Ireland w/ Greg Fitzsimmons | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

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Where you been and where you going?

This is our race travel show, yeah.

We're gonna talk about travel today.

It's you'll be tripping, yeah.

Hello, everybody.

Welcome to UB Tripping.

Wow, you're really good at this.

You just like, it's like something in you just turns on and then.

I was gonna, well, yeah.

Where is that always?

It seems pretty fake, right?

We can sit here for an hour and a half just talking like human beings.

And then all of a sudden, the camera comes on, and you're like, Mario Lopez.

Oh, my God.

I got to do it again.

No,

we're going to do it again.

Welcome to the podcast.

Those at home, me and Greg are hanging out.

That's the podcast with the most amount of hemorrhoids in the podcast scene.

And every week we go on a different trip to a different place

and such.

Yeah.

Hey, buddy.

It is weird when you, every time I go into a fucking hotel room, it's like Mario is my guest.

You turn on your

TV.

Well, he tells you what movies are on.

Oh, really?

Oh, you never saw that?

Nuh.

As soon as you turn on your TV in the hotel, it's him hired by the house.

So he's like, like, hey, I'm Mario Lopez.

Get together for a couple of wacky vacationers.

Charlize Theron.

He tells you the pay-per-view movies.

God, that guy, what a career he's had.

Yep.

What a career.

She was just an actor, and then he just goes to like being a fucking hot guy.

Hot guy who, and this is not, I'm not spreading rumors.

This is fact.

I mean, like Wikipedia, fact.

Yeah.

He went on his honeymoon with his wife and cheated on her on the honeymoon, and she divorced him before they got home.

Yeah.

And he's like a devout Catholic.

What?

I mean, story tracks.

Those Catholics.

You can't repress.

You can't.

You can't repress people.

This is what they're going to do.

I saw outside Montreal that that

strip club that we used to do that's not happening at.

Yeah.

It gets seedy right at, at like at midnight.

Uh-huh.

And we saw like a fucking Hasidic Jew dropping off a fucking hooker, a fat black lady hooker out of his car.

Nice.

Can't repress.

Yeah.

I know.

Like if you think about the people that are in open marriages and then you say to them, yeah, but how often do you guys step out?

They're like,

almost never.

It's because you're allowed to.

Yeah, right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Do it, whatever.

And it's like, one-on-one anymore.

Did they add a national aquarium, I think, or the one at Baltimore, maybe they had one of the fish tanks and it said, do not touch the water, like on it.

And it's like, oh, and then all the fish swim at you, and you're like, oh, it's piranha?

Why would you give us the option?

Yeah.

And the sign is just.

So you're saying Catholic priests are like piranhas?

Oh, interesting.

Yeah, maybe.

Maybe.

Yeah, how could you not cheat, though?

If you're that hot and chicks want to just throw themselves at you,

it's not the same playing field.

Well, that's why you shouldn't be allowed to get married if you're a 10.

Nines and below can get married.

It's just unreasonable.

Yeah.

To have a 10 and be locked up.

To be a 10 and be locked up.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's crazy.

No, and no, no way.

No.

Imagine if you think you're a 10 dude, but you're just like a rich guy with stockbroker looking good.

Right.

I make $4 million a year.

And then she's on her treadmill and she steps up next to some fucking half a billionaire.

Yeah.

See ya.

Yeah.

No, no.

Mo, my mom thinks you're a great catch, but we're done now.

Yeah, right.

Yeah, that's why you and I, we know our women love us.

Yeah.

They're not with you for your fucking scalp.

Nope.

All right, Ireland.

That's where we're headed.

You're going to tell me about that.

Where'd you go?

Tell me about the whole thing.

Well, when

I graduated high school.

Okay.

Oh, before even college?

Yeah, it was before college.

I'm so jealous of this whole thing.

Every time I hear about a fucking 18- to 25-year-old trip, I'm just like forlorn.

Yeah.

Well,

I think my father had kind of a wild few years before he got settled down.

So I kind of, I think he gave me the advice to do this.

But I got out of high school.

I had no intention of going to college at all.

Yeah.

So I graduated high school.

I started working at TGI Fridays.

I was a cook.

I was a line cook.

And then I parked cars during the day at a country club.

So I saved up.

I just remember I worked for six months and I saved up $3,000, which sounds like not a lot of money.

No, it does not sound like a lot of money.

Back then, $3,000 got me.

I went to Europe for six months by myself.

Europe?

And backpacked around

and came home with money in my pocket.

Yeah.

Youth hostels, hitchhiking.

Three grand in Europe.

Yep.

For some cases.

Well, it's 1984.

Right, I guess so.

Yeah.

Yeah.

20 years later,

it'd be about a thousand a month to live low, low level in only Southeast Asia.

Oh, this was low level.

Yeah, this was very low level.

So I get to Ireland and I

meet up with this kid.

I go to Cork City, which is a great city in Ireland.

Okay.

And I meet up with this kid who's like, I got a buddy back in New York who's got a cousin in Ireland.

And he's like, oh, you got to, you got to meet up with my cousin if you're going to Cork City.

So I call the kid and he's like, all right, yeah, meet me at the court.

It's a bar was called the courthouse.

Yeah.

It was across the street from the courthouse.

And I walk in and

I walk in and he immediately fucking knows it's me because I got a backpack on and I'm wearing a pea coat.

Wearing a pea coat in Ireland.

And he comes over and he's like, I can just see that he's got a gun to his head.

He's like,

How's it going, Lad?

How are you?

No fucking interest in me.

And he's in college.

And so

I end up drinking with him that night.

And in Ireland, you go,

if there's three guys, then you each buy a round.

It's just, if you're with six people, you're going to drink six beers that night.

If you're with 10 guys and they say if it's your turn, they go, the tide's out, lad.

That means you got to go get the drinks.

I love that.

So I drank hard with him that night.

We hit it off.

We end up, I stay at his house, and I end up spending like

three weeks at his house with his parents.

And he's got like six brothers and sisters.

And

then I was like, all right, I'm heading off.

So he goes, I'm coming with you.

So he takes off from school.

What?

Takes a break and we hitchhike.

Over,

we're in Cork and we're going through to Kerry, which I think, and McCroon was the name of the town.

Do you have Macron up on the map?

Macroon.

So I think it's between Cork and Kerry.

M-A-C-R-O-O, no, and Macron.

Macron.

Macron.

And

so you hitchhike, and the thing is, in Ireland back then, is

everybody hitchhikes.

Oh, there it is.

Macroon.

That's what it is.

And everybody hitchhikes.

So it is.

41-minute drive.

It's not that bad.

Do you hitchhike that far?

Yeah, we hitchhiked from Cork to Macroom.

And yeah, so it's not that far.

But to get out of Cork, there's all these college students and they all go home on the weekends.

And so they just line up and you get in queue on the way out of town to hitchhike.

And it's like, you get up, you get picked up, and then the next hitchhiker gets up and they hitchhike.

People just kept picking you up.

And they just, they, not every car, but like in a rotation, you get picked up.

And obviously the hot chicks get picked up right away.

But not you.

No.

And so

we get to, so we're heading, we're trying to get to Killarney, I think.

And we only get to, we, we get, the ride we get is to Macroom.

And we're like, what the fuck is Macroom?

This is before there's GPS on your phone or anything.

And we got a map out.

It's not even on the map.

And so we get out and

we find

an Airbnb.

It's just called a bed and breakfast.

Yeah.

And it's an lady.

And she's like, okay, you got to be, you have to be in the house by 10 o'clock tonight.

And so we said, okay.

And we go out and we get some fish and chips.

And then we find that there's a, they call them disco techs.

Like instead of nightclubs, they were called discotex.

Oh, really?

Discotex, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And they're just like, it's just like a basically a glorified, you know, pub.

And we go in.

With dancing.

With dancing.

Yeah.

And we're the only, we're the only kids not from Makroom in this town.

And then they start playing Sugar Hill Gang

and run DMC.

And they're really into.

And I'm from the suburbs of New York, but I tell them I'm from New York.

Yeah.

And then I start break dancing.

What?

Really?

Not well.

Well, I was a gymnast.

I grew up as a gymnast.

And so I knew I could do standing back flips.

I could do back hamstrings.

I knew how to spin on my back.

I could pop and lock a little bit.

Yeah, I wasn't good.

The popping and the locking are not as good, but the acrobatic stuff.

And so I could do

a spin?

Yeah, yeah.

You could go down and spin house.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

And so I'm doing that.

And you got to picture me in a discotheque in Macroom, Ireland.

I'm suddenly like a superstar.

This kid's from New York and he's brain dancing on the floor.

And so girls are like, we're getting attention and we're hanging out with the guys.

And we uh

we meet these two girls and then we uh we go back to their place and i'm with my buddy tio it's theo but in ireland you pronounce it to oh yeah and we go back to their place and you know i'm 18 tio's probably 20 and these girls are probably like 27

and so we go into their place and we I start fooling around with the one girl.

And then the other girl, like, we're starting to get into it, which in Ireland is probably like, I was lucky to get some tit.

You know, that was probably going to be all I was going to get that night.

And then I hear screaming from the other room.

Meanwhile, you know, I don't know what Tio is capable of.

I don't, you know, what the fuck's the word?

I just, well, I've known him for a few weeks, but like, I've never seen him in the wild.

I've never seen him in Macroom.

Action.

Action Tio.

Yeah.

Action TO.

And so

I go running in, and she's screaming because

he passed out on her bed.

And so she's freaking out because she can't wake him.

And so.

Just drunk?

Yeah, he's just drunk.

We're wasted.

And so I'm shaking him and he won't wake up.

And so she likes, she opens the window and starts screaming.

And it was so weird.

She was like reacting to him falling asleep.

And so these guys come up and they

come in and we get into kind of a fight with these two guys.

And so we run out.

It was literally like

a foot race.

And then they like pushed us and they left us alone and we went back.

But now it's like two o'clock in the morning.

Yeah, you're not exactly.

And we go back.

We can't get into the place.

So we sneak in through the window.

And

we get up and we're and we get up the next morning.

And the woman's mad at us, but it's part of the deal.

She's got to make you breakfast.

And she's got

a furnace like yours

your your heater yeah but it's like from the 1940s so it's big and she's got her underwear drying on the grates of the heater

yeah yeah and they're thermal they're like old lady underwear and they're thermal

and i and and they and i remember that the the bed and breakfast in ireland the irish breakfast is like oh it's the best it's the best yeah oh every type of pork you can imagine.

Sausage,

bacon,

blood pudding, which is basically intestine with blood in it.

It's good, though.

It's great.

And then they take fried eggs and beans and tomato.

And then they take fried eggs and they, yeah, and they just fry one side of the egg, but they burn it.

See how it's got black on the edges?

Yeah.

They burn the egg and then

tons of butter and marmalade.

And so we get that.

And then,

when they left the room, Tio takes one of the sausages and he puts it in

the crotch of the underwear that are hanging off the heater.

And now we can't stop fucking laughing.

And she goes, What are you boys laughing about?

What's going on with you?

And so

we finish, and then she finally throws us out.

We're out on the street, and we just stand in front of her guest house, just hitchhiking.

Hitchhiking away.

It's hiking away.

And this car pulls up and uh

and they they pull over and we start running for the car and then uh tio is so fucked up still that he throws up

and the car just pulls off like no way and it was like three hours later we were still standing in front of her house and you can see her looking in the window like look at these

get out of here like we're trying

That's so embarrassing, too.

Like, fine, lady, goodbye.

Yeah.

And the goons are probably looking for us from the night before.

What were they mad about?

I don't know if T.O.

didn't tell me the whole story, but.

Oh, yeah, that's it.

You know.

Yeah.

What was she screaming?

She was just screaming.

He just passed out.

Yeah.

Did he vomit his own mouth?

I don't think he vomited.

I don't think we...

I don't think he pissed the bed.

He did not.

Oh, yeah, that would have been a bad one.

Yeah.

But yeah, look at that Irish breakfast.

Oh, it's got it all labeled.

Fried egg.

Oh, mushroom.

Soda bread.

Is that a thing?

Yeah, Irish soda bread.

Okay.

It's kind of like a cake.

My mom has a famous recipe that's been handed down for apparently like six or seven generations.

in my family, which is amazing because I didn't even know we had ovens going that far back.

There was a famine.

I don't know how we had an oven.

Just like, hey, if we ever get bread again, soda bread is our recipe.

Remember that for your grandkids.

Yeah.

So,

yeah, my mom makes a really good Irish soda bread.

It's got raisins and caraway seeds and buttermilk.

Oh, hell yeah.

Was this your first time to Australia?

So what else is it?

The grilled tomatoes?

Yeah, that's always good.

Better than you think it'd be, the grilled tomatoes.

Yep.

Mushrooms.

Mushrooms, which they, which grow like crazy in Ireland because it's like, it's just damp and

there's a lot of woods.

