Legend of The Monkey's Paw

This episode of Distractible is presented to you by Amazon Prime.

Whatever you're into, it's on Prime.

And I'm into a lot.

You can't look at my order history.

I won't let anyone.

A lot of this show, I think, comes directly off Amazon.

I think we all got our coins of fairness on there.

Where'd you get your stacks of paper you scribble on, Wade?

Amazon.

Whatever it is, Prime helps you get more out of whatever passions you're into or getting into.

Head to amazon.com slash Prime and follow your obsession wherever it goes.

Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractible.

This episode, wizening Wade waxes about his whiskers and tenaciously tosses while offering Faustian deals.

Not Mercer Mark, the movie maker, marvels at tech magic, becomes a cunning linguist, and accepts amnesia.

Bookish Bob delves dungeons, prays for pain, chooses cash with calumny, and fondles fortuna.

From constitutional matters to unanimous ignorance.

Yes!

It's time for

Legend of the Monkey's Paw.

Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Distractible.

I'm today's host, for many reasons, mostly being that I had more points at the end of last episode.

It would be weird if it was any other way.

Can victors be declared any other way?

Guys?

Can't take?

What?

Technically.

Well, it could be the least points, too, if we get the golf rules.

That's out there somewhere floating around, right?

That's true, I guess, yeah.

Or it could be because one of us takes over and decides not to relinquish our powers.

We've put in protective measures.

That could never happen.

What constitutions are for?

They keep people from taking power that's not theirs.

And they always work.

That's true.

That's true.

There's no way around it, possibly.

But in this case, it was legit, probably.

And as you can tell, I'm joined as always by Mark and Bob.

Hello.

Hello.

I was really hoping on the intro that what you were pausing for was that you forgot your name because you were like, hey, Open Distractible.

I'm today's host,

Wade.

There are times, man, where I feel like I'm getting close.

You're not that older yet.

That's true.

We're pretty close to the same age, despite the fact that one of us looks like Uncle Fest and the other two look like they're in their low to mid-30s.

That's very generous of you to say.

I don't know if I meet that description anymore.

I will say, I'll say, Wade, even though you hit it earlier than us, you have stayed the same for the past like six, seven years.

Not the gray.

If you go back three or four years, there's not nearly as much gray in the beard.

Everything else is pretty much the same, but man, have I grayed a lot?

It doesn't really come through on camera, but I don't have any gray on top of my head.

My beard is starting to really like, it's just single ones, but it's gone from, oh, I have a gray to like, oh, it's getting getting kind of salt and peppery in there.

Yeah, you, you got this gradient going on, but it's a gradient.

I'll take my point.

Anyway, uh, but uh, yeah, it's just, it's always like, pew, like a gray will explode out and be super like jangly and weird.

Dude, not the jangly grays.

You got the jangles?

I got the jangles, man.

I'm, I'm covered in jangles.

Gray hair behaves differently than non-gray hair.

It's like wiry and hard hard to keep and I don't know.

It definitely has a different texture.

It's because it's so old.

Yeah, I guess so.

Hair here is kind of like soft and like, oh, it's pleasant.

Then you feel here and it's like, ugh,

what is this?

What happened?

Do you use conditioner, Wade?

Because I'm just going to go on a limb.

Say you use an all-in-one shampoo conditioner.

No, I actually have dry skin, so I use like a medicated shampoo and the normal conditioner.

This guy thinks he's better than us, which he is because he's the host.

Good call.

I remember what I was saying.

Yeah, I don't know.

I look the same except for the parts of me that don't, mainly the color of hair.

That's what my doctor keeps telling me.

You look the same, except for the parts that don't.

Good job, except for when not.

My doctor's always disappointed when my numbers come back good because he wants me to be as unhealthy as apparently he thinks I look.

I know you eat like one meal a day and like you play basketball and stuff and I'm I can't talk because I'm really overweight.

But I don't know why you get to be so skinny.

Me?

I don't feel skinny, man.

Yeah, you eat more than I eat.

When we go to places, we go to restaurants and stuff, and I'm like, oh, God, I pigged out.

And then Wade's over here, like,

this is my third steak.

I'm thinking about getting a fourth.

I'm like, what the fuck?

Like, why?

It doesn't seem fair.

I don't.

I'm glad you think I look skinny.

I do not.

My self-image is not positive there.

I'm sure you could feel healthier.

Like it, there's always room to like, I wish I was in better shape.

I'm sure that that's not, you feel that too, because that's normal.

But you just like, you don't look like me.

I look like a big guy who's like, oh, yeah, of course he eats a lot.

You look like a guy where when you eat the amount of food you eat at a Brazilian steakhouse, all the waiters are in the back and they're like, how the fuck is this dude eating?

I keep bringing him whole skewers and stuff.

He's just downing it.

Who is this Joey Chestnut?

What the?

Who is this guy?

It is impressive.

It is impressive.

I don't know what you do off hours to keep your metabolism up, but it is stunning.

I sit here or I've got a couch or I've got a tablet.

That would have been my guess, but that still doesn't make sense.

And then every now and then, like my nephews keep me somewhat active.

Every now and then, my nephew will come over, like Monday, and we'll go play basketball for a few hours.

Over the weekend, I was over at my mom's and she's got a pool.

So my nephews came over and we were tossing football in the pool.

And I mean, I was in the pool for like three hours, swimming around, jumping around like a maniac and throwing football.

I'm actually still a little bit sore, like three days later from throwing, because I hadn't thrown football like that in a while.

You didn't get sunburned at all or anything.

That's impressive.

My shoulders are necked a little bit.

I don't know if you can really tell here.

They're it's getting better'cause this was a few days ago, but I got a little bit more red.

Good skincare.

Good skincare.

Sunscreen.

and reapply after a couple hours it helps but i still got a little bit red on the back and shoulders but i stay a little bit active and unsurprisingly i can still run kind of fast just not for long distances but i i don't do as much as i should it's kind of like how i was in school i didn't work as hard in school i did do my homework but i didn't really study much i got good grades i really don't take great care of myself physically and somehow i don't look great but like i don't look as bad as i probably should I should be rotting in a ditch somewhere right now.

You're just a specimen, you know?

All the math and cocaine.

All the listeners are fuming right now because they don't know what we look like.

You know, they've never actually seen us, so they're just like,

just imagine tall and bald, tall and not bald, and then a short, furry thing with a bandana.

Tall, tall,

tall.

Come on, guys.

Tall, tall, short, furry bandana.

Furry.

You got like long hair and a little.

Yep, Mark's a furry.

Everyone knows that.

Come on, man.

We know where the zipper is.

Interpret that as you will.

I don't know what it meant either.

That's concerning.

I meant like because he he was wearing a fur suit but like i guess you can interpret that another way you think it's like the bugs bunny style of disguise where it's a zipper floor like all the way around the back

i guess this is small talk we're already small talking so you guys got anything interesting for this is not new i have been talking about this but i'm still reading the dungeon crawler carl book series and man can i just not recommend it highly enough i am in the middle of book four right now i'm in the middle of the gate of the feral gods i got to be honest, after I rushed through the first three and I was like, I'm going to slow down, okay?

