The Horner Corner with Grant O'Brien!

Hello, everybody, and welcome to The Horner Corner, the part of our rich, narrative-driven podcast where we share the wealth of our very cursed, very online knowledge with our unsuspecting friends.

And we have a guest unsuspecting friend for you all today.

Everyone say hello to Gran O'Brien.

Hello.

Hello, everyone.

I will say I am actually suspecting.

I actually, I feel like I'm coming in with a lot of suspecting of horniness.

So if that's interesting,

I can come in more virginal if you'd like, but

I'm ready for some nastiness.

We want sort of that mix.

You know, it's the virgin whore color, right?

You're a virgin in that

you have not listened to the podcast.

Your ears, they are unspoiled, fresh as the driven snow.

It's just tiny.

Oh my gosh.

Yes, yes.

Hope you cry a little bit.

Yeah, well, it's just so emotional.

It's not bad.

It's just

so overwhelming, you know?

Yes, yes.

And

we'll try to be gentle with our aural

people, but only at first.

I'd ask for nothing less.

Excellent.

Abria, what are we doing today?

Yeah, today we are just playing a not at all elevated version of Smash or Pass with prominent NPCs from the first book of The Wizard, the Witch, and the Wild One.

Some of these characters are complex and powerful spirits of the land or embodiments of high-minded concepts.

Some are witches, bridging the mortal world and the spirit world and serving as wise and powerful arbiters in the constant and growing tensions between these two sides.

And some of them are just straight-up dudes that that we have pants feelings about.

Just some guys.

Just some guys.

Sometimes you just get a little horned up about a guy.

Sometimes.

Yeah, it's the bisexual struggle.

I know.

Isn't it fun?

It is fun.

It is fun.

It is fun.

All those, there are so many good-looking people in the world.

It really is.

It's just very pleasant.

And when you use your imagination,

and using your imagination, I cast everyone as hot.

So,

yeah, right?

Yeah.

DD.

Why would you not?

It's aesthetic.

It's joyful.

You get it.

You get it.

The most important thing I want to mention, though, is that each and every one of the characters we are discussing is voiced by friend of the horner corner, Brennan Lee Mulligan.

So we are just talking about how much we want to fuck Brennan's little voices.

And that's important.

Great.

I mean, and I might start at some point just on Brennan himself.

That might just be where I can.

We'll find out.

We'll find out.

Anything could happen.

It's an improvised space

okay

Erica with that in mind are you ready to kick this off

oh I am so ready

excellent so so first up we have the great bear who is a father a daddy of one of our characters he is a bear who is the size of a semi-truck with fur thick as night and he's flowers growing within him and moss at his ankles where the mud and water through which he travels allow for the sweet smell of honeysuckle to cling to his fur.

On his back, there are thatched pieces of branches and trees sprouting.

The smell of moss, earth, and sweet jasmine flows from his enormous frame.

He has great eyes that are deep hazel and brown and gold, and they shimmer with the wonder of the deep forest of the spirits.

And it is said that one look from his eye can strike fear into the heart of the bravest mortal man.

Sharp fangs, sharper than any sword or spear of mortal kind.

He is a source of wonder and noise and joy.

And here, he has children, you know, and he will warn you up front, and you will know because they herald his approach with a great wild rumpus.

He has hundreds of these

illegitimate children.

Oh, so you don't fuck with Don, but

no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Don't have children.

No, no, I don't fuck with the children.

Okay, okay, but they're spirits.

So, like, are they children?

Well, and that's a good point.

I just don't like that they're so out of control.

What's this rumbus?

No, no.

That's fair.

Behave yourselves, children.

They are forces like their father of nature, and they all love sleeping and eating and dancing.

And again, he is, I cannot stress to you enough, he is a literal bear.

Yeah, he's a big bear.

Yes.

Okay.

So, and let's be clear.

That was a big description.

It's longer in the show.

So we were giving you the, like, abridged.

He is a social

description

of.

I have

two thoughts that are kind of conflicting so far.

First of all.

Well, listener, if you'd like to hear Grant's questions and eventual choice, will it be surrender in the forest grass face down up ass?

Or will he hightail it through the door of ivy away from the great bear?

Why, to freedom, to find out, you'll have to join us on the Patreon.

Why am I talking like this?

It's the music.

Ha ha!

Come, join us on the Patreon

if you dare.