Broden, Zach & Queen Pissbottom

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23?

What mixta?

Expera vuela salam

aquí que nitos gugando, but el sotano.

Oya wé eson 23 degua.

Payno se mija, cheque al un internet.

Video como guillionario.

Optain wi-fi en másón cones de locar con ATNT fiber con alphi.

ATNT connectar lo cambia todo.

ATNT fiber tener espon livedar limita daciani testasars.

Certura wi-fi extended ATNT concrabada dina almes.

the news.

Pre-sale begins 15th of May at 9am PDT.

Head to auntieDonna.com for more details and grab those tickets quick.

A listener production.

Hey, welcome to Queen Piss Bottom and Broden, a weekly lifestyle podcast that takes you through all the ups and downs of getting through it.

This week, we're joined by a very special guest from the comedy world, Auntie Donna, Zach Rowan, who talks about all the journeys of making comedy in Australia in 2025.

As always, you can support us on our Patreon, Queen Piss Bottom and Broden.

Head there right now, and then we talk about the owners of Cocoa Pops.

Enjoy this episode!

It's Queen Piss Bottom and Broden.

Yes!

It's Queen Piss Bottom and Broden Kelly.

Oh yes.

Queen Piss Bottom and a Broden Kelly Queen.

I'm a Queen Piss Bottom.

He's a Broden Key Lee.

Enjoy the episode.

Welcome to Broden and Queen Piss Bottom, a weekly podcast where we go into all the things of lifestyle.

And

today I'm Broden Kelly and this is I'm a

guy who loves his sport.

If you're the first time listening, a guy who loves his sport, loves his politics and news.

And I'm joined as always by Queen Queen Pissbottom.

I'm Queen Pissbottom.

And, you know,

I love many things.

I love the royals,

royal crowns, the cookie.

And I love,

you know, I love ruling over the eight kingdoms of Rye.

That's right.

Queen Pissbottom.

And as always, we're joined by a...

Very exciting guest every week to talk about their lifestyle.

That's right.

Today, Zachary is known for being a member of Australian comedy group Auntie Donna.

He is also involved in other projects such as Funtime Film Club at Ledo Cinemas in Melbourne, where he introduced and presents films.

Additionally, he co-hosts a podcast called Mish and Zach Podcast.

He's also the co-creator and performs on stage in a show called Refused Classification.

Please welcome our guest this week.

On Broden and Queen Piss Bottom, it's Zach.

Hello, thank you so much for having me.

It's very lovely to have you.

I'm such a big fan of the podcast as well.

And I love all of your work, Queen Piss Bottom.

I basically know how to drink cups of tea and eat

scones and the correct ways.

What about tiny sandwiches?

I know all of these things.

I've watched all of Queen Piss Bottom's etiquette videos.

I've watched all of her,

I've basically read all of your books.

So it's a huge honor to be here.

And Broden, also a fan.

I've worked with you a lot in Auntie Donna, but thank you so much for having me on the podcast.

And so, as if you've listened to any episodes, you know, we start with the five questions that were built by Biennau Pivot.

Bienna Pivot.

Queen Piss Bottom and I.

First one,

what gets you up in the morning?

Oh, wow.

Wow.

What gets me up in the morning?

Listen, for me,

and I think you'd identify with this, Queen Piss Bottom.

Oh, yes.

Yeah, I think it's just a love of

just manners and correct behavior and how to hold oneself.

Yeah, I think Queen Pissbottom talks about

Queen Pissbottom.

Yeah, talks about that all the time.

Yes, we are.

My whole family thrives on correct etiquette and making one feel like a proper little lady.

Now, Queen Pissbottom, I actually have a question for you.

Do you mind if I just move off the question for one second just ask a question of Queen Pissbott?

It's a high structure.

We don't like to

understand.

And that's why I asked and I am politely accepted.

But keep it.

Hold on to it like

a heir, like a male heir in your bosom.

Queen Piss Bottom, how do you feel about it?

Because I believe Zach's got something to run with here and I don't want it.

It's not a run, it's just one really quick question.

If it's quick, I shall allow you to.

Is that manners, Queen Piss Bottom?

It's manners,

manners of maybe

the hound carer.

Very similar manners to something that the hound carer.