Cause I was literally like reading hours.

I was staying up till two in the morning, just reading for like extra hours.

I was like, I got to know.

I love books that make you want to do that.

I'm going to take a break.

Like, I'm going to read this one, but I'm going to read it more casually.

And the first like third of book four, I was like, oh no, it's falling off.

Like, this is fine, but it's not like, and then there's a turning point, I don't know, like a quarter of the way, third of the way into the book where it went from where it was like, I want to know what happens.

I'll keep reading it to back to like, oh, I stayed up till 2:30 last night because I fucking couldn't put it down.

It's good again.

It's still good, still holds up.

Fucking great books.

Very good.

Very fun.

I want to start reading those.

And I heard, is it Laura Bailey who wrote the book that you recommended to Mark, The Tusk Love or whatever?

Which one are you talking about?

You say I recommended it like I knew about it.

I googled that.

The one you recommended, you know, Walrus's Mating Season.

It's a, you know.

Was like the Tusk Love, the Orc book.

Well, no, you're like, Mark, there's a book going around that's really popular.

I thought you'd like.

It's like the orc one, the one about orcs.

Was like the Tusk Love the Orc book.

Oh, I don't know if you recommended this.

I think it was Laura Bailey, who's like a voice actress, but also like known for critical role and stuff.

That's the one that's from Critical Role, yes.

Tusk Love.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay.

I saw that mentioned somewhere else.

I was like, I wonder if Mark picked that up.

Because you recommended it.

You told him about it.

Fia Guanzong?

Guanzan?

I don't know this person, so I'm probably pronouncing that terribly wrong.

Okay, I saw, I thought I saw something where Laura Bailey was attached to it, but I thought maybe she wrote it, but I don't know.

I mean, it's connected to critical role, so like that's possible.

Yeah, I don't know.

Okay, maybe she was just announcing it or something.

Then I don't know.

I don't want to miss because I don't know, but anyway, Mark, you read it yet?

Right it?

Read it?

Either one.

I'd be impressed if you wrote it.

Yeah, man.

Oh, great.

Are you

mark's pen name?

Thea cow.

I don't know how to pronounce my own pen name.

Sorry.

I'm actually on critical role.

It's me, Matt Mercer.

That'd be the cool reveal.

Not the best.

I want to say the best.

Not that I prefer Matt Mercer over you, but like also kind of like.

He does.

Don't listen to it.

Jesus, man.

Come on, fuck.

No, you're great.

You're great, man.

You've been a great friend, but like...

Matt Mercer.

Look, we'll get him in here.

Replace me on the podcast.

No one will know the difference.

Look, I'll give you a point.

I'll give you a point.

Oh, that's worth it.

Oh, wait.

You can insult us and we get points for that?

Wait, get me.

Come on.

Come at me.

Oh, hurt me.

I don't know if you want this, wait.

I'm not a masochist.

Hurt me.

I don't know if you want this.

You can torture me as much as I want.

I just gave you a free hurt me point.

Mark, I actually hurt, but you just gave you the free point.

I deserve this.

It's fine.

So what's new other than, you know, not being Matt Mercer?

Just gotta keep rubbing that in, then.

There's nothing else going on, you know, besides not that.

I think about that every day.

I wake up.

I'm like, I'm not Matt Mercer.

I got a bad, I'm not Matt Mercer.

Maybe I'll wake up Matt Mercer tomorrow.

Then wake up.

No!

Rebrand tomorrow.

You wake up.

You're like, I'm Mercer Plier.

I was in an elevator with him once.

Did I tell you that?

Yeah, that's pretty cool.

It didn't say anything.

No, no, I like that.

I have stories like that where it's like, oh, you know, I was on a, oh, who is that?

Who is that comedian?

The Richie Anderson?

Oh, what was that?

Bobby's World?

Oh, no.

What was that guy's name?

While you're thinking it up, we were on an elevator.

I don't know if you guys remember when we were in Las Vegas doing the Your Welcome Tour.

We were on the elevator.

I remember that.

That was really funny.

On the elevator?

The artwork was on the elevator, like at the place we were staying.

I have a picture of that, yeah.

And I guess Distractibles also have been like on a big billboard in New York City and stuff, which is also pretty cool.

Didn't get to see that one in person.

I wish I had.

Louis Anderson.

He's not the guy who does Wonderful World.

That's a different...

It's a completely different name, yeah.

Just want to make sure everyone knew that.

He is deceased, unfortunately, but I was on a flight with Louis Anderson, and he's hard to miss because he's one of those guys where he's very like loud and funny, and he's cracking jokes with everybody.

He was like in first class on this plane, and I was like boarding the plane, walking back to my peasant seats, and I just literally like his face was there, and I was like, fuck, that's Louis Anderson.

Oh, wow.

That's the whole story, but it was cool.

Was he everything he said?

I imagine is a joke.

No, he was hilarious.

He was like, he was like making friends because they seated him like ahead of time, right?

He got like special, special treatment because he's pretty famous, whatever.

And he was like cracking jokes with the flight attendant people.

And like the pilots came back and shook his hand.

And he was like, ah, can I get some wings?

It was like, it was funny.

He was a funny guy.

Oh, the pilot wings.

I thought you felt like chicken wings.

I was like, wow, what a request.

The pilot came back and started,

you guys served chicken wings on this plane.

But yeah, I didn't talk to him or anything.

Just was near him.

Very funny.

Cool.

Cool memory.

Oh, he did pass away a few years ago.

That's sad.

I looked.

Yeah, I remember.

He's got, yeah, I guess he would stay now.

He's got like one of those faces

you would recognize.

I think he has a unique voice, too, right?

Probably does, yeah.

He has a pretty recognizable voice, yeah.

Mark, do you do anything cool?

I don't know.

Um, I'm uh entering in the final phases of the movie, as I've said forever.

Final stretch, guys.

Final stretch.

Final stretch.

Oh, man.

One thing that I marvel at is that this has been going on so long and I've learned so much that I see kind of I see an arc of technology progressing and certain things that apply to this as I've made it because it's like with the the software that I'm using to edit it, DaVinci Resolve, which everyone should use.

I don't know why.

It's free.

It's free.

The YouTube ready version is free.

And then the paid version is one-time payment.

Anyway, I want to tell everyone to switch to DaVinci.

You should and you won't regret it.

But Houdini is also a software that I've been learning and they just came out with like Houdini 21.

And this is one of the things where, like to bring it back here to talk about it again is like I just showed Bob and Wade a clip from the sneak pre sneak peek of it.

There's a there's a part in there around one minute in that is so simple.

It's cookies being mashed up, mixed with milk, blended, and then they add like this kind of mousse and then whipped cream on it.

And you would think like, oh, you know, that seemed pretty simple.

But if you know anything about CG and you look at that and look at you know anything about simulations and you watch it, you'll look at it and be like, I would never be able to, I mean, maybe,

but it's so good.

It is so astonishingly good in the simplicity of making a mocha for Appuccino kind of drink with mixed cookies in there look that realistic in CG.

