28. Cutting Off Family, Feeling Behind In Life, & Signs It's Over- WWLD

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I was considering if I should garden or not before this a little bit.

You know, take the edge up, relax.

But I need to be level-headed.

This week we're doing a What Would Leo Do?

Hi, friends.

First person said, sometimes I think I'm just the best person ever but why I be crying at night? Me three months ago could have wrote that. Is that me? Hey.
Hey you. Is that me? Let me do what my Pisces brain does.
I gotta stare at it for a second so I can read deeper into it. Sometimes I think I'm just the best person ever but why I be crying at night? I assume you're crying at night because of yourself.
But when I've felt like this, where I'm like, I don't see what's the issue. Why be upset? Like when you have to deal with what you have to deal with at night alone by yourself.
Usually you're the best person for everybody else, but not yourself. Because like you can look around logically and see how you're there for other people.
You see, oh, I know why this person would like me. I know why this person cares.
Like, all the external boxes are checked. You feel good.
You feel fine with everybody else and how you're perceived. And, like, the outside version of you.
But the inside version of you at home, you don't like that motherfucker. you'll be crying when you're alone with them so i would just say yeah you got the external right as in you have all your connections outside of yourself set everybody's good everybody's fine but when it comes to yourself at night when you're sitting there reflecting and maybe you have guilt or you're replaying scenarios in your head you're like why did i said that maybe i shouldn't have said that if it's that kind of dialogue while you're crying at night go into it overthink a little bit overthinking is good sometimes it makes yourself reflect so fucking look at it if you said something stupid okay learn from it don't say it no more but if you're crying at night because you don't like who you are with yourself, okay, what's the problem? You know exactly what to do.
Why you don't like yourself. What's going to make you want to hang out with Drew a little more? It's really not that fucking hard.
Nobody just wants to do it. Nobody wants to look at themselves and be like, okay, everybody else likes me, but I don't, and I'm going to cry about it.
I get it.

Like, that's the hard part, is looking at yourself.

Okay, why don't I like me?

And then be that.

But you're also going to have to trade off some of the other relationships with what you changed to like about yourself.

You're not going to be just molding your personality to be everything that everybody else wants you to be.

For you to stop crying by yourself, you might have to make other people cry a little and that's okay it's the way to cookie crumble okay next person said my mom and dad are separated i got into a fight with my dad he's a drug dealer so i have a lot of resentment why you nothing wrong with doing what you got to do sometimes i'm just kidding one time we got into a fight and i swung on him 17 years old my mom called the cops on me now i'm 25 and trying to figure out if i should ever forgive her she's also abandoned my brothers and now she has my sister who's five years old and i'll be moving closer to help with my sister because my baby sister's dad just went to treatment I don't know if I'm keeping up with the whole fucking story but this sounds like a media movie hit him with a frying pan so the thing you want to know about is should you have a relationship with your mom after what happened I would say no she failed you as a mom you got into an altercation with her boyfriend and she called the cops on you in my opinion in my book your mom failed you your mom failed as a mother in that situation did you go to jail or anything did you do time did they press charges like i need more information most people write way too little or way too much where I don't want to fucking read it. But this situation, don't feel bad.
If you don't want to have a relationship with your mom again, don't. She's a liability.
Whenever something happens, that's a liability standing there in the corner. You're going to have to worry and watch your own ass.
And that's something you never should have to do around your family, in my opinion. Your family should be there no matter what.
Your whole hesitation is valid with trying to have a relationship with your mom again. A lot of people are not going to tell you that.
A lot of people play the whole, oh, it's your parent. It doesn't fucking matter the title.
If someone betrays you this hard, anyone can become a liability and a threat to you, regardless of their title. So your mom clearly showed there's no concern for you over her partner.
And there's no concern for your future because you were 17 when it happened. Your mom called the cops knowing that would make a record for you what an irresponsible and inconsiderate that's someone who gave birth that like you don't have that maternal instinct of like protect your child come on i don't get that and i'm getting a little heated with this one i knew i should have smoked but don't feel bad for not wanting to have a relationship or feeling hesitant to have a relationship.
Betrayal has been done. Like, betrayal has happened.
It's a common theme here. We don't believe in forgiveness.
Some things can be forgiven, but some things are unforgivable. And disloyalty is never forgiven and it never should be, no matter the title.
If you want to challenge it, a lot of people get mad because I say, I don't believe in forgiveness. Like, oh, that's against religion.
Where the fuck is Lucifer? If you want to bring religion into it, this loyalty is never forgiven, and it is punished. Because where is Lucifer?ifer exactly don't feel bad don't feel guilty do what you got to do if you don't want to have a relationship don't have one if you do want to have one you watch your ass and i would lay down a line of like never being around the boyfriend if he's still around or if there's any new partners that come around the stove already burnt you once don't let it burn you twice but i know that feeling of like you when you miss your

