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Rules and restrictions apply.

Podcasts, there are millions of them.

Some might say too many.

I have one already.

I don't have any because there are enough.

Politics, business, sport, you name it.

There's a podcast about it, and they all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day.

But nobody is covering the most important topic of all.

Why is that?

Are they scared?

Too afraid of being censored by the man?

Possibly, but not us we're here to ask the only question that matters we'll try and say it at the same time max what did you do yesterday what did you do yesterday what did you do yesterday that's it all we're interested in is what the guest got up to yesterday nothing more day before yesterday max nope the greatest and most interesting day of your life unless it was yesterday we don't want to know about it I'm Max Rushton and I'm David O'Daherty.

Welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday?

Hello, welcome to Midweek Mayhem.

It is a What Did You Do Yesterday production hosted by Max Rushton and David O'Doherty.

Welcome, David.

And listening from downstairs is Max's neighbor, Sylvia.

And Sylvia, of course.

Although I'm two floors above Sylvia and 10.13 a.m.

time of recording, no messages since the last one saying, blessed day to you.

May all your dreams come true.

And could you also shut the fuck up?

Now, I've been checking, David.

There are still a few seats in the upper circle.

I know it's two miles away from where we'll be.

It'll be like being at the darts, being like in the back row of Wembley, your top tier, watching a fight, but you'll still be in the room.

Yeah, hatneempire.co.uk, scroll down to what's on 10th of September.

Don't accidentally book another show.

Not many tickets left, David.

We should come up with some ideas for the show that you don't think are completely ridiculous.

I have some good ideas, certainly.

Okay, good i mean it's just do we need another one of max's ideas which is essentially an early music medieval version of dancing in the moonlight where we hire an orchestra of people who play early stringed instruments

are there enough lutes in east london that's all i need to know i can't actually find my clarinet i'm gonna have to go back to my flat but it's probably underneath a lot of pieces of paper about my mortgage that they need but i just don't know where they are do Johnson, feedback, David.

Yes, I live for the feedback.

We begin with Emma Doran's breakfast.

Where else could we be?

Nama Fekila says, I often have the misfortune of listening to the most unappetizing bits of this podcast while I'm eating breakfast.

Never, and I mean not even the niche episode never, has this choice been more regrettable than listening to Emma describe her high-performance tuna eggy breakfast.

Skick emoji, crying with laughter emoji.

It was to salvage a day from there is something else, I think.

Imagine how you'd feel after that breakfast, though.

You might feel incredible.

Because I don't think it was sitting on bread either.

You got red onion.

You've got some sort of egg thing.

I mean, tuna, I don't necessarily love a tin of tuna.

No.

Even when you get the one that says no drain, I don't like a thing that doesn't need to be drained or needs to be drained.

I mean, really, there's no point having anything else near the tuna, is it?

If we're really honest it's not like anything is going to cover the other things are just their filler aren't they they're filler for the tuna so you're beginning your day you've got the remnants of vape juice in your mouth and then you whack tuna egg and red onion in there it's amazing anyone went near her frankly for 24 hours but thank you ever so much this is from brian this is great hi max david and marsbar i just wanted you to know that i stood on the stage at a small improv theater in pennsylvania on wednesday night my My scene partner started the scene with a British accent.

I paused, took a deep breath, and introduced my character.

Hello, I am Lord Percy of Dingbat.

Thank you forever, Max.

Everything is showbiz from Brian.

I'm just so sad I wasn't there.

I would have flown to Pennsylvania.

I'd have said to Jamie, I'm sorry.

I know you've got the kids.

I know I might have to go to the World Cup for six weeks next year and leave you on your own with this feral mess that we have created.

But I must to Pennsylvania because Brian is making the debut of Lord Percy of Dingbat.

I must see it in action.

Wow, it's really the sign of a great improviser that you don't take issue with the fact that he has taken your character.

You've effectively, yes, anded control of Lord Percy of Dingbat.

And I wonder where he took the character.

Yeah, I mean, I think if you are, as I am, you know, basically a creator,

you have to understand you have no real control over your creations

and to take that to its largest extent when you get into the fourth hour of either the ross noble or the john robbins episode one of my creations a joint creation with jamie who we will call ian he arrives in the podcast because I have no control over him.

So he becomes a third co-host for the longer episodes of this podcast.

Can you reveal what he did while sitting on your lap then during the episode?

I think he needed a Wii, but wasn't, hadn't, because he's pretty good actually at Wii's, but that one went on to the shorts.

But I'm nervous about Jamie knowing because the point is she was having to solo parent with two kids.

No, okay, so

no, no, it's okay.

Most of our communication comes through this podcast right now.

So I didn't let her know that yesterday because she'd be like, well, if you just finished that episode, I can't just, you know, that's not how this podcast works.

So I hadn't.

So yes, for half an hour of John Robbins, Ian was sitting on me and we had shared his urine.

That's fine.

And Ian, when you get older and listen to this, we don't put our kids on social media because I think it's really important, but there's a disconnect here.

I think it's okay.

I think it's okay.

Just to let Ian know, like when he's having like, you know, real big problems, you know, at school and things when we're doing this in sort of 14 years time.

Yeah.

I won't go into detail on those.

I think these are okay.

On bum bags and parrots, David.

Bum bags and parrots.

