Season 4 Episode 2: Old School Funn

39m
A return to their old school sends Rudyard and Antigone on a trip down memory lane.
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Transcript

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Coach, the energy out there felt different.

What changed for the team today?

It was the new game day scratches from the California Lottery.

Play is everything.

Those games sent the team's energy through the roof.

Are you saying it was the off-field play that made the difference on the field?

Hey, a little play makes your day, and today it made the game.

That's all for now.

Coach, one more question.

Play the new Los Angeles Chargers, San Francisco 49ers, and Los Angeles Rams Scratchers from the California Lottery.

A little play can make your day.

Please play responsibly, must be 18 years or older to purchase play or claim.

Radiat Fun runs a funeral home in the village of Piffling Vale.

It used to be the only one.

It isn't anymore.

Radiator rarely mentions his early years, and nor does does his sister Antigone.

So imagine my delight when a return to their old school began a trip down memory lane.

Wooden Overcoats, created by David K.

Barnes.

Season 4, episode 2.

Old School Fun by Ben Cotton.

From an idea by Rosie Fletcher.

The crumbling edifice of Piffling St.

Glotur

has stood for several centuries.

Within its walls, thousands of children have sought an education, and a few of them even got one.

The Fun Twins studied here once upon a time, and now they were back to promote the funerary profession at the School Careers Fair.

Though it seemed they were just as unpopular now as they'd ever been.

We've been stood by this stall for half an hour.

I hadn't spoken to a living soul.

I brought along all my jars, too.

Here's a big toe.

I think someone would be interested.

Sid Marley promoting journalism,

Reverend on the clergy, Marlena teaching circus tricks,

and not a single child wants to learn about funerals.

Yes, they do, just not from us.

Tough morning, kids.

Sorry, I'm late.

You ready to put the farn in?

Funerals?

Autographs at the end, guys.

Right, give me a moment to set up, and I'll show you a jar containing a big toe.

It's not fair.

My toe's bigger than his.

But in the meantime...

You know it.

I thought it was taking a month off work.

We agreed no funerals.

I suppose a public appearance doesn't count.

Oh.

but why'd they invite him?

It's not like he studied here.

No, but he did the funeral for the head teacher's cat.

Morning, Georgie.

How's the mayor store?

He's making paper aeroplanes.

The kids are well on board.

You know, it's dead posh this school.

My old comp was proper rough compared to this.

How proper rough are we talking?

They got burnt down in the end.

Burnt down?

By the children?

No.

By the teachers.

It was the only way to escape from the children after the army refused to step in.

Well, St.

Clots has a better reputation than that.

Yeah?

Hey, you two were a couple of squares, eh?

Hey!

Yes.

I was a right joker at mine.

I used to do this thing, yeah, a bit mad.

I'd get a load of petrols from fireworks and then I'd have my catapult.

Are you sure the teachers burnt down your school?

Oh, yeah, definitely.

I'm only talking.

Roger, look.

Over there, talking to Chapman, it's Mr.

Sodbury.

Who?

My old English teacher, Mr.

Sodbury.

Gosh, that takes me back.

I wonder if he still remembers me.

Eric, so glad you could make it.

My pleasure, Alan.

Shame the head teacher can't be with us today.

He tried, but the uh rehab center has got excellent security.

Ah, poor man.

Poor man.

Anyway, I'll be introducing your keynote speech this afternoon.

The lasers and pyrotechnics are all set up, like you asked, along with the school choir, the orchestra, and the jazz ensemble.

Lovely stuff.

I can do a quick rehearsal.

The thing is, I've got this swarm of kids asking about funerals.

Maybe I should direct them to the funds for the time being.

The

funds?

Yes?

You must know them.

Antigone and...

Rodjard!

Yes?

There he is, over there.

Oh, God.

No.

Oh, God, anything, but him!

Oh, look, he's waving at me.

No, he's not.

He's shaking his best.

What's he in such a state for?

I suppose he hasn't forgiven Roger for what happened.

Forgiven me?

