WWDTM: mxmtoon

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Learn more at insperity. Chioki Ianson.
And here's your host at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Chiyoki.
Thank you, everybody. Yes, it's great to see you, too.
Great to be with you. We have a fabulous show for you all today.
Later on, we're going to be talking to the musician MXM Tune, who has become hugely popular performing her music online. Basically, she is to the internet what Bruce Springsteen is to New Jersey.
And we want to hear your hits, so give us a call and play our games. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT.
That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant.
Hi, everyone. Wait, wait, don't tell me.
Hi, this is Daniel calling from St. Paul, Minnesota.
I love St. Paul, one of my favorite places.
We have some people who came down for the warmth of Chicago. What do you do there? I'm a plant biology PhD student here at the University of Minnesota, which I was delighted to hear shouted out last week by Rose Madafeo.
Yes, Rose Madafeo, our guest, became an accidental supporter of the University of Minnesota, where she wore one of your shirts on her TV special. Is everybody at the University of Minnesota talking about that? Is it just the buzz of the campus? Well, I'm a PhD student and I work with, you know, professors and we all obviously listen to NPR, so some of them are, but...
Right, exactly. So, but basically what you're saying is you're a PhD plant biology student.
You don't talk to anybody. He talks to his plants.
Exactly. Well, welcome to the show, Daniel.
Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First, the contributor to CBS Sunday Morning, it's Faith Saley.
Hi, Daniel. Hi, Faith.
Next, a comedian headlining The Laughing Tap in Milwaukee, March 20th through the 22nd, and at the Gramercy in New York City on May 29th, it's Hari Kondabolu. Hey, Daniel.
And you can see her February 8th in Glendale, California at the Alex Theater and hear her just about every week on the podcast. Nobody listens to Paula Poundstone.
It's Paula Poundstone. Hey, Daniel.
So, Daniel, welcome to the show. You're going to play Who's Chayoke? This time, Chayoke Ianson, filling in for Bill Curtis.
We're going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you'll win our prize.
Any voice from our show you might choose in your voicemail. You ready to apply? Absolutely.
All right. Your first quote is from the governor of the great state of Louisiana.
I hope everyone is safe and warm at home with a big pot of gumbo. What rare weather event are the people of Louisiana dealing with this week? Well, I guess it's rare for Louisiana, but it's not rare for me in Minnesota.
I'm guessing the answer is snow. Yes, snow, yes.
You and me and all the other northerners were laughing as we looked at New Orleans covered in snow. They warned us the weather would get weird.
It has a cold front moved across the south, dumping a record-breaking 10 inches of snow on New Orleans. But the party goes on, right? It always does there on Bourbon Street.
You take off your shirt, you get beads and frostbite. I was thinking this happened a little too early because if it happened during Mardi Gras, it could be like that ring toss, right? You take off your shirt and you'd throw the beads and they'd just, boing, they'd just stay if you had a good toss.
I have no idea what you're referring to, Faith. But, I mean, can you imagine what's going on in the city right now?

All the drunken bachelorette parties staggering into stores to buy everybody emergency Uggs.

Usually when there's this much snow in New Orleans, it's going up people's noses.

Am I right, everybody?

Mardi Gras.

Yeah.

Ha ha.

It's the first time, at least in modern memory, snow has come to that city down there on the Gulf of America.

The Big Easy, more like the Big Freezy.

I had written it down, and I didn't want to give it up.

I appreciate that.

I support you.

And Daniel, you will appreciate this.

If somebody lives in Minnesota, I live in Chicago, nothing is more fun than watching people in a state that never gets snow trying to deal with snow. It's great.
They're out there with like whisk brooms and spatulas. Do you think they spell it S-N-E-A-U-X there? Y'all, we got snow.
We got some snow. Now, Daniel, your next quote is somebody who launched a new social movement for January.
Why am I grumbling right now? And is it necessary? So that person, she's based in Belgium. She started this movement, which is asking people to not do what for the whole month of January? Oh, my.
It's not dry January, because that's been a thing for a while. Right, it is.
So this is a new... But you are on the right track.
Dry January means no wine. This means no whining.
Not complaining. Not complaining, yes.
Welcome, everybody, to No Complaining January. You've heard of Dry January, now a social campaign movement out of Belgium and the Netherlands has banned complaining for the entire month.
It's a great idea, and whoever decided to pair it with a month that I also gave up alcohol, genius. This no complaining business feels ageist.
Yeah, really. Because what are my parents supposed to do? That's what they're retired.
They're in their seventies. They complain.
They watch TV. And they talk behind each other's backs to their children.
Really? Well, you're going to ban that too now? We're not going to do that? Talking behind each other's backs strikes me as another sort of subset of complaining,

right?

