Welcome, Campers! | Wildemount Wildlings Episode 1 Part 2

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Howdy ho campers!

It's Game Master Sam Regal and you're listening to part two of this episode of Wild Mount Wildlings.

So if you haven't checked out part one yet, pause this now and head over there first.

In this three-episode mini-series, we're following the antics of four angsty team campers and their legendary counselors, Beauregard Lionette and Yasha Naidoran, as an unexpected turn of events flings this unlikely band of adventurers into a quest of a lifetime.

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Now let's wild out and jump into the much anticipated second half of this episode.

Wait, Sam, the listeners need a part one recap.

It's the last day at Wild Mount Wildlings, and to camp director Beth's disappointment, the Olga Cabin has yet to earn any merit merit badges.

Veth brings in her friends Bo and Yasha from the Mighty Nine to teach the kids, Kai, Sky, Padmond, and Jessup, some team-building skills so they can earn a badge and stay at the camp.

After a game of Snatch the Pine Cone, Yasha is ready to lead the campers in a round of tug of war.

Alright, we've got uh, we've got an uh, we're gonna do a little uh game of strength.

Okay, this is

many people like to call this game tug of war, which I'm not really sure why it's called that, because it's war is violent and bloody and

brutal.

Where I'm from, if you lost, you would be stoned to death.

But anyway, today we will call it the pull of peace.

And all of you are going to be against

me and Bo.

Work as a team,

Pull hard and try to beat us.

You got this.

All right.

Sure enough, a rope is strung out over that bridge.

All of you take one side, Bo and Yasha on the other.

They're very strong, even though their abilities have been reduced a little bit.

They're very strong athletes.

So Luke comes over and explains to you that, hey, the rules are the same here.

You guys can do whatever you want.

You can cast a spell.

You can try to distract them.

You can go punch one of them in the leg, whatever you want to try to do.

Of course, if you spend your action doing something other than pulling, there will be a little bit of a disadvantage.

However, that disadvantage might be made up for by the advantage that you get by messing up one of them.

So plan wisely.

Is Archibald still around?

Archibald will stay here for the rest of my natural board life unless he is dismissed or destroyed by magic.

That's awesome.

I love having this third guy around.

I want to turn over to Jessup as we're heading to the next thing and just go, hey, I noticed that your voice got extraordinarily loud after your spell fizzled.

It did.

It was really upsetting.

Do you have a hard time controlling your magic?

Only when anxiety kicks in, I, yeah.

Got it.

I have actually no control over it.

Have you considered feeling different emotions than anxiety?

You know,

you make a good point, but I'll try that next time.

Okay.

I wish you had gotten the pied code.

Wow.

That's really sweet.

Thank you so much.

Yeah, I wish that too.

That was really cool what you did, even though it took about 30 minutes, but it was...

Yeah, I don't know why we would be in a rush.

While this is happening, can I hand a little dagger to Archibald?

To the frog yeah sure you you can hand an actual communicate with him right I mean do you speak frog I don't but I just give him my dagger okay I give him a little wink he's gonna try to pick it up with his frog mouth it's pretty heavy and it's bigger than he is but he kind of drags it away a little bit

see this

of course you do

Kai

That there's no way that that is approved equipment.

Where did you get that?

The frog had it, not me.

Yeah, I saw you give it away.

No, no, no, no.

The frog lent it to me, and then I'm going to go to the bathroom.

The frog that's existed for 20 minutes lent it to you?

He's very well equipped.

Did you see his teeth?

I did.

It's a very expensive procedure.

It's disturbing.

No, he's got the full veneers going.

Look,

how about this?

I gotta confiscate this dagger.

I'll give it back to you if you win Togue of War.

And then then maybe I'll teach you some knife throwing.

Okay.

As you go to pick up the dagger out of the mouth of the frog, you see that as you've been talking, the frog has, in the bottom of a tree trunk, has carved a little P

heart A

for Padman loves Archibald in the side of the tree trunk.

Archibald, we haven't established that.

I'm not saying it's not true, but I'm saying you're jumping the gun.

I've only been alive for one day and I've never experienced love.

I just thought I would try.

That's such a short timeline by a guy.

I know, but

this might be my only chance.

You know, I just feel like this is the beginning and the end for me.

This is beautiful, guys.

I just want to say this is beautiful.

Take it.

Dagger and kind of...

No.

Archibald, relinquish the blade.

And relinquish it, he does, and hops back over to your side.

All right, I'll put him up on my shoulder.

I give it a little kiss.

I knew we had a special connection.

I created you.

Kind of showing one end of the rope.

Kind of showing off a little bit.

I take the dagger and I flick it

to the archery arrow right in the bullseye.

Oh, perfect.

That's amazing.

Guys, I think for this one we should have a time limit.

So we're just going to say, uh

how about if this doesn't end in the next 30 seconds or so we call it all right

yeah that's plenty of time all right as long as it's under 10 minutes you can't do any ritual casting so honestly

it could be nine minutes and

yeah 59 seconds and we'd be okay all right so you everybody grips the rope and is ready to pull um the rules here guys are that uh we'll just say there's an imaginary line which i i'm sure matt has something right what does he have that I can use God?

He's got so much shit

I actually said the S worse so put another five in there

Go straight into the jar

These are hard to shove in there like harder than regular dollars.

Yeah, they are

Let's just say that this is the centerpiece of the rope, and if you can move it 10 feet in either direction, you win.

You'll each get to

make strength rolls if you're going to pull.

I will average them out.

So the four of your scores will be averaged out, the two of yours will be averaged out.

If any one of you

chooses to spend their turn doing something other than pulling, it will be a minus two to your strength score.

However, it might give you a big advantage if you can

deceive, distract, injure, do whatever you want to try to do to Bo and Yasha.

And I guess let's just start it up, shall we?

Why doesn't everybody, including Bo and Yasha, roll for initiative?

Okay,

and we'll see what happens.

Did anyone get more than 20?

No,

15 to 20.

Wait,

I got over 20.

Hold on.

That's my initiative.

I got 21.

Woo Doctor.

Woo Doctor.

And Padman got 15.

Who anybody get from

10 to 15?

12.

I rolled low.

12.

Do we add our initiative initiative modifier?

12 for me.

Okay, okay.

I'm really low.

I've got 3.

And Kai?

Okay.

Raffer Game.

Yeah.

I got a 9 then.

Okay, great.

No problem.

Thank you.

Alright, so it looks like...

You know what?

Let's have the Yasha and Bo side go first.

So Yasha, are you going to pull or do something else?

I am raging.

Yes, you are.

And...

Let's have a strength check.

Yes.

Go for it.

Are we allowed to manipulate the rope before the match begins?

No!

The match has begun.

Nice.

That is a 21.

Look at Bo, are you going to pull or do something else?

I want to do something else.

Okay.

Because I have a very buff wife.

Yes, you do.

So I think she got it.

So I want to kind of like...

I want to keep them on their toes.

Okay, great.

Quite literally.

So I'm going to take the rope.

And you know in like CrossFit how people do the

this thing?

Sure, sure, sure.

So I want to like flip the rope see if I could just pop a couple of them in the mouth with it.

Amazing.

A little pop pop.

They're the just flying.

Yeah.

I guess roll in an attack on your unarmed strike.

Yes.

And see what you're doing.

And then I'm going to do a flurry of blows to do two more to try and

take it.

Hold on.

Take it.

All four.

I think it'll get all.

Do I get two attacks at level three?

