The Kellogg's Trilogy

Today,

in 2013,

I did the vulnerability.

Okay,

so 3.

Check the internet.

Video, like,

obtain Wi-Fi in Mazuin with local con ATNT Fiber with O-Fi.

ATNT connected the change.

ATNT Fiber has limited the case, which is the service that covers Wi-Fi extended ATNT concerns.

I brought in some little cereals, and believe it or not, we got three podcasts out of that.

And this is the third one in which we talk about Kellogg's, we talk about cereals,

we talk about the size of them, which is small,

assorted cereals,

eight satchets of them.

And we talk about that in this podcast.

And it's crazy and it's fun.

And if you want to see the visuals of the cereals,

which are almost rhymed, head over to auntiedonnerclub.com.

You know the drill.

We tell you to go check out the Patreon every week.

Why don't you do something different this week?

Go to at the Auntie Donna Gallery on Instagram.

Give us a little follow on there.

And then head over to our Patreon where you can see some extra stuff and all the visuals.

Have a great podcast.

You're listening to the Arnie Donna Podcast.

The greatest fucking podcast in the world.

Blowing like a tack and sometimes a guest.

We hope you enjoyed the motherfucking podcast.

Hi, everybody.

Welcome to the Arnie Donna podcast.

If you joined us last week, I had Coco Pops.

Or that may have been a couple weeks ago.

I don't know.

We don't know about the rollout.

We decided

now we would never normally do this.

Sorry, my phone went off.

But we decided to

record another one straight after.

We would never normally do this, but as we were packing up to leave, having done our one podcast for the week, Broden said, wait a second.

How come you get a cereal?

I want a cereal.

You did say that.

And I said, you can't just grab a cereal on your way out.

And he said, no, no, no.

I want a cereal moment is how he described it.

I want want a serial I'm a serial killer I want to get that cereal into my that's not what I said that's not what I want to get a bunch of people that's not what I said sometimes I

get a soul urge that I can't hold down

to kill people

and I get in my van this is what Broden said Broden Kelly said I get in my van

I kidnap them and I kill them.

I got garbage bags taped to those windows.

I didn't say any of this.

So no one can see it.

And like 50

air fresheners just hanging from the roof in the back of that van.

So you can't smell the corpses or see them.

I didn't.

I've killed 25 people, mostly in Western Australia and South Australia.

But sometimes when I can't hold it in for the drive to South Australia, I've done about seven in Victoria.

I started on ruse.

I started when I was a kid out in the paddocks seeing the ruse and gutting them.

Sorry.

Sorry, no, you didn't say that.

No, that wasn't you.

What you said was, I'd love some Kellogg's.

Sorry.

I've misremembered when you said, I'd love to have a bowl of Kellogg's cereal.

I remembered that as a really detailed life story of the other kind of cereal killer that kills like women and children.

But that's not what you never said anything like that.

You didn't start on ruse, and that didn't satisfy your hunger.

You didn't and you've never killed a person, let alone many people, and you never said anything like that.

You said, I'd like to have my pick of that variety fat.

Yeah, I think you said, is there any sustain?

And I said, no, all the sustains gone.

You said, not, I collect people in the back of my van.

Any of those things we said, that stuff about the air freshener, I don't remember you now that I think about it, you never said anything anything like that.

No, I think you said, are there corn flakes?

Yeah.

And I think now that I'm really thinking about it, when I said that thing about crossing state lines and killing people in SA and WA,

actually what you said is, did Zach have both Cocoa Pops?

Yeah.

So you wanted to have some cereal.

Bronen, tell us a little bit about, I guess, your desire for cereal.

Yeah, and I'd like to know what you look for in a cereal.

Are you looking for grain, brands?

Are you looking for whole grains?

Are you looking for the weight?

Does the weight

come into it?

Thanks for asking.

In answer to your first question, what do I look for with a cereal?

That was the second question.

The first question was like desire, something about desire.

When did you first feel this desire for cereal?

That's what you asked me first.

I was something like that.

And I would say not in your life.

I would say this particular instance.

Is it hot in here?

Oh, it's scorching.

Is it warm?

Oh, it's like

it's a fine.

I'm going to turn up the cool a little bit.

Zach, we need to start not doing

with whatever during the podcast.

Getting up, getting a coffee, controlling the temperature of the room.

