Party Quirks 14: Christmas Edition

A listener production.

G'day, podcast listeners.

It is well into the six weeks of Christmas over here at the Anthony Podcast, and we are playing one of our and yours most disliked games.

It's the most upsetting guessing game.

Special Christmas Edition.

You listen to the Honey Donna Podcast, the greatest fucking podcast in the world.

Bringing like a tack and sometimes a guest.

We hope you enjoy the motherfucking podcast.

Party quirks, party quirks.

No one wants to play party quirks, party quirks, party quirks.

Now, what shall we do before we stop playing party quirks?

Party quirks, party quirks.

Maybe the Beatles would have stayed together if they'd play

party quirks.

Merry Christmas.

Happy holidays, everyone.

Five weeks of Christmas over here at the Auntie Donna podcast.

As you talk, you're sort of

preparing to eat a cup of noodles.

A beautiful, spicy,

spicy instant ramen, which I'm very...

Not very Christmassy, if I'm being honest.

Why?

It's red?

Oh, you're right.

And there's some green.

Green from the...

Red, green.

This is Sandra in a spicy little cup.

We're trying something new this year in the 18 weeks of Christmas.

Beautiful, beautiful.

We're going to bring a classic that everyone loves to the world of the Christmas Auntie Donna.

And it's so exciting.

This is the first week of the five weeks of Christmas.

Yes.

What?

You just gave me a look like it isn't.

But I think every, every, it's the most exciting thing about the five weeks of Christmas is every episode will be the first week of the five weeks of Christmas until we decide on an order after the fact.

Yes.

Fuck, I thought that song was going to end.

Yeah, me too.

And it ramped up.

That's the Christmas way.

Just when you think it's over,

hop in the car, head down to Nana's place.

It's time for leftover tea.

Yes, so.

And it's also time for the most upsetting Christmas guessing game.

Which we the

of all time.

Which, the

acronym for that is

muckuck.

Muckuck.

Let's play that classic Christmas game, which I

recommend that you all do.

I recommend you do it on Christmas Day with your family, with your nana, with your

if they're not dead like mine.

Now, I might be wrong, but I don't believe

mine.

My nana has dementia, so she would not be able to remember.

Mine are dead.

Yours, what?

Well, one's dead, and the other nonna has severe dementia.

So would be bad as these Christmases are important.

What would be worse for my nonna to play as?

The host or the guest, do you think?

With the level of dementia that she suffers from?

I don't know.

I mean, when my family went through similar stuff, I can only talk from that experience.

I would probably not play it, not play it.

You didn't.

Oh, so when you did play it with your.

Or you didn't, you chose not to play it with your nana when she was there.

No, we didn't play.

I would say guessing.

Yeah, but yeah, it would take longer.

Just out of the two.

Well, guessing is better because to ask someone with that sort of issue to remember the character they're playing, to portray that character, to hold on to the concept of the game.

I think guessing, you're more likely to.

I'm not saying neither of them.

Playing the game with my nana in the last stages of dementia she had.

I would not advise, though.

What I would advise, though, is normalizing it and talking about it in circumstances like this is what a lot of people go through.

And there are funny moments, but there are also moments of great sadness.

Much like mug.

muck yes mukig mukug and its original form mug now mug if you if you love this episode of mukig

i believe there are episodes of mug coming out right now on grousehouse are there though on the youtube channel i believe that's why we're doing mukig is i believe tanya who is in charge of this sort of thing back to our office said to us could you do a mug

Forgive me, I just had a

noodles.

Crunch on noodles.

Slurpin and burpin' noodles.

Surprising burpin' munching and slurping.

I'm sorry, it's a delicious, spicy noodle, and it is the season, to be fair.

Well, let's let Mark Slurp and burp his noodles.

You're out of the room.

All right, I'm out of the room, and good luck to everyone.

Good call.

Yes.

I couldn't abide a man slurping and burping on a podcast.

If you'd like to hear more slurping and burping from Mark, you should check out his solo podcast, The Footy with Broden Kelly.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All right, I'm going to go out there, Slurpin' Burp.

Although, I believe.

I believe you've sued him on that name?

Yes, I sued him hard.

Well, and we're in the courts at the moment, but I'm not letting it get in between us.

I've said you should call it Slurpin' and Burpin with Mark Bernardo.

Yeah.

That was my advice from the start.

But The Footy with Broden Kelly is such a strong brand.

Yeah, the reason

he's worked hard to establish that brand.

And I don't want to be a bad person.

I've said it as hard to establish my brand.

It all makes sense.

It's a take mission, Zach.

You can have it.

Yeah, but I want to have a brain cow.

Now, I think it's a great idea for a podcast for Mark called Slurpin and Bourbon, where he brings on a guest and they try a new ramen.

Yeah.

Bye, Mark.

And here we are, folks, in the area where we give each other our classic quirks.

The Qantas Inner Sanctum, brought to you by Qantas, our favorite airline.

We've branded this section of the podcast the Qantas Business Lounge.

Formerly the Absolute Vodka.

The Absolute Vodka Decision Time Room.

Yeah, now it's the Qantas Business Lounge Quirkmaker room.

Yeah.

Now, what are we going to do

for

the game mug?

Zach.