What about your part in the whole affair?

Don't blame me.

I have my own problems.

What was this back when you were kids?

Was indeed.

During our first year in this school, which was quite the adventure, let me tell you.

Okay, I'm game.

You better start at the beginning.

Right.

Well.

Twins, as you're no doubt aware, share the same womb.

in a constant battle for supremacy.

Not that far back.

Oh, fine.

Uh, in that case, I suppose it really all began when we transferred here from junior school.

From the frying pan into the fire.

It was our first morning at St.

Clot's, and our father had dropped us off outside the gates.

It was nice of Father to walk us to school, wasn't it?

Yes, it was.

I wish he hadn't stolen my lunch money, though.

When he saw the school, I thought he looked scared.

Rubbish.

You heard him at breakfast.

This school never did him any harm.

That's what he said.

He was gritting his teeth awfully hard and crying.

He put too much salt on his bacon, that's all.

Don't be in misery.

This is an exciting day.

Fresh new start.

Out of the way!

What?

Oh my god.

You alright?

Yes, sir, I think so.

My foot got in the way of your tandem.

I'm so sorry.

The sun was in my eyes, you see.

Alan, you should let me steer.

You get too carried away.

That's easily done with you, my love.

Oh, Alan.

Shhh.

Sorry, sorry.

So, are you a new starter?

Yes, sir.

Radyad Fan.

Oh, Radhyard, your family run the funeral home.

I'm sure you'll bring a fresh perspective to my English class.

Thank you, sir.

And this here is my sister.

What, sister?

Hello.

Blindy.

We didn't see you there.

Mother says I'm Cetral.

Well, I'm sure we can get to the bottom of that in my science class.

I'm Miss Cudley.

Antigone, isn't it?

That's right.

It's a pleasure to meet you, Antigone.

Is it really?

Of course.

Oh, thank you.

I'll remember this forever.

Now, look here, could we wrap this up, please?

We don't want to be late on our first day.

Well, yes, Mr.

Sodbury and I better get on.

Or else the head will wonder what we've been up to, eh, Roxa?

Stop it.

See you both later.

Bye.

They seem nice.

Do you think they're a couple?

No, this isn't that kind of establishment.

Now, remember what mother said about keeping a positive outlook.

Yes, if my self-esteem drops too low, my allergy is picking.

Right.

We don't want you sneezing all over the other children for months on end.

Again.

No, I'm not going to embarrass us.

This place could be better than our last school.

Maybe these people won't think we're weakening and throw us in ponds.

Yes, like I said before, this is a fresh new start.

Hi!

You two!

What are you doing?

Nothing, sir.

You're imagining how happy we're going to be here.

Daydreaming?

Not on my watch.

I'm Mr.

Asky.

I'm in charge of games.

We like playing happy families, don't we, Roger?

Yes, it's aspirational.

That's enough for that.

I mean, P.E.

Physical Education.

Rugby.

Hockey.

Football.

Violence.

I think there's been some mistakes, sir.

Excuse from physical activity.

Our mother facts your doctor's reports.

I burnt it.

Burnt it?

Yep.

Set fire to it and have the pupils jump over the flames.

I want the Puru in that school now.

Run for it.

We can't run with these satchels.

Ah, yeah, Clad.

Do you think I put my rook sack down in the Falklands, dear?

No!

I ran across no man's land carrying 65 kilos, stormed an enemy bunker with a tin opener, and captured everyone in it.

And then I filled up my sack with some more rocks just to make it challenging.

Are you sure you're a teacher?

Wanna see me qualifications, dear?

Yes.

That's me qualifications!

Now, you two are gonna sprint through the front doors of that school, and God help you if you don't.

So move!

What are you doing?

Running into school, sir.

No, no, no!

At this school, we don't just run in a straight line, taking the shortest possible distance.

We run around the whole school twice, and then we go in.

That doesn't make any sense.

That's 30 squat thrusts for insubordination.

Now, both of you, get running, or do we have to set the dogs on you?

No, sir.

Too late!

Like all PE teachers, Mr.