Yeah, Claire, Tim, and Bert the Parrot, right.

Hi, DOD and Max Rushton.

I was excited to learn from a previous pod episode that Emma Doran wears a bum bag around the house in lieu of adequate pockets in her clothing.

This is an activity I also share.

However, the main purpose of my bum bag is as a receptacle for the tissues which I have used to blow my nose.

I then reuse the tissues to wipe up the parrot poo when my parrot poos on the floor.

I I estimate that his average poos per hour pph is two

and therefore he will produce roughly 28 poos per day ppd.

Well, the majority of these will land on various poo stations which I've placed strategically throughout the flat in areas where the pooing incidence is highest.

This morning I made an unfortunate error in the parrot's routine.

Normally he'll be placed atop the shower screen so that he can deposit his overnight poo bomb into the bath.

This is an accumulation of all the poo he's stored up overnight.

However, today he remained on my shoulder, and thus the poo bomb was released down my back and onto the bum bag, which ironically contained the tissues which I then used to wipe up the poo.

Apologies that this message is steering the podcast back into the realms of the scatological.

And we also have to remember that everything is showbiz.

Thank you for everything you do.

Your podcast is the highlight of my week.

Smiley face.

Claire Tim and Burt the Parrot.

I can't believe I'm the only person who's just listened to that and not thought, with him on the shower screen, how many years it would take him to fill the bath

with parrot poo

there'll be some scientists listening who will let us know i had a budgie when i was little sorry david are you imagining a competition so you have two baths this is hosted by you know dale winton and uh rest in peace yes

two baths one is a you

one is a parrot

and it's let's see who fills the bath we're 84 years in and we're still going strong.

Sorry, David.

People are like, when Eurosport are really struggling to show stuff at the moment.

We should never have started Eurosport 2.

We knew it was a mistake.

It's all right, guys.

Did you ever have a budgie?

Did you ever have a budgie?

A flying bird.

We had a budgie for a while.

Errol.

His poos were more like little ball bearings, but I can imagine an actual parrot does drop more of a classic seagull type sludge.

Did you call him Errol Flynn?

Errol Flynn?

I think he was called Errol.

He was my sister's.

I mean, how many times has this come up on the podcast?

There is one way to find out, and that is everythingatshobiz.com.

I think Errol was one of Roland Ratt's sidekicks.

There was Kevin the gerbil.

Yeah.

I think there was a third one.

There was Reggie?

I presume it was a gerbil, but might have been another kind of, you know, what family are they?

The rodent family.

Yeah.

Reggie just go,

if I remember correctly.

Seems fitting.

But I can't be sure.

Once again, I can't be positive.

If you come here for the real facts, the real dotting the I's, crossing the T's of the Roland Rat family, I'm afraid we're going to disappoint you.

Continue with the feedback.

Marsbar says, couple of tone lowerers here.

The parrot was just a sort of gateway into really lowering the tone.

So our apologies.

Robbie says, I'm Max David and producer Miles Bar.

I think we were all humbled to learn the extent of the time commitment that would be required to complete what I'll call the bathtub project.

Oh, no.

In the hope that this email doesn't get sent appropriately enough to your junk folder.

But I'm concerned that the listener writing in and or chat GPT missed an important detail.

It may be true that 93, the years, times 365.25, the days, separate five milliliter, one UK teaspoon servings would fill a bathtub.

That unfortunately doesn't mean that even someone with the physical prowess to achieve that would be able to fill the bathtub in 93 years.

96 to 98% of semen is water.

So over time, unfortunately, the vast majority of the goods would evaporate.

Horror stories about the water consumption of Chat GPT and other AI systems mean that I'm reluctant to put further work on this.

But even taking the lower water content estimate, by my count, it would actually take more like 2,325 years to fill a modern era bathtub.

In other words, to be finishing up around now, someone would have had to start in the year 300 BC.

Nebuchadnezzar, who was it, Nero, would have had to have done it.

Out of curiosity, I looked up what was happening on that particular yesteryear, according to Wikipedia events.

Indeed, the capture after the Battle of Ipsus of King Phirus, best remembered today for inspiring the term Phyrric victory, i.e.

an achievement that takes such a devastating tone on a person.

It's tantamount to defeat.

Once again, the podcast might be the center of the known universe.

I love the podcast more, myself less, with each new episode.

I can't wait for the live show in September.

Best wishes, Robbie.

I didn't think of the influence of the experiment on the Greeks generally.

And you know, that awful moment where they open the wooden horse of Troy and it just starts to ooze out

and fills Troy.

We're defeated.

We're defeated.

They change it in the textbooks for kids, don't they?

Because they can't know the truth.

Mike takes us further into the gutter, if that were possible.

Hi, David, Max, and Marsba.

I know all three of you are in a long, happy relationship, so you probably have no idea who Bonnie Blue is by name alone.

She is an OnlyFans creator who gained notoriety this year when she attempted to have sex with over a thousand men in 12 hours.

No judgment, we've all got mortgages and bills to pay.

And with our apologies to Cleo and the other nine-year-olds listening and their parents, a documentary of this was literally on channel 4 this past week if you wanted to do research.

Anyway, the reason for this email is she has announced her latest stunt and I can't help but feel she's been inspired by the pod.

Oh God.

She's planning to have a big bath in fan donated.

I want to be bathing in all your fluids, she announces.

