Wuxi, China w/ Simeon Goodson | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

You don't technically need this car.

You say that out loud to yourself.

You say, I have no space.

You say, Eh, I'm just looking.

Then you click.

Then you zoom in on photo number 87 and whisper, oh no.

Then you text a friend, the one who always enables you.

You say to yourself, this is the last one, knowing it is not.

You don't need this car.

But maybe, just maybe, this car needs you.

Bring a trailer.

It's never just a car.

Where you been and where you going?

This is Ari's Travel Show.

Yeah, we're going to talk about travel today.

It's you'll be tripping.

Yeah.

Hello, everybody.

Welcome to UB Tripping, the greatest podcast in the history of written word.

It is true.

Today, I have a comedian, a very funny man, who's a regular comedy seller.

I see him all the time there and the stand

Simeon Goodson.

Hello, hello, Ari.

Thank you for having me.

I really appreciate you having me.

Yeah, dude, I'm stoked to have you on.

Where are you taking us today?

I guess we're going to go to China.

We're going to mainland China.

We're going to mainland China.

Mainland China, East China.

I lived in Wuxi.

You lived in Wuxi.

For three years, from 2018 to 2021.

Where's Wuxi?

Wuxi is a 45-minute high-speed train trip from Shanghai.

Or

a three-hour drive.

Which one did you do?

We did the high-speed.

I did the high speed.

We did the high speed.

But when we had to like fly and stuff, we would have to take the three-hour drive because you have packed, you know, luggage and all that.

So you gotta take a cab.

So that's the only reason we know it was.

Why'd you live in Wuxi?

We lived in Wushi because my ex-wife was teaching.

So she got a teaching contract in Wushi.

Prior to that, we lived in Alain, which is in Abu Dhabi in the Middle East.

Oh, damn.

So she was teaching there.

She applied to get a job in China, and then she got that job.

So we moved from Abu Dhabi to Wuxi.

Dude, China is, I've been to a lot of places.

It more

represents the word foreign than any other fucking place.

Right.

They're very non-compliant.

You know, it was one thing that was interesting going to China.

I was before I went, cheers.

Yes, sir.

Do they have a cheers in China?

You're supposed to do?

No.

Oh, they have gunby.

What is that?

But gunbai is you clink and you finish the drink.

You don't just like.

Like a shot or?

No, well, anything.

So it's like a shot, like how we do a shot, like salul,

the whole thing.

They'll do that.

But with anything, if you ganbai, you got to finish it.

Everybody's, the whole table's finishing it.

But like, if it's a long drink, if it's like a long island iced tea, you got to fucking kill it.

That's the gunby.

But the thing is, I didn't know that going in.

So I thought it was the same thing as cheers.

So I would be like, gunby.

And people would be like, fuck yeah.

And they would do it and they would finish whole drinks.

Oh, shit.

And I was like, what are you guys doing?

I was like, what are you guys doing?

Like, oh, God.

You're the one who called the Ganbai.

They're like, no, you got to do it too.

I was like, what?

So that's how I learned what Ganbai was.

The difference between Ganbai and Cheers.

That's funny.

Because

they have a very heavy drinking culture.

Seems like you'd want to do it at the end of your drink.

Like right towards the end.

Like, gunby this last sip.

Right.

That's the idea.

Like,

you're leaving.

Everybody wants to get out.

Gumbai.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Get back in our cars and drive home.

What brought you out there?

Was it your chick's contract?

Right.

She was working.

We have kids.

We were married.

And we were just out there, you know, figuring it out.

We left America in 2015.

So it was like...

Because Obama was in office and you wanted out of the world.

You wanted out.

Right.

We were empowered.

We were black.

We were like, fuck that.

We can conquer the world.

Then while we were going, everything fell apart.

And we were like, all right.

Dude,

I got to Southeast Asia, like January, early January of like Trump.

People like, did you leave the country because of that?

I'm like, no, I had this planned.

Right, I was going to leave.

Well, we were considering coming back because Trump won

our last year in Abu Dhabi.

Yeah.

So it was kind of like if Hillary won, we would have come back to America.

But if Trump won, we were going to fucking just stay, you know, travel some more and see what else happens.

Yeah.

So Trump won, and we were like, all right, China, it is.

Let's go.

How did you get used to it out there?

Like, I have so many questions.

Who are your friends?

China, you never get used to.

I mean, I don't know.

Like, you get used to it, but it's a very, like...

It's a very hostage kind of get used to it situation.

You can get used to living in someone's basement if you're there long enough.

You know what I mean?

McDonald's every day.

Right.

Like, if somebody drops you food three times a day on a schedule, like you can can get used to it.

You can acclimate.

As humans, we will learn to deal with that.

But now that I've, like, since I've been back, I'm like, oh, yeah, I was traumatized.

Were you friends with acclaimers?

Did you make friends with locals at all?

Locals, well, the problem with making friends, quote unquote, with locals is like you kind of became like a set piece.

You know what I mean?

Like the people who are nice to you were genuinely nice to you.

They would like buy you food.

They'd give you advice, how to navigate, but you were also kind of like this trophy, like that they would bring around other Chinese people and be like, yo, this is my friend.

You know what I mean?

But they're really...

But there's an implication there.

They're like, this is, you know, this is my black friend from America.

That's how people treat celebrities here.

Right.

It was kind of like that.

So it's like, it's hard to complain about it.

I'm not complaining about it, but it was just like not something you want to deal with every day.

You know what I mean?

That means probably also, that means.

Tell me if I'm wrong, but like, that means like, I'm not actually your friend.

I'm not like going to be long-term friends with you.

I'm just like, I like having having you around.

Right.

But I mean, they were like, they knew, we all knew when you're in China, there's no subtext that you're going to be in China forever.

You know you're leaving.

They know you're leaving.

Government knows you're leaving.

You know what I mean?

There's no, when you see a foreigner in China and they stay there forever, that's surprising.

Yeah.

When you see a foreigner and they leave in three, four years, that's regular.

It's the contract system, right?

It's the contract system.

It's the visa system.

And it's just not comfortable to foreigners.

They don't accommodate.

Like Abu Dhabi, the Middle East is very accommodating to outside cultures.

You know what I mean?

Like, this is a place you can buy pork in Abu Dhabi.

Yeah.

They don't go there, and it's very expensive, but you can get it.

Like, China doesn't have like shit to make you comfortable.

Somebody said, you know, Sean Aber?

Remember him?

He's a Hong Kong comic, maybe not.

How much overlap was there?

When I was there, none because of COVID.

Oh, right.

He said, like, like relationships never get that serious because everybody knows it's usually a three-year contract sometimes five but like you're whatever period you want so you're like hey we got a year and a half right before one of us leaves so it's like it's it's fun but this isn't gonna be serious we can move in yeah like you can do all the super fun yeah you know what i mean you can like move in and split bills and all that but like tick but you know right you know a year and that was it was kind of i mean there was a very because i was also traveling while i was there so i was in china traveling to other cities in China doing shows and shit So I was like super duper temporary like right, you know what I mean?

Like I'm in your city tonight and I'm in China for could you were you there long enough we could tell a difference in vibe between the cities?

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

You can tell the difference right away Every city like well the main cities like the smaller cities have like a knockoff vibe of whatever the biggest nearest city is Yeah, but like the big cities have their own vibe because Suzhou, I remember them telling Turner was telling me you know Turner?

No.

You don't know Turner?

I don't know any of these people.

Damn.

I know Ian Banderhorse.

He helped run the Shanghai scene.

Turner?

Yeah.

No, I think he might have been cool.

But he's gone.

He's gone already.

Right, right.

What happened with me was I didn't really start performing.

I crashed a car in Abu Dhabi doing comedy.

And I went to jail for like a weekend in Dubai.

So I was kind of on this.

thing when I got to China where I was like, I'm going to focus on the family.

I'm going to, you know, I'm not going to pay attention to comedy.

I'm going to really like be like a family dude.

And then COVID hit and they couldn't fly in comics anymore.

So, you know, as a comic, I was still doing like open mics and shit.

Like once every three, four months, I would go out to Shanghai, do an open mic just to get that shit.

That shit out of the scene, though.

Right.

Right.

But that's, that was, I was just to get that shit out of my system.

Like, I'm just going to run a set, you know, every couple months just to fucking flush it out.

And then I'll go back to Shanghai, go back to be a family man.

Yeah.

And then COVID hit and they couldn't like bring people out anymore.

So the people I had met during like the open mic scene were like, yo, we got these spots all over China that they had set up for when people fly in.

You go here, you go here, you go here, you go here.

And all of these spots had the

infrastructure, but none of we couldn't get, they couldn't get comics anymore because no one could fly in.

So they were like, yo, it's like wide open.

You got to do these shows.

And I was like, oh, you know, I don't want to do these shows.

I'm, you know, I'm a family man now.

I was like a grizzled assassin.

And you're like, I'm not the movie.

No, I'm not flying.

I'm not traveling for this.

Right.

I was just like, I need to be here for my family.

I got kids.

I got to take care of my kids.

And then my wife and I broke up.

There?

In Wushi, yeah.

Damn.

So after that, I was just like, yo, like, are those shows still available?

Can I still do those shows?

And everybody was like, fuck yeah, we've been, yeah.

So then I started just like after we broke, like literally the day after we broke up, I started like booking shows again.

Cause I was like, the family shit didn't work out clearly.

You know what I mean?

I was trying trying so hard to be a family man, and it didn't work.