Manners of the hound carer.

Lower in the house.

Yes, but you know, manners

are manners.

And you can't expect everyone from every astronaut of society to have the same sort of manners.

You weren't bought up with a silver spoon in your mouth and piss all over your bottom.

So I can't expect

piss bottom was born with a silver spoon in her mouth and piss all over her bottom.

Whereas how my family got her name, I come from a long line of people with piss all over her.

You know, the wells were people who owned the well, and uh Mr.

Bricklayer was the man who laid bricks.

Yeah.

My family pissed on our own bottoms all because of splashes.

Pissed on their own bottoms because of splashes.

Also, because they were fucked in the head from incest, yeah.

Well, yes, lots and lots of incest.

Constantly sisters, fucking brothers, and brothers, sucking cousins, and cousins, fucking mothers, and mothers, sucking sons.

And now they piss on their own bottoms.

It wasn't until they got the German bloodline in that, and then I think a few

Swedes, they started going out of the family that they stopped.

They got their own bloodline.

They got their own,

they went back to five fingers.

We needed to breathe the drool out of us.

We were all coming out drooling all over ourselves.

It was sloppy as all over.

And Queen Piss Bottom, as you say, and we have it on t-shirts in our website.

Drool is the piss of the mouth.

Drool is the piss of the mouth.

It always has been.

And it always has been.

I have one of those shirts, bro.

I am a huge fan.

I know people say that.

I am a huge fan.

Yeah, now, what was your little quick question?

So the little quick question is

about two episodes ago you mentioned that if you have a handbag at a restaurant you need to use one of the hooks under the table.

Now a lot of modern restaurants don't have hooks under the table.

In that circumstance, is it okay to put the bag on the ground or is there another place to put the bag?

No, you bring your own hook.

What?

What?

One, when entering a restaurant, must be prepared for no hook under the table.

I agree, it is something that has been lost to time, the pure etiquette of I can go back and

but I bring my own magnetized hook and a little magnet.

I put one part of the magnet on top of the tag.

Queen Pissbottom brings her own magnet and hook.

You must bring your own magnet.

You can get them on Amazon.

You know like the button on a blazer sometimes always never.

If you have three buttons, if you have two it's sometimes

never.

And then if you have one it's sometimes

always never.

But so that's a there's a saying in British culture.

Yeah.

A magnet and a hook is good for you.

I'm not British.

You're not British?

I'm just saying, though, for the British people, there's a saying.

What are you?

British?

Czechoslavakian.

Okay.

Czechoslovlakian.

Czechosuvlakian.

Czeka souvlaki.

So a souvlakian.

A souvlakian is someone who eats souvlaki.

But they always make sure it's got the right fillings before.

Which is Tadziki and lamb.

Yes.

Oh, wow.

And chippies.

So you check the souvlaki.

check the Savlakian.

Yeah, wow.

Check the Savlakian, my tummy.

Anyway, you can carry on.

That's a fascinating answer.

I'm going to hop right on Amazon as soon as this is.

Question number two.

Who is your favorite servant, and what is it that they do for you that makes them your favorite?

Well, you know,

they sort of pertain.

You see, this character's kind of regal.

Now, I'm prepared for this question because I know you ask every week, and I know a lot of the middle class and working class and like normal people that are on the show don't normally have an answer, answer, but I've been thinking about it, right?

And I read somewhere recently that when you think about you know, chat GPT,

when you think about Uber Eats,

when you think about

you know, in a lot of ways, or Uber, even in a lot of ways, because of technology, we all have a butler or a cook or a servant in our house.

That servant, though, now is our mobile telephone.

Robot,

Gemini.

You know, it used to be just people like yourself yourself

and

the others.

And

they would subjugate people like me and Broden and we would be subjugated by you.

And what would happen is we would have to do things and you would get to eat whatever you want.

You'd get to, but now, telephone, you can have that done for you.

So there's less of a purpose for people like you.

What?

Nothing.

Anyway, next question.

What sound or noise do you love?

Do you know this is going to sound cuckoo bananas, but I like the sound of chalk on a chalkboard.

What?

That is absolutely great.

What?

It makes my spine go dingly, dingly, dingle.

Ding.

What do you mean?

Explain yourself.

