Please Laugh

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Speaker 1 On Facebook, a little connection goes a long way, especially the night before Thanksgiving. Facebook is the only way I keep track of like a lot of my family members.

Speaker 1 Around the holidays, we're all like nostalgic and remembering like the time that we could all fit under one roof.

Speaker 1 And so we all reach out like, oh, have these stories and such, which is actually really, really nice. But you know what's even better than that? Things.

Speaker 1 Facebook Marketplace is my favorite.

Speaker 1 But it's even more fun when I have to go visit my stupid parents around the holidays and I can pull up Facebook Marketplace and see what's for sale around their house.

Speaker 1 I caught up with a friend I hadn't talked to. Would you buy? A few moments of their time.
You had to pay for that? Ha, lane. Let's reconnect this holiday season with Facebook.

Speaker 1 This episode is brought to you by Joe Malone London. I don't like smelling like everyone else.
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Speaker 1 This episode of Distractible is presented by T-Mobile 5G Home Internet. Okay.

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Speaker 1 Guarantee exclusions details at tmobile.com slash home internet. Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractible,

Speaker 1 The Sipsum. Wailing Wade inflicts tongue-twisting terror as he makes mimicry most mocking.
Medallic Mark, Texas Ranger, witnesses warner's sound security.

Speaker 1 Is a constipated mouse, gagging golem, it, and sad shaggy. Boxed up Brooklyn Bob goes a roaming, does deeply demonic trick Bill brilliantly, and a fabulous froggy.

Speaker 1 From Wade's nips to bad-mouthed Elmo.

Speaker 1 It's time for

Speaker 1 please laugh.

Speaker 1 Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

Speaker 1 Hello everyone, welcome back to another episode of Distractible. I'm today's host, Ish.

Speaker 1 I thought you forgot your name. I legitimately thought you were.

Speaker 1 I have some imposter syndrome going on today.

Speaker 1 I'm Ron Burgundy. I didn't win last episode, but I'm hosting on behalf of the listeners who did win.
You're going to get all the ire.

Speaker 1 All the listeners listeners are going to channel their hate at you. It's his fault.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 They might.

Speaker 1 Unless I built an episode specifically for the listeners, time will tell. Damn, we did not have that much time in between these episodes.
Oh man. I had about two minutes.

Speaker 1 They're going to be happy.

Speaker 1 Oh boy. Because we're speedrunning today.
If you're wondering why I'm wearing the same shirt for the next six episodes, it's because we're doing a run and I'm gross.

Speaker 1 Uh, joined as always by Mark and Bob, who also didn't win. None of us won last episode, but I can confirm weight is gross.
Thank you. I need my points pad.

Speaker 1 You're wearing that shirt that's like flesh toned, so it looks like you're just topless sitting here hosting the episode. Editors, put in nipples.
You probably can't. Come on.

Speaker 1 Oh, they can. Just two nipples appear on your forehead.

Speaker 1 Wherever you want. Dealer's choice.
So, how are you guys? Fill in while I get my notepad ready that definitely was ready already moving

Speaker 1 god i fucking hate moving um you're moving yeah i don't know if you could see remember how all these shelves used to have shit all over them uh this i can only hope will be the last time i ever move for the rest of my life damn we'll see if that holds up because i'm pretty sure i said something like that when we move to this place but uh we are moving the movers will be here in less than 48 hours um i will say this this area, like my desk is covered in all the same.

Speaker 1 I haven't packed at all. This is the least packed part of the entire house.

Speaker 1 All the rest of our house is in like boxes and shit, but we have been hardcore pretty much most of the day, every day since Saturday, and today is Tuesday, moving, packing, carrying heavy shit up and downstairs.

Speaker 1 I fell on the stairs one time. Totally fine, survived.
But the movers actually show up and then we'll be moved over.

Speaker 1 Honestly, Honestly, as much as I despise moving, this is lame because I always do this and circle it back to being a dad now that I'm a dad.

Speaker 1 But the most concerning part of all this for me is I'm curious how James is going to handle it, right? We've already moved once, but he was like a baby when we moved.

Speaker 1 We moved from California back to Ohio to be closer to our parents when he was like 10 months old, which was tricky because 10 months olds are tricky. But this is different now, right?

