor for this situation.
But in the meantime, we want to hear from you. The number to call is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT.
That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant.
Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Jen Ainsley calling from New York City.
I'm in Harlem. You're in Harlem, New York City.
Well, that's fabulous. That's a great neighborhood.
What do you do there? I'm an executive admin to the president of a luxury fitness company. A luxury fitness company? I'm just imagining what the culture in the office must be like.
Does everyone wear spandex all the time? And do you have meetings while people are like on their exercise bikes? Oh, absolutely. Do you ever just want to come wearing baggy pants and just sit there and eat yodels? I won't tell about the secret snack closet that I have.
Okay. Well, it's great to have you with us, Jen.
Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, he's a reporter for the Washington Post, where he writes the fabulous Style Memo newsletter.
It's Shane O'Neill. Well, hello, Jen.
How are you? Hi there. Hi, Shane.
Hi. Next, you know her from her TikTok show, Boy Room.
It's Rachel Koster. Hi, Jen.
You sound strong. And an actor and writer who can be seen in the show Two Square on Thursday, April 24th at the UCB Theater in New York.

It's Peter Gross.

Hi.

Hi, Peter.

So, Jen, welcome to the show.

You're, of course, going to play Who's Bill this time.

We start the show with Bill Curtis performing for you.

Three quotations from this week's news.

Your job, of course, correctly identify or explain just two of them.

Do that.

You will win our prize.

Any voice from our show you might choose for your voicemail. Ready to go? Very ready.
Let's do it. Here we go.
Your first quote is from a financial specialist giving his careful analysis of the economy this week. This is bonkers.
Everything went bonkers this week after President Trump couldn't seem to make up his mind about what? The tariffs. The tariffs.
That's right.

This week, the president continued his economic strategy of chaos and capriciousness with short breaks for insider trading. The markets cratered, recovered, and then they cratered again.
The Dow Jones went in directions we didn't know it could. It went up, it went down, it went left, then it went directly at you.
The tariffs so far have been terrible for financial traders, consumers, farmers, basically everybody except people who make graphs. Great, great era for graphs.
Were you guys freaking out all week? I'm not invested at this time. I understand.
I can't wait to have some money to put in there when things chill out. You keep your retirement account in like a half-filled-out frequent customer card for Starbucks.
That's your investment. There's maybe 20 bucks in there.
Yeah, I understand. Reports say that Trump decided to reverse himself on the tariffs after he saw people on Fox News saying the tariffs were really bad for the markets.
He gets all his ideas from TV. That's why he insisted Don Jr.
and Eric get separate bedrooms after he watched The White Lotus. I was waiting in TSA for 25 minutes today on the way here.
Yeah. And so I started making small talk with some gentlemen with me.
And the guy in front of me was like, oh, yeah, I work in finance. And I was like, oh, quite a week.
And he went, well, when people buy or people sell, I still get a commission. And I was like, oh, my God, there's someone I can hate more than the TSA right now.
That's never happened before.

That's hilarious.

Good for him.

The tariffs remain.

Prices will go up, and many Americans are stockpiling certain goods already.

Among them, this is all true, European brands of cat food, seaweed.

Ew!

If you're buying European brands of cat food, you deserve to lose a ton of money. My cat won't eat anything but El Jamon.
Spanish, you better go cat food. I think you've never met my aunt.
She would go absolutely broke buying European cat food. What's wrong with, like, I don't know, frisky Shiba.
I'll tell you what. Mittens, I'll tell you what.

A lot.

All right, Jen.

Your next quote is from a scientist in the news this week.

Holy crap.

That's the first time in 12,000 years that this species has howled.

He was responding to the announcement that geneticists have brought back a long, extinct

type of what?

Dire wolf.

Yes, the dire wolf is back.

If you've never seen a dire wolf, just picture a wolf,

but it's much bigger and never should have been brought back from extinction.

They claim, they claim to have brought this extinct prehistoric animal,

the dire wolf, back from extinction. It's news that has many Americans asking, can we shoot it? Now, a dire wolf is like bigger and stronger and more powerful than a regular wolf.
Pretty much. How did it go extinct? Like, isn't that against the all of evolution? Well, here's the funny thing.
So many animals went extinct around 12,000 years ago, which is when the dire wolf apparently went extinct because we humans ate them. Which is not the case with the dire wolf.
What happened with the dire wolf, so many other predators went extinct because we ate their food. Basically, the last major mass extinction happened because of some human being going, are you going to finish that? Well, hopefully we can learn our lesson and eat these new dire wolves.

