Israel w/ Geoffrey Asmus | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

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I mean, the RLC doesn't exist anymore.

Really?

It's dried up.

It's like a crazy thing.

No one talks about it.

It really doesn't exist anymore.

What?

It's all dried up.

No.

There's like maybe 10% of it still is there.

It's all dried up.

The Arl C is.

This whole sea?

It's all like dried up or only seasonal.

Yeah.

I like these.

Well, you're like a buff.

Yeah, who knows?

I don't know.

I like these borders because the flat ones, because that's definitely decided by some guy in England.

You know, he's just like, it's at 69.5 degrees from Greenwich Village.

Yeah, Like this is along either a river or a

top of a mountain range.

Yeah.

You know, but the flat ones.

It's always like, yeah, like the Sudan, Egypt one, the Chad, Libya.

They fought over that for a long time.

Yeah, like this Suez Canal, whatever, I think that is.

Like, I get it.

That makes sense.

Yeah, yeah.

It should, it should break there.

That's it, Red Sea.

But yeah, exactly.

These flat ones.

Oh, yeah, all of the Middle East is just completely.

They're just like Bedouin tribes and we're just like, we've lived in all these, we're part of all these countries.

Yeah, yeah.

yeah, yeah.

Now we can't cross the border.

Half a year, halfway over there.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

I was in a, I was outside, I just got back from Ecuador, and I was outside,

I was outside Whole Foods on Union Square, and I passed, some guy had some like art or something that reminded me of Ecuadorian.

And I like, and then I went by, I was like, oh, you from Ecuador?

In Spanish, he goes, no, Peru.

I'm like, oh, really?

He goes, dude, that whole, that's all the same.

It's all the same.

Yeah.

It all used to be the Incan Empire, right?

Yeah.

It was all the exact same shit.

Yeah.

Where you been and where you going?

This is our Reese Travel Show.

Yeah, we're going to talk about travel today.

It's you be tripping.

Yeah.

Well, everybody, welcome to You Be Trippin'.

It's a travel podcast, the only podcast that gives you $10 back every time you listen.

Yeah, that's right.

Huh.

Yeah.

How so?

Well, if they listen,

they can fill out a thing and then they get $10.

Wow, really?

Trying to get it off the ground.

Wow.

Okay.

How do they prove they listened?

You should have a quiz.

I got to be there, I guess.

Oh, you have to be there in person.

I thought it was just something like that.

What if you had like a quiz?

But they had to pass eight out of 10 things.

Yeah, yeah.

What did Jeffrey say at minute 35?

And you got to answer right away.

Then I saw

Kimmel for

Tarantino was on.

Okay.

I think Morgan Murphy was performing, so I got in.

Oh, wow.

And

they had a Tarantino expert go head-to-head with Tarantino on Tarantino tribute.

Oh, see if he knows more about his movies than Tarantino.

He won, I'm sure.

Because people don't realize that we don't think about the art we create as much as they think about it.

He just makes these movies and then he moves on with his fucking life.

This nerd just dedicated his life to it.

Twin Tarantino is like, I have a wife and kids.

I don't think about Jackie Brown every day.

At 603, yeah.

I was with Soda or Norman or something.

They're like, what a John, huh?

You're like, like you mentioned in the podcast, like, which one?

We black out of five years ago.

Yeah, and no one remembers what we're, we're just talking.

We're just trying to pass the time.

Yeah.

Jeffrey is a great comic.

He's

open for me within the last year, and now he's way too big to open for me.

Oh, I would still do it.

We had a great time with Philly.

That was fun.

Yeah, it was.

It was a good time.

And you're also a fucking history buff.

I love history.

Bit of a traveler yourself.

People were mad at me the last, the one we did about military history.

Some American jingoist guys got real mad at me.

Really?

Because I was kind of a little dissing the American narrative of military history.

And there were some guys who were really mad, like ex-soldiers who were like, I'll fucking kill you, man.

That sounds right.

They're just in their PTSD-induced terrors

at night.

19 bottles of Jim Beam later.

Jim Beam is the sign of a guy who's not great with his kids.

That is the guy who watched a friend die in Fallujah, unfortunately.

Yeah.

How is that mic?

Is it not great.

I think it's working.

No, I'm just nervous and fidget.

No, nothing to do with the mic.

This is a different podcast, by the way, than we did before.

This is a different page.

We don't talk about that one, maybe.

It's probably been deleted by now.

No, it's up.

I looked today because I wanted to see

comments again.

I have this list of I got to get back in there and delete them.

You want to get rid of them?

You don't want them?

It's just going to get someone in trouble.

Sure.

That's it.

For the 20 people that are going to listen and enjoy an old podcast, you're just going to have people like, awesome, this is on our new sitcom.

Let me see what I can find.

Right.

Once they have an AI that can crawl through and find all of our problematic statements, it's over.

Can we do that on Twitter when you're behind the VLAs?

You just do a keyboard.

I just deleted Twitter.

I deleted Twitter.

I said some things about fat women in high school that would not have.

I was very in Cell Ajay until I was like 20, probably.

Nice.

I was saying some tough shit.

So where do you want to go today?

What are you going to tell me about?

You travel, right?

I haven't really traveled since I do travel doing comedy now, but I used to travel.

In college, I was lucky enough to study abroad twice.

Whoa.

Thank God.

Yeah.

Two summers, two shorter, but yeah.

Twice, that's unheard of.

It is kind of.

I got lucky enough where I, it's a very long story, but I got a large sum of money from a lawsuit that I was able to pay for a lot of college with.

Really?

I was in an accident as a child, and someone was found liable, and I got a lot of money when I turned 18.

What kind of accident?

I guess we'll just tell the story.

I was in, I don't remember it.

I was only a year and a half old.

Did you get touched?

No, I wish.

That would have been more money.

This was more just violence,

random act of violence.

I was in a car seat and the babysitter left me alone in a car and somehow

I fell off and hung myself on the seat belt.

Somehow she put me in improperly and I fell off and I was like hanging there and I had to go to the hospital.

I died for eight minutes.

My heart and brain stopped in the helicopter on the way to the hospital.

And I didn't know

they sued the babysitter or whatever, the daycare lady.

What's a daycare woman?

Yeah, she's a single person.

I can't remember.

I actually don't know.

I honestly don't.

She's like, I work for four bucks an hour.

Yeah, I think she maybe is living on the street.

I might pass her every day in Washington Square Park.

I don't know.

And I didn't know this happened until I turned 18.

So my parents just sat me down.

They're like, by the way, you almost died when you were 14 months old.

And then I got enough money to pay for college,

which was great.

Wow.

I can't.

I will probably live 10 years less than everyone else, but it was nice.

I got to have a lot of fun in coming.

Man, that babysitter turning around be like, no, fuck.

I would love to meet her.

I would love.

She probably has,

I would love her to come to a show, do a little crowd work.

What do you do?

Yeah.

No.

I work 80 hours a week because some little bitches couldn't stay in his car seat.

But thanks to her negligence, I was able to study abroad in Ireland and Israel.

And Israel.

Nice.

Israel.

I think Ireland's fun, but I think Israel is the more interesting one.

You just don't have Ireland.

The only people I know from Israel are the ones who had my experience.

or the new like Avi Lieberman tours.

What's that?

Ovi Lieberman puts on these tours of Israel.

Okay.

You got to be clean.

So I was never aware of that.

Oh, like comedy to him.

Oh, wow.

So guys like Ian Laura have gone there.

I think Tom Takar did one.

Probably.

Yeah, yeah.

And the black dudes clean up.

Oh, like on stage or in with women or everything.

Oh, I bet.

Yeah.

Because

there aren't many.

God, they just go, and it's like exotic enough.

Some are like, ugh, but the other half are like noise.

Because there are the ones who are ich, like those Ethiopian Jews.

We wish we didn't let them in.

Whether they're the Bene Israel or whatever.

It's crazy how little.

Anyway, I'll let you tell your experience of Israel.

But like, yeah, they're not accepted.

Like, we gotta let them back, the lost tribe, and then, like, yeah, but you're not living among us.

Didn't they have like a long like argument of whether they were Jewish or not?

I think there was like a long time ago.

Yeah, they were just saying it.

It was kind of like the trancing now.

Like, can you just say it?

Yeah, can we just anyone just say they're Jewish?

Because they were like kind of isolated in Ethiopia, right, or something?

And then they found it in Eritrea.

It might have been before.

Or it might have been Eritrea.

Oh, okay, maybe.

Yeah.

And then they're like, we went back in.

I mean, how would they get there all through Egypt and down this way?

It makes no sense.

But Ethiopia was like Christian way for, it's the oldest Christian nation, I think, besides Armenia.

Trivia question.

What's the big, you might know this because you're kind of an expert.

What's the biggest Muslim country?

Indonesia.

Got it.

No one ever thinks that one.

It's by far, I think.

It's like

it's like all, I mean, they're like, yeah.

That's a country I know very little about, honestly.

It's like the third or fourth most populous country.

I know absolutely nothing about it.

Island Nation.

Island Nation.

I know we killed like half a million communists in the 60s or something like that.

Yeah, America armed them and basically said, kill every communist, woman, child.

There's a great story about getting into Brunei and headhunting had gone away and cannibalism.

Oh, yeah.

And then in thinking World War II or one, they were there and then the English or the Americans were like, hey,

you can start that up again if you want.

Oh, really?

If you eat Japanese people,

meat's back on the menu, boys.

That was probably one of the greatest meals of their lives.

Like old men, we haven't gotten to eat people since I was a kid.

Oh, I remember how thigh tasted when I was a little boy.

And now they're going to kill a Japanese.

That would be nice.

That would be nice.

I lived in Jerusalem.

I noticed.

I did study.

Hebrew you?

Hebrew you, yeah.

Hebrew you on, what is it, on the Mount Olives or Mount Carmel or something?

Mount Carmel, yeah.

Yeah, it's Mount Carmel.

Yeah, it's a nice place.

Have you been there?

Yeah, I went through Hebrew U.

It's kind of like stacked on like oh, you went to Hebrew U.

No, but I went by it.

Oh, you went by, yeah, yeah.

I went to Sheba.

Oh, nice.

Yeah, I try to wear something over the nation.

Yeah, what is that?

What is that?

Peace through superior firepower.

Okay, there we go.

Yeah, there we go.

That'll work.

Yeah, I noticed Palestine's not on this map.

This is the they already won the war in this world.

Gaza is already no longer.

This might be before 2005 or 400.

It could possibly be because nothing's really happened country.

South Sudan, though, that's kind of newish.

They got a retrio, which means it's somewhat new.

Yeah, and South Sudan's decently new as well.

Do they have East New York?

They do, and that's 2000.

Those are the three newest countries, I think.

So this could just be a very Jewish map maker.

Could be.

A very Israeli.

Don't want to conflate the two.

Yeah.

That's true.

And, yeah.

Oh.

Hi, everybody.

I'm just breaking in real quick to let you know a little something about the comedian.