I did that when I broke up, you break up with a chick, and you're like, the next day, you fuck some chick that you're like, has been trying for a while.

Right, what?

Like, no, it's been ready, right?

It's over.

So, like, why are we waiting?

Right, no, yeah, you're right.

That's exactly what it was.

But it was like, it was more so because the girls were, you know,

the girls were hard to get at first because at that point, I was just, I was so just Chinese girls.

Well, I never, I never hooked up with a Chinese girl.

I was hooking up with foreign women who are being ignored by all the men because all the men wanted to be a woman.

Dude, that's the wildest thing.

You get a hot, like an eight, right?

You get a hot, a cute chick.

Super cute, but she's from like England.

Right.

And here in America or in Atlanta where she's from, she's she's looked at every day.

And now you're in a city of 20 million and 19.95 million of those people just ignore you.

They hate you.

They think you're ugly.

They think you're gross.

So these women are like, what the fuck?

They see you and they're like, wow, what a gross bitch.

And then I come around, I'm like, god damn,

okay.

And they're like,

but it's not even that because I'm fresh out of divorce, so I'm thirsty too.

So I'm like, god damn, you know, I want to be loved again.

So, yeah, it was just like, yeah.

So, after, so once I started touring, once I started hitting the road, there was just like pussy, it was very abundant.

Yeah.

But it was like you said, it was, it was under that understanding, like, we're in China.

This is not a permanent thing.

It's, it's pretend, right?

My friend from I don't know.

I felt like it was more real.

I felt like everyone was more real because it was temporary.

Like, we didn't have to accommodate the future.

No one in China was like, Well, what's going to happen in three years?

You know what I mean?

We're like, nigga, I'm leaving in a month.

Yeah, exactly.

That's what's going to happen.

So let's fuck, like, I'll eat your butt.

What up?

Let's go.

You know what I mean?

Like,

I don't care.

Right.

You can tell everybody because I'm leaving.

I don't care.

Career Bennett.

Yeah, exactly.

Exactly.

Well, she said it was like, like, it was like she didn't want to get back to real life.

She called like Canada, I guess, real life.

And it was like, oh, so this is like a pretend life?

Well, it's like a fantasy life.

It's like how you're so successful when you play The Sims.

You ever played The Sims?

You're like, I go to work every day.

I sleep every night.

I eat healthy.

You know what I mean?

Like, you play The Sims.

And that's what China's like.

Because you just got to like, you have to endure China, but you also, it's like when you play The Sims, like you need time for recreation.

So it's like you got to carve that out.

Yeah, hi, everybody.

I'm just breaking into today's episode to let you know that Simeon Goodson is a stand-up comedian, and he wants you to follow him.

Yeah, he's got a website, simeongoodson.com.

That's S-I-M-E-O-N goodson.com.

I'm not going to make a racist joke right there.

Uh, he also has a website, I mean, an Instagram account called The Simeon Goodson Show on Instagram.

He's got 303 followers.

Let's get him to a thousand.

Let's triple plus his fucking follower base.

The Simeon Goodson Show on Instagram.

At the Simeon Goodson Show.

Go follow him right now.

He's got a podcast.

He interviews fun people.

You know, you know what a fucking podcast is.

And I'd like to tell you that I have no dates coming up, but I am going to be celebrating Shroom Fest July 20th, 21st, or 22nd.

I haven't decided yet when I'm taking my mushrooms.

If you don't know what Shroom Fest is, it's an international, interplanetary, interuniversal holiday to celebrate the great gift that that God or the aliens gave us.

That is mushrooms.

That's right.

All you got to do to celebrate is find some boomers and swallow them.

Chew them up, make them into tea, do whatever you fucking do.

Boof them if you have to.

I've never boofed mushrooms, but I got to assume they'll hit extra hard that way.

If you don't know what boofing is, look it up.

Have you looked it up yet?

Spoiler alert, it's when you put shit up your ass.

You eat from the exit door.

That's right.

Yeah.

Anyway, try it.

Try boofing mushrooms this shroom fest, July 20th, 21st, or 22nd.

There's a Shroom Fest shirts.

You can get them on my website, ari shafir.com.

You can also get grinders.

You can also get the vinyl of my special Jew, the audio of Jew.

It is out right now.

I just saw them.

Signed the ones I had to sign.

The rest are all being shipped out to Phoenix, to Hello Merch to go out.

Oh, they look great.

Get a grinder.

Get a Shroom Fest shirt.

What else do I have?

I think that's it.

Oh, and the vinyl.

There's got to be some other merch in there.

Regardless, the fact is, we're having a great time doing this episode an interesting uh time in china find a dj what a fucking dude this podcast fucking juices me up it really does i get fucking juice let's get back to it hit subscribe wherever you're watching or listening right now do me a favor let's stop for 10 seconds right now i'm gonna do nothing for 10 seconds in fact i'm gonna let my hands leave the screen and i'm gonna slowly masturbate for 10 seconds and i'm gonna ask you while this is happening to hit subscribe

I've got jeans on,

so this hurts.

Five more seconds, hit subscribe.

Ah, Chafee.

Now let's get back to the episode.

So you can make, like, I was making good money in China being a DJ.

That's what you did?

That's what I did mostly.

For who?

Just for clubs and shit?

Like, for bars and whites or yellows?

Whatever.

Well, interestingly, I started out doing black shows.

So I was doing like hip-hop Afro beach shows.

So I was very, yeah, so it was a very niche, very, very niche

crowd that we were going for, right?

But our parties started getting packed because the few black people in Wuxi will call their black friends in Sujo, who will call their black friends in like other small towns, right?

So our shit started getting packed.

Like our shit was packed the fuck out.

And then

a chinese club well like like chinese people started filtering into our parties just because they were so packed because it was like authentic authentic well they were just well first they started filtering in because it was packed They were just like, what the fuck's going on in here?

Why there's so many people?

Number one, why there's so many black people.

This is crazy.

So they go in and the party's lit.

You know what I mean?

It's a party.

Like, it's a fun fucking party.

Like, so they're coming in.

Everybody's drunk they're like oh shit there's Chinese people you know how black people get

oh shit there's Chinese people here we hugging them up buying them shots you know what I mean they dying they're having a great time and it's maybe like four of them so then the next part it is eight of them next party is 12 of them right next party there's a promoter who owns a different club why the fuck are my people not coming to my club tonight

why are they coming here You know what I mean?

So by that point, they were just like, yo, can you come to our club?

Oh, really?

Yeah.

So by the time I left China, like we were like ramping up where they were like.

Can Chinese dance?

No, but they didn't want to dance.

They didn't want to dance.

They wanted to take photos.

That's like all

that social media stuff you see, like on TikTok and all that shit with Chinese people.

Like that's how they live.

Like they don't live in the moment.

So when we showed up to DJ, they had like photographers ready that we didn't know about.

They had like videographers.

They had models, they had bottles and shit, they had lights.

So they had the regular house DJ.

Then they were like, We got special guests all the way from America,

Brooklyn, stand up, Biggie Smalls.

Like they're doing that shit.

They're just saying references.

Right.

And they're just like, most deaf, Biggie Smalls, Brooklyn.

Norsey houses.

Right.

Jay-Z.

And they bring us up, right?

And the fucking, there's like,

not explosions, but like, you know,

like strobe lights and fucking cameras flashing.

We were like, what?

Like, we didn't know that shit was going to happen.

So we were like, what the fuck?

But we got to start spinning now.

And they were fucking just playing hip-hop.

Like, you know, 90s hip-hop, shit like that, regular shit.

And they're fucking dying.

They're fucking having mad fun.

And then, like, we played for like an hour and they were like, bring back on the regular Chinese DJ because he knew what they wanted to hear.

What kind of do they have hip-hop?

They had some hip-hop, but they have, they have, like, Chinese hip-hop.

They have like hip-hop hips.

I know there's a Hong Kong like rap crew or a couple.

No, there was a bunch.

They call it trap

in there.

It's called Trap.

So, which we have in America, there's trap music, which is like you would, as an American, you would think that's like T.I., you know, southern rap, you would classify as trap music.

But out there,

they call the scene, the hip-hop scene, they call it the trap scene.

And that's all-encompassing hip-hop scene in China.

So that's what they used to do.

So they used to like wear jerseys.

They used to wear dreads and shit.

They used to do shit to like make their hair look like Afro

texture.

Yeah.

A bunch of Dolezols?

They would, yeah.

Well, I mean, yeah, pretty much.

But it was, you know, it was crazy because it was like very expensive.

So like they weren't pretending to be black.

They were being Chinese

who could afford to look black.

Just dressing them.

Does that make sense?

Like, and it's very expensive to do so because you got to buy Jordans, you got to buy gold chains.

You know what I mean?

You got to get your hair done.

No, it's worth it costume.

I love it.

So it's like, they aspire.

These are kids whose parents own a toothpaste factory.

Like it makes toothpaste tubes

for all companies.

So like these kids have money.

Hip-hop over there is not like a poor people's game.

You know what I mean?

You're not going to see a peasant in a side village like, oh, I fuck with hip-hop.

Hip-hop in China is like a rich man's

scene.

Because it comes from the streets here.

Right.

And they're like, we're flying, we're importing Americans to DJR club.

That was the image they were trying to portray.

Like, we have contact with black people from Brooklyn.

You know what I mean?

Like, that's what they're selling.

That's why we were there because they didn't want to hear our music.

They didn't want to hear Biggie.

They wanted to be a little bit more.

They didn't want to hear it.