Yeah.

Christmas-themed.

Yes, it has to be broadly Christmas-themed.

Yes.

Okay, so your one, one of your ones.

Yes.

Is

everything else I give you will not be Christmas-themed.

Yes.

But he has to guess that

broadly

they're more Christmassy than they would normally be.

What's vaguery?

What's this vague?

So I'll give you other ones and then I'll explain this at the end.

Okay.

So firstly,

Mark,

Broden Kelly.

Yeah.

I just called you Mark.

My name's Mark.

That's a character trait.

You are to accidentally call Mark Zach once.

Yep.

And that's it.

One of them is that you accidentally call him Zach once.

Yep.

And then you move on.

Okay.

Lynz, if you could write these down so we won't forget these.

That would be awesome.

Also,

you are

a cheetah.

As in the fast cat.

The fast cat.

Was there a cheetah that represented a cheese?

Chester Cheetos.

And he represented the Cheetos.

Yeah.

So you're a different cheetah, and you've auditioned for the Amy girl.

You know, the Amy girl?

So for international audiences, there's a...

Car insurance.

And at the end of every ad, a pretty brunette turns her head and smiles, and she's the Amy girl.

She works at Amy.

I always thought her name was Amy.

And every 10 years or so, they replace her.

It's a very lucrative ad.

I remember all my brunette friends auditioned for it once.

Amy now is many.

There's many Amys.

Smart.

Now, Broden, you've auditioned for the Amy girl.

But they...

As Chester Cheeto.

No, you're a cheetah.

They worry you look too much like Chester Cheeto, and they can't have you on and you think that's that's rotten.

Okay, so I'm a Chester

I'm a cheetah auditioning for the Amy girl, but they've said, you know, you look too much like Chester Cheeto and people think this is for Cheetos and I'm annoyed by that.

And you're like, so now

only one Cheeto can be like only one cheetah can be.

And at one point I call Zach Mark just once and move, you know, and he's at one point you call Mark Zach.

And then everything's a bit Christmassy.

So those two things

are a bit Christmassy, but not at Christmas time.

They're just a little more Christmassy, you know?

Yeah.

You know, they're just a little bit, they've got a little bit of that Christmas sparkle.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But nothing directly Christmas.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

In fact, that's what it is.

Yeah.

They have a Christmas sparkle, but nothing to do with Christmas.

Yeah.

And they can't say, oh, Christmas.

Yeah, yeah.

That's wrong.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay, here's yours.

Yeah.

You know, the pilot for the Sopranos is...

I'm going to to write this down.

The pilot for the Sopranos is.

Tony loves these ducks.

Yeah, the ducks.

I remember the ducks.

And they leave and he has a panic attack, which drives him into

psychiatry.

I'm going to see psychologists.

Psychiatrist, yeah.

It's just Dr.

Melfie.

Dr.

Malfi.

Dr.

Soprano.

Dr.

Soprano.

That's a good Dr.

Malfi.

But you are.

You are a duck.

I'm one of the ducks.

But no, not this duck.

You just love the sopranos because it's got ducks in it.

And I'm disappointed there's not more ducks throughout this.

Yeah, you watched it because you thought it was about ducks.

Oh, it's like, oh, they stay with the fat, Italian man.

Yeah, but most of your.

I didn't say fat.

Most of your.

He's a big boy.

He's fat.

But there's no judgment call on that.

That's where you go.

Yeah.

Now,

loved Sopranos, but started watching it.

But your life is mostly seeds, you know, floating on water

um

because i thought it would be about ducks so i'm a duck who loves the sopranos but i started watching it because i thought it would be about ducks yeah

um

but

you're shocked as well like the main thing of your life the main drive of this character at the moment is like hot cross buns are in the shops already hot cross buns are in the shops already

That's your main thing.

And you are an advocate for a Facebook group which is broadened out to a community called stop hot cross buns being in the shops December 26th

you are the you are the chairman like though I run the Facebook group a cause and you've done like channel 10 interviewed you a few years back about it

and like you're unaware that you're literally just buying they they are putting hot cross buns in the store Because of the engagement it gets and it makes people

playing into their hands and you don't know that.

Yeah, I don't know that I'm a duck who loves the sopranos that started watching it because I thought it would be about ducks.

I think it's crazy that hot cross buns are in the shops already, so much so that I started an advocacy group to stop hot cross buns so early.

But I don't know the fact that I'm just playing into their hands.

Yeah, and you're part of the

discourse.

You're part of

the

kind of

be aware of that

thing that happens in society where people, there's a counter movement and buying into that is actually the movement.

You know, you being averse to that.

Explain that.

Let's talk through that a little bit.

But the idea of there's a thought that there's a thought, something happens, and then the counter movement of people.

It's annoying how everyone thinks this.

That discourse against the initial nugget is the thought.

is as much a part of it.

Is as much a part of the wasteful, silly discourse.

Even the third one along, I've talked about this before, even the third one along where it's like, why are you even talking about this, is as much a part of the problem.

Yes, it's all part of it.

So in this exact example, Cole's put out the hot cross bun thing.

That's the end of it.

It should be.

But the actual discourse is, I can't believe they've put the problem.

I'm playing into the hot cross bun culture war.