Exactly.

You have to say, well, why did they choose a dire wolf when there are really cool animals they could bring back? Like the 12-foot tall giant sloth or the huge carnivorous, and these are very real, terror birds. I think they made a good choice.
Scientists are cowards. I know.
But they brought back the direwolf because of Game of Thrones, which featured direwolves rather prominently, made them famous. Guys, that show also had dragons in it.
What are we thinking? Why can't they make more of the buff guy? Just some of my friends are out. The one buff guy? I do not believe, I mean, I'm not sure,

but I do not believe Jason Momoa is extinct yet.

We could always go for a couple more.

Okay.

All right, Jen, your last quote is from the New York Post.

They're not looking for love.

They're looking to file.

The Post was writing about a new survey that suggests one in three singles have used a dating app to find someone to help them do what? Someone to file an accountant? Yes, they're looking for someone to help with their taxes on the dating apps. Young people are flocking to the apps seeking not love, but the opposite of love, an accountant.
And if you happen to be an accountant or tax expert and your hinge date just showed up with a shoebox full of receipts, she may not want you for your body. Ooh, you look so taxi.
I think boys are an incredible resource. And if you're using dating for anything other than to learn information, then you're missing part of the point.
They can be so helpful. I just broke up with someone before we entered a recession.
Do you know how many questions I'm going to have to send to my dad instead? That's such a bummer. You think boys are a good source of information? I think they're incredible.
Girl, we know different boys. This information, the survey was from the dating app Hilly, which asked more than 2,000 users if they would look for a date who could help with their taxes.
A third of them said yes. Also, another third, I guess not the same third, said they find people who do their own taxes sexier than people who hire an accountant, right? That's a little bit of a contradiction.
So if you're on a date this weekend, the right thing to say is, well, I do my own taxes, of course, and I'd be happy to do yours, but you're too beautiful to need that. People who do their own taxes are also sexier because they're probably in a lot of trouble with the law, which is always hot.
If you're on the run, that is so... I mean, I know.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
I know that bad boys have always had an appeal to women. But you're telling me that a bad boy is someone who does his own taxes and might not have all the receipts? Yes.
No, it's like you picture a guy who's like, listen, Rachel, I can't stay. I'm on the run.
I killed three people in Idaho. Also, April 15th is coming up, but I have to finish my taxes.
I don't mean to take air out of this, but when I was waiting tables once, I went on a date with a customer I didn't like because I knew he had a hot tub. I mean, what's the difference here? It all comes out in the wash in the end, right? Exactly.
Bill, how did Jen do on our quiz? Well, she can check off a perfect score. Well done, Jen.
Thank you. Right now, panel, it's time for you to answer some questions about this week's news.
Shane, a new study should be encouraging to all the single folks out there. While being married, we all know, does enhance your happiness and well-being, it turns out you can get the same boost from what? Sherbert.
You have to say it's true. I'm guessing you do, Sherbert.
I don't know if that wasn't the result of a Sherbert name. It's Talenti? Absolutely.
No, not Sherbert. You can get the same boost of being married as having a pet? Yes, exactly right.
Thank you. Researchers in Britain just found that the psychological benefit of owning a dog or cat is basically the same as what you get from marriage.
And of course, pets would be way better than marriage if you didn't have to pick up your dog's poop. Or, I guess, if you did have to pick up your husband's.
I mean, I've let my cat do my taxes for the last 10 years.

I would never buy a human being European food.

That's all I'm saying.

You want Nutella, honey?

Find another husband.

Coming up, it's a collectible Bluff the Listener game.

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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis.
We are playing this week with Peter Gross, Rachel Koster, and Shane O'Neill. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.
Thank you, Bill. Thank you so much.
Right now it is time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, Bl the Listener Game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air or check out the pinned post on our Instagram page at Wait, Wait, NPR.
Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Rachel from Maple Grove, Minnesota.
Maple Grove. That's a suburb of the Twin Cities, right? It is.
Yeah. What do you do there? I work in HR technology.
HR technology. So yeah, it's like the good parts of HR.
I don't have to deal with people, just computers. I see.
So it's like, it's the best part of human resources because you're not dealing with any humans. Exactly.
You just get to do the resources. So that's the best part.
I get it. Okay.
You work in R. Well, welcome to the show.
Welcome to the show, Rachel. You're going to play the game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction.
Bill, what is Rachel's topic? Collect them all. Who doesn't love a collection? Star Wars figurines, stamps, the still beating hearts of those you've vanquished.
Our panelists are going to tell you about a new collectible out there, one we hadn't heard of before. Pick the one who's telling the truth and you will win our prize, the voice of your choice on your voicemail.
Ready to play? Yep. Okay.
First, let's hear from Shane O'Neill. Boomers traded baseball cards.
Millennials traded Pokemon cards. Gen Z traded their childhoods for a lifetime spent on algorithmically driven social media platforms.
But Gen Alpha has a new hobby, trading OG-san cards. What are OG-san cards? Why, they're trading cards featuring middle-aged men.
Eddie Miyahara, the Secretary General of the Saidosho Community Council, was looking for a way to bridge the town's generation gap.

