WDWDY #34: What a sexy podcast...

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Charlie Sheen is an icon of decadence.

I lit the fuse and my life turns into everything it wasn't supposed to be.

He's going the distance.

He was the highest paid TV star of all time.

When it started to change, it was quick.

He kept saying, no, no, no, I'm in the hospital now, but next week I'll be ready for the show.

Now?

Charlie's sober.

He's going to tell you the truth.

How do I present this with any class?

I think we're past that, Charlie.

We're past that, yeah.

Somebody call action.

AKA Charlie Sheen, only on Netflix, September 10th.

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Podcasts, there are millions of them.

Some might say, too many?

I have one already.

I don't have any because there are enough.

Politics, business, sport, you name it.

There's a podcast about it, and they all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day.

But nobody is covering the most important topic of all.

Why is that?

Are they scared?

Too afraid of being censored by the man?

Possibly, but not us.

We're here to ask the only question that matters.

We'll try and say it at the same time, Max.

What did you do yesterday?

What did you do yesterday?

What did you do yesterday?

That's it.

All we're interested in is what the guests got up to yesterday, nothing more.

Day before yesterday, Max?

Nope.

The greatest and most interesting day of your life.

Unless it was yesterday, we don't want to know about it.

I'm Max Rushton, and I'm David O'Doherty.

Welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday?

Hello, and welcome to today's episode of Midweek Mayhem.

From the people that bring you What Did You Do Yesterday.

My name's Max Rushton and he is David O'Doherty.

Welcome.

I am ready to yesterday.

This is the least I've ever spoken to anyone before we've recorded an episode.

I wonder if you're getting that in my voice.

I need to point out I've been up for an hour and I went for a little walk, but I didn't meet anyone.

So this is fresh.

There was coming out now.

Look, all I'll say in my defense is I'm still at this never-ending Edinburgh fringe.

Of course.

I'm spending my evenings yelling.

So maybe these timbres, my morning timbres, are a little more baritone.

Well, I'm coming off the back of nine straight days of radio.

And actually, I feel I've got a little bit of, this is quite, you know, a bit of Barry White.

What a sexy podcast.

There'll be women swooning while listening to this.

Shall we start with some feedback, David?

Yes.

Huge news here from the Shipleys of Brighton, of course.

90% of our audience are in Brighton.

Max, David, and Marsbar, my husband and I listen to your podcast religiously when episodes are released.

We listen separately, then come together to discuss each episode.

It's become a great part of our week.

I should hope so.

That's how everybody does it.

Have you heard about the decline in book clubs and book groups since this podcast started?

Now people just get together and discuss this podcast.

Also, yeah, religiously implies because it comes out on a Sunday morning.

Absolutely, yeah.

A lot of churches just blare the full podcast and people listen and then afterwards can talk about it in groups.

Anyway, they said you asked before for people to let you know what they're doing while listening to the pod.

My waters broke at 5 a.m.

on the 24th of July, and we decided the best thing to keep us calm through my initial contractions was to listen to Midweek Mayhem Welcome Home Max episode.

That's you flaunting around Totterbrook or someplace that sounds

like it's from a PG Woodhouse novel near Peter.

I was at the Lensbury in Teddington.

Another martini, please.

Thank you for helping us through this life-changing event.

I went on to give birth to our beautiful baby boy, William VIII, King William VIII of Brighton at 8 p.m.

Yes, my husband is William VII.

Wow, I thought the Williams ran out at about four, didn't they?

But they're back.

William VIII.

We are devastated that you're doing a show in London in September as it's too early for us to both leave the baby.

Please come and do a show in Brighton so all the comedians drinking coffee can attend from the shipleys.

So congratulations.

Is this off?

Is this the first, what did you do yesterday, baby?

If you really loved us, you would have moved away from William and called him B.O.C.

Shipley, which, you know,

he would sound like a sort of golfer, you know, comes 20th in the Masters.

And six on to par after a good third round, it's B.O.C.

Shipley.

No one need ever know what they stand for.

May Junior forever be chasing a goose.

That's the greeting that we give you from the podcast.

Imagine how big we'd be in Brighton, though.

We'd have to rent out, is it the Amex Stadium?

Is that where they play?

Just us standing in the middle of the pitch, people cheering every word.

We've had so much feedback from the John Roberts pod and the Ross Noble pod.

Very different, both very long, both very different.

John, this is from Anonymous.

I love this.

It's sort of a backhanded compliment.

This is the only episode I have recommended to another person.

Congratulations.

As a member of the fellowship, I love John's candidness and tempered honesty about what occurs in those spaces.

Also, I burst into tears while driving when he mentioned Danny Champion of the World.

Other than my AA group meeting, you are the highlight of my Sundays.

Thank you.

Oh, my God.

Which is really nice.

This one came from John, slightly different feedback.

I think you may have finally gone full max in this episode.

Five minutes of John intelligently articulating how we shouldn't berate ourselves for using our phones and the psychological nuances of the complex decision trees we have to navigate.

Two-second pause.

Max.

My Instagram tells me I should hang from a bar.

Yes, John Robbins, thank you so much.

There's just one piece of feedback, I can't remember the person's name, but they just opened it with, as a long-term John Robbins apologist.

I enjoyed the episode.

I just love that your fans are called apologists.

For Ross Noble, I mean, Seamus says, I sent you an email about nearly throwing up during the Adam Buxton episode when he was describing his shower.

I passed the same point where that happened today on my run, and Ross Noble hadn't even woken up yet.

The Robbins was another episode where

he tried to hurry us along.

We got so bogged down in his wordle.

At one point, he mentions a wordle where you do a thousand wordles at the same time.