Yeah, yeah.

And

he needs to talk to that concept.

What are your ones again?

I think I've got one more for you, but

I'm a cheetah on the auditioning for Amy.

You audition.

You audition.

I'm a bit annoyed that.

No, you are both auditioning for and

you are about to audition for it and also you are in the future.

You are both.

Does that make sense?

Yeah, I am in the middle of auditioning, but I also have auditioned.

So I have to be...

I have to have the hope of auditioning and the embarrassment and sadness that I didn't get it at the same time.

And also preparing for the audition.

And okay, I am all times.

So I'm that.

I am a bit Christmassy.

Yeah.

But the sparkle of Christmas.

I say Zach instead of Mark at one point.

And last thing.

I'm good.

I am good.

You

think

that Michelle Trachenberg.

Who is that?

No, you're not allowed to look her up.

You think that Michelle.

No, you're not allowed to look her up.

You think that Michelle Trechenberg was the best thing about Buffy?

Does he know who Michelle Trechenberg is?

No, no.

Well, I don't know what part they played.

Were they in Buffy?

Can I ask that?

They weren't Mr.

Sarah and Michelle Geller.

I know that.

Yeah.

You'll figure it out.

They weren't Angel, were they?

No.

Well, that's all the characters I know.

Fuck.

I don't even know who they played in Buffy.

You got that all written down, Liz.

Great.

Could you bring in the Ramen man please who is just staring at us blankly through the window?

He's finished his ramen.

He's got the fork to prove it.

Mark, welcome.

Welcome to your party.

Hit that music, Linz.

Welcome, Mark.

You excited for your mug?

I'm very excited.

Run your party.

Run your Christmas party.

Well, I've got the decorations over here.

I've got the eggnog over there.

I've got some cabana and cheese on the table there.

And some vegetarian dolmatis.

And they're actually vegan.

Oh, a knock upon the door.

A rapture, perchance.

We'll open the door and see who my guest is today.

Arique?

Oh, the flash.

Do I just stand here?

Or just a s or Sonic?

Oh, that went so badly.

I hope it goes well.

Ha!

I just turn my head and smile.

Do you?

I can't believe it.

That's such typecasting.

I hate it.

Well, I hope I get it.

Well, I'm doing it.

First of all, you're a speedster.

Yeah, that's my.

We all are.

We all are?

The people like me.

Oh, because you're a hedgehog.

No.

No.

Wrong, Mark.

No, but you did have lightning and chemicals hit you to give you your power.

Absolutely not, Mark.

Looks carry on.

That's all right.

Even though you're not in that room and you're not a guest, I will accept that.

Did you listen to what I said by any chance?

That you're running around.

Is there a layer that I'm not that you're worried I'm not paying attention?

I guess you missed something.

This is a layer.

This is a layer that I missed something.

No, you just missed something.

Fucking cunt.

So, alright, so it's not a layer.

No, because I didn't miss anything, did I?

Yes.

No, but I didn't.

The thing is that I didn't.

You can do it again, but later.

I give you permission.

Knock, knock, knock.

Erik, hello.

Oh, look at all those foods.

Oh, God.

What would you like to do?

Can you talk me through what you've got?

First of all, thank you for coming.

No worries at all.

I know that you don't traditionally celebrate Christmas.

Oh, no, no, but

I don't.

I don't traditionally celebrate Christmas.

Well, some cultures would munch on me for Christmas, so of course I wouldn't.

Did I see you waddle just then?

What?

Did I see you waddle?

Wow, sure.

You waddled?

I did.

So you're a waddling beast.

Yeah.

Maybe of the penguin variety?

Ah, nah, they're all right, but no, no.

No, no, maybe the pelican.

They're terrified.

Maybe the pelican variety.

Down there.

No,

some sort of

land and air-dwelling bird.

Those pelicans, their bills are too big.

Too silly.

You waddle.

Yeah.

Do you.

May I take your coat or is it over your wings to keep them warm?

What?

I'm just trying to establish whether you're a bird or not.

Oh, yeah.

Yes, they are.

Yes.

They are keeping your wings.

But you can take my coat.

I'd like to stretch them out.

Yeah, stretch your wings out.

How are you?

This was going to be a bit of a pool party.

Would you care to get in the water?

Yeah, I'd be be very comfortable.

You'd be very comfortable in the water.

But to get there, you're going to be waddling a bit.

Yeah, I'll waddle over, sure.

Not a pelican and not a penguin.

No.

Do you eat a pelican at Christmas?

Oh, a turkey.

No.

Water bird.

Are you a turkey bird?

Water.

Do people eat meat?

There are cultures that eat meat at Christmas.

Yeah.

There are cultures that eat meat at Christmas.

Eat me.

Eat me.

Me, eat you, eat you.

Can I find out what you've got snack-wise here?

Yes, we've got cabana.

Oh, yeah.

We've got, which is like a sausage.

Float that on the pool, I'll gobble it up.

You'll gobble it up if it's floating on the pool.

Yeah, but also if it's down a little lower, not all the way down.

But I'll eat it on the pool.

What else have you got?

Well,

we've got alligator.

Oh, scary.

Yeah, right.

Because are they a predator for you?

Probably.

If an alligator saw me, it would try to eat me.