These are things that we have breaks in between.

Episodes, episodes, each recording of an episode in which normally we

do these tasks.

Check our phones.

We'll send an email if we need to.

This opening five minutes might be where someone gives us a crack.

Yeah, and if one

if one person doing the podcast can't even sustain their attention.

Well, isn't that on you guys?

If you can't even keep me interested,

you must be doing a bad job.

It's my fault.

I know it's my fault.

And I hate myself for it every time.

It's your fault that I can't

apologize.

I'm not.

i'm getting there i'm working towards you're gonna apologize to me for for distract making me feel bored and distracted i'm sorry that you feel bored and distracted you're sorry that you make me feel that way

all right i am sorry that i make you just because i guess i'm a dumb cunt sure

um that i make you feel bored and distracted so you're going to apologize for all those times that i've walked out of the podcast and i've done and like last week i got a coffee don't do it i feel like my apology covered mark

you know what i don't feel feel it covered.

Eight years of this podcast.

I don't feel it covered it.

I want you to apologize for me walking out of the room sometimes.

I

do want to say my name?

Yeah.

You want this officially recorded?

I, Mark Samuel Bonano,

apologize wholeheartedly.

Uh-oh.

I'm not joking, though.

I'm not taking the piss.

I'm just trying to, it's a comedy podcast.

I can say wholeheartedly.

Wholeheartedly.

Great.

As much as there are energies, as much as the energy from sustain comes from whole grains, I wholeheartedly, but this apology comes from my whole

heart.

Mentioned Kellogg's.

Yeah, I heard you and I'm working towards it.

It's not an easy thing to just drop into an apology.

Callogs.

You just talked about sustaining.

I'll be the word for all the grains.

Yeah, because I found an in.

I found an in.

And in a way, having said sustain, I have mentioned callogs in a way.

If you want me to specifically say callogs, you've got to give me some time to work it in because that's a hard one to work in work it in there um

much like wood

when chopped down into logs okay

cow logs

uh yeah just apologize i'm sorry brandon you sorry for all the times i've walked out of the podcast

Zach if I could take back every instance where I have made you feel bored and need to walk out of this room because I'm not bringing it, whether that's with heightened characters, with being the straight guy,

I apologise.

Yeah, that's good.

And I forgive you both.

Great.

Thank you.

And if I walk out again, whose fault is it?

It's ours.

That's our fault.

And if I have cereal instead of talking into the microphone, whose fault is it?

That's ours.

That's ours.

That's our job.

We're not being entertaining enough.

That's our job.

It might not just be the entertainment.

It might be other reasons.

Just remember whose fault it is stink

stink we smell bad is it because we smell bad could be could be thank you for your apology guys that's uh it's gonna it's a big movement forward in our healing i knew it was gonna i thought it might be a stink my partner rolled over this maybe i

just went to me you

stink

you

stink today yeah this is your partner yeah your life partner they abused you as you woke up.

Do they really say you stink?

I mean, you have a fucking stench about you.

It's making me sick to my stomach.

stomach did they really say that yeah that's rude wow

is this a one-off

yeah and to be fair i like diarrhea all in the bed

okay

and she said well to me and she said you fucking stink i have diarrhea all on my leg

did she that's some context i think because i was about to say things i was about to make decisions on who was the good guy who was a bad guy.

Still haven't decided, I don't know.

But I think that was an important piece of in that was an important piece of the puzzle.

She said, is that diarrhea on my tummy?

Because we spoon.

And I'm always a little spoon.

She said, is that diarrhea on my tummy?

You fucking stink.

And then she said, there's diarrhea in there.

Hey, that's awesome, man.

That's awesome.

I have more questions on that.

I think as men, we need to be more vulnerable.

Yeah.

you are you unwell do you have gastro or do you have some food poisoning or something or what do you mean

do you are you because

yeah what because why are you doing fine

do you usually have wet poo

wet poo yeah like diarrhea

not i mean poo

is like poo in general is a bit wet okay okay yeah but it's not usually uh

i guess it's not as uh there's is there's not as much wet normally.

Okay, okay.

Can I ask you what your diet's like?

Are you eating fiber?

It's okay if you're not.

It just helps us know.

I bet, yeah, like

fruit, veggies.

I ate a fair bit of fruit and veggies.

This is the Doctor's podcast where we talk about health, better health, better learning.