mom the boyfriend if he's still around or if there's any new partners that come around the stove already burnt you once don't let it burn you twice but I know that feeling of like you when you miss your mom and you want to talk to her and see her unfortunately your mom comes with a lot of risk but I understand the heart string that's being pulled if you want to try it and you want to go have a relationship because you genuinely want to not because everybody around you is guilty in you go for it and do it. And if you don't, you have zero reason to feel guilty for it.
All right, next. What would you do if you're having the feeling like you are behind in life compared to others of the same age? I don't relate to that and I don't care.
There's a lot of people my age who have a lot of more traditional things that they've accomplished and done, like gotten married and had kids and shit. I'm choosing my own little life path, wherever it's going to go, wherever it's going to take me.
Like, yeah, I'm speaking from a perspective of like, okay, I've become successful and I've got a lot of shit going for me. So it's a little different when I'm talking about it, but I really don't give a damn.
And in the past I've felt behind before, but I just used it to look at my life and be like, okay, it's not feeling behind that. I was like bothered about it's seeing other people, my age doing more made me realize what the fuck I'm doing.
Don't just sit there in the guilt about it. Okay, you feel behind.
Okay, why? What do you want to change? And then change it. What are you going to do? Just sit there and be sad and just, oh, I just feel so behind.
You're never going to be able to think your way into better actions. You got to act your way into better thoughts.
So if you don't like where you're at, don't just sit and be oh i'm still behind run faster if you realize you're running a race and you behind and you losing you number three not even number two you slipped you fucked up you number three if you don't realize you're number three in the race and don't get that like adrenaline spike of like i'm gonna sprint that's what's supposed to happen start sprinting okay start making up for lost time do your shit and you're not behind because you don't have what they have so figure out exactly what you want because it's not what everybody else has you're just being triggered to think about it so think about it and then run towards that behind for what who the fuck says who's behind who like what's the ideal life supposed to be because everybody i know that's my age 26 and married with kids they miss a boo they don't like what they're doing they feel trapped they have no freedom there's a give and a take also that's one thing to ask yourself if you feel behind do you even fucking want what society is telling you you should have at this age do you want it i fucking don't i don't want to be paying for kids and shit i want to be going to versace store having fun my birthday's coming up i'm almost a year with no alcohol can't wait to get drunk i'm going to cabo that's what i would like to be doing at my age. Not over here with a kid for what? Because society says so.
Boo hoo. I don't give a damn.
I'm trying to have fun. Okay, next.
Here we go. I feel like I'm the only person that can meet my standards.
I don't know if it's too high or what, but I feel like since I meet my own standards, they aren't too high. But then again, I haven't met anyone that I feel genuinely meets my standards dating wise.

I only have two good friends who do meet my standards.

So should I drop them a little or no?

How do you not see what you're saying?

I don't think there'll be anybody who will ever meet my standard.

But I do have two best friends who meet them.

Two best friends who meet your standards is more than most people have you have two not just one but two people who meet your standards as a friend and you over here questioning if there's a partner out there potentially you already got two people living proof you got it in your life already how hard is it for them to be who they are you see it's not hard it's not hard for you to be who you are so when you meet somebody it's just gonna be a matter of time and dating is a fucking numbers game as annoying as it is it's a numbers game amount of people you're gonna meet amount of interactions you're gonna have eventually you're gonna find them but as soon as you get to that point of like frustration with something what i've learned is as soon as you get to that point of like should i drop my standards are my standards too high that is the moment you recommit you do not drop your standards because you're gonna get fucked up and you're gonna end up being lower than your own standards before that's what happened yeah that's what happened go date somebody beneath the standards you're gonna get dog walked dragged across the fucking concrete on a leash emotionally sometimes physically and then you're gonna have to recover from that to get back to your standard to be like okay yeah i'm not dropping them again so let me just go ahead and shortcut you that. No, your standards aren't too fucking high.
You need to question, what is it that I actually want? And how hard am I willing to recommit to finding it and meeting this person? You might be realizing you want a different type of person. So evaluate that.
Someone beneath you, they're never gonna make you feel good. They're never gonna, oh my God, you're never just gonna be like oh okay you a little ugly you a little stupid but like i'm happy i dropped my standards for you jay-z cheated on beyonce so the worst feeling is when you get cheated on by someone uglier to you so at least get cheated on by someone who is hot.
You know. Oh, we got a college question.

