Barbara Eden | Club Random

Club Random is brought to you by Factor because apparently living off coffee and sarcasm isn't considered a balanced diet.

Factor delivers chef-prepared dietitian-approved meals right to your door.

So all you need is two minutes.

Eat smart at factormeals.com slash random 50 off and use code random50off to get 50% off your first box.

Plus free breakfast for one year.

That's code random50off at factormeals.com for 50% off your first box.

Club Random is sponsored by True Classic, a clothing brand that aims to differ from the rest.

Most t-shirt brands claim to fit great or feel amazing, but these actually deliver.

They fit exactly how you want a shirt to fit, snug in the chest and shoulders, relaxed around the stomach.

But the part I like the best about True Classic, they don't cost a ton and they're comfortable.

Like, I forgot I was wearing it comfortable.

You can find True Classic at Target, Costco, or just go to trueclassic.com slash random and try one.

Club Random is brought to you by the Auto Marketing Pros at Radioactive Media.

Your business could use a little help standing out.

That's where podcast and radio come in.

Podcasting is the hottest marketing medium out there.

It's intimate, it's personal, and it sticks.

Text random to 511511 or go to radioactivemedia.com.

Again, that's random to 511-511.

Message and data rates may apply.

Be heard while everyone else is just making noise.

The bottle was not.

Oh, that's interesting.

Could never be in my master's bedroom.

Master's cool, but not the bottle there.

Actual dead guy?

Oh, yeah.

But he was good for your show.

Nope.

Barbara?

I saw your feet.

I knew you were coming.

Really, the rest of me is attached.

How are you?

I'm great.

I'm so glad to see you.

And you?

Oh, my gosh.

You're making a 12-year-old boy very happy right now.

Are you serious?

Well,

you know,

I mean, I don't know you at all.

We're just meeting for the first time, so I probably shouldn't be this intimate right away, but I brought your bottle.

Oh, you did.

I had this in my house.

That's an

upgrade of a bottle.

But it's a little like it, right?

It is.

It's prettier.

Yeah.

You weren't in a lamp.

You were in a bottle.

I was in a bottle, and it was a working bottle.

So every, I gave mine to the Smithsonian.

It belongs there.

But it doesn't look so pretty.

I mean, it may disappoint people because it's been through the war.

Well, you know, some people, when they get identified so much with something that's iconic, you know, it becomes too much and they almost, and they kind of don't like it.

And I, you know, like,

come on, man.

If you wrote Hotel California, why don't you

play it every night?

Right.

You know,

I hope you're like...

happy with, you know, that

you should be because what you were and are iconic iconic and for a reason.

And it was awesome.

And there's a reason we remember it to this day so vividly.

Well, I enjoyed doing it.

I felt very lucky that I was doing it.

And of course, you know, I was under contract to Fox and MGM before I ever did Juni.

Yeah, you did an Elvis movie.

I sure did.

What was that?

It was the.

There he is.

That's from an album coming.

I do love him.

Yeah, I'm sweet, good

gentleman.

He was just the best.

Yeah, because you were too old for him.

You were in your 20s.

No, I think I was married to Michael and Sarah.

That didn't matter.

It's that you weren't 14.

Okay.

He had a thing.

Well, you know, actually,

we talked a lot about that.

Really?

Because he wanted to know.

how,

you know how it is in a film, they're setting up the pictures,

lights and and everything.

So we had a lot of time to talk.

Yeah.

And he wanted to know about my marriage with Mike and how did we make it work in this business.

What year is this?

It was about,

I married Mike in 1958.

So it was

probably 1960.

Yeah, well, 60 was Flaming Star.

That's it.

You got it.

You got it.

Really?

Oh, yeah.

Flaming Star.

Yes.

Okay, I remember it now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He was good.

He was good.

He could have been

a really respected actor.

Yes, he could have.

If that fucking criminal who managed him

had let him have the career he could have had.

You know what he said about that?

He said, you know, Barbara, a lot of people don't like the Colonel.

And they think that I should leave him.

And he said, but he got me

out of that little podunk place i was playing he said if it wasn't for him i wouldn't be here today

and i just i thought god bless you you know yeah

i mean talent more than anybody but oh yes yes the colonel did do that but there is i think or should be a statute of limitations oh yeah on how much we owe people for you know it's not a it's not a lifelong contract right you know if that really was his motivation, I have a feeling maybe the...

He was very honest.

I can tell when somebody's not...

And Elvis was very direct and honest.

And

because then I said, you know, Michael and I,

business, that's the word.

I said, this is a business.

I said, it's our job.

We both do our job.

Then we come home at night.

And he said, well, he said, I met somebody I really like a lot, but she's kind of young.

I didn't know she was that young.

I mean, honestly, for Tennessee,

not so much.

You know, Elvis was born in 1935

in Tupelo, Mississippi.

I mean,

it was not the, you know, now capital of the world at the time or probably now.

I mean, still in there are states where the legal marriage age is really young.

Yeah.

Like 16.

It's just, you know, and people just didn't,

they just didn't think the same way.

I used to do jokes about the songs.

Remember Young Girl by Gary Puckett and the Union Gap?

Young girl,

get out of my mind.

My love for you is way out, way out of line.

Yeah.

He's saying it.

Nobody cared.

Nobody turned off the radio or wrote a letter and said, what are you talking about?

You're saying, you're not a girl.

You're way out of line and you don't care.

Yeah.

Okay.

And also, Elvis was a gentleman.

I mean, he didn't

not do the nasty with her all the time.

She was living

at Graceland.

Yeah, her parents allowed her.

But you see,

she wasn't

that area girl.

Her dad was a, what, a colonel or something in the army?

Yeah, right.

So I'm sure they thought it over

very carefully.

I know.

The difference in the eras we live in.

I mean, can you imagine today going to somebody, especially a colonel in the Army, and saying, sir, you're a 14-year-old.

I'd like her to live with me.

I'm a 25-year-old rock star.

And I promise, the best high schools, after-school activities.

I mean, and the irony is that he really was.

Yeah.

He's like the only rock star in the world who would do that.

But that was also his sexual problems.

He, I mean, I'm getting getting this from just everyone who's ever written about him or talked to him.

Maybe it's wrong.

But

like he was very into the, you know, Madonna whore complex that people have.

Really?

Well, I mean,

well, in the sense that he didn't really want to have sex with her before they were married.

They had sex.

They were married on May 1st, 1967.

Lisa Marie was born nine months to the day,

February 1st, 1968.

And apparently, you know, he didn't really,

wasn't interested in a lot of sex after that.

Like you were either a virgin

or

I see.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But

he missed out on a lot.