Speaker 1 He's he's old enough now where like his room is his room. He knows that that's his bed, that's his bookshelf, this is his book.
We're like packing up his belongings, and they're disappearing.

Speaker 1 And he's kind of like, Hey, didn't that bookshelf wasn't that full of books? Where'd all my books go? And it's like, he's being really cool so far, but I'm curious.

Speaker 1 The first night, like, we're going to sleep in this house tomorrow night. And then the next night, we're going to sleep in the other house.

Speaker 1 And his bed is going to be in a new room, and it's going to be smell different. And I just don't know how it's going to go.
He might be totally fine. He's really chill.
He likes traveling.

Speaker 1 He loves staying in hotels and stuff.

Speaker 1 We've done that a couple of times, but I'm worried that it's going to be hard on him because he is so young, it's hard to express how he's feeling or understand exactly how he's feeling.

Speaker 1 And moving is weird and moving is difficult. So it sucks and I hate packing.

Speaker 1 But the main thing on my mind is James because I'm really curious and just want to make sure he does okay because it's a big change for a little kid who doesn't necessarily understand.

Speaker 1 why all his shit is all moved around and not where it's supposed to be anymore.

Speaker 1 But it'll be over over soon, he said, forgetting about the three months of unpacking that always follows a move from house to house.

Speaker 1 I want to comment, but I need to sneeze.

Speaker 1 I'll allow it. I'll comment.
Moving? Ha! Would never. I would never do that.

Speaker 1 Ever. In the history of forever.
Have I ever moved? Not once. Since I've known you, I think you're in the longest period of not moving that I know of.
That actually is true.

Speaker 1 If you just stay in hotels and Airbnbs, you don't have to move. You can be anywhere.
That's true. You kind of practically live in Texas, but you don't, you didn't move there.
You're goddamn right.

Speaker 1 I have been so in hotels, and everything has been kind of crazy. I've been doing a lot of traveling.
I was at, this is probably not a secret, but I was at Warner Brothers mixing stage for the movie.

Speaker 1 Don't get excited, everybody. They're not doing it.
Final stretch.

Speaker 1 I was at Warner Brothers lot because the sound mixer Brad was like, it would be really great if we could put the finishing touches in an actual, like, really large large movie theater room.

Speaker 1 And this was super cool because I had never seen anything more than his mixing room, which is not small. It's not tiny, but it's like a living room size with a projector screen and it's pretty good.

Speaker 1 This was literally, if you took a movie theater and you pulled out all the chairs, that's what this was. That's fun.
And it just had a big sound mixing desk.

Speaker 1 It had an upper level where there was like a desk up there that I could work on as he was doing that. And

Speaker 1 it was really, really, really fun. Just, you know, unfortunately came at a terrible time because all the other things going on, but I did appreciate the experience because I got to go.

Speaker 1 I'm not really much for touring the lots, but I was able to go onto Warner Brothers lot with an actual like, I belong here path, which is very funny.

Speaker 1 Okay, this is, this is probably, I don't know if this is talking about their security too much, but what's really funny to me about their security is they don't allow Ubers to go in, which I understand.

Speaker 1 Sure. I usually would drive and I would go there.

Speaker 1 I i show the pass of my id and then i go on but one day for some reason or another i didn't have my car and i had to take an uber there and i didn't realize he could drop off so he turns around the uber driver's pissed at me tanked my score probably but you know it's fine i i get out and i'm like okay i'll go through and i don't know why i thought i could go through the car gate but i walk up to the gate again

Speaker 1 he just glares at me and he points to the the pedestrian entrance but what's silly to me is i go through the pedestrian entrance and there's a whole rigmarole, like metal detector scanning, looking at your bags.

Speaker 1 There's like two people on either side checking for just me. I was the only one there, I guess, for studio tours to do that.
But they don't do that for cars. So I'm just like,

Speaker 1 wait, I could bring anything in my car.

Speaker 1 Why are you checking my bag? I can bring it. This seems like a glaring suspicion.
So maybe I shouldn't talk about that as like a glaring weakness in their security protocol, but it just seems strange.

Speaker 1 But there must be a reason.

