London, England w/ Tim Dillon | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

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You know what I realized?

This is the gayest I've ever seen seen you.

Yeah, interesting.

Yeah.

Yes, perhaps.

That's maybe why it stands out a little bit.

That's what it is.

Yeah.

I used to dress very like

I was a dock worker.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Like I was season two of The Wire.

Yeah.

That's that when they went to the docks.

Yeah.

That's the ones at the dock.

That's the one no one really loved.

No, I know, but everyone was like, they're taking chances.

And everyone was like, no, it's good.

Sorry, I'm just shutting this off.

That's right.

And everyone was like, no, it's actually good.

You just don't get it.

And it's like, no, it's not good.

That's what they say about Kendrick Lamar.

Yeah.

And so many comics, too, where they're like, no, he's out there.

He's like a Kaufman-esque.

That's what they say.

You just don't get it.

Yeah, I like some of it.

I don't know.

I find as you get older, and this could be me,

my opinions on

music

are not nearly as strong as they were.

They're like, who gives a fuck?

It's very, I don't care anymore.

Dude, I love when you got Kendrick or Drake.

I'm like, I know they both seem to be mad.

No, I find that people that have a real opinion about that after a certain age, it's odd.

Yeah.

That's like a weird thing to go.

I'm heavily invested in who wins this rap battle.

I'm a 40-year-old white guy, but I really care.

I'm on this team.

I did when I was like 17.

And it was like 50 Cent and Ja Rule or Nas and Jay-Z or Jadakiss at 50 Cent.

It was fun, but then you grow up and you kind of can't care as much.

Do you ever just see some of these things?

Because you've had like second, third cycles of like the same thing

in politics or in music or whatever.

And you go, oh, I know what you guys are doing.

You guys are just drumming up like business for each other.

The whole world seems like that.

Like you have Justin, the Blake Lively, Justin Bell Doni thing.

You're like, isn't that kind of like Johnny Depp Amber Heard?

Right.

And you're like, isn't it's like a thing everybody's getting involved in?

Yeah, we all have to, we've all been assigned this

new OJ.

And it's like, that's weird now they're talking about going into iran and you're like didn't didn't we do that i've heard it's great hiking yeah

is that is that what trump's really all about national park and they're talking about that and you go but didn't we do this didn't we do that already didn't we do this

yeah that's how it's like when they're doing like the peace thing with the gaza and israel and you're like we did it we had a handshake they had a handshake yeah i'm like i i don't know it feels like they've done this yeah it was a handshake it was somebody in a suit and somebody in a fucking black black and white fucking tablecloth.

Can do, which people don't want to hear.

Yeah, the only thing you can really do

and is check out.

And no one wants to hear that.

Meaning, like, I love it.

You have to check.

You actually, for your own sanity, have to check out a little bit and go, oh, yeah, I'm not going to get invested in every fucking thing.

Where you been and where you going?

This is Ari's travel show.

Yeah, we're going to talk about travel today it's you be tripping yeah

um welcome to you be tripping everybody it's a travel podcast the only travel podcast that has uh both fats and thins in the same room together wait a minute that can't be true it's the only travel podcast with fats and thins yeah i i mean that seems what by the way what a claim What a claim to make.

I guarantee there are, there's definitely a travel podcast with a fat chick and her gay friend, and they are really mad right now.

By the way, it's the only, can we be honest about traveling for a minute?

Because this is going to make you very angry and upset.

Okay.

I'm going to tell you something, and I wonder how you're going to take it because I'm not.

I'm not.

No, there's already

75 podcasts about fatty world travel.

Fat is such a great way to say that.

So the plus-size park hoppers, the fat chicks at Disney World.

I mean,

you're not even in the top 10 of these.

And you've platformed some fatties on this.

And still,

I think

some of the dumbest people I know are the most well-traveled.

Interesting.

Let me think, because I'm leaning towards agreeing.

Yeah.

Some of the people that when they talk, they have such a superficial knowledge of something.

They don't really,

they really

lean on this idea that they're well-traveled.

And they'll say things like, when I was in Kuala Lumpur,

but they're never in any of these places long enough to actually know anything important from them.

Cultural.

They're just

serve this kind of food.

They are

doing this as a way to seem interesting without acquiring any knowledge.

Not you, because you actually will plant in places and stay there and learn shit.

But I've met the people you're talking about.

Yeah, they just kind kind of blow,

like, they're blown around the world.

Yeah.

You know?

And I feel like they're not.

Is there something wrong?

No, I'm actually surprised.

I thought maybe there would be, but there's not.

Okay, good.

Yeah, they go out there, they co-opt a word or a street name.

I'm unimpressed always by somebody who, and then they ask you to.

They throw it in your fucking face.

They throw it in your face.

They ask you where you've been, but they don't care.

They don't care.

They only say

to tell you

how much shit they know, and they never know anything.

They never know anything.

I went on a hike in Ecuador, and this guy we were with kept trying to do these leading questions.

Yeah.

He goes, What's your favorite mountain range?

And I was like,

I don't have what's your favorite mountain range?

Oh, the Andes.

I just love them.

What the fuck kind of question is that?

Just say I love the Andes.

I just always say something racist.

I go, what's the white one?

What's the one where it's mainly white people?

Appalachia.

Probably my favorite is Appalachia.

It's mainly white people.

So where do you want to go today?

What should we do?

We're talking about London.

So you travel some, though.

I have to.

It's for the job, but I like it.

Yeah, but you go more.

I've talked to your

place.

Let's see.

Your Robin, your Travel Robin.

Who's that?

Sam Talent?

I love him.

Yeah.

He is the best.

Yeah.

We might do a tour of Asia.

It'll make no money.

Yeah.

But I want to do it.

And I want to do it only with Sam Talent.

I don't know if I told you this.

Yeah.

Just because you said Asia and Travel.

Your recommendation in Melbourne for that

picking duck place.

Great.

Great.

Yeah.

Solid.

And they're all from Sam.

Oh, really?

So Sam, really, for the most part, is my Sherpa.

He leads me.

And we've gone now to Europe twice.

Okay.

And we've gone to Australia once.

And he has.

He just researches what to do, where, when?

Well, he's been all over the world and he knows everything and I trust him.

And we have fun.

Like, we were in the south of France and we were sitting eating our Tisseri chicken at a restaurant that was closed.

Yeah.

We didn't know that there were just seats outside.

And then a woman came out with a broom and started hitting us and screaming.

And we ran down the street, me and Sam Talent.

These two big guys running down the street like a cartoon.

And a woman screaming and is hitting us with a broom, screaming in Nice, France.

We went to Noma in Copenhagen, the greatest restaurant in the world.

Been there with Bobby Kelly.

Me and Sam Talent did that.

We went, we performed at Royal Aubrey Hall in the UK.

How did you get NOMA rest?

Oh, come on.

Stop.

We have connections.

We have connections.

We had to get off a wait list.

They were like, we met them that day.

We texted.

Here's what happened.

We actually don't know how it happened.

He texted everyone he knew, and I texted everyone I knew.

And we don't know who did it.

But they called you.

Yes.

We just cast a wide net.

Yeah.

I was like, I texted Maddie Matheson, that chef guy.

Okay.

I texted people in New York.

I texted people everywhere.

Someone got us in.

I don't know if it was a combination of people.

Dinner or lunch?

Dinner.

It was amazing.

It was amazing.

It takes you so fucking long to eat.

But you never have to go back.

Isn't that interesting?

You do not ever have to go back.

I never have to go back.

15 years later, it's closed now, but 15 years later, you'd be like, Let me try it again.

My uncle's in the restaurant business, and he goes, The thing about restaurants like that, and he goes, You know, he would go to some of the best restaurants in New York, and he'd go, It'll be closed in a year.

And I go, Why?

And he goes, You don't have to go back

because there's nothing craveable.

He goes, It's like a great show on Broadway.

You don't have to see it again.

So that's the way I felt.

Where's that?

I think it says no more, but no way.

That's not it.

That's not it.

No, it's no ma.

This is no mo.

Oh, yeah, this is something else.

A lot more sense.

what's this trash yeah that's it it's right there it's the wood go down that's it yeah they space out the tables so you don't have to sit too near people it's getting weird you can get in more people but like that's not your experience you want we went there we went we performed in finland on the border of russia during the ukraine war and we asked to go to saint petersburg to have chicken kiev and they said we're a nato country and you cannot travel to russia and i said why not and they said russia is in a war with ukraine And I said, that has nothing to do with me.

Nothing to do with you.

I'm going, I want to have chicken Kiev.

And they said, we're a NATO country.

I said, no, no, no, you're not understanding.

I'm actually not in NATO.

I'm a country.

And you're not even a country.

And I'm not a country.

I have no stake in this war.

I hope it ends, but I'd actually like to have chicken Kiev.

And then they were like yelling at me in the lobby of the hotel.

So I started yelling back at them.

You should have invaded.

You should have done.

I was not allowed.

My private jet guy would not let me

because I called him.

I go, hey, can you get me a flight into Russia?

He goes, no one will do it.

It's right on Russia.

Dude, it's Ari.

It was 45 minutes away.

St.

Petersburg.

Why can't you do it?

It's one of the most important.

NATO countries.

Who gets this flight?

I agree with you.

There's flights.

No, there's not.

Not from NATO countries.

They're not.

You have to go from here?

No, you have to go to Dubai or Turkey.

Can you do a non-stop?

You can't do anything.

You would have to fly to Dubai or to Turkey.

You fly economy to Russia, right?

Your government was trying to get it.

Why would I fly economy nowhere?

Show results.

They can't even show me the results.

No, no, no.

Are you new to this?

You're not allowed to go to Russia.

But people.

You can go through Dubai or Turkey.

Oh.

You cannot go from a NATO country.

So I was pissed off.

I kind of got an argument with the person

about it.

He's a hotel guy.

Yeah, who cares?

But

he was being mean.

Also, you work in the service industry.

You work in the hospitality industry.

I'm telling you, I want to go to Russia.

I'm a guest.

Make it happen.

I'm a guest.

I have Instant Laurent sunglasses.

I'm trying

to go to Russia, de Louis Vuitton.

I'm trying to go to Russia so I can have a chicken kief.

It's not about politics.

I'd like to apologize.

And that's they're pissed off.

So then, by the way, I had to sheepishly order room service.