I mean, you know.

Well, he also got around.

I mean, you know, and Margaret, didn't he have a thing with her?

I, that's what they say.

I don't know.

Yeah, I think he,

I don't always believe the press.

I don't

You think they've been kind to you?

Yeah.

What's your view on the press?

On the press?

Yeah, I mean, you think they've been decent?

Oh, it depends upon what we're talking about when we say press.

It could be the

yellow sheets, the nasties, you know.

The tabloids.

Yeah, yeah, the tabloids.

And quite often

they

exaggerate, and they, in order to sell what they have

They say what they shouldn't say some things shouldn't be said.

It's not you know

They have not right.

They have no shame.

That's their brand.

No, that's what they're selling making a living.

Yeah, we have no shame.

We will get a picture of the corpse Yeah and you know and pay for it and and and there's a look I've had people tell me, show people who are like, I can't believe you read the tabloids.

You know, you're just, I'm like, fuck off.

You know what?

I will do whatever I want to do that

lightens my load.

I find them funny.

I know what's bullshit in them.

And also, by the way, they sometimes do uncover a kind of truth that other people don't or are afraid to say.

And sometimes they're very good to people.

Yes, yep.

I've been very lucky.

But what could we possibly bad say about you?

You You have no scandals.

You don't know me very well.

Well,

here's the time to tell us the...

No,

I don't think you have any deep, dark secrets.

I think you're, you know, and especially since you came up in an era where you could be, I'm sure, bitter about certainly the sexism.

I mean,

even in the 60s, the way, especially in show business, what people got away with, especially a hottest like you.

I mean, they must have, well, everybody must have been taking their shot, and some, I'm sure, in a way that you could never get away with today.

I

did not have a problem.

Come on.

No, I didn't.

Nobody ever just took their pants off, or

really?

No.

And I think a lot of that is because I was married to Michael.

From what age?

Well, I mean, 21.

Okay.

We were married 15 years.

Why would he a tough guy who was going to...

Michael was just big.

You know?

So that's the secret.

Have a big guy behind you.

No,

did you ever see

The Broken Arrow?

Broken Arrow.

Show.

He played Cochise, the chief.

He starred in it.

Really?

Yeah.

Jeannie married Cochise.

He was

5'5 or something and 200 pounds, and he lifted weights.

So you don't mess around with him.

That's your answer.

Yeah.

That's your answer.

Yeah.

But you've had, what, three marriages?

Yes.

I don't count the middle one.

I was going to say,

with people of multi-marriages, do they have a favorite ex?

I guess they do.

It's just like people say, I don't have a favorite kid, but every parent always says on the down low, oh, yeah, I do.

Yeah.

But you have a favorite ex?

Like a Jane Fonda, I know.

It was Michael, of course.

Yeah, he was the father of my son.

And the first.

Yeah, yeah, he was.

He was.

There is something to the fact that the more times you, you know,

sort of get seriously involved with someone, there has to be some

inflation of the currency.

of that.

I mean, not that I'm anyone to talk, I've never been married.

But I could see how the kind of people, you know, the Christian types who like marry their high school sweetheart and they've never been with anybody else.

I mean, there is a certain thing that once you get, once you think that you, the person you're with, I mean, I thought of my high school girlfriend, like, this is it.

There could never be anybody better.

And like,

once you get over that, once,

there is a certain relativism to any other person who comes after that you can't deny psychologically.

So, you know, the more the people who have eight, you know, the Elizabeth Taylors and some of these people who've had, they just, Jennifer Lopez, I think now has had

five, is it, or four?

Yeah.

It's like, why do you have to always get married?

Yeah.

Are you married now?

No.

Oh, yes.

You are?

So the third one last.

Wonderful guy.

Oh, awesome.

We've been married 36 years now.

Yeah.

Well, he's obviously keeping you young.

I mean, you really betray your age.

I mean, it's amazing because I've talked to people your age, and I mean, and certainly people younger, and there's a certain,

I don't know, haltingness to it that you have none of.

Ah.

Thank you.

I mean, no one thinks you're 35, but I mean, like, you're just...

Why not?

No, but you're just like,

all I'm trying to do, I'm almost 70, is just be on TV generically late middle-aged.

That's as good as you can get.

You just don't want people turning on the TV and going, oh, who's that old guy?

Just don't think about it at all.

I mean, you still have that quality at your age, which is pretty amazing.

Like, you could play somebody's mother who's middle-aged.

Yep.

Do you think they, no, they wouldn't want me?

No, I actually think it's a great idea.

Would you ever do a series again?

Oh, sure.

Really?

Of course.

I like to work.

Yeah.

It's

my raison-terre.

You know, it's why I'm here, I think, is to work.

And

I like people.

I like going out and speaking and talking to them.

And I have the QA and it's fun.

And there are so many

interesting, wonderful people.

Where?

Really good people.

Honestly, there are that you don't even know until you're on stage and you're talking to them, and they're remarkable.

Yeah.

No, especially when they're your fans.

Well, that's true.

That's true.

Yeah.

You tend to think they're geniuses.

Yeah.

Yeah, you're right.

Yeah.

It's, you know, we like who likes us.

It's very natural.

Yeah.

You know, I mean, people would always say to me as a bachelor, you know, like,

what do you look for in a woman?

I'm like, the ones who like me.

That's a great starting point.

You like me?

I like you.

I think you have great taste.

Yeah.

You like me.

Let's start with that.

Now we're halfway home.

Don't you think that, though,

you like

more than just a little circle of people?

Oh, of course, yes.

Yeah, they're

there's something likable about every single person you meet.

And

I truly believe that.

I do, too.

Are you on social media at all?

I am.

You are.

Wow.

Bet you're better than me.

Well, no, I'm not.

Yeah.

I have someone who runs it for me.

Okay.

But you have a presence.

I do.

There's a Facebook.

Yeah.

I mean, I'm not too aware of it either, but I certainly get the gist that when people are online as opposed to in person, they can be assholes

in a way

they can.

And I know

they bully.

Yeah.

They make people kill themselves.

Yeah, yeah.

And they actually.

Especially the young people.

Yes.

And they wish for it.

Yeah.

If you disagree with them,

they're not above, I want you dead.

Yeah.

No.

Yeah.

Also, they take take advantage of the elderly.

Yes, they do.

And that's disgusting.

And we deserve those parking spots.

Yeah.

I like my parking spot.

You betcha.

What comes to mind when you picture the perfect roommate?

One who comes when you call, one who doesn't forget to lock the doors, maybe one who doesn't steal your milk, just a little bit at a time, hoping that you won't notice.

