127. Lack Of Discipline Makes You Ugly

Ryan Seacrest here.

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This episode is going to piss a lot of people off,

but you know what?

I'll do it.

Hi friends.

This week we're talking about how lack of discipline makes you ugly.

And there's a couple of different ways.

I'm going to explain how it makes you ugly.

One is how other people see you.

And one is how you see yourself.

We're going to break all that shit down.

But basically, when it comes to discipline and looking and being attractive and feeling attractive, it all comes down to respect.

That's the core of it.

Because even if someone's kind of ugly, if you respect them, you're going to want to fuck them a little more.

But in all seriousness, when you respect someone, you are more attracted to them. You find them more attractive.
And when you respect yourself, you feel more attractive. So I'm very excited for this episode.
But one little thing I want to throw at you before we jump into all this is the only way that you will begin to respect yourself is by going through hard s***. There's no way around it.
There's no way to get the sense of competence and the sense of respect for yourself or for anyone to get it without going through hard shit or doing some hard shit. It's just the way it goes.
Sorry, babe. Sorry, babe.
I've tried everything. That's why I'm here to share what actually works.
And this episode is probably going to piss a lot of people off. So if you're like a little sensitive little daff daffodil like a little dandelion you can just be like fucked up with one little like blow away click off now i'm just gonna warn you this is for the people who really want to grow and change themselves so you've been warned okay so since this is about being attractive we're gonna start off with how other people see you and then we'll get into your relationship with yourself and how you see yourself and how you feel more attractive.
So when it comes to how other people see you, first thing we're talking about is your body and fitness. And I don't want to be that motherfucker that preaches that shit all the time, but it's true.
And there's so much weight that's held to it. Having a nice body is just the most unspoken, silent flex you can fucking have because it's a silent way to display certain character traits.
Because if someone has a nice body and they're into fitness and they've like built their body to look a certain way, that takes a lot. And it reveals a lot about a person's character.
Like someone has to be very controlled emotionally, physically, they have to be willing to endure pain and physical things that don't feel good. Like you think working out is fun, bitch.
No, I hate it. It shows that someone is able to be consistent and that they're able to work hard.
And those are really, really big character traits that will make someone more attractive. So like just by having a nice body, it's like people think having a Rolex is going to like make people respect you.
They're going to think, oh, they got some money. They're not going to respect you.
Being physically fit demands a certain respect you can't get. Like your best accessory to an outfit is a nice body, bitch.
I hate to say it, but it's the fucking truth. And I'm not fat shaming.
I'm not fucking none of that. I'm not body shaming.
Physically looking a certain way does help. And these are the things that I've observed.
And the big thing about respect when you have a nice body, people kind of like immediately respect you because you hold yourself in high regard. So it immediately makes someone subconsciously hold you in a higher regard.

Because people see it.

Like if they see the way that you treat yourself is good,

they're gonna know that you expect that from them.

They know you're not gonna allow no fuck shit.

And they're not gonna allow you to mistreat them

because they don't even mistreat themselves.

So it sets up this barrier of like respect and like,

oh shit, like I better come correct.

So that's just something I've really noticed and it's fucking hot. Like you don't have to say shit.
Your body just speaks for itself. And that's one of like the biggest things with discipline is like having a nice body shows you are extremely disciplined.
And a lot of people are like, oh, they're born with a good body. A lot of people with good bodies are a lot more disciplined and put in a lot more effort than you think.
So people that grew up like genetically gifted, these motherfuckers, they don't have to put in like that much work to maintain their body or they don't feel like it's that much work. Every single person you see with a good body has to do something for it to maintain it and to get it to look the way that it does.
Whether it's the way that they eat or the way that they exercise. There is something they've done to look the way that they look.
People don't just look good by accident. I promise people like to make it seem like that.
And the way people that look good and just have good genetics, you assume that they just look that good on accident, their daily habits and their relationship with food or their relationship to being active might just be different. So they don't look at it as effort or like they're having to try to do things.
They were just raised a certain way. They've behaved a certain way and done certain things to their body for so long.
It's just their sense of normal. So they don't look at it as effort.
Whereas if you're someone who has like a bad body and you were genetically fucked up like me, you're going to have to put in a lot of effort to change those habits and behaviors and also the genetics that you have to flip it, if that makes sense. And the other thing with respect, I used to look like shit and I had a lot of misplaced confidence.
But if I looked now the way I used to look, didn't really take that good of care of myself, I wouldn't be taken serious.

