Best of Bald (Compilation)

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I don't, actually. Okay, that's fair.
I miss not having all the gray hair, but like, I wish I had shaved my head earlier in life. I wish I had just bitten the bullet and tried it.

Because, man, I like being bald. I will not, I I'm not looking forward to it.
I'm very likely to bald at some point. I am not looking forward to it.
I have a terrible head shape for that.

I have a very tall, very tall forehead, very flat sides of my head. I'm going to look like a goddamn Easter Island statue when I have to shave my head at some point here.

Well, I seriously considered like doing like a wig of some kind, like trying to get a wig that looked like my old hair and just like getting one of those because I didn't know what I would look like.

I think if you're actually worried about like that's a legit route to go is like try to get a wig made that looks like your hair the way it currently is and then you don't have to worry about it.

I don't know why it feels like there's almost like get head surgery. Come on, just change your head shape.
Oh, I thought you meant like, I thought you meant like hair hair replace.

I was like, there is follicle. No, no.
The problem wasn't the hair. The problem was the head shape.
You got to listen. You got to listen.
So what?

Cut my skull off, squish my brain into a new better head shape. Yeah, just shave it all down, squish it in there.

Can you imagine if they had skull replacement surgery where they just like literally just took your eyes, put them into a new skull and all that? That'd be awful.

They don't have to take your eyes out. They just cut it off right here and just let your eyes sit in the bottom half while they put the new top half on.
Oh, what if you want a new bottom half, too?

What's that Tom Cruise movie? That's some

face-off. Minority report? Yeah, that's a minority report.

The eyes replace the report. You go to a sketchy apartment, and a guy sneezes in your open brain while he puts a new skull on top of you for you so you look different.
The sneeze is good for you.

Build your immune system. There's so many antibiotics or something.
It's fine. Lasers, just calm down.
Also, you shouldn't be awake for this. Go to sleep.

What are you doing to wake notice in my sneezes? Well, I'm glad we got this into the I missed that. I think I do miss that head reconstruction.
But my hair, I don't miss. I'm glad you miss it.

I don't miss it. That's good.
That's good. I am choosing to lose all my hair.
I believe that having hair is against God.

Huh? Huh? You get a bald point.

All right.

Never thought I'd get a bald point. Not until I went bald anyway.
If you don't, if all your hair doesn't fall out in the next five seconds, I don't think that point should count.

Editors. No one ever will tell us apart now.
One time I posted a tweet and I was like, hey, hope you're all well. And you know what the first response was? Bald.

That is not the only time that has happened to you. And since then, I have declared war on social media.
Because I wasn't even bald back then. Oh, well, you talked about it.

You haven't talked about that for a long time. Since way before you were.
Yeah, but back then it hurt my feelings. How are you not sure that your baldness wasn't caused by microplastics?

Because I paid someone to shave it and I watched. What if your hair follicles are clogged by microplastics? What if you just need to wash better? What if you're not bald? What if you're just evolving?

When did you say the start of the microplastics or our plastic age was, Bob?

I mean, the back half of the 20th century is kind of like the plastic. Plastics came about in the like 60s, 50s, 60s.
Okay, well, I've got some old family photos from probably like before that.

I don't remember, like, great-great-grandpa was also bald. Oh, sure.
Before that, yeah.

Well, I don't think he was young in like but he lived in the lead and uranium age, so maybe that's unrelated, but unrelated. That was lead hair loss.
And actually, you know what?

Microplastics causing baldness, I think, supports my side. So, yeah, you know what? It probably did.
Oh, my God. Okay, so you're saying baldness is a bad thing.
It is for some.

Have you seen some people's head shapes? Not everyone is

depholically gifted like me. I have like a crease, and I have a big mole on the top of my head.

I would look, and it's dead center on my head, so it's not like a spot, it would be like a little target on the top middle of my head.

I would look not great with a shaved head, and I'm definitely afraid that that's the direction I'm headed because my mom's deaf father was a bald man, and uh, that's uh, maybe that might be my future.

You just grow it down here, and it distracts people from what's going on up there. I can't.
Do I get to grow a better beard if I, if I go bald? Is that does it migrate?

