Season 4 Episode 3: The Big Cheese

37m
Madeleine saves Eric’s life and becomes a local hero, but Rudyard isn’t too pleased.
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Transcript

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Madeline lives in a funeral home in the village of Piffling Vale.

It used to be the only one.

It isn't anymore.

Yes, that's right.

This one's all about me.

Being a mouse of some humility, I never dreamed I might become a celebrity.

But when fame comes knocking at one's door, one really has no choice but to answer, has one?

Wooden Overcoats, created by David K.

Barnes, Season 4, Episode 3.

The Big Cheese by Tom Crowley.

I'll need to give you some background before we can get to the good stuff, with me in it.

Don't worry, this won't take long.

You see, the whole community had gathered at the village hall for a very special occasion, and Sid Marlow was taking advantage of the buffet.

What a spread, Eric!

Burgers and chips together at last!

Thanks, Sid.

You covering the action tonight?

What action?

Oh,

grilled onions!

Have you ever seen the like?

I meant the event.

Rudyard's opening his Piffling archive tonight.

I mean, that's why you're here, isn't it?

Eric boy, I'll let you into a little trick of the journalism trade.

If you can smell free food, there's a story to be found.

That's how they broke the Water World scandal.

You mean Watergate?

There's a sequel.

Hello.

Look, aren't you going to interview anybody or take some pictures or something?

Well, if you like.

Oi!

Rogiov!

Yes?

Give us a smile.

What are you trying to do?

Blind me?

Right, Madman.

You can't spoil my moment.

My triumph!

Once that curtain is drawn aside, they'll all see the extent of my labours.

I've played a fundamental role in the legacy of Piffling Vale.

They'll remember me for years.

Generations!

They'll be immortal!

Yes, these crisps are going to my head.

What are they?

Ready salts!

No wonder I'm light-headed.

Hey there, sir.

Fab party.

How are you feeling?

Fine.

Georgie, fine.

Antigone?

I've had a behind Zachary and I'm thrilled.

So you should be.

Just wait until you see the treasures waiting behind that curtain.

A curtain?

This is so exciting.

No peeking.

You'll have to wait for the unveiling, same as everyone else.

It may just be the bananas talking, Roger, but I think I'm feeling...

proud of you.

I'll take straight yourself.

Yes, sir.

Look at you.

Got your own project in a wing I never knew existed.

What was it before?

Absolutely chock full of old fax machines and spiders.

Hmm, spiders.

I don't think anything anything can ruin this moment for me.

Not even.

Ahoy, funds!

Fancy art, dog!

Don't!

I mean, Chapman!

Love the barbecue, Eric.

Have to say, you did good.

Oh, thank you.

Well, how's the man of the hour?

I don't know.

How are you, Chapman?

I.

I meant you, Rudyard.

Oh.

You actually did, didn't you?

Yes.

And you've kept yourself off the streets and out of trouble.

Top work.

Don't patronize me.

He's got a point, Rudyard.

I haven't seen you hanging out by those skips for a while, sooking on a Sherbet stroll, gazing at nothing.

I got the door has been asking questions.

That's enough of that.

I am content, chapman.

Thank you for asking.

I'm not going to have any of these colourful drinks, but I appreciate your supplying them.

My pleasure.

More soda?

Oh, shaw.

And for Madeline, a small paloma.

Hello, everybody.

And it's me in

the man.

My ascendancy awaits.

Thank you all for coming to the opening of the Piffling Vale Archive Annex.

Today, we recognize the tireless work and research of local underachiever

Radyard Fun, without whose diligent work and strange interest in old invoices, this project could never have started.

And so, I hereby declare this archive open.

Hold the curve in George.

Aye, aye.

Kiffling!

Behold!

Your history!

Is that it?

What do you mean, is that it?

That's history!

Where?

Oh, open your eyes!

Look!

What would you call this?

An old mop?

But not just any old mop.

This old mop belonged to our 49th mayor, Godfrey de Pifling.

And you'll notice that it's scarcely been used.

Which I think you'll find tells us a great deal about Godfrey's housekeeping habits.

Do we need to know about those?

We need to know everything.

The smallest detail is often the most important.

No, it's not.

Yes, it is.

For example, the mop led me to our next exhibit.

This antique toilet dating to 1895.

Does it still flash?

I think that answers your question.

Now, I wouldn't mind using the history for a moment, if nobody else has to go.