So after all that happens,

after all that happens, and I got to cool down and pretend like I'm not the guy that just got in a screaming match for them about NATO, and I have to go, hey,

because I can't have to.

So

I'll have the roast chicken and the potatoes.

Is there somewhere here I can get chicken Kiev?

Hey, anyway,

I decided I don't want chicken at all.

You've been a wonderful help to help me realize that.

We went to Finland.

We went to Sweden, to Stockholm.

We performed there.

We performed in.

I did a podcast with Bobby Kelly about Cuba, and I wanted to get some Cuban beers while we did it.

It was Sean Pat, but I was and I called the Aster Liquors.

I was like, can you do Cuban liquor or beers?

Like, no.

I'm like, you know, I can get some.

They go, sir, there's been a 70-year embargo on Cuba.

No one will have Cuban liquor.

I'm like, right.

Right.

They're still doing that?

They're still fucking doing that.

They're still doing that?

They're still doing that.

Ukraine, that's got to be ended right by the way.

They're still doing that.

I thought Biden's out.

I thought we're done with that.

Silly.

Hey, guys, I'm going to break in real quick to let you know a little bit about our guest, Tim Dylan.

Springtime's in the air everybody it's rebirth it's newness

and what better way to celebrate that spring season than a brand new special

kind of tipping your hat to rebirth tim Dylan's new Netflix special I'm your mother.

That's right, your mother gave birth to you and Tim Dylan's giving birth to great comedy.

Check it out on Netflix.com right now.

I think they're still drop shipping

DVDs to your door.

You can keep it for up to five days and then send it back.

You can get up to three

at any time.

And if they are delayed, if they only have like, let's say, disc two in a three-disc series, it'll send you disc three first and let you have nothing to do with this two because it's

just like it was really a shitty system.

What they have now is actually a lot better.

He's also going to be in Kerry, North Carolina at the Charlotte Improv, excuse me, the Raleigh Improv in May.

Get tickets at TimDillon.com.

And

I don't know.

He just hasn't toured much.

Those shows are probably already sold out.

It's a club and he's a massive fucking theater comic.

God, it's always fun to have him around.

Myself, I'm kind of done with my tour.

I got one gig July 12th in Charlestown, West Virginia, and another gig June 18th in Anchorage, Alaska.

And that's it for me.

Those are my final ones.

So, I don't know, see me around the city doing little spots.

By the way,

don't count on me being there.

If better shit comes up, like a fun Yankee game ticket or something, I'm doing that instead.

I'm not building towards a special now.

So it's 50-50 whether I'll show up in in town.

I'm just telling you, that if that means like, well, then I'm not going to buy the tickets, then don't.

But I will be there in Charlestown, West Virginia in July and Anchorage, Alaska in June.

Also, subscribe wherever you're listening to this podcast or watching it.

Please help me get to 200,000 subscribers.

Also, people are leaving in the comments guest suggestions, which I really like.

And I've been reaching out to a lot of these people, and a lot of them have come back with positive fucking outlooks.

So leave a comment

if you're watching on YouTube.

Hit subscribe.

Try to get to 200,000 subscribers.

Help me out.

But yeah,

who would be good?

Israel Asania, somebody said, because he trained in China, but he has some cool, interesting China stories.

Brittany Griner is a good example of Russia.

People tell me about some journalists that got arrested in Prague.

I'm like, okay, this is the kind of shit I'm talking about.

I'd like to know this.

And anyway, every third person knows who I am.

Sixth person.

I'm not that big.

And then they'll be like, oh, yeah, sure.

I'd love to do that.

It It should be cool.

So please keep sending your suggestions.

If you know any actor, athlete, writer, musician,

who's been to a fun, weird place that you know about, let me know.

Reach out to Benedict Kumberbach.

That's not one that's going to write me back.

He's way bigger than I am.

He doesn't know I exist.

Almost can guarantee you that.

So he's not coming in.

But you know who might come in?

John Ronson, Great writer.

You know who might come in?

Oliver Trees.

You know who might come in?

Bald and bankrupt.

Anyway, please keep doing it.

I'll try to leave a comment saying give your guest suggestions here.

And also keep nominating any episode you see for a trippy.

Best episode, if you see one, since January, not before.

Best episode, best trip, most surprising guest,

best food experience, drugs,

biggest piece of shit.

I'm trying to think where the other trippies were.

Anyway, let's get back to the episode.

I hope you guys are enjoying this.

I know I am every single week.

Tim Dylan gave a very interesting

breakdown of London culture and British culture in general, especially the Illuminati stuff that he's so interested in.

All right, let's get back to it.

But you want to tell me about where London is.

I want to talk about London.

Okay.

I find London to be one of the most, if not the most interesting city in the world.

Why?

I like that, but why?

It seems to be

the

every global trend is converging, and London seems to be the place that all of them are manifesting.

It's the financial capital halfway between New York and Asia.

It's the most expensive city in the world.

People from all over the world hide their money in London.

Oligarchs, chics, you know, dictators,

you know, people.

Kind of like dark history of New York shit that you love.

Yeah.

Seems like it started there.

It started there.

Yeah.

With the royalty, with the dukes and all that shit.

Not only did it start there,

it has grown into something now that is global in scale.

Like

shady people from all over the world are hiding their money in London, doing business in London, putting their kids in prep schools in London to turn them into like proper British gentlemen.

Oxbridge.

All of that stuff.

Yeah.

Eaton, all those schools.

And

all of these, you know,

condos,

homes, mansions, they're all bought

under the name of a company.

You don't know who owns any of them because they don't want...

Some of these guys are like wanted for war crimes at The Hague.

You know what I mean?

Some of them like poisoned a river in Zambia.

Some of them are wanted for like, you know, but you also, London's the city where like Alexander Litvinenko is poised.

The KGB poisons him with polonium-210 over tea, and he withers away in a London hospital poisoned with a like a

like a biological agent, but polonium's like a radioactive agent.

He becomes very pale.

He loses all of his hair.

He dies looking kind of like an alien.

And he's a harsh critic of Putin, Boris Berezovsky, all these oligarchs.

I love Putin personally.

I've defended Putin for years, and all I wanted to do was have chicken Kiev

in St.

Peter.

But no, so all these oligarchs.

Squid games, the end of squid games, season one, whatever.

And where all those like super billionaires come and like, we don't even look at each other.

We don't even know each other.

Right.

It seems like that's all there.

Underneath, though,

these oligarchs flee the Soviet Union when Putin, when it collapses, Putin brings them all into a room in the 90s.

It goes over.

Not the 90s per se.

I forget the exact year, but after Yelson.

That's it.

Get out.

He goes, it's over.

He goes, listen, the way it's going to work now is you've got to kick up to me.

You're going to stop fleecing the country.

And some of those people ended up fleeing.

The vast majority of them.

Some of them came to New York, Brighton Beach,

whatever, you know, sheepset bag.

The vast majority of them go to London.

And the stronghold of like the Russian mafia, which is like an international crime syndicate, it's not only Russians, it's people from all the ex-Soviet republics, right?

Moldova,

Lithuania, Estonia, Ukraine, whatever, like people that are just, they base themselves out of London.

And Putin picked some of them off.

You know, one of them.

They killed them off?

Why?

Because they say something?

Because they opened their fat mouth.

They bought a mink for their wife.

They were challenging his authority.

They were organizing, you know, in his...

This is what they did in Cuba.

They're like, let's get back in there.

Right.

Let's get back and take our ship back.

And he's like, I know you're coming now.

So London is such an interesting place to me because you have this concept of what it is.

And it's like comes from like, I don't know, Oliver Twist or something.

And that's not what it is.

So it might have been what it was at one time, but it's, there's no city to me.

And A.A.

Gill, who's one of the greatest travel writers of all time who died a a gill if anyone wants to read anything they should read a a gill

i mean he's the best he's the guy

and he's a british writer i think he was originally scottish

yeah he was born in edinburgh and he's the greatest travel writer in history and really oh yeah there's no one better than a a gill oh i gotta ask you

okay what should i start with um

condos of the living dead is an article that he wrote for Vanity Fair about the new buildings they were building in New York and how

they were selling all of these condos as a lifestyle.

And it's one of the funniest things that

is ever written because he writes about the transformation of New York City into a global corporate hub that's very kind of unremarkable and the architecture just being kind of glass and very corporate.

and yeah that's what it is you know and he writes about it and he does it in a way that

um you know that very that like an outsider can do and he's coming from london and going we're ahead of you guys in this we've seen it we know what's happening and you're you're just turning your city into a clearinghouse for billionaires from europe and the middle east berlin now And that's what they're doing in Berlin and Europe.

So London has kind of gotten all these trends first, right?

Right.

It's become this playground for wealthy

criminals, a lot of them.

Interesting.

Billionaires, but also

people that are like incredibly dangerous and incredibly like, you know, shady.

And another great article, if you want to read, is about this 19-year-old dude who was thrown into the Thames River.

And because he was, you know,

he was pretending to be a Russian oligarch's son in London.

And he got into this crazy world of crypto.

Oh, i can't remember this yeah and he was pretending to be this russian oligarch son in london because all around him is like the trappings of wealth and he's like i'm like a humdrum guy i have to lie it's like the italians are like i'm connected and people are like all right better not with him because what if he is until they find out you're not connected right but also italians are uh dumb so what's interesting here

that

um

no but it's i mean what is going on by the way have you been on social media with every all the Italian social media influencers?

No, what?

Like, they're all making chicken pie.

It's too much.

Like, they're acting like this Italian-American culture is this

thing that

people need to hear about.

It's trash.

It's trash.

You're promoting trash.

We know what it is.

I can do a chicken pie.

Anyone can.

Anyone.

It comes from poverty.

What are we doing?

So,

and it's always like somebody who's like, it's always this crazy, like, Italian kids tell their mother I want Brigut.

It's like, no one acts like that.

No one acts like that.

They're doing a fake version of something.

They look at Sopranos the way retards look at Corky.

Yes.

Yes.

As it's like, well, no, we were in that.

I'm like, it was 20 years ago, bro.

Get a new character.

By the way,

the best thing I've ever heard is they blank, blank.

Like the way retards look at Corky.

Just the idea of retards looking at Corky.

But so what I find

but when you go around London are you looking at that or you're are you sort of like

I know people like walk around Paris like looking at the like literature I'm I'm I'm yeah, I'm always like I stay at this place the Mandarin.

It's in Knightsbridge.