Like you wouldn't take the things that I have to say seriously. Because when someone just talks about shit, like when they talk the talk, but they don't walk the walk, their fucking opinion and all the things that they're saying are immediately wiped out.
It's just like, it's so easily discredited. And I know that's not always the case, but it adds to it.
Having discipline makes you more credible. I hate that that's the way that it is, but that's how it is.
From someone that's been on both sides. Sorry.
So for me to talk about anything fitness related, it's more trustworthy. And it kind of holds more weight because I have the body to show for it.
Like I have the actual experience and results a lot of people want. So I'm more credible to talk about it.
Like I've talked about before, if you go to a therapist who has just read books and got through school and has a degree. Versus if you go to a therapist who has been through the exact situations you've been through.
Who the fuck do you think is going to actually be able to help you? And who are you actually going to take the advice from? You're going to take it from the one who's been where you are and has actual experience with it because they'll be able to teach you the tips and things that will truly get you out of it and resolve things versus someone who's read what's worked in a book. That shit barely fucking works in real life.
Why do you think so many people are on medication? They don't know how to actually help you, bitch. They prescribe you some shit.
And I'm not saying that people who are out of shape don't have value to share. I'm just saying in the regards to fitness, but I do want to bring that up.
Like there are people who are out of shape that do know a lot and have so much value to contribute. Like you don't get to just write someone off because they don't look a certain way.
I don't like that shit. I'm just saying it holds more credibility, but does that mean that everything they say should be written off? No, you can learn from everyone.
But when the package matches the amount of value you can share, it's valued more and it's more credible, if that makes sense. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest.
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Terms and conditions apply. So that's what I'm talking about with the whole respect thing.
And the same thing goes. Like if I was a miserable fuck and I'm over here sad, drinking every night, and like doing drugs just to fucking get through the day.
If I'm on here making a podcast, sharing ways to like improve your life and to feel better and to be happier. How much of that are you really going to believe if I'm living the opposite? You know?

That kind of derailed for a minute, but you get my point with that.

Now I want to jump into your relationship with food.

That's a big one, and that one's a lot deeper than people realize. And from someone who has had a very bad problem with binge eating in the past,

I'm free to speak about it.

