The GREATEST Comedies of All-Time w/ Judd Apatow | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

100%.

It sucks about like writing a new hour is, I'm assuming, totally different than writing a new movie where you just go, like, you get an idea and you go, I'm inspired, let's fill it out. Yeah.

Whereas opposed to you get a new hour and you're like, especially where I'm at, I'm dying to talk to you about this. But

especially when your life changes and you're like, okay, now I got to write comedy and I'm a new person. Yeah.

Like, that's,

you know, like who's this? And is this a funnier version?

Like I've been talking a lot about how I think at this age, your comedy, it gets really harder to do because all your jokes become about decay.

You know, like my kids have been out of the house for a little while now. And so all fun stuff is about being young and trying to meet girls or like getting married and having babies.

And as soon as like your kids are like fully out of the house,

all your jokes become about like,

isn't diverticulitis funny? Like everything is about injury. It's like diverticulosis.
The first stage of diverticulitis. Yeah.

Yeah. I had a joke about my colonoscopy.
No, your whole act is just about that. And so, and then you're like, is this just a shitty stage of life that no one wants to hear about?

And then should you not talk about? Like, you know, oh, I did, I did a rant that was, I should do an intro. I got to do an intro because I feel like, I feel like people sleep on how much you gave us.

Okay. All right.
This is going to take some time. This is

what you're about to read is more like a

mental breakdown. It is.
Can you name your movies? Yeah.

For real? Yeah. Can you think you can name them all?

Yeah.

Go ahead.

No, I'm curious how accurate you'd be. Like from the very beginning? No, no.
Well, I start with.

I always feel like Cable Guy. Yeah, but there was one before cable Cable guy.
Heavyweights. Heavyweights.
Celtic pride. Celtic pride.
Yeah. 40-year-old virgin.
Fun with Dick and Jane. That's right.

Knocked up.

The Hills. What's that one? I never saw that.
That was just a short film. Okay.
A friend of mine. Walk hard.
Yeah.

You don't mess with the Zohan.

Pineapple Express. Funny people.

Hold on. These are just as a writer.

There's a producer list. There's a producer list.
Social producer list.

Pop star, never stop, stopping.

Never stopped, never stopping. Never stop, never stopping.
Train wreck, anchorman, anchorman two.

Get him to the Greek.

I mean, year one, Pineapple Express, Step Brothers, forgetting Sarah Marshall, which one? Super bad.

Like, do you ever feel like, and I'm just wondering. Stopping.
Just stopping.

No, do you ever feel like, like, when you see a negative comment online that you want to write back, hey, man, man, you meant to say thank you?

Well, I, you know, I'm always, you know, talking to, you know, my kids and friends about anybody can find the most vicious thing about them at any time of the day or night. Yeah.

You know, Tom Hanks right now can go online and find the most vicious attacks. I mean, him, maybe more than anybody, because it just chuck him into conspiracy theories and things like that.

So, you know, the discipline it takes not to dip your toe in those waters

because I love the idea of talking to everybody and mixing it up with everyone.

But, you know what, in the old days, like I always think that people weren't supposed to like everything because we didn't share everything.

So if you like Metallica, you didn't pay attention to country music. But now because it's all in a big soup, people attack the thing that they normally wouldn't like anyway.
It's funny.

I never, I never thought much about Fugazi. Yeah.

Like, I just, I had never thought much about them. Like, I knew they were a band and I knew that they were popular with some of my friends.

And then last night I got into a Fugazi kick and I was like watching this epic Fugazi picture. And all of a sudden, I become informed about Fugazi and NoFX.

And then all of a sudden, I'm like, wait, maybe I should never have learned about this.

But it's interesting because people get involved in stuff maybe shouldn't, aren't, isn't for them. Yeah, but why wouldn't you want to get involved in it? I have a theory that if you are

almost like it should be state mandated that we take an IQ test and then we get a certain amount of information sent to us by the government that is within our IQ range. Yeah.

That we shouldn't get stuff that is out of our IQ range. Because then you all of a sudden you become this informed person when you really aren't.

You're just regurgitating facts at a dinner party that you never learned. You just heard Andrew Huberman say them.
And now you're saying, here's the benefits cold plunging.

Your brown fat is, you know, and you're like, did you learn that? Or did you read it? Or did you, are you reciting it?

There's a difference between an original thought, I believe, like a truly original thought, and then someone who's reciting an original thought.

And then discerning the difference is wild to me. And what's crazy also in that same breath,

because of those movies you've made,

you kind of birthed a bunch of us.

Isn't that wild? Well, I feel super birthed by the people that I was

in love with. I love James Brooks.

I love Cameron crowe and fast times at ridgemont high and todd salons and nicole hollivcenter and barry levinson and then you know before our movies did did well you know jim carry busted through with ace ventura and things like that and the mask and and i i think all i thought was is there a way to combine like terms of endearment and ace ventura can you do both Can you be emotional and get to hard comedy and have it not be bullshit and have the switch in tone not be be weird.

Yeah, like you've, you found a style where it could be really silly, really broad, but when it goes to feelings, it still feels like it's part of the same movie.

But that's really fascinating. You've done that very well.

In that, in that in movies, in all of your movies, some of them, some of them are just fucking, just like the Duby Cox is just fucking, I mean, it's just like one of the fucking,

there's a new thing that's, it's now going around about him singing a Bob Dylan dylan song where it's just him and it's so fucking hysterical because i and i don't think i saw how funny it was at the time yeah but you really did cut that line of like like forgetting sarah marshalls one of the greatest one of the greatest movies it's uh one of the greatest movie i would say that about so many movies you've worked on or been i mean 40 year old virgin kevin hart scene when he starts this is one of my favorite scenes i've ever seen in a movie yeah was he how much of that was kevin hart and how much of that was you guys

uh an enormous amount of it was Romney Malco and Kevin Hart just going hard. Really?

I mean, I had met Kevin when he was like in his early, early 20s and we did a pilot together with Jason Siegel and Amy Poehler and it didn't get picked up. And I just loved Kevin.

I'm like, this is going to be the guy when he was just a kid. And then

I couldn't break him because it just the projects didn't get picked up. And then he did a bunch of spots on Undeclared and was hilarious.

And then we were doing the 40-year-old virgin and he came in to do this scene. And it was supposed to be Romney Malcolm's emotionally falling apart.

And instead of schmoozing a customer, he starts fighting a customer. And believe me, there's a lot of riffing there.

There's a lot of language there that I certainly would have would not have pitched to the two gentlemen.

But

we used to always do like the extended version of the movie. So we would put out a director's cut.
And I didn't realize you weren't supposed to add that much.

So when we did the extended cut of the 40-year-old virgin, I added 17 minutes.

And so that scene, a lot of people know that scene as this long version of the scene because I added like another like minute.

It's one of my favorite parts of the whole movie. But it's so interesting.

You did happen, you did find a, you did find a way to create, I think what they're doing now is more action comedy, whereas you did emotional comedy. Yeah,

exactly. Now everyone wants things to be like a genre thing, like a superhero movie with comedy.
You know, Barbie's a comedy, basically.

So I keep telling everyone, you know, the world really wants comedy.

All these movies that make a billion dollars, they're basically comedies, but usually with another big genre element, where I was always into, you don't need any genre element.

You could just have Seth get someone pregnant. Like that the smallest things in life is a whole movie.

Just, you know, Jason Siegel, you know, he wrote Forgetting Sarah Marshall just about what if you tried to escape your breakup by going on vacation and she was there. And that's just the whole movie.

You know, I like low concept and I think we're in a little bit of a high concept era now. I think so.
Because there's so much shit. There's so many shows.
There's so many movies.

And so this idea that there can be a subtler concept,

I think they think it's harder to bust through the noise that way.

I don't necessarily agree with that. But to me, just two people trying to get along is enough.
Yeah.

It's

I have so much stuff I want to talk to you about because, and I have a list that Tom sent me of what he wanted to talk to you.

It's all stuff that Tom was supposed to be here, and he got fucking deposed

because of this whole Garth Brooks thing. Oh, he's he's

somehow part of that. Well, yeah, because he was an early adapter to like calling him out.
And so now the courts think that they think he knows something.

Yeah, he was been talking about it for four years.

It's like, listen, if you predict 9-11, even if you have tinfoil on top of your head, when 9-11 happens, they're going to be like, yo, what did you know?

If you were listening to that much Chris Gaines, you must know something.

That's the part you don't know is like Tom was obsessed with Garth Brooks before that this year.

Yeah, no, I know before the whole fucking and when you do a Chris Gaines thing where the world is like, I don't know if you're joking, it seems like you're serious.

It makes you just wonder what's happening in that mind. All right, where do we start? So I want to get back.
I want to start with early you. Okay.

Because I'm, because Leanne told me this story last night. You know, you know, you know, Leanne's obsessed with you.
Like, you know Leanne's a huge fucking fan.

She goes, did you know that he sent a letter to Steve Martin because Steve Martin was a dick? And Steve Martin wrote back. What is Steve Martin wrote back? Wait, what did you write to Steve Martin?

Tell me the story. I'll tell the story.
I always feel bad telling it because it is a perfect story. So I've told it so much.

And I always think it must annoy Steve Martin how often I get asked about this story, but it is a weird, perfect story, which is, I was visiting my grandmother when I was

like 13, and she lived in Beverly Hills. So I went from Long Island to Beverly Hills, and I knew where Steve Martin lived.
I just knew his address. His house had been in a magazine.

So anytime we went anywhere, I said, we have to drive past Steve Martin's house, even if it was out of the way. Just anytime we left the house, let's pass by Steve Martin's house.

And I couldn't believe that he was in there because it was like a cement house. It almost looked like a prison.
And there were no windows or anything. And like, he's in there.