The obvious solution? Create trading cards featuring local men. Incredibly, it worked.
The Saidosho Community Council just can't meet the demand of local youth eager to trade Mr. Honda, a 74-year-old fire chief, for Mr.
Takashita, an 80-year-old soba noodle maker. The most coveted card is Mr.
Fuji, a 68-year-old former prison guard who has become so popular that local children are asking him for his autograph. As of now, there are no plans to expand the trading card game to include the town's middle-aged women, presumably because no female in Sidosho or the world would want to be involved in something this stupid.
The kids in a town in Japan are collecting trading cards with the middle-aged men of the town on them. Your next collectible chronicle comes from Rachel Koster.
After their Xbox exploded at a sleepover, a group of 11-year-old boys from Syosset, New York,

resorted to watching an old Sherlock's Home DVD,

which caused a new obsession that is a huge mystery to their parents.

The six boys who attended Frankie Giovanni's 11th birthday party have begun collecting tobacco pipes and smoking jackets.

Each boy has amassed dozens of velvet, silk, and satin jackets.

Their fresh new lifestyle has begun to interfere with their extracurriculars. Frankie missed his soccer game because he was weeping over the beauty of an Hermes handkerchief, said Rebecca Giovanni.
Kevin wouldn't come down for his dino nuggets because he was in a bidding war for the jacket from Scarface, said Tony Farina's mother, Trish. The boys now eschew playground time to gather in their finest velvet suits, holding unlit pipes and discussing their bones growing weary, the turbulent market, and the long-forgotten days of third grade.
Boys collecting the accoutrement of the Edwardian era. Pikes and smoking jackets.

Your last new collection comes from Peter Kroos.

The latest fad to sweep rural America?

Everyone's crazy for cheese wax.

11-year-old Celine Duchamp and her family moved to the small town of Coldwater, Ohio,

from Evron, France, where Babybel cheese, those little round red spheres of wax-covered cheese, is made.

She was tray homesick, so her classmates bought Celine 100 wheels of Babybel as a welcome

gift.

She gleefully gorged the cheese, and after the constipation cleared up, she thanked her new friends by stringing the used wax together to make them jewelry. Necklaces, hoop earrings, and clunky bracelets that would have made Mrs.
Roper proud. In the conservative small town, the trend caught on with lightning speed,

and soon everyone was collecting baby bell wax and making red plastic jewelry,

hats, bags, and even dresses,

which one girl wore to the spring dance this week

where she was crowned queen.

Kids in nearby towns have started doing it too,

and it's led to a full-blown red wax panic.

Parents are in an uproar,

local politicians are furious,

and a Presbyterian preacher got so angry he tried to forbid everyone from dancing, and wait a second, that's actually footloose. All right.
Somewhere out there, somebody is excited. Somebody's excited about a new collectible.
Was it from Shane O'Neill, the kids in a small Japanese town who are all collecting and trading the cards depicting the middle-aged and older men in their town with all their stats in the back, I presume, from Rachel Costner, a town in Long Island where a bunch of boys are all really into smoking jackets, or from Peter Gross, a town in Ohio where everybody's collecting those wax rinds from little Baby Bell cheeses. Which of these is the story of a new collectible we read about in the news? You know, I think it has to be the Baby Bell wax.
I just feel like that's something I would have done as like a 12-year-old. So you can see yourself as a 12-year-old just like going, Mom, I just need

more of that baby belt, throwing away the cheese, keeping the wax. Well, to bring you the real

story, we spoke to a reporter covering it. The community center actually created the cards to

be just collectible, but it was the kids who added the battling aspect. That was Andrew Corbley of

the Good News Network talking about the collectible old man cards in the town in Japan. So even though Peter's idea was delicious and tempting, to me as well, sadly, he was lying to you.
And Shane was telling the truth. So sadly, you didn't win, but you earned a point for Peter and the right to go out and have some Baby Bell whenever you want.
Oh, God. Thank you.
Well, thanks for playing. Take care.
Bye-bye. And now the game we call Not My Job.
Austin Goolsbee was chair of Barack Obama's Council of Economic Advisors, and then he became a professor at the University of Chicago, and in 2022 became the president of the Federal Reserve Bank of

