Why Ari Be Trippin: Switzerland w/ Paul Morrissey | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

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This is your apartment.

Old apartment, that was a lounge chair that was on Price's Right.

What?

Yeah, my brother-in-law had a company that made like hyper-allergenic or like good-for-your-back stuff.

And you have to give Price's Right stuff to have it on there.

Yeah.

And they go, you can get it back,

but you have to come pick it up yourself.

That's Price's Rights rules.

So I got Sean Halpin had a pickup truck, and he goes, yeah, I'll go.

So we went and picked it up from Price's Right and got it back.

It had a cooler in the side.

It was the most expensive thing I had in my life.

It was the nicest thing I've ever had.

Wait, how did you get it?

You won it in Price's right?

No, they're done with it.

They're like, you can get it back.

We're not shipping it.

We'll use it as a prize.

If they get it, they get it.

If not, you can come get it back.

So he was like, all right, go get it.

It had a cooler in the side for beers and stuff.

It was the nicest thing in my apartment.

I had those couches of Mitzi, but those were from like the 40s.

That's hilarious.

Yeah, that's what you're sitting on.

I told the fix-it guy to get it.

I broke in later and he didn't get it.

Where you been and where you going?

This is our Reese Travel Show.

Yeah, we're going to talk about travel today.

It's you be trippin', yeah.

Hello, ladies and gentlemen.

Welcome to you be trippin'.

It's a travel podcast.

Every week, I have a guest that takes us to another place in the world that they've been.

It's not a travel blog, it's experiential.

So everybody's trip to a place is different.

And it's the only podcast in the world that accepts both brunettes, blondes, and now gingers.

Also,

it's red.

It's blonde, dude.

Come on.

Take it off again.

Bro.

Sometimes I think I'm joking, but then sometimes I see it.

I'm like, that's red.

Paul Morrissey is today's guest.

Everybody, give a round of applause.

Hello, everybody.

Now, here's why Paul is important, because Paul is a very influential man on my travels.

Sometimes I have people on this podcast and I go sometimes, after the podcast, sometimes before, I'm like, you'll be on here a bunch.

Tom Rhodes has not been on yet.

He's going to be on here a bunch.

Yoshi Yoshi is going to be on a bunch.

He was on one.

His hasn't come out yet.

But we got to talk about this deal we made in Switzerland.

Well, where do you want to go first, or do you want to decide later?

Well, I'll write your.

This is also on your thing.

Where is it?

No, there was like a post that you made about how you started traveling.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

And

so

that's your list.

I think it was during the pandemic.

You got sentimental.

2014.

Yeah, I got sentimental.

China, Denmark, Germany, 2015.

Thailand, the UK.

I'll count Scotland once it's a free country inside the next four years.

Well, I was wrong, but it's close.

Norway, Iceland, Sweden, 2017.

Myanmar, Cambodia, Vietnam, Indonesia, East Timor, Costa Rica, 2018.

Austria, Croatia, Ireland, Belgium, Jordan, Egypt, Turkey, 2020.

Spain, Colombia.

Current country, I don't feel like mentioning yet.

I was in Ecuador.

I was in Ecuador.

I didn't want people to know I was there.

I didn't want them to give me tips so I'd be following their footsteps.

So then look at the last things.

Yes.

Thanks.

But this feels like

an underrated.

Okay.

The last sentence.

Wait, those are in addition to the countries I got to revisit over that time.

Canada, Mexico, Australia, Israel, Iceland, Norway, Switzerland, Sweden, Germany, the UK, Denmark, Thailand, Ireland, and even Switzerland and the Netherlands again.

Sadly, it looks like the country I'm in now will be the only new country I get year.

There's an off chance I could try to make a border run next, it was Ecuador, border run next week just for an overnight trip, but that feels like cheating.

That's why I never covered Belgium.

It was only like a layover.

And at least I got one.

And that's an understandable footnote.

What will hopefully be many more years of travel?

Thanks, Paul.

That Switzerland-Amsterdam trip was the fucking best.

From that bread-filled with melted cheese, Roquette, Lake Montreau, and Glübein to the coffee shops, sex windows, that place with the awesome grilled cheese sandwich.

Yes, it sucks now.

House of Bowls and Frank House, Heineken Factory, and Museum of Torture.

I loved it all the way.

We got to do that motorcycle trip up in Vietnam and make our way into Laos.

So

it must be missing the top part where I say why.

I don't know.

I only saw that part.

Well, the point is, what we made this trip when we went to Switzerland is we made a deal.

We went from Switzerland.

We were already there.

And every comic, I'll give this advice to, if they fly you out somewhere, you can fly, you can ask them to fly you back from somewhere else.

Right, they don't care.

You, I told this to Tony once, I told this to lots of people.

Like, I told this just to Jetsky Johnson recently.

I'm like, tell those guys you're going to fly back a week later.

They don't need you for the flight.

Yeah, yeah.

Go to New Zealand.

Go somewhere.

So we were like, let's have them fly us back from Amsterdam.

Right.

So then we went there.

I'd never been to Switzerland before.

Then I went skiing with my brother.

You went.

No, I I told you.

So we got, but we got to spend like four or five days in Switzerland.

It was amazing.

But then we met up again in Amsterdam and we made this deal.

Yeah, we

flew to Amsterdam.

Where'd you go?

Paris or Jessica Michelle went to Paris?

I think she was like backpacking somewhere.

Did I remember?

I went home because I told you.

You went back to America and came back again?

No, no.

When we went to Amsterdam,

I flew back from Amsterdam.

In between, is what I'm talking about.

No, we went together.

I went skiing with my brother.

In between Switzerland and Amsterdam, I went skiing with my brother.

You don't remember that?

Except for Montreal.

No, you remember what happened when you went skiing?

No.

You tore your ACL or whatever.

That's story tracks.

I do that a lot.

No, that's why you didn't talk to me for like a month because I said, you said you're going to the Swiss Alps.

I'm like, Ari, you haven't done anything athletic in like years.

Why would you think you could?

You went to Amsterdam?

Yeah, you went there and I said, that's the dumbest thing in the world you can do.

You're going to tear your knee up.

And then you didn't talk to me for like a month because you tore your knee and then you were.

No, that wasn't.

No, that was at Whistler.

I tore my knee up.

No,

I'm almost positive because you.

No, Whistler was my ankle.

Dude, it totally was.

I remember you were on a cart performing when I saw you.

Oh, yeah.

And you came back.

Interesting.

And it was because you were so pissed that I told you what was going to happen.

But I thought we went, I thought we're from Switzerland.

Jessica Michelle went to Paris, came back to meet us in Amsterdam.

Yes.

Because we needed five days off because I went skiing with my brother.

I don't think so.

I think we went right to Amsterdam.

She wasn't there the whole time.

Hey, Siri, call Jessica Michelle Singleton.

She wasn't there the whole time.

She wasn't there the whole time.

We all went to different places and then met back up.

The person you're trying to.

Come on.

Hey, Siri, call Jessica Michelle Singleton.

There we go.

She'll know.

Yeah.

She'll know.

I remember watching her backpack.

Yeah.

Like she had this big giant thing and she just started walking down the road.

I'm like, five foot.

What does she get?

Negative three.

Yeah.

It's like, what if you get robbed?

She's like, pick me up with it.

Either way,

she's not going to answer.

Hello.

Hey, I'm here with Paul Morrissey.

We got a question for you.

Hey,

Paul Morrissey.

We're on a podcast.

Hi, podcast.

It's a travel podcast.

We're trying to remember the timeline of Montreux, Switzerland to Amsterdam.

Did we take a few days off in between those two places?

You did.

You went skiing with your family, I think.

Maybe Paul was with you.

I think

she went to Paris, and then we met back up.

No, I remember Jessica went backpacking.

So you were like leaving when we were still in Switzerland and we were going to Amsterdam and you went to go see your brother.

I thought you guys went fucked off separately.

Yeah, I think you went to Germany or some shit.

I don't think so.

I was in Switzerland the whole time.

So maybe you stayed in Switzerland then longer.

I think I fucked up my ankle enough.

Was you with your family?

Yeah, I went to skiing with my brother.

But in Amsterdam, I wasn't limping, was I?

See, but Jessica, he tore his knee up skiing, so he was hurt when he came back.

That's why he skied afterwards.

I feel like...

Oh, yeah, because you weren't limping.

Because i feel like there was a lot of walking around yeah yeah we walked all over we walked around so yeah and i i don't think i tore my knee up then no you saw so many hookers in windows so many hookers in windows remember that the big oh i always come up with a bit of like i love when it's all the all the hookers and then the last window is like a cpa or something is just like

where it is

just but couldn't care less the prostitutes they were like on their phones on their phone

i was like let's all go to a sex show.

And you guys are like, no.

We did puss out.

You went to it.

We were too scared.

It was so weird.

Why are we so scared?

You were so adventurous.

I'm just disgusting.

I think I'm just, I think everyone's like, is this going to be a liability where we get canceled later?

But there was like a couple days where you weren't there because we did like Anne Frank and the House of Bulls without Jessica.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, no, I went to Anne Frank with you guys because we had grilled cheese sandwiches at the end.

Right.

Then she, then she tried it.

I'm trying to think.

Are you guys definitely?

I think you went to the Van Gogh Museum and

you guys in Heineken Factory.

Somebody gave me a whole bunch of mushrooms and I had never done them up to that point.

So then I had them and was just wandering around the city and buying mushrooms alone.

Wow.

All right.

I'll call you later.

All right.

Bye.

Anyway, regardless.

I think I'm right.

Well, it's funny that

so many things have happened that you can't remember.

This isn't interesting with travel

and also in life, but you blend stuff where you lose timelines, and you're positive this happened then.

We're both positive about different things.

We both never went to Amsterdam and Switzerland.

Right.

The timelines or what's in what country when

is

another thing.

And the other thing I remember, I don't remember her being at the Anne Frank house.

I remember us.

But she was, if she says it.

I remember us walking out of the, because Artie was the one who told us to go to the grilled cheese place.

Artie Lang?

Yeah.

Because

his whole story was about how, you know,

he's like, that is the Anne Frank house where, you know, horrific things were done.

And that is a great place for pancakes.

But we got the grilled cheese, by the way.

So I went back.

Yeah.

Went back twice.

One time it was closed at three.

I had a joke about it because I was staying.

I was like, I didn't know it closed at three.

I was fucking around.

I could have been there earlier.

And I'm like, really?

Because it was my favorite grilled cheese of all time.

Yeah.

And I'm really pissed.

I'm almost like crying a little bit.

And then people come out of the Ant Frank house crying.

And I was like, right?

The grilled cheese closes too early.

Yeah.

Well, my bit was

It was and this is twice this is happening where I'm the ugly American so

I remember we so you did get kind of emotional at the actual house because it was like how could you not?

It was crazy, you know?

So then just eating something like that to cheer you up was so good.

But it literally was next to the house.

So I remember us coming out of an attached building and basically like high fiving like, that was fucking awesome.

And everyone thought we were coming out of the ain't cranky you look like a nazi too you're like you look like you're going good times

so i was just like oh we look like ugly americas man but um but uh that's so funny so then i went back a second time had it something was missing yeah and then i found out later because my brother was like somebody went there they said it sucked i'm like no way they're wrong and then i went back again and new ownership They just do Foreman Grill now with like one slice of cheese.

It's not the same.

That's over.

It was the greatest.

It's done.

Guys, I'm breaking into the episode really quickly to tell you about my guest, Paul Morrissey, and a little about this episode.

He is a comedian and a very, very funny one.

You should see him.

All of his dates are on PaulHazzawebsite.com/slash tour.

In March, he's at the Venetian, Las Vegas.

In May, he's at the Tabernacle in Atlanta.

I'm going to be there.

Ruth Eckhart Hall, Clearwater, Florida.

Side Splitters in Florida.

In Wesley Chapel, Florida, and Laughs Unlimited in Sacramento, May 30th through 31st.

Go to paulhazawebsite.com website.com/slash door for all his dates.

I have a special next week on Netflix, everybody.

America Sweetheart.

It's a great, well, it's the newest special I have.

I take a long time because I do them right,

and it's something special.

I'm trying to get a couple of you, at least one.

My whole goal is if I get one person to stop reading the news and ignore all that stuff in a funny, laughing way to get through to you, then I've done my job.

Tell all your friends, set your calendars right now.

Legitimately, go into your

phones right now.

And January 14th, set a calendar saying, play Ari Shafir special.

And if you can't watch it all the way through, let it play because that's how the algorithm works on Netflix.

You got to play it all the way through to get to it.

Also, I've got a bunch of dates coming.

Some of these with Adrian Appalucci.

Everything is available on my website, ari shafir.com.

Providence, she'll be there.

Salt Lake City, Brea, she'll be there.

Nashville, she'll be there.

San Antonio, Tampa.

Maybe Simone will be there in Tampa.

Denver, Schaumburg, she'll be there for Schaumburg.

Atlanta, Portland, Adrian will be there for both of those, the Dark Queen.

And then San Jose,

now we're in March, San Jose, Orlando, Fort Lauderdale, Seattle, at the Moor.

That's a big one.

These are all theaters now.

Vancouver, Calgary, Edmonton, all sold out.

Maybe there's another show.

You should check the website right now.

And then finishing it off in Anchorage, Alaska on June 18th, right before before the solstice.

And then I'm done, you guys, for 2027.

If I named any of your cities, I won't be back there until, besides Denver,

and that's it.

I won't be back in any of those cities until 2028, 2029.

So I would

get tickets then.

That's it.

Let's get back to the episode.

