WWDTM: Rose Matafeo

January 18, 2025 47m

This week, Rose Matafeo joins panelists Maz Jobrani, Alzo Slade, and Helen Hong

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Ready to bring your visions to life? Learn how at AmazonBusiness.com. from npr and wbez chicago this is wait wait don't tell me the npr news quiz

filling in for Bill Curtis, I'm the voice silkier than Peter Sagal's nightgown. And here is your host at the Studebaker Theater in the Fine Arts Building in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.
Thank you, Chiyoki. Thank you, everybody.
Thank you, everybody. So Bill Curtis is off on assignment for a few weeks, and we cannot tell you where he is, but if you notice one of the masked singers has a lot of gravitas, you'll know why.
Meanwhile, we are delighted we've got Chioki Ianssen back to keep on keeping score. Later on, we've got comedian Rose Mattafeo joining us, but right now it's your turn.

Give us a call.

The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT.

That's 1-888-924-8924.

Let's welcome our first listener contestant this week.

Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Hi, my name is Michelle Kanya from Knoxville, Tennessee.

How are things in Knoxville these days?

Colder than we like it. Full of snow.
Oh, too bad, he said from Chicago. I'm so sorry.
What do you do there? I'm an online athletic trainer and I work as a teaching assistant in a blended pre-K classroom. Well, that's really cool.
Well, Michelle, welcome to the show. Let me introduce you to our panel this week.
First up, it's the comedian you can see at the Miami Improv from January 24th through the 26th. For all dates, go over to mazjobrani.com.
That's right. It's Maz Jobrani.
Hi. How are you, Michelle? Thank you.
Next up, she's a comedian who will be at the Walton Arts Center in Fayetteville, Arkansas, on January 30th, and who hosts the trivia podcast, Go Fact Yourself. It's now on LAist in Southern California.
It's Helen Hong. Hi.
Hi, Michelle. Hi, everybody.
Hi, Helen. And he's an Emmy and Peabody Award-winning journalist and comedian and host of the new Nat Geo show, What X Does to Your Body.
It's Alzo Slade. What's up, Michelle? How you doing? Doing good.
How are you? So far, feel good. So, Michelle, welcome to the show.
You're going to play Who's Chayuki? This time, Chayuki Ianson, filling in for Bill Curtis, is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you will win our big prize.
Any voice from our show you might like for your voicemail, are you ready to go? I hope so. Okay.
Your first quote is from Victor Willis, who is the lead singer of the group The Village People. Our song YMCA is a global anthem that hopefully helps bring the country together.
The Village People will undoubtedly bring the country together next week with their performance at what event on Monday? The inauguration. Yes, the inauguration of our next president.
The Village People will be one of many entertainers who've been lucky enough to be chosen to play at Monday's inauguration, performing a very favorite song of President-elect. By the way, Mr.
Wallace also insists that the song YMCA is not in fact a gay anthem. Also, he says their hit in the Navy is about military readiness.
And Macho Man is just about a guy who likes nachos, but there was a typo. Do the gays know that the village people are not a gay iconic group? I don't think so.
I don't think so either. I'm sorry if you are gay and listening.
I'm sorry. We should have warned you.
As you know, this has been a big song. President Trump loves it.
He loves to play it at his rallies. He loves YMCA.
He loves the song. That's so random.
They sued him the first time around. Did they really? Yeah, I think the village people, he was playing it, and they sent a cease and desist letter.
But I guess the check... They ran out of money.
Yeah, the check is talking. Yeah.
They also said that this is the last living member. Yes, Mr.
Willis, who is the lead singer... What? ...is the last of living members.
The rest, of course. So it's just why? Yeah, pretty much.
Why of YMCH? It's the why are you doing this? Yeah, I was about to say, it actually makes sense, Helen, that on Monday, that the big song would just be, why? Why? And we all remember, the big story last time, the first time he was inaugurated, was Trump

insisting, falsely, that he had the biggest crowd in inauguration history.

So you know his people are trying to make it true this time.

So be wary if anybody in the D.C. area gets an invite promising a free vacation in exchange

for watching a short presentation.

I tell you what a lot of the

a lot of the folks

that you know

I don't know

I don't know I don't know I don't know they're not going to stay long because I don't think they understand how cold it is during inauguration. Yeah.
That's the coldest I've ever been when I went to Obama's inauguration, ever. And if I could do it all over again, I would not.
Really?

Wasn't worth it. No.
Do you have any advice for

the people who will be, and it's supposed to be very

cold in Washington on Monday. Do you have any advice

for the people who might be attending this hour? Do the YMCA

dance and that'll warm you up.