Chicago, which we assume means he's in charge of finally winning the war with the Federal Reserve

Bank of Kansas City. We thought it'd be a great time to hear from somebody who can tell us what

the hell is going on. So Austin Goolsbee, welcome back to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Yeah, it's great to see you again. Great to be with you again.
So I guess I'll just start with

the What the hell is going on? So Austin Goolsbee, welcome back to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. It's great to see you again.
Great to be with you again. So I guess I'll just start with this.
How was your week? It was a bumpy week, wasn't it? It was a little bit, a little bit. This is a day or a week or a month or a year, or this is the life of the Fed.
You know, the Fed was invented coming out of the panic of 1907.

So we've been dealing with financial stability and market chaos

and cleaning up messes for a long, long time.

So as I said, you were named to be president

of the Federal Reserve Bank of Chicago.

What does that mean exactly?

What do we do all day? I still ask myself that question. There's five functions of the Fed.
I kind of think of it as being on your hand. At the base, it is monetary policy.
It's the opposable thumb. It's what separates us from the animals.
And we have a research department.

We go every six weeks or so to Washington, D.C.

for the Federal Open Market Committee.

The shades come down.

There's a giant table, and they go around the room.

And it's kind of, I don't know, it's kind of paradise if you're an econ nerd.

All right, let me interrupt.

So I understand that there are 12 Federal Reserve Banks,

and some of them, some of you presidents, get to be in that Open Markets Committee.

And that's like this weird arcane thing where you meet and everybody stands outside like you're naming a new pope. And then...
There's no pope and there's no flyers. But other than that, yes, that's pretty much how it is.
And then the head... Is Ray Fiennes in it? Because he was so good at it.
And then what always happens is the head of the Federal Reserve comes out and he announces that if you're going to raise or lower or leave interest rates alone. Yeah, pretty much.
Everybody sits around the table. There are boards of, the board of governors are political appointees and they're at theC.
Fed. And then 12 of the 19 people around the table are from the 12 reserve banks.
The Chicago district's kind of heart of the Midwest. It's most all of Iowa, Wisconsin, Illinois, Indiana, Michigan.
I feel a little regional pride. Do you guys get into, like, rivalries? Like, you know, you start trying to load it.
Oh, yeah, majorly. Yes.

Like, give me an example of, like, how you guys, like, how you would talk trash with,

like, the head of the Atlanta Federal Reserve Bank, said.

Yeah, the head of the Atlanta Federal Reserve is Rafael Bossi.

He's an old friend of mine.

And he was, in fact, the guy that... Yeah, but he's not here, man.

Like, say something.

So I could talk about him.

When I was applying for the job, actually, he's the first guy I called.

I said, what do you do all day?

You know, tell me about this job. I try, when I go to make my statement, I try every meeting to come with some receipts about why we're the greatest district in America.
Like that something on the order of 90% of the pumpkins grown in America are grown within a 100 mile radius of Peoria, Illinois. If we have a meeting around Halloween, you bet I'm trotting that one out.
Oh man, Austin's going on about the pumpkins again. Yeah's no question.
I have no problem with that. Can I ask a personal question? You may, go ahead, please.
Mr. Goolsbee, I'm sorry, I'm sure you're tired of people asking this, but just in light of the tariffs and everything that's happened this week, should I buy or sell my Beanie Babies? Please say buy.
It's all about the price. What can you get for them? Exactly.
Well, it's also an emotional commitment. It really is.
We did, in fact, want to talk to you about what's going on. You may remember that when you joined us back in 2018, we asked you if you could explain what tariffs were and how they worked.
And you gave us this wonderful metaphor of using a tariff to fix your economy is like using an explosive to clear a clogged drain. And that you may get good results.
And my Aunt Trina's lasagna. Exactly.
It was amazing. And so if your Aunt Trina's lasagna was sufficient to explain the relatively low tariffs that President Trump was putting in place then, what would

be adequate to explain what he's doing now? Well, look, at that last, the last time we talked about tariffs, I forgot to give my Aunt Tarina any warning that I had talked about. All her friends began calling her up.