Asky was a sadist.

But at least you knew where you stood.

The real nightmare began in our English lessons.

Sweet sultanas.

green

bananas,

low-fat cheese,

and frozen peas,

raspberry jam, a juicy ham,

four lamb chops, and lemon drops,

a dozen eggs, some chicken legs, a pound of mince, a single quince,

some tea and milk, and fresh black coffee, And don't forget the treacle toffee.

Anything you think I've missed, feel free to stick it on the list.

I liked that.

Yeah, really cool.

Hands up when addressing the teacher.

Sir, Mr.

Sudbury.

Yes, Roger.

It's great we know what you want from the shops, but I was wondering if we could start the lesson now.

Aha!

I have started.

Remember what I said at the beginning of class?

Yes, Bill?

Anything can be a poem.

Exactly.

Even the most

ordinary, everyday material can surprise us.

We just have to use our imagination.

Sir!

Yes, Roger?

Mother said I should ignore my imagination to avoid disappointment.

I'm sorry to hear that.

But the point I was making is that when it comes to literature, there are no rules.

None at all.

It's quite literally

an open

book.

You made a pun.

It's not a pun.

It's not a pun.

Well, but we must have rules.

It is!

I don't.

In fact, I'm banning all rules from this classroom.

But sir!

Call me Alan.

There's no hierarchy here.

You know, I'm still learning every day, just like you are.

Oh, wow.

I must protest.

A shopping list is not poetry.

Poetry should be a recollection of military victories, or at a stretch, military defeats.

Everyone knows that!

What a drip!

Yeah, shut up, Rajyard.

We like the ones about food.

Okay, okay, okay, settle down, class.

Rajard has a perfect right to express his views.

There aren't any wrong answers here.

Yes, there are, for goodness sake!

How else will you mark our homework?

Homework!

It's no homework from this class.

What?

Yeah!

You'll never learn by forcing it.

Read what you like.

Write

what you like.

In this class,

it's all about you.

I feel inspired like never before.

I'm going to stand on my desk.

Stop her, sir.

Attention, sharp.

No, no, let's all do it.

Everyone, on your desks, kids.

Come on.

Oh, Captain, my captain, our fearful trip is done.

I've been running half a mile with a pimple on my bun.

Excellent work, Jerry.

Creativity.

In the moment.

That's what literature is all about.

No, it isn't.

Yes, it is.

Then we ought to ban it immediately.

I'm going to sit right here at my desk until you teach us something properly.

Let's all go outside and pick flowers.

Yay!

No, stop, everyone, come back.

We'll regret this when we're 35!

You suck!

No, I don't!

It was a war of attrition between Mr.

Sodbury and me, and I was determined to win it.

I wasn't party to Rajad's silly crusade.

It was school policy to separate twins, to force them to make new friends, so we never took classes together.

It was scary, but I soon found a kindred spirit in this country.

Okay,

this is

science.

All about facts.

What makes the telephone work?

Why do our bodies do embarrassing things?

How are the piffling woods so small but incredibly dense?

We'll cover all of this and more in the year ahead.

And it starts today with biology, the study of life and living things.

Or as we call them,

anyone?

Miss Adam.

Antigone.

Is it organisms?

It is indeed.

Well done.

Thank you.

And we'll see.

All living organisms share seven basic characteristics.

Can anyone guess one of the seven?

Miss Miss!

Antigone again.

Go ahead.

Movement, growth, reproduction.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa there.

Let's give the other pupils a chance, mm-hmm.

But they had their chance.

Okay, that's three.

Can we have another?

I see we need motivation this morning.

In that case, those of you who give me correct answers can have either a gold star or a chocolate from the box.

Miss, that's bribery.

Yes, it is.

Good.

We respect that.

Look at all those hands going.

Kanya.

A characteristic shared by all living things.

Ah, being happy?

Hmm.

Lovely idea, but wildly optimistic.

Bill.

Breathing, miss.

Sort of.

Not everything breathes.

But all living things do share a process called.

Antigone.