It's next to this building called One Hyde Park where they literally screen your mail for explosives

because a lot of the people in that building people want to kill them.

Who lives in One Hyde Park?

Like senators?

No, like

Saudi

people like that.

Yeah.

So and then you walk around Harrods and you see like these women in these like

Harrods.

A store?

Like, Harrods is like the most famous clothing store in the world.

Yeah, okay.

And then you have all these like Arab women walk around in like those burkas or abayas or whatever, and they're all like Gucci and Louis Vuitton.

It's kind of hilarious.

And they're just driving Rolls-Royces and like their kids are in Ferraris.

They have like petro dictatorship money.

Yeah.

And they're just, and they have servants.

It's old school.

Like

wealth beyond any conception.

Like New York, people have money, but like it's just different.

London, it's like that petro dictatorship money, like like

they have slaves, right?

Islands and like you have, you're pretty much the old, like you have serfs.

It's a crazy thing to watch.

And

because I don't see that London at all.

Well, it's a totally different London.

Yeah.

It's a totally different London.

And I'm just interested in it because I've always been interested in

what these people are up to.

That's always what I've been interested in.

I always find them really interesting, really fun.

You've known me a long time.

Yeah, you're always into them.

Even that bus tour was all about that.

That bus tour about them is all about these people.

Oh, you got to do a London bus tour.

I would love to do a London bus tour and be sick.

They already have the double-deckers.

And you know what's interesting?

And the reason I like these people is as we become this really grotesque society where everybody wants to be famous and known, these people kind of don't.

So that's interesting.

So it's like, that's interesting.

And they always have a kid who ruins it by like trying to to say like, hey, hey, we're not known.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There's always a kid who ruins it.

Always a kid who ruins it.

And they're like, we're just trying to quietly stack money and behead people.

We're beheading people.

And then there's always like their daughter ruins it because she like.

poses on a yacht in the south of France or something.

And they try to build up some social media presence.

But like,

these people truly, in my estimation, these are the people who run the world.

It's not the government and it's not

the people.

It's like, yes, obviously we know who Vladimir Putin is, but like there's a lot of people in Russia that you don't know who they are and they have tons of power and wealth.

And Putin mediates conflicts between those people.

And those are like feuding oligarchs.

And Putin will sit them both down and go, okay, you get this, you get that.

You got to work it out.

Everyone's like, well, that's money.

Stop.

And, you know, we tend to know about like Mohammed bin Salman.

We know about

Trump,

we know about the leaders of these countries, but we don't really know about the really wealthy, powerful people that prop up.

Now we start to know more about them because Elon Musk wants to be famous.

Yeah.

So we're like, oh my god, everybody, it's like, wait, what?

Like, you have how much?

Are you doing what?

Like, he's coming out of the shadow.

Like, some of these tech guys are just coming out of the shadows because they're fully embracing, I'm a super villain.

I have a spaceship.

Fuck you.

It's

not shown.

Yeah.

They want to be known.

Once you start fucking

rappers or whatever.

Make no mistake.

There are fully human traffickers sitting somewhere looking at Elon Bezos going, they have no class.

They have no taste.

Truly.

Think about that.

There are evil.

You're showing your shirt off.

Evil.

There are evil genocidal monsters sitting around going, why are they doing this?

Why are they behaving like this?

There's a code.

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It's so funny.

Class is like an interesting thing where it's like at the fat black

last night at the fat black, not the bar, the other one, there was just these four drunk idiots with their gay.

They're all hags on the gay.

Right.

And they're just screaming.

And I'm like, okay, so the class there is way lower than whatever, but like they're declassing the rest of this crowd.

Right.

I'm like, you're in New York.

Right.

Have some fucking class.

Yeah.

Don't be drunk.

No, people are monsters.

But what makes yeah.

You brought up an interesting point about how London is no longer what it's kind of selling.

This happens in a lot of places.

Like Haight Ashbury is a great example where it's like the beaten is like, it ain't that.

No, it's it's it's Zara's and whatever, and like rich tech bros, yeah, yeah, but they're still Austin.

Keep Austin weird.

Austin hasn't been weird in about 15 years.

Yeah, it's not weird.

Um,

so like London is kind of that too, pretending it's this thing, this sex pistols haven't when it ain't.

It talks, it speaks to this other trend where people don't necessarily

have an allegiance to a nation state, they have an allegiance to their class of people and their and the financial architecture so these people feel at home in London or New York or Aspen or Riyadh yeah but they don't care like yes are they from Saudi are they Muslim sure or are they from Israel are they Jewish yes or they from New York and they're fucking wasps whatever who cares But really what it comes down to is the ability of them to move their money around the globe and evade taxes and manipulate democracy and put their people in power.

That's way more important to them than any landmass.

Yeah.

Except Israel.

They do seem to be that.

They're beyond price.

This is a connection to it.

They do.

I will say one qualifier is they do seem to care about that much.

No, no, no.

It's not saying that they don't care about the country.

Yeah, they're beyond country.

Like Facebook is like, we're not American anymore.

We just make money.

We're just going to change laws, places.

Yeah, I mean, a lot of these people will hide their money in all these different countries in case they fall out of favor with the ruling class of the country.

Yeah, it's almost silly to be only in one country.

It's like being in one comedy club.

Like, but then if you're not, Donald Rumsfeld and all these guys, they had places in South America, a lot of them, because they were like, if, if, if, if it ever gets out, what we did,

if it ever gets out, let's go somewhere

where we have armed guards, the Bush family, all these people, they're like, if it ever comes out, and if they ever turn on us, because you could make a case that any of them were war criminals, and all, by the way, way.

Not any.

All.

All.

And a good case.

Yeah.

Okay.

But again, Putin, I'm all on board.

You're great.

No disrespect.

I started costing.

Actually,

no,

here's the thing with Putin.

Killer, sure, has class.

That's class.

Has that thing that those people didn't at that bar at the fat black.

Yeah.

You know, those women you saw.

He'd wear a suit when it calls for a suit.

The man walks in in a suit.

So what I find really

interesting or fun about this stuff is that it's also quite comical because you have to look at the world, I think,

as kind of a weird,

you know,

deeply funny and tragic place.

And I do think

some of this is really, really

amusing.

In what way?

Because you, you know,

seeing a bunch of Saudis drive these Ferraris up and down London.

And just drop them off of the airport.

Yeah, and into this building of glass boxes that's pretty unremarkable.

And it's actually ugly compared to all the other buildings.

You buy somebody.

And pay $200 million.

There's no class.

There's no like...

No.

There's no like style or

pay like $200 million for an apartment in this building.

That's like soulless.

That's soulless and just

there to stash money and hide money.

And, you know, and it's not only them, it's people from all over the world.

It's people from Europe and Asia and whatever.

And it's not, it's just funny.

And Russia is huge in London.

These people are

a lot of them are incredibly morally compromised in ways that are just very funny.

Like it is very funny to think about growing up and being taught, like, work hard, be honest, and you'll get places.

And then, in actuality, it's actually the opposite.

I met one of these, I met the kind of like in the in that case, it's kind of the opposite.

Like, it's not the opposite in all cases, but the people here that I'm talking about are among the most, like, these are international crime families.

It's funny.

I met one of them at the, at a UFC, like some chic, whatever.

And I'm like, I didn't know the history, but they're like, oh, this is a sheik.

He owns this and this.

And I was like, and they're like, and I'm like kind of shaking his hand.

I was like, is this one of the slave owners you guys are talking about?

Right.

And they're like, yeah, I'm like, why are we being cool with him?

Yeah, well, here's the thing.

What are you going to do?

No, I'm not going to do anything, but I'm not going to go out of my way like these guys spawning over him.

He's probably a nice guy.

He is a nice guy.

But at some point, you go, hey, I got plenty of nice guy friends.

I agree with you, but I don't know.

And also, I know.

I don't know,

Red Line.

No, no.

It's not mine either.

It's McDonald's.

It's not mine either.

If you eat McDonald's, we're out.

If you own slaves and don't eat McDonald's, I'm still okay with it.

I am not for slavery, and I would not have a slave.

Bullshit.

Okay.

Bullshit.

On both counts, you're right.

Okay.

On both counts, you're right.

Dude, let's take race out of it.

Let's take race out of it because that's what catch people.

So it's not based on race, it's based on height.

Yeah,

I mean, it's with force.

Yeah.

You would get them.

If it was socially acceptable and they'd be like, all right, we're all going to get them.

But if I went to Dubai and I said this on my show the other day and everybody was like, oh, it's all made by slaves.

I'm like, okay, but I'm still going to to just compliment some of the buildings.

Yeah, exactly.

You know what I mean?

Like, I don't know.

What do you want me to do?

Lead a revolution?

I can't change it.

You want me to lead a revolution right now?

Or do you want me to have breakfast at the four seasons?

If I went to the Qatar four seasons, I wouldn't be like, I can't believe you let Hamas stay here.

I'd go, the pool's really nice.

Yeah, it's like, eh, I wouldn't, but it's up to you.

It's not my job.

Yeah.

What do you do in London?

What's your like, you get there, you stay for a week or two?

I stay for as long as I can.

I mean, it's never two weeks.

Do you go just for gigs or do you go for just fun?

I go for gigs.

I've gone for fun.

I have some friends there.

I usually split my time.

I'll go to a show.

I'll go compare it to like New York.

I'll go to a show in the West End.

I'll go.

Broadway, Tesla.

Yeah, is it as good as New York?

And to be honest, it never is.

What?

It just never is.

Their theater is not as good as American theater?

It never is.

The terror of failure in this country makes people better at what they do.

I'm being very serious.

Say that again.

Just knowing that there is no health insurance if you get kicked off the show.

Just knowing how hard, like the brutality of it, and I'm not saying it's right.

I'm just saying

they don't have an Audrey McDonald who's killing

in Gypsy right now, maybe the most talented woman in the country.

They don't have, they're very good.

Don't get me wrong.

They have great stuff.

It's not New York.

It's just what it is.

And they'll tell you that too, by the way.

They'll tell you that.

You know?

Jazz Butterworth, who, you know, the the ferryman, which was a huge player,

yes.

This is

the prison in gypsum.

By the way, look at that.

The evolution of Ronald McDonald.

Look how terrifying it was.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

That's crazy.

This one is the wildest one.

Hold on.

I like that one with the hair on the side.

It looks like Sideshow Bob.

This, yeah.

Yeah.