I haven't been level three in so long.

I don't know.

We're gonna, we're just gonna.

I don't know how DD works.

I don't know.

Okay.

That's bad.

I rolled bad.

That's going to be 10 for the first one.

Okay.

Still really bad.

That's going to be 8 for the second one.

I rolled a 2.

Oh my God.

And a 3.

So a 9.

Okay, so

does anyone have an AC less than 10?

No.

That's, yeah.

Wait, you do?

Wait, no, no, your AC is 11.

You're just kidding.

I'm just kidding.

Yep.

Amazing.

So none of that works.

None of that works.

Yes, the rope definitely flips around a lot.

Definitely could have hit somebody, but you just didn't gauge the sizes right.

They're very small, and he's very slippery.

And Kai, how tall are you?

I'm just like 5'9.

Yeah, but he's sort of, he's so aloof, he's just like, he's not even holding the rope yet.

So he wasn't even near it.

Time badly.

I'm like,

it's hard to get the short people and the tall people at the same time.

It's true.

You're a lot of different levels.

What was that all about?

What was that?

I was given to understand that you guys saved the world at one point.

Yeah?

Yeah.

But this is different.

Fascinating.

Are you going to be pulling or

with all my mind on the help action from my familiar Archibald?

Amazing.

Roll to see your stupid potion.

I feel so fatigued.

Need electrolytes.

This is awful.

I'm going to kill Caleb.

Okay, that's a 21.

Amazing.

Great.

Who's next?

Skye, are you pulling or are you doing something else?

I want to cast a spell.

Yes, you do.

Go ahead, Wizard.

Well, at lunch, we didn't get to eat like the people who did well, but I did steal a pat of butter.

And so I want to try my brand new grease spell to try to grease

the

rope

so that they fall off of it.

That's great.

I love it.

First round.

You're not feeding the children here properly.

I'm not in charge of the cafeteria.

The feast was for the kids that got to move up with people.

It's pretty sad.

Flip your coin to see if

your wizard spell works.

It does not!

Okay.

With your wizard spell, you have prepared your components.

You've prepared your incantation.

You do the...

The facey finger thing.

Yes, you do the motions and make the sounds in all the correct order, or at least you think so.

One misguided word and a fat thumb just bending just the wrong way makes the spell actually cast.

It does cast.

It just casts on the wrong side of the rope.

So all of you guys

have a greasy rope now that is going to be very, very hard to

hold on to.

I'm so sorry.

That'll be negative five to your pull.

Next up is Kai.

What do you want to do?

So I haven't even touched the rope yet.

You can, or you can go and menace Yasha or do whatever you want to do.

I'm not touching the rope yet.

Little piece is really destroying.

I'm feeling better about myself.

I have a little disguise kit here.

Yes, and in 30 seconds, what are you going to do with that?

So,

was doing the little rope move,

I was counting on them being distracted enough at the failure of that move to put my little disguise kit on.

It's a kit that's like a bunch of makeup and different

fake mustaches and a little fake wig and stuff.

So, are you just putting what are you putting on?

All of it?

I'm putting on all of it, yeah.

Okay, so like a wig, fake mustache.

I have a fake, like, I have one mustache up here and then one mustache down here.

Sure, sure, sure.

The bottom one is typically called a beard.

It's still facing.

It's

a little bit of a mustache for my lower mustache.

Okay.

Okay.

And what is your intention with this

get up?

I'm going to try to

walk.

So I'm on that side of the bridge, right?

Yes, you have 30 feet of movement, I believe.

Okay.

30 feet of cross.

Now, I kind of want to get behind them without being seen.

So

I'm going to.

gonna

I want to use

I want to use my whip to swing under the bridge and land on the other side to get behind him.

Okay

What is this?

Quite a move to try to do all in a few seconds

So you throw this wig and mustache on yeah, I throw it in the air and then I'm gonna whip and then hopefully have a lot of balloon ring land on the horse.

Yeah, have all the disguises land on me.

I don't know if the cameras can see, but on this side, the side that you're going to try on,

there are a bunch of spikes.

So you're going to

see that.

All right.

Well, there are no spikes.

That's fine.

You're going to try to swing across that way with your whip.

Oh, it just goes, Yasha, are you seeing this?

The light is coming.

I'm going to have you roll up to see if this works.

So roll an acrobatics check.

This is a very high DC.

Do we pretend like we don't see this to give it to the competition?

not good enough.

You do manage to do it.

Everybody can see you.

This is very, very obvious.

And because, like,

you whipped the whip right here,

the way that it works is you swing down like a pendulum, but you don't quite make it all the way back up.

So you're just kind of swinging back and forth here at the bottom.

You didn't quite make it back up again.

Watching Kai put this disguise on and watching Skye cast grease on our side of the rope, I go, did I misunderstand the objective?

Did my disguise at least land on me as I did that move?

You're wearing a wig and two mustaches.

Okay, awesome.

That's all I needed to know for now.

And you guys both see this.

I have a few questions, but we're going to wait for after the pull-a-piece.

All right.

Jessip, you're up.

What do you want to do?

I am going to use a mage hand.

Okay.

And I'm going to it's going to come out of my

I twist my monocle and the hand comes out and it's going to go to Yasha and tickle you really really hard.

Yes.

Are you feeling super stressed right now or did you calm down after the last event?

I think also

Padman's little pep talk made me

feel another monoclass.

So then I'm going to say that this spell works

and mage hand is cast.

Oh.

But But in order to find her tickly bits, that's going to take a little bit of effort.

Get it out of there.

I'm going to say roll an insight check to see if you can glean what part of Yasha's body is both ticklish and available to be tickled because she wears heavy leather arms.

I think I got it.

No!

I got a two plus two.

Okay, okay.

What part of Yasha's body are you trying to tickle?

I was going for the tummy.

Okay.

The dum-dum.

And Yasha,

why doesn't that work?

My tummy is the only part of my body that is not ticklish because it is pure muscle.

And I just like flex against it and it just bounces off the mage hand.

I'm gone for the armpits.

The mage hand doesn't have a personality or a body, but if it did,

it would be like, whoa.

Damn.

When it touches this, it's a nine-pack.

It's not even an eighth pack.

There's an extra one.

There's so many.

There's an extra one in there.

Yeah.

And it unfortunately has no effect.

I really thought I had an understanding of human anatomy.

She's an Asimar.

That's the problem right there.

That's great.

It makes like a little serving platter.

Yeah, you can lay out a sushi platter.

The rope moves five feet this way.

There's one more round of this to see if you guys can somehow get it back

or if they're gonna win

top of the round.

Yasha, Yasha, what do you want to do?

Are you pulling again or are you gonna keep pulling?

Great, do your thing.

I'm really trying to get them off their feet.

No, unless I roll bad.

Not great.

Oh, wait, I'm ranging.

Oh, much better.

That is

21.

Amazing.

Damn.

Great.

Bo, what are you doing this time?

Or do you want to wait until somebody else goes?

Technically, Padman is next to declare what he's doing.

Okay.

Okay, Padman, what are you doing?

I'm going to look.

I'm going to look around.

The mage, I'm going to go.

The tickling attack was blocked by the obliques.

And I'm going to go

and look at my compatriots.

And I think Padman's going to reach deep down inside and is going to, for the first time in his life,

cast a spell non-ritually.

Actually,

actually,

actually burn a spell slot, which he's never done before.

He has never used a spell slot.

It's always been like, but what if I need to avail myself of that magic later?