Because they're not calling you up and going, Harry, your father, he's so wonderful.

Oh, right.

No, no, no, no.

You're right.

One and three are the same.

Exactly.

On the other hand, I mean, it would be a good exercise to just spend one month trying to

look on the bright side of whatever happens to you.

So you're like, you know, some of these bankruptcy judges, they're really nice. For example, although the real problem...
These extra pounds really fill out my pounds! Exactly! Now you've got it! I've never noticed how interesting the inside roof of an ambulance is, now that I can stare at it for a while. I mean, that's what I mean.
It's really cold out, but I didn't want those balls anyways. All right, here, Daniel, is your last quote.
It's called boomerasking. If you do it, stop.
Now, that was from a Wall Street Journal article on boomerasking, which is the latest trend in conversation they are noting and condemning. It's boomerang asking.
And what that is, is when you ask someone a question just so they will do what? Just so they'll like ask you the question again. Exactly.
Ask you the same question, right? So boomer asking is the term that was just invented for asking someone a question, not because you were interested in their answer, but just because you want them to ask you that question so you can tell them what you want to tell them. It was in the Wall Street Journal.
Do you guys read that every day, Pamela? Because-

I don't know, Peter, do you read

the Wall Street Journal every day?

Well, as a matter of fact, I do.

There you go, very good.

That's boomer asking, we just demonstrated it.

I thought boomer asking is when you ask your parents

who are boomers, like, hey,

did you know the flashlight's on on your phone?

Did you take your statin?

Or when your father asks you if you've watched Yellowstone yet.

So I could go up to somebody and be like, have you heard of Hari Kondabolu?

I'm Hari Kondabolu.

That's not exactly it.

I'm going to do it anyway.

You can say the Wall Street Journal told you it was okay, right?

You know, Peter, the truth is the boomer asking thing would never work on me. Why? Because if somebody asked me how I was, I would just keep telling them.
That's true. I have a tenancy.
I'm one of the most selfish people I've ever been in my life. If someone comes to my house, which they rarely do because I'm very selfish, but if someone comes to my house, you know, I'll be eating and drinking the whole time they're there.
I'll have a soda. I'll eat some chips.
And it's not until they're on the way out the door that I realize, oh, geez, did you want anything to eat? I just really, it would be weird if you're like, if you realize your therapist is doing this and all along, all along, she's just wanted you to ask

her about her mother.

Yeah. What are your big

feelings? Exactly.

Chiochi, how did Daniel do on our

quiz? Eh, can't complain.

Hey! There you go. Daniel got all

three right. Congratulations, Daniel.

Nice work, Daniel. Thank you.

Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Faith, the New York Times offered a new way to experience local culture while traveling.
Just do what? Just, so it's something like when in Rome, act like a native. When in Rome, do this.
When in Rome, try to speak that language, even if you don't know how. No.
Nope. Well, as they say in France, I'm loving it.
Oh, gosh. Go to McDonald's? Yes.
What? Go to McDonald's. A travel writer points out that while Americans usually seek out, you know, these out-of-the-way authentic local cafes in a foreign country.
All the people who live there eating at McDonald's to get away from the tourists at the authentic cafes. Right? So you'll find the locals at the local McDonald's? That's what he says.
He says it's a great way to meet just normal people who live where you're visiting. This is McDonald's propaganda.
There's no way the New York Times has been paid off by McDonald's. I'm going to say it right now.
Yeah. Was it okay? The guy who the travel guy? Travel guy.
Is he kind of tall with red hair? Very pale skin. No, he points out that, you know, we've had they've had McDonald's as long as we've had things like Chinese and Thai restaurants.
So why can't we say those restaurants over there are just a part of their culture?

And they do have the French fries.

They do.

They do.

And of course, you know, there are variations in the menus from country to country in India.

It's all vegetarian, for example.

Plus, it's so fun to walk in and be like, tell me, here in your country, what does your

grimace look like?

I mean, if you're really trying to meet the locals, why not go to their DMV?

That's actually a pretty good question.