Like the jerk is in that building. And I just loved him so much.
And then one day we drive by and he's out in the front yard.

In my head, he has like a hose and maybe he's washing his car or something. And he's in his, and he's got a dog holding his, covering his dick and a robe on.
He's got a bit of lamp. He's got a paddle.

Yeah.

The remote. But so there he is.
So I grab a piece of paper and I and I jump out of the car

and I say, can I have your autograph? And quite reasonably, he says, No, I don't sign autographs at my house because then everybody will come by my house. And by the way, he's Beyonce at this point.

Oh, yeah. He's Taylor Swift now at that moment.
And so he says, sorry,

I can't sign autographs in my house. And I said, well, will you sign it in the street, which is pretty good for 13, right? And he says, I'm so sorry, I can't.

And then I started begging, like, I'm from New York. I won't tell anyone where you live, please.

And he goes, really? I'm so sorry. Nice to meet you.
You know, I'm so sorry. So I get back in the car and we drive home.
And I'm like 13-year-old furious about it.

And I take out like a legal pad and I'm like, dear Steve Martin,

I am your biggest fan and you wouldn't live in that house if I didn't buy all of your

albums and got to all your movies and bought all your books.

So if you don't send me an apology, I'm going to send your address to Homes of the Stars and you're going to have tour buses passing by 24 hours a day.

and then

i put it in his mailbox no stamp stalker you just put it in his mailbox just put it in the mailbox placed it in there with the red lipstick on the back

now if someone walked up to my house i just called security people yeah you know as an adult you're like yeah this is the last thing on earth you want yeah people knocking on your door especially when you're at that level and by the way No gate.

You know, now everyone's got a gate. Do you still know where that house is? Yes.
It's on Bedford in Beverly Hills. I don't know if it's there.
It may have been

torn down.

But yeah, no gate, no security. So

I put it in his mailbox. I don't think anything of it.
And then like maybe like five months later, like a long time later, I get a package. I open it up.

He had a book called Cruel Shoes, which was funny short stories. And in it, he wrote, to Judd, I'm sorry.

I didn't realize I was speaking to the underlined three times Judd Apatow, your friend Steve Martin.

And

that was in 1980, 44 years ago. So what I always explain to people when I tell that story is,

first of all, I thought I must have made him laugh with a letter. Yeah.

Because the letter was meant to be funny. Yeah.
And he wouldn't have sent those books. if I was just mean because I probably forgot half of what the letter said.
Yeah.

That was, I've kind of reduced it to like three jokes.

So the idea that I made him laugh enough that he would send me the books to me was like, come into my world.

Like you can touch this world. Because, you know, when you're a kid, you've never met anybody.
You don't think you have access. There's no way in to that place you dream of being in.

So I just thought I made Steve Martin laugh. And just unconsciously, maybe the dream is possible.

That's the, I would argue, I would argue that's the hardest part of stand-up is realizing that the dream is possible. Yeah.
Because it's it really seems unattainable.

Even I was at a holiday inn in Tallahassee on Monroe, and I saw

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Dude, on stage, and I was like, how do you become that guy? Now, I look back and I go,

that's a

sad recipe that doesn't work all the time.

Sometimes it's better not to be that guy. Well, it's a, you know, it's a miracle.
I think a lot about

being young. You know, it's very different now.
I mean, you know, pre-internet, pre-cell phones,

not much comedy out there. When I decided to be a comedian, there were maybe 50 comedy clubs in the whole country.
And it felt like there were maybe 200 comedians total.

Like,

that's not so many. I could, I could become a part of that group.
It didn't feel imposing. It also didn't feel like you had a...
a shot at being a big star. It really was just, can I be a comedian?

And that was it. There was no dream beyond that.
And then when I lived, you know, with Adam Sandler after college, now I look back and go, how weird that we thought that we might pull it off.

That there's an insanity of youth of,

I'm going to go to this improv every night. I'm not accepted at the improv, but the manager, if someone doesn't show up, will let me take their spot.

And if there's still people there at the end of the night, he'll put me on at the end. And I did that for years.
I just wait there.

Never got paid for years before I got accepted because Joe Drew, the manager, liked me enough to let me go on stage if someone was late. And you just had that weird belief, like, it's going to happen.

I just have to do stuff like this and be committed. It's funny.

What plan do you like more? Now it seems like there are so many comedians. Yeah.
Or back when you were.

And I think I would relate myself more to your generation because I didn't know you could make money doing stand-up like I knew you could do stand-up and I knew you could get famous I knew those were like things like Tim Allen Roseanne I didn't know the arithmetic of how that worked yeah I did know if you moved to New York and and sadly I was I was like you where I got when I got to New York I saw people doing things like Judah Friedlander got a Snickers commercial where he sat on a recliner at the 50-yard line yeah I remember he's like I got $125,000 for that I was like dude that's that's all that's all the money I want to make.

If I make that, I'm set. Yeah, yeah.
Sam had a Visa commercial where he was like buying stuff to impress a girl for a date. And I think he made like 30 grand, but that was mind-boggling.

I remember getting paid 50 bucks at Eastside Comedy Club to host an open mic night the first time I got paid. And to me, if it ended there, I was good.

Like I just got paid 50 bucks for the thing I would do for free for the rest of my life. I just tried to, I'm going to tell you the craziest thing.

Yesterday, I decided I was going to take $20 million out of life insurance on both my daughters.

I was like, $20 million on both of them. Who gets the money then? Me.

If they die, I get the money. Why not the other kid? No, fuck that.
The whole point is if something happens to them, I want the money because I'm never going to work again. Oh, I see.

So I was like, yeah, I'm going to kill myself at the bottom of a bottle. You'll never see me again.
Don't ever, no more podcasts, no more anything. This is like a dayline episode waiting to happen.

Yeah. Well, they said, number one, you just can't take $20 million out of somebody.

I'm such a child that I was just like, line it up. Have you ever inherited money? No.
And that was my big plan. Yeah.
Like, that was, I was like, I was, I was pretty set on being an heir.

Like, didn't know where the money was going to come from. I was like, it'll show up somewhere.
Yeah. I was like, that was what I'd be best at.

I never had a plan on working. I never thought I'd work.
I never thought I'd have a passion for working. I never knew how to take notes in class.
Like I never understood how to take a test.

I never understood how to study. Like I'd go to, I'd go to study with a girl in college and we'd sit down in the library and I'd be like, what is she doing?

Like, I don't, are you supposed to be reading the book? Yeah.

How does it work? I went and got a brain scan years ago

and

they scanned my brain. And afterwards, I sit down with a guy.
And he's like, you ever been in a car accident?

And I'm like, yeah. Like from behind? He's like, I'm like, yeah.
He's like, you see that little mark there? That's brain damage. And I'm like, well, what would that do?

He's like, well, do you have trouble kind of like processing information? And I'm like, yeah.

Like, do you have like attention stuff? I'm like, yeah. He's like, yeah, it's probably from that.
And I realized like, that's why I'm so dumb.

Because I always joke, like, the reason why everyone is dumb in all my movies, like no character is like a genius is I can't even fake what a genius would sound like.

Like I can't even write a doctor the way a doctor talks. It's always like Ken Jong and knocked up.
Like I can't even do it. You just had to hire the actual doctor.
Exactly.

And so there are certain things like I can't, like, you could explain how a camera works, like the F-stop and the aperture. A hundred times to me, it will fall out of my brain

every single time. So that's why everyone is stoned in all the movies.
It's like, I, and then I'm like, that, that's it. 1992, I got hit from behind.

It's a weird story. I was stoned and got hit by a drunk driver.
I'm driving. We had a party because the Ben Stiller show got picked up, the sketch show.
And so we have like a little party.

I always remember it because it was the night Leno made his first appearance as the host of the tonight show. Wow.

And I'm driving home and I, you know, I never smoked pot or drank, but I did like smoke pot. So I'm driving home and I'm going like 27 miles an hour down Santa Monica Boulevard.

And as I very carefully drive home in front of the police station on Santa Monica Boulevard, a drunk driver going going like 60 miles an hour as I slow down for a yellow light just drives straight into me.

So now I'm

like, you know, I'm on it,

it's like a GTI, a Volkswagen GTI. It is completely accordioned.

And then the car runs that hit me, like speeds off, hit and run.

And so now I go to the side of the street and I'm like, kind of like, oh, Jesus Christ. But I'm also stoned, but also thrown by the accident.

with a traumatic head and injury with it with the yeah and then these people see me and they're like are you okay are you okay and i'm like yeah i'm okay and i don't know if i'm like trying to not act high

or i am freaked out from the accident and they look at me like oh you he must be drunk yeah the truth is i may not have even been high you know who knows but Then the cops pull up because it happens in front of the police station and they go, we caught him.

We already caught him.

Get get in the back so now i got to get in the back of the cop car stoned to find the drunk driver who hit me and they drive me to this car and there's these guys like handcuffs on and they're like is that the car and i'm like yeah

trying not to act stoned yeah yeah and uh smells like it yeah

and then uh i got five thousand dollars for the car you know to for the insurance and my mother stole it from me because she just needed money then so like i'm like did that check come come in she's like no it has to come in

like two years later i'm like how about that money yeah i needed it i had some mortgage bills to pay i'm like i almost died in that car accident and now i have brain damage okay let's let's go back to this chicken and the egg okay

is there

i'm gonna i'm gonna argue that uh that jonah hill

is the funniest actor I've ever seen on camera ever. Okay.
I think he is absolutely brilliant. Chicken and the egg.
Is there a Jonah Hill without Judd Appetal?

Do we get Jonah Hill if we don't get a guy like Judd

who allows him to

figure out how to be a great fucking actor in all these movies? I mean, so it's like, obviously, Jonah is great and was going to be great no matter what.

