Kris Kringle 2024 (Feat. Tom)

A listener production.

Wow, wow, wow.

We are so, I mean, me in particular, so excited for KK this episode.

KK is my favorite episode of the whole year.

I love my friends, I love the spirit it brings, and I cannot wait to get stuck in and give each other our gifts this year.

Stick around because this one, it's going to be a fun one.

You're listening to the Honey Donner podcast, the

Welcome, welcome, welcome.

Are you seeing the mic?

I am.

The mic is in front of me.

Well, you want me to do the whole podcast like this where I'm peeking and shit?

Clearly not.

I've got great mic technique.

You've started me.

I was in a fucking good mood.

Wow.

And now you've put me in a.

Now I'm just

going to cheer you up.

Maybe Chris can be a little bit more.

Just a bit closer.

A bit closer.

Man, every fucking...

So I tried to...

I was ready to come back on board.

Did you not see that happening?

The positive energy coming back.

I couldn't hear it.

Why don't you start us off then?

Alrighty.

Fuck wit.

Well, it's a special day.

You're not at me, and you've gone back further from it.

Oh, you know what?

You're right away from the mic, Brodom.

He's trying to trigger you, Mark.

Don't let him trigger you on your special day.

He is, he is.

He's getting me.

He knows that.

Mark, he's pushing your button.

It's a special day, Mark.

Just ignore me.

And you know what?

And you can't get me.

You can't

use my button.

Speak into the mic.

See?

I just blow it off.

Off my shoulder.

Yeah, but your mic technique has been bad.

So

maybe you should listen.

Maybe you actually should take it on.

No, you know, I think it adds a certain three-dimensionality.

Welcome to Christmas Kringle.

Oh, he is a bit off the mic.

Christmas Kringle.

You're fucking off the mic.

You're telling me I'm off the mic while you're off the mic.

I was defending you and then you came for me.

I didn't come for you.

You come for me.

You said I'm bad at my mic technique.

I never said that.

I said, maybe sometimes just, you know, think about it.

And I said, that's a choice.

Ever since a Burt Kreischer, I try to add a three-dimensional

Chris Kringle is a time of third year doing this beautiful tradition.

If this was, if this tradition went to university,

didn't take any gap years and didn't fail any subjects

and was studying a three-year course.

Would I be about to graduate?

Yeah, it'd have a bachelor.

It'd have a bachelor in Chris Kringle.

And about if it's if it's going through uni today and it's doing an arts degree, maybe

$500,000.

Oh, here he comes.

Oh, here he comes.

Here he comes.

Always got to go on about the fucking hex debt, mate.

Always about the hex debt.

Yeah, absolutely.

I think it should be less.

Always about the hex debt.

I think, you want to know my opinion?

Um, you want to know my opinion on hex, yeah, that's and just on general things, yeah.

I reckon woke gone mad, okay,

okay, woke,

woke, mob!

We haven't done 3AW, save it for 3A, save it,

save it for 3AW where the satire is clearer.

So, uh, every year we uh we get together, we uh do a secret center.

This year, right, we did things or a KK, um, we did things a little bit differently this year, so different.

Usually, we do an automatic email situation.

Joinnames.com.au.

A computer decides who

we will be buying gifts for.

But this time we did it, we went a bit more traditional.

We went more analog.

We wrote our names on a piece of paper.

We drew them out of a hat.

But also the way you were doing it last year, I think, is wrong.

In what way?

Well, you were like, we never find out who gave our gifts to whom.

Well, that's the whole idea of secrets.

It's one way to play it.

Yeah.

Yeah, one player to play, shove fucking present up my ass.

No, that's not a way to play Chris Kringle.

If someone plays it that way, then it's a way to play Chris.

Well, I have to apologise to my auntie, gay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But also, that depends on the gift.

If you're given, say,

spatula.

Right.

Yeah.

Don't stick that up your ass.

A lot of actually words today already.

Bachelor, spatula.

Already.