What are you talking about?

What do you mean?

We're sort of just like a fun podcast.

That's crazy.

I think a few of your younger listeners probably don't even really know that.

No, they wouldn't.

No,

tippy-tapping on an iPad or even the squeak on a whiteboard.

Yeah, maybe,

maybe that.

Now, we've reached that impasse where

Mark is running out of energy for the character, and this is where things get interesting for me.

Maybe the click of a mouse trackpad,

maybe they'd know that.

Now, my intention was to slowly build up to a revolution where we chopped off her head.

This turn has made everything so much more unpredictable.

What do you love about it?

It will not be today that I die, the last of my blood.

Fuck me and make me an heir.

I won't be doing that, but I am a huge fan.

Love your work.

Thank you.

So, this character is a sort of like a Marie Antoinette.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

But hosting sort of a commercial podcast, like a Call Me Daddy or a kick pod kind of situation.

And we kind of do like number question number three brings me to question number three.

Great, great.

What is your ideal breakfast?

Oh, good question.

You know, there would have been a time where I would have said,

this is crazy.

I quite like gozlome for breakfast.

Oh, that's crazy.

But I know.

what kind um spinach and feta oh

too oily for me that's fair i like a fresh mango seed

now mango would be boiled up quite hard to come by with a goose egg quite hard to come by as big as your dick

a goose egg

mango seed a mango seed which is a pip a giant pip yeah boiled up boiled up with a goose egg it's a real real, I don't know if you know this, but

where and when

piss bottom comes from.

Czechoslovlakian.

And the 18, maybe even 16, 1700s.

Who knows?

The mango seed is a sign of great wealth because it's very hard to grow in.

It's a Caribbean or something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Question number four.

Sure, sure.

What house do you despise the most?

And how would you take them down given the opportunity?

Well, I think that whole system here in wherever we are, that whole system for me, I used to be a part of it.

My father was a servant.

My mother was

a simple

piss bottom cleaner.

She cleaned the piss off of your family's bottoms.

Oh, a dynasty of its own.

Until she was kicked out of the castle.

Why?

For whatever reason.

For simply, simply trying to clean too much piss.

Apparently, your mother said that she wanted a little bit bit of piss on her bottom.

My mother told me tales of a servant who once was so eager to clean the piss off our bottoms, she had to have her executed.

Hung and quartered in the town square.

You love hung and quartered.

I do love that love.

He loves everybody.

Hung and quartered for all to see, limbs torn off,

each one placed in a different place.

Muck loves hung and quartered.

He tries to get hung and quartered into everything.

He does.

Hang them all, I say.

Quarter them into neat piles.

Put their head on a pike.

She's so fun, and I love this podcast.

And may I say, perhaps there was a little boy, a little boy in that town square seeing the murder of his mother.

And perhaps

he vowed that day to kill all piss bottoms.

No, I was told that little boy was caught and quartered and hung up for all to see.

I saw the bones myself.

Did you see him killed?

I saw the body, but it was charred black.

They burnt him first.

Indecipherable, you should say.

But I was assured by my guards that it was definitely them.

Well, that must be.

I've only heard stories, for

I am a simple

lord from a land far away that you've not heard of.

Did you say your mother was a piss bottom cleaner?

Oh, sorry, did I say that?

I must have misspoken.

I must have heard of such a guard.

I must have misheard.

So you've come here for the first time after 30 years away and you're a lord from a far-off town, isn't it?

I've never been to this part, but I love this podcast.

I'm a big fan.

I love both of you and nothing to worry about.

So, yeah, Captain Piss Bottom.

Captain?

I was a captain.

Reginald Piss Bottom.

You

killed, hung, and quartered a servant who cleaned piss bottoms.

What, too much?

Was too eager to clean the piss off our bottom.

So you had them hung and quartered in the town service.

Loads the last time you hung and quartered?

Um last Tuesday, I hung and

I hung and quartered a raven

because the raven came into I thought it was peeking at my bosom as I undressed and bathed.

Voluptuous bosoms.

Yes, a maiden was clearing, clearing my genitals, which is both a clean and a clear.

Where they clear.

Did a clean and clear?

Yeah, clean and clear.

I'll go and get a clean and clear 30 bucks at the barber.