Would the right opportunity have lined up for him to show? how great he could be and you and you never know because

like just being an actor do you ever get that audition and do you nail the audition on the right day to get the part?

And there certainly were other people when I met Jonah who were beginning to go, who, who is this kid?

So I certainly don't take any credit for that other than as a young person who felt like I wasn't part of the culture in a lot of ways.

A lot of the work I did back then was, how come there aren't people like me in movies or the lead of movies? Like I always thought John Candy should be the lead of every movie. Yeah.

You know, I used to joke, you know, I would, I'd prefer the born identity if it starred George Wendt. Like, that's, that's what I was trying to do.
He was 35 in cheers. He was 35 in cheers.

So there was all these people that were, you know, brilliantly funny. Seth Rogan at 16 was

crazy, but crazy funny, but it was a thing that

would they have done it anyway? No, like Seth Rogan wouldn't have. And I'll tell you why.
This is, and I,

I have to tell you, these, the, the, your children, and I just, and and I put Steve Corell in that group. I put fucking, I put, I put Paul Rudd in that group.

The people that you directed, produced, helped spawn, Jason Siegel, all these brilliant, brilliant, brilliant actors had been in other stuff. Like,

like Seth Rogan was in Donnie Darko and was, did not pop. No one gave him the air to breathe.

And that is the, that is the biggest problem with, with, I think, with auditioning and acting is you don't get directors and producers who go,

let's be yourself. Let's be as wild.
And you gave that. And I use Jonah as an example because in that, in that, like, I'll just say Super Bad as an example.

The scene with him and the teacher, where it was like him just fucking riffing, that is the Jonah Hill we have today. People saw that.
And then that allowed him to become who he is today.

I believe this is me, Burt Kreiser, just as a fan. Yeah.
Well, I mean, I think like

there's always like a ton of people involved involved in that greg mattola directed uh super bad and he had done an amazing movie called the day trippers and we're like what if we got a great director to direct this movie like not like you're

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Classic comedy director. What if we got like a real director? Yeah.
And that raised the game of everybody and the quality of the movie.

But I certainly was a champion of a certain type of person and a certain style of behavior. And a lot of it came from,

you know, I love Diner. Like, like to me, like Diner and Fast Times were pretty big templates for a certain kind of comedy style.
Who did you see yourself as in Fast Times at Richmond High?

Like

the nerd who worked at the movie theater.

Not the cool guy who sold the tickets, like the guy with them.

That's kind of more what I was relating to. I saw myself.

The guy that worked at the fucking, I saw myself as Judge Reinhold.

Yeah, yeah, maybe.

But I think, i didn't even think of myself as cool as judge rinhold i thought he was a dork because he had caught jerking off because he because he had the energy to tell the boss to off and stuff and i never felt like i had that energy i wanted to be i wanted to be sean pen yes yeah i always wanted to be chean penny i mean maybe

i'm trying to think who i related to i mean there are things that i liked that i didn't feel like i was like them i loved john cusack and say anything was it was a big movie i loved welcome to the dollhouse uh you know which is this great todd Todd Solons movie about this girl in junior high school gets like bullied and it's, it's just really dark and funny.

But so, you know, people, I championed people and then there was these huge collaborations where, you know, Jason Siegel wrote forgetting Sari Marshall.

And so the thing that I did is like, I believe in you as a writer, even though you've never written a script, but he was a genius. in what he did.
And that's the case for everybody.

It's more like creating collaborations, like little groups of people. Like, here's the group for Super Bad.
Seth and Evan had worked on that script since they were like 13 years old.

So my main thing was like, this is worth us pursuing vigorously over many, many years. This is worth our time to keep improving.

And when everyone says no for half a decade, let's continue to fight to see if we could ever get anyone to make it. But it's their greatness.

That is the reason, you know, because what I noticed is that in retrospect, a lot of people try to get more credit for these things.

And as I get older, I'm like, no, the best part is that we created these teams and pulled this off, these little families. That was your brilliance is you seem to have this great coach energy.

And I keep getting stuck. Like I was, I was working out this morning, I'm with my trainer, and he said, dude, he's the reason my sense of humor is from Judd.
And I was like, what?

And he's like, all of us, like all those movies we all watched when we were kids, like every one of his fucking movies, he defined comedy at that time.

and i was like oh i forgot and then i printed your list and i was like all of them

like it's wild yeah it's like a mental break you know what i mean because i think you know what happened was no one wanted to do our stuff for a long time so we kept writing as if one day they would and then when one of them hit uh you know the first one was that I didn't work on it, but Old School was a hit.

And Will Farrell was an old school.

And that opened the floodgates and that made them want to make Anchorman, which Will wrote with Adam McKay and Adam directed it and I produced it.

And then because that did well, they allowed us to do the 40-year-old Virgin. And then suddenly all those scripts that we couldn't get anyone to make, like Super Bad and Pineapple Express.

They said yes to all of them. So now it's suddenly we're really busy because we have this backlog of rejected movies.

And then they said, okay, what if we did all of them? And people were so passionate because each one was the person who wrote it's most passionate project.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall was the obsession of Jason Siegel. Seth and Evan were obsessed with Super Bat and Pineapple Express.

Me and Jake were obsessed with Walk Hard. So, yeah, so that's what that run was based on.
It was based on having too much rejected stuff.

And then suddenly the floodgates open. Like, do you want to try to make all of it?

They're still rejecting my stuff. Yeah,

me too. I mean, now it's different.

It's a different time. There was certainly the economics of the industry where everyone was buying DVDs and everyone was buying the DVDs of these comedies.

And so the bar to get them made was much lower. I'm saying this for the listener because

I think the movie industry is, I find it fascinating, but I think it's also confusing.

Like when you say you produced Forgetting Sarah Marshall, what does a producer do to the average person listening? What do they do?

Well, like that was something that

Jason had this idea for a script. And then Nick Stoller, who directed it, said to me, if I help him by overseeing the writing, I'd love to direct it.
And he had never directed before.

So as a producer, you know, I got the script sold. I got Nick approved to be the director.
So you're taking it to the studio. To the studio.

And you're saying, and you have a connection with the studio.

You're saying, do you have a deal at the studio i have a deal at the studio uh which is basically just to show them things i i believe in and so you walk in you you have a connect like a person you talk to probably on a daily basis or once a week and you go this is a script with jason siegel i know you don't know who jason segal is but he's awesome he was in freaks and geeks he's awesome they know him from knocked up at that point oh he was oh yeah he had been knocked up but he hadn't been the lead in a movie and it is one of those situations where because no one knew steve carel when 40 old virgin came out

that in that environment, they were like, oh, people will go see movies starring people they don't know or that aren't big stars.

And so because those movies did well and Seth did great with Knocked Up, they were like, oh, so this is an interesting formula.

You can expose someone to someone new, make a movie at a reasonable budget, and we trust that you guys are doing a decent job, but it's all the script.

And so Jason, with Nick's help, came up with an incredible script. If the script didn't blow your mind, they weren't going to let you make it.
Part of it was it was an incredible piece of writing.

And also, Jason meant it. Like everything he was talking about with heartbreak,

he was being very personal.

And that's why people love it so much because they can tell it's not just a fabrication. It's that these are his feelings.
That's the reason I like him is

And like I never watched How I Met Your Mother. Like I'm I just

whatever movies he's done, the one with Paul Rudd, I loved loved it. I love you, man.
I love you, man.

The reason I like him is he seems

overly sensitive. Like he seems like, he seems, he seems like he probably doesn't go online.

He probably doesn't, like, I just, and I feel like, like, I heard one time about John Candy that he was, Steve Martin was saying he was a very, very sensitive guy.

And he could almost, it was almost a problem how sensitive he was. That is 100% me.
Like, I am, and I'm, and I identify with sensitive people. I can see it in people.

And I feel like that's Jason Siegel. I feel like he's like, like he, he's like,

I don't know. And I think he's got a big dick.
So like, I can't understand why he's like. Where does it come from? Where does it come from?

I mean, that should like kind of balance it all out. I mean, I used to love writing for, for Jason, like freaks and geeks scenes where he was

a nightmare to Linda Cartellini. You know, there's like the scene where he sings Lady to her to tell her how much he loves her.
So he sings Lady or Lady Lady L.

Then he rewrites a song called Lady L about her, like kind of the cringiest, I love you so much, but you, and then where the girl clearly doesn't reciprocate, which is how I always felt as a kid.

Like, I'm trying to show you how much. And they're just like, oh, God, this is a nightmare that you're telling me how much you like me.
And the same when we did Undeclared, this college show.

I remember Undeclared, Kevin Hort was in that. Yeah.
And Siegel would be the long-distance boyfriend of Carla Gallo. And he would always just be on the phone.
Are you cheating on me?

And he could improvise it all day long like crazy long-distance yeah boyfriend is uh james franco is he as funny in person as he is in movies like is that yeah is that a character he's doing or is he really like kind of like goofy funny

you know

he was always very funny you know because we improvised a lot on freaks and geeks and then he didn't do comedies for a while he did a lot of very serious movies he's a great by the way he could i think he could have been our next james dean yeah i was at this film festival and i saw this movie that he directed that was really experimental and hilarious.

And we all hadn't worked together in years.

And I was like, you know, we're going to do this movie, Pineapple Express. Maybe you should talk to Seth about it.

And then they reversed the parts, I think.

That's what happened in Neighbors with John Candy and

John Belushi. And I always feel like it was a mistake, but it worked in that.
Yeah. Well, I mean, I always loved Neighbors.
I don't know if people remember that movie. Corey Feldman's in it.
Really?

