Wade's, Bob’s, Mandy’s Word Game (Featuring Markiplier)

Speaker 1 This episode is brought to you by Facebook. The holidays bring people home.
Facebook brings people together.

Speaker 1 From spontaneous messages that lead to overdue catch-ups to finding new communities and friends to go on tangents with, like in your favorite podcast Facebook group.

Speaker 2 On Facebook, a little connection goes a long way, especially the night before Thanksgiving.

Speaker 3 Facebook is the only way I keep track of like a lot of my family members. Around the holidays, we're all like nostalgic and remembering like the time that we could all fit under one roof.

Speaker 3 And so we all reach out like, oh, have these stories and such, which is actually really, really nice.

Speaker 4 But you know what's even better than that? Things.

Speaker 4 Facebook Marketplace is my favorite.

Speaker 4 But it's even more fun when I have to go visit my stupid parents around the holidays and I can pull up Facebook Marketplace and see what's for sale around their house.

Speaker 2 I caught up with a friend I hadn't talked to. Would you buy?

Speaker 5 Few moments of their time.

Speaker 6 You had to pay for that.

Speaker 5 Ha, lame.

Speaker 1 Let's reconnect this holiday season with Facebook.

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Speaker 5 Good evening, gentle listeners, all watchers, and welcome to Distractible.

Speaker 4 This episode.

Speaker 5 Walking Wade sort of his screens, plays sounds, then retreads a wonderful format. Button-bashing Bob mashes Mrs.
Rabbit, roasts relocation, and shows off his multiple desk blades.

Speaker 5 Midget Mark assaults Assus and his bald buddy, grazes Delta Nippon, then brutally stumps Bob. From rolling stones to killing couches.

Speaker 5 It's time for

Speaker 5 Wade's Bob's Mandy's word game, featuring Markiplier.

Speaker 5 Now sit back and prepare to be distracted

Speaker 5 and enjoy the show.

Speaker 5 Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Distractible. I'm today's host because apparently I won the last one, which I definitely remember doing because I've got a great memory.

Speaker 5 And I'm joined as always by my friends whose names I remember and I definitely don't have written down. Mark and Bob.
How's it going, boys?

Speaker 5 Not much has really changed since the last time we did this, has it? You guys look like you're in your normal locations. Yeah, everything looks absolutely normal yeah yeah

Speaker 5 why are you still the same mr gathers moths because i'm busy gathering moths they ate my hair now they're eating my life

Speaker 5 moths or i think mark meant moss it's what i intended i can't read so i didn't know what he said i shape every letter with my lips you better read them Bob, you like fill out your camera.

Speaker 5 I feel so short next to you. Yeah, something is different.
I thought I set it back up the same. I'm in a new room for anyone who's a listener.
This is different. It's still kind of purple, but it's...

Speaker 5 I thought I set it up the same. Something looks different.
I feel like my forehead looks bigger. Something's different about this framing.
I don't know what it is. It's fine.

Speaker 5 You look good. Oh, speaking of listener, you guys must have seen the uproar.
I saw most of them say, wow, Wade, wade to represent us.

Speaker 5 I feel like there's a whiplash or two that you missed in that summary of yours. Much like the, we will burn Wade alive for daring to steal our win.
I remember a lot of that. A lot of that.

Speaker 5 And then the next episode came out that you hosted it was like, Wade represented us so good. A genius of us.
None will compare. Thankfully, they only burned me from the waist down.

Speaker 5 So the top half was able to represent. Good thing I keep my penis up high.
I did not, but now it's deep fried and delicious. I'm trying to shrink in my camera for you, man.
Is this helping?

Speaker 5 Somehow that makes me look even bigger. It's because my head's getting smaller, but my gut is getting bigger.
I should be like back here. Man, this looks great.
Yeah, you should be farther back.

Speaker 5 Yeah, you do look good. Wait.
It really slims you down. I'll just stand.

Speaker 5 No. That's a lot of nips.
That's a lot of nips. That's a lot of gray stripes.
You guys got me on a Friday night. Nips out.
I felt like I just lost to Five Nights of Freddy's game.

Speaker 5 Do they show nips on Freddy's when you lose? No, it's like the static. It's the static.
When your nips point at me, I hear that scream sound that happens when you get killed in Five Nights at Freddy.

Speaker 5 I'm glad we did not try to impersonate Five Nights at Freddy's screams.

Speaker 5 I'm glad we didn't do that. There's no evidence that that occurred.

Speaker 5 I'm still sad about all the other things we tried to impersonate, but I'm glad we didn't do that one. Apparently, we were the only ones sad about it.

Speaker 5 Everyone else seemed to enjoy our great impressions. Well, I'm glad that they didn't think we should be good at anything.
Everyone out there watching, this is a Friday night that we're recording this.

Speaker 5 It's unusual for us. I'm not used to doing this at night with you all, much less Friday night, specifically Friday night, the witching night.

Speaker 5 The witching night, is that a thing? I mean, I'm not a witch, so I don't know what a witch would say.

Speaker 5 I feel like a witch would say, I am a witch. Yeah, most witches these days, I feel pretty open about their witchery.
We don't burn them anymore. It's cool.

Speaker 5 Oh, just me for beating the pants off the listeners.

Speaker 5 Sobra, did you just hear that? Did you hear what he said? He's always doing that. He's always doing that.
And you let him get away with it every time.

Speaker 5 Listen, I slap my chat, Mike, I slap my community around and they come back to like, yes, please, more, Bald Daddy. And I'm like, all right, here's one.

Speaker 5 What's that meme? The Jesse Pinkman meme? You can't keep getting away with this.

Speaker 5 But I do. And they love me for it.
Till you don't. I was telling you this before we were recording.
I have a new monitor.