Speaker 1 I mean, I'm assuming that if you were an employee, you'd be driving, but I'm like, not every employee drives and some park out in the there's there's garage. Anyway, I don't know.

Speaker 1 It's none of my business. It was cool.
There was a lot going on there. I didn't peek my head into any of the sound stays.

Speaker 1 So, and I probably couldn't say anything if I did see something, but it was nice. It was actually a really nice place.

Speaker 1 They had like this whole cafeteria, which I forget that most places of employment have their own cafeteria. It's very good food.

Speaker 1 I didn't go out for lunch to the cafeteria a lot because I was working the whole time, but it was a nice experience and it was super cool. That's fun.

Speaker 1 And then one of the Warner Brothers, a guy who was in the room, said it was fucking badass. So I'm very, very happy about that.

Speaker 1 And that's it. Nice.
Yep. Well,

Speaker 1 I got to say, Mark,

Speaker 1 you earned the segue point.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. Warner Brothers? Security flaws? Whenever you got to the gate, somebody said something to you, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And how did they sound?

Speaker 1 He glared at me and then pointed to the. Yeah, he didn't say anything.

Speaker 1 This is a pedestrian line. I thought you did a voice at one point.
Get out of here, Bub. I don't know what it is.
That wasn't it. All right.
Well, give me the point.

Speaker 1 You know what? We're getting a half a segue pop. Come on.

Speaker 1 Because you can't even remember. We never had to remember what our segues was before.
You would just tell us.

Speaker 1 That's okay, because it's the only point I've assigned for all the small talk was half of a segue point. The listeners won the last episode and the listeners are out for blood.

Speaker 1 There's no small talk points. Okay.
There's half of a segue point. But for the listeners, we, all three of us, are going to be doing some fun impressions today.
Voice impressions.

Speaker 1 Oh, I just realized my intestines are exploding. And I've got a list.

Speaker 1 I've got a list of tongue twisters that we get to read while doing voice impressions. Tongue twisters? What the fuck? Yay! Listeners!

Speaker 1 Wow, good, great, good.

Speaker 1 Listeners, I'm never going to let you win anything ever again the rest of your lives.

Speaker 1 Just wait till the viewers win and we have to do something with our eyeballs. This will be crazy.
So I'm going to keep this one again. We're aiming to get some quick episodes done.

Speaker 1 Our last one went a little bit longer than intended, so I'll try to keep this short. So I've got a list of like 30 impressions.

Speaker 1 I'm going to spin them on a a wheel and whenever we get close to time we'll just call it. We'll get as many as we can before then.
Okay.

Speaker 1 We'll do this in kind of whatever, let's see the order. We'll go Bob mark me.
Hooray. For the first one.

Speaker 1 And then we'll mark me. Bob, you know, we'll kind of like rotate in the order that we do.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 Bob, you'll get to go first on this one. And your tongue twister will be Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
Okay, good. That's not the part I'm worried about.

Speaker 1 You know, I'm just going to post this list of them so you guys can actually read them because the whole point isn't to memorize. I don't want to dread.
I'm not going to look. There you go.

Speaker 1 Here's your list. And we're just going to read the first line of each of these.
I don't even want to know.

Speaker 1 So for the first one, for number one, we're just going to read the first line. Number two, we'll read that first line.
So on and so forth. So, Bob, your first impression is going to be.

Speaker 1 Well, we're all going to do this impression. Mickey Mouse.
Mickey Mouse reading Peter Piper picked a peck of of pickled peppers.

Speaker 1 All right. Well,

Speaker 1 I could maybe do this one. You know, I don't do, I don't, I have, I'm like H.
John Benjamin. My, my voice acting is my voice.

Speaker 1 I do my voice, and that's the extent of my voices, which is an insult to him because he actually does do other voices pretty well. But I'm,

Speaker 1 anyway, I'm stalling because I don't want to do this. Yep.
Oh,

Speaker 1 oh, Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. Ho ho, pack of pickled peppers, Peter Piper.
You just had to do the first line.

Speaker 1 You can keep going if you want, though. Oh, no, I'm done then.
That's good. Yeah, I just want this is just a quick, quick fire.
Stand back, everybody.