What the fuck?

That used to be Ronald McDonald's.

Hellahawked Nightmare.

Whoa.

Haunt your dreams.

What?

Oh, Oh, my God.

That's like a caricature, though, they make fun of me on.

Right, they made Ronald McDonald a hat.

They made him a Jew.

Yeah, they made him a Jew.

A hat?

Is that what they call them?

The hats, yeah, the hats.

Wow.

Tiny hats.

But I go to my friends and

I'll sit down with them and go to like, because they live in these little flats.

Yeah.

And they sit there and they complain.

It's a very British thing to complain.

It's very raining.

It's rainy all the time.

And

they're kind of always, they're never enraged, but they're never happy, which is what I find I like about them.

They always have gripes.

And it's kind of passive aggressive.

They have gripes.

Oh, there's construction, this, that, oh, the Olympics.

They're doing that.

Yeah.

You know, it's a, oh, it's so crap.

You know, the building I work in, they just moved.

It seems like very built on that.

There is, I'm trying to say, negative, but there's a positive type of negative where it's like, let's talk shit about somebody.

Yeah, it's kind of gripes.

It's mad.

We're just like.

And it's shit talking.

It's anticipating.

Yeah.

and it's a shit talking.

Yeah.

It's a shit talking.

For me, that the experience that I have there is kind of like fun shit talking.

And

they all

give a fuck about America or not?

Or like, how much does it enter into their minds?

I got to be honest.

They care about celebrity.

Like, America is just, this is what they think America is.

Yeah.

It's just this launching pad for the most famous people in the world.

No one's as famous as Donald Trump, Kim Kardashian, Taylor Swift.

Like there is no one in the UK outside of the Royals and even the Royals who are as famous as the people.

So their culture has been completely somewhat polluted by our mega celebrities.

Wow, yeah.

So they think of America as a place where

really, really, really famous people exist.

And they think of it as a place where everyone has a gun, everyone's eating poison, everyone's working themselves to death.

True.

Everyone has a 12,000 square foot house and a big SUV and no one can afford it.

They tend to believe that everyone.

They read the reports.

They hear the stereotypes.

And they go to the city.

They hear the stereotypes, but they also have a very, at least in my estimation.

American culture is the default.

It's like the dollar is a reserve currency.

American culture is like the reserve culture.

That's why you see those British comics and they go, well, I got to make it in America.

You see the ones that sell the O2 Arena four times.

They have.

And then they're like, who the fuck is that?

Who's that?

And that bothers them a little bit.

Of course.

They have their big brother.

They have their celebs.

They have their reality TV and stuff.

There are San Diego.

Yes.

There are San Diego.

But they don't have the Taylor Swift.

They don't have the,

you know.

Wait, is who's the biggest?

They don't have

Bunny, no Drake.

They don't have...

They have Boris Johnson, but think of it.

Boris Johnson, nowhere near Donald Trump.

No, he's in his shadow, really.

That's what I mean.

Like, a lot of their people are kind of a less

famous version of the people that we churn out.

Yeah.

So we still have the, you know,

like.

David Beckham, fuck off.

Amy Weinhau.

Half of these are dead.

Paul McCarney's been forever ago.

Taylor Smith.

Justin Bieber.

What does Justin Bieber have nothing to do with it?

Canadian?

Exactly.

But what are we talking about?

Wow, that's interesting.

Okay.

It's not.

So we dominate in that regard.

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kind of as charged as they are here, like emotionally.

Interesting.

That's on the right.

They're an old country.

People there don't expect to be millionaires.

They don't expect to start a business.

They don't expect to be an entrepreneur.

They are more, there is more of a reasonable expectation of life.

I don't think, you know,

I think it's more,

in some ways, it's more rational.

There's a class system there that they kind of like believe in.

Transcending class there isn't easy.

It's hard to go from somebody with...

Because they also have the high blood, I call it high blood and low blood accents.

Highborn.

Yeah, where it's like Finn Taylor, if you know him, he's got this high, highborn accent.

Right.

And then you have to say that.

And so you just take him more seriously

than someone who talks like trash.

That's what it is.

So they're very much like you can't transcend class there the way that you can in America.

Like America, as long as you have money for the most part, you can buy your way in.

Yeah.

For the most part.

There's a few enclaves you can't, but for the most part.

Yeah, you can buy your way in.

In Beverly Hillbillies.

In the UK, you can't.

You really can't.

They will not let you into their society.

Somebody Jimmy Carr wears a suit so he can pretend to be born like that.

I don't know.

I don't know.

You know, he's a mega celeb, so

there's certain, I think he'd agree with me, and I think like about

England in general is like proximity to like the royal family and people like that

is their

Hollywood.

Right.

That's why Megan Markle was like, oh, she didn't understand.

It's like, no, that's the deal.

These people pay for you to live like a fairy tale, but you have to give them access into every part of your life.

It's like Chapel Rowan goes, well, I don't like people stopping me in the airport.

It's like, well, go back to working at Wendy's.

No, the deal is you make $40 million, $50 million this year, but people are going to say hello to you.

I love that.

Hey, Megan Market.

I love that idea.

I was like, beat it.

I'm not at work.

Well, listen, good for her.

But it's not realistic.

But here's the thing.

You know who's really not at work?

People who work at Target.

They're never at work, except even when they're at Target.

So when you are one of the most famous people.

People at Target, like when they're with their friends later, like, hey, when's the new launchers coming in?

And they're like, dude, shut.

I don't want to fucking talk about this.

Yeah, I bet they are.

I bet some of them do.

But I mean, and I'm not shitting on anyone that works at Target.

I'm just saying, like, if you want privacy,

there's ways to get it.

Being one of the most famous singers in the world and they're going, by the way, I don't love that this job comes with all these other things.

Meghan Markle, oh, they want pictures of my baby.

The fucking prince?

Bitch, yeah.

Yeah, you married.

You knew what you were doing.

You dated him.

He was already mega famous.

You didn't just fall into something else.

That was the other thing.

The royal family's money, the taxpayers pay for them.

Yeah.

Right, right.

They go away.

They pay for them.

They go away and don't take anything.

You're the oldest reality show they have.

They're paying for you so that they can fucking pour over every little thing.

This is so much different than Danny Brown's episode of London.

Probably.

So much different.

It was all just the purity of the drugs.

Okay.

But that's the strength of the show.

That's what I always wanted to do.

What do you eat when you're there?

You go to nice restaurants?

What do you eat when you're there?

Indian food, the curry is amazing.

God damn, it is.

It's the best.

But it's everywhere.

That's another thing.

They go, British food sucks.

I'm like, no one's eating British food.

It's also like British food list.

And here's the thing.

There's a few things that are good.

But they have their few things.

Brick roast, English breakfast, things like that.

You know, Hesson Blumenthal is a genius.

He's got his dinner at the Mandarin's Great Restaurant.

The Fat Duck or the Brand Ducker, one of those fucking pubs he does is great.

British food's great.

Not British food.

I'm sorry.

Indian food in the UK is great.

Chinese food's really good.

I don't know, man.

It's a global city.

I feel like it's like New York.

I feel like you can get anything you want.

Yeah.

I think you can get anything you want.

I think here's my other hot take.

I don't think

any of these global cities are that different anymore in terms of like cuisine.

You could go anywhere for it.

Even French cuisine, you can get it everywhere in New York.

It's in Paris now.

Cut it out.

It's fine.

It'll be good.

Is it New York?

No, but will you go?

Will you spit it out?

No.

No, but

it starts at South.

Somebody from Italy moved to Paris and made great pizza.

Dude, I had an empress.

I was at some like almost like borderline Amazonian town.

There was some old Italian guy that moved there.

And it was like, this is great.

Yeah, it's no longer a thing.

In fact,

you know, I think that, you know,

it's one of those things that, like, now Glasgow is not a world-class city, so the food's terrible.

Ubiquitous spoon is great.

Where?

Glasgow?

Okay, like one or two places but on average it's gross yeah because everyone's on heroin i'll give you that and when you're on heroin and you're stabbing people you don't need and by the way this is great this is great hit image on the food

like the the the dude just hit gallery maybe

oh they just won't even but that's the best hotel i love that fucking hotel dining there we go yeah so that's pate that he makes look like an apple you can't hate hate that.

Wait, no.

I'm telling you.

Wait, that's not chicken liver pate.

Meat fruit.

It's a meat fruit.

Oh, and that's just the bread to eat it with.

Correct.

Listen,

it's different than a burrito.

You're paying for presentation.

Well, why wouldn't you?

It's just a whole different style of food.

It's not even like...

Yeah, burrito is a third world food.

I know.

That's why I don't, that's my example of like, why would this ever be expensive?

This is never, there's no reason to pay for it.

it for $30.

It's dirt food.

Pate is not dirt food.

No.

And he's doing it.

Why would I wait?

I mean, by the way, I'm sure Luke Calley is great pizza.

Why would I wait in line an hour and a half for pizza?

I don't care what it tastes like.

Pizza is a food that's good because you can get it.

It's accessible.

Wow.

Look at that.

I mean,

it's even got the shine on it.

This is what I mean.

Are you kidding me?

So what?

Colonialism, empire.

This is good.

How much is this?

I don't know.

It's not that much money.

You don't look at prices anymore, do you?

Well, no, I will, but I just, I can't off the top of my head recall it.

By the way, me and Sam Talent, and we had a few other friends, a few other comics that were UK guys, we all had dinner there.

Not crazy.

Okay.

No, Mature, not that crazy.

Not that crazy.

No, no, no.

Here's the thing.

When you leave New York and LA,

you start realizing you're like, oh, we're getting robbed.

Like, dude, in ways you can't even imagine.

Well, people go like, oh, London's too expensive.

I'm like, I live in a more expensive place.

Yeah, no, dude, we're getting robbed.

And, dude, the eggs, Cotswold,

Google the Cotswolds right now.

What's the Cotswold?

It's this area that Ellen just moved to because she's doing a seance with a necromancer to try to raise an army of the dead to come at Trump.

The Cotswolds.

Now, this is a storybook village where people like Ellen have fled to be with kind of other white lesbians who have a relationship with Satan.

Really?

Yes.

What?

Don't.

All right, don't don't second guess.

What?

Okay, fair.

Wait, she moved there to be away from all the fucking haters?

Because Trump is in office and she's a beautiful.

You know, she like.

Oh, I love it.

It's not because we ran you out of showbez.