I was thinking about that.

How does that work?

That's all the words, isn't it?

You're never going to be wrong.

It's true.

And then Robbins has to say, We're still at 7:30 or something.

Yeah, come on, boys.

There's three messages on the Ross Noble episode, which I'll read.

Fergie saying, The Waylon chat, The Start, Crying, Laughing, nearly crashed the Courser.

Underestimated says it was a pleasure to listen to this.

I nearly crashed on the Mitchell Freeway, laughing at the thought, the thoughts of chicken legs coming out of a bath.

But Christ, my one-hour Monday commutes were joyous.

Thank you.

DJ LKP, I'm 17 minutes in.

I've nearly crashed the car twice from laughing.

I'm holding off the rest for everyone's safety.

Who knew?

Who knew that you know, Ross Noble, he caused RTAs across the world?

I mean, I do remember that opening from The Dukes of Hazard, which for many of our listeners, they'll never have seen it.

But the Dukes of Hazard opened with generally there'd be a car chase.

And a man's voice who we now find out is Waylon Jennings, a country singer and the man who walked out of Lionel Ritchie's We Are the World session

from the movie that I watched a few weeks ago.

The tense of it was he'd be like, Well,

those boys seem to have got themselves in an awful pickle.

Like, it was always he dropped you.

What was the show where you saw the crime being committed at the start

combo?

So, similarly, I think, yeah, Jukes of Hazard just dropped you straight into whatever the pickle was this week.

I have been doing a few Waylon Jennings, just walking along.

Well, you were that's the little thing.

It's really fun.

Sean says, well, you have to do it in Ross Noble's line when he went, B.B.

King did Super Ted.

Christ, I thought I was going to pass out laughing at that.

And Simon says, please do a spin-off series of former hostages being interviewed after Through the Keyhole.

Yeah, it went in lots of directions, as we'd imagine the Ross Noble episode would.

But yeah, thank you to Ross and John.

This is in Charles says, Really Max's terrible music taste and his love of Top Loader.

May have been overstated in this podcast.

On the Ross No, I love him.

Could I think of another song?

By Top Loader.

By Top Loader.

There isn't another song.

No, there is.

I can hear it now.

I think it's called Achilles, Achilles Heel.

I think there's one called Achilles Heel.

I think I'm the only person that can name another Top Loader song.

There's a chance, because they're so synonymous with that one song.

Who sang I Like to Move It, Move It?

Inikamozi.

And then afterwards, the follow-up was called Come On, Move It, I think.

You know what I mean?

So it's a possible Top Loader stuck with the moonlight oh I see and was like sitting in the moonlight in the same way the venge boys oeuvre seems quite narrow doesn't it um charles says remax's terrible music taste and his love of top loader on the ross noble episode i noted the references to the baja men and letting the dogs out

just letting you know hi baja men i just did it is max aware that dancing in the moonlight was originally a hit for the baja men in the early 90s circle is complete everything is showbiz that can't be true can it no it's got to be nonsense No, that's nonsense.

Dancing in the moonlight,

dancing in the moonlight.

Now, I think it was King Crimson originally.

Oh, hang on, Dancing in the Moonlight song by the Baja Men 1994.

Was it in the same style as Who Let the Dog Zed?

I went to the moment.

I'm going to listen to it now and I'll let you know.

We get it all.

Wow.

Excellent listeners.

I've never seen that smile like this.

You can't knock it.

Okay, look, we're in legally shaky ground if you play more than 10 seconds of it.

Imagine if the podcast was closed down because we were sued by the Baja men

with their song, Who Let the Moonlight Out.

The court hears, in the famous case of Baja Men versus What Did You Do Yesterday, 2025, we are defended.

Our barrister is Ross Noble.

The opening, the opening, the bar men are dead by the time he finishes his opening address to the corps.

25 years later, I knew I'm where to get out of this one, lads.

He goes, Well, you got yourself into half a little pickle now, you boys.

RW says, Hello, Mars Bar, Max and David.

I know a lot of people listen to this podcast for anecdotes about 90s footballers, reviews of men's underpants, or gutter and railing repair tips.

One of my absolute favorite features, however, is when Max and David ask female guests questions as though it was their first time encountering a human woman.

I really appreciate how dedicated David and Max are to shining the light on the mysterious world of the ladies.

Some examples of these heart-hitting journalisting queries include: Are you sad when you have to take your makeup off for bed?

How do you get mascara off?

A chisel?

What's it like when you don't wear a bra?

Can you use your bra as a holder for other stuff?

And how do you solve a tortoise's constipation with a vibrator?

Classic girly conundrums.

I would say, he says, it makes me laugh every time.

Thank you guys for using your platform to raise awareness of what ladies do.

Love the pod.

Keep up the great work.

You'd imagine I would be guilty of these very basic questions, but I feel like most of those questions are questions that you, David, have asked.

I do remember asking.

about why don't you store more things in your bra and the mental image I had was beside my bed a bra hook with just the bra at night with, you know, wallets and keys sitting in it.

Oh, God, that sounds awful.

I mean, sounds terrible.

Fans of our

household DIY tips will enjoy that the other day I tore the sole off my very cool old AstroTurf Copa

football boots because we've been playing a lot of football here.

It just it went flappy, but it went flappy from the back, not the front, which is very unusual.

I'll give you some idea of the number of back heels that I've been doing.

Very unconventional.

So I got aroldite, our old friend,

a glue that is so dangerous.

It has to come in two tubes.

Oh, yeah.

And the warnings are ridiculous about do not get it near you.

Basically wear a spacesuit while you do it.

So I fixed the shoes.