Don't touch the exhibits.

With the toilet came this early plunger, constructed out of oak and horse leather by a local craftsman whose name was...

unknown.

What about the stacks of toilet rolls?

Overspill from the supply cupboard.

But, if left unused, these two will become history for your children and your children's children, children.

I don't know about this.

I don't think it's.

The archive is somewhat sparse, Rantiard.

Don't we have any suits of armor or some pictures to look at?

It's a work in progress.

History takes time.

And you haven't seen the Piesta Resistance yet.

The best part of six months of research.

What, that book?

Yes!

This book!

Containing records of all the major leaks and blockages of the Piffling Vale sewer system from 1800 to 1981.

If you really want to know a place,

you'd better start with the plumbing.

How about that?

That's disgusting and boring.

Yeah, I want my money back.

You didn't pay anything.

Give me some money!

Well, at least we can all agree the project is worth spending thousands of pounds of your taxes on.

Thousands of pounds of taxes.

I pay my taxes, I'll have you.

They disagree.

You, Philistines, you've never had it so good.

I'll take it from here, Rudyard.

Okay, okay, okay, everyone.

This might seem underwhelming, but this is our history.

Rudyard's doing some really important work here, and we should encourage him to keep going so that in years to come, when we're all looking back at this mighty archive,

how about Tequila Shots?

Right, let's get this barbecue back on.

Rudyard, give us a hand with the grill, quickly.

Uh um this button?

Oh dear.

I'm on fire!

God!

Turn and roll Eric!

They did!

Georgie do, said they!

Oh, help someone!

Please!

And this is where I came in.

I'd been topping up my drink when disaster struck.

The crowd was panicking, Eric was blazing, and it fell to one mouse to be the hero.

So I snapped into action.

I jumped onto the soda nozzle.

I swung it round at Eric with every ounce of my strength, and I squeezed for all I was worth.

The flames!

They're going out!

Oh, thank God.

Oh, thank God that was close.

Eric, are you alive?

Yes.

Yeah, yes, I think so.

My iHeart, the chef apron, seems to to have taken the worst of it.

Thank heavens who survived.

Yes, thank heavens.

But who fired that sudden gun?

Yeah.

Who was it?

Who saved our beautiful chapman?

And then their assembled heads turned towards me, their faces brightening as one in surprise and delight.

It was the mouse.

The mouse is a hero.

Madeline!

A madman!

Hooray!

Madeline!

You did it, Madeline!

What an age!

Oh, Madeline, you saved my life!

If we could just recall the purpose of tonight's gathering.

I'm breaking out the cheese course early.

Free Brovolone all round in honor of Madeline!

Yay!

Madeline!

Madeline!

Madeline!

They carried me aloft to the cheese trolley, chanting my name.

My head was spinning.

The attention was intoxicating.

And out of the corner of my eye, I saw Rudyard returning his sewage book to the dusty shelves of the archive.

That was fun.

Especially a bit when Eric was running around on fire.

That must have cheered you up, eh, sir?

Radyard?

I'm sorry I didn't like your archive.

But once you move beyond the sewage pipes, I'm sure you'll win them round.

But it's not about them.

What's the use?

You go on ahead.

I'm just going to

keep to myself for a while.

By these skips.

What?

Oh,

yes.

I suppose.

Fine.

If that's what you want,

we'll just

leave you to it.

Madeline?

If you're sure, we'll save you some of this rock for.

Cross?

I'm not cross.

Never cross.

But if you recall, it was supposed to be my big night.

No, I didn't expect you to let him burn, but

it was my first chance to stand in the limelight.

And thanks to you, it was overshadowed by Eric Chapman's life being saved.

No, no, no need to apologise.

It's done now.

Look, just go eat some cheese.

That's not offensive.

I didn't mean generally.

I meant there is literally cheese waiting for you at home.

So go eat it.

I'm going to stay up and have some sherbet.

Alone, if you don't mind.

Leaving a disconsolate Ruddyard by the skips to suck a sherbet straw in peace, I scampered home and settled into bed.

I found myself reliving the night's exciting events,

with the adrenaline still coursing through my veins, though I also felt bad for eclipsing Ruddyard so completely.

I woke up very late and very suddenly when the morning brought a knock at the skirting board.

Hey, Madeline, wake up!

You'll never guess what.

Sid Marlow's here.

He wants to interview you for the paper.