I'm Ari Shafir, and I'm holy.

I have Jerusalem syndrome, which means when you go to Jerusalem or Israel or talk about Israel like I am, I'm holier than you.

I think they say it's that you feel holier, but I think I am holier.

Jeffrey has a new stand-up special, a half-hour special on Don't Tell Comedy right now.

Go to the Don't Tell Comedy website,

even YouTube page, and

check out his special.

He's hilarious.

He's like legit one of the better comics in New York City.

You will love him.

I've had him open for me in the past, Philadelphia.

I'm trying to think where else.

Always kills.

Check him out.

Also,

um his other special last white comedian i forget what it's called uh he's also on the road you can get tickets at

white comedian.com he is going to be in

virginia beach

charlie good nights wherever the fuck that is richmond new york wilmington delaware new brunswick chicago milwaukee appleton new york again grand rapids ann arbor

San Francisco at Cobb's and damn the punchline where to work

Boise Phoenix Denver San Antonio Austin Dallas Somerville Portsmouth New Hampshire get all tickets at whitecomedian.com I'll also be doing some stuff myself you guys I've got a new special out right now

on Netflix called America Sweetheart it's just finished its first month and it has already been called the best special of January 14th.

Myself, I'm going to be performing in a bunch of places.

San Antonio was last week.

I've got San Jose, Tampa, Denver.

San Antonio was already.

Atlanta.

Ooh, Denver with Adriana with Colin Teal, Schaumburg, Illinois.

That's it.

Now we're talking.

Atlanta, Portland, Seattle,

Calgary, Edmonton.

Vancouver, Anchorage, Alaska.

The farewell tour is coming to a city new year.

Oh, Jeffree's other special, The Only Funny White Man, is also on.

It's on the 800-pound Gorilla

YouTube page.

Guys,

this is a good episode about Israel.

We didn't play political.

That's pretty cool.

We just got holy.

Come with me.

Get holy.

Don't get political.

Make fun of all the people in the comments.

I'm sure they're getting political.

Make fun of them.

Go, that's not what this is about.

You're a dork.

And that's it.

If you have a postcard to send me from your travels on the road, please send it.

UB Trippin, 151 First Avenue, number 49, New York, New York, 10003.

It's a postcard P.O.

box.

I can only get your postcards.

Only send them from around the world and not from America.

I'll read them at the end of the episode.

Not this week.

Sometimes I do it on the Patreon, but sometimes I do it at the end of the episode.

Not this week.

Because I won't be home.

Unless I do it this week.

Let's get home real quick.

Anyway, the point is, thank you very much.

Subscribe wherever you're watching or listening.

I'm Arisha Fira.

Let's get back to holy, you guys.

We're holier than the rest of the people because we have a travel podcast.

I know how to say goodbye to this one.

It's Shalom, but it's waiting till the outro.

All right, check out Jeffrey.

Oh, and all my stuff is at AriShafir.com.

Merch too.

I got the stay positive shirt, and I got the, oh, I got a new shirt.

Go for a hike shirt.

Did you get the message of the special?

Go for a hike.

Yeah, I got a new t-shirt in the store.

Go for a hike.

Pre-order it right now.

Also, I got new signed vinyls.

I just stopped by the merch company in Nashville.

So I signed vinyls.

This is the Russell Hotel in Nashville.

They have this great thing.

That's what it is, a converted church.

So I figured I should go there to do the Church of the Holy Sepulchre podcast bumper.

Anyway, let's get back to the episode.

Israel with Jeffrey Osmos.

Jeffrey Osmos.

I just released a new half-hour special.

It's on Dotel Comedy's YouTube page, 30 minutes long.

It's amazing.

It's called Cancel Culture Isn't Real.

Please watch it.

Bye.

So tell me about it.

Why'd you go there?

Ah, well, I studied religion in college.

One of my majors was religion, religious studies.

And so obviously, Israel, kind of the homeland of three or four of the big religions.

Isn't it nuts how they come together there?

It is weird.

I mean, I don't really believe in any religion.

I think it's all kind of bullshit, but it is wild that three of them are from this one city.

You get why people fight over it.

They split it up.

Yeah, it's like it's really important to us.

Of course, if you thought Muhammad ascended to heaven or Jesus was killed there, I get why.

Those are all big moments.

I get why you're fighting over it.

You know, know, Ronan Hirschberg.

He has a great joke about Israel-Palestine where he's like, you know, you know, the Muslims and the Jews are violent when the Christians are the sensible ones in the region.

I love that joke.

It's so funny.

But yeah,

I mean, we only took one class, maybe two.

They were both on the conflict, but really, it was mostly to party and hike, if I'm being honest.

That's where we did very well.

I don't remember your history.

Yeah, we did very

little

studying.

So one thing we did, I think the most fun thing we did, Yam-i-Yam.

Does that mean Sea to Sea?

Do you know?

I don't know if Hebrew.

Yam is.

Is Yami.

Sea, yeah, Yami Yam, the Sea to Sea hike.

So we hiked from

the Mediterranean Sea to the Sea of Galilee.

We hiked across the Sea.

Is

there?

Yeah,

it was like Naharia.

We started at Naharia, which is in one of the furthest north cities, right by the border of Lebanon.

And then we marched across.

How long did it take?

Four or five days, but we did cheat.

We got like a 10-mile taxi at one point because we got terribly lost.

We couldn't read the Hebrew map as well as we thought we could.

Wait, you did this on your own?

No, it was me and like three American students and like one guy who was from Israel.

He thought he knew more Hebrew than he really did.

But it wasn't like a college student.

No, no, we did this on our own.

We chose to do this on our own.

It was really cool.

Yeah,

it was probably 120 kilometers total.

We probably actually hiked 100 of it.

My buddy Rolf Pott told me me he did one.

It was Sea of Galilee to following Jesus' footsteps to Jerusalem.

Oh, that'd be cool.

Yeah, and he said it's two people.

It's really,

really religious people who go with crosses on their backs the whole time.

Oh, they do.

Oh, my God.

They do like the stations of the cross type.

And dreadlocked whites.

Really?

I want to do this.

They don't even believe in Jesus.

They're just like, this will be fun.

They just smoke wood.

They do enough mushrooms where they think they are Jesus or something.

Like, I'm doing it.

Yeah, it's it's not that bad.

Yeah.

Yeah, it was amazing.

And then that area is really cool.

It's kind of like by the Golan Heights, which I'm on the map, but kind of by Syria, it's like very hilly, a lot of like thorn bushes and like little brooks and streams running over.

It's very, and like, I think it was like peach orchards or orange orchards.

I can't remember.

The orchards everywhere.

That's where all the olives are from, too.

It might have been a lot of olives, too, I think.

It was like, oh, olives and oranges, I believe.

Yeah.

And so.

Agricultus.

But all, I was such a, I only brought canned tuna to eat for some reason.

Yeah.

And so I just for four days in a row, I just ate canned tuna with like oily.

And by the end, I had some of the most disgusting shits any human has ever taken.

It was just pure oil and tuna oozing out.

I was so sick.

And my friend got like a worm in her foot.

So like her feet like expanded like 20% so they were busting out of her shoes and she was like

crying.

That's why we had to take the extra taxi as well.

And she was like crying the last like day.

Like, she could barely walk.

Her feet couldn't fit in her shoes anymore.

It was insane.

God damn.

You was like 19?

I was 20, 20, 21.

Yeah.

Did you become legal in Israel?

Like, when you, when you, as soon as you went there, we were like suddenly like

a citizen?

No, you know, like, I've never been able to drink legally before.

Oh, yeah, pretty.

We could drink a little bit in Wisconsin where I went to college, but yeah, it was a lot yeah I mean not legally but not legally

the first place I could drink oh actually no I was in Ireland the summer before so I could drink there we didn't they didn't I didn't party that much in Israel honestly I did a little bit but not not well you got not as much as Ireland

not as much as Ireland yeah I kind of I blacked out like an entire summer there that it would really not be an interesting story honestly because I remember none of them

but the hike was

we were going through a lot of private property it wasn't really a

it wasn't really a trail you should be hiking on.

I mean, there were parts of it that were, but a lot of it we were going through like guys' farms and stuff.

Really?

And there were like a lot of part, there was some part, there was one part where we got lost and there was like barbed wire everywhere.

And we were on like a ravine and there were like mat like

bulls everywhere, like these cows with like the big horns and they were like

charging at us and we had to like evade them while like running under barbed wire in this guy's farm.

It was absolutely insane.

Dude, that's so fun.

It was so fun.

I mean, it was absolutely insane.

And we got lost so many times because our friend Arya, I'm sure he's in Gaza now blasting away some infidels.

You know, we won't get political.

We won't be political.

He was a great guy.

He was a great guy,

but he did not know as much Hebrew as he thought he did, so we could not figure out where we were going.

Yeah, are you trying to find out where

this husband?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure it started at Nahariya.

From there, I couldn't tell you exactly what Tom's.

Let's see if I can find it.

We only really, we made it to a grocery store like halfway through to restock, but otherwise we were pretty much in the middle of nowhere.

And we ran into another kid who was just hiking on his own, too, and he joined us like halfway.

He was doing it for like religious reasons or something.

Really?

Yeah, he was like, I can't remember exactly why, but he was like not,

like, not.

not speaking or something like that or he barely talking like a vow of silence or something?

It was very odd.

Did you find Naharia?

Is that what it was in the far north?

I can't remember.

I'm trying to see where it is on the map here.

Oh, by the way, if you're editing this, I'm sorry.

I just started the video.

Oh, yeah,

it's very far north.

It was by Naharia that we started.

Yeah, and you go to the Sea of Galilee.

And then we went to the Sea of Galilee.

It looks pretty fucking close.

Hold on.

I think it was 100 and.

Naharia there.

Sea of Galilee there.

Wow, you're right up on Lebanon.

Oh, maybe it's not as many miles as I thought it was.

It's only like 20 miles.

I can't see how big that thing is.

Yeah, do.

Yeah, Sea of Galilee.

Maybe we took an incredibly roundabout route.

There's no way to get from where you're saying.

Maybe just say like Tiberias.

Just put like Tiberias instead of Sea of Galilee.

I think it was Tiberius we went to.

I was in a

kibbutz there for

two months.

It's great.

I almost lost it.

Okay, 60 kilometers.

Okay, that's how many hours is that?

14-hour walk.

14-hour walk.

It seemed like way more than But that's probably if you walk on the road.

Yeah, I think we were taking a very route.

Or we were just very out of shape, maybe.

I think we were taking a very route.

Myanmar, we did like a three-day hike, three-day, two-night hike.

Yeah.

And it was like, they'd meet us with lunch everywhere.

They'd be like, all right, so you're going to just drive 20 minutes and meet us like in eight hours.

Oh, that's nice.

And we go over a mountain.

They'd be like, we're just taking a highway run.

Oh, wow.

Wait, what kibbutz?

We stayed in a kibbutz one night.