Respiration.

I'll take that gold star, please.

Here you go.

And to save time, maybe you should give us the other three answers.

Yes, miss.

Sensitivity, nutrition, and

excretion.

What's that mean?

I know.

Um.

Right.

Sorry.

She's so weird.

Hey.

Antigone is clearly just.

passionate about science.

Well, mother says you'll have to check that all seven signs of life have stopped before you bury someone, though father thinks about five is enough to get started.

I assume he's joking.

So did we, until the police came over.

Okay.

Let's move on.

Why don't you all write down what's on the board and I'll see what's up next?

Yes?

Why are you so pale?

You're like a haunted milkmaid.

I'm not.

Heidi, the ghostmaid, with her undertaker parents.

I heard they eat dead people for dinner.

And they tried to bury my granddad.

He was just having a snooze on his patio.

Most of those things aren't true.

Go away.

You stink of chemicals.

It's only formaldehyde.

Ha!

We should call her formaldehyde.

Yeah, formaldehyde.

Seen any good bodies lately?

Leave me alone, I'm doing my work.

Keep it down over there.

Hey.

Hey, Bill.

Yeah.

Watch this.

He shoots.

Jerry, I saw that.

Oh, but miss.

If you misbehave in class, then you owe me a box of chocolates.

It's school rules.

They told you in assembly.

Yes, miss.

Oh, I think my skull is fractured.

No, it isn't.

But picking on Antigone stops now.

In my class, we don't mock enthusiasm.

We celebrate it.

One day, Antigone might be a doctor or a biochemist.

I want to work at our funeral parlour.

Mother's explained embalming to me, though I haven't tried it out yet.

Well, at this rate...

I wouldn't be surprised if you went on to have a truly groundbreaking career as a pioneer mortician.

You really think so?

I really do.

Work hard and don't be discouraged.

But remember, no matter how interested you are in death, there's plenty of life to enjoy first.

Yes, miss.

Thank you.

She was the first person besides my mother to encourage me, to give me support when I needed it most.

Which is why

the day when it all went wrong.

Yes, it's boohoo.

But what about me?

That school was hell on earth, With extra hockey practice thrown in to make it worse.

That's not your PA kit.

I brought my sister's kit by mistake.

You what?

You haven't a laugh.

Far from it.

In fact, the netball skirt allows me the same freedom of movement as hockey shorts, if not more.

I'm not doubting that, Fum.

I've argued the same thing for years.

But my point is, we're not playing hockey this morning.

We're playing football.

Getting goal!

Oh dear.

Everyone, shooting practice.

Aim for the goalie.

Hard as you can.

Now, sir, I'll be doing one at a time.

One at a time?

If you want to join the Pitlin League, son, you'll need to do better than one at a time.

30 balls every second.

Ready?

Aim!

Fire!

I came off the pitch that day with three missing teeth.

I never did find out who they belonged to.

After games, we'd have to take showers.

The water was so cold, the pipes had frozen.

So he made us call out Plumber and pay for it out of our own pocket money.

Mr.

Asky sounds terrible.

He should have been in prison.

He was for a while.

They kicked him out for upsetting the inmates.

Still, his reign of terror is over now.

The doctor recorded the cause of death as pure hatred and pneumonia.

I'd been looking forward to that funeral for decades.

And in the end, it was the first one Chapman stole from us.

He sore needs pranking.

Eric does.

I could draw pitching powder on him during his speech, or glue his feet to the floor, or kick him really hard in the shins.

That's not a prank, that's assault.

Don't worry, I'll think of something.

You carry on.

As the term went on, I dug in my heels and refused to let school change me.

Mr.

Sodbury settled down, but his lessons were still too

frivolous for my liking.

O Romeo.

Romeo!

Wherefore art thou, Romeo?

Sir.

Sir?

Deny thy father.

Sir.

Sir!

Sir!

What?

What is it now, Rodjot?

She knows where Romeo is.

He's right there.

She hasn't noticed him yet.

Why not?

