Two German Brothers

A listener production.

Today, in this very special episode, we capture Mark's visit to a strange new land.

If you want to see the visuals of this, go to the Auntie Donna Club powered by Patreon for some cool other stuff too.

Enjoy.

Here we go.

You listen to the Auntie Donner podcast, the greatest fucking podcast in the world.

the Auntie Donna podcast for quite a while because often what happens on this podcast is

I

I have to interview two just crazy off-the-wall characters who love to

shit

all on me and over me and rub that shit into my tummy and into my face and my beard and then take photos of me covered in shit while I'm sleeping and then post them on very specific subreddits and then link me to it afterwards once they've sort of hit the hot, you know, if you go to like top posts of all time,

they're all just on the top, and you know, just stuff like that that I'm dealing with on an

hourly basis.

And I needed a break.

And what better kind of break is there to take

than

the land of sausages

and

what else?

Other stuff.

Later hosen

or some sort of overall

overall suspender.

Later hosen?

I don't know.

Well, let's find out.

I've booked a Kentiki tour

to go

somewhere, Germany.

I'm going to Germany.

I'm on the bus right now.

And now I'm off the bus at the hotel.

I'm checking in.

And

I used my brother's credit card

and I don't have that on me.

And they're not letting me check in because the name, the ID needs to match the name on the credit card.

And I'm fucking flipping out here because of the time zone difference.

My brother's sleeping.

So I'm waiting in the lobby.

Oh, are you okay?

Do you need some help there, little boy?

Hello.

Hello.

Oh, hi.

Hi, how are you going?

I'm good.

Nice to meet you.

Who are you?

Hello, sir.

My name, hello.

Hello.

You were saying something about how you don't like to do your podcast?

No, I love to do my podcast.

Why don't you like to do your podcast?

You have to do your podcast.

It's a part of your life, you know?

Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.

It's replaced radio in many ways.

Do you know what I mean?

It has replaced the radio.

Do you know?

This is the short wave, the long wave.

Now it's all digital, you know?

Yes.

Digital airwaves.

So you just connect with your Wi-Fi, to the local Wi-Fi, you listen to your podcast.

It is no longer the radio waves.

And the radio waves, they used to travel all the way across Europe.

You are puny and small, and your shoulders...

Shoulders are not broad.

And so I can tell that you are from abroad.

This is very good, the way he has described you as from abroad, abroad.

This is a mastery of the English language, not even his first language, you understand.

It was efficient in shop.

You know, this is how he does it.

Now, me, I am quite slim and Zveld.

So you see, he is bigger, stronger, broader.

This is because

he is from the East.

I look clean and leash.

He's from the East.

He comes from a place.

There are more serious people.

There are more serious people there.

He's strong.

Strong.

But we are from, essentially, to tell you, we are from Deutschland.

Yes.

So I'm from the West.

I'm more of an artist.

You know, I like to dance.

I like to party.

This is my brother.

He's from the East.

Yes.

He's a more serious man.

Serious and broad and tall.

Broad and tall.

I'm slim and thread.

You would see me in some sort of Olympic sport.

And girls, that is Deutschland.

See me.

I'm not about the Olympic sports.

I support it.

I always support my brothers in the Olympic sport.

Surprisingly, do quite well in the basketball.

But I'd much prefer to go to a sex party, put on a rubber glove, shove it up a person's horse with consent, you know.

And that is not beyond me, so with his broad shoulders.

I can say, put it right up there.

Do you understand?

We are both from different sides of Germany.

This is contemporary, though.

We are contemporary brothers.

Contemporary brothers.

We are allies in NATO.

But this is like

this is the ongoing effects of the divide.

So he is

serious,

you know, serious man.

Yeah, seriously.

about this sport.

I work for BMW.

Yes.

Whereas I'm a Svelte man.

I'm a Svelte man.

I wear like a mesh shirt.

Yeah.

You know, my shirt, you see my nipples.

And this is, you know, I would walk around, but I don't do the mesh shirt anymore.

Now I look more like a, you know, sort of, just I chuck it together.

So it's some 90s sort of blue jersey.