A young Corey Feldman. By the way, don't ever listen to a word I say.
I had a teacher that loved me, loved me. He's the fucking coolest guy in the world.

He passed away when I was in college, but he brought up Sam Cook. I go, shot while a woman.
And he went, really? I said, I wouldn't listen to me. I don't know.

That isn't true, by the way. It is, kind of.

I don't think that's what they think happened. No, no, that's what happened.
That's what they framed him. They framed him for that.
They framed him for that.

There's a documentary on Netflix about this. For real? There's like a full documentary about that case because it's a really weird murder.
I know what I'm smoking pot and watching tonight.

That is, I was obsessed with Sam Cook. I was obsessed with Sam Cook because of

Moonlighting.

The TV show? The TV show. That character, Bruce Willis' character, listened to Sam Cook.
And I was like, I want to be cool like him. So I bought Sam Cook albums.

And I put them on, I got tapes, and I would mow the lawn listening to Sam Cook going, I will get into Sam Cook. That's how I got obsessed with Al Jaroux.

Some go by night,

some go by day,

moonlighting strangers.

Wait, that was the song.

He sank the song.

That's the theme to moonlighting. I used to listen to Al Jaroux records as a kid, make out my girlfriend listening to Al Jaroux records.

Then I always felt bad because as I see it knocked up, where Seth and Paul are talking and Paul's like talking about bands he likes because he's in the record industry and they talk about Steely Dan and I love Steely Dan but but Seth keeps talking about how much he hates Steely Dan and Paul's like no no the early stuff the early stuff and Seth goes if if I ever hear Steely Dan again I hope someone cuts my head off with an Al Jarot record

fucking obsessed with Steely Dan uh I love John Mulaney yeah I love John Mulaney when I first met him, I was like, oh, I get it. Like, he's smart.
He's an SNL guy.

He's like, what Harvard kid or what Georgetown Georgetown kid? Nick Kroll, John Mulaney. He's like, he'll be cool.
He didn't drink, I didn't think. So I was like, I was like, never was my speed.
Yeah.

Like, I was like, I'll probably never get into a conversation with him. And he was friends with Amy.
And I was like, but he's funny. You know, I like

nice guy. And then I heard him say, yeah, the reason I don't drink is because in college, I got really into cocaine and Steely Dan.
And I went, I fucking love John Mulaney.

I was like, he's the sexiest comic we've got. No one knows the fucking danger inside that because I've been there.
I'm fucking obsessed with Steely Dam. Yeah.

No, I go down, I go down these wormholes where I watch documentaries on YouTube.

It'll just be like a 15-minute documentary about the guy who did the solo on Peg and just explaining how they recorded the solo.

I find that in these times that are so stressful with the world and hurricanes and politics, the only thing that makes me relax is short documentaries about why rock bands broke up.

You know, here's why Fleetwood Mac broke up. Here's why foreigners mad at each other.

That is my sedative. I'm fascinated by what your Instagram algorithm looks like.
I'm fascinated by what everyone's algorithm looks like. Like what is offered to me.

I'm always hitting that button, stop recommending. It's more the YouTube algorithm.
Oh, I fucking, I don't, I am very precious with YouTube. YouTube is my go-to.
Yeah.

My YouTube algorithm is history, history, history. Really? That's it.
It is. Mine is just interviews with P.
Diddy's bodyguards.

It's just a lot of Vlad TV. Oh, you do not listen to watch Vlad TV.
I'm deep in all of those

shows where they talk to like former bodyguards and, you know, gangsters and Italian gangsters and rappers.

Are you into Vlad TV? Jaguar Rights. You know, I'm going deep down the well of...

I like these long form interviews. You know, what happened at Diddy's party?

I'll do time with that. So wait, are you, are you like a cinephile? I'm not.
You know, I didn't get into it

like movies because I loved movies. I just wanted to be, you know, Jeff Altman or Seinfeld, you know, when I was a kid.

And so I liked movies, but I didn't watch them like, I'm going to study the angles of the cinematography. I just.
I just liked, you know, meatballs and stripes.

And that was it, you know, the

little Serpent Co.. So it took me years later to try to figure out like cinema and the technology of it because I paid no attention whatsoever.
I was just a Ghostbusters guy.

Oh, I always say, like, a long time ago, I put up a tweet. I was like, what are the five comedies that defined you? And his mind were all Bill Murray.

Like, they were all Bill Murray. It was like Stripes,

Caddyshack.

I mean, John Candy, Bill Murray.

Not even John Belushi. And I know I'm a Farley Belushi guy.
Like, that's my, my, those are my, like, my heroes. But, like, man, Bill Murray just

got to find my sense of humor. It's so funny.
I look at so many of my friends, so many of my friends in comedy that are,

that are, that are spawned from your movie. Oh, yeah.

Their sensibility is still,

like, mine will always be Chevy Chase, Bill Murray walking into a bar, you know, with a one-liner, a thing, a drink. Yeah.
I can still, you know, like a little Rodney Danger field to it.

And theirs is still like,

they're still quoting super bad. They're still like, they're still, I don't even think most of them realize it.

You know, I think, I think that's something that we realize because movies were so precious to us. Yeah.
Like they were so big.

In 1984,

the movies in 1984 were the biggest movies I've ever could imagine. I just did it the other day.
I did a post of like the big movies in 1984. I just posted this the other day.

And because the songs in 1984 were fucking epic.

1984, Beverly Hills Cop, Ghostbusters, Indiana Jones in the Temple of Doom, Gremlins, The Karate Kid, Police Academy, Foot Loose, Romancing the Stone, and then Star Trek, Search for Spock.

Compare that to this year.

Right? We pull up the biggest grossing movies. It's got to be Marvel, Marvel, Marvel.
It's, yeah, it's just, it's just a very different thing.

But don't you always think like, but like everybody thinks that, like, every like no older persons, like, uh, in my generation, we had Carrie Grant,

Barbara Stanwick.

I heard that was excellent. Insights out too, Deadpool and Wolverine.
People love Spook Wolf Me, part of the series. Dune Part 2, people love.
It's just very different, right?

It's like big, Godzilla, YOLO, I've never seen it. King Kong,

Glorious,

Successor,

Bad Boys Rider.

It's a very different tone of the lists. Now, say the list again.

The 84 lists.

It's

Beverly Hills Cop, Ghostbusters, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Gremlins, The Karate Kid, Police Academy, Footloose, Romancing the Stone, Star Trek III, The Search for Spock.

Romancing the Stone is out of that whole... I mean, these...
I would say there's a big difference. Charm.

Yeah. I think that those movies kind of, there's a warmth and a charm to them.

Michael Douglas and and romancing this that's one of my favorite movies in the world i think more movies should be made like that

and

he is just like

charming as fucking well there's a lot of chemistry in those movies and also they're lower intensity like everything has just gotten more intense because we're we're in a world where everyone is obsessed with completion rates and pulling you through the show on the streamer so you never shut it off so everything must be intense every second be either turning you on or scaring you or violence so that you won't shut shit off.

You know, things don't calm down.

And that's the whole thing when you hear about shows, like, what was the completion rate? I heard a lot of people just watch for 17 minutes.

You know, oh, people just watched the first four, but they didn't get through all eight of that show.

And we didn't used to talk like that before. It, you know, there was a, you know, a sense of that people had some patience and they would finish it.

But, you know, I've been thinking a lot about, you know, the need for comedy. You know, in the old days, you would wait all week to go see Ghostbusters and you wouldn't see much during the week.

Maybe you'd watch MASH or something, but like you're excited to have that entertainment.

But now, I mean, if you're like just scrolling through TikTok and YouTube, you've seen a thousand of the best jokes of all time.

Like I could just right now look at cat videos and people falling and pranks, and they are great.

Not all of them, but enough of them that it might make you go, I don't know if I need to see a movie this weekend.

Oh, we were so deprived of entertainment. My entertainment was riding my bike around our neighborhood.
Yeah. Like that was my, that was like a, like, I got nothing to do.

I'm going to get on my bike and just ride around the block. Yeah.
And then Indiana Jones is coming out on the weekend.

So what would that mean to you when you've just been circling the block out of boredom all week? And now it's just like the, the, the need for that break and how exciting and exciting a movie was

very different when right now, like at any moment when you're online at Starbucks, you're going to watch a freeway chase and then you're going to watch like an eight-year-old girl play Led Zeppelin on the drums, and then you're going to watch a soldier return home to his family that didn't know he was coming home.

And it's just like, ah, so much enjoyment and dopamine.

Why are you going to watch a stunt with Benafleck and Matt Damon when you clearly can watch some overweight chick try to do a rope swing and eat shit? Yeah. And it's so much funnier.
Exactly.

And then you just go next. It's crazy.
Three of those movies that I mentioned, I did not know a thing about them as I walked into this, the movie theater. Yeah.
Because you can go see everything.

Footloose, I walked in. Eric Nuppel's mom dropped us off in a tan van.
They had a tan van. And I remember she dropped us off and she said, and she said, what movie are you guys seeing?

And Eric said, Footloose. And I said, what is it? And he goes, it's about a town of kids who can't dance.
And I started laughing hysterically, thinking, oh, this is going to be good.

Like, I didn't know, I didn't know nothing about it. Karate Kid, I mean, I assumed it was about karate, but I was at tennis camp.
And it was my first day at tennis camp. I went to tennis camp? Yeah.

Do you still play? I do. Really? Yeah.
Like, how good?

Casual.

If I warm back up, but no, not like

vicious vicious. I got to be, I got to warm back up too.
Do you play with Steve Carell? I haven't played with Steve Carell. I hear that he has like a great tennis game.

I bet he's been been consistent. Yeah.

He looks like someone who practices.