Mark, can I ask you a question?

What carbs have you got on this table?

I have little mice.

What carbohydrates?

I have tiny little mice.

What carbohydrates?

I don't know.

Maybe I'm thinking maybe he's an eagle or something.

I know, this is a separate thing.

What carbohydrates do you have?

I waddle.

I'm on the water.

You waddle, you're on the water.

You're not a pelican or a penguin.

You're a duck.

Yeah.

You're a goose.

No, you're a duck.

You're a duck.

You're a duck.

You're a duck, ding, duck.

You're a duck.

You're a duck.

You're a duck.

You're a duck.

Ding, ding, ding.

You're a duck that likes carbs, but only certain carbs.

Well, there's a particular

carbohydrate.

Mark, there's a carbohydrate that if it's on that table, I will be fuming.

Really?

What's the date?

It's December 25th.

Far too early.

Because you will only eat certain carbs before Christmas.

You can play with him.

Fast.

Faster than the speed of light you are.

I'm auditioning.

It's lovely to be here.

I can't believe they did that.

I hope I get it.

Are you

keep me away from that speedster there?

Yeah, because you're a speedster, right?

And you're the flash.

No, no, but you're auditioning for the flash.

You're auditioning for the flash.

You're auditioning for Sonic.

He's a bit...

He's not spotty enough.

Spotty enough?

Like a cheater from Beast Wars.

Cheetor.

Cheetor from Beast Wars?

What?

Just a cheater.

Just a cheater.

You're a cheater auditioning for...

The flash.

Yes, Zach.

Mark, I would say that

I am.

You are a cheater.

Yeah.

And just because of that,

just because of that, I'm not right.

Because you're auditioning for the flash.

No.

You're auditioning for Sonic.

No.

You're auditioning for a speedstay in a film.

Cheaters are speedsters.

I mean, they're the real-life speedsters.

Yeah, that's true.

That's all I was doing.

I'm just sparse.

All right, so you're auditioning for something else.

Yeah.

You're auditioning for Book of Mormon.

I don't have to talk.

It's just

do the face, be happy, and then I'm the face of it.

But I thought I was perfect.

You're auditioning for an ad.

I can't believe I didn't get it, but I hope I do.

You're auditioning for some sort of ad.

You're a cheater.

You're auditioning for ads.

What ads are there?

There are ads for teeth whitening paste.

No.

There are ads for dry shampoo.

No.

There are ads for

condoms.

No.

Well, you know what?

We're going to talk about every product ever.

Well, I'm sure there will be some way to get to the bottom of it.

Oh, for insurance.

For Amy specifically.

I gave you too much.

Yes.

For Amy specifically.

And I'm perfect, right?

You're...

Of course you are.

Why would you not get the ad?

I've been typecast.

You've been typecast as a cheater.

Yeah.

But you are a cheater.

But just because of that other guy?

I can't believe it.

Because of the other guy.

But it all has a bit of the feeling to it.

It all has that feeling.

Can I ask you a question?

It all has that feeling.

Mr.

Cheater.

Did you get him

that bowl of free snacks?

I have nothing to do with those snacks.

Oh, okay.

And that's the problem.

I have nothing to do with them.

them they're delicious i don't mind you're upset because you didn't help plan the party no no i'm just saying those snacks yeah

they are associated with people like me but i have nothing to do with that cheetos because there's cheetos on the table you've got nothing to do with cheetos yeah yeah and that guy um um uh oh what's his name

for some reason my brain went to sexy lexi no but what's sexy lexi i don't

know sexy lexi cheetos

your brain i've known you for so long sexy lexi cheetos I've known you for so long.

That doesn't even have cha in it.

And people listening, people listening

would go, oh, I don't get it, but I'm sure Zach and Broden do.

Sometimes your brain surprises me.

What's his name?

Cheeto.

His name is Chester Cheeto.

Yes.

You're Chester Cheeto.

No, I'm not.

No, but you should be.

No.

No.

I should be able to have my own career.

Right, because you're a cheetah.

who is auditioning for an ad.

Yes, I am.

But you're not, but you're not getting all the

work.

You're Chester cheeto i hope i get it you auditioned for cheetos i did yes yeah but chester cheetos i'm gonna i'm gonna you're gonna you're gonna get it i hope so you hope so but i didn't you didn't and i'm doing it

you're auditioning now yes so you're delusional but i didn't get it you didn't get it you've already been

rejected you've already been rejected yes but i hope i get it

so you're a delusional cheater no no

i'm i'm getting i'm auditioning you're auditioning i didn't get it you got rejected but I'm doing it.

So you are in a point where you are simultaneously auditioning, have been rejected from it, and are hoping that you'll get it.

Waiting to hear back.

Why?

Because you're a fuckhead.

I'm a fuckhead.

Well, because you have been displaced in time.

Yes.

I think so.

Because you've been going too fast.

No, no, no.

No, no, no.

Why did they not give me the part?

Or why wouldn't they not give me me the part?

Because you've been displaced in time.

No, because I think I'm doing a good job, but they just think I'm like...

A regular...

They just think you're a shit cheater.

They think you're a regular shit.

Well, they think I'm...

Well, I'm doing a very different performance to him.