And I work for BMW, which stands for Beirisch Motor and Werke.

Please don't tell me you're trying to get into

this club.

No, no, no.

Oh, what you're going to say now?

What do you say?

Just say it.

Can you help me get into just say it?

Can you help me get into

the club?

I'm just trying to check in.

Yes, but then you're going to say to me, I'm just trying to get into just say it.

Can you help me get it?

Just say it.

If I say it, will you

essentially leave me alone?

Just say it.

Just say it's a good sentence.

Can you help get me into the club?

Which club?

So the sex club?

No.

Not the sex club.

This is a private.

You'd need a woman.

What?

You can't go to the sex club as a single man.

You'd have a whole group of single men following every woman.

No, you need a woman to get into the sex.

But then, what do you want me to ask?

It's a club.

You know, the famous club in Berlin.

What's the famous club?

You know, the famous club.

Everyone comes here.

They're always asking about the famous club in Berlin.

Yeah.

You don't want to shop the club looking undheimlich.

You understand what's going on?

Unheimlich?

Do you understand what we're saying here?

Like the creepy is what we'd say.

Um unheimlich.

Oh, I think it's just

all black.

The caterpillar caterpillar from Bugs Life.

You don't Grueselich.

Grueslich.

He's Googling German words.

I don't know why.

This is a German man.

He speaks German flesh.

Absolutely.

Yes, he's standing here with his laptop.

He's googling German words.

I don't understand why he wouldn't say that.

He's Googling English words all the time

for spelling.

Oh, right, okay.

Thesaurus and Sinusia English.

Well, I'm from Australia.

What is your name?

What is your name?

My name is Mark.

Ah, Mark.

Mark, what kind of sandal would you wear there?

Seva, what is it?

Just a sort of flip-flop sandal, yeah.

Mark, I've got a question for you.

You're Australian, yes?

Yes.

There was an Australian author who wrote a book I read it a few years ago called The Power of One.

Have you read this book?

It's Courtney.

No, it's a very good book.

You know, I didn't quite understand it.

It wasn't culturally something that resonated with Sicily.

No, please.

But I liked it.

It was...

I translated into Deutsch for me.

Well, I'm actually

Sicilian.

I'm actually Sicilian.

Oh, yeah.

First generation Australian.

A friend.

A friend.

A friend.

Until a certain point.

Yeah.

No, we share a border with, well, I think of the when I think of Italians, I think of the mountainous blondes.

I think of Janik Sina, who is a representation of both of us.

In that he is Italian, yeah.

Yeah.

But also he has the red hair and the pale skin of what it is.

The northern Italians, you know, they are, you know, they look more like us than they do like the Sicilian Sicilian.

Janick Sina, Sicily.

I say this often.

I say the Sicilians belong more to the Mediterranean than the boots.

You know, the boots is a boot.

Have you noticed your country looks like a boot with kicking a little football?

Kicking a football.

Yes, Mark.

He has a question.

You wear the sandals in

the strands,

floppy.

They fall apart and break

beneath your feet, yes.

They don't fall apart and not if they're well-made.

I'll tell you why, because here we make things stronger and better.

Yeah, Mark, yeah.

Stronger than Brown.

We have a brand called Boken Spock.

Mark, you must forgive my brother.

He's very serious.

He's from the East.

You understand?

We have brands like Birkenstock.

He says Birkenstock.

He's very serious.

And this is the cliché of the German.

But there's actually Germans from the West, right?

Germans who love art.

Do you want something delivered quickly and efficiently?

Deliver efficient.

Why are you always doing this with the foreigners?

Because they need to know if you want it delivered efficiently, you go DH.

This is a cliché.

Watch your post.

You know, they watch the diehard, diehard, they watch Diehard, and they see people like you, you know, doing that man is not serious, Siras.

That man, Hans Gruber, Hans Gruber, he's not even a German man, I think he was going to.

He pretended to be German.

He pretended to be of Deutsch.

Sorry, I'm talking to my browser here.

Dickard, Mark.

You have to understand I'm talking to my browser here.

Okay.

I'm sorry.