Yeah, black pudding.

Yeah, we talked about sausages.

Yeah.

Hash browns.

This is very well marked for fucking breakfast, whatever the site is.

I can remember.

Yeah.

And then butter, yeah.

Fried oil.

Yeah.

And then brown sugar in the middle.

That's what that is?

Yeah.

Interesting.

Yeah.

And you're Irish.

Was this your first time to Ireland?

It was.

I was 18.

Yeah.

And, you know, my grandparents, all four of my grandparents came over like

steerage.

Like, they came over on boats from Ireland.

Yeah.

Whoa.

And why?

Famine?

They

were were all like, my grandfather, my mom's side was one of 13 and his wife was one of 11.

And it was like, why are you still fucking?

They had a two-room farmhouse.

I found my grandfather's house.

At nine, you'd be like,

we're far past enough, right?

Right.

Far past enough.

Yeah.

Why are you still fucking it?

Well, look at the fucking these refugee camps in, you know,

in Syria, where people have fucking 15 kids.

What is it about a refugee camp that turns these chicks on so much?

I'm doing all this work for fucking nice art.

And when you really get them to take their paintings down, it's a refugee camp.

This is art?

Well, it's not here.

I paid $30 for that.

Well, it's because there's no fat chicks in refugee camps.

No fat chicks.

That's why there's so much sex.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You work up an appetite stabbing someone for bread.

Hey, guys, I just got to break in real quick from this amazing pocket.

What a fun time in this guy's life, Craig Fitzsimmons.

But you know what?

It's a fun time

when he released a stand-up comedy special called You Know Me that's available right now at Greg Fitzsimmons Comedy on YouTube.

youtube.com slash at Greg Fitzsimmons Comedy.

You know me, the brand new, long-awaited special from Greg Fitzsimmons, one of the best in the business.

I'm not saying that lightly.

He has been one of the top comics for decades, like three full decades.

People sleep sometimes on him because he's not a new name on the circuit, but he's actually fucking hilarious.

He never fucking, some of his best bits I've ever, I remember those bits.

I can't piss into a toilet without thinking of his bit about, you know, shitting on pissy water, pissing on shitty water.

He's great.

He's great, man.

He's also got a lot of tour dates coming up that I'm going to read you right now.

Comedy Works next week in Denver, Colorado.

Best club in the fucking world.

August 29th, 31st.

Then September, they got the motherships already sold out.

The Montserrat Winery in Temecula on the 21st.

North Pole Alehouse in Alaska.

Anchorage in North Pole, Alaska, I'm sorry.

The Spur in Fairbanks, Alaska Centennial Center and Fairbanks.

Wow, fucking cool, man.

Alaska trip.

And then in October, November, December, he's going to be in Tulsa, Tacoma, and finishing up December 5th through 7th, the punchline in San Francisco.

You can go to gregfitsimmons.com for all his tour dates.

As for me, I got nothing to promote.

I'm not going on the road anytime soon.

So I would just say just subscribe wherever you're listening to this podcast, wherever you're watching.

I've also got merch available on the website, ari shapeer.com uh grinders t-shirts the new ju vinyl that's finally finally out i saw one little misprint i had to go back and correct it i spent a lot more money on that it's a deluxe double album that you guys are gonna fucking love head over to ari shapeer.com for that and uh stay tuned for the outro where i'll do a sample patreon you'll be tripping patreon

and read these postcards i'm getting these postcards from around the world from listeners i read them on the patreon i'll do one for the outro for this anyway but that's it.

Congratulations, Greg Fitzsimmons, on the fucking special.

It's the biggest moment in comics' life.

Guys, go just go over there right now.

Wherever you're watching, just stop what you're doing right now.

Head on over.

Just Google You Know Me on YouTube, Greg Fitzsimmons.

Just quickly leave a comment.

Let's just leave a comment about it saying you came here from this.

And in the outro, I'll leave you

or say,

I like those odds.

And later, we'll see what that means.

It's a fun part of the podcast.

All right, let's get back to it.

Just go quickly, leave it, comment, help the algorithm, help everybody see the fucking special.

Do that right now.

Let's get back to it.

Greg Fitzsimmons in Ireland.

So where were you headed?

Why would you go from one place to another?

Were you just trying to see everything?

Yeah, I was trying to see it all.

I mean, I was supposed to only,

I was going to go for six months, and I was going to spend like a couple weeks in Ireland and then move on.

But then I got there and I just fell in love with

the country.

Did you play golf at that time?

I did.

I didn't play there, but I played at the Salth Hill Golf Club in Galway, which is up more in the northwest.

Okay.

And

Salt Hill Golf Club, yeah.

So did you feel like connected to it and shit?

Because I did.

The second I landed, I was just like, these are my people.

Really?

Yeah, I got in.

Actually, I landed in London and then I took a train from London out to

Wales.

Okay.

I think the town was Lawrence or something.

Boom, boom.

Yeah.

So we went out to Wales and then you take the boat from there over to Dublin.

And then I got to Dublin and I was and I got to a...

What year was this?

Like 84.

84, okay.

Yeah.

And I got to the

bed breakfast and Ireland is is very dank it's very moist and so the first night in the bed and breakfast i had an asthma attack yeah that was so bad that the the lady that ran the hotel she was a big tough irish broad and she literally i was like hanging over her and she carried like half carried me to the hospital and they checked me in they put me on a ventilator an ivy and i spent like four days in the hospital i remember i read cujo the book Cujo.

The whole book while you were in there?

The whole book.

That's all.

I don't think there was a TV in my room.

It was just like, you know, fucking.

Just to stop having asthma from being a fucking inbred?

Yeah.

Wow.

I mean, they were like, we can't cure you.

You're just fucked up.

Yeah.

And they gave me a lot of Irish soda bread.

And the best thing was, like, in Ireland, it's socialized medicine.

So I'm thinking, all right, my 3,000's gone.

Like, this, this bill is going to.

And they're just like,

all right, thanks for coming.

And they give me a bottle of pills.

Yeah.

And they're like,

off with you.

And I was it.

Not a dime.

Wow.

Yeah.

Wow.

What?

Not even like a $10 or $15 copay?

Nothing.

What?

Nothing.

Just free food for four days?

Yep.

And a woman and a nurse who would come by like three times a day.

No, better.

What?

Yeah.

What's better?

What's better than a woman?

What's better than a woman who comes by three times a day to suck you off?

I would say probably twice a day.

Yeah, three times.

This last one's worse.

Twice one day.

Every day, it's just like, we can skip.

I don't need it on Tuesday.

Yeah, that's like that old joke about like the winner, the winner gets

three weeks in Atlantic City.

Second place, two weeks in Atlantic City.

And so

she would come by, this nurse would come by three times a day, and

she would beat on me like I was a drum to loosen up the phlegm in my chest so I could breathe.

And she would just be like,

and it felt really good.

And it felt very caring.

That's nice.

Yeah.

Damn.

And that didn't sour you on fucking Ireland?

No.

It's been your first four days, five days.

The same thing happened to John F.

Kennedy when he went over there.

Asthma.

Asthma.

Went to the hospital.

Because it's so moist.

Damn, I don't recognize it as moist.

It's subtropic, technically.

Because the Atlantic is coming off the

west coast.

Yeah.

Like this way.

Yeah, but then I think the other side of the country is...

Subtropic.

What does that mean?

I think the currents that are traveling.

Oh, so it's moist in some way.

Yeah.

Damn.

Okay, so you got to Dublin.

How'd you find Dublin?

I liked it, but I really wanted to be in the countryside.

Yeah, Dublin's touristy now.

Yeah.

It was still like, you know, it was a big city.

I liked it, but I really wanted to like do a lap of the country.

Yeah.

So

I went down south.

I was hitchhiking.

This is so fucking cool.

I assumed you were.

I was like, he must have rented a car.

Nope.

No, 84 at 18.

No way.

No money.

I just had, this is before credit cards.

So I had traveler's checks.

So if they get stolen, they replace them.

It's so old.

I barely remember.

So if they get stolen, you can be like, hey, someone took my traveler's checks.

Yep.

And then the whole time you must have been like, I should just fake lose these.

Well, to use them, you have to sign them.

But yeah, you have to show ID and you have to sign them to get them cashed.

But the problem is you're if you're jumping from like later on in the trip I would be in two days in Belgium and then I would be two days in France and and so each time you go to a different country you have to cash a traveler's check, which are for, you know, like 500 bucks or 100 bucks.

And I'm only spending 50 to 100 for the day.

So now I've got all these, this is before the Euro.

So I have a pocket full of fucking French money.

And now I got to convert.

And every time you change it, you got to pay a brokerage.

You lose so much.

Yeah.

They tell you the exchange rate.

You're like, all right, not great, but okay.

And then they give you like a quarter of that.

Yeah.

Right.

So you're trying to like very judiciously cash your checks.

How do you cash a traveler's check?

Where do you go?

You have to go to a post office or a bank

and you sign it and you show ID, your passport.

God damn, what an old way to fucking go.

No GPS.

So it's all like, I had a backpack just filled with fucking maps and you're like standing on the side of the road

and, you know,

you can't make reservations.

You don't even know if you're going that way or that way.

No.

Whoa.

You had no reservations.

Yeah.

God damn.

How do you how how

so like how do you even get you get to a town?

It's like so hard to comprehend.

You get off the bus or what I get.

He lets you off.

Yeah.

And then we just find somebody.

There was a book called Let's Go and it was a travel book.

There was Let's Go Europe.

There was Let's Go Ireland.

Let's Go Italy.

And

it would have

like every town in it.

And then you get to that town and it would tell you

a cheap place to stay.

It was like kind of like traveling on a budget.

Let's go to Ireland on a budget.

Let's go to Ireland on a budget.

Yeah.

So it would tell you like a place you could get a falafel.

Oh, and an inn.

It feels like Lonely Planet.

But

right.

And so

you'd get to town and you'd try to find that place.

You just, I mean, the best part was it made you interact with people because you were constantly asking for directions.

Yeah.

And then people in Ireland would often like take you in or they'd take you there or they'd buy you a drink.

And it was like.

Why, because you're just foreign?

They weren't sick of Americans at this point.

And did you want to hear stories about America or they just thought you were cute?

Most of them sent relatives over to America in their past.

So they had like this kinship to Americans who came over.

Was this a hatred of English then?

Oh, yeah.

Okay.

This was during the Troubles.

So the Trouble.

Do you know about the Troubles?

A bit.

It's basically what Israel and Palestine has had.

It's kind of like how Ireland and England.

You guys fighting over the one bottle of sunblock?

Yes.

Exactly.

There's just intracted war where there's generations of people that feel like, you know, look, you killed my brother.

I'm not going to forgive that.

And they're feeling the same way.

So.

Harris Pete had a joke about Ireland.

He goes, you know, there's racism and hatred all over the world, but in Ireland, white

Anglo-Saxon

Catholic Christians hate the white Anglo-Saxon Puritan or whatever it is

Christians.

It just goes to show you.

Hatred finds a way.

They're exactly the same, Protestant.

It's like you guys are both Jesus people.

Well, but I think they blame a lot of

strife is blamed on religion when really it's about real estate.

It's usually countries fighting over real estate, and they try to blame religion.

Oh, interesting.

I mean, that's probably,

you could probably take the other side of that.

What do you mean?

I mean, there's a lot of other, there's a lot of people who argue that it's the religion, that it's the indoctrination, but

I think it's economics.

Well, the Catholics own more of it.

So they were like a clan?

No, the Protestants did.

Own more.

And the Catholics were like, fuck off.

Yeah.

Let us breathe.

Yeah, I mean, the Protestants came in with their guns and their big army.

I mean, it's the British Empire organized.

And the Irish were just simple fucking farming people.

We've been occupied for 800 years.

Damn.

Yeah.

Was that thing of train spawning when they're talking about the Irish being better than them?

Because at least the Irish like fought back or something.

I forgot what it was.

Yeah.

They never stopped fighting.

Yeah.

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Okay, so

we get down.

So we pull the map back up.

So we head down and we get to, I get to Wexford, was it?

Wexford.

Is that what that team team is?

No, that's Wrexham.

Wicklow.

So we get to Wicklow, and then Wexford is down below that.

And you're just trying to see everything?

Yeah, I'm trying to stop it.

Well, it was really, it wasn't like I was trying to see.

It was like I picked a direction and I hitchhiked.

And wherever I ended up that night, that's where I would stay.

Well, that's so fucking cool.

Because also, like, you're just, you're not seeing anything in particular.

You're just trying to see the country.

Well, that's a beautiful thing about Ireland: there's nothing to see.

There's no Leaning Tower of Pisa.

There's no pyramids.

There's no Eiffel Tower.

It's just bars and beautiful green countryside.

Was what month of the year was this?

What time period?

I was there from October until late December.

What?