Clearly she's seen around the issue of one person taking 90 years to fill it by themselves.

By my basic math, she only needs 40,000 donations to fill the thing.

The problem she could encounter is that if all of her 1 million social media followers supply one donation, she'll have 5,000 liters of the stuff to give max a really rich picture this would fill nearly five of his subarus

her episode of what did you yesterday might have to go out after the watershed

time did you wake up bonnie an alarm do you have an alarm or just naturally

fair enough for that person who worked out the internal cubic capacity of a subaru as well and that's the thought that i will take from that more than anything else a richard in rumbling bridge fortunately

Champagne Fountains hors d'oeuvres by the platter black tie live band the lot.

Right before the final, inevitable conclusion, the live band blasts out a number of covers, finishing with none other than King Harvest's finest work, later excellently covered by Eastbourne's top loader.

You guessed it, dancing in the moonlight.

While this may have gone unnoticed by most, the clash of what did you do yesterday topics had me flawed.

I could only imagine Max's cheeky face atop the man-mountain Jack Reacher for the remainder of the episode.

I imagined him fighting off the baddies, but having his head turned at a crucial point when hearing the strains of that oh-so-memorable classic.

Thanks for ruining an otherwise passable action series, although I blame myself for rapidly scithing through both the Reacherverse and the Wattpod back catalogue in recent weeks.

Whilst writing this, I looked up the Wikipedia page for the song, and the CDB side was called Jack, do the connections ever stop?

Wow.

Keep up the annoyingly consistent podcasting.

Yours, Richard, from Rumbling Bridge.

Thanks, Richard, from Rumbling Bridge.

When Jack Reacher starts going for nap walks, which will be a major change in the series,

then I think we could say that everything truly is Showbiz.

Miles Barr has checked everything in showbiz.com.

He says he'd be amazed if anyone is mentioned in the podcast more than Jack Reacher, comfortably ahead of Shackleton.

There's a competition we always knew would happen one day.

Jack Reacher versus Ernest Shackleton.

Who actually has contributed more to the way we live our lives?

It's a big question.

And one will be answering on another episode.

Ruth has been in touch.

Sorry to go back in the gutter.

In response to the question Max posed on your lowering the tone episode, yes, I do see a lot of scrotums as a sonographer.

I reckon urologists and GPs might be top, though.

Do let us know.

What's a sonographer?

That's a good question.

We were talking about physios because a man went with his, you know, husks of pants to the physio.

We were wondering,

as who wouldn't wonder, who sees the most ball bags in the medical profession?

That was your question.

Yeah.

There's definitely an era with...

more plums, which was in football, in kind of pre-premiership football, when the short shorts were in.

There's a famous picture of, I think, Frank Reichard tangling with peter beardsly

yeah is goals as well yeah italia 90 and it's in there certainly sonographers are ultrasound came from your joke the ultrasound who are the most decent people in the hospital yeah and sees the most ball bags the ultrasound people do you want some iTunes reviews or should we do they're just normal countries let's have a couple of iTunes reviews just two Bal Powell I've never been a big podcast listener but what did you do yesterday has completely changed that I listened to every single episode it's like crack cocaine disguised in the most mundane format imaginable.

I can't get enough of it.

That's the most dangerous drug of all.

Crack cocaine, just as sugar puffs.

This is from App Man BBK.

I think it's a bit of a compliment for me, but you know, there's some generic default man 3 in there.

I approach this pod as the rarest of people.

A true Russian night, a supporter of Max in the Soccer M Glory years, a listener to his talk sports show, and a Football Weekly loyalist, even attending live shows.

I admit that's probably too much, Max, but I'm used to him and will contentedly admit I've spent many commutes sleeping to his tones.

And in this pod, we achieve Peak Rushton.

Max is likable, easy to listen to, and engaging without ever being too engrossing.

Faith, praise, faith, praise.

It's such a pleasure to find a pod that matches his personality perfectly.

And David feels the role brilliantly as the genial Irishman who works with Max to make us all comfortable.

In this fast-changing, challenging world, we need Max Rushdon and the pod he personifies.

Thank you for giving us this, for giving us joy and the normalcy of life.

I love the pod.

I can't wait to listen to many more yesterdays and nap through even more.

Thank you.

Oh, Jenny says, could we please have Helencopter's recipe for cauliflower and also worth listening for the recipe?

Maybe we'll do it in the show notes or when Jamie and the Helencopter begin their pod.

Yeah.

And they'll have a recipe section.

I think.

Yeah, I think it possibly goes back to my great joke of Ratatouille being a different film if it was Ratolengi.

I mean, there is an element of that to it because a few times Helen has said, I'll just rattle this up, don't worry about it.

And an hour and a half later, with the sounds of the rest is history coming through the rest of the house, Helen says, I'm just soaking something else.

Should we do one of they're just normal countries?

Oh, yeah.

I love this.

Let's play.

Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for the greatest jingle in the the world.

They're just normal countries.

Okay, welcome everybody.

Thank you so much.

Jingle Singer.

Previous guesses.

Madagascar, Namibia, Costa Rica, Uganda, North Korea, Guyana, the Northern Marianas Islands, Bhutan, Brunei, Nepal, Eswatini, and the US Virgin Islands.

We're getting through the countries.

We've got to get there soon, David.