I love to get a clean and clear.

Uh, you know, when they put a little pipe up your bottom and wash it all out.

And our raven came and I thought, that raven seems like it's maybe spying on me.

Captain Piss bottom here.

So I had it hung and quartered.

Hard to hang a raven.

Don't know if I've ever tried.

You don't do it literally.

You got a hung and quarter, yeah?

I've got a hung and quarter, but I love to watch.

Have you always had the same hung and quarter?

No, I had to hung and quarter my last hung quarter.

He hung and quartered too much, too eager for it.

Like too much

yeah someone who's like i'll do the task i don't love to do it in fact i'd rather be cleaning piss from bottoms or but not too much how low and what what if they're apathetic about on the let and what's what give me this

that's a hang and quarter for

nightly

of course um it's funny you say there's one i always thought you had a hanger and a quarter

when did you those two roles uh get um what's the word where it's um well

yeah our overheads were far too much so we had to combine the roles we sort of did a restructuring you brought in someone to do that yeah yeah it was too we found that to pay both a hanger and a quarter when one person

can do both quite easily we were spending far too much so I had them hung and I quartered

you didn't just let them go you hang and quartered the one you did

I saw the dark knight and I loved that joker I loved that character So I brought them into a room.

I got a pool cue.

I snapped it in half.

I threw it on the ground and I said, you know, it is time for aggressive expansion.

She literally just did Teeth Ledge's Joker.

Yes, yeah.

Well, you know,

he's one of the greatest heroes of the 20th century.

That's so cool.

I'm such a big fan of yours.

Captain Piss Queen Piss Bottom.

Yeah.

For the layman, what is a hanging quarter?

Genuinely, I'm asking because he puts in a lot.

I know what the the hanging bit is, I don't know what the quartering is.

I'm pretty sure it's a fifth thing, anyway.

After the hanging, which you know what, yeah, you hang them from the neck until they are dead, until they are choked, or you know, if naps, necks, that's the greatest

thing to see when you hear that

of someone's

neck snapping.

Why do you pull joy from that?

Surely you have eating quail and goose egg for your

mango seed

is enough to

assuciate you.

Assuage,

assage.

What is that?

I think you've said about four words in one another.

Assuatiage.

Yeah.

Patrick assuaciate me.

Not Patrick Swayze.

Well, why don't we have a short break?

Yeah, throw to some of the beauty creams.

Beauty creams and dancing machines

will be talk what?

Beauty cream.

Just throw it.

Do the ad-read we got to do.

I don't know what.

Yeah, for the

clearosil.

If you're a teenager, or even if you're an adult and you're experiencing that horrible affliction, acne, it's making it hard for you to kiss the boy or girl or those that live between the genders on the mouth or the pussy or the tits or the dick or the holes in which they like to fuck.

Clericil!

That's right, Queen.

Is that okay?

She's doing the ad read.

Is it okay?

What is

this?

Okay, is by me my sons, all of which have perished the black plague.

Well, consolitis, really.

You see, speaking of a hanging and quartering, why do I like it so much?

We have not your gizmos and gadgets.

I cannot turn on HBO and watch curb.

Do you want my account?

I can give you my.

No, I have no access to these things.

Are you still an ad read?

No, it's changed.

We seamlessly slipped away.

That's right.

That's right, Queen Piss Bottom.

Enter now for your chance to win a lifetime supply of Claracil by going to clearacil.com.au.

Are we really doing an ad for Clara Sil?

Because even I'm confused now.

Because remember that bit where you said about like sucking off

knobs and stuff?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That wouldn't be in a real ad.

No.

And you can cut it if you need to.

Or at least, at the very least, beep it out.

Now,

I have.

But it's not a real ad, so we can keep it.

Oh.

It's not because it's not a real ad.

We can keep the reference to sucking and fucking.

If it was a real ad, even the beeping wouldn't be enough.

Will you not

ruin our chances for clear a cell?

I just googled clear of sponsor the pod later.

Yeah, maybe, but I'm sure

you just don't bring it up.

No, no one will check.

All right.

You'll be right.

Check.

Cash in the face, young ones.

Get rid of those spots and the pus-filled bumps.

Now just do the and enjoy clearosil because we say at our show,

well, I need not do it.