Exactly. Don't go.
Stay your ass home.

Yeah.

Alright, here is your next quote.

It's from the CEO of a big national chain.

When you lock things up, you don't sell as many of them.

So what a revelation.

What chain might soon stop putting some of the most common items behind lock and key?

Target?

No, not Target.

It's a chain of drugstores.

CVS.

I'll give it to you.

It's the other one.

It's Walgreens. You had 50% of them, right? They're of drug stores.
CVS. Oh, I'll give it to you.
It's the other one. It's Walgreens.

You had 50% of that.

They're all the same.

Keep going.

Great news for our listeners with herpes.

Walgreens may soon be doing away with their locked cabinets.

In recent years, Walgreens and other stores,

they've been locking up everything from toiletries to snacks to prevent shoplifting,

and we assume, you know, to allow the possibility for meet-cutes between employees and desperate customers looking for Tide Pods. But Walgreens' CEO admitted, finally, this week on an earnings call, that locking up merchandise, brace yourself, leads to fewer sales.
Who would have thought that having it announced over the PA in the store that you need the laxative case unlocked would be a deterrent to purchasing it? Nothing deflates buying a razor than standing in front of the razor case and just hearing customer service to razors customer service to raise and then just i'd be like you know what i can be hairy for another week i get surprised sometimes at the items that are locked up absolutely i'm like why is deodorant locked up if somebody gets the deodorant that means they're going to smell better they should steal it we should be helping that we be giving it away. Let's smell better than this town.
You know, forever, like I'd go to the barbershop and dudes would be coming in selling soap and lotion and socks, and I never understood where they got it from. Now I know.
Did they suddenly stop when they were in the car? Yes, they have stopped. I see.
And, of course, the problem is they come and they unlock the case.

That's nice.

Thank you.

And they don't leave.

And it is so nerve-wracking trying to decide which toothpaste you might want with the employee just standing there.

That's why I've been brushing my teeth for the past month with wood glue.

Well, you know, as soon as they start unlocking, you're going to see me at barbershops again. All right.
Here is your last quote. I've seen a quarterback eating a hot dog, but I've never seen anyone do that.
That was Fox Sports announcer Tom Brady after cameras caught Eagles wide receiver A.J. Brown doing what on the sidelines during a game? Reading a book.
Yes, that's right. He was reading a book.
The self-help book, Inner Excellence, is suddenly the number one seller on Amazon after Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver A.J. Brown was seen reading it on the sideline between plays.
Coaches knew something was up when Brown said, after he put the book down, that instead of being a wide receiver, now he wanted to be a wide giver. And this is actually an interesting story.
So this book, Inner Excellence, a self-help book, was published, was self-published by the author in 2020. And it is now instantly the number one bestselling book on Amazon.
So, you know, this inner improvement

thing, it works. The author's methods for success, in case you want to follow along, are in essence,

give the best of what you have that day, be present, and get an NFL player to read your book

on live national TV. I haven't seen anybody read a book in a long time.
Anywhere. Anywhere.
Yeah. Much less on the sideline of a game.
I feel like y'all need new friends. Everyone's on their phones.
If he were like scrolling on his phone, I'd be like, all right, yeah, yeah. But he brought out a book.
I'm thinking if I'm on A.J. Brown's team and he's supposed to be giving like, you know, the up, and he's reading a book before the speech, and then he comes in the circle and he says, guys, we have the power within ourselves to go out onto the field and defeat the opponent.
Guys, the playbook was inside us the whole time. Chokey, how did Michelle do in our quiz? Well, Peter, you might want to questions about this week's news.

Alzo, a high-ranking Polish general has been fired after a shipment of anti-take mines

he was in charge of were found where?

In his kitchen.

No.

Not his kitchen, but at a place that has a lot of model kitchens for you to shop. At an Ikea? At an Ikea.
No. What? That's awesome.
So this general who's in charge of logistics for the Polish army had this shipment of munitions on a train. And the soldiers who were unloading the train missed one car, which kept going in the train until it arrived at an Ikea warehouse where the employees were like, okay, and they unloaded it.
And they were probably like, okay, anti-take mines, I guess they go in the outdoor furniture department. And it turns out it was a good thing.
They sold a lot of them under the name Boom Landing. Can you imagine? You know, Ikea has the arrows so you can walk through the whole store, and then you get to this part and you say, look how many anti-tank mines you can fit in a 250-square-foot apartment.
Oh, yeah. Coming up, our panelists fall madly in love in our Bluff the Listener game.

Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play.

We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.

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From NPR and WBZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Chioki Ianson, filling in for Bill Curtis.
We're playing this week with Helen Hong, Maz Jobrani, and Alzo Slade. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.
Thank you, Chioki. Thank you, everybody.
Nice.

Thank you, everybody. Right now,

it is time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff the Listener Game. Call 1-888-Wait-Wait

to play our game in the air, or you can check

out the pinned post on our Instagram

page, at Wait, Wait NPR.

Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Hi, Peter. Hi, panel.
This

is Olivia from Washington, D.C.

Hey, Olivia. That's great.

What do you do there in Washington?

I work in

Thank you. Hi, Peter.
Hi, panel. This is Olivia from Washington, D.C.
Hey, Olivia. That's great.
What do you do there in Washington? I work in abortion rights, which is always an exciting time. But when I'm not doing that, I am just kicking it with my cat and playing curling.
I'm sorry, you said playing curling? I do play curling. Shout out to the Potomac Curling Club in Laurel, Maryland.
Well, that's great that you're a curler. You must be so excited for the impending invasion of Canada then.
Well, welcome to the show, Olivia. You're going to play our game in which humans try to tell truth from fiction.
Choki, what is Olivia's topic? Have I told you lately that I love you? Valentine's Day is only a few weeks away, and we're already seeing proof that true love still exists. In fact, we saw an amazing story about an unusual expression of love in the news this week, and our panelists are each going to tell you about it.
Of course, only one of them is telling you about the real story. Pick that.
Panelists, you will win the wait-waiter of your choice in your voicemail. Are you ready to play? So ready.
First up, let's hear from Helen Hall. Researchers in England have discovered a new language invented by a couple to celebrate their love and to trash-talk others in public.
Lisa and Jim Newman have been together for 14 years and in that time have created an entirely new language that only they understand. Early on, I tried to tell her what I loved about her in Klingon, which we both speak fluently.
But there was no word for the light that glints off your hair when it's slightly greasy after a day and a half of not showering. So we made one up.
Linguists, in fact, cannot believe the complexity of the invented language, which also has an individual word for a whiff of your musty beard makes me feel like Uhura flirting with Spock in the Man Trap episode of the original series. Their language, in fact, is so complex and realistic that they were cast as aliens in the latest Star Trek show, Strange New Worlds, only to later reveal that what they were talking about on camera was how lame that show is compared to Deep Space Nine.
A couple so deeply in love that they have invented their own language, completely inscrutable to anybody else. Your next true or false story of true love comes from Maz Jobrani.
You've heard the phrase, don't get too attached. Well, a couple just did the opposite when they got magnets implanted under their skin so when they hold hands, the magnets actually pull their skin together and they stick.
I know, yuck. Sadie Rindu and her fiancé, Hannah Hansman, both in their 20s, wanted to get, quote, closer and express their love.
And voila, every time they hold hands, the magnets go click. What the hell is wrong with 20-year-olds? How much closer can hands get when they hold each other? Did they consider just intertwining their fingers like the rest of us? Rendu stated, the magnets aren't painful to use or to the touch.
If anything, you could forget it's there. Really? How about when you go to open the fridge and the outside of your hand gets stuck on the metal door? Or how about when you try to give someone a quarter, but it won't disconnect from your hand? A couple so much in love that they installed magnets, so when they hold hands, they are really holding hands.
Your last walk down Lover's Lane is from Alzo Slade. As people become more self-conscious about their role in global warming, having a sustainable household has become increasingly attractive.
One couple in Tallahassee, Florida didn't think their love could run any deeper until they made the commitment to sustainability. Ruby and David Summers said it started when David mistook Ruby's toothbrush for his.
He felt like he could feel her spirit when he was brushing. They decided to just have one toothbrush.
They said, since we swap saliva when we kiss, it's basically the same thing, right? They now share and recycle many items between them that most of us would find strange. Ruby loves when David leaves his used dental floss on the bathroom counter.
When she uses it, they not only are being sustainable,

