Season 2 Episode 3: Take a Letter, Miss Crusoe!

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Charlie Sheen is an icon of decadence.

I lit the fuse, and my life turns into everything it wasn't supposed to be.

He's going the distance.

He was the highest-paid TV star of all time.

When it started to change, it was quick.

He kept saying, No, no, no, I'm in the hospital now, but next week I'll be ready for the show.

Now, Charlie's sober.

He's gonna tell you the truth.

How do I present this with any class?

I think we're past that, Charlie.

We're past that, yeah.

Somebody call action.

AKA Charlie Sheen, only on Netflix, September 10th.

Radyad Fun runs a funeral home in the village of Piffling Vale.

He used to run it by himself.

He doesn't anymore.

And whilst he and Antigone continue to argue, Georgie is getting fed up.

A change of vocation is what she needs.

And that's exactly what she'll get.

Wooden Overcoats by David K.

Barnes.

Season 2, Episode 3.

Take a letter, Miss Crusoe.

Oh, come on.

This is just...

It was in my hand a moment ago.

It wasn't an easy life for the Mayor of Piffling Vale.

His secretary, Marjorie, had effectively resigned from her post when she'd been convicted for multiple murder.

Since when the mayor had worked alone, which was frustrating for all concerned.

Where could it be?

Ah, then in a waste paper basket.

Just a minute.

Oh, blast it.

Oh, for the love of.

Who is this, Charlie, anyway?

Hello!

Look!

This had better be important.

You've broken one of my favorite glasses.

Uh-huh.

Innocent until proven guilty.

Let me tell you, I run this village.

Hello, Desi!

Sorry.

Shan't be a tick, Nigel.

And another thing.

We are very nearly a...

What was it?

Yes, I know the swamps are dangerous, Mrs.

Frangipani, but you'd have to be a prize pillock to go anywhere near them, wouldn't you?

What?

Ah, well, I'm sure we can find you another husband in the fullness of time, Mrs.

Frangipany.

But

yes,

sorry, yes.

I'll put up some warning signs right away.

Sorry, Mrs.

Frangipani.

Bye, bye, bye.

Oh, my god, it's relentless.

How am I meant to turn this village into a town with all this going on?

You poor old man.

And there are people in reception waiting to see me.

You're working too hard, I keep telling you.

And now, I've lost my stamper for doing my special documents.

It was using my hand just now, so where is it?

Try the other hand.

What?

Ah!

Yes, here we are.

Well,

there.

Good as new.

Come on, you.

I'm taking you for a richly deserved lunch.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I can't.

I've got to sort out this swamp business, and then I'm seeing the Pushkin twins about the petting zoo.

They want to stop people touching the animals.

And after that, I've got to go to the...

But, Desmond!

Don't you remember?

We're supposed to be spending the day together.

It's your birthday, isn't it?

No.

Oh, thank God.

It's yours.

I'm meant to be at a funeral right now.

I took the whole day off for you.

It's not on, Desmond.

I'm sorry, Nigel.

I know you're usually kept very busy, but there are limits.

You've even forgotten to dress yourself.

Hmm, I thought it was a bit drafty.

That does it.

You're getting yourself a secretary.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I can't do that.

Just because your last one became a serial killer doesn't mean the next one will.

Yes, but you see,

they might.

You need your life back.

I never get to see you anymore.

How about going out Sunday?

I'm the Reverend.

That's the only day I know I'm working.

Oh, we could share some corn at the petting zoo.

Or um, Desmond, well, this is my final word.

You can get yourself a new secretary, or you'll be looking for a new vicar!

Oh,

crumbs.

Now, pull yourself together, Desmond.

You're going to find yourself a new secretary.

Yes, I think I'll put some clothes on first.

Meanwhile, the fun funeral that Reverend Wavering had successfully dodged was getting off to a slow start on Pifling Beach.

Come on, on, Georgia.

We need a grave and we need it now.

Um.

Flying!

Rodjard, everyone's getting cold, wet, and bored.