So typically when people have an issue with food,

they get emotional and they'll get upset,

and then they become very careless with the food that they eat and how they treat themselves and what they do. So they get upset and they want comfort and they prioritize gaining comfort over everything.
So they will discard their goals, discard anything they're working toward. They'll discard any of the consequences that are going to come, not look at them, not pay attention to them and just do right now what it takes to feel comforted, which is eat.
And I used to do that a lot. But this is very off-putting because you can't trust yourself.
Like you cannot trust yourself if every time you get upset, you just throw away all discipline and all of your goals and everything that you want just for your right now sense of comfort, because that's what it is. So it proves that you can't trust yourself and other people are going to see that.
They're going to see it in your body. Or if you're someone that's skinny, but still binge eats and has a bad relationship with food, they're going to see it in your behavior.
And then they're going to think to themselves subconsciously, if they can't trust themselves, they're willing to throw everything away for some comfort. Why would I expect not to be thrown away when they need comfort? Because like if we're friends or we're dating and you prioritize comfort and do not care about any of the consequences, it's human nature to assume and to want to stay away from someone because I'm immediately going to think it's going to be subconscious.
The way that you seek comfort and you don't care about any of the consequences and you're willing to throw away everything that you care about for comfort right now, if you get upset with me, you're going to comfort yourself and you don't give a fuck if the way that you comfort yourself hurts me. So you're a liability.
And I know that's like reading too much into shit, but I'm a Pisces. It's what I do.
But this is something that will make you seem less attractive because you're not safe to care about. You're not safe to be with.
If like you show that you prioritize comfort and don't care about the consequences, what's to say that doesn't lead into your personal relationships too? And I guarantee you it does. You're just not aware of it yet because I used to.
So my next thing with discipline is people are going to assess how you'll treat them by watching how you treat yourself and by seeing how committed you are to things and how much you care about things and what you're willing to do for them. And that's just human fucking nature.
We all do it. And this determines how attractive they see you because the biggest thing with humans is like the more people care about you, the more you care about them.
Like there's this weird thing of like the more someone someone loves you, it makes you think you love them more. Cause like they're seeing the value in you.
And it's like, like it's, it's the weirdest fucking shit. It's the weirdest shit.
But it's someone that you see value in when they see the value in you. That's when you feel the love.
But like, there's plenty of people who will be a goddamn simp and you don't give a fuck about them. But even with those, like there's someone like so beneath your like standards, if they show appreciation to you, it makes you think that you like them.
So basically with attractiveness, being controlled and being committed to something is hot. That's the hottest fucking thing you can do because that means you're safe and it shows you're willing to do what it takes for something you care about.
That can unravel in a lot of different ways, but like however it just hits you is how it's needed to hit you. So whatever that just made you aware of, good.
So the next thing I want to talk about is achievements with how other people see you. Because to achieve anything, whether it's socially recognized or not, like if you get a title or a degree or you have some kind of accomplishment, that shows that you have dedication.
You're willing to work towards something. You're willing to commit to something and you're willing to be disciplined for it.
People that have achieved a lot of shit are more attractive. Like when the fuck have you been attracted to someone who's like not done shit? Very rare because people's entire judgment and opinion of me flips when they find out that I am a nurse.
I'm an RN. I worked as an RN for three years.
I graduated at 21 and became a nurse. I quit doing that because I'm doing my own shit now and it's doing good.
But that just knowing I'm a nurse fucks with so many people's heads. And it puts me like in a higher place of respect in a lot of people's minds because it's a reflection of the knowledge that I have, the skills that I have, the dedication that I have, and the fucking drive.
And also the humility because it takes a very humble person and a very like down to earth person to be a nurse and to take care of people at their worst because you have to do a lot of disgusting shit and I'm willing to fucking do it and that right there is just like a big communicator of things about my character that you wouldn't assume just by looking at me and that makes someone more attractive like if I'm just like a cute little face and I just like dance on TikTok and whatever it's like okay cool but when someone has the character reflected behind it and there's so much more than what meets the eye and what they've had to do took an insane amount of discipline, you're 10 times hotter. It makes you so much more attractive.
Like, I don't know how to explain it. I'm explaining it right now.
So I don't know why I'm saying it. I don't know how to explain it.
You fucking get it. You get it.
We all get it. And another thing with like achievements, when you see what I've built for myself online, people immediately respect me more.
It's kind of like they hold you in a higher regard. And like they, I don't want to say they put you on a pedestal, but they kind of do because it's a silent communicator.
Like what I've built online was not fucking easy. It's like a lot of time, a lot of fucking hard ass work, a lot of internal work, and a lot of courage to post myself online.
A lot of people don't have that. A lot of people don't have what it takes.
And you get this sense of respect for someone when you see them do it. Like it's very, very fucking hard.
And people are not going to tell you that. People make it seem like, oh, it's just easy.
You post a couple of videos. No, bitch.
It's a lot. It's a lot to try and like manage and grow and deal with hate and then deal with yourself and then stay consistent and post more prioritizing your time.
Like, Oh my God, it's a Saturday night and I'm recording this podcast episode. You think I have a work life balance? No, my life is work.
And sure there are guys and girls and whatever. And like they's and thems that get famous online just for being hot, but still you respect them a little more because of what they've had to do to get there.
Sure, they pop off fast and they get a lot of followers, but there's so much discipline that goes into the way that they look. And then there's discipline that goes into how much they post and what they post and creating this image that everybody loves.
It's very hard to do. Like you can't deny the fact that you do respect someone more off of their accomplishments that reflect their character.
It's just how it fucking goes. And what did I say about respect? The more you respect someone, the more attractive they are.
Two plus two is four. Okay, so now we're going to jump into how you see yourself and the whole thing with discipline and like feeling attractive.

Your character is what makes you beautiful.

Your character is what makes you attractive or not.

And I don't give a flying fuck what you look like.

When you're dealing with people who are truly with it and truly get it and can truly appreciate you, it doesn't matter what you look like.

It's your inside.