Why not just cut off your hand and spend some time in their medical system? Coming up, strap on your tool belts. It's a DIY Bluff to Listener game.
Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPO.
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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Chioki Ianson.
We're playing this week with Paula Poundstone, Hari Kondabolu, and Faith Saley. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.
Thank you, Chioki. Thank you, everybody.
Yes. Right now it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, Bluff the Listener Game.
Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game in the air. Or you can always check out the pinned post on our Instagram page, at Wait, Wait, NPR.
Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, my name is Savannah Morello and I'm calling from Odenton, Maryland.
Oh, I love Maryland. What do you do there? I'm a fermentation scientist.
You are what? A fermentation scientist. Not the fun kind of fermentation that we all enjoy.
I make nutritional lipids and algae and stuff like that. Wow.
So when you went to science school, you said, I want to do fermentation, but not the fun kind. Yeah, I think there was too much alcohol, and then I checked the wrong fermentation box.
Always a mistake. Well, welcome to the show, Savannah.
You're going to play our game in which you have to tell truth from fiction. Shoki, what is Savannah's topic? Do it yourself.
Why have something done well when you could do it yourself instead? Our panelists are going to tell you about somebody who did a surprising do-it-yourself project this week with interesting results. Pick the one who's telling the truth, and you can win the wait waiter of your choice in your voicemail.
Are you ready to play? I'm ready, let's go. Well, first let's hear from Hari Kondabolu.
Park ranger Nikki Fisher has overseen Abraham Lincoln's boyhood home in Southern Indiana for 20 years. But recently, visitor numbers have dwindled.
Three months ago, ranger Nikki decided to take things into her own hands. Quote, there's always videos of traffic in Yellowstone because people are gaga over some elk.
People, they're just fancy deer. So after sending $1,000 to a company called No Questions Asked Animals Direct Online, Nikki bought a herd of elk and planted them right in front of the front gate.
People were confused about how they got there, but I just said, quote, climate change is crazy. And they bought it.
When the initial buzz died down, Nicky upped the ante. Soon there were two bison living in the park.
A month later, a herd of flamingos flew in. Wildlife experts were finally called in when a local farmer spotted a Bengal tiger in his chicken coop.
Now that all the animals have been returned to their countries of origin, Nikki has now moved on to her next project, finding a new job. A park ranger decides that she wants her park to not be quite so boring and gets to work.
Your next self-sufficiency story comes from Paula Poundstone. Plastic surgeon Chen Weinong recorded himself performing his own vasectomy as a gift to his wife, not realizing, presumably, that there are services that can help men choose unique and treasured gifts.
A vasectomy is a form of birth control in which the surgeon cuts and seals the tubes that carry sperm. And although a vasectomy is an effective means of birth control, so are mutton chops.
In the tutorial video, the doctor slash patient applied anesthetic cream to numb his genitals before having at them with a scalpel and surgical clamp to perform the surgery, during which he only once seized with pain, perhaps thinking, roses, she might have liked roses. A doctor performs his own vasectomy as a gift to his wife, cutting out the middleman, I guess.
Your last homespun tale comes from Faith Saley. Mike Hickman asked his four-year-old Sadie what she wanted for her birthday, and she replied, Bluey's daddy, aka Bandit, the relentlessly fun Australian dog of the hit cartoon series that leaves every parent feeling crushingly inadequate.
So Mike fulfilled his daughter's dream himself. He dressed as Bandit and improvised for the first half hour of Sadie's party Using a terrible Australian accent that left guests asking if Bluey's dad was from Boston But no human can keep up that level of playfulness Especially when you're stifling in a Bandit suit from Amazon Prime And four-year-olds keep climbing on you to play horsey on the doggie.
So Bandit broke. Get the hell off me! He then commanded so much compliance for the rest of the party that the kids called him Mean Bluey's Daddy, sir.
And other parents started hiring Mean Bluey's Daddy to implement order at their kids' parties. He's even started a parenting YouTube channel called Meany until the cease and desist letter from Disney comes.
Mean Bluey Daddy. All right, let me review these do-it-yourself projects, one of which we found in the news.
From Hari Kondabolu, an enterprising park ranger at Lincoln's birthplace decides to make it more, you know, national park-like. From Paula Poundstone, a doctor who performed his own vasectomy on himself.
And from Faith Saley, somebody who tried to be a character from TV on his own and ended up coming up with his own meaner, more effective version. Which of these is the real story of a do-it-yourself project in the news? I am going to have to go against our American medical system and go with Paula's story about the DIY vasectomy.
You're going to go with Paula's story about the DIY vasectomy. Well, that's your choice then to bring you the real answer.
We spoke to an expert on this particular act of creation. Despite how many vasectomies I do, I don't think I'm ever

going to be able to do it all myself. That was Dr.
Jugen Cancel, founder of Down There Urology,

talking about the DIY vasectomy. Congratulations, Savannah, you got it right.
Thank you so much.

