Into the Wilde | Wildemount Wildlings Episode 2 Part 1

Tron Aries has arrived.

I would like you to meet Aries, the ultimate AI soldier.

He is biblically strong and supremely intelligent.

You think you're in control of this?

You're not.

On October 10th.

What are you?

My world is coming to destroy yours, but I can help you.

The war for our world begins in IMAX.

Tron Aries, suited PG-13.

Maybe inappropriate for children under 13.

Only in theaters, October 10th.

Get tickets now.

Going up.

Prices keep going up these days.

It feels like being on an elevator that only goes up.

Going up.

But not at Metro.

We're pushing the down button.

Going down.

We've lowered prices.

Get one line of 5G data for $40.

Period.

That's 20% lower.

And you get a free Samsung 5G phone when you bring your number.

Only at Metro.

Five-year guarantee on eligible plans, exclusion supplies.

See website for details.

Not available if that Metro with T-Mobile in the past six months.

Tax supplies.

your sausage mcmuffin with egg didn't change your receipt did the sausage mcmuffin with egg extra value meal includes a hash brown and a small coffee for just five dollars only at mcdonald's for a limited time prices and participation may vary

Hey there, Critical Role podcast listeners.

We have a special new membership service at beacon.tv where you can get early access to all new podcast episodes, including Critical Role Role for the first time ever.

Beacon members also get things like event pre-sales, merch discounts, access to a private community Discord, and new exclusive series like Critical Role Cooldown, where we riff after the show.

Think of it as our digital Critical Role land.

Head on over to beacon.tv to check it out for yourself and start a seven-day free trial.

Thank you so, so much for your support, for being a podcast listener, and for being a part of our community.

Hey there, critters.

We are so excited to share with you our brand new podcast from the world of Xandria, the Reslayer's Take.

In this audio adventure, you'll be guided through the wild continent of Asilra, home to some of the most dangerous creatures.

Here, the Slayer's Take is the most notorious monster hunting group in the realm.

But, when previously slain creatures start returning from the grave, it's up to six misfit mercenaries to band together and re-slay these supernatural threats as the re-slayers take.

So come follow along these audio escapades as the second coolest monster hunters this side of Xandria battle a growing undead army of dangerous creatures.

The party is led by a duo of Game Masters, George Primavera and Nick Williams, with the main cast including Jasmine Bular, Caroline Lux, and Jasmine Shion.

Listen to new episodes every Monday anywhere you stream podcasts, or become a beacon member and listen to the podcast two weeks early and uninterrupted by ads.

Hey there, campers!

It's Game Master Sam Regal and welcome to our new miniseries Wild Mount Wildlings.

In this three-part adventure, we're making our way to Axandria's premier sleep awake camp for aspiring adventurers and following the antics of four angsty teen campers and their camp counselors, Beauregard Lionette and Yasha Naidorin.

New episodes of Wild Mountain Wildlings air on Thursdays at 6 p.m.

Pacific on Beacon, Twitch, and YouTube with the VOD uploaded to YouTube on the following Mondays at noon.

Prefer your adventures in audio form?

Well, the podcast version arrives here on the Critical Role Podcast Network with a one-week delay from the original broadcast.

You're listening to part one of this episode right now and part two will be available this upcoming Tuesday.

If you want instant access to podcast content and an ad-free listening experience, check out Beacon and get access to the full audio version right when it airs at 6 p.m.

Pacific on Thursdays.

Plus, you can also check out our Beacon exclusive show, Critical Role Cooldown, and experience the cast's post-show reactions to each episode.

Well, that should cover it.

Now let's wild out and get this adventure started.

Hey, welcome back.

It's me, Sam Regal, and you're watching episode two of Wild Mount Wildlings.

It's so great to have you with us and we're joined by our friends at the table Ashley Johnson.

Hello.

Brennan Lee Mulligan, Levo Barrere, Eden Regal, Alex Lee, Marisha Ray and some guys.

I snuck on.

But before we go into tonight's episode, I think there are some announcements to make.

Someone took my...

There it is.

Marisha.

Yes.

Oh, it's cheek to me.

I think it's cheek to you.

You have another announcement to make.

I'm sorry.

We just announced a new two-part underwater epic with 12-sided studios called Thresher.

I'm very excited about this.

This is a fresh new show that will feature Jasper William Cartwright as our game master, as well as players Abuba Carceline.

No way.

Yeah, I know.

Mark Sherlock Humes, aka Mara, Jane Douglas, Nashir Dalal, and Jacqueline Emerson.

You can tune in to the first of this two-part miniseries on Thursday, April 24th at 7 p.m.

Pacific on Beacon, Twitch, and YouTube.

And

in addition to that,

our Chicago live show is happening right now as we speak.

Now now?

Yeah, now now.

As this is airing, we'll be in Chicago.

So we're in two places at once.

So you can stay tuned to our programming schedule on KurtRoll.com to learn when you'll be able to watch at home.

Liam, you've got something to say.

Liam!

They let me sneak into camp just to tell you that Deer Cats Katzenprinz and other Zemnian tales is available right meow.

This illustrated storybook is published with our friends at Insight Editions and was illustrated by Charlie Newt Borovsky and written by me.

Let me take a second to gush about Newt.

I know I wanted their art for this book years in advance.

This is a gorgeous book.

It contains Derkatzenprinz, Die Woltecher, and never before-seen story, Himmelschloss.

Oh, Himmelschloss.

You had me at Himmel.

This is a work of passion for me.

I'm very happy with it.

I can't wait for you all to open the pages of this book.

You can find it today, wherever books are sold, or learn more at insighteditions.com.

Cheek to you, Samuel.

Okay, the cheeks are done.

The announcements are finished.

Ashley wants to see the book.

I think we're ready to go.

So let's dive into tonight's episode of A Critical Role.

Okay, I need help next on this maze.

Like I said, our heroes are going to be be lost in a very unusual maze.

Yes, Kestrel.

Sorry, what?

For different people, the maze appears differently.

It appears differently for different people, okay?

Maybe it could be like each person's

favorite food.

Each person's favorite food.

That is very cool.

I like that idea.

If it is food, do you guys have some favorite foods that you can suggest that we can use?

I prefer pasta.

You You prefer pasta?

Okay.

That's very good.

Yes.

Pho?

Oh, specifically Q's.

It's made out of my wife's pho.

Great.

I love it.

Yes.

Alan, do you have a favorite food or dessert or something?

No.

You don't?

No, I don't.

Whenever you're going in the wrong direction, a businessman pops up out of nowhere and lectures you about how you're doing the wrong thing in your business.

I love the businessman.

The businessman is going in the show.

You're amazing.

Okay, eyes on me.

Here we go.

Dream team.

Next, our heroes might come across a swarm of smaller beasts.

These don't all have to be the same beast.

They can be a bunch of different beasts.

Yes.

What do you have, cats?

What is this?

What am I looking at?

This is...

This is a

possessed bunny.

A possessed bunny doll?

Yeah.

Okay.

And does this possessed bunny doll have a name?

Yeah.

What is it?

Half and half.

Half and half.

Does half and half have any special powers?

It can hypnotize.

It can hypnotize you?

Okay.

With its eyes?

Yeah, with its eyes.

With its eyes?

Okay, cool.

Cool, cool, cool.

Ronin, did you have a monster that you want to present?

If you come across this bat thing, it's sort of the monster, but the bat one looks more like a bat.

It's called Sonic Scream.

Sonic Scream.

You'll always come across one of these because that's the guard of a Sonic Scream.

And it's like screaming really loudly.

Yeah, they just

so loud.

Okay, I like this.

Marlow, did you have something?

A Vikan, which is...

I'm sorry?

A Vikan, which is like a Lycanthrope and a vampire mixed together.

So it's got like

bat-like ears so it can hear from like very far distances and it's got bat wings and they're they can't it can't really fly with the wings but it's got wings.