It's stunning.

And so, seeing this arc of progress and the things that I like about it is because I know, as an individual, if I really wanted to now, I mean, you could do something kind of similar in Blend.

I don't think Blender really has that functionality to do those kind of material mixings in simulations.

I felt like a kid again because I used to watch these tech demos for Unreal Engine and like Half-Life 2.

I would watch tech demos all the time and I would love to see the March of Progress.

And now again, I look at that and I'm like,

oh,

and I can show it to other people and I can be like, you know what I'm looking at this.

It's like, and it's crazy because that's exactly how I felt when I was watching it again.

And it's still happening.

That's so fun.

And I know probably, you know, people are like, you can just put it in Google View and get that.

It's like, no, but this is, this is something you can control.

That's the, that's the thing about this versus AI is like you depend on the randomness of the system when you plug something into AI, but you can control it.

You can craft it.

You can specifically put it in a way that you want it to happen.

And you can also do random permutations in it.

That's why I think Houdini is such a powerful software.

It's not as friendly for me to recommend it because it is much, much more expensive, but they do have starter versions to get into it.

Yeah, well, that's like pro software, right?

Yeah, yeah, that's super pro.

Not that DaVinci is not, but DaVinci is layered in a way where there's the free one and then there's the, you can pay for it.

Well, they do have a free version of Houdini.

You can learn on it for free and that's fine.

But Houdini runs like the top of the top CG software is what Houdini does.

It's the absolute pinnacle of simulation stuff.

You can debate like the renderers for like making 3D look realistic.

And I think theirs looks good, but it's the simulations that is so far above everyone else's that there's no reason to use anyone else's simulations if you're doing the absolute highest end work possible.

That's where it stands.

It is at the top end.

And usually I'm of the type where it's like, if I'm going to learn something, I would like to learn something that's specific to what I'm doing and the highest end of it.

Even if it's so complex that you give me three years alone in a cabin, I still wouldn't know all of it.

But I think it's so cool just watching that cookie.

You can rent Houdini core for one year for $1,300.

It includes five karma.

What the hell does that mean?

That's different.

No, you want the Houdini Apprentice for the free one.

Houdini Apprentice, you can actually download it all, get it going for free.

It'll have like a watermark on there.

But what if I want the five karma?

I love karma.

That's good, right?

Yeah, man.

Dude, I got a bunch of karma renderers that I'm not using because it doesn't fully work on Mac right now.

They're fixing that.

I need to build up my Karma.

I want to go to heaven one day.

Yeah.

No, it gets very expensive because, you know, admittedly, there's a small customer base that's buying this stuff.

It's usually just top N VFX Studios.

And it's like, considering there's really not many other options, they can charge whatever they want.

But they do want people to learn it.

And I think that they have more accessible pricing for individuals who are trying to do it.

That was like a commercial use, not just like individual or education.

I'd say Blender is still probably the best thing to get started on because a lot of those will get translated over, especially geometry nodes in Blender.

People probably generally don't know what I'm talking about.

Geometry nodes in Blender were recently added in version 4, I believe.

And they function in a similar way to the node-based hierarchy of the way that Houdini structures its nodes, where things are procedural and you can have things that affect other things and you can have math relations to everything.

You know, it's, it's cool to see.

So I still recommend Blender, but you can start learning on Houdini for free with their apprentice version.

And I will say the video you were talking about that started this, you showed me this before we started recording this episode and I kind of like blew it off.

I was like, okay, the lighting is good, I guess.

Look at how they blended their cookie drink.

Like, who cares?

It was so good.

I didn't even realize it was CG.

I thought it was just a video of someone blending a drink.

And I was like, yeah, man, I can go to like a Starbucks Starbucks and watch that happen.

I don't know.

Whoa, look at the blender work.

Whoa.

And then you said it was CG, and I was like, win second, what?

Yeah, it's really, really cool.

Did you guys do that?

Like tech demos growing up, watching those, the game tech demos all the time?

Do I look like the guy who watched tech demos growing up?

How about like the cinematics?

You've definitely watched the game cinematics growing up, right?

I watched the ones on Diablo 2 a lot.

That's a good example of it.

Like the way that Blizzard progressed CG cinematics.

They were probably one of the big pioneers of it.

Yeah, I just watched it in the game when I played it.

Didn't watch anything about the making.

But they were cool, right?

You liked them, right?

They were great.

I don't know if Blizzard's still the number one as far as the cinematic stuff goes, but like for a long time, they had the market on like their cinematics would blow you out of the water.

When Diablo 2 came out in like what, 98 or 99 and those cinematics were in the game, it was like mind-blowing that that was being done.

Oh, yeah.

It's crazy.

I don't know who has the market on that now.

Maybe it's still in, but like, it was nuts.

I know 4 had some good cinematics, but like, Blizzard obviously doesn't have the reputation it did 20 years ago.

Yeah, there's a lot.

I think weirdly enough, League of Legends probably has some pretty, pretty high-end cinematics, I think.

I haven't seen many of them, but I don't know.

It's kind of

jaded because I was like, ah, it doesn't seem like there's a lot of progress, or I don't get excited about it anymore, but I got excited about Houdini 21.

I'm excited about it.

Any other small talk before we jump in?

Nope.

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Oh, yeah, how fast?

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So, I got an episode for us today.

And last episode, I was a little inspired to do this because we talked a lot about monkeys.

So, I figured in this episode, we would do monkey.

No, I'm just kidding.

It's not monkeys.

We're going to have some monkey's paw situations.

I'm going to offer you all some deals.

Oh, no.

And the deals all have a little bit of a monkey's paw.

And let's see if you still accept it or not.

We get to know what the monkey's paw is?

Yeah.

Okay, okay.

I thought we were going to.

Usually, there might be exceptions.

Okay, all right, okay.

And just in case there's anyone listening who doesn't know what monkey's paw is referring to, but obviously I do.

But what is that?

Oh, I thought you were going to explain it.

Monkey's Paul.

I don't know if the story was actually called Monkey's Paul.

Is it called The Monkey's Paw?

Yeah, I think it is literally.

The original story is about a monkey's paw.

Long story short, there was a paw and it had three fingers, I think, extended, and you could use the paw and make a wish.

Every time you made a wish, one of the fingers would curl up to leave the two wishes you had left.

One wish you had left, zero wishes you had left.

Isn't it also in Phasmophobia?

Like, could they have that item or a game like that?

Yeah, they added something similar to that, yeah.

But the thing about the wishes were is there was always a catch.

So, spoiler alert for anyone who wants to read the story.

I'm pretty sure the way it starts off is this family finds the monkey's paw, they make a wish, and they're like, one of their first wishes was, oh, I sure hope we get enough money to pay this thing.

And then somebody shows up at their house and is like, hey, here's this exact amount of money you need to pay your mortgage.

Also, your son died in a horrible accident.

You got this money because it was the amount that we owe you in case he died at work.

So the monkey's paw, the catch was they got their money, but at the expense of their son's life.

It was pretty severe.