And today we've got in someone who's fucked.

Dr.

Broden here is a general practitioner.

GP, focused

Obstetrician, a bit of time in pediatrics as well.

I, of course, have, I had my run.

I did do a short time as a GP, but now I work in cosmetic surgery, so I can talk about those nips and tucks and those sorts of things.

This episode is brought to you by Sera V.

What is that?

Moisturizer.

Nice, clean, base moisturizer, no scents attached.

Great for sensitive skin.

Like QV?

QV.

Very similar.

Similar, yes.

Now, Mark, you were telling us about your

wet poo diarrhea.

I have a question.

Do you drink?

Do you smoke?

Yes.

How much a day, would you say?

I drink smoke maybe three times a day.

No, no, no, no, no.

I just want to clarify there something, Dr.

Zach.

Are you drinking smoke?

Yeah.

Or are you drinking and smoking?

Oh, I'm sorry.

There was a comma there.

There was an inferred comma.

I'm sorry.

You need to be clear because otherwise it was clear.

Your job, and yet I didn't understand.

Well, that's touched on a very good point, Mark, and something that our audience often love is we're drilling down on something that is a point of communication between doctor and patient.

How much are you communicating with your doctor, and could you do more?

Should you be drinking as much smoke as you are drinking?

Well, for sure, or because we don't know about the health

impacts.

Are you a doctor or are you a man with diarrhea?

I have a PhD.

In what?

Fart.

A PhD in fart.

A PhD in fart.

Can you.

What's the thesis?

Excuse me?

What was the thesis in the fart PhD?

What do you mean?

Do you mind if I look it up?

Pardon?

Do you mind if I look up your PhD?

You can look it up, absolutely.

It rises.

Now,

no.

My question for you, doctors.

You're not on here as a doctor.

I'm not.

You're here as a guest who we're talking to about their health issues.

Look, for breakfast this morning, I had a brownie and milk.

That's real.

That's real.

I had a wet brownie.

I got some oat milk and

I wet it with some milk.

I got a brownie.

Whether you're a doctor in fart

or not is not why you're here.

Right.

You're here because you're diarrhea in bed, it's affecting your work.

Yeah, it's affecting your life.

It's affecting your partner's life.

It's affecting your relationship with the people around you.

She was cool with it.

Did I not mention that?

What did you say she said when you woke up?

Oh, yeah, right.

But it's more how she,

how she said it.

How did she say it?

She went, oh, is that diarrhea on my belly?

Yes.

She was like, you stink.

Did I not do it in that tone?

I'll let you be.

I'll be honest.

As a doctor, I talk with patients heaps every day.

Well, yeah.

And I'm a doctor.

Despite,

yeah, but

I don't think you're a medical doctor.

Well,

because I just looked up your

PhD thesis, and is this yours, the Rising Gas and Exploration of Farts in Pre-Hays Code Hollywood?

Oh, no, that was a colleague of mine.

Oh, sure.

Yeah.

Where's your thesis?

What's your thesis?

Oh, mine, it was

too good to post.

So that would mean you're not a doctor then?

No, no, no.

Was it published?

Explain.

Are you published?

Describe published.

Are you published?

If you're a doctor, you know what I mean?

I live, I breathe,

I have...

consciousness

in a way we're all published.

I have another problem.

I'm a published human being in the sense that my mother published me to this earth.

My mother and father got together.

They wrote the song of love and they published me.

So am I published?

Yeah, we all are.

When you performed as your girlfriend the second time,

Zach's on Paul was that.

Dr.

Zaxon Paul.

You can't deny that.

When you re-performed as your partner, the first time it was aggressive and then you re-contextualize it, I'm going to be honest for me, despite the positive performance, it still seemed like she would be upset.

But isn't it a lesson in it's not what we say, it's how we say it.

No, it's a lesson in that that's not true.

It's also a lesson.

Oh, hey, you stink like shit and there's shit everywhere.

Mark, even if...

Do it more sexy, though.

Even if you...

You stink like shit and there's shit everywhere.

Wow, that's C.

Wow.

That did change it.

That's C.

I guarantee there's at least one listener that liked that a little too much.

You're good on them.

And good on them.

Good on you.

Because, hey, we're doctors and that's okay.

Can I say, Mark, listen, I don't mind if you and your partner engage in shit play.