Speaker 5 You guys look so much better than you used to look now. I don't think that's true for me.
I'm pretty sure for me in my low compression

Speaker 5 undisclosed location with some filter. No, you look better than ever before

Speaker 5 I mean it's still it still looks better because I literally jumped from a 1080p L C D screen that was seven years old to a modern Samsung OLED beautiful 1440 display. It looks so good.

Speaker 5 I forgot video games are supposed to look good and videos could look beautiful.

Speaker 5 I gotta shout out negatively to ASUS for making the most dog shit OLED display I've ever known in my life.

Speaker 5 I have had one OLED display in my past,

Speaker 5 and I think it was probably like my phone or something, and that's the only OLED I've ever had. And I was like, I should treat myself, you know, working on movies.
I'm a big, big businessman.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I got to be real professional. So I buy this one.
It was on sale. Not cheap, mind you.
OLEDs are not cheap.

Speaker 5 And this piece of shit, once now up to twice a day will just turn off it'll give me a message saying it's turning off it'll be like screen will be off for initialization and I'm like what the fuck does that mean you're I've been using you for weeks maybe you should initialize it then maybe it'll stop trying to do that maybe this is a user error I swear I probably just some people just went oh oh god I know that because it's a common thing if you look it up on this uh ACES I'm bullshit OLED you look up aces bullshit OLED initialization, and you're going to find this OLED display.

Speaker 5 And the shitty thing is the display is good. Like it looks good, right? Everything else is terrible because to get it back on, you can't just hit the power button.

Speaker 5 You have to physically unplug it, then re-plug it back in for it to decide to work. And usually I'm.

Speaker 5 You're preaching to the choir because you're talking to the guy who hasn't had a third monitor, like $1,600 monitors.

Speaker 5 I've had two for the last six months because Windows updated and I had to update a graphics card and all of a sudden that monitor,

Speaker 5 it's done. I'm not going to downplay how much money you spend on those monitors and how painfully stupid it is that this is an issue that you're running into.
They do sell other monitors.

Speaker 5 I just want to throw that out there. Like on some level, this is the car situation all over again because I

Speaker 5 acknowledge that that's an expensive month. You could sell that monitor, give it to a friend or somewhere.
Like, I don't know if Molly needs another monitor.

Speaker 5 They are covered in so much saliva at this point that only someone weird from our community would want them. There's got to be a third monitor out there for your specific needs.

Speaker 5 When we first started Drunk Minecraft, Mark helped me get like my first monitor that lasted me until I think like 2016. And then I upgraded and I was like.
Oh, look at these monitors.

Speaker 5 I've got three monitors. And those lasted me until I've got these.
I've only bought monitors by myself twice. And the first time went great.
Lasted me a long time. And then I was like, you know what?

Speaker 5 I'm gonna buy three just top-of-the-line monitors, last me another 10 years, it'll be worth it. Apparently, that's not how things work now.

Speaker 5 Three 4K monitors, and I used to think that he was just tech illiterate. No, he's right.
Shit sucks now. Yeah,

Speaker 5 wait, what was that first part? Shit, he's right. I thought he was just a dumb piece of shit, dumbass, do-know nothing about tech, backwards thinking, bald-headed, and assed, dumbass.

Speaker 5 But but he's actually pretty smart. You know, unrelated, you just reminded me I need to keep track of points.
That's what crazy is.

Speaker 5 You're welcome. I'll take them, thank you.
Mark, you, you just earned so many points.

Speaker 5 I know, because it's all about the delta, right? You got to get the delta, you know, the difference, the delta difference. I'm a diamond delta member.
Have I mentioned that? I fly united.

Speaker 5 I'm gold at this point, I think. I think I'm gold medallion.
Gold.

Speaker 5 I think the only airline that still services Cincinnati is Delta, so I don't really have a choice.

Speaker 5 Delta and Southwest and all those other ones that are kind of sketchy seeming to me that I'm sure they're fine, but you could fly in the overhead bins in Frontier.

Speaker 5 I flew Frontier once and I was like, can I get some water? And they're like, that'll be the cost of a normal Delta ticket. I was like, never mind.
I think I'm good. Okay, let's be honest.

Speaker 5 Delta tickets. They're expensive, but oh, man.

Speaker 5 There was a TikTok about this, like different airlines. And I was like, oh, no, they're going to roast my airline.

Speaker 5 But they made Delta like the extremely seductive one it's like how you're so right oh you're so right you're so fucking expensive but god you're right Delta's like the Jessica Rabbit but like in order to talk to her you have to spend at least five thousand bucks you're just going like this like the real Jessica Rabbit well no she was loyal to her husband she couldn't be bought I don't know maybe I don't know the deep lore of Jessica Rabbit Was she married?

Speaker 5 I don't know anything about Jessica Rabbit. Married? Yes.
Yes, she's married. Wait, you didn't know that? I don't know anything about Jessica Rabbit other than

Speaker 5 Who framed Roger Rabbit? I thought that was her brother.

Speaker 5 Just because they have the same last name doesn't mean they're married. Come on now.

Speaker 5 You're right. I'm trying really hard not to complain about moving because it's not interesting, but moving is not fun.
And that's all I have to say. I think everyone agrees.

Speaker 5 If you're out there on the subreddit or wherever, on the YouTube comments, wherever you are, if you like moving, leave a comment so we can all

Speaker 5 ridicule you for being a fucking insane person because nobody likes it. Guaranteed.

Speaker 5 Okay, there was a time in my life where I actually did like moving. Boo!

Speaker 5 Hold on, hold on. You're giving yourself a point for Booing.
What do you, what do you wait, hold. I'm about to, I'm about to write.
I'm about to write.

Speaker 5 I was just like, boo. That was funny.

Speaker 5 Two points for me. If I took a picture of every

Speaker 5 place I had moved solo in my time in LA, you know, the subreddit male living spaces? Yeah, yeah. It was like that.