Yeah. Right? Like, he's got a weekly game and he's kept it up.

He strikes me as a guy that I'd have breakfast with him and he'd stare out of the side of his eye the entire time and try to figure me out. No, he's not that.

That's not what Steve is like.

A lot of those, a lot of that side of comedy. Yeah.

I always feel like I rub wrong. Like, like when I see your shows

at

Largo, Largo, I always go like, oh, I'd bother so many people in that green room. I'd be like, I don't think that's true.

It's a funny kind of like thought out there that that is the case, but I don't

have to be teached to by the manager. They'd be like, I understand that you're a thing in other comedy scenes, but here we don't say that word.
And I'd be like, oh, my bad.

But don't you feel like one of the things that's missing in comedy is like when I started doing stand-up, it was like Kinnison and Goldthwaite and Dice was around.

And, you know, and even like crazy crazy people like Lenny Schultz who used to just like throw food in his face they were like characters yeah you know people were like taking crazy chances they were just like more insane people they were more they were like truly insane people like where you're like the scary people where like the the club

there really was danger i think there's so much money in comedy right now that everyone's like trying to manipulate things. Yeah.
I don't like that.

I liked, I, I like, I like the, I like go up there because you're broken.

Yeah. I like that.
I don't know something about that. Like one of the best sets I ever saw is Paul Rodriguez going up on stage like in 1990 and

just looking miserable and was frustrated in his career and just complained for 20 minutes in the most honest terms. It was one of the funniest.
20 minutes I've ever seen.

It was just like, you know, when you see someone like one in the morning,

Dangerfield used to do that too. He'd get up on stage at like one in the morning, wouldn't do the act, and just be depressed.
And

the crowd would be shocked because they think he's going to do Dangerfield. And he would just be like, oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Life makes perfect sense.
And then you come.

And then he looks at the lady in the crowd. He's like, oh, yeah, you'd be different.
You'd love me for me. You'd just love me for me.

And it was so funny, but so dark,

but real and raw. Like there used to be more of that.

I mean, I think before the internet and social media, people would let themselves kind of do things on stage because they didn't think anyone would talk about it anywhere.

And that was different that you could go into a club, do something really crazy, and there was no part of you that thought anyone would ever mention it to you for the rest of your life. Two questions.

You have a show coming up in Atlanta on November 3rd? I have one. Yeah, I'm Atlanta on the 3rd.
I'm doing some hurricane benefits.

I had some shows, so I just made them all hurricane benefits because it's so brutal. So the one in Atlanta, I think it's the Variety

of the Variety Playhouse in Atlanta, Sunday, November 3rd.

All proceeds are being donated to American Red Cross for hurricane relief. And then you're all you are.
Are you doing

the Beacon one? Is that a benefit too? That's a benefit for so the one in Atlanta is for Georgia. The one at the Beacon Theater on the 9th is for North Carolina.

And then I'm going to be at Largo on October 15th for

Florida. Okay, nice.
I'm doing a benefit November. I was supposed to do one Saturday for Tampa, but it got pushed.
So I'm doing mine November 15th in

at Ruth Eckard Hall in Clearwater.

Now it's going to be two hurricanes.

It's crazy.

I'm going to ask you a weird question. Okay.

And we'll wrap this up. I know you got, you have a busy day.
I have nothing to do. Great.

I never wanted to be wrapped up less.

I saw an interview with Bill Gates last night. And they asked him, should we have billionaires?

And he said, absolutely.

And Bernie Sanders says, absolutely not.

And

I wonder to you, like,

I don't know how much money you have, but I'm assuming it's a lot, right? You don't have fancy stuff. Like, that was one of Tom's questions.

He was like, he was like, ask him what his favorite Rolex is. I was like, Tom, I'm not going to ask him that.

I don't have an interest that costs money other than I might buy tickets to see something.

But I don't really, I don't like, like, I, I, I bought a Porsche after the, no, it was a lease. I leased a Porsche after four-year-old Virgin was a hit.

And then it, it drove shitty unless you were going like 80. Yeah.
And it scared me. And I put it in the garage and I didn't drive it for two years till the lease was up.
For real?

Because it just scared me. Like, I, I, because I'd really forced me to go very fast.
It was just not fun to be like 30 miles an hour,

you know, around town. And I don't really drive long distances.
So I'm mainly into like traffic with a stick.

That was Tom's second question. Does he like driving a stick and a Porsche? Yeah.
It was like, he was like, because Tom's obsessed with Porsches. I mean,

I mean, I understand why people like that stuff.

I just, I, I never had that interest, but the idea that I could go, oh, if the Mets, you know, play the Dodgers, I could buy tickets last minute and get in. That's really the only thing.
Car services?

Like

Ubers?

I won't get the cheap Uber. I'll get the nice Uber.
Yeah. Do you buy your own clothes? Like, do I have people?

I would imagine. No, I was assuming your wife.
No, she doesn't have.

that much interest. She'll consult.

But, you know, I think I've worn the same James Peirce shirt for about six years at this point.

He makes great shirts. Yeah.

By the way, this is James James Purst. And by the way, JP is a friend of mine.
Yeah. I DM.
My wife texts with him.

I mean, the amount of JP I'm wearing, the fact that I haven't gotten one free shirt out of him my entire life when I literally don't think I wear anything else.

So yeah, I don't like anything like, like, I don't want to know what time it is. I also don't like expensive things like where you're like, oh, I shouldn't wear this because someone might murder me.

That's a problem that's scary

right now is that

my favorite place to eat they had a robbery uh the people were waiting for the car and the guy pulled the gun and i was like what the i was like so i got to take jewelry off before i go to eat dinner now do you have nice jewelry i like i i like uh i like watches but i don't like every watch does tom like watches

he does is that his thing does the poke up a dick yeah

tom tom got me to watches and i just like getting into

like i love getting into like i like i just got into uh

it's when we talk about music,

I just got into F1.

I never given a fuck about F1. And then all of a sudden, here's the thing.
It's like, if the majority of the world's right about something,

you can't also be right by shitting on it. Yeah.
It's got to be good. And so I got into F1.
Tom's always been into F1. I was like, well, I'm not going to be in.
I don't really care.

I don't watch NASCAR. I'm not going to get into F1.
They've got that Drive to Survive thing on fucking Netflix. Have you seen it? No.
Judd?

Judd? Here's what I'd like to say, Judd. You're about to change my life? I'm about to change your life.
Check out Drive to Survive. Okay.
First of all, it's just like the quarterbacks.

It's like the new one with the wide receivers, the track run.

It's

the live golf guys. You're following a group of guys who, by the way, are beyond passionate about anything.
I think you will understand passion begets passion.

And when you watch these guys talk about driving their life, they're guys that have been dedicated to driving their whole fucking lives. And they're at the top of their fucking game.

And you get to see a slice of what their real life's like, what the teams are made up of. It is fucking amazing.
Judd, here's what I'll say to you. Judd, I want you to get into Drive, Surf, 5.

Just try it out. I'm going to check back in with you and tell you

how it works. And then me and you are going to Vegas to watch F1.

I will buy us tickets. We will go to F1.

So you sit in one place and you just see them go by.

Because, you know, I worked on Talladega Nights and we shot, you know, races. and stuff.

But then I didn't ever really start following it afterwards. Really? I'm trying to think like what like I've warmed to soccer football.
Yeah.

I don't know it well, but I've kind of watched some matches and I did like the tennis Netflix show. We've got to hook up at Netflix.

Why can't we like first of all get I want to I want to get back in the track. I want to be with like I want to see all of it.
I want to smell the cars. I want to smell the oil.

I want to see people passionate. I want to see people's trailers because their trailers are fucking sick.
Judd, we go to F1 in Vegas.

when will you google when f1 in vegas is how many cars does tom have is he building a seinfeld leno type car collection when is it what date is it the one in vegas can you find out

um tom is

uh

i i don't i i think

he would be mad if i told you what he's doing okay so i'll tell you okay he he has he has dug out a basement for cars he has the lifts put into his garage where he can put cars up on things.

Yeah, so I think he has nine cars. Yeah.
He is, I think he does. And those are just the ones he keeps in the garage.
He has a couple more over at his office. Him and Rogan are really into cars.

It's like, I guess you could shit on people into cars, but I'm into stuff, but it's not, it's not really cars. Does Seinfeld laugh at how few cars he has? Oh, I'm certain he does.

Seinfeld's like legit, like almost autistic about cars, right? And then every once in a while sells one for so much money.

Like like he has a he needs room so he sells are you close with seinfeld i know him yes i would be like like do you text him it's i could i don't you don't but i have who do you have the number i'm trying to see if we get four tickets i bring tom me you and then who else jerry we could we'll get jerry and we go to the grand pri yeah 45 days seven hours 39 minutes until the

21st or 23rd November, I think we're, I think, Judd, I hate to say this. It's Halloween.
I mean, it's a, it's Thanksgiving week. No, I think me and you are actually shooting that week.
Oh, yeah.

You think Ted can get us tickets to this F1 thing? I feel like Ted, Serenos, has access to tickets generally. I feel like when he

go places, I'm going to hit him up. You can go.
Um, Leanne is dying to know. I think I've done all Tom's questions.
Your favorite Rolex, your favorite cars.

Do you, are you, are you excited for the new line in Gucci?

Yes. Okay.