but she feels as if they're sharing a meal when she finds a piece of spinach or corn. They also enjoy sharing each other's bath water.
There's nothing that says love like sitting in the tub of your partner's floating dirt. No.
So one of these is a real story of the deepest, deepest kind of love that we saw in the news. Was it from Helen Hong, a couple who have invented their own extraordinarily complex language, from Maz Dobrani, a couple who actually had magnets installed subcutaneously, so when they held hands, they were truly bonded, or from Alzo Slade, a couple that decided to take sustainability as far as it could go.
You know, I think Maz's story of magnet implants is going to become the hot romance trope of 2025. You really? All right, that's your choice.
It's Maz Jobrani's story of the couple that installed magnets in their hands. To bring you the real story, we actually spoke to a reporter who covered it.
They say they can't even feel the magnets, but it's become a fun party trick. That was Rania Shimona from Fox 2 Detroit reporting on that real couple.
Congratulations, Olivia. You got it right.
You have earned a point for Maz just for telling the truth, and you've won our prize. The voice of your choice and your voicemail.
Thank you so much. Take care.
Oh, but it only gets better If we stick together Oh We can make it better If we sing together And now the game we call Not My Job. Rose Mattafeo got her start doing stand-up comedy in New Zealand as a 15-year-old.
Since then, she's gone on to win

Best Show at the Edinburgh Festival, write and star in her own comedy series, Starstruck, and she

has a new comedy special on Max. But most importantly, she, like so many other ambitious

people, has found her way to the pinnacle of entertainment jobs, game show host. Rose

Madafeo, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hello, thank you for having me.
So you are

I'm 15. So it was kind of child labor vibes.
I was thrown into the comedy minds to start stand-up as a teenager. Yeah, I started quite young.
There's not many people in New Zealand, so I think I just, you know, they eventually give you an award if you can't have it long enough. Right.
Is it true, by the way, that like you, like everybody in New Zealand knows each other because it's so relatively small?

Like we read, for example, that the prime minister of New Zealand, either before or after she was prime minister, used to like open up your shows for you. Yeah, well, she did.
Jacinda Ardern, she was the Minister of Arts and Culture, so it did make sense that she kind of knew some of us and she did do a sort of monologue that we did improv comedy based on. So I know it's horrible to make generalizations, and New Zealand is a large place.
It's a metropolitan capital of the world, all of that, but it is true that lots of us do know each other, yeah. I met her a few times.
It's really cool. I mean, when your prime minister is doing, yeah, monologues for you and at like a hundred seater, you're like, yeah, that country's quite small, isn't it? Yeah.
Donald Trump is the opening act of this show. Absolutely.
He's got a killer five men. He's coming after you.
I mean, I assume that you went to the UK eventually.

You relocated there because everybody in New Zealand had already seen you.

So there was nobody left to come see your show.

You think that's a joke.

That's kind of true.

My nan would come to my shows all the time to the extent where she would start coming back to shows with heckles for jokes that she had heard before.

That's harsh.

Was your grandmother just as funny as you? No, she's really not funny at all. She won't be listening to this, so that's good.
No, she's very funny. I think, but you know, in that way, they don't really know that they're funny.
What's very sweet is my grandmother is so lovely and sweet that the heckle that she came up with for one of the jokes was, I think I was mocking her for the way she pronounces. For some reason, a certain generation pronounces muesli as muesli.
And I was, you know, really ripping into her for that because, you know, my comedy is cutting edge. You started it.
And then she's the kindest person that her heckle was well next time I'll make you something else Absolutely taking me down was just offering me another breakfast option You have a new special it's on max. I've watched it.
It's called on and on and on I I have a question for you that comes from a very American perspective. It seems that in this comedy special, which is very funny and charming and original and different and surprising, that you taped in, you are from New Zealand, you taped it in London in front of a British audience, but you seem to be wearing a University of Minnesota shirt.
Don't get me started on this. I've never had.
Not many people are like, you know, hey, great to watch the special, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah. You usually get those kind of comments.
I have never got a public reaction as big as the fact that I have accidentally worn a University of Minnesota shirt that I found in the middle of Malmö in Sweden in a secondhand shop. And I was like, that's a cool yellow t-shirt with my last name initial on it.
I'm going to wear that. I won't be living that down for a while.
Go Gophers, I guess. Golden Gophers.
They're called the Golden Gophers. Go Golden Gophersers You best believe I was straight to the Wikipedia page to see if there had been any massive controversies at the University Massive controversies you've never been to Minnesota Maybe I could get like a like an honorary doctorate or whatever people get I've never been offered one of those really so maybe the University of Minnesota can step up And offer yeah one of those little hats or something I just want to wear those little hat that little hat that people tend to wear.
I don't know right So I want to talk to you about something close to my heart You are hosting a game show now the greatest job could ever have. Taskmaster Junior, which is based on a show, Taskmaster, which has a bunch of comedians doing silly tasks for points, except in your version, instead of comedians, it's kids, right? I was asked, alongside Mike Wozniak, to be the Taskmaster, who's the person who gives out the points and sort of judges.
Yeah. Five children, gives out points.
That's a hard job. I had to really yes How to do that You're ranking little oh look I work.
Oh, yeah Yeah, so so so you're very the conceit of the show is the taskmaster That's you are very imperious figure sitting in a big chair You don't smile much you are like rating these children. You have sent these children out to do these difficult tasks of discovering this or figuring out that or competing in this.
And then you have to judge them. Oh, and you know what? I'll say, when I did the pilot for the show, I was like, how am I going to do this? They're just gorgeous.
Children of the future. You know, I want to kill their spirits young.
And after about two episodes of it, I was like, this is easy. This is so easy.
I don't care anymore. Those children are lovely and they're cute, but they fight back.
Well, Rose Matafeo, it's a real joy to talk to you. And we have asked you here to play a game that this time we're calling On and Off and On.
So your special, as we've discussed, is called On and On and On. So we thought we'd ask you about some of those famous couples that have gone on and off and on again.
Get two or three questions right about these tempestuous and flighty people. You'll win our prize for one of our listeners.
Chyoki, who is Rose playing for? Stephen Ward of Atlanta, Georgia. All right.
You get two out of three right here. You win.
Let's do it for Stephen. Let's do it for Stephen.
Here's your first question. The most famous on and off again relationship was, of course, Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton.
But Ms. Taylor wasn't just kind of indecisive with him.
She once broke off her engagement to another man just because of what? A, they were traveling in Asia and he would not let her buy an elephant to bring home.