What's the hold-up?

Have you ever tried to dig a grave in the sand when it's raining and the tide's coming in?

I thought you said you were great at that.

Yeah, well, I've got a shovel.

You'll have to make do with the bucket and space.

These are for children.

Look, for the last time, we are not asking a child to dig a grave for us.

I was outvoted on that one, and I'll have to accept it, so keep digging.

Oh, it's another fiasco.

Not even the vicar's turned up.

Bill's doing it.

Bill?

What does he know about doing a service?

I always read the Bibles and was one up on the vicar.

Hey, Rodjard, are we doing a funeral or what?

We'll keep you posted, Bill.

Pastor Georgie.

I.

I'm just trying.

Oh, at least things can't get any worse.

Afternoon, everyone.

Thanks, Antigone.

Funeral on the beach.

Lovely idea.

Uh, where's the coffin?

Oh, it's over.

Georgie, where's the coffin?

The tide took it out, floated away.

Look

for the love.

Don't worry, Rudyard, I'll get it.

I was about to go for a swim anyway.

You're wearing a suit.

Not anymore.

Good God.

Antigone, don't look.

You can't tell me what to do.

Anyone care to join me?

No, thank you, Chaplin.

I thought you'd never asked.

Bill!

We'll get your coffin back, Rudyard.

But but but

enjoy yourselves!

Can you believe

that man?

I'm going to stop digging now.

Coming over here, stealing our vicar.

Wearing those trunks, son.

Fars.

At least it's nobody's fault.

Yes, it is.

It's Antigone's.

What do you mean?

Yes, it's to his on the beach.

Make it special.

That was your idea.

You've ruined it.

Stop kicking sand at me.

Stop it.

I demand that you change.

god.

Do you mind if I sit with you?

I suppose.

It's a free village.

And it always will be.

Um,

how are you?

Yeah.

Fine.

You don't look fine.

Oh, it's nothing.

Just they argue, like, all the time.

Who?

Them, you know.

Oh, yes.

Yeah.

Upsetting, is it?

No, just

boring.

Like, really boring.

Yes.

Well, happy birthday, by the way.

You knew?

Yeah.

I'm great with dates.

I see.

You know something?

No?

I really need a new job.

That's funny.

I need a new secretary.

Hmm.

Mr.

Mayor.

Shall we walk and talk?

Yes.

Brill.

Actually, I'm not very good at multitasking.

Okay.

Let's stay here.

Yes, let's.

Elsewhere, I'd been propositioned by a crab, who actually took me out for a few drinks later, and behaved like the perfect gentleman, thank you.

But perhaps more relevantly, Rudyard and Antigone had given up their funeral as a dead loss and tromped back to fun funerals.

It wasn't until the late afternoon they realized that they'd forgotten Georgie and began to grow worried.

Could you have been swept out to sea?

Too good at swimming.

She's quite short.

She'd find a way out.

She'd win.

She wouldn't be.

She'd take over the gang in half an hour and make a fortune in organized crime.

I don't know, maybe she ran away to join the circus.

I nearly did that once.

I I wanted to be a clown.

Really?

I still have the face paint.

Yeah.

Gathering dust.

Madeline, did you see anything there where she went?

What did she say?

She was too busy getting picked up by a crab.

Okay, there's only one thing for it.

What are you doing?

I'm calling up the papers, putting in an advert.

As you're asking everything, it never ever helps.

Oh, shush.

Now, look here, Mr.

Marlowe.

I need your help in advert.

Missing pass and Georgina Crusoe, my assistant, will pay anything.

Maybe not that much.

Or that much.

Look, if you could just stick your head out the window, see if she's there.

I...

Hey, everyone.

Georgie, you alright?

No, we are not all right.

She's been missing for hours.

Where have you been?

It's a little difficult to explain.

I've, um.

I've got a new job.

Actually, that was pretty easy to explain.

What?

Georgie.

I'm sorry, okay.

You have to understand that.

A new job?

What as a mayor's secretary?