He's been rabbiting away in her garden for a couple of pages.

She probably can't sleep with that going on.

She should be telling him to go home.

She doesn't want him to go home?

Hence,

wherefore art thou Romeo?

He's in the garden.

It doesn't mean well.

It means...

why?

Why is Romeo?

Why is Romeo?

Exactly.

Why is Romeo what?

Roger.

None of it makes any sense.

It's confusing.

It's come out!

Can't you see, Rodard?

It's all about how swept up they are with love.

They've known each other for an hour.

Sometimes that's all it takes.

When you're older, you'll understand that.

Or take me and my fiancée, for instance.

Tell us how you met Miss Catrie again, Alan.

Yeah, there's only 40 minutes until the bell.

Tell us again, Alan.

Alright.

Picture if you will.

The common rule.

It was a golden autumn morning.

No no no, it's getting us nowhere.

I came here to learn about important things like facts and figures.

Then why don't you ask for more maths lessons?

Teacher says he doesn't want me in his class.

You think I do?

Everything we study.

You interrupt or criticise or point out that it's not literature in the first place

What about life Rodyard?

Huh?

Huh?

Hmm

What about life

and beauty

and art

and feeling you're wondering from the points

They

are

the point

Rodyard But you wouldn't know that would you?

You wouldn't know that because what do you know?

Nothing!

You know nothing!

I mean.

Wow.

Nice one, Rudyard.

You've upset him.

So sorry.

I don't think I've ever lost my temper before.

Class is missed.

Sir?

The class is missed!

What have I done?

What have I done?

Well,

we'll continue this later then.

See you tomorrow!

At last, I was getting through to him.

And as for me, I was excelling at science thanks to Miss Cutry.

I'd never felt so encouraged before.

At the end of term, I decided to show my appreciation.

Okay,

wake up!

Inspired by last week's lesson on Abigail Abernathy,

who was?

The first woman on Piffin to practice science!

Bingo!

We're spending today on your show and tells.

An item that means something personal to you while also demonstrating an interesting scientific principle, like the rectal rectal thermometer that Jerry stole from the hospital.

The perfect crime.

Who'd like to start us off today?

Anyone?

Miss.

I'd like to do my show and tell, please.

Oh.

Antigone, we'd be delighted.

Wouldn't we, everyone?

Especially so fun.

Okay, here she is.

Yes.

Looks elaborate.

What's under the blanket?

It's something I've made to give to you, Miss Coutry, for inspiring us every day.

Antigone,

I'm touched.

You've taught us so much about the pioneers of science who follow their passions no matter what.

You gave me the courage to do the same.

And that is why, today,

I am proud to present the result of my work.

Behold

my first embalmed animal.

It's my Java, Jeffers.

He died a week ago, but he got a bit squashed on on the way here this morning.

That's disgusting!

Well, I've just been sick.

Now, now, now, Class, I'm.

Um.

The eyes.

There it.

Yes, bit of an accident there.

I had to use a couple of buttons from an old doll, but you can't tell.

No.

Well, uh.

This is.

Commendable.

Commendable progress, Antigone.

That's why I want you to have it, Misk.

Oh, no.

Oh, no, no, really.

I couldn't take this.

It's leaking a bit, isn't it?

Yes.

Where would you like me to put it for you?

How about

how about

here?

On your desk, where you can always see it.

There!

There it is.

Do I get a gold star?

Yes.

Yes, Antigone.

As many as you like.

Yeah.

I'd never felt so proud.

It wouldn't last for long.

I remember.

Because later that day, I was having a disagreement with my classmates.

We're sick of you, Rudyard.

You're ruining our lessons.

Yeah, we want to learn about poetry.

I'm simply trying to raise the standards of education.

These are meant to be the happiest days of our lives.

Not with your rad, Rudyard.

Yeah, Crudyard Bum.

That's your name.

No, you've seen my birth certificate, and it clearly states Rudyard.

I'm in the bean!

Bean, him, beef!

Been him!

Bin him!

No!

Jerry!

Why can't we be friends?