Yeah.

Wow.

So it was kind of cold.

It was nasty, and it rains a lot.

It's like a cold

rank, and it's kind of drizzling a lot, and then it comes down in sheets.

This in the summer seems like it'd be awesome.

Yeah.

Yeah.

In November and December, maybe not so much.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And so,

so I'm staying in different towns and then

meeting girls, but never getting very far.

Like, I think I was.

It's so Catholic.

I didn't get, no, I had game, but I, but I didn't get laid in three months.

I didn't get laid once.

And I was an 18-year-old.

Yeah, this was hair, Greg, right?

I was not hard on the eyes.

Right.

Ari, I was.

Pull up the picture.

Of what?

You?

Do you have a young Greg?

No, I don't think so.

There's got to be.

Young Greg Fitzsimmons.

Hold up.

Well, there's some hair.

Oh, hey, there he is.

Whoa.

And this is way later.

That's in my 30s.

Yeah.

What?

Not bad, right?

No, not bad.

Okay, yeah, yeah.

This is way later.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's when'd you when did you lose it all?

I was probably 29 in that picture.

Here, it's like, okay, beginning of the end.

Yeah.

And then here, you've already started to like frown and you cut off the top of your head on purpose.

Oh, did we, did we frame it wrong?

I didn't even know.

It goes to such a frown for those levels.

Do you think I had a headshot where I cut off my forehead after?

Maybe it was just a little bit left.

Yeah.

No, nothing.

Yeah, you had a headshot where you cut it off.

Well, if you want to see something really funny,

Google Greg Fitzsimmons and Rogaine.

What?

Okay.

When I was about that age and that headshot that you just saw where the hairline's starting to go.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Rogain extra strength is proven to work for four out of five men.

I like my chances.

Rogain has extra strength.

It is proven to stop hair loss or regrow hair.

Rogaine extra strength proven to work.

That's so fucking funny.

Oh, thank God.

You're a one of five.

So, like, if you can look at your future, it's so like, well, it turns out,

you know, one out of five is a real number.

They didn't mention that fifth guy with Dr.

Fauci.

He got everything right.

It's so confident.

Rogain extra strength is proven to work.

Look at that.

Yeah.

Could have gone the other way.

Yep.

So

my agent calls me up.

I'm like 29 years old.

I'm getting ready to move out to LA.

My agent calls me up and he goes, hey, I got a commercial for you.

And I was like, great.

And he goes, it's for Rogane.

And I go, yeah, but my hair's not really falling out.

And he's like,

yeah.

So anyway, the offer, he goes, it's

going to see it right there.

It's that big crown.

Anyway, like,

well, let's not talk about that, but the offer is.

So he's like, I was like, look, man, I'm about to move out to L.A.

I want to do some acting.

Pilot season's coming up.

And I don't want to be known as the Rogane guy.

He's like, he's like, dude, this is going to run on like ESPN 6 at 3 in the morning during Korean women's badminton.

Don't worry about it.

He goes,

you'll make like $40,000 because

it was like five ads.

$40,000, health insurance.

Take it.

And I go, I don't know.

He goes, nobody's going to say it.

All right.

So I take it.

I shoot it.

I move out to L.A.

and then

March Madness starts.

And it's running on March Madness.

Every one one of your friends sees it.

I get my answering machine is fucking

Strangers.

I'd be walking on the street and guys would be like, hey, I like my chances.

It's so fucking dumb.

Man, I like my chances.

Only rogue.

Maybe that's what I should call my special.

I like my chances.

I like my chances.

It's so confident for a guy who knows about to go bald.

I've been watching The Old Sex in the Cities.

I'm starting to watch them.

Yeah.

They're such a bad show.

Yeah.

It's so bad.

I'm starting to understand like there's two characters that are really just sketch actresses and not like, they're not actually, you shouldn't care about them.

Right.

But it's so interesting to watch it knowing the redhead chick is a lesbian.

Oh,

interesting.

And so when you watch it with that knowledge, which means she was always a lesbian.

Yeah.

That means she was a lesbian then, right?

She didn't become one, yeah.

So, and then you're like, She's so mean to men, and you're like, Oh, right, yeah, she's a dyke, she's fucking hating this attention, she's not attracted to any of them.

Of course, she's cranky, yeah, wow, she really plays this subtext well on this series.

She knew what they were going to turn her into and fucking the reunion show.

I like those odds.

Um,

I just saw a lesbian do a sex scene.

Oh,

fucking, did you watch Bad Lieutenant?

You don't watch TV much, no?

I I watch like shows, though.

Bad Lieutenant, not Bad Lieutenant, True Detective.

I saw some of the latest one, though.

All right, the one set.

Yeah, so there's a scene where Jodi Foster's having sex, like hard.

No, really?

This guy is pounding her into the wall in the bathroom.

Bathroom is somewhere, but it's like, it's like up against a wall.

And you can't, and I hate to say it because I'd like to think that gay actors can play straight characters and vice versa, versa, but when you're watching her.

Yes.

Just so people know, the Google is gay anal sex.

Nothing more creative than that.

Look at the guy on the right.

He's taking it up the ass and he's also stroking himself.

Like, give it up for the other guy.

Is this got to be all about you?

On the right.

Oh, this one.

The big one.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's got to get something.

You got it.

You got to take care of yourself even now?

That's just selfish.

It's so moist.

So glistening.

What have I done?

Okay.

Oh, my God.

Just a couple of guys hanging out of your apartment at 11.15.

They're getting some gay porn.

Okay, so you're just going from city to city.

This is so fucking fucking cool.

Yeah.

So what do you do?

Just go to bars and go to those fucking city bars and stuff?

Yeah, you see sessions.

So every bar would have a session almost every night.

There'd be just people come in with a fiddle,

somebody bring in some drums, somebody have a guitar, somebody have

a flute, and they would just play traditional Irish music, which I knew pretty well because I grew up in a very Irish family.

My grandparents,

you know, used to sing Irish songs, and my grandfather would recite Irish limericks.

So you could sing along with them?

Yeah.

Lose those standards.

Yeah.

Wow.

Is this the kind where there's no like speakers?

It's just like them playing.

So if you get kind of far away from the film,

I mean, it's the size of twice the size of this room.

And there's a fireplace going, and you got a pint of Guinness.

And

I get a Guinness right now.

How trigger would you be if I drink a Guinness while you talk about bars?

Do it.

Are you cool with it?

No, go ahead.

Okay.

What do you mean?

Like, I'm not in bars every night of the week.

That's the point.

So, yeah, so a pint of Guinness, and I was under the illusion up until we went to Ireland last summer, and I was under the illusion that Guinness had more alcohol in it than regular beer.

It's actually less.

It's crazy.

It doesn't make any sense.

Yeah.

It doesn't make any sense.

Yeah.

What is that ball in there?

What is that?

Why do they have that?

It has something to do with the carbonation.

Everybody says that.

It's not really an answer, though.

So you would just drink and go to these places and go to these places and you just sit down.

Do you think it was cool with it, too?

He would just hang with you?

Well, this is before I got to court.

Right, right.

This is where I was on my own.

And you'd sit at the bar and

I put bread in my jar and say, man,

what are you doing here?

What?

Say that again?

I was singing the piano, man.

I was like, none of that makes sense.

Some of Billy Joel's lyrics are just so incredibly

great.

And then some of it is just the worst.

You know?

Yeah.

I love you just the way you are.

It's one of the most

subtle, beautiful love songs ever written.

And then Uptown Girl,

you've been living in your Uptown World.

It's just saying the same thing twice.

What does that mean?

Yeah.

How is the Go?

Uptown Girl?

You've been living uptown in the Uptown World.

I'm just a downtown guy, man.

That's what I am.

Oh,

here we go.

I bet she's never had a backstreet guy.

I bet her mama never told her why.

But he's gone for it.

I'm going to try for an uptown girl.

She's living in her whitebread world.

Aren't you white bread?

Yeah, what does that mean?

Billy Joel?

You're a backstreet guy?

Yeah.

That's always funny when guys call themselves like backstreet guys.

That's the same thing I'm hood.

Yeah.

Oh, did you go to music school in your back streets?

Graduate from the school of hard knocks.

And when she knows what she wants from her time, and when she wakes up and makes up her mind.

She'll see I'm not so tough just because I'm in love with an uptown girl.

Wait.

Oh, I get it.

So he's a downtown.

He's downtown.

He's trash.

Yeah.

That did not have that version of New York anymore.

Like,

where do you live?

Uptown?

Greenwich Village?

That's the expensive place now.

Now it is.

Yeah.

And uptown is all the black people.

Way, way uptown.

Well, when you say uptown, when I think uptown in New York, I think of Harlem.

Oh, wow.

That's, I, my, it just goes blank in my mind after like 98th Street.

It's just like, it just faded off in a fog.

Because why would you be up there?

Harlem does rule now.

It's gotten nicer.

And black people love gentrification there.

Do they?

Because they own the buildings.

Yes.

So it just raised their value when whites moved.

Thank you, Bill Clinton.

He sold it to him?

He, I don't know if he resold it to him, but

he brought gentrification to a whole new level.

I think he had offices on 125th Street.

Oh, yeah, they went up there for like the library and stuff.

Yeah.

Okay, back to Ireland.

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all right so then i go uh to so then i get to skibberine which is in cork so are you you're picking a direction south north whatever and just going there are you like using the sun to be like well it's got to be that that way if well i was kind of using a lot the let's go ireland book was my that was my but it didn't have a lot of information like for for one city it might have one page for all your information So you're kind of figuring it out.

And then you'd run into other backpackers and then they would say, oh, there's this great place here.

And they'd give you the number of somebody in that town and you'd look them up.

And you know, it became like a network.

That network is so cool and helpful.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Where you're just like, oh, I had this awesome thing.

You should go there.

The best was I was in my

fifth, I spent the last month of the trip in Greece, and I was, I was getting very low on funds, but I had just enough money to,

or at the time, I had enough money to buy a ticket to see.

I'm a Bruce Springsteen fanatic, and ever since I was a kid, I love Bruce.

So now I go over there, and somebody goes, Do you want to, I have one ticket to see Bruce on the 4th of July on the Born in the USA tour in Wembley Stadium in London.

I was flying out, not making this up.

July 5th, I had my ticket home from London.

So, and I had a URL pass, which do you know what a URL pass is?

Well, you just get to go anywhere?

You could travel anywhere in Europe for free.

And so I bought a one-month pass, but then it was paper.

This is back before anything was laminator, had photos on it or anything.

And so you take a

razor blade and you just lightly go over the number and you change the date.

And so I just changed it so I got a six-month URL pass.

And so I'm in Greece and I basically went from Greece.

You can take boats and trains

on a URL pass.

So I was on the beach in

Greece and then I took the train across Europe, got to London, went to Wembley Stadium and saw, to this day, the greatest concert I've ever seen in my life.

Like four hours.

What?

Wembley Stadium, born in the USA tour.

Wow.

Flew home the next day.

Wow.

Got to the airport, called my mom from Newark, and I was like, Hey, mom, I'm home.

And meanwhile, like, we didn't really talk much on the phone because it was so expensive from over there.

I would talk to them like once every month or two.

And I was like, I'm home.

I was like, come get me.

She's like, you just hitchhiked all around Europe.

You can't get home from Newark.

So I hitchhiked home from Newark airport.

No, you did not.

Yep.

Did you really?

Well, I mean, I live in the suburbs.

It took me an hour.

It's a different time for black people.

This is such a cool fucking trip.

Yeah.

And so

and you never fucked the whole three months?

No.

No.

Damn.

What was your favorite places?

I loved Kenmare because that was, see in the bottom left, Kenmare and County Kerry.

That's where my grandfather...

No, that's Kinselle.

Kenmare, just up from there.

I see it.

Below.

Yeah.

So that was a sleepy little town when I got there in 84.

It's gone.

It's now like a very

sought-after tourist destination, but it's got some beautiful old buildings.

It's just a beautiful little town and it's on the Kenmare River.

And so I got there and I rented, and I had this idea that I was going to write a novel.

So I rented this.

I rented this farm.

Like

there was a,

It was like a barn behind a farmhouse.

And there was no heat.

There was just peat, which is in Ireland.

That's what they do for heat.

It's basically like dirt.

It's like dirt bricks.

And you try to light it on fire, which is very hard to do.

And it gives off almost no heat at all.

And that's your heat for the house.

So I'm there in November, and it's pouring rain, and I'm trying to light these fucking peat

peat bricks.

And then I was going down into town, and there was a place called the Atlantic Pub.

I don't know if the Atlantic Pub is still there, but I would go down there, and there was a girl named Molly.

That's the one that's

that it's here.

Wait, put in Atlantic Pub Kenmare.

Oh, Kenmare, okay.

What are the odds it still exists?

Who knows?

This is a lot.

This is

oh, yeah, Kenmare.