You've done it yourself.

But you go do the slogan.

Oh, yes.

What is it?

I forget.

Tell me.

I know how to say it.

You tell me.

Pissy bottom and clear skin.

Pissy bottom and clear skin.

Get it while it's hot.

Was there any more questions?

I got one more ad read as well.

Ah, sure, sure.

Can you just do the Nike ad read there?

Yes.

They say just do it.

But sometimes it's hard to just

do it.

How does one just do it without spending $200 on shoes?

Really?

Really?

This is an approved ad.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Because that's probably the worst thing they would want you to say, in my opinion.

The only way to do it is to go into a Nike store, Nike Nike.

and spend copious amounts of gold.

They didn't give you the pronunciation

that's made,

you know,

that is made for cheap, but not made cheaply.

I think, I don't know, really.

So, you're telling me this ad read approved by the

piece of paper.

I'm reading the words that are given.

You're saying they're okay with saying they're made cheaply, they're too expensive, and have a lack of clarity on their pronunciation of the brain.

What it says there: I'm a queen,

I improvise not.

I read what is given to me by my high scholars and maesters.

We've got that other ad-read there as well, just for

of course.

Nerf.

Pretend you have a real gun and shoot your brother in the face.

Really?

But for fun, without the conversation.

I feel like with all of the bad press around the gun stuff.

The new Fortnite Nerf guns are on sale now for the kiddies and biddies.

You can get one at Kmart.

That's right, Queen Piss Bottom.

Shoot your brother in the face with a gun

at Nerf.

Because I have a podcast.

I have two podcasts.

And the idea of these being ads, like these are the craziest ad-rids I've ever seen.

Well, in this world, in the beauty sort of lifestyle world, we get a lot of ads.

And it's about authenticity, I suppose.

And just the Cocoa Pulps one?

Yes.

Crack barrel and punch.

A wonderful way to experience breakfast.

It's what I'm used to, but I desire something sweeter.

Something more in the cocoa realm.

The Ethiopians are known for their cocoa, and we perform slave labor to get it.

Really?

Really?

There's an acknowledgement of the bad practices of the chocolate industry on these ad reads.

It is not on my piece of paper.

The worst company in the world.

Is Nestle the makers of Cocoa Pops?

Who cares?

It says he had to mention it.

Wow.

But they're not addressed whether they're the ones that make it.

I believe it's Kellogg's.

But even then I'm done.

This is what's written down.

Nestle, like,

that's very libelous.

You know,

No, it's amazing.

I've never heard an ad read like this.

It's crazy.

You've done like five in a row there.

He's blowing my mind.

They're taking, you know, it's the PS2 era all over again.

Big swings.

Yeah.

Get David Lynch in the direct your ad.

It's that sort of thing.

That's crazy.

Looking up on Wiki, they have no connection.

Yeah, I know.

But why was it in the ad?

I don't know.

I mean, I presume it's to attack the competitor, but I feel like Nestle would sue over something like.

I have servants but i am but a slave to the adorees they also own pringles who does kelloggs yeah wow yeah

kelenova but who owns kelloggs kelanova kelanova

nova yeah no please go have a scroll zach i can't but anyway

now we have to get to the bottom of this i know it stops the podcast dead in its drags but you know that's how we make our money It's how we make that.

You still do that read for Foxtel there as well?

Yes, Foxtel.

I bet you would think it was too easy to just go to one streaming platform and be able to download it and pay for it through that.

With Foxtel, you need Hubble.

Go through Hubble for Binge.

Why do I have to go through Hubble for Binge?

Why can't I just go through Binge?

Hubble, I don't even know what Hubble is, but you must go through Hubble for Binge.

Subscribe to binge no longer does it have any shows from HBO in Australia

So what's the fucking point?

Find out, subscribe to Binge.

And guess what?

You can pay, but still get ads.

So, pay more.

Pay more for no ads.

It's fair.

We think

it's only fair that you pay, get ads, get annoyed by them.

What's this?

He's doing an ad read for Binge and Foxtel.

You can't just get binge.

Go through a Hubble for Binge.