It's been a minute since I was there.

Yes, I graduated.

Straight A's.

I did get one B, I think.

Shut up.

Leo, what would you do if you're halfway into college and lose interest in your major?

It don't bring me happiness anymore.

I thought for the longest time that it's what I wanted to do, but I feel lost. The hell you asking me for? You know exactly what to do.
You know, you don't like what you thought you'd like anymore. Okay, so change it.
Literally going to college and people expecting you to figure out what you're supposed to do with the rest of your life. Right after your finally drop that's unrealistic you're like 18 is like your nuts been dropped but being 18 years old and expecting to like make this decision it's like okay i'm gonna love this one thing you didn't know if you'd like it until you started walking into it so whatever your major was okay this idea of what this career path could be like i like what

it's what the trailer of the movie could be you start watching the movie and you realize i don't fucking like the movie you're gonna keep watching it and waste your time and finish it or you're gonna turn it off and find a new one yeah there's a lot of consequences that come into switching it and changing it. I get it.
But if you're aware, by taking two steps down the path of it, instead of going 10 miles down to the end, you realize that ain't the path you want to be on, jump, change it. Because as soon as you know it's not what you want, okay, cool.
But it's not a thing of like, oh, it's hard. I don't want to do it's a discipline issue get your fucking shit together okay go study get your degree you got to go make some money if it's a thing of like you genuinely have zero interest in the thing that you thought you would like and it's like draining you you don't want to go you don't want to be there you want to do it you want to die then change it because why are you going to keep committing yourself to the path you don't want to be on for what okay it only took you two steps to gain clarity you're lucky you're not 20 years into the career like most people being like damn i wish i would have switched back when i was still in college and i knew this wasn't what i wanted just switch it life becomes a lot easier once you just just do shit.
Like just switch it and just watch what happens. Watch how easy it gets.
Watch how much easier it is than you thought and watch you actually handle it and then you like what you're doing better. You're like, oh wow, what the hell? You know what this path is like.
You don't like it. You don't want it.
So why are you going to choose to keep walking down walking down it oh because i'm scared of what my parents would think i'm scared of what my friends would think i'm scared of the life you're going to have to live with something that you hate if you don't get out of it a lot of people don't have rich parents and like trust funds to fall back on you got to set yourself up and get a fucking degree so you always got a job so like you go take a business adventure or you try something it don't work you fall on your ass you could pick yourself up and get a fucking degree. So you always got a job.
So like you go take a business adventure or you try something. It don't work.
You fall on your ass. You could pick yourself up.
You never fall back to zero when you secure yourself. So if you want to do that, do it and just get through it.
Plus, once you have a degree and you're out of school and you're making money, you have money to invest into trying more things and maybe going different routes if you want to go them. So it's up to you.
These are a lot of different perspectives I'm throwing at you. But if it's just something that you're like doing to get a degree and make some money and secure yourself, shut up and go through it and get it done.
Make the best of it. It's going to suck.
You only have to get through it once. Do it.
But if it's something that you're trying to commit your entire life to and you're like i just want one career and i want this to be it if you're realizing this ain't it switch it immediately no questions days it's just a matter of when you're gonna switch it because you have the awareness now but you hate it so the universe god whoever you believe in is gonna turn that fucking heat up to make everything go way worse and be way worse until you finally jump course. It's not going to let you keep going down this path.
You're going to have to change it. So like you're going to be forced to change it.
You're going to change it by choice. You got this.
You're going to be just fine. Next person said he had a manic episode last June and moved away.
Says he still loves me and it's us, but I haven't seen him since.

I knew he had a mental illness when I met him and something like this was a possibility.

What the hell you want me to do?

He had a manic episode and he moved away.

He abandoned you.

He said he still loves you.

Okay, he's a looney tune.