Kibbutz La V.

Maybe.

I don't know.

We weren't supposed to be there.

We camped out in their soccer fields, basically.

And then the kids chased us away at 2 in the morning.

And we had to run to another.

It's possible.

Yeah, we would take hikes over there.

There's a possibility that's the kibbutz we stayed at.

The cool thing about Tiberia, the sea, what is it called?

The Sea of Galley.

Sea of Galilee.

So you're up here, right?

Imagine you're there.

Yeah.

Like in this region on the beaches they have.

And you're just looking across this pretty big lake, and then there's just the enemy.

Yeah, I know.

I know.

They're all

frolicking.

They're also on beaches.

Can't we just get along?

We both like beaches.

Seems like we have similar interests.

Is that Jordan or Syria across the way?

I think they're eating hummus.

It's probably Jordan, I bet.

North Jordan?

Yeah, it's Jordan because that's the Golan hike.

Yeah, it's

okay.

Yeah, dang.

We might have camped out in your kibbutz.

I'm aware of that because, yeah, we found in a, not a band, but a soccer field at like 11 at night, set up our tents, then like a bunch of kids chased us away away because i i don't know who they thought we were but they're probably used to american tourists doing shit like that and we had to like run for it and what are they gonna do we just we yeah they weren't they were just like throwing little rocks at us or whatever but

it i mean it could could very well be it looked pretty small it was a pretty small what is a kibbutz actually

it's supposed to be utopian utopian it's like a co-op like a socialist co-op they kind of live everybody's got to do something okay so uh a lot of people worked in the that we were with anyway it was like a high school second half of high school we went there a lot of people this was my dorm wow

it did look no fucking that's the exact one

wow it looked a lot like that i don't know if it was the same one but it looked a lot like that Are there a lot of there's a lot of kibbutzes though, right?

Yeah, and they had a program, which definitely they got paid to let these kids in because they're like, oh, we're going to show you how to work.

But they were like, hey, they're not going out.

You got to give us some money.

Oh, right.

Oh, you were like kind of on like a almost work-release program then?

Yeah.

It's like we do basic training somewhere, but they're like, you're not actually going to the army so you're going to pay us to do this experience yeah yeah

what kind of work were you doing just like some people worked in the in the turkey fields in the turkey whatever and they have their dumb waiters uh jonathan levov john poland all these guys and they would come they would they took it seriously what do you mean turkey fields they're raising turkeys oh really just up to their ankles and shit every day and they come home stinking wow some people worked in the nursery some people worked in the kitchen and then a lot of us worked in the avocado fields and our jobs were just to get out of work we'd go the deepest field and just like do nothing.

That's great.

Lay down.

And then the occasional that's where socialism breaks down.

That's where it is because no one wants it really doesn't work.

We're just lazy.

Yeah, yeah.

It could work.

Cow fields other people worked in.

Damn, this is it.

Wow.

Was it actually utopian or was there a dark underbelly a little bit where they had to like force people to work?

Well, obviously you just said they did, but they weren't like physically lashing people, were they or anything?

No, but

I'm sure they're to get anyone to do something like that, there has to

be coercion.

It's got to be like, that's it.

That's if you grew up in a farm, you're like, I don't want to work that.

You're like, well, then we're going to starve this winter.

Right, right.

That's true.

Yeah, for us, it was like I was rebelling against being a grocery bagger at Buyerly's, but they were rebelling against farming.

It was beautiful like that.

Oh, God.

What a beautiful country.

It was, huh?

Beautiful country.

I mean,

you get why they fight for it.

It is very, very beautiful.

Hi, guys.

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Now let's get back to the episode.

You can hear it, right?

I'll just go over there and play it.

Listen, listen to this.

It never stops.

I mean, it's off.

It never stops.

What am I supposed to do?

I'm just going to leave the apartment.

Anyway, back to the episode.

Well, it's where it's beautiful up there, but if you drive from Eilat to

be, it's like, who's fighting over there?

The upper half's very nice.

Jerusalem's a very nice city, but Elat was trash, in my opinion.

It was like 118 degrees.

But like, it's all barren.

That whole drive up until right up almost to get to Tel Aviv.

It's just barren.

Yeah, and you take those buses, and every time we get in the bus, they'd be like, Well, six months ago, a Bedouin tribesman blew up the same bus you're riding today.

And they're like, Oh, cool, great.

When I was there, there was actually no violence, but I got a lot of people.

They always said the Hebrew you kids were okay, were safe.

They always told us, like, be careful, don't go to the Arab quarter.

We're not gonna get political, right?

But be careful, but uh, don't even go to the Christian quarter because you'll get influenced.

Oh, it's the Armenian Christians, right, I think?

Yeah.

I think it's mostly Armenian.

But they said Hebrew youths never had anything because Americans were there.

They know.

Retarded.

Yeah, that's where you get

it.

You'd get the real hammer throw.

Yeah.

No, yeah, I never felt in danger at all.

We would go up Ben Yehuda all.

Bend whatever we do, whatever we wanted.

Tell me about it.

Tell me all about this.

I love the market.

I don't know what quarter that was in in the old city.

The shook, yeah.

That shit was amazing.

You're going through these winding cobblestone streets, everyone's carrying these baskets of spices that we didn't have these spices in Minnesota, or they're not the same quality at least, like just piles of saffron and everything.

Just the best food imaginable.

I mean, just like all these dates, pomegranates.

I just had so much pomegranate juice and like dried dates and all that.

It's just amazing.

It's funny when you get to a place and you're like, hey, this thing that's average here, it costs so much where I live.

Oh, yeah, like, yeah.

Oh, pomegranates are so much.

And they're just like, it's like a nickel they would cut it in half and just grind the juice out of it and give you a cup of it right there it was it was amazing wow it was so good and you realize that like a lot of people who travel realize this but like our food in america is just so laden with these chemicals it's just like not the same it's not the same food really crazy it's like i mean i still eat it and we grew up with it but it's it's just a different taste when i had like when i had our first real pineapple i was like oh my god the fruit and vegetables is like insane.

The meat isn't all that much different, but the fruit and vegetables is just, it's another

flavor squared.

It was like, it doesn't taste like this where I'm from.

It's like the candy version of pineapple tastes like this.

Right, right.

It's like a sour patch pineapple.

Yeah, exactly.

It's in this, the amazing

shawarma there.

I don't know what they call it.

Yeah, it was shawarma, but they had enough.

And they had like these fried eggplants in the pita pocket.

It was so good.

It was just like, no, it was shawarma with fried eggplant, with like tahini and that baba ganoush.

It was so good.

The fried eggplant was what I always remember.

You didn't have to get it with the meat.

Sometimes you could just get the veggie version, obviously, with falafel.

Yeah.

It's those stalls where you get it.

There was all these stalls everywhere.

It's our pizza shop.

We never went, yeah.

They had that.

You never went to a sit-down restaurant, really.

It was just all these food carts and everything.

We actually went to the West Bank one or two days.

Did you really?

Yeah, it was crazy.

Describe it.

It would be hard to describe without getting political.

I'll just describe it.

A little bit of your

time.

I can't remember exactly what city we went to.

We had to go through the wall.

Like, there was special buses you could go through.

You had to get everything checked and everything.

Because a lot of people from the West Bank come to Israel to work, and

it's more a porous border than we think it is, really.

It's like if they're trying to get Mexicans up to pick our stuff, you got to go back tonight, then.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it's like, it's a sundown time, basically, I think.

I think they do have to be out by sundown.

But so we go through the, and my like, God bless her soul, my, like, white feminist friend, she really, it was when, like, this was in like 2010, 2011 when Banksy was like...

Banksy did like a bunch of graffiti on the wall.

And so that was our...

The West Bank wall?

Yeah, that was our big thing is my friend, she wanted to see all the amazing political graffiti.

I can't remember what they were, but it was all just, it's all bullshit, in my opinion.

But we, so we, we walked all along this wall.

Art has never, that's the problem with art.

Like, we're so important, but you've never actually changed it.

Yeah, you're not changing anything.

You're getting a lot of picks and clicks.

Because also, like,

yes, he's making a statement on this wall.

It's like, or you could just go see how they live and see for yourself.

Yeah, that would be a much better way.

Yeah, it's like you're right there.

You actually get the

money he earns to them or something.

But yeah, that kind of art's kind of cynical to me.

But so that was our main goal.

Do you have that kind of schwarma?

Yeah.

Oh,

yeah.

The estinois.

It's so good.

I didn't know it was like a burrito.

It was installed.

Yeah, it was like a bigger one.

You get a pay-to-pocket or you get the big one.

And the estinois are good.

And they had some really spicy sauce.

I don't know what they called it.

Kharif?

Yeah, something.

Yeah, that sounds good.

It just sounds hot.

Oh, really?

Okay, that shit was amazing.

For like the first week, it just destroyed all of our bowels, but then we got used to it.

The fried eggplant was great.

The cello used to have that shit.

Yeah.

And then they got rid of it.

Really?

Yeah, and I was like, like, told that she was like, what the fuck?

You're Israeli.

Yeah, you're Israeli.

Come on.

Yeah.

And she goes, well, we have Frank's.

And I'm like, shut the fuck up.

That's what she replaced it with, was Frank's red eggs.

You know what I'm talking about?

The Harifa.

She's like, we're American now.

We don't know.

I was like,

they can make a lot of money having authentic Israeli cuisine.

But, oh, yeah, so we went to West Bank.

I cannot remember which city, but it is kind of crazy,

whatever you believe, whatever.

But there's like, they have pictures of the martyrs everywhere really of like the what whatever you want to call them

yeah they blew up themselves or i don't think it was all i think it was also people who just died fighting as well but they were pictures of them everywhere that was pretty much all there was honestly just every every wall space had like a guy's name do you have pictures of any of this stuff i don't have that i don't have i don't think we were allowed to take pictures maybe or maybe we were but we didn't i think well this is all you played codes are readily available yeah this is 2010 we didn't we had like a flip phone yeah so also, we wanted to play it pretty cool.

Tourists, our Israeli friend did not come on this journey.

I think he didn't, he didn't want to.

Yeah, he's like, I'm going to skip the West Bank.

So they were, I will say, hottest women I've ever seen in my life in the West Bank.

West Bank, just

gorgeous.

Really?

I mean, Israeli women are beautiful, too, because they're all, there's no fat people in Israel because they're all in the army.

Everyone's in shape in Israel.

I'll give that.

Absolutely.

Palestinian women, there we go.

There we go.

Some beautiful people.

But that's

the creep.

Oh, those are Israeli.

These Israeli soldier babes could kill you at first sight.

What an incredible clickbait title.

I love that.

West Bank hot chicks.

Wow, they really don't do a good job marketing themselves.

That might have been the one I saw.

Wow, they really got to do a better job marketing themselves because I remember them this.

She won Ms.

Palestine.

Yeah, this is not a good look for Free Palestine right here.

Like, okay, a bunch of fours?

Who cares?

Come on.