Speaker 5 But my recording desk was like this glowing obelisk in the corner. And then my ramshackle bullshit clothes and furniture was off the side.

Speaker 5 I don't know what it was, but I was enamored with this idea of like, oh, a fresh start. This will be perfect.

Speaker 5 I just dumped all my old furniture into that storage unit that doesn't exist in my mind, gone forever. Never have to worry about that again.
And I'll just start over. I keep

Speaker 5 this and that. I love going to that first target run where you get like your air freshener.
And it's like, this is going to be different. Here's my dish soap I'm going to use.
Clunk.

Speaker 5 You keep that same bottle for the whole two years you live there. You're moving out with a 95% full bottle of dish soap you bought on your first day.

Speaker 5 You're like, man, I really thought I was going to use it this time.

Speaker 5 Into the dumpster.

Speaker 5 Down the chute.

Speaker 5 Maybe it'll clean the trash on the way down. Oh, my goodness.
You're welcome. No, no, you know what?

Speaker 5 When I didn't have shit, when my only belongings that I really cared about were like my TV and my Xbox and maybe my computer, even though mostly I had shit computers until

Speaker 5 you bought me one when we were doing Drunk Minecraft, pretty much. Well, yeah, moving was okay because I never expected to have anything.

Speaker 5 And it was always like, let me bring these three things over to the new house. And then I guess if I can find a bed or something, like, fuck, whatever, who cares?

Speaker 5 But the more, the more you have stuff like my whole dissuad, where we do, where we work. God, I'm so fucking sick of tearing this thing down.
I don't, cause I'm like, I have all my stuff that works.

Speaker 5 I don't want new things. I want my things.
It's taken me so long to find all the specific little pieces of tech where I'm like, this works well enough.

Speaker 1 I'll just live with it.

Speaker 5 It's, it's, you know, blows my mind is like there was, there was an era when all of us had these mixers where we we could do voice changers and we could have sound effects ready.

Speaker 5 Like the GoXLR era was great, and then it was replaced with dog shit, absolute terrible things that just didn't work right out of the box.

Speaker 5 I literally am one bad like audio day away from just setting the GoXLR back up. You have to jank it together to get to, because I do two PC setup and you have to like patch things in and out and blah.

Speaker 5 Don't even care. It is still the most feature-rich, the most useful.
Yes, yes.

Speaker 5 Well, I wish I could do that. Well, a fucking alien.
Remember the auto-tune sneeze? The auto-tune sneeze? You can't do that anymore.

Speaker 5 You know, this is making me second guess. That was the Logitech headset had buttons on the side that had filters, and that was...
Hey, hey, guys, it's me. Oh, wait, no.

Speaker 5 The auto-tune sneeze, was that later? Was that GoXLR? Am I lying? That was GoXLR, yeah.

Speaker 5 Oh, I i might be lying i think it was and now everything's just i mean this is a beacon and i think it's fine but also i it like it it's very nice to be able to portable it but i why can't it do anything fun exactly right why can't i have buttons right here it does all the processing you know button i want to play it like a flute yeah

Speaker 5 it's like an instrument you can have like you could have buttons on the on the shaft you have buttons on the rump What if you had a cable,

Speaker 5 the USB cable? What if it had, you know how they used to have controls for like your your audio on the cable of your headphones where you could like turn the volume?

Speaker 5 We just had a string of buttons on the cable to the thing, and you're like, this is my, this voice, this is my mute button, this is, where are all the buttons? I don't know, man.

Speaker 5 I feel like tech has just taken a turn of such streamlining that things are, they don't have other features. They don't put them in.

Speaker 5 You don't need all the buttons whenever every video is only six seconds long, though.

Speaker 5 I feel like whenever I Google it too, it's always like, oh, yeah, we're definitely, we're going to add voice filters. Right now, we have the basic functionality.
They never do. It's a lie.

Speaker 5 This is very relatable stuff that we're complaining about here. Everybody hates their sound mixer.

Speaker 5 I think they do. I think there's a lot more people that have dabbled in streaming now than you think.
I mean, that's definitely true. That's true.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 I thought I was alone here.

Speaker 5 And

Speaker 5 it's just fine. Does somebody like walk by just staring at you.
You just have a knife? Yeah, just in case. Yes, I have a knife.
Why do you not have a knife?

Speaker 5 Do you not have multiple knives just at your desk ready to go?

Speaker 5 I only have the one, and this is only because I can't find my main knife. Wade, do you not just have a plethora of...
Here, Wade, take one of my knives. Wade.

Speaker 5 Thanks, man. Man, the editors are never going to be able to edit that in.

Speaker 5 You had the part where it went into you towards you. You didn't expose it.
When you get stabbed, here, throw me a knife.

Speaker 5 So does that mean Bob wins this episode?

Speaker 5 Does dying mean losing or winning? I sort of thought if you die during an episode, you might win.

Speaker 5 Oh, oh, there you go. See, that's how you do it.
That's how you put the editors to work on this episode. They have to turn around.

Speaker 5 Editors, do nothing. Don't help him.

Speaker 5 I did intend on keeping this one shorter for that reason. We kept saying we were going to do short episodes.

Speaker 5 We're like, guys, we're going to do a few short episodes, and then all of them were still 50 to 60 minutes long last time. So

Speaker 4 this episode is brought to you by McAfee. We all spend a lot of time online, obviously.

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Speaker 5 This episode is brought to you by Uber. You know that feeling when someone shows up for you when you need it most? Yeah.

Speaker 5 We all need that sometimes. And Uber knows that.
Uber isn't just a ride or a meal delivered. It's showing up no matter what.

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Speaker 5 So, you guys ready to play a game? Nah. I'm ready.
I win. Okay, I'm ready.
I'm ready.