And how do you spell this?

V-Y-C-A-N.

V-Y-C-A-N.

It's a half vampire, half werewolf.

Yeah.

Okay, I love it.

Yes, Alan.

Okay, so um we'll make it much less friendly, but what about like a group of sharks with legs?

Sharks with legs, but unfriendly sharks with legs.

Yeah, this one looks kind of nice.

I don't mind a nice shark with legs.

He could just be part of the gang and he doesn't have to attack or anything.

Greta, did you have one?

Oh, a bad therapist.

And his eyes really creep you out.

A therapist is like a feelings doctor who

helps you with your feelings.

But this is amazing.

So this is a bad therapist, and what do they do to you?

His eyes really creep you out.

That's horrifying.

This is horrible.

In fields and rivers, we go exploring.

When it's boring, we wild out.

We are the wildlings, yes, the wildlings.

Critical Role is sponsored by BetterHelp.

Look, there's a difference between venting to your GM and actually talking with a licensed therapist.

That's where BetterHelp comes in with clinically trained and licensed therapists.

They've been around for over a decade, helped millions of people, and out of 1.7 million client reviews, they've got a 4.9 rating.

Now here's what I love about BetterHelp.

They help find a therapist that works for you so you can focus on your life's adventure.

You fill out a short questionnaire that helps identify your needs and preferences.

And if you aren't happy with your match, well, you can switch to a different therapist at any time.

It's fully online and you can pause your subscription whenever you need to.

With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 5 million people globally.

As the largest largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise.

Find the one with BetterHelp.

Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/slash critical role.

That's betterhelp.com/slash critical role.

Tron Aries has arrived.

I would like you to meet Aries, the ultimate AI soldier.

He is biblically strong and supremely intelligent.

You think you're in control of this?

You're not.

On October 10th.

What are you?

My world is coming to destroy yours.

But I can help you.

The war for our world begins in IMAX.

Tron Aries, rated PG-13.

Maybe inappropriate for children under 13.

Only in theaters on October 10th.

Get tickets now.

Going up.

Prices keep going up these days.

It feels like being on an elevator that only goes up.

Going up.

But not at Metro.

We're pushing the down button.

Going Going down.

We've lowered prices.

Get one line of 5G data for $40.

Period.

That's 20% lower.

And you get a free Samsung 5G phone when you bring your number.

Only at Metro.

Five-year guarantee on eligible plans, exclusions, applies.

See website for details.

Not available at Metro with T-Mobile in the past six months.

Tax supplies.

For a limited time at McDonald's, get a Big Mac extra-value meal for $8.

That means two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun, and medium fries, and a drink.

We may need to change that jingle.

Prices and participation may vary.

Attention, campers!

It's the last day of camp, and congratulations to campers who graduated to higher ranks.

Unfortunately, the Olga cabin has not earned a single merit badge the whole summer.

Counselors Bo and Yasha have been on hand to whip them into shape in just one day so they won't get kicked out.

They took part in three activities, including Pine Cone Keepaway, the Pull of Peace, and Hide hide-and-seek.

Yeza was working on potions and accidentally got counselor Yasha drunk with gray smoke.

A massive pig arrived and kidnapped counselors Bo and Yasha and is currently on the loose inside the camp and the Olgas are the only campers around to do anything about it.

Lunch today is postponed indefinitely.

Oh no.

Wild out.

End of announcements.

Yes, Bo and Yasha have been swiped by Gub Gub the flying pig.

And it's currently up to you four, Skull Crusher, I'm sorry, Skye, Kai, Padman, and Jessup to find and rescue them, which means for Ashley and Marisha, you may leave the table.

Your story is happening elsewhere.

We will check in with you later.

I can get your guys' autographs.

We believe in you.

I believe in you.

We'll do our best.

We'll do our best.

Scooshi over.

Scoochie over.

Which leaves just the four of you.

No, the peeps.

You can leave the peeps.

Leave the gun, take the peeps.

I'm scared.

Okay.

Wow, you guys have so much more room.

Wow.

Smoke and screams.

Chaos and pudding.

Not pudding.

Everything else though is true.

Fully recovered from their smoke-induced depression, Skye and Jessup have been shouting at the top of their lungs to try to find their friends.

Because Padman and Kai are off at a different part of the camp.

They're in the admin building doing God knows what.

But all those shouts did not reach their ears.

Instead, Yeza,

Veth's husband, runs out of his lab to see what all the commotion is about.

What is going on out here?

Giant

monster.

Pig is

swallowed.

And we got so tired.

We were so sad.

We were crying.

And the counselors, they're gone.

They were gone.

They're in the pig.

Oh, my God.

He starts pacing back and forth, nervously twitching his hands and fingers.

Oh, my goodness.

Insurance does not cover this.

Where are your other friends?

The other two, the other Olgas.

They were hiding and seeking, and they were seeking elsewhere.

They were seeking elsewhere.

We don't know.

We called for them, but I guess they didn't hear us.

I'll go call for them.

Just

stand here and I'll go use the String Can network to try to reach them.

Just hold on.

Oh, boy.

Oh, boy.

He runs off to make a phone call.

You guys are left there alone.

You can see on the ground the signs of the scuffle, those big...

prints of cat and chicken paws that the that GubGub the flying chicken made

and they they do go off in a direction you could try to try to find them but that right now there's currently no sign of them as you as you wait there Yeza goes and gets on the string can network which is a series of tin cans and strings that are strung all around the entire camp

and he's gonna call out for the other two Padman and Kai and you two who are at the admin building you hear a muffled sound Padman Kai,

supply shed immediately.

Padman and Kai, can you hear me?

There is a can hanging there on the admin building, but there's

he can't see you or anything like that.

So you are currently in the admin building looking at file folders.

What do you guys do?

Hold on to some of those files.

We might need them later.

If we leave the admin building with him as stealing.

No, we're just borrowing them, just for a little bit.

Great point.

Install them.

And we'll walk out after Kai will leave the admin building.

Okay, great.

And you're heading back to

towards the supply shed?

Okay, great.

Sure enough, a few moments later,

the two of them, Padman and Kai, walk up.

You are all four reunited over by the supply shed.

And now all is calm.

Are you guys alright?

What happened?

Did you see the pig chicken at all?

What?

There was a giant pig chicken.

Delicious, but what can we do about that?

What is it?

And it swallowed Yasha and Bo.

That was the most important part of the story.

What?

I know.

Is pig chicken a code word for something?

No, how big was this pig chicken?

It was enormous.

And it was 14 feet off the ground.

Off the ground?

Yeah, it's flying.

It didn't fly.

It's got wings.

We did a really bad job telling the story, but those are all the facts.

So a monster.

Yeah.

Just ate two members of the Bitey Diet.

Yeah.

Does this mean we get our badges early?

Or is the whole day cancelled?

What does this mean?

I think we have to find them, right?

I think we technically haven't even won the hide and seek because

of the pig.

Well, we're alone here at this.

There's a monster.

Have you considered that maybe they were hiding inside of the pig?

No, the pig seemed to take them by force.

It seemed pretty clear that it was a.

There's only one thing for us to do.

I'm gonna turn southeast and start running as fast as I can.

Just a way- away.

No!

Get on your own!

You were so good at all your spells earlier!

That was a literal activity!

That was literally a camp activity!

How do you know this isn't a camp activity, too?

Are you out of your mind?

You did say at the beginning that there would be surprises and fun.

What did I?

Did I say that?

I have no recollection.

Somebody said that.

Does it sound like something I'd say?

I woke up and said there's going to be surprises and fun.

Why would I anticipate that?

Guys, listen, everyone get their head on screws straight.

What?

I need to focus.

My head's screwed on extremely straight.

Somewhere southeast of here is the Bedagerie Coast, okay?

My parents' villa, we're comfortable.

It's there, locked, but I can figure out a way to get in.