What'd you expect? If he's going to do that, let him go do that. But if he's not the type of clinically insane where he has like hospitalization periods, he's just someone like I talk about with these TikTok people who are like, I mean, can he ill and they need all this shit? A lot of people use their like mental illnesses as an excuse for their behavior when they don't want to take responsibility so it's like the typical thing of like when a guy cheats on you and he's like oh well it's my grandmother died when i was two shut the fuck up shut up people use it as an excuse all the time so one question ask yourself ask yourself, is that the kind of love you want? Is somebody who abandons you? Maybe that's the way he shows love.
Okay, he loves you so bad, but he's still going to do what he wants to do regardless of how you feel. Is that the kind of love you want? Is that kind of love ever going to get you where you want to go in life? If you want kids, if you want marriage, if you want someone that's actually around, is that the person that you should be dedicating your time to? No.
if you want to go in life if you want kids if you want marriage if you want someone that's actually around is that the person that you should be dedicating your time to no if you want to go for like a crazy time have a blast with life and have some lana del rey type shit go for it have fun with your little looney tune but if you're asking me like do i think he loves you in his own little way but do you want somebody who loves like that who could be so in love with you it's always me and you and then they're gonna run away for a year that could not be me i would hit him with the car i would chase you down and run you down okay next i matched with a guy on tinder i found out he used to talk to my old friend they never met in person am i in the wrong to seek something out with him? Her and I have not been friends since August of 2024, and I had no idea they used to talk. Okay, he talked to your old friend.
That's one piece. They didn't date.
They didn't, nothing was serious. Okay, so they talked.
My moral code always comes in in this situation. It all depends on how you left things off with that friend if it was the friendship where it was like a fallout and it was a fuck you or a betrayal or y'all are not on good terms go be with him if you want to be with him bets are off no loyalty is owed but if it's a friendship where it was one of those that like faded out or like you kind of just like grew your own separate ways but like you still care from afar text her or just call her be like hey no we haven't talked whatever start a conversation and ask her if she's cool with it i personally would do that but if it's a bitch you don't fuck with no more and she did something wrong to you okay go play with him go fiddle his diddle if you want to who cares the loyalty and the respect is owed when there's nothing damaging or any kind of betrayal has gone on i'd say definitely reach out to the friend if you guys was cool but yeah that's what i would do actually what am i thinking i would not be on tinday that's what leo would do Leo and I be on fucking Tinder.
And this is a fucking serial dater.

He messes with your friend, talked to her, matched with you. You just another bitch in his pond.
Sorry. I don't mean to sound so harsh about that, but like men on dating apps are mad weird.
Leo would not be on Tinder. Leo would block everybody.
Next person sent in a little would you rather. They said, would you rather spend your life in a relationship that didn't have that magic because it's secure and you're somewhat happy or spend a brief time with an amazing love for only a short period of time? Security is not what removes the magic.
The magic happens for me when we're secure. I would rather have the long one than the short brief one with an amazing love for only a short period of time i don't want to lose that but you can make the secure relationship where you're somewhat happy be one where you very much happy you want to feel magic do molly together you want to take it there you want to have have the sex of the spark and crazy love?

There you go.

But I would want the long one.

You're not leaving me.

If I love you so bad, you love me so bad.

Till death do us part.

That's the only way.

So if you want to leave, die.

I don't want the, oh, it was an amazing love for a short period of time.

What happened?

Did somebody kill them? Because I would have to go to prison. I would have to kill them for killing the person i love so bad you know it's not gonna be a good time i would do the long one yes long okay like security to me that is what makes it magic what the hell else you need security comes with loyalty respect and trust, and trust.
And safety. Like emotional safety.
You could talk. Like you did.
How you only a little bit happy and it's secure. What the fuck is wrong with you? Me mad at you like this is not just a would you rather question.
I'm going to nitpick it apart. But I'm taking the secure relationship.
I'm good. Because you said the crazy fast kind of love is not secure.
Because you said it's secure but you'd rather have the other one so now I don't want that toxic shit I would like a long secure nice relationship I'll make it toxic don't worry about that okay this next one I really want to make sure I talk about someone said would you still buy father's day birthday and Christmas gifts for your ex that you share a child with that's under one when they cheated on you? Or would you wait until your child was older to pick out the gifts themselves? I'm so conflicted. We don't have a good relationship, but he wants to be involved with the kid.
He says he wants nothing to do with me, but wants stuff to do with her. I left because he was on Tinder and messaging other girls while in the delivery room.
I don't believe he would return the thought if I got him stuff for those significant days. Don't you fucking dare buy him a single gift.
Don't you dare spend a second with your pretty little fingers writing him a single card. it's a warped, like I know you want to like talk to him and it's your way of doing it through your kid.
Like, oh, the baby got you a card. The baby got you a gift.
You both know that it was you. Do not.
It's not your obligation. It's not your responsibility.
You're not a bad mother if you don't do that. kid doesn't know what's going on and for the dad if he expects you to be doing that that's some manipulation bullshit do not this man was on tinder while you were pushing out your child i hope your family was there and they jumped him in the parking lot wow oh i know you feel bad and i know you want to do this stuff i hope you don't fucking want to but i know you feel like obligated to do it you're not obligated at all if you needed like reassurance or like outside neutral perspective you got it i'm genuinely sorry that you're in this position but i'm so proud of you for leaving him but you left the obligation to do anything for him also when you left him.