You're working for the mayor.

Don't believe it.

We pay taxes to keep him there, and he turns around and steals our assistance.

When do you start?

Tomorrow.

But we've got the Beiderbeck funeral tomorrow night.

By the observatory during the meteor show.

Everything's planned.

Those meteors don't wait for anyone.

I'm sorry.

I'm

leaving.

Georgina, I think you'll find that your contract states.

You never gave me one, and you haven't paid me in months.

Well, it's been a very lean period.

And Digny's had to sell off all her clothes.

She's only got that one dress left.

There's a hole in it.

Wow.

I shan't tell you.

So, frankly, you've picked a fine time to suddenly.

I'm sorry.

Well, it's not about the money, it's you two.

You're not fun anymore.

No fun.

I've never felt more entertaining in all my life.

You never get on.

All you do is fight.

There you are, Tickney.

It is your fault after all.

Hell day.

There!

See, you can't help yourself.

We can change, can't we, Richard?

You first.

Christ alive.

It's too late.

Okay?

I'm sorry.

She's

gone.

Well,

we'll just have to carry on without her, that's all.

Maybe even

replace her.

Could we?

No.

Not really.

It's kind of often, hasn't it?

But you couldn't lift a coffin by yourself.

There followed an evening of stunned silence as the events of the day sank in.

And the next morning, Georgie Crusoe reported to the village hall as the new secretary to Mayor Desmond Desmond himself.

Your desk, your telephone,

some executive stress toys, about half a dozen.

Uh-huh.

And this is your computer, though.

I can't seem to get it working.

Is it plugged in?

That's the sort of question I've hired you to answer.

On it.

Also, I don't like to ask, but

you're not feeling anxious or aggressive towards me at all.

You're fine.

Good.

Well, I've confiscated the letter opener just in case.

I'll leave you to get settled.

Cheers, my lad.

Press that button if you want to get through to me in my office.

Though, if you could pop your head round the door before you do, it's a bit startling otherwise.

Will be, sir.

Okay.

Got my desk.

Got my filing.

Oh.

I'm bored now.

Good morning, Mr.

Chapman.

Oh, um,

hello.

What can we do for you today?

Um,

what

what's happening?

I work here now.

Oh, bliming?

Are you sure?

Yes.

Oh,

liming.

What about fun funerals?

What about fun funerals?

Okay, I'm here for the council meeting.

Why?

I'm the vice chairman.

Let me just look that up.

That story checks out.

You may proceed.

Your computer switched off.

I said proceed.

Yep, sure.

Oh, morning, Rudyard.

Oh, no, I need to talk to Georgia.

Rudyard, what are you doing here?

It gives me no pleasure to say this, but I need to.

Miss Cruzer, come quickly, please.

That's the mayor.

He's in trouble.

I'm coming, you worship.

The door won't open.

You must have locked it from the inside.

Try holding it.

Oh, right.

Georgia, I need to ask.

In a minute.

Okay, Mayor, what's the danger?

I'm ready for it.

It's her.

She's back again.

Who is?

Look at her.

There she is.

Outside.

She doesn't seem too much trouble.

Oh, you wouldn't say that if you had to put up with it.

Put up with what?

There!

There she goes!

She does this for two hours every day.

It's driving me up the wall.

Have you asked her to stop?

I've been glaring at her from this window, but she doesn't take a blind bit of notice.

Don't worry, Des, I have an idea.

I'll invite her out for coffee and ask if she wouldn't mind playing more quietly, or keep it a specific time so you can work around it.

Hey!

Yes,

knock it off!

We're having a meeting!

Sorry!

Oh,

that was also effective.

Miss Crusoe, what can I say?

Please, Mr.

Mayor.

It's what I'm here for.

Ahoy, ahoy!

Here for the powwow!

Oh, yes, excellent.

Come in, everybody!

Miss Cruiser, could you minute the meeting?

Yep.

Won't be second.

Excuse me.

Roger, do you want me to ask something?

