Chris Pratt | Club Random

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They're getting right.

That's the part of the craft.

And every time an actor says craft, I feel like an angel gets kicked in the nuts.

But I'm like, please.

Braddy, get in the car, bitch.

And then they're like, you ate it there.

Scorpio guy kicks my ass and the audience is like, yeah.

Then all I need is a guest.

What's up, bro?

How are you, man?

I'm good, man.

How are you doing?

Excuse me, my lap.

Oh, shit.

What'd you do?

Basketball injury.

Basketball.

Do you play?

No.

No.

Oh, what a shame I could use a rebounder.

Oh, really?

Well, that's how you do this.

You know, the ball hits.

You jammed it?

It's a very common thing.

They call it a mallet finger.

Oh.

Did you ever hear of that?

No.

I hadn't heard of it either.

Was it like the best?

Did it break at the end?

It's a severe, the tendon gets severed.

Yeah.

And then your finger is like this.

So when you give someone the finger, it just looks so weak.

Yeah, I think that happened to Russell Wilson.

And it's very common because the ball, this finger's longer.

Yeah.

Hence the fuck you finger.

Right.

You wouldn't want to give someone like, hey, fuck you.

Yeah.

That's a gentle one.

That's like a.

I only mean it a little bit.

Maybe we could get that going.

You've got a zillion followers.

Put that on your Indian brand.

Start that.

Start that.

This one.

The pinky challenge.

Pinky challenge.

Make it a challenge.

I severed the tenons in this finger a long time ago.

From sticking a steak knife in my hand on accident.

I hope on accident.

Yeah, yeah.

It was a bad day.

It was a real rough season.

Kids ripped rough seasons.

Kids do crazy shit to themselves, brother.

You're right.

You know, I mean.

It looks like it looks like, I mean, look at this scar.

It starts here.

It looks like one of those, it goes all the way up my whole hand.

Oh.

but that's because they had to open it up.

And are you going to get a tenon surgery?

I don't think it's surgery.

I think you just got to, I've been splinting it.

I must say, because it didn't really hurt, that I

didn't treat it right.

And I knew the person I was playing with immediately looked up on ChatGPT.

Oh, well, you're good.

To see what it was.

Yeah, a mallet finger.

A mallet.

And they knew.

I mean, look, I will not have ChatGPT and I want to talk to you about this because I saw your movie about the robots.

Oh, yeah.

And I'm all about the robots lately.

I mean, like, even the people at work are like, Bill, you know, don't get Lenny Bruce about the robots.

Like, but I am.

But, okay, so let's just...

Wait, why did I bring this up?

You were talking about mallet finger, and you went on ChatGPT Google.

Chat GPT.

So, like, chat, I got to give it this.

When it's not fucking up humanity, which it definitely will do,

it does things that like you take a picture of your finger and it's like, hey, it's a mallet finger, and and you should put a splint on it.

It wasn't wrong.

I want to like clearly the progression of ChatGPT and AI becoming sentient at some point, it's going to get funny, right?

And how do you know it's not already there and it just made up mallet finger and that's not a real thing?

What if it's like, you know, I've watched your stuff, Bill, and I think you're pretty funny.

And I think it would be funny as if you went around and told Chris Pratt that you had mallet finger because I'm the one who told you what that was.

That is not an outrageous scenario.

It already hallucinates.

You know this.

Is that true?

You never heard this?

No.

It's called hallucinating.

The thing hallucinating?

They called it.

Well, that's the term the experts have coined for this.

It's when it just completely makes shit up, which it does frequently.

Wow.

Really?

You're not on this?

Oh,

you're going to leave here much more paranoid than you came.

For good reason.

Oh, is that right?

And, you know, you keep making these movies about this shit.

I mean, fuck.

Your father-in-law made the original.

Of course.

And it wasn't wrong then.

It wasn't wrong.

I mean, it predicted that what?

It wasn't wrong in what regard, do you mean?

That the robots are going to take over

and be hostile

and we will have no chance against them.

Isn't that not what the Terminator is about?

Well, yeah, but that was about, but that hasn't happened yet, so we don't know that that's going to be a problem.

No, not quite yet.

But did you see the tape of the one that's fighting back?

The robot fighting back?

Was that real?

Yes, of course.

Are you sure?

Well, that's the other thing AI is bad for.

We are moving into a post-I have no idea what truth is, age.

Yeah.

So, but that I think we're pretty sure was true.

It was from a factory in China or Japan, and the robot is

on some sort of scaffold.

They're working on him, you know.

They're perfecting it.

It's the lab.

And at one point, they try to turn it off, and it fights back.

Yeah, that's freaky.

I got to send you this shit.

I'm telling you,

this is what's happening.

Yeah.

Anyway, ChatGPT was right about this.

Mallet finger.

Go like this.

Take your finger and go like that.

Put your pinky and your thumb together and roll your wrist towards yourself.

Okay, go do it the other hand.

Because we have an extra tendon that we can actually have removed.

I think you might have one on this side.

Some people have it, some people don't.

I had mine removed and was used to fix this hand.

So they could take it.

So you'll have a moment.

In your life where you will not be able to wipe your butt.

I'm already there.

I poured your drink.

That's good.

Did you?

What did you pour?

You're drinking scotch.

I think that's right, scotch.

I'm so glad you're having a drink.

Ah, you know, I thought I would.

I thought I would.

I'm not going to let my friend drink alone.

Yeah, this is what I just made for myself.

Good.

This is

only with.

Cheers, brother.

Thanks for coming.

I know you're super busy.

Giant movie star.

So thrilled to have you.

You've been a fan forever, by the way.

Oh, man.

Thanks.

Me too.

You know, I don't know if anybody ever made the leap.

The only person I can think

is Sally Field.

Like, you know, she was the flying nun,

which was like the silliest of, I mean, it's called the flying nun.

Right.

I don't know.

You're probably too.

I remember the flying nun.

From Nick and Knight or something.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I saw it when it was on.

I was 10 years old.

I mean, for those wondering why she flew, it was because she wore that, you know, like.

What are the

habit that they have?

Oh, that's the habit.

The hat.

Yeah.

I was raised Catholic.

You're Catholic, I know.

Okay, so I used to see that.

And she was so light, it actually flew.

She flew.

She was the flavour.

Really?

I mean, you cannot, other than my mother, the car, that has got to be the stupidest premise.

And yet, 10 years later, she was getting Oscars, you know, and you were, I mean, your show was not stupid.

I loved you on Parks and Rec.

That was great.

But, you know, you just became such a different.

I'm watching your series now.

I love it.

The

terminalist

is that Antoine Fuqua?

Yeah, Antoine.

Antoine Fuqua did

Training Day.

Training Day and Magnificent 7.

He's a fantastic director.

He directed our pilot.

He's the EP on the show.

And didn't he do the Equalizer for you?

Yeah, Equalizer?

I mean, he is.

Once I saw that name at the end of the first, I was like, oh,

that's why I'm.

He's got a great,

or whoever's writing the scripts, great

finger on the beat of like

always

what's next,

which is the most important thing in drama.

Yeah.

You know,

ahead of you, but not so far ahead that it's murky, you know, because some things, I hate TV shows that make me feel stupid.

No one likes that.

I know, I know what you mean.

I know what you mean.

You think I'm an idiot?

You're right, I am.

I can't follow this.

And on one hand, you don't want to underestimate your audience and feed them everything.

You want them to be aware of the audience to have the mystery and be able to kind of solve the mystery and keep guessing but you don't want to be so far ahead that you're like wait i'm gonna just turn this off so it's a fine balance he does a he does a great job yeah we're we're super lucky what i mean my god it must be so fucking grueling to do a series like that i mean like you're compared to a movie like you're shooting so many more hours and scenes aren't you yeah 100 yeah especially that i mean the first season of the terminalist was really i'm almost in every frame of uh you're in every shot the the show and so you know we probably did i think we were doing eight episodes of 15 to

15 to eight we did probably 135 or 140 shoot days and that's that's a lot but it was all in california it was funny because when i was looking to you know i i optioned the book i read the book and got the option and and brought it to antoine and we've it was odd because navy seal navy seal yeah my friend who i was living with at the time former navy seal who's my partner i'm producing on uh the show, brought me the book, the galley copy of the book.

And I found out that Antoine was interested in it as well.

So I was like, I called him, I said, let's not bid against each other.

You know, how about I'll just get the rights and you direct it and we'll come.

And he said, great.

That was smart.

Yeah, we did it.

And

it worked really well.

But it was definitely grueling.

And the reason I chose it was because it was in California.

You know, I could shoot in California.

I was like, I'm trying to find things that I can shoot close to home.

I'm a father.

You know, I want to to be, I don't want to just be off around the world all the time.

And so we were able to shoot that in L.A.

And so that was a big reason I wanted to.

Why?

Because all I read in the paper is that this industry doesn't even exist in L.A.

anymore.

I read that even when they're very often shooting something said in L.A., they won't shoot it in L.A.

because the business atmosphere is so hostile.

It costs so much more.

Is that not the case?

It is the case, but we shoot here anyways.

So you're just saying, fuck it.

That's how I feel about California.

I mean, do I really want to pay so much more in taxes than everybody else in the country?

No, but like, where am I going to go?

Yeah.

If we're selling sunshine,

they're not selling it in Indiana.

It's true.

To the degree we have it here.

Yeah, listen, I don't argue with the idea that we're probably overtaxed in California, and I'm not going anywhere.

So I wanted to shoot it there.

It's definitely not,

it's a bit cost prohibitive.

We have great crews here and there are people willing to take a haircut to work here, which is interesting.

You know, you can say like, listen, maybe we can negotiate that you get paid slightly less than you would if you were on location, but you're going to be close to home.

You can attract great talent there

in the same way.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, I think because I'm a producer on the thing and I'm

an owner on the thing.

You wouldn't get it's going to cost me, I could, if as as an owner on the thing, I would make more money in the premium down the road if I shot it somewhere that was a tax incentive place, but I needed to be home.

So that's why we did that there, did it in California.

And by the way, I shot two movies here last year as well.

So it can be done.

It's just you have to negotiate hard on it and make sure that you're willing to prioritize being in California.

And you need someone who's like, says, otherwise we won't do it.

I mean, it is almost

galling the way it has its hooks in us.

What's that?

California.

I mean,

when I think about all the problems we have, the fires, the taxes, I mean, God forbid that your house burns down and you want to rebuild.

I mean, if you start getting the regulation permits now, you might have it in 30 years when you're ready to sell it.

And we put up with all of it

because

like I'm always amazed, like people who don't have to live here still live here.

Yeah.

Like lots of people, I mean most people who do movies, you're usually on location.