Why are you doing this with my friend?

He's my new friend.

I'm trying to invite him to the sex party.

I'm trying to learn if he is of the Deutsch.

He's not the Deutsch.

He says he's from Sicily, from Australia.

And you're talking all serious.

He's making a cliché in his mind.

Have you ever worn a Birkenstock?

Have you worn a Birkenstock?

It's very comfortable.

Not at first.

Not at first.

Have you warned him of this?

Not at first.

At first, you put it on.

No, no, but this is the thing, Mark.

You know, when you put on the, you know, put on the Birkenstock, it's not at first comfortable.

Why am I walking on the cork?

Walk on the cork, you say.

You know, walk on the cork.

This is people say to us, they say, and we tried to introduce it to, you know, the Netherlands, we tried to introduce it to Europe initially, it's American stock.

And they say, why would I walk on the cork?

Mark, who's your favorite mark?

Listen,

brother, can I just do the punchline to walk on the cork?

I tried to do the punchline to walk on the cork.

What do I say?

Well, I just try to say, you know, well, no, but it gets more.

Can I do the punchline?

Yeah, sure, sure.

Sure.

So they say, why walk on the cork?

and we say, well, it gets more comfortable with severalware.

That's the punchline.

Ah, yeah.

We have a very different thing.

It's efficient.

Efficient.

Okay.

When you're looking at a wind farm.

Do you like them?

They're so good, yeah.

Wind farms?

Yeah.

Who's your favorite company to make them?

No, when you know that they are going to be made for a long time and not fall apart.

Part.

My favourite is this little wind farm I'm doing for yours.

The wind farm.

Green energy.

This is a green energy.

What company would you use?

I don't know.

I would do Feisenkrupp.

Oh, okay.

This is man.

What he is doing here is he is looking for the different German companies and he is telling you all of the works.

Do you know what they all have in common?

What does they have in common?

They are efficient.

Right.

But he has a second.

Do you understand the difference between him and I?

You're from the West.

I'm from the West.

And you like sticking your hand up people's asses at night.

Well,

he's fancy sometimes.

Right.

Well, yeah, I'm sure it tips over into the morning.

I also make documentaries.

Pardon?

I also make documentaries about...

Do you know what happened in 1989?

Oh, yeah.

I saw my brother for the first time.

I turned one years old.

Oh, very good.

No, very good.

Very good.

That's good.

That is true.

This is true.

You're Gabbutzdag.

I know now you're avoiding...

Your Gabbutzdog!

Gabbutzdag.

Your birthday.

Yeah.

Birth dog.

Birth dog.

So So tell me, what are you going to refer now to the collapse of the world?

The falling of the wall and the fall of communist race.

I had never seen my brother before this.

Soviet Union.

You understand?

I had

never seen my brother.

Are you twins?

No.

No.

And we were

born after 89, he in late 89, me in

91.

So we are

same parents?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Do you understand here when we say that we had never seen each other before the fall of the wall?

Do you see why?

No.

Because neither of us were

right.

When you think of their wall, what

do you think of?

When I think of the wall, when you think of a wall, mainly holding up roof,

holding up the ceiling.

If made by

Deutsche Company, they would stand for many years.

And this is what

the Berlin wall.

If you made a wall of Berkenstock, they would stand.

But the Berlin wall fall.

Yeah, but it's the Berlin Wall fall.

The The Berlin Wall.

Because taken down with German equipment.

They tried to do it with other equipment.

They had a couple of chips with it.

They said, this won't work.

No, they said, let us get a German Mercedes, a tractor made by Mercedes-Benz.

But you understand, see,

even though we have grown up...

No, I think I've explained it.

Mark, I have a question for you.

What are you doing in Germany?

You probably want to get into the club.

I don't know what club you're referring to.

I think you know which is the Boschemal.

The Boschemal.

No, the Berschemau.

The Boschemal.

The long lines are wearing all black ready to get in.

Okay.

What you do is you walk down to a rough area full of old plants and seeds.

And you head down a ramp into an old factory.

And you go, what is this factory?