I didn't rate this when we started it, but now it's one of the most important things in my life.

Is it at cheese board levels?

It's approaching.

It's approaching cheeseboard levels.

Cheeseboard took a while to get going as well.

It's true.

It's true.

Hey, doodles and generic man 3.

This is from Andrew, another Brit in Melbourne.

My guest for the country with one podcast listener is inspired by a visit to the famous, if you live in Melbourne, Meredith Music Festival held near the town of Meredith between Geelong and Ballarat in Victoria.

We were making our way back to the tent after an evening of listening to some wonderful tunes in the supernatural amphitheater.

As we were passing a helper station, one of the volunteers was running through a quiz with a group of festival goers and asked the assembled audience to name five African countries beginning with the letter E.

The straightforward Egypt, Ethiopia, Eritrea, and Eswatini were all named fairly quickly.

Just as we passed by, another country popped into my mind and I called out, Equatorial Guinea without breaking stride.

Look at a drive-by quizzer.

Imagine that.

I got a degree of approval from the Quizmaster, and we carried on our way.

So since it has been lucky for me once, I'll go for Equatorial Guinea again.

Everything is showbiz.

Andrew, over to Marsbar.

Oh, that was a no, Max.

I know the sound never comes in here.

I know this at this point.

Marsbar Hammond listens in Equatorial Guinea.

Obviously, Eric the Eel listens, the Olympic swimmer, famously, he's a big fan of the book.

He's probably listened to every episode, but any others?

If he's a fan of the show, he's doing it on a VPN or out of the country because there are zero listeners.

Zero listens in Equatorial Guinea.

It's a pointless answer.

Well, then, it's a pointless answer, Andrew.

So, you know, you do win £6,000,

but you do not get a point in this.

Winner stays on.

So it is which country, at the time when Mars Barr began this quiz months ago, had had just one listen?

There are six countries with just one listen.

We have not found any.

Can we get a...

I know what you're going to say to this.

No, no, we can't.

Can we get a steer from Marsbar again?

No, what sort of

continent?

No.

Whether it's in the tropics.

Because they'll be around the world.

Okay.

Okay.

God, it's fun, isn't it?

It's fun to think we'll ever get them.

We'll ever get them.

I think the last six countries that we guess, people by now, people have written like whole pieces of software to find out every mention of some any part of vaping in this podcast somebody will have looked at all the countries but you know we can only go on the guesses that we get and so far zero too many quizzes are easy these days this is

yeah it's peak but i mean there is a point on only connect when you haven't answered a single question for

episodes

yeah where you

do you keep coming back i mean i keep coming back to this

It's a good point.

But as you said, I don't understand games.

I want to start a new one.

I want to start thinking of a thing with you, David.

We just need sort of three more players.

It's going to be another massive success.

Okay, it's your day.

David, what time did you wake up yesterday?

This is the latest I've ever woken up because I'm at the Edinburgh Fringe.

Helencopter is coming to visit soon, but is not here.

Right.

So there's no Pilates wake-up.

No Miel the Cat.

Oh, I do have to say, say for fans of miele the cat went back now it's a job getting a cat that's been staying with you for five weeks into her box yeah

they know the cat box they don't want to go in the cat box so helen she didn't give me all the details because I didn't need to hear it.

So we've had one window open because Miell's an indoor, outdoor cat.

So the first thing that she did when her brother came over to collect Miele was just shut that window for the first time in the five weeks that she's been staying.

So, Miel saw the brother and I was like, Yeah, yeah, good to see you.

I'm just going over here.

And made a run for the window and did a classic sort of roadrunner wily coyote type dump straight into it.

And then we imagine the squeaking of paws sound, and then the little birds flying around Miel's head like that.

I wake up at 9:20.

So I am working here.

Yeah, you are.

But this is the closest I've ever woken up to an episode of What Did You Do Yesterday?

Because we are talking to a guest at 10.

We are, yeah.

And I know it's going to be.

All of our guests are highly intelligent, but this is one where we're going to really need to be on form.

I wasn't drinking or anything the night before, so I feel fine, but I do need to try and wake up.

So I wash my hair with medicated shampoo.

Great.

Or do you have lice, Dandroff?

What's up?

No, it's a dermatological condition lice.

I don't have lice.

Itchy flaky scalp remedy by T-gel?

Was that another one of your...

I never did the voice, but the advert I knew so well.

No, in stressful times, like when you're doing 35 shows in 28 days at the Edinburgh Fringe, on my lower cheekbones, I get a sort of redness, which is some kind of, I don't know, like yeasty thing coming off my hair.

We don't need to go into this, but there is a great product if you're searching for a solution.

Yeah.

There's a shampoo called Derkos.

Derkos.

Yeah, Derkos.

If you have yeasty heads, you've added Derkos.

Money back guarantee.

Derkos does sound like a baddie from Doctor Who or something like that.

So I do it, you leave it in for a while.

I don't dry my hair.

So I sit down to do the podcast.

Will we say who it's with, or should we leave that up?

Sure, yeah, yeah.

With John Robbins.

Yeah, goodbye.

I guess we have mentioned it already.

So no tea, coffee, no breakfast.

I've been eating too much at very unusual times here.

As in, my show is seven to eight, and I tend to meet up with people and eat slightly too much after that.

So the evening before, me and Nish Kumar had gone to a Mexican restaurant.