Because I can't grow a beard for shit right now. I mean, mine started around that time, but maybe not everybody.
I haven't shaved in like four or five days. You can't even really tell.

No hair grows here at all. No, I grow like a terrible little shitty mustache.
That's because of microplastics, maybe, probably. Probably.
It's almost definitely because. No, I mean...

Ooh, that was an incredible chest move. You just got Bob to admit that maybe microplastics might be bad.
That's double points for Wade. Woo! Microplastics would never harm me.

It's probably Wade's fault that nothing grows on my face. Why is it Wade's fault? Because his head is setting a terrible example.
Well, you're moving back to Ohio.

You're going to be nearer to the source, the plague bearer of microplastics. Well, if I'm bald in a year, we'll all know that it's Wade.

We know with the amount of processed food I eat, I'm probably 90% microplastic at this point. Yeah, that probably actually is probably true.
See, my tits definitely ain't real anymore.

They're pure plastic. Micro plastic.
I feel like that's points for microplastics right there. Yeah, that sounds like points for microplastics.
Do you think they look good? Thanks, man.

You're going to credit those fabulous bazoinkers. I'm willing to give Bob those points.
It means I look good. As you are now is exactly what you were then, is what we're discovering.
No, no.

I'm bald now.

Are you sure you weren't bald then? You've always been bald. This is like my sixth sense moment.
Some bald people don't know they're bald. Looking in the mirror and their hair just disappears.

Funny you mention that because I've got some small talk news. That's bigger than me.
Like 6'5?

July 25th, Carly Casella wrote a nice article in Health called Surprise Hair Loss Breakthroughs. Sugar gel triggers robust regrowth.
Oh,

apparently, there was some kind of study going on where they were doing something with mice, which is pretty typical. And they put the sugar gel on mice.

I don't even think it was supposed to be for hair loss. It was supposed to be for something else.

But they noticed that when they used the sugar gel on the mice, they were like, their fur started growing back better and thicker than previous things had. and they were like, huh.

Wait, is it mice with like a little bald patch on the top of their head? How are these mice bald?

I don't know what they had done, but I think they, whatever they were doing to the mice before, they didn't expect the fur to grow back. I think what were they doing that needed sugar?

Is this just sugar in gel form? You say sugar gel. Yeah, what is this? Gummy bears, or what is this? Deoxyribose gel.
Oh,

DNA. It doesn't sound like sugar.

But researchers have found it worked just as well as minoxidil, which is a topical treatment for hair loss. Commonly known by the brand name, Rogaine.
Wait, so it's not better? Huh.

Dude, I read the article five days ago. How's that a breakthrough if it's not better than the current treatment? Same but different is still a breakthrough, Mark.
Okay, come on.

I think that they found that this was working. And now they're going to like, it was by complete accident.
That wasn't what that was intended to do. And now they're like, huh, that's crazy.

We should investigate this further. And I think we're at that step where we don't quite know yet.
We got to experiment. We just got to put random things on your head.
We'll start with tapioca.

We'll move to elk's blood. And then we'll try lava for like a quick second just to see.
You know, it might work. Dude, imagine if lava works.
We won't know until science.

Nice, icy hot lava and then absolute zero ice. Yes.
You have some? Doesn't everyone? Absolute zero calories in my absolute zero ice.

It sounds like you should get some sugar gel.

Are you saying you're going to try this?

I mean, I'm going to wait till they do a little bit more research on it, but the thing about this is, unless it's something more than it sounds like it is, it doesn't sound like it can hurt you.

What's sugar gel going to do that's bad? Make you sticky? Yeah, exactly. Was it going to give your head diabetes?

Probably not. Diabetes is in the feet.
We all know. I got skin abetus.

It's just diabetes of my head skin from all the sugar gel. Well, anyway, Wade, that's a great breakthrough.
Hey, it's very important. You could do what

almost every influencer who's balding does and fly to Turkey. Apparently,

that's the thing. And there's a horrific picture of like a tryptophobia picture of a plane full of people who just had it.
Oh, no.

I don't know if you've ever seen pictures of who had just got like the hair transplant surgery.

It's horrifying to look at. And then it's a picture.