B, he chewed with his mouth open one time.

Or C, his habit of saying, wee, right before they got in the bed together.

You know what is weird?

What?

I think I know the answer to this question. Yes.
Because I am am fascinated by her I think it is B. Here's the funny thing.
That's not right in this case In this case it was the elephant she said I'd like to bring this elephant And he said you can't that's a classic Liz move. It really is.
That's really gutting that I got that wrong. I feel bad I feel sick.
I feel scared and I feel, yeah. Here's your next question.
You have two more chances. The most notorious on-again, off-again couple of the 1980s was Ryan O'Neill and Farrah Fawcett.
Tell me about it. Now, their relationship even started in a kind of wild way as their first date happened when, A, after she saw him in a store buying that Farrah Fawcett poster and followed him home, B, after the Dodgers' 1981 World Series win, they had gone out and were looting a store together, or C, when Fawcett's husband, Lee Majors, was away filming and asked O'Neill to just be a pal and check in on her.
Oh, dirty dog. If that's true, I'm gonna go C C.
And you are right. That's what happened.
Classic story. Yes, Lee said to Ryan, could you go check in on Farrah? And Ryan checked in, and she was fine.
If you get this one right, Rose, you win. Okay.
And you will be happy with yourself for a fleeting moment. So here we go.
The American record holder for most marriages in a lifetime is a man named Glenn Wolfe, who was married 31 times. Yeah, buddy.
Oh, sorry. I was a fan.
Before he died at the age of 88. To whom was his very last, his 31st marriage? Was it to A, the very last woman left in his Iowa town that he had not yet married, B, the person who held the woman's record for most marriages in a lifetime, or C, wife number one, because as he said, I've tried all the rest.

She was the best.

Oh.

Ooh.

Snap, snap, snap.

All of these are spicy options.

They are.

No, I'm actually going to go with B

because I feel actually that Glyn Wolf is a PR hound.

He's probably doing it for the fame, and he's going, why not? Let's get in the Guinness Book of World Records. Let's get that photo and I'm going to die in style.
You are exactly right. Yeah.
Thank goodness. That is what he did.
He married the woman who had the record for the most number of marriages and they both did it for the publicity and to you know get in the Guinness book I don't know how long the marriage lasted. So This is where I turn to Chiochi and I say Chiochi.
How did Rose Medefeo doing our quiz? New Zealand's finest Conquered Edinburgh. She conquered Britain and now she's conquered in PR There you go.
Clip that out. Clip that out.
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely.

Rose Medefa. Britain, and now she's conquered in PR.
There you go. Clip that out.
Clip that out. Rose Madafeo is an actor and comedian whose new special On and On and On is charming and funny and surprising.
It is now streaming on Mac's. Rose Madafeo, thank you so much for being with us and staying up late.
Bye-bye. In just a minute, Chioki spends all his money at the arcade.
Stick around to see what he's won in our listener Limerick Challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air.
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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz.

I'm Chioki Iansin filling in for Bill Curtis.