Do you guys buy that? You guys who go, you'll buy some Gucci? Tom is a hardcore Gucci fan. Like, that's all he wears is like the most ridiculous clothes i've never been able

to um have a a style like a fashion style like like would i be eurotrash would i be kind of country guy would i be you know modern indie guy like i can't get deep into your style you don't even know your style i like i can't get a style you are hollywood writer yeah but i like that people do like i like that you know tom's like i'm gonna be stylish right now and you know jonah is very into like kind of style and he loves fashion and but like for me i think i still feel like such like a 10 year old nerd that the idea of like dressing up feels very embarrassing to me well it's it's you're in in all honesty you're putting on a costume yeah like you're you're deciding who people will see you as based on your exterior and i i you're right i my daughters tell me i dress like a 12 year old yeah they're like you wear oversized hats you wear sneakers or flip-flops jeans and a t-shirt but do you have a your version of when you're you're getting dressed up nope yeah so you're like

i legit have to have a stylist pick clothes out for me yeah because i cannot like if i have to go to a premiere i can't i don't i don't know what to wear because even like sandler who has like a no style style it is a style it is a style and i don't it evolved because it was always that like sandler's gonna wear like a winter coat with shorts and and i don't think he thought anything of it just kind of comfort never thought of it and as the years have gone by like people have identified his choices to the point where I hear there's like a day at schools every year where everyone dresses like Sandler dresses in life.

He dresses. He dresses like he's blind.
The fact that Adam Sandler can wear red sweatpants with just

like

off-the-shelf Nikes, like the ridiculous ones that

still have the pump in the front with a collared shirt and then a trench coat is like,

it's so fucking next level fashionable that it's a flex. Because if anyone else tried to wear that, be like, you can't wear that in here, but then now they're out of sight.

But is it the question, and I know him really well. Pull up Adam Sandler's.
Like, is it a flex if

you have put zero thought into it? He has to put a little thought. On some level, do you think in his mind it looks fantastic? Or he's just like, this feels nice to wear these shorts.
That's it.

Red pants. Red pants, yellow shirt.
That's it. I saw him.
I have those. That's a guy.
That's Adidas. I have those.
They're very comfortable. They're fucking so comfortable.
Cleaning golf shirts.

I bought these golf shirts too. They're like these golf shirts made out of some sort of chemical or plastic that you can just sweat in.
And they're comfortable.

It's a very specific, I think, people are age type of golf shirt, which I found myself when I was shooting a movie in North Carolina. It was 100 every day.

It was the only thing I wouldn't sweat through.

was this kind of shirt. But this is like, I wouldn't wear that on a plane.
Like, like, no offense to him, but like, I would never, I would never think to put that on unless I was doing laundry.

So he's alpha dogging by wearing that. It's a fucking, like, anyone else goes to do, what is he doing, Kimmel or Fallon?

The only reason why I don't think it's a flex, I guess, is because like when we were like in our early 20s and lived together, that's how he dressed. But I guess at some point, people start.

really begging you to dress up because you're going to go to like beyond letterman that the moment you refuse to put on the suit is that the flex moment that's the flex that's where we all want to be.

You know, I said when I... This is my fashion.
That's as fashionable as I get. Oh, you got a pearl damn shirt on with Eddie Vetter? That's such a kiss-ass move.
That is so like.

You got a pearl damn shirt on with Eddie Vetter. It's like, hey, I have this shirt from your concert.
I kept it. But look at Adam Sandler's outfits.
They are

S89, basically on the right there. That's 89 Sandler.

And you can't really like slam them for what they like. Like, I remember I was doing a thing.
Look, look at his wife and his daughters are all dressed up. And then he's,

he doesn't look bad.

You know,

you have to respect the commitment to

the casual and to be happy. You know, when I look at that, I just think it makes him happy to feel that way.
And this is who I am.

And it's, you know, there's nothing in this business that want encourages that in any way. When I was doing press for the machine, I was like, I don't want to wear a shirt.

I don't want to wear a shirt because I couldn't fit in shirts. I was really fat at the time, but I was like, and I just, and like, they weren't, I just felt uncomfortable in a shirt.

And I was doing, uh, like, I was doing some show, and the guy was like, just so you know, you can def, you're definitely in a place where you can not wear a shirt. Yeah.

Like, you're when you're known for that. So, like, if you want to wear it opened, no one's going to have a problem with that.
And so, I started wearing shirts opened, and I was like, wow, I feel good.

And then I started realizing my style really is black dude. Like, my style is what year?

Probably this year. Like anything black dudes wear right now, I love like a little, like a little bit of, little bit of flair.

Like if you go to those, do you know like the shops that sell black dude clothes where it's like suits and hats and then they'll have their shirts where it's like a bedazzled giraffe?

That's what the clothes are. That's what you should wear.
That's what I'm most comfortable in. Like I like those clothes.
Could I pull it off? No.

See, I need to find a type of dude. No, but your style's your style.
Your style is Hollywood writer. If you put on a hoodie and some new balance i'm like 1993 simpsons writer yeah exactly you're not

writer it's john viti i'm john viti or john schwartzwelder yeah uh in human form but you guys are in shape now like you and time you decided to exercise you decided to get in shape and uh see i i haven't taken the the leap that you guys have taken.

You guys work out. I hate working out.
So it's always a struggle. Really? The second I walk in, I'm like, I hate this.
I hate all these people. I hate the people that work out.

The people who try to train me, I want to punch them the second they start talking to me. Like the chatter with the trainer is like, I can't handle like the small talk.
And,

or if they count, I hate when they like start counting like five, four, three. I'm like, I can count myself like, because they're so bored.

And all I think is how fucking bored they are at watching me. Oh, like, just a guy watching me like do squats makes me uncomfortable.
Like everything about it, I have so much trouble with.

So I, right before COVID, I'm like, I'm going to join the most expensive gym on earth. So I feel guilty if I don't go.

And it was like this place and they had Cairo and massages and it was just so expensive. And I go, no matter what, I'm going three days a week.
And then I did it for like a year.

I go, I have to find a way to not hate this. Can I do it so much? And I slowly stopped hating it.
And I was like, almost looking forward to it. And then COVID hit.

And then COVID hit and the place went out of business. And I have not been back.

Now I only work out if I have a massive injury and need physical therapy. So wait, does

your wife, I'm assuming your wife works out? She does, yes. Yeah.
She's, how did you get her?

She's beautiful. Prayer.
She's beautiful. And like you met her.
Like you guys are, like, it's a, it's an interesting couple. Yeah.
But she's like, it's like chicks like that, like Leanne. Yeah.

Chicks like that where they're, where the woman is so much prettier than the man. Or just better in every way.

What's that? Or just better in every way. In every way,

you're like, oh, they must have, there's something real about them. Where people don't think it makes sense.
Like, they, they wonder what's wrong that it happened.

Yeah, like, it's every chick that dated Pete Davidson. You're like, you're like, oh, because I know Pete's a sweet guy.
Yeah. And I go, he's very charming.

Pete. He's cool.

He's very charming. By the way, same style as Adam Sandler.

But he is stylish. Like, Pete is trying to do the stylish.

Pete is trying to do the Sandler 2.0 with style.

That's how we might,

that's how we might define it. But do you like working out? I love it.
Like, so you get like endorphins. I get hardcore endorphins after.
If I don't work out, I have depression all day. Yeah.

So if I, if I, I have to work out every day. Um,

I can take days off. Uh, like if I'm flying, I can take a day off.
I try to work. I do a workout in the morning.
How long is it? An hour every day, an hour. I do four.

I do, and then sometimes I work out twice a day. Like today I'll work out twice.
I'll go back and I'll jog.

But

I think I'm just conditioned for that. I think I enjoy it and it really, it lets my brain,

it kind of unclogs my brain a little bit. But you guys got to find like

it's really just have a panic attack the second I get on the treadmill. I'm like, fucking 19 more minutes of this shit.

Fucking 18 more minutes of this shit. What do you got to do?

I used to get on the treadmill with a box of wine and watch guys grocery grocery games or guy's drive-ins and dives and drink wine on the treadmill. I'd drink wine.

I'd drink a box of wine and walk, and I'd just be like, I'd have fun.

Or I'd,

I love the idea. There's, there's this great, not, they're a podcast sponsor, and I'm not plugging them because they're a sponsor.
There's this great thing called tonal, which you put on the wall.

Oh, yeah. I just looked at it the other day.
It's, I got to tell you why it's great is that

you're doing it with a person. It is very guided.

They don't let you cheat, so, like, once you do your strength part of it, yeah, then everything's set in, dialed in for you, and you can take that off. If you stay still, you can take that off.

But the other thing that's great about it is you can find, like, a like, if you're just like, I don't really have the time today, but I got 12 minutes, yeah, you can find a 12-minute workout in there, you can find a 10-minute workout, or if you get like ballsy, you're like, I can do a workout, and then later in the night, you know what, I'm gonna bang out arms real quick, that'll be fun.

I'm gonna get, I'm gonna have a, I know we're going out to dinner, she's getting dry, I'm gonna go bang out arms. Tonal really works.
If I agree to do uh

toner tonal tonal yeah if i agree to do tonal and do like a before and after

where before i'm like hairy and fat and then after i'm like there's not a hair on my body yeah i'm like ripped like when you see those like 70 year old guys with their like ripped stomachs i follow him on instagram you think they'll send me a free one yeah i promise right now by the way like oprah like oprah with weight watchers i'm gonna promise to get ripped i'm 100 certain the tonal's listening to this going we would love to.

And by the way, I haven't even, the best one's a spray tan. Just get a spray tan and you'll feel so fucking sexy.
Yeah. I get, I get spray tans all the time.
I love them because you feel so hot.

You feel so fucking sexy. Well, the thing is, I have to get lasered.
Like last summer, I knew I was going to be like on a beach a lot. I'm like, God, I'm so hairy and my back is so hairy.

I gotta, I gotta fucking laser this shit off. I mean, I've never done it, but like some hairs are like 11 inches at this point, like where you pull one and you can't believe how far out.

It's like, I'm going to get rid of, I'm going to just laser it. So the lady's like, okay, well, you got to get, you got to shave.