It's a picture in a plane from seeing all these heads from behind and they're just it's just everyone has just is this the follicle replacement or like the strip

it's the follicle implants isn't it you know what it reminds me of there's that one doll head in sid's room and toy story where it has it has the hair like that it always reminds me

yeah no i get it i definitely get that if i i might be starting to thin out at the front here a little bit and so i don't know what's gonna happen baldness does kind of run in some of my family me too i don't know I don't think I can do shaved head.

I don't know exactly what route to take.

I might just have to wear hats 24-7. I'm not entirely sure.
I guess I should start putting sugar in my hair and not in my mouth. That'll treat both my diseases.
You just got to go to Turkey.

I don't know what happens at the Turkey International Airport, but you step off that plane, 10 men jump out with dark cloaks and razors.

You'll be. It's not at a hospital.
It's just, you go, it's like one of those 10-minute hotel nap hotels at the airport, but it's a hair transplant.

I have a hair person who shaves my head who swears by going to Turkey for different things. Is this serious? Yeah, yeah, actually.
What is the benefit of having her shave your head?

I have really thick hair in the back, and there are times where I just flat out don't have time to do it because it actually takes a very long time to get my head as smooth as I'd like to get it.

So days like before I'm about to travel, because we're doing like a family photo in Minnesota, it's like didn't have a lot of time today.

So rather than me spending two hours and like then Molly be like,

you left this spot. You left the spot.
I'm like, damn it. I just go there and have them do it because it's quick.
He's got a bald guru.

She also apparently is just like, has all kinds of relationships. Listen, I could talk about that lady for a while.
She's so fascinating. She's the most fascinating person I've met.

Is she from Turkey? Why, how does she have so many Turkey connections? No, I think she's from Russia, actually. That's closer to Turkey than we are, probably.

Yeah, she's got a love web and she loves to go into like what's going on in her love life when we talk. And it's always so fascinating.

But that's neither here nor there but she she's big on like telling people to go to turkey because when rai came in and she thought i was 10 years older than i am she was like have you thought about going to turkey and having them do something so you don't look so old i was like that's a thing yeah i could she's very blunt very blunt um but i found something in the article about the mice they were studying how sugars heal the wounds of mice when applied topically oh so the mice had like lesions or wounds that like no longer had hair growing on them and they put this on there to help heal the wounds and they were surprised whenever it was also growing fur back no yeah sugar is good for wounds because it's hydroscopic sugar sugar really sucks the juice you know so they haven't actually as of the time of me reading this article this doesn't mention them doing any human studies on it but they were done it with mice and they're like wow that's actually pretty effective molly sent me that and i was reading i was like this kind of fascinating molly sending not very subtle hints hey look at this new treatment breakthrough for baldness every now and then i i wonder i'm like do you really like be bald

yeah yeah, it's great. I'm like falling asleep.
She likes to browse right when she goes to sleep. It's like, what are you browsing over there?

You wake up and she's standing over you with a big vat of sugar gel. Just like,

no, sorry, sorry. Are you hungry? Cereal.
Why is my head sticky? Anyway, that's all I got.

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I think people tweeting the word bald at me has made it to where I only get hair loss ads. I think the fact that I look at Twitter and it's just like, wow, Wade is bald, bald, bald, bald.

It's like, then everything's like, oh, he keeps looking at these bald messages. Maybe he needs some hair.
Well, what if people tweet at me then? Crypto scam?

Do you get nothing of a crypto scam? I get so many crypto scams, guys.

Half of my entire Twitter, everything when I go on that app is just some crypto scam or Web 3.0, NFT, whatever bullshit scam thing. And it's like, neat.
I'll be sure to click on that. Oh, yeah.

I got some travel ad, a car ad. I would like car ads.
I love cars. There's actually a lot of car ads.
Wait, no. Why? Let me know if you find a good one.
Someone is still looking in this group.

I thought you had one ordered. Well, we've got one on wait, but that's more for Molly.
I still need one. Ah.
Can't you just get a Corvette then or something? If Molly's getting a big people mover?

I could just leave and go probably buy a car, but like, I want to figure out which one I want. You know what you should buy?

I was trying to think of something funny, but there are no bald cars.