I think I'm going to play football this afternoon and find out.

Okay.

But I've also got it on my leg and that is six days ago and it's still there all right are you glued to anything are you stuck to the a fence are you stuck not one of your railings i'm not stuck to anything more it's just like a tattoo that i didn't want it's just a clear crispy piece of glass on my leg i'd quite like just a little weekly update of when it comes off so we can know for the tape when you're glue when you're araldite free ella says uh dear generic man three at dod long time listener first time emailing in as I could not let this pass.

As an Edinburgh local, David's day last week was highly anticipated as I got excited to hear about his antics around Brunsfield, pitch, and putt, and which pubs he likes to go to.

However, his comment that he had to go home to change out of shorts before his show because he couldn't possibly do a live show in shorts was like a stab to the heart.

I'd gone along to his show just the week before, and what was he wearing?

Shorts.

I realize everything is show-biz, but does this also mean everything is a lie?

How do you plead?

Okay, I'll tell you what's going on here.

Uh-huh, what's going on, david so this is the most tropical edinburgh fringe that i've known in the 20 something odd fringes that i've been to like people come to my show i think just to beat the searing intensity of the scottish sun and yes i these episodes that one had been broadcast a few days before well obviously it was recorded before it was broadcast but I did indeed wear a pair of shorts to a gig then a few days later.

So, yeah, but people almost understood because it was so warm outside.

I got criticism because we did the Football Weekly Premier League predictions in a studio.

We normally just do it on Zoom.

And I was wearing shorts and I got told off wearing shorts because you told me not to wear shorts.

when doing a live show.

I slightly

felt like that wasn't fair, but I understand.

One more before they're just normal countries.

Colin says a new BOC category.

Dear David and Max, I'll cut to the chase.

There's no reason to think we need to wait 32 years to experience the BOC.

May I remind that you both have a multitude of live shows over the next few weeks?

I'll run the numbers.

DOD, 15 shows, 500 people.

I assume 50-50 able, unable to contribute to BOC.

3,750 deposits.

What did you do yesterday live?

Hat in the Empire.

1,268 people.

Assume 50-50, 634 deposits.

Guardian Football Weekly Live, 2,100 people.

99% able to contribute based on my previous experience of live shows in Dublin.

2,079 deposits.

Total, 6,463.

32 years times 365 equals 11,680 deposits.

If everyone could therefore contribute before and after each show,

assuming a second deposit has only 80% volume of the first, then we have 11,633.

The 47 shortfall could be made up by some previous show contributors currently hanging around Edinburgh and a few of them yourselves in Mars bar sorted.

Thanks, Colin.

We filled the bath, guys.

Oh my goodness.

I think it it does affect things if you say to each person who's come along before and after you know because some people say you know for example they say i know dad you don't listen to this podcast but i think you'll really like it

when they enter and then they send you into a booth it's just for a thing go with it dad it's fine i do however support it being abbreviated to boc yeah i think so um there's a boc reference in my day actually um which we'll get to shortly oh my goodness ladies and gentlemen i didn't i didn't do it

there's no bath in this flat uh anyway uh let's play there just normal countries

i am the one and only

what country could i be

i am the one and only

Where in the world could our listeners be?

So here we are.

Previous guesses.

If you remember, a while ago, Mars Paul said there are six countries with just one listen.

And so we've embarked on a global journey to find out what they are through your guesses.

And no one's got it right.

Wednesday's on, so hopefully someone gets all six.

Just imagine.

Just imagine.

Incorrect guesses so far.

Madagascar, Namibia, Costa Rica, Uganda, North Korea, Guyana, the Northern Marianas Islands, Bhutan, Brunei, Nepal, Eswatini, U.S.

Virgin Islands, and Equatorial Guinea.

13 weeks of wrong.

I know.

Don't you think?

So four months in, someone should have got a sniff.

And because clues have been banned by 50% of this presented duo,

are we getting any closer?

Four months in.

Are we getting any closer to one correct answer?

Eric and Cork.

Hi, Max, David and Marsba, loving their just normal countries challenge at the moment.

At the moment,

it's a long moment.

the logic for my guess is as follows it's tiny tucked away and i can totally imagine just one curious person stumbling across your podcast there for those reasons my guess is san marino looking forward to hearing if i'm right over to mars bar san marino

ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding

cork he's on a roll one listen in san marino that's amazing that surprises me i would have thought we we were bigger in San Marino.

Where is San Marino?

In Italy?

It's in Italy.

It's in Italy, yeah.

Is it on the border with Austria or somewhere like that?

No, I think it's landlocked San Marino within Italy.

Did they once score the first goal against England in a match?

Yes,

it was a back pass from Stuart Pierce that just he underhit.

It's near Rimini

and Ravenna.

and not a million miles from Florence.

But there we are, our first Eric, Eric stays on.

Yeah.

So exciting.

Congratulations, Eric.

This is good.

This is good podcasting now.

I take it all back.

Do you think this is a breakthrough we needed?

I think the sheer amazement, people will be amazed around the world now, going, wow.

Is Miles Black?

Is it still at one, San Marino?

Do you know?

Do we know?

I will check now.

I'd also like to know if in mentioning it,

I mean, it's difficult how that would provoke other residents of San Marino to listen to it, because if they'd listened to this, they would already be listening to it.

Do you know what I mean?

That's true.

We listen also one, it was quite interesting, you know, which episode is the one listen?

You know, the one person in San Marino who listened to once.

Is it just someone passing through?

I do wonder if this will lead to people guessing other kind of principalities.

Like Monaco, Monte Carlo will intrigue me.

I'd say we have more listens there.

Because we are such a luxury podcast.