Yeah, they just wanted the photo op.

Dude, that's something that's very instructive about Chinese tourists, the worst tourists in the world, I'll say,

is they always get off their bus, take their pictures, and almost go back.

Like, they're just there to grab pictures from

the degree.

Yeah, exactly.

That's why they always stay in like Deep Jersey.

They get them on on a bus over here to the,

you know, the Empire State Building.

They're all together.

It's just one like hive mind.

And then, like, this is what we're doing.

This is what we're doing.

Here's something you just mentioned because the rich people.

I think there's a misconception about China and capitalism versus communism.

Okay.

What's the misconception?

Well, I think everyone thinks it's just straight communist.

You know, but like you, everything you earn, you put to the state, and then they pay you.

But it's not like that, is there?

There's rich people and there's poor people.

I think, well, I think what

happens in China, it's very capitalist on like the surface level.

Yeah.

But if you get too big, then communism steps in and they're like, nah, son.

You know what I mean?

They're like, you're getting too big.

You can make it 100, but then like anything over there would take you to the bottom.

Well, like, well, like Jack Ma, who is the owner of Taobao, he was like the richest man in the world at one point.

Yeah.

And then he's, he got, he was like so rich that he started, he was so comfortable, he got comfortable speaking out against the Chinese government or not speaking out against them, but just being like, oh, their direction is wrong or like they're not seeing the big picture.

He would say shit like that.

And then he tried to take Taobao public

and China shut it down.

And that same thing happened to a company called Didi, which was like the Uber of China.

So Didi was like, they took over because, you know, as foreigners, they had like an English Didi.

So we didn't even need to call cabs anymore.

We just had Didi.

So they got huge.

And by the time I left, they wanted to go public and China shut it down.

They want things to go public.

They don't want you to be bigger.

Once you go public, then Americans can invest.

Because their company is bigger than China.

Everyone says the Chinese are buying up all our businesses, but they won't allow that to happen the other way.

That's what they do, though.

That's exactly what they do.

They don't want,

you can't be bigger than China.

So Jack Ma, we haven't heard about him in years.

It's been at least, he used to be in the news on par with Jeff Bezos, on par with Steve Jobs, on par with Bill Gates.

And we haven't heard about him.

And be happy.

That's what they say.

They said Yao Ming was one of the only guys big enough to not disappear.

No, but Yao Ming doesn't do that.

Yao Ming never comes out and he's like, oh, NBA was better than China.

You know what I mean?

Like, Yao Ming is always like, CBA is the best shit.

I'm happy for my time in the NBA, but it has no comparisons.

He's like, there's no comparison to the NBA, to the CBA.

The CBA's number one,

all time, hands down.

I'm like, fuck yeah, Yao Ming.

Everybody's like, fuck yeah, Yao Mang.

I love that guy.

I tell you,

who cares if you're not?

But I mean, I think also he believes it.

Yeah.

Like, you know what I mean?

Because he's like the president.

And Steph Curry was out.

Steph Curry was one of the biggest celebrities in China.

Really?

Because he was like past his playing point.

He was like a head coach.

Steph Curry?

Steph Curry from Brooklyn, from Coney Island.

He was like the head coach of the Beijing team.

Not Steph Curry.

I'm sorry.

Steph Marlbury.

Steph Marbury.

Stephan Murberry.

Steph Marlbury.

I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry.

That's right, because I remember him going over there to play.

He went over there to play.

He played some of my shoes forever if I played two years there.

The Starburst?

Right.

But he didn't only.

I mean,

he's the equivalent.

What's the...

He's like,

what's right?

Stephon Marbury.

He's like a...

I don't want to say a Larry Bird.

He's kind of like a Larry Bird out there, like how we revere Larry Bird.

Like, he's great.

He's a good coach.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

He's like on that level.

They respect Steph Curry.

I mean, he's got the pedigree.

He was good.

He was an all-star a couple times and he won them you know rings whatever the equivalent over there wow uh was it expensive China

not right absolutely not China was

my issue with China was I wasn't working like I was doing shows and shit yeah but I wasn't doing shows it wasn't like here it was like a show at night you know give somebody you know right work out all the time like the shows were like significant so but no everything was significantly cheaper we had Taobao which was just like Amazon but it's like, you got to think, like, or like eBay, when you order shit from eBay, that's super cheap, but it's like, it'll be there in two months because it's coming from China.

You know what I mean?

Right.

In China, they'll be like, that shit is there tomorrow.

You know what I mean?

I love the Chinese versions of other places.

Like,

they have their own, WeChat, that Uber thing you said, that Amazon thing you said.

They're just like, we'll just do our own version.

And it's for a billion people.

That's how they operate, though.

And a lot of it is they allegedly steal the infrastructure from other companies and then just make make their own.

Yeah, that's, I mean, the copyright laws are like non-existent.

Well, it depends because like a lot of times like like they would take down like Disney stuff.

Like it would be hard to find Disney stuff once Disney started moving into the market.

You know what I mean?

Like you remember how they took

off the Star Wars poster for China?

Why?

Because he's black.

Because they wouldn't sell.

Because it wouldn't sell in China.

So like there was an alternate poster and this shit like that's the funny thing.

That's the funny thing about woke politics in Hollywood.

They're like, we need more of this.

And Hollywood needs to respond in some way.

Like, you're asking us to make less money.

Right.

You're telling us to make half our money.

Right.

That's their thing.

Have a black lady.

I'm like, so it just won't play for a billion people.

That's what you're telling us?

Okay, we'll do it.

But that's a billion people we're losing.

Right.

Anyway,

still go for it.

The interesting thing about the contract system is that you'll have a spouse sometimes who will not be there on the contract.

I was the spouse.

And they end up teaching English or just something to get just to feel occupied a lot.

Well, prior to COVID, I did get an offer to teach English in like a preschool.

I was at the gym and the lady who owned the preschool was at the gym.

It's like a huge private business, but they were trying to shut it down by the time I left.

Really?

Yeah.

Because the biggest issue at this point is that nobody wants to have kids.

Out there?

Yeah, because

everybody got used to the, you know, they had the one kid law, the one kid rule, which they then upped to the two-kid rule.

And by the time I left, you could have three kids.

Like legally, you could have three kids.

And

what was the

vibe, though?

You could legally have it, but would people do it?

Well, that's the issue because people got so accustomed to being only children or having one kid.

You know what I mean?

That nobody wanted, like, there was nothing they could do.

to incentivize having more than one kid because it's like yeah, it's already so expensive.

Take away the de-incentivization, I guess.

Right.

We're going to tax you every day.

But everybody had just, that's become everybody's life for like generations.

Yeah, that's cool.

Because if you, if you stop being like, hey, I got to tell my dad I'm only have one kid, it's going to be so embarrassing.

When that became the normal, my dad's like, yeah, I was an only child and my dad was only child.

We already did this for a while.

Then you're like, dad, I'm going to have three kids.

Like, I don't care.

Instead of like, how disappointing you only have one kid.

Right.

You know what I'm saying?

They got used to it.

Well, it's not even like...

It's not even like that.

It's like, why the fuck would I want to have three kids?

This shit is so expensive.

Right.

Do you know about the Little Prince syndrome?

What's that?

I heard about this.

That since they only had one kid, these kids got so fucking spoiled.

Right.

Because like a hundred years ago, you have five, six kids.

If you fuck up, you get beat hard.

Because they're like, you're not special.

You're going to fall in line.

And now it's like, he's our only one.

He's our fucking little prince.

And the kids were fucking awful because no one told them to shut the fuck up.

That's right.

See, you know what I'll say about this?

I'll say that child culture overseas is much better than child culture in America.

Because everyone in America hates kids at this point.

I do.

At this point, no one wants to have kids.

No one likes the idea of kids.

I don't.

There's no spaces for kids.

You can't even find kids' clothing anymore.

Good.

Which is really bad.

More school shootings.

Less school pieces.

That's really bad.

Like, it's bad.

And you know what?

It's like, it's realistic because there's no room for kids anymore.

So it's not like you're not wrong for not wanting to bring kids into this society.

It's just bad that there's no space for kids.

Like in China, there were places where I could just bring my son and it was just toys there.

And I would pay them like 10 bucks, the equivalent of 10 US dollars, and my kid could play with like, you know, like the big Hot Wheels shit that your mom would never buy you with a dinosaur on.

What places?

What places?

Just like in the mall.

In the mall, just regular places.

These places were scattered throughout the country where you could just take your kid.

There's a bouncy castle.

You know what I mean?

So it's like, it's not like here where it's like, oh, you want your kid to be entertained?

You got to give me $700.

And you're like, no, I don't, like, what about today?

Can I protect it?

Right.

So that's the thing.

It's, there's no infrastructure in America to accommodate children.

And that's not, that's why no one wants children.

But if you put that accommodation there, then people will want children again.

You know what I mean?

It's like, we, I, like I said, like, it would be the big shit.

Like, you know, the He-Man Grayskull Castle type shit.

It would be that type of of shit.

And my kid could just play with that.

And then we could go home.

And he's fine.

He's played with it.

He doesn't need it in the house.

He can forget about it tomorrow.

It was dope.

There was arcades.

It was shit.

There was in the Middle East.

In the Middle East, there was shit.

There was tons of shit.

We had babysitters for like

$8

a day.

You know what I mean?

Who would just like do everything?

They would clean the house.

They would watch the kids.

They would put the kids to sleep, bathe the kids.

It was amazing.

It was an hour for more than $8.