I remember them being beautiful.

I was also a virgin then, so

that could have painted it in a different way.

Okay, there's some attractive women right there.

But I mean, they were...

Not everyone was like wearing the burqa and everything like I thought either.

They're more Christian there, right?

There's a lot of Christians in the West Bank, too.

Yeah,

I think it's like 5%, but most people don't even know that.

But it's still a million.

Karen Kato came from, he was a Christian, a West Bank Christian.

Right.

Parents were.

And he goes, it's different there.

Sure.

They're just not into the same stuff.

What do you mean?

Oh, like the Christian.

They're just like, let's build a movie theater.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I mean, we imagine they're all like just living Sharia law.

They're just going to movies too and living life in the same way.

I mean, we had some amazing food there.

It was the exact same food they were serving on the other side of the wall.

They just call it something different.

Yeah, it's just a slightly different name.

It's the exact food.

It's exactly that region, huh?

It's just like, they're like, this is Israeli food.

And they're like, this is Palestinian food.

I think we both like the the same thing.

I think we're both eating the same food and shitting the same shit.

I think it was a Palestinian place that opened up near me, a food place.

I joke about there is no Palestinian food.

But then I think it was just Middle Eastern.

And then after October 7th, they were like,

it's actually Palestinian food.

I mean, good marketing.

Good marketing.

You got to go with it when you can.

I respect that.

But the Palestinians, I will, I mean, they were very nice to us because we probably weren't Jewish looking.

I'm sure that had a little bit to do with it.

You really don't.

Yeah.

I don't give off any.

No one in Israel ever mistook me me for a Jewish version.

They have Jewish dorks now?

Yeah.

I look like the grandson of the guy who was hunting for them,

not the fucking...

No one ever thought I was Jewish.

So I think they give you Christians.

Everyone kind of tolerates the Christians.

They're like, okay, Catholics, you're fine.

No one really hated on the Christians.

I noticed that.

It's funny, too, when you like...

When you look at a place through your American or whatever eyes and your lenses, and then you go, it's actually not that for anyone else.

It was like, we want to get to Cuba before it's like ruined because they opened it up when it was still open.

Oh, yeah.

And then my Canadian friend's like, we've been going.

Yeah, we forget that the rest of the world did not embargo Cuba for really no reason.

Yeah.

It's been open.

We're the ones who've been starving the Cuban children.

That was kind of, that was kind of our thing.

You do forget that.

Yeah.

But they do love, I mean,

they like Americans over there.

I mean, the West Bank people were very kind to us.

That's a cool trip.

That was fun.

That was awesome.

Yeah.

We went to Petra, too.

We went to Jordan.

We went to Petra for on a week.

Okay, hold on then.

You got to come back.

We'll do one of those together because I went there too.

Oh, nice.

Wild.

Oh, Petra is legitimately insane.

It makes no sense how it could possibly exist.

Let's do another episode another time.

Okay.

I'm down for that, yeah.

Okay.

Because

that's something that I love history, and there are some things that make no sense.

It makes no sense.

Well, I'll get into it later.

Yeah,

okay, okay.

We also went to Egypt.

We went to Mount Sinai.

We went to

where they found the Ten Commandments and everything.

Are there state trips you can can do?

That was more like, that probably took like four days.

It was a long,

it's a long ordeal to go from Israel to a Middle Eastern country because they don't want...

You actually, we couldn't get an Israeli stamp on our passport because then they wouldn't let us in.

So when we got into Israel, My friend's really good at traveling.

She's like, okay, I want to go to Jordan and Egypt, so we have to make sure to ask, don't stamp our passports.

Otherwise, we can't go on this trip later in our stay or whatever.

It's a sticker.

Yeah, a sticker only.

So you could peel it off.

Yeah, because you could peel it off and then you could put it back on.

And you also didn't want to get it stamped in the Arab countries.

Both sides are not wanting.

Because

what were you doing?

Yeah,

like I was in Egypt.

You were clearly becoming a terrorist.

Yes, me.

I was just drinking.

Yes, I'm wearing the University of Wisconsin shirt.

I am a hardcore freedom fighter now.

But so we took a bus to Mount in the middle.

It's probably in the middle of the sin.

I don't know how far exactly it was, but.

What is it, Mount Sinai?

It was.

I think it's, yeah, it Mount Sinai.

That was the other one.

I can't remember what the other name was.

S-I-N-A.

Yeah, right there.

Yeah.

S-I-N-A.

S-I-N-A-I.

Yeah, Jabel Musa.

Yeah, Mountain of Moses.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, wow.

And it was by some monastery, like St.

Catherine's.

Mount Catherine.

Mount Catherine.

That's where we stayed, I'm pretty sure.

And then we got a...

Oh, yeah.

It was a long drive to get there.

Wait, where the hell is Israel?

Israel's way up there.

It was way

up there.

Wait.

You'd have to zoom out more even.

Oh, it's not even on there?

Oh,

it's just that little tip right at the end.

That's illustrated.

It really goes down there.

Yeah, that was a long, and it was like these Bedouin dudes who drove us down there.

They make a pretty good living just shuttling tourists down there.

How much Bedouins did you meet?

A lot of Bedouins.

We met them in Petra, too.

They kind of guided us around Petra.

They were cool.

I mean, they were definitely trying to hook up with my white female friends, but, you know,

it helped me out.

They are kind of like the gypsies of the Middle East.

Yeah.

They're kind of, I kind of, I kind of like it.

They're more responsive than gypsies.

I think people liked them mostly.

They were pretty cool.

We stayed when we were in Yashiva.

We stayed in a Bedouin experience.

It was the same thing.

We probably paid them.

Oh, yeah.

But they're like, come have our coffee.

Now, do not refuse coffee.

Oh, yeah.

They don't drink tea or coffee.

You have to take it.

Yeah, they always had like a little hookah thing with them.

Like this guy was bringing us around in his donkey.

That was like his best friend.

And he just had tea and hookah, and it was amazing.

Ready to be hooked.

We were like at the top.

No, that was in Sinai.

He just like, at the top of like a crest of the ridge, he just brought out some hookah and we smoked.

What, really?

And he, they have this.

You see shit like this?

Yeah.

Oh, that's exactly where we went right there.

Yeah.

Really?

That's like at the top.

That's the top of the Jabo Musa right there.

It's like an ancient monastery from like the fourth or fifth century.

Really?

Yeah, and you could go all the way to the top and just see this.

It's amazing.

The hike wasn't incredibly hard.

It probably took like like three hours, maybe.

It wasn't incredibly hard, but

you saw that?

Yeah, we saw that.

I mean, you look at the whole fucking world.

Yeah, it's insane.

All these red rocks everywhere for miles you could see for hundreds of miles.

So cool.

That was an amazing thing.

And that's where Moses found the bushes.

That's where they say

they have a bush still that they claim is the burning bush, which

who could possibly believe that?

They claim it's a 2,000-year-old bush or whatever.

Shut up.

That was a little.

Even I'm like, come on.

I went to catch Catholic.

I thought it was burning, though.

Yeah, right.

It's been eternally burning or some shit.

I'm like, I went to Catholic school, but I'm not this far.

They had camels up there and shit?

Yeah, yeah.

We rode the camels to like maybe the base of the place.

Yeah.

Wow, was this shit there that she put out?

Just a slut?

This is the hot Palestinian woman.

There we go.

Dead camels.

It was a lot of like American.

It was almost all American hikers.

I mean, this fucking place rules, bro.

Really cool.

And

I think they had a little gift shop in there where you could buy like tea and honey and all that.

They had had to commodify Moses' Ten Commandments, of course.

Capitalism hits everything.

What are we going to do?

But that was an insane hike.

That was very cool.

Wow.

And this is the terrain.

This is the terrain.

Yeah, it was fairly the hike.

They clearly had made a trail for people to go on, but it was, yeah, it was pretty going up these rock steps and everything, these cliffs on both sides.

We went later in the day because it was like 100 degrees in the heat of the day, so you kind of wait till like 4 p.m.

to go, if I remember correctly.

That's cool.

It was awesome.

An incredible time.

So that was that was fun.

I mean, I don't like believe in this shit anymore, but it is like, oh, I learned about this as a kid.

That's kind of cool.

Does it hit you at all?

A little bit.

You get a feeling that something happened.

They couldn't have made up every single detail.

Do I think that a guy talked to a god who gave him 10 rules?

No, but something probably significant happened on that mountain.

Duncan was telling about Lode, I think.

Uh-huh.

He's like a weird, like,

psycho, psycho-spiritual.

Wait, who's Lode?

Oh, is that Lot?

No.

Oh, and it might not be Lode, but he goes, so when you shit gets passed down a little bit and rewritten, okay, you lose a little something.

Sure.

Like, oh, no, you were talking about, I know what you're talking about.

So it was like the

some people were marked and they were like the outsiders.

And you're like, oh, those might be black people.

Those might be whatever.

But then he goes, no, no, no, it was artists.

And the artists were kind of like, you guys live by yourself.

You do your own thing.

They were kind of the the freaks.

And they weren't marked.

They just had weird haircuts.

Oh, really?

And they have like earrings and shit.

And they were the prophets.

Like,

that's how it filtered down.

Yeah, they just can't live in our society.

They lived on their own.

They did their own thing.

They didn't have job jobs.

Right.

So they were the loser poets back then, too.

They were like the trust fund kids living in the desert at St.

Catherine's Monastery.

Well, because a lot of these monasteries were like, this is like kind of where Christianity started, was like in these deserts and stuff.

They had all these monks who would, the hermits, who would just go into the desert and just kind of chill.

Like them and like 10 other priests would just live in this mountaintop and just pray all day.

All day.

And just do nothing else.

That's like kind of how Christianity started.

And then it got to churches and malls and all that.

But that's how it, that was, those are like, I kind of respect those guys.

I always like the hermits.

Oh, is that the, oh, they had the Muslim prayer there?

There we go.

Yeah, you respect the hermits because why are are you living out there?

You don't want to be here.

They must believe.

They must believe.

There must be something to it.

Otherwise, why be there?

Yeah, they wasted, they're not wasting, but they're dedicating their whole life.

They don't have sex.

They'll just eat honey.

Like, there are guys who just, like, that's all they eat their whole life.

Or there were these guys, my favorite, they're called like the stylites or whatever.

They would just sit on a, live on a pole.

They would just, yeah, it's, yeah, stylites, yeah.

A stylite type of Christian aesthetic.

They would just live on a pillar for like hundreds of days.

That's a real thing.

That's a good thing.

Yeah.

There was like a fad for like a hundred years in like the fifth or fourth century AD.

They would just live on the top of these pillars and people would give them a little food via rope, but they would just live there for years and years.

Simeon the stylite, I think he started it.

And then

a bunch of people just copied him.

Just like people copying Copenhagen.

Yeah.

It's like

it's a fun little thing.

It hurts no one.

Yeah, they just live on the top of a pillar like like that.

Damn.