Take care. And now the game we call Not My Job.
When she was in high school in Oakland, California, a young woman named Maya picked the online handle MXM Tune and started posting videos of herself playing the ukulele and began to blow up. Today she is touring the world performing her own original music with millions of followers on every platform and a new album called Liminal Space MXM Tune.
Welcome to Wait Wait Don't Tell Me. This is the most surreal experience I've ever had in my life.
If I understand correctly your your stage name, your online name, MXM Tune, began because you were a cartoonist as a very young person, and you were posting cartoons, right? I was. My dad is actually the person who created the handle, so I'll have to hand it to him.
He is also a longtime fan of Wait Wait, so I have to mention it. He created it when I was 11 years old and was things on like my cartoons on the internet and thought that would be my claim to fame.
Right. It was not.
No. But something was, and I'm told it was the ukulele.
Yeah. So you were posting your videos of yourself playing the ukulele.
How did you know they were getting popular? I mean, let me tell you, Peter. There's a thing called a view count and a light count.
And I saw that number kind of slowly creep up and then get exponentially bigger. And then suddenly, I didn't go to college and I was a full-time musician.
So that is where I'm at. Wow.
You know, there's a man who gave himself a vasectomy and filmed it. And it got 4 million views.
How about you? I'm definitely not beating out that vasectomy video. So I'd say that that's where I'm at.
Well, if you can find a man who will do that while you play the ukulele. I'm curious.
So you just said you blew up in the internet playing music, so you decided to skip college and become a professional musician. Did you, did you like walk into your parents one day and say, guess what, everybody, I'm skipping college and I'm going to go just be a musician on YouTube? Essentially, there was two coming outs that came out as bisexual in 2017, and then the far scarier one was coming out as a musician who didn't want to pursue higher education, which was mortifying to both of my parents who are both educators.
Yeah. But they've been nothing but supportive.
Really? I was about like queer and a musician. I'm guessing the first one was easier.
The first one was actually way easier. Yeah.
I mean, I'm from the Bay Area. I grew up in queer spaces.
And yeah, they were definitely more horrified to know that I didn't want to go and pursue an architecture degree. In both cases, was it a kind of ceremonious thing? Did you sit them down and kind of hold hands? Like when my brother came out, he made my mom sit down and watch The Little Mermaid with him.
And then he turned to her and told her. He came out to me at Chick-fil-A.
I mean, everyone has their thing. I think both felt maybe slightly ceremonious as they were done in the passenger seat of my parents' car and a passing moment, hoping that maybe, you know, we would figure it out from there.
Did it get to the point where your parents never wanted to get in the car with you? Oh my gosh. Honestly, I think we're still at that point.
I'm a freshly licensed driver at the age of 24 about three months ago. So I'd say they're definitely a little bit scared to be in the car with me.
I want to talk a little bit about your music because you've progressed at, and I mean no offense to the great ukulele players, but you have progressed far beyond merely playing the ukulele. You are writing and performing these beautiful heartfelt songs that actually remind me of like the great torch singers like Dionne Warwick or Peggy Lee or these amazing women who sang these heartfelt songs about heartbreak and stuff.
Did you have a particular inspiration? Did you have a sound or a person you were trying to emulate or reach when you started singing and writing and singing your own songs? Maybe Kermit the Frog, I think, is the only person that comes to mind. Really? He's just the best.
I love him. What's better than that? You're listening to Kermit and you go, you know what else? It's not easy being me.
It's not easy being me. I want to sing about that.
What I love about your music is it's timeless, but it seems very much for and by your generation, which I guess technically is Gen Z. Am I right about that? Like you have this one lyric in one of your songs, one of your love songs that I love, where you talk about, the singer talks about a relationship with this other person.
We snap together like Legos. And I was like, that is perfect.
It is, except that the plural of Lego is just Lego, and I found that out way too late. Really? It doesn't matter.
It is, unfortunately. The comment section made that abundantly clear to me.
Oh, that was another question. But it still doesn't matter.
It's the passion of what you're doing.

And I wouldn't get tripped up by that if I were you.

You actually brought something I was going to ask you,

which is one of your songs, Prom Dress,

which is a beautiful song about a prom dress

and a moment in a life when a woman finds herself wearing one,

went viral on TikTok, right?