Does this ring any memories?

This

that's it.

That is it.

Really?

Yep.

So she was a red.

She had dark, curly, thick red hair.

That's me.

There's the rogue game.

And she, oh my god, wow.

So I would sit at that bar every night

during the day I was writing this novel, and then I would go there at night and I'd flirt with Molly, who was the bartender.

Hot redhead.

Hot redhead with green eyes, sparkling green eyes.

And she would, you know, she'd, I'd buy a pint, she'd buy one back, and we'd hang out.

And then I'd sometimes make out with her.

Really?

And I'd always ask to walk her home.

And she would never let me walk her home.

And so I just, and I stayed there for like, I must have been there for a month.

And the farm was like a pretty good walk from town.

It was a couple miles from town.

And you'd walk down like, it was like a dirt road in the rain.

And I, and there was, but every night I'd come in, I'd get a bowl of soup at the bar.

They have like, you know, like beef stew.

Yeah, like that.

Yeah.

And then

I'd make out with her and then I'd be drunk and I'd go home and I'd try to light a fire.

And so after about a month, I finished the,

it wasn't a novel, but it was probably like 70 pages.

Really?

What was it?

Did you ever do anything with it?

It was called Evergreen.

No, here's the thing.

I was so in love with her that

I wrapped it in gift wrapping and I gave it to her.

And

I said, I want you to read this.

And it was dedicated to Maggie.

And I gave it to her.

And then I see her the next day and she goes, Twas fucking brilliant.

And the thing is, in Ireland, brilliant doesn't mean what it means here.

It just means like, like, your shirt is brilliant.

Okay.

Or that

pizza was brilliant.

And so, I, but I think it's brilliant.

And so I didn't have the heart to like ask for it back.

So I just, she just kept it as like a gift.

Fucking love 18.

I know.

What a dumb.

You're like, I can't.

Yeah.

Not even a hand job.

Just.

Oh, what a dumb fucking young age.

I know.

When I was a hundred years ago,

at 19, I went to get the heart

new tape from heart, the band.

Yeah, but I was like, Do you have the new heart record?

That's what they're called, like the album.

Yeah, and he just got me a record.

It was when it was split between records and tapes.

Yeah, but I didn't have a record player.

But I was like,

so I just bought a record, an unusable record, because I couldn't say, like, oh, no, no, I meant tape.

Right, right.

Maybe less.

You're trying to get your fucking novel back.

Yeah.

That's crazy.

Yeah, I know.

Just because you don't want it to be awkward.

Yeah.

But I also, yeah.

It's also like, I hadn't really felt love.

Like, I really felt like, and part of it was just, it was a pretty romantic time.

And when you're alone at that age,

you really feel things like so much like exponentially stronger.

So whatever I was feeling for her, I really felt.

Yeah.

God damn, yeah.

What a fucking time.

Plus, I mean, you must have been in sort of love before, but

it's never like that.

I don't think I ever felt anything like that before.

God damn.

Yeah.

And then I went back.

So this would have been in 84.

I went back there

with my girlfriend from college.

So that would have been in like...

Three years later?

Four years later?

Yeah, about four years later.

I went back and

we got to

that town and I was traveling with my girlfriend and I asked for

Molly and they said, oh, she's up north this weekend.

She's not around this week.

She was still bartending there.

And I said, well, what's she doing up north?

And they said, ah, she's getting married.

So she is.

And I was like a part of my heart.

Even though I was with this girl now, my heart just,

because I didn't want my current girlfriend to know how much I had riding on seeing Molly again.

Yeah, you couldn't let her know.

That's actually such a dick move to even go there.

Yeah.

You're with a woman on this romantic trip.

I know.

Let me just check out this chick I used to hook up with that I'll care about more than I'll ever be able to care about you.

That I put out an effort from the heart for her, like I will never do for you.

I wrote her a novel.

You wrote and gave her the only copy of a novel.

I mean, what a fucking gesture.

Shouldn't you print this up?

No, babe.

Yeah.

Wow.

I mean, this reminds me a lot of the season finale of season two of Sex in the City, where Carrie goes to meet Big at her engagement wedding, and the chick just has to sit there as she's waiting to talk to this older, cooler lady who's like, oh, your fucking ex?

The one I met, you just broken up with her.

She's a fucking sex columnist for the Times.

She's so cool.

And then she has to sit there in the car while you talk to her.

She touches your face anyway Wow

Is everything in life a metaphor from sex in the city night?

Dude, I'm loving watching this because anytime I'm around a woman I could I could just claim one of the episodes I watched the last couple days.

Yeah, and then be like how do you yes, I do remember that episode.

It's the dumbest fucking show.

Yeah, the writing is offensive.

It's all wordplay, right?

The ton of wordplay.

Yeah, and they don't have the fucking

where they don't just trust you as an audience member to like fill in the gaps.

Yeah.

It's like suddenly the fucking lesbian is is like, she's like, I'm a huge Yankee fan, just this episode.

Yeah.

And then they go, oh, this guy's the new Yankee.

I'm like, say his name or position.

What an odd thing to say.

Yeah.

The new Yankee's here.

Here he is.

Right.

The new Clipper.

And then, in case you don't get it, Carrie then does voiceover at the end of the show to make sure we can sum up what you just learned about.

It's all about playing ball.

Some of us catch and some of us pitch, but in the end, aren't we all just enjoying a day in the park?

And that's just like that.

Cut to you an hour from now watching it again.

That's such a fun to hate watch.

It's so dumb.

We went to see the movie.

Me and my friend Mike Dug and our wives both wanted to see the movie.

So on

Valentine's Day,

we took them to the premiere of, I don't know if it was a premiere, but it had just coming out.

It had just come out, the

Sex in the City movie.

And we went in and we sat down and we're like, all right, we're taking one for the team here.

And within 12 minutes, I leave and I'm just literally standing out front in the lobby and he comes out.

And I was like, you done?

He's like, yeah.

And we stood out there for like an hour and a half and waited for the waiting to be over.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's fucking great.

Yeah, it's just like, this is just time place for them.

Yeah.

Gilmore Girl, Sopranos, for fucking, if you weren't into it, the Italians get it on a different level.

Yeah, right.

Did you do anything else besides just bars or restaurants?

And just like hitchhiking around?

Did you go hiking or did you go like.

Yeah.

I went hiking and I went out.

There's these islands off the west coast.

If you go up the coast

called the Aron Islands, which is further up.

Did you see that movie,

the

Banshees of Inishirin?

You didn't like it.

I mean, just tell them you don't want to hang out.

You don't have to cut your fucking finger off.

But that's where, wait, if you go left at Galway, wait, go scroll down a little bit.

See Galway set in?

Yeah.

Yeah, off of there.

Keep going straight out to the left.

Those islands.

These?

Yeah, I think those are, yeah, those are them.

Those are the Aaron Islands.

Wow.

So that's Inishmore, where we went this summer.

I just took my whole family, my mom and my sister and her family.

So they have these cliffs out there?

Yeah, that's the cliffs of Moore, right?

No, wait.

But the Cliffs of Moore aren't on the island.

Oh, okay.

No, then that's one of the Aaron Islands.

It looks just like the Cliffs of Moor.

Yeah.

Damn.

This is all pirate shit right here.

Yeah.

It's staggering, isn't it?

Cliffs of Moore was like unbelievable.

Oh, you went?

I went after...

It wasn't after Edinburgh.

It was on a European tour, and then it was like, okay, do Ireland.

But I had a day off.

So I went to,

instead of flying to London from, from maybe Glasgow or something, I flew to.

Where is the Cliffs of Morkalway?

Just south of where you are.

County Clare, Ireland.

Okay, yeah, right here.

Cliffs of Mbevir.

Yeah, it's Dublin.

Yeah, and then I drove to Dublin.

And it's really not that long a drive.

No, it's not.

And I went and took side roads the whole way.

Oh, cool.

Every time Google Maps was like five minutes slower, you know, and you're like, oh, no way.

Yeah.

I was just like, okay.

Because I had like two days to get there and it was like a six to eight hour trip.

Nice.

It was so fucking cool.

Went to Boston.

Just discover these towns.

I get what you were saying.

And like, some of those like pubs are just like, this is queen as fuck.

Right.

Fucking thick pie, thick meat pie.

Listen to that fucking, that scene.

And there's no barrier of entry to conversation with anybody in the place.

You can just sit down and they'll just start talking.

Wow.

Not in an obnoxious like American like, hey, how you doing?

Just more like, about your soft night this way if it's a light rain they go soft night thank god

soft rain night yeah soft night thank god

so cool that's so cool it's so cool

you can't do that anymore with it with cell phones no they're just like i don't know i'll busy myself yeah that's so fucking cool though

they got a dog at their feet The grandkid is sitting back there.

He's 12.

He's got a Coke, you know.

It's like multi-generation sitting around and listening to the same music with the fire going.

And,

you know, it's a soft night.

When I was in Australia, my Airbnb was like, you know, the recommendations book of stuff.

And they go, like, here's a cool bar.

Good, the best two coffee shops are here.

And then if you're, if you're up for it, the local is like a block and a half from here.

Uh-huh.

I just meant like the local bar where you can eat and drink.

Yeah.

But they have good food.

And it's just like, oh, you guys go here like four times a week.

Yeah.

that sounds like those places.

Yeah, well, I mean, that's the kind of thing that was nice about that movie, even though you didn't like it, was that you know, that's that's your life.

That fucking pub is your life,

which is nice if you can leave it.

I mean, I guess it becomes a living hell if you live on an island and those are the only 12 people you ever see.

God, that must suck.

I'm, I, I, I'm, I maybe go like, well, you don't even know what's possible.

Yeah, that the life could be better every singlewhere else.

Right.

If you grew up in like Manhattan and then moved there, it'd just be like,

eat lead.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But it is stunning, these cliffs.

You went there during this trip?

Yeah, we went to the cliffs of Moore.

But anyway, on that trip, I went out to the Aaron Islands and I spent a couple nights.

And.

What did you get into there?

Nothing.

Just a lot of hiking.

You did?

Yeah.

It's a cheap thing to do.

Inishmore, yeah.

Did you go from spot to like island to island?

No, I just went to Inishmore.

Okay.

And

bought a sweater.

That's where you buy the famous Irish knit sweaters.

That's where they, they, that was where they made them all back then.

Oh, yeah.

They're called

Aaron Island sweaters or what do you call Aaron sweaters?

Just wool.

Yeah.

But it's a wool that you can smell the goat on it because they leave they leave the the the uh the wool oil on it.

It's called lanolin, I think.

Yeah.

And it's got this special smell, and it actually

wicks the water off.

So you can wear it in the rain and you don't get wet.

Oh, wow.

Because it's like a fucking sheep.

Wow.

It's like wearing a sheep.

Damn, that sounds awesome.

Yeah.

So you got one there, just take it around with you so you don't fucking get it.

Yeah, I got that.

Wore that non-stop.

Gotcha.

And then, I don't know.

You got a boat?

Yeah, you take the boat out from Galway.

How much were the boats back then?

Not a lot.

Restrictive or not really?

It wasn't a lot.

It was probably a couple bucks.

Wow.

And then I went up to, I hitchhiked up to Belfast.

And I was starting to tell you, it's during the Troubles.

So the Troubles started like in the late 60s and they went up until like the late 80s.

So was this, this was still the UK or had they split it up yet?

How was it?

Well, it's still the UK to this day.

So you see that.

Was Ireland then part of the UK?

Northern Ireland is part of the UK.

But back then it was the same as it is now?

It's the same now

as it's been for hundreds of years.

So the trouble was in this area where they're like, get the fuck out?

Yeah, the trouble is down in.

No,

the south is called the Republic of Ireland.

And then as you go up towards Derry and

Belfast,

that's That's where the troubles were.

And it was essentially like when the IRA started to,

it started off with basically like the civil rights movement in the states

caused the troubles to start in Northern Ireland.

They started to see that, you know, that uprisings could do something.

Oh, wow.

And so they started to protest,

and then the protest turned violent, and then they sent in the

British sent troops in and they started to really abuse the Irish and then it just got entrenched.

They fought back and then fought back and fought back.

So when you were there,

was it like no trash cans?

There was

armed, you know,

machine gun guys walking down the street with machine guns, the cops and the troops.

And they used to come onto the bus.

You'd be on a bus and the troops would get on with a machine gun and they'd walk up and down the aisles.

Every time you went in a store, they'd check your bags for bombs.

There's bombs going off all the time.

And then you'd take the bus.

I just sense like a lot of buses, but that's how I got around.

And if you took the bus through Belfast, there was an area called the Falls, which is where the Catholics were.

And when the bus went by, the kids would throw rocks at the side of the bus just all day, just fucking whipping rocks.

They would just take it?

That's Israel.

It's the same as Israel.

Just graffiti and rock throwing, and that went on for 40 years.