He's doing it, Peter.

He is going to cast the floating disc spell,

which...

Floating disc creates, it can hold up to 500 pounds of weight, and it is,

according to the spell, immobile, unless I command it.

And I would like to quickly tie our rope around the floating disc.

Oh, what a cool idea.

It's a three-foot-wide

rope.

Yes.

Three-wide rope.

I mean, I'm sorry.

Three-wide disc.

Yeah.

Of telekinetic energy.

It's like an invisible frisbee, basically.

Yes, exactly.

Okay.

And you're going to try to tie your side of the rope around it.

This is tie-knotting skills.

This is camp stuff.

What knot are you going to use?

I will look at it and I will go, remember rope-tying class.

And I flash back to a rope-tying class in which I was busily statting out playing cards, listening to nothing that was said about tying knots.

And I go, great wizards of pods of the past, guide my webbed hands.

And I will make a non-proficiency rope check, but I want Archibald to help me.

Sure.

But I have no proficiency in this.

So this is like...

I can almost guarantee that your familiar frog also doesn't have proficiency in rope time, but he will help.

Great.

You're going to try to attempt a double fisherman knot.

Great.

And

let's say either roll a history check to see if you remember from that class or a survival check to see if you can glean this knowledge from your knowledge of...

I'll do history to be like, come on, certainly you Osmos, something from that class

shattering instructor bothering you and your card building time.

And also I'll do history with advantage from Archibald.

Sure, yes.

That's a 15 on the screen.

Very good already.

And then 16 is my final one.

Incredible, incredible.

Sure enough, the double fisherman's knot

goes around the floating disc.

Do you, this floating disc...

Where is it?

Do you have to move out of the way?

I mean, it's a physical item.

I'm going to create it right in front of me and tie the knot around it as quickly as i can so like yeah like right here

yes okay there is a floating disc right in front of you that somewhere just watching him tie it it happens real fast yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna leap i'll like leap into like as i'm summoning it i'm like throwing the rope around it to grab it and tie it again and you and you uh you get across it by sort of like Dukes of Hazard style sliding across the top of it.

And like leave a loop in Archibald's mouth so like he's helping me.

Awesome.

We work so well together yeah we sure do but life is great it'll go on for a while won't it

you have to relax

you are brand new existential crises i just feel like this is fleeting somehow and i i i want to cherish every moment you know does a thing have to last forever to be beautiful

I mean, I'd like it to last for more than a day.

Well, it's not promised.

All right, the rope is set and it is taut.

Marisha Bo, you're up.

Okay.

What am I going to do?

Marisha Boo!

You also don't have to follow rules.

I don't.

I don't.

And I'm a dope monk, and I do dope monk stuff.

Thank you for not cursing.

You're welcome.

So I am, with the rope being taught, I'm going to vault myself onto the top of the rope and I'm going to

walk across it kind of tightrope walk across it.

Whoa.

And first I'm going to

get to Padman.

I'm going to go.

It's very clever kid.

And then I'm going to go boop boop boop and bounce on top of like all of their heads.

I'm going to do a little monk monk parkour over all their heads.

Easy enough.

Are you trying to inflict damage or are you what are you doing?

I just want to throw them.

Whoa.

I just want to throw them off.

Distracting them.

Yeah.

Okay.

Let's roll an intimidation check to see if they are intimidated by your feet on their faces.

Not mine, though.

I'm still hanging down there.

Yeah.

You're hanging on a whip.

Okay.

Yeah, it's pretty good.

16.

16, this is against people's...

Jesus, I don't know how D ⁇ D works.

Is this against something you have to roll to see if you are intimidated?

Everybody roll a constitution saving throw.

Even me.

What would it be?

A constitution saving throw?

Typically, there is not a mechanism for intimidating or persuading your fellow PCs.

I know where this is happening.

But a wisdom save or something along those lines feels appropriate.

Wisdom, charisma.

I will, yes,

let's do wisdom.

Do I need to be intimidated too?

I'm still hanging.

No, you're not affected by this because she's still popping on your head.

So the three of you roll a wisdom saving throw.

It's a D20, and Brandon will point to where you add.

Wisdom's here at plus three.

Yes, the saving throws are right.

Sky you as well.

I rolled a one.

Okay.

But I'm a halfling.

Whoa.

So I have the luck.

Oh, I hate it.

I hate it.

I hate it so much.

Too bad.

Well, I got a five.

Padman and Jessup, what did you roll?

I rolled a seven plus

two.

Plus a three for wisdom.

Oh, three, yes.

So, ten, ten.

Okay, and what's the number we're trying to do?

My friend's so smart.

Thank you so much.

I fail monstrously.

I rolled a three plus seven.

Someone you respect, someone you admire, someone many of you have heard stories about, uh, sung in songs of bards and written in legends and myths, uh, is walking on your head now.

And uh, she's doing it in sort of a real bitchy way.

And it does, look, I can be very athletic and very light-footed here, but

it's pretty rude.

And

you're trying to put extra weight into your little chest.

It's like someone booping you on the nose, and you're like...

What kind of shoes do you have?

Rude?

Yeah,

barefoot?

Not barefoot, but they're like soft canvas with like wraps, like little wraps.

And then I'm going to

kind of do my own little flip, kind of to get me back to the middle, and I'm just gonna stand over the edge and look at Kai,

just confused.

I don't say anything, I'm just I'm just looking

down at Kai.

Yo, you okay?

Do you need help?

Are you stuck?

I won't say anything back, I'm just gonna keep looking for her.

Your feet are like six inches off of the ground.

No, right.

I look up on that seven wisdom save.

I go, I four fit.

Oh.

What?

Wait, no.

No, no, no, no.

This is trivial.

You've actually been very good at all of this.

We're not a blue.

You've been doing such a good job.

No, we failed.

I can't hear what you guys are saying up there, but if you're thinking about quitting, don't do it.

If she can walk on our heads, there's nothing she can't do.

Is there anything?

We're being played with like my

sky.

It's your turn if you'd like to keep trying.

Keep trying.

Keep trying.

trying whatever you do It's gonna be a disadvantage because you are intimidated right now.

Is there anything I can do to inspire my my friend not to give me sure you can talk to him you can

You can give him a gift you can do whatever you would like to do what a friend would do to inspire someone else a hug anything

Wait, am I close to him?

You're

oh yeah, I'm

sort of right behind you.

Yeah, you said you were on the disc so you're tying it so I'd say you're up here actually.

Yeah.

Okay.

Uh uh uh

yeah, I'm gonna give him a hug.

Okay, and I don't even care that he's poison.

No, my skin is toxic.

Give him a hug because I think you get poisoned.

What are you gonna get a constitution saving through?

Sky, I have a pretty good constitution.

16 plus

at disadvantage because you're intimidated by both.

So I have to roll again.

Uh-huh.

Okay.

Make it.

You'll make it.

Eight plus three is eleven.

Twelve years.

Oh,

You can't even do math.

As you hug me and begin to get poisoned,

what do you say?

I say it was all worth it.

I hurt everyone around me.

I hope you guys are making progress up there.

What was the mustache's plan?

What?

Come on, you guys.

Focus!

Focus!

Are you gonna let petty little distractions stop you in real life?

That's That's Sky's turn.

Come on!

Ty, you're up.

So, how far away am I from the ground?

As you can see on the map, you're just 10 feet down.

It's not that much.

Okay, so it's not that steep.

Nope.

Okay.

Hmm.

I let go of the rope.