And everybody's posting it with themselves in their prom dresses. Is that kind of fame fun to know that the entire world knows 40 seconds of one of your songs? It's the best ever.
I mean, for me, it feels like a bit of like a Mariah Carey moment every single year. I'll never write a song that is as catchy as all I want for Christmas, but I did write a song for any sad teenager who is having a tough time in their prom season.
And for that, I'm very grateful about the evergreen nature of that music. I was about to say, I don't know if it was intentional, but it was smart because just as we will always have Christmas, we will always have sad teenagers at prom season.
And honestly, that feels a little bit more permanent than Christmas in some ways, I'd say. You know, you should write a song about reading the comments.
Ooh, I should. That's a good idea.
I'll do that after I collab with the guy who did the self-asectomy. There you are.
That's pretty good. Well, Maya, it is enormous fun to talk to you, and we have invited you here to play a game we're calling...
MXM Toon. Meet Toon M&M's.
By which we mean those charming animated mascots that help sell M&M candies. You know, that always make us feel a little weird when we get around to eating them.
We're going to ask you three questions about those cartoon candies. If you get two right, you win our prize for one of our listeners, the voice of their choice on their answering machine.
Choki, who is Maya playing for? Mallory Kelly of Peoria, Illinois. All right.
You ready to do this? I think so. Mallory, I'm going to try.
So my very best for you. All right.
So here's your first question. For M&M's 75th anniversary, they released a video showing 360-degree views inside the M&M mascots' homes, right? One feature of the orange M&M's house surprised some people.
What was it? A, six locks on the front door, B, a tanning bed, or C, a Robert Mapplethorpe print. First of all, I have not seen this advertisement.
I'm delighted to know that the M&Ms are homeowners. Congratulations to them.
I want to say tanning bed. They want to say tanning bed.
I feel like the lox thing is a little too ominous. Yeah.
Well, it might be ominous. It is true.
Apparently, Orange's little quirk is that he's paranoid about being eaten. I can't imagine why.
So his apartment has six locks and a monitor showing feeds from nine security cameras. Okay, so here's your next question.
You got two more. You can do it.
Before her redesign in 2022, the green M&M was a female with big eyelashes and go-go boots, relatively sexy for a candy. Why was she designed to be sexy? Was it A, because research showed that people get hungrier when they are feeling romantic, B, because of the widely held belief that green M&Ms were an aphrodisiac, or C, because of a planned but abandoned ad campaign featuring a passionate love affair between her and the jolly green giant.
Wow. Okay, you know, I've listened to this show for years, and I've always thought maybe I'd be good at this, and I think I'm just learning rapidly that this this is not my skill set and that's okay.
That's all right. The audience is trying to help you by...
They are helping me and I haven't been able to hear them a lot throughout the Zoom call but I'm going to be thankful when I answer. I believe that it's the second one.
It is in fact because apparently certain members of the audience, I'm not saying they're old enough personally, but they might have heard that back in the 70s, that was a widespread rumor that green M&Ms were an aphrodisiac. It was the thing.
It really was. All right.
That's good. You got one right with one to go.
If you get this, you win. Here's your last question.
M&Ms almost had a live mascot. They asked Kevin Bacon, the actor, to do a commercial where he would dance to the song Footloose from his famous movie in a yellow M&M costume, but he turned them down.
Why did he turn them down? Was it A, his agent told him, you're Kevin freaking Bacon, you don't play the yellow M&M, you play the blue M&M. B, because he was doing ads for Hormel Bacon and his deal banned him from representing any other food,

or C, because his wife, he said,

gets too creeped out by the concept of talking food.

You know, marital problems present themselves in all sorts of colors,

and sometimes in the format of people, you know,

revealing their deepest, darkest secrets,

like talking food being a real fear.

So you're picking C? I think so. And you're right.
Yeah. There you go.
His wife, Kira Cedric, said, quote, doesn't like it when food talks, and put her foot down about it. Chioki, how did Maya do in our quiz? It makes him tune, got two right, which means she has to come out to her parents as a winner on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
There we go. Well done.
This is going to be the best coming out I've ever had. That's great.
That's great. Mom, Dad, let's go for a ride.
Really? No, this time you'll enjoy it. MXM Tune's new album is Liminal Space.
It's delightful and moving and beautiful.

You can hear her play it on her upcoming world tour dates.

And more information are over, of course, at MXMTune.com.

MXMTune, Maya, thank you so much for joining us.

What a pleasure to talk to you.

Thanks for listening.

Thanks for playing.

And we'll see you around.

Take care. Thank you so much for having me.
Bye- listening. Thanks for playing.
And we'll see you around. Take care.
Thank you so much.

Bye-bye. Good luck.

In just a minute,

while you really should check in on all your penguin

friends, that's in our Listener Limerick Challenge.

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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz.

I'm Chioki Ianson.

We're playing this week with Faith S Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz.

I'm Chioki Ianson.

We're playing this week with Faith Saley, Paula Poundstone, and Hari Kondabolu.

And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

Thank you, Chioki.

Thank you so much. In just a minute, did you know every week in America, as many as three limericks

go unfinished?

You can help in our listener limerick challenge game.

If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT.

That's 1-888-924-8924.

Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news.