And they said,

is it true your lasagna? She was like, I thought it was a pot roast. Oh, that's a huge mistake.
I mean, those are two. If you're looking at a pot roast recipe and lasagna comes out, you need to read that recipe.
But now, I mean, instead of, I'm guessing, and maybe you can't speak about it because

of your position now, but I'm guessing like instead of Antrina's lasagna being stuck in

the pipes, now it's Antrina.

He's down there, nothing else is going down.

The way you've phrased it is right, Peter, and that is when you become a sworn member

of the Federal Reserve, you don't have to sacrifice your Antrina, no, but you are out

Thank you. phrase that is right, Peter, and that is when you become a sworn member of the Federal Reserve, you don't have to sacrifice your aunt Trina.
No, but you are out of the fiscal policy business. So Congress and the president, in their wisdom, can do anything they want.
I would say the Chicago Fed motto is like the Chicago City motto. There is no bad weather.
There is only bad clothing. You tell us the conditions.
We pick the jacket and we get on with it. The Fed is who you call when it's like clean up aisle three and we go out and we clean it up.
If it's peanut butter, it's different than if it's milk But basically, our job is to weigh in there. Well, Austin Goolsbee, it's always so great to talk to you.
You make economics far less dreary. But we have invited you...
It's not dreary at all. What? How could you say that? That's what I mean.
That's what I mean. It's your enthusiasm that does it for us.
But we have invited you here to play a game we're calling... Goolsby? Goolsby Shoppin'.

So we're thinking about your name,

Austin Goolsby, and we wonder

Goolsby, Goolsby what?

Shopping, of course. Goolsby Shoppin'.

And where would Goolsby

Shoppin'? Spirit Halloween.

Of course.

We're going to ask you three

questions about the nationwide chain of

pop-up costume stories. You'll win our prize for one of our listeners, the voice of anyone they may choose for their voicemail.
Bill, who is Chicago Federal Reserve President Austin Goolsbee playing for? Aaron Davis of Sacramento, California. Yeah.
Let me apologize up front, Aaron. I hope I can deliver, but I don't

know. All right.
Here's your first question. Spirit Halloween actually pays to license their

costumes based on movies and TV, but others don't, such as Walmart, who sold a, obviously,

a Wednesday Addams costume, but they called it what? A, evil midweek cutie. B, Tuesday Eves.
Or C, goth nine-year-old. It has to be the evil midweek cutie.
It is, sir. It is.
It is.

Of course.

Of course.

Of course.

Very well done, yeah.

All right, here's your next question.

Although their main focus is the three months, of course, around Halloween, Spirit Halloween

as a company has tried to expand its brand with which of these?

A, Spirit Halloween the movie.

B, Spirit Halloween fresh home meal kits. or C, Spirit Halloween the water park.
Yikes. Those are the three choices? Those are the three choices.
I mean, how would it be anything but a movie? And you're right again. Yes, Spirit Halloween the movie.
It's about three teenagers who get locked in a Spirit Halloween store on Halloween and ghostly hijinks ensue. It was released on streaming in 2022.
All right. Last question this evening.
Be perfect. Spirit Halloween, of course, most famous for their sexy whatever costumes, you know.
Which of these is a real sexy Halloween costume? A, sexy Mr. Peanut.
B, sexy Walter White from Breaking Bad. Or C, sexy pizza rat.
Oh my goodness. It has to be the sexy pizza rat.
It is, but they're all real. All of them.
You can be any one of those you like. Bill, how did Austin Goolsbee do on our quiz? As expected, he got them all right.
Austin, you're a winner. Congratulations again.
I think you're two for two on our show. And after you appeared earlier on our show,

you became president of the Federal Reserve.

So I can only imagine what glories await you now, sir.

I thought you were going to say how much I owe you.

And the check is in the mail.

Austin Goolsbee was one of Salon.com's 15 Sexiest Men of 2010.

He's also the president of the Federal Reserve Bank of Chicago. Austin

Goolsbee, thank you so much for coming back and joining us.

Thank you, sir.

Take care.