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why must you go through hubble for binge

well i saw as well they've got max now and you can get max through hubble but i believe it's four dollars more if you get it through hubble than if you just what is hubble what is it

i know not this is the script it's what it says i just read what's given to me go through hubble for binge go through hubble for max pay more

what is hubble

turn it over there's more on the other side if you like hubble if you like binge you're gonna love Hubble.

You need to pass through it.

You must pass through Hubble to get to Binge.

Or KO.

What then?

What the fuck is KO?

A sports owner.

Certainly.

But you must go through Hubble.

An unnecessary step.

So, um, yeah, do it or don't.

Either way, be damned to the depths of hell.

I wish for death.

We're at that second impasse there.

I pray, I pray for this to end.

The weight of rule weighs heavily upon me.

And welcome back.

And welcome back.

Now, Mark, you were telling us, I mean, Queen Piss Bottom, you were telling us about

what hung and quartering is.

Of course.

We'd love to see a man's neck snap because we have not Hubble, we have not binge, we have not

Coco Pops to keep us entertained.

So the only thing that we have...

Cocoa Pops entertain you?

Well, just hearing that snap, crackle and binge.

But don't you feel like the snap, crackle, pop is nullified by the cocoa layering on the rice bubbles?

You know what I mean?

What do you mean it's nullified?

Well, I feel like the snap crackle pop is less prevalent in a cocoa pop than it is in a rice bubble.

A rice bubble and a cocoa pop are the same, dear, but they have been kissed with the taste of brown.

Are you hearing this shit?

Zach said deep research on Kellogg's parent company.

Okay, so what I've got so far.

Did you not hear what he just said?

Say exactly what you just said.

And then

I said

cocoa pops are the same as rice bubbles, but they've been kissed by the taste of brown.

Yeah, are they not?

The The snap, crackle, and boom.

And my belief is that a cocoa panel.

And that's in an official ad raid?

No, no, crazy.

This is just a light-hearted conversation.

Okay, so

it turns out.

Oh, wow.

Zach, please.

This is a podcast, man.

Don't go deep lore.

Tell us now or be damned.

Calod is owned, of course, by Calanova, which was recently acquired by Mars Inc.

Now, Mars Inc.

doesn't just own Calanova.

It also owns, it has three different areas.

It's got the snacking, food, and pet care area.

So, Mars obviously has all of its MMs, Snickers, Twix, that sort of thing.

Also has Orbit and Extra, the chewing gum.

They also have food brands.

They own Kellogg's, but also Ben's Original.

The Rice.

Yep, the Rice.

And they also own a lot of pet care brands.

So So pedigree, whiskers, that sort of thing.

And who owns them?

They are owned, funnily enough, by the Mars family.

Now, the Mars family.

The Martians?

I'll keep digging into this, but you carry on.

They are bigger.

It's not important, sake.

No, no, no.

I think this is important.

I mean, what we're seeing here is,

you know, the use of branding and IP in order to cover up the fact that huge amounts of the food, snacking, and pet food industry is owned not just by one company, but one family.

Now, what that means in terms of scarcity, in terms of

is really fascinating.

Now, I do have to dig back into the research, so if you can keep reflecting on his character, I'll get back to you in a few moments.

All right.

So

I was quite enjoying that.

It gave me a bit of a break.

Tell me what hanging quartering is.

Well, it's the what that's oh yes you wanted to know what it is because i was telling you that you know it's our only form of entertainment to see the life taken from a man but then see them disemboweled because there's also they cut in four yes but there's the gutting before that

they're hung

gutted first which is so after their neck is snapped while they're hugging their belly hung hunging you know they're hunging

A man

past tense and current tense.

Hung.

Present tense.

A knife is taken, and their belly is sliced open by the gutter.

Now we're thinking of gutter, we're thinking of downsizing yet again, making the because you've got a specialty gutter, yes, at the moment, but we're thinking of one job for all three.

Yeah, makes what year is it?

It's 2025.

How do you exist?

I exist in a small pocket of the world.

Called Melbourne.

Yeah.

West Brunswick.

It sort of just happens, you know, just on my.

When were you born?

I was born 1984.

So Mark was born in 1988.

So you're five years old.

Yeah, why not?

But you know, you're not from like the

French

revolutionary.