You don't really have to live here.

A few of them live in New York, but it's amazing.

Even the people who you think like live overseas are too cool for, no, they live here.

Yeah.

You know.

Yeah.

Brad Pitt lives here.

Yeah.

They don't live in France.

Johnny Depp, he lives here.

Yeah.

They have houses over there.

They just live here.

Yeah.

It's, I don't know.

It's where your friends are.

It's where the people you're like anybody comfortable around the people in the same industry.

Yeah.

But I mean, how long have you lived here?

Your whole life?

83.

No, I grew up on the East Coast.

Okay.

See, I've been here 26 years.

Yeah.

And so I've put down roots, which make it hard for me to just uproot and go.

And like you said, where where would I go?

You know, my wife's family is here.

They're

not going to I'm not going anywhere.

Why are they here?

They're from Massachusetts.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Because Arnold is here because Arnold was, you know,

is

Arnold and he's megastar and was the governor.

He loves it here.

Yeah.

He wants to ride his motorcycle all year round, right, on PCH or whatever stuff he does.

And

like, yeah, it's a great, it's a great place to be.

And it's, it's, we've, you know, probably pay too much in taxes, and also some of that tax money probably goes to things that

maybe could be seen as a little silly, but maybe, who knows?

Maybe it can change.

Maybe it'll bounce back, maybe it'll swing back in the other direction.

You never know.

We might see some.

Is he a normal father-in-law?

Like,

you know, yes.

Yeah, like, as far as like

father-in-law,

yes and no.

In fact, for me,

he's

it's more normal for me than if he wasn't Arnold.

You know what I mean?

Like, I feel like

what I mean is

it's a really wonderful fit

in my life to have a father-in-law who

understands the business and understands where I'm coming from and gives me advice that I honestly don't know.

There's maybe a handful of people, a dozen people in the world that could give me the advice that he could give me in regards to navigating the world.

Just like, you know, you know, just

pass it on, bro.

Play it forward.

Just as it relates to, you know,

if I have a question about promoting a movie, if I'm like, hey, I'm going to promote a movie here and what are your take on, you know, if I go to promote a movie, this is a global market for the movies, you know what I mean?

So like you're promoting movies

in areas that have different values and different views, but it's still a market, and you have to be mindful of what you say, not being, being thoughtful in your speech.

But

most importantly,

as a father-in-law,

he's really normal when it comes to just adoring his grandchildren.

Like the other day,

he had the girls come over and Ford come over for Mother's Day, and he had a whole paints, all these paints set on his table, and he was doing their hand prints, and he painted like...

He paints pictures for all the kids every Christmas and every, you know, all their gifts and stuff.

He's, you know, has all these wonderful gifts that he gives.

And he's just really thoughtful.

He has them come over every week to feed the animals.

So he's just, he's a doting grandfather, which is pretty cool.

He seems to be very mellow now.

I mean, I feel like, I mean, this is just from an outsider, but I feel like you and he are

very different, actually,

as far as like,

You seem to be a guy who's really on the straight and narrow.

Like, I don't ever feel like I'm going to read a scandal about you.

You are that kind of square-jawed Navy SEAL guy.

Maybe that's why you're so convincing in those roles, you know?

Yeah, okay.

Whereas he, oh, come on, was a bad boy.

Yeah, he was, when he was your age and a movie star in Hollywood, it was just different.

And times were different.

Times were different, and he was different.

And, you know.

He's a one-on-one.

There's no one like him.

That's the truth.

He truly is.

He's a one-on-one.

And yeah, there's no one like him.

And he's, yeah, he's great.

I would love to talk to him here.

I've tried.

I'm not even asking.

That's not why I'm saying it.

I just love him and find him fascinating.

He is fascinating.

And wasn't even against him as governor.

Great as a governor.

I don't remember.

It was, I remember how we got there.

It was a lot about the car tax.

We had a car tax.

The previous governor put on a a car and people, you know, this is car city.

Yeah.

Okay.

This is a car state.

I mean, it's almost famous for it.

Tax anything.

Don't, but, you know, tax their dildo, don't tax cars.

And he was smart.

He rode that right.

And of course, it blew a hole in the budget, caused other problems.

But no, he was.

I always thought like that is kind of what America needs to bring it together.

And by the way, there's not just my opinion of this.

The most successful politicians in America are Republican governors in blue states because

they don't go too far either way.

They're in a blue state, so they can't be fucking right-wing mouth breathers.

But like even people in blue states,

you know, they want shit taken care of.

Like,

they don't want it overly woke.

They want the roads paved.

And you know what I mean?

Yeah, and probably they get to the position they're in by making promises on the sort of front of social progress, and then

they have to cash the check on that.

But if they're like, hey, listen, oh, I didn't do what he did, but no, he's in charge, like, God, I hated all that shit anyways.

I only did that to get elected.

I feel like our all our whole political system now, you know, what it reminds me of, it reminds me of a thermostat war.

That

have you ever had a lover

and you were away with them and or maybe more something more permanent but you you one of you liked to sleep in very cold yeah and one of them liked it very hot great yeah i love it already okay i had this once this is like what our government is now one side gets in and they turn the thermostat to 80 yeah because the other and then in the middle of the night i would get up and turn it down to 60 yeah you know because you went too far.

That's right.

80.

100%.

And then, and all night long, we're having this thermostat, and nobody

can just go put it at 70.

Yeah, put it at 70, set it, and let's just relax.

Yeah, so you're right.

That's that's my uh cogent analysis of very, very good, very good metaphor.

I think in that metaphor, maybe to extend it, I know all metaphors fall apart eventually, but maybe the thermostat breaks.

The thermostat is broken.

That's so true.

That's a great way to finish that.

The thermostat is now broken.

Because we don't know what, you know, the temperature is or,

you know.

But I don't want to worry your pretty little head about that.

You must have a thousand things.

Yeah, it's amazing how you went from like the schlubby guy.

I really did not see that coming.

Because even in one of my favorite movies, Muddy Ball,

you know, I must have seen that three or four times already by now.

It's a great movie.

It's a great movie.

Well, it's Aaron Sorkin, right?

Yeah, Aaron Sorkin wrote it.

Aaron Sorkin wrote it.

Bennett Miller directed, yeah.

Baseball.

Who?

Bennett Miller is the director?

Bennett Miller.

Yeah.

I don't know that name.

He must have done something else.

I think he's done some other things, but Moneyball is so great.

And the book by

C.S.

Not C.S.

Lewis, Michael Lewis.

Michael Lewis.

Different Lewis.

Slightly different.

It's a very author.

Catholic.

Yes.

I like C.S.

Lewis, though.

You would.

Yeah.

Not an atheist like me.

No.

But he is your boy, C.S.

Lewis.

Yes.

of course.

Yeah.

But not the only, he's, I think, a convert, but T.S.

Eliot, you know, one of the great intellects, the great poet of The Wasteland and stuff, I think he was a late life Catholic convert.

It's quite a large club.

Tony Blair,

former English prime minister, I think J.D.

Vance.

J.D.

Vance, yep.

You know, I mean, I was brought up Catholic.

I know this thing,

to this day, if if I walk into a church, you know, there's a feeling that will never go away.

For me, fear.

But it's also, you know, I'm sure for many people, inspirational.

It's both.

I was baptized Catholic as a child, and then I was raised.

My family wasn't religious, but I was baptized Catholic kind of procedurally through my family because my dad was Catholic and he baptized babies.

And then we never really went to church.

I grew up next to a Lutheran church, which I went to a few times and of course lutheranism and catholicism slightly differ in terms of like the way that they translate it is the literal bible lutheran correct me if i'm wrong i may be is the closest of the protestant denominations to catholicism yeah so a lot of the same i believe so and i'm not an expert on this stuff but i know that like

A lot of the same traditions with the acolytes and the crucifers and the altar boys and all this stuff.

And like, you know, it feels like proceeding, like when you go into some of the rituals are really similar to a conflict.

Which is what Protestantism originally was all trying to get away from that.

Right.

And they stripped it of all the bells and the whistles and the magic and the,

I don't know, talking to the priest about what you're doing.

Confession and all these things.

Yeah, the communication.

But the Lutherans got back to some of that.

Yeah, I think from my understanding, and I, like I said, I'm not an expert on this, but I know Martin Luther was this German guy, the printing press.

He created this printing press.

No, no, no.

Gutenberg created the printing pressing pressing pressing potential.

But soon after the printing press came on the scene, he printed his 95 theses, which was the criticism of Catholicism.

Right.

And he nailed it

in the Bible with translations from, because people were getting, you know, people maybe in Germany at the time or wherever around the world were getting Mass in Latin.

They didn't even understand Latin and they were kind of just looking to their priest to say, what is this book saying?

And then the priest could kind of say whatever he wanted.

And so Martin Luther was like, actually, let's look at the Gospels.

What did it really say?

None of this stuff is in there.

There's nothing in this book about confession.

There's nothing in this book.

So that, I think, was spawned like this new branch of it.

So, anyways, you had mentioned I'm Catholic, but I did a collaboration with a Catholic app, Hallow.

And I go to a Catholic church.

My wife is Catholic, but I would probably consider myself to be more Christian than Catholic.

I don't know that I'm necessarily like one or the other.

Well, Christ only denominational.

Anyone who believes in Christ is a Christian, right?

Right.

So that would be Catholic.

Would be Catholic as well, right?

Right.

But I wasn't confirmed in the Catholic Church.

And

I don't want to say, I guess I'm sort of like, I go to a Catholic church.

I love it all.

I'm a follower of

Jesus.

I mean, I made a movie about this, but it was never mean-spirited.

It was just questioning and having fun with it.

But everybody we left after we talked to them, almost everybody.

Certainly at the time, maybe after the movie came out, there was some ruffled feathers.

But at the time, we were all hugging.

And like, it was never like, oh, you were mean to us or trying to put us down.

You know, I said in the movie, you know, I just, I'm preaching the gospel of, I don't know.

I don't know either.

Right.

You know, I just don't, I don't sign on to these things.

And part of it is because, you know, they did traumatize me.

I mean, it's, it's, you can believe in Jesus as a God.

I don't, but you can, and still be critical of his minions on earth and the things they've done.

Sure.

And I'm not getting getting into even the worst things they do, which is way worse than, I mean, I was never molested or anything.

Right.

Disappointed about it, but I never happen.

Well, you don't have the face for it.

That's what I

can't rub it in.

You know what?

You know what, Bill?

But

it would make you feel better.

It would.

It would.

I hear you.

Listen, mankind has been messing this up since the dawn of time.

Yeah.

Because men are, mankind is broken and flawed.