In just a minute, we will

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I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Rachel Koster, Peter Gross, and Shane O'Neill.
And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Segal. Thank you, Bill.
In just a minute, it's the game where if you lose, everybody backstage makes fun of you. It's the Listener Limerick Challenge.
If you'd like to play, even now, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924.
Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Peter, a super fan of the rapper Young Thug recently showed off his new tattoo online, which covers his entire back.
It's a picture of three galloping horses under the Young Thug lyric, horses don't stop, they keep going. There's just one problem with the tattoo.
What? It's either a misspelling or they're not horses. Well, you're right.
They're not horses in the lyric. The actual lyric in the young thug rap is, Hustlers don't stop.
They keep going. And so the guy got the tattoo.
God knows how much time and money went into it and pain. And he posted a picture and it drew dozens of comments from other young thug fans.
And they're all saying, what do you mean? And they were all like, what do you mean? He's not saying horses. Everybody thought he was saying horses.
Did he have to weigh in? Yeah, he did weigh in. This is true.
Young thug himself weighed in. And this is what he said.
He made a promise to enunciate better and his fourth grade like teacher was like i always thought gerald could enunciate a little bit better exactly yeah he is lucky that horses don't stop they do just keep going it's true so he wasn't even wrong even though he was you know a young thug has to do now is write Horses Don't Stop. Just to justify the ink.
He can retroactively validate the tattoo. I love it.
This does make me feel better about my tattoo which says dance like no one's horses. Or the guy, he can modify the tattoo and just give them like sunglasses and bandanas and like cool shirts and then be like, they're hustlers.
They're hustlers. They're horse hustlers.
These are horses. They're hustlers.
Shane, a mountain village in Italy has started to draw tourists and even new residents after deciding to like lead with the fact that their town is absolutely overrun with what? Dandruff. No.
Rats? No, bigger. Oh, God.

Bigger than a rat?

Smaller than a dandruff?

Well, we only knew they crap in the woods.

Now they can just crap on Main Street.

Bears!

Bears!

Yes, bears.

If you've ever enjoyed gorgeous scenery in a rustic village but said,

I wish it were more terrifying, we know where you should plan your next vacation.

You should visit Petrano Sulgizio, which translates to, Mamma mia, look behind you. For years, people have been afraid of the bears around there, but now they're embracing it.
Goodbye, bear traps. Hello, tourist traps.
And now a bunch of fat, hairy, gay guys are like, hey, Italy it is! There you go! Wait, where in Italy? It must be super far north, right? I don't picture them down in the Chiquitere bears. No, no, no.
They're up in the Apennine Mountains up in the north of the country, near the Alps. What the town did is they bear-proofed it so the bears can't get into the garbage cans and stuff.
And this new ecological focus is like a bear reserve has increased tourism tenfold. It's a big turnaround for a town that was home to 5,000 people back in 1920, but now has a permanent population of just 390.
Oh, wait. Wait a minute.
Now it's 389. I was going to say all the flights there are booked, and all the ones back are like half-empty flights.
This is great long-range planning. This year, you're the town with all the bears.
Ten years from now, you'll be the town with the best ghost tours. There's that rhyme about the bears.
Like, if it's black, fight back. If it's brown, lie down.
So then, like, if it's Italian. You're stallion.
Yeah. Wait.
There is a bear about whom the advice is lay down? Yeah, it's like you're supposed to. Is the bear like, oh, no, it's someone sleeping.
I'm so sorry. I really apologize.
It's play deck. Brown bears are really respectful of rats.
They just get it. They come over and they're like, here's an eye patch.
I'm the celestial season bear. Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme.
If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924.
You can see us most weeks here at the Studi Baker Theater in Chicago or on the road. We'll be in Portland, Maine, June 26th and 27th and at Tanglewood in Western Massachusetts on August 28th.
Tickets and info are at nprpresents.org. Hi, Aaron.
Wait, wait, don't tell me. Hi, this is Lori Riccio from Providence, Rhode Island.
Hey, Lori Riccio from Providence. Hi, Peter.
I love Providence. It's an Italian tone going way back.
Are you like one of those long-term Providence Italian families? Nope. Only half Italian.
So I spent half my life in Westerly, Rhode Island, and the other half in Providence. Westerly, Rhode Island, and Providence are four miles apart.
You could walk from one to the other. Easy to quit my time.
Yes,

exactly. Well, welcome to the show, Lori.
Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related

limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or

phrase correctly, two of the limericks will be a winner. You ready to apply? Yep.
Here is your

first limerick. Big striped cats are my comfort providers.
When they roar, they imbue moral fiber. Though they make small prey nervous, they do me a service.
Don't rid me of my seven... Oh, I can't...
I don't know. Big striped cats might be a bit of a clue.
Tiger. Tigers, yes.
Oh, sorry. When officials came to seize a Nevada man's unauthorized big cat collection, the man claimed that all seven of his tigers were service animals.
He was arrested. The tigers were taken to an animal sanctuary, which is kind of a shame because I would have loved first

to see him try to get on a plane with seven tigers,

each of them wearing an enormous

don't pet me, I'm working vest.