It's strange to see a defunct factory in Berlin because

you would think, oh, all the other companies are efficient and running smoothly.

There's smoke billowing from their chimneys, making Berkenstocks and Krupp.

But you find a defunct factory in the corner of Berkeley.

Most likely on the east, you know, not to make assumptions of the east, but this is where it probably is.

And you realize this is where the Blitzkrieg happened, and this is the history here.

Rich in history.

Rich history.

Yeah.

And you go down this ramp, you knock on a door.

Yeah.

And you think, what could possibly be on the other side of this door?

There is no sign of life.

But you hear the thumping.

Not even here.

You feel it in your balls.

You feel the vibration in your balls

of a thumping solution.

You don't want that.

Dysompton.

Dyson is so strong that the vibration in your balls are harder and louder than any vibration you've ever felt.

Okay.

You don't even hear it.

But you look around, you say, this is a defunct factory.

This is a defunct.

I got disloc.

There's no one here in this factory.

Are you working?

Are you working well?

Yeah, I was working.

What are you doing?

I'm just waiting.

I'm literally.

We are waiting for a conference.

Oh, this is doing a conference.

On how to stick up the hand is an asshole.

That's a whole conference?

Yeah, I mean, we take sex club very seriously here.

Okay.

We do this.

You know, you'll probably go, this is my impersonation of Mark when he has a sexual intercourse.

Oh, yeah.

This is an accorp, by the way.

Yeah.

In Germany.

It's an accorp.

It's a core, actually.

So this is, you know, this is you and you have a sex.

Hello, monogamous partner.

I may put my willie in your vagina.

Probably to procreate.

Maybe to the procreate, right?

This is the impression of me having sex.

Hello, all the beautiful people.

Everyone here is beautiful no matter.

Excuse me, could I maybe put my fist in your asshole?

Yeah, sure.

Don't worry, I have a glove.

And then I put the glove on.

But you explain to him about the seed and the plants in the uh sure this is a different kind of club.

This is the sort of clubs that open from 12 12 p.m.

on the Thursday yes and it closes on maybe on 2032.

2032.

You understand?

This is a different sex club open, you know,

not it close.

They have to clean up the com yeah spoiler alert club they have to clean up the comm.

This club never closes.

Spoiler alert.

This is not a defunct factory.

Right.

Well it is it was sure it was it is it it was once a factory for you know perhaps making metal metal or concrete or perhaps I was making the wheels for the trains.

Yeah, you know they sent all the train wheels industrial we are in

we are an industrial hub.

So this is so I just need to make it clear to you my my brother is talking yes of a defunct factory and when he says it is not a defunct factory this is semantics you know?

It is not a defunct factory in the sense that...

It could have been Rhein metal.

But it is a defunct factory.

In the sense that there is no longer the original factory work.

This is all fascinating stuff.

Do you understand the sort of things they would have made there, maybe?

Wheels, maybe copper metal, copper.

Wheels for a Lufthansa plane, perhaps.

Have you seen the gold plating?

No.

Perhaps they were plating in gold

things.

Yeah, you know, sure.

Perhaps maybe the Porsche.

Gold doesn't really.

It's the the bonnet for a Porsche.

It's a bonnet for a Porsche.

Look, this is all fascinating stuff.

Mark, I think you are about to guess what is this club.

What?

I think you are about to guess what is it.

Sorry, I gave it away.

You are about to guess what is happening in the

Funkt Factory.

You walk to the door, you see the seed and the plant around it.

It is overground.

Yes.

Overground, weeds, thickets.

You know, cickets.

It looks like it could have been in runes.

Yes.

Runes.

In runes.

Yes.

But something is different

about this factory, for you feel a thumping in your bosch.

You see

the light emit just ever so slightly through the dusty windows.

You knock on the door.

Knock on the door.

A man opens, he is tall and dressed in broad shoulders.

Just a crack.

He's dressed in just a crack.

Just a hugo boss.

You know, do you see this is just a crack of an open?

He's this well-dressed man.

You see, just the sliver of a man.

You see the hugo boss that my brother talks of.

And you say, this is a well-dressed man, but all I see is a sleeve of all cracked.