We're playing this week with Maz Jobrani, Helen Hong, and Alzo Slade.

And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

Thank you, Chioki.

Thank you, everybody.

In just a minute, Chioki reveals that he is the heart and soul of a poet in our listener Limerick Challenge game. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT.
That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news.
Alzo, the tech millionaire, Brian Johnson, has become famous for his ambitious plan to live to 150 years old. But he's just learned that one particular drug he was taking to slow the aging process was actually doing what? I feel like any drug to enhance something, shrink something.
You went right there, didn't you? That's what you think. I mean,'m just I Was I was thinking shrinking the brain.
What were you thinking? Oh Absolutely, also yes the brain I don't know can you give me a hint? It's sort of let me put it this way. It wasn't helping it was Hurting right meaning it It's painful.
No. If he was taking it to slow the aging process, instead the drug did what? Oh, he's going to die soon.
Yeah, it sped up the aging process. Brian Johnson poured millions into various elaborate and advanced techniques to stop himself from physically aging, including getting blood transfusions from his teenage son, taking a vast array of experimental and off-label drugs, and pretending

he really likes skibbity toilet. But this week, Johnson admitted to his followers that one drug

he'd been taking to slow his aging was actually speeding it up. And as soon as he realized

something was wrong,

he was like, dag nabbit, my apothecary has hoodwinked me.

How did he notice that it was speeding it up?

That's a good question.

Probably he was watching the commercial and they say side effects may include spinning

up your death.

Yeah.

Shrinkage.

He just started watching like daytime television out of the blue. Right.
All of a sudden he found himself really interested in that Matlock reboot. Exactly.
Only watching CBS. Maz, this week Sony announced that soon the PlayStation console won't just have great graphics and sound.
Players will also experience what? Feelings. No, that will never happen.
No. Give me a hint.
I will give you a hint. It makes the rotting flesh of the zombies you're fighting that much more realistic.
Smell? Smell, yes. Yes, amazing.
So many discoveries to be made. For example, just as you always suspected, Lara Croft uses natural deodorant.
Sony says that the technology, when it is introduced, will, quote, engage scent to fully immerse you into the world of the story. I don't need that.
That is something that nobody asked for. Sony, nobody asked for this.
How does that work? Does a guy just show up with a spray? This may not be high tech. They might just put a piece of old cheese in the console and then seal it and send it to you.
It kind of works. Yeah.
Helen, Apple users are panicking this week after it was discovered that the newest iOS update may disable what iPhone function? Can't be cameras because that's too essential. Right.
I'll give you a hint. A lot of people are going to have a new excuse for being late to work.

Oh, the alarm?

The alarm function, yeah.

Users have been reporting the same glitch in the latest iOS version where their alarms

trigger hours after they've set them or sometimes not at all.

And nothing gets you a good night's sleep than thinking, well, there's a 50-50 chance

my alarm won't go off.

I mean, that's real. It's like your alarm doesn't go off.
That's the universe speaking. Yes, it is.
I have defaulted to using my iPhone alarm solely and not using any other alarm. You see what I mean? So if it didn't go off, I would not be here right now.
What other alarms are there? Do people still have clocks next to their bed? Like, you know, the old ones. Those were great.
Those were great. What I need from Apple is their guarantee that if I'm late for something, Tim Cook will personally write a note saying it's his fault.
I need him to write a million-dollar check. Or they can give everybody roosters.
That's the solution. That's the solution.

That's the solution.

That's a great solution.

Up at dawn.

You got an Apple phone, you get a rooster.

Helen has roosters.

So you're awake whether you want to be or not.

Well, that's between you and the rooster.

You got to train your rooster.

Your alarm could be for 10.30.

10.30.