That's what I'm saying.

It's crazy.

And that's really the issue.

The issue in America is that there's no infrastructure for children and subsequently nobody wants children.

Yeah.

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Okay, I'm trying to think what to say.

Which kind of food do you eat?

Expat food or fucking local food?

In China.

In Wuxi, or well, and I cook, so we would go to the grocery and I would buy like the closest things I could see.

You know, I would get like, they didn't cut steaks like we do, but they would have beef.

So I'd get like some beef, some pork, some chicken.

Yeah.

But the chicken over there had like the head on it, the feet on it.

Yeah.

Everything.

But I forgot about that.

They just learned how to put up with the bones.

I was like, I didn't have to put stock

because I had the feet, I had the head, I had the guts and all that shit.

So I would just make chicken stock.

So I actually boil it all down.

You boil it all down with vegetables, seasonings, and then just reduce it.

Oh, damn.

You know, at a low temperature for a long time.

And then you use that in soups and sauces and shit like that.

So I was cooking a lot in China.

But when I was eating out, I would go to the street food vendors because we were always doing shows.

We were drunk, fucked up.

Love a street food, man.

We didn't come out until nightfall until the sun went down.

So you would go check into the hotel in the day.

Yeah.

It was a big empty plaza.

And you're like, what the fuck is this?

Yeah.

And then you go, you know, you get ready for the show.

You go perform.

You come back to the hotel.

Now it's a fucking bustling

market.

Do they have those little chairs?

Those little checkergen chairs.

They would have an ice tray with food on it, and you would pick up, literally pick up your food with your hands in the middle of the street.

They would put it on fire, season it.

Make some.

There was a fried rice guy.

There was a fucking noodle guy.

They just walk around cheap, though, right?

It was super cheap.

I remember like tossing something.

It was like skewers.

I don't know your language, but I'll point.

one of those right right

you know one of those and then eating one's like oh it's so good eating another so good another one

right right but like it was 40 cents so whatever the skewer is, I'm done with it.

I lost to 40 cents.

No big deal.

Give me the next skewer.

Right.

No, that's, that's how, that was my most, those are my most favorite food memories.

At one point, the place we used to go to by Smooth

used, they started getting

smooth was the club I used to play at the most.

They started getting fucking lamb like ribs.

Lamb is the best meal.

Like lamb shank.

Just like it would be like one lamb rib, but it would be on the ice.

So we would get there like three in the morning.

There's like only three left.

There's some shit, and there's six of us.

You know what I mean?

So it fucking hell.

Like, yo, I'm not.

It's my lamb.

Right.

Yo, but it was so, and then we would share, of course.

It was just, you know, and then we would get the bottle of Baijo.

That's like that 300%.

Is Baijo the one?

They said there's

an alcohol that is the most drunk alcohol in the world, but you can't find it in America.

You can find it.

Is it Baijo?

But it's Baijo.

I don't know if it's a diet.

Is that the drink of China?

That's what they drink.

Yeah.

Baijo.

That's the.

You can find it here?

You can find it.

Yo, you can find it over there, like in the equivalent of a 7-Eleven.

No.

Yeah.

Like this big, about $3.

Boom.

Throw that back before the club.

What is it?

Liquor?

It's hard, hard liquor.

Really?

It's hard, hard.

It's hard, hard liquor.

Oh, my God.

$3, you can get hard liquor?

Yeah.

You can get drunk for cheap there.

You could get a beer, a tall boy, for like a dollar.

Like a good beer.

like i would i was drunk like after we would we got after we broke up me and my ex like i was drunk from that point like on till from till now from right right like i'm tapering now it's it's getting it's not going well but yeah like i'm just starting to sober up from now

dude i that's one of my favorite memories in beijing was was walking along after a show hanging out with the comedians there and then we're just i think we went to a bar or something and then it was like walking home or from wherever the fuck we were in the hutongs, and then it was just like, let's get a beer.

But it's like, it's 3 a.m.

24/7.

There's some guy, it's too hot to sleep, so he's out front trying to like nap, and then we're like, yeah, sure.

And you can just drink it on the streets.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It was the difference between like the, okay, I guess we'll get from that into this, like the freedoms and shit.

Because my friends, when I got back, they're like, it's totally not free, right?

I'm like, well, you can't get on Google, but you can drink a beer like a fucking adult

out on the street at 3 a.m.

And you know what?

You can also take a nap.

Just where.

If you want to like lay down on a bench in China and take a nap, nobody's going to rob you.

Nobody's going to fucking harass you.

It's safe.

The cops are not going to.

It's not about safety.

It's just like, you know, sometimes motherfuckers need a nap.

Yeah.

But I'm saying like you can feel comfortable doing that because it's safe.

Right, right.

Well, I don't know if you do it because it's safe or you do it just because everyone else is doing it.

But I'm not doing that here.

Right.

I wouldn't lay down, take a nap here.

But you could do that.

And then it was, it would be like, it wouldn't be like a homeless person.

It would for real be like a dude, like a 45 year old man obviously you know he's got like bags with him like he's waiting for his wife or some shit to finish shopping and he's just like in a recline to sleep and you're like all right and you could yeah china was you know the only i'm if i'm being perfectly honest like i would have preferred to just like bring everybody i love to china what do you mean just to live you know what i mean just because it was just like it was inexpensive there was food there it wasn't the shit we know.

You know what I mean?

But it was like,

you know,

like you can't get the KFC tastes different.

It was shit like that.

You know what I mean?

So it was like, I didn't mind cooking, but it was just like, it was so inexpensive.

You could do things.

The high-speed railroad was amazing.

It's like if you could get to like San Diego in like five hours on a train from here.

From here.

And you don't have to fucking check into the plane.

You don't have to check your luggage.

You know what I mean?

Just jump on the train.

I remember not being like, I think we, we might have to go to Wushi, actually, probably from Shanghai to Wuxi.

I think that's where we took it.

It was like we slept there that night.

Yeah, what was the bar?

Red Lion, Red Lion, yeah, those are the same people who owned Smooth.

I remember the, it was what I noticed about the expat scene there was like it was Italians, Germans, Americans, Canadians, and Irish, and they were like, Doesn't matter, here were the expats, right?

And so that was our scene.

And while when I was there, it wasn't quite when I was there, the makeup was more like Irish, British,

African, American, and then like some like Latinos sprinkled in there.

You know what I mean?

But not like, so it would be like a Chilean and a Venetian.

People met up in English?

Yeah, everybody connected in English.

But the Latino, because I would do a lot of like salsa parties and shit like that.

So there was a Latino scene out there.

There was a Mexican restaurant named Cheetos.

So it was just like, there was a, there was, we, it was fun.

Yeah.

Our city was fun.

When I was there, it was fun just because I was DJing.

Like, I was just trying to do anything.

You know what I mean?

Because when you're just like a performer and then you just find yourself at home all day, every day, with no, you know what I mean?

With no means.

And in the Middle East, I could like perform.

I could kind of like bully my way into clubs and be like, oh, we'll just do an open mic.

Oh, we'll just do this.

You know what I mean?

Oh, we'll just do a quick show being my friends.

Like, you could kind of like convince them to do that shit.

But in China, it was just like, no.

It was like, no, you can't do anything.

You know what I mean?

So So the fact that I got the DJ stuff going was good.

Yeah.

It was cool.

Everyone was like, just meet.

It's like, yo, let's drink again.

You've got to meet up at the bar and drink or stay home.

But it's like, what else are you going to do?

Right.

And home wasn't that comfortable because the TV was weird.

Netflix was hard.

You know, you need VPN for shit.

Oh, yeah.

Okay, so the government, was it like a constant worry or is it just a small thing you had to deal with as a difference?

No, the government, it was like, you don't want the government involved even like chinese people did like if i but if you if i committed a crime yeah if it wasn't heinous enough no one was calling the cops you know what i mean like no one wants the cops

even the locals don't want the cops there because then it's like even if nothing happens now the cops are on you now they're keeping an eye on you they're gonna come back they're gonna check the tapes from your venue they'll revisit you know what i mean so that's how the cops are what would happen sometimes is like the president would visit the city and they would be like, no parties.

Because you're like, hey, just don't.

Yeah, they're just like, don't do anything.

Don't do anything at all.

He'll leave and never come back if you just shut the fuck up.

He'll come back.

He'll definitely come back.

But it's like, he'll leave and then everybody will be happy.

They'll say, oh, your city's so clean.

It's so nice.

Everyone's having a nice time.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It looks pleasant.

There's no foreigners dancing.

Could you smoke weed there?

No, we had, I found a connect

to get like oil vape out there, but I don't know.

It was super duper strong.

It was like, like it was like hit it once and like fall out.

Dude, it passed out.

I had a joke about it, but when I was there, they said the weed in, I'm trying to think if it was Shanghai or Beijing or China in general, was up to

25% shoe polish, the hash.

Okay.

And I was like, that's too high a percentage for me.

5% shoe polish, I'll take.

Right.

right, but I mean, I don't know if it really was weed.

Yeah, it might have just been like opium vape

Was opium around?

No, I mean, I wasn't looking for drugs, right?

Okay, because I wasn't

I stumbled upon drugs just from DJing and shit like that, you know what I mean?

Being in the party scene, you're gonna find you're a DJ, of course, right?

So it was like I stumbled upon weed, and at that point, I was just like, yeah,

I fucking would love some weed.

And then, but what I used to do, I used to dilute it with like regular vape juice, and then you could could just smoke it.

You know what I mean?