You fall six inches to the ground.

And I scream out.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Help!

Help!

I think I broke something!

Ah, ah, help!

Help me!

Okay,

I guess roll a deception check.

Yeah, that's pretty good.

That's pretty good.

That's pretty good.

That's a pretty good idea.

Okay, hold on, 12 deception.

Where is it?

Plus six.

That is 18.

And then,

I guess you guys roll to see if it works.

What did they roll, Brennan?

What's the poison?

Am I supposed to be rolling at disadvantage?

No, you're not still poised.

Oh, God, I guess.

Oh, deception.

Insight.

Insight, thank you.

Oh, natural one.

Wow.

I'm so sorry I can't read this.

Oh, it's a two, and I have a minus one to insight, so one.

You both got ones?

Oh, okay.

Oh, it's really bad.

It's really bad.

You've never, both of you have never felt this before.

You guys, you need to come down here right now, both of you, please.

This is maternal instincts.

My boy!

My boy!

My boy!

You both instantly need to help this young man.

I broke it.

I broke him.

I broke him.

We broke him.

I dropped him.

We're not ready for this.

We're not ready.

This is too stressful to have a trial.

We're squashing.

We're ready.

You gotta come down here and look at it.

No, I'm not.

Right next to you.

Right next to you, no.

I'll drop the rope, put my hand on top of the post, and leap over.

Okay, that's the rest of your turn.

The rope, the rope is free to move.

You guys can move it back all the way if you'd like.

Actually, Jessica, you're last, so this is your role.

Oh, that's really stressful.

This is really, really stressful.

You gotta write this out.

You gotta write this out.

I feel it.

You've got one point of stress on you.

This is gonna be so much.

What are you gonna try to do to get this rope 10 feet your way, 15 feet your way?

Well,

I was gonna go for a,

I could, I could do a just good old pull.

Yeah, sure.

But

I can't help but my impulse to do something magic.

So I.

think it has to be the way.

It has to work this time.

I'm really stressed, but it has to work this time.

So what are you doing?

So

I'm going for a sorcerer's burst to make them let go of it entirely.

They've already let go of it.

They've already let go of it.

It's completely free.

You can just pull it back.

Nobody can.

You can pull the rope.

It is a heavy rope.

It's a thick, thick rope, and you're a small.

But let's try it.

Go ahead and roll.

You are uh she walked on your head so this is a disadvantage just do a simple strength roll to see if you you by yourself can pull all of the rope across uh in time and so that's rolling two of

uh two d20s and take the the lesser of the two

16 very good

nine

do you have any strength Wait, six or nine?

What is that?

Nine.

Nine.

Nine is better.

Do you have any strength?

I'm really, very very weak.

I have zero.

Okay.

Luckily, literally no one is contesting this.

So, sure enough, it's actually pretty hard.

The hardest part of it isn't the strength part, it's the confusion.

So much has gone on in the last few seconds.

One of your friends has two mustaches on his face.

Two of them,

your opponents have dropped the rope and are going to

save him when clearly he's faking.

One of your friends just poisoned the other friend because he's having an existential crisis.

No, that's just extra.

My skin poisons you automatically.

All related.

It's crazy, but yes, you managed to pull the rope, and yes, you managed to succeed.

Luke calls out, Victory!

You guys did it!

You did it!

Are you okay?

I'm okay!

Scott, you can go to the nurse's office!

He attacked Guy!

He killed him!

We're out of here!

I stand up, I take both of my mustache off, and I go, works every time.

You were faking?

You don't really have to.

Mustaches!

Wait, that was.

That was the disguise.

It works every single time.

I lower mustaches upside down.

I take my bow staff and I knock it right behind your knees to knock it on your ass.

And on your ass you are knocked.

No damage done, but

you're on your keister for a moment.

Just get over top of him.

I made a huge mistake.

I should have done our chant.

I should have done our chant for.

I'm sorry.

What chance is this?

Instead of a hug, we do this thing, and it helps us

to keep our focus.

And want to tell the story?

We were doing a race, and we were really behind, and both of us were getting really upset about it.

I was starting to to feel the anger and and she was getting the anxiety and then and then we saw this zoro Zorbo and it was so cute it just made us laugh and we came up with this chant.

Should we do it?

It was did you yeah

it was Sorbo's on Zorbo's all let's all do the Zorbo call

And it really calmed me down for some reason

So I'm sorry, I guess I should have that would have cheered you up, wouldn't it?

Yeah, well I don't know

Yeah, it would have cheered me up.

Archibald is on your shoulder, and he looks up at you, and

just sort of with confusion.

Well, what is this feeling that you're feeling?

I don't know, Archibald.

I think I'm just sad.

I know we just wed the pull of peace, but for a second there, I thought that a camper I'd never met with two mustaches almost died.

And then I found out it was Kai, and I thought Kai almost died but then I found out Kai was fibbing about that too and I poisoned my friend and and I don't know

I don't know if any of you guys heard this but

Beth

Beth called us losers

and I think she's right at least about me

no no let him feel it let him feel it for a second I also feel like a loser, but you did so many cool things.

You cast so many spells.

We were all wrapped around your fingers for 30 whole minutes while you cast a thousand spells.

You've been doing pretty good, I think.

And I've never seen magic like that.

There's so much that I want you to teach me.

I've been inspired by what you've done.

I don't think you're a loser.

Well, I'm knocked out and my face is on the ground.

I go, I think, I think we just won like two things.

I think you're good, man.

Yeah, I guess so.

Well, if we won, I guess that we can celebrate, but

do we get lunch now or is there more activity?

Beth, by the way,

at the beginning of all this, she left to go take care of the other campers.

Luke is still there.

Luke approaches you with congratulations.

You guys did really great.

It was an unorthodox tug of war, but you guys really did great.

And no, there's no lunch currently.

There's one more activity that they wanted to run you through before awarding you a merit badge.

You guys okay?

Do you need a snack?

I've got jerky.

I would love some jerky.

All right.

He pulls out four pieces of jerky, passes it around.

I pulled Yasha aside.

Did you see that?

Yeah, I did.

They started to believe in themselves.

They started to believe, they started to work together as a team.

I think it's working.

I think it's working and it actually inspired me so much.

Me too.

Maybe we can be good moms.

Me, I think we could.

When you passed out those juke juice boss juice boxes,

I forgot what they were called for a second.

There was like, I was filled with the money.

Did you like it?

Did you see that?

Yeah, I did.

It was like we were on, like, we were going to watch our kids at sports.

Yeah.

And you were like passing in between, giving them food and sustenance.

Wow.

So I think the lesson is, if you belittle and talk down to people, they eventually will rally to the occasion.

I mean, I would have said it in a different way, but I have to say that.

Oh, is that okay?

No, I agree.

I agree.

No, maybe it's over.

Yeah.

They're all amazing.

They were so good.

I'm so proud of them.

If they're all orphans, why don't we just adopt all of them?

They're not all orphans.

No, no, no, that's right, because Padmund has families.

They all have families except for maybe the weird shape of the family.

But I kind of...

He's like a mini-you.

Yeah, he's like me, me.

Is this what they say, where it's like you can, like, mold them in your image?

Maybe it is.

He's a mini bow.

Do you think I could just call him Minnie Bo?

I think, I think.

Do you think he'd respond well?

Probably.

Okay.

Standing right there listening to them.

I'm not jerking in my mouth.

I'm like, no, don't call me that.

Oh, I'd forget that we have our voices carry.