How quick into this podcast yeah and kk is spectacular

it's an actual actual what yeah and say acua whatever i don't care man um i'm sorry no it's not your fault it's not your fault i'm sorry because let's just get down to the brass tax of it all um yeah is there a tax on brass

there would be yeah as soon as you said that i mean as soon as you said it i was like all right i was coming in with like because the brodin did it i thought yeah i'll embrace this sort of you know static vibe.

That's the bit.

And then I thought, no, shut it down, I won't do that.

And then as soon as you said brass tax, I then genuinely wanted to interrupt and be like, what?

Where did, you know, where did you come from?

Do you know it's not tax as in taxable income?

It's tax, T-A-C-K-S.

No.

Brass tax, yeah.

Can you tell us more?

The meaning of brass tax is details of immediate practical importance used in phrases to get down brass tax.

Why?

What's that?

What does it mean?

That made me more confused.

Let's get to the brass tax.

But what even is what even is that word?

Yeah, like

tax.

I'm going to be honest with you, I just looked up brass tax and said that's how you spell it in the Merry Man.

Did you know this, or did you...

Is that why you Googled it?

Because you were like, I know this is wrong, but I need to be back.

No, I googled brass tax with an X and it came up brass tax, 1863 in the middle.

All right, because you said it like...

I want to be clear.

You said it like you fucking knew already.

The way it came across was

move it from the mic.

Barb all of a sudden moved back from the mic.

Oh, I see.

I see your favourite mic technique.

What happened to Barb on the heat

of the sigs?

What?

Jingle bells, jingle bells.

I believe this gift here is for one

Zachary.

And I think it's important to note is because we've gone analog, there was no wish list.

So it was an extra challenge.

It was an extra challenge.

No wish list.

No wish list.

And what was it?

Should we talk about the rules?

Before I open this, should we talk about the rules?

What are the rules?

There was no wish list.

The rules are: you're never allowed to know who got who what, and you're not allowed to guess or say it out loud.

The extra challenge this year, of course, is that we have to find the gift for them.

We have to find the gift for them.

We have to find the gift for them.

I'm sorry, I said talent.

All right, I just tripped on my words.

And if I'm going to be made,

you know.

Get closer.

I can't.

The mic stuff's killing me.

It's killing Badna.

Hey, can I just ask, and what are the other rules?

$10 minimum?

$10 minimum.

No, maximum.

Oh, maximum.

$10 max.

That's right.

$10 maximum.

Let's be clear on this.

What did everyone believe the pricing was?

I knew it to be $10 maximum, and I didn't go over.

I know what it is.

I promise you I didn't go over.

This is my thing.

I care not for the minimum or maximum.

I care about the person.

Because for me,

I think it's very easy to buy a good gift for someone.

All you have to do is listen.

Listen.

It's all about listening to that.

If you're...

And what's important to listening?

How do you make sure someone's listening?

What do you mean?

How's the best way to let someone hear you?

Speak.

Into.

Is this about my mic technique?

A little bit, yeah.

How much glassy do you want to pee?

I feel like I'm at such a perfect distance away from it.

And so if this is moving left to right, like I can't even fathom.

I can't even.

It's all in my fucking head now.

So now I don't know, like it's fucking me up, and I don't want to.

You've really fucked me

today, Broden.

You've really fucked me.

You've fucked my attitude and my joy for this.

And like, I started this tradition and now fucking, it's something that I just don't want to all over this mic shit, which is just not important.

It's not.

It's not important.

It's not.

On a podcast.

It's not.

It's

and it's important if I'm doing this, but if I'm here, it's fine.

And to fucking bring it up on KK of all days, of all days, my favorite day, a tradition I started, it's fucked me right off.

Zach's turn.

I just think it's a little rich coming from him after he took swipes of my mic technique.

I was joking.

I was jumping in on a little joke and then I let it go.

Yeah, okay, yeah.

For me, it's been

relentless attacks.

I wish I had the power to have you as my person and to have given you a book on microphone technique.

How good would that as an ending to this be?

Yeah, it would have been real fucking funny.

Now, who has what

I believe?

I believe, Zach, that gift is for you.

What else do we have?

Misspelled my name.

Whoever it was misspelled my name.

Oh, they spelt it as it is.