It's the way that you make people feel. It's the way that you care for them.
It's your heart. It's your character that makes you more attractive.
And that is what breeds confidence in yourself. Because if your character is solid, you feel solid.
And when you just know you have good character, you don't give a fuck about shit. You are so much more confident and there's nothing anyone can do.
It's like, okay, you called me ugly. Okay, so what? But I'm reliable.
I'm consistent. I'm committed.
I'm disciplined. And I'm there for people I care about.
And what? So what if I'm ugly? Everything about you that you don't like turns into a so what when you have good character. And when someone has that level of confidence, I don't care if you're a two you're now an eight maybe a 10 maybe get a haircut or something but like you can make that person so much hotter physically but that inside is what's gonna breed that confidence and confidence is attractive and you're just gonna feel it like it doesn't matter what you look like on the outside when you know you you're solid inside, you feel hot.
You feel attractive. You feel fucking great.
And your character is fully in your control. That's one thing I want to say.
You dictate your actions. You dictate the way that you handle things.
I know things happen and you can choose to handle them a certain way or not, but your character is fully in your control. And when you feel like your character is solid, you feel more attractive.
That's why I wanted to bring this up. So something that will make you feel unattractive is if you do not show up for yourself because you're showing you're unreliable.
When someone's unreliable, it makes them ugly. I don't give a fuck how hot you are.
If you're unreliable, you lose hot points. You lose a whole bunch of them.
You get knocked down from like a 10 to a five real fast. And then you got one chance to have one other character flop.
Boom. You're a two or it will just make someone that's very hot.
So unbearable to be around if they don't have the character to match it. So it doesn't matter if you're hot, it's discredited, but showing up for yourself and doing what it takes to like reach your goals and doing what it takes to get to what it is that you want basically shows yourself that you will endure pain and discomfort for yourself and that breeds self-trust and when you trust yourself that is the most attractive energy you can fucking walk around with and when you finally do trust yourself I have a whole podcast episode about how to trust yourself.
But when it comes to discipline and showing up for yourself, when you are disciplined and you know you're going to show the fuck up for yourself no matter what, and you do it, that relationship that gets built with yourself, that shit's going to make you walk taller. It's going to make you feel different.
It's going to make you feel hot. It's just the best shit.

And that changes like the way that you present to others.

Like when you're fucking with someone who trusts themselves, they're hot.

I don't care how ugly they are actually physically.

Like they're hot inside, which makes their outside hotter.

And that specifically will make you respect yourself.

Like when you can trust yourself and you know that you'll show up no matter what,

the trust breeds respect.

And it's like, yeah, I'll go through hard shit for myself.

It is Ryan here and I have a question for you.

What do you do when you win?

Like, are you a fist pumper, a woo-hoo-er,

a hand clapper, a high-fiver?

I kind of like to high-five,

but if you want to hone in on those winning moves,

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See terms and conditions 18 plus. But the character and the self-trust thing has me so confident.
I don't even care i'm up against someone hotter than me i'm not intimidated i'm not nothing like if i'm trying to date a dude and this is never gonna happen because i would cut them off like i'm never an option if like a guy was trying to pick between me or another guy who was a 10 and let's say i'm like not that cute i feel like there's work to be done for me to be a 10 but let's say this guy i was interested in was trying to pick between me and another guy even if the guy is hotter than me i'm not intimidated because i know what the fuck's in here i know how i treat people i know my character i know how i trust myself i know how i feel about myself i know the needs i can meet for people i know the way my brain fucking thinks i know the way that i behave and like i said emphasis on that character part. Like, I know the needs I can meet for people.
I know the way my brain fucking thinks. I know the way that I behave.
And like I said, emphasis on that character part. Like I know that's so strong.
And the people who are truly able to see that will value it beyond comprehension. Like they'll choose me over anyone once they see that character and once they see what the fuck is in front of them.
So once you establish that confidence with yourself and you get that character set, bitch, you're the most hot thing in the fucking world. Like it doesn't matter if someone's hotter than you.
It doesn't match internally. Most hot people are stupid.
Most hot people are just dumb, like empty. Like they're so based off their instinct.
It's just annoying. Like if they're hungry, they eat.
If they're horny, they fuck. That's hot people, typically.

And the next part of this I want to talk about is having discipline to take care of yourself.

