WWDTM: Live at Tanglewood with Paul Giamatti!

This message comes from NPR sponsor Capella University.

Interested in a quality online education, Capella is accredited by the Higher Learning Commission.

A different future is closer than you think with Capella University.

Learn more at capella.edu

from NPR and WBEC Chicago.

This is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me the NPR News quiz.

Spread my smooth, buttery voice on that big est.

I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Kuzavitsky Music Shed.

It's Tanglewood, the summer home of the Boston Symphony.

It is, Peter Sagal.

Thank you, Bill.

And thank you, Tanglewood.

It's so great to be back with you.

We have a lot of people here inside the music shed and then many of them out on the lawn.

And if those people didn't bring any wine, there's a chance that actor Paul Giamatti, star of the movie Sideways, among many others, might bring some along with him when he joins us later.

But first, it's your turn to play our games.

Give us a call.

The number is 188-WAITWAIT.

That's 1-888-9248-924.

Hi, you were on WaitWait, don't tell me.

Hi, my name is Merrigan, and I'm from Quincy, Massachusetts.

Quincy, Massachusetts?

I know Quincy.

Really?

I do, actually.

What do you do there?

So I work at Suffolk University in Boston, and I work for a research department that does political polling and survey research of national, state, and local elections.

That's, oh, okay.

I'm sorry, but since you work at Suffolk University in Boston, don't you work in a department?

Yeah, yes.

My five-year-old daughter knows the word wicked in many contexts as well, too.

A true native.

Well, welcome to the show, Mary.

Let me introduce you to our panel this week.

First up, she's a comedian who just had the winning answer on Family Feud and whose album, Yell Joy, is available everywhere.

It's Joyelle Nicole Johnson.

Hey, Mary.

Next, she's a writer and the founder of Hatch Space Community Wood Shop and School in Brattleboro, Vermont, where fall classes are now available at hatchspace.org.

It's Tom Bodette.

Hello, Mary.

And finally, someone who doesn't offer any woodworking classes, but is a correspondent for CBS Sunday morning.

It's Mohaka.

Hi, Mary.

So, Mary, you're going to play Who's Bill this time.

Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news.

If you can identify just two of them, you'll win our prize, which is any voice from our show you might choose from your voicemail.

Are you ready to go?

Yes.

All right, then.

Here we go.

Your first quote is from CBS News White House reporter Olivia Rinaldi on Tuesday as she was reacting live on camera to a news alert on her phone.

Oh my god.

Oh my god, it's huge.

The ring is ginormous.

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.

That was

the typical reaction

to the news of whose big engagement.

Would that be Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey?

Yes, it would be.

It's so exciting.

Taylor Swift and what's his name, are getting married.

This news just took over everywhere.

It pushed...

everything else off the front page.

It would have been a great week to release the Epstein files.

And it was amazing that this engagement announcement done on their Instagram, it caused chaos.

One college professor, this is true, said he had to cancel class, saying, quote, we all need to process this.

Another person said she found out when everybody in her grocery store started shrieking at the same time.

It's so amazing to see once again the universal love for the tight end of the Kansas City Chiefs.

She chose the wrong Kelsey brother.

You feel that way.

I have heard that sentimental.

Jason is more real, okay?

Choosing Travis over Jason is like choosing Jeff Bridges over Beau Bridges.

That's harsh.

I am not an expert in Kelsey's, but isn't Jason the guy who appeared famously shirtless and somewhat drunk on live TV at a football game?

I know.

Wasn't it hot?

The wedding should be the halftime show at the Super Bowl.

That actually would be great.

And also, who doesn't love a 12-minute wedding?

No, it would be great.

No, it would be great.

A halftime show at the next Super Bowl.

50,000 screaming fans.

Blue Angels flyover, right?

And the efficient is the Pope featuring Snoop Dogg.

Here,

here, Mary, is your next quote.

We thank our guests for sharing your voices and your love of Cracker Barrel.

That was the restaurant chain Cracker Barrel who announced that after a huge outcry this week, they'd be returning to their original what?

Their original logo.

That's right!

Cracker Barrel.

The restaurant chain caused outrage when they introduced a new logo just last week.

It removed the former logo, which had this iconic old man standing next to a Cracker Barrel.

Even worse, the new CEO said that they had shoved the old man into the barrel and threw him into the river.

After a week of complaints from right-wing influencers that Cracker Barrel was caving to the woke left and erasing their heritage, Cracker Barrel announced they'd be bringing back the old logo with some minor changes.

For example, now the old man next to the barrel is Robert E.

Lee.

I'm actually, I'm sorry.

I'm actually, I'm happy for the old man.

I think it was aegist to force him into retirement.

Right.

And I'm glad that he's been brought out of retirement.

And

I hate to be controversial.

But I mean, a lot of these logos, like the Land of Lakes Indian Lady, sorry.

I mean, she was forced into retirement.

What is she doing now?

Right.

She's hanging out with Aunt Jemima.

But I was feeling, you know, when I heard that they retired the old guy, I thought, well, it's about time.

He's kind of leaned over on that barrel.