How did they spell it?

We go one by one, though, don't we, Mark?

This one.

We do, but we can hand out the gifts.

Okay, all right.

But it is all I wanted to say.

I believe this one is for

Tom.

Oh.

That looks like a gift for Tom.

To get a good gift is easy.

You just need to be a listener.

You just need to listen.

Don't fucking open it yet, mate.

Which is very interesting.

What do you need to be?

It's incredible.

A good listener.

Perfect.

Yeah, for, yeah, exactly.

That's our network.

Oh, and Broden, Broden has been given.

And Broden got his card.

So what happened before we recorded this is Zach Kay.

Oh, and this is from.

And there was an envelope in this room, and and he said, is this up for grabs?

Can I grab this red envelope?

Well, we can go to the wall.

And then walked out of the room.

The thing about KK is we don't know who are Secret Santa.

We don't know who gave what to who.

We don't know.

I'm just feeling like...

To speculate ruins the whole fucking thing.

Because I could do that.

That's a good envelope.

As a red herring.

I saw someone else had brought a red envelope already.

Well, where's the one?

Show me the one that you took out of the room before.

That's this one here.

Oh, yeah, there's another one here, yeah.

Fuck.

he's clever yeah i popped it over there um so this is my red envelope i just saw that someone had made one for you and i was like whoa hold up are these red envelopes up for grab yeah yeah yeah and this is from last year no i reckon you're still sure and we still have our gifts uh uh scattered about from the previous game because we were recording it yesterday we have the kellogs from the uh neutra grain month we have the fedora hats from big thick mark and uh and the ben one we got the nerf guns from chris kringle two years ago last year

two years ago, we have my

sandwich from this morning.

We have the DVDs that I got, whoever I had last year.

Me, it was me.

It was me.

Cold Feet, the series, British series Cold Feet.

And I can't wait to watch it.

Fantails, Valentine's Day shit, Roses from Valentine's Day.

Because we've recorded all of these in one day.

In one day.

We did a year and a day.

We've looked the whole way around.

Can I say, I just want to say one thing.

I don't often check the Reddit.

I don't try to read it too much because it can be a little...

You know, all the platforms can be a little.

It can be toxic.

There was one person.

I just have to address it.

Can I just address one comment?

It's stringle.

I want to say it's a bit of a picture.

And dude, it's your podcast.

There was one comment.

It's the Zach Show.

Well, no, I just mean in the Zach.

Y'all, plural.

Right, right.

Y'all.

It's us.

It's a girl.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yours.

Yeah.

And there was one comment on Reddit about us banking them a little while ago.

And there was one guy that was like, I presume guy, I don't know, it's one person.

And they were like,

I can tell when they're banking them.

And they're like, they've been banking them since this episode.

And I just want to say, the magician never reveals his trick.

But because of your confidence and arrogance, I just want you to know, listener, you were wrong.

You were wrong.

All right, so

you're going to be on Christmas to be doing that.

There's just one guy that was like,

because he was a bit like it's gone downhill since the point.

Irrelevant.

It's the thing that people forget is that the podcast has never been good.

Now, you're banked from day one.

It's been banked from fucking day one.

Not once in our lives have we recorded it weekly.

Once a week.

Are you fucking insane?

Hey,

who's tape?

Zach's got a brown paper.

I believe everyone has their gifts now.

Yep.

And yet, harder this year, no wish list.

No wish list.

No wish list.

Not that it's really played or a fish list.

Or a fish list.

No fish list either, but we've never had a fish list.

We wouldn't need a fish list.

Fishes cost more than $10, I guess.

Do you know who would have one?

Jiro.

Pardon?

Jiro would have a fish list.

It's Jiro.

Yeah, he does.

Yeah, a list of fish.

Is that a

sushi guy?

Oh.

Yeah.

I was thinking of Jiro Dreams of Cake or whatever it is.

Jiro Dreams dreams of cushion.

Jiro dreams of cake.

No, no, no, Mark.

It's Jiro dreams of cake.

It's a sequel?

No.

No, that's just him on his off page.

Fuck, I could go some cake.