Speaker 1 Peter!

Speaker 1 Picked up packs!

Speaker 1 Oh, pickled peppers!

Speaker 1 Like Mickey's on cocaine? Yeah, somehow that sounds like Mickey doing Heath Ledger's Joker.

Speaker 1 Do you want to know how I got these scars? Oh, I'm going to show you a magic brick!

Speaker 1 Those are decent, guys. Those are actually decent.
Those both whirl? Yeah, they're decent impressions. Alright, wait.

Speaker 1 You're including me with that? Yeah, we're on the same level. Same level.
I'm not going to give you my top five ordering of that. That's last episode, but...

Speaker 1 Oh, thank God.

Speaker 1 I'm already I got to do it.

Speaker 1 Peter Piper picked up pickle pickle pippers.

Speaker 1 We just picked ones that he would be good at. Actually, I found a list of impressions for beginners.

Speaker 1 It turns out every impression I could do is is on the list for beginners.

Speaker 1 Oh, God.

Speaker 1 All right. Okay.

Speaker 1 Bob, you went first that time. Mark, you'll go first.
I guess I'll go second. Bob, you'll go third this time.
Sure.

Speaker 1 It's like an improv game. We're just going through the line.

Speaker 1 Let's do it, boys. We know this.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Mark, you're going to be leading the first line for number two, the Betty Bodder line.

Speaker 1 As Donald Duck. Oh, fucking what? Fucking what? That was a request from Bob specifically.
Yeah, well, I was sort of hoping I wouldn't have to do that one.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 I can't do Donald either, so this is gonna be terrible for all of us.

Speaker 1 I hope the listeners are real happy about their win.

Speaker 1 Okay, that went somewhere else, and I'm going to stop now.

Speaker 1 I don't know how any of us mark can get a point for that.

Speaker 1 Just for clarity, the line was, Betty Botter bought some butter, but she said the butter's bitter. If I put it in my batter, it will make my batter bitter.
That's what Mark said.

Speaker 1 I think that's a terrible Donald Duck impression.

Speaker 1 Wade, you should dock him points. No,

Speaker 1 I'm not impressionizing. Wade's next.
Oh, I am. Oh, fuck.

Speaker 1 What? How the fuck? That's close. I feel like we were doing the same kind of mouth thing, but mine did not come out like that.
Did that sound anywhere close? Did it? Yeah, it did.

Speaker 1 I haven't listened to Donald Duck in a long time, but that was pretty close. Yeah, that was pretty close.
Compared to what happened before and what's about to happen now, I think that was way closer.

Speaker 1 All right, yeah, here we go. This is gonna be great.

Speaker 1 Fucking God.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 hang on. Let me fuck cheese.

Speaker 1 Oh, I can't do it without making myself laugh.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 That's the villain Batman's choking. Where are the drums going?

Speaker 1 No, no, it's Smeagle. Wait, hang on.
That's different. You guys have made these characters sound so threatening.

Speaker 1 That was on purpose.

Speaker 1 hit you.

Speaker 1 How do you make that sound without tensing every muscle in your entire existence? I don't know. In my, like, you know how you hear your own voice differently? To me, I'm not even close.

Speaker 1 I'm glad it sounds close to you. Yours sounds like you at least know what you're trying to do.

Speaker 1 And like, it's not like you're doing the voice, but like it's, if someone heard that, they'd be like, oh, you're doing Donald. If someone heard mine, they'd be like,

Speaker 1 is he okay?

Speaker 1 It's almost like you have to combine it with another, like, you have to almost high-pitch your voice a little bit, but also

Speaker 1 nah, I'm good. I'm good.
I don't think I'm refining that one. I think that's staying.
I can't do it well either, but I mean, that's what I was doing.

Speaker 1 That made my whole head hurt in a way that it doesn't usually. Oh, okay.
I gotta go first on this one. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck? A woodchuck could chuck wood? William Shatner.

Speaker 1 How much would

Speaker 1 a woodchuck chuck

Speaker 1 if

Speaker 1 a woodchuck could chuck wood? Mr. Spock.

Speaker 1 I think you're doing someone else. He would chuck.