That doesn't seem worth it.

Yeah, that seems not nice.

That's what we're going to find out.

How much do you guys want what the good is to see if it's worth getting the bad?

Okay, do we are we accumulating this so that by the end of this, we see who's more powerful and then we duel like, you know, two gods that we are, but with all the drawbacks.

That's not in the plan, but you two are welcome to try.

You know, like the piss boy, pissman, and the other one.

Pissman v shitman.

I don't think, was that the matchup?

There wasn't.

Please don't let this be the 4th of September.

Hold on, let me check the calendar.

When is the 4th of September?

Ah, it's a Thursday this year.

You're safe.

Okay, we'll save the poop episode for then.

All right, I guess we'll see who goes first.

Bob, I'm gonna let you call it.

You want heads or tails to go first?

Tails.

Tails, Bob goes first.

If it's heads, Mark goes first.

Yes.

bob goes first that's fair that was a good that was one of my better flips i want to say i'm not good at flipping a coin that was one of my better flips i didn't hear it but i and i wasn't looking honestly i was didn't have didn't have the distinct pating that mark is capable of but i heard it but my microphone didn't pick it up i i did hear the good pating i'm watching the sneak peek and also i have a tab open with the subreddit where i'm what reading people's opinions on it you're going for that most distracted point i'm going to give bob the paying attention point well i can open more tabs wait is this competition well if you give If you give him a paying attention point, then it completely negates if I get the distracted point.

Come on, man.

Yeah, that really worked out for me.

You got a lot of points for Houdini already.

Okay, that's fair.

All right.

So, Bob, I'm going to start off with you.

And you both are going to get the same prompts, so you can both debate this or whatever.

But, Bob, starting with you.

You get to be rich and famous, but it's over something embarrassing, and it's all you'll ever be known for.

I feel like I'm taking that.

Well, so I guess it's about something embarrassing.

Is it about something that's generally embarrassing or something that would be absolutely embarrassing to me?

Because, like, I'm, we've been on the internet for a while.

I've done lots of embarrassing, embarrassing shit on the internet, right?

But, like, I've grown out of that.

There's not anything that I think exists of me online where I look at it and I'm like, actually embarrassed anymore.

It's like, yeah, that was stupid.

Oh, well.

When I wrote this, it was something like you weren't intending.

Like, this isn't like, if you think of like the Hoctua thing, right?

Like, she did an interview where she like, yeah, Hoctua spit on that thing and it blew up, but she like willingly did that interview and did the thing.

This is like, I don't know, you were walking around and someone like pants you or something in the wrong one.

Like this isn't something you wittingly or did embarrassing.

This is something embarrassing that embarrasses you and it's what you get known for.

I still feel like I would probably take that.

I guess the one thing for this that's tough for me is I don't actually, this is a silly thing to say given what we're doing right now, but I don't really want to be famous.

That's yeah, I included that too because the fame part.

We're people follow us, people watch this show, people watch my YouTube channel, whatever, but like I'm not famous, not famous in the way that like Chris Hemsworth is or

like whatever, like famous people who are that's their thing.

I don't really want to be that kind of famous, but it would be hard to say like, assuming I'm starting over and I'm just some an average person and I'm going to have like a career and a nine to five job and whatever, or I could be famous and wealthy because of that, and it has to be just from some embarrassing thing that happened.

I feel like I would still take that.

Okay.

And it's all you'll ever be known for is a tie.

Like, no matter what you do, you're known for that embarrassing thing.

I feel like that would be to have, to have, like, the kind of freedom that that gives you in terms of like, you, you're not tied, you know, if you're, if you have money and you're, you're famous and you can kind of do what you want, you kind of pursue what you want to have that.

I feel like that's hard to pass up, even with an embarrassing thing at the core of it.

It will be annoying, but I I feel like I would take that.

I feel like I would take that.

Yeah, the thing about it is you don't get to control what embarrassing thing it is, so it's kind of random, but assuming it's something that really sincerely embarrasses me, whatever it may be, I think it's still probably like, because I guess what I'm assuming is, too,

that dulls after a while, right?

Even if you're the person who gets famous because you, well, I don't know, something, you did something insane, you chopped your own dick off accidentally or something, and it's like, that's the only thing you're known for.

Even if it was something that you couldn't get rid of, your personal feeling of embarrassment about it doesn't stay at the same intensity the whole time.

The longer you live your life, the more you can kind of be like, oh, whatever.

Unless it becomes a spiraling disorder that destroys you and eats you from within.

You can always have that.

That's possible.

So, Mark, you taking the deal?

What did Bob say?

I'm taking it.

He's taking the deal.

I mean, I think I'm suited for this too, because it's just like, I don't really care what people say, but it does depend on how embarrassing it is.

You don't get to control that.

All right, you don't get to control, but it's extreme.

It's extremely embarrassing.

This is kind of like a, imagine a wheel of embarrassing.

It could be extremely embarrassing, but odds are, I mean, at the very least, it's something you don't want to be known for.

It's not like an embarrassing thing of just like, you went and shot yourself in the leg with an airsoft gun or something.

This is like.

Someone is embarrassing you.

It goes viral.

That's what you're known for.

Like, I'm the Kony 2012 guy, and I'm, but I didn't do Kony 2012.

I just was on the corner of the street slapping the ground and screaming at them.

That's all.

That's all.

Yeah.

I've not taken it.

No.

I made it pretty far without too much embarrassment for myself.

So I'm like, I believe in myself.

I think I was always destined to be a big YouTuber.

I think

the common man, just not who I roll with, you know, I'm not normal.

I'm built different already.

Don't need no monkey.

Changing my paws and changing my future.

Interesting.

I like how passive Wade is sometimes with our big decisions.

Just like we say it is like, cool.

All right.

Yeah, okay.

Mark, you go first on this.

All right, I'm ready.

You can speak and understand every language, but you lose your sensation of taste.

You can no longer taste anything.

And you understand and speak everything perfectly.

Why did you you just flip?

Don't worry about it.

You know, not every game has to have a secret component, Wade.

You could have just like a normal game.

Maybe I'm just bored and flipping a coin, man.

Wade's secret words part four.

Speaking every language is a unique ability that would be an extremely in-demand skill.

It would be fascinating, number one, but to have a native level ability of every language.

Every language, you're saying.

Even like undiscovered ones or dead ones.

Dead ones or only current ones?

Every language.

especially if it's dead ones it would be of such a value that i would say like okay i'm willing to lose my taste to be the person that could decode ancient literature or things like that like be the person with that knowledge yeah i would take it yeah bob mark raised an interesting point with the dead language thing because that would be that would be very interesting in terms of just being able to like learn things about humanity's history.

But actually, I don't like history and I find that really tedious.

And I don't think I would want to live a life where I couldn't enjoy I've been talking about this a lot lately and it's really not self-loathing but I'm big for a reason I really like food I really like cooking one of my favorite things to do is to cook and to grill and like that would ruin that completely I'm pretty sure I'd lose interest in cooking if the result was tasteless every single time no matter how much effort I put in I really like food.