Please subscribe wherever you're listening.

And that's it.

But my new special is the one you want to watch.

Tell everybody about it.

Do me a favor and let's blow this thing up.

I'm proud of it.

Ladies and gentlemen, let's get back to Paul Morris.

Also, I wanted to tell you this.

This episode, the reason I'm doing it, the first one of the year, because this is why I started traveling from this episode.

I'm going to realize it a little later in this episode, but this is why I started going nuts.

I've tried to figure out like, what was first?

Like my China run or something.

It all stemmed from this trip I had with Paul Morrissey.

We made this deal.

that we should go see more places.

So this whole

podcast, You'll Be Tripping, is all based on what happened on this trip.

Me and Paul in Montreux, Switzerland, and then in Amsterdam.

But

this began it all.

And you guys should have your own trips that begin your fucking, your love of travel.

Dope.

That being said, let's enjoy the rest of it.

Sorry, I interrupt this interruption to tell you that I have a screening next week for my special, America Sweetheart, in Austin, Texas, at the Creek of the Cave.

I think it's at 5 p.m., might be at 7.

I don't know.

But get tickets at rshur.com.

Creek in the the cave preview.

QA and my special.

America Sweetheart at the Cricket in the Cave.

Reasonable tickets.

Let's have drinks in the back.

It's fun.

Let's have a party.

I'll see you there.

Okay, back to the interruption.

Then back to the episode.

And then you had a great bit about,

didn't you have something about the Heineken Factory, which is funny?

You went to the Heineken Factory.

I went to Anne Frank.

No, we went to

the bit, I said, my buddy went to Heineken Factory.

I go, I have to go to Anne Frank.

And you go, that seems like a downer.

I'm like, yeah, for sure, it's going to be a downer.

I thought you said, like,

you'd think it was like

guys with fetal alcohol poisoning or something.

They have a whole ride.

That's it.

They have a whole ride through whatever.

And then instead of umbalumbas, it's just kids with fetal alcohol syndrome.

But then we went to

the low-key one was that bowls.

Bowls.

No one talks about it.

Yeah, it's like basically they're schnapps.

So like you,

they have blue bowls is funny, but that's like the mix in

like the UK instead of like schnapps, they'll mix bowls.

So they had those bottles where you could juggle them and stuff because they're almost made to like spin and do all the cocktail things.

And then and then we made a video in like that little room and I have that somewhere.

Do we really?

We got to put that in, bro.

We got to put that in.

Yeah, the Bowles Factory.

Like, they used to make absinthe and like all the stuff that was illegal, you know?

Didn't they have a painting there by like a Rembrandt-type level guy who was like, I can't pay my bill because it used to be a bar.

And he goes, I'll make you a painting.

It's worth like, it'll be worth like a few million.

Yeah, literally, I think it was Rembrandt who ran up his bill so much that he just gave them the painting.

So it's still like in there.

Imagine being drunk off only Bowles bowls alcohol, being a fucking absurdly.

Well, it was an absinthe or one of those things that was like used to eat your brain.

You know, all that stuff, right?

What's the worst one, absinthe, or what's the other thing?

But now you can't get real absinthe anymore.

It's all this like fake version of it.

It's kind of like hemp.

Yeah, Jennifer.

Yeah, then they made they gave you two samples.

You could drink whatever you want.

Yeah, we have a video of you doing that.

Oh, really?

That's somewhere.

You're like juggling the bottles.

Oh.

Oh, we got to find that.

It's got to be on some flip phone.

Oh, and then, yeah, and then we have

that was from the Heineken factory of us.

Go back to your phone.

Oh, yeah.

They take a picture of you.

Look at that hair on that guy.

Oh, I'm jealous.

I got to go to Turkey if you don't know.

Yeah, and that was the

hair.

When was this?

December 19th, 2013.

Well, that's the trip.

So that's the, but look at my drink, how it matches your sweater.

Oh, my God.

Is that crazy?

Yeah.

Okay, so I got to say this, though.

Okay.

So after, this is why it's important, it's a very important podcast we're doing now for this podcast.

So

where was it when we made this plan, this challenge?

I remember either in the lobby of the festival with Luyo Sugola and you guys after eating recollect, or it's somewhere in Amsterdam where we decided this.

My recollection was

we

after Amsterdam, we said something along the lines of like, why don't we do this instead of like Sacramento every year?

Like, you know what I mean?

Or Baltimore, not the like shit on

cities we've been to all over.

But it's like, why don't we, even if we go to like two...

two cool places and the shows are terrible because like the Switzerland show wasn't amazing but like just doing the trip was it's a it was a free flight to a country.

We honestly, when we started comedy, it was it's almost like it doesn't make sense now because comedy is so big, yeah.

But like the odds of us ever getting flown to Europe were like zero.

It was their first English-speaking show, it was a French festival, yeah, and they flew everybody out, put us all up, and then at the end, they're like, Here's 500 bucks, right?

Like, that wasn't part of the deal, even.

And it was like, Yeah, it's Mike Leibovitz, you, ISO, who's going to be on this podcast about Carnival.

Um,

Yeah, it's like, why not go to these places?

Yeah.

And that was like, oh, yeah.

I remember now because I ended up doing all the other cool shit in

Montreux.

You stayed.

Because I went to...

While I was skiing in Zurmat.

I went to

the recording studio where they did Under Pressure.

Smoke on the Water.

Smoke on the Water.

But they have a statue of Freddie Mercury.

We have that picture.

And there's a casino.

Yeah.

That's a casino now, but it's where the studio was where it was like David Bowie and Queen just met up at a bar and they're like, hey, let's record something.

And they go to this studio and they record under pressure.

No, wow.

And Bowie's like hammered.

And the next day, he's like, hey, Freddie, you got to...

Let me redo that.

And he's like, no, don't be so dramatic.

It's already done.

I already sent it in.

So they have all like Freddie Mercury's lyric sheets, all his like copies of the city.

I was in, I believe it was Melbourne with Kylie Sparrow, and we went to the

and Julie Lawless, and we went to the David Bowie exhibit.

It was a traveling exhibit, and they cleaned it up a little bit when they went to Brooklyn because this is the part they didn't have.

They had all of his Coke spoons.

They had a giant display of these beautiful engraved Coke spoons.

I mean, he had like 20 of them, and they didn't shy away from any of that.

When he told Ziggy Stardust band he was done on stage, when they they were like, wait, what?

They're like, we're done.

I'm not done with Ziggy Stardust.

I'm just being Dave Bowie from now on.

The band's over.

And they were like, oh, he goes, here's the last song.

And they're like, wait.

They're just looking at each other like, I'm out of a job.

He goes, it's this long thing.

He goes, thank you very much.

You've been a wonderful audience.

I have to tell you something.

Not only is this, and he's blown out of his mind on colour.

And he goes, not only is this

the final song of the night.

And not only is this the final night of the tour, it is also the final show Ziggy Stardust will ever do and then they're all like what wait wait what

i didn't know he picked one yeah

that's crazy yeah and then let's go

and by the way the coolest thing ever uh we were talking about my buddy who's uh in the restaurant biz there

he's a you know how like uh you got to get a trainer in new york and it they always don't have these gyms so it might be like you know you you have a trainer but he might take it to like a one-room thing with like two treadmills in it at a building building or something, you know?

Right.

So, my buddy had this trainer, and he took him, you know, sometimes you take him to random places.

So, he takes him to this, like, basically just this room that had like two treadmills and like a bunch of free weights, and David Bowie's on the other treadmill.

Whoa.

Is that crazy?

Yeah, that is crazy.

Would you pick up your speed, or you would you try to stay patient?

I was trying to stay dead even with them.

We were talking about this yesterday that who was saying it,

oh, Aaron Berg.

He said Shooter McGavin was in his crowd.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And he was like, he's like, when you see a celebrity,

he's not the biggest fan of whoever that guy is.

Yeah.

But he liked him for the movie.

Right, right.

And you just want to impress them.

Yeah, absolutely.

They're not even your guy, but you're like, I want to, I just, I've reckoned they can't do anything for you.

You just want to impress them.

It just comes out.

What's the weird thing?

I would stay even with Dope Bowie.

Yeah, which the weirdest person in the crowd that you knew about?

Topanga's store, right?

Topanga.

There was one night where two massive celebrities,

I believe it was

the guy who moved to Austin now from True Romance.

Not True Romance, True Detective.

McConaughey?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I may be wrong about McConaughey.

So it might be someone else and John Bon Jovi.

Oh, no way.

One was drunk.

The McConaughey, or it was someone else.

But let's just say Makana for McConney's sakes.

McConney, if it's not you, sorry.

But But he's drunk and just heckling everybody in the belly room, too.

Oh, wow.

And just like being belligerent, that's what happens.

Anytime kid rocks at a show, the show's over.

He's taken over.

And it was one of those where you feel like a celebrity, big and rich would come in and destroy shows by making it about themselves.

They don't just sit there.

Victor Cruz was in the crowd last night.

No way.

Yeah, big giant.

football player.

They told me, oh, I wouldn't have recognized him.

He was sweatpants.

They always, they can't find pants that fit.

And I enjoyed making him laugh.

I did my Australian football versus rugby joke.

He was like loving it.

But he kept heckling.

Let's say McConney kept heckling.

And then John Bonjo would come to the green room and apologize for him and then go back to sit down.

The next guy would get heckled and annoyed by John Bojo.

John Bonjo would come say, I'm really sorry for my friend.

He's just too drunk.

Go back to the room over and over and over again.

Good times.

Yeah, the weirdest one I had was.

Like it was like Ventura Harbor, which you wouldn't think you'd see anybody, but it was like this beautiful blonde, like in all leather she's like third row but it was like

you have no idea who it is but this is somebody you're somebody yeah and it was like actually distracting like you know how usually you're focused but I'm like this woman is like beautiful she ended up being the lead singer of Berlin oh wow that Terry nunn yeah like take my breath away Take my breath away.

And I got a picture with her afterwards and stuff, but like she was still like stunning.

But the weirdest one lately was I did a show in Phoenix.

I think Terry Hatrick used to come into the cellar.

Oh, yeah.

And she was like, still got it.

Who's the who who do they like the door guys tell you the hottest girl that ever came in?

I said Terry Hatcher came in a lot.

Let me try to think.

No, I don't know.

There's a guy.

You know the Brody story we got to talk about.

What's that?

You know the Brody one.

No.

No one's going to get this because it's a reference from

what show was Tootie on?

A Facts of Life.

Facts of Life.

So it was a Facts of Life flood.

So Brody's a very clean comic and very positive, whatever.

And we're fucking with him and tweaking him.

We're really driving him to suicide.

Pretty early on.

It was a years-long project to make him kill himself, a success.

And anyway, we're fucking with him.

He's like, hey, guys, you want to learn something?

Come on in and watch me.

Like the fake bragging.

Right.

And then we're fucking with him a little bit.

He's enjoying it, whatever.

And he goes, and he goes, I'll show you.

I'm good.

Let me do some crowd work.

And he's like, you know, just talking.

He's like, well, what's your name?

He's like, he's a make fun.

Someone else like, what's your name she's like jerry he goes oh like jerry jewel like from facts of life

and then the lady goes i am jamming

and he's like what i am jamming what the fuck hath home and he just went white and it was jerry jewel oh that's hilarious

the first like it wasn't it was like cerebral palsy yeah yeah yeah

she was a stand-up too yeah she was yeah that's what she came in to watch probably a regular at the store guys i love skiing but the hard thing is getting your skis and your boots and your equipment to where you're going.

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Guys, don't be like me.

Be organized.

Mike and Alyssa are always trying to outdo each other.

When Alyssa got a small water bottle, Mike showed up with a four-liter junk.

When Mike started gardening, Alyssa started beekeeping.

Oh, come on.

They called a truce for their holiday and used Expedia Trip Planner to collaborate on all the details of their trip.

Once there, Mike still did more laps around the pool.

Whatever.

You were made to outdo your holidays.

We were made to help organize the competition.

Expedia, made to travel.

What else you got?

The weirdest one lately was I was in Phoenix and

it was like one of those like...

like a theater at like a community theater and they're just like hey no uh

you know you can say anything but no oj jokes no ojok i was like what year is this that

you would want me to stay away from oj jokes and uh i go you don't have to worry about it and they said uh

well it's because uh fred goldman uh lives

no the the waiter's dad oh

who he killed was in the audience in it proven innocent though and uh

he was in the third row i remember he was on the news all the time time.

Like he has a mustache, like a handlebar mustache with like glasses.

Wow.

And

I was just like, oh, that's the weirdest thing that's ever happened at a show, I think.

Okay, so, buddy, wait.

I just realized we got to get back to this because we didn't even finish the story.

So, what did you say?

Why are we going to Sacramento?

Why are we going to Baltimore all the time for tour for travel?

Yeah,

let's do like two new places like this every year.

We challenge ourselves.

Yeah.

Because we did two there and it was like Michelle did three.

Jessica Michelle, excuse me, my daughter,

first father-daughter team in

comedy store history.

Look, let's do two new countries every year.

And we really checked in with each other.

Yeah.

We didn't let ourselves go.

You'd be like, check this out.

You'd always show me pictures.

Check this out.

I'm like, where are you?

You'd be like, on the coast of this.

I'm like, oh, hell yeah.

And then you're like, what do you got this year?

I'm like, I already did this, and I'm going to this.

Yeah.

But you also, there was like a year where you didn't have a phone.

Right.

So like you would tell me you're in all these places, but I don't know if you have any pictures.

I had a Canon Mark VII for a while.