He looks you up and down, he looks up and down, yeah, and you say

hello,

and you're out of the club.

What you didn't get in defunct factory will not lock.

No, that is not what you say.

Let me do this for you.

Yeah, open the door, knock, knock, knock.

Hello, Vigettes.

Hello, how are you?

Good to see you.

You said hello.

You just said hello.

May I come into the club?

Absolutely.

Thank you.

Unspoken.

Did you say my balls?

Unspoken.

Unspoken, the body language.

No.

You have taken something in your balls and you said this something in my balls makes me uncomfortable.

And he can see this.

He sees you crouched over.

He sees you uncomfortable.

Well, my balls are vibrating.

He's trying to get spas.

Let's try again.

You are back at the train.

I just want to get in my room and go to sleep.

You're back at the train?

No.

You go to your room eventually.

Eventually.

You walk down through the derelict area.

You're like, this is strange.

There's so many cickets everywhere.

There's cigarettes everywhere.

This is an industrial hub.

Why is there a defunct factory?

Yeah, plants and seeds.

Yes.

Plants and said, you walk down the ramp to this defunct factory.

It finds the door.

You knock again.

Yes.

He opens the door just a crack.

You see a sliver of match.

Try to go balls.

What do you do?

And the door is shut.

I didn't get to say anything.

I didn't even want to get in this car.

You respawn back to the train again.

I respawn.

You respawn in German.

So, Mark, you are getting upset and emotional, okay?

And while I am the more artistic of the brothers, I still find this emotion to be a little bit, you know, how do you say?

Of pudding.

I can't see myself putting my hand in your asshole right now.

Right.

You're not attractive.

So, just when you get emotional, just try to express it through maybe not whatever you're doing now.

I just wanted to have a nice sausage and a pretzel.

Oh, we do sausage, yeah?

And maybe a beer.

I'm not interested in that.

These are things our industrial, we are export

for large amounts of money.

Make sure you have a pretzel or a sausage before you go to this club, though, because you could be there for three, seven hours.

There's no food in there.

Pork knuckle.

Scold foods, there's very little alcohol.

Pork knuckle?

Sure.

So I'm going to give you an example of what I might do at the door.

You already showed me.

Knock, knuckle.

Hello.

Hello, how are you today?

Please welcome.

Thank you.

I have a question for you.

When is this club open until?

And then I go into the club.

Usually we don't express humor.

But in that instance...

That was a joke?

Well, he could see that I was from the West.

Right.

You know, he could see that I was maybe a little more lazy-faire.

This is what the French would say.

Right.

And you say, you know, I'm going to allow a joke.

Also, he's mine brother.

Right.

You must understand the man at the door is mine brother.

We are the man at the door.

Right.

Well, right.

You're the man at the door.

So the way to get in.

I am the man at the door.

So the way to get in is that you're

brother.

No, no, Mark, I think you are thinking too literally.

Okay.

We are the man at the door.

Do you understand?

He is the man at the door.

I am the man at the door.

I am the man.

Have I died?

Am I dead?

What are you talking about?

No, you're in Germany.

on beautiful.

Okay.

At the core.

Okay.

Berlin Accor.

Okay.

But do you understand if there's a door?

A door.

Metaphorical door.

Who is the man at the door?

My browser.

That's why I respect him.

I respect my brows.

He's the man at the door.

Let's try again.

Get off the train.

Yes.

You walk to you find a default factory.

Okay.

Yeah.

This looks like the factory from the Google image search that you did, like a little plebiscite.

You looked it up on the Reddit.

Yes.

Oh, and you've worn all your finest black clothes.

Yes.

Even though there is no textural difference between your pants and your shirt.

You think this is enough now?

But it is okay.

Knock, knock.

Gutenheim Meinbrooder.

We're coming.

To the club.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, my balls.

Step into the club.

My balls.

Your balls will explode.

They're vibrating.

Your balls will explode, Mark.

I've never felt my balls like this before.

What do you do now?

You're in the club.

I don't know.

I'm walking around.

Stop walking.

Move.

I move.

I move.

I move through the club.