And I heard if you tap the rooster on the head, you get 10 more minutes. Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank.
But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT.
That's 1-888-924-8924. You can catch us most weeks right here at the Studebaker Theater in downtown Chicago, Illinois.
You can also come see us on the road. We'll be in Richmond, Virginia, Chiochi's hometown.
Oh, yeah. On February 13th and in Orlando, Florida on March 20th.
For tickets and information for all our live shows, go to nprpresents.org. And you can also check out our sister podcast how to do everything this week mike and ian talk with saturday night lives james austin johnson about how his donald trump impression has changed over the years spoiler alert trump got sleepier hi everyone wait wait don't tell me hi this is lucy calling from pittsburgh pennsylvania we love pittsburgh one of the best places i know of do you do there? I'm a surgical tech in the operating room.
Wait a minute. A surgical tech in the operating room.
So what do you actually do in the operating room? So if you've ever seen any medical drama when the surgeon's up at the table and they ask for the scalpel, I'm the person that hands them the scalpel. Whoa.
That's so cool. Do you ever think to yourself when you go into work, like, today I'm going to mess with him.
And he's going to say scalpel, and you'll say, feather duster? Rubber chicken? I'll have to use those next time. Well, Lucy, welcome to the show.
Chio K. Jansen is going to read you three news-related limericks with a last word or phrase missing from each.
If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two into the limericks, you will be a winner. Here is your first limerick.
I've got hips that would make any doula whoop and a waistline so fine. You'll need a jeweler's loop.
So I'm great at a sport that needs no gyms or courts. See, my body is perfect for...
Hoops? Close enough. Well, hold on.
What kind of hoop? It rhymes with the common phrases doula whoop. Hula hoop? Hula hoop, yes.
Scientists have discovered the ideal body type for successful hula hooping using physics, geometry, and va-va-voometry, they've determined. A curvy waist and hips and a flexible badonkadonk are all you need.
These findings were published in the academic journal Maxim Magazine. I'm still stuck on doula whoop.
Doulla whoop. And which is, you know, when would a doula whoop, right? When the baby's born.
Yeah. Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop.
All right, here is your next limerick. In most arcade machines, there's this flaw.
A stuffed bear is the best you will draw. But here you might snag a sweet Hermes bag.
Grab some luxury treats with our... Claw? Claw, yes.
Arcades around the country are adding claw machines featuring luxury prizes in order to attract older players. Prizes include designer handbags like Hermes, high-end gaming consoles, and a sticky hand toy that doesn't get stuck to your ceiling.
One arcade owner in Queens charges $50 a try. What? And says that on average it takes about four to seven tries to finally get something out of it.
It's a great deal. By playing six times,

you can win a $150 Nintendo Switch for about $300.

I know

I've spent too much money

trying to get the

thing that pushes the coins off.

That never works.

That's a sucker's game.

All of them are sucker's games. Did you just call me a sucker?