Well, like, him just going to a cake shop.

And he's fucking had a gut full of dreaming about fish.

Fish for work.

I'm sure Jiro once had some cake.

Yeah.

He'd eat things other than fish.

Yeah, for sure.

Rice.

Rice.

Yeah, rice.

Egg.

Can I open my present?

Yes.

Yes, you're going to be the first to open your present.

Do you want me to narrate it as you open it?

Oh, no, I can narrate it.

Okay, but narrate it.

Now, what's important is that nobody knows who gave what to who.

Yep, nobody knows what.

Don't say that.

I generally don't know, except for Zach gave that.

I've just got to.

No, not necessarily.

I know.

I figured it all out.

But we're not saying it, and we're not allowed to talk about it.

Now, Zach, would you like to open your gift from us?

Firstly, I will just say I want to describe the gift to the listener.

Now, of course, the patrons at auntiedonaclub.com they can see the video but the listener i need to describe it it's a large brown paper bag with a flat bottom folded over on the top my name is spelt with pen in the top corner z-a-c-k

and because uh because people who don't pay for the patreon um uh usually they get their podcast for free this year we're going to punish you we're not going to actually say what the gift is we're just going to show it and we're going to react no no oh

no, you're getting punished.

You're being punished.

And so, if next year...

Mark is not speaking for the group.

We will be talking about what the gifts are.

I'm not going to punish.

There's a cost of living.

I thought we agreed to this.

No, Mark.

That seems whilst that seems, what's the bourgeois?

That's very bourgeois.

Bourgeois.

We try to give a lot of good stuff to our patrons.

I appreciate our patrons.

I'm not going to punish our listener who can't afford to come on Patreon.

Yep.

Patreon.

He's pissed off now.

He's pissed off that we want.

he you marked you genuinely want to do a podcast where we open visual gifts and don't tell our audio audience who we make this for

what the gifts are you just when you put it like that it sounds a lot meaner you've lost touch bro i know let this be a wake-up call

and it's it's gonna just give me just give me a fucking minute to just take it all in i'm sure i'll come around Zach's gonna open because we're at the 98 minute mark of this and I guess you can talk about what it is so I've opened up the bag

and let's get let's get some stuff out all right so

firstly oh

PT doggy donuts oh is that for a dog or for you

for my dog oh that's really nice

my landlord is listening I don't have my dog anymore now that looks like a

I just want to explain that the dog biscuit looks like a regular delicious looks

human biscuit I have eaten my dog's biscuits before a little bit and I'm like this is fine Zach, just make it.

Probably more it doesn't have onion in it.

It looks like a donut.

It's a flat dog biscuit, but it's got beautiful.

It has the Homer Simpson.

And my dog loves people food.

She loves going, give me some of that.

That's fine.

I'm pretending to eat this.

This is what I'm going to do with this.

I'm going to go.

Well, just make sure this Christmas that you put it in the right cookie jar.

Because I don't want to actually eat it.

You don't want to actually eat it.

No, I'm going to go.

And then she's going to go, give me some of that.

I'm like, not only am I going to give you some, I'm going to give you the whole fucking dog.

That's gorgeous.

that's beautiful.

Urine off dog and puppy.

Oh, wow.

There's a theme here.

And

odor out antibacterial pet wipes.

Wow.

Now, this is because my rescue dog, who was abused and neglected for

as long as I've had it.

That was very good stuff.

Yes, yes.

The opposite is true.

The opposite, the opposite.

I treat her very well.

But for the first seven or eight years of her life, means she has a lot of skin conditions.

She would anyway, but the neglect really added to a lot of skin conditions.

She recently has started getting

blood or liquid has started going to her ear oh my god so her um ears have started to look like 3d doritos

oh

like a for like a cornado yeah you know how they're like three-dimensional yeah i don't know what a cornado

they're similar but a 3d dorito is uh you can't put it's like a puffy yeah in a cornado you can you can put some shit inside it if you

but i was like maybe it's a better version of a dorito because you can put stuff in any the 3d Doritos are fantastic.

Anyway, her ears look like 3D Doritos at the moment.