Wow.

That's the same as Israel.

There's places you would go on a bus where they'd have the bars on the windows because they're going to pelt us with.

Right.

And you're just like, I'm just getting in my fucking cousin's mom's house.

Yeah.

Well, the Irish, the

Republican-Irish, Irish Republican Army, helped train a lot.

You're not going to like this, but they trained the Palestinians.

What did they teach them?

How to rape?

Guerrilla warfare.

Oh, right.

So the rock throwing and all that shit.

That makes sense.

Came from Ireland.

Like, you know what your fucking,

like, real fucking resource down there is.

Yeah.

A lot of rubble.

Yep.

So use it.

Yep.

Blow shit up and then take the rocks that were caused by the car bombs and throw them at the other cars.

I follow this

Instagram account, but also just like, it's a website,

Popular Front.

He just covers underreported wars and like skirmishes and shit.

Oh, really?

Yeah, he won't take ads because he's like, I don't want anybody telling me which ones I should cover.

So he just does Patreon.

But there's always videos on there of people like taking a vacuum cleaner and like throwing it in a cop car when it's a full when the cops are like, we're not doing anything, we're just trying to get out of here right now.

And they know it and they're just like fucking pounding on the windows.

They know they'll get in no trouble.

Yeah.

Which countries?

It'd be like Belarus, but then it'll also be like Spain or France during like something more recently that you like barely hear about.

Right.

Or Palestine Israel or some protest in Berlin over Palestine and Israel.

Right.

Yeah, it's fun to watch.

And then you like walk outside and you're like, hmm, things are great here.

Yeah.

Yeah, fire.

There was one that was like this like tire fire in Paris as these people were like drinking wine and like looking at it like a half block away at a cafe.

And it was like fucking Paris, man.

They're nuts.

They got to have their wine.

Yeah.

Yeah, I guess it just becomes a part of life.

You know, you think about how tough Russians are.

Yeah.

You know, just your typical fucking brighton beach russian immigrant they're the they're the toughest fucking

yeah they're just life has no meaning for them

and they got here yeah from just a fucking tough country so they were the toughest ones because they got the fuck out yeah

yeah those are the ones that got here they didn't give up and fucking yeah right fall in line right

I heard about this one of the chicks from Pussy Riot when they got out of like Serbian prison.

Yeah, so one of them came to LA or whatever and was like, fuck that, you know, fuck Russia.

And the other one was like, no, I still like Russia.

Masha, something like that.

And she's like, so she stayed.

Uh-huh.

And then like

started trying to like lead protests and stuff.

Yeah.

They're like, are you nuts?

And they were about to arrest her again.

Then she had to like in the middle of the night take off.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

One of them is like really beautiful.

Yeah.

Maybe that's her.

Maybe it's her.

Pull it up.

Let's see.

Hottest pussy riot chicks in order.

You put up hottest pussy.

It already started searching.

It had 8 million hits already.

Images.

Let's see, pussy riot.

Her?

Yeah.

Naja.

Yeah, Nadja.

And she did like nude stuff.

Wow.

The rest of them, honestly, look like Portlandia.

Yes.

I mean, for real.

But Naja, look up Naja nude.

She did.

Yeah, they did like a movie.

Pussy Riot nude.

Is that.

Yes.

What?

Yep.

That's like full penna.

Yep.

What?

I don't think.

See the movie as an art piece?

Yeah.

Oh, right.

Because it's an art collective.

It's not a bad.

Right.

Wow.

I love when art just becomes porn.

This is fucking nuts.

How do you apply for the fucking clown?

What's on her belly button?

Is that feces?

No, I think it's caviar.

Oh, yeah.

Caviar makes more sense.

Damn.

Weird puss.

It is a little weird.

It's left of center.

Like the politics.

It's like center and it's like out and in.

I would love to see one like that be like one of those turfs.

Just be like, we need freedom.

We need everything.

But these fucking trans women are not real women.

They're a little different than us.

I love seeing the line.

There's this new game somebody taught me where you have to go around a party in LA or anywhere and just go, what makes you a bad liberal?

And you have to say one thing that makes you a bad liberal.

And some people will like half-ass it.

Yeah.

But some people are like, ah.

Yeah.

Or and it's like kind of a no judgment zone.

And then it opens up a bunch of people start going like, yeah, I don't think, whatever.

Like, I don't think Louis did anything wrong, or like, be like, seems like Gaza started it, just like little things, like, or like, as of like before, where it's like, I don't know, I feel like Joe Biden's not really with it, you know, just little things like you're not supposed to say that, yeah.

I mean, at the end of the night, it's like, I can't be in a pool with black people,

conservatives complain, too.

That'd be another way, yeah,

yeah.

What makes you a bad conservative?

I feel like some gun control is in order, right?

Like,

yeah,

I don't know.

Maybe

three weeks into a pregnancy is okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I just call them they if they want to be called they.

It's not that big a deal.

I mean, it's not even an extra syllable.

It's not even, yeah.

All right.

So hold on.

So back here.

So you took the bus into all up to Belfast.

Belfast.

Yeah.

I have a friend, Paul Curie.

He's an Irish comic, and he's a puppet, puppeteer, also.

Yeah.

He's wild.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah,

he's so good.

How did he learn puppetry?

He started as a puppeteer.

But he said this hour he did in Edinburgh was all about doing your own thing and not living in the shadows of everybody.

And he said Frank Oz went to Belfast because all the Muppets, whatever, Jim Henson Corporation, would go to war-torn places to try to like...

Because he goes from where there's war, there's art.

Wow.

So they would like seek out, because they're like artists, you know, Jim Henson and And so they would go there and like Belfast definitely like applied.

So he's all these people showing up, doing their fucking whatever.

And he goes, Frank House just watching them doing their puppets with each other.

He goes, you guys still got it.

We don't have it anymore in LA.

No, you guys are like doing the real shit.

Wow.

Yeah.

But he was like, it's fucking war torn.

You could feel it there, huh?

Oh, shit.

Yeah.

It was intense.

And it was very like,

there was a line.

There's a road.

I think it's Falls Road.

I'm not sure.

But like, if you're on one side of it, it's Catholic, the other side is Protestant, and there's barbed wire walls.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

What?

Yeah.

Where did you go?

Checkpoints.

I went to both sides.

I took the bus across.

Because you're Hindu?

Because I'm Hindu.

Because I'm a self-loathing Irishman.

What are you Catholic?

Oh, I don't really go to church much.

Honestly, I didn't even know it was that bad up there because I was just kind of going.

A barbed wire fence, like Berlin.

Yeah.

Wow.

You were just going to check it out.

Yeah.

Damn.

It was a...

What did you think when you got there?

I mean, it's beautiful.

It's definitely a beautiful part of the country, but I was really like shaken up.

Like, it was really...

I'd never been in a

militaristic area before.

Wow.

And now I kind of think of like just parts of this country that have gotten like that, you know, you really feel like wow, this is like funny, like scary like homeless areas, yeah, like Portland, Austin, yeah, Portland more,

right?

It's funny, they always Austin, Austin's bad, right, right near like downtown sucks, right?

It's funny, I hear like, I'm not in the news, but I hear talking points of like the liberal cities are falling apart.

And it's like, because, you know, we travel a lot and it's like, it's every city, just most cities are liberal.

Right.

but the conservative cities are also falling apart right anything over like 600 people has like 20 meth heads yeah yeah go to biloxi mississippi i'm sure things are not real rosy downtown that club in missouri springfield missouri yeah we parked we were doing a tour bus me and renozzisi and and uh o'neal and uh we parked there and some guy's like looking at us like you guys in a band we're like no no we're just whatever but we parked next to the club and this guy was like skateboarders they all started skate off he goes hey you shouldn't park here tonight he's like 16.

we're like what he goes it's not a good place.

And then it was like all the homeless people were just walking from like shelter to like, I don't know, where they get food stamps or whatever.

No,

they score.

And we just got out of there and went to the

bad sign when, like, the uh, the locals on the local like skateboarders are warning you about the real trouble.

Hey, man, you seem like a nice guy.

You don't want to be here.

It's like, it's like a fucking bad

Stephen King movie.

Right, right.

Damn, that's crazy.

Barbed wire fences and stuff.

Yeah.

Did you feel like in danger?

Oh, totally.

Wow.

Yeah.

Yeah, and I stayed in a youth hostel there.

Yeah.

And

I just remember there was like

there was like a shower

and it was co-ed.

It was the weirdest fucking thing.

Yeah, like I went in one day and I've got my stuff and I open up the door and I walk in and I see a naked woman and I go, oh, I'm sorry.

And I close the door and I walk back.

And then the woman comes out and she's like, no, no, no, you, you come.

And she was like Scandinavian.

And she invited me back in.

And like, there was like just, you know, men and women.

And I was like, this is so fucking random.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And they were just like, that's fine.

We don't care.

It's fine.

And you didn't get late in three months.

Nope.

Did you get late when you got back?

No, in the rest of Europe I did.

Oh, okay.

Okay, okay.

Denmark was the next stop.

Denmark was crazy.

Danish girls are the most equal women to men ratio of anywhere I've ever been.

That is right on the nose.

The women there are strong.

They know their sexuality.

Yeah.

Yeah, and they're just like, I buy a drink.

Like, I guess this can be year-round.

What do you mean?

They're not like, you got to buy me out.

Yeah.

And

I slept with this girl who was very attractive.

Nice.

And I was, thanks, man.

Because having dark hair actually means something up there because everybody's like blonde.

And

I had green eyes.

You can see my eyes.

Yeah.

Look bluish.

And so I wrote in my journal, I had sex with...

Latte was her name, short for Charlotte.

I had sex with Latte last night.

She's beautiful, but not that good in bed.

I write that in my journal and I'm staying at my friend's house and she was a friend of his.

And so I came back one day and she had read the journal.

I didn't know that at the time, but like we had sex again and I thought it was over.

I thought it was like a one and done.

She didn't seem like she was that into me at all.

And all of a sudden she was fucking me hard.

And I was like, what the fuck is going on?

She goes,

you not think I'm so so good in bed?

And I was like, no, now I do.

Now I think you're awesome.

You've really proved your point.

You really stepped up your game.

I'm glad you

look at your Yelp reviews.

Yeah, like, all right, listen, you're using the critique.

Wow.

Yeah.

Did you go to this lake?

What is this lake here?

Right off Belfast.

What country is it?

Oh.

Where's Belfest?

Oh, is that a lock?

Belfast.

Yeah, it's a lock.

Yeah.

They call the lakes locks up there.

I'm sure there's

a lot of bodies buried in that lock.

Yeah, probably right.

So there was, were there, is it one of those where the trash cans were all gone?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wow.

Like random, like almost like a movie set, like fires and stray dogs.

And damn, you know.

What did your parents say when you got back?

Did they have questions about it?

Have they been there?

No, they got married there.

My parents got married in Ireland.

Oh.

And

yeah, both their parents were from Ireland.

And did you go from Belfast to just leave Ireland?

Was that like your last day?

Belfast, I went back to

back to London.

Okay.

And then from London to...

But then you left Ireland after that.

Yeah, then I went to Amsterdam.

Did you make any friends in Ireland?

Oh, yeah.

Tio is still a good friend to this day.

And he stayed around with you that whole time for the rest of it?

I've been over there.

I've hung out with some of them.

You're still friends with him.

Yeah.

Wow.

Yeah.

That's so cool.

We were trying to hook up last summer when we were in town and he was planning on driving up.

He's got kids now and then he had to cancel at the last minute.

But yeah, we keep in touch.

Wow.

Yeah.

So fucking cool.

Yeah.

Fucking 35, 40 years later.

I know.

What?

Total soulmate.

And then he came over.

And then I went back, I don't know, probably 20 years ago.

Yeah.

My wife was pregnant pregnant with my son on one of our trips.

And

we hung out with my friend Lisa.

And

she's an American woman who I'll tell you her name off the air, but she's like, she worked for Comedy Central, and I was good friends with her.

And so she happened to be in Ireland at the same time as us.

So we went out to dinner, and it was Tio,

and me, and my mother, and

my wife, and and I guess the rest of my family and then Lisa and Tio met and they just clicked and they start flirting and then they start talking on the phone.

And I'm living in LA and all of a sudden, like a couple months later, Tio's like, calls me up.

He's like, hey, boy, I'm coming out to Los Angeles.

I'm like, for what?

He's like, just to see you.

I was like, what the fuck are you talking about?

And so he flies into the airport.

I pick him up.

I drop him at Lisa's house and he spends the entire week with Lisa.

And then she goes over and stays with him, and then they were like falling in love.

I think they were going to get married.

And then it broke off because

basically

he had family in New York, and she came to visit him in New York and

saw how Irish men treat their women.

And like, Everybody finished eating and the men all sat there and smoked and the women all got up and they cleared the dishes and they did the dishes.