What I noticed is they didn't even know what the fuck weed smelled like because it's such a white-only drug that they were like, they're like, you can smoke it in the street.

The cops don't even know what the fuck it is.

Right, when I went to, well, not Shanghai.

When I went to, fuck, I think it was Chengdu.

They were talking about that.

Because I saw like a headache.

Where's Chengdu?

Chengdu is

south.

That's not right over the border of Hong Kong, is it?

No, it is.

It's by Chang.

Changzhou?

Yeah.

The mountain city.

Yeah.

So it's like Chengzhu, Changzhou,

which is both.

Did you learn Mandarin at all?

I did.

I learned like Shishi.

Shishi.

Saijian.

What's that?

Zaijian is goodbye.

Oh.

I hit somebody with a shishu sometimes, and they're like, all right.

They always give me a list of things.

I do it at the Chinese restaurant.

Yeah.

I hit them with the shishi.

If you learn to say thank you or please in any language, if you're going to go to a local restaurant, people are like, all right.

Yeah, that's all you need.

That's what I've learned.

All you need is thank you and please.

Sorry.

Do we bucchi?

Sorry is a good one.

What is it?

Sorry.

Do we buy?

Doi Buchi.

Because then you can just like touch someone lightly and say it, and they're like, oh, no, fuck it.

They're like, fuck yeah, man.

Nah, you're good.

You're good.

That's cool.

Yeah.

That's cool.

You to learn that.

Right, right.

So sorry is a good one to like make friends and learn how to get money.

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We can't talk about China

without discussing the bathrooms.

So many levels of bathroom in China.

Interesting.

America has one level of bathroom,

graded or dirtiness.

Yeah, yeah.

We have one in dirty.

One style.

Now they've introduced like bidets and stuff, additions you can put on top of the guns here.

Bump guns?

No, out there.

Oh, they had those in the Middle East.

Oh, you mean in China?

Oh, no, China.

I don't think.

Well, all right.

China bathrooms start.

Where are we going?

From top to bottom?

Because if we go from bottom to top, it might be too far.

It might be too far.

I think if we go from top to bottom, you'll get started.

It starts from top to the bottom.

Okay.

All right.

So top, at the top of the bathroom food chain

is going to be Korean toilets.

Oh, interesting.

Korean toilets are the best toilets on earth.

What do they got?

They have the bidets, but it's like you ever seen Star Trek?

Sure.

Like John Luke Picard.

I've never seen him shit.

But that's what

his chair is what the toilet is like.

Wow, interesting.

You know,

you do your business, and then you're like, I need a spray here.

I need to gauge the strength of said spray, the spread.

You know, do I want to stream?

Do I want to spray?

You know what I mean?

You can do all of this like Picard.

Oh, my God.

Right, right.

Set it up.

Right, like that.

So that's the top.

And that's the one with the robotic arm.

It comes out.

That comes out.

You can hear it.

You can hear it going.

Right?

It sprays you.

It's the Korean toilet.

It's warm.

You know what I mean?

It's not icy.

You have the air to dry your hair.

You have that option.

It can blow it hot.

Right.

So that's the top of the top.

Damn.

Then below that, you have just a standard toilet.

You know what I mean?

Just regular, you sit on it.

It has a soft clothes mechanism.

U.S.

toilet.

A U.S.

toilet.

Okay.

And then

too.

Then from there,

it gets crazy.

Right?

From there.

All right.

What's the next one down?

Next one down.

I'm going to go squatty potty.

Yeah.

Now the squatty potty, you have your own stall, very much like we do here in the U.S.

Just a stall.

Hold on.

This is the next one down, but not the down down?

Oh, no, we go lower.

Oh, my God.

Okay.

Wait, how low?

Wait, I thought that's why you no, yeah, yeah.

I thought this was getting to the end.

Go ahead.

I didn't there's only one or two below.

Oh, this is bad because this should be the worst in the world.

No, no, this is not the worst at all.

This is what they had in the gym, actually.

Okay.

The squatty potty is you have a stall.

It's personal.

There's a roll of toilet paper.

There might be a bottle of Lysol.

You know, toilet cleanup, might be a brush, right?

But there's no bowl.

There's nothing to sit on.

There's some foot pads right next to you.

There's a hole in the floor.

There might be a string.

There might be a flush, but it's a bathroom.

It's just not a bathroom you're accustomed to.

It's still clean.

It's still functional.

Okay.

But you got to also have

hamstrings and quads.

Do they teach you how to do it?

I feel like they don't.

No, they leave you to yourself.

They leave it to you.

So when I first, first time I did it, I had to brace behind.

Like my upper legs.

I had to brace because so there's a hole in the floor.

Yeah, then

beyond the hole, there's a square, like a porcelain square, which is where your feet go, some splash, whatever.

That's what it's so it's easy to clean.

So, and behind that, it's just regular floor and it's floor with sh with piss on it, probably, right?

But what am I gonna do?

I'm either gonna fall into this hole or I'm gonna put my hand.

So, you go backwards as if you're about to do some breakdance move?

I go back.

Well, first I try and squat, like I think I can, but you just can't do it.

So then I got a brace

with backhand, right?

Then I started doing squats, started doing deadlifts, and then I was able to do it with a front brace where I could hold up.

You know what I mean?

Lean forward on the door.

But don't topple over.

Don't topple over and also don't have to touch the dirty floor behind.

So I had to step up.

So this is, and then by the time I left, I could go, you know, full sumo, just

focus.

And

you could just do it, you could.

But you had to do it often.

Like, if you did it for like a week and then didn't do it for two weeks, you have to

start over.

You got to start with the brace again.

Because

it's really just like an exercise thing.

Like, it's really like just like a workout thing.

Like, you got to get your inner legs good.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right.

So then, so that's

step.

So that was three.

Yeah.

Three of.

We'll see.

Let's say three of five.

Let's do two more.

Number four, we'll just get, we'll do natural,

you know, outside

doing your business.

No, I don't know.

What does that mean?

Just like peeing in a bush, peeing on a tree.

You know what I mean?

Okay.

And I only bring that up.

No toilet, you mean?

No toilet at all.

And

that only happens in an emergency.

But the emergency, I would say, is less of an emergency for them than for us.

Like for you to like shit in the street, it would, you would be like, you know, I gotta shit.

It went really bad.

Right, right, right, right, right now.

I think for them, they're like, I gotta shit in the street.

I don't want to.

I don't want to look, I don't want to wait till I get home.

I think it's less healthy for me to, you know what I mean?

So they shit in the street.

Not in the street, but like, you'll see a woman coming from behind a bush, and you're like, God damn, damn,

on the reg.

Not on the reg, but like, but it happens more than you would think.

Wow.

Because I remember seeing the kids.

kids also so I would I would lump this lady I would lump kids into this one because you'll see a grandma hold like a kid over a sewer and He'll just like they'll just like poop into the sewer.

They'll clean the baby throw the towel into the sewer.

So there's no shit on the street.

You know that is nice.

You know what I mean?

But

you're right, right.

So you'll see just like a little kid just like pooping.

And you're like, all right.

So that's number four.

Now number five

is the worst.

Number five is going to be the shared

poop stream.

What?

Now,

have you ever been to a urinal, but it's not a urinal.

It's just like a wall.

A trough.

A trough.

Where you're just, you and a bunch of dudes are just standing there.

Yeah, but that's

all for ping for poop.

in China.

So what it'll be is one long, like you and I are sitting like this, right?

But there's a wall between us.

We don't see each other.

However, underneath us is like a shared stream

of water.

Just going down like...

Just streaming down.

So there's a guy to your right, there's a guy to his right.

Starting the water slide, and then it just goes that way.

Right.

And there's a running flow of water.

Of shit water, though.

Well, it depends where you're sitting.

If you're downstream from somebody.

Right.

And you're probably downstream.

So

that's the absolute worst one where you're coming to the bottom.

Is that a hole in the floor trough?

That was above.

I mean,

there's a place for you to be, but it's not like a toilet.

You still got a squat.

You still need your squat skills from level three,

but you also need your public yourself.

Because if the worst happens from level four, if the worst happens and you fall in,

it's over.

It's over.

It's over.

There's no coming back from that.

There's really no coming back from that.

But you know, you have like fail safes.

Like, you got to grab the dirty.

I'm sorry.

You got to grab like the dirty wall.

Or you got to grab like the dirty floor.

Like, you can't fall in.

Like, you literally cannot fall in.

Wow.

It's not an option.

Where's Wooshi?

Wooshi's going to be.

Where's.

Oh, this is an old-ass racist match.

It's very racist.

Look, it's Nankin with an I, with a K.

It's an old, old man.

He king.

They don't have the fucking.

Mongolia.

Yeah, so we're going to to be...

Shit.

I'm going to assume.

Alright, so I'm going to say around here-ish.

Yeah, right around there, yeah.

Yeah, because Ningbo.

Woo, oh, look.

Woo.

Woohoo?

Oh, Shanghai's right there.

All right, so yeah, we were about right here.

Oh, maybe that's woohoo.

Maybe, but I don't know.

That's interesting.

Yeah.

I like these old maps.

It's like you kind of know where it is, but you're like, what?

Damn, that would be.

But you know, you only saw that bathroom.

When you saw that bathroom,

you knew that bathroom was coming because you were like in an outdoor mall or like a, you know, a market or some shit like that.

You weren't like in like a home's house.

Right, right.

You know what I mean?

Right.

You're not at someone's house.