He doesn't look comfortable.

He's got his right hand on his leg, like maybe he's got a little sciatica thing going on.

And I thought, all right, the guy needs a break.

Yeah, I'm happy they gave him a break because the logo was the problem I had with Cracker Barrel.

Yeah, really?

If it wasn't for the logo, you'd be dining there on every special occasion.

I love their rocking chairs.

But, I mean, you can't blame Cracker Barrel.

It's one thing, like, oh, God, we could get boycotted by, you know, like 35% of the nation, but what they really don't want is National Guard in their gift shop.

That's true.

Here's your last quote, Mary.

It's the London Times talking about a new scientific study.

Do you have an irresistible urge to nap?

So it turns out that according to science, it is actually a chronic medical condition that causes you to feel what in the middle of the day?

Tired and exhausted?

Yes, sleepy.

Almost a third of the population deals with, and this is a real scientific name, excessive daytime sleepiness or EDS.

That is shocking.

Two-thirds of people don't.

So it turns out that according to medical science, needing to take a nap every afternoon is a chronic illness.

Somewhere the entire pizza you had for lunch is saying, I told you it wasn't me.

I can't relate to this because I don't wake up before noon, so

I usually don't have this problem, but today I woke up at 10:30 this morning, so I have ERNS, which is excessive right now, sleepiness.

It's funny,

so many of the conditions that they're coming up with are exactly the same symptoms of being 70 years old

even 60 years old.

So I realize I've been essentially disabled for 10 years.

I know.

Bill, how did Mary do in our quiz?

We're up to a great start.

She got three in a row.

She is a winner.

Congratulations.

Well done.

Thank you so much for calling.

Thank you so much.

It was a lot of fun.

Take care, Mary.

All right, panel, now I have some questions for you about the week's news.

Tom, this week, USA Today ran a big story investigating whether or not you should do what in your underwear.

Hmm.

That's a very narrow list, and so we have to pinpoint this.

Well, I mean, we know you can zoom in your underwear.

We know you can record national radio programs in your underwear.

What can't you do in your underwear?

Is it can't or not supposed to?

It's an inquiry as to whether you should.

Oh, whether you should

whether you should.

I don't know, let's say, I'll throw this out, attend your daughter's wedding.

I think that would be a pretty brief article on that question, but I'll give you a hint.

This is relevant if you happen to suffer from EDS.

Nap in your underwear?

Sleep in your underwear.

700 words on whether or not you should sleep in your underwear.

Oh, forgot.

Under the headline, should you wear underwear at night?

But here's the thing.

This article never says whether or not you should wear underwear at night.

Not even in the section with the subhead quote, should you wear underwear at night?

We don't know.

They won't tell us.

It seems very strange to me.

It does.

It's like as if we don't have enough to worry about.

To pose a question like that.

And now everybody's like tearing themselves up, trying to figure out if you should.

I've been sleeping in my underwear for 50 years.

Have you?

I have, actually, probably.

What else would you sleep in?

I don't want to disclose too much, but when you wear underwear to sleep, you are more likely to dream that you're being strangled.

That's one man's personal experience, and we can't generalize from that.

The hell's the matter with you anymore?

Specifically,

what is being strangled?

Just everything is being strangled.

Coming up, our panelists get down on one knee in our bluff the listener game called 188, WaitWave to Play.

We'll be back in a minute with more of WaitWave, Don't Tell Me from NPR.

This message comes from NPR sponsor, Capella University.

Sometimes it takes a different approach to pursue your goals.

Capella is an online university accredited by the Higher Learning Commission.

That means you can earn your degree from wherever you are and be confident your education is relevant, recognized, and respected.

A different future is closer than you think with Capella University.

Learn more about earning a relevant degree at capella.edu.

This message comes from LinkedIn Ads.

One of the hardest parts about B2B marketing is reaching the right audience.

That's why you need LinkedIn ads.

You can target your buyers by job title, company, role, seniority, and skills.

All the professionals you need to reach in one place.

Get a $250 credit on your campaign so you can try it yourself.

Just go to linkedin.com slash results.

That's linkedin.com slash results.

Terms and conditions apply.

Only on LinkedIn ads.

Support for this podcast and the following message come from W.W.

Norton and Company, publishers of Dark Renaissance, the new book from Stephen Greenblad, Pulitzer Prize-winning author of The Swerve.

Dark Renaissance tells the story of Christopher Marlow, the playwright whose transgressive genius brought about a spectacular explosion of English literature, language, and culture in Elizabethan England.

Dark Renaissance is available now wherever books are sold.

This message comes from NPR sponsor Shopify.

No idea where to sell?

Shopify puts you in control of every sales channel.

It is the commerce platform revolutionizing millions of businesses worldwide.

Whether you're a garage entrepreneur or IPO ready, Shopify is the only tool you need to start, run, and grow your business without the struggle.

Once you've reached your audience, Shopify has the internet's best converting checkout to help you turn them from browsers to buyers.

Go to shopify.com slash NPR to take your business to the next level today.

From NPR and WBEC Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz.

I'm Bill Curtis.