Just to prove that Jesus was God or something.

Pretty much proves it.

Yeah.

I mean,

as you can see by me not eating bread for 40 years, Jesus came back from the dead.

Clearly.

There's no argument with that.

So that was, I love those.

I remember we learned about those in college.

Damn.

I always remember those.

I mean, then there were the guys who would like whip themselves.

So you would feel like spiritual there?

Because they had

Jerusalem syndrome.

Oh, yeah, that's crazy.

Is that where people think they're like

feeling so spiritual from being around it that they're like, there must be a reason I'm here.

I'm telling you, I'm feeling something.

I'm connected to you.

They actually think they're Jesus.

Oh, wow.

I didn't know it went that far.

I thought they just felt a religiosity.

I didn't know they.

I would love.

Is this a more modern phenomenon or it's been happening forever?

I wonder.

Yeah, let's click on it.

See if we can get the gist of it.

Acute psychotic state observed in tourists and pilgrims who visit Jerusalem.

The main symptom is identification with a character from the Bible exhibiting behaviors which seem to be typical for this character.

That'd be so.

Oh, so it's not just Jesus.

Not Jesus anyway.

It could be a woman who is like a huge whore and she's like, I'm a virgin now.

I'm married.

Come on.

I've never had sex.

Brian, you're lying.

It's not your baby.

It's God's baby.

I've been a virgin the whole time.

Yeah, that'd be funny if someone was like a very minor character.

Oh, I'm the goat herder from John 13.

I'm the goat herder.

You know, like when they have one of those DC or Marvel ones, like, even like Guards of the Galaxy, where half people are like, I've never heard of this one.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, he was in one panel in 45.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, the Japanese T-Monger?

Oh, yeah, of course.

Oh, that's so funny.

I didn't know that.

You know what?

Wow.

Do I think it's...

So you feel like you are, you start quoting it, you're just one of these people.

I could see that.

I'd think...

I think you'd have to be a little deeper in religion in the first place than I was to fall for it, but

I could see it.

I mean, you you go to, I mean, we went to all, they say all the, there's like, this is where Noah was buried, or here's where Jonah, how do you know where Jonah's buried?

The guy from the whale, we found him out of the whale, and now he's buried here.

Or like, we went to Nazareth.

That was where, yeah, wait, was that might have been, is Nazareth in the West Bank?

Did you hear it?

Do you know they're opening up a craft store in Nazareth?

What?

Yeah, they're opening, they're opening a whole plant there.

What do you mean?

Yeah, they're calling it Jesus of Nazareth.

I could not tell if that was going to be a pun or not.

I didn't know where that was going.

Wait, that's what we did in the West Bank because that's where Bethlehem is.

It's in the West Bank.

Yeah.

And so we went to where they say Jesus was born, the manger, the church, and we visited that.

Really?

That was one of the things we did.

I'm almost positive that's in the West Bank.

Yeah, it is.

Because I remember the one.

It's the best.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's it.

Yeah, yeah.

Because they did.

Yeah, because this is a whole thing with.

I mean, you want to go where Jesus is born.

I went to fucking.

That's pretty crazy.

Yeah, I went to where Babe Ruth was born.

Jimi Hendrix.

I went to where my grandma was born.

Like, we got to check out where Jesus was born.

So, yeah, that was, they had like a little main, like, golden thing.

They're like, this is where Jerusalem

landed on earth from his mom's pussy.

And then

everyone was like, going, yeah, that, that, I mean, even I was like, okay, I'll do a little push.

But you got to be at least a little like.

So, like, this, these steps.

Yeah.

They're kind of the original steps.

Or that wall anyway.

They'd probably be the original wall.

They've probably been there 2,000 years.

Yeah.

So when you're touching that, you're like, Jesus touched this.

Yeah.

Or his dad took a load off.

Yeah, he's like, Mary, I can't believe you had sex with God.

He leaned right here.

Yeah.

It's like, that's, I don't know.

I'm going to remember that.

That's a classic like Pascal's wager.

Like, you know, that, whatever it is.

Pascal's wager.

He's like this French philosopher.

He's like, you can either believe in God and God's real, or you either believe in God and then God ends up not being real, or if you don't believe in God and he ends up not being real, you might as well just believe in case he is real.

Right.

You might as well just say a prayer, be a good person, because

if he's not real, then it doesn't matter either way.

You just waste the time.

You might as well just believe in it and, oh, there's a chance it might be real.

It's a safer bet.

It's a safer bet.

Go to confession all the time.

Yeah, yeah.

Go to confession, be a good person.

Maybe you'll get a reward.

Maybe you won't.

So I definitely did get on my knees and I said a little prayer in front of the.

Oh, yeah.

You're in Jesus' birthplace.

You got to say a prayer.

You got to say a prayer.

Did you put a prayer in the Western Wall?

I did.

I did.

I didn't know if that was okay or not.

I think it is.

Okay.

Yeah.

I don't remember what I've put, but we did go to the Western Wall.

Yeah, we went to the Dome of the Rock as well, Al-Aksa.

So I could not, I was definitely not allowed in there.

That is how the Intifada started.

Really?

One of the prime ministers of Israel was like, well, this is ours.

Technically, I'm allowed to go in.

And they were like, dude, we had an unwritten fucking agreement.

This is like the 2001 agreement.

That's how it started.

I didn't know that.

Yeah, the Intifada won.

I mean, not the battles.

Yeah, but like that.

And he goes, I'm going in.

I'm allowed.

And they were like, what the fuck?

Right, right.

Because

that's where they believed Muhammad ascended to heaven, I believe.

But like, Christians are allowed to go.

Right, right.

But it's like, the deal is, you guys don't fucking come here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We won't.

Yeah.

Maybe not a fair deal, but wow, that's, yeah, the Western Wall, I remember.

I wore the Kipa.

I wore the Kipa, I remember.

Look at this.

This is one group's most religious place or top.

Top.

It's their third.

It's their third.

And this right here.

Is that the most...

That's number one for Jews, right?

So last thing.

That's the Western one.

It's the last thing.

So when you pray, you know when you see the Muslims get a tablet out or whatever, or a yoga mat, they start praying?

Yeah.

Jews do that, too.

We just don't go all the way to the ground.

We face here.

Oh, you're facing.

They're facing Mecca.

If you're in Africa, you face north.

Oh,

they've written down exactly where you face.

And in a lot of synagogues, they'll be like, they'll have the line.

They'll be like, right, it's right.

Really?

I love this.

It's directly there.

That's awesome.

There was like a whole rampart, so you could walk to Al-Aqsa, the dome of the rock.

It's very

separate.

I think the rampart's to the right, right there.

Oh, this is the one.

No, the lower right of that.

The lower right.

That's like the

way lower right of the pic.

That thing is the roof of the stairs.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

You go up that way.

You walk over it, and then you get to the dome of the rock.

We weren't allowed in the dome of the rock.

We didn't go tourists.

What the fuck was that?

Oh, this is touring Israel.

Here we go.

Western Wall.

Oh, okay.

That's a bold tour.

Damn, what a fucking accusation it just threw at me.

He lived it.

He lived it.

Come on.

I lived there, yeah.

Yeah, that's it.

Dude, we marched across the city.

I'll do this on my episode of Israel.

In the holy days, I think when it commemorates when the Torah was given.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

And so you stay up all night learning from the Torah.

And then for sun up, the first time you're allowed to pray, you march and dance and sing across the city and pray right there.

To the Western world.

It's just spiritual.

You feel like you're doing it.

It is good to be like a part of something.

That's what atheism, that's why there's no like, I probably am an atheist, but it has no charm to it.

It can't be a practice.

There's no community.

I like, even if it's all fake, I'd love to go to a church potluck and eat meatloaf with my aunts after.

The only thing uniting atheists is their hatred of the other, but they're not really bragging about their own.

Right.

It's like the anti-Trumpers.

Like, you don't love your guy, you just hate the other guy.

Exactly.

And that gets nowhere.

As we can see now.

That goes nowhere.

Yeah.

Oh, I forgot about that area.

That's crazy.

And you stuff these little things into the holes there.

And there's just like...

Do they take them out every day?

I don't know.

I think they just...

I think they don't take them out every day.

I think they just fall out or they just disintegrate.

I guess in water anyway,

because there weren't as many as you'd think, because it was...

fucking packed with people.

Yeah.

And you try to reach up higher so like it's less less crevices.

Right.

Here are yours.

The thing also when we went to the dome of the Rock, it was me and like four.

The Dome of the Rock's beautiful.

The calligraphy on the outside is

dude, the Jew shit.

Well, yours is the runes of what they would say is probably was a much better temple.

So it will be rebuilt one day, right?

Isn't that kind of the goal?

But not in the same spot.

They'll just build another one.

Oh, it's not the same spot?

Oh, nearby.

Oh, okay.

Oh, it's like Megiddo or something, isn't it?

Or something?

I can see it.

It's like, yeah, we got it.

Six bucks over there.

We got a whole park actually.

They got it ready?

They got it ready for you, Jesus.

I mean, I wouldn't be be Jesus, I guess.

Jewish Jesus.

That's our guy.

That's our guy.

I would love to go in there.

That's so pretty, though.

It was beautiful.

We could have gone in, but it was like you had to wait or something.

I can't remember exactly.

But all my female friends, they had to like, they had to cover up.

Even if you're a tourist, like you did, you didn't have to cover up burka and everything, but they had to wear like a little shawl, had to wear long,

cover their legs up.

But you had to do that for some of the Orthodox Jewish people, too.

Be respectful of that.

Be respectful.

Yeah, it was like, yeah, exactly.

I won't bring like non-kosher into my parents' house when I'm there.

If I have some left, I'm like, I'm going to throw this out outside.

Oh, really?

They don't even want to be around me.

I fuck with them.

I don't know.

If I'm in a mosque, I've been in a mosque in Indonesia or in Vietnam.

It's like if they go down to their knees, I'm going down to my knees.

But it's not a political statement.

Just follow when in Rome.

When in Rome, just go for it.

Like when I go back home for Christmas, I have to go to church.

I do all the prayers.

I say they are father or whatever.

Make mom and dad happy.

Exactly.

What pictures do you have?

Yeah, let me see what I have.

I haven't looked at these in a long time.

Let me check these out.

I think it's a lot, unfortunately, of me being drunk, but let's see what we got.

Downloading firm.

Okay, it's just got to download this firmware or something.

Oh, we went to the Dead Sea, too.

Here's a picture of the Dead Sea.

Masada, Dead Sea, and Masada.

Oh, there we go.

Nice.

There's me in the Dead Sea.

The Dead Sea.

Oh, there we go.

Oh, no.

That's you?

That's me right there.

Yeah.

There we go.

That was 2010, 2011.

I can't remember.

But the Dead Sea fucking hurts because it's like, have you been in it?

I never went in.

You never went in?

I had a cut and I didn't go in.

Yeah.

The thing is, you don't realize we all have, I mean, women have that gash.