Wait, are there hairy cars? I don't know. Well, I was trying to figure out if there was...
That's nothing. Wait, what movie was the Shaggin Wagon where it was like a dog?

Is it called the Shaggin Wagon? Are you talking about the dog truck that they drive in Dumb and Dumber? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hair. Fast or slow? Slow.
I like being bald, and the less I got to shave, the better. He's right.
You're both right, and this is a weird one, but I like getting haircuts.

And the idea of like a nice, like, long, relaxing haircut sounds kind of nice. Like, it'd be, it'd be like a spa day, I'm imagining almost.
Kind of on board with that.

I just don't like getting haircuts because for some, well, it's my own fault because I don't go to the same person, so every time it's a real gamble.

No, I do that too, and it is a real gamble, but I like the reward of when you go and you get a good person, and you're like, oh, man, this is the best.

Because a bad haircut, it's fine, but it's not that it's whatever. Not that bad.
But a good haircut, a surprisingly good haircut. How long would a haircut take when slow?

I guess it wouldn't matter if you only do it once every however long. Yeah, I mean, I'm imagining it'd be like a whole day or something.
You'd have to be kind of because haircut, I don't know.

What's a haircut? How long do you think a haircut is? Okay, to be bald, man,

I gotta shave a little bit more frequently than most people.

So it's like it takes, we'll say, an hour every week or two, unless you keep it with a daily, because daily, you can kind of get one of those things, just go over it a little bit.

Maintaining bald is harder than maintaining hair as far as like the shaving. You gotta do a lot more frequently.
Anyway, we all agreed. So I think one of the best distractible topics would be

bald man's confidential terms,

where the bald guy has confidential terms that you guys have to figure out. It's like a bald confessional, yes, sure.

You know,

I got an idea for later.

All right, continue. What's a bald? So it's not a bald confessional.
It's bald confidential terms. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So basically, I would, I mean, a bald host, any bald host of us,

would come up with a catalog of different terms and terminologies, sentences, and assign points if one of you other, one of us other hosts were to say those things wow but they don't know that saying them gives them points they just have to be confused as to why they're getting points that's incredible i i i didn't even give bob a chance to come up with the title of his future episode that i'm going to do so i'm going to award you the points and the points for the title because you just clearly swept and and and deserved it all because he told me to go first and i went for it i appreciate that and i appreciate you you got big points coming your way oh there's a here's one to you way this is um this is a very topical thing to you.

Uh, high court, I don't know which court, but it seems like Scotland. High court rules calling a man bald is sexual harassment.

This when Wade does it, I have so many lawsuits coming toward you, viewers and listeners. In the Scotland, yes.
Uh, just so happens, I might have land in Scotland. Ah, maybe.

Are you a lord? I've got a one-foot by one-foot land square that makes me a lord. I might not be Scotland, but I think it is.
It was a birthday gift. It's going to be fake.

It follows a lengthy legal case brought by electrician Tony Finn, who claimed he had been sexually harassed by his boss during a heated row in 2019. Mr.

Finn, 64, made the claim against the British Bung Company, where he worked as an electrician for 24 years before he was fired in 2021. Yes, the British Bung Company.
Yes, that British Bung Company.

Oh,

okay. I remember watching the British Bung-off.
Yeah,

he said he was a victim of sexual harassment after comments were made about his baldness, including being called a stupid bald C sensor, sensor, sensor.

That could be cock, it could be cunt, it could be craft. Fill in the blanks.
Cream, but spelled wrong. Sizzler, but spelled really wrong.
Crisp with no I.

Crank with no N

Cock.

A cart? A jolly young fellow. Canned?

Canned? C-A-N-D, you got it. Carp.
Carp. Oh, you bald carp.
You stupid bald carp.

The three-person employment tribunal panel, the highest court in Scotland, apparently, said the remark, quote, crossed a line.

It dismissed an argument that the comment was not sexist because women can be bald too.

The judgment said there was a connection between the word bald and the protected characteristic of sex, noting that it is, quote, much more prevalent in men than women.

Judge Jonathan Brain added, we find it inherently related to sex.

So this has sounded like it's not a joke. It's not a joke at all.
Why would you think it was a joke? Because you said this has to be a joke when you started reading it and I was thinking it.