We are playing this week with Tom, Bodette, Joyelle, Nicole Johnson, and Mo Rukka.

And here together is your host at Tanglewood in Western Massachusetts, Peter Sago.

Thank you, Bill.

Now it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me bluff the listener game.

Call 188, Wait, Wait, to play our game in the air, or you can always check out the pinned post on our Instagram page at WaitWaitNPR.

Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Hi, how you doing?

I'm doing okay.

Who's this?

I'm Rob from Springfield.

Rob, what do you do there in Springfield other than haunt my dreams with that voice?

Wait, I'm sorry, we had to pause the show.

Joyelle just ovulated.

Yeah, and I'm feeling like I'm sounding a little shrill today.

Rob, you're going to play the game where you have to tell truth from fiction.

Bill, what is Rob's topic?

Rob, will you marry me?

Because you might have heard there was a big proposal in the news this week, but that couple was not the only ones to get engaged.

Someone else made headlines for their hard work to plan the perfect proposal our panelists are each going to tell you about it and pick the one who's telling the truth and you'll win the waiter of your choice in your voicemail first up it's joyelle nicole johnson before i start hi rob

There are timeless ways to say, will you marry me?

But Dan Cole, a crypto billionaire from Silver Spring, Maryland, wanted to give his marriage proposal to his girlfriend Valentina a real kick.

He contacted her favorite soccer team, Real Madrid, and made an offer that they couldn't refuse.

Two months and four million euros later, he flew his would-be fiancé to Spain for what she thought was just a regular match.

Then, at the end of the game, when the goalie blocked the final kick for the win, the entire Real Madrid Madrid squad tore off their jerseys to reveal undershirts that all read, Quieres consarte con migo Valentina?

and a kiss cam zoomed in on the couple as he got down on one knee.

So 30,000 fans got to see her look of horror and dismay.

Because her favorite dream ain't Real Madrid, but Atletico Madrid, the rival team that had just been humiliated by them 8-0.

Thankfully, she took it all in stride.

She even said yes all while glaring at the team captain Donny Carvajal because she hates that dude.

The only person upset was the Atletico Madrid team captain who said, quote, I would have told my daughter to say no.

A man arranges to have his girlfriend's favorite soccer team proposed for him, but it's the wrong soccer team.

Your next engaging engagement comes from Tom Bodet.

Engagements are problematic.

There's the whole patriarchy thing and kneeling sucks.

And then of course, diamonds.

Those that weren't stolen from an impoverished country by some colonial power probably came from someplace worse, like Zales.

So when Michael Fox and her boyfriend Trevor Ballou decided to get married, she told him, we're not getting engaged until I find my own ethically sourced diamond.

Turns out the world's only public diamond mine is in, you guessed it, Arkansas.

So off to Arkansas she goes.

Fox camped out at Crater of Diamonds State Park and dug around every day from 8 to 4.

But on Fox's final day, she noticed a glimmer by her foot.

She thought it was just dew, but it turned out to be a 2.3 carat diamond, the third largest discovered at the park that year.

Fox says the stone embodies who she wants to be in her marriage, a person who spends all day by herself, working really long, hard, unglamorous, sweaty, smelly hours at problems that may not be solvable.

It sounds like they're also planning a family.

Good luck, Michelle and Trevor.

A woman

ethically sources her own engagement ring diamond by digging it up herself.

Your last improbable proposal comes from Mo Raka.

When Boston's friend Kelly met Tom Wilbur, it was love at first laugh.

Tom was full of pranks and surprises.

So when Tom told her he had something big to discuss over dinner one night, Fran was expecting a one-of-a-kind wedding proposal.

Instead, Tom told her he was slowly and irreversibly dying from mercury poisoning.

It was devastating news for Fran, except it wasn't true.

I wanted to give her the ultimate surprise, said Tom.

The ruse would end with Tom waking from the dead at his own funeral to propose to Fran.

But when Fran arrived at the funeral, she was accompanied by her college crush, Mickey Cavuti,

who'd heard the devastating news and rushed to her side.

Fran and Mickey were married only two weeks later.

Call this comedy one wedding and a sort of funeral, except there was nothing funny about it for Tom, who was now old and alone.

The end.

It's the top story.

All right, Rob.

Here are your choices.

From Joelle Nicole Johnson, a rich guy who paid the wrong soccer team to propose to his girlfriend for him.

From Tom Baudette, a woman who insisted she would not get engaged until she dug up her own diamond with her own hands.

That's that how this works where people clap for what they think is real.

Apparently it's how it works here

and from Mo Raka a man who thought he'd give his fiancée the surprise of her life when he popped up from his own coffin to pop the question.

Which of these is the real story of engagements in the news?

I'm definitely gonna have to go with sourcing a diamond.

Okay

Your

Your choice then is Tom's story.

Well, to find out which story is true, we hear from the bride herself.

They come from the ground.

What is conceptually stopping us from just getting one ourselves?

That was Michelle Fox speaking to Morning Edition about mining her own diamond in Arkansas.

Where there really is the only public diamond mined in the whole world.

Congratulations, Rob.