I'll never be your friend, Radyard!

Put him in the bee!

Put him in the bee!

Hi!

What's all this about then?

Hey!

They were trying to put me in the bin, sir.

I saw from the stuff room.

You kids should be ashamed.

That is not the way we put boys in bins.

You do it like this.

Up, onto the shoulder, Back straight, very important.

Then over the rim, by the ankles, high as you can, and in.

That's the way to do it.

You're right in there.

Yes, sir.

Good lad.

The rest of you, let's have some football.

Everyone, the Ask it.

Five-goal advantage to me, and I start with a penalty.

someone help

anybody

Roger!

Roger!

I saw what I did to you!

We'll get you out of there!

You can call out now!

Thank you, Antigone.

Are you okay?

It wasn't too bad, really.

There wasn't much in there.

All except what looks like an embalmed rat.

What?

Actually, I think it might be a gerbil.

But whatever it is, it's flattened now.

I think some of it got in my mouth.

It was a present.

I made it for Miss Cutry.

I'm going to find her.

I demand an explanation.

That goes double for Mr.

Sodbury.

I won't be bullied for his failures.

He'll teach English properly or not at all.

Right!

Right.

We dashed back inside the school.

We were going to speak truth to power.

I found Mr.

Sodbury in one of his funny moods, which had been getting steadily funnier over time.

Sir?

Go away.

I'm not being funny.

Go away.

Now look here.

I've just been ganged up on by the others in my class.

Were you hurt?

No.

That's a shame.

You know,

my older brother just sits around in a lighthouse all day getting drunk.

I think he's got the right idea.

Sir.

I do think we ought to thrash out these English lessons once and for all.

For both our sakes.

Should I incinerate all the copies of the Canterbury Tales?

Only the naughty bits.

But look, the way things are going.

I wonder if I should even be taking these classes at all.

He's got it.

By Jove, he's got it.

The boy's a genius.

No more English for you, my lad.

Simple, done.

What will I do instead?

Science?

Science!

My boy,

that's the class for you.

Double science all the way!

and that means away from me.

If you're sure.

Let's find Miss Catri.

She'll take you in.

She knows what I've been going through.

Yes, she knows.

She knows all right.

Oh, God, Ruxia.

The time I've wasted.

Sir?

Well, no, don't let the prison.

Come on, William.

Freedom calls.

I'll call them a lot.

Miss Catrie, when I give someone a dead gerbil, I expect it to be cared for.

Miss Catri?

Are you here?

Miss Catri?

Miss Catrie, are you in the supply cupboard?

Uh

it's not a good time.

I must speak to you at once.

Miss Catri.

Oh yeah.

Mr.

Askey!

It's not what it looks like.

There's no going on.

I'm just helping.

She couldn't find a Bonsenberg.

And he can find his

shorts.

Yo.

Yo, don't say it.

Gratonising in a cupboard.

That's libel.

That's slander.

And I'll give you five quid not to tell anyone.

Miss Country.

How about double the fun?

Rodyard is dying to study more.

Good God.

Roxanne.

Alan.

Jumbo.

Alan.

Digny.

Rudyard!

How could you?

How could you, Roxa?

I'm sorry, Alan.

With him?

We're engaged to be married.

Could we do this some other time?

I'm late for a match.

Alan, I loved you.

I really did.

But then you became so bitter and twisted, all you ever did was talk about Rudyard.

Oh, how flattering.

You're always so angry, Alan.

He's only a child.

He ruined my life.

If you were a real man, you'd stick him in a bin.

I'm sorry, Alan.

You're just not the dear, sweet, exhilarating man I fell in love with.

The wedding's off!

No!

Ah, the end of pick.

We should carry on this conversation same time tomorrow.

I thought we were really getting somewhere.

What do you got, son?

Yes, sir.

Bye, Mike.

You've come over all crimson.

By havoc!

Only let's slip the dogs of war.

No, sir.

You reach the pool.

Killing you is the very result!

No, Hannah!

He's not worth it!

Fracture!