It's a core part of what I do on a daily basis.

I don't think I could live if I lost my sense of taste.

So I think I'm going going to pass on all the knowledge about all of humanity's history and deep into the don't care, okay?

I have a, I have a, I have a, a pork butt currently brining getting ready.

It's, I'm, I want to taste that when it's done, okay.

I think it's so funny if, because if I did have the legs and I go into like one of the ancient caves and I read some cane paintings and I just like, I just start busting out laughing because I know the real meaning behind it.

And everyone's like, oh, it's a human history.

I'm like,

this guy was super racist, guys.

This is this is like the one, the original tweet from this guy's career.

This game was a horrible person,

anyway.

But uh, yeah, what were we talking about?

You discover that all the old languages that you can now understand are just recipes you can never enjoy.

That would be the most torture.

That's right.

No, I still got it.

I'll still take it out.

I'll do that.

Bob, you're first on this one, I think.

You can manipulate luck in your favor, but every time you do or use it it's at someone else's misfortune so i actually think of that i think it's a vine or a meme all right now jeremy if you push this red button you'll get one million dollars and the guy's just like

wait wait wait someone dies someone dies every time you push it

man that could go in so many ways though do i get to know who it affects or is it just some random person somewhere you don't get to know who it affects or what happens you just know something bad happens to someone.

Is it proportionally bad?

Like, what if I make little things go my way and then someone else like hits all the red lights on the way to work or something?

Or is it like if I use the power, some bad thing happens and mighty might be someone dying?

You could cure world hunger and someone could stub their toe, or you could be like, oh man, I wish my nails looked better and then 10 people die.

Like, you don't really know if it's proportional or not.

That's a risk I'm willing to take because it's not a hard and fast thing.

There's so many ways where you'd be like, all right, I'm going to, I'm going to craft a scenario where I am manipulating luck one time, and that's going to lead to me solving all of the world's problems and becoming rich beyond my wildest dreams.

If one person dies as a result of that, that's pretty fucked up, actually.

It's a risk I'm willing to take.

Okay.

I don't know.

That's an interesting one.

I feel like, you know, in my head,

it has to be proportional, right?

If I'm like, let's catch this elevator elevator, and I do that, like someone else somewhere missed an elevator or something equivalent, but that's not how you're saying it's working.

But that's if I don't have to know what the consequences are anyway, in my head, that's how I imagine it works.

So then you can just like, yeah, I can rationalize.

I rationalize lots of stuff.

The ignorance is bliss approach.

Mark, you taking the deal?

I think, yeah, but you know, let's just think about that time where there was a Russian early missile detection system, and there was a guy who got an alert that there were American missiles coming, and his job was to press a button to fire a retaliatory strike.

Would that be one of those situations where there's luck that he didn't do that and we're not all dead?

Is that the extreme with which this could go?

I mean, I guess that's a moment where you could manipulate luck.

It could be as subtle or as extreme as you can imagine, but so can the consequence.

You know, when you're playing a video game, you got Chico's on.

Ruins the video game.

It ruins it.

Part of life is about not knowing what's coming.

Not knowing which way the hand of fate's going to twist your nipple.

So I got to go know.

All right, well, something bad happens.

You know, it was Bob.

If I can find a way to target my bad luck, I'll just have to pick one Patsy to absorb all the luck.

Just one poor person suffers for everything Bob wants.

One loser who's just going to take everything for us so that nobody else has to deal with it.

Oh, man, I left the roast in the oven too long.

It's going to be burnt.

I'll pick a bad person.

Then it's cool.

They weren't bad.

they're just incredibly unlucky.

Well, I'll make sure that they're bad.

Was it unlucky that Hitler had his art rejected from that art school?

Someone else manipulated luck, it just so happened to hit him that way and led to that.

Yeah, what a crazy interpretation of events that would be, Mark.

You have perfect memory,

but every night you relive your worst moments in your dreams.

Well, I mean, that's just life for everyone, right?

Right, right, guys.

Everyone's already doing that, right?

Maybe, but you remember it.

I feel like that's one of the skills where it would be really interesting to have that, but how useful is it really other than kind of a fun trick to be like, you were wearing a blue teal shirt with like a mustard stain on the left shoulder at exactly 6.37 p.m.

I think it would be really fun, but reliving worst memories every night.

Which you can already remember in vivid detail anyway, because you remember everything perfectly, but this you're forced to relive it every night.

Yeah, I don't know about that one, Chief.

I kind of like having a little bit of ignorance in my life.

I like forgetting some things.

I think that's valuable.

It's nice that memory is imperfect.

And hey, we don't need to have things in such vivid detail all the time.

Reliving good memory, sure, would be nice, but I don't spend most of my days recalling memories anyway.

So, what do I need them?

All right, so you're saying no?

I think I got to say no, yeah.

Bob, perfect memory, but you relive your worst moments every night.

Yeah, I think a lot of the key to my, I've been trying to take the opposite position from Mark just because I'm trying to win here and playing the game a little bit, but I think the key to my general happiness that I am able to achieve is because I'm able to just forget stuff that would otherwise really piss me off or depress me if it hung around all the time and I couldn't forget things and let stuff go.

I kind of got to go with Mark on this one, I think.

That sounds bad.

No, you don't need to sound so distressed.

Yeah, it does feel bad to go with Mark.

I understand.

Okay, you know.

Yeah, no, I hate, I hate that that's where I'm at right now, you know?

But it's a tough position to be in, but I sympathize.

I'm glad I won't remember this.

This is my worst memory.

When you get into an argument, you were always factually right.

You're always right.

But everyone will always think you're wrong.

Story of my life, bro.

Story of my life.

I'm already living that one.

Isn't that just world?

Nah,

that doesn't sound very fun.

I'm going to pass on that one.

I win most of the argument.

Well, that's not true to say most, but a lot of the arguments I have, and especially ones that I win and have a good time with, I'm not factually right.

That's not the thing that makes you win an argument.

And that's a very lawyer thing of me to say, but like,

you argue with emotions and you argue with,

you're making points.

You're not stating facts.

That's not an argument.

that's just like a lecture so i'm not worried about it i like arguing with bullshit and jokes and that those are not factually accurate things okay mark always right i feel like this is one where i could technically leverage this in a way that could glean me information beyond my normal means or it limits your arguments to always be ones in which you're correct you don't really know how the universe is going to shape it man god damn it is that what it is is Is that what it is?

This monkey doesn't seem very certain.

What if you can create objective truth because you're right no matter what you say?

Yeah, you're just going to go start up an argument and you're like, bullshit, and you're like, this is now a law of physics.

The universe converts itself to me.

You have the reality stone at your disposal.

Like, I say, no, the earth really is flat to be like everyone believes round, but the earth just...

And everyone's like, it's it's a round earth, but now it's flat.

And I have to go like, no, it's actually round.

It's flat, you dumbass.

You know, I didn't think that deeply into it, so I guess

take it as you will.

I want that power.

Give me that power.

That sounds great.

I don't care which way the wind blows on that one.

I have, I'm basically a god at that point.

Markeemi and Rhapsody.