So it's like if you are at that bathroom, you already know what's up.

You're like, I go to the bathroom, like, here?

I know.

I know.

Right.

The kids are like, I got a pig.

You're like, get the fuck out of there.

Now you're not.

That's crazy.

You're like, absolutely not.

Get the fuck out of here.

That's fine.

You don't want this, bro.

Were there weekends in Shanghai or was it all just, I mean, not Shanghai, in China, Wuxi?

Or was it all just day?

What do you mean?

So like in Myanmar, they didn't have the idea of a weekend.

They didn't have the idea of those two days off.

So when you're like, are the weekends busier?

Like, what's a weekend?

It's just Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

Well, we had weekends because my wife was, my ex-wife was teaching.

Yeah.

So they had the school week and then they have okay, but was it like was it so?

Like if you go out on Saturday night in New York, it's busier than if you go out on Tuesday night in New York.

Was it like that there?

Or was it all nightlife-wise, yeah.

Okay, they did have it.

Yeah, we had weekends.

We had, yeah,

for sure.

But we were, I think, like, the bigger cities probably had a more

like a less defined shift in the work week.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

Like a like Shanghai would have like a financial district, but Wu Shi was just teachers and fucking.

It's so weird to be in an out-of-town city.

Like, we went to Suzhou, and Turner, who was running at the end, he goes,

you won't be here long enough to know, but Suzhou feels like a sleepy city because it's like a neighbor city to Shanghai.

But it's still 8 million people.

Right.

But it feels sleepy.

We were like 2 million in Wuxi, and they were like, this is a tiny town.

Wow.

I can love.

Wow.

Bang, bigger than Nashville.

Right.

Damn.

I think Wuxi had like a similar population to New York or something like that.

To the city?

yeah but it was just like they were like that means nothing to us damn what were the foods besides like that what what else was there like in china food was

well they did a lot of hot pot that's cool hot pot was good and then um we had we had this place that we used to go to called the wallux which was a hotel it was like uh international hotel and they used to do uh like a breakfast like an inter well no an international like brunt uh dinner buffet yeah and it was interesting because it was kind of Americanized, but you could still see the Chinese influence.

So it was kind of what we, it was kind of like the equivalent of going to like Chinese takeout here.

And where the Chinese people are like, ugh.

What do you mean?

No, they like, it's like Chinese takeout here to us.

So we go to Chinese takeout.

We're like, authentic Chinese food.

But then Chinese people eating it like, all right.

This is a good take on Chinese.

Right.

Right.

So that was, it was like their take on American food.

You know what I mean?

so it was like it was still like nuggets and fries and shit but it was just like a little different you know what i mean there was a little a little soy sauce in it or some you know what i mean

that's what we used to eat over there so it's like when you see chinese people eating at panda express and you're like what the yeah you're like is that good to you they're like no they're like you know but it's the closest thing you guys got that's funny to homes that's funny because when i when i was there something that i noticed was like a lot of people were just like hey we've already eaten chinese food a bunch we just want our own food so we'd only eat like american style places right and that and that it made me understand why chinese people here like we're just sticking to our own right i just want i tried a burger i tried a burger five times great i'm not gonna eat it every day i love it it's not what i'm used to yeah right i need some noodles right because they would eat like for breakfast the like my kids classmates would have like a bowl of noodles

like what the fuck yeah what was a breakfast like there Like a hotel breakfast was fucking weird.

Yeah.

It would be like rice and noodles.

And dragon fruit.

right dragon it would be fruit but it wouldn't be like there was no like omelette station yeah there's a waffle iron you know what i mean like i went to a hotel breakfast in texas a couple weeks ago i was that was like the first hotel breakfast i've been to in america i was like waffle station right there was waffles and omelets and fucking bacon piled to the ceiling i was like fuck yeah Are there fat people in China or no?

There is like one or two fat people and they're kind of like, that's like their personality.

It's not like America, where it's like mad fat people.

I think I remember saying, like, there's no fat people.

I was like, oh, that's a fat guy.

It's finally what my friend was like, my friend was like, our definition of fat is different.

I saw

by American standards, I saw like one or two fat guys.

Yeah, fat.

By their standards, there was fat people.

Well, the one I picked out was like, that's one.

And my friend's like, dude, it's not that you're racist, but that's a Korean.

And I'm like, what?

He goes, yeah, you can tell it's different, but that's a visiting Korean.

All right.

I'm like, oh, damn.

So really, none, no Texas fat is what I saw.

No, you don't see like wheelie scooters fat.

Hey, did you see any like Uyghur shit, or was it completely removed from like the discourse or

no?

I didn't see any.

It wasn't

that was happening in the middle.

Okay, we weren't allowed to talk about it.

I knew about it because I had a VPN and Reddit and shit.

Explain what a VPN is so that people don't understand how it came in handy in China.

Bypass.

Well, they put a wall, the firewall up, the great firewall, as they call it.

that's what they call it the great firewall of china so it's just kind of like you can't see anything really like there's no twitter there's no facebooks no google there's no

uh

it's just it's assume there's it's assume it's not there oh not a random sites the most they'd be like what it can't not even random sites because sometimes you'll like use uh whatever their chat was i think weibo or whatever yeah like you say some shit like what day is chinese new year on their internet and the site would take like 20 minutes to load and you're just like like you know what I mean they're just like filtering it to see if it's up just to see like if everything because it's in English number one it's you know it's a weird site that I don't know was there a lot of like government spying on you I well one we got spoken to in uh

I think Nanjing yeah

we got spoken to in Nanjing because we were doing a show for a wine tasting and the assumption was that a a competing wine

uh what are they called company seller oh yeah just not the but not like a distributor okay like a competing wine distributor got wind of the event and reported us for performing because my visa was a spouse visa so I wasn't supposed to be making money that's right under any circumstance so while we're doing the show the fucking cops show up And

there was three of us performing.

All three of us, they brought us into the station and they interrogated us for like eight hours.

So while they're interrogating us, they're like, they have this folder and they're showing us like old flyers of shows that we had done like months ago.

So don't even try to live months ago.

Wow.

That had nothing to do.

And they had nothing to do with it.

And this is the local Nanjing government.

This isn't even like...

This isn't even like the whole Chinese government.

This is just the local Nanjing government.

So they're going through and their argument is, first their argument is somebody reported this, so we have to follow up.

And they kept saying that.

And the only reason they kept saying that was because they didn't want to be there.

You know what I mean?

They were like, this is not worth our time.

Because

we weren't performing for like sold-out stadiums, making millions of dollars.

We were making fucking $200 to

split between three people.

You know what I mean?

And free drinks and dinner in a hotel.

That's what we were doing.

So they weren't like, we're shutting you down foreigner.

They were like, somebody said something.

You guys are being too obvious with the shit you're doing, and you're bothering us now, and you need to fix that.

So, that was their real message.

And then they were like going through this folder that's showing us all these flyers.

They're showing us WeChat profile shit.

Oh, we got a show tonight.

Oh, this is our show taking pictures.

All that shit.

So, what?

So, they just had a file on you already.

I guess.

I mean, I don't know if they had one already, if

they got it once the report came in.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

Either way, it's fucked.

You know what I mean?

Like if they can just get that information when they need it or if they're just accumulating it, either way is fucked up.

But they were just like, all right, here's the deal.

Don't perform in Nanjing no more.

Nanjing no more.

If you want to perform in Nanjing, you got to call us first.

And we were like, all right, no problem.

And they let us rock.

But

granted, this is eight hours later.

So this is not just like a slap on the wrist.

We were fucking sweating like, what the fuck is about to happen?

Like, I was broken up with my wife, and I still still messaged her, like, yo, this might be it, you know, yeah, because that's the fear.

It's like, once they get you in custody, you're right, I was like, this might be it.

I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry for everything.

I changed myself.

Right, I'm sorry for everything I put you guys through.

Oh my god.

And then I got home.

I was like, fuck you, bitch.

I'm back, bitch.

You didn't think it's me again.

You ratted it on my show.

It didn't work.

How was COVID there?

Were they disappearing people?

Not where I lived.

Yeah.

Because Wuhan is relatively north yeah so I think I don't Mongolia is not a real thing

Wuhan's kind of midway between Beijing and Shanghai so it's probably gonna be around here somewhere

for sure but so

we

you know Chinese New Year they give a break like they stop

the whole everything like they stop doing everything so Chinese New Year happened and then

they shut the whole country down and then COVID happened, like

the beginnings of COVID, like during Chinese New Year.

So it was just kind of like, there's a new disease out, guys.

Shit is getting weird.

Stay tuned for more updates.

And this is while Chinese New Year is happening.

So people are like traveling abroad.

There's people who've left China.

There's all this.

When is Chinese New Year?

Not January.

It changes.

It fluctuates year by year.

It's a lunar cycle.

So it's like relative, it's around January to February each year.

But it moves around a lot.

So it's just like

Chinese New Year happened, everything shut down.

And then

from there, there was just like, there's a new disease out.

People were flying out.

People were overseas.

And then they were just like, we're going to extend Chinese New Year.

So don't go back to work yet.

Don't go back to school yet.

We're just going to stay shut down for a little bit.

And then, you know, so everybody, you know, it's kind of happy at that point.

They're like, oh, shit, couple extra, couple extra weeks of vacation.

Let's go.

And then it was just, then it started getting worrying.

Like, all right, when are we going back?

And they're like, no, just shut down for a little more.

Then they acknowledged COVID.

Then they shut everything down.

No flights in.