It's because Trump.

It's because she used to crucify her interns, and she was trying to teach them lessons.

She'd string them up.

Stigmata through the, you know.

Now, so now, so this is where people live to LARP.

Like, dude, if you want to go to the Cotswolds right now, now, by the way, go to homes for sale in the Cotswolds.

I'm not even kidding.

Oh, okay, this is fun.

You can buy a fucking house.

I'm not even kidding, dude.

In the Cotswolds.

I'm not even kidding.

Yeah.

Like,

I don't know which is the one.

Seville's is probably good.

Where's Seville's?

Right down there.

It's the third one.

Okay.

Just go down.

Yeah.

695.

That's about

a mil.

By the way, look at this.

1.4.

Look what you get.

Look what you get.

You live in like a store.

Look at 1.4.

Wow.

You live in a manor

for 1.4.

Look at this.

You can click.

There's more photos of it.

Probably.

Yeah, the arrow over there.

1.4.

1.4 pounds.

So that's 2 million.

So what?

Look at this.

Norman bought his first condo here for 600 grand.

That was 10 years ago.

Right.

And it was a studio.

Dude, I have a condo here for 2.7.

It's nothing.

It's like, wow, look, look at this.

And it comes with books, flowers.

Damn, this is fucking nice.

So they all live there now.

It's like they're like, a lot of people are moving to this area now

because

this is where celebrities are moving to pretend they care about diversity.

The whitest place in the world.

Do you know about when the monarchy was in their vacation homes, their country homes, and they'd cook bread all all day interesting and then throw it out because like we want the smell of baking bread because we're like countrying right and they go sweet but like i'm not eating a bunch of bread chuck it like can we give it they should just give it to some like

vagabond about them do you believe in the human hunts i was reading this book about belgian belgium where they would like have these children run through an area and then elites would hunt them and kill them Do you believe in that?

I don't know.

I think maybe it's true.

Look at this yard.

Human hunt.

I love it.

Well, here's the thing.

They would get like poor, well, poor children from the village.

They're fucking everything up.

You give.

It's like

Jonathan Swift's book.

Feed the Irish Peasants Should Feed Their Poor Babies to the Rich.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So what I'm thinking about.

What the fuck?

All right.

Think about this.

The only one is a fire pit.

This is crazy.

This is what I mean.

Yeah, that's your yard.

We're sold on this idea that everything is so crazy expensive it's really not look how insane that is that's the english countryside by the way that's in the backyard that's in the that's not even in the spring do you know how amazing that looks in the fucking spring so you just open up your gate back here and then just wander out you just wander out in those big boots those shoes big boots the wellies and you and you just wander around and you know you you kind of like just kind of have a cup of tea and you know kind of talk about hitler you got to wear a sweater inside that's about

let's see if we did good.

You know, I'm just starting to see now is because I so don't care what policies, I'm trying to see what Trump does, how he does it.

Yeah, and I'm like, he's so good at distracting by saying something kind of just like look, Gulf of America.

Does that affect anyone?

Like, no, you know, like, what a distraction that is great.

I got to start doing that.

Yeah.

As people are coming at me about anything,

just say something wild that they can fight on while they're ignoring this main thing.

Yeah.

Oh, what a tactic.

Yeah.

He'll be like, Gulf America.

And then he'll be like, there's no more blackboards in schools.

That's out.

He's like, that's not a problem.

I would definitely go for a human hunt.

And kids are wily.

Well, this is what I'm saying.

In Belgium, they know they're being hunted.

You'd have to tell them.

Otherwise, it'd be too easy.

Well, here's the thing.

Here's the thing.

And I don't want to bring everyone down, but I think they rip and kill them.

them first.

That's what they say the hunt is.

I'm just looking at these properties going,

you kind of get it.

Not that you would do it, but

it's acreage.

What do the royals do?

That's not good.

No, this is not.

Do Belgium, Google Belgium Castle, Human Hunt?

Because there is a castle.

where they hunt humans

or used to

Yeah, it is.

There it is.

Chateau de Amoi.

So now, okay, so just go to that Wikipedia.

This castle is supposedly where they had the human hunts.

What?

Okay, whatever.

I don't know.

The main approach to fire, blah, blah, blah.

During the patrol of German soldiers commanded.

Come on, come on, come on.

What I want is the fucking hunt shit.

You got to Google human hunt.

Yeah, okay.

Because they're going into the architecture here.

That's not what we want.

We want humans being hunted.

Not that we want it.

We want to know about it.

I mean, I love if they still have their old style.

I don't think they do it anymore, but who knows?

Why would you stop?

It's a great question.

The untold story.

That's it.

This is what it is.

It's called the Mother of Darkness Castle.

Wow.

I think we should go there.

Yeah, I'm down.

They say it's super little fun.

We can do an episode about this.

Write the whole thing off.

It's a tax write-off.

Wow.

Oh, I got a...

I got a...

Okay, well, there's a.

The Untold Dark Sword.

Wow.

So this is what.

Whenever I read about royalty, I wonder how dark and bad it really is.

Because you'd think.

Without any rules.

No rules.

It's not like you have to go to

hunting humans, but

you might dabble.

You might.

It's like, let me rule it out.

People just start going, you know what?

Sunday is wide open.

If you guys are doing it, Sunday is wide open for a human hunt.

You ever hear Fitzsimmons joke about getting blown by a dude?

No, I think it's him, but he says he got blown by a dude and uh, he didn't like it.

And people are like, Oh, okay.

He goes, No, no, I didn't like it.

That's hilarious.

He goes, You're guessing that you're not gay.

Right.

I ruled it out.

Hilarious.

What are you scared of?

That's so funny.

That's hilarious.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We can try hunting human and then be like, I don't know.

So I'm just, I'm just, I

wonder.

Yeah.

I don't know.

It's hard to know.

It's drafty in London.

What else do people know about it?

Here's my favorite things.

Those little towel warmers in every fucking bathroom.

They're gray.

We don't get those here.

Yeah.

It's drafty.

I don't love the draft.

Well, the weather sucks.

The weather sucks, but it's like

it's not drafty here.

Well, here's the thing in London.

I think you have to, you have to.

You have to just develop a different constitution.

Like you have to just start wearing like wool and knit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Your face is kind of red all the time.

Yeah, in this house, you are wearing

wool.

You're wearing like wool.

Yeah.

This one.

Yeah.

You're wearing just wool around the house, take out the garbage.

You're wearing wool in here.

There's a sweater.

All these tendencies.

You have to figure out like

where you want to go because you can't, because you can take a quick train ride to Paris and all these places.

You can't stay in London all the time.

It's like New York.

It'll drive you crazy.

New York has Florida or whatever, or maybe out east on Long Island or fucking wherever.

People do go crazy here when you're like, hey, when's the last time we left?

You got to leave.

Like seven months ago?

You got to step forward out and then like at least.

So I think with London, it's like you got to get out of certain places.

But that's one of the cool things about London is you can

leave your apartment at 8 a.m.

You can have lunch in Paris at 12.45 and be home in time for the fucking nightly.

What are you worried about in terms of are there

good questions?

Yeah.

The bleakness of the weather.

Bleak.

I'm a sun guy.

It's not sunny.

So June to June to September, I think I'll be great.

It's barely sunny then.

It's just never sunny.

Worried about making friends?

Yeah.

I have deep old school friends here, so I don't know.

I know I have some.

You will actually be fine on that count.

Comedy helps.

Comedy helps.

You just go in and just like, are you guys going to a diner?

Can I come?

You'll be fine.

Yeah, okay.

Also, all my friends are like, I don't know if you get this.

You're younger than me for sure, but they're aging out now.

They're starting to breed.

They're starting to move.

Like Jay, they're starting to move away from Manhattan to Rosa.

It's like, you know, it's interesting.

What's happened in my scene?

Well, I think that it's changing.

There's two things that are happening.

Number one, people are getting older.

Number two, people are just not

people are.

The pandemic really made people into home bodies.

Yeah, it really did.

People really now are like, you know, they have 5 p.m.

to 12 midnight raves.

5 to 12.

Instead of 10 to fucking.

You know, literally, like, you'll hang out with someone now and you go, when do you want to hang out?

And they go, what about noon?

And you go, noon?

Like, 12.

They go, yeah.

And they want to do a day hang because by 8 p.m., they want to be home and by 10 p.m., they want to be in bed.

It's crazy.

And I remember being in comedy in New York at like 2:30 in the morning at Veselka, laughing and shitting on Khan.

I can't believe this one got Montreal.

Yeah.

So do you think that's still going on with a younger generation?

I don't think so.

It's the prices of rent have

I think some of it's going on.

Yeah.

But I think a lot of it is

they have, they're all like, oh, your video is funny.

It's really different.

They all go up to each other and go, dude, that video you did was super funny.

And like, so I think they film a a lot of shit, which is cool and they make a lot of shit.

Yeah, but there's nothing the hang doesn't seem to be.

We hung out without

we hung out because it was, we had the benefit of there was nothing to do, there was no pods.

There was nothing

and there was no like strategy, like we weren't always strategizing about just get ahead, hanging out with you at this at the old stand.

We used to laugh,

we used to try to be really, really funny, yeah, and laugh.

I remember it was be like Yamanika and you and me, and the Norman or Soda or like Jay and Christine.

All these people would be coming in and out

and we would have a lot of fun and then people would go to that diner or they'd go to Veselka or earlier on people would hang out at the creek in the cave

and people would smoke SIGs in the back at 3 a.m.

We'd be smoking SIGs in the back creek in the cave.

Laughing.

All I remember from the first eight to nine years of comedy was laughing uncontrollably because I was around all these people that were so funny and we were all just being, I remember Joe Liz

making me laugh.

So hard ones pretending we ordered dominoes.

You know, Rebecca was doing this whole big dinner and we told her we ordered dominoes and she started screaming.

It was clearly a joke, but it was just the fun, like things that were just so funny.

There was just funny times that I feel like now we're getting older and now it's different and now people are more, it's all digital.

Now it's like, dude, I saw the thing you did online.

And that's how people become friends.

Yeah, it's weird because it's different.

So, okay, I'm worried about those two things.

Missing people here.

Yeah.

The draw, I guess I'm worried about dropping off about comfort podcast visits and then like that'll be fine.

Yeah.

I'm excited about new streets and new restaurants and fucking, and then little day trips to Portugal and fucking.