I think we're enormous in Monaco.

How many listens in San Marino, please, Marsma?

Since we started this podcast, we have had a total of two listens to San Marino.

So it's increased by one since we started this quiz.

It's 100% increase.

So we've got to be happy with that.

Okay,

it's my day.

It's my day.

Hang on.

Congratulations to Eric in Cork.

So we need Eric now.

In order to keep this going, we have to hope he's listened to this episode.

If he doesn't guess,

this is the flaw of maybe the worst idea for a game ever.

I think it's really good now is if I don't want Mars Barter to message Eric, I want us to wait.

And if he doesn't, we're just looking, it is like this, it's looking for Eric too.

And we're just quite waiting for Eric and we're hoping that, you know, that he's still with us.

It's quite a high-risk strategy, given that this episode goes out on a Wednesday and we record next week's bonus the following morning.

So it's a very small window to consume and then reply.

Eric's got to be a big fan.

Eric's got to be a big fan.

And if there's nothing from Eric, we just have to, we have to front up.

We've got to be honest.

And could any of of our cork listeners who know anyone called eric yeah please text them on the afternoon

if you know anyone called eric in cork or if you're from cork if there's a local radio station in cork could we go on the breakfast show

on Thursday morning and say we desperately need all the Ericss to just get a country email this email address with a country because I think we'll accept a guest from someone else called Eric from Cork that's what I'd say okay fine if Roy Keene is listening to this the spiritual leader of Cork,

could you...

I mean,

there's a small chance it's Eric Cantonau, isn't it?

That Keene and Cantonau have moved to Cork.

Eric's an avid listener to this, and he has guests, Sad Murrito.

In which case, you're still in play.

You're still in play, Eric Cantonau.

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Right.

Any questions for me, David?

I have one question.

Max Rushton, what did you do yesterday?

Okay, so let's begin at 5 a.m.

There's movement.

Okay, there's a movement.

Everyone's awake, but there's, we're not officially awake.

I'm definitely horizontal until 6, which is pretty good.

Yeah.

Okay.

And now at 6 a.m., I'm in the day bed.

Willie now recently has been put in a cot he's doing very well great okay um

but by this point between five and six he'd gone into mama dada bed with mama so i'm alone in the day bed this is a wonderful place to be to be alone is the dream right and so i'm alone i am beckoned i'm required to take some of the load is the direct quote that i'm sad but i believe it is my duty to take some of the load.

So the family are all, there's me, there's Jamie, there's Ian, that's willie we're all lying on the bed uh ian jumps off to play some hot wheels uh jamie announces she wants a shower fine and the shower to be clear is is a real it's like an oasis of calm for any if you're in the shower you know you could sometimes i bring willie and sort of lie him on the bath mat but really you close the door jamie is alone and she shower time is big for jamie interruption is this the bathroom that is filled with uh soccer am gloriers memorabilia No, no, no.

We're in that, my flat is, we're not in my flat.

Oh, we've moved.

No, no, no.

We've been here.

We've been in London Fields for a while.

We were only in my flat for about three days and it's rented out.

So that's why we're here.

I have a tricky one of those today because I'm in a rented property for a huge sum of money

with Nish and Celia and various alumni of this podcast.

And I bought a commemorative Stephen Roach winning the 1987 Tour de France t-shirt on eBay.

Of course you did.

And had it sent to this address.

And after much to-ing and froing, it never arrived.

The courier has said they've left it with flat two in this building.

So I have the situation where flat two

has it, but has made no effort to reach out to me.

Okay.

You know what I mean?

So you've got to go down to flat two.

So I'm going to play this fool character, which is just like, oh, thank you so much, brackets, for not telling me that you had this cool 1987 Giro D'Atalia commemorative t-shirt.

What if you want, they answer the door and they're wearing it?

I point to the aral dite on my legs and I say, this is bulletproof.

Let's rumble.

Let's go.

Okay, so Jamie's in the shower.

She's in a happy place, right?

I'm looking after the kids.

Great bedroom.

Willie needs a nappy change, but that's fine.

You just whip it off, put a new one on.

But I have got a bit of a cold, so I didn't notice they'd done a massive shit.

And it's not one that that has been the the nappy sometimes does its job and sometimes it doesn't and this one is up the back it's it's on the carpet it's on his clothes it's on my hands ian's getting involved i'm like get ian get away from this situation we don't need you here this is the bomb disposal unit you're not useful in this situation he's driving the heart wheels through us exactly you set the loop the loop to land in the feces

so it's a really tricky situation because as you you you've got to take the kind of onesie off Willie But as you do stretch over his head, you're basically smearing it up his back and as you're smearing up his back and then he goes down on the

I should have laid a towel out, but I wasn't I didn't think it was a number two.

I just thought it was just a you know whip it off whip it on cut long story short Jamie's beautiful shower was a pretty long story in a told right

so so then and Jamie really likes the shower and I like to let her just enjoy it.

I never go you know have you done in there which is generally what happens as soon as I go into the toilet.

I arrive holding just a shit-smeared baby because I've got to put it somewhere and the shower is a good place for it to go.

Right.

So then we put Willie in a toughware box.

We deal with the situation.

Sorry, could you just get a baby in this situation and just reverse it, put the water on in the shower

and reverse the baby in and have the waters simply just clean?

Yeah, I mean, a bit of it needs some rubbing, but Jamie does what we're doing, you know.

So, Jamie's still having her warm shower, it's just there's a baby in a Tupperware box in front of her, and we're both rubbing away, rubbing away.

So, then I think, Max, I think I'd like that.

I think I'd love to be lifted butt first.

I see, yeah.