Indirectly, I think I did, yes. But I was a sucker, though.
Yeah, I know. You went for that stuff.
But then, you know, if you can't win a bear with the claw, what makes you think you're going to win a Hermes bag? Faith. Yeah.
Faith in yourself. All right.
Here's your last limerick. In a field that they don't know so well, science winners go wild and go tell.
They see glowing raccoons and hear ghosts by full moon. Their brains rot once they win the...
Nobel? Right, the Nobel. This week, a science wrote about Nobel disease or Nobelitis.
It's an observed phenomenon where scientists who win a Nobel Prize suddenly become really dumb. It turns out you would be amazed by the number of Nobel Prize winning scientists who accept the award and then say in their speech, and my next area of research is ghosts.
Isn't that crazy? They do all of this studying and all this hard work to get to the Nobel Prize and become dumb. And us just regular folks, we don't even have to do all that.
We're just dumb from the beginning. We just beat them to it.
You know what I'm saying? It's great. We don't know why this happens to the extent that it does.
Maybe they make those Nobel medals out of lead. Jokey, how did Lucy do in our quiz? It's well known that the listener limerick challenge is the only thing more difficult than surgery.
And Lucy handled it. She got all three right.
Well done, Lucy. Thank you so much.
Thanks for playing. Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill inin-the-Blank.
Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points.
Joki, can you give us the scores? Alzo and Maz have three points. Helen's got two points.
Okay, so that means... The pressure.
The pressure. Helen, you're going to be up first because you're in second place.
Here we go. The clock will start when I begin your first question.
Fill in the blank. On Thursday, Benjamin Netanyahu delayed a vote to approve the ceasefire in blank.
Gaza. Right.
On Monday, two Russian cities were hit with a drone strike from blank. Ukraine.
Right. Following an encouraging report on inflation, the blank surged 703 points this week.
Dow Jones. Right.
On Monday, SpaceX launched two missions to the blank. The moon? Right.
After an Alabama district court judge deemed two opposing lawyers to be acting unprofessionally to one another, he filed an official order requiring them to blank. Mud wrestle.
Requiring them to have lunch together. Oh, that's less fun.
On Thursday, it was announced that podcaster and former late-night host blank would would receive the Mark Twain Prize for comedy. Oh, David Letterman? No, Conan O'Brien, best known for Blue Velvet, Mulholland Drive, and Twin Peaks legendary director Blank, passed away at the age of 78.
David Lynch. Right.
This week, a man in Australia who attempted to burn down a restaurant had to flee the scene because he blanked. Burned his clothes.
No, because he... Well, no, right.
You're right. I'm sorry.
What? He lit his own pants on fire. Yay! Well done.
Wow. There I am.
Totally guessed that one. Yeah.
Good one. The security footage shows the man dousing the restaurant in some flammable liquid, lighting a match, and then being quite shocked when the only thing that caught on fire were his was on pants.
So important note for arsonists, when you bring your gas to the crime scene, do not carry it in your pockets. Joki, how did Helen do in our quiz? Helen got six right for 12 more points.
She now has 14 points and the lead. All right.
Let's arbitrarily pick Alzo to go next. Fill in the blank.
Alzo, on Wednesday, Blank delivered his farewell address to the nation. Biden.
Right. Weeks after being impeached for declaring martial law in his country, the president of Blank was arrested on Monday.
Korea. Right.
Thanks to an incoming Arctic blast, the U.S. will face its blankest temperatures in over a year.
Warmest. Or coldest.
Right, yes. Arctic is the key.
Arctic would be the key. This week, officials in the UK said that residents should not be concerned about the loud bang and giant mushroom cloud of smoke emanating from the local blank.
Explosion. No, emanating from the local nuclear plant.
On Monday, Starbucks announced they were reversing a policy that let anyone use their blank without making a purchase. Bathroom.
Right. This week, a woman in Russia walking to her gate at the airport stepped onto a moving walkway and discovered blank.
It was not moving. No, that it was actually the baggage conveyor belt.
The woman was seen on close-circuit TV footage stepping under the conveyor belt and getting pulled through the small doorway into bag processing. Thankfully, she's fine and says the worst part was actually all the other people who lined up to get sucked into the baggage carousel, even though their group hadn't even been called yet.
Choki, how did Alzo do in our quiz? All right, Alzo got four right for eight more points, a total of 11, which means Helen is still in the lead. All right.
Why are y'all clapping? How many then does Maz Jobrani need to win, Chokey? Maz needs six points. All right.
You got this, Maz. Here we go, Maz.
This is for the game. On Tuesday, confirmation hearings for Blank's cabinet picks began.
Trump's. Right.
On Wednesday, Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass warned that the city was not safe from the danger posed by Blank's. Fires.
Right. This week, the royal family reported that blank was in remission from cancer.
Kate Middleton. Right.
On Tuesday, the house passed a GOP-led bill banning some blank athletes from participating in their chosen sports. Transgender? Right.
After charming fans by riding a lime bike to a movie premiere this week, Timothy Chalamet blanked. Fell off the bike.
No, he was fined $79 for not docking the bike properly. Hilarious.
On Tuesday, social media app Red Note jumped to the top of Apple's charts thanks to the potential ban of blank. TikTok.
Right. According to a new report, one in 20 people who caught blank may suffer long-term effects.
COVID. Right.
After multiple warnings from the city, a woman in Memphis has a court appearance because she refuses to remove blank from her yard. From Memphis, she refuses to move blank from her yard.
That would be barbecue. No, the giant 12 foot skeleton.
What? The woman who had planned to leave the skeleton up and then, you know, she put it up for Halloween and she planned to leave it up all year and decorate it based on whatever holiday was closest, but the city is demanding she take it down, which is a real shame, because nothing says Happy Valentine's Day than a 12-foot skeleton. Jokey, did Maz do well enough to win? Oh, snap.
Maz got six right for 12 more points. So with a total of 15, your champion is Maz Jobrani.
Yes. Congratulations.
Yes. Wow.
I feel like I want to be a hater, but champion is too strong of a word. Let me have this.
Come on. I'll also let me have this.
Come on. In just a minute, our panelists will predict what unusual thing will an NFL player next be spotted doing on the sidelines.
But first, let me tell you that Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord. Philip Godica writes our limericks.
Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shana Donald.
Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theater. BJ Lederman composed our theme.
Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Grumboss, and Lillian King. Special thanks this week to Biniam Bezuma and Monica Hickey.
And a special welcome this week to our new jolly good fellow, Hannah Anderson. Welcome to hell, Hannah.
Peter Gwynn can do five sets of 47 push-ups every morning. Emma Choi is our vibe curator.
Technical director is from Lorna White. Her CFO is Colin Miller.
Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chillog.
The executive producer of Wait Wait Don't Tell Me is Michael Danforth. Now, panel, what's the next surprising thing we'll see on an NFL sideline? Helen Hong.
Players birding. Maz Jobrani.
Players testing out mattresses. And Alzo Slade.
They're going to be playing Wordle on those little tablets that they're supposed to be