When I was in Southeast Asia, I had that.

What year did you do the flip phone thing?

Well, I didn't bring my phone to Southeast Asia.

Like, East Timor?

Yeah, I didn't have a phone for that, but I had a Canon Mark VII, which was my favorite camera, my only camera I've ever had, actually.

That's crazy.

Yeah.

And it had a flip-up, a screen that you could look at, and that went down so you could go up, like, get high above a crowd and point it down so you could see yourself.

it.

No, but it's insane that you didn't have a phone in all these places.

Like

old school.

I mean, they don't have internet to get anyway then.

I guess, but like if you needed something or you had like a snake bite.

So

what I had was a burner phone that I bought in Scotland at the Edinburgh Festival.

Okay.

That was after a year, you could jailbreak it.

And it was like 60 pounds for the phone.

It was shitty.

I think it had like a memory of 500 megabytes.

Like nothing, but enough that I could do maps.me so I could have my way around a country.

If I got Wi-Fi to download the country, like Myanmar, I'm like, okay, I got all the roads.

And then

if I needed to make a flight, I could get to where there was Wi-Fi.

I could make a flight from there.

I could get on the internet enough, but not good.

Do you know?

I bought a phone for Switzerland.

Really?

Yeah, like in the airport.

I was one of those rubes.

I'm like,

what if I need a phone?

Bury his treat.

How are you going to hide it?

He's doing wolf shit.

He sees it there.

He just wants it buried.

Now he's unburying it.

Let it go.

Let it go.

Let her go.

It's just funny.

It's like they're so part of their like

the leftover wolf shit.

It's like when they rub themselves in like poop.

You ever see that?

Yeah.

But is he hiding?

He's hiding it for herself.

For himself, yeah.

We found all these

my plants on my deck all dug up and I squirrels and I'm like, oh fuck, the squirrels got to the birds.

And then I'm like, what the fuck?

And I was like uprooting the roots that had been ruined and I found a a bone.

And I'm like, oh, it was Bandit.

Yeah.

Hey, Bandit.

It was just saying your name.

Don't worry about it.

Hi, buddy.

Good.

Nobody's going to find that.

Bury it more.

Good job.

Show your ass.

Show your ass a little bit, buddy.

The people see what we're talking about here.

Okay.

So, but we were like, let's do two new countries a year.

Yeah.

And that's been my goal.

Only that Ecuador COVID year.

And I,

all of November, all December, and the first four months of the next year were all

Ecuador.

So it was like, fine, I only got one, but what a one.

Two straight months in Ecuador.

But But then you did a bunch of crazy, you did like Romania,

all those kind of like I was doing like Japan.

Yeah, you went to Japan, uh,

Singapore, Hong Kong,

Vietnam.

Yeah, you went to all those, and you went for touring.

Yeah, you got comedy to pay for those trips.

Yeah, we did the Magners Comedy Festival, so they brought us to seven countries in 10 days.

I like that this challenge because it forced me.

I would have, if not for the challenge, I would have failed on it.

Yeah.

But, like, there was one where I went to like Polynesia, where I'm like, fuck, it's almost New Year's and I don't have one yet.

Right.

So I went from the West Coast to Polynesia for four or five nights.

Not worth it.

Where did you go?

To Tahiti and Morea.

Did you go to Rangaroa?

No.

That's my favorite place in the world.

Really?

Rangaroa.

Yeah, it's like

if you go into Papite or whatever.

Papita, yeah.

That's why I flew into.

I'll show you this.

Where is it?

Oh, wow.

So I was down there.

And you're way up there.

What the fuck's Rangaroa?

Up or down?

It was.

So basically,

I flew into Papité or something like that.

And then there was a

little ship you could get off for the day.

And

I was just walking around.

Wow, look at his ship.

hands barely connected like

you have pictures of it yeah i'll show you

yeah

we still have to go to act this actual trip we're talking about

yeah yeah well i guess we'll get to it uh

oh that's right you can search now tahiti

dude my favorite thing about tahiti was seeing the notable like expats that live there or people not from there that live there it was like an f1 driver obviously um what's his name from godfather was big into it Big fat one.

He loved it there.

What was his name?

The Godfather.

The F1 driver?

No, forget the F1 driver.

The Godfather guy.

Oh, Brando.

Brando.

Yeah.

And then

the artist that was there.

Painter?

The painter.

What's his name?

Painter Tahiti.

He went there from France.

Paul Gauguin.

Oh, Gauguin.

And he went super colonial, went hard on having child brides and stuff.

He was a drunk.

And they talked about Brando a little bit, all these exhibits.

And then they go, and then they go,

they go, Paul Gauguin, that was his.

It was like, died 1837 of misery.

Yeah, that's what it said.

I loved it so much.

Let me find, I don't know.

Yeah.

Put Tahiti in here.

But we have all these other ones.

All right, but let's talk about this tripper goal.

Yeah.

Now we're already fucking 40.

We should be wrapping up.

We haven't even started yet.

Well, it was, I think it was like, my idea was like to,

because, you know, are you allowed to say what you're doing next year?

No.

Oh, yeah.

Oh.

Hold on a second.

Let me think.

No.

Okay.

Well, I just thought it was like a good milestone because what we're going traveling.

I'll just say that.

We're at a, so it's basically 11 years since we started doing this.

December 2013.

This is December 2024.

And we'll take the pandemic year out.

So it's basically 10.

I still got one that year.

Did you get any that year?

You literally would have had

Barbados.

Barbados.

You literally had to go in January or February somewhere.

I was in Hawaii, but that could have been, that doesn't count.

And then and then again in October, because the middle six, seven, eight months, you're not going anywhere.

My favorite story of that was what you told me about some friend of yours in Vietnam.

Which one?

You were like, missed the last flight home.

Everyone's trying to get their last flights home.

Right.

And he missed it.

And he goes, fuck.

And then it's like, oh, I'm in a country that's going to cost me $7 a day to live.

This is amazing.

Yeah, it was a girl from Montreal.

Yeah.

She stayed there.

Wow.

Yeah, that's crazy.

So let's talk about our trip, though.

Okay.

You've never been to Switzerland before.

I have never.

They flew us out.

What do you remember about it?

It was, I remember,

so it was like a contest or something because it was just when you had gotten your TV show.

So it was like one of those things where they're like,

we want you to host this thing.

and then they picked like five comedians so so

yeah it was this they go i want you to be an ambassador to get some submissions right we're going english so they had a sketch and a stand-up part there was the only two english the rest is french it's a long-standing french festival i probably mike ward's probably done it and um

go let's do a little english can you be an ambassador you seem like you have an online presence because my show at the time was online it's still digital i was like sure which is funny because they didn't they they were like, oh, yeah, he's like, it's like when you see them, it's like somebody hiring you for a corporate gig or something.

It's like,

have you not seen any of his stuff?

So, so, um,

and the sketch people ended up getting like 40 submissions.

We had 400 plus.

Yeah, yeah.

And you said, from my old apartment, where we used to get bangs while we're trying to do a podcast, where I got thrown out for doing business.

It was just an audio podcast of us talking shit.

And they're like, that's a business.

you said i remember talking like hey i'm applying to that festival your your your ambassador ring they gave me like five grand uh to go also which was nice and then you go can you help get me in and then i realized oh maybe i can it was just them i just wanted submissions they were going to choose but i'm like yeah that'd be way more fun if you came with me yeah

and so then i tried to tell them i was like hey i'll go over the submissions for you if you want because they had to narrow it down from 400 to what like 50 the audience voted down to like 10, and then they would choose five from there.

That was the hard part: I still had to get votes and views after that.

So, I was like, okay.

And I was like, tell you what, guys, I'll watch something.

They're like, why don't you take 100?

She'll take 100.

He'll take 100.

He'll take 100.

I'm like, no, just take them all.

I learned so much about submission tapes.

Yeah.

And if the audio is fucked, you're just skipping.

I got it from the other perspectives side, from the industry side.

But anyone I had heard of, any comic I knew in any way, was getting passed into the final 50.

Right.

And then other ones, if they were just good, they were also getting passed in.

So you, I didn't know Kevin Iso.

He was just a good one.

I didn't know Mike Leibowitz.

He was just a good one.

You, Jessica Michelle, I mean, anyone from door guy to headliner.

And I was like, hey, guys, I gave a nice selection of upper-level people, lower-level people, men and women.

But really, I just want to tell them anyone I knew is getting passed.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, Jessica Michelle, and you all got passed.

You all got to the final 10.

And then I helped choose.

And it was like, no, then it was on them again.

Yeah,

I had to get votes, which sucked because, I mean, at that point, I'd done Late Late Show like four times.

So I had like TV credits.

And then

it goes, it's funny because every contest I've ever been in,

I've lost, but something's good has happened from it.

So basically, I worked on this five-minute set for that contest,

did the contest.

I lost.

I don't even know what place I came.

Leibowitz won.

Liebowitz won.

He got invited back the next year.

It was the guy, Bruce Hills from JFL, was there.

Yeah.

And then.

And you know why he was there?

To meet up with Queen's manager and go skiing.

Yeah, exactly.

He was there technically to judge as the head of JFL, but really he's like, no, they flew me to Switzerland.

Same as us.

They flew me to Switzerland.

That's what I'm doing.

I'm going to go enjoy myself.

Yeah.

But they're back in business, so congrats.

But so that,

so this is December 2013.

So then that set I've been practicing, like, if it did okay in Switzerland, but none of, you know, it was.

It was 40 people in a banquet room.

Yeah, yeah.

It wasn't anything.

But also then we met.

Sorry, go ahead.

Oh, no, go ahead.

We met up with Luis Hogola and all these South African comics.

Yeah.

That's when I met Louisa.

There were some other guys, too.

They were all pretty funny and really cool.

Yep.

Fun to hang out with, and you got a perspective of South Africa I've never gotten before.

And they did a show in French, I think, right?

The night before.

There was like a different French.

Yeah.

But then that set that I had worked on was the set that I submitted to Letterman, and I got Letterman the next, like, six months later.

Oh, great.

So, so that, even though I lost the contest, that helped me.

That's good about focusing on positives.

Please give it up for Mr.

Paul Morrissey, everybody.

Letterman.

Oh, it's good to be here.

I like being in Switzerland.

I kind of blend in with you people.

So let's talk about.

So we get there.

What I remember is the Christmas Village, above all.

Yeah.

And then later, because that Christmas Village was so fun with tchotchkes to buy.

And it wasn't like,

it wasn't like iHeart Switzerland, like the dumb, you know, like Times Square shit.

It was like legit.

It wasn't even Zerk.

It was Montreux.

Like they had like Hitler Russian dolls and Freddie Mercury and all kinds of weird stuff.

But this like long bun that they took a stick and just like went long ways instead of cutting it open.

It was a baguette.

Baguette.

The French baguette.

And they just had a spike that you could like spike the whole middle.

So that's a hole in the middle.

Yeah.

So, and then they had a.

But it wasn't all completely opened up.

It was just a hole.

Kind of like when you're at the beach and they put your beach thing down, your beach umbrella down, and they make a hole first, then put it in and cover it up.

Yeah, so it's like one of those hot dog buns that have just the middle out.

So it was basically like

that, and then there was a saucepan, and the guy was just putting in like fine wine and Gruyere cheese.

Yeah.

And then he would just pour it into the hole.

So it was this giant, like, classy mozzarella stick, basically.

I remember that

market bread.

I remember that they would fill it with cheese, and then the cheese would settle, and they'd refill it more.

It It would soak in a little bit because it melted.

Oh, wait.

It features a local Delsi called Chasbangal, which is a hollowed-out baguette loaf filled with fondue.

Oh, I mean, this is, I got to look this up as a picture.

All right.

Chasbanger.

Wow.

Images.

Yep.

There we go.

Yep.

Look at that.

I didn't know there was a name for it.

Wow.

Me neither.

I thought it was just some guy who was like, uh,

chasbangal.

It was so good.

And the cheese would get harder, but it would stay, because it was covered with other cheese, it would stay melty for quite a while.

Glue ein,

just like the hot wine.

Okay.

Oh, yeah, yeah, that's right.

I'm not a big wine guy, but I remember trying that because it was so cold.

Yeah.

But then also, the most, the best part.

Do you remember

the night before the show, they had that big dinner.

Yeah.

And they had the whole thing of rocket.

And we had never had rocklet before.

This is it, bro.

This is the fucking top Christmas markets on Lake Geneva.

I mean, this is it.

This is the Christmas market.

Look at that.

With the mountains behind it.

It was so fucking cool.

Yeah.

We were fucking kids.

We're all kind of poor.

Yeah, yeah.

And we got to go to this fucking crazy thing on the arm.

Yeah, with the mountains behind.

The lake was right behind these huts, if I remember right.

Lake was in between these huts and the mountains.

Yeah, like everything was a postcard.

Mobbed.

That's a good way to put it.

Everything was a postcard.

Wow.

That's why I was like, there's no way you're going to be able to ski those mountains.

I mean, what a time it was.

Oh, yeah.

There was a Ferris wheel, too.

I think, right?

Sounds right.

There was like a little fair part, but yeah.

God damn, bro.

48 hours of fun.

Somebody else went there too.

No, the mantra.

Yeah, it's an underage.

Because all you hear about is Zurich and

somewhere else in Switzerland.

The only thing I feel bad about, we should have asked Jessica about it.

Yeah.

Was

the next year, like, I had done Letterman and like I was kind of I think I was touring I was working on a pilot at CBS.

Yeah.

So they some lady emailed me and said, uh

can you

make a, like, a, do a knock-knock joke and post it online

for the festival?