At apartments.com, they understand that when it comes to roommates, a pet can be your best bet.

They're easygoing.

They eat what you you serve them and they never clog the toilet and that's why apartments.com has the most pet-friendly rental listings on the internet and with instant alerts you'll know the moment that your perfect pet-friendly place becomes available apartments.com has so many features like 3d virtual tours the ability to save your favorite apartments and with over a million places to rent you are absolutely going to find the right place for you apartments.com knows that moving can be stressful but by giving you options filtered searches and more they can help take away some of that stress When I need a new apartment, I will definitely need a pet-friendly choice.

So if you guys need a place that's pet-friendly and human-tolerant, check out apartments.com, the place to find your pet-friendly place.

Thanks, apartments.com for sponsoring the podcast.

New season, new chaos in college football.

Let's go!

Big stage, big opportunity.

This Labor Day weekend, the wildness lives on ABC ESPN and the all-new ESPN app.

What a way to start!

Featuring top 10 teams like Clemson, Notre Dame, Alabama, and LSU, and Bill Belichick's debut at North Carolina.

It's so special these teams collide.

Don't miss a lineup filled with electric matchups.

Welcome back to college football.

Kickoff Week, presented by Modelo, Labor Day weekend on ESPN and ABC.

Also available to stream on the all-new ESPN app.

No, they do.

It's cruel that it's, I mean, obviously it's another form of people just will do anything for money, but

they will run scams that really prey on the fact that older older people are not native to the internet or to computers or, you know, even when I was, you know, there was no computers when I was in grade school or college.

Yeah.

You know,

so it will always be a little like doing everything left-handed to me.

Whereas kids, you know, I think they come out of the womb with the fucking phone in their hand.

Oh, gosh.

Yes.

You know.

Wake up in the morning and they've got to go.

Yeah.

I wanted to say, take that off.

Stop that.

Use your brain.

Yeah.

You know, start read a book.

Oh, dream on, Jeannie.

Yeah.

They are never, they are not going to read a book.

Books are like,

they make jokes now about, comedians do, about like how ridiculous it would be to read a book.

Like all these words, you know, it's just so scrolling is not reading.

And if you only have ever scrolled, the idea of like page after page, which is just tragic because, you know, you can get all the facts in the world, but wisdom is in books.

Someone was interviewing me last week

and asked me,

what are your hobbies?

And I said, I don't have a hobby, but I read.

I love books.

I like

every kind of subject you want to put out there.

I love history and I like murder mysteries.

So you know you have both.

And

I am so grateful to my mother and my aunt for the minute I started in the first grade to learn how to read.

They took me to the library and got me a card and they used to read to me.

But I would get four books a week.

and read them during the week and then take them back.

And

I was lucky, I had very young

mom and dad.

So they couldn't afford a babysitter.

So when they'd go out.

Teenagers, they were?

Well, I think my mother was, yeah.

That was what people did back then.

Yeah, but

they would go out and they'd take me and they'd sit me in a corner and I'd sit with my book and I enjoyed it.

I'd read my book and they'd have their dinner or have their drinks or whatever, you know.

Yeah.

When did everyone catch on you were so hot?

Hot?

Yeah.

I mean.

You know what?

I don't know because

school, come on.

Uh-uh.

I'll stop.

I mean, you must have been like such a smoke show in high school.

A smoke show?

You bet.

You can have.

Okay, I want to be a smoke show.

You are a smoke show.

Oh, but.

But you must have, I mean, come on.

I don't.

Well, you know,

first of all,

I knew what I wanted to do very young.

I was, uh I wanted to sing.

Um, I didn't have the money to have a uh the lessons.

My mom and dad couldn't do it.

So I got a job.

So from day one, I didn't spend a lot of time at high school.

I was, I worked in a bank for four hours a day.

And I went to school four hours.

On the weekends I studied at the Conservatory of Music singing voice not anything else I bet you at the bank there was a very long line for you I know I was not at the bank

I was the one that sorted the checks out and you're up in an office still a long line but go ahead

oh crap

I don't know where am I

you're in the bank

you're in the bank I'm in the bank 1950 yeah well it was

But I think that's why I really didn't, I didn't have a big social life, let's put it that way.

Okay.

I have pictures of, I still have them, by the way, that I cut out of TV Guide or wherever your picture would appear.

But you did have a midriff

outfit, which was not seen anywhere.

But they wouldn't show a navel.

Really?

Oh, you didn't know that?

Well,

we're going back many.

I haven't looked at the pictures from TV Guide in a while.

They made a big deal out of it, actually.

I'm sure they did.

So the thing was cut right above your navel?

Yeah.

The outfit?

Okay.

And I never thought about it.

I truly never thought about it.

But I'm trying to think of his name.

He wrote for the Hollywood Reporter.

And he came down on the set one day and he said,

where's your belly button?

I said,

Don't you, do you really care?

He said, yeah, yeah, yeah, show me.

I said, ah, nickel a peak.

Well, I, you know,

it was very cheap.

So he kept coming down on the set and and talking and poking me, you know, in the belly button and writing about it.

And then the

the guys all across the United States started talking about my belly button.

And,

you know, I have often thought there were women, actresses, who were known for body parts,

but they're glamorous body parts.

I've got a belly button.

Yeah, I mean,

yeah, I don't remember that there was none, but it was just,

it was outrageous

to some people.

I'm sure there were places in the South.

that don't like, that were more conservative about racial and sexual things that was on TV that was accepted in New York or Chicago or Los Angeles.

I mean, that happened in those days.

Well, it's strange.

When it got so

knowable and kind of famous,

the

studio decided it had to be covered.

They never worried about it before.

I'd put my arms up, and of course, it would peek out, you know.

And

the

costume, now look, I had pantyhose on, and I had panties,

I had a bra.

And those hammer pants.

And

they said I had to have

something to,

they changed it, yeah.

Hammer pants.

Well before hammer pants.

In between.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like with the big balloony.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What is this?

It was good.

I mean, it worked.

It would have been too much if you were also showing legs.

It was right, because you had the midriff and the thing up here.

It was all, it was all working for me.

The bottle was never never allowed in the bedroom

the bottle was not oh that's interesting could never be in my master's bedroom

master's cool but not the bottle there

that's right it was master oh how times have changed yeah it didn't you know he wasn't really

he was like elvis he could have and he didn't yeah yeah yeah men were men were more gentlemen in those days i mean that was part i thought that was part of the charm of it was that plainly he could have.

I would have.

Are you kidding?

She wasn't real.

She was to me.

Entity.

Yeah, but in the,

if you think of the text and the show,

genies are not human.

And she thought she was human.