Please try to be hygienic.

Yeah, Yeah, I was not playing.

Sure.

So, what worries me

is the implication in your story is there's a lack of control.

You've got a lack of bowel control.

Now, that could be due to

a number of

bodily issues.

It could be down to your sphinct, but it's also because of the menu, because you have to get two every time you order.

You can't just get one.

You can't just get one bow.

So, bow control is difficult because when I order at a restaurant, you just want more.

And is that why?

Well, sometimes I don't want to.

Is that why you've got diarrhea, do you think?

I'd like to drill down on your diet because I am worried about you diarrhea during your sleep.

Bow specifically.

Do you mean exclusively?

I know what I meant.

I'm a doctor.

In what?

Fart.

Mike,

what do you mean you eat bow specifically?

As in your eaten When I eat precision?

Yes, when I eat,

there might be two, three food around me.

But if there's not specifically bow,

and if it's in a controlled environment as well, or uncontrolled,

I will specifically eat bow.

Can I ask about your diet?

Because I'm concerned that you're sleeping and potentially doing diarrhea while you sleep.

Is you're not even rising, you're not even waking.

You're having diarrhea while while you sleep.

Tell me about your sleep habits.

Well, I had a bad dream as well that might

fold into the

techniques.

Do you want to talk through the dream?

Well, yeah,

if you think it's worth it, sometimes, often I find the lowest form of conversation is what I dreamt about.

But in this instance,

it's a really exciting kind of dream.

You felt you couldn't rise from this sleep.

Is your friend doctor just on their phone texting you?

I'm googling your

he's questioning whether you're a doctor.

I'm looking up my credentials.

For full disclosure,

I think

it's kind of hard to find.

He doesn't believe you're a doctor.

Really?

Because to be a doctor in fart is a very heightened, absurd notion.

And you only said you're a doctor after we said we were doctors.

You were on that too.

Oh, so I plagiarized you, did I?

No.

I copied then.

Sorry if you don't understand the word.

Okay, yeah, you copied us.

Right, right, right.

I reject that wholeheartedly as

a notion.

And the notion of the

motion of the notion.

No,

the motion of the notion.

The notion of the motion.

The notion of the motion of your ocean means

small craft advisory.

Is this your thesis here?

Bloodhound gang.

Jimmy Pop said that.

Notion of your ocean.

We know him.

The motion of your ocean,

the motion of your ocean means small craft advisory.

Hinting at the fact that

I think doctory.

Yes.

Because I believe he's referring to having a

tiny dick.

Bloodhound gang.

Small craft advisory.

No, no, it's saying that

she is saying, and this is all in my thesis, and you can read this up.

She's saying, I don't want no little dicks.

You can read this up.

I don't want no, you can read this up.

There's no, I don't want no little dick.

Oh, so you were talking about, see, because so that would mean this thesis here, Flatulance and the Byzantines, the ongoing impacts of Roman cultural norms on the attitude toward farts in the early Byzantine Empire is not yours.

No, no, no, that was my colleagues.

Oh, sure.

There was a class of thousands.

Oh, and fart.

Thousands of PhD students.

Oh, yes.

So, firstly, thousands, a class of thousands of PhD students.

Yes.

We had to have our

seminars in the state theatre, boy.

Seminars.

Seminars for PhD students.

In the state theater.

There were so many of us back then.

All for fart?

Or just generally?

Some, it was a,

they were doing a Bachelor of Arts and it was an elective.

Bachelor of Arts.

So you know, a bachelor, a bachelor and a PhD are very different things, yeah?

Yes, but to get to

some were more advanced than others.

I have not time wasting here on my

educational

the way I

am a doctor, damn it.

Okay, I accept that.

I'm happy to move forward.

Should have said Bachelor of Farts.

That is disgusting.

And anyone that has a PhD in fart

would be

horrified to hear you say that.

It takes the piss.

And there was not one PhD in piss in the whole class, but it takes the piss.

Does that make sense?

Like a thief in a

in a like a thief.

Where's somewhere they keep piss?

In a bag?

In a bag?

I mean like a building, an institution.

Come on, you're a doctor.

You should know this.

We keep piss in fridges.

Um, yeah, but where's the fridge?

Hospital, yeah, is there a piss room where they keep the piss?