So don't let it eat you up.

Don't let it make you feel bad.

You should never feel bad.

If you bought a bird and trained it to shit on his car

every single time you saw him,

you still shouldn't feel bad.

That's what he gets.

Next person said,

can you do a video about banking stuff?

No one has taught me about it

and I'm scared to mess it up. Is that something y'all would want? Is like my advice about finances and like what I've learned about banking and credit cards and all that shit? Because when I was 18, I didn't know what credit was.
I heard everybody talking about credit this, credit that. I was like, I don't know what the fuck that is.
So when I was 18, I went into the bank and I was like, hey, and I sat down with one of the bank tellers and I was like, what is credit? And she took me in her office and like pulled out this thing and explained to me what it was. And then set me up with a secured credit card.
And like, should I make an episode? Do y'all want that or no? I feel like everybody could like benefit from it. Because I take advantage of the points when you use credit cards.
And I also have tactics of like getting shit for free. I just got a PlayStation 5 for free because I had so many fucking points.
I got myself a PlayStation and it was free from the credit cards. So if you want my like tips and like what I've learned in my journey on it, I will make an episode.
Just comment and tell me. All right, next person said my unemployed...
Sorry. My unemployed dad takes $1,000 from me me in rent he ends up getting like 4.3k from my mom me and his government aid but we're somehow still in debt he's abusive as hell but i don't want to leave my 11 year old sister here with him if you want to know if you should move out if you're old enough to move out out, yes, and take the sister with you.
Or if you can't legally take the sister with you, you don't live in the U.S. because of the way you typed.
I clocked it. So you might have different rules about where you live.
But if you get your own place and your sister has a place she can escape to, you're set. She might have to live with the parents legally, but if she can always just escape to your place and come to you, that's fine.
But if you do want to stay to protect her and make sure that she's good, your dad taking a thousand dollars from you for rent, I would look at it like it's like paying rent to stay somewhere. I wouldn't look at him like I owe you shit like you're my dad.
Okay, I pay you a thousand bucks.

I'm going to treat you like a roommate.

I would walk in and walk out.

You don't get to tell me what to do.

You don't get to call the shots. I'm paying the money and ask money to shut the fuck up.

This is from my room that I've got here.

That's how I would look at it mentally.

So you don't get too caught up in like being the whole like good kid dynamic

and like still feeling like you fall into like child obligations to your dad who's clearly a dumbass and doesn't care about your family like how you getting 4.3k every month taking it from the wife and the kid how is a man taking money from the wife and the kids oh my god i want to beat my head into the wall with today's society. That makes me disgusted.

Truly.

Like I'm disgusted for you and I feel so bad for you.

Him being a failure as a father is not the concern here.

Like I said, look at it like a thousand bucks is paying your rent

and treat him like a roommate.

You don't owe him shit.

That's how I would look at it.

And if he's got a problem with it and you looking at him like a roommate,

say, okay, I'm paying you a thousand bucks to live here. If you prefer I leave and go get my own place, I will.
It kind of like puts you in the dominant position when it comes to that like emotional shit of like, you're my son. No, but my first thing still stands of like get your own place and have an escape for your sister where you can go also for your mom if your mom needs to escape and go somewhere that's what I would do because the thousand bucks you're already spending just consider that going to a place of your own go get it okay next person said how to stop feeling so guilty when I say no to people if there's something I don't want to do and I say no I always feel super guilty then I feel I feel bad and do it anyways.
How do I stop feeling so guilty? Stop doing shit out of obligation. And I know it's easier said than done, but just look at it from the perspective of, would you want someone to do something for you or hang out with you or do something that you asked them to do that they really didn't want to do just because they felt bad? Would you want them to do that? Would you want them to have to do that? No.
So the same way that you're forcing yourself to do that for other people, they can feel it. Like, you know, when someone doesn't want to be somewhere or they're just like doing something out of obligation, you can feel it.
It's an element of disconnection. Also, you're never going to feel close to them.
You're like, I'm just obligated with the fact you're going to be so excited to go be back back by yourself learning how to say no gives you freedom to do what you actually want to do because if you always just go with obligation you're not doing anything loving for that person i know that's harsh and it's like hard to hear but that's a perspective that set me free is i wouldn't want other people to do shit for me out of obligation and have that like low-key little like underlying resentment towards me so i set it up where everybody's fully fine to tell me no no hard feelings no nothing i don't give a damn i have fun with myself regardless so if people don't want to come do something okay i'm still gonna go but the other thing with the guilt when you feel bad and then you decide to go you're basically just trading off one feeling state for another so you're trading off the guilt that you feel you're like okay you're sitting here in the guilt i said no i didn't want to do it but i feel so bad in the guilt i'm gonna trade for a feeling state of being drained and going to do whatever i have to do and dragging myself through it you're just trading off which one you want to have. So if you're used to trading the guilt, that's the one that you're weakest to.
You need to sit there in the guilt and understand it. Why do you feel so guilty? Why do you feel like a bad person? What bad thing you think is going to happen because you said no to this thing? That's the time to reflect.
You keep running from it. So sit in it for a second.
Stop being weak to guilt because the way people behave and the way people act when they feel guilty is not them. And it's not logical.
You get to agree in all kinds of shit. That's not logical because you just feel guilty.
Don't do it. Learn how to sit with the guilt.
And if you don't do it, you'll be forced to do it because you're going to keep going and going and going and going with the obligation.