And she thought she was, and he knew she wasn't.

I don't remember that part of it.

That may be, maybe I was too young for subtext.

Well, I just remember Major Healy.

Oh,

I loved him.

Loved him.

Bill Daly.

Bill Daly.

And he was on another show.

He was funny, too.

Yes.

Like, I loved it the way back then, like, your favorite TV star.

They put him on another show.

You know?

Yeah.

It was.

Yeah, Bob Newhart.

Bob Newhart.

Well, he was a creator.

He was a good friend of Bob Newhart's.

Yes, he was on that show.

Yeah.

Right.

Yeah, and

they're both from Chicago.

Okay.

And they knew each other, you know, in Chicago.

The 60th 60th anniversary of when Genie went on the air, is this?

Yes.

Wow.

60th.

Yeah.

Wow.

So I must have been watching it in the womb.

I wish I owned it.

It's still on the air.

It's amazing.

I mean, the longevity is truly impressive.

I mean, some things just people don't want to let go of.

I'm telling you.

You know,

I do get

fan mail.

And I sign it and leave, send it back.

But I have received fan mail from Moscow, from the People's Republic of China.

Of course,

Europe, UK, Germany, I expect that.

But how they get those things out of those countries, I don't know.

Everything is everywhere now.

Because the internet, everything is everywhere.

No, but how do they get their fan mail to me in the mail?

You know?

It's actual snail mail.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, with a photo and they want the end one one girl said that she sends hers to Poland, I believe.

She has a girlfriend in Poland.

So she sends it first to her, who sends it to me.

And then I send it back to well, th they put a self em you know, envelope.

I mean, I'm guessing in Russia and China there are sensors who see everything that comes to the United States.

So I'm guessing that they look and they see one of the few things that they find non-threatening at at all.

Only guy still like the genie.

Well, put the mail.

It's fine.

But anyway, congratulations on that.

Well, thank you.

Thank you.

You're great.

But

this is before I ever saw a Playboy.

Oh.

Which I know you turned down

famously.

Good for you.

Well, not enough money, you know.

Yeah.

Yeah, I do.

I totally concur with that.

Money, it is.

There's no shame in it.

But yeah, if they weren't going to pay.

When I started babysitting,

there was one person who had, you know, the guy got Playboy.

Yeah.

My father didn't.

No, we didn't have Playboy.

My father, I think it was his 50th birthday, and somebody as a gag gift gave him a gag gift.

I mean, it was,

I don't know.

I think to them it was a gag.

To me, it was deadly serious.

A poster of Sophia Loren

coming out of the water oh my and the you know the water is making her tits stand up and stand out and I just waited like two months before the they forgot about it and you pulled up

it never went on the wall that's what I'm saying they just let you know it wasn't like my father was gonna put it up yeah and I just waited until I thought they forgot about it and then spirited it to my room yes and put it in the back of my I had a little closet about this wide this how much, and I just put it on the wall with all my clothes, so I could just part my clothes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I even had it under,

I had it under another poster of Mr.

Spock, in case my mother saw that.

I know.

Always thinking.

I was

a strange little Machiavellian boy.

No, you were a real boy.

I was a real boy.

Yeah, yeah.

I was.

And I haven't changed a hell of a lot.

Yeah.

That's my secret.

None of you have.

They're all little boys, believe me.

It's so true.

Right?

Yeah.

And men take an especially long time to mature

to the degree that they even do.

Right?

Wouldn't you agree with that?

I just think it's great.

I love that part about a man.

I think

men who are

manly, you know,

and

suddenly you discover that

they care, they're crying in the movie.

You'll see a tear come down on the cheek.

I love it.

Oh, nothing wetten's panties.

He's like that.

Like the hot guy who plays against type or gets real sensitive.

Yeah.

Or, you know.

But don't ask Bob Conrad to do it.

Don't.

I'm just, remember him?

Robert Cutton.

Oh, sure.

I tell you, the male.

stars of the 60s and 70s,

they were hot.

Like in a way, they forgot how to be.

Robert Conrad, come on, tell me you didn't have a little crush on Robert Conrad in his various TV shows.

Well, no, I didn't.

I'm sorry.

Really?

I didn't.

Why?

I don't know.

I don't know.

Did you know him?

He's not my type.

Not your type.

Yeah, I don't know.

Oh,

I wanted to be him.

I wanted to be with you and be him.

But who else?

They're like Mannix.

Yeah.

You know, they were like manly.

They were just more unabashedly manly.

And I feel like one of the problems we have today,

and the sexes are just moving in opposite directions in every possible way.

I mean, there's just a lot of hate for the other.

There's incels.

Oh, yeah.

Those are guys, you know who that is, involuntarily celibate.

They're guys who can't get laid,

which, you know, no shame.

I used to be an incel.

We didn't have have a name for it I didn't want to advertise that I can't get laid yeah and want to join a club with other fucking losers who can't get laid I just it was like you can't get laid well do something about it you know I masturbated and plotted how I could get better I okay and they don't do that today they just hate on the they blame the women yeah and the women are like men are forget it there's a whole movement now you know like just they're they're just irredeemable you're not going to bring them along.

And all of this plays right into the hands of the guys who least need to get laid.

Because in a world where women are so cynical about men that they think, why even try?

You might as well just fuck the cute guy.

You might just fuck the fuck boy.

So it just makes the problem worse.

Yeah, I guess.

I hadn't thought about it.

Yeah, well, I think it's really something that I want to throw in your lap.

And I have a plan for you to go on OnlyFans.

Would you?

There is a question.

Would you?

You know how.

Oh, you could make a fortune on OnlyFans.

I'll manage it.

I'll be the manager.

I'll take a very reasonable 20%.

Okay.

The Colonel got 50%.

Come on.

Yeah.

But you know what?

You know what?

OnlyFans, right?

You what?

OnlyFans?

What that is?

Are you my OnlyFans?

No, there's a whole organization, a whole website called OnlyFans.

Oh, no, I don't know about that.

No.

No.

Oh.

No.

Sit down.

Okay.

No, even deeper.

Sit even lower.

Okay.

This is not going to come as good news.

Okay.

Well,

I mean, it's a website that advertises as...

a place where people can do anything, show you how to cook or write poetry.

It's women masturbating or showing their vaginas to men who are paying them electronically to watch them.

And it's very, very popular and millions of women.

It's a big thing.

Hasn't it always been that?

No, not like this.

I mean, there weren't millions of American women who, or go on Pornhub.

There's just an endless amount of women who are making porn videos.

And they get paid for it?

Yes.

Not well.