There she is, the mouse of the hour.

Hope you don't mind me turning up like this, only I've got to get in ahead of the competition.

What competition?

Your blinking girlfriend, a Pifflin FM.

She's She's always one step ahead with an exclusive.

I heard she's got a magic wand that teleports news stories directly into the air.

You mean a microphone?

Shh.

Speak not the name of the dark thing.

I'm sure Madeline wouldn't mind a quick interview.

Terrific.

Right, Madeline, pull up a paperweight, make yourself comfortable.

To kick off,

would you say what you experienced last night was an epic call to action or a startling moment of heroic clarity?

What have you got?

Squeak.

Squeak, squeak.

God, this is powerful.

Georgie, you're meant to be picking up Mr.

Butterworth and he's getting dead about the minute.

Oi, keep the noise down.

I'm trying to do an interview here.

An interview?

Well, nobody told me about an interview.

You see, Sid wanted to come round and talk to me.

Say no more, Georgie.

I'm fully prepared to tell the complete and definitive story of the Piffling Archive project.

Now, you're all right.

Hmm.

Well, thank you for the compliment, but I don't understand.

Mr.

Marlowe is here to write about Madeline's bravery last night.

Isn't that nice, Rajard?

Yes.

Of course.

Yes.

Are you, um...

Planning to mention the archive in your story at all?

Certainly.

Wind your earlobes around this.

Madeline's act of selfless bravery took place at the village hall last night during an event.

Well, that's all.

I was gonna go with during a dull event, but I was trying to be impartial.

Oh, thank you very much.

But now that you mention it, dull event does read better.

Lends it some colour.

Cheers, Roger.

No, you never say anything in that rag about our fine service and professional excellence.

When did you start doing that?

Ah, Georgie, dead man outside.

On it.

Hello?

Oh, excuse me, Georgie.

Sorry, Eric can't talk.

Dead man.

I've assumed she was referring to someone else.

Yes, that's right.

You're still alive.

What a blessing.

Isn't it?

Morning, Sid.

This way, Eric, boy.

We'll do the photo over here.

Photo.

Now, look here.

And I got something for Madeline to say thank you.

A tiny bouquet of flowers.

I wasn't sure if you had a vase, so I put them in an upturned toothpaste cap.

That's the lead photo for sure.

You sit next to Madeline.

Lift up that bouquet.

Say cheese.

Cheese.

Now look here, this is a place of serious and somber work.

You can't just march over here for a photo opportunity without seeking our permission.

I gave them permission, Roger.

You did what?

Mr.

Marlowe asked if he could have a picture of Madeline and Chapman together in the shop, and I said he could.

But why?

Because it's a nice thing, Rajard.

It's a nice thing for Madeline, and by extension, it's a nice thing for us, too.

Listen to you.

You never liked nice things before.

Yes?

Hey, Roger.

Lovely morning.

What do you want?

We'd like to get Madeline's autograph.

You probably don't know this about us, but we're autograph hunters.

You are?

We are.

My best one's Felicity Kendall.

I'm Slobodan Milosevic.

Oh, dear.

So, how about it?

Could we see her for a moment?

She's busy.

We've traveled for a poor prince.

Come away, Tanya.

Tygani, this is getting ridiculous.

You're ridiculous.

Oi-oi-oi-oi, do you mind?

I am trying to run a shoot here.

Okay, let's do another one.

And this time, Eric, try slinging your jacket over your shoulder.

Oh, like this?

Yeah, foot up on the stool, that's it.

Look, for the last time, this is not the folly berger.

So will you all quit

now?

Look here.

What?

Madeline, I think it's for you.

Somebody is squeaking down the other end.

Here, let's put the receiver down on the.

Let go, Regard.

On the counter,

there.

Will that do, Madeline?

Yes, perhaps it's best if I translate this bit for you.

It was a call from my publisher.

Madeline!

Babe, hi, it's Gloria from Random Mouse.

Gloria?

Hello?

What can I do for you?

Have you seen Whisker today?

No, sorry, I don't really do social media.

Well, you are all over it like fuzz on a chin chiller.

Your tale of Daring Doe has really captured the public's imagination.

Gosh.

Really?

Here be a deer.

Fetch us another goudalate.

Yeah, you may be familiar with Mr.

Mittens.

He's an influencer Chihuahua from Arizona.

He shared the story to his 30 million followers and it just kept blowing up from there.