Speaker 5 I'm ready. I'm ready.
Oh, wait, no, no, stop. I saw a concert.
You texted us the name of that concert. I don't know who the fuck that is.
What is that? Oh, you don't know David Byrne.

Speaker 5 Letting the days go by. Order going

Speaker 5 the blue.

Speaker 5 No, okay, I know that song. Yeah, yeah.
Once in a lifetime, yeah, he's like in his 80s. He hasn't toured in a long time, and he's got a new one.
How old is he? 73. 73.
Oh, man. Oops.
Sorry.

Speaker 5 Well, and he's the wide suit guy. I do know wide suit guy.
I'm not a huge, knowledgeable David Byrne guy.

Speaker 5 I know there's Talking Heads, which is like that song Once in a Lifetime is Talking Heads, which David Byrne is a part of that band, but David Byrne also performs by himself and he performed that song at the concert and also many others.

Speaker 5 I'm not 100% sure where the delineation is. So you liked it, I assume, because you brought it up? It was very fun.
And I don't often go out.

Speaker 5 I've been so busy that I haven't had any time, but Amy's bought tickets for this. I mean, any cool thing that I ever do is because of Amy.

Speaker 5 And I was very happy that we were able to actually go out there and because it's just been such a such a sprint and so heavy with things. It was nice to just be able to get out.

Speaker 5 I didn't even mention that. That's the small talk I didn't mention.
You mentioned sprint. I've been going on walks every day for like the last week for the first time ever.

Speaker 5 We went on like two to three mile walks, Molly and I. Like, that's good.
It's not exactly the best weather season in Ohio for that, but that's a very fun, like, that's a very good hobby.

Speaker 5 It feels good. It's nice to get out.
It was 70 degrees. Then it was 30 degrees and there was snow on the ground.

Speaker 5 Did you think this was my thumb?

Speaker 5 Listen, Spark was just sitting still,

Speaker 5 and a thumbs-up bubble popped up next to his face for no fucking reason. Is there a ghost in here? What the fuck?

Speaker 5 He thought he was alone. Are the thumbs in the room with us? Walking is

Speaker 5 one of the things, the thing that the thing

Speaker 5 in Japan,

Speaker 5 Japan, They live a long time.

Speaker 5 Walking is.

Speaker 5 Walking is Japan.

Speaker 5 Japan.

Speaker 5 Oh, yeah. Oops.

Speaker 5 Walking is very good for you, especially for longevity, they say. In Japan.

Speaker 5 I'm going to move to the game now. But yes, walking good.
Been fun.

Speaker 5 I call this Wade's Bob's word game. Do you remember the episode we did where Bob gave us a word and then

Speaker 5 you would say a word that you thought of, and

Speaker 5 you or I would say hotter or colder? We're going to do that. So I've got a list of at least four

Speaker 5 different pairs. That's probably enough.

Speaker 5 Look, I don't want to be that guy who challenges the host on his, but I think it'd be more accurate to call it Wade's Bob's Mandy's word game, just to be clear. Wade's Bob's Mandy's words game.

Speaker 5 Well, now I just feel excluded, you know. Featuring Markiplier.

Speaker 5 Oh, Bob, Bob, speaking of,

Speaker 5 did you show Mandy that video? I did. She's been talking to the team about it.
Yeah. So, Wade, okay, can I stop the game?

Speaker 5 Yeah, man. Why not? So, did you play the Callisto Protocol? No, but I'm familiar with it.
Yeah, I've seen it. I haven't played it.
You know how the characters in that game look really good, right?

Speaker 5 So there's a video. It's not my video.
It's Shameless Stolen, but it was really intriguing. Actually,

Speaker 5 not your Molly, but 3D Molly

Speaker 5 brought this video up, or maybe uh, anyway, Callisto Protocol. Um, I didn't know how good it looked until they did a side-by-side of the picture reference of the actors who played these characters.

Speaker 5 And my god, that game, if it wasn't in the game because it's destroyed by all the other things around the characters that are not photorealistic, it is identical, and I mean I fucking dentical

Speaker 5 because they changed up how they do their BRDFs. What does that mean? Don't fucking ask me.
I don't know. I just watched a YouTube video.
Big Real Dick Fungus. That's it.
He's got it.

Speaker 5 Everyone's been getting their big real dick fungus all wrong. People have been doing it on old big real dick fungus data from the 1790s, when in reality,

Speaker 5 some small dick fake

Speaker 5 plant.

Speaker 5 Anyway, they've been doing it wrong, so Mandy's gonna look up the big real dick fake data and put

Speaker 5 real good AI into that and fix it. And if you guys want to check out Real Good AI, here's the link.

Speaker 5 The funny thing is, uh, the I, my first question to a lot of people for Scripture was like, hey, can we have their

Speaker 5 BRDFs, their big real fake dicks? Can we have those?

Speaker 5 But apparently, it's not a thing you can just take from the game. They custom-tuned everything so it can't be recreated, which is really not very helpful.

Speaker 5 But I was like, oh, now there's something where machine learning might actually come in handy as opposed to everything else. Finding out, because it's an error rate thing.

Speaker 5 It's like trying to err from the real-life reference to do real-time graphics for games and stuff like that. Oh, anyway, I'm paraphrasing, but I don't know.
Maybe there's something there.

Speaker 5 This was not a worthy distraction, man. I'm sorry.
You should have started the game. You should have overruled me, man.
I didn't know what the video was. Listen, if anyone's to blame, it's Wade.

Speaker 5 This is why I don't win this season. I've come to find out.
I told Bob I've only won like a third of the episodes. I've really been on the down low.

Speaker 5 And then I did the math, and I was like, that doesn't sound right.