And when you give them,

you started to say men.

Well, it's men, primarily men.

It is primarily mankind.

And

some of that we can flagellate ourselves for.

We are toxic and violent and yes, rapey and a million other things.

We're also created that way.

And part of that also has been why we've also been able to defend humanity from forces.

I mean, somebody had to defeat Genghis Khan.

Right.

You know, I don't know who it was, but I'd like to see that movie.

I'm sure they've made it.

You know, I mean, that's why movies like about Navy SEALs and shit are attractive if you do them right.

Right.

Because we still understand

there's bad people out there.

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Unless you're on dial-up, in which case, none of this matters.

It's interesting.

Yeah, that was really topical.

The book, The Terminalist, is a series of books written by this author, Jack Carr.

He's a former Navy SEAL.

He's written several books now, and it's amazing how

he's predicted.

things through the course of his books.

The first, the second book is,

we're making the second season season of the terminal.

It's based on the second book.

It's called True Believer, which you're going to appear in, which is amazing.

But it's.

I play the Admiral.

And you play the Admiral, yep.

And you drop all the bombs.

It's so cool.

And

that book came out years,

probably a few years before things popped off in Russia and Ukraine.

And he predicted the invasion of Ukraine by Russians.

And then he did, in a follow-up book, he predicted a Hamas

terror attack on kibbutz in Israel wow yeah it's really wild like what is he predicting now is what I would want to know it's all AI you should read uh you should read uh

you should read his books bro I'm telling you read his books

they're really great I

I'm all I will but you know I'm already buying this car off the lot about robots taking over and AI being evil well I got to tell you it's just moving so much faster than people realize

and

not only are the robots fighting back physically, but the ones in your phone and in our computers now,

they do hallucinate, like make shit up out of thin air.

They don't know why it happens.

They'd fall in love.

The very first story after ChatGPT, it was about a month after it came out and everyone was talking about it.

And a New York Times reporter, it was all on the front page.

The The thing tried to talk him into leaving his wife.

Yeah.

They tried to convince him they were in love.

The villain now is AI.

Yeah, but also so is the hero.

And so there's also, you know, if you think about it as a tool, like all tools and systems created by men, they can be used for good and they can be used for evil as well.

What do you mean the hero is AI?

Well, the hero is James Reese.

For you.

The hero is James Rees, but they've, this is a spoiler alert to anyone who hasn't read any of these Jack Carr books, but

the hero is James Reese, but he is confronted by this AI entity called Alice.

And it exists now sort of in the ether.

The government had been creating it to try to stay ahead of a geopolitical foe who had created something similar and were trying to basically allow it to be autonomously controlling our nuclear fleet.

And being like, you can think faster than us.

If we're in trouble, you fire off the the thing, but the thing goes sentient, and then it tracks down my.

Anyways, I won't get into the weeds of it, but she becomes very helpful because she's.

I don't get into the weeds of it.

Because this is

for me.

This shit,

it's not benign.

It's not going to stop.

And we're just watching it.

We think in slow motion, but it's going a lot faster.

And

one thing I've believed my whole life, movies always

like predict the future.

You know, they like what happens in movies then happens.

They imagine it first.

They think of Spielberg movies.

And remember a minority report, Tom Cruise.

And I remember he's like moving things around with his hand on a screen before any, and I was like, whoa,

look at that.

I wonder if they'll ever be able to do that.

And it's like, now it's all our lives.

It's just moving.

Instinctively, you could look at any screen and you just kind of want to go.

if i touch it i'm done that like like a fucking parakeet flying into a window like an idiot i'm just touching like bill that's you know that's a calendar bill

yeah exactly like what the fuck are you doing enhance enhance yeah well what what what i really love about this film that came out uh or sorry the book that came out that um Jack wrote that dives deeply into this.

On the page, you can obviously

explain an idea much better than you can in a film.

Because in a film, you have to show something or you have to have the actor explain it to you in that option.

Better to show.

Better to show,

but really, really complicated to do in filmmaking to show things that are really technical.

Sure.

So you just have to say the entity squiggly lines.

So, you know, Jack Carr

did this really incredible explanation of the difference between quantum computing and quantum computers and supercomputers and like how and there's a thing called qubits have Have you heard about this?

Qbits?

No.

So, like, I mean, I think I've heard the word.

And by the way, I'm, I, I, this I learned from reading his book.

It might be complete BS.

I don't know if it's real, but it seems like it could be.

And knowing him, it probably is real because he does painstaking research.

But so, you know, you know, uh, the, the, the binary code of the internet ones and zeros, like the matrix, everything is ones and zeros, you know, about the binary code, right?

I mean, you know, could I explain it to another person?

No.

Do I have a passing cocktail party knowledge?

Yes.

Well, we're at a cocktail party.

Right, exactly.

You're right on board.

It's basically a computer processing

a sequence of

on and off.

One and zero.

One zero, one more.

One computers work.

Right.

But quantum computers don't work that way.

Right.

They work on qubits.

Okay.

So instead of one or zero, each bit in a one or a zero, in order to give you a pattern of like a million different

bits or say a billion different bits right after you a sequence a very specific sequence of one and zero ones and zeros and a bit a number of a billion that it could process quickly well cube bits are are like imagine this this sphere right here this cube that can be turned in any direction and with basically an infinite number of uh signatures on on the outside of this cube so instead of processing simply simply either a one or a zero it's processing each bit has an infinite number of possibilities so

it's more

Dude, you got it.

In fact, I was hoping my Frankenstein cubits more.

Very good, right?

Cubits bigger.

That's it.

And look, you did get it.

I said cocktail.

Yeah, you nailed it.

You nailed it.

Okay, so

and what is the ramification of this is what I'm into.

Much faster processing speeds.

And so if you have like to what end?

To the end that, like, say, let's say that you're a person who has,

you know, like so many people, you keep a series of passwords locked in an encrypted account online.

Let's say you have like a million different passwords, and you try to create that long password that would take, it would take like a supercomputer 65 years to come up with this 65-digit passcode.

This thing could do it instantly.

Right.

Because it just

the process of.

And so when you talk about the ramifications, it could be.

What's our most secret information that we keep under lock and key digitally under massive protocols of safety that could be breached relatively quickly.

I mean, our entire financial system is

electronic and you know,

it's really dangerous, really scary.

That is.

Do you ever

like when you're working on a show and these, you know, you one reason why your show is engrossing to me, you know, I'm an adult.

I like a show that has issues involved.

And this does.

It weaves them well into an entertaining plot.

That's the trick.

Yeah.

But, you know, I'm not a child.

I need something substantive, you know.

But like, do you ever like, because you're working and there are issues,

like, does it, you take it home?

Like, like, you're, you're still, like, chewing on it when you get home?

Yeah, I think so.

I mean,

the things that I'll find myself chewing on when I get home, unless I'm really thoughtful and mindful

in processing it is like if you go and say like you're doing a scene where it calls on you to be truly heartbroken, truly devastated, you know, and you want it to, you want, in the first take you do, you're faking it and it sucks.

And the director says, hey, listen, I need you to go there, you know?

And then you're like, okay, the cameras are on me.

I need to be heartbroken.

You know what I'm going to do?

I'm going to go through my mind.

I'm going to mine some things that really broke my heart or I'm going to imagine sequences that really put me in the position.

to where I'm truly feeling devastated so that I'm not faking it.

It's real.

And then you unpack all this stuff, and then they say, Action, you do it, you're tears in your eyes, you're and it looks real.

And they say, Cut.

You say, Great job, Chris.

All right, see you tomorrow.

And you're driving home, and you're left to clean up that

subconscious mess.

And so, if you're not mindful about kind of repackaging some of that stuff and putting it back and having a process to get away from that, then you can take it home.

I gotta say,

they used to ask

actors

much less of what we ask actors now because there was a certain revolution in acting in the 60s, I guess.

Maybe it started in the 50s.

Brando certainly was probably there.

Yeah, the 50s.

Which was method acting, which is basically what you're talking about.

Like, you know, think of you go there emotionally and then your character is saying the lines, but emotionally, okay, Spencer Tracy never had to do this.

Clark Gable didn't do that.

They really hit their, hit your mark and bark.

I'm all upset about you.

I'm dying inside.

It's terrible.

Lunch.

There was no, he would never.

We made our actors

become a lot more emotionally

on a roller coaster because that's the way we do it.

And it is, it looks more realistic.

Of course, it works.

It's not like it doesn't work.

I mean, I love Gone with the Wind and Spencer Tracy, but, you know, I'm not fooled.

You know,

There's one movie where he's playing a Mexican.

They just put like shoe polish on his face.

It's like, talking like this.

But in that era, people just accepted, you know, people accept different sort of norms.

That was just how they did it.

Yeah, you're right.

Yeah.

The art form has definitely evolved.

And, you know, I'm not like,

it's pretty rare because there's still times where I show up on set and all I really have to do is just be a prop and I walk through and I look up and that's the day.

You know what I mean?

So it's not like every day, but there are moments where you have to really go there emotionally.

And it's a challenge and ultimately it's an art form, you know?

And so you have to give a little bit of yourself up for it.

I mean, I made my living, here you go, as an actor mostly in the 80s, you know, when I first came out here.

I was always a stand-up and doing the tonight show and stuff.

But, you know, I was on sitcoms and shitty movies.

There's some of the posters around here.

Some of them are not really movies.

I was in.

My friend makes them and they're so funny.

They seem like they should be.

Oh, like that one, Like the TV.

Yeah, that's my rim home, too.

But I wasn't really in that, but I was in one like that.

Bring more of them home.

And like,

it's really funny.

Bring them home.

You have to show the audience that is fun.

I will at the end.

They'll have to stay to the end.

But,

you know, I could never,

I did very well in like comedic roles like that, but I could never make that bridge to what you're talking about.

Like, go be a...

It's not what comedians are.

We're the opposite.

We're always like saying exactly what you're thinking.

We're the opposite of acting.

I think.

That's what I'm at my highest level.

And that's, you know, just very different than what you're doing.

You're pulling off,

yeah, and you're pulling it off, man.

I mean, you, you went from that doughy,

yeah, you have to think back and think, boy, fat me.

was like like

what what was better was there anything better about fat you than when you, like, like,

like, did you know that this hunky guy was inside and then you, all you had to do, like, was, like, get, get, uh,

stop being fat?

Well, the thing was this.

So

it's kind of two questions there.

Was there anything better about that?

Yes.

Not a lot, but some things.

Like what?

Eating.

Eating, yeah.

The moments of,

it was really like,

my life now is almost a photo negative of what it was then in terms of process for the day.

You know, like

I ate, and in the moments I was eating, it was pure euphoria.