It's going to be the coolest thing in the world.

Yeah, and I'm excited about crowds fucking not knowing me and hating me.

Will you do Edinburgh?

I'll go back to Edinburgh for sure.

It's way easier from there.

Right.

Although, yeah, I wish it wasn't in the fucking summer.

It's like

I love the summer.

I hate having to miss New York summer or London summer to go.

When are you leaving?

Are you missing this summer?

This summer I'll be gone.

Right.

We'll be traveling.

Yeah.

What would you ever go?

You'll visit.

I'll visit a lot.

Yeah.

I got to

a guest bedroom that you can look at and go, ew, no, but let's begin.

I'll probably stay in a hotel, but

I love a long walk.

I love, because I like being nosy and like.

Are you less famous there?

Oh, yeah.

That's great.

Dude, for sure.

I mean, no one cares.

But, you know, every now and then somebody will come over and go, like, hey, man, I'm a fan.

Yeah.

But it's not like a thing.

But I was walking with Shane in D.C.

and it was like, it gets annoying.

No, he's massively fan.

Yeah.

I'm like, come on, we're walking.

But I suppose we're, you know, if you've gone to dinner at Rogan, it's very nice.

I know it's like there's Navy Seals everywhere and everything.

It feels like we're eating in

Tel Aviv.

I'm like, what are, is there, is there going to be an air raid siren?

You know, like in the middle of it, and I'm like, zooming in.

Are we eating live humans?

But I think you'll love it there.

I think it'll be,

I think it'll be a lot of fun.

Yeah.

And new.

I think New York's changing.

New York's changing.

I think New York's changing.

I think it's still rad, but I'm having trouble.

And I think it's a good thing.

I think it's becoming a place for like billionaires and anxiety-ridden 24-year-olds.

When I saw, when I saw, I got to be honest with you, I go to Florida and I want to hate it.

I just have fun.

People are just really fun they're chill that's the thing about especially tampa and central people are fun yeah there's something about new york tamp

it just feels less fun now it's the money is a problem it's expensive you know

it feels less fun yeah you know

but it doesn't mean it's not it might just for the new kids coming in it's like they're i bet it's them they make it what it is they make it what it is and when i talk to the gutter punks who used to be squatters in the fucking 80s and 90s they're like oh it's all ruined i'm like oh well we have a different

relation to it.

Yeah, I think London's rules, it's fun.

They're way into like soccer, the actual real name for it.

Yeah.

Yeah, food.

And like, I like the casual, you don't drink, but I like the casual pint.

Yes.

Let's meet up for a beer and move on.

They're all alcoholics, but they space it out better than here.

Yeah.

Well, the pub.

is such a cultural thing.

Yeah.

And,

you know, it's a culture there.

And if they've lived for a long time, we're a young country.

They're not.

And they've been around a long time.

Their expectations are more realistic.

Their country is not thriving right now.

I think.

What do you mean?

I mean, the way they talk about you can't say anything, people put you in jail.

I'm like, that's got to be fake.

I hope that's fake.

They didn't say that about us.

Yeah.

I think what I mean by thriving is like, I think it the same thing is happening kind of everywhere.

Things are just really, really, really expensive.

And people are

feeling like

they don't have a stake in it anymore.

They feel like they're like an observer.

And I think when you do that to people, they tend to adopt pathological behavior, whether it's political radicalization or drug use or whatever, when they feel they don't have the ability to make progress, that they're just outside of it.

Watching the

drugs do what they do.

And watching, you know, kind of like all these giveaways to the uber rich and even to poor people that can managers manipulate the system.

But like the people that work hard don't feel like they're getting ahead.

I feel like that's happening all over the place, not just there.

And I feel like there's got to be a way to make it

fair

or more fair.

Nothing's ever going to be fair.

Yeah.

There's got to be a way to make it.

So there's

at Edinburgh.

You've never been.

Never.

Okay, but for the fringe, I mean.

But there's the free fringe is awesome.

Yeah.

Because it doesn't let the 23-year-old not attend.

They can't take a chance on a 12-pound, $18 ticket on somebody they've never heard of.

Right.

They can take a chance on zero.

But what's cool about it is you have people in your stature.

Yeah.

And then these 23-year-olds can come.

The 23-year-olds laugh and give you one pound.

And that makes the rich people have a better time because they're around the youth.

Right.

They'll have a better time.

And I'll give you a 20.

Right.

Because, you know, and so overall it works, but they're included and they're vital.

That's the thing.

I think you got to make sure that people feel like they have a stake in what's going on.

And that's a great example of it.

How do you make people feel like they're not losing ground?

Yeah.

And that's not going to affect you or anyone that's visiting or even living there for a few years.

I think it affects people that are living their generations and trying to raise kids.

And, you know,

they also just did this rule, this non-domicile rule, where if you earn money in kazakhstan or italy or somewhere else you have to pay uk taxes on it so a lot of people are leaving the uk for a a country that is a better tax hat just giving up their citizenship yeah wow 10 000 millionaires have left the uk because like usually has just bill that's what happened to california yeah

well we'll raise money by taxing the billionaires like we'll just leave people left so people are leaving now that doesn't mean that everyone's gonna leave and that they'll the big you know somebody who was smart told me in situations like that that, millionaires leave, billionaires stay.

But the problem with billionaires is that they don't care, their kids aren't going to school.

It's like they just buy a bunch of shit and then it's empty.

It's ghost buildings.

Like, so you just have ghost buildings all over places.

And, like, but I think you'll love it.

It's what neighborhood

would you live in?

What neighborhood would you have me live in?

If you know that?

Um, I would, I told you that Battersea might be interesting.

Don't deals.

Where's Battersea?

Battersea, I don't know.

B-A-T-E.

Yeah, go there.

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

It's way too.

It's

not bad, actually.

That's not far.

Yeah, check it out.

Do image because I have a few friends that live there that kind of like it.

Yeah, that's right.

You show me this parking lot.

It still has a little, it's a little grimy, but it's not.

Yeah, I want some drug dealers on the street.

This is what we talked about.

Yeah, I don't know.

Again,

I'd have to ask friends that know more than I do, but

Battersea.

oops London neighborhoods boom

okay

okay and then let's see this batter C2

top secret

oops 18 minutes

oh

25 25 minutes yeah damn that's the problem it's such a spread out town

yeah but there's a million neighborhoods I like Knightsbridge Knightsbridge Yeah.

Which is just a ridiculous place.

Oh, that's right.

That's way close.

Knightsbridge is sick.

I can take a bike there.

Hit image on Knightsbridge.

That's Harrods.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

That's Harrods, yeah.

That's just.

Wow.

See?

See that cobblestone street?

Yeah.

So that to me is just sick.

You know?

Yeah, that is cool.

I mean, walking down that street with a coffee or on your way to get a coffee with a rolled cigarette.

This is those houses, some of them are $20 million

because it's vertical money loan.

It's fraud.

Will I not be able to afford London?

Well, I mean, listen, you're going to be able to rent a cool place.

Yeah, that's all I want.

But this is what I mean about like people just come in here and you go, like, what?

Yeah, right.

That's you.

I would love that.

Dude, this where me and Ed Brooke were standing in front of the comedy store.

Yeah.

And you were, I think, supposed to be there that night.

It was when Marcella was on.

Okay.

And a Rolls-Royce pulled in front.

Yeah.

And he was like, nice, fucking Tim's here.

Yeah.

Black lady.

That's hilarious.

Yeah.

It's Miss Cat.

And he's like, yeah, it's one or the other.

People, what about moral bone?

I've heard of that.

What about moral bone?

That's where I think you belong.

Moral bone.

I just like saying it.

Moral bone.

Yeah, baby.

Okay, it's in west.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's pretty normal, Loken.

What's up?

People don't take pictures of actual shit.

Look at this fucking loser.

That's your friend.

Is there any part of you?

Let me ask you another interesting question.

Is there any part of you, any part of you, that thinks you go there, you live there for a month and go, absolutely not?

Because I'm always wondering

if in the back of your mind, that's an option.

I'm not going to beat myself up if I hate it.

Not in a month.

Not in a month.

It's going to definitely be over a year.

You'll make it a year.

Probably two.

Two?

Yeah, I mean, let's say I'll hop around looking for neighborhoods and then I find a place like, all right, now at least a one-year rent, and I'm too Jewish to leave around.

I'm always wondering if you just, if there's any part of you that would go and in a month go, you know what?

It's just not what I thought.

So, you know what will stop me from doing that?

Yeah.

Embarrassment.

Right.

So I left my old place on

12th, the backyard.

I don't know if you ever went there.

Of course I did.

And we had the parties there.

Yeah.

It was great.

So Duncan was coming.

Yeah.

And he was coming to, he goes, well, I just went to Airbnb.

He's moving to New York.

And I was like, drop drop that.

Come stay at my place.

I'm leaving.

Right.

He goes, sweet, with his old girlfriend.

And I gave him the keys, called an Uber, and I said, enjoy, stay here as long as you want.

Leave the keys inside or drop off at the station.

I forget what I said.

And then I left.

And I got to Myanmar.

The second night, I was like, this was a huge mistake.

I've got to go home.

And I'm like, how will I be able to face Duncan?

and say what a quitter I was with this lofty.

He was like, I'm so proud of you.

This is so cool.

And I'm like, I loved it.

And if I go back, all that, this is so cool.

Go away.

So I'm like, well, I have to go live in hiding.

Maybe I'll go to upstate New York and just wrench an Airbnb and act like I'm in Southeast Asia for like two months.

Yeah, I just, I wonder, it's embarrassing.

That's the only thing.

I'm not going to think about that.

And by the way, I don't think you'll hate it.

I'm just always wondering if in the back of your mind, because here's the thing, here's what's interesting about London, right?

I find it fascinating, interesting.

It's like a 30-minute walk to Top Secret.

Yeah.

I think it's fascinating, interesting, amazing.

All the things about it are great.

The communities are interesting.

I got to be honest with you, it's a black box to me in terms of if I'd like living there.

I don't know.

Right, right, right.

Because there's a difference when people come to New York.

You're vacationing.

Try living here two weeks in.

Austin, too.

When you get to your eighth day in Austin, which I've done, you're like, oh, this is the same people in the same green rooms, the same fucking restaurants, the same fucking.

I'm like, this is,

I would need to have a different vibe in the world.

I always go like this.

I always go.

Four days, even.