They're puffed up with...

Oh, it's alright.

They're just like 3D.

Anyway,

and to treat that, she's on steroids.

Also, because she's trying to

bulk up at the moment.

She's up for

the next Marvel movie.

And

so because of the steroids, she's been pissing a lot.

And because, you know, I live, she's been pissing in

my apartment.

Not that if my landlord or my

do not talk about this on Reddit or anything, please, we won't, this is just between us because I don't have her

because I haven't got around to telling.

Anyway,

she's been pissing a lot and it's been a great strain to my mental health.

So this is a lovely thought.

And that is the kind of

is the kind of gift that i've been talking about someone's been listening yes someone's been listening to what's going on in your world and then they've given what are you saying i hope

it's about what are you saying

are you serious this is a mic thing are you bringing up the mic thing again i can't hear you yes you can

yes you can broden um i hope you get as

thoughtful and considerate of a gift.

How did you know it was Brody?

No, well, we don't know.

That is the spirit of KK and stop ruining it.

He's got a dog.

Broden.

Right.

So,

yeah, I'm opening mine.

Your gift.

Please explain

for the...

Because now I guess we'll get it.

So my narrative today.

Yeah, now we're just giving the people who don't pay anything fucking whatever they want.

It was a $10 max.

Yeah.

Yes.

I saw Zach come in here, go over to a bag that exists in this room and say, is this red envelope up for grabs?

Left the room, came back.

My gift is in a red red envelope where it says bro but then the the writer of it has sort of trailed off the writing has not had the energy to just kind of finish my speculating you're ruining the farm i'm not i'm just reading what i see and then a smiley face yeah i'm opening the envelope

uh it's 20 bucks in here oh my god

there's 25 bucks oh my god everyone's going over budget right and the budget was 10 bucks 10 bucks minimum but this is this okay more than than i know you like 25 bucks more than 10 bucks yeah oh yeah Thanks, Zach.

This is 25 bucks.

Well, we don't know who gave what to who.

That's about how much that was, genuinely.

Yeah, I was going to say, why are people going over budget?

Yeah.

Why are people going over budget?

I was only giving him cash.

I felt like I should up it a little bit.

That is.

Why have you both got cash?

What?

Why have you got cash?

I explained why I have cash.

Why do you have cash?

You want a poker game.

I'm trying, if you might, I'm trying to.

Well, I thought it'd be a good idea to use use cash to like budget.

Do you know who would love cash?

I've done that.

Do you know who no one accepts cash anymore?

Kids.

I got that cash for you, though.

I went to the bank special.

So you got a $5 note from the bank?

But we don't know who went to the bank.

And then I bought some lollies for me.

That's great.

Thank you, Zach.

That's lovely.

No, it's not.

I thought it would be funnier.

It's great.

It is very funny.

We have a folder, the queen on our note, and it looks like something.

Oh.

Right.

Uh-oh.

Oh, Oh, yes.

Whale.

A whale.

A little whale sucking a doodle.

My gift says, Dear Mark.

We know who this is from.

Well, we don't actually.

And the bag was $2 itself, so there's probably $8 worth of good information.

I didn't include that in the budget.

We don't know who included that.

Can I ask, did someone's wife help with this by any chance?

No, no, no.

Someone was here 45 minutes earlier because they thought it would take longer at Northland.

Yeah.

They actually just knocked it out.

It's a beautiful Tom.

It's a beautiful Christmas bag.

Very thoughtfully.

What's on the bag?

A Christmas tree.

What is a Christmas tree?

It's red and white striped, and on the other side, it has, I believe, what is little.

For a first-time listener, Mark, just what is a Christmas tree?

What's the Christmas tree, man?

What is a Christmas tree?

Because a listener might think a tree.

I don't think a first-time listener needs a Christmas tree explained to them.

You don't know that.

Of the podcast.

I think it's more if you don't know what a Christmas tree is.

I've had Christmas trees in the past.

Yeah.

It's a bit of a running joke.

A Christmas tree is a,

I guess

it's a traditional kind of, not serum.

You wouldn't say it was like part of a ceremony.