If I could

throw my familiar through a plate class window and

it's mended up behind me, you don't get that reference.

You weren't there.

Archibald, unfortunately, took a fall and went through the window.

And

Archibald.

Oh, he's a mortal kid.

It was a very bad fall.

Padman, please come back.

We need your help.

You're talking...

The Bite he died, went to another dimension and fought like a god.

One of their friends is three different people, okay?

They have like powers and abilities.

The gods, they face down demons and dragons.

If a pig ate two of them, we can't beat that pig.

How many legs do that pig have?

We don't.

So many.

So many?

I actually, I couldn't count.

There were a lot of people.

More than eight?

Can I?

Can I somehow

convince Padman to stay with us and help us?

That's up to you.

If you're trying to think of details of the...

Are you trying to describe the pig?

I realized I don't remember anything about how this pig.

Okay,

roll a history check to see if you can recall details about the pig.

That is a nine

histories, which

yeah, history and I would go with Arcana maybe plus

a 13.

Yes, you get sketchy details in your memory, but yes, you recall that it had multiple legs, probably more than eight.

You didn't count them, but some were cat paws and some were chicken feet.

You remember that it was 14 feet tall, that it was flying, that it had rows of teeth.

You also remember, and both of you sort of remember this, that there was a

sort of a strange...

warping effect around it, like like light was being bent as if by heat, but it wasn't like hot or anything, or at least you didn't feel heat radiating off of it.

There was sort of like this energy that was

yeah, just sort of warping and bending light a little bit and making it making everything sort of feel like this grayish

sort of tone around it, uh, and that it hopped away.

It couldn't take off because of the weight, so it uh it hopped away into deeper into the camp.

Okay, guys,

I got this.

I walk over to Padman.

Oh, he's he's walking.

What, what is it?

Listen, buddy.

So, like,

those are the mighty nine, yeah, right?

Yeah

some big heroes that you're a fan of right, yeah, and so

if we

take this pig down and we rescue them, what does that make you

the luckiest frog on the planet?

You are the mighty ten

Wouldn't wouldn't that be right died comes from the zip I get it, I get it, yeah But the point is if we save them

You will be a legend What do you think about that?

Then we can make a card for you.

And we can make it holographic.

And with your signature on it.

That card could easily go for 20 or 30 gold pieces.

Absolutely, buddy.

So what say you?

All right.

This plan is just crazy enough to work.

That's what I like to hear.

We don't quite have a plan yet.

This inclination is just easy enough to work.

Okay,

you saw a pig with cat and chicken feet

eat two of the most powerful adventurers on the planet and rush off into the woods.

But that's interesting.

So it wasn't strong enough to fly.

You'd think something 14 feet tall at the shoulder for a quadruped.

And it doesn't have the strength to lift two humanoids.

I would say on the scale of creatures in our world, I would say the average humanoid is about medium size.

Yeah.

Maybe the wings were just for show.

I mean you and me are small, but you know, the medium size for them for sure.

Is there...

Can I make an arcana check as well?

I want to see if I've heard anything about a pig like this.

If it has any weaknesses to exploit.

Sure, sure.

Go ahead and say anything.

What?

Did it say anything?

Make any noises?

It went, it did.

Gum, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

Gum, go.

Gub, guum, gum, wow.

Gum, gum.

It's possible that that's the creature's name, although it'd be crazy to have a creature that just said it's a name.

Yeah, I don't know if that's believable.

Crazier things have happened.

That is not good.

That is a

10 archon.

Yeah, I mean, it sounds crazy.

Nothing in your

study, certainly nothing that you've learned at the camp, reminds you of such a creature.

Okay.

Can I take a look around and see if there might be tracks leading in a certain direction?

Go ahead and roll for either investigation or survival.

You're looking for tracks.

That's a 10.

Um.

A 9.

Okay.

I mean, yes, there are tracks.

It's a huge creature, but you can't discern the direction that they lead in.

There's just a bunch of them.

A bunch of them?

That's right, because they have so many legs.

And they were all sort of facing different directions on the creature.

It seems like we have two simultaneous problems.

One is locating the creature.

The other one is how the heck we get our camp counselors out of its stomach if we actually find the dang thing.

I'm going to look up to the top of the curfew creature tower.

Yes.

I'm going to go.

You know, I've never actually seen Vishi because I have to go to bed super early.

But theoretically,

do we know when this creature's curfew is and if it would be in trouble for being out past its own curfew?

Or would we get in trouble for being out past curfew?

Yeah, I wonder if there's some way to convince the creature that we are absconding with this Gubgub

and that it would come searching after Gubgub to find us.

Michi.

Yes, Michi, the Michi.

Michi, yeah.

That's true.

So, should we go talk to Michi?

Yeah, we have to be slick, though.

We have to use the

you have to speak to it in a way where after you're done talking, it does what you want it to.

I know what this call is.

I pull out my disguise kit and I put my creative sources on.

Amazing.

Oh my god, is there that guy?

I walk up to, I want to go to the creature tower.

Okay, so you guys are all going to together go over to Mishi?

Okay, so Mishi's tower is just a few hundred feet away.

It is a wooden lookout tower on big stilts, and up above it is that familiar blue and purple furry creature looking down at you.

It's Mishi the curfew creature.

Would you like to try to get its attention or...

So first, I want to discuss amongst you guys, what exactly is the plan here?

Are we trying to get info to see if Mishi maybe saw the creature and where it was going?

Or are we just trying to make it so that we can continue our adventures past curfew?

So, I'm definitely hustling on the camp counselor's got eaten problem.

Okay,

like, I agree, it would be sick to stay uploaded.

Don't get me wrong, that would be rad as hell.

But I think for me, that just thinking, look, if we found the tracks and we chase this creature down, it's gonna eat us.

Like, it's gonna eat us.

It's gonna eat us.

So, we have to be smart.

We have to do something.

We either have to get some of the only two things that occur to me are Yez's potions and getting some kind of like Ipacac or something that can make this thing barf.

But what?

That's a great idea.

Yeah.

Get something that can make it throw up those adventurers.

Get an antidote.

Why did they take that potion that made them so less powerful?

Just like relax.

We're kids.

Just don't hit us literally as hard as you can.

I do have concerns about if we do try to make the creature, if we try to make the gub gub throw up, how toxic that might be, what we might be exposed to,

that might not.

Sure.

That's a good point.

Do any of us have any kind of healing potion or spell?

Okay, that could come in handy.

I want to turn to Mishi and initiate a conversation.

She's up the tower, so you just gotta flag her down or make some noise or something.

Hey!

And

sure enough, she sticks her head over the top of the tower, over the edge, and she says to you,

Hello, Dainty Feet.

How can I help you?

It's three hours and 30 minutes before curfew, by the way.

I put on a voice and go, Dainty Feet, who's that?

Oh.

I'm I'm sorry, I'm Georb with the Counselors League of Counselors.

Oh, you're a counselor?

I am, yes.

Oh, where's your counselor uniform?

Uh, left it in the wash today.

Go ahead.

You can expect to be called here for an emergency, which this is what that is.

Go ahead and roll a persuade deception check.

Deception check.

That is uh.

Oh, okay.

Not terrible, not terrible.

That is a 14.

Okay, pretty good, pretty good.

She cocks her head at you and looks you up and down,

and with a smile says to you, Well, I know that that's not true, but I can't fault you for trying.

Other campers have tried many, many more deceptions on me, but you see, my job is to watch you, and I've seen you this entire time.

I pull off my bottom mustache.

Oh my god, it's only my top mustache.

Oh, wait,

my top is tomorrow.

I don't mean it.

You know, it was just a test.

It's very, you know,

it's customary.

No, no.

I'm actually Jor Bond from the Counselors League.

Can I roll one more?

Go ahead.

Go ahead.

Oh, no.

It's even worse.

Oh, I.

Is your friend all right?