Speaker 5 And Mark and I have won the other two-thirds. Welcome to Wade's Bob's Mandy's word game featuring Markiplier.
Hey, man, that's me. That's me.
Bob, heads or tails? Tails. Tails, you go first.

Speaker 5 Like, you get the word and have to like hotter or colder or heads. Mark goes first.

Speaker 5 I saw Tails, I think.

Speaker 5 For the listeners,

Speaker 5 he flipped the coin and then got it.

Speaker 5 And in his rush to show the case,

Speaker 5 he threw it on the ground.

Speaker 5 Was Tails, and it landed on Tails again. So the first word I send you is the one that you're going to start with.
The second word is the one you want Mark to get.

Speaker 5 Okay.

Speaker 5 Do I tell Mark the first word? Is that how this works? Yeah, yeah, you tell him the first word. Like, you'll say the first word, then Mark will say the next word, and you'll say hotter or colder.

Speaker 5 All right, Mark. We're going to play hotter or colder.
And we're starting with scalpel. Doctor.
Hotter.

Speaker 5 Nurse. Same.

Speaker 5 Hospital? Colder.

Speaker 5 Room. Colder.

Speaker 5 Clothes.

Speaker 5 Colder. College.

Speaker 5 Colder. Smart.

Speaker 5 Huh. Colder.

Speaker 5 Malpractice.

Speaker 5 Colder.

Speaker 5 Blue.

Speaker 5 Warmer.

Speaker 5 Orange.

Speaker 5 Colder. Ah, that's a lie.
It's clearly warmer than blue, you stupid dumb game. Anyway, umbrella.
Colder. Ocean.

Speaker 5 Warmer. Oh, fuck.

Speaker 5 Sharks. Hot.

Speaker 5 Fish. Ding, ding, ding, motherfucker.

Speaker 5 That's how you play that game. You're welcome.
The last episode is an example of how that game is not meant to be played. That was a terrible example.
This is where it really starts.

Speaker 5 There you go, Mark. I sent you your word.
Wait, wait, did you send that to me in the chat that all of us could see? I don't think so.

Speaker 5 I see it scalpel the fish. You did.

Speaker 5 You did.

Speaker 5 I think you sent Marks in your private chat with me, Mark. You're so lucky I didn't look, god damn it.

Speaker 5 You just sent the answers to the test in the public group chat. Thank God I knew he also couldn't read.
Gamers don't look up. All right, I got it.
I got it. I got it.
I got it. I got it.
I got it.

Speaker 5 Shoe. Closet.

Speaker 5 Colder.

Speaker 5 Foot. Tiny bit warmer, maybe.
Okay.

Speaker 5 animal. Uh colder.
Bones.

Speaker 5 Colder. Uh store.

Speaker 5 Warmer. Uh money.
Warmer. Okay.

Speaker 5 Stock market. Colder.
Food. Warmer.
Okay.

Speaker 5 Eggs. I would say colder.
Okay.

Speaker 5 Slightly.

Speaker 5 Salt.

Speaker 5 Okay.

Speaker 5 I will. Okay.

Speaker 5 Warmer, but you you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.
Okay.

Speaker 5 No, I see that. I remember all these rules from last time.

Speaker 5 Fire.

Speaker 5 If I say warmer, it'll misguide you. So I'll say colder.
Oh, fire is clearly hot, you idiot.

Speaker 5 God, you got me. You're right.

Speaker 5 Look at editors, kill me.

Speaker 5 Editors, kill them in Guam.

Speaker 5 Fork.

Speaker 5 Colder.

Speaker 5 Dirt.

Speaker 5 Warmer. Leaves.
A little warmer. It's about the same.
I would call that about the same. Okay.
An eagle.

Speaker 5 Colder. Yep, I'm seeing it.
I'm drawing the dots. I'm extrapolating.

Speaker 5 A monkey's paw.

Speaker 5 Colder. Oh, okay.

Speaker 5 A book.

Speaker 5 Oh, man.

Speaker 5 Every time I say F said warmer, it's like the tiniest increment closer. I'm going to say warmer for the same reason I've said warmer to all the others.
Good. I don't want to move too fast.

Speaker 5 A post office.

Speaker 5 Oh, man. Come on, man.

Speaker 5 I mean, I guess kind of warm.

Speaker 5 Not, no, not really, but you know, it's like, I'm going to say colder because I think it's, but it's not that much colder. All right, all right.
That's

Speaker 5 the internet. Ah, cold.
A song.

Speaker 5 Oh.

Speaker 5 I mean,

Speaker 5 come on, man. You're killing me here.

Speaker 5 Little warmer. Oh, good.
Yeah. No, I'm still very confident that I know exactly what I'm trying to get to.
I'm dead. I'm dead.
I'm on it right now. Headphones.

Speaker 5 I mean,

Speaker 5 shame.

Speaker 5 Air.

Speaker 5 Come on.

Speaker 5 Warmer. You know? That's how that air is, you know.

Speaker 5 A fart.

Speaker 5 Okay. Colder.

Speaker 5 Water.

Speaker 5 Warmer.

Speaker 5 Lava.

Speaker 5 I mean,

Speaker 5 warmer?

Speaker 5 Well, like, iron? Colder. Uh, the sun.

Speaker 5 I mean, warmer. I swear, I swear all these things are tangentially real.

Speaker 5 We're going to all see it. It's going to come together.
You'll see. You'll see at the end of it.
The fact he has done a whole loop around is really funny.

Speaker 5 I'm not leading. I'm really not trying to lead you astray.
I want you to win so badly. A light bulb.
A little colder. No.
A car?

Speaker 5 I don't think it's any warmer than the other things. In fact, I think this would be colder in the same context that I've been given things.

Speaker 5 Okay.

Speaker 5 You know what I mean? In the context of warm or cold, this is cold, but in a warm way. Blood.

Speaker 5 Colder. A nuclear reactor.