You got it right.

You earned a point for Tom.

You've won our prize, the voice of your choice.

It's been a pleasure talking to you and hearing from you.

Thank you so much for playing.

Bye, Rob.

Thank you.

Bye-bye, Rob.

Thank you.

Bye-bye.

And now the game we call Not My Job.

Paul Giamatti is a movie star for all of us.

He doesn't play spies or superheroes, but he plays mostly every men.

He's built a career playing people struggling with everything from existential regret to writer's block to being dyed completely blue.

And every time we see his performances on screen or on TV, we say to ourselves, yeah, that's me.

That's my life because I too have been dyed completely blue.

His latest project is a heartbreaking episode of the science fiction anthology Black Mirror.

We are delighted he joins us here at Tanglewood.

Paul Giamatti, welcome to Wait With.

Thank you very much.

Thank you.

Way welcome.

Bill Crescent.

Thank you.

Usually when I talk to actors with extremely long and varied careers like you, I ask what role you're most often known for, but in your case, I wanted to ask something slightly different, which is

based on all the roles you've played, what kind of assumptions do people make about you as a real person?

Oh, lots.

I mean, the wine thing, everybody assumes I know all about wine.

I don't know crap about wine.

There you go, okay.

Is there like a paradigmatic Paul Giamatti role?

Like, like, who do they,

there's a role that they say, we got to get Paul Giamatti because he's perfect.

Geez, I don't know.

I mean, it used to be, I would get a script and I'd open it and I'd be reading it and I would come to a character where they say kind of a disheveled man sort of shuffles into the room.

Or something, or an angry voice is heard off camera.

Yelling in the bathroom or something.

And I was like, this is my part, okay.

Get out the highlighter, right?

Here we go.

Yep, and so it's, yeah, it was generally, you know, there's an angry middle management type who steps in.

Just as soon as you see the line, what the hell are you doing?

That's actually highlighting.

That's it.

Exactly, exactly.

Wow.

You started out in theater, you started in Yale, and like a lot of actors, you worked your way up.

One of your first TV roles, I was told, was Man in Sleeping Bags in white PD Blue.

That's right.

Well,

it was one of the first kind of roles I had on television or anything.

I'd been doing some legit theater.

Oh, of course.

And then I took a day off to go play Man in Sleeping Bags.

Yeah.

What did they have you do as Man in Sleeping Bag?

Not witness the crime is what I did.

Really?

Yeah, they came to question us about who witnessed the crime and I said not me man.

And that was it.

I was in the sleeping bag and they were Dennis Franz was going, who saw anything that happened?

I said, not me, man.

And were you down on the ground looking up at the bag?

Yep, I was down on the ground.

Exactly.

I was looking up at Dennis Franz.

I went, not me, man.

It's amazing.

So many years later, you can still remember your lines.

Since I brought it up, I have to mention the movie Big Fat Liar, in which you were, in fact, dyed completely blue.

Correct.

Can you explain, for those who didn't see that movie, why were you dyed completely blue?

I stole

an idea from a kid for a screenplay.

I play a big movie producer.

And I steal the kid's idea, and the kid gets revenge on me in various ways, but one way is dumping a bunch of blue dye in my swimming pool.

And so then I go for a swim and I get dyed blue.

Right.

Yeah.

Listen, man, you know, I made decent money.

It was a big, you know.

Listen.

You know, I mean, what was I going to do?

Say no?

Yeah, I know.

And did you lie there?

And did you lie there as they were spray painting you blue for two hours?

Yeah, oh, two hours.

Saying, I am a graduate of Yale School of Drama.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

I tell you, interesting little thing about that.

They spray you with tattoo ink like that.

It was blue tattoo ink.

And every night the guy had to, or somebody had to rub it off of me.

It stayed on my feet for about six months.

We couldn't get it off my feet.

So my feet were blue for about six months.

Just a little bit of trivia.

Yeah, you were on your trip.

Yeah.

And did your friends and family just sort of understand this?

Yes, they did.

Yes, very understanding people.

It wasn't like you went home and your wife was like, Paul, do you have gangrene?

Yes, I do.

You have, and I am among them in the larger sense, you have a very devoted fan base.

And in fact, they have created the wax Paul Now movement.

Are you aware of this?

Yes, I'm aware of it, yeah.

I think it's a thing of the past.

I think that train has left the station.

I don't think I'm getting a wax statue at Madame Tussau's.

So that idea was that people, they actually created a movement to get you, Paul Giamatti, star of Stage and Scream, your own wax figurine at Madame Tussau's.

Yes, they tried to, and it didn't work.

Right.

Yeah.

Did you get it?

I don't know how you qualify.

That's my question.

What's the qualification for getting a wax statue?

I don't know.

Right.

If I can't get one, who the hell can get one?

I mean, that's

for Christ's sake.

I mean, my gut, right?

No, that would have been, that would have been, that would have been retirement time.

That would have been like, I'm done.

That's good.

I don't need any more honors than that.

Well, Paul Giamatti.

Yes.

Well, Paul Giamatti, we have asked you here to play a game we're calling...