Except for at the very, at the high end of porn at OnlyFans,

they make millions a year millions

no but I bet you they've tried that you could probably get away with it if you had a hot enough body but no I mean it's

you know it's just

it's it's again part of how sad this has become that that there are men I think the man part is

certainly as sad that they think

in some part of their brain that this is a real relationship.

Right.

And very often the woman who they're texting with,

you know, as they look at her, it's not really that woman.

It's some fat guy in the Philippines.

Right.

Who's pretending that he's this woman who doesn't even speak English because she's in Czechoslovakia.

And this guy is so pathetic that he thinks this is,

you know.

Anyway,

I hate to have been the one to have brought you that news.

I will always remember it.

Yes.

This is my brain.

Club Moranim is brought to you by the Auto Marketing Pros at Radioactive Media, recently named number 20 on Inc.'s fastest growing companies in the Pacific Region.

Apparently, doing your job really well still gets noticed.

And let's face it, Between inflation, market crashes, and whatever today's disaster is, your business could use a little help standing out.

That's where podcast and radio come in.

Podcasting is the hottest marketing medium out there.

It's intimate, it's personal, and it sticks.

Plus, audio reaches more people in the U.S.

than social media and digital combined.

And Radioactive Media knows how to tap into that power.

They build smart, creative campaigns that match the right message with the right voices.

So you're not just shouting into the void.

They even believe in it so much, they're using it right now, sponsoring this show, which by the way, reaches a lot of people.

Just saying, if you're a mid-size brand or a startup with ambition and a brain, text random to 511-511 or go to radioactivemedia.com.

Again, that's random to 511-511.

Message and data rates may apply.

Be heard while everyone else is just making noise.

Introducing the perfect companion to your morning listening routine.

AG1's clinically backed formula is now flavor-packed with three new delicious flavors: tropical, berry, and citrus.

Start the day on a high note with probiotics that taste like the tropics.

Mix it up with micronutrients that taste like berry or citrus, and take it all the way back with the classic AG1 Original with notes of pineapple and vanilla.

Do your health a flavor, or four, with AG1 NextGen, the daily health drink.

Learn more at drinkag1.com.

More rewards, more savings.

With American Express Business Gold, earn up to $395 back in annual statement credits on eligible purchases at select shipping, food delivery, and retail subscription merchants.

Enjoy the benefits of membership with the Amex Business Gold Card.

Terms apply.

Learn more at AmericanExpress.com/slash business-gold.

Amex Business Gold Card built for business by American Express.

So, do you think women are more promiscuous now?

When I was growing up, you could also get pregnant.

You still can.

Yeah, but there's medicine and there's

a lot of stuff going on.

But they had condoms back then, no?

Yeah.

They did just a...

Did you carry one in your pocket all the time?

Yeah, and sadly never used it.

You did that.

And they still have that too.

No.

I was, you know, terribly shy when I was.

I was too.

Yeah.

Well, but see, it wasn't an issue for you because people would approach you and want you and talk to you, whereas the guy, I was the one who had to initiate and I couldn't do it.

No, I was just working.

I really didn't.

At what age?

I started at 14.

Oh.

But that was working on weekends in a department store.

And then

I switched over to the bank

in the sophomore year.

But was that normal to work at at 14?

Sure, for sure.

A lot of kids did.

If it wasn't babysitting, it was

doing something else.

I worked at 14.

You know, yeah, you're right.

I did yard work.

That's what I did.

I just didn't.

No, when I was 16, I got a job as a stockboy at the ANP.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's right.

You said people would come to me,

not you.

You'd have to be the

Instagram.

You would.

You certainly would have to be.

And I think it's normal you know to do that but it doesn't always happen that way I was also singing in dance bands but this is after I I got out I was

giving you a history here

I was going to city college and

I was studying still studying at the conservatory and my mother heard me singing we used to do the dishes and she'd sing with me, you know, back mostly Gilbert and Sullivan.

But she heard me studying what I had to do for the weekend.

And she said, Barbara,

you're singing every note perfectly,

but you don't mean a word you're saying.

And she was right.

She said, I think you should study acting.

And that's...

So then I had another thing to do at night.

So I didn't go out a lot.

And the, oh, I know I'd want to tell you this, the acting teacher, the woman who had this school,

said,

you're too shy, Barbara.

You don't have to be the nice little girl, the good little girl, all the time.

And she also hit me on clothes, because I wore mostly beige and black.

And, you know, and she said, get some color.

color in front and then every time there was a a um audition

down in the theaters in San Francisco,

she said, go down an audition.

I said, just, you don't want the job, just go and do it.

Get used to it.

And she was right.

She was right.

It served me well.

Who championed you in those early years?

Was there somebody?

My mother.

Your mother?

Nobody in the business?

Like, there was nobody who was a mentor?

No.

Like, who were the big people who you looked up to?

Like, watching.

Everybody

at the time.

You mean before I came down to LA?

Yeah, like, who was on TV that you wanted to be?

Oh,

well.

Lucy?

Lucy, sure.

Oh.

Yeah, there were a lot of women I really would have liked to have done.

Yeah.

Like, who else?

There weren't that many women on TV.

They were always the housewife and the sitcom.

Like, Mary Tyler Moore changed the game.

Yeah, yeah.

But I really, I

wasn't,

I was never trying to be

a person,

a certain person or a certain part.

I just wanted

to

work in my craft.

And I did all kinds of parts,

all kinds of parts.

But I wasn't thinking about

being Lucy.

I mean, I loved her and I loved being on the show.

But I also loved doing the Andy Griffith show.

And there are nothing but little old men on that show.

But I had a wonderful time doing that part.

If it's a well-written part and a well-directed part, there's nothing better for me.

I feel so much better when it's like that.

Yeah, and you're also one of those people like the Fons,

you know,

who does a part that's so iconic.

Yeah.

That, you know,

it'll always be

a great thing and also a thing that

can be a drag.

Because the audience is the audience, and you can't ever instruct them.

what to do or what to think or what to feel.

They just react and that's all they should be doing.

They're paying the money and they're watching the TV and buying the toothpaste.

It's up and

it would be nice to be able to say to them, look, I'm not just Genie,

but to them there's a certain percentage that like they can't forget that because it was just so big.

It's a victim of success

in some ways.

And

that's something that

lots of sitcom actors really have had to fight against, typecasting and pigeonholing.

well

you know after genie i i dove in and did a lot of different things yeah because she didn't even think about her i didn't realize she's right there only is right there but uh

but i harper valley pta yeah yeah first it was a movie and then a tv no first it was a song well

yeah it's that the genie c ride really yeah yeah yeah no

i love that oh if people don't know the song

that wasn't genie

no no, no.