Oh, uh, yes, I was wondering if you might be able to.

Yep, I'm just in the meeting, but I won't be long.

Oh, fine, should I just

wait?

Sorry, but now.

Could you take the roll call, Miss Cruiser?

Yep.

So, you're the chairman, Eric's the VC, and we've got Raven Wavering.

Hello, Lady Templar,

and Miss Scruple.

I heard there's a secretary job going.

We've filled it.

Oh, oh, fair enough.

Bye, everyone.

Goodbye.

To begin, Miss Cruiser here is my new secretary, and she's already proving to be quite invaluable.

So she won't go potty like the last one.

Very funny.

Anyway.

You don't need to take that, Desmond.

No, no, no, we'll storm through it.

Ah, Miss Crusoe, could you tell us what's on the agenda today?

Uh

just taxes.

Oh, yes.

Do we think taxes are too high?

I suppose you could say that.

Shall we knock them down a bit?

Yeah, I could do.

All those in favour, say aye.

Aye.

Aye.

Done.

Well, thank you all for coming.

I'll see you again in party, Desmond.

Ah, yes.

Thank you, Nigel.

Miss Crusoe, this bit's off the record, so you can stop writing.

I haven't got a pen.

Exactly.

Now, yesterday was my birthday, apparently, so I thought I'd throw a little party this evening.

You're all invited, of course.

Oh,

the usual thing.

Buffet, karaoke.

Say it under your breath.

Black Jack.

And of course, bring your own booze.

Will there be cheese?

All the cheese you could wish for.

Bombay means.

As to the venue, Nigel and I were thinking the vicarage, but it's a bit small, isn't it, Nigel?

Bit small.

Yes, and doing it in the hall is too much like going to work.

Any ideas, Eric?

Events are your pigeon.

He does have that smashing yacht.

Yes, but we've all been on it, haven't we?

Some of us, many times.

Yes, thank you, Vivian.

Jesus.

Wait a minute.

Of course, I remember now.

There's meant to be a meteor shower happening tonight.

Didn't lay it on yourself, did you?

No, but seriously, it should be spectacular, shooting stars, all sorts, and the best view is from the Piffling Observatory.

The Observatory?

I thought the telescope didn't work.

No, because it's made of cardboard, but we could have the party in the field outside.

Under the stars.

Oh, it sounds so romantic, chappers.

Fantastic idea, Eric.

Just a ticket.

Outside the observatory.

Are you feeling quite well, Miss Cruiser?

I told you.

Potty.

Oh, God.

No, no, I'm fine.

Uh, do you think I could use the toilet?

Oh, by all means.

It's standard.

Rudyard.

Well, there you are.

I've got to head back to the microphone.

You've got a funeral tonight.

Yes, that's what I wanted to see.

Where's it happening again?

By the observatory.

Join the meteor shower.

Yeah, does anyone know about this?

Aside from the family?

No.

I wanted to ask.

Wait there a second.

You were quick.

I don't hang about.

I've been thinking, I'm just not sure about the observatory tonight.

Oh?

Why not?

Well,

you see, Loopy.

Professor Carbuncle might not be up for it.

Professor Carbuncle's up for anything.

Is she, Travers?

Not now, Vivian, but yes.

I mean, we could do it at, I don't know, the lighthouse.

The lighthouse?

Yes, remember?

Where your last secretary killed a man?

Because she was mad.

Thank you.

So I think we're all happy with the observatory.

All those in favour?

What if somebody was already doing something there?

Then they must have submitted an application.

Has that happened, Miss Crusoe?

Not yet.

Then, if anybody is doing something there without permission, then it is illegal and they'll be arrested.

I see.

I need the toilet again.

Well, take your time if you need to.

She seems nice.

Rudyard?

Where are you?

Rudyard!

What's this?

Georgie.

Afraid I had to go.

Lots of work to do for the funeral tonight.

Actually, I was going to try to get you to come back to us.

But I see now that you're already being kept very busy and that Antigone and I must accept

that you don't work for us anymore.