Because they wanted me to be like the.

Ambassador?

Yeah.

Oh.

And I was just, it just felt like it wasn't.

You remember that, it was that one beautiful.

She was gorgeous.

She was so.

I saw her at Edinburgh one year.

She mentioned they might do something in South Africa or something.

I was like, I'm in.

And then it never panned out, but she was

dying.

Yeah, that was like when you run a company like that and you hire like a beautiful woman.

God, she knew what she was doing too, which comes from LA.

I had never seen someone who was hot and smart.

And you remember what you did to her?

Oh, boy, no.

No, she left her phone open.

So you wrote on her Facebook thing that she was pregnant.

Anyone who says I became an edgelord now doesn't know me from a long time ago.

I don't even know if they translated it into French.

Yeah, I might have been.

But yeah, she was like...

Yeah, you could buy all these cheeses and chocolates at the fair.

Oh, yeah, the chocolate was the other deal.

Like Smith chocolate.

Look at all that.

It was so fucking cool.

And it wasn't that cold.

It was early in the winter.

So it wasn't freezing.

It was cold weather, but not crazy.

The glue line was so good.

But you know what this made me do?

Every time there's a Christmas village, anywhere in Europe, I'm checking it out.

Yeah.

I have a cup that's not here from the Manchester Christmas factory that I went to with Evan de Marie.

Oh, that's funny.

And I got the gluebein there.

That's hilarious.

Dude, it ruled in this minor town in Switzerland.

They put us in a nice hotel.

Yep.

And we did, did we do a podcast from there?

Because that was the only thing I was thinking of.

Did we?

Because

we, I mean, I don't know if you remember it, because we didn't really know each other until we started

Sean Kemp's kids.

yeah we well but no you played you played most of those guys started that league and everyone kind of like like comedy store guys who didn't really know everybody else everyone started like hanging out a little bit that's how i met david taylor you yeah and then i mean the saturday game with the scholars yeah and you got to know everybody yeah and then you were you were somewhat normal by then like i'd heard all the stories about you but then when we met like you were actually interested in playing basketball because you're like yeah i want to i want to learn how how to pick and roll and rebound and stuff like that.

Jeff died, too.

Well, we did.

We did want about your basketball days.

We know we did a podcast there.

Yeah, yeah, but I'm saying like we kind of met through that.

And then your podcast was just getting started.

So I think even the travel stuff, because that's what I'm saying.

You're doing a travel podcast now.

Like, how do you say that?

This doesn't work.

This material basketball with Paul Morrissey.

Sports machine.

That's about your time as a

sports anchor.

Take me out to the ball game where we went to the next one.

That's the main

apartment.

We did it on the subway.

This was so DIY because everyone's like, it was pre-anyone even having a studio ball.

I think it's the best thing that's ever been done.

You can hear us going, walking down the street, being on the subway, being at the, you can hear the crack of the bat.

We're on the way to Yankee Stadium.

We're in, so we, we, we're so under the radar.

You had these SM58s, but they looked professional back then so it's these so we were in the same ones I'm using but we were in the the front row of the bleacher section so the security guys thought we were actually like broadcasting so we were like doing the whole thing and then remember there was like a no-hitter through five innings And it was like a good game, too.

It was a good game.

And then

we had those

girls.

Those girls recognized you.

No, they didn't recognize you.

They're like, like, what are you guys doing?

And you're like, oh, you're a couple of Jewish girls from

wherever.

And she's like, how'd you know we were Jewish?

Yeah, I just immediately were back.

How'd you know we were Jewish?

She started laughing.

And then

I always remember the kid as like a 12-year-old kid that was like, hey, are you the amazing racist?

Oh, yeah.

While we were like on the podcast, and you were just kind of like, oh, yeah, they had some little kid come up to try to say hi to me.

I was like, what?

You're like, keep it down buddy because he's like are you the amazing racist he's like yeah yeah but keep it down buddy it was kind of funny and her dad was like was like center or him

yeah so we

so i've i traced this whole thing from travel and poss podcasting to to what you're doing right now yeah wow

yeah you're on my old podcast a lot Yeah, guys, if you want to go check that out, check it out soon because I keep meaning to go delete all those old episodes.

But it made like a bunch of lists in like random of like coolest like runner's world

coolest sports podcasts of the year it really was you felt you could hear this one marin like like showed me how to do all this stuff he's like no i'll let i'll sit here with you and like show you how to do it and he goes you know he's like i've done one from a car before he goes it doesn't overpower you can tell you're in a car but it's but you can still hear you could hear the crack of the bat on a hit yeah but it wasn't overpowering our voice right it was pretty interesting you could hear the roar of the crowd but you could hear us more And we were still just like watching the game.

Yeah.

Because we were because also we were like, after an ending, we're like, oh, let's put it away for a couple innings.

Yeah.

And watch.

Because otherwise it would have been a five-year.

It was old baseball, too, the last four and a half hours.

Yeah, yeah.

No timer.

But yeah, that was.

I trace,

yeah, all I think we were good influence on each other because we both both started to do obviously the travel stuff.

And then I did the podcast stuff for a little while.

But here's the thing.

Why did you stop your old podcasts?

It was, why do you think?

I got to start asking that more in interviews.

For me, I, uh, because I came from broadcasting, then I was Artie's co-host for a while, and then I was Tom Papa's co-host for a while, and I did mine.

Uh-huh.

And it was kind of like I had all the people that I wanted to have on, and I didn't want to just keep doing it to do it.

So

it takes so much less pressure on me.

Like, it's more fun for me to just do, do this because I haven't seen you in a while.

So this is cool to catch up and just chat.

You would have just gotten coffee if you had not.

But

yeah, you're pretty close.

That's a reason.

Honestly, I'm a big freedom guy.

It's kind of one of the most important things to me to be able to go to Southeast Asia for months, to be able to go to Ecuador for six months, to be able to like just,

I was doing a Something's Burning with Brendazisi and Bert.

Right.

And I was saying, like, we're talking about freedom in general.

And I was like, I was like, yeah, I'm very free.

And Bert's like I have as much freedom as you do and I just start I was like and I just started laughing yeah and he goes what do you mean and and Steve goes Bert Ari could just turn this table over and go to the airport and leave right now yeah and he goes well I have a family he goes you're right which which is why you don't have as much freedom as me because you have these things this began to feel like a job yeah

and I once I once I realized I was like oh all right I got about three months to wrap this up nicely but I'm done with it I don't want a job so I lost a lot of money and got more.

Well, that's the thing is, you can't get used to the money.

That's with any kind of stand-up, even.

I remember Tosh, I think, told me when he first was headlining all the improvs, it's like, I'm working 45 weeks a year to pay for a house that I'm not in.

Yeah.

So that's why he did the show.

So he could be home.

Yeah.

Wow.

And now doesn't he just surf all day now?

I think, yeah.

Well, he's married and has a kid, I think, at least.

But my thing was, I wanted to,

like, I think I'm like you where we are hard workers, but we need like a break.

So I can work on something for three months, like a script or a pilot or a special.

They'll put it away eventually.

And then I just need like a month to do nothing.

Yeah, you get your brain thinking again.

You need a fallow year for crops.

Right.

That's like you need a year where there doesn't rob the soil of something, which the soil is your mind.

But you know, there's a lot of people that they need like the schedule every day.

And I'm just not that person.

Like

the best example was,

oh man, it's

these two composers

and Stravinsky, I think.

Igor Stravinsky.

It's like a famous,

and then like Handel or something.

There's like two of the most famous

composers.

One of them did their masterpiece working every day from like nine to five for like six months, and then the other guy did it all night for 30 days.

So it's like when you have inspiration, you have to go like, I'm not somebody that can like, I'll stay up all night working on something.

Cause also it's like, then you're just working for the sake of work.

You're like, it's kind of like, remember when the bloggers would get angry about something?

Like Lindy West would be about jokes or, or

whatever, whatever you're into.

But then it's like, ooh, this is catching on.

And you're like, well, now it's next week.

I have to write another one.

But you're like, but you're not as mad about this one.

Yeah.

You were really worked up about the other one.

Now you're just like, Trying to get worked up.

Right.

So it's kind of empty.

Yeah.

And that, and that was a the fun thing about the podcast when you have like somebody that you're like, oh, I want to have this person on just to talk to them.

So that there was that too.

Every time, everyone was a topic on Skeptic Tank.

And at some point, I'm like, I know, because I wanted to learn about things in a funny way.

And I, well, I've learned about drug addiction enough.

I've learned about fucking hookers enough.

I've learned about, I'm like, yeah, I got it.

So now I'm just like, you'd be like, or someone would be like, hey, can I go in your pocket?

I'm like, yeah, I don't know, figure out a topic.

We'll just cut this.

And I'm like, well, I'm not interested anymore.

It was like, I worked at the rodeo.

I'm like, yeah, sure, that'll do.

You know, and it's just like, I wasn't interested.

And also, it was like a lot of things.

And also, I was starting to get affected by people's

follower counts.

I could see myself being pulled into what everyone in LA is pulled into.

Yeah.

We're valuing humans based on their popularity instead of their actual what they enrich your life with.

Right.

And I didn't like that at all.

And I was like, I want to get back to just who's most interesting.

You are very,

like, I remember, because, you know, when you shot your first

special

I was like the only comic there.

You said put some fucking powder up there.

Yeah, cuz you're squeaking.

You got brand new sneakers and your sneakers were squeaking after every joke.

I was like put something up there.

It's gonna ruin every joke.

But that and then I went to the first

this is not happening and then so it went from like you know I've seen this you know with Gaff again

I worked when he got super famous and then you got really famous and so I saw the way that you try to navigate that because I know you hate like phoniness and you hate like people maneuvering and stuff like that.

And so it was interesting to see you navigate that whole thing.

I mean, even now, because you moved to New York, you didn't really know anybody.

Yeah, it seems obvious now, but John Rerrera was like, no, you move from New York to L.A.

You're just starting to get going.

Now you're moving away from L.A.

That's wrong.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I want to see new things.

But it was interesting because you, and did you have the show yet?

I don't know if you had the show yet.

I think I had the show.

But I remember.

That was the beginning.

I think it was only digital.

I stayed, I was at your apartment when your bed got delivered.

You were like coming in.

And so you didn't know anybody.

You told me about the diner because this is your diner.

It closed.

Yeah, yeah.

I was in your place before you were.

Yeah, that's right.

And then

six months later, you had the show.

Like, everywhere we went, people were starting to kiss your ass.

And like, all these people are schmoozing you.

I'm like, oh, this is interesting, man.

The Netflix special was 2017.

Yeah.

Guy from Asia.

Right.

Yeah, I let Duncan stay in my place when I went to Southeast Asia.

He was the last one I saw.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

He was like, I want to leave LA.

I was like, stay here.

I'm not coming back.

Actually, if he wasn't staying in my place, I think two days in, I would have just turned around and gone home because I was so scared of Myanmar.

Wow.

I was so lonely and so scared.

But I'm like, fuck, if I go home, Duncan's going to be there.

I'm going to be embarrassed.

I can't.

Wait, so what?

Wait, why?

Why will I be embarrassed?

I said, no, why were you going going to come home?

I was so scared.

I was, it was like, this isn't the right move.

This isn't the right move.

I don't know anyone here.

I'm having, I was having withdrawals from social media because I locked myself out of all that.

So I was having dopamine withdrawals, like,

you know, medically, dopamine withdrawals from that.

And then, like, I was like, I'm scared.

I don't know where to go.

I don't know anybody.

How do I even do this?

I've never been anywhere.

People say I'm a good traveler.

I'm a terrible traveler.

I guess.

But

I remember you told me that you were staying at like hostels so you could meet people

naturally.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It was great.

And then I started.

But two days in, I was like, I'm not a very social person.

Yeah.

But like in Hong Kong and that China run, you did that one, right?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

So the first few days, I don't want to talk to anybody.

I'm very alone.

And after about four or five days, right actually when I got to Hong Kong, actually right when I got to Beijing, it was about eight days in.

And then I was starting to feel lonely enough to meet people.

That's how I am.

I've never felt lonely in my life until I had two days in Japan and I didn't do shows, didn't talk to anybody.

And Japan is so quiet.

Like all the trains, everything.

And I hadn't heard anybody laugh in like two days.

Like I saw these schoolgirls laugh and then I saw these like business guy

like bullshit laugh and that was it.

So

after like three days, I was ready to do a show, but I hadn't been lonely, you know, or even needing to get on stage in forever.

Yeah.

Until that, you get get put in that position.

I also want credit for making you a,

well, more, not more focused, but remember when you went to Amsterdam?

With you.

And like,

even when we were playing basketball, I was like, you had to smoke weed like every hour.

And then I was like...

Yeah, I would go out and like halftime I'd go smoke weed.

Well, but I was like, we would, remember we were in Amsterdam or not Amsterdam, but forget where else.

And you were like stopping.

And I was like, this is like,

you know, because they always say like an addiction is like,

if you stop what you would normally do, like if you're with a bunch of friends doing something fun and you have to quit that to do this thing, it's getting in the way.

It's getting in the way.

If your friends are all having a beer and you have it with them, it's helping.

So it's like...

If you're leaving your friends to go get a beer, that's a problem.

And then I remember.

Remember that first couple days we did Heineken Factory, Bowls, all this stuff?

And then we hadn't smoked weed.

And then the one day that I think when Jessica came in, we went to like five of those places and you had to stop like every half hour.

And I'm like, you know, it was much better when we were just able to go to all these places and just, and I feel like that affected you.