And then the men sat and they watched sports.

And she was like, I just couldn't see myself as one of those women in that kitchen.

And it kind of was over.

She was like, I'm out.

Yeah.

Wow.

Wow.

I mean, smart.

Yeah.

Get out before it's too late.

Don't marry an Irishman.

That's the moral of that story.

Oh.

Dude, this rules.

Were you able, when you got back after this whole long trip, nobody ever talks about these, but so you're gone for three months through Europe?

No, six months.

Six months.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, 3,000.

How was getting home?

Do you remember anymore?

I was homesick.

I was a teenager.

This was hard.

It was fucking work.

Like, the thing is,

people think traveling is a holiday, isn't that?

Resorts are holidays.

Traveling, like, again, no credit card, maps, no reservations, fucking changing money in different denominations and getting scared you're going to get jumped and meeting new people.

And, you know, I didn't have like social skills.

I was kind of figuring it out.

So when I got home, I was so, like, I was so homesick.

By the time I got home, I was just so happy to like see my buddies again.

Like, there was a girl that I was kind of dating, and all of a sudden, I'm like hooking up with her again, and it's steady, and my mom's fucking cooking me meals.

I'm sleeping till noon.

I got my old job back at TGI Fridays cooking.

Life was good.

Damn.

Yeah, there was no re-entry problems at all.

Oh, that's cool.

Damn.

Yeah, you must have missed your mom's cooking and stuff.

Yeah, yeah.

Did you get any fights the whole time?

I mean, the mixture of

anywhere.

Were you a big fighter guy at that point?

Did you have the Fitzsimmons rage?

I got in a fight when I went back with that girlfriend that I told you about.

We were staying in a youth hostel and this guy, we got drunk and then this guy started hitting on her and I got into a fist fight with this Irish guy and the lady and the lady that ran the youth hostel kicked us both out.

Kicked me and me and Cindy out and that guy out, which was awkward because we had just been fighting and now we're like out on the street.

Sure cub.

Yeah, yeah.

And I remember we had to go into town and we had to spend a lot of money on a hotel that night.

Yeah.

I'm trying to think if I fought during the rest of that trip.

I don't think so.

He was just nice to everybody you met.

Yeah.

There was a Moroccan guy that I got in a shoving match with because with the URL pass, you'd always try to sleep on a train.

Like we took an overnight train from Paris to,

I can't remember where we were going, but like, you know,

you get in one of the sleeping cars.

But it wasn't like a sleeping car.

They were like cars and they were like benches and you'd try to sleep on them.

And then this, this Moroccan, these Moroccan guys used to come in and they'd wait till you got to almost at the train station, and then they'd grab your bag and they'd jump off.

And so, this guy grabbed my bag, and I woke up and I grabbed my bag, and then we started fighting.

And then he jumped off the train at like you know, three in the morning and whatever town we were in.

Almost lost everything,

my whole pack.

Fuck, yeah, that would ruin your trip.

I know.

Had my fucking journals, and oh, that'd be the worst part pictures

when i was in when i went to asia and i was like always scared of like someone's gonna take my stuff just every once in a while i'd call myself i'm like you're fake poor you're not actually poor yeah you can just as long as you have your credit card

you can just buy new stuff all right you just no one will know and you'll just go back to like fake pouring but but what if you lost your passport and your credit card I don't know.

That's a good question.

Did you have a backup credit card anywhere on your person?

I i think i did but i think it was in my bag so i had one in my bag one in my wallet yeah but like if they just took everything

or if like a hostel burned or something yeah yeah what the fuck would i do i'd have like 20 bucks on me probably yeah and then like how the fuck do i

i'd have to find a phone somehow or an email

Do you get an email saying, I need money, send money.

I'm in Cambodia.

Please send money.

Like, no, no way.

Fuck up.

Nice try.

I'm like, no, no, it's real this time.

Just at least $100.

Don't go crazy.

I have an aunt who is like a big, big fucking Republican and a real nice lady, but she's talking about America.

She's like, it's the only place where you can show up with like, you know, 10 bucks in your pocket and turn into a millionaire.

And then I heard it.

It was the first time I heard that as an adult.

And I'm like, you'll be dead in a week.

Yeah.

What are you talking about?

You have three hours to get a job.

And if you don't get a job that first day, okay, a slice of pizza is a dollar.

That's one day's meal and one slice of pizza.

Yeah.

You're fucked.

As soon as you get all dirt on you, you're not getting a job.

How is that going to work?

As opposed to like a village in Nicaragua where they would just kind of like, you'd become part of the community.

Hey, can I do any work for anybody?

I've got strong hands.

I'm willing to work.

Yeah.

Sure.

Here, Rake.

Here's a fucking pence.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like, what is this?

Yeah, it's so funny to like rehear the lies they told us.

Dave Smith said that about George Washington.

He was like, they told us when we were children that our first leader was literally incapable of lying.

Yeah.

He physically could not do it.

And we all just bought that.

I know.

Fucking 12-year-olds.

Shut up.

Right.

No way.

Yeah.

He could murder.

He sure could murder.

He murdered a lot of people.

With his gout tooth.

Um,

damn, this trip sounds sick.

Yeah, I'll send you some pictures if you have pictures on this.

Yeah, you have pictures, yeah, from then, yeah.

Oh, yeah, I'll put them all in okay, great.

Oh, that'd be sick.

I mean, nothing's gonna top the Rogan ad, but I'll send you some pictures.

Yeah,

it's so cognitive, it's not even like I tried it, it's not even like that.

It's trust me, guys, it's gonna work out for me.

Uh,

I like my chances.

Let's just say this.

I like my chances.

All right, this is what I ask everybody too.

This did make me want to do exactly this trip.

I remember Lewis Gomez told me if, like, these podcasts, I should say, if like it makes me want to do it, I want to do this exact trip.

Even though I did it from here to there, I do now want to go around and just like do all the things.

I did this at Great Ocean Road in Australia where I was just like driving.

I had these plans of like, I'll get to Apollo Bay the first night and I'll do this hike and this hike.

and then like halfway through i'm like oh i'm not gonna get to the hikes i'm definitely not getting to apollo bay like yeah and they're like fuck and then but now with google maps i'm like all right hotels within 30 minutes when the sun goes down like i guess i'll just stay here and it's all fine yeah when you have eight days to get somewhere it's like it's such a fucking freeing thing yeah

like anywhere is the right town but getting off the phone is it adds so much more to that because you know you could be anywhere and be on your phone yeah but to be someplace where you have to ask for directions, where you're forced to need, well, you know what brings people close?

When you need something from them.

I got to ask you.

I got to ask you.

And now.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Even if it's just, hey, which way's, which way's, you know, whatever?

Which way is Greenwich Village?

Which way is like, is Chinatown that way?

Like, then you have to interact.

Yeah.

And you have to help them.

When you're like, is Chinatown that way?

It was, I did this yesterday.

I'm like, yeah, yeah, just keep going down.

You'll, you'll hit it.

Feels good, doesn't it?

It does.

You're like, I want to help.

I got to help someone.

Because at first you're like, oh, I do know.

Hold on.

Yeah.

Three blocks.

Lady, you're almost there.

Yeah.

And you're like, I did it.

You're like a superhero.

Yeah, just ask people and then like, what are you doing here?

Must be like a cool.

It is fun when people are like, what the fuck are you doing here?

Yeah.

You're from New York City and you're in fucking Nowheresville.

You're in Macron.

You're in Macron.

How do you know about us?

You're like, I don't.

You're in this book, but.

yeah, but it was funny, too, because it was like a 1950s kind of like the guys are all going, who's the new guy in town?

And the girls are like,

he spins on his back.

Oh, yeah.

I'm sure you'd be like, we're a second away from getting jumped.

You ever get robbed almost that one time?

Nope, never like.

That's the only time I got robbed.

Oh, no.

Well, when we were in.

Greece, when we were in Athens,

Athens is, if you're going to get robbed in Europe, it's likely going to be in Athens.

And we stayed in this

youth hostel, and I remember we were out, and our bags were there, and we came back, and like half the youth hostel was empty.

Like, I think it must have been like an inside job.

Yeah.

And like half the knapsacks were just gone.

And ours were not.

Really?

Yeah.

Prime suspect.

Right.

My commuter here.

You're like, don't you think we'd also steal our own?

Like, that's what you want us to believe.

Of course.

Yeah.

I got travelers' checks I can't cash because I don't have the passport.

Oh, the locks.

You have to put locks on your thing.

And you're like, but it'd be easy to find if you have a clipper just to get through this little cage.

Right.

You're just hoping they don't.

Yeah.

Two questions.

Yeah.

It's where else do you want to go?

And also, do if you have any travel tips in general.

Oh, okay.

In general, travel tips.

I'd like to go.

I was just saying to my,

we were, I was at dinner with my wife and her mother and

her boyfriend.

Sicily.

I've never been to Sicily.

I just read a really good book by an Irish author named Rob Doyle.

I can't remember what it's called, but

it's about he's a teacher in Sicily.

And I just think that Sicily would be, it's fucking huge, by the way.

Look at how big Sicily is.

Yeah,

it's like a quarter of Portugal.

Yeah.

It's pretty fucking big.

Look at all that.

It's about about the same as all that.

Yeah.

Down.

Definitely bigger than Israel.

It's a little bigger than Israel.

Yeah.

Wow.

I'd like to go.

What do you want to see there?

What do you want to do there?

What's calling?

I think I'd just like to, apparently, there's like

beautiful churches.

There's like amazing tile work.

Like a lot of the immigrants that came to New York back in,

you know, the

early part of the 20th century were master tile workers from Italy, and they were mostly from Sicily.

Really?

And that's why you see so many of the

trades, the unions in

New York was a lot of Italians because they knew how to do tile work.

Really?

So they came over with that no it.

Yeah.

I love seeing how like just the quickness of like how a culture like gets together.

And the Irish became cops because they could fucking beat people up.

We had the same stress as, yeah, exactly.

You guys are good at fucking, oh, give me a club.

Give me a club and no rules.

Yeah.

Just waving that stick around.

Yeah.

Acting like a big man.

Right.

I got a problem with authority.

I get to be authority.

Yeah.

I'd like that.

Oh, that's right by Malta.

I almost went here for COVID.

No shit.

We went to Ecuador, but

we narrowed it down to cities that were good on COVID.

So like Brazil was out.

I mean, countries, Brazil was out.

who wouldn't quarantine our dogs and then who would take Americans, which was a very low list of who

I didn't realize.

Yeah, we had one of the least valuable passports during that time, but um,

and then, yeah, we didn't have to quarantine our dog, and Malta, and then there was like Prague, but I'm like, I'm not going there in the winter, but Malta was definitely the small island in Malta.

Wow, that looks amazing!

Yeah, it would have been like fucking cool, maybe here, or I thought there's two islands.

Am I wrong?

Oh, yeah, here it is.

Oh yeah, there you go.

Yeah, and going up there.

But then we were like, we got to take a fucking shuttle to a flight if we want to get home.

My friend was just like, I want to go to Indonesia.

And he's like, really?

He's like, you know, because I always wanted to have like sex, try having sex with like a ladyboy, I guess they call him over there.

And I was like, yeah, but you, you don't really need to fly across the world.

Like, I'm pretty sure there's like websites where you could find one in like 20 minutes.

Yeah.

It's like, I don't know, you kind of, I don't, I feel like I wouldn't feel guilty about doing it there because it's such a part of the culture.

Have you been to Thailand?

Thailand, yeah.

Is it part of the culture there?

Yeah.

It is.

They're not looked that weird.

And

they are fucking vultures.

They are like, what's that small dinosaur in Jurassic Park?

They got you with, it's just one, but it's like, oh, cute, but it's like, there's 50 of them.

Oh.

If you start trouble with a ladyboy, they all attack.

Really?

Yeah.

They all attack and they are fucking vicious.

So it's like, you think like, oh, I'll just beat up some like light-looking man.

And it's like, no, bro, don't.

Wow.

Yeah, it's part of it.

No one looks down on them.

They're not like derided.

People will correct you.

They're like, it's trans, not ladyboy.

I'm like, no,

they go by ladyboy.

So I'm going to respect that.

Were you tempted to?

Yeah, I tried.

You did try.

Yeah, I did try.

How did it go?

I couldn't go through with it.

But I found like a hot one.

How far along did it get?

I got to the door.

Oh, you didn't.

Oh, you couldn't even go in and

I choose you.

Let's go.

Yeah.

And then as we got to this, it was just like my body froze up.

But like, there was no,

it was a hot woman.

It was not just like a passes for a woman.

I mean, like an attractive woman.

Yeah.

Like, how did you picture it would go down if it were if you were to

I guess it'd be like I'd probably butt fuck.

Definitely a blowjob.

You would get one or you would give one?

Get one.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, I picture like fucking them.