Not sure how authentically Mexican it was.

It's interesting because the last time I went to a restaurant with Nish was a Mexican restaurant that was completely empty and was the size of a warehouse.

It was pretty rough.

It's pretty disgusting stuff.

Well, I'm still full.

So yes, I have a cup of whatever this delicious fragrant coffee.

I've got another cup of it in front of me now.

And there follows 10 to

after 12.

It was a marathon episode.

It was a long e.

It was a big day.

Yeah, yeah.

Gonna be a good e.

Yeah, a beautiful ep.

And it's 12 and I got to get going.

This is the fringe.

So a lot is happening.

Now, I've got some intel.

My friend Rob says his friend Matt runs the Detour Cafe up here.

It Says DOD has been coming in every morning.

Yeah.

Because there's a bike on the wall.

Did you go to Detour?

Yeah, there's a bike on the wall.

That is how easy it is to get me.

If you ever needed to trap me like a lobster, you just pop a bike on the wall of your cafe.

Yeah, that guy's really nice.

And

he does a...

Like, it's a slightly unusual cafe in that his big cellar is a sort of breakfast enchilada type thing as opposed to more standard.

Having a mexican month you're going full mexican every meal you're eating is nachos nachos for breakfast enchilada for lunch burrito for dinner and then a late fajita and you're fine so i'm straight downstairs yeah to my bike i bought a bike on facebook marketplace on the first day

did the buyer know you were who you were the buyer played it cool initially yeah and then he admitted that he did in fact know who i was As you were cycling off.

I love you, David Lonati.

No, I got him to drop it to my venue.

I paid him on PayPal and then got him to drop it to the venue.

And then the front of house people took the bike in.

And it's a really nice runabout.

Great.

And I'm going to ride for the whole month.

I don't go to Detour Cafe today.

I go straight to, there is a fringe artists for Palestine event that happens once a day.

There's various aspects to it.

There's a fundraising aspect to it.

There's a sort of pot-banging thing.

The night before has been a big Jews for Gaza event.

And it feels good to be doing something anyway.

For sure.

Just standing out there.

While I am at that,

people know that I'm the bike guy.

And I have at all times two multi-tools in my pockets.

Got it.

So I then fix two bikes for

bikes.

Just people passing by?

I fix Amy Annette's bike, who I'm living with, and then also friend of the pod, Rose Mattefeo.

What was wrong with her bike?

Rose needs her handlebars raised.

She's not happy with the riding position.

I think maybe she's used to a more Dutch type upright bike.

I'm with you.

Which you can sort of do on a modern cheapo mountain bike that she has also bought off someone, i think just for the month so we can raise those right up does she need her shimano gears tightened wow yeah just occasionally drop it in yeah i am in a rush yeah you've not eaten anything you didn't have an enchilada no i haven't eaten anything

i have to do richard herring's podcast a live version

yeah yeah he's doing it at the fringe and yes this is the first time I'm thinking I need to get some energy in here.

So I go to the modestly named Union of Genius cafe, which is a soup cafe.

And I get some sort of chickpea shredded chicken.

Like it really hits the spot now.

Oh, that sounds good.

It's a little too wintry.

Coconut milk?

No, it's more goulashy than that.

Got it.

Okay, okay.

And on the side, I have, is it called a borek?

Borech?

Yeah, yeah, yeah a borek borek which is sort of a light pastry with chorizo and some veg inside yeah it's got samosa vibes it's the greek samosa yes it would win in a fight with all of the other samosas though that's true that is true and i ride across town to the

so in 2008 here we go i won the it was the period award and i won it it was called the Intelligent Finance Award.

It changes its sponsor every few years.

Okay.

Intelligent Finance, unfortunately, went bankrupt shortly afterwards.

Got it.

Which raises questions.

I'll see you there.

Intelligence.

But they did give me this award.

And for that month, I performed in what was then the basement of the Edinburgh Police Social Club.

That was my venue.

Was there occasionally like a dead policeman policeman on a table?

You know, that's how they, you know, when one of those goes, they have a big celebration or get wasted in front of the corpse of the policeman.

Do you have to sidle past one of them before your show?

I didn't notice that.

Okay, but and you would have noticed it for sure.

What I did notice was there were framed pictures on the walls the way you would have just normal framed pictures, but then when you looked carefully, it'd be like a shiny police motorbike.

Oh, yeah.

My opening joke was:

in the past, Irish people haven't had great experiences in basements belonging to the British police services.

This was a long time ago.

And I haven't been back to that room for 17 years.

And that is where Richard Herring's Leicester Square podcast brackets in Edinburgh at the moment is.

There's a lot of podcasting you're doing today, isn't it?

Because, you know, John's episode was long.

Yeah.

And I would say deeper than most of the podcasts that we do.

Yeah.

It's not a criticism of other guests.

No.

You've got to deliver again, David.

Yeah, but it's different.

I chose not to go in the direction of John finding spiritual peace sitting in a forest.

Of course.

And instead, we just discuss some knockabout tales of 25 years of the fringe.

Again, completists, when he releases it, will be able to listen to that particular hour of my yesterday.

Did you book him for this?

Because Jamie wants him on.

Yeah, I said it to him afterwards and he said he'd love to.

So I have.

And he couldn't at that exact moment.

He couldn't say, nah.