Maybe you didn't see it, but

I saw it because you didn't have to, even when you were podcasting, you would have to stop.

Remember?

In fairness,

just to defend me a little, you're 100% right, first of all.

It was getting in the way.

I would see it at the comedy store where everyone goes smoke weed.

I'm having a fun conversation.

I'm like, like, well, they're all going to smoke.

I got to smoke.

I'm like, I'm leaving a good conversation for this.

It's an it's an addiction.

But, but, um,

in fairness, since I am into weed or I was into weed, of course, I wanted to see what the coffee shops looked like out there.

No, no, I wasn't, and that's probably the most I because I even hung with you because we we went to like five places in the same day.

So it was like we were all trying to handle it, but it was like

I don't know if it was before or after that, but I could tell you were just like what I said.

You're just like, Yeah, we did get a lot, a lot done.

A lot more done.

You could see the comparison.

We went to all these places, Van Gogh, Bowles.

We went to all these places, and then you're like, Now you're slowing down.

You're like, whoa,

which part is the distraction, you know?

So I just felt like that, you know, and it's only because you recognize it in yourself.

Like, if you're, if you're a person that's like, you know, when you talk to people, you go to,

where was that?

Appleton, Wisconsin.

Yeah.

They're like, we wanted to go to the,

what's the magician?

Houdini.

We wanted to go to the Houdini Museum.

It was closed.

And

we're like, what else is there to do here?

And they're like, well, we got a bunch of bars.

So that's all you do here is just drink.

So I don't know.

I just felt like when you find other things that are more interesting, because we both are curious about the world and curious about going to places and, you know, you just don't want stuff getting away of that, you know, or distracting you yeah

Paul I think this is an interesting podcast because of what we set up so we did I was about to say in my head I'm trying to be a good host and I'm like well maybe we should cover the Amsterdam part two but we did a little bit

I'm wondering if we should cover that too or just stay in Switzerland and then get back to Amsterdam another time well I think this is more of like because this is an overall thing about how we really started traveling were you a big traveler before that Montro trip no yeah me neither so my only trip was to,

when I was in high school, our basketball team went to Ireland,

which was like amazing.

We got to play all these different clubs and stay with the families of the people that we played against.

I'm wondering if this trip was before or after my China trip.

Do you remember?

I think it might have been before.

I thought the China trip was the first one because every time I tell someone about China, I say I told my agent, I told Justin, I was like, I want to see things.

Help me out.

Right.

And then I, and I was like, get me the order, but I was like, what made me want to see things?

I think now it's this trip.

I thought that was the first trip with China, but it's not.

It's this.

And I got home and then I told him, send me places.

Yeah, because China was Turner, right?

China was Turner Sparks.

Yeah.

He has to be, he's going to be on this podcast a bunch.

He also does help me all.

He opened for my album in

the National Comedy Center.

To the listeners out there, an album is a.

Let's see where China was on here.

I think it has.

So this was 2013, right?

Yeah.

December 2013 was Switzerland.

Ah, shit.

Let me go year, all photos

by years.

Here we go.

Because I feel like you went there when it got shut down, right?

27, 28, 29, 2012, 2013.

I went there before it got shut down, but

2012.

Let's see here.

Where's China?

Oh, no.

Where's China?

No, it's Renazisi.

That's Vegas.

2014.

So, yeah, this trip is before.

There's me in China.

That's June 2014.

So this is the trip that made me go to China that made me then keep going.

Nice.

This was so influential on my whole life.

Yeah.

Me too.

Just having this talk of like, it wasn't just going.

It was like the mindfulness you had of like, we should keep doing this.

But even when we were.

This podcast doesn't exist if not for this talk.

Right.

And

even the,

I remember having like talks with you like late at night, we were talking about like where else we could go.

Because Amsterdam wasn't like the automatic choice.

Cause we were just like, because you set up the show there.

Like you set up two.

Last minute.

Do you remember when we went into that one place?

What that

big black Dutch guy said?

Oh, yeah.

Go ahead.

So we go to this bar.

It's like one of those bars in the main strip on Amsterdam.

And it's just a big African bouncer.

and

he just looks like.

I don't know if he checked our IDs, but he's just like, I don't think he did.

He's like, Hey, how's it going, man?

Come on in.

And then he goes, Shalom, my brother.

To me.

It was one of those, like, oh, I didn't realize how Jewish I was.

Yeah, yeah.

You even said, why do you say that to me?

You're like, Ari, I got news for you.

He was like, no, Ari, I got news for you.

And then he

and then he named your special for you, Jew.

Jew, that's right.

That's right.

So,

I mean, was there anything else in Switzerland?

The Lake Geneva was pretty cool.

Seeing the smoke on the water was cool.

We got to find all our pictures from there, and then I'll give it to

buddy.

You can't lean on the camera.

Well, my old thing is like, I know you're used to talking to other people, but I think people like to see how you ended up.

Because that's what everyone always asks you, like, how did you end up traveling?

How did you end up?

It's this.

I've quoted you so many times but that's in so many interviews i've quoted you really oh yeah because that's why i always want like you said for the first time the myanmar thing you said you're scared and so that's what keeps most people from traveling so i was interested in seeing what what actually scared you well so like did yeah so like montreu was set up for us so no no fear there plus switzerland it's not a scary vibe right but it's set up for us they have a hotel waiting for us they're picking us up from the airport it's all set up amsterdam you set up my brother was already speaking French and German then, so he's out there.

So he was like, I'll show you the train to take to meet your buddy.

Yeah.

And also people speak English.

China was even set up.

Turner picked me up from the airport.

He told me, hey, it's all safe here.

There's no violent crime here.

The punishments are too harsh.

The embarrassment's too harsh.

I'm like, oh, great.

Well, I'll see you later in that case.

But it was set up.

And Myanmar was the first one not set up.

I'm landing with no one to greet me on a language and a culture I don't understand.

I've never met a Buddhist before, besides Duncan.

You know?

And so then it's like, yeah, I'm frightened.

Yeah, it's not something I would pick.

You know why I picked that one?

No.

So I narrowed down to Southeast Asia to region.

Okay.

So could have gone to South America over here.

Decided Southeast Asia.

I wanted a cheap place.

Right.

Because I didn't have a lot of money.

I had some.

I was doing okay,

but not a lot.

Didn't have great negotiators for my show.

So I was like, it's Southeast Asia or South America or Africa, but I'm way too frightened of that xenophobia.

So then I was like, I researched which,

not licenses, which visas you need ahead of time and which you can get

upon landing.

Thailand, you can get upon landing.

Vietnam, you need it ahead of time.

But Vietnam, they go, okay, you have six months to use this for one month, for one month.

So anytime in the next store, great.

So I had the ones I needed.

Myanmar, I think, was ahead of time.

It doesn't matter.

I had all of them.

I had Laos, I never got to.

Cambodia, Vietnam, Philippines.

I had them all.

That's the one we always talk about, Bhutan.

But then all I did was when it was time to leave, didn't have my flight yet.

I was going to get a one-way flight.

A few days out, I just looked at who has the best weather.

And Vietnam was like rain every day.

So I'm like, skip.

Myanmar was the whole 10 days of clear.

That's so cool.

So I'm like, okay, that one.

That's so crazy.

Because I would always think for you, especially with the drug stuff.

Yeah, there's drugs up there.

Yeah, but like the places that you can really get in trouble.

Like I remember I went to

still the golden triangles like right there between China, where is it?

It's like Laos, Thailand, Myanmar, or is it like up here?

There's a golden triangle, right?

What is that?

What does that mean?

The golden triangle of like, I think, opium or something.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

What is the golden triangle?

Which, by the way, I was told

by someone close to the situation that parts of Burma, which is Myanmar, China, Laos, and Thailand.

Quincy Jones,

they asked him to do a song about garbage

because you know he did the Sanford and Sun theme.

Oh, that Quincy Jones.

So he wrote it on opium.

And if you listen to it, you're like, I can see that.

No, no, that's it.

It's so, yeah, that's it.

It's great, man.

Might be the best TV theme song ever.

He had a lot of them.

You're welcome, opium.

Yeah, you're welcome, opium.

Yeah, so it's all there.

But I remember going, like, I went to Kuwait.

Wow.

And this is why I say he'll be back a hundred times.

We stayed in this,

we stayed in this like five-star hotel.

And then we're like, oh, let's get a couple drinks.

Because it was for the USO.

So they were putting us up.

It was like Tanashe, some pop singer was with us.

Wow.

And

so, like, we'll get a couple drinks.

And they said,

alcohol is punishable death by hanging.

And I was like, or a Diet Coke.

I'll take a Diet Coke.

I was just thinking, maybe, but I'm not that much of a boozer, to be honest.

So that's what scares me is, like, a place like that has, there's no speed limit, but like, you can get killed for having a beer, you know?

Yeah, exactly.

Like, that's why China still,

China and Russia still kind of freak me out a little bit.

Those are probably the only two I'm scared of.

But I smoked weed in China.

They told me, like, the cops don't know what it smells like because it's so, it's such a hard crime and the locals don't do it that they don't even know what it smells like.

They're like, you can smoke in front of cops.

Yeah, but see, you're a little nuts that way.

I'm a little nuts that way.

But where did you actually get caught, though, in Australia?

Yeah, in Australia at the landing.

So what happened?

I had a drug dog.

The guy let me out of it.

I did this not happening story.

The drug dog just sat and just stared at my bag.

And I was like, oh, billy.

And then, and then I was like, get out of here.

He just wouldn't go.

He's trained to not go.

He smelled weed in there.

Oh, wow.

And then the border patrol came by and was like, hi.

Hello, sir.

Can I talk to you?

I was like, yeah, sure.

Trying to play cool.

My heart's going a mile.

I mean, it's like, I'm going to jail, jail.

You can't traffic.

It's a different thing than doing it.

Trafficking.

So in China, trafficking is punishable by death, trafficking.

Getting it is you might get kicked out or whatever, but trafficking.

So they say if you get caught doing, having a shipment come into China, they always try to shoot their way out.

because they're like, if I get caught, I'm hung.

Yeah, so I may as well shoot all these cops.

That's my only way out.

Um,

and and he goes, uh, do you have any drugs in there?

I'm like, No, he goes, You have like an apple or a like a banana or something in there?

He might be smelling fruit, and I was just like

trying to carefully think my way out of it.

And I must have paused for like 15 seconds, and I'm like,

Yes,

and he goes, Okay,

all right, enjoy your day.

Oh, good.

And I was like,

I just had all my fucking cigars taken from Cuba.

I didn't know how to talk my way out of that one.

Well, yeah, you just went there, right?

I just got back on Saturday.

I could have talked my way out of that one.

Should have kept those cigars.

I had a good time.

Paul,

was there anything else in Switzerland?

The rocklette?

Oh, we got a cover rocklet.

Because that was

a dish.

So it's the beautiful woman who's running the thing, takes us up to that room, and they just have all these dudes with these different plates.

And they have this like, it's like a almost like a cartoon size half of like wheel of cheese.

And it's just a dude scraping it.

Boom.

Yeah, like that.

And so underneath that, that bar is just a heat.

So it turns, goes under it, gets bubbly.

Yeah, and he's scraping it onto like, it's all, it's always like meat, right?

It's like

those Vidalia onions, salami, like rolled up.

It's like, oh, here we go.

And then it just

peels to the meat.

Look at that.

That's it.

And they just spread it right onto that.

Yeah, it was so good.

So I had it with my brother and his family afterwards, and they do it this way, where they have it on a little tray like that, and they put it right underneath.

Oh, but look at that.

They're super

scrape.

Our dude did the scrape.

That was, that's.

Did you ever come with me to Rocclette here?

No.

There was a store, a restaurant called Rochlet.

Then you told me about it.

It was on Avenue A, and then I saw it take ads out in the back of cabs, and suddenly it went to 12, and it became bigger.

They had two chairs, no one was in it, and then they had like 10 tables.

And man, on a cold day, me and Reniz got, well, he got, he said, food poisoning.

And I'm like, then why are, how come me and your wife aren't sick?

And he goes, oh, yeah, good question.

Like, I don't, he just got sick, buddy.

Yeah, they had a Rocclay place, and they go, second scrape?

And you're like, yes, I would love a second scrape.

But man, you got the poops after that.

But that was so, like, just being in Switzerland.

Eating.

And it was like, you know, drinking Guinness in Ireland.

It's like, it was just the best.

Yeah.

Buddy, I would always have racclat again.

If I see it, I'm just like, it was such a, it's like what grilled cheese.

It's, it's, what do they call that kind of food?

Grilled cheese and tomato soup.

They call it like a comfort food.

Yeah.

This is such a comfort food.

Hot cheese.

It's like the that's the what the plate would look like.

Vidalia onions.

Yeah, that that's a little one of those whatever pickles, gherkin pickles, and then some stuff under there.

Wow.

Well, do you have, do you ever have those things where it's like, like with cigars, I'm kind of like that too, where it's like, wouldn't it be nice to have a cigar after the show?

And just thinking about it makes you feel better.

That's what I think about with Rocklette.

I'm just like, if I just think about getting something out of it, I get happier.

Wow.

Even if it's not in reach, I just think about I could get rock let after this.

Uh-huh.

What else did we do there?

Montreal.

I want to see the,

it was the, what's his name from Queen?

Oh, Freddie Mercury.

Yeah.

So there's the statue.

Yeah.

And like Bowie.

We have a picture in front of that.

Don't we?

We must.

Yeah, I do.

You do.

Look at that.

That's him.

So the whole thing that's interesting about this is like Freddie Mercury is like a real.