Oh, Rudyard.

You've got a future here.

You might even become mayor yourself one day.

Your sincerely

Rudyard.

P.S., as a final token, please accept these chocolates.

BPS, I heard two of them while I was waiting.

He'll have to find himself another meteor shower

or a different field.

Great, telephone's dead.

I'm afraid so.

Ah, Mr.

Mayor!

I forgot to pay the bill.

I was hoping you could arrange it.

How do I do that?

You phone them up and pay for them.

How can I if the phone doesn't work?

Yes, well, I'll leave you to sort that out.

Oh, one more thing.

We've decided to keep the party tonight on the quiet, if you take my meaning.

A few close friends, quite confidential.

Is that clear, Miss Cruiser?

Gotcha.

Confidential.

Exactly.

Oh, we're having cakes, if you'd like one.

No, thanks.

I don't feel very hungry.

Can I have yours?

Go for it.

On the other side of the village, Fun Funerals was in a state of emergency.

Neither Rudyard nor Antigone had slept in 24 hours, and preparations for the funeral were falling behind.

Oh,

here's the body.

Do you have a coffin yet?

Very nearly.

God, George, you made this look easy.

Oh, I'm sorry I got your tail, Madeline, but you were in the way.

Right, that should do it.

Let's get the body inside.

We can't fit him in that.

Antigone, I'm in no mood to argue.

I was up all night measuring the words.

Yes, and now the coffin is four foot large.

You're quibbling, and we haven't got time for it.

What do you want me to do?

Fold him up?

Seems the most helpful thing to do, yes.

What?

If you can see a better way, I'd love to hear it.

Now, come on.

Oh, bloody hell.

God, Mr.

Beiterbeck's heavy.

Dude, okay, okay.

Right, let's get folded.

I can't do it, Roger.

I can't.

Antigone, we haven't got time.

We've got to finish this, get the flowers, get the moped working.

I'm telling you, it won't start.

Unless you want to carry a coffin up a hill, then we need that moped to try again.

Oh,

Jesus wept.

Get that soot off your face, or they'll think you're a racist.

Oh, why?

Why is this happening?

We know why.

We can kick that fella, put her in a bag, bring her back.

Face it, she's gone!

We must be noble about this.

We've got a funeral in a few hours' time and a hundred things to do, so you've got to keep Mr.

Beidebeck folded while I nail down the lid so he doesn't spring out of the coffin in the middle of the service.

We're not

bad people, are we?

We're fine.

It's everyone else that's a problem.

Now, let's try and force his head down between his knees.

Hey, Georgie.

Georgie, what are you doing here?

Look, sorry, I can't stay long.

The funeral tonight.

What about it?

You can't do it.

I mean, you can do it, but you can't do it the way you want to do it.

Why not?

There's a thing.

There's a thing.

There's a thing.

What thing?

A big thing.

I've heard nothing about a big thing.

Trust me, it's a big thing.

What big thing?

I can't tell you.

Why not?

Because of the thing.

The big thing?

It's a sort of thing I'm not allowed to talk about beyond the fact that it's a thing that buggers up your things, so you've got to do your thing somewhere else, okay?

No, it's not okay.

We've got everything planned.

The family will be here.

I mean, there's a good chance that they'll come to this other thing instead.

What?

Then?

Tell the people.

This is ridiculous, Georgie.

I'm sorry, I'm doing the best I can, but you can't go to the observatory tonight because it's a big thing on that you're not allowed to be at, and I'll probably get the sack if you are.

So, could you please do it somewhere else?

Alright, Georgie.

Well, think about it.

No?

That's the least we can do.

Thanks.

God, you're looking knackered.

Are you okay?

Of course we are.

Just you're covered in grime and soot.

Money skins are gee.

Roll systems go, Georgie.

Very busy.

Good.

Well, uh.

See you later, I guess.

Georgie.

Georgie.

Roger, we can't change the funeral now.

We're not going to.

But if we go, then, Georgie could get the sack and then.