No, it would be a medical room like a thief in a medical room, like a weird thief in a medical room.

You are taking the piss.

Why you think

why you think you go wet shits and why you drink and smoke?

Well, I drink smoke because

and how

liquid smoke,

Which is?

What is that?

Where you get?

What a little jar you get in the spice section.

Really?

Yeah, they put the smoke flavor into a liquid.

It's better to actually smoke your meat.

Right, right, right.

When I came here.

You're drinking that.

Well, yeah.

That's bad.

That's giving you diarrhea.

That's probably why you're drinking straight liquid smells.

That's me.

I heard about my dream.

Hey, did you write popular farts, musical and lyrical themes of flatulence in popular music 1996 to 2010.

No, that was my colleague.

Really?

Yes.

Because you would.

It must be something very adjacent to that.

Adjacent.

Yeah, because you were talking about popular music and farts before.

I think this cunt's lying.

No, I'm not lying.

Look it up.

As a doctor, I signed a Hippocratic oath

to...

Even if someone's full of shit, And this guy isn't because he put it all on his bed sheets,

is to help him despite his lies and to, instead of going, you're lying, find out why is he lying.

So my question to you is...

I'm a doctor in psychology.

No, I'm just help people every day.

He's a

like,

he's

not a, he's a medical doctor.

He's not a PhD doctor.

I have a PhD.

In.

In

basically, you know the little bump?

You know the little...

No, no, you know when people have a nose and they've got a little bump at the end?

So the nose is like a little slope and a little bump?

The bridge.

So it's like a little

pixie nose and it's a straight sort of down and then right at the end it's like boop.

And it's like a little Disney nose.

Is it the bridge?

I don't think that's a dude.

No, it's like who like people who look a bit like Hoovians.

You know like little boops?

Boop.

You know the little boop at the end?

Oh yeah, I'm aware that.

You know how a lot of celebrities got it for me.

Yeah, they meet.

They get rid of the bit at the top and they add a little boop at the end.

I invented the boop at the end.

You invented the boop at the end.

That's what I got my PhD.

Oh, because he does plastic surgery.

Is your thesis called Boop in the End?

No, it's called Rhinoplasty Processes and Innovations with.

I don't have a PhD.

I was low.

You're the only one with a PhD here.

Now, what is it?

And you're not a doctor?

No, I'm a doctor.

I don't have a PhD.

He doesn't have a doctor.

Medical doctors.

We're medical doctors.

The fact that you don't know that is fucking weird, man.

No, only, but you see, I only don't know that because my PhD was so specific and intense

that we had no time to talk to others.

But what about when you were doing your Bachelor of Arts?

When I was doing my Bachelor of Arts, I was doing it very different to you boys because I was a bachelor and I was very artistic.

So I spent my time fucking and painting.

Sure.

Sure.

Okay.

What was your dream?

My dream was a better world,

a better world where people looked after each other, loved each other,

took care of business before they took care of themselves.

That was my dream, too.

I used to work, I used to volunteer at Médicin Saint-Frontière.

I love that patisserie.

Actually, it's a global charity,

goes into war zones, supplies medicine without borders.

They sell Penne chocolate, though.

They do sell that.

No, no, they sell.

Freons.

It's free medical care.

Freons

in drought zones and war zones.

Anyway, the point is.

And ladyfingers.

Well, in fact, I wasn't getting my Freons.

I'd get back

and I'd say, God, I could go a Freon, but I don't have any money because I've just been, you know, working for peanuts for Medicine Saint-Frontière.

And I thought, you know what?

At the nut shop, enough of that.

I'm going to become a plastic surgeon.

Look, that's fine, but I'm sorry.

Are you an elephant?

Yes.

Excuse me.

Yes, I am an elephant.

Well, that explains why they were paying him in peanuts.

Yeah, if you haven't noticed, he's a big grey elephant.

Well, I do now, now that it's pointed out.

Now, are you a Thai elephant or an African elephant?

African elephant.

They're the bigger elephant.

And I can stand on a ball for I come from the circus.

Oh, it's a background in the circus.

Did they treat you well there?

Pardon me?

Did they treat you well?

No.

Tell us of the tortures.