I don't know about you, but I loved Freddie Mercury before all the movies and all that.

Oh, shit.

Dude, did you wear that on purpose?

Oh, yeah.

No, I didn't, actually.

Queen Tour 1980.

I actually have the, I have that t-shirt with him on the front doing that pose.

Get a shot of that.

Wow.

Oh, that's cool.

But I remember

I always thought he was like underrated.

I mean, I had the Queen's Greatest Hits, right?

That was the album everybody had.

Queen's Greatest Hits on cassette.

Right, but as far as like lead singer, you're like.

Because you see him at Wembley or whatever, and you're like, with those, with that white tank top and like white tight, and you're like, right, oh, this is the definition of rock star, yeah.

And he's just, you know, showman, but also like

became like he really wanted to be like an opera singer.

And so he wrote like an opera for this famous opera singer, and he got to do a duet with her, like in Barcelona.

Remember the Olympics in Barcelona?

Uh-huh.

He wrote the themes, like the, the, I guess, the anthem, like Barcelona.

Yeah, that's the statue right there, man.

Wow.

And then the smoke on the water.

Yeah, so that, the casino where the recording studio is caught on fire.

And so

who's the group?

Deep Purple.

Deep Purple wrote Smoke on the Water about that fire.

Images Smoke on the Water.

Because I want to see, because it was smoky.

The lake was smoky all the time.

And we couldn't decide if it was smoke from the fire at the recording studio or what what he was singing about or if it was just this this smoke that would come up from like the mist that would come up uh but the famous thing is like the jazz festival in montrea is like massive if you go to like apple music there's like 9 000 albums recorded live at the montro jazz fest you know like everybody was there and this is right here is um that's that's the

wow yeah it was like this smoke would come up it was like mist there was a castle we went to where you get to poop right into the water through a hole.

Remember that?

Did you do the train thing or no?

The train?

Yeah.

No.

It's like a train.

We went up to this castle.

It was on the corner, and there was a hole where you just a regular toilet, and it would just go down and just plop right into Lake Geneva.

Oh, wait, hold on.

I got a breaker real quick.

What are you doing?

You farting?

No, no.

Excuse me.

What are you doing?

Getting my ginger up.

Oh.

You want a cigar?

I was tapping that bottle.

Wow.

What else do you remember about Switzerland?

I'm sorry we got so sidetracked with the other stuff, but like it was all important stuff.

Next podcast, we're just going to get to like just Kuwait or just whatever.

Well,

Switzerland also we met.

What do we remember?

Oh, yeah.

We met those sketch guys.

That was interesting because they told us the BBC.

Go ahead.

Oh, it was so it's a group of British dudes who who basically they were like the jackass of the UK.

Yeah,

they said one interesting thing I remember where they were like, so we're on the BBC, which is a state-funded media, but we make fun of the government and our sketch show.

So it's interesting that in the UK, they pay you to make fun of them.

But the cool thing was, is all of their

pranks started with

the idea of basically if you have a

like a workman's vest on, like an orange or a yellow vest you can get away with murder so they like all of their pranks were like they went to the palace in london or whatever they went to like any place they went to they could just start doing stuff you know it's almost like a banksy thing where if you had like an orange vest they they wouldn't even bother you if you were like painting or doing something so That was like all of their, all of their pranks were based on like them just doing stuff in public and not getting in trouble for it.

Yeah, they had that here.

I think it was, I'm not getting the name.

I think it was called like art in art places or art in something places.

And these guys would get workfest and change out the bus stops, all use the same key to put like those big photos in there.

Oh, oh.

And so once they realized that, they were like, we got someone who used to work there.

We copied their key.

We all made it.

They put on workfest and then daylight with comps going by.

They would just change it out to their own art.

Oh, that is smart.

Yeah.

And then it was just, and then they close it, and no one even thought it was wrong.

Yeah.

They'd leave it there for a month.

But it's like, even if a guy in a yellow vest walked in your building, you'd be like, oh, he's doing something.

Yeah, exactly.

You just trust him.

Forget it.

Art in something places.

Art in something.

I used to follow him online.

So, yeah, there was that.

I remember those guys were cool enough.

Yeah.

I remember meeting Loiso and this one other guy I became friendly with, but I forgot his name now.

Yeah, they were like, there was a South African

French comic show.

So that was like the big show the night before.

They were in the big theater.

We were just in that little room.

Yeah.

And I've got tape of that too.

That used to be on one of my promo things, you introducing me.

Aid Montreux at the banquet hall?

This next guy is on my basketball team in the Comedians Basketball League in Los Angeles.

He's a starting point guard.

And despite looking fat and out of shape, he's pretty good.

He's also been on the Craig Ferguson show multiple times, which you guys probably have never heard of.

But it's a television show.

It comes on at about 10.45 a.m.

here.

It's a late-night program in America, and it's pretty good, and he's done it a bunch.

Ladies and gentlemen, pistomistic.

Please give it up for Mr.

Paul Morrissey, everybody.

Let him hear it.

Keep it going for Ari, everybody.

You almost got it right.

Let him hear it.

God,

I don't even know what else there was in Switzerland.

I mean, I went skiing in Zermont, which is crazy.

I mean, it was some of the things that I was doing.

But you don't even remember getting hurt?

I didn't.

I didn't.

It was later.

I had that thing from skiing in.

You were right to warn me.

From skiing in...

I've only broken something twice.

It was then in Whistler after Vancouver.

Went to Whistler, cracked myself.

Then I had to come back here.

The guy was experimenting on me, Canadian fucking healthcare.

He was like trying to show his like, he goes, we don't do these hard casts anymore, but since this is an American, he didn't say that, but like, we're going to do one for him.

So they gave me a hard cast.

He goes, keep it dry.

I'm like, keep it dry.

I'm going to New York in February.

I'm like, keep it dry.

They're like, plastic bag.

And then I got back and the doctors here cut it off and gave me whatever, but they gave me one of those wheelie things.

It was then.

And then what was the other?

Remember, I

broke my wrist racing O'Neill.

So that was the other one that I picked you up from the doctor's office.

Yeah, I'm instrumental in your life.

You are, buddy.

Oh, yeah, by the way, so have you been doing anything athletic lately?

Like, what do you do?

No basketball, no anything like that?

Skating a couple times, but not enough.

Well, if you want to play in the basketball game Sunday,

New York Comedy Festival.

Yeah, they're doing it at LaGuardia College.

Oh, really?

Damn, no, I'm leaving.

I'm going to visit my parents.

I've come back Sunday.

Are you playing playing in it?

I played in the Netflix one.

What people don't know is Paul Morrissey played Division II five years?

Well, I played at every level.

Yeah.

But basketball, he was great.

He looks like a piece of shit.

Like anyone who's seen.

Did you notice I lost weight, though?

No, because you're still fat.

So you haven't gotten out of your category.

I know that.

I think my face looks thinner now.

Let's wrap this up.

Let's think what else you did in

Switzerland.

Well, so for me, I can even, I'll show you the video in a minute, but

so

you could go in the studio where David Bowie and Queen recorded Under Pressure,

which is now a museum in

that part of the casino.

So not only do they have all the lyric sheets, all of Freddie Mercury's stuff, but you can go in the actual studio and mix the sound

from the album.

What?

Yeah.

What?

So I have video from that.

That's fucking awesome.

Yeah.

By the way, check out Paul Morrissey on,

where's your social media?

Paul Morrissey.

Paul has a website.com.

Paul has a website.

That's right.

Paul has a website.com.

That's Ashtrace Foundation Cigars.

They gave me one.

I feel like the Celtics just won.

Red Arba.

Oh, yeah.

Do you know the whole thing behind the cigar?

It's interesting.

So basically,

whenever the Celtics would win, Red Auerbach was the coach, and he would light up a cigar, and people thought it was at the end of the game as like a celebratory thing.

But what it was, was

he,

like, let's say

you're the Lakers, and you cut...

the lead from like 20 to like eight

and there's two minutes left And all of a sudden you look over the bench and red lights up the cigar.

Rubbing it in like we have this.

He's like, That was Steph Curry's version of this.

You have a fucking chance.

Yeah, don't kid yourself.

I don't know how he's lighting it.

Yeah.

It's a fact.

Imagine that.

You just look over the guy and he's just like...

Confident.

Good luck.

Wow.

And he's like, I still have an A-point lead with two minutes left.

You guys have lost.

This is the Celtics, man.

Isn't that cool?

Yeah.

I never thought of it that way.

I always thought it was like in the locker room at the end.

So wait, what?

You have video of that?

You You have a picture of that?

Of the

music thing?

Yeah.

That's pretty cool to see all that.

This is me mixing

Montro Studio.

Bring up Freddy.

Bring up the drums.

That's pretty good.

Yeah.

So, wait, you're mixing however you want?

Yeah, you can just do the different tracks where, like, the drums are on this one.

And the.

That's pretty cool.

Yeah, yeah, that was fun.

At this legendary place, no one understood.

It's like this legendary, like, recording.

People go there on vacation.

Like, let's spend a month or two out there, get some air, look at the mountains, and make some masterpiece.

Yeah, that's so smart.

Oh, gold.

Oh, there's us

at the baseball game.

That's it.

No, no, no.

That's a different one.

See, look at my face there.

You don't think I look different now?

You're a fat fuck there.

You're disgusting.

I still have that hat.

No, that's not that game.

That's a different game.

That's just a game from the base.

That's when Kareem was on my flight.

Was I with you?

I saw Kareem on a flight.

Did you?

Yeah.

Was I with you?

Here's the remember that?

Tailgate.

Who is that?

Is that Fahim in the bottom middle?

Faheem.

Fahim, Kareem.

Fat Renazisi.

And we...

You, thinner, me, hairer.

Remember, we, uh, you guys paid this guy to, like, party in his house.

It was his driveway.

It was great.

And remember, he, like, asked us for beers.

He was like, can I get one?

I'm like, oh,

yeah, I guess.

He was just like, hey, cool, guys.

I'm like, we paid you 50 bucks.

Oh, yeah, there's your flip phone.

Is that...

I missed that shirt.

I lost it somewhere in Ecuador, and I'm so mad about it.

I think that's spring training, though.

That's spring training.

That might be Tampa, where Tampa's actually going to play this year at the spring training site.

That's the one.

That's us

anyway.

Down there a little bit is when I was like, this is the year we're definitely going to win.

It's the year they stole it from us.

Houston stole it from us.

I was like, for Brody.

Brody just died.

We took a picture of spring training.

I'm like, this is our year.

Me and Layritz.

Yeah, that was cool.

That was when we were still doing.

I got to get my hair back.

I got to get surgery and get some hair.

What is this?

You just searched for me?

Yeah, I told you it was.

Those are the girls.

Yeah, that's the podcast.

Those are the girls.

How do you know what Jewish?

Two Jewish girls sitting behind us.

Oh, my God.

What are you doing?

Was that what Instagram looked like back then?

Yeah, it's wild.

That's us outside.

I had to make a decision to get a jersey.

It was either Andu Harr or Judge.

They were both rookies.

We didn't know who was going to be better.

Was it Andu Har?

Who was the other option I had?

Was it the catcher?

There was someone else who

was like, ooh, and he was in Sanchez.

He had some votes for Rookie of the Year.

Hi, guys.

Let me interrupt today's episode of You Be Trippin' to deliver a service announcement from the podcast itself, You Be Trippin'.

Juan Soto, go fuck yourself.

Now let's get back to the episode.

Oh, there's you, Amsterdam.

Where's that in Amsterdam?

That was like our hotel lobby or something.

Wow.

Still have those socks.

You do?

Yeah.

I just saw him yesterday.

Damn, that was.

That's the squad over there, snuggies.

I gave everybody snuggies.

And that's where Jeff Dye, we were waiting to play.

He told me some story about stealing, what's his name, Jersey?

Jersey, yeah, yeah.

And I was like, bro, I have a storytelling show coming.

I would love you to tell that story on there.

It was just like a story from the sidelines.

Yeah, that was.

Adam Ray, ball hog.

I'm glad he's doing better now.

Now that he's sharing the the ball.

He's having guests on.

Back then, it was like, oh, the black hole of Adam Ray.

The worst.

Turnaround double team jumpers all the time.

And we almost saved him from getting murdered because Willie Mac would have killed him.

What about this?

Yeah, that's me after 1-0

to the Nick Yusuf.

I didn't eat breakfast.

I was so done.

And you didn't have socks.

Didn't have socks.

I'm playing with Chuck Daylor's.

I took it too lightly.

No shirt.

I had the referee.

In West Hollywood.

I came back in that game hard.

You did.

You had like five

shots in a row.

Yeah.

And then Nick is like, oh, boy.

He had already lit the cigar.

Okay, let's wrap this up.

Let's wrap this up.

This is for a different thing.

Anything else with Switzerland that we're missing?

Switzerland.

The people were nice enough.

The food was that.

It was my first time gone somewhere like that, not Israel with family.

So it was like everything was new and unique.

We didn't leave the confines of there, of Montreux, but it was like, people seem nice enough, I think.

Yeah.

I don't remember if it's expensive or not.

So little French, little French

stuff was expensive, but we, that was the other great thing is that when you get it hooked up like that, all the meals were taken care of.

Right.

So we could eat, the glue wine and shit like that.

It was like, all right, we had to pay for that, but it wasn't much.

Yeah, I mean, they had the festival going on, so it was like, we have this dinner set up for you guys at this place or that place.

They're like, great, okay.

Yeah.

I mean, when you're poor, where's the free meal is always.