She'll come back to us.

But what about being noble and facing up to things?

It's easy to be noble when there's nothing you can do.

That was then, this was now.

Roger, we can't be that ruthless, can we?

How bitchy does your skin feel?

Very.

Let's get that body folded, shall we?

All right.

I'm sorry, Mr.

Bidebeck.

Oh, dear.

And so, Radiard and Antigone worked hard to meet their meteor shower deadline at the observatory, whilst Georgie threw herself into organizing the mayor's birthday party.

By nine o'clock, the shindig was in full swing.

Okay,

here we go, here we go.

And

oh, baby, do you know what that's worth?

Oh, heaven in the face for earth.

They say heaven, up comes first.

We're recording the face on earth.

No, I'm not sure I believe that one way, yellow.

Oh, shot this.

Let's angry bottom.

Over here, Nigel.

Happy birthday, Desi!

Wow.

Oh,

you darling.

Oh,

very glad.

Hello, you two.

Enjoying yourselves?

Enormously.

And as you suspected, Professor Carbuncle was totally up for it.

Let's all take our pumps off.

Who says we're wearing any?

I love doing things like this.

Reminds you you don't need to have a funeral to have a good time.

Exactly.

Any more ideas in the pipeline?

Oh yes, games nights, singles nights.

Oh, and for couples of a certain spirit, there's the Chapman Swingers Club.

Oh, wonderful.

What's the swinger?

I'll tell you later, Desmond.

I think I need to visit the little reverence room before I get stuck into some limber.

Which way you go, The swamp's not too far away.

You've really done a bang-up job here tonight, Eric.

Oh, Georgie's really the one to thank.

Turns out she's great at organising parties at incredibly short notice.

Where is she, anyway?

I haven't really seen her much.

I think she's at the buffet.

I say, what's for your.

Oh, it's you.

Yep.

I must say you've done a rather smashing job tonight.

You should be very proud.

Cheers.

The mayor seems awfully keen on you.

I said, you mark my words, Desmond.

You want to keep hold of that one.

Sure.

And it's such a relief to know that you're not,

you know, insane.

How's it feel being the new Marjorie?

Prefers to say I'm the only Georgie.

Oh.

How's your cheese?

Oh, yes.

Thank you.

It's very good.

Did you hear something?

Oh, Flick.

Good God.

It's you.

So this is what a big thing looks like!

And he's being obscene.

No, he's not.

Rudyard, what are you doing here?

What we're doing here, Georgie.

We're getting the body in the coffin in the ground on time, like we always do.

Isn't it right, Antigone?

I'm so tired.

Oh my lord, have you brought a coffin to a party?

We weren't invited to the party, were we, Georgie?

Rudyard, you've got to leave.

So Antigone and I have carried this coffin all the way up the hill with our happy band of mourners and our substitute vicar.

Improper lacardone.

Not now, Bill.

So we can give Mr.

Beiderbeck the funeral he deserves.

Isn't that right, Antigone?

Please let me die.

Rudyard, we can't do this now or right.

Just...

Miss Crusoe, Nigel's looking for the limbo stick, so could you...

Hello, your worship.

I do hope you're enjoying yourself.

Oh my god, I'm going to be assassinated, aren't I?

No worries.

Don't mind us, we're just doing our jobs.

This was meant to be a private party, your little grandma.

You know what I say to that, Lady Templar?

What?

Knickers!

This has gone far enough.

Miss Crusoe, I don't know why you decided to ignore my instructions.

I didn't.

But considering how magnificent you've been today, I am willing to overlook it so long as you get rid of them.

Look, why don't we just let them do the funeral and invite them up for a drink call somewhere?

What?

Did you hear what the man just said to me?

Don't you worry, Lady Templar.

Nobody else is seeing saying knickers on my watch.

We're not staying where we're not wanted.

We've got better things to do, haven't we, Antigone?

Antigone, wake up.

Oh, why am I still here?

Time to bury Mr.

Baiderbeck.