You've still got me shorts!

Mr.

Sodbury chased after you, then Miss Cuttree trying to hold him back.

Mr.

Askey brought up the rear in his union jack underpants.

Did nobody tell him we're closer to France?

And as for me,

I looked on through the laboratory window,

all alone, as usual.

Oh no, my allergies!

And

that's what school was like for us, on the whole.

A series of character-building disappointments.

I'd have thought Mr.

Sodbury would have gotten over it all by now, though, eh, Georgie?

Georgie?

Madeline, where'd you go?

Is he?

She left ten minutes ago to prank Chapman.

Don't you think it's rather sad, Rajad?

Embarrassing Chapman?

Practically essential, I'd say.

No, I meant us.

Like you said, our school days are meant to be the happiest days of our lives.

Well.

Perhaps our best days are yet to come.

Only if we work for them, Rajad.

We've got to improve the business.

Be more professional before it's too late.

Hello?

Testing testing.

Thank you, everyone.

Now, I can see the dinner ladies are on standby to serve us lunch, and I, for one, am looking forward to my crumbling custard.

So I'll keep this short.

We have a very special guest with us today.

Many of you, I'm sure, will know him from the duet we sang together on my latest album, O Ruxia, Volume 6, Miss Cutry and My Heart's Fat Battery.

Buy it now on vinyl.

Anyway,

please give a warm hand to my friend and Pifflin's Premier Undertaker, Mr.

Eric Chapman.

Thanks, Eric.

Quite right.

Thank you, thank you, everyone.

Thank you.

Hello, that's your kind.

Thank you.

Calm down.

Your trouble will go cold.

Right, well.

Hey, Eric.

Yes?

How do you like a bucket of custard?

I wouldn't.

Sucks to be you, then, doesn't it?

Missed.

The ice all over me.

God,

what did I do to deserve this?

Nice one, Georgie.

Now what?

A food fight!

I don't know.

Come along, Madeline.

The funds were never again invited back to St.

Clauture's, though neither minded too much.

They'd learned a valuable lesson.

Often, one's past is better left where it is.

Old School Fun was written by Ben Cotton from an idea by Rosie Fletcher with editing by David K.

Barnes.

It was performed by Felix Trench as Ruddiard, Beth Eyre as Antigone, Tom Crowley as Eric, Kira Baxendale as Georgie, Tom Tuck as Alan Sodbury, Bavna Bowser as Miss Catrie, Lewis Alcock as Mr.

Askey, Max Tyler as Gerry, Pip Gladwin as Bill, Emily Stride as Tanya, and Belinda Lang as Madeline, with Mouse Squeaking by Holly Campbell.

The music was composed by James Whittle.

The programme was recorded at the Octagon Brixton and was directed and produced by Andy Goddard and John Wakefield.

The production manager was Elizabeth Campbell.

Miss Catry's Flat Battery by Tom Tuck.

With special thanks to the Sutton Music Service.

Driving along the ill happy

tried changing gears

Want to keep my eyes on the road

But that's changed through the years

I'm on the cardiac motorway

Trying to get to Yucatra

I'm on the cardiac motorway But my heart's

got a fly battery battery

Try to get myself an MOT

for my sputtering heart

I'd replace the whole damn thing, but you just can't get the parts

I'm on the cardiac motorway

Trying to get to your cat tree

I'm on the cardiac motorway of my horse.

Two, three, got a flat battery.

Oh, Alan, you're okay.

The Fable and Folly Network, where fiction producers flourish.

Coach, the energy out there felt different.

What changed for the team today?

It was the new game, Day Scratchers from the California Lottery.

Play is everything.

Those games sent the team's energy through the roof.

Are you saying it was the off-field play that made the difference on the field?

Hey, a little play makes your day, and today it made the game.

That's all for now.

Coach, one more question.

Play the new Los Angeles Chargers, San Francisco 49ers, and Los Angeles Rams Scratchers from the California Lottery.

A little play can make your day.

Please play responsibly, must be 18 years or older to purchase, play, or claim.