Oh, yeah,

Willie, you don't want to be one of the people doing it.

No, no, no, and let me say, I like you, David, but if you ever find you in the situation, I'm not lifting you into a giant Duppelware box with my bare hands to rub your own poo off your back.

I'm a stone man.

We would need some big boys to lift me.

We need Osman.

Who's another

Daro Brian?

We need Osman and Joe Wilkinson.

They don't realize the job.

That's a new reality show on Channel 5.

Isn't it?

Push the boat out for Dara.

He's front.

And then Osno, Osman, I suppose.

It's tricky that.

I mean, it's well cast, isn't it?

Okay, great.

Okay, so that's good.

Jamie deals then with Willie.

I deal with the carpet.

Just in case, David, who we're renting this flat from, I sort of exaggerated how much is on the carpet.

It's my huge amount.

I've got the fairy liquid in there.

I mean, I'm having a good old go.

Looks good as new.

We're all downstairs.

There's calm.

Both Jamie and I have what is known as a holding yogurt because we're going to go out for breakfast.

But it might be a while away because, you know, wrangling the kids takes a while.

So you just have a little holding yogurt

just to self-you know, keep the wall from the door.

I get my hemp and flax seeds in there and in a you know bit of honey and it's it's nice and i'm watching match of the day okay because i've got work data i need to take notes on match of the day ian is watching just in time and sorry interruption for some of our listeners this is a significant cultural moment because former alumnus is alumnus the singular one of the podcast gary lineker this is the first match of the day that he hasn't hosted yeah for 25 years once again everything is showbiz.

Everything is showbiz.

It's Mark Chapman hosting.

He's had a new buzz cut

and

I prefer him with slightly longer hair, but he's a brilliant broadcaster, so it's okay.

Ian is watching just in time, but we've pressed a button, which means the TV doesn't work, but the projector does.

So he's basically, even though, yeah, our kid's watching too much TV, he's now watching YouTube cartoons on a cinema screen.

That's what's happening.

And Willie, who's too young to look at screens, don't show screens to anyone under like two and a a half or something.

He is just transfixed.

And, you know, it's difficult because we've got things to do.

We all get ready.

We all get dressed.

I cycle Ian on my one bike with its new thick tire because it got a puncture on the way home from the pub on Wednesday night.

Great.

To E5 Bake House.

It's a nice cafe.

And we get black coffees.

I have scrambled eggs.

We play Animal Bingo.

which is you each have a card with some animals on it and you put the you know the cards upside down and you go walrus who's got the walrus it's yeah you know jamie's it's an idyllic it's an idyllic scene um

what's the most obscure animal walrus is pretty obscure i'm impressed by i think the porcupine is pretty wow you're not encountering one of those irl no not in not in london fields a lot you see some foxes here some urban foxes and there's a lot of urban fox poo around yeah uh which you know that you know you wheel that on the pram and then you wheel the pram inside i'm just david in case you're listening we we thoroughly clean the pram before we bring it into your lovely rental flat.

Have you had any more sightings of James Acast or?

No,

it's still too nil to Jamie at this

because I want to bump into him and say, look, we've got a live show.

Could you just do 10 seconds?

You know, you're nervous about, you know, my ideas.

You know, I think he would, you know, I've got a role for him and I think it could be good for him.

Now, at some point, Jamie and I are chatting away and we're having a nice time, but generally the conversation always comes around to, I wish I could go to work and just, you know, sit in a radio studio and just chat some shit and you can look after the kids.

And I go, I know, I understand.

There's nothing I can do.

And I can't remember why I said I was, you know, I was good company at some point.

I said, I was good.

And she said, great quote, I think people with podcasts think they're good company was a line that she said.

It was at this point I announced that it was my yesterday.

And she was like, oh, fuck fuck's sake.

So do you think she thinks that you use up all your bon homie or whatever that word is in the podcast and then you're just

doing the podcast.

I never just sigh and sit in silence for five minutes.

That is true.

And occasionally in real life, I do.

I try not to do it too much, but you know, that does occasionally happen in real life.

Okay, so then I cycle Ian to Normal Park, which is one of the plaguemans in London Field.

It's not very far.

Jay has 20 minutes to herself.

So I push both the kids on swings.

Great.

Willie's learning the swing.

Ian's pretty good at it, but he's got a three-year head start so that's fair uh ian attempts quite a difficult climbing frame which i can't really help him with because i'm holding willie so you know that's tricky i then cycle the talk sport uh it is the warm-up with max trushner and barry glen denning i like to mainly host shows with uh genial irishmen and barry fulfills that role very well we've been doing that show for i think 13 years yeah now the show is 11 till one but it's been moved to 11 till 1 30 of as of last year year, maybe.

So we spend most of the show complaining about having to do the last half hour and occasionally people texting going, I don't often listen to radio shows where people complain about being at work to do that.

We're trying to we'll get into the last half hour of the show soon.

Anyway, before I get there, I go into a little cafe.

Absolute, this is vintage one for the purists Cortado moment.

So I ask for a Cortado here, right?

which is a sh which is what I want, a very short flat white.

And I say, I want it really short, please.

And the person I'm ordering it from says, absolutely, really short that's great but she's not making the coffee so when the coffee arrives it's basically a full flat white and i don't just take it and fume i say i'm really really sorry i asked for a small much smaller than that she is looks she looks like i've just killed her family she's she doesn't have shares in this cafe yeah but it matters to me so she makes me one in a tiny dill cup it's perfect i say thank you i'm so effusive with thanks for getting what i asked for but she literally doesn't want to give me the time of day she just wants me to get out of there yeah not a listener not a listener definitely not a listener so obviously i went and gave them five stars on google i i didn't actually i gave a talk sport i say hello to everyone barry's there he tells me about his week he had quite a thursday that we just can't go into um but we laughed that it would make an extraordinary start to a radio show great but i don't think there's any way of me getting i'll tell you afterwards and if anyone sees me i'll tell you the story uh it's my ninth show in a row but i'm absolutely flying ninth as in ninth day in a row in a row because i did the afternoon show all week so i do saturday sunday and i've done the one till four all week as well as, you know, other podcast-y stuff.