You got to like shave your whole body, like tight shave to do, to do the lasers. For real.
You know, which, you know, I have to like get help. And shaving me is like shaving.
Wait, how hairy are you?

Pull up because Apple Towel shirtless. I'm yeah, it's not up there.
You know how hairy I am? That like, you ever see like in a sitcom if somebody was

hairy on the beach, like that's the punchline in like a sitcom or a movie. Yeah, yeah.
I'm always hairier than that guy. Like the hairy guy on the beach.
So you won't find it. You won't find it.

I would not allow it. So there it is.

That's maybe the only time on the top left there where I did a photo shoot during 40 old Virgin where they wanted to shave a V into my chest and I didn't realize that I was allowed to say no.

You know, like you're young and you're like,

okay, I guess. And then I had a V for like two years waiting for it to grow back out.
Oh, because all the other hairs are so much longer than your whole lifetime. Yeah, yeah.

You'd have to trim it all down to get it back to that level. I was like,

did the laser work? What happened? So the first time I was shaved, so I had to have a family member shave me.

It was like, you ever see like a dirty sheep that has like five feet of filthy, matted hair? And then they just buzz it off. And then it looks like a tiny cat when they finally get it.

Like that's what happened.

And then, so they they lasered me and then i'd have to keep getting shaved lasered like they're like it takes like 12 times after three like it's not working at all and then she's like well we could go back to the older laser because we've been using this new kind of laser she starts doing it it hurts like it's one flu of the cuckoo's nest it's like for real so much and i i try to let her do it try to let her do it And then I'm like, I can't do it.

It just hurts too much. It's like, you're torturing me.
And then now I have stripes. Like, so that like, that is the one area that worked is i have like a stripe like a racing stripe

because and i won't go back because it hurts too much like now even the rest of it out

oh i would love to get my back whack like laser oh man i got i've gotten hairier since i used testosterone yeah it's gotten it's gotten aggressive

because i realized that like my instagram ads kept like pushing back hair shavers on me just because I talk about it so much.

Dude, my Instagram, my Instagram, all it sends me me is

people celebrating sobriety. Really? Because I'm, yes, I'm doing sober October.
So I talk about being, I say, I say, so it is listening. Oh, it's 100%.
And do we know this?

Like, but like, it's formally like that, like, Instagram has admitted we listen. And if you say something, we know it and we send an ad.
Like, is that like a confirmed technology at this point?

A hundred percent. There's no way that my algorithm, it never shows sobriety stuff ever.
It's always people partying, people shotgunning beers.

And then every October, it is, it is sober this, sober life, sober and suggestions. And I'm always like, what the fuck? Yeah.

And I, and I was sad is I kind of enjoy them because it's nice to see someone get their life in track, but it's like also going like, yo, yeah. Like,

what are you saying to me? Like, I got my shit together. Yeah.
Like, what the fuck? Yeah. Like, it's, it's totally listening.
Yeah, that's so weird, though, isn't it?

I think I would really like to get my back shaved or just lasered. I want my back lasered or waxed.
I think I'll get my back lasered. Well, we're about to find out.

See, have you ever done that full test? I used to try to change it.

I used to do a joke where I said

about trying to change my Amazon recommendations, you know, because like everything on Amazon, like you buy one book about how to get your dick hard. And then

every day is like, how's your dick doing? And so I'm like, I want to change the algorithm because I fucked up the algorithm.

So then I just bought like every single Kathy Griffin album album just to see if I could switch the algorithm. And then, you know, but I just saw her in the, in the Menendez Brother documentary.

Was she in it? Oh, because they used a clip of her talking about it back then. For making fun of the Menendez brothers.
In 1992. Yeah.
And then, and now you realize that

the TikTok's changed the Menendez story because TikTok's very...

Trauma positive is the right way to say it. You know, like they're, and so

they're a little more empathetic than maybe the justice system was in the 90s. They're definitely more empathetic than men were in the 90s.

So apparently, the men on that first trial railroaded these boys. And they're like, no, they're fucking 18.
Who molests an 18-year-old? Who rapes an 18-year-old boy? I remember watching it at home.

And, you know, I was very young.

So maybe I was 20 or 21.

But thinking, I don't know how you could act this well and improvise these answers

like this. Oh, and I guess now that I'm older, I do realize that that happens.

But as a young person watching every minute of it, you know, for weeks, I just thought, who could make up the specificity of this and be so in the moment that if it was not true, it is one of the most incredible acting performances of all time.

Without a doubt. And Lyle Menendez, his testimony is like, and they just came out, Netflix just came out with a documentary about it, which is fucking crazy.

And then you see what a fucking unhinged lunatic the prosecutor from the first trial was.

She literally at one point in this documentary is like, these TikTok kids think they know the justice system. And guess what? Come after me.
I got fucking guns in my house. And you're like,

okay.

You're like, Jesus Christ. Well, I guess probably now the whole world goes after her.
Has to, right? Or at least the people who believe.

And I guess that's scary for all those people in all those jobs. Like it used to be, you know, you would just do your job.

And now like even normal people have to do with deal with like millions of people who are all worked up. I mean, look at the, I mean, not to like casually, but like look at the Haktua girl.

Just casually says one thing one night drunk. And then her life changes entirely.
And she's got to put up with all the, all the love, right?

And all the fun, but then all these haters that are like, are like, you're nothing, you're nobody. What, you know? Where do you stand on the, on that?

i love her i mean i i thought about it when she was on bill maher i was like

what do i make of this right because and i thought

okay so the culture like embraces people instantly right so things just explode instantly like a girl like like i tried to like even as like a a parent and someone who makes things and in a weird way my work competes with a hawk too girl right like in a weird way you're right that is a the profound statement yeah So part of you can be like an old man, like, I don't like this news, new things.

But I, then I thought about it. I'm like, well, what is wrong about a joke about sex where like a young girl just cracking up who it isn't like in her head, isn't all conservative and concerned?

Like, is that wrong to just be loose and happy and, you know, not weird about your body and what we all do? And then I, I just was like, gave myself over to it.

Like, well, maybe it's, I mean, we'll see what else a person like that can do. Like they have anything to say, but is it so terrible that we all decide that something is kind of a riot?

Oh, it's, it's, it's wild because I, I think it's cool. Here's, here's what's crazy is like, I watch people go on Kill Tony.
Kill Tony is by far easily the biggest.

Biggest comedy event in comedy for a very long time. It's, it's, it's really blowing kids up.
But I look at those kids that have been doing it just once.

They did stand-up once and they explode and people recognize them and they get the Haktua treatment.

And I want to say to them, just pull back a little bit and really develop the craft and give yourself 10 years to fail. The Haktua girl is different.
It is someone who never cared about this business.

I just like that girl. And I identify with her because I do because, you know, when I was in college, I had written up in Rolling Stone as a number one party animal.
And my life changed.

And so I wrote. You had more than one funny line, though.
nope i shit

i on a pizza box to win election that's i didn't i had never done stand up i just i tried stand up i tried stand up after the article came out and i liked it and i was like i moved to new york and i thought it would just happen for me and it didn't it didn't took me god it took me almost six months well it's also

well it's always like what is she willing to put into it to actually have something to offer like you get an opportunity but like do you have any vision for yourself i think that's the beauty of her: it's like, literally, it's like a Viking funeral.

You're just sending her out the sea going, does it light on fire? For me, I like to go deep, you know, like I, you know, mentored understanding, and it was always like, How deep can you go?

How much can you reveal? You know, so it's more, it's a long form thing. At the same time, like, I can like appreciate a six-second thing.
Like, I used to do a joke on the stage about,

you know, to my kids,

you know, like an like uh like fainting goats video is the same as knocked up

and the truth is like it it may be better you know like there's an argument that some of it is more instant and it's better but like i've been built like no we're trying to like touch you in your heart and and be deep and but you're you are in a world where that stuff like if you just go i want to go home and just watch serial killer interrogations interrogations for the next eight hours.

My kids are like, got into watching interrogations,

you know, for a little while, like years ago. They're like fascinated.
My daughter Isla is obsessed with that. And she wants to get into solving serial.
She goes, I think I want to be like

someone who solves murders. And I was like, maybe just because the podcasts are interesting doesn't mean that life is the one you want to live.
Yeah, it could be hard.

I mean, because when I was a kid, if I was interested in something, because I was like a nerdy kid, so I had all the Hollywood magazines and stuff.

But like when I wanted to know more about like Jimi Hendrix dying, I remember just going to the library, getting out the microfiche of like, of like his, of his like obituary

and like reading his obituary and then hunting down Lenny Bruce's obituary and then trying to find every article ever in the New York Times about Lenny Bruce. So if when I was like 14,

YouTube and all this stuff existed, I don't think I would have ever left the house. I would have been so fascinated by the information and the entertainment of it.
Yes.

Because I was trying to create it myself. Like when I was a kid and I would interview comedians, when I was like 16, I went and interviewed Steve Allen and John Candy and Howard Stern.

It's like I was hungering for the content that didn't exist. Do you still have those interviews? Oh, yeah.
Are they up?

No, no. I should put some of them, some of them up.
They're embarrassing because my voice is so high and it's such a New York accent. Really?

So it's literally like me with Howard Stern going like, how'd you first get into radio? Like, it's just, it's,

I sound like Eric the actor.

But yeah, I should put some of them. I would love to hear those interviews.
I want to talk. I want to hang on.
I've got to talk to you about Gary Shanling.

Let me tell you one Gary Shanling, a Jason's story, is Gary Shanling was really good friends with Warren Beatty and had been in a bunch of his movies. So I was around him a couple of times.

I just remember him saying,

it's over. Movies are over.