Speaker 5 Colder. Okay.
No,

Speaker 5 I have no idea. I'm so lost right now.
Oh, man. I know why you're lost, and I feel responsible, even though it's in no way my fault.
It is all up to the host. I mean, I can't believe it.

Speaker 5 A baseball.

Speaker 5 Probably colder. Man, I bet you're feeling really stressed from this one, man.

Speaker 5 A migraine headache.

Speaker 5 Colder. Man, I don't want.
I mean, you're too tense. I wish I could just

Speaker 5 a hot tub. Oh, warmer.

Speaker 5 A jacuzzi.

Speaker 5 I mean, kind of the same. A hot spring.

Speaker 5 Oh, yeah, warmer. A geyser.

Speaker 5 Sure.

Speaker 5 Same.

Speaker 5 A volcano. Probably.
It's kind of, you know, it's all the same. It's all the same.
All these are the same. I'll tell you this.
All these are the same. And you'll know why.

Speaker 5 Pressure. That's not a thing.

Speaker 5 I mean, unless you're feeling pressure, and then actually this would, that would be warmer. What context are you talking about, the pressure? Diarrhea.

Speaker 5 Well, you know, okay, on certain ones of these, you might actually,

Speaker 5 it depends.

Speaker 5 It could be. What context are you talking about, this diarrhea?

Speaker 5 What the fuck? What's happening? A roller coaster?

Speaker 5 Well, you know, yeah, actually, it's a little, it's kind of like, yeah, a little

Speaker 5 a spaceship? Man, that would be a really good one of these.

Speaker 5 Whoa, a

Speaker 5 vacation?

Speaker 5 I'm so sorry. I assume I'm sorry.

Speaker 5 I see how this was a bad one. I see it now.

Speaker 5 No, I just took every clue that you gave in the exact opposite direction. You were, I don't even think it was really your fault.

Speaker 5 Like, I, you were giving me crumbs and I was being like, uh-huh, and then running the other way with that. And you were just like, oh no.

Speaker 5 You gave such difficult words that it was like, when you said post office, it's like, well, people send postcards on vacation. That's exactly what I was saying.

Speaker 5 I was like, and it was just as distant as all the others so i'm like yeah and then you went like internet and it was like well no not no probably not that but you could search for him i guess but i don't know

Speaker 5 like it's it's like he was saying warmer but you were like the same distance the entire time just going like a circle because it was like well i guess that's warmer but also it's about as close as because like salt was like well you know like ocean i guess there's a lot there's a lot of salt lava well there's also that.

Speaker 5 Yeah, so I don't know. All right, Bob, just for you this time.

Speaker 5 All right, Mark, lock in. We got this.
I'm ready. I'm ready.
I'm ready. I'm ready.
Remote. Towel.
Colder. Black.
Slightly warmer. A black towel.

Speaker 5 Same. Nope.

Speaker 5 The depths of the ocean.

Speaker 5 Colder. Space.
Yeah, colder. A banana.
Colder. Yellow.
Colder. Stop sign.
Slightly colder. The inevitability of death.
God, the instinct to just be like, hot, hot, hot, hot.

Speaker 5 No, but no, that would be colder. Okay, all right, all right then.
Music.

Speaker 5 Warmer. Musician.

Speaker 5 Yeah. Colder.
Instrument. Warmer.
A V8 engine. Colder.

Speaker 5 Wood. Colder.
Prodigy. Colder.
Piano.

Speaker 5 Colder. Hands.

Speaker 5 Warmer. So hands because

Speaker 5 you know.

Speaker 5 We all know. Cause it wasn't a specific instrument.
It wasn't a musician. Masturbation.

Speaker 5 You thought of that immediately and you're just pausing for a dramatic effect. Colder.

Speaker 5 Shitting in your hand and throwing it at your enemy. Maybe when you do it.
Colder. Human.
Colder. Bones.
Did I say bones?

Speaker 5 Colder. Skin.
Colder.

Speaker 5 Flesh. Colder.

Speaker 5 Chopsticks. Colder.
I'm not going to lead you down any wrong paths here, man, but we got to find a direction. Right.

Speaker 5 Like, right, not left. Not right, not right.
Right hand. Colder.

Speaker 5 Left.

Speaker 5 Cold, colder.

Speaker 5 What else is there about a hand? Jewelry.

Speaker 5 Warmer. Iron.
Like an iron or like the element iron? Iron. Element.

Speaker 5 Warmer. Magnets? Warmer.
You were thinking of it like a guitar or something. Back an instrument.
That's not a question. No, no, I already know.
You don't need to say anything. I can read your face.

Speaker 5 Science.

Speaker 5 Warmer. It's a doctor way back then.
To science? So

Speaker 5 was I circling? I wouldn't say you're circling yet, no. Science.
But it's not going to be a scientist.

Speaker 5 Scientist?

Speaker 5 What is it? I was nodding to what you said out loud. Oh, it's not going to be a scientist.
Yes, no. You are right.

Speaker 5 A Bunsen burner. Warmer.

Speaker 6 Fire.

Speaker 5 Colder. Gosh, I thought that's right.
Fuel. Colder.

Speaker 1 Safety precautions.

Speaker 5 Warmer. Language? Colder.
Signs. Colder.

Speaker 5 I'm going to divert. Okay.

Speaker 5 Just kidding. I'm going back.

Speaker 5 Desks. Go.
Colder.

Speaker 5 I'm leaving. Just try to

Speaker 5 mix it up a little bit. Just try to throw stuff out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. TV.

Speaker 5 Warmer. My name is Earl.

Speaker 5 Colder.

Speaker 5 All right. Okay, so TV show.
Colder.

Speaker 5 Technology. Warmer.
Computer.

Speaker 5 Same. Not any warmer.
Processor?