Like, it does, like, my friends were like, it is painful.

It's just salt.

It's just salt going right, and it goes up your fucking dick.

Like, we all have a little cut at the end of our penis, and it, it stings.

It's not like, it's not a great feeling.

It's not a, wow.

But you float, huh?

It's, you float.

I mean, the.

Does it feel like hard, like foamy?

No, it's well, the ground instead of sand, it's salt.

Right.

It's all salt.

Yeah, it was.

There was like this mud you could buy that we put all over our faces beforehand too.

Like it, like, I don't know, ex full.

I felt like a baby after I came out of it.

It was amazing.

But you couldn't put your head underwater.

That was a big no-no.

You don't want to get all the salt in your eyes.

That would be, if it got in there, you could be an incredible pelicans.

It couldn't get there fucking.

Yeah, it just like, you just get a cataract, I imagine, and it just kicks over immediately.

Are you in a wristband there?

What a doy.

I might have been.

I'm probably wearing a yarmulke.

No, I'm not there, but I had I found a Badger Yarmulka and I wore it everywhere.

Wisconsin.

They had, I mean, they commodify everything.

They'd have these stores with every possible thing you could put on.

Like Bart Simpson Yarmulka is like, I don't know if this is what

I'm saying.

I don't know if this is Elohim intended or what do you call God?

Elohim or Jehovah or Elohim?

We don't say Jehovah.

You don't say Jehovah.

That's Christian, right?

That's an interpretation of Yud.

They don't even say the letters.

They change the Hey to a K.

Oh, they can't say it.

Oh, because it's so holy.

You can't say it.

Because you like the A-R-I, you don't want to say the thing.

Oh, it's like Voldemort.

It'd be like

A-Bar-I.

Oh, because you want to say it.

Because that might be the way you say it.

Oh, because they want to be as far away as possible.

And what would happen if you said it hypothetically?

It's bad.

So it is like...

So Jehovah might have been one of the names, but they're like, only the high priest can say that name.

Really?

And only once a year.

Only once

holiday.

So there's other Elohim you're allowed to say.

There's other names of God you can say.

There's 99 names or something like that or something.

Oh, Yom Kippur.

I thought he just got it once a year.

He's like, fuck, I used it on the second day of the year.

Well, also, what they had was if you were not a real high priest, and you went into this thing and said the name, you would just die instantly.

And so when the Romans took over, like, we'll appoint the high priest.

We'll do our bidding.

Yeah.

And then they went in and he died every year.

Because he would say it.

He would say it and they're like, you're not the one.

Oh,

that's fun.

After the first revolt or whatever.

Wow.

Let's see what we got here.

This is at the end of the Sea of Galilee.

Where are you?

That's me as second from right.

The one bent over, hunched?

Yeah, yeah, hunched over a little bit.

In the Sea of Galilee.

Oh, yeah.

So the thing was, you had to go.

That sounds like you're having so much fun.

So that was one of the better moments of my life.

I can't deny that.

So you would take a bottle of water from the Mediterranean Sea and pour it into the Sea of Galilee.

That was

Sea to Sea.

Apparently, this is the thing that a lot of Israelis do in their late high school, early college period of their life.

Before they go in the army or after.

A lot of them do this hike or whatever.

So that was that was that was after four or five days, no showering.

My friend in the middle, her was the one whose feet were like exploding.

She had so much pus that if you would poke the bottom of her feet, it would just shoot out.

This pus would just like shoot across the room.

Her feet were just like sponges of pus.

It was insane.

It was some some paras some parasite of some sort.

Yeah, it was not.

I'm trying to see what things here are.

Oh, wait.

Where's this?

Where's this?

I can't find the.

Oh,

here's a little Tel Aviv, a little Tel Aviv.

Naked Lady?

I think that was me seeing a gay top.

I think it was probably from the Midwest.

I hadn't seen gay men, honestly.

Were they even gay or were they just male men?

They might have just been like European or Israeli.

Zohan?

Oh, Zohan.

Yeah, yeah.

A lot of that going on.

I mean, look at, zoom in on that guy's bathing suit.

I mean, not much going on.

I mean, it's not much going on.

Is that a Tapas chick?

There were some.

Oh, see, I think that's what I was zooming in on.

That woman's talk.

That was huge for me.

That was huge.

Huge for me.

Tel Aviv was, it's not really, beaches aren't really my scene, but Tel Aviv is like a wild city.

I mean, it's just like a wild, like, it's their Miami.

It's just like a wild, hedonistic, like, they just, they just go for it.

But we went skinny dipping at night because that's not the that's not the story you hear about israel at all that that is the club scene in tel aviv but that is that's what everyone talked about that's so i feel like jerusalem's kind of like holy people don't really party there that often tel aviv's like the party and then haifa's like the one multicultural city that's the one city where like arabs and uh jews live side by side in relative harmony yafo is okay i think yafo too but it's hypha and yafo are like the main two and haifa is where the bahai gardens are.

I didn't get to go there.

Oh, right, because Baha'i is such an interesting religion.

I don't know enough about Baha'i, but here's what I understand.

Yeah.

Maybe I'm wrong, whatever, but what I'm saying is actually, if it's not real, someone should start this one up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They say there are similarities between all religions.

Yes.

And not in every religion, but you see the ones that are in every religion or most religions, thou shalt not kill is a pretty Christians have that, Muslims have that, Jews have that.

So that's probably a direct, more direct word of God thing.

Oh, they found all the similarities.

Yeah.

No bacon, maybe you have that in a couple religions.

Yeah.

So maybe.

You can't mix linen and wool.

That's just one religion.

Right.

That's probably a misinterpretation somewhere along the line.

Sure.

The flood stories in every religion.

So there was probably a great flood at some point.

So that's what Baha'i thinks, or my religion says.

It's like, if you see these similarities, it's probably before it got sidetracked through.

It's probably a little filtering down from God, the true God.

Yeah, it was, it was, wasn't he like killed by the Ottomans, the Baha'i guy?

Oh, really?

The Baha'i prophet?

It's a new religion.

It's only in the 1800s.

One of the few that are allowed into Israel and like do whatever you want.

Them and the Druze are kind of there, too.

I don't know enough about them either.

And there's the Samaritans, too.

There's like a thousand of them left or something like that.

Let's see if there's one thing I remember from Haifa.

I think it was there.

Yeah.

It was like an artist city.

Was that Haifa?

It's very artisty.

Yeah.

Was it Na-Nach Nachman Nachman Muman?

Was it that guy?

What?

Who is that?

Nachman Muman is.

I don't know, but you say every syllable of his name.

Nah, Nach Nachman.

Was he an artist or something?

How do you spell that?

I would have no idea even how to begin to spell that.

Nah, nah, nah,

oh, shit.

What?

Who is this guy?

Oh, yeah.

Do you want me to exit out?

Unplug it?

Oh, Nah, Nach, Nachman, Nachman, Muman.

Yeah, you just say it out loud.

You say the whole thing.

There's signs everywhere saying it to make you say it.

Oh, it's kind of like a like.

Oh, this guy's got a

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt of like Hebrew.

It's kind of like a a little wordplay game.

Oh, it's a breastlove.

What's a breastlove?

It's a community.

It's like the Satmars and the

ones that will say, we want Mashiach now, we want Messiah now.

Oh, yeah, it's like a splinter group of Judaism, kind of.

Yeah.

Like the Christian Messiah

section.

Oh, okay.

Labobitch.

That's the one with the We Want Messiah now.

And they keep saying this Ma, Na, Nach, Nach Nach.

Yeah, see, that's Na, Nach, Nachm.

His word is Nachman.

But they just say each syllable out loud.

Ah, what does Nachman mean?

It's his name.

Oh, it's just this guy's name who started the splinter group or whatever.

I just remember being everywhere.

I'm surprised it's still in my brain.

That is crazy.

I've never heard.

I got to look up that Wikipedia.

Yeah.

That sounds great.

I'm into that.

I love all the splinter groups.

I love that shit.

Who was Nachman?

Nachman Muman.

It's a Kabbalistic formula based on the four Hebrew letters of the name Nachman, referring to the founder founder of the breast of movement, of the breast of the religion.

Wow.

Oh, is he from Ukraine?

It's like a sub.

It's like a Hasid group from Ukraine.

They're colloquially known as the Nanox.

Oh, God.

Wow, that's not bad.

That sounds badass, actually.

Yeah, that's Nanaks.

That's how you get a religion going.

A snappy little phrase like that, you're repeating it 20 years later or whatever.

You haven't thought about it, and it's in your brain.

They did something to over 20 years.

They did something to you there.

That's amazing.

Who's that slut in the bottom left?

Oh, that's my friend Ashley.

That's my friend.

Ashley was cool.

Ashley was cool.

This is they made them.

I guess

Lisa didn't cover up.

Yeah, my favorite.

You have a cigarette in your hand?

No, that's somebody's shit.

No, that's God.

I have this fucking douchey cloth belt.

Belt.

Oh,

I remember that style.

What year was this?

2010, I think.

2011, though.

Actually, it was too late for that.

No, I was not.

It was not in style at all.

God, I can't find this picture of us sunburned.

We got so so sunburned in tel aviv that like all my skin peeled off really disgusting i got like third degree or whatever degree burns all over my body these are mostly just pictures of us partying now that i see it i mean this trip was badass it was insane what i was saying about tel aviv i forgot to say we went skinny dipping at night like one night but like apparently there's like Portuguese man-a-war jellyfish everywhere.

We hadn't been to the ocean during the day, so we just skinnied up at night.

Then the next day we went there and they're like, oh, you you can't swim.

There's these poisonous jellyfish everywhere.

And we, only by the grace of God, did not get stung by one and die.

Like, it's almost like insane that we didn't die

while we were skinny dipping that night, which is crazy.

Interesting.

I'm trying to think.

These are mostly other...

Oh,

this is me.

Hiking.

Yeah, these are all going to be.

Are you about to run out of space?

I did, but Toby made me do a backup mic, and this is why.

Oh, so it's still going?

The other mic is going.

Oh, here we go.

Oh, so mine is done?

No, no, no.

It's a main recording, and then we record it backup.

Oh, nice.

Toby Smart.

Toby Smart stayed this last time.

Who knows how long or this one?

That's huge.

User error is going to be big on this.

Oh, yeah.

What a punk backpacker.

This is me, mid-hike.

There we go.

Dude, that water bottle is the sign of a young hostel staying.

Yeah, I was two-liter bottle.

We were staying in hostels everywhere.

Wow.

I like the hostel life.

A lot of people, I still do it.

I love it.

I'm doing

Europe in like a month.

I'm still, I'm staying in hostels most nuts.

Good for you.

Forget it.

Cheaper, obviously cheaper.

Obviously a worse sleep.

But best way to meet people.

Great way to meet people.

Now, in my older days, I don't do the 16-bedroom.

I do the four or six-bedroom.

Yeah, you like.

I'll pay $3 actually.

Yeah, it's like.