Speaker 1 Would, would,

Speaker 1 as much as he could. That's the.
No, no, he's leading us in the right direction. No, he's got it.
We just got to replicate what he's doing. I'm kind of Christopher Walkening my Shatner.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you kind of walkened it.

Speaker 1 I don't think I have a leg to stand on to make fun of anyone else's impersonation. I'm Christopher Walken if William Shatner had a baby for me.
Oh, so does that mean I have to go next? Yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, see, now I was just laughing at you, but now I have to do it. I immediately regret that I laughed at you.
How much wood? Would a woodchuck chuck? If a woodchuck could chuck wood, Mr. Spock.

Speaker 1 Is he at Mr. Spock? It's immediately Shatner.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 He says Mr. Spock after every sentence, I'm pretty sure.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right.
I'm going to do an impression. I'm going to do it.
Because you have to? No, because William Shattner is just a guy.

Speaker 1 How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Speaker 1 I'm pretty sure when he's just talking in interviews, that's just how he talks normally off camera. That's how he talks.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure.

Speaker 1 I'm trying to remember the commercials he did. Oh, wait, you didn't say Mr.
Spock, though, so I'm on. No, no, that's his character.
Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he did all the commercials for whatever that travel thing was. Expedia? It was one of those travel off your expedia or something.
Travel opposite pathy. Travelopathy.
You know, the disease.

Speaker 1 Priceline? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Priceline. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We're back to Mark going first. Oh, boy.
Yay. So, Mark, you have to do she sells seashells by the seashore as Scooby-Doo.
Rookie. She.

Speaker 1 Wait, the list doesn't apply here, right? She had legs for days, Raggy.

Speaker 1 There wouldn't be R's for she. It'd just be she, not re.
Well, he says Raggy instead of Shaggy. Oh, God, he does.
Rerails, re-rells by the re-roar. That's actually a really good idea.
There you go.

Speaker 1 Thank you. Thank you.
Wait, is it me? Yes. I went last the first time.
Right.

Speaker 1 Rerails, re-rells. Ride the re-roar.

Speaker 1 Ride the re-roar? Is that how he does it? It was very good, man. That was good.
That was good. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, was he a horse?

Speaker 1 Come on, come on. Hey.

Speaker 1 Listen, if you're allowed to leave during my episode, I'm going to consider doing that here now.

Speaker 1 Reroz, resell, viral reroar. Reshells?

Speaker 1 That one. Reshells, reshells.
I figured out how to say an S just for this one word. Raggy? What a thing to come up for the S's.
Yeah, really not great. Let's move on immediately.

Speaker 1 This episode is brought to you by Uber. You know that feeling when someone shows up for you when you need it most? Yeah.

Speaker 1 We all need that sometimes. And Uber knows that.
Uber isn't just a ride or a meal delivered. It's showing up no matter what.

Speaker 1 I think that might be them knocking on the door because they're, you know, Uber's really good about getting them right to where you are. Do you them or the FBI? I'm not 100%

Speaker 1 sure. Yep.

Speaker 1 When it really matters, whatever it is, you show up. Or there's a will.
We're on our way. Uber.
On our way. Download the app today.

Speaker 1 Bob, you're first. I'm second.
Mark's third. What is this tongue twister? Is this an established tongue twister? I don't know.
How can a clam cram in a clean cream can? What the fuck is that?

Speaker 1 Okay, but you have to do your best clown impression for this. Like a bozo the clown type thing.

Speaker 1 Any clown? I mean, I'm kind of thinking like, you know, default kind of...

Speaker 1 I can't.

Speaker 1 I'm second on the impression list. Just do a clown.
Okay. What you think a clown sounds like? The stereotypical kind of clown voice.
Yep. I know what clowns sound like because I see a lot of clowns.

Speaker 1 Hey, kids! How can a clown cram in a clean cream can?

Speaker 1 Is that what clowns sound like? I don't want that clown to be in my house. Hey, it's Mark's birthday, everybody.
Oh, no. Please.

Speaker 1 Do you want me to make you a balloon animal? Nope. No.
I'll make you a frog. What?

Speaker 1 Okay. It's harder than it sounds.
It sounds difficult. Why would that be an animal you can make? I got green balloons.
What else am I going to make? You're not a guru, are you?

