Funn Fragments: Eric's Pal

and Alyssa are always trying to outdo each other.

When Alyssa got a small water bottle, Mike showed up with a four-litre jug.

When Mike started gardening, Alyssa started beekeeping.

Oh, come on.

They called a truce for their holiday and used Expedia Trip Planner to collaborate on all the details of their trip.

Once there, Mike still did more laps around the pool.

Whatever.

You were made to outdo your holidays.

We were made to help organize the competition.

Expedia made to travel.

Charlie Sheen is an icon of decadence.

I lit the fuse, and my life turns into everything it wasn't supposed to be.

He's going the distance.

He was the highest-paid TV star of all time.

When it started to change, it was quick.

He kept saying, No, no, no, I'm in the hospital now, but next week I'll be ready for the show.

Now, Charlie's sober.

He's gonna tell you the truth.

How do I present this with any class?

I think we're past that, Charlie.

We're past that, yeah.

Somebody call action.

AKA Charlie Sheen, only on Netflix, September 10th.

Fun fragments of wooden overcoats.

A heavy soul unburdened in

Eric's Pal by Felix Trench.

Right, everyone.

Be very careful where you step.

How many fingers have we found?

I've only got one.

Georgie, how about you?

Three.

But none of them are index fingers.

Oh, dear.

We can't have lost any, can we?

No, no, no.

Keep looking.

I'm sure they'll turn up.

Ah.

Hello there, Rudyard.

Antigone?

Georgie?

Hi, Eric.

Oh, look.

This might be a knuckle.

Yes, I think it is.

What are you lot up to?

Uh, the shark hunter, Mr.

Whitaker.

He fell off the pier and straight through his fishing net.

He was diet into lots of little pieces.

Oh, I see.

Hmm.

His brother brought him over in in a shopping bag.

We're trying to put the body back together again.

It's like a massive jigsaw.

Get involved.

No, no, that's all right.

Actually, I've had a bit of a gloomy day.

Hold on.

What's this?

Oh, good.

Navicula over here with the feet.

Hmm.

Yes, well, I thought I might come back.

Yeah, hang on, Eric.

This one?

Uh, part of the trapezius?

Yeah, trapezius here.

Yes.

You know, I just thought I'd come by and uh see if anyone's.

Is this part of a lung?

It's always part of a lung.

Let me feel it.

No, not lung.

It's from his ball hat.

Oh yes, of course.

You were saying, Chapman?

Oh, no.

Nothing really.

You know.

Nothing really.

Good, good.

I suppose I just...

I think I've built his neek up.

Impossible I've done them both.

What about this?

Is that a thumb or a toe?

That's a big toe!

Wonderful!

You know those days when you wake up and you think,

this is it.

A new me.

I'm off.

I'm just thrilled by this morning.

And then somehow it's noon.

Eric, what are you on about?

Georgie, no.

Well, seeing as you ask, I'm

not feeling too chipper.

Oh, really?

You see, my pen pal stopped writing.

What did you say?

My pen pal, Strahil, always wore a suit.

Lovely guy.

We met in Venezuela.

That summer I was fixing jet skis.

Strahiel.

He's Bulgarian.

You speak Bulgarian, of course.

No, actually.

But we both spoke Mandarin, so that helped.

We played correspondence chess in our letters.

BG4H6.

What does that mean?

Bishop on G42H6.

He's a national champion.

In fact, the first time I beat him, his city flew me out for a champagne dinner.

Can you believe it?

This has to be an eyebrow.

It could be a moustache.

Let's keep an open mind.

He led a very full life.

Two daughters, each from a different marriage.

He gave me an idea of what it's like to be a dad.

I hadn't thought about it before.

It's not too late.

I'd be a good dad.

Well, I hope I would.

Then he retired early.

Should he write his book?

He did, eventually.

Small publisher.

He writes poetry.

There's one about a bicycle.

Bicycles are for people, not poetry.

Should they buy a smaller house?

They did.

He did me a sketch.

You'll have seen it in the foyer.

It has a stone staircase, little alley, cobbles.

I love cobbles, don't you?

I'm taking it.

You've got some pelvis in your hand.

Yes, I know, Georgie.

Thank you.

I don't need it yet.

So we kept in touch, and then the strangest thing.

About a year ago, I stopped hearing from him.

Just like that.

Just stopped.

I thought, you know, he was busy, but we were halfway through a game.

His rook was in trouble.

His rook!

I wrote follow-ups, but nothing came back.

Nothing.

Yes, I'm sorry about that, Chapman.

That's very distressing.

Um, could you hold his teeth?

Oh, sure.

I do hope he's all right.

We used to go diving together.

I get all the tanks and snorkels, but he'd just laugh at me, take a deep breath, and jump in.

Me in scuba gear, he in a lamb's wool suit.

I can't imagine anyone like that getting ill.

Just because you haven't heard from him doesn't mean he's sick.

He could be sick of you.

Georgie.

We were all thinking it.

A year, though.

A whole year ago today.

Just gnaws at you, and

well,

when you lose one friend,

you sort of need the other ones.

Don't you?

Yes!

Thank goodness!

I found a nostril!

Oh, well done, Rajard.

Now we have a pair.

Well, I just wanted to get it off my chest, really.

See if you guys had any advice.

Oh!

Oh, well, you know.

When you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back.

It depends on the abyss.

Yes, hop in and find out.

I suppose things must end.

That's the one thing we all know in this job, isn't it?

Things must end.

Yes.

Well, I'm sure you're right.

Are you?

Are you?

Am I?

I don't know.

Now that you say it, Rudyard, perhaps.

Yes, perhaps I'm wrong.

Maybe every sad ending brings the promise of a happy beginning.

Or the threat.

Or the threat.

Yes.

Strahiel may have stopped writing to me, but something new is coming my way.

This could just be his way of telling me me to get on with my life, couldn't it?

I had those teeth back now.

Do please.

Strahill opened his arms and let the world in, and I must remember to do the same.

Never look back, or you'll miss what's in front of you.

A man turned into a jigsaw puzzle.

I'll never find out what happens to his last rook.

And maybe I like the mystery.

Thank you, Funs.

Thank you, Georgie.

I can't find his nipples anywhere.

You enjoy your afternoon.

I'm off to find a new adventure.

Hello, Sid.

Oh, you've got a musket.

Fingers!

Eight, nine, ten.

Eleven.

They just keep going, don't they?

Roger.

Hmm.

Are you stealing Chapman's post?

Of course I am.

Shock face.

You know you can never stop now.

I don't intend to.

Not until I crack that code.

Jess.

You'll never fool us.

Eric's Pal was written by Felix Trench and was performed by Felix Trench as Redyard, Beth Eyre as Antigone, Tom Crowley as Eric and Kira Baxendale as Georgie.

The script was edited by David K.

Barnes and the production manager was Elizabeth Campbell.

Music composed by James Whittle.

The programme was recorded at the Coach House Studio and was directed and produced by Andy Goddard and John Wakefield.

The Fable and Falling Network, where fiction producers flourish.

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