When I was in Guatemala, it was the last time I did it, and I had to lie about which, because it was like two big dorms and then two privates.

Oh, yeah.

And I was like, wait, which dorm are you in?

I'm like, the other one.

Not yours.

Oh, they did.

I didn't want to watch that.

Because I had $12 dollars with a knife and they only have four twelve it's so what a deal

that's the if you travel outside of America and you stay in a hotel I don't really respect you all that much it's not really traveling in my opinion if you're under 40 if you have kids sure stay in a hotel if you're there for the night okay

I mean occasionally you can stay in a hotel but you got to get the hostile experience and find out what to do what's their what's going on here where's the nightmare they'll actually know where to go like instead of like googling they'll tell you these restaurants and then the locals will be like oh no that place fucking sucks it's a tourist trap.

Right.

It's a B or it was good two years ago.

And then new owners, they've marked it.

Oh, my God.

And you go on these, they always have like pub crawls they organize with like the people and stuff.

I didn't do that as much in Israel, but that was more Ireland.

But they have it everywhere.

It's always Australians, too, in the hostels.

It's always these drunk Australians.

I think I would hate them now, but when I was 21, they were the coolest people to ever live.

I'm writing an essay on this on which

race, not race, sorry,

nationality you want in your hostels and why.

Oh, and Australians are the best.

And also the worst.

Because if they get out of hand, and they're very racist,

but they really know how to

party.

They're ready to go at every hour of the day.

They might be a little barfy.

Sure, they'll get a little barfy.

I don't know if they feel like, well, we do.

If you're a woman, maybe don't go alone with an Australian boy or whatever, but they're good people.

They're good.

They are fun.

Always fun.

I'm trying to think of what else we do.

I think that kind of covered a lot of the Petra thing.

We won't talk about that.

that.

We'll do that another time.

I mean, Israel was, I was there for, what, two months, I think.

You'd recommend, I assume.

It is great.

It's an amazing place.

It's crazy the rap it gets versus the reality of when you're just there outside of the borderlands.

Right.

Oh, my God.

There's nothing.

There was no danger.

When we were there, actually, there was no violence.

We were there two months.

There was nothing.

It was completely peaceful.

Maybe I had something to do with that.

Cause and effect.

Who knows?

But yeah, you don't.

I mean,

you see in the news, like, oh, it's all a war, bombs everywhere.

But yeah, I talked to a guy from Yemen, a Uber driver.

Yeah.

And I was like, how is it?

He was like, where are you from?

He said that.

I was like, oh, whoa.

This was like five years ago.

Yeah.

And I was like, he's got family.

He goes, yeah.

I go back and visit.

I'm like, you can go back and visit.

He's like, yeah, it's fine.

I'm like, what?

Yeah.

Oh, that's just the mountains.

Yeah, that's the Houthi.

He probably lives in Aiden or something.

Yeah.

Aiden's like a cosmopolitan.

We just don't even go there.

Yeah.

It's just like how we judge, like, you look at a political map, you're like, red state, blue state.

It's like, not everyone in Oklahoma

It's abortion Yeah, Madison is so liberal Madison's so liberal not as much.

Yeah, it's like things are different.

Yeah, we will That's just how we understand the world It makes the world easier to understand if we're like every

square inch of Yemen is the same but you misconstrue because you're like New York's so liberal like no no no drive 45 minutes or talk to anyone over 50 right talk to like a firefighter from the Bronx

who lives in Throgsnack or whatever there he's got

It's funny.

So where else are you looking to go?

What's your next?

What's next on the neck?

Well, I really want to go to Georgia.

I really want to.

Interesting.

That's been my dream to go to.

I was actually going to teach English there.

Yeah.

And then there was like some political turmoil and they cut the funding and that's why I started stand-up comedy is because I couldn't go to Tbilisi.

Because that's like where like wine began.

There's like a Georgia has a very ancient history.

That's where Jason and the Argonauts where they were sailing and stuff.

I met a guy at a a writing class, and he was a nomad.

He's just like, he was living in Hawaii.

He goes, I don't want.

I saw it.

He said he saw a direct line at the end of his life.

Golf every day, drinking with friends.

And he goes, nah, we got to mix this up.

So now he's a nomad.

Wow.

He's living in Tbilisi.

He lives there?

Just for a while.

Oh, yeah.

For six months when I met him.

I've heard it's amazing.

Yeah.

And they cheap.

Cheap.

Nice.

Yeah, I really want to go there.

You can't really go to Armenia now.

Maybe you can.

I don't know.

I'd love to go to Armenia.

I've been in Turkey.

Turkey was great.

My friend went to Iran.

I would love.

I mean, I would love to go to Iran.

And I was like, isn't that?

And she goes, it's 12 regions of the 60 you can't go to.

Right.

And they tell you which one's ahead of you.

And it's, again, we think they're all just like these Sharia law.

We hate women.

They're mostly like Iran used to be like...

I had to put on some places, other places, fine.

Iran in like the 70s, it was like the...

most cosmopolitan place on earth like tehran

beirut and tehran were like where everyone partied in the 60s and 70s wow it was like known as like and shiraz is supposed to be just beautiful isfahan is like supposed to be one of the most beautiful cities in the mountains there are supposed to be great for hiking.

Oh, I bet.

Oh, I couldn't even imagine.

I would love.

I mean, like, I want to go to, yeah, like Tajikistan would be amazing because it's like, that's the Himalayas and shit.

That's two colors.

That, yeah, that's that's India and China have fought over that.

It's like uninhabited glaciers at 20,000 feet in the air.

I think India owns it.

I think India does own it now because they fought the highest elevated war of all time over that land.

Wow.

They were like fighting at like 23,000 feet for like this.

It's like, what are we doing?

Yeah, why are you...

The Muslim's also half and half.

That's the

Pakistan, China.

I think that's Pakistan, India.

Yeah, that's Pakistan.

That's the Kashmir.

Wow.

I think Pakistan

has most of that.

They've gone to war twice over that.

Yeah.

Wow.

I mean, well, do you know what Bangladesh and Pakistan used to be the same country?

All here?

No, just they were separated.

Wow.

That's when India partitioned in 1947.

They just made all the Muslims go here or there.

That's fucking DC to St.

Louis.

Yeah, no, it's insane.

That's why Bangladesh shit, they rebelled.

Wow.

They're like, we're not going to put up with you

because Pakistan had all the power.

Like, why would we listen to you?

You're 2,000 miles away.

It's crazy.

I mean, God, I could look at a map forever, though.

This is awesome.

This is great.

You like it?

Yeah.

And you forget how fucking massive Russia is.

Forget.

You forget.

I mean, look at this

area of like just nothing there.

That's where we're all going to go when climate change hits.

There's just so much land.

They have an island called October Revolution.

That's, you got to hand it to the Russians.

And then you got to hand it to Norway for keeping this.

You know, Russia.

And Denmark for owning Greenland still.

That's a hundred times the size of Norway.

That's Norway.

It's like, damn, how do you find this little thing?

Anyway.

Yeah, that's great.

Do you have any travel tips?

Travel tips.

Always stay in the hostel.

Always listen to the locals.

Always don't just...

The thing people always do, they go on these

bus tours of the cities.

Those are always trash.

It's like,

maybe once go to it the first day, but do your own thing.

Don't like...

Don't buy a tour or go on a trip where you stay with the same people the whole time.

That's lame.

We're going to bring this up when we did Jordan because we were on one and I kept it at my brother.

Like, ditch them.

Let's go.

Yeah, you can't.

It's just got us here.

You miss it.

You miss it.

Also, I think something something my parents, they won't, they people think the world is so dangerous, but like it's just like we were saying, it's just not as dangerous as you think it is.

Yeah.

Like, I went to the West Bank.

I went to Israel.

Like,

Jordan, Egypt.

We were in Egypt during the, that was during the Arab Spring.

We were in Sinai while the Arab Spring was happening.

Nothing.

Just hiking, having a good time.

It's just like when people are like, I used to live in Chicago.

Everyone's like, oh, Chirac.

I never saw a crime committed.

It's not as bad as you think it is.

Wow.

They want you to be scared.

Enjoy the world.

Enjoy the world.

They want you to scare me.

They're trying to scare you.

I love that.

Yeah.

All right.

Well, Jeffrey Austin has he's got a special on YouTube.

If you want, it's still there.

It's the hold on.

Let me see if I remember it.

I didn't look it up for those.

It's okay.

Greatest white comedian.

Very close.

The only funny white man.

Only funny.

The only funny white man.

Go on there, donate some money to him.

If you've been to Israel and you have a memory or something or some

anything, leave a comment on the YouTube of this.

You'll be tripping pod on YouTube.

and and if you want to go to his account and watch a special Jeffrey's why don't you leave a it is a JeffreyAtm on Instagram

and whitecomedian.com that's my website I bought it years ago it's a joke that keeps on giving nice and I have a podcast called You're an Idiot that's a fun time

every Monday.

Yeah, you'll have to have you do it.

Of course.

I'd love to.

Yeah.

April.

Hell yeah.

Yeah, please.

Thanks, buddy.

Thank you.

Yeah, it was awesome.

I loved it.

It was awesome.

Well, that's the episode, everybody.

Oh, here's what Meta AI says about Jeffrey Osmus.

Jeffrey Osmas,

I spell it wrong, is a rising star in the comedy world known for his sharp wit and irreverent humor.

His latest updates include a nationwide comedy tour in 2025 where he'll be performing at various venues across America.

Fans can catch him live and enjoy his unique brand of comedy.

It's not a unique brand.

Ha ha ha ha.

Meta.

Come on, bro.

Osma has making waves in the comedy scene since 2013.

Oh, this is written by Jeffrey or his people with notable performances just for laughs.

His debut album, Prodigal Little Bitch, reached number one on iTunes in 2021.

Yeah, find him at Jeffrey Osmas, A-S-M-U-S.

I mean,

you got to be able to spell it.

You got to be able to spell it.

G-E-O-F-F-R-E-Y.

Interesting note, when Jeff walked into my podcast studio, he saw, you know that the Fredelin shirt that's that's over the guest's shoulder, the black and red one with white.

No one knows who that is, right?

He knew it on site.

He goes, oh, that's Fredelin from the East Team War Revolutionary Group.

He's such a science, like

social science, political science, poli-sci.

Like, guy, he's so into it.

He has a tour also at whitecomedian.com for all his tickets.

You can see him

coming up in Washington, D.C., Virginia Beach, Raleigh, Richmond, New York City, Wilmington, and then in March, New Brunswick, Chicago, Milwaukee, Appleton, New York, Grand Rapids, Ann Arbor, New York City again, San Francisco doing the double,

the punchline, and Cobb, something I've been trying to do for a fucking long time.

My Jews keep saying no, can't be done.

And his Jews got it done.

In April, Phoenix, Denver, San Antonio, and then in May and June, Austin, Dallas, Somerville, Massachusetts, and Portsmouth, New Hampshire.