I understand.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah.

And

I headlined in Vegas

getting the old

chords together.

So I wasn't thinking or worrying about Genie at all.

What was Vegas like then?

It was...

Like the 70s in Vegas?

Uh-huh.

Was that cool?

In the 80s.

Yeah.

I mean, Sinatra was still playing Vegas then.

Yeah, and Elvis was right down the street.

Yeah, Elvis, of course.

That was his era.

Yeah.

You went to see him there?

I did.

The International?

That's where he played.

That's where Colonel Parker

lost him in a gambling bet or something.

So he had to play there like a mule, like 2,000 shows a year.

God, he was exciting.

He got on that stage.

Yeah.

He was just...

First of all, when I work generally, especially in Vegas, I don't leave my bedroom.

I do my show.

I go back up because in Vegas, you get Vegas throat.

You've heard about that.

I used to open for musical acts in Vegas,

and I remember them often getting Vegas throat, which would give me the night off, and I'd still get paid.

So I loved Vegas throat.

Well, I hated it.

Oh, I know.

But what I do is because it's so dry there.

Well, I would go, I'd the show, and I'd go up to the room.

I had two shows a night, seven nights a week, is what we did.

Right.

And

when I'd go to bed at night, I would have one of those hot steamers.

You know, of course.

I had one on either side of the bed.

Smart.

And my hair would go

curly.

And I would not talk a lot.

Smart.

And I didn't.

Really smart.

I didn't go out

of that room, and it was really boring.

It really was.

Vegas is rough.

It was.

George Burns was the best.

I worked with George.

At what?

At doing it?

Just doing it.

I loved working with him on stage.

And then he'd say to

the lady that was with me doing my hair, he'd say, come on, girls, let's go get some soup.

And the first time he said that, I thought, oh, I can't go get soup.

You know, I can't go get soup and I but I went anyway because he was so darn cute

is soup bad for your throat I don't know I just didn't want to go down to the people oh I see and

for him it was always let's let's go get some soup that was his thing you're okay with but it was fun it was fun going with him and it took some of the stress off of my worrying about what what is this act you were doing with him

well

he would open the show

and then he'd introduce me, but I'd come out and I'd do Gracie Allen, actually, with him on stage.

Wow.

Then he'd leave and I would do my 50 minutes of whatever I was doing,

singing.

So it was

your show, but he was like the opening act?

No, we split the bill.

You split the bill.

It was billed as...

Barbara Eden, George Burns in Las Vegas.

I didn't know it was George Burns, Barbara Eden.

Okay, well, he was a million years old.

He deserved it.

Like, what hotel was this?

The Stardust or the

Flamingo.

Riviera.

Yeah, no.

The Sahara.

It could have been the Sahara.

The Sands.

It could have been the Riviera.

The Platinum Lady.

I think it was the Riviera, but I'm not sure.

I played the Riviera in 1985.

I played all of them, actually.

The MGM.

I opened the MGM.

Really?

The MGM Grand?

Yeah.

That's the last place I played.

I was, the last two years, I was staying there six times a year.

I couldn't take it anymore.

I mean, not just Vegas, but especially Vegas.

I mean, there is just something about that town that drains you.

Like, you're there for a day and you feel like you've been there for a week.

If you're having fun, sometimes you're having fun.

If you want to have a couple of days there, it's fun.

That's it.

Yeah, but like...

Just coming down from the elevator and a clang, clang,

immediately assaulted with the lights and the clang clang and the you know it just it's just a bunch of stupid like horrible people walking around in t-shirts

well i mean it's just i mean it's it's it's it's not the cream of the crop it's it's just you know there was a time when a casino was you know james bond walking in in a tuxedo tuxedo yeah you get these people lucky if they wear a

t-shirt tuxedo you're right you're right i mean they're like practically barechested in the lobby yeah they come in from the pool or whatever.

It's just, it's, it's.

My mother loved it.

It's dying, you know.

She went with me.

I was, I also worked with Shecky Green.

Oh, I remember Shecky Green.

I love him.

Was he nice?

Oh, a beautiful guy.

Really?

I loved him, yeah.

You were lucky.

Everybody was nice to you.

No, he was really nice.

And my mom and I would come down after I did, because I opened for him, and I would come down.

Shecky?

Yeah.

Yeah.

This was at the MGM Grand.

Okay and I we'd come down and we'd put our chairs right in the wings and watch him because we didn't know what he was going to do you never knew what Shecky was going to do on stage because he was such an improvisational yeah that's awesome and naughty yes

and my mother loved it you know see I I didn't I mean you just after all these years change my mind about Shecky Green or as the kids call him who

yeah um

because I always thought he was kind of I never saw him work that much so I I guess I kind of thought maybe because the name Shacky I thought oh this guy's probably corny and now you're telling me he actually was kind of a genius he really he was great I'll tell you one

one time that I was doing my show and I

thought, gee, really a good audience.

I walked off and my conductor said, well, barbara you really killed him tonight and i said thank you and i went upstairs to change my clothes get my mom we're going to sit in the wings they're sitting in the wings

and shecky is sweating and talking and finally he comes walking off he said and and cursing like mad and We said, what's wrong?

What's wrong?

He said, how can I make people laugh with a dead guy in front?

Actual dead guy?

Oh, yeah.

But he was good for your show.

No.

Oh, but why did you do good if he...

I didn't see him.

Oh, you couldn't see him?

I didn't know.

The audience was good.

But you said the audience was good for him.

I don't think the audience was.

Obviously, they didn't give a shit.

They didn't know, I don't think.

You know, but he was there.

They covered him up with a tablecloth.

During Shecky's performance?

No.

During mine.

They covered him with a tablecloth during your performance?

Yeah, but I didn't know it.

I didn't know this was.

But the the audience must have seen that.

I don't know.

They got the wife out of there.

I heard afterwards, you know, what they did.

The desert inn has hearts.

We got the wife out of there.

The guy, we put a tablecloth over, of course.

The show must go on.

Wait.

I couldn't believe it.

Well, the lights are so bright, especially if you're doing a single singing, you know.

You don't see the audience down, especially near.

Let me sorry.

What?

Go back to they put a tablecloth over him because I just cannot.

You did your act

with a guy with tablecloth over him who's dead.

Yeah, but I didn't know it.

What did you think they were doing it for?

I couldn't see it.

Oh.

I couldn't see it.

Where was he sitting in the room?

He was sitting right.

Well, if this is the end of the stage.

Oh, so front?

He's right there.

Always the dead ones in front.

Really?

People die all the time in shows.

I swear to God, it's always in the front row.

That's the old saying.

I killed him.