I move through the music.

I let the vibrations that are happening.

It's now Sunday.

What?

It is now Monday.

Time to have McDonald's for breakfast.

Oh, my God.

That was so quick.

I didn't get to do anything in the club.

Mark, you're in the club for 72 hours.

What the fuck?

Time stood still for you.

Time work different in club.

Okay.

Because the only truth is the balls.

Right.

It's the vibration of the balls.

All right.

You understand this, Mark?

Yeah, I suppose so.

McDonald's?

Yeah, let's have an American treat.

Let's go to the oldest McDonald's in all of Berlin.

Of course, on the west side.

Is that a joke?

Yeah.

Or just a fact?

Well, during the Soviet occupation of East Berlin and the east of Deutschland,

there was no Americanism in

the right-hand side of the West.

Well, the West thrived

with the late mid-century capitalism, the East was forced to give all of its labor, all of its

needs, all of its train parts to Mother Russia,

sent away

and starved.

You see the difference.

This is the difference between my brother and I.

I think I zoned out.

You must understand.

The people that raised me

grew up with McDonald's, grew up with all of the benefits

of like 15th century capitalism.

My brother here, he was raised by the cold people that worked only to feed Mazarus while they starved.

Right.

See?

See, I can be funny like you.

Oh, okay.

This is a funny conversation, yeah?

Well, yeah,

to some degree.

Maybe not the degree that you realize.

This is my brother, you know, my brother, he was raised by a cold, cold woman, a woman who worked in a factory floor and never saw the benefits of her labor because all of those things were sent to Masorasha.

Right.

Not once visited the Brandenburg at all.

What's that?

You never got to see the Brandenburg at all.

What's that?

See, we are funny like you, Ma.

I don't understand where the jokes are.

The joke is that life could be so cruel to my brother and so kind to me.

Right.

You know, this is a joke.

There's a bar in Melbourne called Berlin Bar

where

you'll get ushered into either the east side or the west side.

And in the east side, you have to sit on milk crates and drink off of bathtubs, upside-down bathtubs.

But on the west side,

it's nicer and there's a chandelier.

You understand that if I was English or perhaps American, I would be offended by this.

Oh, but because I am German, I think nothing of it.

Okay, I think, why would you do this?

I hear you say that, and I say, What is the factories that I could begin that is efficient?

Last time I was in Germany, I watched Star Trek Into the Darkness.

Last time I was in Germany, I was a boy.

You're in Germany now.

Yeah.

I'm a boy, truly.

What do you mean?

This is a performance artist.

You're a boy?

Am I not a boy?

Are we not all boys?

Well, no, I mean, I don't know.

I don't know how to answer that.

You should come to my concert tomorrow where I'll be exploring such scenes.

Okay.

Give him a flyer.

Oh, here, I have a flyer.

I printed it with, you know, like a photocopier.

It's very efficient.

Efficient, but also charmingly retro.

Did you know?

This is my browser by the way.

What are your names?

Yeah, we haven't worked it out yet.

Go.

Oh.

Puma is from here.

Puma, you know, the Puma.

Puma?

Puma.

You go Adidas and all those.

We have Puma.

We have Adidas.

Adidas is your fan, is it not?

Yeah.

Do you know Fanta drink?

Yeah.

I know Fanta Drink.

While you are here,

you must have to try a fun drink.

We must have Fanta drink.

You must have a Fanta drink.

We have the beautiful Fanta drink.

It's more tart than your version.

Oh.

At some period, we rejected

some other drinks, and now we have Fanta.

Okay.

Now we have Safanta drink, Mark.

We are going to McDonald's now.

How are you Bols?

Did we go to the club?

Yeah.

This has been a wild,

wild first day in Germany.

Yeah, you went to the club.

That's fucking crazy.

Here we are at McDonald's.

Oh, my God.

I'll have a.

Maybe let the Germans order first.

It's a little bit different here.

You order first?

I will have

a hamburger.

I will have have perhaps a fillet of fish.

Okay.

And, of course, a fan to drink.

Right.

You understand the fan to drink?

Yes.

I will have a fan to also.