You've literally just done his.

It'd be great if he'd gone, actually, nah.

I can't.

I met his kids afterwards.

He sells a book of emergency questions as merch, which is a lovely idea.

And his son was there.

And I don't know if his son enjoyed my children's books, but he told me I had cobwebs on my face, which I think was a way of telling me that my beard's gone a bit gray and I look a bit older.

Oh, I see.

It wasn't the medicated shampoo.

It wasn't just yeasts pouring down your face.

No, it was just a really kind, open six-year-old saying, blimey,

you look like you're dying.

That's all it was.

It was a long time since you were here winning that award.

And now look at you.

You're back in this room 70 years later and you haven't got along

this is the fringe we're on the go again bounce onto the bike yep i am going to see allison spittle one of my irish friends is doing one of the most talked about shows at the fringe this year i have 45 minute gap here and in that gap i need to listen to my show from yesterday I'm still recording all of these shows.

Oh, you're still workshopping?

Yeah.

The show's going well, but I feel we haven't yet found the mystical order for

all of these bits.

And in listening to it, yeah, I've got some good ideas.

We go to Allison's show.

It's absolutely incredible.

It's wonderful.

We have to get her on here at some point.

And

that's 4.55 when it question starts to the generic man

in the super dry t-shirt that that he got out of the covered when he got back to London.

Do you go to all these shows?

Because every sort of, it's all a very sort of collaborative, supportive thing.

Do you go because you really want to go to other shows?

Or do you go because then they'll go to yours?

And it's kind of, you know, you just have to do the thing.

Because you've already done two podcasts.

You've got a show in the evening.

Just the last thing I want to do is go and see something else now.

Wow.

Imagine if I've said, yes, I just go to these shows just to no.

The point of this month is you put your new work out there and you also soak up all of this new cool stuff this is people at the very top of their game yeah particularly people who are like have been doing comedy for a while and are really now getting into their stride yeah okay

love going to shows okay and i will say this there's only two sorts of show in edinburgh the slot is 55 minutes that's it so that's how long pretty much every show is.

And the two shows are, you look at your watch about halfway through, and you either hope the end is coming soon, or you hope the end isn't coming soon.

Got it.

How do people feel about this podcast?

Look at your watch now and think, are you hoping this goes on forever?

Or are you hoping this is a quick one?

Let us know.

A quick one.

Got to be a quick one.

Allison's show is one of those shows where I don't want it to end.

I'm sitting beside Rose Matifeo, whose bicycle I've already fixed.

We both applaud heartily.

There's a bucket speech at the end because Allison is in a venue called Monkey Barrel where you can buy a ticket or you can queue and then pay what you want.

at the end

if you're a bit short of cash or whatever.

And she is standing there with the bucket at the end.

And the show's so good, it's filling with cash.

Great, you give her four pounds 80,

and then I take three pounds out of the bucket.

Could you split a 10?

There was a funny tale in this venue last year, which was someone got, you know, those card readers you can get because you need this.

Most people don't have cash.

You could actually get one of those now that is an app on your phone.

Yeah, yeah.

And the

person stood there holding the phone out with the app set up.

And people like blip bleep, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, set to a fiver blah bleep on the card.

40 people checked their bank account later.

And it transpired that they had put their own credit card inside the protective case on the back of the phone.

So had been charging themselves instead of other people.

Five or a second.

Really good.

So now it's five to six yep my show every night is at 6 30 but i'm wearing shorts right and you can't gig in shorts why why not you just can't you just can't 49 year old man in shorts looks like he's having a breakdown i've never done a live show in shorts it's true i've never done a live show in shorts maybe this will be the time i would do this in shorts should we just do it in the lulus should we just do the hat in the empire in the lulus

i would feel self-conscious just in underpants i shoot across town on my beautiful bicycle and get back here just in time to put my lungs on

i need a little bit

more sustenance so in our fridge is half a bottle of lucasade sport oh great you know that drink from 1993 after 90 minutes of sheer hell you're going to get thirsty yeah john barnes was it john barnes it was, yeah.

Well, yeah, it's possible it's been sitting in the fridge since then.

That's never going off.

Lucas Aid Spore is never, ever going off.

I neck some of that, put on long trousers and head off for the sound check for my show.

This is the

seventh or eighth show of the run.

Have a good time, Max.

Have a good time doing it.

We have a new lighting state.

The emotional heart of my show is a song where I look to the stars for advice.

And the stars tell me that they couldn't give a shit.

Stars tell me that they have a lot going on while we're busy.

Black holes and stuff.

Yeah.

And

what the incredible techs who are Ben and Amber.

Amazingly, my lighting tech is called Amber, as in like Amber Lights.

Her name is Amber Lights.

That's amazing.

Her name is Amber.

She does the lights.

Her surname isn't lights.

There's enough in her first name being Amber.

Stop over-egging this pudding.

Yeah, so every time I meet Amber, I say.

Imagine if she married Jeff Traffic.

Now we're talking.

I tell her she should stop unless it is unsafe to do so.

Yeah.

I'm a lot of fun.

I am a lot of fun.

So the venue I play, it's a sort of vibeless 500-seat lecture theater

where if you want to take notes, you can actually flip a desk.

Oh, you've got a desk.

Great.

There's an ink well for everyone.

Yeah, show goes good.