Holdovers, fun.

Leftovers, yum.

So you just started a movie called The Holdovers, which was great, but it made us think of leftovers.

A lot of people liked it.

Nice.

Good, great.

And that movie made us think of leftovers, which of course made us think of Tupperware.

Answer two or three questions about the iconic food containers, and you will win our prize for one of our contestants, the voice of anyone they choose for their voicemail.

Bill, who is Paul Giamatti playing for?

Barbara Jack Lich from Salisbury, Connecticut.

All right.

Here's your first question.

Ready to go?

Yeah.

Here's your first question.

Okay.

Everybody loves Tupperware, including your fellow celebrities, like legendary singer Patty LaBelle.

We know this because she recently told an interviewer what?

A, that Elton John stole her Tupperware and never gave it back.

B, that her concert rider includes eight quart-sized Tupperware containers so she can take home leftovers.

Or, C, that she keeps the cremains of her three late husbands in them so they can, quote, stay fresh.

Cremaines.

Oh, boy.

Cremain sounds like something you could eat.

Yeah, it does.

Enjoy cremaines.

Soft surface.

I guess I'm going with that one.

I guess I'm going to do it.

No, it was Elton John.

Oh!

Wow.

Yes, but you mentioned that she has a big heart.

She did.

Back in the 60s, when she was pretty big, but Elton John was just a starving young piano player.

He came to her house.

Not only did she feed him, she gave him leftovers to take home in Tupperware.

And she says, 50 years later, never got a pound.

That's amazing.

That's awesome.

All right, you have two more chances.

Here's your next question.

Tupperware isn't just for leftover food.

A Tupperware container was used at one point for storing which of these?

A, Queen Elizabeth's collection of favorite earrings.

B, Albert Einstein's brain,

or C, two pounds of plutonium left over from making the first atomic bomb.

That seems absurd to me.

The plutonium one, that would just melt the plastic.

Even Tupperware couldn't do that.

Tupperware couldn't handle that.

Einstein's brain was stolen by a couple of guys, right?

Yeah.

And they drove around with it in the trunk of their car, I think.

I'm going to actually guess it's that one.

Einstein's brain, you're right.

So, what happened was

Einstein's brain was removed from his body after he died by the doctor who did the autopsy.

There was no law against it then.

But

when he did drive across the country in an attempt to return it to Einstein's descendants,

he did put it in a Tupperware.

Amazing.

So, this is the last question.

Earl Tupper, the guy who invented Tupperware,

he was a prolific inventor.

He also came up with which of these ideas?

A, a fish-powered boat.

B, a combination belt buckle and photo frame.

What?

No, that's not interesting.

Or C,

the jet ski.

Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on.

This is hard.

I want to go with fish-powered boat because I think that's kind of cool.

Your choice is fish-powered boat.

He actually came up with the idea for all of them.

That's a good question.

He left a notebook behind with all these ideas, including all the ones I mentioned.

And yes, one of them was a motorcycle for the water that looks just like a jet ski.

He never patented it, but he did come up with it.

Wow.

There you are.

He's like Leonardo da Vinci.

He really was in many ways.

Wow.

Bill, how did Paul Giamatti do in our brain?

Two out of three.

That's a win, Paul.

Yes.

Yeah.

We're in the camp.

They're celebrating in Salisbury.

They are.

They are.

Joe and Nuts in Salisbury.

Woo!

Setting things on fire.

Coaching cards out.

Paul Giamatti is an Oscar nominee and Emmy winner.

You can soon see in Downton Abbey the grand finale coming to theaters on September 12th or the episode eulogy of Black Mirror available right now.

Paul Giamatti, thank you so much for coming.

Paul Giamatti.

In just a minute, Bill pulls out his axe and shreds for you in our Listener Limbrick Challenge call 188, wait, wait, to join us in the air.

We'll be back in a minute with more Wait Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.

This message comes from LinkedIn, delivering candidates who rise above the rest.

With an up-to-date view into shared connections, skills, and interests you won't find anywhere else, your next great hire is here.

See why 86% of small businesses who post a job on LinkedIn get a qualified candidate within a day post a job for free at linkedin.com slash NPR LinkedIn your next great hire is here this message comes from Schwab everyone has moments when they could have done better same goes for where you invest level up and invest smarter with Schwab get market insights education and human help when you need it support for NPR and the following message is from Bosch e-Bike Systems.

Over 100 e-bike brands trust Bosch for its reliable and intuitive riding experience.

Backed with almost 140 years of technology expertise, Bosch isn't just keeping up with trends, they're setting them.

Visit a local bike dealer or go to ebike.com to learn more about how Bosch e-bike systems keep pace with your life.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz.

I'm Bill Curtis.

We're playing this week with Joyelle, Nicole Johnson, Tom Boden, and Mooraka.

And here again is your host at Tanglewood in Western Massachusetts, Peter Sagal.

Thank you, Bill.

Thank you, everybody.

In just a minute,

Bill...

addresses our limerick game by its full name, the Listener Limerichard Challenge.

If you'd like to play, give us a call.