Oh, I would.

And let me tell you, pre-orders of your fourth book are through the roof.

Sunday Times bestseller, here

we come.

Anyway, I just wanted to tell you, we're all getting Madeline fever here at the office.

I'll ring back when Hollywood calls.

Ciao for now.

Wow, it's all happening so quickly.

Are we done?

Yes, you can hang up.

Oh.

Uh.

Thank you.

Wrapping up, Madeline.

The question on everybody's lips.

Stilton or Red Leicester?

Controversial.

Right.

I've got everything I need.

Oh, good.

You'll be on your way then.

You can say that again.

Story of the century.

My meeting with the hero mouse by Sidney J.J.

Marler.

Yep, that's great.

I can taste that pulitzer from here.

The The door, out you go.

Cheers, Madeline.

And on behalf of the whole village, thank you for your brave and noble action.

Now's for you, Chapman.

Chapman?

He left already.

You were too busy glaring at Madeline to notice.

What's the matter with you?

Nothing.

I just wish the people would have some perspective, that's all.

You're jealous.

I am not.

Yes, you are.

You're positively green.

You can talk.

It's a condition.

Yes, I'm pleased for you, Madeline.

But but what, Rajad?

Haven't you noticed how many people are coming to the door today?

Even Even if you can't find it in your heart to be proud of Madeline, can't you at least see how good this could be for the business?

Oh, ho, I see.

Anything to get one over on the competition.

You make me sick.

Are you joking?

What is it now?

Hello, only me, just here to iron out the details of Madeline's award ceremony tomorrow.

Can I come in to what you like?

I'm going out.

Oh, my.

Was it something I said?

Yes!

Oh.

The mayor and I agreed on the details for the ceremony.

It was your standard have-ag-o-hero affair, he said.

Key to the village, a couple of funny anecdotes, and then off to the pub.

While this had all been so thrilling, I confess I felt a little overwhelmed, and somewhat awkward, and even.

Yes, I'll say it.

Angry at Rudya's resentment.

There was only one person who could understand what I was going through, and I knew he could provide a stiff drink, too.

Hello?

Oh, Madeline, it's one of you to pop by.

I don't mind me just packing down the bar.

Won't be long now till I wind it up for good.

Oh, ho.

Well, there are still plenty of bottles left.

I'm sure I could mix something up for the mouse that saved my life.

How about a Long Island iced tea with two shots of espresso and a single sprig of thyme?

A long time ago.

After 30 minutes, the espresso kicks in and you shake like a paint mixer.

So, how's life as a local hero?

I'm sad to hear that.

Why?

I should have known it might have been about him.

Hmm?

Oh, I took a correspondence course in Mouse a few years ago.

Usual story, trying to impress a vet, but she wasn't having it, she was married to her work.

And a man from Barnstable, but that's another story.

Cheers.

I've had that feeling.

Some people think being popular makes things easier.

And yes, a lot of the time it does, but it can take its toll all the same.

Gosh, I remember the first autograph I ever signed.

I thought it was a bit much.

I mean, I was only playing at a national league level, not premier, though I had also just delivered their baby.

Well, it's not all roses and children being named after you.

The people here in Piffling welcomed me with open arms, but once you've been embraced like that, that's not just acceptance, it's a commitment.

To help them when help is needed, to put your own feelings aside when other people need you, even when you'd rather just go away and hide somewhere.

Again.

Oh, nothing, nothing.

But uh, what I mean is, when everyone sees you as the one who makes things all right, it's it's tough when you're the one in need and you find yourself alone.

But the other day when that happened to me,

I wasn't.

Thanks to you.

Come on, let's have another round and forget all our troubles.

How about it?

All right.

Now, what next?

Uh, Fuzzy Nazil?

I suppose you've already got one of those.

Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name.

And if the drinks are on the house, that doesn't hurt either.

By the time I returned to fun funerals, I was feeling somewhat merry, shall we say.

And I was in for a big surprise.

How's it looking?

Left a smidgen?

Yes, that'll do, Georgie.

It's an excellent likeness.

You've really captured her ears.

Ah, I'm great at carving affiges of my friends.

This ought to bring them in, eh?

Madeline, you're back.

Where have you been?

Well, that's lovely.

Now, take a look at this.

I followed her pointing finger and gazed up at the sign for fun funerals

to see an image of me in its place.

I couldn't believe it.