So I don't think there's any comparison.

And just because I'm a

cheater.

Which one?

Not Chester.

No, they see Chester.

Yeah, that were.

You are Chester?

No.

I've been Chester.

No, I've...

Oh,

they only see one thing for me.

They only see you

as a wild cat.

They only see you as...

They've typecast you.

I'll have a go now.

I'll have a go.

But I got some things, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it all has that kind of magic, doesn't it?

But what ad is he auditioning for?

Chester, for Cheetos.

No.

You should be.

For face cream?

Or for Amy, Amy?

For Amy insurance.

Which would have been perfect.

I thought I was perfect for, but they only saw...

They were too con, they couldn't get past.

The fact that you were a cheater.

You are a cheater.

And when people see a cheater, they just think of...

Cheating.

Or cats.

Or Chester Cheetos.

They think of Chester Cheeto.

They see you

think of Chester Cheeto.

They go, we can't cast this.

cheetah as the face of Amy because everyone's just going to think he's Chester Cheeto.

Well done.

Very good, very good.

And you're experiencing the rejection and the audition and the hope of getting the part all at the same time.

Thank you.

And it's all got that vibe.

And it all has that vibe of

it's exciting.

Yes, it does mark.

Yeah, because it's the film and TV industry.

Hey, what other snacks have you got?

You're a duck.

Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You don't.

Have you seen it, The Duck Show?

Have I seen The Duck Show?

The duck show.

The duck show.

The duck show.

I mean, we're only in it towards the top, but

I love ducking duck.

Well, I tuned in.

Mighty ducks.

No, no, no.

The duck show.

The duck show.

So I tuned in because I'd heard about this pilot, and I was like, oh, man, this is going to be sick.

Best show ever made.

And beautiful.

And I watched it for us, but I love the whole thing.

I loved the other characters as well.

In The Duck Show.

Oh, I love ducks.

And it's called The Duck Show.

No, no, no.

No, no, no, no.

There is a name for it.

Dynasty Ducks.

You would call it Ducky.

Duck Dynasty.

Duck Dynasty.

No, no.

I don't think you would eat.

Well, I don't know.

I think the ducks are very important.

They are.

They are.

They are hugely important.

But I think, thematically, I think you would probably engage with the human characters more than me.

Me, I'm all about the ducks.

Okay, so it's obviously some sort of movie or TV show where there are ducks in it for a moment.

Yeah.

For but a moment.

But a substantial moment.

But a substantial moment.

And I thought they would be in it for the rest of the series.

An old man feeds the ducks?

He's not old.

No.

Forrest Gump.

A man does feed the ducks.

A man feeds the ducks.

He's not old.

But he's not old.

Who else was...

Who out of...

I know that you love the best show I've ever made.

I know you love the best show I've ever made.

Best show, The Sopranos.

Breaking Bad.

Sopranos.

Yeah.

Right.

So you love The Sopranos, but you think it's The Duck Show.

Yeah, why?

Because the Ducks are in it for a moment, but those are the characters that captivated you because you are a duck.

So I watched it for

the ducks.

You watched The Sopranos for the Ducks.

Yeah.

And there was a lot of boring bits where the humans were talking about.

Do you reckon I switched it off?

Do you reckon once the ducks left I switched it off?

No, you stuck around.

It's good, isn't it?

Yeah, you loved it.

Have I given him too much?

You loved the duck story in the Sopranos.

Hey, what food you got here?

We've got cabana.

Yes.

Yum.

Perfect for this time of year.

Time appropriate.

Yeah, we've got Cheetos.

Yum, yum, yum.

Yeah, perfect for this time of year.

Perfect for any time of the year.

Yeah.

We've got potatoes.

Great for any time of year.

Christmas stuff you got.

We got ham.

Christmas, yep.

We've got stuffing.

What kind of,

like, what kind of, you know, I've got some...

What sweet things do you have?

Pud.

Pudding, yummy, pudding.

Very appropriate.

Prime appropriate.

What are you?

Profitter rolls?

Rolls?

Profitter rolls?

Rolls bread.

What kind of breads do you have?

We've got sourdough breads.

Oh, yeah.

We've got

sweet breads.

We have

a showpan.

A showpan shoe.

Yeah, that's okay.

That's okay.

I'll allow it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sweet breads?

Sweet milky breads?

Yeah.

I just want to make sure that you don't have anything

bad for now.

Yeah, I want Christmas.

I want Christmas stuff.

Or I'm okay with a cabana or a cheesel.

That's for all times of year.

But if you're fucking with the time of year here, I'm going to be precisely.

Oh, panetone, eh?

Yeah, that's time appropriate.

That's panatone.

That's fine.

That's perfect.

But you don't want any sweet.

You don't want any brioche.

No, I don't mind a bit of brioche.

That's appropriate any time of the year.

Right.

I'm okay with

that's appropriate for this time of year or any time of year.

Yeah, he loves Christmas stuff at the moment or evergreen stuff.

Don't get me wrong, in four months' time, I'm going to be loving other stuff, but not now.

So you don't want any specific Easter bread?

What?

What would name some Easter bread?

What are you saying?

What are you saying?

Name some Easter breads.

Yes, what are you saying?

Name the Easter bread.