There's a part of me that thinks I would love it.

There's a part of me that thinks.

London or Austin?

No, London.

London, okay.

Austin.

Okay, okay.

I'm sorry.

There's a part of me that thinks I would love it.

There's a part of me that worries I'm a little bit of an American.

And even though I don't want to admit it,

there's a part of me that thinks I'm a little bit of an American.

And that would make you not like it, or that make people look at you weird?

No, not people looking at me weird.

I just might

be too used to America and to reprogram myself

at 40.

Yeah, I don't know.

You're an outside dog.

Yeah,

just suddenly be inside.

My friends are crazy people.

There?

Here.

Oh, right.

Yeah.

All of our, everyone we know, I know people that are worth hundreds of millions of dollars and people that have no money.

And all of them are crazy.

You ever go to like a place with a friend, a comedian friend, or a regular friend?

And you're like, this fucking idiot is going.

And they're like, hey, dude, there's kids around.

Where the fuck are you?

I'm just wondering, do I go there and do I realize, oh, I'm an uncivilized, boorish animal who lives in a circus and now i'm like completely

like in in a in a place even the johnny rottens of of london the current version of that is still has a class that we oh my god like different than us not better or worse but it's different they'd be like well i've never done that i just wonder about now by the way or i live there and i go oh my god i'm happy and i'm never coming back I'm actually happier here.

I feel better here.

That's other things.

But I mean, she's, you know, I love Michelle, but she has a life.

I just wonder if I'm too American to live in a non-American place.

Here's what I like about America, okay?

I like the idea that everything, whether it is or not, seems possible.

It seems possible.

It seems possible.

My aunt said she was big, like, you know, conservative, rah-rah.

She's like, this is still the only country in the world where you could show up with $10 in your pocket and become a millionaire.

She's not.

I hadn't heard that since I was a kid.

She's absolutely correct.

That's retarded.

I know, but I respect you.

You will die in a day.

I know, but people need to die in a day.

That's a different thing.

Let's hunt the kids.

Let's hunt the kids by a day.

No, no, no.

Your aunt is a great woman, and she's absolutely right.

But now, listen, she's not right for everyone.

Dude, it's so funny.

She's the aunt that, like, whenever I do conservative stuff, she'll call.

I saw you on talking.

That was great.

Nothing.

Here's my issue with London.

Nothing seems possible.

Wow.

It seems impossible to get to get too

noticed in the entertainment business.

It doesn't seem like you're going to make a shitload of money.

No, you make less money.

No, it seems like you're not.

It's very.

London's a major tour stop for me.

I get a kick out of the idea.

I'm like, I'm going to promote my comedy special on Megan Kelly.

Yeah.

I'm going to drive to Granite, you know,

drive, you know, beautiful home.

I sit there and like, I grew up watching her on TV and now I just promote my special there because I have a show on the internet where I talk shit, and she has a show, and there's no, and why not?

Why not?

Yeah,

nothing in that country seems possible.

Wow.

Unless you're a lord or you know someone or you know the right people, it seems very, very, very, very, very, very, even in Edinburgh.

Even the way to get ahead is to win an award there, it still seems like only the cool kids are invited to.

Why do I care if what your review of me is?

Yes.

But the reviewer is like, well, you're a popular system.

They have this archaic system.

It doesn't matter.

They have an archaic system based on theater.

Yeah.

I go, what are you talking about?

None of them are on the internet.

They've rarely heard of it.

They're starting.

They're starting.

They're starting now, Ari, 2025.

Congrats.

My main issue with it, because now after I've built it up, let's tear it down.

Let's do a good episode.

Go up, go down.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

My main issue with it is that it doesn't.

I feel.

I love Pierce Morgan.

Okay.

I feel,

I just think I like him.

I like his thing.

I don't know what it is.

I think it's fighty.

It's fun.

People blame it for Diana's death.

It's like, listen,

does everything have to be a problem?

She'd be dead anyway.

Agreed.

I think there's a,

I don't know if I could get into

it

because I think

it's about accepting where you are.

And that's not you at all.

You've never been that.

That's not me.

You were a fucking salesman in Long Island, and now you're a fucking debutante.

I wouldn't say that, but now I'm pushing into corners of the world that people are not welcoming me in, and yet I'm still pushing because I've modeled my life after a genre of movies in the 80s where homeless people would go to country clubs

and you're in long-form trading places.

Yeah, and that's kind of this shit to me.

I don't like a game you can't play.

Yeah.

I don't like a game you can't play.

London feels like a game you cannot play.

Interesting.

So that might be okay for me because I don't want to play the game.

I'm not comfortable and I've gotten ahead, but I hate playing it.

Yes.

And I just wish they'd assign me a position.

Interesting.

You may find that you're more of an American than you think.

Yeah, probably.

I'll know what I now miss about being an American when I'm there.

You might find you're more of an American than you think.

Yeah, yeah, you're right.

You know?

Uh-huh.

You might get there and go, oh, so this is interesting.

I like it, and I find it interesting, but there's a weird class snobbery weirdness that I just can't fully, or you might find none of that and find that it's all overstated, and maybe the comedy community is great, but I think there's a lot of, it seems it's very regimented over there.

I mean, the stand-up, drug use, these talk shows

that they do.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, the panel shows.

The panel, and that you sit there on the panel show.

I'll get your quip in.

I got to be a quid for your quip.

Oh, that's a good show.

We should sell that to the UK.

A quid for your quip.

A quid for your quip.

It's just a panel show.

We're copying all the other panel shows.

That's the pitch.

I just think there is a possibility that you go there and you go, it's a little antiquated.

They're still on television.

They're still doing television.

They're still getting a reviewer to write a review of a one-man show that they wrote about getting misgendered at a fruit stand.

Yeah.

They're still doing things that we haven't done in 15 years.

You ever see Kraftwerk playing their first gig in Germany?

What's it called?

Kraftwerk.

They're like early Electronica.

Okay.

And they're playing this.

Berlin is a super like cutting-edge stuff, but they hadn't heard it before.

No one's heard it before.

And they're just like sitting on the floor, like going like this.

You're like, that's not the dance that's going to be settled on.

But they're just like,

how do you, what is, how do, how do you analyze this?

Right.

I'm hoping that's what I do for London.

Remember best week ever?

When was

2012?

Best week ever.

When they brought it back.

Oh, yeah, they brought it back.

Yeah, right around 2012, 2010.

Do you know what I mean?

Like, it just feels weirdly archaic.

Panel shows and

reviews and festivals.

I think it'd be interesting.

I want to hear from you because you might go, hey, you're totally wrong.

I might hate it.

I'm excited to get left out of political conversations.

I've told everyone in my life, right, left, and center, that I don't care and you're boring me and it's actually offensive to bring it up when I keep telling you I don't care.

Right.

And they keep doing it.

I'm hoping they go, I'm like, how does parliament work?

And they go, we're not catching you up.

I don't think it'll be that.

I think it'll be like,

I think it'll be like,

wait, what?

Like, I think you'll, you'll start to go like, wait, wait, we're supposed to go on mock the week.

You know what I mean?

That is just, I love the 90s.

Yeah, I think you'll go like, oh, this is comedy in 2010.

Right.

Oh, you remember this?

Yeah, I think you'll go, oh, yeah, this is comedy in 2010.

Like, you audition for a festival.

You do a show that people write about.

You have to, the bookers got to like you.

The people have to like you.

I mean, maybe it'll be like a reminiscing thing.

It could be reminiscing.

It could be great.

It might be good.

And by the way, maybe I'm observing it from an outsider.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Do you ever see a comic friend get a sitcom and you're like, what are you doing?

It's like, I'm on the sitcom.

I'm like, okay for you, man.

That sounds fun.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I almost like pity them.

But, like, if you've wanted that, I don't know how it all looks.

From the outside, it looks to me archaic.

Yeah.

Going to Edinburgh and going, I'm doing a show.

And if I get four stars in The Guardian, Edinburgh's dying.

Or The Scotsman.

And then I get to go tour.

And I don't make a ton of money touring.

And then I'm not online.

I make less in London than I make in Kansas City.

Right.

So that you go, and I'm not online really because, like, I don't know.

So then you go, what is it?

And the only famous people seem to be KSI and the Sidemen and Jimmy Carr and Michael McIntyre.

And they're brilliant comedians, and they're great.

Yeah.

But like, I just, yeah, and I just feel like.

You know, the new classes, Adam Rowe and Finn Taylor.

Adam Rowe is great.

I want to do that show.

But I'm just wondering, I could be fully wrong, and I'd love to go there and have you go, you're actually completely wrong, or have you go, split the difference, you're half right, or have you.

Sometimes you're wrong.

Actually, you are a little right.

It's a little like stepping back in time.

Well, so like when I went to LA, we're still the cutting edge of all things in that space.

Yeah, LA versus New York, the comedy scenes.

And was like, well, it can't just be LA.

It's LA versus New York and then comedy store.

Yeah.

Versus LA or New York.

Right.

Because that was a different thing than LA.

Sure.

So if you go to LA, so it might be that when London, too, I'm like, oh, I got to find my crew.

You might want to find the crew.

Yeah.

Every time I go there and I talk to people there, I get the idea that

they are.

They go up at the end of their words.

Yeah.

They're in

a very interesting

place

and it's I recognize it as very similar to what comedy felt like in 2012, 2012 in New York.

You wanted to get on a panel show.

Yeah, late night.

You wanted to get a good review.

You cared what the press wrote.

They were like a real thing.

You wanted like a celebrity to co-sign you on television.

You're trying to do a book.

you're you're yeah, right now in New York is like, what's your new interesting idea?

Yeah, we just get like a story wars, or yeah,

let's go outside the box, and that's like, oh, cool, yeah, yeah, I think that it's very much a formulaic thing over there.

Oh, yeah, fit in, and that's so that's how LA used to be.

Yeah, yeah, this meets this.

That was every time, that's what it seems like to me.

It seems like there's certain venues and certain theaters and certain tracks to be on and certain people.

I'm excited to find out.

I'm excited for you to find out.

Yeah.

I'm really excited.

Buddy.

Thank you.

Once again.

Watch the special, please.

When does this come out?

Who knows?

As soon as possible.

I got to come out.

Tuesday, April 15th.

No, it's out.

It's on Netflix.

Tuesday.

That's already.

It's tomorrow, but whatever.

I'm just saying.

It comes out now.

What's it called?