You're going to get to a point where you're burned out, you're tired, you're exhausted.

Maybe an ailment hits you and you have to stop doing things.

Your body will stop you if you don't stop.

So you only really got one option and it's not to live your life out of obligation.

If it's something that you know is good for you and it's like good for both of you,

then you should do it and it's in line with your goals,

but you're like, I just don't wanna do it.

Flip the perspective and find a better feeling way

to go into it and then go do it.

But don't do it when you're just negative pissed off.

If it's good for you, go for it.

If it's not, say no and sit there in the go.

Stop trading off that feeling state.

Don't let your emotions run you.

That's 2024 shit. Oh, no.
Oh, next person said, I want a ring from a jeweler that makes them unique, which I've looked at for about two years. And he knows I don't like typical wedding rings.
My boyfriend wants a ring from a jeweler that he will have lifetime warranty on he wants me to change my mind what would leo do i don't want to say change your partner i would say have a conversation first his main concern being financial i'm gonna get the ring with the lifetime warranty just because i know i'm supposed to get you a fucking ring. He's not excited to get you a ring and to give you that moment of being engaged and being married.
That's a girl's biggest moment. Maybe you need to explain that to him, how much engagements and rings mean to a woman.
Little girls grow up waiting their whole fucking life for that. So maybe explain that to him because it ain't the same for men men but if he's over here just concerned about the price of the ring and it has to have a warranty he wants you to accept what's best for him and makes it easier for him if something breaks so he can go get it replaced don't have to afford to pay for nothing else with your other fancy ring he's more concerned about bending you to do what's easier for him instead of giving you the ring that you want what the fuck genuinely girl get the ring how much is the ring i'll buy you the fucking ring at this point and don't budge this is non-negotiable because it's not unrealistic it's not you being a bitch it's not you being anything like i just explained it's deeper than that stand on that 10 toes down he might i'm gonna tell you how this is gonna fucking go this man is not prepared for you to stand up and say no when you do he might sit there and be all tough stuff you stand there 10 toes the fuck down because first night you have your little discussion about it.
No, I'm not bending. He's going to try and maybe be a little rude.
He's going to be stern in his approach. Well, then maybe it's not going to happen then.
Okay. Go to bed or leave.
Okay, that's fine. Leave the house.

Go stay with your mom.

Go stay at a hotel.

Whatever you can do.

Proof your point.

That motherfucker's gonna be calling you like a baby back.

Puto.

Trust and believe.

Men are always tough stuff when they're logic.

When the conversation's happening, all logic.

Later, when he thinks about it, he's gonna be crying like a little titty baby. Calling you, I'll get you the ring.
I'll get you four. Please don't leave me.
Yeah. Yeah, you're welcome.
Stand ten toes down on that ring, baby. Oh, here we go.
I caught feelings for a serial cheater. Help.
We were really close friends. There was a video that I recently on tiktok and i think i might insert it of this woman just telling you how it is okay i'm gonna put her name too i love her but this is what you need to hear about a cheater ah damn someone just said my husband cheated on me three times what do i do what do you do you do? He said three times.
He meant 300 times. A cheater is a cheater for the rest of his life.
They carry it in their blood. You know, when you have a big stomachache and you're in pain and you're crying and you think this will never go away, then you take a nice shit, a relief on your stomach and you feel like a million dollars.
Honey, unfortunately, this is your life today. You need to get rid of piece of shit.
Your husband. The shit when you flush big shit in the toilet.
They come back. This come back, gonna come back.
I promise you this gonna happen. He's gonna knock on the door.
Please let me in. I love you.
I want know he's a liar he's a cheater let him go to the lake and don't come back i wish you all the best honey be well you see you need to get rid of that stomach pain you just need to shit okay you need to get rid of it oh if that ain't the best advice i ever heard all right next question this one is serious and it made me sad how to console an eight-year-old kid who lost two fingers in an accident it's gonna be obvious and clear to them that they are different when they're at school and shit. They're going to get bullied for it.