You need to keep it evolving, especially if you're doing a full month here.

Yeah, of course.

And I leave the venue.

Some people are outside waiting with phones,

pictures they found of me in the past.

A woman's got a photo of us from 2011.

And she says, let's recreate this.

Oh, that's nice.

And we do.

And all I'm thinking when I see it is, I have cobwebs on my face.

Yeah.

You didn't have yeasty head back in 2011.

Just three years ago, you'd won best new comic.

My Irish pals are there who are both doing shows here who are shane daniel burn

and killian sunderman who are two-thirds of young hot guys

a very cool irish podcast and we go for pizza because i haven't seen them since the start of the fringe where's the other hot guy he is not doing a show at the edinburgh fringe so i am his stand-in right you're the third hot guy yeah but no one thinks i am the third young hot guy who sees us.

What pizzas do you order?

Three separates or do you share?

We over-order, we can't get into Chow Wa Rome,

which is the old school chaotic pizza place.

It's the one time ever where LA showbiz culture has met the Edinburgh fringe, where when the Flight of the Concords were getting signed by big American agents in about 2005, we went to Chow Wa Rome.

and one of the American agents wasn't ordering a pizza.

He just sat there with a glass of bottled sparkling water in front of him until a FedEx man came in.

His phone went off and he waved at the FedEx man who arrived, handed him a package.

He opened the package and inside was like some sort of power bar.

He got it FedEx from New York.

New York City.

Great.

So we go to the other pizza place.

We have large pizzas.

I suspect nutritionally, it doesn't add much.

As the older woman of the three,

I say, you're at your granny's.

Let's just order too much.

Got it.

We get olives beforehand.

We get garlic bread.

We get a salad.

Hang on, stop there.

You do not need garlic bread when you're ordering pizza.

I know.

Terrible mistake.

Just before my pizza, I'd like some pizza.

It's a massive failing on the three hot guys.

Thank you.

There's a glitch in a lot of pizza restaurants, which is where if you order a garlic bread, it's just another normal pizza and it's like four quid, you know, as opposed to 11 quid for your...

So if you bring your own ham, you're saying a good hack.

You bring your own ham and tomatoes, some passata.

You can actually secretly make your own Hawaiian, couldn't you?

You just bring your own pineapple.

Find Tom Rosenthal, take some pineapple off him,

make your own pizza, create your own for nothing.

Four pounds.

Yeah.

Say if you had a distractive thing like a parrot on one shoulder, like our listener earlier on, and then you could pretend that the pineapple was food for the parrot, and then you'd just be tossing it on, mixed it in with a little bit of parrot.

shite that as well.

So I think you would actually bring attention to yourself if you had a parrot on your shoulder shoulder in a pizzeria.

Well, it's funny because the pizzeria we couldn't get into

has such a confusing theme

because the main part of the restaurant is

like classic Dolce Vita type pictures on the walls.

Okay.

And then there's an area to the right that is pirate themed.

That has cutlasses on the walls and whatnot.

So I think legitimately you could go in there with a pastor

on your shoulder and it would a peg leg and a big beard.

Is there a pizza called the R and you could have that?

You get a discount if you're a genuine pirate.

If you can show them a picture of your galleon that's currently in Leith, just off the shore.

It's about half nine, ten.

Uh-huh.

Do you know what we'll do?

So, my brain is, I'll have one pint.

I don't want to have four pints because I've got an episode of what did you do yesterday, tomorrow, where I have to go through everything we did yesterday.

And it'll also seem bad if I've had four pints.

People will think I'm having four pints every night, and I'm not.

However, we go to the brass monkey.

The brass monkey is the pub just up the street, which is, it's almost like the platonic ideal of a pub.

Do you know what I mean?

Okay.

It's perfect.

It's comfy.

It's got

friendly faces.

Does it have nooks?

It's got nooks.

Correct.

Yeah.

And not only does it have nooks, but when we enter, Nish Kumar is there.

This is not planned.

Josie Long is there.

And who is this man?

This will really bring this day together.

Correct.

Nisha's handsome friend, Will, is there.

Will is a professional cartoonist who has worked for the New Yorker, Private Eye, Will MacPhail.

His stuff is brilliant.

Listeners to this podcast may know him as the

I'm going to chase a goose guy.

He is the man who came up with The Adventures of Lady No Kids is what that official cartoon is called.

And I tell him

he's not a listener Max which is okay you can't hold that against people

not everyone's listening but I tell him that we've been talking about that particular cartoon I think it's an annoying conversation for him I think it'd be like me going up to you and being like all right Max I don't listen to football but you've got a football podcast yeah and there's a lot of so many goals let me tell you about some of my the best goals I've seen from the last five years.

There's a touch of that to him.

Is he trying to bat you off?

Is he trying to say, I'm over with this?

Or is he polite about it all?

It's someone coming up to me and telling me about a song of mine that they like.

And then,

because I think I do, in order to remind Will of this cartoon, as if he can't remember it, tell him my slightly wrong version of it.

Yes, good, good.

It's just annoying.

But he's such a nice man.

and we end up having i'm gonna say two pints okay and how many did you have i say i'm gonna go yeah and then i've left my keys in my venue they're locked in now

so i'm now at the mercy of my housemates josie and nish as to when they want to go so they say we're getting another pint

We've got you another pint.