Um,

look,

you all should feel good about what you did here today.

It's not over.

But you see what all just happened?

If you think that the worst thing thing in your life is gonna be me running on your heads,

or butter on a rope,

or some mustaches, or two mustaches and a failed

what I don't know what you were trying to do there at first.

I thought I succeeded, actually.

It was all according to plan.

Or someone else

calling you a loser.

It's not the worst thing that's ever gonna happen to you all.

Maybe the worst thing that's happened today,

but did it stop any of you

it did for like one of you okay well you know what kaijus kid

lean into the inspirational speech i'm trying to make okay you're doing great okay

you got each other

and you gotta believe in that and believe in yourselves

I turn to them and I say, I think we got this in the bag, guys.

Great speech, Hansie Bo.

That was really nice.

Thank you, Luke.

There's one last activity today to see if you guys are capable of earning yourself a merit badge.

Some of you seem like you're doing pretty good so far.

We're going to play a game of hide and seek.

But Bo is pretty stealthy, so I think we're going to have Yasha go hide.

It's just a little bit easier.

No offense, Auntie.

Oh, me.

No, no, I understand.

I'm easier to find.

Okay.

Yasha's going to go off into the camp, and we're going to have have until curfew to find her.

She's gonna hide anywhere.

You guys can,

this is gonna be using your tracking skills to try to find her.

And if you do,

I think that'll be a third success and

that'll be the badge.

So, Auntie Yasha, you wanna run off and hide?

Sure.

All right.

I'll be here to assist you, of course.

Give you any guidance you might need.

Encouragement.

use me your elder as a resource

um as yasha goes off um i wish you all the best of luck come find me um i love you i love you a lot

give her i'm about to smack her on the ass but i pat her on the back instead smart smart uh the the cleric counselor beth hurries over to you guys hi everybody hi seems like a rough day um are any of you hurt or injured in any way?

I've been poisoned.

Oh, alright, yes.

Why don't you all gather near?

She gathers you near and casts a series of spells over all of you.

All of you feel instantly rejuvenated and find that all of your health

has been restored, if any of you lost any of it, and even your spell slots have been restored to full, as if you've taken a long rest.

The poisoned condition is washed away.

Beth wishes you luck.

Well, I'm off to my afternoon meditation.

Goodbye, everyone.

Good luck.

Oh, God, I hate her.

Luke says goodbye to her.

You look amazing today, Beth.

Oh, yes, thank you, Luke.

You're a wonderful friend.

And she walks off.

Luke

Luke sighs and turns to the four of you.

All right, so we're going to count.

My mom asked us to count to 669.

I don't know why.

So we're going to count to 669 and then we're going to go find Yasha.

So everybody

start counting.

As you guys start counting, Yasha, will you tell me where on the map you've gone to hide?

Yes.

Do you want me to text you?

Just tell me the number of the code on the map.

You don't have to text me.

You can say it out loud.

They don't have the number.

Seven.

I see it.

Okay.

You guys have your maps, right?

Okay.

As, Yasha, as you're making your way to that area and finding a hiding spot.

I'm just like moving things around.

Yeah, yeah, boxes, barrels, and stuff like that.

You hear, you know, roll a...

Roll a perception check.

14.

Okay.

You hear a strange banging coming from one of the cabins, then a hiss.

It's strange because nobody is at the cabins right now.

They're all off at this party, this celebration thing.

So the cabins are meant to be empty.

Okay.

Are you going to keep going?

Yes.

Okay, great.

As you walk by that cabin,

poof!

A puff of gray smoke shoots out from a vent on the side of it.

Roll a dexterity save if you don't mind.

Uh-oh.

Uh-oh.

Uh-oh.

Oh, that's not good.

Nine.

Okay.

You take

two points of damage.

Oh.

But also,

moreover, you go dizzy for a moment.

This gray smoke has shot you on the side of the face

and it just sort of makes you groggy for a moment.

You have trouble focusing your eyes and just as you sort of get your vision back, Yeza, Veth's husband, runs out of the cabin adjusting a leather apron and removing safety goggles.

Yasha, what are you doing here?

Wait, did you leave Bo with those campers all by herself?

She's going to kill them.

No, no, she won't because you made us drink that shit.

Oh,

swear, Jar.

There's no kids around.

You still have to pay me mommy visits.

No, you had to drink it and I can't.

I bumped my face.

I take actual American dollars.

All right, I just have to do it.

So,

no, you gave us

that potion.

It gave me a stomachache for once.

Oh, but also,

I'm hiding.

They're going to come find me.

Oh, this is part of the thing.

This is part of the thing.

I understand.

I understand.

Wait, were you just standing out here right now?

Yes, and some poof came out.

Oh, I'm so sorry about this.

I'm in there working on some potions.

I was brewing up a new elixir.

This is called a renebriation elixir.

It undoes the effects of drunkenness.

Oh, wow.

It's to help Beth sober up more quickly.

But it's not done.

Renebriation?

Yeah, instead of inebriation, it's renebriation.

So what does that...

Okay.

I don't make the names.

That's fine.

Anyway,

I was using an ingredient that Caleb sent, and so far it's been having the opposite effect.

And sure enough, as he's saying this, you realize you do feel a little bit drunk right now.

You might feel a little bit drunk for the next hour or so.

Yeah, I feel a little funny.

Yeah.

All of your ability checks and saves will be at disadvantage for the next hour.

Because you are drunk.

Because you are drunk.

Well, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to keep you.

I'm going to go back in and do more work, but you don't you have to hide?

Yes, I have to go hide.

Okay, go go hide, go hide.

Goodbye.

And find a hiding spot.

You do.

Why don't you roll a stealth check to see how well you are hidden?

Oh, boy.

You're at disadvantage.

Okay.

I'm sorry, I have died.

Okay, that's a five.

Okay,

seven.

Horrible.

Horrible.

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Back with the kids.

Back with the kids.

And sure enough, the Olga camp here is just getting to 667, 668, 669.

You may start your search

whenever you guys want.

Go find Yasha.

Counting to 669, I have ritual cast unseen servant and then just count to 69.

Okay, great.

Great, great.

You have an unseen servant.

I'm having it.

What would you like to do?

So where are we right now?

Oh, right now it's not, it's weirdly, it didn't get added to the map, but see where that flag is?

Yes.

You are sort of in the woods

behind that flag.

Gotcha.

Oh, I'm sorry.

No, that's not true.

Okay.

See where the curfew creature tower is?

You're to the left off the map.

Okay.

About 300 yards to the left off the map.

You said I had disadvantage on safe.

Everything.

Everything.

You've been successfully nerfed.

All right.

So

you're in a wooded area.

The training grounds is sort of in a remote area so that stray shots don't hurt people.

But you're in a wooded area about 300 yards away from camp.

There are paths and stuff that lead back to the campground.

How would you like to find her?

Alright, guys, so obviously the best thing to do as far as to split up into teams of

two.

Okay, so Padman, you go with me.

Archibald can join two.

And Jessup and Skye,

you know there's no there's only where there's only um one of me and there's uh four of you so

maybe try and stay with an eyeshot of me please so i don't get in trouble supposed to be watching you sure kai we'll do that kai we'll do that

are we gonna do that we're gonna do that okay we'll do that we'll do that Okay, and split up, you do.

Where do you want to you all head back to the camp area because that's where Yasha is going to go where does team

Kai and Padman want to head towards

hmm

I'm kind of leaning towards so what's the difference between admin and counselor cabins here?