Was it torture, more neglect uh you know i was on they put me on a truck mistreatment yeah uh they're a wonderfully smart animal and they look on humans as if we are cute but my question to you is this dream of a better world oh yes carry on

this is the dream you had while you were asleep while you were shitting liquid no no this is just the dream in general that i have for the world it's like a want a need a desire yes thank you elephant i feel we don't take care of the better man or beast thank you you're welcome elephant i'm a man you can call me a man.

Elephant.

I'm a man of a different kind.

Elephant.

You are nor a beast.

No, not a person.

Not John Merrick.

I'm not John Merrick.

I am.

Okay, so to describe what I look like, because this is an audio medium,

I don't look like John Merrick.

But I do look in the same way that Bradley Cooper, when he played John Merrick on stage,

where he performed the deformity

acting alone, no makeup.

I look, I am a man.

I am an actor trying to prove themselves doing the physicality of an elephant.

One arm is my trunk.

My head is a little tail.

Yeah.

You understand?

So you're just wearing underpants.

And I'm just wearing underpants.

And

so I walk onto the stage.

This is a doctor podcast.

I walk onto the stage every night

in underpants.

Doctors.

And the lights go dim, you can hardly see me.

And I go from an actor.

And I transform

into an elephant.

Yeah, beautiful.

Wow.

And you pay $78 for the cheapest ticket.

Yes.

And Bradley Cooper.

And you.

So

I just...

Excuse me, excuse me, elephant.

And you know how I knew...

That sound was not a fart.

Do you know how I knew that?

Because you're a PhD in fart.

Because I'm a goddamn doctor.

Yeah.

Now, you there.

I want to drill down on this dream thing.

Okay.

What were you dreaming?

That'd be great.

What flavour would you like?

Flavour.

Just right.

Flavour cereal.

just right flavor um what what what variety what kind just right flavor works

no not flavor what flavor just right but flavor works to quote craig david what's your i just i just i fundamentally disagree but it works

what do you mean if i got what i meant and i got the answer yes at the at the sacrifice of being factually incorrect but it works doesn't it

communism works

it doesn't

so it doesn't work.

But what happened there was I wanted to know what he wanted.

I said, what flavor?

He answered, it worked.

Well, you know,

chocolate thanks.

I'm a bit of an old soul.

I guess I just do things

in a different way.

Because he said just right.

There's no just right here.

Yes, there is.

There's just right.

There's Nutra Grain.

Here we go.

There's Corn Flakes.

I've got to see a man fall apart.

There's Special K.

What else is there?

There's Sultana brand.

And what's that last one?

And there's this one.

Sorry, you were asking me.

What's that last one that's in there?

Doctor.

Sorry, you were asking him about Doctor.

What's that last one that's in there?

Just right.

It's just right.

You happy?

Just right's my favorite flavor in the box.

Yeah, it is.

I played you, motherfucker.

What?

I knew there was Just Right in there.

But in that moment, in your heart, you knew that the flavor flavor thing worked

It started off very strong.

I really really thought I was gonna work it there.

Yeah now

Now

make it a cereal do you want oat do you want oat milk or do you want

oat or dairy or dairy

dairy milk for you can have a mix kind of mix not too much milk so there's still some crunch

milk for broden

this is falling apart

Well, given the bowl, the bowl's to Broden.

Give it the bowl.

I'm just right to Broden.

He hasn't had his breakfast and he wants some cereal.

Giving the bowl to Broden.

Give me your bowl, Mark.

My bro has...

My bro.

My bowl.

Well, well, my bowl does have...

My bro.

You know what, Mark?

I knew you meant bowl.

So I'll take it.

But if I just said, my bro

has some old oat milk and brownie crumbs in it, I reckon you would have gone,

your bro or your bowl.

You were looking at your bowl, you were picking up your bowl.

Yeah, but safe shit.

I would have figured out you meant bowl.

No, I know you would have known.

What I'm saying is you would have pointed it out.

Are you not a doctor?

Would you like some cereal, my man?

No, I'm okay.

You sure?

I had a brownie earlier.

We should call this the Kellogg's trilogy.

Yes,

I know, because we did one with Maria Bamford.

We should call this the Kellogg's trilogy.

You don't want Sartana, brand?

And the other one.

Now,

I have a question for you, Broden.

In two words,

describe

how right that cereal is.

It's not bad.

Is it too right?

Not right enough?

It's not bad.

Oh, no.

It's not bad.

That's some good cereal.

Yeah.