188-WAT WAIT, that's 1-888-924-8924.

But now, panel, I have some more questions for you from the week's news.

Tom, there's a new trend of places that offer multiple TV showing sports, pool, foosball tables, arcade games, and other amenities, all just to lure men into doing what?

Oh, I know this.

Seeing a doctor.

Exactly right.

According to researchers, men live shorter lives than women on average, primarily because they refuse to go to the doctor.

It makes sense.

Medicine is for softies.

Live hard, die young, men.

Since staying alive is apparently not enough of an incentive to get men to come see the doctor, some men's medical clinics are trying to lure them in with things like sports on TV and table games.

Fellas, get your checkup maxing on at your closest bro MD.

The waiting room is full of leather and brushed steel, and the axe-throwing parlor is attached to the ER.

Man, so

I mean, if you're in one of those little robes with no butt in it, you know, and you're sitting on the leather furniture, I mean,

that's starting to sound like a wait, what it's a robe with no butt?

You know, the little gowns they give you.

Picture it on Jason Kelsey.

I'm just picturing this sports bar with everybody in the sports.

Wearing that.

Lean over to take a shot of the pool table and everybody looks away.

Yeah.

That's not my fan.

Now, it's not just that, because men are apparently so helpless when it comes to the doctor.

This is all true that there is a men's clinic in Cleveland that has a staff of eight, quote, Joes.

That's what they're called, Joes.

And they help patients with everything from scheduling appointments and finding pharmacies to even reminding the clients of things like Mother's Day and anniversaries.

They're Joe's?

I thought it would be the opposite.

Like it would be a Hooters type situation.

Like in little nurse outfits and being like,

well, Joe's from Mo, but Hooters for Mo.

Yeah.

Dependent.

Thank you.

That's very considerate.

I see you, Moe.

They would have a selection.

Yeah.

Joyelle, Burning Man organizers are vowing to rebuild after a devastating dust storm this last week destroyed the dedicated dome there on the playa that is used for what?

Orgies!

Yes!

The orgy dome is no more at Burning Man.

Now, it's never right to make fun of people suffering from a weather tragedy they didn't deserve unless it involves an orgy dome.

Now, the orgy dome isn't just a diaphragm marketed to millennials.

It's

It is a specific place set up at Burning Man every year where orgies are held.

And this week, a 50-mile per hour dust storm tore through the site and completely destroyed the tent.

Maybe God is real after all.

Yeah.

The Burning Man staff says that they will rebuild the orgy dome because luckily that part of the FEMA budget wasn't cut.

Coming up, it's Lightning Fell in the Blank.

But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme.

If you want to play on air, call or leave a message at 1888-WAIT WAIT.

That's 1-888-924-8924.

You can see us most weeks here at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, or you can catch us on the road.

We'll be at the fabulous Fox Theater in St.

Louis on September 18th.

And Honolulu, Hawaii, can you believe it?

On October 9th and 10th.

For tickets and information to all of our live shows, go to nprpresents.org.

And if you're really desperate for us, you can find even more of us on TikTok at WeightWait NPR.

Hi, you're on Weight Wait, don't tell me.

Hey, this is Meesh from Philadelphia.

Hey, Meesh, how are you?

I'm good, how are you?

I'm fine.

In my mind, every cool person in Philadelphia is named something like Meech.

Yeah, you're not wrong.

Yeah, and what do you do there?

I do a whole bunch of stuff, but right now my primary job is I work at a little store that sells board games and card games.

Oh, I love board game stores.

They're the best.

They are the best.

Do you have a favorite?

Oh, I thought you might ask me that, and I totally should have prepared for that question.

All right, hang on.

This sometimes helps jog your memory here.

Is there a game you hate the most, and is it Monopoly?

Yes.

Yes, yes, absolutely.

Well, Mish, welcome to the show.

Bill Curtis is going to perform for you three news-related limericks with a last word or phrase missing from each.

If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you'll be a winner.

You ready to go?

Absolutely.

Here's your first limerick.

My sport doesn't need ball or bat

or even an exercise mat.

I strengthen my core chasing birds out of doors.

I run on all fours like a

cat?

Like a cat.

Yes, the hot new trend in fitness is running around in nature on all fours like a cat.

I guess this is why everybody was reading that book All Fours this last summer.

It must be an exercise manual.

The movement is known as quadrobics and practitioners say it can increase your fitness, help you lose weight, even give you rock hard abs.

So I no longer feel weird about commenting under every cat video, wow, how can I look this hot?

Here is your next limerick.

This hotel sounds like one big band camp because the outlets serve more than a lamp.

Let's go to the bar to check out a guitar, because each room has its own marshal.

I'm gonna need to hear that one again sure let's hear it again this hotel sounds like one big band camp because the outlets serve more than a lamp Let's go to the bar to check out a guitar because each room has its own martial

I can't hear you.

I appreciate the effort though

it it rhymes with camp and lamp.

It has to do with guitars and martial arts.

Oh, an amp.

An amp, yes.

When you check into a Ruby hotel, that's a European hotel chain soon coming to America, guests can select an electric guitar from the collection in the lobby, bring it up to their room, plug it into the amp that every room is provided with, and shred away.