Speaker 5 Same.

Speaker 5 Um screen.

Speaker 5 Warmer. Light.

Speaker 5 Warmer. Eyes.
Warmer.

Speaker 1 Sight.

Speaker 5 Warmer.

Speaker 5 Vision.

Speaker 5 Warm, still warm. Warmer.

Speaker 5 The windows to the soul.

Speaker 5 Yeah, well, you probably would have to look through this to see into those, I guess. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Is it glass?

Speaker 5 Yeah, warmer. Is it glasses? Colder.
Wait, what the fuck? What do you mean you have an opportunity to do this? What do you got? Well, you got the soul viewer. All right.
You know what? You know what?

Speaker 5 Fair point. Glasses, slightly warmer.
Contacts.

Speaker 5 Slightly warmer. Cornea.

Speaker 5 Same. What? What? No fuck.

Speaker 5 You would have to look through this to see a TV screen. Yeah, that's true.
Air?

Speaker 5 Colder.

Speaker 5 Lens?

Speaker 5 Yes.

Speaker 5 I think I was part of the problem there. I'm not going to lie.

Speaker 5 He was like, glasses. Glasses have lenses.
Contacts. Contact lenses.

Speaker 5 When we got to TV and we were like, instruments, technology, TV, I was like, ooh, this is a direction, but it didn't.

Speaker 5 It's okay. I have to do it again.
So you can do whatever you want to me. Oh, God.
All right. Okay.
Now you get to torture Bob one last time. I'm not trying to.
I am.

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Speaker 5 Can you send it to everybody again? I hope not. Tea.

Speaker 5 Tea, like the drink tea. Yes.
Okay.

Speaker 5 Water.

Speaker 5 I almost said warmer, but in reality, that's colder. Oh, I see.
I see. Apple.
Colder.

Speaker 5 Plant. Colder.
Okay.

Speaker 5 Car. Colder.

Speaker 5 Book.

Speaker 5 Warmer.

Speaker 5 Language. Colder.

Speaker 5 Story.

Speaker 5 Colder. Movie.
Warmer. Entertainment.
Same.

Speaker 5 A concert. Colder.
Okay.

Speaker 5 A theater. Like a stage.
Theater. Not like a movie theater.
Colder.

Speaker 5 Actors. Colder.
A camera. Colder.
Light.

Speaker 5 Yeah, colder. Outside.
Colder.

Speaker 5 So, inside?

Speaker 5 Warmer. Okay.

Speaker 5 A TV.

Speaker 5 Warmer. An iPad.
That's the same, but I'm warning you. All right.
All right. The cold's right there.
You be careful.

Speaker 5 A couch.

Speaker 5 Damn. Nicely done.
Wait, so Mark's was Lens because Mark liked lenses. Mine is couch because what? I'm fat and lazy.
No, actually, lens was just the third one, and you won the coin flip.

Speaker 5 Either one of you could have had lenses. Oh, okay.
I guess that's true. These were not people-specific.

Speaker 5 Sure. Now.
And it's because you fuck couches.

Speaker 5 Oh, I am from Cincinnati.

Speaker 5 It's the Ohio way. It's why some cushions get the little indents.
It's actually the secret thing that a Cincinnati three-way is. It's you and the couch and whoever last sat on the couch.
Yep.

Speaker 5 Chili, me, couch. And you could add beans if you want.
Cheese, chili, me, beans, spaghetti, couch, onions.

Speaker 5 Onions on bottom. This guy.

Speaker 5 Call that a Kansas City way right there. That's why I'm in L.A.
I couldn't fit in. I couldn't fit in.
All right.

Speaker 5 Well, we'll wrap there because we've gone a while. We've done a lot of small talk, but...
In no particular order, Bob, you have points for. You moved.

Speaker 5 Small talk point because I didn't have this and wasn't really thinking about it, but I still give you small talk point because that's the rules or whatever. And you got vacation and couch.

Speaker 5 Mark, you got points for you're a movie man. Your small talk, which was great, top-tier small talk.
Fish, lens, you lost the point for calling me stupid.

Speaker 5 You gained a point for calling me stupid or for calling me genius, rather.

Speaker 5 Which leaves you both tied at four going into the wheel. Oh, perfect.
What are you adding to the royal, oh, glorious host man?

Speaker 5 I'm trying to think of something that's, um, I was gonna go with like most roundabout way of getting there, but that doesn't really apply to much. It's really specific to this.

Speaker 5 Worst guesser, yeah, worst guesser, that's a good one. Still somewhat specific to episodes, but like it's a little bit more broad.
We might guess things in any given episode, yeah.

Speaker 5 Just do worst guesser. I don't know which one I would call worst guesser in this particular episode, but I feel like it has to be me.
You had the longest roundabout way, but not sure, you know, sure.

Speaker 5 You know what? You earned it. If it lands on there, Bob, you earned that point.

Speaker 5 That's the scam I'm I'm running here, baby. All right.
How many spins will we spend? Really hoping it's an odd number for no particular reason.

Speaker 5 Two spins, baby.

Speaker 5 That's uncomfortable for me. Mark, I'll make you a handshake deal right now.
You get one, I get one. Boom.
Deal. You know, as the host, I veto this.

Speaker 5 Does the host have the power to veto handshake wheels? Deals, swiel deals, swiel and dealings. None of us know the Constitution well enough to make one way or another about things.

Speaker 5 Pretty sure the host has to be in on at least a little bit. No, I think the host has to explicitly not be in on handshake deals.
I thought that was kind of the whole thing.

Speaker 5 I have to be on the points, I get to decide the points. Whatever you decide, Mark and I make it a tie.

Speaker 5 Great, but that's not happening. Should we just spin the wheel? You know what, Bob? You get a free point for thinking of what a great idea, Bob.
What a great idea.