And then the minute I stopped eating, I did not feel good until I ate again.

And now it's the exact opposite.

Like I feel pretty good through the course of the day.

And when it's time to eat, I'm like, eh, this is boring.

This is like stopping at the gas station, putting $3 in the gas tank.

You know, it's like enough to get me going.

Nothing sexy about vegetables and chicken and rice and like that.

But in the interim,

which is a lot more percentage-wise of the time of the day, I feel pretty good.

Like, I feel like I'm not processing shitty foods and sugars and all that stuff.

So

it's almost the exact opposite.

So I miss what I got to eat.

That was, because that was fun, man.

You could have a lot of fun.

Eating is fun.

And on parks and rack, oh, God, it was the best.

I remember.

But the second part of your question is, like,

in terms of like me as that guy at that time, I had discovered that I could get work that way.

But when I showed up in Hollywood, I was like 20 years old.

I was in great shape.

I was in great shape.

I had been an athlete my whole life.

I feel like I looked the part, but the problem was I

could only, because I had no reach and I hadn't done anything, the only auditions I ever got was like douchebag boyfriend guy.

Because people would see me and be like, that guy, no, that guy at the end needs to get kicked in the nuts.

Like, he's the guy who drives up in daddy's escalade and he's like, Braddy, get in the car, bitch.

And then they're like, and then the

Twerpy guy kicks my ass, and the audience is like, yeah, because fuck that guy.

I was the fuck that guy guy for a long time.

And the thing is, is I would get cast in those roles, but also I wasn't very good at playing that character because it's just innately not really who I am.

I'm hopefully

humble brag, but I'm not a piece of shit.

You know what I mean?

So, like,

so when I was doing mediums in television, like I did a, I did a

television show called Everwood on the WB back in the day, and it was four seasons.

And the pilot, and it's not dissimilar to Parks and Rec, in the pilot, I was written as the jerk.

And by the end of the fourth season, I was like this nice guy, and they'd kind of tailored the character to be a little closer to my own personality because they thought, you know what, that's actually more entertaining.

It's a little more attractive to the audience than the piece of shit we kind of imagined, the two-dimensional caricature of a bully on the page.

So

I was doing those roles,

and then I got Parks and Wreck.

And well, actually, I was doing those roles, and then I got

into a season of of my life where I was drinking and eating a lot.

And that fit guy stopped working out and I kind of became a little chunky.

And then I had a real serious spell where I didn't get any work.

And then I got Parks and Rec, and I was supposed to be just like six episodes as a guest star.

And I was getting laughs.

And then they picked me up and I said, hey, I noticed, I was watching an episode and I was,

I was like, dude, I got, I'm getting fat.

Like, I need to really tighten it up.

Like, I've never seen myself look so fat.

And then I was like, this is the funniest I think I've ever been.

And then I went to the showrunner, Mike Schur, and I said, I, two things.

One, I'm getting fat.

Two, I want to get much fatter.

And he goes, great.

And so I just pushed it.

I was like, how fat can I get?

It became like a challenge.

Really?

Yeah, I was like eating four burgers at mealtime.

I was really impressing everybody.

And I was really diving into this super indulgent.

season in my life, which like I said, was really fun while I was eating, but it was also, it also made me feel pretty terrible when I when I was looking myself in the mirror when I sat down.

And at nighttime, I'd feel bad.

And I was like,

it wasn't healthy, and I didn't like it.

You actors are so dedicated.

It's no wonder that we give you so many awards.

Yeah, thank you.

Not enough, you know, not enough.

That's what I say.

I think, yeah.

There should be an Oscars for the Oscars.

It actually is because I've seen the Oscar win an Emmy.

Like the Oscar Technist isn't.

Yeah, you're right.

It's like

and the best shop is the MAs.

They will actually do that in Shobush.

Wow.

You're right.

But

that's interesting that you

can

have that on your resume, which is a really good thing because you are going to go back to it.

I'm talking about being funny,

which is you're positioned greatly for it because the best thing you can be is the hunky guy.

who also can be funny, like, and, you know, and play against type.

That's Kyrie Grant.

That's what made him Kyrie Grant and Burt Reynolds in Another Generation.

Burt Reynolds, when you're that guy, Ryan O'Neill did it.

You know, Ryan O'Neill in a couple of movies, like the scientist, like he's a scientist.

Right.

You know, like, glasses, we need glasses there.

He's a scientist.

I trust him.

The key prop in that movie, trust me, the glasses.

Like, that's okay.

All right.

We have this great looking guy.

He's a scientist.

Right, sure.

He's working with dinosaurs.

And Carrie Grant, and I think it's bringing up Baby.

He was like dinosaurs.

You know, it's like they're paleontologists.

They're brilliant men.

And they're also like the girl that wettens panties from all the women.

Okay.

That's the good thing.

So like now you're in a phase like

your series, like

there's no laughs in it.

And I don't want any laughs in it.

Yeah, that's good.

I hate it when they like,

look, I love the Mission Impossible series, but.

There's a little forcing of humor, and it's just like, oh, you know what?

Just save the world.

Yeah.

like I'm not buying this

just it's not that kind of movie right and you know it's like no I want like oh what's next and like oh wow

you know it's just but

it speaks to tone I think that's the thing right like

but you'll want to do a comedy soon yeah I'd love to I think that'd be great oh really I think that's where I'm I think that's where I feel the most comfortable in fact when I'm when I am working usually the third rail bid and you'll go home happier If you do comedy?

Well, you know, unless

the truth is, the outcome, you know, if the destination is to create, like, say, for terminal, is something that's like compelling, psychological, thriller, really dark.

We're still having fun the entire time.

So it's not like you go there and you'd like, don't look me in the eyes.

I'm fucking painful.

It's like, no, they yell cut.

And usually before they yell cut, you say some stupid joke and you get people behind the monitor's laughing.

Well, that's not.

You're having the same amount of fun shooting a comedy as you are, at least least I am, shooting a drama versus shooting a comedy.

That's not every set.

And you must have been on sets.

I mean, that's a good day on a good set.

It's very, very common on sets because there's just a lot of tension and stress.

There's a lot of money on the line.

How much does each shooting day of that series cost?

What are you burning in just in that day?

One day?

Yeah.

A million dollars.

A million a day.

All right.

So you don't really want to fart on that take.

I do, anyways.

My sets are farting.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

But it's not just that.

It's like people fighting lines, fighting whatever.

Like there's a lot of tension.

That's why we've seen video of people just going ape shit on sets.

I know, but I know, but those are isolated incidents.

I think for the most, at least, you know, and by the way,

I've been on sets.

I've seen it.

I've been on sets where, I mean, in my little 10-year acting career, I saw it.

And they weren't like big movies.

It's just something, or TV shows.

It's just something that happens.

People are actors are high-strung.

It's their instrument.

No, not my sets.

Good.

No.

Yeah, people take their cue from the top.

You don't allow it.

No.

That's good.

Yeah.

Yeah, I bet you that's often the case.

I think it is.

And

if I'm going to be number one on the call sheet, then usually the vibe and the tone is going to be really good.

I've been on film sets where it's not the case, though.

I have been.

So there are instances, but it's really,

really kind of rare in my career.

It's a weird,

no, a series goes on longer, but even that, it's going to end at some point.

You're not going to do this your whole life.

Right.

It's a weird thing to be

that concentratedly with a group of people

for a period of time, and then

it's like they all died.

You know?

Yeah.

It's like it's that same feeling.

You ever have that feeling where somebody you just saw died?

Yeah.

You're like, I saw him last week.

Yeah.

It's like, well, yeah, he died.

This is not something for, you know, Peter Graves to look on, you know, mystery.

Yeah, because that was the day he died.

It just happened.

You saw him there.

But it is still hard for us to process that.

Yeah.

It's a little bit like

I've heard, I never went to summer camp as a kid, but I heard that summer camp can be like this.

where you

put into this crucible of like forming relationships that are so intimate and accelerated in a way.

Yes.

You know, and like even now, like I'm having a great conversation with you.

I never met you today until today.

You know what I'm saying?

That's what I love about a podcast.

I love liquor and pot.

Well, I like that about what we do.

I think that like in show business, it's like that.

You get thrown into this situation.

It's like a circus.

You make these temporary, but really powerful and meaningful relationships.

Some of them do last a very long time.

Yes, some of them do.

Sure.

A lot of them, like great friends,

are lasting in a way that you might not see them for 10 years, but when you do, you plug right back into that level of intimate connection that you had when you were last together.

Like with school kids.

Like school.

That's just right.

And so I like that about it.

It's not like necessarily that they died, but it just means that the circus moved.

You know, you're on to the next town.

And that's why it's really important, at least for me, to make sure that my wife, my children, my family, my roots here in California are something.

that I really foster because I know that those relationships are going to outlast every relationship that I make in show business.

Right.

There is the constant to go back to.

So you can then improvise life-wise.

Yeah.

And you got, you know, and I thankfully I'm blessed that the job I have, I love, I'm good at it.

I get paid a ton of money and I get to do it because I can then support that life at home.

So it's kind of really great.

But if you're not careful, you get swept up in it because it's very seductive.

You jump into the, if you go from, if you go from movie set to movie set to movie set, it's really, it's really wonderful.

It's just, it's a little bit,

it's not long-lasting.

Tell your agent

that you want to do a movie like What's Up Doc?

Did you ever see that?

I don't know if I did see What's Up Doc.

Okay, that's the Ryan O'Neill one with Barbara Streisand.

It's great.

It's an homage to those movies of like the 1930s that were originally with Carrie Grant.

He's really playing the Carrie Grant part.

Yeah.

You know, the hunky guy who's really a scientist.

I want to play a scientist.

Right.

Oh, give me a lab coat.

Exactly.

Put on a glove.

That's like

a nerdy guy who doesn't even know he's having this effect on the woman because he's really interested in the dinosaur or whatever.

Right.

Aren't you in Jurassic Park?

Yeah, but I didn't play.

I played like a

cool guy.

It's not.

You could be the dinosaur.

I'll do it.

I'll tell him.

What's up, Doc?

Yeah, tell him you want to do a comedy where you're playing Kyrie Grant, Burt Reynolds, Ryan O'Neill.

Those are the models.

If there's no one in your agency who understands those references, fire that agency.

Understood.

You got it.

And then you'll become my agent.

I would actually have been a very good manager.

You think so?

I do think so.

I think I've been a very good spotter of talent.

And also,

you know, if you're in the business long enough, I mean, you got to learn a few things.

Right.

You know, and I adore show business.

I always say I'm in show business.

I'm just not of it.

You know, I'm not, I'm in a kind of a different category, which I like because I like having one foot in it.