Yeah.

Do they have the McRib?

No.

This is a limited time only.

So how's it doing?

Is the Grimmer Shake?

You could get the Grimmer Shake.

I don't know.

All that dairy will make me

just get a cheeseburger or something, Mark.

We don't have all the time in the world.

Can I get a like a break?

I mean, if it's breakfast time I'll have a I'll have a mighty muffin.

You know I've never noticed his beard before.

What do you mean?

What do you mean you never noticed?

You've got a strong beard.

You look almost Sicilian with this beard.

I am Sicilian.

And I thought you were Australian.

Well I'm first generation.

Oh

your parents moved to Australia.

Why?

Because of work.

Work?

There was no work.

Why was there no work in Europe?

Oh, doesn't matter.

Doesn't matter.

Forget about that.

We don't talk about that.

Okay.

So, Mark, you want to get the burger?

Yeah, I'll just get what you guys are having.

Look, I gotta be honest.

I went on this vacation to get away from

two

music characters just talking over the top of me.

Alright, so this is because we are quite similar to your South African brothers.

How do you know that?

Have you told us?

That's all about it at the club.

I don't.

I have no recollection of this club.

You said there were two South African brothers always talking about Power of One, always talking about how hard it is.

Well, Mark, here is a big reveal.

We are not our South African brothers.

Oh.

We are the men at the door.

What does that mean?

What does that mean?

And you, you too are the men at the door.

I am?

You too can be the man at the door if you embrace the throbbing, the throbbing vibrations in your bals.

Because, Mark, you never left the club.

I'm still in the club.

You've been here five minutes.

Oh, man.

You have just stepped into the club.

I shouldn't have had all that.

I should have drunk all that Fanda and eaten all that sausage.

I think maybe it's gotten to my brain.

All sorts of ketamine.

Well, yeah, I did a lot of ketam.

All sorts of ketamine's a twig.

That's it.

Now you are mine brooder.

Hey guys, Broden here.

Just want to apologise for my accent in this podcast.

I should have put some thought into it.

It's unacceptable.

Anything else from you guys?

Hey, Zach, yeah, I did slip into French from time to time.

I want you to know that that was because in my mind, my German guy occasionally goes to France.

He did a summer in France and picked up some of those idioms.

Also, I was going

for a southern German accent different to that's and so was Broden.

Hey guys, it's Broden here again.

Just want to apologize for the periods where I just started doing South African.

No excuse.

It's fucked up.

And look, I'll endeavour to do better.

But back to the brothers.

Mark, man.

Hello, Mark.

Hello.

We are the men.

We're the men.

That's a door.

Okay.

The hotel has been closed for seven years.

How long have I been in Germany?

You have been in this club for 14 or six years.

Mark, you're a 50-year-old man.

You have a wife and children in the upper levels of the club.

Oh my gosh.

That's a door.

The men in the door ruined my life.

I just came on a kentiki tour to get away from the South African sands.

The man is up starting a family in Germany.

That's adore.

But Mark, here's the secret.

If you step out of the club right now,

it will only have been like a second has passed.

Okay.

This is the magic of the club.

But if you leave it another two minutes, then all of the time we'll have a step.

Where's the exit?

Where's the exit?

Where's the exit?

Mark.

Where's the exit?

The door is the exit.

You need to talk to the man at the door.

We are the men

at the door.

And we will be back for part two of Mark's epic German holiday.

Let's find out if Dorman sustains off the club and spends eternity in Berlin.

Or if he's just been there a minute and he gets to that hotel, figures out that little concierge mix-up that he's had with his brothers crazy.

Well, we've said it, we've promised it to our audience, and so now we mark it.

I think your accent is pretty good, bro.

It does.

Give us a couple months.

Give us a couple months before we get to it.

We are the man

at the

door.

Minutes a door.

We're done here.

We're done.

Out.

Out.

Out.

Out.

Oh, look here.

No, it's the song finished.

Now, now we are done.

You've been listening to the Auntie Donner podcast.

Thanks for joining us for another rip episode brought to you by Auntie DonnerClub.com.

See you next week.