And if he was like, without these tigers,

I'm so anxious.

This is true.

He claimed that his seven grown tigers

helped him with his PTSD,

which I assume stands for petting tigers

I'm sorry. they can't tell the difference between a pumpkin and an unwell head.
Or a well head. Who knows? All right.
Here is your next limerick. Small tattoo gun, flat bed, and a clamped lamp.
I'm all prepped as a freshly revamped scamp. Soon I'll have inky tracks on my flat lower back.
I embrace the return of the... Tramp stamp? Tramp stamp! Yes! I thought no one would ever get that.
Tramp stamps are the lower back tattoos that in the 90s were associated with promiscuity and in the 2000s were associated with laser removal.

But now, according to some of the nations, top tattoo artists' lower back tattoos are making a comeback.

Of course, tattoo artists have always loved tramp stamps because it's so hard for you to see whether they made a mistake.

Obviously, things are different with the younger generation. For one thing, nowadays they don't always have to be a butterfly.
And these tattoos don't have to be slutty. My tramp stamp says, true love waits.
I'm a barista in Brooklyn. This news is not very shocking to me.
All my coworkers are sporting them. What are they getting? Just like really scary like skulls and stuff.

Are they doing like cyber signals?

Scary skull tramps?

Yeah, they're all like goth and LGBT.

And skull, the goth crossover is like crucial, I guess.

I'm old enough to remember when gay people had taste.

We need queer elders now more than ever.

We need queer elders. I will happily come to your coffee shop and bully your gay barista co-workers.
Thank you. Here is your last limerick.
No matter how well runners train, a marathon makes them insane. There's the pain and the smell and the loss of gray cells, because the strain makes them shrink their own...

Brain.

Exactly right.

According to new research,

running a marathon can deplete the part of your brain

in charge of motor skills and emotional regulation

for up to two months after the race.

But hey, you get a medal.

So basically, during the race, as your body depletes its stored energy, it starts eating your brain fats after it's gotten rid of your, like, pasta fats. Come on, body, my love handles are right there.
I've been at bars when running clubs come in. Afterwards, you don't need to tell me twice that they're a little dumb Bill how did Lori do in our quiz? Perfect three in a row Well done Thank you so much for playing Lori Thank you Peter Take care Can't you tell I'm not well? I need a new brain.

Pack it in.

Start again with one I can train.

I was bound to let you down.

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Discover more at Viking.com. Now it's time for our final game, Lightning Fill-in-the-Blank.
Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points.
Bill, can you give us the scores? Shane has two. Peter and Rachel each have three.
That's exciting. It is.
So that means, Shane... It feels good to win.
So that means, Shane, you are in second place, right? So the clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank.

On Tuesday,

the Supreme Court said that the White House

had no obligation

to rehire workers

who were laid off by blank.

Donald Trump?

Or Doge?

Doge, yeah.

On Tuesday,

the acting commissioner

of the blank

announced plans

to leave the agency.

I mean, name all of them.

I don't know, a whole bunch.

This week, it was the IRS.