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Who's next? Wait, turn? I don't know this order.

Speaker 1 I don't know this. I think we're just randomly shuffling.
I don't know. The order's fine.
It's me now. It's fine.
It's fine. How can the clam cram in the clean cream cram? Naggle puss?

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 be

Speaker 1 your chuckles from Legends of Avantis, right? Yeah, yeah, there you go. Chuckles.
Yeah, chuckles. Yeah, got that.
All right. Why does she wear seashells? Because she's too big for beeshells.

Speaker 1 That's why my friends back home all called me whiskers.

Speaker 1 Because I'm curious like a cat. It helps by crippling depression.

Speaker 1 All right, okay.

Speaker 1 Hello, Georgie.

Speaker 1 How can a clam cram in a clean cream can?

Speaker 1 It's Pennywise. It's Pennywise.

Speaker 1 I got there.

Speaker 1 Okay, cool. All right, good.
I wasn't sure. You just seemed surprised by the sound that came out of your mouth a little bit.
We all were, I think.

Speaker 1 It's fine. Don't worry about it.
Hiya, Georgie. Hello, Georgie.
I thought it was great. That was immediately recognizable as Pennywise.
It was spot on. Good, good, good.
Good.

Speaker 1 It just made me laugh, but we're here. We're doing bits.
Clowns make you laugh. Honestly, I hate that tongue twister.
That's a bad one. I don't like that one at all.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't want to clam, cram, cram clans. I don't want to cram anything in anything else.
Even if it was like clean, dirty, I don't care. What's a cream can? I don't know.
Whipped cream can.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I don't like it.
Okay, I think I'm first on this one. Then we will have all had to lead at least once.
Is that right? Sure. Twice? I mean, twice, I mean.
Yes. Yes.

Speaker 1 Shaggy from Scooby-Doo. Wait, aren't these the same tongue twister? Ice cream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream.
Oh, sorry, I was looking at the next one. I was stupid.

Speaker 1 Why could that not have been the clown? Ice cream, you scream. Okay, Shaggy.
You're the host. You can do whatever you want.
It's random. I'm doing a wheel.
Yeah, but you could lie.

Speaker 1 I guess that's true. Like, ice cream, you scream.
We all scream for ice cream. That wasn't good.
What? Zoinks.

Speaker 1 i thought that was okay that's that's what he sounds like isn't it i don't think it was good i thought so but this is gonna be worse so i think that

Speaker 1 yeah i heard that i'm like that's not shaggy but i'm also like

Speaker 1 oofers i don't think i can

Speaker 1 like scoob like scoob i scream you scream

Speaker 1 we all scream for ice cream

Speaker 1 Fucking what the fuck? Hey, that's

Speaker 1 I knew who you were going for. Yeah, that's recognizable.
The listeners are picturing these characters saying these things. Man, we don't know what that is.

Speaker 1 That was like Matthew Lillard was in the room with us. I love Matthew.
I always come back.

Speaker 1 I remember when Shaggy said that before killing the children.

Speaker 1 Oh, now I have to go. You do.

Speaker 1 The enjoyment is immediately ruined.

Speaker 1 Like, Zoink scoop, I scream. You scream.
Like, we all scream for some ice cream, man.

Speaker 1 Beautiful. Right.
Yeah. That was good.
Just improvise a little bit. Yeah.
It's a bit harder than you'd think, man. He says man a lot, right? Yeah.
It's much harder than I would think it would be.

Speaker 1 Should we wrap there? Should I do one more round? I know we're trying to keep these shorter. One more.
One more round.

Speaker 1 Mark's not done stuff.

Speaker 1 I got it. Let's do it.
I got it. So now we're back to Mark, Bob, then me.
Yep. Okay, this is Susie in the Shoothine shop as Kermit.
I don't want to go anymore. I think we should stop.

Speaker 1 This is a beginner one. We can do this, I think.
Oh, God. What does Kermit sound like? It's okay to take a moment to like practice.
Like, if you if you want to like get it out there.

Speaker 1 It's like

Speaker 1 a fucking AI model trying to figure out how to to do this.