He seems to be confused as to the market.

I take off my top mustache.

I'm out of ideas.

I applaud your efforts, but um I've I've it's not my first day on the job.

If I'm not mistaken, uh my friend Patman,

you want to try to convince the the pig creature that it's out past its curfew?

Well, are you guys talking about the pig creature?

You know of Gubgub the pig creature.

Oh, I mean I saw it.

I see everything.

Okay, so we knew that.

Do you where did it go?

Do you happen to know where it went?

There's two things I believe in more than anything.

One is that curfew must be observed.

And the other is everyone's right to privacy.

I'm sorry, I can't reveal the whereabouts of Pig Creature.

Is it the...

So I have a question about sort of your role at camp.

You are...

Ostensibly, curfew is a rule that exists to promote the safety and well-being of the camp.

So would you not say that the higher priority order is the safety and well-being of camp?

I'm sure it is the higher priority for those that own and run the camp.

I'm neither.

I only care about curfew.

Okay.

All right.

Well, I got one more idea.

I got one more idea.

Now that I'm picking my head up from making my card game, I have to say I have a lot of notes for how this camp works.

I have a lot of thoughts that I will be submitting and writing at the end of the day.

It was quite amusing to watch the creature bounce and hop across the camp.

Padman, I want you to look through your files that we took from admin and see if there's any dirt on this michi there.

Okay, I'll take a look.

We stole files from admin, but I guess you don't give a shit about that either.

No, it sounds great.

Which file?

You definitely took files about yourself and about Kai, correct?

And I think Jessup and

Skye as well.

Do you think that you grabbed something about Mishi as well?

Sure.

I'll roll forward to the next one.

All right, great.

Yes, let's see if you did.

Go ahead and roll a, I don't know,

a history?

No.

Boy.

My investigation, history, and Arcana are all the same.

Great.

Investigation then.

It's only a 10.

You definitely grabbed files about yourself and about Kai and maybe the ladies, but there's nothing.

However, I will say, everybody rolled just an insight check or a history check about you've had interactions with Mishi before.

This is not your first date in Michigan.

16.

Okay.

Is it insight or history?

Can we pick?

You can do.

You can pick.

Okay, then seven.

16.

12.

Okay.

You guys have have 16s over here.

Yeah, you both know that

Mishi is very good at her job.

She makes sure that everyone gets home by curfew.

You also know that

she has some vices.

She's greedy because she's not paid by the camp, so she gets money wherever she can.

And she's also, she's a little bit vain.

She stays up there most of the day with a mirror, just sort of looking at herself and combing things out of her hair.

But that's sort of all you know about her

or just her sort of personality quirks.

But she definitely knows where these folks went.

Just doesn't want to give up the info.

I put my hand on Mishi's shoulder and I said...

Mishi's up in the tower.

You want to try to climb up there to do it?

Yeah, I'm going to climb up there to do it.

Okay, great.

Sure enough, easy enough.

You climb up there.

Hello.

Can I put my hand on your shoulder?

I don't see why not.

Okay, I'm gonna put my hand on your shoulder, alright?

That's nice.

No, Mishi,

here's the deal.

Two of the Mighty Nine just got taken captive.

I know, I saw.

Flying

creature.

You see that little frog guy down there?

See him?

Yes, I do.

He has a bright future ahead of him.

He has this incredible card game.

He's developing right now.

It's awesome.

I've seen all the art.

The art is amazing, by the way.

Is it like is it a betting game?

No, no, no, no.

It's it's like um it's like a it's tactical

tactical card game.

Are some of the cards like energy cards that fuel spells and abilities or is it uh like uh yes, yes, we have all that

precisely not to get into the details, but here's the deal, right?

Now

once he saves and rescues those two camp counselors, I'm pretty sure they're gonna reward us with an autograph on these limited edition cards.

Wow.

And once that happens, you'll be the first one, if you decide to help us, that gets a hold of one of these cards.

So here's my deal to you, right?

How much do you think they're worth?

Oh, easily with the signatures on them, and once we get it holographic,

easily, I don't know, anywhere from two to five thousand gold coins.

Whoa!

Insanely rare collector's item, right?

I'll sweeten the pot for you.

Hmm.

I can make some calls and get you your own card.

Wow.

Yes.

So you're offering me a rare card that doesn't exist yet.

Not yet, but it will.

For a game that doesn't exist.

Not yet, but it will.

And you're assigning it a value that you're just basing on arbitrary guesses?

No.

We have a focus group and a test group, and we've run the numbers.

Huh?

Seems to be up there.

Why don't you roll a deception check?

19.

oh okay oh a focus group all right well that's oh wait wait hold on plus six

that is changes 25 25.

well i would need to see one of these cards

uh what sort of mana are you most interested in uh mana is that the energy that fuels the moves in this we're workshopping other things we had to deal with energy spell spell fuel is another term that feels a little clitical to me but just give her one of them

can i use a minor minor illusion to make one one of these cards appear you sure can what do you want it to look like I want it to look like exactly the most valuable card that he was just describing okay okay with hologram with a hologram feature on it with hologram feature um uh I think uh minor illusion has a 30-foot range so you could make it appear up near her

if you if you care to all right um what is your spell DC let's see if she can see through the illusion.

Hold on, I can look for you because I know you're new to this.

Your spell, DC, is 13, so she has to roll to see if she believes that this card exists.

So this card pops up in front of her.

Are you presenting it to her?

Yeah, I flick it out like this.

Oh, oh, there it is.

She inspects it.

Okay.

Wow.

Can I see the back of it, please?

Yeah.

And so you're acting like you're holding the card?

Uh-huh.

Okay.

So you're moving your minor illusion with his hand to make it seem like it's a physical thing.

I'm doing my little monocle.

Okay, alright, just roll a performance check to see if the illusion is convincing enough.

11 plus what?

Performance down.

Performance plus 3.

Oh, that's very good.

Alright, the illusion is maintaining.

It looks like you're actually holding this thing.

Well, I mean, if they're already in production...

I suppose I...

I suppose I could.

Alright, I'll take the card.

Give it to me.

Sorry, but this is a prototype.

It's very valuable right now, and we need to hang on to it for

mass reproduction.

So you will get your fair share once everything is done.

Plus, listen to this.

Listen to this.

Remember the offer where I said that we can get you your own card?

Think of this.

That means that you have the rights to sign autographs.

Therefore, you're making passive income.

Well, it's not really passive, but you you know, you're making steady income from the card.

So if I sign an autograph on the card,

someone's going to sell these or distribute them for me?

How does this work?

Who knows what they'll do with it, but the

power they will pay you

and they can either keep it for themselves or sell it online.

Or I mean via the trade network.

You mean

various merchant guilds who are connected via a web of merchant guilds.

Listen, also, time is of the essence because if you're not going to be able to do that,

what are you saying?

Time is of the essence because if they die, that card becomes less valuable.

That's right.

So, if you give us that information, we can find them.

And that card, they will

sign it.

They need to be able to sign it.

Won't be able to sign it for you.

This sounds so convincing, and yet...

A bit far-fetched.

Every great idea of this generation is far-fetched.

I think that Mishi clearly doesn't want to work with this, which is a shame because I had actually just finished the prototype of Mishi's card.

I'm sorry, what was that?

Well,

we needed the most powerful card in the game, so we...

I remember there were four APIs.

Oh, he's very handsome.

You have the prototype, right?

I do.

I have the prototype.

I want to give a help action on a performance check.

Okay, go ahead.

Are you going to do another minor illusion?

Okay, so that card has disappeared.

A new card.

Please describe this card that is now appearing before Mishi.

It is Mishi 6.0.

Mishi is the most handsome or the most beautiful version of herself.

Her hair is flowing.

She's holographic.

She looks like...

It's gold foil.

And it's gold foil.

She looks like the ideal version of herself.

Like she's never looked more beautiful in her life before.