Oh, a hot cross bun.

What?

We've got hot cross buns here.

How the fuck did you get hot cross buns?

What's the day?

Oh, okay.

What the fuck are you talking about?

So you are, you are.

What the fuck?

The most classic of the Easter bread.

Yes, a hot cross bun.

I've heard of 26,

but

this is pre-25th.

You are flabbergasted that I was able to get hot cross buns.

What Easter bread was?

What are Easter breads?

I've got to call the others.

I'm so sorry.

We don't call them hot cross buns.

We call them Easter bread.

No, forget that.

I've just funny.

You are flabbergasted and mad

that I have inappropriate holiday bread.

I'm not upset at you, Mark.

You're an individual consumer.

You can't make those choices.

Where did you get this from?

Coles.

Fucking hell.

Yeah, you.

So you are mad.

I have to call the others.

I have to call the others.

I have to update the group.

The other ducks.

I'll give you one second.

Okay.

No, there's we're a whole group.

There's people, there's ducks.

It's

duck unrelated.

The duck thing is just to do with.

Well, you use your phone with your feathers.

Yeah, I just use my little wings here.

I have to make a quick call.

All right.

I've got to talk to some people because this is outrageous.

Can I be privy to the call?

Do you know which coles you got it from?

Well, yeah.

Yeah, I do.

Can you tell me?

I think it would be good.

We'd like to get some photo evidence.

South Melbourne Coles.

South Melbourne.

All right.

Yeah, you can be privy to the call.

Just a second.

All right.

Oh, sorry, go.

Hey, mate, how are you?

Yeah, listen, I'm happy to update the group, but I would love a photo.

I have a friend here who got hot cross buns.

Yeah, chocolate hot cross buns.

Chocolate, chocolate, whatever.

Chocolate hot cross buns from Kohl's.

Yeah, right, before 26th even.

It's too far.

I agree.

I mean, we agree on this.

You're a part of a group.

I'll update them, but I need a photo.

You're a part of a group.

If you can talk to the publicist, that would be great.

You're a part of a group that tends to make sure that holiday breads come out at appropriate times.

Specifically, I mean...

This is so heightened.

I leave it for the other.

I'll leave the other breads for the other people.

And you think this is just nuts when I'm in the middle of the night.

I actually love heightened stuff.

Like, some of my favorite shows are heightened.

Yeah.

Name some.

Name some of your favorite shows.

Or like name some heightened shows.

I'll tell you which one that I like.

Severance.

No, too recent.

Too recent.

Mork and Mindy.

Yeah,

more recent.

More recent than Mork and Mindy, but not as recent as Severance.

Yeah, wrong decade.

So the 90s.

For funny.

I love Heighten series from the 90s.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Towards the back end, absolutely.

Alex Mack.

Oh, yeah, like that, yeah, but a bit more spooky.

Oh, goosebumps.

Yeah, in that world, but maybe a bit more for a bit older.

Twilight Zone.

No, that's not 90s.

I like the first word.

i like the first word twilight but in the 90s twilight in the 90s oh yeah twilight in the midnight twilight midnight stories what's twilight about twilight's about vampires in the 90s

midnight late 90s night nine late charmed no or the other one not charmed vampire diaries or the other one there's another one yeah oh buffy yeah oh you love buffy the vampire slayer she's the best yeah yeah yeah she's the absolute best yeah at

yeah Killin'.

I don't know.

You don't know.

Because you've never seen Buffy, but it's your favorite show.

Well, there's got great people in it.

Sarah Michelle Galla.

Yes.

The one that put the flute in her pussy.

I don't know.

I don't know.

In American Park.

No, that person's name is.

I do know that person's name.

She hosts Penn and Tala sometimes.

Yeah, what's her name?

It doesn't matter.

But I know her name is not that name.

But not her.

Yeah, who else is in it?

Oh, man.

I know.

I know.

I know.

You know, you know.

I know.

I'm the same as you.

You know.

I know.

Okay.

I love that show.

I love her in it.

Right.

All right.

All right.

Right, right, right.

I love her in it.

You love her in it.

Yeah.

There's an actor whose name I'm not going to know, you don't know either, which is very frustrating.

Yeah.

I know.

Right.

Hey, Mark.

Mark.

It's not, it's not.

Oh, please.

That'd be gross.

No, no, no.

No, No, it's definitely not Piper Paribo.

It is not.

Oh, yes, she was.

What is she?

It's one of those it girls.

She's brunette, isn't she?

I don't know.

She's brunette, isn't she?

She's brunette.

I think so, yeah.

Yeah, and she's.

You've got to know her name.

She was fucking...

Oh, she was just one of the it girls.

One of the it girls.

No, I think I know who you're talking about.

I think you're thinking.

I'm not allowed to look it up.

He's not allowed to look it up.

Well, you've got to break it down at some point.

At some point.

I don't remember.

Mark.

Mark, let's go with me for a little bit.

Yeah.

All right.

Let's go with me for a little bit.

So you're a duck that is part of a group that makes sure that holiday breads come out at appropriate times.

Specific holiday breads.

Specific holiday breads.

Hot cross buns.

Hot cross buns.

You're part of an elite force.

Not elite.

We just don't.

Concerned citizens.