There I was, front and centre of the place I'd called home for all these years.

You deserve it, mate.

A proper tribute.

As long as you're happy having your portrait up there, I could always change it to a different mouth.

Phew.

I was bluffing.

I can't do any of the mice.

What's all the commotion?

It's nearly ten o'clock.

We should all have been in bed hours ago.

Oh, you're back, are you?

You've been drinking, I see.

Your ears are drooping.

Budget, don't ruin the moment.

One moment.

You wake me up in the middle of the evening and.

What's happened to the sign?

We changed it.

I can see that.

Why wasn't I informed?

Because you were soaking in your room all day, so I took the decision on behalf of the company.

You approve?

No, I don't.

There's nothing wrong with the old sign.

It's out of date.

It still has by appointment to Emperor Napoleon across the top.

What is it about people and changing things?

Let's change this, let's change that.

We've been breathing oxygen for years.

Why don't we switch to Mercury?

It's because the sign has Madeline on it, isn't it?

No, but some flash-in-the-pan publicity cannot replace the centuries of dedicated work that our family.

Roger!

We've had three new clients today already.

And can you guess why they came to us for their funerals?

Because.

No.

It's because of Madeline.

They saw her picture on the cover of the evening paper.

The article told them that she lived with us.

And so they came to us to do business.

So you turned her into a cheap mascot.

So we gave her pride of place on the front of our home.

Oh, let's go inside.

Thanks for staying on, Georgie.

See you tomorrow.

Yep, best be getting on home.

See you, Madeline.

Son.

No, it doesn't bother me.

I've got more important things to concern myself with.

It is a decent likeness, I suppose.

Especially the ears.

So,

tomorrow's the big day, is it?

The ceremony in your honour.

All those people looking at you?

You're probably not used to it.

The pressure, I mean.

Hmm.

Look, I'll tell you what.

If it's getting too much, just for you,

I can put the old sign back up.

It'd be no trouble.

I am not jealous.

I'm pleased for you, but you must admit all this carry-on is going entirely over the top.

It has nothing to do with my relative lack of popularity and don't bring appreciation into it either.

Remember, I do just as much for you as you do for me.

Don't give me that look.

Name one occasion when I couldn't have handled things without you.

Oh, sure.

Drag up Easter again.

Cash that in when it suits you.

Well, let me tell you now, don't flatter yourself.

It was not a catastrophe.

It was a minor calamity at worse.

I was the one who untied the Reverend before the crucifix fell, and don't you forget it?

Quite frankly, I didn't need you then, and I don't think I ever have done.

So there!

Did I?

Yes.

Yes, I meant it.

Otherwise,

I wouldn't have said it, would I?

Fine.

Well,

good night.

What?

Oh, of course.

I stormed into my mousehole, fuming.

My nerves were jangled, my stomach was churning, my ears felt hot.

I just had to express my feelings.

So I sat myself down at my typewriter and hammered at the keys for all I was worth long into the night.

The following day, the people of Piffling gathered outside the village hall, but the main attraction was nowhere to be seen.

Where is that mouse?

I've got a hungry readership to feed, and I'm not going to be satisfied with the flipping crossword.

Oh, really?

I rather like this morning.

Well, there was only one clue, and it was your name.

Was it?

Madeline!

Where are ya?

Georgie, I'm worried.

Didn't see her at breakfast?

No.

I left out a usual crouton and jumbo no no sign.

Maybe she's grown tired of the pomp and circumstance like the rest of us.

Bajard, aren't you the least bit concerned?

No, Madeline can take care of herself.

She's only a few inches tall.

And a tail of the hun was under five foot.

What's your point?

Right, right, blimey, sole point.

There's a lot of people out there, and in my experience, when a crowd's ready for something marvellous and it doesn't happen, well, we don't want a repeat of the Tamagotchi shortage, do we?

Oh, that's blood.

Yes.

Still, I'm sure everything will be fine.

So am I, Daz.

Eric!

Hey, everyone.

I'm surprised to see you here, Rudyard.

Madeline is a part of fun funerals.

It's only proper that I should be here to show support.

And I spent the whole morning reminding you of all the times Madeline's come through for you in the past.

It's all right.

A floral tribute, the desert island.

Yes, yes.

Fake the seance.

Ha!

Yes, I enjoyed that.

Anyway, Rudyard, I'm glad to see you here.

It'll mean a lot to her to know you came.