All right, roller performance check with advantage since you've got help with Padman over here.

10.

17.

Plus 3 is dirty 20.

You see

the ruffles of her fur sort of go up for a second as if she suddenly got goosebumps.

Oh my goodness gracious.

It's my very own card.

Well, since you don't want to do it, I guess we'll just have to rip this up.

I can reconsider.

I just wanted to see how good quality these cards were.

And if you say that there's an elegant rule set that goes with them.

It's deeply intuitive.

Yes, complicated enough for the people who love crunching numbers.

Submit an alert a lifetime to bastard.

But also easy enough to pick up on your first try.

Yeah, it's actually a game that's great for everybody, and everybody should buy it.

It leaves no one out.

100% barking appeal.

And people who don't even like these cards are going to want to buy the most beautiful cards for aesthetic purposes because they're like works of art.

I heard some people just buy them for their coffee table to be a conversationalist.

And what is one last question, I swear.

What is the game called?

We're workshop in the name right now.

So it's either going to be called

Mysteria Battle Cards of Wildbout.

Pretty good.

Or Boker.

Hmm.

I've never heard of either.

Listen, I believe in the right to privacy.

I can't tell you where they went, but

they didn't go that way to the gross.

They didn't go that way to the trail.

They didn't go that way to the counselor's cabins.

So I guess that leaves, and she coyily nods in the direction of the campers' cabins.

But remember, you didn't hear it from me.

We will protect your identity from anyone who would be mad that you have this this fucking boss.

Thank you so much, Mishi.

Oh, you're welcome.

Remember, curfews in three hours and 15 minutes.

You gotta.

Yes, thank you.

Does that curfew apply to just campers or does it apply to everybody?

Like monsters, for example?

Oh, everyone at the camp needs to obey the same curfew.

Fascinating.

Fascinating.

Keep that in the back of your mind.

Right.

Alright, let's go to these campers' cabins.

And you do.

You follow the path towards the campers' cabins.

You know them very well.

And as you walk that direction, searching for Bo and Yasha, now would be a good time to check in on Bo and Yasha.

So we're going to cut away to them right now.

Prices keep going up these days.

It feels like being on an elevator that only goes up.

Going up.

But not at Metro.

We're pushing the down button.

Going down.

We've lowered prices.

Get one line of 5G data for $40.

Period.

That's 20% lower.

And you get a free Samsung 5G phone when you bring your number.

Only at Metro.

Five-year guarantee on eligible plans, exclusion supplies.

See website for details.

Not available if that Metro with T-Mobile in the past six months.

Tax supplies.

Oh no.

What is happening?

Why are we tired?

Thank you, Sam.

Actually, kind of got me.

Bo,

Yasha.

Being carried away in the mouth of a giant pork creature did not harm you, at least not physically.

It did harm your pride, being two women

members of the Mighty Nine and being defeated so easily by a giant piggy bank

was a bit shameful, but you don't have to keep rubbing.

Yeah, you don't have to.

We got it.

Your physical bodies were not harmed.

However, hi.

Yeah.

Hi.

Hi.

However,

something happened to you.

You both were hypnotized in a way.

You both blacked out.

I don't know if it was the rocking motion of this animal sort of carrying you around in the darkness or if there was some sort of tranquilizing agent in its poisonous saliva, but

you both passed.

It was very warm in there.

Yeah, it was very warm.

It was like a womb again.

It really was.

Being in the womb was kind of cozy.

But now you've woken up

like we are in a very dimly lit room.

You can't really make out the features of the room.

Your eyes are still adjusting and you're waking up.

You're groggy.

Your vision is a little bit blurry.

I can't see.

Yep, that's what I just said.

Okay.

Because I'm not feeling it out.

But you've woken up tied to two chairs and

tied to each other with some sort of chain.

No, not a chain, a rope, but it's an unusual rope.

It's not of a material that you're familiar with.

You're still sort of getting your bearings.

What is this material?

What is this?

It's

so strange.

Why don't you roll a perception check to find out?

Okay.

You gotta drop it down a little.

Thank you.

When you move, I'm gonna be.

It's bad.

I thought my perception is a plus six or something.

I can't really do this that well.

Let me move this out of the way.

Anthony.

Okay, yeah,

it's a strange material that you can't quite understand, but you know, you do get the sense that it is animal in nature.

In fact, this might be a finely woven rope of cat fur, which is very unusual.

Hutch?

Oh, no.

No.

I'm allergic.

Clean up.

I'm sorry.

Oh, this is a worse day.

What would you like to do?

Okay.

Okay.

I have a lot of questions.

I feel like there's a lot to unpack here.

Yes, which is why I don't understand how this ended up happening.

How did this happen?

Do

pigs have oppulsible thumbs?

Totally and chicken feet?

And chicken feet?

How did we sleep in there and then we woke up and we were tied to this chair?

Like, did a pig do it?

But also, you were drunk!

I was not...

That wasn't what happened.

Doom said.

And there was like a poof of smoke, and

I got a little

felt a little drunk.

Okay.

But I don't know why.

We don't need to argue about this right now.

No, no, no, no.

We need to work together as a a team, babe.

Look,

how are you feeling?

You still feel like that fucking potion is still like.

Why did we do that?

Why did we do that?

I've only punched like

two, maybe three kids in the past.

Yeah, maybe three.

And that's not a lot of them.

You could have punched so many more kids if you didn't.

And they don't trust me.

You chose it.

They don't trust me to not punch kids.

This is unreal.

Well,

I'm going to try.

I'm going to try to like

get my muscles really, really str.

I'm gonna try to

flex your rippling, awesome muscles.

Yes.

The ropes stretch and poof!

An explosion of some sort of mist comes out

of the ropes themselves.

Oh, no, what?

They flash with a shimmer of light, and a mist shoots out of them.

Please roll a charisma-saving thread.

What?

With disadvantage, you, because you're still drunk.

Oh, no!

I don't know if it's gonna be

worse than that?

Just

than you?

Come on, Bodai.

What is it?

Come on.

Bed!

Bed!

Why is it emitting a...

It's poofing.

Why is it putting it?

It's getting out of the way.

And the mist flies into your nostrils.

It is some sort of enchanted cat dander.

And you are both instantly poisoned by it.

You know how cats mark their territory?

Yes.

And isn't it like cats like their pee or their poo.

Yeah, they get like a little it like squirts.

It squirts and is that what this is?

It gets in your nose and then like you become like crazy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's not peer-poo.

It's cat dander.

I think this is.

Yeah, not even the dander.

The dander is what makes it.

Tacto, tacto plus.

Tacto yes, this is

100% not peer-poo.

It is cat dander, but it is mystical and you both suffer now the poisoned effect.

So all roles will be made at disadvantage.

And because your eyes are puffy, you're itchy, you're not feeling comfortable, you feel like you're being hugged by an uncomfortable hug, and

your strength rolls will be at negative five.

What?

Why?

I wasn't sure

again what?

You guys are mighty legendary heroes.

You've suffered traps like this before.

And we're becoming undone by cat dander.

Never wanted to be a cat lady.

Yet, you know that magic like this doesn't last forever.

You can probably wait out the effects, but it might take a while.

And until then, I'll leave you to it.

Well, what are we supposed to do now?

I don't know.

This is every minute that goes by.

We're leaving the kids unattended.

What if there's other creatures out there that

they get eaten or

killed and it's on our watch?

That is...

There is a non-zero chance.

That is very actually likely to happen.

We're going to get in so much trouble.

And they're good kids.

Yeah, I really actually kind of like them.

I do too for like

four hours, but I actually really like them.

Me too.

I was a little nervous at first, but but you know, like they're all so interesting and different.

I was afraid they were gonna smell weird.

Yeah, I was a little afraid.

They kind of do.

You know how kids have like they do.

But it's not bad.

It's not bad.

Kids have like a smell, you know?