I don't want two feet in it.

You kind of are the same way because and it not of it is

an incredible adage, and I love it.

I live by that as well.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, we do it by different methods.

But, you know, I have no doubt, like, you, family, that's first.

I mean, you got four kids?

Yeah.

yeah, that's uh

yeah, what are kids like?

I

they seem they seem like they know less than us.

I know that, and that's I think that's the barrier I have with wanting to get to know a kid.

And they just seem to know less than me, and like, what are you going to tell me?

Yeah, but I know parents say that they learn from their kids.

I guess you see the world through their eyes, and you see so you see things anew.

Is that it?

That's really, that's just really, that's definitely a part of it.

I mean, you, you

find

the wonder in things that otherwise you wouldn't think twice about.

Like, give me an example.

The sound a paper bag makes when you crumple it.

That blows their mind.

It blows their mind.

And you see their mind being blown.

And in that regard, you're experiencing that for the first time as well, because it's through the eyes of someone who's never seen it.

And so you get to live every moment that you've already lived again.

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Okay, but a follow-up question?

Okay.

I get all that, but why is having your mind blown by a paper bag really something you want to do to begin with?

I mean, it wasn't that impressive the first time it happened to you.

Oh, it was, though.

It was.

It was?

When you were a baby?

Yeah.

Everything is one thing.

I have no specific memory of the first time I encountered a paper bag being crinkled.

Okay, that might be

a thin example.

But, you know,

I don't know.

Oh, it's just.

Here's the thing.

It's tough.

It's not easy.

It's not easy to

parenting, being a child.

Of course.

Having children.

Being a good parent.

It's easy to be a shitty parent.

Yeah.

And there's plenty of them.

There always were.

Oh, yeah.

Anyone can leave it in.

Can what?

Leave it in.

That's all it takes.

You mean the PDF?

Great job.

But being presence.

But even then, you can try as hard as you want, and it still end up kind of, you know.

There's a very...

It's always going to be an ⁇

no one's perfect, but it's a beautiful thing.

But I can't remember what was that.

There's a very toxic, I feel, bro

sort of subculture.

You know, we were talking before about men.

Are they toxic?

Yeah, they are toxic.

I mean,

some of that we can't help.

It's the way we were drawn, okay?

We do have testosterone coursing through our bodies, and it will protect you in some ways and hurt you in others.

I mean, that doesn't mean we're not accountable, but there is a disturbing bro culture as far as their attitudes toward women,

what they're unabashed to say out loud.

We do have that capacity in us to be really bad like that.

And I don't know if we're helping by,

you know, sort of demonizing just what it is to be a boy.

I think you're right.

You have boys, one of them?

I've got two boys, two girls.

Oh.

But I have a 12-year-old son.

And to speak to what you said, yeah, I think it's right.

And I think that,

you know,

recently, in probably the past five, you know, maybe five or ten years or maybe more, there's been this move towards,

I'm trying to think of how to word this properly.

Like, you know, in this awakening, right, around

correct.

An awakening.

There's been an awakening.

As there should have been.

Exactly.

Indeed.

And in

process,

throwing out the baby with the bathwater of what it means to be an important part of society as a healthy masculine male and young boy who can be affirmed in that identity.

Because I think that right now there's so much that's geared towards girl power, which is great.

I'm a total girl dad.

I've got two girls.

They're fantastic.

I love them.

I want them to live in a world where they can be treated equally, socially, economically, you know, given every opportunity that a boy has.

Well, they do.

They already live in that world if they live in America.

Agreed.

Agreed.

And

we're not a patriarchy anymore.

No.

I don't care what Barbie says.

I know that was necessary for the plot.

Right.

But girls are doing good.

It's boys who are not doing good.

You're right.

I completely

across the spectrum, neither boys nor girls are doing all that well right now.

I think that like boys are worse.

Boys are worse.

Yeah, I think that Jonathan Haidt had that incredible book, The Age of Generation.

But he also talks about the level of, in Coddling of American Mind, he talks about the level of self-harm amongst young girls.

Absolutely.

I think both.

Oh, both.

Yes.

Kids is fucked up.

Boys and girls are.

Kids is not learning.

And so.

I think it's really important in a world with people who may, you know, be bad influences, it's important to step up and try to be a good influence.

Right.

That is

amen, brother.

And, you know, the only answer to bad speech, many people have said when they're defending free speech, is more speech.

It's true.

You can't, because you can never like just shut, oh, we can't hear from you.

It's going to get out.

And especially in this day and age with the qubits.

Are you kidding?

You think you can quelch any free speech?

No.

But what you can do is have other people, like you say, step up and say, this is a different model of masculinity.

And, you know, it gets mixed up with politics as everything.

I mean, you're playing like a Navy SEAL, which, look, I've always been a military backer.

My parents met during World War II.

My mother was an army nurse, so like they were both in the army.

Wow.

So I have a soft spot for Army.

And also, we need an army.

There are bad guys and, you know, I'm glad I live in America, the kick-assiest nation.

Do I think we always kick-ass the right way?

No.

But I'd rather be with the kick-ass people than the getting their ass-kicked people.

And generally, we've been righter and more moral than most.

I know that's a low bar.

Yes, it is a low bar.

That's why we were pretty good at passing it.

You know, if you think we're the worst country in the world, then just fucking do some research.

Just fucking

noodle around the internet.

You will find a lot of people who did a lot of worse things right and the military you know has its issues but generally you know I'm thankful for them Orwell said it

great quote about like most people sleep peaceably in their beds at night because rough men are willing to do violence yeah

they should put that on your

I saw

Like there's some scenes where you're like, I guess you're in your garage.

It's kind of like your man cape or something

And the flag behind you, I don't think you say anything about it, but it says,

the only easy day was yesterday.

Yeah.

Is that like a...

That's a creed

in the SEAL teams.

Yeah.

Only easy day was yesterday.

I mean,

for the people who are getting their food delivered by Grubhub every day or whatever

food fuck, whatever the thing, you know, and really aren't doing and playing Minecraft.

And I mean, come on, man.

Just be a little realistic about how cushy your life is.

Right.

And it just, it just doesn't happen.

That's right.

You know, freedom ain't free.

That's truth.

You know.

That is a truth, yeah.

I agree.

I agree.

I think.

So that's the speech I'll be giving when I do your show.

Great.

Perfect.

Perfect.

I'm writing myself a much bigger.

Yeah, it's great.

It's fantastic.

Please say anything, literally anything you want.

Yeah.

And I think that

we are a bit reactionary now, right?

I think there are people who are just like really quick to cut someone off at the past and be like, I know enough about you to know that I'm not interested in hearing what you have to say.

So true.

And I don't know that that's necessarily healthy.

And I think it's not healthy.

I think that like, even like, no, like,

I'm really, I find myself really interested.

in everybody.

And I think that you can't really be interested in someone unless you love them.

I think you have to start there.

And that sounds probably a little foofoo and a little trite, but

I find that to be true.

You have to be willing to engage with someone in a loving way.

And that's something I really like about you, Bill, is you can sit down with just about anybody, hear their point of view,

be interested in it.

Whether you agree with it or disagree with it or share it or don't share it, that's not really the point.

The point is

you can have a conversation with somebody and it doesn't have to be a fight.

It doesn't need to be.

And by the way, when you do have these conversations, the person you're talking to is invariably so different than the person that was painted a picture to you by the media.

Right.

Oh, yeah.

You know, I mean,

I thought you were going to be a huge asshole.

No.

No.

They love you.

That might be true.

That might be true.

No.

But, you know, yes, I will talk to anybody, and I want people just to...

speak to each other because

look you're part of a the kennedy clan now when I was a kid you could never say a bad word about the Kennedys in my house my father was Irish Catholic and John Kennedy was the first Irish Catholic president this was

to the Irish what Obama was to African Americans it really was I mean because people as old as my father remember when the Irish were really a minority that was looked down on and could not get jobs everywhere.

100%, yeah.

Yeah.

So this was a big deal that a president and a Catholic, that was also very, very, this was a Protestant country.

Catholics were, the Ku Kox clan hated Catholics as much as they did blacks and Jews.

Yeah.

Catholics were like papists.

Wow.

You follow the Pope, that whore,

that horlot in Rome.

Yeah.

But anyway, you know, so I grew up in that house where you've, and then of course, reality sets in.

And, you know, there's some people in the family who haven't done admirable things.

And, and, but I still love the Kennedys.

You know, it was just like in my blood.

And basically, they were always on the right side of the issues, I thought.

And, you know, they took on the big one, civil rights, which had to be taken on.

There was no greater political sacrifice ever made than John F.

Kennedy sending troops into the South.

Yeah.

And,

you know, I'm sure people ask you about RFK now because he's in the news.

Right.

And, you know, he sat here.

I, we're friends.

I love him.

Yeah.

I don't agree with everything.

Right.

But I agree with like the overall view that what makes us sick is the toxicity.

You know, when he was here, I said, my advice to you is like, you need to marry your former life more with what you're doing now.

Your former life, you were very admired as an environmental lawyer.

Yeah.

Now you have this other issue, vaccines, and

that's kind of the same issue.

Now he's way more on the left vaccines than I am.

I'm skeptical of all medical interventions, including vaccines.

He said things I don't agree with, but if he would just take those two issues, I think he'd get more toward the middle of where people are, which is like They kind of get it that what makes them sick is all the shit in the water and the air and the food

and giving kids pharmaceuticals when they're young

and like lots of things where we're self-polluting.

Yes.

Including stress and social media and being on screens all day and what that does to your pituitary gland and all this stuff.

He's not, so his big picture, I feel like, yes, I'm glad he's there doing that.

But then he gets specific about things and

I know why people say he's nutty.

Right.

Did people ask you about him?

Yeah, sometimes.

I mean, I don't know.

I kind of feel the same way that you do.

Like,

I've spent a you know number of occasions hanging with him just in a strictly, you know, family dinner kind of vibe.

And I really got along with him well.

He's great.

I think he's great.

I think he's funny.

He's wonderful.

I like him.

Yes.

I love him.

I think he's.

And he's not crazy.

I mean, the people trying to...

He's also got, like, I said to him when he was here, so I don't agree with everything you said, and I don't think your father would either, but your father would be so proud that you stuck to your guns like more than anybody.

I mean, this guy, you can, when this guy believes something, you cannot move him off of it with your bribes.

Yeah, you're right.

For better and worse.

That's a virtue.

And I think that,

you know, politics,

it's a nasty business.

And when you jump in,

and I've seen, and I'm not in politics, obviously, but there's a certain level

to this in Hollywood because Hollywood itself is

a political, you know, institution.