Concerned citizens.

You've started like a neighborhood watch type thing.

Where where would that be in 2024 where would that be a lot of middle-aged

Karens in this group with me on Facebook yeah you're part of a Facebook group yeah that but we we expand bigger than that you know who was who did I want to talk to I wanted to talk to our

did you hear who I who I called no I said I wanted to talk to someone else because I think we got to get this out bigger than just the Facebook we got to get right to old media and stuff yeah right And it's worked in the past.

Your publicist, you spoke.

No, you wanted to speak to your publicists.

So because maybe in the past I've

also, have I gone over...

Is it just Facebook?

Maybe in the past he was

by doing this, he's had engagement.

Where could he have been seen?

Seen.

Do you think I've just taken this issue to Facebook, or do you think maybe with a publicist I've gone to other places?

Like to news media?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, like?

The Herald Sun?

Yeah, sure, but no, no.

Specifically.

Look, I got a guy.

Newspaper is one kind of medium and media.

Oh, TV.

Yeah.

News.

Yeah.

The news.

Current affairs.

Specific one.

Yeah.

Current affair.

No.

Networks.

Networks.

Seven.

No, no.

No, ten.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So you've gone to channel 10.

Have.

Have.

In the past.

Went to channel 10.

So this is a whole backstory.

So in the past, you've been to channel 10, right?

Who was I representing?

You were representing a group of concerned citizens who wanted to make sure that hot cross buns were coming out at an appropriate time.

It makes me so mad.

Have you seen like how have you seen when?

Yeah, because it was coming out way too, it was coming out around Christmas time.

Too early.

Way too early.

Pre-the 25th.

Pre-the 25th.

I don't even understand why the fuck they would do it.

I get so mad at them.

Yeah.

Why would they do it?

I get so mad at them.

I'm posting on my group.

I'm posting on my Facebook account.

I'm encouraging people on

it.

Outrage.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But why would they do it?

Like, I get so upset that I'm.

I'm an idiot.

That I and my, there are thousands of people in my group.

So you're a group of fucking idiots.

But there are thousands of us.

We all have lots of followers.

We all post photos about it.

Yeah.

We talk about it.

We tweet about it.

What's all that doing?

Yeah.

It's cultivating.

Yeah.

What did Coles do initially?

Coles.

Initially brought out hot cross buns too early.

Why?

I don't know why, but it makes me so mad.

So mad that me and my group know

why would they get mad about it or why would Coles do it?

Because it's a hot-selling item to raise profits.

But that's

early.

That's so early, Mark.

Listen to what I do when I get so mad about it.

I post about it.

I post in the group of people.

To create engagement.

So that's why Coles do it.

Coles did it on purpose to create engagement, but you don't understand that.

And

you've fallen into Coles' trap.

You're a duck that has fallen into Coles' trap of bringing out Easter breads, hot cross buns, too early because they wanted people to post about it so that then people would go out and buy hot cross buns out of season.

Is this a thing that just happens with Easter bread or no, it happens with everything?

What's the broader issue at play here?

The broader issue at play is that Coles and Woolies are manipulating stupid Coles and Woolies.

I know, I guess, I guess every I guess

it's outrage culture.

Yeah.

It's outrage culture.

So, wait, wait, you're saying that because I think of myself as the enemy of Coles and Woolworths in this.

No, but actually, you're a porn of the machine.

You're a cog in the machine.

And what's my favorite show?

And your favorite show was The Sopranos, but just the duck bits.

No.

No, you tuned in originally for the duck bits, but then you stayed for the human bits because it was so compelling.

That's his favorite show.

Yeah.

You got all of you?

Maybe I'm going to double check while he's guessing.

You've got all the.

My favourite show, though, is.

Your favourite show.

I can't remember.

We just talked about it.

We just talked about it.

Did we?

Did we?

Yeah.

It's like Twilight from the 90s.

Oh, Buffy the Vampire Slate.

Yeah, and I love her.

And who's his favourite actor in Buffy?

Fucking.

So here's the issue is I don't know her name.

He said it once, I don't remember it.

Well, no one's telling me the name.

Let's just start.

Oh, do you want me to

Let's just start guessing.

I think it's fair that I know the name.

Let's just start guessing.

Bridget Wordsworth.

Why don't you guess

Olivia Freeban?

Yes.

He wouldn't know the name.

I don't have internet.

Crystal Mays.

Lindsay, can you just whisper it in my ear?

Can I...

Is it Crystal Mays?

I don't know.

I don't know what the name is.

What about, why don't you ask what else she's been in?

Shannon O'Harrigan.

Why don't you ask what else she's been in?

What else has she been in?

I got the name.

The name has been given to me.

Did I get any of that?

A very close friend of ours.

A very close friend of ours.

Lucy.

A close friend of ours.

Singer, Cabaret.

Michelle.

Yo, yes.

Michelle Rodriguez.

No.

She's not in Buffy.

I've never seen it.

She could have done it.

I haven't seen all of them.

Running and field.

And field.

Track.

Yeah.

Michelle Track.

Yes.

And Michelle Tracken.

Michelle Track should.

I think that's right, what you just said.

Michelle Tracken.

Plus, here we go.

No, no, that's not right.

I don't know.