So there were people who were stuck outside

of China.

Couldn't get back in.

There were people who were stuck in China.

Couldn't get out.

We stayed the whole time.

And then

it was just kind of just like nobody knew what was going on.

Like, when can we leave?

When can we stay?

Would they let you out of your homes?

Yeah, we could go buy a grocery.

At one point,

right back.

Grocery.

Well,

you could be outside, but we had these codes on our phone.

So it would be green, yellow, or red.

So red meant you have COVID.

Yellow meant you around somebody with COVID, or you were in an area where somebody had COVID, and green meant you were fine.

So if you had a green code, you could go wherever.

And you would have to show people your code?

You have to scan your code.

Yeah, you have to show people everywhere you went.

You have to show the code.

So it's like, hey, and they would send you, you come in contact with someone, you were at a restaurant two days ago, someone else had it there.

Right.

Then your code would turn yellow.

You wouldn't even know what happened.

And people like that.

It wouldn't even have to be a restaurant.

It could be like the train station.

You know what I mean?

Like some shit with this thousand dollars.

How many times you get yellow?

Never.

Never.

Never.

Not once.

Interesting.

Not once.

But it wasn't, they were very, like, shut, like, they were very locked down.

Like, we were very, very locked down.

Like, if somebody got COVID in the city, they would shut down the city.

Really?

You know what I mean?

Like, if a yellow or a red coat showed up, like, you know, across town, like the equivalent of the Bronx.

Yeah.

And they would be like, all right, New York shut down.

Nobody can come.

Nobody can go.

Right.

Until the shit is over.

Like, they would do that periodically.

And then we eventually just opened everything back up.

And then that's when America shut down.

So that's like Marches, late February, March or so.

Damn.

Yeah.

And that's because prior to us opening back up, we were kind of like, once this shit opens back up, we're going back home.

You know what I mean?

Like, fuck this.

This shit is not worth worth it.

Fuck China.

Fuck everything.

We're going home.

And then we got out of it.

And that's when America, because I, and mind you, I'm like on my Instagram, you know, sparingly, but I'm like, yo, shit is crazy over here.

I'm showing my mask.

I'm in the store.

People are like, yo, watch out.

Be safe, bro.

Hold it down.

You know what I mean?

Like, that's the messages they send to me.

And then March comes, America shuts down completely.

And we were just like, you know what I mean?

We were just like, fuck, I guess we hit.

Yeah, where's there to go?

Everyone's trying to get that last flight to America with the idea that like it won't, this disease won't be in America.

There were a bunch of flights like that.

Yeah, though.

We knew a guy who he missed the last flight out.

You know, there's all these last flight outs.

He missed the last flight out from Vietnam.

People were chartering planes.

People were like chipping in and like getting private jets.

And then there was like a whole thing where people were like leaving their animals and being like, if anyone's flying to America, please bring my dog.

And it was just like, oh,

it was crazy.

But, you know.

It was cool.

Damn.

How hard was it once you finally did leave?

Like getting used to and like making a decision.

like it's because you were there for years well i wanted to leave because i was already broken up with my ex and uh

i was just kind of just like struggling you know not struggling but just like suffering through it yeah until it was time to leave like i was very much looking forward to leaving and getting back to new york plus like when i was there it looked like everybody was super successful You know what I mean?

It's like a bunch of streaming shows coming out.

Yeah, like in New York, there was a bunch of like festivals.

Public people step up.

People are doing spots and i'm like i want to get back there you know what i mean like i was like the biggest i'm not gonna say i was the biggest thing in china obviously there's like huge guys from there but like for what i was doing for the effort i was putting in like i was i was where i could get like outside of that i would have needed to dedicate myself to chinese comedy you know what i mean to like figuring out the scene producing shows out there getting government licenses and i didn't want to do that at all like i didn't even want to be this it's not part of joke telling right so i was like i wanted to get back to new york I want to compete with the fucking, you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah,

I want to go back in the NBA.

You know what I mean?

Like, I want to get back in the NBA.

I want to get back and compete with the fucking competitors.

I want to fucking go after a killer or go before a killer or host for a bunch of, you know what I mean?

Yeah, like if Hitler came back, he's not working at a 7-Eleven.

He's getting back to murdering.

Right.

He's taking on Putin.

Yeah.

He's going right for Putin.

We're like, damn, do we fuck with Hitler now?

That's so funny.

Damn.

All right, dude.

Is there anything you feel like you left out of the fucking, have you had to tell people what China's like?

China is dope in the same way high school is dope.

You should go to high school.

You should finish high school.

But when you finish high school, you shouldn't be hanging out around high school trying to look cool.

That's how I would describe China.

I love my time in China, but I'm not trying to be like...

You know what I mean?

Like, I tour in China all the time.

You know what I mean?

Like, I want to just take the experience, let it, you know, let it manifest.

Right.

And let it go.

But like I said, I want to compete, man.

I want to fucking.

You are.

My friend just told me the other day.

He was like, he's new here from L.A.

And he was like, all these hosts

in New York, like, most of them are just doing like, he followed me around.

He did six spots one night.

He just came around to like four of them.

He was like, they're just like bringing people on.

And he goes, who's that guy at the cellar?

He was actually a real comic hosting.

It was you.

Oh, thank you.

He's like, he's like, even if you just do 30 seconds, like,

It's your show.

It's like, you get it.

Not everybody gets it.

But that's all, you know, it was like, I, I, the one thing I really appreciate about my time overseas is like, I really had to work for comedy.

What do you mean?

Like, I had to, like, work to get it.

Right.

It was no, it's like in New York, like, people get lazy

because there's shows, like, people will give you a show.

You can get a spot.

Yeah.

Like, I can go get a spot.

You can just be there and be like, hey, you want to go out next?

Right.

Okay.

I can get it.

Or I can call somebody.

I can text somebody.

It's I can get it.

Like overseas, there were no spots to get.

Like, if you want to perform, you got to put the whole shit together.

You got to put together like the audience, the venue, the promotion.

Like, if you want to perform, you got to fucking perform.

And like, you got to, like, it really makes you acknowledge that you love this shit.

You know what I mean?

When you're like, all right, fuck it.

Because, like, I said, for a good chunk of time, I was just like, I just won't do it.

I'm fine with not doing it.

But when there was like a void, when there was no comedy, I was like, I got it.

I was like, I got to step it up.

I was like, I got it.

I got to fucking

get in there.

It was calling me.

It was like, yo, you got to fucking do comedy again.

You're doing great.

I can't stop doing comedy.

And then I got back here, and it's just like, oh man.

It blew up for you pretty fast.

I don't think it's going to be a good thing.

Well, I mean, you're getting a lot of stocks.

You're in the scene.

But I mean, that's, I feel like I'm just applying the same work ethic that I had in China.

Like, this is the same level of pressure I put on in China.

It's much better results because it's New York City.

I know, but

it's like the standard, like, I've seen a lot of people.

and the standard is like, hey, I'm new.

I just came from

Hushi.

They talked to you had been there.

I'm like, oh, cool.

And in my head, not because it's you, but like, that's a guy who's going to be here for three months.

And then I'll probably never see him again.

I might see him in two years.

But instead, you're like an everyday guy.

No, that's what I'm talking about.

I mean, that's what I was before.

Right.

Like, I'm a pre-COVID New York comic.

You were here before that?

I was.

I came up in New York.

I started before

that.

So it's not like I flew from New York.

I didn't.

Oh, I got the sense you started there.

No,

how is he fucking lapping everybody?

That makes a lot more sense.

I was doing open mics.

Like, my first open mic was at the cellar.

This is back when, like, Eric Rivero was hosting open mics at the cellar.

Like, three.

Yeah.

So it was like, that was, yeah, I've been.

So it was like, I'm just here.

Like, it was like, because it's like you leave New York and you're like, fuck, I wasn't taking advantage of that at all.

You know what I mean?

Like, I wasn't,

right?

Like, I was fucking around doing Coke when I i should have been banging out spots yeah and then you come back and you're like nah i'm fucking i'm back like let's go yeah like i'll and now you know you can just do coke after your spots right right you could do coke right it's just like organizing right that's it it's just do drugs just do them responsibly it's true

you got any travel tips for these people or no travel tips i would say uh pack light yeah that's what danny brown's travel tip was right yeah pack light that's a good one it's a very it's the best one yeah bring the bare minimum yeah um

yeah bring a washcloth though.

Bring a washcloth.

Because, man, man, sponsors don't have washcloths.

I don't get it.

Like, they'll have towels.

They'll have hand towels.

There's just no washcloths.

Interesting.

So bring a washcloth.

Moisturize.

Where can people find you, buddy?

What'srelygood though.com.

That's the podcast.

What'sregoodthough.com?

What's really good, though?

Wait.

T-H-O.

And that's the website.

That's where you find it.

Yeah, that's the website.

What's really good, though?

Yeah.

Okay.

And then...

Who you do it with?

Yourself?

It's me, Jonathan Randall, Phil Risdon.

So.

I don't know, Phil.

We're going to see.

What's really good, though?

It's man new, so this might not be relevant by the time.

It might be, but we'll say.

It won't be the first time it's happened.

Somebody promoted something.

It's like, oh, that thing doesn't exist anymore.

Sim De La Creme on Instagram.

Wait, say that again.

Sim.

Sim DeLacreme, D-E, L-A-C-R-E-M-E.

Okay, Sim DeLacreme.

Sim De La Creme.

Simeon Goodson wasn't there?

That's me.