Now, Charlie Baker, friend of the podcast, comes in because he's now doing Virgin Radio 2 till 6.

And he has this idea, oh, there's one moment I really liked from the show, a text.

Text has just had a baby, much like the Shipleys.

And I'm introducing my son, my two-week old to TalkSport for the first time.

And he sort of sees our show as a kind of, it's a bit like an allergen test for a baby.

You have to give them a tiny bit of peanut on their lip.

You know, before you go full talk sport, you let them have like five minutes of me.

They might go into anaphylactic shock in which case the rest of the station is not for them so it's it's nice that we we're giving a listener their first you know their first experience of talk sport the show is as you expect but charlie's come comes in and he's great and i do the saturday show with him but he's got he's going to be in every week at one o'clock in the half hour that we don't want but we're like between the three of us we can come up with a feature and he came up with an idea for a show yeah a radio feature called squeaky bum time

the squeaky bum time to explain to people who may not know premiership football is generally used to describe the last few minutes or maybe injury time in a match.

I think Sir Alex Ferguson was the first to refer to it as

the end of the season.

You know, it's really coming up to the end of the season, but it ain't a game, yeah, if it's a tight game.

Anyway, his feature is this.

And I'm just like...

This casts me in a bad light, I think, because a lot of this podcast is sort of around the bottom area.

And I don't think my broadcasting career up to this point has been that.

His idea for a radio quiz is

somebody gets a Premier League footballer to record a fart, and then we have to spend the season guessing who's done it.

So we spend 10 minutes discussing if this is a good idea or not.

And actually, how on earth would you do it?

What's the process of going,

Virgil Van Dijk?

Thanks for your time.

Would you mind just one more thing?

Who are we going to?

Because we can't be us doing it.

Me, Barry, we have to guess, don't we?

Anyway,

I think it's a great idea for a radio feature, but I just can't quite.

Nina in Emsworth texts in to say, please stop talking about this.

You're better than this.

Yeah.

You'd have a difficulty as well, in that, you know, if you just got a premiership footballer to burp, they might do that.

But you'd have to feed them a bowl of chili or something first.

Yeah, yeah.

They're not ready.

You have to wait for an hour, like a doping test.

Yeah.

And then somebody says it was like the mystery voice.

You need three, don't you?

You know.

Anyway, 1:30, I cycle home.

Jamie's not had a dream morning with the kids.

It's fair to say.

So I get them both.

She goes out.

I collect picnic stuff, chairs.

She's made of fruit salads.

We've got crisps and dip and hummus.

Ian's on his balance bike.

Got Willie and the carrier.

I'm pushing a pram full of stuff.

We set up for a picnic.

Who's coming?

Great.

Matt, Rachel, their kids, Polly and Isaac, all pod listeners.

All pod listeners.

Matt says the kids don't listen to Midweek Mayhem, which he's pleased about because of BOC.

Rachel asks what BOC is.

Matt just palms it off.

We don't need their eyes at Bali to know what BOC is.

I love the idea that one of your children asks to look at a screen, but unfortunately now it's moved on from phone or iPad and just wants the projector taken to the park.

It's the full screen put up.

Ellie and Matt are coming as well with their daughter and Ian really gets on with their daughter and that's

very exciting.

They announced it's my yesterday.

they're very ellie is very excited she's a bit behind but she says she doesn't like listening to this while i'm in the country because she feels she can just talk to me but when i'm in australia she likes to find out what's going on these are my friends from school yeah and the big news is that matt uh met friend of the podcast alex horn on his holiday to costa rica wow and uh Matt's son went for lunch with the horns because I think his son plays football with Matt's son.

Interesting.

Small world.

Everything is showbiz.

But they play a guessing game.

Matt says, you're no longer the most famous person in my phone.

Who is it?

And I get it pretty quickly, as it goes.

Huh.

Who...

Do you want me to try and guess?

No, it's Alex Horne.

Oh, of course.

Sorry, yes.

Yeah, it's an easy quiz for you.

I've just told you the answers.

I'm not

in easy quizzes.

And it's really fun.

Ian falls off his bike on a skiddy turn, a bit like a speedway turn.

He's sad about that.

I take Willie for a nap.

I buy four cans of Peroni, feels right.

And a bottle of San Pellegrino for Jamie.

One for each of the kids.

Yeah, for each of the kids.

And so I take Willie for a nap.

While I'm away, Ian falls off his bike two more times and slips on the football, but he's having a good time.

Oh, no.

Jamie and I swap.

She takes Willie for the next, it's a half-hour nap for the next 15 minutes.

But look, we're playing catch.

We're playing football.

We're listening to Matt's cool music.

It's pretty idyllic.

It's a beautiful day.

Ian has learned bike tricks.

I sent you the video.

He's learning kind of cool bike tricks

that he hasn't quite got around, but it's a little bit Pete Townsend from the Who.

He's like his bike on the floor, like smashing it to pieces.

It's great stuff.

Yeah, it does seem like, would he have seen Freestyle BMX somewhere?

Because he's holding the handlebars and sort of swizzling the whole bike around.

Well, I think Isaac has taught him a lot of these tricks in the afternoon because Isaac's 12.