As part of a prisoner exchange,

ballet dancer Kassinia Karolina

was released from detention in blank. Russia.
Right, on Thursday, the lineup for this year's Blank Film Festival was announced. Cam? Yep.
This week, police escorted a woman off her flight after she refused to Blank. Share her Diet Coke.
So close. Pay for the Pringles, she ordered.
On Tuesday, Mattel announced that LeBron James would become the first male athlete to become a Blank doll. A Ken doll! Right.
On Thursday, comedy institution Blank announced a British spinoff. Oh, SML.
Yes, this week a man in Montreal whose car was parked legally still got a ticket because the city blanked overnight. Froze.
No, turned the parking space into a bus stop. What? Cruise, he parked, perfectly legal space, then Cruise came out, converted that street parking into a bus stop overnight, and minutes after completing the job, they gave the man a ticket for being parked at a bus stop.
Even worse, even worse, they converted his car into a bus, and now there's a guy in his back seat FaceTiming without headphones on. I don't know.
I don't feel bad about the tariffs anymore. Yeah, you are.
Get him. Bill, how does Shane do in our quiz? Five right for 10 more points.
His total of 12 puts him in the lead. Well done.
Here we go. So, arbitrarily, why don't I pick Rachel to go next? Thank you.
You're very welcome. I don't know why you're thanking me, but here we go.
Rachel, you're up next. Fill in the blank.
On Thursday, the House passed the GOP's blank plan. It's a new one for fishing.
Fishing plan. No, their budget plan.
This week, federal judges temporarily halted the deportation of several men from blank. El Salvador.
No, Venezuela. On Monday, Florida defeated Houston to win the 2025 Men's Blank Championship.
Basketball. Right.
NCAA, while speaking to a panel in California, Secretary of Education Linda McMahon repeatedly referred to AI as blank. Good.
No, she referred to it as A1. Saucy.
On Tuesday, a list of the world's best airports were released, and blank of them were located in the U.S. Most.
No, none. This week, a rugby game in France was delayed

after the person who was supposed to parachute into the match

holding the game ball blanked.

I got scared.

No, got stuck on the stadium roof.

The man was gliding down gracefully

when the parachute got caught in the ceiling of the stadium overhang,

leaving him dangling in front of thousands of fans. While holding the ball, they needed to start the game.
Oh, no. They're like, just drop it.
Drop the ball. Oh, I did bad.
Well, let's find out, Bill. How did Rachel do in our quiz? One right.
Thank you, guys. It's not as easy as it looks.
But it gives her two more points, which means that she has five. Bit of a genius.
So how many, then, does Peter Gross need to win this thing? Five to win. All right.
Here we go, Peter. This is for the game.
In a reversal to his typical stance, Blank urged people to get the measles vaccine this week. Oh, RFK Jr.
On Tuesday, a federal judge said the administration's decision to limit the AP's access to Trump violated the Blank. The First Amendment.
Yeah, the Constitution. This week, rescue workers are still searching for survivors after a nightclub's roof collapsed in Blank.
Oh, at Dominican Republic. Exactly right.
On Wednesday, it was ruled that Newsmax had defamed Dominion voting systems when they said the blank was rigged. The 2020 election.
Right. After ending a career of over 20 years, it was revealed that a judge in Brazil's real name was José de Reis and not blank like he had always claimed.
Maria de Reis. No, it was not Edward Albert Lancelot Dodd Canterbury, Caternum, Wickfield.
I can't wait to get that one. According to a new study,

heavy... Maria de Reis.
No, it was not Edward Albert Lancelot Dodd Canterbury Caterham Wickfield.

I can't wait to get that one.

According to a new study, heavy blanking increases risk of cognitive decline.

It can't be heavy petting.

No.

Heavy drinking.

Heavy drinking.

This week, a plumber in Indiana who wasn't paid after unclogging the pipes at a local restaurant blanked.

Clogged the pipes intentionally. He did.
He went back and reclogged the pipes. It was an ingenious way to get paid, and it worked.
But it made for the weirdest job listing of all time. Wanted you and all your hairiest friends to come shower in a restaurant's sink.
Bill, did Peter do well enough to win? He did. 15 his total score Congratulations, yay! Well done Thank you Well, in just a minute we're going to ask our panelists to predict Now that we have the dire wolf What will science bring back next? But first let me tell you that Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago In association with Urgent Aircraft Productions Doug Bermanerman, Benevolent Overlord.
Philip Kotiker is our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman.
Our tour manager is Shana Donald. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Student Baker Theater.
BJ Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Norbos, and Lillian King.
Special thanks to Blythe Robertson and Monica Hickey. Peter Gwynn is our emotional support producer.
Emma Choi is our vibe curator. Our jolly good fellow is Hannah Anderson.
Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller.
Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilag.
And the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Michael Danforth. Now, panel, what will science bring back next? Shane O'Neill.
The extremely frivolous wolf. Rachel Koster.
Your hairline. And Peter Gross.
They will bring back all the dads who went out for cigarettes and never returned. And if that happens, we're going ask you about it right here on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Thank you, Bill Curtis.

Thanks also to Shane O'Neill, Rachel Costner, and Peter Gross.

Thanks to our fabulous audience here at the Studebaker Theater in downtown Chicago, Illinois,

and all of you for listening wherever you may be.

I'm Peter Sagal.

We'll see you next week from Durham, North Carolina. This is NPR.
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