Anyway, the wind blows, I decide.

The wind's not blowing.

There's never been a moon.

There's two.

I don't know why, but the crocodile dungey just popped into my head.

Like, that's not a knife.

And the guy's holding the thing, and it just goes,

and it's like a banana.

Yes, it is, you idiot.

Look at it.

That's not a knife.

He's British, right?

Well, I mean, you know, even if he wasn't, they're all the same anyway, right?

Yeah, aren't Australians just upside-down British people or whatever?

Yeah, if you spell British backwards.

It's like, shittish.

That's not how that works.

Sorry, Britton.

This is sarcasm, guys.

It's a joke.

Slash joke slash J.

No, Mark, it's not a joke.

Americans are just so stupid.

We don't even know.

It's just an American thing.

Are we unhinged or hinged?

Oh, I'm super.

I'm the hinge.

I'm super hinged.

I'm hinged at him gourd.

Mark, you can read minds, but only when it's something negative about you.

Huh.

It's like finding something based on where it isn't, right?

You're deducing down.

So the less you hear, the closer you are to getting them to like you, right?

I think I still could work with that because reading minds in general is interesting.

And I don't care what people say about me anyway.

Well, I do care what my closer friends and family say.

So I think you guys, yeah, you know,

your true feelings would come through.

That would affect me.

But I think that I could then act on it.

I feel like I could work with that.

I'll take it.

Maybe.

Oh,

okay, maybe not.

You're locked in.

All right.

Thanks, man.

Contract signed.

What if the one of the twists at the end of this episode is that everything we pick just comes comes true and starts happening?

I would be the best host in the world if I had those kind of powers.

Are we doing this?

Are we doing this?

Are we not?

Boy,

I'll snap my fingers right now.

Bob, you can read minds, but only when it's something negative about you.

Nah, I think this is connected to the same idea for me as the memory thing.

I don't hang a lot on what people say about me.

I don't get super offended.

That's a very useful skill in the world that we live in, especially being online the way we are.

But in the world in general, people will just say and do and think a lot of mean shit.

But not hearing it makes it way easier to not care.

I think if I was constantly bombarded with that, it would be a different reality than like right now.

I can be like, I don't think this person likes me, and I'm sure they might be thinking terrible things about me, but I honestly just can't imagine what they are and couldn't fucking care less.

And I can just like write that off because I don't have to think about it.

I just skate through life without knowing anything or thinking anything.

That's how I maintain my happiness.

Knowing things sucks.

Thinking?

Hard.

He's right.

He's right.

God damn it.

He's right.

Like, I see Mark's side too, though, where, like, there's certain circumstances where that could be incredible information to have to kind of work with.

But the people that are close to you, like family and friends, would be really tough to hear like the, oh, well, this guy ever just shut the fuck up that I'm sure everyone thinks when they're in a room with me.

Yeah.

God, yeah.

Oh.

Bob, you can time travel, but only up to a minute forward or back.

And there are some unpredictable ripples whenever you do it.

Is that the drawback?

Only a minute forward or back.

And there are some unpredictable ripples when you do it.

Give.

I take.

Give to me.

I do.

Oh, so like he's jumping a minute back, but it's like a slightly adjacent timeline every time he does.

So it's like things are just ever so slightly.

Yeah, something is slightly different whenever you use it.

I'll take it.

Just keep rolling the dice until I get to the dimension I want.

So like you can go back and change something a minute ago, but something else out of your control changes.

Yeah, if you end up in a bad timeline, you're like, oh, better jump another minute.

Hang on.

He's right.

He's right.

God damn it.

He's right.

You take it.

Okay, Mark, would you take it?

I'm trying to think this one through because a minute's not a lot, but it's just enough.

Imagine a slot machine.

You sit down at a slot machine, you bet it all, and you just keep jumping back one minute at a time until you hit the maximum jackpot.

That's a lot of potential power there.

for a few unpredictable ripples.

I think of the movie Butterfly Effect.

Have you seen that one with Ashton Kutcher, I believe?

I know, but I've not seen it.

Like, I know the whole premise.

And then, you know, he wakes up one time and, you know, his arms and legs are blown off for whatever reason that they were blown off for, and then he ends up going back in time and strangling himself in the womb.

The only natural recourse.

Sorry, spoiled the movie, Fred.

I can't imagine what kind of effects that might spread through the universe.

You better get the stream planned now for apologizing for your butterfly effect position.

I'm glad these are making you guys have to think.

I was like, I hope this list is compelling.

I think also this is like the cheat code philosophy that I had.

Like even if it was like subtle ripples, you jump back, you know, because you wanted to try again at something, like you go flirt with someone and it didn't work.

Reading minds wasn't a cheat code?

Well, they're only saying negative things.

I don't know.

I think the drawback is enough.

For this one, it's like, I think the benefit that you get out of it would spoil the experience of life because you constantly be like, rah, redo that.

I stubbed my toe.

No, I didn't, bonk.

You know, I think you'd get too casual with it real quick.

It would spiral out of control.

Okay, so you're saying no.

Got a real Adam Sandler-click scenario going on, is what you're saying.

Oh, he didn't even have any consequences.

I think he spoiled his chances there.

That was a consequence-free remote.

Well, his consequence was sometimes life would skip more than he wanted it to.

Like, he fast-forwarded to the end.

Well, then, you don't skip.

Learn to press the button right, dumbass.

You know, I think that's...

He had a rewind button, didn't he?

Why didn't he just go back?

Did he have a rewind button?

You'd think a remote would, but I don't remember him ever going backwards, did he?

I don't actually remember him ever rewinding, but I haven't seen that movie in a while.

Yeah, it's been a long time for me, too.

Yeah.

Well, then just don't forward that much, buddy.

I have a feeling I know how this one's going to go for you, but Mark, you no longer will ever feel embarrassed, but you lose your filter and you say every thought that comes to mind without being able to control it.

I'm not going to do that.

Because I don't feel that embarrassed about much much anyway.

And so it's like everyone has thoughts popping in their head that don't need to be voiced.

But you wouldn't feel embarrassed about it.

Shamelessly.

I mean, you would.

You would feel no embarrassment.

Yeah, you're right.

You're right.

You know, hey, ignorance is probably bliss in this case.

I mean, all those deep inner thoughts you want to get out there, you could without worrying.

You could.

Bob, would you?

You could.

I guess what I'm debating is I see this as kind of like a superpower.

I don't really feel embarrassed about stuff that I think a lot of people might think, like, oh, that's embarrassing that that's out there.

But there are definitely things where it's like, for James, I wish I had less fear of embarrassing myself for his benefit.

I wish I would just dance in public and just goof around and like do silly voices or pray.

But I have that voice in my head where it's like, oh, I don't want these people are going to think I'm crazy if I just start like met.

I don't.

shouldn't I do, but I shouldn't give a shit what people think if I'm just having a good time like being silly to entertain James or to have fun with him and I've like that's where I'm like if I could if I could get rid of that or like taking my shirt off at the pool.

I'm an adult man.