That's just the way that society is, unfortunately.

But you didn't say if you were the parent or you're just someone trying to help the kid.

I would say treat them like they are absolutely normal

once the healing phase is done.

Do not make all of the attention and the focus

be on the fingers all the time.

After they're healed and it's adjusted, okay, when you walk in the door, hi, my baby, give him a kiss, give him a hug. Don't mention the fingers.
Don't look at them. Treat them absolutely normal.
Kids are going to look to you for the sense of normal and like stable and like what your attention is on is what they're going to their attention on so you want to help them learn how to live without the two fingers that they lost in a way where it feels like it's not impeding anything the quickest way to do it is to stop bringing attention to it where it's like the constant oh i'm so sorry with the babying them with the limiting them Like once they're healed and we've accepted it. Okay, it sucks.
It's fucking tragic, but it happened. And you're not unable to do things anymore.
Still go do the activities they love to do. Take them to do new shit.
Don't baby them. Don't single them out and act and treat them like they lost their leg.
Like that's going be a whole different dynamic like that's an actual like debilitating disability where all activities are going to have to be different but if it's a couple of fingers my stepdad had two missing fingers and I never noticed until he pointed it out it's not as crazy as a thing as people expect it to be it's like when you have an insecurity you think it's the first thing people see about you. They see the entirety of you.
They're not just going to see that. And having two fingers missing, depending which ones they are, if it's a thumb, there's going to be a lot of like, my stepdad was missing a thumb.
So he had like a little flipper hand. This is what we call his flipper hand.
But he had to learn how to do shit. And like he had cups with a handle.
Every cup had a handle. So he could just grab it and there was no thumb needed.
So my advice is just act like he's still normal. Act like the kid's still normal.
Take him to do shit. Don't baby him.
If he needs help and you see there's like an actual issue or concern, help, duh, be there. But like don't make him feel different or like he needs more help or like this thing is so debilitating about him you want to treat him like it's normal so he starts to feel like it's normal and becomes okay with it also you're going to prepare him with some mindsets around dealing with people talking about it teach him comebacksbacks.
Sit down and practice with him. What are you going to say if somebody does this? And just shoot shit back and forth.
Come up with funny comebacks. Come back with mean comebacks.
Teach him how to swing with the other hand. And teach him how to stick two eyes with the bad hand.
Teach him how to use it. Like, make him have fun with it.
And like I said, preparing him for explaining it when people or grown adults ask out of concern oh I got in an accident this is what happened yeah I lost my fingers teach him how to be nonchalant by being nonchalant about it don't act like it's this big heartbreaking tear-jerking story for years like it's gonna be in the beginning but getting back to normal preparing the kid to deal with concern and questions about it deal with people mentioning it and deal with whatever things he needs specific while he's at school and whenever he's doing certain sports or whatever he's doing what specific little tools what does he need to take in his school bag what's gonna help him what does he need for his lunchbox that's going to be a little different what can he not use or not open i don't know what finger it was i don't know like with the thumb thing you're not going to want to have too many complex things to use simplify the shit for him plan it and get it all implemented so he's not every single day being reminded of something else he can't do get ready for the criticism especially help him with the comebacks put him in martial arts or something put him in karate taekwondo something give him a little confidence build it okay yeah i'm missing two fingers but i'll fuck you up one hand it you just want to bring a little life back into him and not let this limit him so it's gonna be hard for you because it is very devastating and i can't imagine like the heart break of like having to go through that with a child i had to deal with certain things when i was a nurse with taking care of certain children that had certain ailments and i couldn't do anything and like the heart the heart ache I fully get that but you got to pull it together process your shit on your own but like this is a very pivotal moment you can teach him to be embarrassed and limited by it or you can teach him and love him into it being normal and something that he adapts too quickly and keeps it pushing you never know what could happen because of it and what might be better because of it you never know you don't know what this just changed in his personality too so a lot of people have a lot of things on lock with certain events that happen where their personality kind of develops and when you learn how to use something that other people would be crippled by and be so overwhelmed by insecurity about when you learn how to use that accept that and embrace that it sends a message to everybody around you too of how to find acceptance because most people if they lost two fingers would be so fucking devastated insecure would never be able to go out in public again if you can do it it shows and communicates to everybody you found acceptance for yourself for something that would cripple other people and people are going to recognize that confidence and admire it so people might be staring and make sure your kid understands they might be staring for that aspect too they might be admiring not over here being like what the fuck two finger missing motherfucker they not making fun of you all the time. Make sure that's in his head and instilled very young.