So, you know, that's where he's learned it from.

But it's great.

We're, you know, we're having a good time.

Catches.

What a game.

Catches.

Yeah.

You know, fun for all the family.

We could take that out of Dragon's Den catch.

Let's see if we can pound it.

There is a point, Matt Rach family were playing a game when they were on holiday and it's sort of a categories game.

And it was like, can you name 10 of these?

Or like, it's a bit like Family Fortune, I guess.

And the kiss was, can you name 10 dating apps?

And they were like, okay, can we name 10 dating apps?

So we're trying to name 10 dating apps.

No.

Jamie said, so we're going, you know, Tinder,

Tinder, Hinge, Binge, Bumble, Binges, and what are they?

Yeah, Bumble.

Binge is a great name for one.

You just, you're up for it.

You don't get who it is.

You just, you just, you just want to go and go and go.

It's like grinder, but even more so.

Anyway, someone says grinder.

And then Ian turns around, Ian, three and a half, says, what's grinder?

So Jamie does a great, sort of very calm answer to what grinder is to Ian, but it was just a funny question.

And here I had a question for

Polly and Isaac specifically, but for Matt and Rachel as well.

When I was a kid, when I was about 12, the friends of my parents that I liked the best were the ones that just handed me a £20 note.

You know, there were occasionally ones like that.

What?

Not often.

I think Uncle Paul would just give me £10 whenever I saw him.

I didn't see him very often.

So I see these guys probably once a year.

I was positing the question, to which the kids are very into it, but to Matt mainly was, would it be weird?

Because it feels weird to me if every time I was to see my friend's kids who are about that age, you know, 12 and upwards, if I was to just give them 20 pounds, they would think I was the best one of all.

They would just, because you would, you'd be like, do you remember Max?

He gave me cat.

Every time we saw him, he gave me 20 quid.

What a guy.

Yeah.

But what are the ethics they matt and race seemed to think it was sort of probably okay but a bit odd

the conclusion was it was a bit odd because i'm not related to them like relations yes but friends no but i don't see my friends kids very often so i'm not going to be i'm not going to be like impoverished by if i move back to the uk i wouldn't yeah but it's rare fun uncle max he just always gave us 20 quid you remember that in years to come you're creating your own legacy there

to what end though are you going to make them do a crime for you when they're 21 no no absolutely is no questions asked this is a one-way transaction they can do what they like with it they can buy sweets i need you boys to go into talks boy and i need you to take out the boss

oh hang on he listens to this podcast so little let's say we have no interest uh just to be clear liam we have no interest in bumping you off

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There was John, a friend of my parents.

He had a lovely thing when he came over for dinner with his wife, which was,

I mean, the problem is, this is the change era where change, because of inflation, change was a lot of money.

And he would reach into his pocket and he would just hand me a fist of coins.

Yeah, really good.

And while they were all having some boring dinner in the kitchen, I do little stacks.

Yeah.

Stacking coins is still,

you know,

you only need to do it once every two years now because I get so few coins.

But I used to love, I always had towers of five Ps.

I mean, at some point, I guess kids will just have a tappy-tappy machine.

But at this stage.

Card reader.

I'd lovely to see you.

Beep.

I'll be 20 pounds, please.

So, so anyway, that was my sort of ethical question.

What am I trying to get out of it?

I'm trying to be, you know, 20 years' time.

They go, oh, yeah.

Do you remember Uncle May always gave us 20 quid?

Okay, so the picnic in it is really love.

Have a lovely time.

We're probably getting around six.

So then it's sort of action stations.

We give Willie a bath and sink, which is a better place to put him than the bath because he can't really, he can, he's just getting good at sitting, but he's not, he's not nailing it every time.

So if he's in the bath and he falls backwards, you know, that is a problem.

But here, you can, you can have him in the sink, and if he falls either way, he gets caught by the side of the sink, but not in a kind of painful way.

I'd like that too.

So we need someone to make a giant sink.

Richard Osman and Joe Will Green are making a giant sink.

And I am lowered into it.

Ian has his second meal of peanut butter on toast.

I don't know how, I think nutritionists don't say two out of your three kids' meals should be peanut butter and toast, but like...

Seems good.

Seems like fairly healthy.

I mean, let's face it, I'd love that.

Absolutely delicious.

I then take Willie up to bed.

Yeah.

And

he's in the cot.

I think Jamie feeds him downstairs.

It must be 6, 6.30 now.

And actually goes down pretty quickly.

This is a real game changer.

I mean,

this is unbelievable that Jamie doesn't have to feed him and like hold him for hours and lie in bed going, what am I doing in a dark room?

I'm there.

It's great.

It's down.

Ian is now in the bath and Jamie says, oh, can you do Ian's bedtime?

And it's like, I've been stabbed in the eyes because I was like, I was like, I've done Willie.

I've got to go downstairs.

I've got some work to do.

But, you know, she did have him for like hours this morning.

And so I'm like, yeah, of course.

I say, yeah, of course.

But in my mind, I think, oh,

shitty.

I really just wanted to sit on the sofa.

When you say I have some work to do, it's literally I have to go and read about how many teaspoons it would take to fill a BOC.

No, that is, I mean, that is part of my homework.

You're not wrong.

But don't, David, Jamie, listen to this.

Don't belittle what this is, right?

This is, you know, this is real work.

So anyway, Ian is fine.

He's pretty tired.

He'd rather mum and does bedtime.

He tries a few of the tricks.

I'm hungry.

I'm thirsty.

I get him some water, but I say, you know, breakfast is the next meal, mate.

You know, when a three and a half, I've said this to you before, but when they're three and a half years saying, I'm hungry, you feel a bit bad.