Yeah.

No, not like milking their little fucking shriveled nub.

Today's trans.

They fucking keep their hog, but it knows they take estrogen and shrivel up their nub.

From what I've heard.

I don't know.

I did get a lot of hookers out there, but the one lady boy.

No, one.

I got one hooker out there.

But I just couldn't go through with it.

Yeah,

it was real, it was distressing for me.

But it wasn't anything to do with her, no, it was all to do with you.

Homophobia, she seemed comfortable with it, she didn't feel exploited or anything.

No, she's working for a living, yeah, yeah.

Like, no, no, nothing like that.

Not like, uh, what do they call them?

Uh, fetishized, yeah, like, I guess, who cares?

It's part of it.

Um,

yeah, it was just my fucking,

yeah, by bigotry.

so do you have regrets?

Do you wish you had gone through yeah I wish I would have it's a it's a hot woman mm-hmm

And I believe in like trans.

I don't think it's like a made-up thing.

So it's like what's stopping me from hooking up with a hot woman?

Mm-hmm

It should be nothing.

Yeah

the dick sure but like like but like it shouldn't be a problem if that's a woman's dick.

Did you pay her anyway?

I don't remember.

If I had to guess by looking at my life, I'd be like, no way.

Yeah.

Except this other lady.

Yeah, If she was like, no, no, no, you got to pay.

That's like, oh, no, of course I was going to pay.

What are you talking about?

I was just going out here to use my wallet.

All right.

What about travel tips?

Travel tips.

Yeah.

Could be as broad or as specific as anything.

So like

travel light.

Somebody just told me, like, put mushrooms in granola mix.

Oh, that's good.

Yeah.

I would say

when you stay at a hotel i like to sleep late okay if you go in the closet you can always find a hanger that has you know the clips for your pants take one of those hangers you know how there's always that slit in the curtain yeah you clip at the top you do the two clips on the curtain and you seal it and you'll have blackout curtains while you're traveling without having to pack anything.

That's a great tip.

Yeah.

Especially for fucking jet lag where you're going to be awake till one.

Yep.

Sleep till one.

And then put it back in the closet.

You know, don't make the maid do it.

Lee, here's the other thing.

Tip your tip your

I are there male maids in hotels?

I've never seen one.

I've never seen one.

I've never seen one internationally.

Is that weird?

Internationally, I've never seen one.

Two jobs, a man.

We got to let the women in the military, right?

We got to let the women in the

where's the male maids?

Where's the male maids?

There's male men?

Yep.

There's no male maids?

That's right.

There's no male nursery school teachers.

That's for damn sure.

That's for damn sure.

Never seen one.

Done.

You're right.

Yeah.

There was when I was in high school, I remember a story that they fired a female construction worker because she was too hot and

everyone else stopped working.

They would just look at her all day and accidents were happening.

And he had had to fire her.

She was suing for firing for no cause.

And I remember they were like, it's an interesting case because

work was not getting done through no fault of her own, but because of her.

Yeah.

So, like, the guy had to fire her.

And then he's like, I can't, where nothing's happening while you're here.

Whatever I have to pay you out,

I will recoup.

I'll go under if I have to hire you.

It's not your guys are animals.

Yeah.

They're just like this and get hidden by a fucking, you know, one of those.

Those are good tips.

Tip your weights.

Tip your maids.

Tip your mate.

What do you leave them at the end?

I give them.

How much do you give them?

I give three bucks a day, which doesn't sound like a lot.

Everywhere there are.

Even in like shitty places, third world places.

Oh, especially there.

Especially there.

Three bucks a day when they're making three a day?

I mean, what's it to me?

True.

It's three bucks a day.

True.

So if I spend Thursday, Friday, Saturday in a hotel, I'll leave, I'll usually leave $10.

$3.33 a day?

Yeah.

Wait, how much do you leave?

Generally,

$0.

Actually, $0.

Experience.

Yeah.

I have clear change off the thing before.

No way.

If they are exceptional, meaning almost always, if I leave my weed out and they come in and one time in Montreal tidied it up, not only didn't take it, tidied it.

Yeah.

That's a tip.

Okay.

Keeping your fucking mouth.

Now, what about you're at a coffee shop?

Does a line of people watching.

Do you leave a tip for the person who is baristing me?

Yeah.

Always leave a dollar.

If you and I are there together, probably two.

Because you're looking over my shoulder.

Yeah.

Yeah.

If a woman is with me,

for sure, too.

I go straight to the 25%, not 15%.

If anyone's there looking.

But we're both in agreement that it's obviously that, but now we have to do this because of fucking peer pressure.

Yeah.

I went to...

What do you do?

You go higher when someone's watching.

Here's what I don't do.

No, I'm pretty consistent.

Here's what I don't do.

And I want to do a joke about this, but it's absolutely true.

I was at like a CVS or a Walgreens,

and they hit you with that shame thing where it was like, at the end,

she says it out loud.

Do you want to give a dollar to the Childhood Diabetes Foundation?

I go,

is this the company that has

candy?

Candy at child's eyes levels

as far as you can see?

I remember when CBS stopped selling cigarettes, and they was like, what?

And they're like, yeah, I mean, we're a pharmacy.

Yeah.

And people are like, how are you going to make a living?

They're like, I don't know, but we shouldn't be selling cigarettes.

And then I think they all stopped.

Wow.

Yeah.

That's a good joke.

Yeah, there's something there.

Yeah.

Once again, Greg Fitzsimmons, I'll put it in the beginning.

New special is out on YouTube right now.

I wanted to announce it, guys.

I'm very excited.

This is actually the first podcast.

podcast, even though I know this, we've pre-taped this.

This is the first podcast that I've been on.

We did this a day before.

Oh, we did?

Sure.

Okay.

No, I did.

Mark Norman's one just came out, and they were like, he said he was engaged.

He got married a year plus ago.

I started these so long ago while I was figuring it out.

They're like, what the fuck?

Kevin Ryan did one like, no, he has a nice car now.

He says he has a fucking Corolla.

No, he doesn't.

All right.

Well, the rest makes sense.

So what are we going to say?

This is the first first podcast I've come on in preparation for putting out this special.

And you gave me a lot of good advice,

which is going to help me a lot.

And I appreciate that.

Be Jewish is what I said.

Be Jewish.

Have a rich uncle.

Ride coattails.

What's it called again?

It's called You Know Me.

You know me.

Yeah.

Okay.

That's great.

Filmed at The Mothership.

The mothership in Austin, Texas.

And you didn't use a backdrop.

You didn't change a backdrop at all?

No, we brought in some lighting.

I think the backdrop is nice.

Yeah, you're the first one to it.

Yeah.

You're the first one to it.

So, so

Simpson also did one there, but he changed the whole thing.

Yeah, he changed it.

Yeah.

But it was like only one guy gets the shot at using that backdrop.

And it's you.

Congratulations.

Yeah, yeah.

I texted you because I was scrambling.

I was like trying to work shit out my special.

And I was like, hey, did you use the normal.

But then I saw like a video.

I'm like, fuck, fuck, yeah, he did.

Yeah.

It's over.

Because I was like, I can just do this quick.

I can just film it.

Yeah.

And I was like, nah, we need a whole fucking set design now.

So congratulations.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Yeah, I'm very proud of it.

I'm excited that it's coming out finally.

It's been,

as you, as you noticed, like, I tried to film this a while ago and it didn't, it didn't work out.

Good for you for dumping it.

So we dumped it and we started all over again.

Good for you.

That's what I'm proud of.

Yeah, no, I couldn't.

I'm just too proud.

I've worked on this material for for a long time.

And it's that joy.

It's like, part of me is like really proud that I have this stuff that I've worked on so much.

And then there's another part of me that's just like, I am ready to let go of that and move on to the next material.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Have you been writing new stuff?

Yeah.

That's nice.

Well, I got that whole chunk about diabetes and

Walgreens.

You ever get terrible advice?

Like, try Target.

It might work better.

And you're like, you're a fucking idiot.

Shut up.

Get the fuck out of here.

You're a fucking lawyer.

Yeah.

I did comedy for a couple months back in 87.

Yeah.

And so I know.

I was a stand-up New York's funniest lawyer in New York contest.

That one makes me the maddest over anything.

Someone who has done it.

Someone who's never done it.

I was like, I can see how you'd be too dumb to know.

Yeah.

Someone who did it and quit to tell a professional current comedian that you know more than them.

What's it called again?

You know me.

You know me.

On YouTube.

Greg Fitzsimmons.

YouTube slash Greg Fitzsimmons.

Yeah,

Greg Fitzimmons.

And then FitzDog.com is my website, I guess.

And FitzDog Radio is the podcast.

Sunday Papers is the other podcast.

Hold on.

Boom.

There it is.

Yeah.

Look at that.

Let's ignore these.

What is it?

Okay.

This is what you'll be doing.

I think I just added some too.

Back at the Comedy Mothership.

Yeah, Back of the Comedy Mothership.

Okay.

North Pole.

This is what I'm most interested in.

North Pole Alehouse.

Come on.

Come on.

Oh, here it is.

North Pole Alehouse in North Pole, Alaska.

The Spur in Fairbanks.

There's not even a link.

Oh, my God.

I think my website person couldn't even find a link for the gig.

And the Alaska.

Well, you go to the Spur, go to the Spur.

Go to the Spur and then Bricktown and Tacoma.

Both great clubs, actually.

Okay, the Spur's on sale.

Wow, $25 tickets.

And Prince, $25.

They get $10,000 a year just to fucking live there.

Yeah.

So easy.

Bring 40 friends.

Are you going to the Fairbanks Ice Museum?

You got to.

That seems redundant, doesn't it?

The Ice Museum.

Here's like a circle ice.

This one's more of a square pattern.

Oh, and there's South Fairbanks in case it gets cold.

You can go down to South Fairbanks.

Yeah, congratulations.

But

as good as it gets, no, fuck, why do I have a block on this?

I mean, hopefully they're yelling at me now.

What's it called?

What?

What's your special?

Oh, my God.

Really?

It should be duly noted.

It's now 12.30 in the morning.

Yeah, fair.

It's called You Know Me.

You know me.

Yeah.

God damn.

If you are watching, there'll be a fucking box that pops up right now.

Just click on it and watch a special and tell everybody about it.

Leave a comment on it.

Yeah, a comment.

Here's something we should do.

We'll do this for every podcast.

You find out where they found out about it from.

So you leave a comment

which

shows you where that came from.

So it'd be like, Danish girls are the hottest.

Or what's her name?

Latte.

Latte.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Something about latte.

Uh-huh.

Or comment something about latte.

Right.

Or what else?

Could they do it?

Iced latte because it's Denmark.

Iced latte.

Yeah.

Okay, well, use your imagination, I think, guys.

Fitzman, you're one of the best comics in the fucking world.

So I'm excited to put another special.

I quote your stuff so much, so many times.

It's just comes up a natural conversation.

Anytime I see a Fiji bottle, like you own that idea in my head now.

Anytime I see...

When I piss on shitty water, I know it's shit on pissy water.

But it's like, I can't, I think of you so many times when I'm shitting, when I flush before I shit.

And it's like, you own that part of my brain.

Thanks, man.

Thanks for the kind words.

I appreciate it.

Yeah.

Everybody go watch now.

Greg Fitzsimmons, thank you very much, buddy.

Thanks, man.

All right.

Well, that is the episode, everybody.

Thank you, Greg Fitzsimmons.

Everybody, go right now to a special at Greg Fitzsimmons Comedy on YouTube.

You know me.

is the new special.

It's fucking amazing.

I've seen him run it.

It's fucking hilarious.

He is always hilarious.

If you're looking for, I know there's a fucking flood of specials on YouTube, Netflix, HBO, Hulu, and Amazon and everything.

And it's hard as a customer to know what you should be clicking on.

You're hard-earned time off and you don't want to click on something that might not be good.

This ain't that.

This is the highest level of stand-up.

He's Greg Fitzsimmons, man.

We all look up to him.

We all look up to him.

His joke writing is on par with anybody in history.

He's the best.

So go over there right now and have a fucking great time.

Grapefruit Simmons.

Fucking congratulations on your new podcast.

On your new special, excuse me.

So let's do this right now, everybody.

This episode has been produced by your Mom's House Network, edited by Alan Caffey expertly.

Thank you.

I'm going to do a Ubi Trippin' Patreon.

If you want to help me subscribe to patreon.com slash you be tripping.

Three times a month, I put out a new episode.

A lot of them are with these postcards that you guys are sending from around

the globe.

I'm loving them.

Send all these postcards to Ub Trippin' 151 First Avenue, number 49, New York, New York, 10003.

It's only for postcards and very thin letters.

I am getting postcards.

I'm filling up the fucking back wall of the Patreon.

Something just fall?

No.

Patreon studio

where I cut these.

I go into different details about places.