Admin is an office gotcha and that's where all the the documents and whatnot are stored.

Oh my gosh correct.

Okay

I think we should go to the admin.

You think oh right because

Veth is the camp director and clearly Yasha would be most familiar with the admin at location as probably where whatever paperwork needed to decide to come on as an interim counselor.

Yeah, good thinking.

So let's head there.

Wait, let's head to Admin.

All right, you're just walking there.

You see nothing as you go.

I guess you want to roll a perception check just to see if you spot anything on the way.

All right.

That's a 20 as well, right?

Yes, everything's 20.

Archibald.

15.

Keep an eye out.

I will keep two of them out, sir.

So I got a 15.

That's going to be a 16.

Great.

15 and 16.

You don't see any

people.

That's not true.

You do see

Phyllis,

the

lunch lady, who's a centaur.

She is walking around.

You see where it says like bard tent?

She's walking around there with a bowl of slop, a bucket of slop that she's about to discard somewhere.

That's it.

That's all you see.

Bo is going to immediately run

kind of to the top of the curfew creature tower and just kind of perch just so I can have a better vantage on where these kids are going.

Okay.

As you reach the top of the curfew creature tower, you hear hello.

Hi.

Hi.

And you see before you a polar bear-sized blue and purple furry creature with glowing eyes and floppy ears.

She is lounging.

She's brushing her hair with a giant platinum hairbrush, picking tiny specks out of her coat, her feathery tail draped over one side.

How can I help you?

Oh, you

can't help me at all.

You just keep doing you.

If it's fine with you, I'm just gonna kind of be up here just so I can have a better, you know, keep my eyes on.

This is my perch, I'm sorry.

Okay, oh, so I can't stay.

This is the curfew creature tower, not a perchie creature.

I um, I understand that, but there's a, there's like a whole, like, pitch of the roof here that you're not utilizing, so I thought I could maybe just,

but can I just also stay up here just for a minute?

I can go find another roof.

You want me to find another roof?

I would.

Okay.

Okay, it was good meeting you.

I've heard a lot about you.

Have a good day.

Do you eat children?

No.

What do you do when they...

What happens if they're past curfew?

What happens?

Oh, if they are out past curfew,

they get punished.

Oh,

okay.

Lordy.

Okay.

But no one's ever out past curfew.

I can see why.

Yeah, it's great.

Preventative measures.

Yes.

Okay.

Do you get I'm

I'm gonna stop asking questions.

You're not uh one of the students here, are you?

No, no, I'm actually um

oh a new counselor.

What's your name?

Uh Bo Overguard.

I'm Mishi.

Nice to meet you.

Mishi.

Wow.

What is it rude if I ask um

what are you?

What's your deal?

Yes.

Can we see them from where we are right now?

Yeah,

the

curfew creature tower can overlooks all of camp.

So from all of camp, you can see.

You can see.

And she always is looking.

I just turned.

Can I see the kids?

Yeah, roller perception check.

Yeah, they're pretty close.

It's pretty easy to see them.

Yeah, 18.

Yeah, you can totally see them.

They're near the barred tent.

So I'm kind of trying to do one of these where I'm still trying to keep a look in the kids.

I catch Kai's eye for a second and just go

Um

Okay, yeah, if it's good, it's good meeting if you'd like to stay

you could pay

You know I have had to fork over a lot of cash into the swear jar.

What do you what do you what what is the currency that you accept anything shiny really anything shiny yes uh

oh wow well I've got the short sword that I don't, I've had, I guess, for forever, and I don't know why.

Do you want to?

It's in your inventory.

It is my inventory.

Yeah.

No, no.

I prefer more shiny things like coins and baubles and jewelry.

Yeah, if I give you like 50 silver, can I stay up here?

Sure.

Okay.

Here you go.

Thank you.

Wow, okay.

Is that is this like a side hustle for you?

I'm not paid.

Wait.

You just enjoy doing it?

I do.

That is okay.

I love watching.

Does.

Does insurance know about you for liability purposes?

For sure they do.

Okay.

Alright.

I'm just gonna.

Get back to paying attention, if that's okay.

I'll just watch.

Can you

watch me or watch them?

Yes.

Okay.

All right.

what are you two doing libe and eaten okay

um uh well she's giving me a shoulder ride of course of course what we do uh i i thought about maybe checking out the camp store because i feel like like yasha's got good style maybe she wants to do a little shopping while she's hiding i i don't know just a thought did you did you did

with your abilities do you do you do you have do you have a better idea well i i did have a thought um i do have a flying flying scroll, so my thought was perhaps if I fly, I keep you on my shoulder, like I, as we do, and I, can I do that while we

fly around,

we can check out, we can cover so much more ground and we can find her.

Amazing.

So you're going to use your scroll of flying?

I would like to use my scroll of flying.

Okay, you read the incantation on the scroll of flying, and you cast fly on yourself and your little friend, and for the next minute, you can fly.

The scroll disappears, though.

It can't be used again.

It disappears.

I have her perched on.

I actually, for the sake of flying, I have you on one shoulder.

Cool.

And I, and I have a

swirl of blue smoke swirls around us and it lifts us up into the air, and we fly and search.

Okay, roll a perception check with advantage to see if you can find.

Either both of you can roll one or Libay, you can roll two.

It's up to you.

Why don't we do it as teens?

You can't roll

11 feet.

Plus Exceptions.

Plus two.

Plus two.

Okay.

I'll say because of your

high perched here, you can see.

Yasha, what are you wearing today?

Camp Counselor shirt?

Camp Counselor shirt, and then everything else is black, as usual.

As usual, yeah.

Still white short hair.

So it's like a leather bodysuit, but with like an oversized t-shirt over it?

Cool.

Yes, yes.

You can see black leather

legs

and it's over near where it says supplies on your map.

And she's hiding behind some boxes and barrels.

You can see her.

There she is.

She is behind the boxes and barrels.

I can't see it, but I trust you.

Should we go over there?

Can we?

I think

that's the objective, right?

So we fly.

We fly over there.

And we...

As you're flying over there, I'll cut back to Brennan, you and Alex.

I'll say that you've passed the barred tent.

You're almost all the way to the admin building.

Anything you want to do or try or be?

I think we look up and see Bo and you two fly overhead.

And I go, whoa, there goes Jessup and Sky.

They are airborne.

They've mastered levitation.

Incredible.

And I'll look over and say well, I guess they've got the grass covered.

Should we check out and see if Yasha's hiding in the admin building?

I think we should.

We definitely should go inside.

Great.

Well,

after you, Balfre.

You get to the front door of the admin building.

The door is closed.

Is it locked?

If you go and check, the door is locked, yes.

Okay.

So are we still within eyeshot of the

tower?

The creature tower?

The tower can see all, yeah.

The tower can see everything,

even if I were to go in the back side of the building.

Alright, so we're gonna go to the back side of the building.

Alright.

No.

No.

No.

What are they doing over there?

So before we go to the bottom of the city,

we go to the back side of the building and I say to Patton,

I think we should try and get in through one of the windows over there.

Think you can crack that open for us?

The windows on the abbot building?

Yeah.

You think Yasha?

I mean, she's a sturdy lady.

I don't know if she got it through a window.

Well,

you never know.

They are the Mighty Nine.

That's a great point.

They are the Mighty Nine, after all.

That's true.

The Vitey died.

I wouldn't put it past him.

Geek.

And I'm going to try to open a window.

Yeah.

It's locked.

Hmm.

Perhaps.