Follow us, everyone.

Actually, Roger, I think we all want to go home.

So, Bill,

you two have betrayed me.

Antigone and I shall bury the body without you.

Come along, Antigone.

What extraordinary people?

Yeah,

they're actually pretty great.

Desi!

Desi!

I found the limbo stick!

We're quids in!

Have I missed something?

Rudyard's conducting a funeral over there, that's all.

I hope for their sake they don't go too far.

That's where the swamp is.

What?

Yes, I nearly fell in when I wandered away for a you know what.

But so long as they're careful, they should be absolutely.

I mean, I was just tempting fate there, wasn't I?

I don't believe them.

They've done it again.

Hey, I just heard a splash.

What's going on?

Fun funerals showed up, and now they've fallen into a swamp.

Of course they have.

Right, let's go, Georgie.

We better save them.

Georgie?

She's already gone.

I'm getting too old for this.

It was curtains for Antigone and Ruddyard.

I watched helplessly from the still-floating coffin as they slowly began to sink beneath the murky, gloopy waters of the bubbling swamp.

Don't struggle, Antigone.

You'll sink fast.

Oh, why prolong it?

You've killed us, Rudyard.

Yes.

I'm sorry about that.

Oh,

it's not your fault.

I mean, yes, it is.

Yes, I know it is, but I should have realized something like this would happen and stopped you in advance.

At least we won't have to worry anymore.

From a certain point of view, this is probably the best thing that could have happened to us.

Goodbye, Antigone.

Farewell, Roger.

Hey, you two!

Georgie, I'm going to try and save your lives.

Is that okay?

How?

By using the Reverend's limbo stick.

It's too dangerous to stay back.

Don't listen to her, Georgie.

Don't worry.

I'm great at Paul Vaulting.

Woo!

Yeah!

Whoa, watch yourself, modeling.

Well done, Georgie.

I'll pull you guys up.

You're an actual lifesaver.

And now we just float here safely until we're rescued by...

Hello there.

Need a hand?

Bingo.

Hey, Eric, get us a rope, will ya?

I'll see what I can rustle up.

Stay there.

Enjoy the stars.

And Georgie.

What?

You're amazing.

I know.

Uh, Georgie, um,

I don't know quite how to say this, but yeah,

I'll come back.

You will, couldn't be too much fun.

I can't imagine anybody else I'll be sharing a coffin with in the middle of a swamp.

What about your job with the mayor?

Meh, I'll do ball.

I can handle it.

You just need decent time management.

And you're great at that, presumably.

Thought I'd learn.

Hey, look at that.

What?

It's a meteor.

Look, there's another one.

I think it's starting.

Now,

this is what I call a party.

And as we sat in the middle of the swamp and enjoyed the meteor shower in the skies above us, I reflected that some stories do have a happy ending after all.

Just not many of them.

Take a Letter, Miss Crusoe, was written by David K.

Barnes and was performed by Felix Trench as Ruddiard, Beth Eyre as Antigone, Tom Crowley as Eric, Kira Baxendale as Georgie, Sean Baker as The Mayor, Andy Seacombe as Reverend Wavering, Katrina Knox as Lady Templar, Ellie Dickens as Miss Scruple, and Belinda Lang as Madeline.

With additional voices by Holly Campbell, Pip Gladwin, and Maxwell Tyler.

Original music composed by James Whittle.

The program was recorded at the Art Space Studios by Tom Guillieron and was directed and produced by Andy Goddard and John Wakefield.

The Fable and Folly Network, where fiction producers flourish.

Mike and Alyssa are always trying to outdo each other.

When Alyssa got a small water bottle, Mike showed up with a four-liter jug.

When Mike started gardening, Alyssa started beekeeping.

Oh, come on.

They called a truce for their holiday and used Expedia Trip Planner to collaborate on all the details of their trip.

Once there, Mike still did more laps around the pool.

Whatever.

You were made to outdo your holidays.

We were made to help organize the competition.

Expedia, made to travel.