It's not even like, I don't feel like going back like we have to get back Yeah, we're getting the meal and also wasn't there like five industry people it was like as many industry guys as comics Yeah were just gravy training that trip

was fun.

That was remember there was like the guy from New York Comedy Club or

the the stand-up New York

He was like the booker at stand-up New York.

He was supposed to be like one of the guys Johnny.

Then there was another guy from daily motion or whatever.

There was like five industry industry guys that are just like, I'm getting a free trip, too.

Yeah, why not?

Why not?

And that's my advice to anybody.

If they fly you out for work,

tell them, like, hey, can you fly me back from Germany?

Hey, can you fly?

Which I did another time.

I flew back from Berlin from another place.

Yeah.

We don't care.

We got a flight there and a flight back, whatever.

Just let us know the date.

Especially if you're going that far.

Yeah.

Go somewhere else.

But what's your

stay an extra week and then fly back from even that same city?

But like, i know i'm supposed to be there for two days for a conference so i'm supposed to be there monday and tuesday you're gonna fly back wednesday can you fly back the next wednesday and you're on your own there but you you got there yeah what's my what what are you gonna say what's your because i do have a as much as i love traveling i have a max of

time i want this trip to be what's what's your like max to be away

i mean the the dream is never come home

but like if you go to australia what's the premium amount of time you would be down there?

I got to be there for a month.

Yeah.

Got to be.

I'm going all to Australia.

I think a month is too long.

I did the Great Ocean Road.

I was able to do things.

When I go to Europe, it's a four to six week thing.

And I only do Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

I don't do Monday, Tuesday, Wednesdays.

Yeah.

I want the option of staying in that city longer or go to the next city earlier.

I still have this thing where even coming home for like a day refreshes me.

Oh, I don't get clear in my brain until about 12 days in yeah and then i don't feel attached to the place i was i feel floating that's a feeling i like yeah because i just did australia so like the first

yeah i did like four days in sydney

and i was just getting into the groove

and then when i went to melbourne

that was like amazing And they just kept adding more and more shows.

You don't have any Australian money, do you?

Did you bring any back?

No.

Damn.

I just traded in, actually.

Damn.

This is my first trip when I went to Australia in June that I never touched an Australian bill.

It's so credit card forward.

Yeah.

I never touched it.

I want to get one for the wall.

I'm trying to get all these places that the podcast has been.

I got Canadian money.

I got Canadian money.

They don't love it in Cuba, by the way.

They'd really rather, way rather American.

Yeah, because Canadians can go there all the time for like spring break.

Yeah, they're like, no, Canadian's not worth it much.

No, I know it's 0.71 to the dollar, like 0.5.

We don't want it.

We've in Australia is like, they really try to ream you on that.

I think it's 61

or 70, something like that.

It really is like a tough.

Wait, hold on.

Let's finish up Switzerland.

This podcast, it's an hour-long podcast.

It's probably been over two and a half.

So

I don't remember anything else in Switzerland unless you do.

I remember the castle a little bit.

We're going to have to go through our pictures and give them to this guys to get as much as we possible.

And we'll have, yeah, we'll have some video, video too.

Well, some videos.

Do you remember anything about your show?

Because you just hosted, yeah.

I hosted.

I remember being good enough.

Good, decent crowd.

But nothing like, wow, what a time.

Just like, it was fine.

But it was supposed to be like,

here's Ari Shafir.

Did you ever feel like

people have no idea where I thought I had two people, a couple showed up, and they're like, we know you.

The rest are just like, heard Americans are here.

Which is also a big, it's changed now because comedy is more popular that used to be the main credit on australia all the credits were from america right

that was like whoa i'll go see that

now it's like you gotta have a name yeah yeah when i was going australia i was the only one going oh no i mean besides like uh um

like jim well not jim jeffries but like jimmy carr sloss there's a few guys who would like go yeah um at russell obviously well arge lives down there arch lives there eddie ift lived there but like other people would go like it was like that's too far to go You can't even make as much as Kansas City.

Why would you go?

Yeah, yeah.

Now everybody goes.

So here's the question I ask everybody.

Two questions.

It's travel tips, just general travel tips, or specifically about Switzerland.

And what country is gnawing on your mind next?

Gnawing on my mind?

Like, where do you want to go?

Well, I think travel tips is like...

If you learn how to pack light, and it did take me years.

Like, even for that trip, I think we did get luggage and

check bags and all that stuff.

And to take a train was such a fucking lugging it around shit.

Winter's harder.

Now,

yeah, that's what you have to think about.

It's like when you're changing hotels for a month trip, do you want four bags with you?

All that kind of shit.

So I'm good now where if I go somewhere for two days, I still need my carry-on in my backpack.

But if I go for like two weeks, I can...

I can pack the same amount.

Like, I'm

pretty good about that.

And it takes a long time to be like, oh shit, I should have brought that.

You have to be okay with washing your socks or underwear in a sink.

Like once in a while, where they're going to get pretty clean with just like dish soap or something.

Like get them clean enough so you can re-wear them once.

And do you wear,

so I pack,

I'm a sneaker guy, so the easiest Nikes to pack are Jordan 1s, low top.

Lows, yeah.

And you can pack your socks inside.

Shove those in.

Absolutely.

that's a good travel tip fill up your sneakers

especially if you bring extra sneaker a lot of people don't I would not I bring the shoes I'm wearing maybe flip-flops and maybe maybe hiking shoes I wouldn't take my hiking boots anywhere even if I need them it's like too it's too big or I'll wear the boots to the on the airplane

But generally, the pants I'm wearing, the shoes I'm wearing, because those are big, big, big space items.

Yeah.

And then, as far as like what country next?

Yeah.

What do you think?

Do you you have plans?

I saw, no, I don't.

I saw that Nate Craig did Denmark.

And when I was in Japan, there's a bunch of people from Denmark.

And the guy's like, hey, you do really well in Denmark.

You should come.

You know, we're a big comedy fans.

This is a decent comedy.

You've been there?

Yeah, me and Bobby Kelly went for a festival, a Copenhagen Comedy Festival.

It's a one-year festival.

We met Ari Eljarn there,

this guy who started Icelandic Comedy.

Oh, okay.

it ruled went to noma that crazy like the best restaurant in the world for three out of four years oh really yeah we got in there like oh americans like we'll bump you to the top of the waitlist and what was the show like though was it decent as kind of a movie theater place but i've gone back to copenhagen and by the way also

excuse excuse me if i'm i'll leave spain out but they might be best sweed in europe yeah yeah better than amsterdam because amsterdam became a bit cheap because it's like for tourists that come in and out they don't need whatever but but Christiania, Christiania is like,

it was great.

It was great.

What would you suggest?

Because you know my list, where, where she is.

Oh, well, you would love, because you're not like an adventure traveler.

I mean, like, you're not going to Afghanistan to meet with like the, the, the, the ISIS and like talk to them.

You know, that's like what I mean by adventure travelers, like danger traveler.

Oh, no.

But

the trip we had in Amsterdam, you could have that in Copenhagen.

Go visit some old sites, beautiful museums.

Christiania, you have to go to.

It's the most amazing anarchist village.

It's like free.

It's free Christianity.

It's a free-standing

village

inside in Copenhagen.

The bikes, the bike lanes everybody knows how to use real fast, the canals, you would love it.

But what show, like, so there's no comedy clubs?

There might be.

I don't know anymore.

What about Germany?

That's the other one.

I mean,

Berlin has a great comedy scene.

Yeah?

Great.

Amsterdam has the best in Europe.

Right.

Amsterdam, and everybody's filling up shows now.

Amsterdam, just the house shows, pack out every night.

Yeah.

Amsterdam has the best.

Germany has an amazing one, and it's people from all over the world performing.

Because this might be it.

So in July.

Berlin, I mean.

Yeah.

July, I was on Jim Jeffries' podcast, and we were talking about traveling.

Jim, come do this podcast.

And he was like,

you've never been to Australia?

I was like, no.

He's like, here's what you do.

Go to Melbourne

Comics Lounge.

Go to Sydney Comic Store and and then Brisbane sit down.

So I ended up doing two of those on this trip.

Should you do sit-down?

No, I didn't have enough time.

Brisbane is for trash people.

But like you got to lean into it and be it.

Yeah, yeah.

Everyone said you got to experience it.

Like even the guys in Melbourne are like, you should go up there just to see.

You got to start pronouncing Melbourne right.

Oh, Melbourne?

Melbourne.

Yeah.

It's B-I-N.

Melbourne.

Melbourne.

Melbourne.

Real quick.

All right.

Or actually, it's M-E-L-B apostrophe N, like Melbourne.

Yeah.

But yeah, you can't say Melbourne.

You're embarrassing yourself.

And you're embarrassing me.

And you're actually, you're actually, it's rude to this podcast.

No, I may, I make fun of them for how they say no.

Say it.

They say nerr.

Nay.

Nay.

They had an O and an R to it.

That's so much.

That's so much.

Like, are you not done saying no yet?

You're still going?

Well, those are good, Paul.

This is a great one.

It really reminded me of a fucking great trip.

Of how we all started.

How we started this.

Yeah, this is a great journey.

How do you feel after that?

Having been to all these places, how are you feeling now looking back at this now?

Like, I'm feeling really reminiscent.

It's, yeah, and that's why when we talked about doing this, I'm just like, man, we did, because not only we do a lot of Yankee stuff and we've done a lot of podcasts, but then the travel stuff we really bond on because I get excited for you.

Yeah, I get excited for you too.

And you're like, I'm here.

I'm like, whoa.

And then I'll like leave and and I'll go look up that country and look up different things there.

It's like not for any reason.

It just gets me to go wiki it.

And I remember when you were in Romania,

there was like a sound tech that I was working with that was from Romania.

And he's like, which place is he working at?

And he like looked it up and he told me he was like, yeah, yeah, it's mostly DJs there.

But yeah, it would be cool to do a live show there.

So the underground scene, the weird thing about Romania, I should say this, but I met the underground music scene.

In Berlin, it's electronic.

Yeah.

100%.

That's the king.

It's post-punk in Romania, in Bucharest, at least.

It's post-punk.

So these underground publisher where you do drugs, it's like Suzy Sue and the Banshees, that kind of sounds.

Oh, wow.

Yeah, which is very interesting.

And I met a club owner there, and he's like, oh, my God, you're from America.

And like, yeah, I'm like, keep in mind, this is a few years ago.

Tony hadn't blown up yet.

Hinchcliffe.

Yeah.

And they go, we want to bring one comic out here.

And

I don't know if you know him, but we'd love to get him.

And I was like, who?

He goes, you ever watch Kill Tony?

I'm like, yeah, I've been on there.

And he goes, do you know William Montgomery?

He's our favorite.

We'd love to get him out here.

And I'm like, I'll talk to him.

That's hilarious.

Yeah.

Romania, Eastern Europe, I want to explore all of.

Yeah.

It's so, they're wildlings.

They are untamed out there.

But as long as like they understand somewhat, I mean, you have the show, so they speak English.

They watch stuff.

No, they speak English.

And at this point, now the internet has brought everybody together.

Yeah.

They all know what American comedy is.

It's the king.

And

they want to be part of it.

Just an American-style comedy.

They just don't get it as much.

Right.

So they love it.

That's why you should do Japan, man.

Why?

Because they have that English-speaking club.

Have you been there?

No.

Oh, you'd love it.

It's definitely on my list.

You would love it, man.

It's so, it's so different from any other place in Asia.

It's just so unique.

Number one in China.

Number one in Asia.

What's that?

Number one Asian.

Number one Asian?

As ranked by Asians.

Is it?

Yeah.

Well, it's just so like.

Even the Chinese, like, we hate them because of how many

we had from them.

But meanwhile, at the same time, like, they're like, nah, they're better than us.

But it's, it's like if,

like, uh,

it's, it's its own thing, you know what I mean?

Like, they just come up with, like, they have all these like mascots that are famous for like no reason.

And, like,

all this art is just creative.

And then they have Godzilla out of nowhere.

That's the perfect thing.

It's like, where does Godzilla come from?

You know, like, that's just some.

Yeah, where's that myth?

And it's just like on top of a building downtown.

And they have that Shibuya crossing where it's like the busiest crossing in the world.

Oh, I want to go to that.

That's where the club is.

Yeah.

You want to go to that?

I want to get...

Did you get shoved into a train with a sardine with a pole?

No, but I want to do that.

But they tell you to shut up on the plane or on the train, which is great.

Great.

The train from Jews would love that place.

Yeah.

You have to have headphones on.

You can't be on speakerphone.

And if you're talking too loud, they'll tell you no talking.

Different than China.

Yeah.

Somebody's going, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, and you're like, dude, what the fuck?

And everyone else, like, what are you mad at?

I'm like, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling.

The only bad thing was I watched Oppenheimer on the flight to Japan.

All right.

And I didn't do it on purpose, but I was just like, oh, this is weird.

And then I told him I felt bad.

And then they haven't released Oppenheimer in Japan yet.

And so I'm like, well, you guys know how it ends, right?

Like my grandfather did.

All right, Paul.

This is fucking great.

Yeah, good catching up, man.

And good catching up.

Congratulations on your

on everything, man.

Thank you.

This new podcast.

I mean, I mean, I've had people like, why are you doing like Rogues?

I'm like, dude, I don't think you understand how much I love hearing about this about travel this one obviously we both did but like yeah just hearing about people's trips hearing about your trips in general I'm like engrossed tell me about your kid and I'm I'm tuning out you know I mean people do that all the time it's like oh they learned to say these words I'm just like

I don't give a fuck yeah tell me about a trip to Kuwait and I am in yeah

So so whatever I got less interested in skeptic tank, I'm far more interested in this.