They have a dander too.

They do have a dander.

There's kid dander, and now there's...

we're dealing with cat dander.

The kids feel like red socks all the time, yeah.

You know, it's like they're they're they're

we've got sky

who's like

she's so she's buff as fuck.

I know, I really wish she would like lean into

lean into it, but also like wants to practice magic, which I, you know, I can't fault her for

you know broadening her horizons.

I love it.

Like, if I could do magic, I would be so happy.

Yeah, you can do a little magic.

Yeah, I can do a little

bit of wings.

Yeah,

yeah, I mean, I sometimes...

I sometimes like secretly wish that I could

cast something.

Yeah.

Like a...

Like.

Something...

Like a fireball coming out of my hand.

I mean, I guess.

I guess we can talk to Caleb.

I guess we could talk to Caleb.

He's not busy.

Oh, Caleb, it was part of the reason.

Fucking Caleb.

Oh.

I swear to God.

Yeah, okay, wait.

I got an idea.

What if...

What if we...

This hurts my pride.

What if we yell for help?

I mean, I don't hate it.

Okay.

It's an option.

I mean, maybe the kids are close by or something.

They're close by.

They gotta rescue us.

Like, this is a test, right?

They gotta do it.

They gotta do it.

Yeah, maybe this is a test.

Maybe this is set up.

Okay.

Help!

Help!

Hey!

Beth!

Get kids!

Guy!

Children!

Penbury!

As you guys yell,

as you guys yell and struggle futilely,

we will fly back to the world of Sky, Kai, Jessup, and Padman and check in on how they're doing.

Get me out of here!

Yay!

Kids!

And we're back with the Olgas.

You four round a bend and are on your way to the campers' cabins and are met with a jaw-dropping sight.

It's the campers' cabins, you know them well.

There's Rooster's Roost where the bards bunk, Lion Lodge for warriors, fighters, and paladins, the pig pen for rangers and their beast companions, compass keep, unicorn haven, the fox hole, the nest up the boughs of a tree, but all of these cabins are covered in the most amazing food you've ever seen.

Stairs and bridges of stacked stakes lead to pasta pathways and blueberry pie cobblestones underfoot.

There's a fountain of pho in the courtyard in the middle.

The best way to describe this is a maze of yums.

In fact, I would love to paint a picture for you, but strangely, you all see a slightly different set of meals.

Kai, what is your favorite food?

A big steak, a big old steak.

Yes, and so most of the cabins you see are just covered in red meat.

Big old slabs of kobe beef and beautiful tea bones and all kinds of

hamburger meat sort of dripping down the sides of the walls.

Sky.

Shepherd's pie.

Shepherd's pie.

It's the most beautiful shepherd's pie you've ever seen.

There's an archway made out of it with a big hole in the middle with the dripping peas and carrots sort of coming through it.

Sounds disgusting.

And also, I'm hungry.

Jessup, what do you see?

I love kimchi for the probiotics.

Or the pungent aroma of kimchi is in the air,

tangy and zesty, and yes, indeed, there's windows made of very thinly sliced kimchi that you can sort of see through in sort of a disgusting, beautiful way.

Padman, do you have a favorite food?

Shoe fly pie.

Shoe fly pie?

I'm unaware what that is.

What is that?

Shoe fly pie in the real world is made of molasses.

But

Xandria, it's made with real flies.

And the flies are buzzing.

There seems to be, well, actually everybody roll a sort of a perception chapter to just see what you see.

23.

Oh my god.

It's a one, so I'm gonna roll again.

God, I hate that because

I have no morals.

What you just said perception?

Yes.

10.

Okay.

Between the group, you all sort of get a sense for what this place is.

Everything about the place seems off.

The smells don't match up to the sights you're seeing.

Beef smells like matcha tea.

Candy smells like dog food.

But you do see a sort of a big main gateway, which is an archway made out of pepperoni pizza.

But

you,

whoever rolled above a 15, also noticed that the entire maze shimmers with a faint warping.

Again, that sort of strange light bending effect as if as if being viewed through heat but there is a

an archway that sort of leads into it and that's all you see

I'm gonna look around.

Have I ever seen this much food at camp before?

No, no, never.

I mean there is definitely healthy portions of breakfast and lunch and dinner at the gross.

Phyllis, the chef, makes a fine, fine, sloppy joe, but never this much.

I'm going to look and see like beautiful molasses filled with deep-fried flies

oozing out of a giant slice of pie and go,

that's why Bob's special recipe.

She would never make time to copier.

This is fake.

This is not real.

This is illusory.

We are the victims of an illusion.

Oh, I get it now.

For sure it's an illusion.

The four of you are smart enough to know that this isn't real,

but it sure looks real and something or someone or some effect made this.

And it seems to be surrounding the entire campers' cabins.

I think we have to check it out.

Can I go up

and touch it at least?

Sure, you go up and touch it.

The food that you liked again was

Shepherd's pie.

Yes, it feels and looks like Shepherd's pie.

Be careful, don't eat it.

It might be dangerous.

I was just gonna say, try to bite.

If anyone will, it should be me.

Because I have a terrific constitution.

I think if anyone will...

Well, that's interesting, because eating it probably won't have a biological effect if it's illusory, but it might have a mental one.

I have a terrible constitution.

It definitely shouldn't be me.

Well, I'm literally immune to poison.

And

you are very hungry.

You're going to taste.

Yeah, I'll taste it.

Okay.

Let us see what happens.

You taste

something very wonderful.

Roll a D4 if you can.

Three.

You

instantly get a bite of your mom's shufi pie in your mouth.

It's delicious.

You gain three temporary hit points.

The illusion is perfect.

Now roll a wisdom saving throw.

Three temporary hit points.

Not great.

That is going to be on a wisdom save.

That's going to be an eight.

Okay.

You had to beat a 10, you didn't.

But because you gained three temporary hit points, you actually had to beat a 13.

So

you did fail.

All of a sudden, you're overcome with that feeling of homesickness, of tasting your mother's cooking.

You got to go in there, and you've got to just taste more.

Home is in there.

You got to go in.

I'll take a bite and I'll be like, Bob, and I'll walk in the door.

You go inside.

There are tunnels made of this stuff going right and left.

In fact, you walk about 10 feet in, and there's a branch, right or left.

You guys can do whatever you want as well.

You can try to stop him, or you can just watch him go in.

No, this is obviously going to hurt you more.

What?

It's delicious pie.

It made me feel incredible.

Too much of a good thing.

It's not that good.

I've had one bite, Kai.

There's too much here.

I know you're going to have more than one bite.

Are we all aware that he's taken damage from eating it?

He hasn't taken damage.

He actually feels better now.

You guys got to eat your Bob's food.

I don't know.

I have a bad feeling about this.

No!

Listen, I took one bite and I realized we don't have to

do what we were doing before.

We just have to run into as many tunnels as we can.

How many tunnels are there in front of us right now?

I mean,

it looks like a complicated, almost like a treehouse, like a Robinson Caruso treehouse of different branching pathways that go up and down.

Brennan, Padman,

you do recall what you were trying to find, which was this pig creature.

And you hear faintly down one of the halls, go, go, go, go, go.

I hear the gum gob!

Gub, gob, go, go.

It's down there.

Maybe it's got my bomb.

And I'm going to start running.

Okay.

It might be another illusion.

So you're gone.

You're running down the...

Which way did you go, left or right?

I assume I heard it down the left.

Yes.

Go down the left.

Okay, so you're off down the left.

What are you guys going to do?

You guys made me take the right.

I'm going to go see if this guy's okay.

You're going to go right?

I'm going to go left.

Oh, you're going to go left.

Okay.

Wait, and just to be clear, so he feels better, but he took hit points.

So he took temporary hit points, which means he's actually got more hit points now than when he started.

So he's doing better.

Oh, okay.

Yes, he's doing better.