Wow.

Yeah.

Well, that's a great memory.

You know, really.

I mean, how many people have that?

How can I make them laugh with a dead guy out in front?

I remember a couple of times doing a stand-up show, and

somebody had to go for a medical.

you know, reason.

And then you have to find a way to recover from that and make the audience

not be.

You know,

I remember it happened a few years ago, and I remember thinking after the show, I'm glad this happened when I was in my 60s.

I don't think I would have handled it nearly as well in my 30s.

You know, it takes a certain skill that a lifetime of performing will especially for you.

Well, yeah, because you're doing a one-person talk.

And it's getting people to laugh, which they have to feel permission to do.

So you have to kind of bring them slowly down to,

you know, he's going to be fine.

This just in, it's just indigestion, you know.

Yeah, right.

Now, I don't know what I did, but like,

you slowly get back to your show as if it, you know, it's a show.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But I don't know if I could have done the guy with the tablecloth.

I just felt it was disgusting.

I mean, why don't they just put a fork in him?

I mean, literally, I've heard the term, and this would seem

wow.

But speaking of dying in the show, Vegas is dying.

I just, I keep reading this show.

I read that today.

Yeah.

Isn't that sad?

It is.

Well, they overbuilt it, first of all.

Looks like a little city.

They overbuilt it.

We used to be able to just walk down one street, the strip.

Like the Riviera was at this end, and Caesar's was at this end.

MCM was the farthest out.

Yeah, I think that came later.

But when I first worked it in the 80s, I think the farthest thing was Caesar.

I think Caesar's Palace was...

Did you ever work the one up the top with the circle in it?

The circle.

Yeah,

I don't remember what it was called, but you had to go up to the top, and that's where the showroom was.

Oh, no.

And it was a circle.

It would move.

You mean like in the round?

Yeah, but yeah.

I've worked many in the round stages, never liked them.

Yeah.

Half the audience is looking at your ass the whole show.

I've done a lot of that, too.

Yeah, but I'm sure it works better for you than me.

With a book show?

I did a theater in the round.

But anytime you're in the round, the thing is moving, right?

No.

Oh, no.

No.

Oh, you never did where it's moving?

No.

Oh, well, that's what in the round is.

You're in the middle, it's a circle around you, and it's constantly rotating like you're a lazy Susan.

Well, we used to call it In the Round.

I don't know.

John Kenneley, do you ever work for John Kenley?

Well, if the audience is all around you, the thing has to move because you can't show your ass to one side the whole time.

So it just, you know, they moved me.

It's just, it's just, it's, it's bad.

I would never do it again for any amount of money.

Yeah.

But it's, it's a common thing to be, to work in the round like that.

That's people do it, and I guess some people like it.

I've never been on one that was moved like that.

Maybe for one number they moved it, but I've never really.

I

actually

did with John Rait

when I first, because I didn't I didn't sing for a long time in LA

and this was my

first singing

that John Rait this beautiful voice

I remember

all the stars came to see John they all came especially opening night

and I was so frightened

I mean so frightened

because

all the,

you know, the aisles would go down to this round stage.

And

if the lights went out, you couldn't get, couldn't get back, you know, back and forth.

And I thought, I can't do this.

I literally felt my heart thumping.

I can't do this.

Then I figured, well,

I have an understudy.

She can do it.

She can do it.

I'll just say I'm sick.

I had this all all

going through my brain.

And then I heard the music and I walked down and did it.

Thank God.

See,

you know, but I was, I've never been that terrified.

But you did it.

I mean, not to shit on the younger generations, but like the older generations have this idea.

There's no business like show business.

There's no business I know.

They smile when they are low.

And you just always go out there.

Yeah.

I've never missed a show except when they made me twice because I had COVID

and

a couple of times I missed stand-up shows because the plane broke and I couldn't get there.

But I've never like actually missed a show because

I felt shitty.

Right.

And today,

like pop stars often cancel shows just because they just feel shitty.

I mean, I'm exhausted or I'm this or I got, you know, and they just, it's just like, no, I just can't.

When a whole whole gaggle of people have paid and gotten babysitters or whatever they had to do to get their ass out there, and then you just can't.

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

You know,

call me what you want.

Oh, get off my lawn.

Fuck you.

It's true.

It's bullshit.

I broke a rib once.

Broke a rib and still performed?

Yeah.

I was doing Woman of the Year, and this was at the theater

near New York.

I can't think of the name of it now.

But

I love doing that play.

It was fabulous.

But they turned the lights out and I had to go down

like this to get to the aisle.

It was going up to where I made a quick change.

And my heel caught in something and bang, I fell.

I felt like

a car had hit me.

And I lay there and I could hear people say, where'd she go?

Where'd she go?

And I was thinking, just stay here, Barbara.

Just stay here.

But I got up and they caught me and took me into the room.

I changed my clothes

to the quick change.

It wasn't so quick.

And

got up on the stage and started singing.

And I got a standing ovation for a rib.

That's almost the exact plot of Showgirls.

Is it?

You ever see Showgirls?

Yeah.

Oh, you have to.

But ironically.

Yeah.

You've heard of it.

No.

Oh, it came out in the 90s.

It was supposed to be a big movie.

I mean, they spent a lot of money on it.

It's one of those movies that is so bad, it doesn't know it's funny, except people have been knowing it's funny for 30 years

and they watch it for comedy, which it is.

Yeah.

But it's only funny because you realize they were serious.

It's about a girl who goes to Vegas to be a showgirl, to be a star, and the ambition.

And there's a scene where she's the understudy, and the girl who she wants to take the place of, she pushes her down the stairs.

Oh, it's funny.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

It's truly funny.

And it's Vegas in the 90s.

You'll watch it with...

Watch it with your husband.

Do you do that?

Do you like get into bed and watch some silly thing on streaming?

Yeah.

Is that one of your?

Well, we don't, we stay in.

We stay in.

we have a big screen which we just got and we love it but we sit on the sofa and watch and then you don't watch before bed nope we go to bed he falls asleep and I read

that's better better to read see I have to watch TV before I go to sleep Well, I would probably do that too, but the TV isn't in our bedroom.

We can fix that.

You know, I know, but there's no room.

We have the technology now.

We can put it right at the end of the bed.

There's just something about...

I mean, I am TV generation, you know, born in the mid-1950s.

People just did not divorce or, you know, certainly no gay.

That just didn't exist.

Oh, well.

I mean, there were people we all knew who were gay.

Paul Lind.

Did you ever work with Paul Lind?

Oh, sure.

Okay.

Oh, well.

You knew he was gay, right?

I remember, of course.

But the audience did not.