So when you're disciplined and you do things that will better yourself, whether it's a fucking skincare routine or you work out or you eat better or you work toward a goal

business-wise or like you make more money, whatever it is, if you take any step toward

caring about yourself and caring about what you want, when you invest energy into yourself, you care about what you invest your energy into. So if you feel like you don't care about yourself and you don't like yourself, as soon as you start putting energy into yourself, you're going to care about it more because you're invested.
You have things invested into it now. It's easy to just walk away from something you've put no effort into and you invested nothing into.
So when you do start investing into yourself, that shit's going to flip and you're going to feel like you care about yourself and you're going to feel better. Like the thing you invested in is going to make you care about it more.
And if that's yourself, perfect. That's the first fucking thing you should always invest in.
But when you put energy into taking care of something, you feel better about it. And you're going to feel more attractive.
So if you're doing things and putting effort into yourself, you're just going to feel more attractive. And you're going to present more attractive.
And then you're going to gain this confidence that comes from that. Like that's truly how to flip it from like not liking yourself or not caring about yourself.
Just shut up and go through the actions and pretend like you care about yourself and just do the actions that are caring. And you're immediately going to start feeling better because like I said, you invested energy.
You're going to start to care about yourself. There's no way around that bitch.
Try it. But when you're disciplined like that and you put that effort into yourself and you show yourself you're worth caring about.
As you keep going through those actions, things are just going to get better and better. You're going to look better.
You're going to feel better. You're going to achieve more.
And then the confidence you're going to have from that alone. Bro, like I said before, you're going to walk taller.
You're going to be the tallest motherfucker in the room. Like once you put that fucking discipline towards yourself, like your fucking dick is going to grow 10 you're not gonna give a fuck about nothing like you're literally just gonna be like so confident and what is the most attractive thing confidence even if it's misplaced you know if it's misplaced it's ugly but confidence just because you know that you'll take care of yourself the way people walk around that act act like that, it's just hot.
It's so hot. And you're going to feel hot because you're just confident.
Like, yeah, I take care of myself. There's no better feeling.
So if you're lacking the motivation to take care of yourself, listen to my episode on motivation. I have a whole podcast episode about motivation.
It's I think it's on the audio version. So it's on Spotify and Apple podcasts.
Just search of aware and aggravated. But you don't have to have motivation to care about yourself and to do a skincare routine and to eat right you don't you just got to have the willpower and the discipline to do it and that confidence I was talking about when you start to care about yourself it just comes from contentment because you know you will achieve things like when you put your ass behind it you just know you're gonna do.
And sometimes all you can control is how committed you are to something and what you're willing to go through for it. You can't control how a situation ends up or how things go.
All you can control is how committed you are and what you're willing to go through for what it is that you want. So the discipline is going to get you to a point where you have courage and what's hot.

Courage. Courage is so fucking hot.
But courage makes you feel more attractive. Let's throw to the side how other people are looking at you.
Of course, other people are going to look at you like you're more attractive when you are courageous, but you're going to feel more attractive. And that's one driving point I wanted to throw in this episode.
Okay, so the next thing is emotions with discipline and being controlled. When you do not let your emotions dictate what you do or don't do, your life no longer falls victim to the way that you feel.
If you just do what needs to be done, regardless of the way that you feel, sure, take your feelings into consideration, be there for yourself, comfort yourself. But if you do not let being upset or being tired sway what you need to get done, you're no longer going to walk around this earth feeling scared and uneasy.
Because when you just live based off your emotions, like, oh, I'm going to skip the gym today or I'm going to skip work today because I'm tired. Whenever you have a goal for something, if you've proven to yourself every time you get tired, you're going to give up, you're going to be uncertain about everything in fucking life because you cannot control anything.
If you can't control your actions, even when you're feeling a different emotion, you'll never feel secure with yourself, with anything you want, with what you're going to get out of life. It's just this uneasy feeling that I'm so fucking glad I got rid of.
And you're going to have that until you just do what the fuck needs to be done. And you're going to present with an energy of certainty and stability.
Those are another two very attractive traits. Like when you can just feel that someone is certain and they're stable with their self because they know they'll do what needs to be done regardless.
That shit, again, hot. But this basically leads you to feeling impenetrable.
Like if nothing can stop you, it's more like unstoppable. Like if nothing can stop you, bro, the way that's going to make you fucking feel when you have that character trait specifically being unstoppable you know you'll accomplish anything you set your mind to shit there's no like beating that one okay so now i'm gonna talk about something with motivation when it comes to discipline and how to kind of make motivation easier like i said i have the whole episode on motivation but this is just like a little nugget for this episode.
So many times, most days out of the week, I do not feel like going to the gym. Right now, I do not feel like recording this podcast episode.
I have a hundred fucking things to do. I'm sick.
I'm tired. I don't want to be doing it, but here I fucking am.
I post on Sundays. We got Sunday service with Leo.
Literally, I post on Sundays. And if I'm going to identify with that and claim that and state that, I got to put my ass behind it.
But my point with the motivation is having a track record makes things so much easier. So basically, it gets easier to do shit The more proof you have that you've done it and