Is it a pleasure?

It's like a pine.

Pardon?

Oh, great.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like a pine

tree that you keep in your hand.

Oh, like a pineapple tree?

No.

They grow out of the ground.

So do trees, don't they?

Yeah.

I think we got it, Marcus.

Come on, man.

Come on, man.

I'm fucking up today, aren't I?

No, you're not going to be able to do it.

No, I've fucked up the mind.

I've got you, Father.

I fucked up the mic.

I triggered fucking.

I fucked Zach off.

I was trying to joke.

You got to pull it back, Broden.

Oh, man.

You've done a great job.

I couldn't even explain a fucking Christmas tree.

I'm so stupid.

Mark, here's five bucks.

Really?

Yeah.

Oh, that'll make you feel better.

Thanks, man.

Really?

Yeah.

But this was part of your gift.

You're right.

Give a bag.

Fucking sick.

All right, so.

I only gave you 50 bucks because I was like, that's the funniest thing.

Then I I was like, I don't want to give you $50.

I'm opening my bag.

And I want to say I'm very excited.

There's multiple things in there.

Oh, there's multiple things in there.

Okay.

Ooh, one thing I feel, it feels hard.

It feels like a toy, some sort of toy.

A hard toy.

It's a hard toy.

Yeah, I'm going to pull it out now.

Oh.

Oh,

it's a solar.

It's a solar novelty kitten.

Now, Marcus this year has gotten a cat.

He's a cat guy.

And now he's a cat guy now.

It has, but I'm a big cat guy.

And what does it do?

It turns on and off.

It needs the sun.

It needs the sun.

But it needs the sun.

But what is it?

What is it?

Superman.

It's like just a lamp.

Your eyes are lights.

Wow.

To guide you home.

Again, a great gift from someone who's been listening.

All right, yeah.

Because I talk about my cat.

I just gave him cash.

I love it.

We don't know.

First of all, we don't know who gave who one.

No, I gave Broden cash.

Well, we don't know that.

I'm sorry.

I just had a rough day yesterday.

There's nothing wrong with that.

You got me 25 bucks.

There's nothing wrong.

I'm not sure.

I wasn't going to give you my old.

I'll tell you the other thing.

Can I tell you what I was going to do?

And then I didn't know if it would be too...

I didn't know if it would be...

You know, when you're like,

because it's a surprise, it's the sort of thing I would have checked with you before.

But I was going to give you my old Woody Allen DVD.

Or Annie Hall or something.

Yeah, I was going to give you,

it was a three movie DVD.

As we talk, Mark is trying to get the solar to work by putting the torch torch on his mobile phone onto the corner.

We can get it to turn on by the end of the day.

That's not how solar works.

Why not?

It's light.

I don't think that's

photosynthesis.

I can feel the wavelength.

Maybe two more.

Maybe two more things.

Let's see what else we've got in here.

Let's see if they're all cat related.

It's a little bow tie.

For a cat?

No, just for wearing.

Just for wearing?

I didn't know there'd be so many costumes.

Put it on.

Yeah, okay.

The bow ties don't really suit you now because I've realized you haven't.

No.

Did the person who bought these when they went to Northland, was it like to get a certain thing or just some grab some shit?

I was going to go to JB High if I don't know who it was.

Funko Pop or whatever.

Oh, yeah.

But then I thought I'd get a bag from

the reject shop, and then there was heaps of funny shit.

Oh, I take it back.

That suits you very much.

Does it?

You're really sharp.

Yeah.

Thank you.

I believe there's one more, at least one, two more gifts.

Two more gifts.

Oh, I think I I know what this one is.

I go, oh, a naked Chinese-style chow min egg noodle, instant noodle.

I love instant ramen, and uh, whoever got me this has definitely been listening.

And I want to say the cash isn't necessarily a not-listening gift.

You may have heard Broden say, I don't know what I want for Christmas this year.

I wish I could pick my own gifts because people fuck it up every time they give it to me.

If that was something you heard, then cash is the ideal gift.

No, I had some cash in my drawer.

Okay,

I'm trying.