Yeah.

Well, I'm your mother.

It's on Netflix.

I'm your mother.

Go watch it.

I put a drop in early in the episode, so don't worry about that.

Oh, great.

Yeah.

But that's exciting.

They're finally, well, not finally, I guess the other time too, but they're like,

yeah.

It's just like there's a few people that I'm sure you've heard this before who said, okay, if you're not going to take me, I'll do my own thing.

And you do the own thing so well that they're like, actually, can you please come here?

And then you go, okay, yeah.

I didn't do it well enough for London.

That's my final phase being accepted by British aristocracy.

Yeah, like just a bunch of red face people,

my people.

Yeah, shut the blinds.

And I'm Irish, but I'm willing to kind of side with the crown.

Like a real dubliner.

Well, yeah, it's like, hey, you never built a building over three stories.

I'm going to go with the crown.

I like it.

Yeah.

They have this thing on Ireland that it's like it's all rolling countryside and hillbillies and rednecks.

Yeah.

And then they're like, you know, we have a tech sector.

Yeah, but you know, do they, like, we talked about that on our show the other day.

Google, if you want, just as our final, just pull the other as our final thing, Google, Google, Google ireland and i'm going to show you their tech sector

okay

hit image no google no google google ireland ireland google literally write google after

now

hold on

there there is there is a

there is a picture here which i don't know if it's here right now but there was on my show a like old landscaper yeah and he's just this old irish guy like

just Google headquarters, maybe.

And like, he's just like

doing,

and he's like, he's like doing the, just maybe hit the Google headquarters, go to the right, hit that Google, yeah,

and see what else comes up.

Because there was just a photo of this old Google, this old guy, and it's like, there's no decisions being made in Ireland.

There's not one

important decision at Google being being made in Ireland.

No way.

They're just there.

Zero way.

Zero chance.

They're like, hey, so what does Malachi think about this?

Hey, does Rory have any thoughts?

That's pretty much who's running it.

There it is.

All right.

Well, thank you.

Yeah, buddy.

Everyone, watch that.

What's it called again?

I'm Your Mother.

I'm Your Mother.

Netflix.

Is that part from a bit or just on your own?

Okay.

Yeah.

It's fun to do a title of like, what one line for my special?

One line.

I wanted something else.

They wouldn't let me do it.

They wouldn't let you?

My son's pussy.

Why wouldn't they let you?

I don't know.

I love when a company.

It's the same thing we're talking about, Hate Ashbury.

Yeah, I'm thankful they put me on this.

It goes from Norm McDonald going, can I call Hitler's dog?

And they go, yeah.

It goes, really?

And they go, buddy?

Right.

We're here for the artist.

You can do whatever you want.

We're supporting you.

Right.

Like, oh, nice.

I love Netflix.

Yeah.

You want to keep it under 70 or we'll make sure no one will watch it.

Thank you.

Thanks, buddy.

I appreciate it.

Yeah.

Well, everybody, that's the episode.

I hope you enjoyed it.

I know I did.

Tim's always fucking, he's so consistently good on podcasts.

He's always ready to fucking go for it.

And he has outsider ideas that are like, no one even thinks about the stuff he's thinking about.

It's pretty interesting.

Go check out his special, I'm Your Mother, on Netflix right now.

I'd say leave a comment, but Netflix does not allow comments to be made.

Myself, again, get tickets at AriShafir.com for Charlestown, West Virginia, July 12th and June 18th in Anchorage, Alaska.

Those are my last dates until 2027.

Let's read a couple postcards before we go.

People are sending these to Ubi Trippin, carer of Ari Shafir, 151 First Avenue, number 49, New York, New York, 10003.

Also, I got to tell you, by the way, subscribe wherever you're listening.

Today's episode was produced by Your Mom's House Network.

It was edited by Alan Caffey, expertly as always.

By the way, Alan, if you're listening to this, that thing you did in the Dragos episode with some fucking gypsies doing gang signs behind, you zoom in, that's the kind of shit I'm talking about.

I love it.

I love that.

Zooming in on fucking Andrew Schultz's butt when he was

farting.

Yeah, that makes it better than just fucking watching it.

Good job, guys.

My YMH crew is fucking rad.

And by the way, they helped with the storytelling show, helped produce it.

The end.

And what a great team to work with from the top to the bottom.

Any comic listening, if you're looking to actually produce a show,

YMH is your jam, you guys.

Also, I'd like to get, well, let's read some posts, guys, but I also like to give my tip of the week, my recommendation of the week.

I'm going to keep doing these.

I fell off for a little bit.

Something great that I see that I'd like you guys to know about.

This This week, Valerie June at Town Hall.

God damn, she's good.

What a fucking.

I mean, I've listened to her albums.

One in particular, the one with just the all-white with the long hair.

She's wild.

I mean, she's barely holding on to reality.

She's legitimately speaking a different language than we are.

Like,

crazy town.

But she holds it together just to bring in these like fucking beautiful songs.

Rocks hard.

The whole setup was great.

oh anyway anybody can see valerie june on tour fucking go see her she's

i mean i'm listen i know what i am and i get too uh um

connected to fucking the arts but i was bawling like four times like like shake bawling

just goddamn a great fucking show

I mean, I would definitely see her again.

Okay, let's read one.

Where the fuck is this from?

Do you see that?

I see a fucking stamp.

The fuck does that say?

Let's see what it says.

Oh, wait.

It's right here.

Frank Gehry, the Foundation.

The Foundation Louis Vuitton is a perspective to Spruce Hardin.

Maybe it's France.

Hi, Ari.

Bonjour from France.

I should have just read the first line.

I should have just read the first line.

About 15 years ago, I left the US

for the first time.

Your Skeptic Tank episode with Rolf.

Two ups, he only has one.

Is that right?

You misspelled it.

I was right.

Was one of the most informative, inspirational pods to me at that time.

Thanks, man.

Yeah, that Rolf fun we did in the park, four plus hours in the park of the Skeptic Tank.

Just sat there and talked about travel.

Me and Rolf, when we talk about travel, we just keep going back and forth and hitting each other with new ideas.

Rolf, Rolf, you got to come back before I'm gone.

So we have that time.

Since then, I've made a point to get lost for as long as possible every year visiting Paris.

It's the 27th entry into my ever-growing net of exploration.

Well written.

Thank you.

Here's what I do, by the way.

Two new countries every year.

Two new countries every year.

If you listen to the Paul Morrissey episode,

by the way, I hope you guys understand at this point,

the podcast you know about, Tim Dylan, notwithstanding right now, the guests you know about are not going to be the most interesting stories.

Julio Gallarati,

Mike Cannon, even,

Rolf Potts, Zayn Jareski,

the ones you don't know about, trust me, I'd bury them if they weren't good episodes.

Except Adrian Appalucci.

That was a terrible episode.

I was

Portugal.

It was good.

What'd you do?

How are the people?

Fine.

Thank you for your positive service, good sir.

More soon.

I'll be in Armenia and Georgia this summer.

Love Tara Ann.

Well, Tara, let me make one comment.

Your handwriting is that of a man.

You have terrible handwriting.

I can generally tell a woman's handwriting.

I was surprised that it said Tara Ann at the bottom because I was positive this is a man sending this.

I do two new countries every year, with the exception of the COVID year.

I only got one country.

It was Ecuador, but all of November and December

I was there

and then into the next year.

But I got two countries that next year also.

Every other year, minimum two, average, probably two and a half to three.

And it makes me go places.

It makes me go like, oh, shit, I only got one country.

It's December.

I have nine days off from doing gigs.

I got to run somewhere.

So, in that, in those instances, I've hit Dominican Republic for eight days.

I've hit Guatemala for 12 days.

I hit French Polynesia for like four days.

People are like, You went to French Polynesia for four days.

I'm like, I had to cross something off my list.

I did New Year's Eve there.

Did the Ecuadorian tradition of that?

I'll cover that in the Ecuador episode.

I also got to get some more people interviewing me.

Sal, come in.

One more.

Set this to 151 First Avenue, number 49, New York, New York, 10003.

Mount Monaslu.

Nepal.

Whoa.

Whoa.

I'm in the process of redoing this.

The Patreon is done, everybody.

Oh, I've got to get.

Okay, I've got all the submissions.

We're done with submissions.

I'm going to narrow them down for the trip around the world.

Ari Shafir is sending someone on a trip around the world, ish.

Eight to twelve months, depending on how much you spend.

And I'm narrowing down the list.

We've got about 20 qualified candidates, and I'm going to narrow it down from that.

The patrons from the Ubi Trip and Patreon

got it together.

We raised that money, and we're sending someone around.

I don't know who else does it, besides the Mr.

Beast type people.

But for the people who are in a regular, legitimately, I looked it up, average economic place for their age.

Slightly below average, to be honest.

I give up a lot, a lot of money.

I'm fine with it.

But

I own my own car.

Hey, Ari, big fan.

If you need a long trek, if you want a long trek with Tibetan Buddhism and great vibes,

Sum Valley Monaslu trek is the way to go.

I had a bastard.

I use Nepal Eco Adventure Guide Company.

Love from Antonio from Australia in Nepal.

Damn, bro.

Look at these Nepalese stamps.

Look at these Nepalese fucking stamps.

Pretty fucking cool.

And that's the address you can send it to.

151 First Avenue, number 49, New York, New York, 10003.

Pretty fucking badass.

Well, everybody, that's the episode.

Next week,

Fearless and Far is coming in.

Mike Corey.

And a really, really great one about the dark continent of Africa.

Went to the Congo.

I mean, I'm telling you guys, subscribe and also hit the reminder button.

There's a reminder button on YouTube.

That's a great episode.

And it's coming next week.

And I got to him, legitimately, from your suggestions on YouTube comments.

And man, it worked out.

I mean, did the wildest fucking stuff.

And we were talking about hunting alligators for food

and trade and just like warlords and fudge.

I like this podcast.

There's a difference.

The H.

Foley was like, I went to Greece.

I believe it.

I rented a car, which is great.

And these guys go to places who are like, I would never go.

That's crazy.

It's crazy.

You could die and you should have died.

And also,

not fun, but also hell of fun.

So tune in next week to Mike Corey.

Fear and

Fearless and Far is his YouTube stuff.

And check out Tim Dylan's special, I'm Your Mother, on Netflix.

Until next week, everybody.

Wait, how did it?

Cheerio

from Merry Old England.