It's fun, it's fun, you should come along.

And I'm using that money to send someone,

one lucky person, not necessarily a Patreon person, but just somebody

around the world.

I want to send them on a one-year trip to see the world on our dime, on the Patreon, Ubi Tripp and Patreon's dime.

The old Patreon, the RSV1, is dead.

All right, so here we go.

This is from the Jose Muril Velasco Museo Nacional del Arte.

Jose María Velasco, Estado de México, 1840.

Ciudad de México, 1912.

Cathedral de Oaxaca, 1887.

Oh, he might be a

might be a

an architect.

So here's the picture.

Put it in post.

Thank you, Alan.

Wow, where the fuck is that?

I've never seen that.

Look at the mountains behind you.

You think that's Mexico City?

I heard Mexico City is in a valley.

I've been there twice.

It is pretty great.

Let's read it.

Ari.

As I write this i am in

panama okay waiting for my visa to go to venezuela whoa cool

legit traveler

also when you're writing these put the put the fucking insert in um

my advice

put the stamp on first and then write them because the some of these stamps some of these countries are fucking massive this one he sent when he got home clearly usa forever um

but some of these dams take up a massive amount of space and then you like run out of space i get it it's a postcard it's not much space i get it i send postcards to my mom and stuff i send them they're fun you run out of you it's not the the cool part and the bad part are is it's not much space so you run out you run out of thing but also you're not obligated by much joey diaz when he calls me i take his calls people don't call a lot anymore Joey Diaz calls you take his calls because it's going to be under two minutes.

What's up, cocksucker?

Just checking in.

How you doing?

Why are you ignoring me?

I called you yesterday.

Two-minute conversation done.

If you're in the middle of something, like, hold on, Joey, this will be done soon.

It won't be a long sometimes.

When I walk home from the satellite night, I'll call Matt Edgar, David Taylor,

Tony, any number of people,

just to shoot the shit.

I was like, got a 30-minute walk home.

I'll talk to you while I'll do it, and then I'll walk around and around, talk an hour, just to talk.

Joey Diaz, it's in and out.

Take his call.

Joey Diaz is the postcard of phone calls.

as I write this I'm in Panama waiting for my visa to go to Venezuela

damn that's fun it's fun it's a fun part of travel to wait for your visa somewhere so I was in okay East Timor there's a there's a there's a island nearby let's see if I can find it

I took a ferry look at this ferry ride okay opening maps Look at this fucking ferry ride I took.

I'll have a bit about this.

I try to write a short story about it, but it was so long.

It was the worst ferry I've ever taken.

I started in

East Java.

No, where's Bali?

So I started there in Bali.

I was done, hooked up with some chick from UCLA.

Very hot, very fun week.

And then I was going to Lombok.

So I went from Bali to Lombok,

which is the island next to it.

Lombok's where surfing is and stuff like that.

I mean, so is Bali, but it's a way more quiet island.

It's really cool.

And I went to Kuta Lambach.

Kuta Bali, avoid that at all costs.

Fucking way overrun.

Kuta Lambach is just cool.

I learned to surf there.

Good memories there.

There was a tree that fell down, blocked the road on the way back from surf lessons.

The guy who's giving me surf instruction, his cousin, or whatever,

was selling weed.

It was the worst weed I've ever, even for Australia.

Nah, Australian weed is worse.

But

he was like, check this out.

And then it was just this brown.

I'm like, bro, are you.

I grew up in smoking in California, in LA.

This is crazy that you're showing me something you're bragging about.

You have...

That's garbage.

I did smoke on a hilltop with a bunch of people from Seattle.

We had a great time.

Anyway, so I was taking the ferry, right?

So I'm in Kuta down here.

I asked the guy, like, how do I get to, how do I get to

where the

I wanted to go see the

Komodo dragons?

Where's Komodo?

So we're going to be here.

Yep.

And I was like, how do I get there?

He goes, you should fly.

You should fly to Flores, which is here.

Flores.

East Neas.

Yeah.

Yeah, this whole thing is Flores.

Okay.

Maybe it's a region or something.

Indonesia is an island country, and they celebrate their islands the way America used to celebrate their colonies.

He goes, you should fly.

And I was living like a backpacker, and I'm like, what's the other option?

He goes, you can take a ferry.

And I was like, okay.

He goes, the flight's about an hour and a half.

The ferry's like...

four hours.

And I was like, I'll take the ferry.

That sounds so cool.

Nah, you want to take the flight.

And I'm like, I get it.

You think I'm a fucking American traveler?

I know.

I'm living the hostile life.

I can do a ferry.

I want to take it.

All right.

We went on a trip.

He took me, charged me double, what he's agreed on, and he made me pay for gas around here to the ferry, missed one ferry, had to wait 13 hours for the next ferry, just at the dock.

Then we got a ferry.

We got on a bus, and I'm like, how do we get on a bus?

I got to do a longer version of this.

We got on a bus that drove on to the ferry.

The ferry drove us to here.

To, oh, I'm sorry, we were on Lombok, to West Noosa, Togura.

Got off the bus.

I'm like, oh, are we there?

They're like, no, we're in West Noosa.

What?

As soon as we get on the bus, by the way, I want to sleep.

And they're like, no, no, get off, get off.

You can't.

Then we drove all the way through Sambawa, all these places.

Right, right, right, right, right.

And this took fucking 14 hours.

And then I'm in the end of Sambawa, which is right here.

Where's the ferry from?

Couldn't it be from here?

I thought it was from over here on this right side.

I might be wrong, though.

And then that, we had to get another ferry, which I thought it was all inclusive.

It was not all inclusive.

Finally, they just said, fuck it, I'll get a hotel room, negotiate with the guy.

It's like, I just want to sleep for four hours.

He goes, here's how much a hotel room costs.

I go, no, no.

I just want it for four hours.

He goes, no, the price is the price.

I'm like, bro, I'm I'm not using it for 24.

I'm using it for four.

He gave me half price.

Took a ferry all the way to Flores.

And that took fucking 15 hours.

Met some cool people out there.

They were talking about

like chartering a boat.

And everybody there signed up.

A Belgian guy, an Italian guy, an Italian woman who's one of the best travelers I've ever met in my life.

This German scuba diver guy and his chick, not his chick, but some friend he had.

he also had a

apps for

the constellations.

And we're on a boat, middle of the night.

He just explored, he was just like, I went to the top.

This guy was a real fucking explorer.

I'm sleeping in my bag because I don't want it to get stolen.

Everyone's out in the decks.

I mean, it's dingy, bro.

He goes, a top top.

No one's up there because the other people are just there transporting goods and stuff.

We're there for travel.

Pitch black up there.

See all the stars.

I was like, well, I didn't want to impose and be a third wheel.

Oh no, this is just my friend.

We're not doing shit.

Sexually.

But

he was like, the moon's going to rise in two hours.

Moon doesn't rise at the same time every day.

And we like waited on it, waited on it.

We see all these beautiful stars.

And then just a straight horizon.

And then he goes, it's happening.

It's 10 minutes, you know, counted down.

And then finally, it's got a little, like, like a little like ball of like reflected light and then the moon just appeared at the level of the water and slowly rose up I've never seen a moon rise before that I think I might have seen one since then

it was god damn man it was fucking great

but we did charter that boat went to Rincha went to Komodo Island I touched the tail of a Komodo dragon thought it was the coolest thing ever got a stern talking to from the

of the guy because are you nuts I'm like well you'd hear all that you must touch him I've never touched one that's crazy if they can turn around snap bites you your arm's gone.

I'm in Panama for my visa to go to Venezuela.

However, this card is from Munal in CDMX.

Oh, Museum Nacional de Arte.

Munal.

Oh, maybe not.

Maybe it's that.

Maybe not.

Just wrapped up my sixth trip to Mexico.

Oaxaca is my favorite spot.

Been to Oaxaca.

Been to Oaxaca.

Let's see.

Have I?

Oaxaca, Mexico.

By the way, you can...

This is the kind of fucking shit I put on my Patreon.

So sign up, patreon.com slash you be trippin.

Oaxaca.

Nope.

I 100% have not been to Oaxaca.

I gotta go.

I've heard it's great.

I've heard it's great.

I heard they got that

the city of Oaxaca has long been considered Mexico's culinary capital.

The most notable aspect of Oaxaca can cuisine is a variety of mole.

That's what it is.

Mole, which is a type of complex sauce.

Be honest with you,

I don't like it.

Not a mole fan.

I've gotten it plenty of times.

Oaxaca has the greatest variety, including Negro, black, colorado, red, coloradito, faint red.

Oh, I haven't had any of these.

Maybe I gotta revisit my picture.

I've only had the black.

I've only had the negro.

Man, negro is a fun word to say when you're talking about mole.

It's negro.

It feels wrong.

It feels wrong.

I do love a negro.

Never had a Colorado.

Red Cochillo and Verde, which is a green.

Amaridro, yellow.

Oh, this is a fun one.

Mancha Manteles.

Literally translated to stainer of tablecloths.

They're sold in markets all of a sudden.

I mean, I got to get here now.

I gotta get here.

Bars of chocolate, mixed for hot chocolate, traditional breads.

Chapulinas is fried grass, hoppers of chili.

Oh, that originates at Oaxaca.

Okay.

Tlayudas, which are large, slightly crisp corn tortillas piled high with ingredients such as grilled beef called

tesajo, cheese, tomatoes, avocados, onions.

I've had that in Mexico City, and they're fucking great.

Guanabanas from there, horchadas from there.

Okay,

however, this card is for Munal in CNUX.

It's in the painting is of Oaxaca.

Just wrap up

my sixth trip to Mexico.

Oaxaca is my favorite spot.

That might be deja vu for you because I already read it, I realize now.

Hopefully, you get another card from Salto Angel.

Google it in Visi LA soon.

Okay, well, I will.

Let's do it.

Whoa,

Angel Falls.

Wow.

Look at that mist coming up.

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

You think that guy's still there?

That fucking fake monk is still there?

Wow.

I mean, yeah, I gotta go.

In VZLA soon.

Venezuela.

Political violence of Venezuela making this trip is is making this trip tough.

That's a good fucking travel note.

Like I always recommended Ecuador, but then at some point, Ecuador is like, can't go there anymore, man.

I got to wrap this up soon.

In Visiozo, political violence in Venezuela making this trip tough, but Canaima National Park seems worth

in

something also.

In Mexico, I did also go on the hike to La Gloria Waterfall.

It's gorgeous.

Your pal, Dolan well Dolan thank you very much sorry you didn't make it into the Patreon but you made it onto the regular episode of you be trippin'

and now comes the time where I continue to build this fucking wall of your

I love these you guys I love getting fucking postcards from around the world and seeing where you guys are going I fucking get a kick out of it I got the idea because in Edinburgh at the fringe Louis Katz is there now for one more week go catch him go go over and watch his show

people would leave money from around the world in my bucket change from like the Czech Republics things like that it wasn't worth anything but man it was so cool I'm like oh these people have been places and that's well before I started this travel podcast called you'd be tripping you should subscribe right now also go to the page go to the Instagram page you'd be trippin' pod

subscribe on YouTube or wherever you're watching or listening Spotify whatever

And I thought it was so cool.

They've been places and I've asked people to fucking mail their postcards.

And please, you guys do too.

Also, you can mail me money.

I'm filling up the fucking regular studio all with money in the background from different places that the podcast has been.

I need a lot of different countries that we've been to,

a lot of EUs for sure.

But

I need some Thai money if anybody has some, some fucking Laotian to anybody.

But if you want to send me a fucking small bill, don't make it worth anything.

And I want to help decorate the wall with that.

So, this is now going up.

Thank you,

Dolan for this

Boom

That's been another exciting episode of you be tripping everybody next week Sean Patton comes on and tell me about Cuba.

It was a fucking great one.

It was a fucking great one.

September is going to be a blast on this show.

Gonna have some fucking great ones, some big people you've always wanted to know about.

Diaz is coming.

Fucking Shane Gillis is coming.

Hopefully Tim Dylan and Schultz comment.

We'll see who else.

Harlan just did one.

That's a fucking amazing.

It's got a we got a blast of things coming up.

I'm getting better and better at fucking interviewing people about this stuff.

I've always want to hear about it, but I'm getting better at fucking driving them and into a Google conversation.

The Sean Patton one is great.

You guys are going to fucking love that one.

And go watch.

You know me by Greg Fitzsimmons right now on YouTube.

Leave a comment.

Go back and watch.

If you only watch like two seconds, hit it so it'll say it'll remind you to go back to it.

That's it, everybody.

Until next week.

Let me say goodbye in Gaelic.

I should always look these up.

Goodbye in Ireland.

There's somebody who was a Sian Gof Slangofjal.

What?

Swan Sian Gofjal?

I'm saying it wrong.

Okay.

Bye, everybody.

Thank you.

Until next week, goodbye.