Hari, we're all familiar with the concept of safe words. Yes.
An article in the New York Post says safe words can also be useful. While doing what other activity? Bobbing for apples.
That's very specific. I'll give you a hint.
You might want to use these safe words when you're involved in risky activities like overseeing mass play dates or bath time or... Parenting.
Yes, parenting safe words. Here's the idea.
Say your toddler is having a tantrum. You've been dealing with her all day and you're about to snap and you need your partner to

take over.

Well, you just yell out Michael Barbaro or whatever your safe word might be.

And the trick here is that your kids are listening.

So your safe word can't be something like, I hate them or you were adopted.

My safe word right now is I just look at my husband and say perimenopause and leave the room. Really? Yep.
That means you got this now. That's not so much a safe word.
It's a threat and a reality. I was about to say that was more of a threat.
Yeah. Faith, there's a new option out there for couples who cannot decide between a big wedding and a small intimate wedding.
Some couples are now having what? A Goldilocks wedding, a medium-sized wedding. No, that would be the old way of doing it, to compromise.
This is not the new way. Oh, are they having both? Yes, they're having his and hers weddings, Faith.
An invitee took to a wedding page on Reddit to tell this story. The bride wanted a small wedding, intimate friends, family.
The groom wanted a huge wedding with everybody. So they decided, let's have his and hers weddings.
It was that or the other really fun option. Realize they're two fundamentally different people.
And call it off. So each wedding for this particular couple had its own venue, its own wedding planner, and yes, two separate registries.
Right? Wow. Oh my gosh.
How much money do these people have? They have a ton of money. Clearly too much.
And do they both go to each of them? Yes. I think if you, I mean, all right, deciding you're going to have two weddings because you can't agree on what kind of wedding you want to have is one thing.
Not inviting the person you're marrying to your wedding, I think, is definitely a sign.

I think you just have, like, a stand-in.

You know, Bob would be here, but he doesn't enjoy a big wedding.

Why not just do it like the circus and have, like, a big tent and then a little tent?

And then you can go to whichever wedding you want to go to.

So you have, like, a main attraction and a sideshow wedding?

Well, I wouldn't call it a sideshow. It's a more intimate wedding.
You can have a freak show too. That's for the honeymoon.
That's for the honeymoon. All right.
And now it's a game we're going to call... No Complaining January.
So in honor of no complaining January,

Chioki is going to read each of you a real headline we found in this week's news. You have to say something positive about it.
That's the challenge. A real headline.
You say something positive about these alarming headlines, you get a point. All right.
We're going to start with Faith. Here we go.
This headline's for you. Say something positive after you hear it.
Your first headline is about something weird that happened with a fresh fish entree.

Restaurant customers left screaming after meat crawls off dinner plate.

Something positive, Faith.

After meat?

Crawls off dinner plate.

It turned that person vegan, and that's better for the environment.

Keoki, what do you think?

We got it. One point.
One point. Okay.

All right, Paula, this one is

for you. Chiyoki, please read the headline.

Woman intentionally pooped

on store's floor

in shoplifting scheme.

Don't have to clean the restroom.

And a point for Paula.

Very good.

All right, Harry.

All right, let's do it.

Rocket explodes on man's penis at family fireworks display.

No more need for a safe word.

Or a self-vasectomy.

Or a self-vasectomy. And that's a point for a hurry.
Very well done, you guys. I feel really good.
Good job. Good job looking on the bright side.
There you are. Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme.
If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924.
You can catch us most weeks right here at the Studebaker Theater in beautiful downtown Chicago, or come see us on the road. For example, we'll be at the Walt Disney Theater in Orlando, Florida on March 20th.
For tickets and information to all our live shows, go to nprpresents.org. Hi, everyone.
Wait, wait, don't tell me. Hi, this is Kate Howard from Austin, Texas.
Austin, one of our very favorite places. What do you do there? I'm a singer-songwriter.
Of course you are. I love it.
It's the law. It's the law.
You have to do it. You're not allowed into town unless you're carrying a guitar and your heart on your sleeve.
Yes. That's cool.
Well, Kate, welcome to the show. Chiokia Janssen is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each.
If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly, and two of the limericks will be a winner. You ready to go? Yes, I am.
Here's your first limerick. In midwinter, I'm thrown for a loop.
Both my health and my energy droop. So I eat granny's candy.
It's soothing and dandy. It tastes like some warm chicken.
Soup. Soup.
Yes. This week, Progresso, the soup company, introduced soup flavored hard candies called soup drops.
No, thank you. Which they describe as, quote, soup you can suck on.
It's big news in my household because my kid has

such a soup tooth. Which they describe as, quote, soup you can suck on.