God, you're just living like teenagers.

All of you.

This is incendiary is what i would say i said we'll have another pint because it'll be really annoying for max we're all living in a flat chair waking up going oh god can remember last night you know

can't believe you got off with her

did you make it to fez club and i passed down the street

thank god we're not old That's what you're all saying.

Thank God we're not old.

That would be such a funny thing to say.

We walk back.

Nish.

You steal a road sign.

You've got a traffic cone on your head.

You're singing half the world away.

I know the scene.

Ironically, that will be the scene this weekend because Oasis are doing three nights or something in Edinburgh.

Oh, wow.

So there's going to be an awful lot of people singing half a world away while stealing road signs.

We walk home, a wonderful 40-minute walk.

Edinburgh, the section of of Edinburgh we're in is beside the meadows, which is a huge, vast expanse of green grass.

Nish gets a kebab.

We sort out everything in the world.

Good.

And then I go to bed.

That's what I did yesterday.

I mean, there is some self-control there.

If I was with Nish Kumar, surprisingly not ordering a Mexican.

Or with anybody, if I'd had three pints and somebody walked past a kebab shop and said, I'm getting a kebab, there's not a part of me that wouldn't get a kebab.

Oh, but come on.

You've had unnecessary garlic bread with a pizza.

Like the one thing about that sort of carb stuff,

I don't know.

It's just like shoving socks into a sock.

You know, at some point, you can't fit any more socks in it.

You could just get just donor meat and salad.

I mean, you could just have a protein-y,

vegetable-y affair.

Anyway, fair enough, credit to you.

We're different people, David.

And I'll say this: I didn't eat before this podcast.

I am still full from yesterday's pizzas.

No, new day, new stomach.

That's my saying.

This is my life at the moment for this month.

Yes, I see what you're saying, in that it's remarkably similar to when I was 23 years old and came to the Edinburgh fridge for the first time.

But I feel I'm taking it in more.

I am

getting to hang out with these my friends who are these amazing artists who are making this beautiful work.

And

in the words of Samuel Beckett, tomorrow it all happens again.

I think it was yesterday it all happened again.

That's what Beckett was a yesterday got, I think.

Hello, it's a great day.

Like you're living your best life.

What a life.

What a way to, you know,

what a time to meet the goose cartoon man.

Well, I know.

I am at my gooseiest.

It's your yesterday.

You're like, it's my yesterday.

And you're there in a flat chair.

You are literally following the goose.

You're literally following the goose.

And now you're telling us all about it.

We just need to finish with the quiz, David.

Of course, the long-running quiz of while I was in Teddington for three days, I saw a comedian, an English comedian, putting up a poster for a show, and also an English footballer walk past me.

Who are they?

If you get one right, it's not enough.

You need to get both.

Dennis Wise

and Paddy McGinnis.

Incorrect.

We'll play again next week.

Can I play?

Okay, you can, Mouse, by you.

How Crunden and Les Ferdinand.

Incorrect.

But a fun old game, this, isn't it?

Okay, look, that's so much people.

He doesn't understand games.

He doesn't understand them.

I can't wait till one of you gets one of them.

And I just say no.

It could be Les Ferdinand.

There's no way of knowing.

But would you stick with the same footballer religiously?

Because you could be just going down the wrong path.

Oh, sorry.

Take years.

So be in Mars Bar get one right and one wrong.

That's a blanket no.

That's a blanket no, yeah.

We're in it for life.

I could take 10 years.

I think it's impossible to win this quiz in quotes.

I don't think it's impossible.

I just think it's highly unlikely.

It's a tiny minute of people's day.

It's just the last bit of the quiz.

It's the last bit of the podcast.

But just think of the moment.

Because if you get one of them, I'll remember the day.

And then you'll go, I've got to go back to John Joe Shelby, just for the tape.

It wasn't John Joe Shelby.

I don't make the rules.

So what can I say?

I've never said this before, but please get me out of of this podcast.

If you'd like to get in touch with the show, here's how.

To get in touch with the show, you can email us at what did you do yesterday pod at gmail.com.

Follow us on Instagram at yesterdaypod.

And please subscribe and leave a review if you liked it on your preferred podcast platform.

And if you didn't, please don't.

Hey, thanks, David.

Thanks a lot, Max.

Have a good show later.

HackneyEmpire.co.uk to get one of the last few tickets for what did you do yesterday live?

I've thrown the words everything is show biz into my show.

Yeah, good.

And every night it gets a few whoops and some confused looks from everyone else.

Whatever you do, don't wheel a bath on because that'll spoil the encore of our live show.

Thanks, Max.

Cheers, David.

Hello, Max Rushton here.

You might remember me from Series 9, Episode 2 of Parenting Hell.

I'm here to tell you about Dog by the Bakery Door, the debut children's book by author Jamie Bruce.

Dog by the Bakery Door is a charming story of the magical things a little boy sees on a normal trip to get a coffee with his mum.

Perfect for newborns, three-year-olds, six-year-olds, all children.

Just Google Dog by the Bakery Door.

Here's a review from my three-year-old son.

Dog by the Bakery Door.

I have this book.

Full disclosure, the author might be his mother and my wife, but even more reason to buy it.

She has to live with us and a baby 24/7 and has sacrificed her career for mine while also being an amazing mum to two boys.

Thank you, goodbye.