Simeon Goodson, Facebook.

Oh, okay, very nice.

Buddy, thank you very much.

Thank you so much for that.

It takes me back to being there.

It's fucking good to hear about this shit.

Yeah.

Forgot about it.

I got to get back at some point, even for vacation.

All right, I'll let you go.

Thank you, buddy.

Appreciate you, man.

Well, you guys, that's the episode.

Thank you very much, Simeon Goodson, for coming in.

Reach out to him

on Instagram at theSimeon Goodson Show and send him a message.

Tell him you liked the episode and follow him.

Like I said, he's got 303 followers right now.

Let's get him to a thousand.

That would be very cool.

It'd make him very happy.

Do that for all my guests, by the way.

For every one of the guests, if you like the episode, if you got nothing good to say about it, don't even watch.

I was on Tucker Carlson this week.

So much hatred without people even saying it.

It was so great.

So many, I'm done with you is now it's forever.

From him, too.

You had this motherfucker Arian?

I'm done with you, Tucker Carlson.

Sorry about your 30-year-long career in journalism.

This is the straw that broke the fucking Karen's back.

Guys, before I go, I'd like to tell you about my Patreon and something I do during that.

I decided to do one here.

I get postcards from you guys from around the globe.

I read them right here on the Patreon.

Patreon.com slash UB Trippin'.

This one is sent from Amsterdam.

Can you see the fucking

stamp?

There's a postcard.

There it is.

Pretty interesting.

You can send it to UB Trippin'

written on here.

151 First Avenue, the number one First Avenue, number 49, New York, New York, 10003.

I'll read this one.

And then what I want to do is I want to fill up this whole fucking wall, include if I'm standing, by the way.

Imagine like the screen goes out if you're watching and not listening.

But I have this wall behind me if you're listening, and I want to fill it with all the postcards.

I've done these three already.

I'm also do other things in the Patreon.

I talk about some travels and stuff.

Patreon.com slash UB Trippin'.

Okay, here we go.

Hello, Ari.

This is a postcard I found in my jacket the day after getting drunk in Amsterdam.

In Amsterdam's Red Light District.

Oh, the S was covered up by the stamp.

Tip from me to you if you're sending a postcard.

Put the stamp on first and then fill it out.

I know it's counterintuitive and counter whatever, but like, guys, look at that.

Those stamps are like way bigger than you think.

You're never gonna fucking...

Hey, it's a tip.

You do whatever you want, but it's a tip.

Hello, Ari.

Here's a postcard I found in my jacket the day after getting drunk in Amsterdam's Red Light District.

You guys know what Amsterdam's Red Light District?

It's pretty fucking famous.

If you don't know, it's where you get fucking hookers.

I went there one time.

Well, the first time I went there.

It's interesting because they have different regions of the Red Light District.

It's like districts of the district.

So if you don't know, it's this, and I mean, have it done an MC?

Oh, I have done one with KFC.

It's just like windows.

It's like store windows.

You know

those things that come up, the

window covers that like go all the way down and then you like pull it down it goes

and spins Yeah, it's like that and they stand there in the windows and I guess you go yeah, I'll take you When I when I went it was already the cell phone era and they were just on their phones I assume they would have worked hard.

It's very uncomfortable you get up close and they start waving you in and it's like I fuck I don't want to hide they're not gonna look away So what I end up doing is going across the canal and try to look

look directly across

to stare at them Anyway, some of them are really hot, some of them are gross, and they get grosser in certain areas.

It's like the fat district.

That's what I saw.

Could have just been an off day.

I don't know, but that's my observation.

My favorite comment on the Tucker Carlson thing.

You know what I need, by the way?

I need someone to point out my fucking, I need someone to help me make clips.

I want a fan to help me find clips from the podcasts I'm on.

Who wants to do it?

I'll give you what's fair

50 bucks a week to listen to the podcast I'm on.

And all you got to do is point out a good in and out of a moment, a great moment that I had.

Either funny, more likely, or super interesting.

Yeah, write to me.

On maybe Instagram, I guess.

I'll find another place.

Anyway, the point is, where were we?

Oh, so the red light district.

So anyway, then you go further and further, and then it becomes the trans, or really just the cross-dressers.

America has this idea about trans that is not shared by everyone.

Kind of like when

I had a South African shit that I actually met

in Switzerland.

Oh, I can't remember his name.

Luis Augola.

Loiso.

And

he told me it's interesting that Americans have this version of black

that is not shared by africans because we have a slavery uh history and they don't

so like there was this ad an h m ad in africa saying um

so black kid in a sweater and it's like not another it was something along the lines of like not another monkey from the tree or something like that everyone's like that's so racist and then the mom was like we don't have we don't compare ourselves the monkeys here that's you guys so i don't even know what you're talking about um i might be getting that wrong i think i'm getting it right though.

I think I'm getting it right.

Um,

anyway, what was I gonna say?

Oh, so the trans also is different in other places.

I think I am, it's different in other places, and they have cross-dressers.

Remember, transvestites?

What happened to them?

Whatever happened to transvestites?

Legitimately, what happened to transvestites and what happened to autistic kids?

It used to be

no, you know, what autism, i think replaced um

people with birthday effects you know when the cleft palate and stuff a little warm like you know the smoke out of their lip those are gone now and now we have hella autism so the autism like oh it's a problem but it has replaced cleft lips which is girls to be around if you have cleft lip sorry but you know it's true

um

Anyway, so you go further and further out and it's just dudes in like like dudes in a bikini but like fat dudes in like with hairy chests and like It's not this like I'm just trying to be a woman.

It's like no, they're not it's a different thing same thing with the ladyboys in Thailand.

They're not exactly trans.

It's a different thing.

And people like you shouldn't call them lady boys.

I'm like, I got that from them.

I got that from them.

Here's a postcard I found on my jacket the day after getting drunk in Amsterdam's red light district.

I may have stolen it.

It may have been free.

I have stories from that trip that include the best party I've ever been to.

If you want to hear about it, let me know.

I love, I took seven of these postcards.

Best Travels, Anthony.

Well, Anthony, thank you very much for sending this postcard.

The best party I've ever been to,

I don't like the word best,

but I will take one of my favorite parties was Wavy Deity's house in Edinburgh, Scotland.

And man, the cocaine was planted.

I mean, there was piles of it.

Coke, Molly.

I fake snorted cocaine there.

I was nervous around it.

I think I had maybe done it once.

Maybe not, though.

No, I had.

I first did cocaine with a waitress at a comedy club in Seattle.

And then we had sex.

Without a condom.

I don't know what happened to her.

But I did know that at that comedy club, they told me you have to be clean.

I was like, I don't think you're talking to me.

I think I'm a legit comic.

And I think you're talking to your locals.

And it was not clean.

It went great.

Club died.

Also later I found a check from that club from behind my desk when I moved my desk out, uncashed, $700.

Try to cash it at bounce.

The club was closed.

I tried to call and say, Can you write me a new check?

And they're like, The business is done.

You fucked up.

Anyway, so thank you, Anthony.

What I'm gonna do is I'm gonna put this right here

or here, here.

We'll continue making this wall

fill it up.

Tom Rhodes, who I want on this podcast, has a fucking massive wall of these.

And I'm gonna copy them.

Damn, nice one.

All right, I got four.

Again, send it to 151,

the number 1

First Avenue, number 49, New York, New York, 10003.

If you send a package, they will

send it back or it won't be put in the slot.

It's just a postcard box.

You cannot take anything bigger than

like a letter.

So don't send anything.

And my assistant gets them, brings them to me.

Then I read them on the patreon.com slash you be tripping.

That was a fun one with Simeon.

Thank you very much to your mom's house for producing this podcast.

Alan Caffey for editing it.

Thank you, Simeon, for fucking sending me all those pictures and fucking telling me about a great time in fucking China.

I heard they're coming back now.

I did just hear that they're coming back.

I had the wonton Dawn on today.

I recorded one.

Yeah, he told me that they're going back to like welcoming in American dollars and white people.

And and it kind of kicked everybody out especially during COVID and then it was like oh, we're missing those bucks

So make a trip to China.

Just don't speak out in the government and you'll be fine run a disco night run a DJ night run a black night B Simeon Goodson guys.

That's the episode.

Thank you very much for tuning in subscribe right now before we go and next week

Who's on next week?

I think I'm going to start a run of four podcasts in four different locations.

So I I think well we'll see I don't know is my answer I don't know who's on next week but

somebody big

July that's nothing month right which I have on hold on hold on hold on hold on I can get this I have a Ubi tripping release order

I went to Yosemite for the first time oh that's on the Patreon next week is all my national park stuff.

I went to Yosemite and I went to Acadia, both for the first time.

You'll be tripping guests.

Oh, by the way, if you have a guest suggestion, reach out on YouTube.

Tell me who it is and why that they've been somewhere that you want to see them on there.

But let me know where they've been.

Sometimes I'll respond to those.

The first of the first day or two of the YouTube release, I'll go in there and reply to the comments.

They're fucking good tips on things to do in places.

Okay, it's either gonna be Mark Norman or H.

Foley.

Anyway, both will be good.

Paris or Greece.

Ladies and gentlemen, that's it.

Thank you very much.

Until next week, hold on.

It's not me, me, how.

I have a computer in front of me.

Can buy in Mandarin.

Here we go.

Oh, I had to say this out loud.

Zajen.

Zajen.

Until next week, everybody.

Zai Jian.

That's what I said.

Zajen.

What a crazy language.

Bye.