He's like, all this reality stuff. And this is before like TikTok.
This is just like reality television, like the simple life things like that. He's like,

it's kind of more interesting. Like looking at real people.
He's like, I don't know how you ultimately compete against it. Yeah.
You know, and I, and it blew my mind, right?

And he was fascinated by it. Like, like, this is really going to change everything for what we do.
That's wild. Do you ever see the movie? What was American Made? What was it?

What type of American Made? Do you ever see that movie? american made it was a documentary oh about the the the the filmmakers no the filmmakers and oh american movie american movie incredible and i

directed i remember what who did chris smith directed it this might be one of the most fascinating i gave louis anderson mark brichard is that his name mike mark brichard and what was the other guy's name his friend on the right mike yeah

i did uh i did I gave two movies to Louis Anderson before he died. Yeah.
This one and Made by Jon Fabrow's Made. Great movie made.
It was fucking amazing. With Vince Haughan and Diddy.

And I didn't know how to get them back from his estate.

It's like, hey, does he, I know he's dead. You can't get things back from an estate.
I was like, I know, but can't you just go through and grab my movies real quick?

But what was Gary Shandling is one of my favorite in the world.

I loved Gary Shandling. Did you meet Gary? Ever.
No, I'm glad I didn't. There's a lot of people I'm glad I didn't meet.
Well, Gary, like, some people would meet him. He'd be the nicest guy ever.

And other times he would just be in a weird mood and they would feel very like, like iced by him. Yeah.
Just because he might just be strange and in his head.

Like, I don't think he meant to ever do that. Cause then other people, like, he'd be like this, a riot to, to hang out with in the moment.

Was he, was he, because he seemed like the guy that was like, like, Norm McDonald, I always felt was always on.

Was Gary that way? No, not at all. Really? No, not, not at all.
Because he was a real observer of people and he was fascinated by like what your thing was.

But when he wanted to be on, like when he went into the mode, just so crazy funny. Like,

like Gary and Sagitt hanging out, doing filthy jokes back and forth, like nothing funnier than that.

Like, when Gary was in the mood to do that, uh, but you know, he was a real artist, so I mean, a lot of the time when I was around him, he was deadly serious.

Like, you know, we're writing the Emmy Awards and he really wants it to be good, and he's going to grind so hard

to get it right. Like, in a way that's like he's making Oppenheimer, yeah, like the level of care that he's putting into it and how much pressure he's putting on himself is just so massive and insane.

Because, like, when he hosted the Emmys, he didn't want to just host the Emmys, he wanted to reinvent the entire show.

Gary Shandling's career was like, I remember watching him as a kid in the 80s on Carson,

and then

all the way to like the Gary Shanling show was.

Yeah. That changed everything.
I mean, Conan,

was it Conan or it was,

you know, some of the Simpsons writers said they saw that show and said, oh, you can do this.

Like, I didn't realize how much different television could be than what it is. That was everyone's pitch was, it's like the Gary Shanling show, but it was crazy because things would get hot.

And you'd watch people go, it's like the Gary Shanling. And they're like, well, they already did that.
And you're like, yeah, but it still fucking worked really well. Yeah.

And he would do shows that was a musical. I remember there was an episode of Gary Shanley's show where he had to leave town.

And so then they still did the show, but they were all replaced by like red buttons and old-time comics. And the whole episode was just a different cast with all old-time comedians.

I'm bummed that the Friars Club doesn't exist anymore. Yeah.
Cause that was like the only thing when I first started is like, that seemed like the coolest thing in the world.

Who would we have, though, if we started, we started the fire scope. I think I'm the old guy now.

I think also like the world was different, that everyone was kind of didn't travel as much, and you know, they were all willing to ignore their kids, you know.

So, like, these guys all hang out at a club and drink and get a show.

Cardiologist,

Joe Brooks is still alive. Yeah, I'm doing a documentary on him right now.
Really? Yeah, he's 98. He's 98.
What do you, what's the documentary? It's just like a two-part HBO deep dive.

Taking him out and filling up his bucket list of things, skydiving, horseback riding.

Because I just did like 10 hours at his house with him for real. And it's just so funny.
Just like so funny. Like, couldn't be sharper.

I said, Mel, you're always at these memorials giving speeches about you know all your friends who died. You're so good at it.

I'm like, do me. I'm dead.

What do you say? And then he went into like a five-minute memorial speech of me. Really? He's like, you know, Judd was fine.
He was okay.

He did what he did.

I mean, like, as funny as ever. Yeah.
You know, when he wants to be. God, I never fucking realized.
I guess I'm the old guy in comedy now. Like,

I'm the fucking Mel Brooks of our generation.

God,

there's people older than you.

There has to be, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Jeff Ross is. You're younger than me.
Yeah, but only by like two years. Yeah.

I should have done more in my life, Judd. There's comedians in their 60s out there

and 70s. I mean, it's pretty amazing that like the people that are still out there.

Wait, who is older than me as comics?

That's still working? Still touring. The generation of like Seinfeld and New York, they're all

still working. And George Wallace is amazingly funny.

There's a lot of people like late 60s, early 70s. Seinfeld's older than me.
What the fuck am I talking about? Yeah, so you don't got to worry about that. There's a bunch of people.

that's my I'm trying to kill my uh kill my ego. Yeah, is uh, I just see myself, that's all I see is me, yeah.
And uh, and uh, what are you gonna do about that? Judd,

this is the biggest conversation. Yeah, I don't know if you know this, but when your kids leave, you spend a lot of time with one person, yeah, and she tells you what's wrong with you.

Oh, we sat in bed crisscross applesauce yesterday, and was like, I uh, I have

the fact that I have that I'm noticing it is good, apparently.

But I just I have plans on becoming more empathetic, more grounded. How famous are you out in the world?

Judd,

I wish I wasn't the one answering this. Yeah.
Because I don't know. But like, how much are people walking up to you

out in the world? I walked to work today

and three cars. honked at me yeah and everyone i walked past knew who i was yeah i'm pretty like right now i'm probably it's interesting.

I think I'm, I'm, no, I'm more famous than Tom, like way more famous than Tom. Oh, yeah, that's clear.
Because, because we went to, and it also could have been where we were.

But Tom has two different looks. Yeah, he has so Tom.
If you combined both looks, he's probably more famous. I think he just looks like me.

I'm so famous. We were.
Are you guys meaning to look the same? I think we were in an elevator one time and Tom never gets recognized ever. I mean, especially when I'm with him.

And this dude is like, holy shit, and goes right up to Tom. He's like, dude, you're my guy i love you and tom's like thank you and he's like the machine

and tom's like even now yeah but it's like we went to nascar and i got recognized so much he goes he was like i'm he's like this is wild yeah like i do get recognized a lot but also i have to be fair i'm very loud and my voice is distinct and i don't and i like i am the person in target that will go lean

like i'm a loud person and i just i cast a large wake and you want it on some level i don't I don't not want it but some people just have a look like I was with Jim Carrey in the mall in New Jersey once during in living color and we were at a bookstore and like someone recognized him and then someone else recognized him

and then slowly we felt the entire mall running towards the bookstore yeah this is before the thing took off and because he's tall and he's Jim yeah and there were certain people I know when Jonah got famous with Superman he said literally the next day because he's also, you just notice him.

And then there's some people I know, like they never, ever get recognized. I get recognized.
I get recognized for ridiculous.

And by the way, I can pick, I can almost tell you where I'll get recognized. Like if I go to a dispensary, hardcore.

If I go to a, if I go to

any liquor store, like definitely.

Yeah, there's like, like I, if I, anytime I go through security at the airport, I'm almost like, especially if I have weed on me, I'll make eye contact with the dude. But you like it.
Yeah. I like

anything wrong with like liking it. I mean, you know, Sandler gets recognized more than anyone I've ever met.
He's, you know, he's, it's like the president is coming to.

And also everyone, and I'm sure it's the same with you, thinks it's okay to walk up. Like he's at him.
Yeah. He has no energy of you're not allowed to say hi.
Oh, I know. And he's old school.

He's like,

you know, you pay the bills. You made this happen.
If you see a celebrity, the best thing to do is be like, like, go, Judd, fucking love you, dude. That's it.
That's it.

And that is not one, not one celebrity will dis will not like that. Just the second you go, this is the thing that I know turns Tommy off.
I don't want to be that guy. Yeah.

And Tom, I hear him say it. Then don't.

Then don't. I usually have people who like, don't think I'm worth stopping for, but will say something nice on the, without stopping.
I get a lot of like, like your shit. Yep.
That's it.

That's all you want. That's all you want.
It's just, dude, dude, you're the fucking man. And Judd, you are the fucking man.
Thank you for doing this.

I've had you now for fucking so much longer than I know you thought committed to, but you're the fucking man. And I appreciate it.
I have to say this.

And I have to say this for everything you've made, everything you've ever been a part of, everything you've touched has brought me so much joy. And all I can say is just thank you.

You're a fucking awesome dude. Thank you, Bert.
Appreciate it. Happy to be here.

And like I said, everyone, November 3rd, all proceeds are donated to the American Red Cross for Hurricane Relief at the Variety Playhouse in Atlanta on Sunday.

Beacon Theater is part of the New York Comedy Festival Saturday, November 9th. Go check them out.

Is it just you? You bring other people? Surprise guys. Jeff Foxworthy is going to be in Atlanta with me.
No

fucking way. And I have some cool guests at the beacon in New York, and then I'm going to be at Largo next week on the 15th for Florida Hurricane.
Nice. Thank you, Judd.
Thank you.

Bert and Tom, Tom and Bert.

One goes topless while the other wears a shirt. Tom tells stories and Bert's the machine.
There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep it clean. Here's what we call two bears, one cave.