Fun for you.

Not so for the person in the next room who will start banging in the adjoining wall yelling, could you please have loud, gross sex instead?

Can you imagine how many times you'd have to hear stairway to heaven?

Oh my god.

All right, here is your last limerick.

In Japan, we're protecting our teens.

All the doom scrollers and gossip queens.

Two hours at home, you can be on your phone.

Eddie Moore, and we're taking your

screens.

Screens, yes.

If you want to look at your phone less

and you need encouragement, just move to the town of Taiuake in Japan, where they just passed a law meant to limit everyone's screen time to just two hours a day.

It's going to be great for people to have this law one way or another.

Either your screen time goes down or your step count goes up when you try to get out of city limits just to get the latest on Real Housewives of Atlanta.

Now, this ban would not affect just phones, but also laptops, which is crazy because laptops aren't screens, laptops are TV,

and TV is books.

Bill, how did Mish do on our quiz?

They got all three winners!

Congratulations, Mish!

Thank you very much.

Thank you so much for calling and playing.

Take care.

It's hard, it's true, to be without you.

I don't complain.

It's just insane.

It's hard, it's true to be without you.

Yeah.

Support for this podcast and the following message come from Fisher Investments.

SVP Judy Abrams reflects on the importance of Fisher Investments' holistic approach.

I think individuals really like the fact that we can help them with their estate planning.

We can help them with their social security questions, their Medicare questions.

We can especially help them figure out what their income resources are going to be in retirement.

So we're going to be asking you questions to make sure we truly understand what's going on with you.

Then we can make decisions not only for the present moment, but also for whatever direction you're going into.

When clients realize that it's not just managing the money, it's taking care of all these other areas of their life.

Then they can relax.

They know they're in good hands.

Learn more at FisherInvestments.com.

Investing in securities involves the risk of loss.

This message comes from EasyCater, committed to helping organizations order and manage food for all their business needs, with online ordering from favorite restaurants, employee meal programs, and tools to see and control food spend.

At easycator.com.

This message comes from Ollie.

Back to school season can take a lot out of parents.

Ollie is dedicated to helping you prioritize your wellness with solutions that fit seamlessly into your routine, like women's multi- and probiotic mango for your immune system and Ollie's sleep gummies for nighttime rest when occasional sleeplessness occurs.

Shop these products and more at Ollie.com or retailers nationwide.

These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.

These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

Now, on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank.

Each player will have 60 seconds now to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can.

Each correct answer now worth two points.

Bill, can you give us the scores?

Mo has one, Joyel has two, and look at the big man.

Tom has four.

Whoa, how is that possible?

I don't know.

Mo, then Joyelle, then Tom.

So that means, Mo, we start with you.

The clock will start when I begin your first question, fill-in-the-blank.

On Monday, the White House followed through on threats to level a 50% tariff rate on goods from Blank.

India.

Right.

On Sunday, the U.S.

government announced they had acquired a 10% stake in computer company Blank.

Intel.

Right, this week, Russia launched a new air attack on Blank.

Key.

Right, on Tuesday, the FDA approved updated Blank vaccines just for select groups.

COVID.

Right, this week, 73-year-old Bill Belichick and his 26-year-old girlfriend filed a trademark for the phrase blank.

Oh, it's the trademark,

not robbing the cradle.

It's a trademark,

Sugar daddy.

No.

Oh, you're going to hate yourself, ready?

Gold digger.

Oh.

Sugar daddy is a synonym for gold digger.

It's a trademark.

According to a new study, 60% of teachers admit to using blank for lesson planning.

AI.

Right.

On Wednesday, paleontologists announced the discovery of a new armored blank.

Dinosaur vehicle?

Yes.

No, just dinosaur.

Dinosaur.

Dinosaur.

This week,

a 75-year-old realtor at a concert in the Hamptons was arrested after she allegedly blanked just to get a free t-shirt thrown to the crowd.

She

stole from a child.

Yes.

Yeah, yeah.

Who she did what to...

Did she hit the child?

I'll give it to you.

She bit the child.

Yes.

During a t-shirt toss at the Main Beach concert series in the Hamptons, one very high-end real estate agent got so excited that she allegedly punched and kicked her way through the crowd and then bit the arm of a seven-year-old in order to claim the shirt.

It finally answers the question, what do you get for the woman who has everything?

Flesh.

There's a reason they're called brokers.

Exactly.

Bill, how did Mo do on our quiz?

He's coming on strong.

Seven more points.

He's got 14 and 15 a total.

for the lead.

All right.

Joyelle, you're up next.

Here we go.

Fill in the blank.

blank.

In Israel, hundreds of thousands of protesters took to the streets demanding an end to the war in blank.

Palestine?

I'll give it to you, Gaza.

This week, prosecutors failed to secure an indictment against a man who threw a blank at a federal agent in D.C.

A sandwich.

A sandwich.

According to new data, blank is making oceans significantly more acidic.

Shark poop.

No, climate change.