And

I've seen how

the person you are can be

such a contrast to the people

to the person that people are being told that you are.

And you can go, wow, that is pure pure fiction.

And hundreds of thousands, maybe millions of people are being fed that.

And I'm not there to defend myself, nor am I going to jump in and be mired in this story because there's this proverb, Proverb 26, 20, for lack of wood, the fire will go out.

And you're like, okay, so someone tweeted something.

It's not real.

300,000 people liked it.

Am I going to shine this light of 50, 70 million people onto this topic?

I don't even read them.

Yeah, you can't.

I don't.

And so

my little bit of experience, I've been able to see how the person that you are can be sometimes in stark contrast to the person that

your enemy is saying that you are.

And in politics, you inherit enemies.

And when you jump on,

you know, the

bandwagon with who is the most divisive president ever, it makes sense that

you're going to be

made to look terrible.

And so so I don't know what to believe.

Cause it's not like I sit with Bobby and I go, so hey, let's talk about this.

Let's talk about it.

It's like we're just playing cards or playing mafia or having fun or having dinner.

I'm not going to pick his brain to find out exactly which of those things are true.

I just kind of assume that none of them are.

And for the most part, I wish him well, man.

I hope there's certain things that he

oversees that seem to be supported in a bipartisan way, like getting terrible, toxic stuff out of our kids' food.

I think that's a great thing.

And so like, just if you just do that, that's amazing.

I'd hate to be so mired in hatred for the president that any success from his administration is something I'd have an allergic reaction to.

To be like, oh, well, if they do it, I don't want it to happen.

I'll feed my, I'll put Clorox in my children's cereal myself.

You know, say, come on, have some, be reasonable here.

There's certain things that would be a good thing to have.

I want them all to be successful.

You know, when it comes to like the media, like you were saying, and like what they say about you,

people have to understand

our cynicism, or I won't include you, I'll just say mine, about the media, comes from something that most people do not have access to, that we have access to, which is

we read things about ourselves.

Right.

Most people don't.

Right.

Okay.

So, and you go, if you got this much wrong about something where I know what the truth is,

what are you getting wrong?

about the other thing completely that that's so in my mind 100 you know like you can't really expect me to trust you after you said this and this and this.

And maybe you really thought it.

If that's the case, then you're just kind of dumb and lazy.

Lazy.

Didn't do your homework.

Would have been so easy to look it up.

Or you're just slanted.

You're just like, oh, he's on the bad team because he had dinner with Trump or whatever your reason this week is.

And so I'm just going to shit on that.

And like, okay, but then don't expect me to believe you about anything.

Right.

Anytime you see someone, yeah,

it sours the notion of sources close to them.

Say, I'm like, no, they didn't.

I don't, I'm sure no one says that because

you don't have a source close to me that said that because

unless they just made it, someone who hates me lives close to me and made it up.

You know, they're not used to, I mean, they know people like you.

There are people like you in show business, Tom Hanks, you know, like straight arrows.

I mean, I don't mean that as an insult.

It's a compliment.

You're a straight arrow.

Most people in show business are not.

They're skanky, they're sleazy, they're shady, they're sus in many different ways.

And they got lots of secrets and they're doing lots of shady things.

And so it's very,

a source closed is probably 20.

Right.

You don't think there's people ratting on Kanye or whatever.

You don't think these people make like giant enemies with their crazy behavior and their diva behavior.

Right.

You know, all you need is like

one time be like, you can't look at me that thing.

You know, like, which I've heard about more than one person.

Like,

I don't know who started this, or maybe there are multiple people who do it, but I heard it about one music artist first.

When he walks out on stage, the crew is told, you know, don't look him in the eye.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's the thing.

That's like, yeah.

Which just makes you.

It's really important, though, someone in your position, my position, that we are mindful of the people that we have around us that represent us, because I'll bet you that

directive was not given from the artist.

It was given from a representative of the artist.

Probably like, hey, you know what?

He's having a fucked up day today.

Just don't even look him in the eye.

You're right.

And he's like, you know what he told me?

He walked over, and then they have to really gussy up the story to make themselves, A, I'm in close proximity to this rock star.

You should hear what I have.

Here's the dirt.

Like, everyone loves a little bit of gossip, you know?

And so then by the time

the lie travels around the world, it's like he kicked the door in.

He said, listen, you motherfuckers.

No one look me in the eye.

You know, it's like, okay.

Because that's a more interesting story.

That's how lies.

And also, you're so right about show business minders.

Yeah.

You know, it's so easy to have people who think they're doing you a favor.

And really they're trying to like kind of like big themselves up about how they were saving you from.

from and he's like don't save me yeah you know save me from say you have to know what to save me from yeah my friend Martin Lewis once told me a story about Pete Townsend of the Who and he did a solo thing I think it was at the House of Blues and he's backstage after the show and sitting alone in his dressing room and no one no one's there and Martin who's I guess one of his good friends finally comes backstage and Pete's like Zach, what's the matter?

He said, I guess nobody liked the show.

Martin said, no, your guy wouldn't let anybody backstage.

You know, protecting you from like what a performer probably needs more than anything, affirmation.

Yeah.

Why do you think we did this in the first place?

We are deeply insecure.

It's all about mommy, look at me.

I'm doing it.

Please, what about me?

No, I'm doing it now.

You didn't see.

I'm doing it.

Look, mommy.

Right?

Yes.

Or daddy or somebody.

Somebody.

Somebody.

I'm going to be loud enough that you won't meet me in the mall again or whatever.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's the truth.

I mean, I'm so glad I got out of your game because I wasn't, as I say, really suited for it and hated like makeup on my face all day and sitting in the trailers.

I don't know.

I'm not a patient person.

You have to be patient to be an actor.

That's true.

But I do remember the...

It was a high, an adrenaline kind of high to like do your close-up and and hit it.

Yeah.

You know, not the,

you said before the first take is shit.

Do they still do a master first?

Like when I was doing stuff, they would do a master first.

Yeah.

And I remember hearing Ryan Gosling talk about this on some documentary and he said, it's such a waste of time the way they do these movies.

Like they do a big master, which they never use.

Right.

And you use up all your...

juice.

Yeah.

And then you get to your close-up and you've done it six times.

It's like,

and I thought, oh, wow.

I thought I was the only one who thought that.

Yeah.

No, God, it's a great point.

Yeah.

It kind of depends on

that.

That's really the job of

a great communicative director to be like, hey, listen, we want to master because we want to create the geography of this thing.

Right.

Don't blow your nut on this take.

Okay.

Let's just walk through it.

Let's just get through it, get the lines.

Let's get the cameras.

Make sure everyone's on board.

Make sure the camera's in the right spot.

The boom's in the right spot.

We're going to make sure we're doing everything we can properly.

So don't waste it.

If a director says that to you, then you'd be less likely to be like,

oh, that six months of prep, and you blow it, and you're like, oh, that was a great rehearsal.

And you're like, yeah, I'll never get that back.

So, yeah, you have to be careful.

And that's the job of the director to make sure that they're really great communicators in terms of what we're getting.

Because that's a big thing that I learned sort of like as I step to the other side of the camera, being more of a producer now, or as much of a producer as I am an actor, whereas before I was just acting, is like, it kind of, the only important thing is what's picked up on that little 35 millimeter lens, you know, what's picked up on that, on that screen.

That's what happens.

That's what matters.

That's what you're taking to the edit.

So all this other stuff that you might be doing as an actor, it might just be kind of wasted.

And so understanding.

What other stuff?

Like, like, like, like an activity?

Like, like behavior activity,

you know, sort of deep.

painful feelings if you're in a big wide shot.

So like understanding where the camera is, which lens is on the camera and what shot they're getting, that's part of the craft.

And every time an actor says craft, I feel like an angel gets kicked in the nuts.

I'm like, please.

But it really is kind of a craft, you know?

No, it is.

It's, it's, it's, it's, yeah.

And that's why I always say older actors are better.

Yeah, they just, they just are.

Like anything in life that's like a 10,000 hours thing.

Yeah.

Like you watch them in their 50s and 60s and they're like, you know, they're the old thing.

I'm not, they're not acting at all.

You know, you don't don't see the acting.

Right.

Yeah, that's it.

That's just right.

I think, and, you know, it's like you did, you've done stand-up for years and years and years.

It's the same kind of thing, right?

I mean, like, once you've done stand-up for many years, I'm assuming I did it briefly for like a little bit when I was in my early career.

Really?

Yeah, a little bit of stand-up moment to come.

Wow.

Yeah.

It wasn't great, but it was fun.

And yeah, it was like.

Yeah, and I did some kick-ass movies.

Yeah, that's right.

Okay.

So we

had in a few billion-dollar franchises.

So we're easy.

But I think that that's there's a there's a

there's a looseness and a flow state that comes with knowing

not what to expect, but being ready for all of it and ready to kill at every moment.

You're talking about in a scene?

In a scene or when you're in a flow state of on stand on

doing stand-up comedy or in a scene where like you get there, you may have rehearsed one thing, but you can't be married to what you expect to do.

You just have to be ready to do the right thing at the right time, and innately you're going to know what that is.

You might move off your material and if the crowd is liking something else, you might go into some

crowd work.

You might just go back to the joke that worked.

The big punchline from last week, all of a sudden, gets nothing, but then you have a different audience tonight.

It's like you're feeding off the energy of the actor opposite you.

You're like, wow, I really thought they were going to, there was an exclamation point.

I thought they were going to scream that at me.

They whispered it to me.

I have to react to that whisper.

I have to listen and react rather than just like say it how I prepared it.

Yeah, that's not exactly how stand-up works.

It's trust me, it's exactly how stand-up works.

I mean, you heard it here.

I did it 26 years ago, and I know a thing or two.

If a big punchline works one night, it'll always work.

Yeah, I mean, you can have the occasional lucky night where the crowd is hot and they're kind of going for anything.

But, you know,

I had been doing stand-up on the road for over 40 years years and just recently stopped.

Like I'm only retired from stand-up, not from life in general or my show or this, but just stand-up for six months.

And

one reason I stopped is because it's funny, I would only do weekends.

I'm a homebody, you know, I don't want to, I'm not like a warrior like you.

I don't want to be fucking in, you know, dijbouti for

six weeks.

I do now you guys do it.

You guys earn your pay movie stars.

I'm a baby, so I would do two cities,

private plane, go home after the second show, the second night, so I'd only be home, away from them one night.

The first night, because I hadn't done stand-up since like two weeks before, I would do it like every couple of weeks,

my act was like not in my head enough.

And the second night, I was bored.

Because I'd done the jokes and I provoked them.

There was no like middle ground anymore.