Go to whitecomedian.com for everything.

He's also got two specials out.

The Only Funny White Man on his YouTube page.

And there's a new special on Don't Tell.

On Instagram, he is G-E-O-F-F-R-E-Y-A-T-M.

Ask to mouth.

Jeffrey, ask to mouth.

Didn't seem right.

Oh, he's got a, he's got a, uh,

you're an idiot pod every Monday.

Well, I'm every Monday, so come to him later, I guess.

How about that?

How about at?

Catch me outside.

Cash Me Outside.

I've got a tour too.

Tampa, Denver.

San Antonio just passed.

And then I go to Denver.

Wait, Tampa, Denver with Colin Tyrrell.

Steve Simone's in Tampa with me.

Schaumburg, Illinois with Adrian,

then home for three days.

Then

Atlanta, Portland, San Jose.

Second show added in Portland.

Doing this by memory.

Atlanta is a tabernacle.

Get tickets for that right now.

I'm very excited for that show.

ATL.

Asked to laugh.

And then Orlando Fort Lauderdale.

I'm missing something.

San Jose is in there.

I think that might be it.

Seattle,

Vancouver, Calgary, Edmonton to wrap it up.

And then Anchorage in June as my last show

of the year.

And then no shows in all of the rest of 2025 and all of 2026 and then 2027.

If I'm in one of those cities, I ain't going to be back there in 2027 either.

I've already done it, except Denver.

I've already done it.

Denver's a greatest hit show.

So if you have a greatest hits, if you have one of my, leave it in the comments below your favorite bit of mine.

Leave it in the comment.

Or somebody started it and then everyone responded.

How about that?

How about that?

Catch me outside.

Next week, the Are You Garbage Guys, together.

They beat it on separately together.

Talking about an epic trip on Route 66.

Today's episode was produced by Your Mom's House Network, edited by Alan Caffey.

All my tickets are at ArieshFear.com.

You can also see my new special, America's Sweetheart on Netflix right now.

I got a new shirt.

I made a commercial for it already.

The Go for a Hike shirt.

Also, the Stay Positive shirt.

And I believe all the Feidelberg shirts are out.

Maybe they're still there.

I did go into the merch place and I signed a bunch of grinders for you.

And I signed 100.

of the vinyl.

So if you want a signed vinyl, they are back up now on there.

And then only like 400 left total.

Ooh, maybe I'll do a reprint.

I don't know of Jew.

I would like to tell you about some underrated things about Israel that I remember.

I mean, I should do an Israel episode because my Israel is so much different than Jeffrey's.

I was a religious student.

I mean, wildly different.

I remember the hikes.

I remember Jerusalem a lot.

I remember the Schwarmas.

They're delicious.

The Schwarma Eshtenor.

It's like a big, it's pretty much a burrito.

Eshtenor means big.

I don't know.

But you had the pita, the schwarman pita, which was great.

And then the echenor, which was like, what the fuck?

We had a monster challenge once I was there in high school.

Everyone had to drink a mon eat a monster, which was four brownies with four scoops of ice cream over a giant piece of cake.

It was made for four people.

And we just had to see if you could finish it.

Whoever didn't finish it paid for everyone else's.

One guy threw up and we made him drink it out of the bag to finish.

Juice.

Juice be jeweling.

My problem was earlier than the day, I mean, like three hours before, I got hungry and I ate a schwarma estenor.

Not even a regular schwarma.

So dumb.

I failed.

Me and two other people failed.

I had to pay for everybody's.

Not great.

Please follow me on Instagram at Ari Shafir.

At Ari Shafir.

I don't know.

I post like podcast clips on there of not this podcast, but lots else.

Guys, I'm going to have a shit ton coming soon.

I guess it's not worth saying.

Next week for the R U Garbage episode.

Hopefully by next week, I have a

pretty massive announcement.

If it's not for the R U Garbage one, it's for the one after that.

When Giulio Gallerati finally comes in, we go to the Middle East and I wild one.

He has got to come back.

That's, I've been looking forward to this forever.

Anyway, those are the updates.

That's it, you guys.

I'm not even going to tell you about the Patreon because I think we're almost wrapped up and got enough money to send someone around the globe.

And I'm going to start in earnest looking for who that person is.

It's not a patron.

Might be a patron.

Not a patron.

I'm going to shut the Patreon down.

Got another month to get involved.

And then we're going to find someone to send her on a trip.

I mean, like a year-long trip.

It's going to be pretty exciting.

I will tell you the things I missed out on.

Maybe you saw

the bumper there with the dates over in front of

a nice

gorgeous hotel in low frills, really low frills.

No concierge, the Russell Hotel in Nashville.

Look at the fucking Boltons, you guys.

Underrated Nashville.

Fucking Boltons.

And I'm telling you, I like spicy food.

Don't get the hot.

Get the medium.

It still killed me.

But I got the hot last time with Adrian.

And then Adrian, oh, you got to send me a picture of that.

And it's just like, I mean, it's pouring sweat from under my eyes, pouring sweat from the top of the head.

I can handle spicy food.

We're at Bolton spicy chicken in Nashville.

Oh, you got to take your hat off.

You're sweating.

Boltons.

Wow.

No, it's not that hot.

We're just eating spicy chicken.

Don't even get the extreme.

Don't even get the extreme.

And I'm telling you, I like spicy food.

Don't fuck around.

If you like spicy, get the medium at Bolton's.

Honestly, if you don't like spicy, the mild might be too much for you.

Get the medium.

And I was still doing the head sweat.

God damn that fucking.

And then I did busting with the boys, and those guys had it right.

They go, listen, you get it, right?

And you're like, okay, I've satisfied.

It's not good.

But you got a craving.

Kind of like crack.

Kind of like I assume crack is.

Not the most amazing, but you just want it over and over again.

Fuck Hattie Bee's.

I mean, it's good.

Don't get me wrong.

Hattie Booze is great.

I shouldn't say that.

But Boltons, man.

Woo!

Woo!

It's more ghetto, and you can taste it in there.

It just gets you.

Wow.

And they give you two slices of white bread, and you're like, white bread with nothing.

And then you're trying to soak up your mouth on the medium.

I'm a spicy food guy.

Saw a great new band.

The Deltas with a Z, very mellow.

East Austin, saw them at Jane's Hideout.

Fucking cool spot.

Not even a cover chart.

Just like Eat Jambalaya.

Eat Jambalaya and go, Nashville.

Dude, some of these cities, and I got to do an apology to Austin, too.

And probably Vegas.

You know how the hardcore, well, it started with

the Muslims.

And everyone's like, Muslims are out peace, but it's like, that's not the ones we saw.

The ones we saw are bombing shit.

So you have this fringe group that's speaking for the whole group.

And then you have the angry liberals.

And these fringe groups are speaking

for the Maine, but they're not.

The Maine doesn't support what the super crazies do for the liberals.

And the same thing for the conservatives.

Whatever that Project 2025 is.

No conservative, you know, is into that.

That's just these crazy fringes.

They're just not into it.

I don't want to get started fight.

Don't weigh in.

i don't really know what i'm talking about i'm using as a metaphor but all the ones are like who are like i want to put trans people in jail that's none of the conservatives you know and none of the liberals you know are like they just it's just not that that's the online they're showing you

And these cities are showing you something it doesn't really speak for.

They're showing you their downtown area.

If it was New York, it'd be like showing you only Times Square and saying, this is New York City.

It's not New York City.

And Austin is not 6th Street.

I begged Rogan not to open there.

He didn't listen.

And Nashville is not Broadway.

At least Broadway of all of them is based on something.

6th Street in Austin is based on nothing.

Times Square is based on

in between the two, I guess.

But just trash.

And nobody you know fucking goes there.

It's disgusting.

So

I finally went outside in Nashville, away from Broadway.

And it rules.

The bar scene is awesome.

That's all I'm talking about.

What do they call it?

Resale, the cheap clothing that other people wore for a while.

Thrift store.

Oh,

it's great out there in Nashville.

Nashville.

Listen, overrated, ununderrated.

Let's talk to Joe Lisbett.

What's the most overrated cities?

Nashville's up there.

Austin for sure.

Las Vegas, Miami.

But also, if it is overrated, At some point it's going to be missing out on, just like Austin away from 6th Street is still cool.

And SoCo is also fucking lame.

Anywhere where the tourists go, which is everywhere.

Guys, Austin sucks, but there are some cool spots.

You just got to find them.

Nashville, also, you just got to find those cool spots.

It's a fucking massive city that's not what it's based on.

Hey, Ashbury, ain't San Francisco, right?

That's what they sold it on.

Oh, look at these beatniks.

The beatnicks have been gone for a long time.

It's just tech bros now.

That's what Austin is, too.

And Nashville is overrun by fucking conservative talking point people.

It ain't what it used to be.

When I started going there, it was 800,000 people.

And now it's 2 point-something million.

So any of the people you knew from Austin, Nashville, I mean, are the minority now?

It's a reality with these cities.

You got to redo, you got to redo it.

Now, New York stays the same.

New York is the best city.

A lot of rats, though.

Anyway, guys, I don't know what I'm saying.

The point is, go visit Israel.

It's beautiful.

You can get away from, and I know, how come he didn't talk about the politics?

That's not what he was doing there.

He wasn't doing that there.

So we stayed very clear of the politics with Austman, Osmas, very clear.

We're talking about his experience.

I'm not interested in that shit.

And that's why if you didn't listen to my Tucker Carlson fucking thing or my Burt Kreischer fucking episode or any of the people that you thought I had a predisposition for, we're not doing what they're known for.

We're doing travel stuff.

We're focusing on what's best in the world.

I'm not going to get bogged down in an episode about Israel and all the great shwarma with talks about who should be running the governments on either side.

We're just talking about what you did in Israel.

And if all you did was fucking pray in front of the cotel, then so be it.

And if all you did was fuck fuck hookers, then great.

It's got a great molly vibe.

I don't have to give you the whole fucking thing.

I'm not doing that.

But if you're here for experiential shit from different places with a little bit of like, maybe I'll try to do that, then this You Be Tripping podcast is for you.

Please subscribe.

Please leave a comment to let me know if you think there's any people I should have on this podcast that I don't know about.

I'm trying to get Gary Clark Jr.

I'm trying to get Tim Ferriss in.

Obviously, he should be on.

You know, a ton people.

Obviously, Billy Strings would be cool, but I don't know where he's been, to be honest.

So I don't know if he'd be the right one.

But man, he rules.

Anyway, everybody.

Chris Williamson?

Lux Friedman.

Who are the people in Austin away from the stand-up people that would be good?

McConaughey probably got into it.

Anyway, I'm open to suggestions.

I'm Ari Shafir.

This has been You Be Tripping in Israel.

Until next week, with the Are You Garbage Guys going to America because they're trash.

I'm Ari Shafir saying La Hitch Road.

I thought I was going to say Shalom, but La Hitch Road is better.

Okay.

Wow, 14 minutes.

Bye, everybody.