Speaker 1 That's okay. Bob's got me on like the Avantarist train, so I'm like, Torbeck doesn't want to do any more impressions.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. I've seen the animations for that.
But that's not Kermit, is it? No. Well, then why'd you do it? No, I just have Avantarist voices in my head.

Speaker 1 You know, it's not easy being green. These are the same.
Should I do the second one or the first one?

Speaker 1 Susie. It's number seven.
Because it's, I saw Susie sitting in a shoe shine shop. Susie works in a shoe shine shop.
Is the next one? Whichever one you want to do. I guess.
Yeah. Do the longer one.

Speaker 1 That one's funny. Yeah, I'll do the long one.
Susie. Nope, that's shaggy.

Speaker 1 Ah, man. Kermit, huh? I'm going to look up a video about Kermit.

Speaker 1 Kermit sounds is what I googled. I'm bad at googling, man.
Gone downhill. Okay, I got it.
Hey-ho. Nope, I don't got it.
Hey-ho.

Speaker 1 Kermit the frog here. Alright.
Susie works in a shoe shine shop. Where she shines, she sits.
And where she sits, she shines. I was really hoping yours would be worse than that.
I'm not gonna lie.

Speaker 1 I had a lot of practice. I had a lot of practice.
Ah.

Speaker 1 Hey, hey-hoo. Hey, hey-ho! Hey-ho! Hey-ho! Ho-hey! Hey there! Hey! Is he Canadian? Is Kermit Canadian? He can be.
Yeah, he can be.

Speaker 1 Susie works in a shoe shine shop. Where she shines, she sits.
And where she sits, she shines. Oh, man.
I got so caught up on not saying shits that I forgot I was doing a voice.

Speaker 1 No, no, Kerbit's in the room with us. I feel it.
Whoa!

Speaker 1 What's the note? How does he yell?

Speaker 1 Ow! What was that? It's fine. It's just the heavy weight I'm playing with.
Hmm. Okay.

Speaker 1 Susie works in a shoe shine shop. Where she signs, she sits, and where she sits, she shines.

Speaker 1 I thought we did it bad, but

Speaker 1 I think we're doing pretty good.

Speaker 1 Oh, I didn't think it was that bad. Oh, you know what? I shouldn't have tried to do Kermit.
I should do my Patrick Mahomes impression.

Speaker 1 I found that funny. I should know who that is, shouldn't I? Take that, you scumbag.
Is the sport thing? Yeah, he's a quarterback for the Chiefs. I feel like that's a sport thing.
I've never understood

Speaker 1 the beginning of that joke, but it makes me laugh. By the transitive property, I just want to throw this out there because it makes me feel better about football because I'm a Bengals fan.

Speaker 1 By the transitive property, the Chiefs lost to the Dolphins. So that is hilarious.
That's true. The Bills beat the Chiefs, and then this past weekend, the Bills lost to the Dolphins.

Speaker 1 That means that the Chiefs are worse than a team that lost to the Dolphins.

Speaker 1 That's what I'm going to cling to while we wait for Burrow to recover from surgery so we can go four and 11 or however many games it is. Yeah, it's almost about as losing to the Jets.

Speaker 1 So, um, Christopher Walken is doing Fuzzy Wuzzy. Bob, I think you're first, then me, then Mark.
I thought we were done.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, I thought we were doing one more. No, one more round meant we each host one more.
We're doing one more all the way around. Oh, oh, no.
All right. Yeah, no, okay.
Thanks. Mark.
Who? Who? Who?

Speaker 1 Wow. Christopher Walken, right? Okay.
Yep.

Speaker 1 Wow. Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear.

Speaker 1 Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't fuzzy.

Speaker 1 Wuzzy.

Speaker 1 That's not what he sounds like. That's just the voice I ended up doing.

Speaker 1 I just wanted to... I wanted to keep it consistent start to finish was my goal.

Speaker 1 That was good. That was good.
Okay, I gotta not shatner my walking since I walk into my Shatner. Shatner? I barely know her.
Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair.
Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't fuzzy.

Speaker 1 Fuzzy.

Speaker 1 Is Wade going to win this episode? No, no, no. Just wait.
Wait for this. I got this.
I'm getting no points. Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear.
Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't fuzzy.
Fuzzy.