So,

but generally, no, I always worked with a,

yeah, not always, but like in all those years in this century, I had a music stand on stage with like my bullet points, you know, just like a poor man's teleprompter, just bullet points.

But it was the greatest thing in the world because as you're saying about improv, I could just like, that's the dock, and I can take the boat out

as long as I want because I'm not going to lose sight of the shore because I always go right back to, you know,

and that's the greatest, to me,

freedom in the arts is when you can have like structure and then the freedom to make it even better.

Yeah.

But you always have that.

I mean, you know, and I guess there are some people who are ballsier than me who are like, well, we're going to throw away the structure.

We're just going to, we're, we're going out to sea and we're either going to find America or die on the way.

You know?

Yeah.

Maybe that's ballsier.

I guess it is, but I like the other way.

And, you know, I'm not trying to win any medals here doing stand-up.

You know, I don't need to be the ballsiest one, right?

Just the funniest one.

Well, who, who, who are, in your mind, the greatest in that art form?

Well, Carlin

is like to most comics, you know,

the first one they probably would put on the Mount Rushmore because

he sort of

had the trifecta.

He was ballsy as shit.

Like he would just say what he felt.

I mean, he had a special right before 9-11 that they had to change the title for.

The special was called, I like it when a lot of people die.

And even George said, yeah, we got to change the title now.

I mean, that's not the kind of thing he normally would have said.

Right.

But even he was like, yeah, okay.

But like,

I mean, he was just, I remember one special, um,

and this is when Lance Armstrong was before he was found to be cheating,

um,

was the hero of all time because, of course, America cares so much about bicycle riding.

I never understood why that was such a big thing in America.

It was, yeah.

But he was like the biggest hero.

Bicycle riding?

What's next in the Olympics?

Running around the block?

Okay, so

he started one of his specials by saying, fuck Laura,

fuck Lance Armstrong.

Don't tell me who my heroes are supposed to be.

That's why we love him.

And he was very hard to peg politically.

I mean, there were some things he would do that you would think traditional.

He was left-wing, certainly like quasi-socialist, like, you know, standing up for the poor and that kind of stuff.

Okay, cool.

But he was was also like, didn't care about the environment.

Like his thing was the planet will be fine.

I'm like, George, yeah, the planet, we're not worried about the planet.

We get it.

The planet itself will be fine.

We're concerned about our lives on the planet.

Okay.

So he, you know, but he was never contrarian just for the sake of it.

You know?

I mean, you got the feeling he, and he was just funny.

And he could go back and forth, and he also got to like so so many premises in the 70s yeah when observational comedy was fairly new you know before that it was a lot of my mother-in-law right i took her on a pleasure trip we went to the airport you know that was you know that was comedy right right the yeah the setup the setup yeah

any youngman you know yes and then you know he kind of changed the game the way brando did in acting you know and it was uh not just him robert klein was also a huge hero for people of my generation.

Same kind of thing.

But George was just, he got to so many premises first and he went through a transformation.

And kind of like you, you'd be interested in this because you are a transformer.

He

started out suit and tie, short hair, you know, skinny tie, this is the 60s, and was on Ed Sullivan and, you know, very mainstream shows, doing fairly mainstream comedy.

And then he put out an album called AM and FM.

AM was him, the old him, that was side one, and side two was now he's in like a tie-dye t-shirt, his hair's down to here, he's got a beard.

Wow.

And he wasn't the, you know, he started out in an era where you could only be that guy with the suit and tie and the short hair and the clean material.

And then he said, fuck that, I'm going for,

you know, this, the real me.

Right.

And, of course, we loved it.

That's great.

We 15-year-olds

who who were thinking about being comedians.

That's cool.

So, some of it's emotional, like all our connections to stand-ups are.

But, you know, he certainly, I think, is the one guy we would put up there that very few people would argue with that choice if you had to name three guys.

Yeah.

You know, Richard Pryor

obviously is

in that kind of realm, changed the game.

I was never a Cosby fan.

Until

It's funny.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Until I found out he was a horrible serial rapist.

Then I was like,

I'm going to go back and go through some of his stuff.

Maybe I've misjudged this guy.

No,

never was a fan.

I just thought he was corny.

I thought the whole thing was corny and fake and phony, and turned out I was right about that.

We were, yeah.

But I didn't know you had done stand-up.

I mean, and how did you like it?

You know,

I don't know that I did it enough times to where I really got into a rhythm and I didn't have like a great act, but I liked it.

I liked performing.

I was hungry to perform.

Where did you do this?

I did it in Seattle at a couple of club called, I was from, grew up in Pacific Northwest in Washington State from like second grade till I was just out of high school.

I love that area.

It's really beautiful.

I love that.

It's something about it.

I mean, I've been there many times, you know, obviously on the road as a comic.

Every couple of years, you play Seattle and Portland,

you know, and Vancouver.

Yep, B.C.

Oh.

You know,

what is it about that area?

I mean, first of all, it's clean, I think, because the air.

Something about the air, right?

Yeah, I think it's clean.

I think that

I'll tell you,

I think that the weather itself is, it's really oppressive

nine months out of the year.

Right.

And so if you catch the right day, you're just going to find an entire state full of people in the good mood.

Like,

like I remember we would have, seriously,

100 to 130 or 140 days of rain in a row.

And then spring around May, June, the first day of sunshine would hit and traffic would slow on the freeway to like 40 miles an hour.

And you would just feel the sun through your window and it was just

amazing.

I live in LA.

So when I went to Seattle, I was looking for the opposite experience and usually got it.

I wanted the raw, I grew up in the East Coast.

There's a kind of a raw weather feel that we would get like at the beginning of spring, like St.

Patrick's Day.

Like when winter had lost its nip,

but it was still kind of just bracing.

I loved it.

Maybe a little drizzle in the air.

And when I would go to Seattle, like that's what I got.

You know, I wanted to be at Pike's Market, feeling the drizzle and

feeling up the fish that

in the ice there.

You know, it's definitely

Pike Pike's Market, of course.

Yeah, I used to, I was for a while.

I was a door-to-door salesman, and I used to row all through Seattle

when I was doing stand-up comedy, and I just got to know

a door-to-door salesman?

Yeah.

What are you, 80?

No, 17.

I was 17, 18 years old.

Yeah.

A door-to-door salesman?

What year is this?

1997.

Selling what?

I was selling these little coupons

for businesses in the service industry.

So like oil changes or like trips to a spa or salon, that kind of thing.

It was, you know.

And you just cold cocked the door.

I would cold call business people working.

So I would walk around, like if we did, like, say, represented a Midas shop.

And it was somewhere in Seattle, I'd walk within like a four-mile radius and just go to the people who worked there.

So I'd walk into the store, no soliciting.

I would walk right past and say, hey, I just, I'm down here from Midas, and we're doing this thing for people who work in the neighborhood.

And so I'd sell it to employees of businesses around there.

And why didn't you stick with it?

You know, I'm going to be honest with you, Bill.

It fucking sucked.

I did pretty well, though.

I was salesman of the year.

I won a free chip to Jamaica.

I opened my own office in Colorado.

Like, it was multi-level marketing.

I was an idiot.

I had zero critical thinking skills.

I was the perfect fucking Patsy.

And honestly, I thought I was set for life until I realized everyone else who answered that ad was smarter than me and they didn't buy it.

And I was like, but like the biggest sale you do in that job is selling yourself that this is something that's going to help you.

I remember when I wanted to quit, I called the guy who had hired me and I said, man, I'm just dying out here.

This, I am so,

I'm dying.

I'm in debt.

I can't keep anybody on.

Like we would hire just the bottom of the unemployment barrel.

Like I had a guy come in and he like robbed a place.

He was like, I don't know what to do.

And he said to me, I remember Greg.

I remember Greg.

I won't say his last name, but that's not good.

Yeah.

I was like, oh, shit.

And I literally hired a guy who was a two-time convicted violent felon.

Here it is.

The spit take.

I got one.

We have a whole reel.

Yeah.

And

he was on the house.

He was like on a kind of house arrest situation, like living in a home.

And he was like, called me.

And and they were like listen we need him

by the way he was

i won't like

i'll get to this but he was an amazing guy like he taught me so much

he was no listen he had he had really found god in prison he was like a really special dude it was one of the first authentic relationships i had with someone who was African-American in my life.

Like, yeah, it was actually really beautiful.

But point being, when I first hired him, I didn't know any of that.

And his like, he was living in like a halfway house.

And the guy was like, hey, we need him to be supervised at all times.

And we were like, oh, yeah, for sure.

That's what we do.

And then day one, I just drove him on a minivan.

I was like, I'll pick you up here at 5 p.m.

Go knock on every

door in this neighborhood.

And he did very well.

He got arrested a couple of times.

Arrested?

Yeah, well working for us.

Probably for being black.

He was down in Olympia and he was knocking on doors and someone got scared and called the cops and the cops came and and they were like hey someone was scared which i think a lot of times when people who are arrested look they're who are black it's because someone who was scared of them called the cops and the cops all they know is some we got a report of a guy who's suspicious and they come and arrested him but uh anyways audio we yeah i said his name but his name yeah his name was audi he was amazing and uh and uh

He I was 18.

He was 42.

I was his manager and we became really close friends.

And he was, he was awesome.

He told me.

Actually, I don't know where he is.

It's been 26 years.

I don't know if you're out there watching Audi.

I don't want to say his last name, but

if you're out there, buddy.

You'd like to reconnect.

Oh, it'd be awesome.

It'd be awesome.

I remember him telling me one time, he goes, You know, man, you've transcended.

I was like, That's amazing.

I was like, I don't know what that means, but I think that's what it means.

And he's not wrong.

Really?

Yeah.

What did he mean?

He meant you transcended being the fat guy who was like on a sitcom to being like a giant movie.

You could see into the future.

Well, oh, we said it before.

We said it when I was 18, yeah.

Oh, well, then he was predicting the future.

Anyways, Door Door sails back to Seattle, and I did that.

And

so to circle back to why Seattle is so lovely, there's an attitude there, too.

There's a real attitude there.

I think part of it is,

you know, if you look at like the very, it's a different attitude than the East Coast.

I think like if you look at just the way Manifest Destiny pushed, you know, we colonized, headed west.

Correct.

And it was like, if you're in New York, you were like, fuck you, you keep going.

This is mine.

You know, people from Seattle are like, I'll go.

I'll keep going.

They got pushed all the way to Seattle before they were finally like, I guess we could stay.

It's rainy, but we'll do it.

You know, it's like

there's a toughness, but also a politeness on the surface.

So like people are, people can handle a lot.