Speaker 5 They're just

Speaker 5 racking up cheating points. Oh, let me just get some points to Bob here.

Speaker 5 And it's best looking.

Speaker 5 Well, that's pretty subjective. I don't.

Speaker 5 My camera's kind of shit right now, but you know, I'm trying.

Speaker 5 I you can tell by my hair and how greasy it is, it's been an extra day since I've had a shower, so I'm not gonna give this one up without a fight, but yeah, but I'm gonna give it to Bob.

Speaker 5 Bob's in a new office looking snazzy, great camera, fully in frame, more than usual. Oh, sorry,

Speaker 5 sorry,

Speaker 5 hang on, you're a little 420p for me, Mark. No, I'm so color-balanced.
Look, it's your favorite color. Burgundy.
That's why he's wearing a burgundy shirt, like me. Spin number two.

Speaker 5 Man, I hope it's shortest. No way to bend that one.

Speaker 5 Said fuck the most.

Speaker 5 I said fuck a lot. I'm not going to lie.
Big rotten dick fuck. Oh, no, yeah, you wait.
You did say, yeah.

Speaker 5 That adds a bunch. You know what?

Speaker 5 That's unfair. Wait, oh.
Wait, wait, whoa, whoa, wait. I just unfaired myself.
What does that have?

Speaker 5 What does that do? That can't. I don't know.
Is the host ever unfair?

Speaker 5 You can't do that. I mean, you have to decide, I guess, because you're the host, but like.
What does that do? I don't know. No, it was.
I didn't like that it was a tie. It was unfair that it tied up.

Speaker 5 So Wade calls unfair

Speaker 5 tying.

Speaker 5 So if he gets all heads, we don't tie.

Speaker 5 But if we get all tails, we tie twice in a row for Wade and he has to spin the winner's wheel twice you know what's fucked up about this is I have to go get a try a coin of fairness from upstairs

Speaker 5 wait you have like an actual coin of fairness I have an actual coin of fairness I just got it that sucks all right see man I did not mean to actually say unfair.

Speaker 5 It came out so awkwardly. I assumed you were throwing that out on purpose.
I think in my brain, I was like, don't say unfair. And my mouth was like, unfair.
Fuck. I'll let you guys pick the color.

Speaker 5 We got black, burgundy,

Speaker 5 silver, and gold. Oh, I like gold.

Speaker 5 All right. Nice.
All right. Heads, heads, it's unfair.
Tails, it's doubly fair. Middle, it's just still a tie.

Speaker 5 I don't think I could do that because the prototype, it's the same on both fucking setups.

Speaker 5 That's the same on both sides.

Speaker 5 You know, I hadn't looked too closely at these. I hadn't thought about these.

Speaker 5 Maybe it's time to revisit the drawing.

Speaker 5 Fuck, that's so funny. All right, so there's a this one has a rough side where you can see that it's clearly like the base layer of the 3D print, and this side is much better finished.
Oh, sure, sure.

Speaker 5 Okay,

Speaker 5 so it's like that. So smooth, smooth as heads, rough as tails.
Smooth as head, rough tails, like like

Speaker 5 what's his face? Two face. Come on, old rough side.

Speaker 5 Tails. Heads.
I don't know. That's heads, I think.
That looks smooth. That looks smooth to me.
So nothing happens. It's just the tie.
Take us to the tie wheel, I guess.

Speaker 5 How much? What did we add? 8% a time or something? No,

Speaker 5 it's not that much yet. No, I think it's 6.
I think you're right. It's 6.
No, it's 2. 2%? What is 2? No, it isn't.
Yeah, we only do 2. Yeah, we used to tie a lot more.
Oh, okay.

Speaker 5 We did used to have a lot of ties. Okay, so you would add four.
No, how much would you add to this then? Because it's 360. So 2% of 360 is.
You still, it starts with six.

Speaker 5 It was at, I believe it was at like whatever it is now is what it's at. Oh, that's why.
Okay, so it's, so I'm going to add seven because it's in degrees. Yeah, something like that.

Speaker 5 There you go.

Speaker 5 Change Wade to Bob, though, because I'm not. I don't want to.
I'd love to win, but. I was just analyzing that.
Bob won Nancho. No, no, no, no.
Yeah,

Speaker 5 anyway. let's decide Wayne's fate.

Speaker 5 Oh, fucking. Oh, my God.
Okay.

Speaker 5 Jesus Christ. I like how all of us are like, wait, no, I don't really want to do that right now.
I've got too much. None of us want it.

Speaker 5 We have no time to make ones. It's like, oh, no.
All right, I win.

Speaker 5 Oh, Amy's wondering where I am.

Speaker 6 Oh, please. Let's wrap it up.

Speaker 5 Congrats, Mark. You won.
Winner speed.

Speaker 7 Thank you. Oh, I love winning.
It feels so good. I just, I ruined my pants because because the joy of winning was too good.

Speaker 6 It was too good.

Speaker 7 The best win.

Speaker 5 Thank you. Bob Loser speech.
I don't like losing at all. I ruined my pants because how much I hate losing.
It's a terrible feeling.

Speaker 5 The worst feeling. I never want to lose again.
I look forward to losing the next one. As the host watching the wheel approached one-man show and then just

Speaker 5 real quick also made me hate it and I messed up my pants. And if you want to mess up yours, keep watching the next episode of Distractor.

Speaker 2 We're Bobble hosts.

Speaker 5 I'm sorry, we're Mark will host.

Speaker 5 Well, close enough, whatever. I panicked.
You can find Market Markiplier, Bob at MyScore, me at Minion777, Lord Minion777. Stay tuned for the next one.
Later,

Speaker 5 you're not going to say the thing. You're not going to say the thing.
Oh, podcast. Out.

Speaker 5 Watch new episodes on Spotify.