I've done that plenty of times and every time I go to a public pool I'm still like oh I don't

people are gonna see it's like I shouldn't care.

I wish I was a little fitter been skinnier, but like I look how I look the shirt doesn't hide the fact that I'm overweight from anyone who looks at me in real life.

But if I could avoid those feelings, I feel like it would make me a funner and better version of myself.

But the con, the negative is really tough.

You'd embarrass the shit out of him when he's older.

Because I feel like there's a lot of, though, there's people in the world who are like, I have no filter.

I just say what I mean.

I'm honest.

And it's like, there's a difference between being honest and having no sense of context and like having no, giving no shits about like what exactly your words are going to do in this exact moment.

You don't have to say everything you think right when you think it, but that doesn't mean you can

you're just avoiding saying things.

You can still criticize people and bring up fair points and do it in a way where nobody is going to like punch you in the face or be embarrassed in front of all of their family or like context is important, right?

You want to be honest, but you want to be honest and respectful of what the context is where you're trying to be honest.

I feel like I couldn't live with that, but I really, really want to get rid of the feeling feeling embarrassment about stupid things because who cares?

Like, if I dance around in public and look really silly, why should I care?

We also have those like crazy intrusive thoughts, something you don't actually think or feel, but you just have like an intrusive thought that's like, where the fuck, what the fuck is that?

So you're saying yes or no, ultimately?

I would have to pass.

Mainly because I know that having no filter whatsoever, just saying whatever you think when you think it, it's just going to hurt people.

It's just going to be shitty, right?

I'm pretty plain and honest with people of my life, but I'm also not an asshole.

And that's very much a conscious decision because it's really easy to be an asshole.

And if you don't care what people think of you, it's really low consequences for you.

But I don't want to be that person.

I have to pass, I guess.

But man, wouldn't it be so sick if you never felt embarrassed about anything you did in public?

God, that would be nice.

You could be naked slapping the corner every day of your life, shouting at the rooftops, you know?

I would love that for me.

Pretending to be a monkey at security guards or vice versa?

You can put salmon on every toilet and wouldn't care.

Yeah.

I really enjoyed last episode.

Can you tell?

I keep bringing it up.

I don't think the salmon person was embarrassed at all.

I think they had a great time.

Yeah, that's true.

They were very happy.

I think we'll do one more here.

Bob, you can speak to and understand animals, but you can't tune it out.

Even like insects crawling around your house, when they're talking, you can hear them.

You can't tune it out.

Can they

said speak to and understand so they can understand me too?

Yep.

Ignorance is bliss.

I don't want to know what people are thinking.

I don't even really want to know what most people are saying.

I definitely don't want to know what insects have to say.

It would be fascinating.

It would be a good time, but if I could never tune it out, nah, pass.

I don't really know how loud they would be.

So maybe like, you know, you're not going to hear like an ant down in the kitchen if you're in bed, but like, you know, if something's crawling in your room.

Yeah, I don't think they would be louder than they really are.

But I mean, if you have to talk to an ant, I'm sure you need to.

But there's like insects everywhere, right?

And that means if there's there's like a fly in your room flying around, that he's yelling at you every time he flies in front of your face.

Like, there's a poop.

Oh, where's a poop?

I smell it.

I know it's here.

Oh, where is it?

I'm good.

I'll live.

I'll survive.

I think that...

Every time you would speak to an insect, it would be an eldritch god situation where you say to the fly, you're not speaking at first, but you're hanging, and then you just say, stop.

And it just like

mid-air, like,

it starts screaming in panic, but you're just like i see you like you mosquitoes of the woods i have poisoned my flesh stay back if you just said in like in your is this telepathy or do you have to say it out loud speak to i'm thinking you say out loud like you talk out loud okay i would just anytime i wanted bugs to leave me go i go run run run you know and then they'd probably be like if you heard a voice in the sky just suddenly speaking your language like run i'm i'm running you know if i hear the clouds start shouting at me i'm running You know?

So

I think you could clear it up.

Run and tell everyone to stay away from this place.

Run, run.

And then, you know, I, you know, depends on their level of intelligence, I guess, but yeah.

Okay, but honestly, what value is there, really, in talking to animals?

This sounds really mean.

Like,

you can have a real conversation with Chica.

He already does.

Yeah, I do.

She understands me perfectly, and I understand her.

Father,

I love you.

I love you.

Oh, and I'm back to where I love you.

I don't know.

Maybe there's value.

Maybe there's not.

Depends what you do with it.

I don't know.

I don't think there's that much value in it.

That it would be worth hearing all of it all the time.

I don't have tinnitus, but occasionally I'll get like ringing in my ears.

And I'm like, I can't imagine living always like this.

Oh, I kind of like this one.

I want to do one more.

I lied.

We're doing one more because I like this one.

You're the host.

All right, Mark, you're granted one wish.

There's a consequence, but you'll never learn what the consequence was.

Just you'll know that there was one.

But you get to have any wish.

This is just describing the monkey's paw.

This is the monkey's paw.

Well, monkey's paw, you usually find out the consequence.

This one, you're guaranteed to never know what happened.

You never know what happens.

You know there's a consequence.

You never learn what it was.

I mean, given that I've taken worse deals already in this episode, I think I gotta take this one.

Because if the whole theme's monkey's paw and this one, I can live in ignorance, then hey, you know?

Yeah, but maybe a part of your mind will always wonder, like, how bad was it?

Nah, I'll get over it.

Bob, you taking this one?

I feel like I have to take it.

It is so, is this monkey paw rules where the consequence is related to my wish?

I know I don't, I don't ever have to know what it is or whatever, but like you're welcome to think and believe that.

I mean, so if this is magic rules and

I don't ever get to know what the consequence was, I guess part of my life plan has to be I'm just going to travel the world as aggressively as possible.

If I go everywhere and meet everyone and none of them can be the victim of this consequence because I'm not allowed to know what it is, something bad could still happen.

Maybe you wonder if that's what the consequence is.

Like you won't know if it's the consequence or not.

Like if someone near you passes away, you might be like, is that the consequence?

Like you'll never know.

It doesn't mean nothing bad can happen.

You'll just never know.

You could just say it is.

I could stub my toe and be like, ah, the consequence.

Fuck.

Oh, well.

Oh, no, my consequence.

Ah, there it was.

And that may not be it, but then I settle it in my mind that way.

Like, yeah, it doesn't mean nothing bad will ever happen around you.

You'll just never know if that's why it happened.

No, I settle it in my mind that way.

That's fair.

You can rationalize.

You taking the deal, Bob.

I feel like the moral of all of the monkeys paw stories in existence is that you're not supposed to.

So, yeah, I'll take that deal.

Okay.

That is the first yes you've all agreed on, by the way, this whole time.

Whoa, you guys agreed on a bunch of no's, but that's the first yes you've both agreed on.

I guess it was easy.

Um, okay, let me do some uh work here.

I don't care for that very much.

Yeah, he's been doing that a lot this episode.

Our listeners, Wade is flipping a coin repeatedly right now and then jotting some things down.

All right, so basically, what I decided was I kept track of your guys's yeses and no's.