But he's had a lot of peanut butter a minute ago.

He's not hungry.

He doesn't want a story.

We're on Captain Underpants at the moment, but sometimes he wants all of Captain Underpants.

It's 120 pages.

So like, in a way, naught pages is better.

And then he sort of moans a bit.

Then he wants to take a digger to bed.

But then he just collapses.

Do you know what this reminds me of uh every ian bedtime reminds me of do you know in the world cup in say a semi-final where a player is being replaced on about 86 minutes yeah and he hugs everyone he undoes his laces and does them back up again every possible trick he shakes the ref's hand

that is absolutely right exactly that so that's what's happening uh then like he's we've we've put blackout blinds on his window, just in case David is listening.

We're not glued them.

It's okay.

They'll all come on.

But then he rips that open.

He can see it's still light outside.

That's a problem.

I'm like, it gets light in this.

It's fine.

Eventually, I sort of get him into a position where hopefully he'll fall asleep.

And then he falls asleep.

And then obviously I fall asleep.

So then Jamie gets me 15 minutes later.

She has made sort of, we had meatballs the day before.

She's made like a meatball sub for dinner.

It's absolutely great.

I've eaten a lot of hummus and crap.

I probably don't need it, but I I really love it.

And it's got roasted tomatoes and manchego and a bit of salad.

And it's a really big baguette.

Like, it's hard.

Like, as you eat it, it's like it's falling out of the bottom.

And you go, that's it.

So then the projector's down, but there's nothing on because we just haven't lifted it up yet.

And we've just finished Death in Paradise the day before, the latest season.

It's actually really quite gritty this season.

It's good.

Don Gile is a great, it's a great, yeah, it's a really good series.

I recommend it.

I know you're laughing, but it's good stuff.

Then I've got a match of the day on.

I've got the highlights of the afternoon's games on.

I think I'm watching Man United Arsenal back pretty much in its entirety, which wasn't that interesting.

Jamie is asking me questions about next week.

So I'm pausing and taking a headphone out and sort of...

probably not being as interested in the diary meeting because

I've got to get this done.

I'm tired.

So we have a mixture of diary meeting.

So it's sort of aware of what's happening this week.

I've finished watching that.

I do the script for Football Weekly.

Then I get into the emails that we've read on this podcast today.

So i put them in some sort of order i like the baby being born

yeah lovely then it must be bedtime i'm trying to think where i go to bed i think actually i get into bed with jamie and this might be the first time that it's just the two of us in bed without a baby since willie was born wow and so maybe that's a moment and then willie wakes up so then i go into that room and i sort of start you know i'm pacifying him i'm in that room there is someone having a very loud club night somewhere and it's just too loud i do go onto the hackney website to see how to report noise but when you have to give your name and number i can't be bothered i just think someone near because it's on the other side of the fields but we can hear it i'm just thinking please somebody else must be pissed off with this yeah but and then eventually i i collapse before it goes off so that's fine and that's probably the end of the that's the end of the day I know she sometimes listens to this, but I would just like to show my appreciation for JB.

She's doing an amazing job, like an unbelievable job.

Like, I mean, it's not that she's the power behind the throne.

You know, it's not like a Melania Trump sort of vibe, but just to say thank you to Jamie,

so that we get to do these podcasts and he gets to read his emails about come

and we can make people happy.

And sometimes people think by having people like John Robbins, one of our forthcoming guests, I'm very excited about as well.

Another episode we've recently

recorded.

Thank you, Jamie.

Thank you, Max.

Thank you, Jamie.

Thank you, David.

Just before we finish, David, there's a England footballer and a comedian that you need to guess.

I'm going to say Peter Beardsley and

Peter Kay.

Neither of them are walking around Teddington.

Let's be real, David.

Oh, sorry.

Imagine Day where you saw Peter Beardsley and Peter Kay.

This is completely insane.

Okay, fine.

We're going to have to.

Mars Barz Ladigas.

No, you're not allowed another guest.

Mars Barz Ladogus.

I'm going to have Milton Jones and Paul Marson.

In many ways, I feel like that's the best guesses we've had so far.

The clues are there.

The clues aren't there.

I wonder if there's ever been any correspondence about this slot.

I would say no, because.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Let me read it.

I've got the correspondence from this slot.

It was from last week's What Did I Do Yesterday?

Fergus writes, Max is the Andy Kaufman of Light Entertainment Quizzing.

This is revealed by his glee at the idea of being the only person who knows whether the answers to his footballer comedian double-sighting quiz are correct.

What did he do yesterday?

It's just one big subversive quiz.

And only Max knows the scoring answer to questions like, how did you eat the wagon wheel?

I'm certain his shed is full of score sheets ranking every guest pinned to a league table, inching towards a semi-final no one will see.

And the next comment is from Gavin, who says, Max, I don't make the rules.

You literally created the comedian footballer game.

You have full control of the rules.

Sounds like people are really enjoying it.

Ah, it doesn't.

but sad marino we will always have sad marino we'll always have sad marino everything is showbiz thank you david if you'd like to get in touch with the podcast this is how

To get in touch with the show, you can email us at what did you do yesterday pod at gmail.com.

Follow us on Instagram at yesterday pod.

And please subscribe and leave a review if you liked it on your preferred podcast platform.

And if you didn't, please don't.

And we do love you getting in touch because really you make this certainly the midweek episodes.

You don't really have much to do with the other ones, but you make this one.

So keep those emails coming, please.

Thank you, David.

Thanks, Max.

Hello, Max Rushdom here.

You might remember me from Series 9, Episode 2 of Parenting Hell.

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