We don't know who, but it's not.

I'm going to stop doing the we don't know who if you're going to keep fucking every single time, just saying it was.

You know what?

I was pretty.

Really, what it was, Mark, was I was very committed to the bit of giving him a Woody Allen DVD.

Right.

And then I was going to put cash in that, and then I freaked out at the last minute.

I thought that's a bit offensive.

That's fair.

And I believe there's one more gift for Mark.

Spider-Man.

Well, you've gone over 10.

You've gone well over.

I've been fucking spoilt with the amount of gifts I've got.

You've got a Spider-Man, a cat, and some noodles in a cup.

And the bait.

And don't forget the bloody bow tie, mate.

And the bag itself.

And the bag itself, which I could reuse.

I can reuse it.

You must reuse because I know you like Batman, so I thought you'd like.

And I love, but no, but I also adore Spider-Man.

He's a web slinger.

Is that what he is?

Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's a.

Is that what he's slinging?

Look, he's so strong, he can bust out of his own way he did with the.

Mark, no, no,

it'll lose its value.

No, I don't, yeah, I don't care.

I, me, I like to play with my Tom.

How much do you spend on this stuff?

Not a lot at all.

You'd be very surprised.

Like, two bucks, four bucks, a dollar.

Yeah, maybe get his key stayed in.

Under 20?

No, yeah, under 20 for sure.

Well, the last gift, I believe, is from you.

That's so nice.

For dad.

And you wrapped it so nicely, Mark.

Whoever did the wrapping for Tom, when Mark did it, he's wrapped it in beautiful ropes.

It says from KKK.

Ropes.

No, it says from KK.

From KK, that was very...

Look how stupid it is.

Tiny, tiny ropes.

That's really cool.

It's very artistic.

Yeah,

Mark gives me presents every year for KK.

I have gotten you every year.

You got me for one year for Nerf Gun.

I know you got you.

I died Broden last year.

He got me one year.

He got me a cool race car.

I don't like the Rothkins.

And that day's Harold's son.

I don't like it.

Mark's really into rice.

But if that's what everyone wants to do, then fine.

I just got to.

I'm not saying who did it.

Yeah, I just got to get over my head.

No, we won't.

We don't have to do it.

No, I've got to get over it.

I've got to get over it.

No, because it just upsets i don't know who got what

yeah either do i but whoever got me this is really into ropes and sacks i think ropes and sacks yeah it's yeah the arts of shibuya yeah oh this is incredible though is this a special wrapping or is it like a what is this it's incredible someone describe it it's like a bag oh it's a bag

but it's a nice bag it's a sturdy bag it's a really nice bag it's um i think it's waterproof yeah it's like a very high quality sort of something We're not talking, if we're talking woolies, we're talking limited-edition woolies.

Yeah, I don't see it.

The ones that fold up into a little green bag, you know, the little green one that can fold up into a little

ball.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But very nice.

Think maybe something like the Paris scarf upsell.

It was a bag.

It was a bag, I see.

Genuine craftsmanship here.

There was a rope around it.

It was tied up with a rope, yeah.

And then here we have another bag.

And another bag.

Yeah, no, don't worry about this.

This is

a bag.

This is a...

Please reuse me, reuse, recycle, reduce, spend.

Good, good.

It's not part of the gift, but a beautiful message.

Why is there a baggage?

Yeah.

It was to.

I mean, look, we don't know.

No.

Well, it was me.

Is it a time of mark?

No, no, fucking fucking.

No, no, no.

It's on me.

No, it's genuinely on me.

I'm the fucking idiot for wanting to try and keep a tradition, to try and keep things fun.

No, I agree.

I agree.

And I apologize.

And it'll never happen again.

I got you this, and I got it for you.

Put some Christmas music on, Lindsay.

I got it for you because, once again, I listen.

Did Mark has given me a Collins book called World Atlas Illustrated?

Because for the last year, you've been talking about how much you love Atlases

so much.

This is so, and I thought it would be great to get you.

This is so cool.

This is embarrassing.

Fucking hell.

Why do you think he

last year you've been harping on every day?