It's big news in my household because my kid has such a soup tooth.

It was Campbell's?

It's Progresso.

Yeah, that's a Progresso move.

It really is.

Campbell's has the market.

Progresso's trying.

You don't see Amy's pulling that.

No, it's true.

Here's your next limerick.

Married penguins have buyer's remorse. Lack of babies is often the source.
When their passions have dulled, they can't get things annulled. So the penguins will file for...
Divorce. Yes, indeed.
Penguins are supposed to be monogamous for life. So everyone is alarmed by a new study showing that a certain population of penguins have a divorce rate between 25 and 50 percent.
I guess a certain flightless bird can stop being so smug at the PTA meetings. According to the study, if a reproduction does not go well for a couple of penguins for about a year, penguins will just split up, right? They'll just go their separate ways.
I wonder what those fights are like. The male says, sorry, baby, I just need to spread my wings.
And the female's like, and do what with them? There are scientists who do studies.

That means they were watching these penguins like it was Love Island, right? Exactly, yes. Quite

literally Love Island. And then somehow they had to tell the difference between the different

penguins. Like they knew the differences between them.
Yeah. And then were able to say that one's

Thank you. with the same partners or not.
Yes. This is some sick stuff.
Here is your last limerick. My trophy case leaves me nonplussed.
My achievements are turning to dust. Last summer's bright gold is all tarnished and old because my medals are starting to...
Rust? Rust, yes. 100 medal winners from the Olympics in Paris last summer have complained to the International Olympic Committee that their medals are falling apart.
They're flaking away. And these champions shouldn't have the rust medal.
That's what you get if you're fourth place. So these medals from Paris, and they've been posting photographs, have visible signs of obvious crumbling and staining and wear.
You may remember when they made these medals, the company that made them announced that they have included in them iron from the Eiffel Tower built into them. So don't worry, everybody.
It's not the Olympic medals that are falling apart. It's just the Eiffel Tower.
That's terrible. It is.
And that's for the bronze, silver, and gold? Bronze, silver, and gold, although the phenomenon seems to be centered on the bronze medals. Huh.
Oh, well, yeah, okay. Yeah, what do you expect? You came in third.
You wanted something of quality? I can attest to that. My bronze medal is gone.
It's rusted away. So athletes are actually sending the medals back to the committee saying, hey, can I get a new medal that won't fall away? It's obviously the Olympians' fault.
It says right in the back of the medal, not dishwasher safe. Choki, how did Kate do in our quiz? Let us sing Kate's praises.
She got all three right. Congratulations, Kate.
Well done. Thank you so much.
We'll come down and hope to see you on 6th Street next time we're in Austin. Take care.
Okay, bye.-cells to attack cancer, and eliminating cybersecurity threats with AI. As one of America's leading research tasks? Amazon Business empowers leaders to not only streamline purchasing, but better support their teams.
Smart business buying tools enable buyers to find and purchase items fast so they can focus on strategy and growth. It's time to free up your teams and focus on your future.
Learn more about the technology, insights, and support available at amazonbusiness.com. Now onto our final game,, Lightning Fill-in-the-Blank.
Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now with two points.
Joki, can you give us the scores? All right. Paula has four.
Faith and Hurry each have three. All right, Paula, you are doing particularly well.
So we are going to arbitrarily pick Hurry to go first. The clock will start when I begin your first question.
Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, thousands of people in Southern California were evacuated after a new blank started in the area.
Fire. Right.
After the ceasefire took effect, over 2,000 aid trucks were able to enter blank. Gaza.
Right. On Thursday, a federal judge blocked President Trump's order to end birthright blank.
Citizenship. Right.
According to the 2035 the federal blank will jump to 2.7 trillion dollars uh debt uh yeah deficit this week for the first time in the history of the nhl the outcome of a game was influenced by blank who cares it's hockey well no some people care very deeply it was a tray of nachos a fan threw into the ice. It distracted the goalie.
This weekend, NASA told Skywatchers that six blanks will be visible from Earth at once. Planets.
Right. This week, an 84-year-old man in the UK successfully fended off a mugger by repeatedly blanking.
Crying. No, by repeatedly hitting him with a pair of jeans.
The would-be mugger attacked the 84-year-old at a laundromat, so he grabbed the closest thing he had, a pair of jeans, and repeatedly swatted the guy with them. The man was at a huge advantage because he had both a 65-inch reach and a 36-inch inseam.
Chokey, how did Hurry do in our quiz? Hurry got five right for 10 more points. That's a total of 13.
Harry's in the lead. Well done.
All right. Faith, you are up next.
Please fill in the blank. On Wednesday, the Trump administration said they were sending 1,500 troops to the blank.
Southern border. Right.
After announcing a record of jumping subscribers, streaming giant blank said it would be raising prices. Netflix.
Right. For the first time in a decade, the Ohio State Buckeyes beat Notre Dame to win the blank championship.