So I'll tell you the first,

and you can put this in or not so the first first night I go to Australia yeah

I'm doing the uh I'm doing Sydney this

happy endings comedy club yeah which is where

there's like this famous thing that Sinatra got trapped in Australia did you hear about this no

so they love him in Australia He went down there and then he was dating Mia Pharaoh or somebody at the time and all this paparazzi was following him around.

And he's like, you broads are like hookers.

You do this for money.

Like saying it to the reporters.

And so the unions got all mad at him.

So they're like, we're not even going to gas up his plane.

He's going to be stuck here.

So he had to apologize to the union head.

Just to get out of Australia.

Just to get out of Australia.

But it was three days.

And he was stuck in Melbourne.

Nice.

Snuck to Sydney.

Yeah.

And like, obviously had some kind of mafia connection or something.

So he stayed in like some plush hotel for like three days.

But for three days, he snuck to this jazz bar and did shows.

And that's where I performed.

Wow.

Wow, cool.

So

I'm doing shows here.

There's two like beautiful blondes in the front row.

And I think they might be a couple.

Yeah.

And they're a little off.

And so.

But fine.

And then we go upstairs.

I'm with the other kind of closing act, and we're just talking to them.

And they're just telling us that they used to date the same guy, and they became roommates, blah, blah, blah.

And then I get the lowdown that they've been on ketamine the whole time.

What?

And so they're like, hey, do you want to come to dinner with us?

And

it was a hard, hard thing to like find something to eat late.

So they're like, no, there's this place, Cafe Roma, it's an Italian place.

It's amazing in Sydney.

Oh, yeah.

I think I've heard of it.

It was served until like one o'clock.

So they're like, come with us.

So we all get drinks.

We all hang out.

And then I'm like,

what's the deal here?

What's going on?

So it ends up like they pay for the meal, both like kiss me as they're leaving.

And then I went back to my hotel.

I was like, this is my first night in Australia.

This is fucking amazing.

Got treated by a fucking kettlebell junkie.

Damn.

All right.

Well, Paul Morrissey, check him out.

Paul has a website.com is his website for all his tour dates.

And follow him on Twitter.

We got 10.4,000 followers.

Let's see if you can get you to 20,000.

Yeah, that'd be great.

Instagram.com slash Paul has a website.

Yeah, oh, there you are with Papa.

The comedy store.

Where's that?

Oh, that's Australia.

Yep.

Yeah.

Great club, too.

But man, those Comic Slounge guys.

Yeah, they're the best.

Grant and Dan.

They love you, man.

I I love them too.

I love them too.

I went to State of Origin with them this year.

I went to a little league game for one of their nephews.

Wait, what was the one they were 11?

They told me the story about you wearing the jersey.

Yeah.

And like, some guy, like, he was a fan, but then he saw you're wearing the jersey and got mad at you.

Because wearing a Queensland jersey.

Yeah, yeah.

It was like, fuck off.

I don't care.

And then

they took me to that,

what you call it?

Because of you.

What, what?

Oh,

yeah, that little diner place.

The late night fucking rest stop place.

Right?

Yeah, yeah.

Where all the fucking workers, I got this cup from State of Origin.

It's in the gift bag.

They give you in the tickets.

Yeah.

But I have a jersey.

I have a Queensland jersey.

Nick Cody almost got in a fight with somebody.

They're like, wrong jersey, man.

He goes, it's not wrong if you want to win.

He just went right at him.

Nick Cody rules.

He was like, I'm getting yelled.

I'm getting called that F-bomb by just random people with kids that call me.

guy.

Those guys all play American football.

So we're talking about sports the whole time.

Cowboy fans, same as me.

And then the one guy's a Yankee fan.

Thank you fan.

Same as me.

Quality, class, style.

And then they all clean the tables with their shirts off after the show.

Dude, those guys rule.

The whole club rules.

They told the guy once, we got to wrap this up.

They told the guy once, he got too drunk.

It was my first or second time there.

And every time they bring me offers now, like, oh, no, we'll do a theater.

They're like, guys, appreciate the offer.

I'm going back to Comics Lounge.

It's big enough.

Yeah.

The guys rule.

I have no interest in going anywhere else.

If I can play an arena, I'll still add a show at the Comics Lounge.

And I can't.

I never will.

But like,

so they had a guy who got too drunk before I went on.

And they had to get him out.

It's whatever.

It's a comedy club.

It's no big deal.

You got too drunk.

I think he threw up.

And so they excused him.

They quickly cleaned it.

And they're like, you can't, you come back tomorrow, but you can't be here.

And then they go,

they just told him.

He's like, I'm sorry.

He goes, well, Ari's not going on now.

And he's like, what?

No.

Like, yeah, Ari found out somebody threw up and he's not going on now because of you.

And he's like, no, I'm so sorry.

They're like, yeah, man.

Well, you fucked up.

You kind of ruined the show for all these people.

He's back there.

He's saying he's leaving.

So we got to drive him home.

So you got to get the fuck out now.

The guy was like crying.

He thought he ruined the show for 400 people.

It's hilarious.

Those guys rule so hard.

And they were like telling me, and there's not even an ounce of me that's like, oh, you shouldn't have done that.

It's like, 100%.

What a great move.

And then at the end, they drink wine with Gatorade.

Do you see when they mix that?

They just line up like nine glasses of some kind of wine and then they put Gatorade in it.

Yeah.

Because I don't know if they're all football players.

They want to get

Eastern European guy there who made you do shots?

No.

There's a guy from Alabama.

Canadian guy.

Black hair.

Not crazy short.

Somebody.

well the guy with the fake hair is the one that took me to oh yeah

brett's wild

brett's a nut yeah he was fun

uh

and then who else yeah but the wrestler i mean they filmed that movie ricky stanicky there at the club so like john cena was like that's what's fine there's santina went back because he was there for that yeah yeah no i like this club let's go norman did a theater and then rushed across town to finish up just their local showcase show yeah i mean for me comic ruled did you do uh so there was a thing called the spleen which is like their hip like monday show yeah and then arge was there so then i showed up i was just too jet-lagged every night i was like passing out by eight o'clock it was really bad this person well he was like so arge is like i do the showcase on tuesday you should just come down there and i hadn't i saw him again this time what's that you saw arge again oh yeah yeah so i saw him so we did monday tuesday together and then a headline wednesday through saturday yeah Then did the basement club before that because you know you don't get on until like 9:30 or something.

So, uh, but then Saturday I got on earlier and it was killer.

Like, I could have gone for an hour and a half.

It was great.

They're such a good audience.

And you see these dudes, like four or five dudes, and they're all drinking wine.

Yeah.

Instead of drinking shots or beers or whatever, it's like just red wine is like a normal.

So they have like two or three bottles for like 25-year-old like Fratty kids.

Yeah.

Because they're so into Pinot there.

Well, I did a thing about stubby holders yeah because you know like how what koozies are yeah so that's their stubby holder and i was like a stubby holder sounds like it's a

it's a condom for like a chod

which is like a dick that's wider than it is long

um all right we gotta wrap this up we're not even talking about switzerland anymore buddy thank you so much no thanks for having me buddy i mean not just for this fucking podcast but thank you for fucking changing my fucking course of my life hey you too man.

I think we both benefited from this.

And like, it's always good to have guys that, like, you know, there's a lot of jealousy and comedy.

There's a lot of weird stuff like that.

But I was always happy when you got all the stuff that you do, you know?

And so I appreciate that you were like always supportive of me and like helpful and stuff, you know?

Yeah, the guys you start with, there's just like different camaraders.

I didn't start with you, but I knew you before for sure.

Yeah, we talk about that.

Like what's better, older friends or newer friends, and sometimes the newer ones appreciate you more.

So we, we kind of met halfway through, so we're both kind of already doing it.

Yeah.

So I don't have the same baggage you have with all those comedy store guys.

Yeah, you get into what fucking like you're still competitive at the coffee shop you didn't get booked at?

Or this guy used to get up on Mondays when I did.

Yeah, exactly.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm better than him.

It's like, yeah, I know.

He works.

He sells cars now.

I hate him.

Yeah.

All right.

Well, cool, man.

Thanks again.

yeah thank you well everybody that is the episode thank you very much for tuning in yeah like i said uh in the bumper and the dates before like this is why i started traveling that deal we made yeah i don't think of a more influential discussion i had than me and paul over rocklet

saying hey what are we doing ari and you got to remember this isn't like i'm doing great now I wasn't doing great then.

I was doing good, but like, I remember sending a letter, a postcard

to, by the way, if you want to send postcards to me from your travels, I would love to have them.

151 First Avenue, number 49, New York, New York, 10003.

Send them to Ubi Trippin, anywhere from around the world.

Send your postcards.

I read it on the Patreon when I do it, which is less than I should.

Yeah, we're like, let's just go.

This thing is bringing us places.

We should like,

we should, like, go see the world.

Oh, so I sent a postcard.

I was in Iceland, my first gig in Iceland.

And I'm like,

so different comics relate to different like parts of, I'm just telling you insider baseball, different parts of the comedy world.

Like

a lot of guys just wanted to be stars forever.

And they, Hinchcliffe is a good example of that.

Burt is a good example of that.

They like want to be part of the party.

And that's who they relate to.

I'm a door guy.

And I'm just always going to be a door guy.

That was the most influential time in my comedy.

And

that's just who I am.

But I sent a letter.

I sent a postcard to

actually the employees of the comedy store.

I remember this now.

The phone guys, really, because that's where I started working on the phones.

Duncan Trussell hired me.

He was on the phones.

First friend in L.A.

And I sent a letter to them and I was like, and to the door guys too, to all of them.

I was like, guys, this thing will take you to crazy places.

I'm in Iceland.

Like, there should be no reason I'm ever there.

This is all after

this trip me and Paul did.

And it's just like a fucking wonderful thing.

Whatever excuse you guys can get to go traveling.

I mean, like, do it.

If you got it, if you're as a banker, why not work in Shanghai for a year or two?

Why not go play?

Like, see what affords you the ability to move and then do that.

Wanton Dunn does it.

He's like, I'll be the correspondent for Barstool.

But there's a thousand thousand of those anyway.

So, this is what started my love of travel, really.

This, then we went to Amsterdam.

In between, I went skiing with my brother.

Anyway, it was a great trip.

Paul told me one thing that I forgot to tell you guys, that we forgot to tell you about.

But first, let me just tell you his dates.

Go to Paul has a website.com for all of his dates.

In March, he's going to be the Venetian in Las Vegas.

And then in May, he's going to be the Tabernacle Theater in Atlanta.

When am I there?

April.

No, March.

May 17th, Rook Eckhart Hall in Clearwater, side splitters in Wesley Chapel, Florida.

Is that Tampa?

And then May 30th through 31st, Last Unlimited in Sacramento, California, where he's from.

Go to Paul's website.com for all those.

Myself, I will be in a bunch of places.

I will be in Providence next week.

My main thing is I got a special coming out.

America Sweetheart.

My first one in almost three years.

My next one won't be for another three years.

I don't just whip these out like a, you know, well, I don't want to shit on anybody, but like, you know, those directors have put out way too many movies.

That ain't me.

I poured myself into this.

So please tell people about it.

Set your alarm, set your calendars for January 14th.

Watch it.

If you got to leave, just let it run all the way through.

Let'll help the algorithm.

Providence this coming weekend with Adrian and I think Brendan Sagalo.

Then Salt Lake City, Brea, Nashville, San Antonio, Tampa, and Denver.

And then into March, Schaumburg, Illinois, Atlanta at the tabernacle with Adrian Appalucci, the Dark Queen.

Portland, Oregon.

She's there too.

Second show added.

San Jose, Orlando, Fort Lauderdale, Seattle, Vancouver, Calgary, Edmonton.

And finally, wrapping up with Anchorage.

And then I'm going to go do what I've been talking about on this podcast.

I'm going to do some traveling.

Don't worry about it.

You don't have to worry about it, but

it'll keep going.

This podcast will keep going.

Give these guys some fucking work to do while i'm gone and uh

you know i'll do some from i'll do some more remote ones

today's episode has been produced by your mom's house network these fucking

drug addicts in the other room are uh beautifully editing this that was edited actually not by any of these

but by a nice man

named Alan Caffey.

Anyway, that's it, you guys.

Please subscribe.

Tell your friends about it.

My special America sweetheart.

Coming this week.

I'm super excited.

Next week on the podcast, Bert,

the Machine Kreischer, finally on here.

One of the guys I've wanted on for forever.

He'll be on next week.

Subscribe so you can get notified of that.

Guys, go out and see the world.

It's a fucking great place.

There's literally no trip you can make that's the wrong trip.

Even stuff that goes terrible.

You're going to look back on and go, that was a great time.

Burt Kreischer next week, Tucker Carlson, the week after that.

Maybe Jim Gaffigan after that.

Oh, it's just up and up and up.

If you have any suggestions for people,

musicians, anybody that's been on cool trips, please suggest them in the comments on YouTube.

Subscribe on Spotify on YouTube, and that's it, guys.

I love you all.

Go out and see the world.

It's amazing.

Goodbye.

Hasta La Vista.

I don't know how to say goodbye in Swiss.

I don't know.

Yeah, I don't know.

How do you say goodbye in Swiss?

Hey, Siri, how do you say goodbye in Swiss?

You can't translate into Swiss.

Alright, well fuck off.

Abrida Zen?

Avrida Lusch?

I love that.

Abridalus.

Some of these Germans I hear talking, and I'm like, you guys are dorks.