That's true. You did.
No, no, I said it had to be fake. I couldn't believe it because I was aghast.
I was aghast.

I was aghast.

I was like, I can't believe this is the world we live in. Aghast.
I can't tell you the number of times I've walked by like a Scottish construction site and just heard them whistle and go, bald.

The bald calling. I'm glad it's coming to an end.
Dude, a perfect American accent. They're bald, bald, bald.

Hey, Laddie, bald.

It's disgusting. For some reason, because they're on a construction site, it's just like a New York accent in Scotland.
Like, oh, I can't even do it.

Hey, you're bald in here. Look at this guy.

Baldy. Anyway, that's it.
Great article, man. That was a good find.
I'm glad that

my kind is finally getting the recognition and treatment we deserve. It's only fair.
Does that mean we have to stop saying that to you?

Do you want to, would you like us to make fun of you in different ways? I've just always considered it flirting, and you guys are welcome to continue. Okay.
I'm kinky, and I like it.

I'm going to start calling you Harry instead. That is offensive.
And I'm going to take you to the highest court of Ohio. The Ohio Labor Tribunal? No.
Yeah. I love a tribunal.

We got an inherent tribunal thing going on here, and I think that's the reason why we're so successful. There's always three.
Is that why it's called a tribunal? Never mind.

I see now. I understand what the name is.
You don't see a lot of bibunals. You don't.
Bobunal? No. Mubunal, if you're being formal.

What are we doing, small talk?

The words are: tooth, fairy, hairy, wade, bald, water.

Wade, your word is tooth. Ache.
Dentist. Mouth.
Saliva. Drink.
Water. Rinse.
Repeat. Brush.
Hair. Dumb.
Chewy. Granola bar.
Hippie. Peace.
Love.

Happiness.

Happiness but spelled wrong like in the Will Smith movie.

Slap. Walk.

Anger. Jack Nicholson.
What? Jack Nicholson? Oh, I thought you said testicles. All right, okay.

No, Jack Nicholson. Tiger Woods.
Crash. Into me.

All right, we'll end it there. All right, Bob, you got two.
Yeah.

What? What about me? Wade, you got none. Bob, you might have gotten one and a half, but I'm willing to give you.
I swear to God, if one of them is happiness but spelled different, I'm just so upset.

No, no that's not what it is so my my train of thought went from tooth fairy hairy and bob you said hair so i would be like i'd give that half a point but or a full point depending on what thinks fair wade that was my next word bald water

which you say

what

bald water i'll give you a bonus point if you can explain how i got to water i think of the drowned man a lot when i think of wade uh a is a second letter in both.

And whenever you see my head, it makes you kind of get all salivated and drooly and wet. And it makes it like water.

I know why you said water. You said bald, but you were actually still hung up on Wade.
And you were like, what else goes with Wade? You wade in water.

That's there's no way that's what you have written down. You're so close, but so wrong.
All right, so neither of you get it. Well, what did you write down? What does it say?

The last three words were Wade, bald, and water. And then I think of the drowned man a lot when I think of Wade.
Mm.

Wade, you were in it. Water.
Your whole house was flooded forever. You know, I'm glad the things I try to block out from memory are the things you associate with me.
We made a documentary. I lived it.

I have a t-shirt with that on it. Exactly.
We sold a t-shirt to help pay for your walls. I have the shirt too, which is kind of productive to helping me.

I want a card that you send someone when they start having their midlife crisis. This is like a congratulations on your midlife crisis

greeting card or something. Could be anything.
We live in a world where I can take any picture I want or I can buy stock photography and get things printed. So

the world is your oyster. Got it.
Mark. On the front, right? Uh-huh.
It's not so bald. You open it up.
Packet of hair stapled inside. Like, you can have it as a keepsake.

So it's like, and it can pop out at you too. Be like, here.
It's on like a spring. You open it and the hair is just like, boing, boing.
Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then it's got a sound bite in there, but it's that guy from SpongeBob going, my eyes, my eyes.

You don't ever have to go bald in a midlife crisis. You can just be bald.