Doubtful notice.

I'm born.

Where's Madeline?

Yeah, we want Madeline!

We want Madeline.

We want Madeline.

We want...

Good cruise.

You're making demands.

Behind me.

Hide me behind Roger.

Get your worshipful hands off, madam.

Please, Madeline, we need you.

Wait, look.

There she is upon you.

And yes, give your mother.

Here she is, a very familiar town hero, just as mad and no need for for balance.

We'll see about that.

Madeline, in recognition of your selfless act of valour, it is my supreme pleasure as mayor of Piffling Vale to present you with this miniatured key to the village.

It doesn't open anything, but it's painted gold.

Mad is my goal, isn't it, isn't he?

Roger.

Madeline's meant to be the star of attraction, not him.

Over here, Madame.

Hold that key up.

That's nothing.

What Brissette?

I think she's trying to say something.

Leave it to me.

I speak mouse.

Oh, Madeline has prepared a short speech which she'd like me to read for her.

Thanks, Madeline.

Dear friends, I cannot overstate my gratitude for your display of appreciation here today.

I only did what any one of us would have done in the situation.

But,

nevertheless, everybody!

Everybody, listen, Bill, no offense, it's great to see you, but we are in the middle of something.

It can't wait.

It's the most incredible thing.

You'll never believe it.

What is it, Bill?

Miss Scruple's petiguana has just done a backflip

and it can do it again!

Let's all keep calm.

We've got to see this miracle for ourselves.

Stop, stop!

The ceremony hasn't finished yet!

Bill, I want to go and look at the iguana, but this Victorian ghost is blocking the way.

Antigone, let her pass.

Surely you can wait a few minutes.

No, I can't.

I'm a discerning member of the public and I crave content.

Content!

Content!

This is absolutely typical.

Look at you.

You're like magpies.

The next shiny thing that comes along.

That mouse saved a man's life.

A deeply irritating man, yes.

But nevertheless, she actually did something, and I, for one, am proud to know her.

And yet, the second some reptile with a party trick comes along, you're all off like a shot.

Yes, exactly.

Roger gets it.

We deserve new things.

What do you say?

Wait for me.

Your worship, you can't go with them, you duff mayor.

I don't want to, Miss Crusoe, but this back-flipping lizard could win us the next election.

I'm sorry.

Away they go, pecking away at some other spark in a distraction.

Co-ads!

I'm sorry, Madeline.

That's the fickle finger of fame for you.

One moment it flips your way, and the next flips you off.

Yes, pretty much.

I suppose that's the end of it.

Guess we should go home, modeling.

I think we should hear the end of her speech.

I say the moment's gone, hasn't it?

Roger.

Oh, fine.

It makes her happy.

Where was I?

Ah,

yes.

I only did what any one of us would have done in the situation.

But,

nevertheless, it is my duty to inform you that I owe it all to one person:

the person who gave me shelter, who accepted me with open arms, who made me feel that this truly is my home.

So if you wish to thank me for being a responsible citizen of this village, you must first thank my family at fun funerals.

And, especially, Rudyard Fun,

the man who opened his door to me and always will.

My best friend.

That was

beautiful, Madeline.

Rudyard,

are you all right there?

I think he's having too many emotions.

That's okay, sir.

You can have all the emotions you want.

Thank you.

Let's just pop Madeline in your top pocket there, where she belongs.

You too, Madeline.

You too.

Nestling safe and sound inside Rudyard's top pocket.

I realise that being the flavour of the month is quite the experience.

But it's nothing compared to a few good friends.

It isn't always easy to get on with the ones we love, but I do think it's always worth a go.

The Big Cheese was written by Tom Crowley and edited by David K.

Barnes.

It was performed by Felix Trench as Ruddyard, Beth Eyre as Antigone, Tom Crowley as Eric, Kira Baxendale as Georgie, Sean Baker as The Mayor, Paul Putner as Sid Marlowe, Pip Gladwin as Bill, Emily Stride as Tanya, Rosie Fletcher as Gloria, and Belinda Lang as Madeline, with Mouse Squeaking by Holly Campbell.

Special thanks to Crystal Adaway for the cocktail.

The production manager was Elizabeth Campbell, and the music was composed by James Whittle.

The programme was recorded at the Octagon Brixton and was directed and produced by Andy Goddard and John Wakefield.

The Fable and Falling Network, where fiction producers flourish.

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