He's feeling right.

We should all eat the

hitting.

Oh, I don't know.

That's up to you.

I'm just

risky, but I'm not touching that thing.

You see, my eyes get really big.

Everyone, do it too.

Do it too.

Alright, yeah, I think there must be something

fishy about that.

Padman convinced me to eat mushrooms once.

Not a good time, so I'm not doing this again.

That's the only way to build a beauty.

I don't want to do that.

You know what?

I've been really scared, and I've been really nervous, and

that's held me back.

And so, you know what?

I'm going to take a chance.

And I'm going to eat some of that camp.

You're going in.

Because it also looks really good.

Okay, you take a handful bite and roll a d4.

That's the triangle looking one.

How do I tell what three?

That's the one on the three.

You add three temporary extra hit points to your total.

Now roll a wisdom save.

That's

not great.

Five plus two or seven.

Yeah, something about that left passageway is calling to you.

You have to go.

You have to go right now.

I have to go.

I have to go.

So you've just watched two of your friends dart down this down this hallway.

Are you going to follow or are you going to do something else?

I still feel pretty full from that jerky before, so but I definitely think we should follow them and see

if they found anything down there.

I mean, yeah, I guess so.

But I'm not eating that.

Let's just go after them.

Okay, what happens?

You tear in, you're both gonna go in after them yes all right you follow down uh the hallway um

uh you can hear their their footsteps up ahead you're you're running down the uh the hall to meet them um

how do i want to do this uh okay for all of you uh you you rejoin each other uh at another one of these um

splits um

one hallway goes right one hallway goes left someone decide which way way you guys are going to go.

Can I make

what would it be?

Would it be insight or investigation?

If it's investigation, what are you looking for?

And if it's insight, what are you doing?

I'm trying to hear if I can catch any more gub go's okay great.

Perception check.

13.

You do hear a faint gub gob gu-ub gob gub down the right path.

Well,

should we go after it?

Dealing with the music.

Can I make the same perception check?

Sure, go ahead.

Same thing.

13.

Also down the same path, yes.

All right, here we go.

All right, you guys go.

Everybody roll a dexterity saving throw.

The floor falls out from under you.

Dexterity.

Where's that one?

Okay.

So I got a 21.

Amazing.

That's great.

A 14.

Great.

I got a.

I got a 10.

Okay.

So the two of you

are friends who have taken a bite of the forbidden fruit

fall.

You find yourself suddenly falling

and you land with a thud in a pit about 15 feet down below.

The two of you manage to avoid this trapdoor that has just opened up from under them.

You're still up top in the tunnel.

This is my sick whip.

Yes, in fact, Skye was about to fall, but you were so deft that you grabbed Skye and pulled her back just at the last minute.

You guys are at the bottom of a pit.

The walls are smooth.

There's no rope or ladder, only darkness and silence.

You guys okay down there?

What happened?

No.

Are you hurt?

Do you see anything?

Oh, there's no go-go down here.

I'm okay.

Do you need to help get a gouch?

Um, my god, the walls feel like they're pretty, uh, like they're closing in a little bit.

Closing in.

I can hear that my friend is starting to get panicked.

Of course.

And so I use my marvelous pigments to

draw a painting of a rope.

Okay.

And I'm going to lower it down for her.

Okay, that's going to take you a second to do.

So as you start to paint with these

pigments, you're trying to paint the image of a rope.

Amazing.

That's going to to take you just a second.

And while it's happening, for the two of you, a flash of bright gray light temporarily

blinds you.

Please roll an intelligence saving throw.

What's going on?

Oh, this is so weird.

10.

Okay.

And savings are right here.

17.

That's really great.

For you, Padman,

this light that temporarily blinds you, it doesn't last long,

but for a moment, the world around you goes goes blurry, loses a bit of its color.

And when your eyes readjust to the new visuals, you find yourself in a memory,

a flashback.

Oh no.

This is a pivotal moment in your life, a moment of realization, or decision, or regret.

It could be when you were very young, it could be at the camp.

But it was a pivotal moment in Jessup, not in Jessup's life, in

Padman's life.

Can you describe to me what this moment was?

Um,

there was a moment

prior

to

Padman's dad

is not comfortable.

He's filthy fucking rich

and is a merchant and a sailor.

And there was a moment.

When I was very little

when I first started coming to the camp, and I overheard a conversation between my mom and my dad

about splitting the summer,

because I said that I didn't want to go to camp for the whole summer, because now that I was old enough to go to camp, I'd also be old enough to work on my dad's ship.

And I overheard my dad talking to my mom about finding a way for me to not go

because he thought I'd be a liability.

And so the next morning I said that I'd changed my mind and I wanted to go to camp for the whole summer.

This memory floods back so realistically, it's like you were there reliving it, reliving all the emotions of it,

and it distracts you.

It distracts you so much that you don't see the four small pipes open on the side of the pit and molten lava start to slowly bubble out of the pipes.

Pooling around your feet.

You resisted the

flash of light

and so this effect does not affect you.

So you definitely see that there is lava spilling out around your feet right now.

You have a few seconds to react and you see your friend Padman here sort of staring into the wall, lost in thought, unable to sort of move or do anything.

You're still painting.

It's going to maybe take you another few seconds.

What's What's everybody doing?

Why are you painting?

I have a rope in my bag.

I take my rope off.

And I'm going to toss my rope down.

Great.

And I yell out, Jessup, catch.

My

clumsy hands grab onto it.

And yes, sure enough, you take hold of it.

You've got it.

What would you like to do?

I...

Am I strong enough to grab him?

Oh boy.

I mean, you're a medium creature or a small?

You're a small creature,

Um, but you're not very strong, are you, uh, Jessup?

Let me look at your strength.

Negative one to strength.

Uh, this is gonna be a tough lift, but you can try because you gotta pull.

Just pulling yourself is hard enough.

Now you're gonna have to pull another dude.

Um, let's see if you can do it.

Uh, let's roll for strength and see if you can carry both of your

guys up the rope.

14.

14.

Not quite great.

Just shy.

You do start to make it up a little bit, but it's a really hard pull because of his weight, the extra weight.

He's still down there.

The lava is getting closer.

In fact, I would say it's licking at Cadman's feet, and Padman is going to take one point of damage.

Do I snap out of my reverie?

You can roll to see if you do.

Go ahead.

This is an intelligence age.

12.

Still not good enough, I'm so sorry.

Can I snap him out of his reverie?

How would you like to do that?

Question, if I do that,

would he be able to possibly freeze himself?

If he's out of his trance, why not?

I

want to try to send a firebolt not at him, but next to him.

Amazing.

Okay, great.

You're going to shoot fire at the lava?

Great, let's do it.

First, flip a coin to see if you can get your wizard act together.

Come on, come on.

It's heads.

Okay, so a firebolt bolt indeed originates from your hand, face, feet.

Yeah,

I swirl it, and I say, I.

I swirl it.

I swirl it.

I do a swirling motion, and I say the words as I remember them.

I'm a bit stressed, but they do come to me.

Okay, great.

The firebolt flashes right in front of your face.

It's a bright light, and go ahead and roll again to see if if you can break out of this reverie.

That's an eight.

Still not there.

I wonder, is there a way in which I can use my panic,

my wild magic panic, possibly in my favor

by seeing if I can get a spell, by panicking, and seeing if I can get a spell that could possibly help us?

Okay, you're just gonna cast a spell and hope that it's random?

Great.

I love it.

Go ahead and first roll your D6.

I'd say you're at level two of of panic now, unless you think that you're even more.

I'm pretty panicked right now.

Yeah, I'm level two.

Level two sounds good.

Okay, so roll a D6 and see if you

is the normal one.

Right.

And see what tell me what you land on.

Six.

Okay, your spell works.

So what spell were you casting?

I have no spell that helps us here.

No.

It did not work.

I am, I I guess,

yes, charmed person.