The crisis is not because of the bald, but that is, I feel like a lot of people will like. get hair transplants because they're having a midlife crisis and they're like,

I can't be bald. I can't stay like this.
I don't think you have to do that. I think some people look really good with a fully shaved head.
Yeah, so I had a different idea.

So, you remember, like, the old Captain America, so you're having a midlife crisis. Sure, so it doesn't have Captain America, but it says, So, you're having a midlife crisis, and it shows, like,

I don't know, a middle-aged guy, maybe full head of hair, but graying or bald, and then, like, I don't know, like a strapping model in the front seat of like a Corvette convertible going down like a nice gold paved road.

And then you open it up and the Corvette's crashed and on fire and there's bodies on the ground. It just says expectations versus reality.

You're going to die.

Is that a threat? Or it just says expectations versus reality. It just has that gives a threatening aura to me.
Yeah, don't go through it. Don't do it.
Don't get the hair transplants or maybe.

I see what you're going for. Little, a little ominous, a little threatening.

You could kind of read that as opening as like, it's already over. You know, you might as well accept that, you know, the inevitability of your demise.
It could happen at any moment, you know.

So why even try? That was really dark. Why is my so dark?

There's that guy that thinks that being brutally honest is the equivalent of being interesting, you know, or like, I'm better than anyone because I always tell my friends like it is.

Hey, you look like shit today, Bob. Hey, Wade, what the fuck happened to your hair? Whoa, it's gone.
Uh, the genetics,

I'm sorry,

God,

man, I don't like that guy. I do get that one guy in every stream who their comment is just, Wade, you're bald.

Every stream, someone thinks that's like an original comment. There's one person that comes in and says all they say.
You don't understand.

They just had a surgery that gave them vision for the first time in nine years, and they, they just, their, their first instinct was to come to watch your stream because it's what they wanted to see.

And they just, they're so flabbergasted. you don't sound bald

i swear i hear hairs swishing back and forth as he speaks must be his beautiful head of hair you have the confidence of a much more healthily haired man it comes through in your voice i used to watch wade for years and years i thought really highly of him until i found out he was well bald well bald

yep maybe he had hair before the event and it just like how do you think we bald? I don't know. There's emergency balding.
It's like a lizard's tail. When you got to escape real fast, it just.

I did used to keep a glass thing on the wall in case of emergency. You break the glass to bald.
I don't have that anymore, but you are right. You know what? Points for remembering that.

Please end in a tie for Wade. Please end in a tie.

It's possible.

Keep going, keep going, keep going.

God damn it. I mean, is it between Mark and I who's the baldest, or is it...
It's supposed to be? I have I'm receding. You can see I have a little, I have a little, it's receding.

Do we just re-spin this one? Look at this. It's like if you pull it apart, it's really bald.
If I go like this, it looks like I've just all the way bald.

I have really, I have the Vegeta hairline, remember? Dude, if you could come in here with your hair up like Vegeta's. My hairline goes as far back as my ears are over here.
It's it's climbing.

If I wait, if I lean back like this.

You have so much hair, you can't even do it i have a i have a large crown see if we're doing this i think bob has more forehead exposed what's your what's your thing mark mark you're all what is it mid-face bob's all forehead i'm sorry wait just try and negotiate the point so that he doesn't we don't do the one no so so honestly right now the funny thing is right now you guys are tied so if either one of you get this point yeah so you're just trying to make it so you don't get the point for baldest no i can take the point i just said i don't don't know if it's between you two, we should respin, but if it lands on like listeners or viewers, you want to take the point for baldest?

I'll take the point. Nah, no, you're the host.
Don't let me talk you into it. I'm the baldest.
You know what? Fuck you. I'm the baldest.
We will do the tie spin. That's unfair.
Oh,

I'm the baldest.

If I win, I'm bald. No.
So, wait. So, if Mark wins, he's bald.
If Mark loses, all heads, Mark is bald. All tails, Bob is bald?

No, well, it would be doubly unfair, which would mean Wade would get two points. Yeah, I guess so.
Yeah, I guess it's between me and him. Wade has to do two one-man shows.

I don't think that's how we're doing this. Heads for Mark.
Anything else doesn't really matter.

Fell on the floor. Do I do that again? Yeah, I would reflip.
I would say that's a reflip for Mark. You've better flip carefully, though, because mine was Tails.
It landed Tails on the floor.