I grab Archibald and I throw him through the window.

My frog!

Through the window.

Through the window.

Okay.

It works.

The glass breaks.

How many hit points does

Archibald have?

I believe one.

The familiar.

Let me see.

How many hit points does this bad boy have?

Probably has frog or toad stats.

I think likely has a single hit point.

I'm looking.

Oh no.

A frog has one hit point.

As the frog flies through the window,

he thinks, you know what?

Maybe life isn't meant to go on forever.

Maybe Padmud was right.

It was fleeting and short, but I got to experience love,

fear,

confusion.

A lot of confusion.

I got to see fights.

I got to witness love and motherhood.

I I think it was worth it.

And the shattering glass ends his existence.

Immediately vanishes.

I look over.

Ajaba!

I look over to Admin and I go,

I'm so sorry.

I did not know he was going to do that.

He's a tidy little frog guy.

He's just a little guy.

Nobody's helping him out.

And now he's dead.

Until I summon him back where he will be completely reconstituted and fine.

Well, you heard the little speech he made, right?

That was beautiful.

I guess so.

Well, fine.

I'll summon him back again in a second.

But

I just, you gotta be careful, okay?

He's just a little guy.

He doesn't, he's not cut out for all this adventure and stuff.

I know, I know, I'm sorry, but look, the window is now accessible.

All right, and I'm gonna clamber, I'm gonna hop up and jump through the window and extend a hand to great.

Yes,

as you do, yes.

Did did you hear screaming did you hear that i did it did not sound good no i'm gonna scurry down and start going over have a good day

be sure to be home by curfew

i will as we get through the window i'll look and say i'm sure that that glass breaking made a sound but

nothing that a little magic can't bend and i'll cast mending on the window nicely done sure enough uh the the the glass is repaired as if it never was broken incredible do you have a spell to break the window window, but you had one to mend it?

Yeah, because fixing things is a lot more helpful than breaking them, Kai.

Because I don't want to be an adventurer.

I want to be a helpful guy in my community.

I want to live a normal life.

I want to make a card game.

I want to make a card game.

Card game is pretty cool.

I will give you that one.

I disagree with some of the priors of this camp.

I'm going to put you on, nephew.

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While you guys are having this intense conversation,

Skye and Jessup,

you are nearing Yasha.

You sit down on the ground and start walking over her.

And you could just go up and tag her.

But as you walk up,

you're about 20 feet away, you hear the strangest sound, a muffled echoing across the camp that sounds like gub, gub, gub, gub, gub, gub, guv, gob, gup, gup, gub, gub, guub, gub, gob.

It's growing louder and louder and louder.

Gub gop gup.

Gub gup gup guv gop.

Then a truly bizarre sight.

A massive pig

14 feet tall with wings and four rows of teeth soars into the campground.

It lands with a thud, making this giant rhythmic grunting noise.

That sounds like it's saying gup gop gub gop gup gup gup.

I'll give you a little hint of what it looks like.

Not a hint.

This is what it looks like.

This

is the flying pig.

It has so many legs.

Unbelievable.

You'll notice that it has cat feet and chicken feet.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Is that a human in its grasp?

It does look like there's a human in its grasp.

And

that is dark foreshadowing for it lands on top of Yasha and grabs her with its with its talons.

I've just been sitting there sketching all of the kids in my in my notebook.

As it grabs Yasha, Yasha, why don't you roll a

dexterity save to see if you can resist its mighty claw?

No!

Oh no!

Disadvantaged.

Disadvantage.

Oh, no.

I don't know if that could get worse.

I mean, mean, I can.

Okay.

It's a cocktail.

That's still comfortable.

That way I'm almost back.

You said dexterity?

Uh-huh.

Four.

Cool.

It for sure got you in its grasp

and

it grabs you and shoves you in its mouth.

Wait, can I try to fight it in any way?

I mean, I guess I just did.

You just shoot.

You're in there.

You'll get a turn to try to get out soon.

But right now, it is in its, Yasha is in its mouth.

it turns to the two of you uh and snarls

what what do you want to do joseph sky

where are you right now i'm running through the camp looking for the creature like are you going roof to roof or what are you

i've i've come off of the roof of the creature and i'm kind of around the barred tent and the arena okay okay great so you're near them am i i don't know okay if you're near the barred tent and the arena, you're about 50 feet away from them.

Okay.

You can hear the gub, gub, gub, gubbing going on.

You've set down, but you can take off again if you'd like.

Okay.

I think we got to get help.

I think we got to fly.

I don't trust myself.

But time is of the essence, isn't it?

If we run off and get help, then it may, will this thing fly off?

I don't know.

I don't know.

Kids!

Kids!

Okay,

at this point, Beau has found you.

She knew where you were, so she's running up to you, full sprint, and she has arrived.

Do I see the pig?

As you round the corner to get to them, you turn and see a gigantic 14-foot-flying pig right in front of you.

Gub, go, go, go, go, go, go.

What is with this cow?

Go, go, go, go.

Get back, get back.

I'm going to run up a train and get myself between the kids and the thing.

Okay, you also, I don't think that you know that Yasha is in there

yet, unless you're going to tell her.

But yes, you get between yourself and Gub Gub the flying pig.

And

it sends a long tongue out to try to grab you as well.

If you're within sort of 15 feet of it,

I'm running towards it.

Roll an attack, terrible.

It only rolled an eight.

Okay.

I just kind of sidestep really quick and kind of do a barrel roll.

Tongue lashes out, hits nothing but dirt, and retracts.

It's your go, any of you guys, if you want to go.

I got it.

I got it.

I got to make a try for it.

I want to cast my Tasha's hideous laughter.

Great.

Do it.

You cast, flip a coin to see if your spell even works.

Please, please, please.

It works!

Okay, you cast a spell.

You use all the right components.

Your fingers expertly guiding around to make the somatic movements needlessly.

Includes a tiny cake.

That's right.

Tiny tarts and a feather.

You wave it in the air and cast this spell.

Creature that you're curious to see within range.

Okay, great.

Go ahead.

How do you make it laugh?

What are you trying to, how are you going to make it laugh?

I ask my friend to throw me

so that I can take the feather that I use for the

uh oh no, uh uh no, I've already used the feather.

I asked my friend to throw me and I and I I just try to do a big like

right in its face.

I love it, I love it.

Um your spellcasting DC

oh, it only has to roll a nine to beat you.

Natural 20.

So it's it's hilarious what you're doing, but this creature for whatever reason, doesn't get the same.

It's not the same comedy.

It's into different kind of humor.

Yeah,

it's more slapsticky, I think.

I think it's more into humor.

Leo David Sederis.

He's the New Yorker.

Yeah, he's the New Yorker.

He's a bunch of them.

Yeah, I agree with that.

I'm sorry, it doesn't work.

I don't get why it's not working.

You're hilarious.

Thank you.

It's going to lash out at the nearest creature to it again, which is Bo.

Again, it's going to roll to see if it hits you.

This is much better.

This is a 16 to hit.

Still miss.

Whoa, you're so fucking cool.

Oh, no, he cursed.

Okay, that's another miss.

This time that tongue hits you, but you shrug it off like it's nothing.

Go!

Go!

Go find the boys!

Go get help!

I'm going to try and come down with my bow staff and like just do a little slot.

Roll and attack.

Yep, 21.

Definitely hits.

Roll for damage.

Okay, okay.

What is my damage when I'm so weak?

I don't know.

Where's I need my D4s?