I'm going to get close and then we can work on it.

What's another word for game or contest?

Puzzle.

Sport.

Contest.

Game or sport.

Two people going at it or two teams going to have

a rivalry.

If they're very similar, they're an equal.

What?

If they're very similar.

Do you have a lider?

No, I don't have a lighter, but I have a box with one.

Oh, it's a match.

So it's not track, but it rhymes with match.

So what is it?

Michelle

Trach.

Yep, Michelle Tracks.

And then...

Michelle Tracks?

Is she Trach?

Michelle Trach.

I think you'd be pretty.

You get who the actor is now, don't you?

No.

Michelle Trach.

And then

Trachenberg.

Trachenberg.

Tratchenberg.

Do you know that person?

No.

She was in Euro trip.

Of course.

Oh, yeah,

Harriet the Spy.

Harriet the Spy in Euro Trip.

There you go.

Oh, that's her name.

Yeah, Michelle Trachenberg.

Your favorite actor from...

Do what you got for me.

I made it too hard.

So you are a cheater.

An animal, a cheater, who is experiencing the audition, the hope of landing the audition and the rejection all at the one time as you were auditioning for an ad for Amy Insurance but you've been typecast because all they can see when they see you is Chester Cheeto

from the packet of Cheetos and your favorite actor from Buffy the Vampire Slayer is Michelle Trachenberg.

Correct.

And it's all got that vibe to it.

But it all has that great vibe of the film and TV industry.

Wrong.

What else could it have the vibe of?

Oh shit, I think it's fun.

Christmas.

It all has that Christmas vibe.

What's another word for vibe?

It all has that Christmas spirit.

It all has that,

not spirit.

Mariah Carey film.

Glitter.

It all has that.

Yeah.

It all has that glitter and glam.

Glamorous.

Glit.

Glitz and glam.

And then there was a thing I did halfway through.

Did you do it again?

Yeah.

I missed it twice.

i missed it twice oh well mark that's great that's great that you missed it mark your name is mark because now you're getting it right there we go

because my name is mark yeah your name is you think my name is mark no i know and believe in it is mark correct maybe you got it wrong a couple of times but you've been calling me matt

did i call you matt at all you've been calling me you've been calling me something else just once or twice actually once or twice you misnamed me what did i call you christopher

Keep going.

Not so, not mad.

What's the name that would be.

Hey, Zach.

Hey, mate.

Why don't you help me do this?

Yeah, no worries.

What's the name you would most likely not note him getting wrong?

Not note.

If he accidentally says, Mark with butt with a C.

What's a name he would accidentally say?

Did you call me Mark with a C?

No.

What's the name he would accidentally say?

And if you're not looking at him, you might just think he's talking to someone else.

Mum.

You wouldn't Zach.

gonna take care of this

no worries hey Mark hey Mark no worries mark Broden hey Zach hey Mark

Zach you've called me Zach yes I did you called me Zach twice good oh yeah I thought I just was like I was gonna point that out I was like are you doing that dad thing where I was like have you gotten to the point now where you can't fucking Every time I talk to my dad, he goes, Scott, Mark, Scott, Mark.

My mum calls me Scott.

But no, it's just because I did it for real.

I accidentally called him Mark.

My dog calls, my mum calls me Angus, which is her dog.

Wow.

But then did you do it?

I just called my mum my dog.

Yeah.

Isn't it funny when that starts happening?

Is that it to I have it all?

I think, yeah, but let's talk about this idea of our brains wasting your way.

No, it is done.

But Christmas, the Christmas glitz and sparkle.

Yeah.

Did he have a lot of it?

Did he talk about it?

No, he didn't talk about it much.

You're just saying the whole thing just has a light air.

Yeah, then that's enough.

That's enough for me.

I will say he was the cheater before the audition, not waiting for the results, but I'll allow it.

Oh.

Is that everything?

Thank you.

Well, great job on Trachenberg.

Yeah, that was

crazy.

I like what you call it.

Trachenberg.

Trachenberg.

From EuroTrip.

Yeah.

Great, but I pretty much got it.

17 again.

And gossip girl, Ice Princess.

Can I see a picture of her?

I want to see if it's who it was in my head.

I don't think it's a speaker.

No, you were thinking of...

Very much my type.

Yeah, beautiful.

I love her so much.

Beautiful, beautiful.

Love her so much.

And yet can't think of a single...

To be very clear, you're not talking about Michelle Trachenberg.

I don't know that.

Show him older Michelle Trachenberg.

Show him Euro Trips.

Oh, yes, I know older Michelle Trachenberg.

Yes, yes, yes.

You were thinking of she was the, she's always the alt girl in the world.

Yeah, she's always the, and I'm trying to think of, yes, yes.

Now, can you look up?

was she?

She's like in everything.

She was in Bring It On, I believe.

She was in Bring It On.

Bring it on.

She was the cool alt girl.

I love it.

I love Bring It On.

I love it.

She's a big, beautiful.

Eliza Doucheku.

Eliza Doucheku.

Thanks for listening.

Merry Christmas.

We'll see you next week.

You've been listening to the Auntie Donna podcast.

Thanks for joining us for another rip episode brought to you by Auntie DonnerClub.com.

See you next week.

Listener.