Well,

I have an appointment with a patient.

With the devil.

No, not with the devil.

No.

You got an appointment with the devil.

No, he

Dr.

Maloney looks after him now.

You gotta go to the devil.

No, I don't.

Stop saying that.

Someone's got an appointment with the devil.

I don't.

I don't.

Is there an early 90s thriller called Appointment with the Devil?

I don't know.

Because that would be a great name for a mid-90s thriller.

Starring Keanu Reeves.

Because you're thinking of, and I'm thinking of that one with the devil in it.

Something with the devil.

Constantine.

Now,

when we go around.

I just apologise to the audience for this episode.

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

Did you want to start?

Do you want me to start?

Oh, you sure?

Often when we come into the podcast studio, we don't have

much to go off.

We will usually do a pre-production meeting the day before where we discuss ideas.

This week, we didn't do that because we were all too busy.

So we came in today with nothing other than

passion in our hearts.

Well, you could say that, but then I would argue that

the results don't show that.

I had a box of Callogg's variety pack in my car.

I bought that in.

I thought that would be fun.

We spoke to Maria Bramford today.

We did three podcasts.

Broden wanted to bring back

Maria Bamford and Albrand together, and I like it.

Did I say

Maria Bramford?

Broden wanted to bring back a crowd,

a fan favorite character, and instead we said, no, let's complete the serial trip.

Well, I was just trying to give some context for why these last three podcasts have been so bad.

And I would like to apologize wholeheartedly.

I would not, I would, I just want to make sure, though, I am not apologizing for the breakfast that I had this morning, which was a brownie and milk.

It was delicious.

It was strange, but it was delicious.

And I suggest everyone out there give that a go.

Brian.

Hey, look, this is a podcast we've been doing for over 400 episodes.

Our goal is to come in every week and find some magic.

Sometimes magic's there, sometimes it's not.

I've loved these episodes.

I'm genuinely have belly laugh.

I've enjoyed them.

If people find them disappointing, it's a shame.

But just don't you worry.

We'll be back next week to bring you something real special.

And

I'm sorry.

Yeah, I didn't really hear the sorry.

I'm not, but yeah.

Great.

Right.

Good job, boys.

I think it's better you don't apologise if you're not sorry.

I just apologise.

I'm sorry.

Yeah.

Great.

I'm really proud of you, boys, for doing that.

So.

You apologise.

I don't feel I need to.

You apologise.

I don't think I need to.

I've had to apologise to you

and the audience.

And why is that?

Because I'm terrible.

Because it's whose fault?

Mine.

Great.

So.

Wow.

I forgot about that.

It's yours and my fault.

Yeah.

Well, thank you so much for listening.

Thank you.

Thank you, Doctor Elephant.

Thank you.

Not a doctor.

Thank you, Doctor of Fart.

You are welcome.

Not Dr.

PhD in Dr.

Ed.

Dr.

Fart.

Dr.

Fart.

Dr.

Dr.

Fart.

With a PhD in fart.

I'm Broden.

Is your PhD in yourself?

No, no, it's in Fart.

That's why he got the title of Dr.

Fart.

No, I changed my name after I got my

name.

Like how the Pope changes their name.

To Fart.

Pope Fart.

Yeah, he changed his name to Fart.

Dr.

Fart.

My name is Dr.

Pope Fart.

Dr.

Pope Fart

II.

Oh.

Yeah.

You wanted to say something, Broden?

Number two.

How was your cereal?

It hit the spot.

Because it was good.

Just

fantastic.

Right.

Oh,

yeah.

Wrap it up.

Let's wrap this one up.

We'll catch you next week.

Just like a...

You love these assimiles, don't you?

Assimiles.

Yeah.

This is like this.

Isn't that just a simile?

Because they're assimilar.

Yeah.

Just like a

packet of cereal in a

just a small portion of cereal in a Kellogg's variety pack of assorted cereals.

This episode is all wrapped up.

And I would say just like a box of favorites, a box of roses, a tin of roses, just like a box or a tin of roses.

I think they're boxes now.

Sometimes you get a caramel one and sometimes you get one of those weird hard minty ones.

It was a weird hard minty one today.

But we hope that we gave you enough of a chocolate fix.

Fucking hell.

Broden, would you like to

apologise to Red?

No, a simile.

A simile.

Okay, much like.