Here we go.

Five bludgeoning damage.

Great.

No, wait.

I said my bow staff.

That was the D8.

I'm supposed to have a big D8.

That's much better.

Ten bludgeoning damage.

Amazing.

It draws back in pain.

Ow!

And as it howls in pain, you can see in its mouth Yasha.

Hello?

Why are you going into a wing in there?

I don't know.

I was just drawing

You're still in there.

You can roll to see if you can get out.

Roll a strength check with disadvantage.

Everything's a disadvantage.

Okay.

12.

Nope.

It has you firmly in its uh there's no there's no damage or anything.

It's just got you in there.

It's you're behind two of its molars.

Do pigs have molars?

Sure they do.

Um uh what are you doing, Libe?

Are you running off?

Are you getting help?

What are you doing?

I think I'm gonna I'm I'm I'm really I'm really nervous, but I think I can use my sorcerer's burst, but I'm really starting to panic, but I really

care about you.

I've only known you for a second, but I care about you.

I think you probably are at too stress at this point go ahead and cast your sorcerer's burst

but first roll a d6 to see if it even works

a five that works it works sorcerer's burst comes out all right roll to see if you hit roll a d20 and add

I will look it up for you

A 17 that definitely hits roll for damage this is a one d8 of damage

which one is that that's you that guy right there I was gonna be like 19

Two.

You fight through the anxiety and the stress of it, knowing that your friend, your new friend is in danger.

Seeing the failure of your bestie over there, Sky, you blast true, a sorceress burst right at the pig's schnaws, and it howls in anger.

I'll see if it releases Yasha.

It does not.

I just turn around though and go.

Did you just...

Did you do that?

I did.

Fuck yeah, you did it.

No!

Swear jar!

You did it!

As you're distracted, it's gonna try another attack on you.

This one's even better!

18 plus something!

Okay, it gets you and it sucks you in.

Next to Yasha,

what would you guys like to do?

We should get our friends, I think.

Have we

been running toward the guys screaming?

You don't know where they are, I don't think.

Well, we've been running through the camp.

I'm yelling.

Screaming!

Padman, Kai, Padman.

Okay, so you're just calling out.

You guys, let's see, roll a perception check.

You're indoors.

I don't know if you can hear.

There's also when Jessup made the nine speak.

Okay.

When she did the source,

I wanted to make sure that I saw it through the mouth just a little bit.

She did it.

Okay,

six and a nine.

Wait,

how high in this sky?

Is this

pig?

Pig's 14 feet high.

14 feet high.

14 feet high.

Okay.

Yeah, well, I have an eight.

Yeah.

You guys are inside.

You don't really hear anything.

Meanwhile, I'm muffled.

So I think to get the most research for your cards, we need to look around in the admin's office and see if we can find any interesting little documents.

Does that sound cool?

Did I misunderstand the objective of the third?

I mean,

I think they got it.

But you see, they've been doing magic all day.

I think they're going to find her

super fast.

Okay.

Well, they have been doing magic all day, but also, I've watched Jessup have several panic attacks.

And I want to make sure that we're good friends.

But yeah,

I guess we can simultaneously look for Yasha and

accumulate documents to help with the card game.

Yeah.

You know?

If you burn in the hand, you kill a bird with as many stones as you have.

My dad always said that.

Yeah, let's do it.

Okay,

I'll make an investigation check.

Okay, go ahead and roll for investigation.

What are you specifically looking for?

I'm looking for Yasha with a side effect of documents.

So

Yasha and Doc.

Great, great.

So you're pouring over this.

It's a sort of

cluttered administration office.

There's file cabinets.

There's a desk.

It's an 18.

Yeah, I mean, you find

files on various campers, receipts for tuition you find some class plans?

Oh, I mean there's a camper file and if you if you wanted to search for your name specifically you sure could yeah, I'll look I'll look through it.

Okay, so as you're as you're doing that we're gonna cut back to the other people

Overcome with with fear and panic

I think I can cast jump on you and then you can jump up onto the onto this horrific pig-like creature

and maybe do an attack on them.

I'm down to try that, but my arms are like

noodles.

Before you attempt this, GovGov, it's GovGov's Go, and GovGov is going to release

a belch of

fiery smoke

that spreads out about 30 feet around it.

Both of you, I think you need to make a constitution saving throw to see if this affects you.

Seven.

Is that a nine or I can't?

That is a nine.

You can use the little

dot

as the bottom.

Nine plus four.

Constitution.

And which one is Constitution save is plus four.

Plus four.

So 13.

10 total.

Okay.

It affects both of you.

This smoke, as it sort of envelops you,

you were overcome with a sense of depression.

Oh my god, right now.

What

You have an overwhelming sense of crippling depression.

I certainly don't see a point in any of this, and also my asthma is.

Yes,

I've never felt so homesick before.

You are both sort of, you're both frozen in place for one round, and during that one round, Gub Gub, the flying pig, is going to try to take to the air, but with the added weight, it can't quite lift off.

Instead, it stomps away deeper into the campgrounds, leaving this thick cloud of smoke behind it, obscuring your vision.

As it goes away, you can hear Gub Gub, Gub Gub Gub, Gub Gub Gub, Gub Gub Gub.

From inside the pig.

Are you drunk?

Yeah,

I did it.

It was not on purpose.

I did not take a detour.

It's just I was walking by Yuz's cabin and there was a poof of smoke and it

happened.

We're in a pig now.

Getting carried away.

They were starting to believe I could see it through the mouth of this beast.

I feel so weak.

I do too.

We were bested by a

pig with cat legs and chick feet.

What have we become?

Maybe we don't deserve to be

paired.

Where are we even going?

I don't know.

Why are we not even trying to get out?

I don't know.

The kids took it out of me.

Oh no, you were crying.

I feel so defeated.

I do too, and I feel like a little depressed as well.

I feel depressed too.

Bo and Yasha feeling depressed.

Skye and Jessip feeling depressed.

Padman and Kai have found their file folders.

Awesome, dude.

Good fight.

But the things that they say about you are not good.

Oh no.

I'm depressed.

We'll get into that next time.

For now, GubGov has taken away your two junior counselors and is somewhere loose in the camp.

And it will be up to four outcasts, four oddballs.

Some might say losers, but maybe not.

Only the camp director.

The only things that are uniting you are your love for this camp and your desire to prove your worth.

But I don't know if you have what it takes to do this.

I hope that you do, but we'll find out next time.

Will you be kicked out of the camp or will you wild out instead?

We'll find out on the next episode of Wild Mount Wildlings.

Until then, thanks for joining us tonight.

I've been Sam Regal.

Special thanks to Toph Mazery for art, Tal Levistas for his piano, Sabrina for the friendship bracelets, Kyle Scheier for his amazing producing,

and the amazing kids, you don't know about them, but the audience does, the kids who helped come up with this monster,

Maximus, Kestrel, Alan, Penny, Marlowe, Greta, and Ronan.

Ronan for the amazing art of Gub Gub the Flying Pig.

I hope you all wild out.

And until next time, is it Thursday yet?

Good night.

If you like the adventure you've been on so far, consider leaving a review on your podcast platform of choice.

We're always looking for new campers to invite to Camp Wild Mount, and your review may just be the ticket to bring in a new batch of wayward would-be adventurers.

Thanks for checking back in on this adventure, and we'll see you soon this upcoming Thursday as we get ready for the next episode of Wild Mount Wildlings.

See you next time.

I'm going to put you on, nephew.

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