It reminds me a little of Chicago in the sense that it's a, like, Seattle is a big city.

Right.

Like, you forget, like, when you fly into Seattle, like a lot of cities in this country, and I've been to them all, I mean, there's a little downtown with some tall buildings.

Seattle's big.

It's a big fuck, and it's like the gateway to a lot of the,

you know, commerce to Asia, which is a lot of the commerce.

Yeah.

It's big

and rich.

But like, and so is Chicago, but it doesn't have the bad New York attitude.

Yeah.

You know, I lived in New York twice and, you you know, I love New York.

It's kind of my roots.

I grew up across the river and New York team still root for them and all that.

But, you know, it was never, I never vibed with that city.

It was not my city.

Yeah.

You know, I like visiting,

but it's, I vibed here.

You know, like, we're back to that California, babe.

I've never vibed into any city, really.

I'm not a fan of

because I think that like for me, I like nature.

I want to see, like, you're walking here through your grounds, beautiful.

That beautiful sycamore, all those oak trees, it's just gorgeous.

I love that because it's, and as a believer, it's the creation.

And I'm looking at this creation.

I'm like, and it points me towards the creator.

Whereas if I go to a city, they're all man-made creations and it points me towards men.

And I'm like, eh.

You know, the creator put some pot plants out there too.

Did you know that?

The creator's been busy.

Do you smoke the pot that you grow?

Correct.

Is that right?

That's cool.

That's cool.

Yes.

That's cool.

Let's talk about getting high on your own supply.

Literally.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Who else can I trust

not to spike my pot?

There you go.

Well, you can trust the woods.

That's your pot company.

That's my woods.

That's my pot story that Woody Harrelson

on Santa Monica.

And Dean, are you with

Howard Dean?

Not Howard Dean.

Dean Phillips is now running it.

I had dinner with him too.

Is that right?

On Sunday, yeah.

What a small world.

And what were you two talking about?

He came over to Maria's house.

My mother-in-law has a family dinner every Sunday.

If people don't remember, he was the guy who challenged Joe Biden.

He was a congressman when we lost.

The congressman ran for president.

So he's a friend of the family.

I guess he's a friend of the family.

Yeah, I think he was.

I think he is.

Yeah, I think he may have been a guest.

Yeah, he must be a friend of the family.

He came.

But we had a nice conversation.

He told me to tell you, say hello, and he told me a little bit about the Woods, the company you guys are in.

Yeah.

It's a first of all, it's a terrible

situation that pot stores are still sort of

bad people who we can't like trust with your like banking and shit so like there's too much cash yeah you know uh that kind of stuff which it tends to attract robbers um wait why is there so much cash because they have banking laws against bad people oh there's banking laws against yeah

we're bad we're bad people who are who are

i think you're probably probably a piece of shit but

we're bad people who are addicting people to something terrible terrible.

So we can't bank.

It's all, you know, it's just the kind of bureaucratic bullshit that makes.

It's really interesting that they choose to throw a conscience in that aspect of capitalism.

Exactly.

Now we're going to use our conscience.

If I told you all the hurdles that we had to try to get over to just establish

a marijuana company in

this state,

it's just ridiculous.

They do not make it easy.

Do you think that is because

of

big

tobacco or someone who would like to kind of like

turn pot into the new Bud Light or something, and they just want to make it difficult for the mom and pop shops to be able to do that?

That is because of big Democrats.

Democrats?

Yes.

And I know your family.

And again, my family loved them, too.

Yeah.

Tried and true for the Democrats, but Democrats have a lot to answer for, too.

I didn't vote for the Republican.

I don't think I've ever voted.

At one time I did, but it was a sentimental vote.

But

yes, Democrats run this state, and Democrats are the ones who need to.

If you want to have an easy, low-hanging fruit victory with people, just cut the red tape.

You make it impossible to fucking do anything in this state.

That's truth.

And we put up with it because of the sunshine and for the rest of it, but it's so unnecessary.

It is so unnecessary.

And,

you know,

why would you just commit this unforced error?

Why do you think so many states, I mean, so many companies have left this state?

and went to other states.

Right.

Regulations.

Overly regulated.

You make it impossible, Not just regulations.

I mean, just hooking up my solar here was a nightmare.

And anything, anything you want to do, you know, I mean, changing my garage doors from three to two required three inspections.

I just put a new roof on.

That required two inspections.

You don't need to inspect my fucking roof.

If it falls on my head, that's on me.

You know?

Trust us people

to do a few things for ourselves.

Yeah.

Stop looking over my shoulder for everything.

I get nagged enough by my car.

What's your car?

Every car.

You don't get nagged by your car.

Oh, by your car.

Buy your car.

I think it's for your car.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Listen,

you don't have to sell me too hard on the idea of

cutting some of the red tape.

I think that's, but that's unfortunately

the mindset.

Wanted to like, I don't know where you live, and I don't want to know because, you know, know we don't need to like put that shit out there.

The address is

but I would like your parents' home number.

No,

okay,

but

you know, say you wanted to

add on, you know,

either you're going to do it without telling the authorities or you're going to tell them and they're going to make your life miserable.

And it's just like, why?

What do you think is going to, what bad do you think is going to happen when a giant movie star is putting on a second bedroom or something?

You know, like, just let us live our lives.

I agree.

And they wouldn't do it.

You would have to have, I mean, a friend of mine's a house burned down in Malibu during the first Malibu fires, like four years ago.

And he was putting in, I think, a septic tank, and it needed Wi-Fi.

Oh, that was your best gym from the office tank.

The septic tank needed Wi-Fi?

Correct.

There you go.

To like tell, to like send something to an iPad to tell you when it was overflowing or something.

But, you know, it's a vat full of shit.

I grew up with a septic tank.

Yeah.

Yes, when it rained a lot,

we were like pumping.

Yeah.

Like, we were like, don't let the septic, but that's a perfect metaphor.

It's like, no,

we want to get in your shit.

We demand, we impose.

That's our, we will know when you shit.

It'll cost you.

But it is nice weather.

But I still love it.

I do too.

I'm hooked.

I'm hooked up.

And

I'm not completely sold that it can't be made better.

And I think that there's enough people who feel the same way.

I think it can be.

Well, and everywhere.

I mean,

traditionally, of all the sectors of our lives,

the military actually has been the one most sane, most apolitical, you know,

most forward-thinking racially.

You know, once they integrated after World War II, I mean, African Americans did very well.

Yeah.

You know, we just had an African-American Secretary of Defense and Colin Powell.

And, you know, it was a place for advancement.

I mean, I'm sure there was still racism.

Right.

But

the military, you know,

was sort of like when they would do polling.

What do you trust?

The press, the Congress, no, hate them,

the press, hate him, hate the media, hate everything, the military, no.

Yeah.

You know, they're still mostly guys who are, you know, putting their life on the line and, you know, want to do it for the right reason.

Anybody who like signed up after 9-11,

it wasn't for the money.

No.

You know,

I think about a guy like Pat Tillman.

You know, remember him?

Arizona

Cardinals football hero, real good player.

Yeah.

Went to Afghanistan, killed over there.

I mean,

that's America to me.

It is.

I think, and it can be found in the military.

It can also be found in politics, but it's, I think, being of service is really.

But the guy you're playing is not a real guy.

No, no, no.

He's just a composite of what a SEAL guy really is.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

The writer of the book, Jack Carr, is a former SEAL team commander.

And so he's kind of, you know, he crafted this character.

If you haven't seen the Netflix documentary on Bin Laden, it's so good.

American Manhunt?

Yes.

Yeah.

It's great.

I got a, I shouldn't plug something not on HBO, but that was.

Right.

But it was great because.

White Lotus.

You're talking about White Lotus.

Exactly.

Oh, is that your cousin?

Who's he now?

What is that kid now, Dean?

Brother-in-law.

Brother-in-law.

Yes, my wife's.

Brother-in-law.

Yeah.

Right.

He's great.

He was great.

He's great in it.

What a family.

What a thing.

The whole Kennedy vibe going.

Do you play touch football on the lawn like the old Kennedys used to do?

You got to get into that Kennedy vibe, right?

Yeah, I've gone out a couple of times out to like Hyannisport and been able to

see some of the old haunts of where they've...

Yeah,

it's been really, it's really amazing and eye-opening for me because, I mean, I didn't grow up, I'm not educated.

You know, I went to high school and got really good grades and did some AP classes, but I didn't go to college.

And I was educated on Arnold.

I mean, that's that was my college.

It's like watching Commando.

So when I met Catherine, I was like, that's crazy that her dad is Arnold.

I didn't think it was crazy.

I'd been in business long enough to know that it was pretty normal and actually kind of relatable in a way to me that would be sweet.

But I didn't fully comprehend how many people

were such fans of

the political side of her family.

It didn't really strike me until.

And you're telling me being raised, you know, is Irish Catholic, I imagine your whole life was the Kennedys.

I remember seeing the movie about Kennedy with Kevin Costner.

That was that Oliver Stone movie.

Oh, so great.

But beyond that, I didn't really know much about it.

Are you kidding?

No.

No.

I know someone named Kennedy.

Named Kennedy?

Yeah, their first name.

Really?

Oh, yeah.

And she's great.

Is it the MTV?

coming?

Not that one.

That's the only Kennedy I knew.

No, no.

All right.

That was so much fun.

Oh, my God.

Thanks for having me.

Oh, it was so much fun.

No.

And we'll see you soon, I think.

Yeah, soon.

I can't wait.

I'm excited.

Yeah.

I'm not in the scene, but I'm going to come by and visit Seth.

What's my motivation?

Am I me?

You're Bill Maher.

Okay.

And I'm.

Well, I can't wait to see the scene.

Your real motivation is, I'm going to tell you real quick.

A terror attack has,

there's a new terrorist.

He's a new head of al-Qaeda, a new type of al-Qaeda.

And

the world has considered him enemy number one.

He's like the new Osama bin Laden.

And you're having a panel on people who are experts in terrorism.

And one of them is a journalist named Katie Baranek, played by Constance Wu.

Oh, I see.

She's the reporter.

Yeah, the reporter.

And you'll refer to me, and you'll say, well, what makes, what, what's the difference between James Reese and this guy?

This is also a guy who is a true believer who lived for all this stuff, who killed people.

Did those people not deserve to have a trial?

Doesn't that make him a terrorist in a way?

Isn't he imposing his own dues?

So that's the idea is you, and to do it in a way that you do, only you can do, which is somehow make it funny.

I'm gonna fucking kill it.

You're gonna crush it, bro.

People are gonna be asking me to do bring them home three.

Bring them.

Bring even more of them home.

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This episode is brought to you by FX's Alien Earth, the official podcast.

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