Much like Cocoa Pops.

Oh, fucking...

Oh, that's a danger simile, Broden.

I need to know, is it just simile?

S-I-M.

A simile.

S-I-M, I-L-E.

Imagine smile with one more eye.

But Broden is doing a simile now.

We've done

a simile.

Yeah, we've done a similes.

And now Broden is doing a simile.

Please, Broden, you're a simile.

You're a simile, Alfred.

You're a simile.

You've always been a little a simile.

You can do a simile?

We can do a silly, silly me.

A silly me.

Do a silly me.

I'm being a bit silly, me.

Yes, you are.

Oh, you are a doctor.

He's still Elephant Man.

Yeah.

No, I'm not Elephant Man.

I'm

a man playing an elephant.

It's a man that portrays a beast.

Like the elephant man by Bradley Cooper.

No, the elephant man is not a beast.

He was treated as a beast

by cruel circus people.

Yes.

I'm just an elephant.

A man playing an elephant.

Yeah, a Bradley Cooper type man.

Like Coco Pops.

This episode was a little bit more crunchy than your normal podcast.

Ah, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

But that is actually what some people prefer.

Like a natural wine, the flavor was a little bit challenging.

But this podcast would go well with a spicy fried chicken.

And on that note.

In that chicken, white wine and the natural holds up to the spice.

I understand.

Much like...

What?

I want you to do a simile.

You want me to do a simile?

I want you to do the simile.

The simile.

Do the simile.

The simile.

To close this out, close this out on the simile.

Do the assimile.

I need you to do the assimile.

Which is just the most synonymous, the ultimate a simile.

I can only do magic.

If you want to know what kind of simile we want,

it's like this simile has to be as per so perfect,

as like

a pair of pants.

Like the magical pair of pants

in that movie starring America Ferreira and the cutie from that TV show.

Barbie.

Barbie.

No, that.

Pan Am.

Margot Robbie from Pan Am.

She wasn't in Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants.

I'm talking about Alexis Bledell.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

There are pants in Barbie, though.

There are, but they're not magical pants.

Well,

I got one.

But they need to fit one.

I got one.

But I'm doing a simile to explain the simile.

I get it.

Hold on to it, but I just need you to know this simile needs to fit perfectly like the magical pants of the sisterhood of the traveling pants.

You understand?

Great job.

Much like

bowls of cereal.

Okay.

This

cereal of podcasts.

I'm like, I'm hyping you, man.

I heard a disappointed.

No, no, I'm like, oh.

Much like the bowls of cereal.

Oh.

You can't tell me that wasn't disappointing.

No, I'm excited.

I'm hyping you up, bro.

Much like the cereal.

I can't read that one.

It's because we were doing different sounds.

Much like the cereal that is now.

I'm just going to have to push through.

Yeah, yeah.

Because you guys are teasing me and talking to me.

No, no, no, we're talking.

We're improving, yeah.

Yeah, we're like giving you like little

trying to fuck me here.

No, no, no.

If I was trying to fuck you, then I would fuck you.

I'm not some price pig to be fucked.

I'm a doctor, damn it.

I'm an elephant doctor.

You're a beast.

You're nothing but a beast.

I'm wearing a tie.

Much like.

You are.

Much big elephant neck.

Much like the cereal that is in our ties.

This cereal of podcasts has been digested

by our audience and has caused, much like me in the morn,

some wet diarrhea poo.

There it is.

We came, we gave it a full.

That's beautiful, Mark.

Well done.

Brody, you want to promote your football podcast?

So the footy with Broden.

Every week we cover the ins and outs of the footy.

I got a podcast with my good friend Mish.

You might know her from stuff we've done.

Mark, you've got your podcast coming out.

No, I don't.

Dumb cunt.

Excuse me.

Wow.

That's where you just talk to various dumb cunts.

You're not the dumb comb.

The dumb cunt chronicles with Mark.

With the slogan.

Every Tuesday, I talk to a different dumb cunt.

Find out why they're dumb.

Why they cunt.

The slogan takes one to no one.

Takes one to no one.

Because Mark's a dumb cunt.

Only on iHeart Radio.

I will see you all next week.

You've been listening listening to the Auntie Donner podcast.

Thanks for joining us for another rip episode brought to you by Auntie DonnerClub.com.

See you next week.

Listener.