He's eight. Get him something nice for his birthday, too.
Big, special. Okay, next person said, I need help breaking the trauma bond I have with my now ex.
I know he's not good for me. He's in prison, so he's costing me shit tons of money, and he's gotten caught up talking to other women while in there the man is my literal kryptonite i can't stop loving him i don't want to love him anymore but he's not going to be who i need him to be we met during a very traumatic time in both of our lives and we always find our way back to each other please yell at me and straighten me the fuck out because this feels pathetic i love you so bad i love you so bad drop the jailbird girl if you're gonna be loyal to somebody and wait there's loyalty reciprocated talking to other women while you're putting money on the books he's over there fattening himself up eating nice getting a lot of shit at the commissary living large in prison trading it he's the top dog you filling up his fucking books with money but that comes with added loyalty why are you talking to other women when you got one that's got you doing so good i don't get that i don't understand that and he's someone who does not deserve someone like you and it truly breaks my heart when people with good hearts are taken advantage of like this.
If you saw me in a position like that, oh, there's this guy in prison and I just love him so bad. And oh, I send him all this money, put it on his books, but he's talking to other guys.
Like, oh, but he's just my kryptonite. Like, oh my God.
You would smack the fuck out of me. And I would let you.
And I would say thank you for waking me me up you would have to hit me so hard and knock the stupid out of me but i would eventually say thank you so bad oh i love you you saved me don't let yourself be mistreated if you don't feel like you deserve better i hope hearing this makes you believe it but just just because you love someone, what does loving him do to you? That's one thing to look at. It's running you stupid and draining your money.
For what? What are you getting? You're getting zero from him. You're getting the feel of use.
There's a lot of emotional needs being met, but you're being mistreated. You're being used.
Unfortunately, you're never ever going to be able to feel good about yourself while you're still in this dynamic. You can't change people.
All you can change is your relationship with them. It's going to be one of the hardest things you do.
I have a ton of episodes about breakup, so search those up. But if you need the courage to do it, it's never going to feel like the right time.
It's going to hurt. And you're going to feel like you physically stuck a knife in your stomach and gutted yourself up to your neck when you end it.
And you're like, I love this person so much, but I'm going to walk away. You're going to walk away sobbing.
You're going to sob every day for months, probably. It's going to be a pain like nothing you've ever felt.
You're going to want to reach out. You're going to want to talk to them.
You're going to, oh my God, oh my God, Leo, fuck you. I can't believe you said this.
I'm in so much pain. I just have to go back.
Don't let yourself. That's all going to pass.
And I can speak about this because I know it. I know that feeling, that desperation of I just want to go back.
I just want to go back. No, not an option.
Because what happens is the longer the duration of the separation, the more the pain fades. It's going to feel like nothing.
The people that I was so desperate for in the past mean shit to me now. I don't even think of them.
And I never thought I would be at this place after certain breakups. Like genuine, like, I don't care.
You will get to that spot. You just have to keep staying away from them.
And a lot of things are going to become so clear. And the more time you stay away from them, the more perspective you will gain about why you thought you loved them so much.
And you're going to start realizing how much of it wasn't actually love. You're going to learn a lot about yourself of like, oh, I was attached to him for all these selfish fucking reasons, all these emotional needs that was getting met.
Oh, so it was never really never really about him yeah but that perspective and that awareness is only going to hit you as you walk off so put your nice boots on and get the scooting i think that's it for this week's episode i feel like we hit a whole bunch if you've made it this far and you're watching this on youtube comment a blue heart emoji i like to see who makes it this far in the episode put you a little blue heart also i'm still on sub stack i've been live on there a whole bunch if you want to join the sub stack family i'll put the link in the description i'm very secretive about it because i love how like family vibe it feels but i will put the link to the new form that i made for what would leo do in the description of episode so you could see it. If you're listening to the audio version of this,

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Go have fun.

But that's it for this week.

I love you all so bad.

Everybody, be safe.

Take care of yourself.

And I'll talk to you guys next Sunday.