College football championship.

Right.

On Tuesday, three top tech firms

announced a $500 billion investment

focused on the development of blank.

Cryptocurrency?

No, AI.

Following the success of spinoff shows

like FBI Most Wanted and FBI International,

CBS unveiled the newest show

in their FBI franchise, blank.. FBI hyperlocal.
FBI CIA. Oh.
On Wednesday, Nepal announced they were increasing the fee to climb Blank to $15,000. Mount Everest.
Right. On Thursday, Emilia Perez and Wicked led the nominations for the 2025 Blank Awards.
Oscars. Yes.
This week, a medical journal found a new side effect of the trendy carnivore diet,

which involves eating massive amounts of meat, cheese, and butter.

It may make your hands blank.

Hairy.

No, it may make your hands leak cholesterol.

Oh, Jesus.

According to the study, after eight months on this carnivorous diet,

a man in Florida had such high levels of cholesterol

that it literally started leaking out from his hands. Now, I know what you're wondering, was it the good cholesterol or the bad cholesterol? It's actually kind of interesting.
It was the gross cholesterol. That is gross.
Jokey, how did Faith do in our quiz? All right. Faith got five right for 10 more points.
That's the total of 13. Oh, snap.
They're tied. All right.
So then how many does Paula need to pull away and win it all? Five. Five.
Here we go, Paula. This is for the game.
Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, the White House announced plans to impose steep blanks on goods from China, Mexico, and Canada.
Tariff. Right.
According to officials in Georgia, blank flu was found in commercial poultry flock. Bird flu.
Right. This week, Thailand formally legalized same-sex blanks.
Marriage. Right.
On Tuesday, YouTube star Mr. Beast announced he was considering buying social media app blank.
TikTok. Right.
This week, an Ohio man who crashed into a fire hydrant asked police to give him a break because blank. He was hot.
No, he asked police to give him a break because he'd been drinking. On Thursday, scientists warned that coral bleaching in the blank reef had reached catastrophic levels.
In the coral reef. Which one? Is there more than one? There is.
The big one over on the left. It's on the Great Barrier Reef in Australia.
That's what I meant. On Monday, new data showed that the Earth's magnetic blank was shifting.
Magnetic pull. Right.
This week, a woman in Indonesia had to call the fire department to free her after her blank got caught in an office chair. After her blank got caught in her office chair.
Yes. I don't know, her hair.
No, her nose ring. Oh, jeez.
In a story that is definitely not, we think, about a woman sniffing furniture, the office worker had to call for help after her nose ring got tangled in the mesh of her office chair. According to the fire chief, quote, the incident wasn't the strangest call we've ever had, which really makes you wonder what other piercings have gotten stuck to chairs.
Yeah, that's just, yeah, you shouldn't see that's telling you no about that. Yeah.
Chioki. Chioki, did Paula do well enough to win? Well, she got five right for ten more points.
So, with a total of 14 points, Paula Poundstone is this week's champion. Congratulations! Yay! Thank you.
Thank you very much.

In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict,

after we finish No Complaining January,

what will be the first complaint heard on February 1st.

But first, let me tell you that

Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago

in association with Urgent Haircut Productions.

Doug Berman, benevolent overlord.

Philip Kotika writes our limericks.

Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shana Donald.
Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theatre, BJ Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King.
Special thanks to Biddy and Bizuna and Monica Hickey. Peter Gwynn is our COOL.
Emma Choi is our vibe curator. Technical direction is some Lorna White.
Our CFO is Colin Miller, our Production Manager, and that's Robert Newhouse. Special thanks this week to Gary Yeck.
Our Senior Producer is Ian Chillock, the Executive Producer of Wait Wait Don't Tell Me is Mike Danforth. And now, panel, what will people be complaining about as soon as they are allowed to on February 1st? Hari Kondabolu.
January has too many days. Faith Saley.

That the newly declassified JFK, RFK, and MLK files are TLDR and boring.

And Paula Poundstone.

These office chairs are so grabby.

And if any of that happens, panel, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Thank you, J.L.K. Hanson, doing another fabulous job, filling in for our friend Bill Curtis.

Thanks also to Hari Kandabulu, Faith Talley, and Paula Boundstone.

Thanks to all of you here at the Studio Baker Theater, our home.

And for the moment yours, thanks to all of you who are listening wherever you might be.

I'm Peter Sagal. We'll see you next week.

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