On Wednesday, NASA said that a building-sized asteroid would miss the Earth, but might hit the blank.

Moon.

That's right, Moon.

Following years of constant construction noise, Mark Zuckerberg is finally making amends with his neighbors by blanking.

Giving them billions of dollars.

No, he's not going to do that, but he will give them all noise-canceling headphones.

So Zuckerberg has spent over $100 million buying up 11 homes together to make a residential compound in Palo Alto, California, including the excavation of over 7,000 square feet of underground rooms.

So, after nine years of constant construction, finally, he listened to his beleaguered neighbors and made it up to them by giving them noise-canceling headphones.

And the first month of the subscription you need to make them work is free.

He's a charmer.

He really is.

How'd I do, Bill?

Well, you're in the game.

Three rights, six more points.

You have a total of eight,

which is number two.

All right.

All right.

So, how many then does Tom need to win, Bill?

Six to win, Thomas.

Here we go.

On Monday, President Trump signed an order purportingly making it illegal to burn blank.

The flag.

Right.

On Tuesday, Denmark called a meeting with a U.S.

envoy over reports that the administration was running covert influence operations in blank.

Greenland.

Right.

This week, Lucasfilm announced that filming had begun in the new blank movie.

Oh, the

Star Wars.

Yes.

Following clashes with RFK Jr., the recently installed head of the blank was fired.

CDC.

Right.

This week, Duolingo issued an apology after the app repeatedly taught users to say the phrase blank in German.

Go

to yourself.

No.

It taught them how to say the phrase, quote, I like the Harry Potter books, but I don't like the author, unquote.

According to a new study, getting better blank increases happiness in young people.

Getting better sleep.

Yes, getting better sleep.

On Thursday, private space company Blank launched 30 more satellites into orbit.

That would be X Space Space.

Yes, this week a golfer competing in the BMW Championship hit his ball just next to the hole, but still managed to score under par thanks to Blank.

A

passing

bird.

No!

A fly that landed on the ball and made it fall in the hole.

The video, which you can see, is amazing.

Zooms in very close.

The ball comes to a stop right in the lip of the hole.

Then a tiny fly lands on one side of the ball, crawls over to the other, and it's added weight on that side that trips it into the hole.

Awesome.

It's amazing.

Oh my goodness.

Thanks to the, and this counts, because, you know, rule does not say you can't have a fly as as a helper that that should be like a shrine.

It really should be Bill did Tom do well enough to win he got six right.

What a winner number one congratulations Tom.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you very much

Coming up our panelists will reveal what did the old man from the cracker barrel logo do with his week off

Wait, wait, don't tell me.

It's a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with urgent haircut productions Doug Berman the benevolent overlord, Philip Godeka, Reiser of Limericks, our public address announcer is Paul Friedman, our tour manager is Shana Donald.

Thanks to the staff and crew in Tanglewood and everyone here at NEPM.

BJ Leaderman composed of our theme.

Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Grumbos, and Lillian King.

Special thanks to Mohaned El Sheikhi and Monica Hickey.

The director of the Ritzman Family Singers is Peter Gwynn.

And Machoy is our Vime Curator.

Technical Directions from Lauren White.

Our CFO is Colin Miller.

Our production manager is Robert Newhouse.

Our senior producer is Ian Chillock.

and the executive producer, wait, wait, don't tell me, that's Michael Danforth.

Now, panel, what will we find out that the old guy in the cracker barrel logo did with his free time this week?

Tom Baudette.

Needing to work that cramp out of his leg from sitting in that chair all those years, he had to do the Berkshires for a week-long yoga camp at Krapal.

Joyelle Nicole Johnson.

He submitted a formal apology to the NAACP.

And Mo Raka.

He went and got a COVID shot.

He'll last another week before he gets canned again.

Well, if any of that happens, panel, we're going to ask you about it on Wade.

Wade, don't tell me.

Thank you, Bill Curtis.

Thanks also to Joel Nicole Johnson, Mo Rocka Trumbo Deck.

Thanks to our fabulous audience at the Berkshires at Tanglewood.

And thanks to all of you for listening, wherever you might be.

I'm Peter Sagan.

We'll see you next week.

This is NPR.

This message comes from NPR sponsor Capella University.

Sometimes it takes a different approach to pursue your goals.

Capella is an online university accredited by the Higher Learning Commission.

That means you can earn your degree from wherever you are and be confident your education is relevant, recognized, and respected.

A different future is closer than you think with Capella University.

Learn more about earning a relevant degree at capella.edu.

Support for NPR and the following message is from Bosch e-bike systems.

Over 100 e-bike brands trust Bosch for its reliable and intuitive riding experience.

Backed with almost 140 years of technology expertise, Bosch isn't just keeping up with trends, they're setting them.

Visit a local bike dealer or go to ebike.com to learn more about how Bosch e-bike systems keep pace with your life.

This message comes from Whole Foods Market.

It's Stock Up September at Whole Foods Market.

Enjoy quick breakfasts for less with $365 by Whole Foods Market seasonal coffee and oatmeal.

Stock up now at Whole Foods Market, in-store and online.