You guys both had compelling reasons, so I let the coin decide who got the point for yes or no for each one.

So I did 10 coin flips for 10 prompts.

Heads meant no, tails meant yes.

So heads won on 1, 4, 5, 6, 8, and 10.

Tails won on 2, 3, 7, and nine.

So let me just go back here and look.

Oh, God.

So for one,

if you said no, you got a point.

That's Mark.

Is this the curse of the coin flip that Bob agreed to years ago?

Yeah, wait.

This is just a convoluted way to get a whole shitload of coin flips going.

No, I think it's a perfectly logical way.

Yeah, if you guys want to agree, there might be some bonus points here.

If you want to, if you want to really like this, I'm all about it.

I'm all about it.

I have calculated my points.

How good is your counting, Mark?

It's worse than I think it is.

Do you want to know what the current score is?

I can read it out.

Oh, I guess if he's going to tell us.

Yeah, if he's going to tell us.

I'm not going to read the yes-nos individually because I didn't keep track of that while I was writing, but I'll tell you how many points you got from that part.

Mark, you got points for movie so close.

You aren't Matt Mercer.

You had a point for that.

Gray drat?

Gray something.

Thought about the gray at the beginning.

You said made it gray comments.

Gray Dient.

Gray Dient.

That's what the point is.

Ah.

Road elevator with Matt Mercer.

What Matt Mercer points.

How much should we talk about Matt Mercer?

What's happening?

Apparently.

Something Da Vinci.

Ace Da Vinci.

Uncle Da Vinci.

I don't can't tell what that says.

Something Da Vinci.

You called me Chief.

I give you a point for it for some reason.

And Houdini.

Damn.

And then you got four points for the yes-no flips.

Chief.

Come on, Sport.

I didn't know that was a way to get points.

I don't know.

It's like, oh, chief.

It just rubbed me the right way.

How many points did I get, Bucko?

You got a point for DC Carl, Dungeon Crawler Carl.

You got a point for hurt me.

You got two points for made me feel good because you said nice things about me.

You got a point for paying attention, flew with Louis Anderson, and can rationalize real good.

And then you had six points from the coin flips.

Our current score is Mark has 11, Bob has 13.

Oh!

All right, okay, all right, okay, all right.

So it's time to see how many spins we get.

Come on, one.

You know, you want to do shit.

All right, three it is.

Three.

It's the only answers we get.

Three.

Yep.

Back to our threes.

Glad we have other numbers on that wheel.

Have we ever gotten two?

Has two ever been spun?

All right, there's a two on Friday, July 11th is the last time we got a two, apparently.

Maybe whenever we question the wheel, we're like, can the roll spin two?

And then you spin it, hits two.

Like, oh, I guess it can.

And then the ones that count it doesn't.

All right, what are you adding?

What are we adding?

I just wish there was an entry called The Monkey's Paw Curls, and then we have to pick a random bad thing to occur.

Like, it's not point-based at all.

It's just like, you know, something terrible occurs, and everyone has to wonder what it was.

We can add it and hope that that happens, I guess.

And that wastes, that wastes a spin.

You know, that would be fun.

Like, it lands on it, something bad happens, and and it wastes a spin.

We could, we can have neutral spins, yeah.

The monkeys Paul, put it on there.

I hope we're not willing negative energy into the universe, but like that would.

That would.

Uh, world, we can thank Mark for coming up with it and me for agreeing to it.

Bob's innocent in this one.

Yep, I'm completely innocent.

All right, so we got three spins here, huh?

He's probably the one that's going to be affected by it then.

That's about right.

All right, three spins.

Eh,

most self-sabotage.

None of you lost any points.

I told you to hurt me.

You gave me a point for telling you to hurt me, but I...

I mentioned Matt Mercer and oh, I guess I got a lot of points for it.

Never mind.

You did get a lot of points.

There was no lost points here.

What about the monkeys pod decisions?

Who...

That could have sabotaged all of us.

That's true.

Who took the most bad?

Oh, who took the...

Okay, so...

You both said yes to four things.

Only one of which you agreed.

Well, we're allowed to call respins.

Yeah, let's respin that one.

Oh, most locked in mark had like eight tabs open and was doing some shit i literally gave bob a paying attention point i have six ebay tabs open four amazon tabs two youtube tabs three black library tabs i've already given the point to bob in the episode i bought a piece of software and i'm looking at a graphics card yeah bob you got that point a graphics card what are you looking at a graphics card for it's that one that i'm not gonna buy but i keep looking at it so we can run a da Vinci pinchy was that a special play that the Eagles run the Da Vinci Penchi.

Most impressions.

Did anyone do a Louis Anderson impression?

I wouldn't say I did an impression.

I want this one.

There's an impression.

Speaking of

Gilbert Godfrey, Wade, I know you're not on TikTok or whatever, but have you seen the meme, the Nothing Beats a Jet 2 Holiday?

Have you seen that meme going around?

No.

Okay, well, it's a meme that people are putting over stuff, but

there's a version of the audio where a guy does it in Gilbert Gilbert Gottfried's voice, and he's just like, Nothing beats a jet two holiday, and it's really fucking funny.

That's two impressions right there, Mark.

I don't know how to argue that.

I don't know, that's fine, whatever.

I'm already gonna lose, I don't know.

And the third spin is golf score.

You could have done some impressions if you wanted.

It could be, Mark's doing an impression of sadness.

Hey,

Mark is the boy.

That's Mark's point.

Most unrelated tabs open.

All right.

I was thinking it was going to be the sleep one, and

I pulled another all-nighter over the weekend.

Well, at a final score of 15 to 12, Bob takes it.

All right.

Congratulations, Bob.

This is where we make our comeback, Wade, collectively against Mark's dominance.

I was going to say, this is the first time one of us has hosted and Mark hasn't immediately won.

Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.

Winner speech.

That's me.

I wasn't even expecting it.

I forgot I won already.

That was a fun idea.

That was a fun episode.

I definitely did some stuff that if it was real life, I would regret immensely.

But like I said in the beginning, I can rationalize anything, man.

I can rationalize anything to whatever I want it to be.

I will be fine.

I will make it work.

Monkey's paw, don't scare me.

And now I'm going to be a rich, whatever those things were I wanted.

A rich, non-animal speaking something, something.

You know me.

That's me.

That's what they call me.

Good game, Wade.

Thanks for making me win.

Hey, happy to help.

Mark, loser speech.

Look, I'm still up for the year, for the season.

I, you know, everyone can have a few off days here and there.

I'll make my comeback.

I'll get on top again.

I'm going to win next time.

Likely true, according to how things have gone this season.

Got a good feeling.

All right.

Well, you can find us, boys, Market Markiplier, Bob at MySkirm, me at Minion77 or Lord Minion777.

Merch could be out now, but I don't know.

Inverbo could be.

Stay tuned for the next one where Bob will host.

We'll see what he gets to send too.

And until then, I almost said stay frosty, my friends.

That's not our outro.

Podcast out.

Should have said it.

Should have owned it.

Stay frosty, my friends.