Or sorcerer.

Can I sorcerer's burst to like blow a hole in the thing that we're

sure?

So it's like you're at the bottom of a well.

It's round, and there's some pipes sticking out that lava is bubbling through.

So you could try to blast the pipes so that they would stop or something.

You don't really know what's on the other side of this.

I can't try and blast it so that a wall breaks down.

So I see what's on the other side.

Go ahead and fire away.

Roll to hit, I guess.

Usually, when lava is coming from somewhere, there's more lava behind you.

I don't know, but we need to

11

plus, I think, three, right here.

Sure, that hits, and then just roll for damage, I suppose.

That's a D8 to see how much damage you cause to the wall.

Right there, you got it.

Two.

Okay, and you're aiming at just the wall.

Uh,

yep.

Okay, it's a pretty solid wall.

Uh, your uh your sorceress burst hits into the side and sort of ricochets around all over the place, causing cracks and stuff to the wall.

It doesn't cause it a whole bunch of damage, but it's so loud and startling that once again you get to roll an intelligence saving.

This is the one.

This is the one.

You got this.

Nope, nine.

Oh, no.

You take another

two points of damage.

I'm out of temp HP.

Okay.

Surely to mercy, my rope is ready by now and I can lower myself down to ground.

Your rope is 100% ready.

You guys watch as, well, you watch as her paint solidifies and becomes a solid rope

made by the finest, what's a rope maker called?

A luthier.

Thank you.

I made that up.

A luthier is a violin, a violin maker.

Is that right?

Yes, it's a Mercer.

What did did they make?

Oh, it's wool, right?

Okay.

Anyway, your rope is awesome.

You tie it off against.

You tie it off against Kai.

All right.

And you slide yourself down.

Look at the other rope in my hand in this one.

Hold them both.

Okay.

You slide down.

You are in the pit.

What do you want to do?

I want to try to use my muscles to grab the scruff of his neck.

Yes, you are.

You're channeling your inner

barbarian instincts to sort of grab him and use your strength to pull him up.

Yeah.

You're not going into a rage.

No, certainly not.

Certainly not.

Okay, so this will just be a clean strength roll.

Go ahead.

A Mercer is a dealer in textile fabrics.

Thank you.

I knew it.

I knew it was something.

It's only a five.

If only you had been raging.

And

for strength, that's a plus two, it's a seven.

You can't quite get him, but maybe together you could on the next round.

But for right now,

you're gonna take three points of lava damage.

And the lava is pooling up higher and higher.

Oh, no.

So what is the situation?

We have three people.

I'm holding two ropes and three people down there.

I'm really panicking again.

I'm really wondering if I maybe I try and cast another spell.

Go for it.

What spell are you trying to cast?

I'm trying to cast

perhaps an infestation that

a bunch of birds come from below and lift us up.

Sure, yeah.

Why not?

Go ahead and roll your D6.

I'd say you're at a three stress at this point.

Well, three does something different.

Okay, then we'll just say two.

Two.

Okay, your spell does not work.

Instead, your nervousness makes it fire off in a crazy way.

Roll a D100 and tell me what you get.

Oh my god, does this do anything?

24.

What is that?

Describe yourself again.

You don't have to look, I got you.

Oh, I'm

5'11 and tall and thin and hunched over.

And what color is your skin?

Blue.

Okay, your skin turns blue.

Is that all?

It's a vibrant shade of blue.

Wow.

It's a slightly different shade of blue.

Did you just change your skin to a slightly different shade of blue?

What are you guys doing with my suntan?

I'm trying.

I'm panicking sad.

Okay, you guys are both down there.

Kai, if you want to try anything, now's your chance.

Okay.

So.

I'm going to jump down there too.

Oh, my God.

I jumped down there.

I jumped jumped down there!

Yes.

And I do have...

I'm living for this.

I'm living for this.

Let's walk Sam slowly into a full kid camp TPK on camera.

How many of you lie?

And I say, don't worry, guys.

I got this under control.

Okay.

So.

You land deftly right next to everybody's really crammed in down there.

It's not a large hole.

You land in a puddle of lava.

Oh, dear.

Ouch.

You take one point of damage.

Okay.

So

here's what I want you to do.

I want you to throw her out of there

whenever you get a chance.

And I'm going to grab Padman, and I have my ring of jumping.

Oh, you do.

And I'm going to try to jump out of here.

Okay, great.

Sky, are you going to throw her out?

Not when I have a spell that I can use.

Great.

Okay, so let's see how this throw works.

You loft Padman into your hands and throw.

No, I'm going to jump.

Oh, jump.

That's right.

It just happens.

You just jump.

That's right.

It's an easy jump for you as you activate your, what is it, a ring of jump?

My ring of jump.

Okay.

You easily jump Padman and yourself out of the hole.

You are free.

You are both clear.

And you come back to your senses

confused at what just happened.

Oh my God.

Our friends.

I jumped back in the hole.

Is that true?

I have a 21 strength and a standing leap of 15 feet.

Well, now you're going to conscious.

And a climb speed.

So I come out and I go, ha, what are you doing?

And I jump back.

And I will grab my friends.

I think with the 21 strength, I can have a game.

However, on landing, you take another two points of damage.

And with the strength of your amphibian leg muscles, you leap both of your friends out of the.

I would say that you have to do them one at a time.

They're large.

They're large.

So who would you like to take first?

I, who, who acts next in initiative?

We didn't roll initiative,

but probably

Eden was going to do something.

You can get yourself out just fine because you're very strong.

I'm going to grab Jessup and get you out of there.

Okay, Jessup.

Also, everybody is clear except for Skye.

What are you going to do?

In fact, while you're thinking about it, you take

four points of damage

and how do I put this in there like this?

You can also keep track of it on your page.

Is that the HP damage?

I can go down four points.

Yeah, wow.

Um, oh, but it didn't save.

Well, I'll figure that out.

Uh,

um,

all right, well, all right, all right,

I could can I can can I climb out without using a spell?

You can.

It's a perfectly smooth

pit.

The stone is perfectly smooth, or it was before your shot.

Your shot caused a whole bunch of cracks to form all around that you could use to climb out.

There's also the rope.

Is there still the rope?

I thought you dropped the rope.

I didn't drop it.

I jumped down there, but the ropes are still up there.

I guess.

I thought you were holding the rope and then you just dropped them.

I think you jumped down while you were holding the rope.

Sorry, I misremembered.

The ropes are gone.

Did you throw the rope?

Well, now the ropes are gone.

The ropes are down

with you.

I'm going to try to use my jump spell.

You have a jump spell?

I have a jump spell.

Okay, great.

Go ahead and cast it with your barbarian wizard of village.

First roll to see if this spell even works.

It works.

And sure enough, you cast this spell on yourself and feel invigorated to jump as high as you'd like to.

Boop.

You're out.

You made it.

You guys did it.

Good job.

You didn't die in a pit.

That was chaotic.

That's a wrap for part one of this podcast episode.

Part two is heading your way this upcoming Tuesday at 5 a.m.

Pacific, and we'll pick up this adventure right where we left off.

Until next time, we'll be back at Camp Wildmount before you know it.

I'm going to put you on, nephew.

All right, um.

Welcome to McDonald's.

Can I take your order?

Miss, I've been hitting up McDonald's for years.

Now it's back.

We need snack wraps.

What's a snack rap?

It's the return of something great.

Snack wrap is back.

Going up.

Prices keep going up these days.

It feels like being on an elevator that only goes up.

Going up.

But not at Metro.

We're pushing the down button.

Going down.

We've lowered prices.

Get one line of 5G data for $40.

Period.

That's 20% lower.

And you get a free Samsung 5G phone when you bring your number.

Only at Metro.

Five-year guarantee on eligible plans, exclusions, applies.

See website for details.

Not available at Fab Metro with T-Mobile in the past six months.

Tax supplies.