I love Atlases.

Yep.

Oh, I can't wait to get home to my Atlas.

I thought I'd upstairs.

Stop.

Tom.

Yes.

You're going to shit your pants.

Mark, you fucking idiot.

What?

When I asked Tom a question he answers, get ready for your...

If you're listening, you want to hear shit coming out of Mark's asshole.

Mark, you fucking idiot.

Tom, yes.

What is your firstborn son's name?

Atlas.

You fucking idiot, Mark.

Atlas Artemis Sahariu.

You fucking idiot.

A-A-Z, as we call him.

Oh, man.

You fucking thought he was talking about Atlases in the fucking books.

Oh, man.

But you've been saying all episode how important listening is.

Listening.

You come for me for giving Broda money.

I know he needs money.

I know that he's lost a lot of

horses.

I gave that to you.

I didn't want to bring it up on the podcast.

They're getting closer every day.

But Broder loves the horses.

He's down at the tab.

Most afternoons, he'll finish workout off to the tab.

I didn't want to bring it up on the podcast, but I that was a very thoughtful gift from me.

And I need it, and I've got to duck out real quick, go down the tote, go down the tote.

You got to use that, you got to use that for the family, Broder.

I will, mate.

Don't worry, mate.

Buy groceries for the family with the bad.

Don't worry, mate.

I've just got to knock out real quick.

No booze, no gambling with that cash, all right?

I'm so sorry.

Me, I got a thought.

The first year with the cigarettes, and now, and now with this,

it's unacceptable.

i really thought because the first time i got

the greek type i thought your son's name was keto no no that's just a diet i've been doing oh fuck oh mark mark mark hey wait wait wait a minute maybe

lindsay when you're ready

this

is the magic of Christmas learning or fucking up spending time with

his apart if he hadn't have said every day my son's name is Atlas, here's a photo of my son Atlas, he's doing this, here's a video of him walking.

Would you have ever known something about your colleague Tom?

And

had we not done that?

I never would have known that he loved Atlases.

You fucking cut the music.

What?

You fucking idiot.

You idiot.

You fucked up so bad, man.

You need to carry that.

Just say again, Tom, his son's name is Atlas.

Yeah, I get that now.

But there's just...

But it doesn't mean he doesn't like Atlases, right?

Like, you like an Atlas.

It's very cool, actually.

Have you ever seen it?

And you love Atlases.

I've printed Atlas for years.

He's pandering.

Yeah.

But I think more of, you know, the Titan who was banished by Zeus to hold up the world.

Well, they're named after the same thing, Tom.

Yeah, I'm.

Your son is named after the same thing as that book.

I didn't know that.

And I think that's the most important lesson we can learn today

is that those books, because he held up the world.

So by the same token, Atlas is he holds up the world for us with these books.

Yeah.

So if Tom has learned a little bit about

a little bit about etymology and that sort of thing,

then is that not the most Christmas gift of all time you can have?

You're right.

Except for you, Mark.

I don't want you to think...

Sorry, I cut the music.

I don't want you to think

that you're getting off big out of this.

All right.

I'm trying to bring a little bit of joy to Tom after you got him such a disrespectful gift.

You disrespected him.

But

bring it back.

It's illustrated.

Christmas.

Christmas.

Great job.

No, please.

Great job, Mark, on hosting.

And I don't think we'll do it.

I don't think we'll do it next year.

Cut the music.

Cut the music.

We'll do it next year.

I don't think we'll do it.

I just want to say thank you so much

for putting together this whole KK thing.

As much as we love to joke with the audience, it's so nice to get this thoughtful gift by the very person I just gave 25 cash to.

You know, it's a really nice thing.

And Tom's gift to you was so thoughtful.

And I just think, thank you so much for.

Mark is handing Tom the cash that he won for playing poker.

Mark, you don't have to say it.

Give 25 bucks.

No, I can't take it.

I can't accept it.

I'll get it to him later.

Give it to Keto.

You've been listening to the Auntie Donner podcast.

Thanks for joining us for another rip episode brought to you by Auntie DonorClub.com.

See you next week.

Listener.