I don't know.

come on man that is not bring it mark they're gutted their guts are spilled for all to see then

they are cussed have you ever hung and quartered someone i did not get my hands dirty i leave that for better men to perform like robbie williams yeah

I leave that for the producers of better men, better man to do, who love it.

I've enjoyed this.

I think it's great.

This is is love to lose.

You lose what, a hundred million.

Now, we're just going to cross back over to investigative journalist Quill Award-winning Zach Rowan, who's breaking down the corporate conglomerate.

Obviously, I'm doing this in real time, so I want to be very clear.

We can't draw any editorial sort of assumptions from this or conclusions.

I'm just in that process of the research.

But what we found here now

is that Mars Inc.

is owned by the Mars family.

Let me tell you a little bit about the Mars family.

The Mars family

was started,

they're a very private family.

They're a very private family.

They are ranked as they were in 1988, they were ranked as the richest family in the United States.

They've now fallen behind the Walton family and the Koch family or the Koch family.

Well, the Koch family, that's how you say.

Of Goggins fame.

They're also very private.

Most of them, they never do interviews.

Few are seen in public, with the exception of Jacqueline Mars and Victoria B.

Mars.

So they own Coco Pops?

They own Coco Pops.

They own Coco Pops, yes.

Yes, they own Coco Pops.

Of course, their great-great-grandfather, Franklin Clarence Mars, started Mars Inc., which is, we don't know for sure because it is a private company, but we believe it is the third largest private company.

What was the first thing they did?

Where did they get their wealth?

Was it the Mars bar?

But the railway?

Probably, but I will tell you, in 2006,

the Mars family was among 18 billionaire families starting in the 1990s who continuously lobbied Congress to eliminate the estate tax.

So that's where some of that chocolate money is going.

And I also wanted to note that as of April 2020, the combined private fortune of the family members was estimated at around $126 billion.

Wow, that's

a lot of big bucks.

Yeah, that's where those Ben's Rice, that Ben's Rice is going.

That Ben's Rice money.

That's a lot of Ben's Rice.

Very interesting stuff.

Now, I guess our last question, Zach, is...

What are you listening to at the moment?

Yeah.

Every day I listen to the last song my mother played for me.

I can't

have it recorded.

You can cut your head off.

She sung me a song.

She used to play a small instrument, a humble instrument.

Lindsay, if you've got like some

dramatic Game of Thrones type music.

You're even just like a simple, like a simple guitar or like harpsichord or anything in that realm.

Epic or

yes, I hear it in my mind.

Turn it down a tiny bit.

I hear it in my mind every night.

Well, how can you hear it?

She never recorded it.

It plays inside my mind.

Let me play it for you now.

Here I go.

It's also, I believe, I think

it's been in other episodes.

Yeah.

This is the last song my mother played for me before she went to work.

The last song I heard, but not the last time I saw her face.

The last time I saw her face was the day she was hung and quartered by your mother.

What?

The day that

I revealed.

I decided I would kill every one of the piss bottoms.

I'm confused.

You thought it was the black plague that killed your sons?

No, it was me.

Really?

Yes.

Are you the black plague?

No.

No, I gave them them tonsillitis.

How?

I got tonsillitis and I gave them kisses.

I don't think tonsillitis is transferred that way.

Oh, okay.

And then I um and then I poisoned them all.

I poisoned them.

My partner, my wife has tonsilitis at the moment.

We've been kissing a lot.

I never seem to get it.

I

also poison them.

Oh,

now you what

now I want you to speak for yourself, Broder Kelly.

I know that you're a hard-working man.

You came from working-class, middle-class roots.

You've built this empire, this podcast empire on your own.

But I'll tell you how you've done it.

You've done it by laying with this evil person.

But here's the biggest twist of all.

Oh, right.

He's pulling off a mask.

Okay.

I'm your mother.

To be continued.

No.

Yeah, we can go with it.

To be continued.

To be continued here.

I'm your aunt.

To be continued.

I'm not your mother.

You're my

To be continued, never.

No, no, we can continue.

If it doesn't work,

we can go continue.

I want to do an elite of Battle Angel.

This just got even deeper.

You've been listening to the Auntie Donner podcast.

Thanks for joining us for another rip episode brought to you by Auntie DonnerClub.com.

See you next week.