No, they didn't.

But, you know,

my friends were gay.

I had.

Rock Hudson.

Yeah.

Really?

Yeah.

Was he your friend?

Well, I knew him.

He wasn't a friend, but I knew him, yes.

Nice, nice guy.

Absolutely.

But I didn't think of it.

Of course, I came from San Francisco.

And

I think that city is more, or was more, more mixed, more mixed.

We had all different colors in

our school, and we didn't think anything of it.

Yeah.

I mean, San Francisco is more liberal, obviously.

It became extremely liberal.

But, you know, liberals back in that era

had beliefs that would appall the woke people of today.

I mean, remember the movie, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?

Yeah.

Great movie, right?

Yeah.

1967, Spencer Tracy, Catherine Hepburn.

Yeah.

And the plot is the daughter brings home a beautiful black boyfriend, Sidney Poitier, who could resist him.

And the couple is a liberal couple, but their objection is not, oh, you're marrying a black guy.

Their objection is your life is going to be difficult.

And you're our daughter.

And we, so that's what's making us hesitate.

Well, if you tried to do that today, they would just say you're the most horrible people in the world.

It isn't that difficult anymore.

The world has changed a lot.

Yes, it has.

They really don't give enough credit to how, I mean, America has a lot of problems, but America can change and has and does.

I mean, you can show belly buttons on TV now.

You can show you.

No, we are very lucky.

And way more.

We're very lucky in this country.

I mean, when I think that you couldn't show your belly button,

and I, when I first only only went on the tonight show, or one of my first times in the early 80s, and I said the word sucks,

the airport sucks, and they got mad.

Of course, Johnny was saying it next week because nobody gave a shit.

Yeah, yeah.

So, but like, that's where you couldn't say ass.

Ass.

You had to work around the word ass.

And now,

Comedy Central, which is like basic cable TV,

everything,

it's just amazing.

Which is overkill.

Overkill, yes.

It isn't necessary, you know, really.

Right.

Yeah.

Well, it is for dice clay.

You talked about,

we had a little group of nuns visit us on this set.

Nuns.

Uh-huh.

And I mean, really, nuns

in the black things and the little hat.

Because they were

the Flying Nun, they'd gone to her set.

The Flying Nun.

And then they came and brought them down.

Were you on the same network as the Flying Nun?

No, but we were shooting.

You were NBC.

We were at Columbia Studios.

Okay.

Shooting.

It's movies, you know.

The Flying Nun.

But Larry, dear Larry, you don't know you.

Hagman.

Larry Hagman.

I do know him.

Or I did know him.

He's a sweetheart.

I loved him.

But he's a little crazy.

Yes.

Sure.

Anyway, the little nun muns came down.

I took one look at them and I took one look at Larry and I turned around and I went in my dressing room because I knew what he was going to do.

He said every foul word he knew

and it was pretty good.

Then he got

the

axe from the fire axe and then started throwing it like this on the ground and singing

really

nasty words.

And finally the guys on the crew got the

thing away from me because

he could hit the coaxial cable and kill us all.

So,

but I was peeking, but I wasn't out there.

It was

the upshot of it was we never had any more guests on our,

that was it.

I remember when Sammy Davis was a guest.

Oh, yeah.

Because Admiral Bellows?

Yes.

How can we remember that?

Hayden Rourke.

Hayden Rourke.

Another one in a lot of shows.

Always played that officious kind of.

Wonderful guy.

Oh, good.

Yeah.

I hate to be so cynical that I didn't think Hayden Rourke was good.

No,

he was beautiful.

But he wanted

some entertainment, and Sammy Davis Jr.

guessed.

Yeah.

Right?

Yeah.

But Larry Hagman, you know, he got a reputation as being a real eccentric.

And he kind of was.

Well, he was.

Yes, he didn't talk on Sunday.

But he was a talented.

Very talented.

Yeah.

Oh, and huge success with Dallas.

He fucked that part in half.

But like he, I remember once he was giving me the recipe for what he eats in the morning, which is a pot muffin or brownie.

You know, he was telling me how to, exactly how to make it.

And that's what he would do every morning is make a pot muffin.

I don't know.

She would make it?

I think his wife.

Yeah.

Well, whatever.

Maya.

Okay.

But

anyway, it was made

and eaten.

And

I was like, wow, this guy eats pot first thing every day and just stays high all day with that.

That's kind of awesome.

I couldn't do it.

myself, but I admired it.

And he also

didn't talk on Sundays.

I know.

But he wasn't like that when you knew him, right?

When he was.

Oh, yeah.

He didn't talk on Sundays?

Well,

yeah, no, he wouldn't.

He wouldn't.

Because

they told him he had to have therapy.

And he did go to a therapist who I think just made him worse.

But he told him, take a day when you don't talk, you don't do anything.

So Larry didn't talk,

but he got his guru clothes on, robes flipping in the wind,

and it would have a flag.

And he'd march down

the beach in Malibu, and everybody would march in back of him.

But he wouldn't talk, but he got a lot of attention.

Have you ever been in therapy?

No.

Me neither.

No.

I mean, I'm sure it helps people.

Oh, I know it does.

But like what you just said,

you think maybe it made it worse?

Yeah.

It can also do that.

I think

if you go to the wrong person, you're, you know.

I mean,

yeah, I guess that's what it is.

Like a doctor, there's good ones and bad ones.

But it's just such a nebulous area of the human mind.

I mean, like to pretend you know things.

Yes, maybe you do.

You see different, you see lots of patients and you see patterns in people's behavior.

I think you people,

therapists can do that.

but you know so many people have been in therapy for decades it's a crutch and you would think if it you know doesn't something either work or not if to don't you have to give a certain time limit on you know

but

yeah but seem extremely sane Barbari

extremely sane

i wouldn't say that so many people have sat in that chair who are fucking nuts

that's i'm just telling you in like not in every way.

Like you'll be talking to them and blah, blah, blah, and everything seems normal.

And then it'll be like, and then we fake the moon landing and you're like, okay.

And like, I'm telling you, a lot of people, especially people in show business, they just believe crazy things.

Yeah.

And you don't seem crazy at all.

And that's great to see.

Well, I appreciate it.

You'll never know.

Okay.

Well, I can't tell you how much I loved you coming here and appreciate you would do that for me.

I enjoyed it.

You've kind of fulfilled a lifelong dream.

Thank you for having me.

Would you

enjoy it?

Would you sign my bottle?

No, I'm sorry.

I certainly will.

Okay, let's close with the bottle.

Okay.

I'm going to try to get you one of our bottles.

What do you mean?

They were real.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

There's a guy who makes them.