that you can do it. So how I have like 60 something episodes now, all the times I have been like,

fuck, I don't want to record right now, but I have to get the episode out by Sunday.

Right now I feel like I just don't want to do it. And it's easy to let those emotions take over.

But when you have a track record and you can see the strength that you've exuded so many

times, it gives you a sense of credibility and it assures you and it kind of validates

how strong you are.

And it's very hard to feel incapable when you have a fuck ton of proof to back up.

You will do what needs to be done.

And that is the biggest motivation.

Because knowing I have posted for the last Sunday, for the last like year and something, I'm like, girl, what is this Sunday? I've been tired before. I've not wanted to do it before.
I could do it right now. And here I am.
But the point I have with that is it's easier to go as you go. Like it's easier to continue as you go.
And as you have more proof of like times you've done it. So if you're trying to go to the gym, if you can look back and say, Oh, I've been to the gym for the last two months.
What the fuck I can go today too. It's just going to stack on itself.
So you have to get through that first like brunt of like not having any proof to like look back and have proof. You have to just do the hard shit and build that proof for yourself to be able to look back on.
And then shit gets so much easier. Like the more proof you have of your strength, the easier it is to be reminded of it and see it.
And the easier shit will feel just goddamn do it. And also with that, the more you invest in something, the harder it is to quit.
So how much I've invested to this podcast already, like how much time and effort and energy, you think I'm going to fuck up now? Like I've invested so much that I'm like, I'm not fucking it up. So that's my biggest trick.
If you want to make sure you don't quit something is invest so much into it that the pain of quitting is worse than the pain of continuing.

And that is truly what the fuck is going to keep you on track and kick you in the ass when you need it. The only time you feel the urge to quit is when you feel like there's a relief from pain.
But if you have so much pain on the other side of quitting, you ain't choosing that. Like it's easier to just continue forward.
so one more thing about discipline and kind of like being more attractive is the most endearing thing that you can do is look out for your future self. It's to do something now to make sure you get where it is you want to go or you feel good or you just do something you know you need to fucking do.
Like the most caring thing you can do is take care of your future self because you don't want your future self to have to deal with consequences. Like sure, is it easier to just lay in my bed right now? Yeah, but I'm in front of this camera doing this because it's in line with my goals and my values and what I want to do.
And also it's preventing me from tomorrow feeling regret and shame and like fuck and feeling disappointment. Like I'm preventing my future self from feeling that way so I'm doing this now so tomorrow I get to have a good day but looking out for yourself and showing yourself how you can care for yourself and take yourself into consideration that's hot as fuck to other people and that's gonna make you feel hot as fuck okay that's one thing you can't deny like just feeling how you can love someone is fucking beautiful so for you to give yourself that same love oh my god it just makes you feel so hot please i know i'm being very like superficial like oh it makes you feel hot but like it makes you feel so good when like i said you experience the love you have to give.
So the way you take other people into consideration,

take your future self into consideration.

Experience that love that you show toward yourself

and it's going to make you feel so much more beautiful

because you are.

And on my final note,

the last thing I always tell myself

before I have to do some shit I don't want to fucking do

is you're going to be happy when you're done

or you'll be happy tomorrow

because right now I feel the biggest sense of. Because I'm done with this fucking episode.
And I'm happy I did it. I'm so glad I just got this shit over with.
So I hope this episode was helpful. If you liked it, leave it a thumbs up.
If you're listening to the audio version, leave me a 5 stars rating. Thank you.
Leave me a comment down below. If you have anything to say, that's nice.
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On that note, everybody be safe. Take care of yourself.
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