I'm not lying about that. That's what it is.
I mean, it's pretty immature again.

I don't think it changes it either way, does it? That would give me two points. Is that enough to affect the outcome, Wade? No.

Tails. All right.
Well, you know what? At least I beat the listeners. Wade,

you

have a choice here, and I made this one specially for you. It's worth double points.
It's worth two whole big points. I think I'm down by eight, so this is where my comeback begins.
Yeah. Okay.

Would you rather

have hair

that is so long it touches the ground

and never be able to cut it again?

So it will always be at least your height in length or

shave yourself bald every morning. Hard to imagine what it would even feel like to shave yourself bald every morning.
Yeah, that's weird enough. That sounds like a lot of effort.

However, coming from the once-having hair club, I know how annoying having hair can be. And watching Molly try to brush her hair, wash her hair, and all of that.

Having hair that long and that much of it, if you want to dye that hair, if you want to like brush it, put it up into a certain amount, like that is going to be so much more work than

keep me bald and happy, baby.

I like that. I like that.
He's picking shape bald every morning.

You're going to look, I do agree, like, kind of in a way, having that long hair might be inconvenient, but also, you know, luscious locks. You could wear them in a certain style.

But, Bob, what's your answer?

I wish I actually did have hair that long because that's the kind of quality that when a person has it, it becomes their entire life and you don't have to do anything else.

And we live in a world where if that was my, if that was my curse, I would make, I would would make that my personality. I would make that my job.
I would be like a hair influencer or whatever.

Like, yeah, it would be a lot of work, but that would, that would subsume everything about my life and I wouldn't have to have any other aspects to my personality.

That would just be who I was, what I did all the time. And I could get help with it.
You know, I'm a hairstylist, hairdresser, whatever.

I'm not saying that I know for sure what that would be like, but I would be okay having the hair and making that. That would be a very defining characteristic.

And I've always thought I'm a nondescript, non-interesting, average-looking, like, you know, dude. Like, I'm just some guy.

I thought, I think it would be interesting to live that life where you're such a distinctive person.

Because there are definitely people in the world where it's like, there's a thing, there's a thing about you that clearly defines how you look, who you are, and you clearly embrace that.

I think that would be interesting. It might be difficult, but I would choose that.
You go to vacuum. The vacuum is clogged from one hair.

A piece of hair gets into your food and you turn into a magician where you're like, oh,

well, I think you probably just stopped swallowing initially. You don't need to swallow the whole length of the hair.

Sometimes it gets like, you know, like if it gets caught up in like a pastry or something you make and you don't know it, and then like the very end, you're like, I think if it was

that long and it was continuously going, I would probably notice that at some point and be like, oh, let me pull that out.

Well, it can be wrapped up in like one little hair ball that you, well, then you just swallow the hair. I would just not eat the hairball.
Yeah, I would just feel like you would notice it.

But point being, being bald is so much easier, and I look fucking great. I definitely agree that it's easier.
And you pull it off. I don't think I could pull off bald.

I think I have a really ugly hair. I didn't think so either until I did it.
I have like a big, I have like a mole thing that I can feel is like a lump right here.

I got a couple, like, yeah, I've got a bump somewhere. I don't know where it is.
I got a couple bumps on my head, just hard to notice. Plus, we're tall, Bob.

No one sees the top of our head unless we want them to. It's easily concealed.
That's true. Absolutely, I think.
I guess I wouldn't know.

But this one is also split 50%.

It's even closer of a margin than the other one because it's 338 to 333.

This is people afraid of being bald and afraid what they look like bald. And the winner of this point was 338,000 versus 300 and basically 34,000 is

Wade shaving bald every morning. Just specifically me.
Yes, you would get that to me.

Specifically, would you want to have long hair or have Wade shave his head every morning? Which one?

You've been waiting for it, and here it is, Wade. This is your reward point for big ball.

I already won best hair like a couple of weeks ago, or whatever it was. So, like,

best hair, best bald. I'm the best me.
All you other Wades and other timelines, fuck yourself. I'm number one, baby.
Put me on a boat.

And I'm bugged.

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