Speaker 1 Let me try again. Let me try again.
No, no, go again.

Speaker 1 I'm laughing because at the end you did the

Speaker 1 De Niro face.

Speaker 1 You did the like squinty, like the.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. And Christopher Watkins never squinted a day in his life.
He's got big eyes. He doesn't squint.
He just has a funny voice. Would that change the voice I do? Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear.

Speaker 1 Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair.

Speaker 1 Is that better? I would say that was a little better. Well, the first part was better.
Then the second part felt a little bit less walking. Then who was it? Sitting.
I don't know. No.
Who was that?

Speaker 1 Christopher De Niro.

Speaker 1 Standing. All right.
Uh, this is this is the last one unless Mark decides he wants another round. Oh, I get to choose.
Why are we leaving this in his hands? Why is that?

Speaker 1 How did that become part of this?

Speaker 1 Elmo does can you can a can.

Speaker 1 Who's first in this one? Is it me? You. Oh, okay.
Okay, Elmo. Oh, no, you've never done Elmo before.
Yeah, we're screwed. Can you can a can? There's a canner, can can a can?

Speaker 1 It's a little sees!

Speaker 1 That's a big word for Elmo. You can go fuck yourself.

Speaker 1 Can you can as a can! Whoops, oh, can you can!

Speaker 1 A can!

Speaker 1 As

Speaker 1 a can!

Speaker 1 Can can a can!

Speaker 1 Honestly, that was that was... It sounds like you're at the bottom of a hole and Elmo's yelling down to you.

Speaker 1 That was really good. It just sounded like Elmo was in trouble.
I could not do more than like a word or two at a time. I don't know why.

Speaker 1 I could not.

Speaker 1 It's like I didn't need that much air, but I felt like I did.

Speaker 1 It's like getting waterboarded, but with air. I think you're chesting, Elmo.
I like top of my roof, the roof of my mouth, Elmo. It's not like you were chesting, Elmo.
I don't know what that means.

Speaker 1 I don't want to chest Elmo. Can,

Speaker 1 Blump, Tom,

Speaker 1 Can, can.

Speaker 1 Where are we birds?

Speaker 1 I just, I like, I don't do great impressions, but I like figuring out how people do them.

Speaker 1 And that's the end of the episode, huh?

Speaker 1 Not so fast.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Your impressions always turned like into someone from Brooklyn. Like you have Brooklyn Elmo.
Look, man.

Speaker 1 I felt really good about that for a half a second, and then it was good. No, it was good, but just like the last one.
You got away from me, you know? The last few words just look like Brooklyn Elmo.

Speaker 1 I don't even think I could do it. I couldn't either, so don't.
If you're waiting for me to do that again. I thought in some corfal? Is that what they say? I mean, yeah, that was good.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Hey, I'm for Brooklyn.

Speaker 1 Okay, maybe not. Maybe I spoke too soon.
Maybe not.

Speaker 1 Oh, let it end.

Speaker 1 Well, are we doing another round, Mark? What do you think? Oh, I don't need to think. I don't want to.
All right. That's too bad.
We had some great impressions left on the list.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yep. I bet.
Let me guess. Was Smeagol on the list? Oh, of course he was.
Sure. Oh, good.
Was he next? Left on the list, I had. I'm just completing the ones we already did.

Speaker 1 We had Dracula, Batman, Smeagel, Goofy, Ryan Styles' version of Carol Channing, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Patrick Starr.

Speaker 1 That's pretty.

Speaker 1 So we had seven we didn't get to. That's not bad.
Let me go through the current points. I gave you guys a wash for walk-in and Elmo.
I couldn't decide.

Speaker 1 There were parts about your Walk-ins and Elmos I liked and didn't like equally, and I didn't give myself any points. So I gave myself no criticisms.

Speaker 1 But so far, for the points, I gave Mark half of a segue point. He got Donald, Scooby, Clown, and Kermit.

Speaker 1 Bob, I gave Mickey, Shatner, Shaggy, and. He made me laugh when he said Mahomes is Kermit.

Speaker 1 Currently, we are at four and a half points, Mark, to four points, Bob. It's only a half-point difference.
It's anybody's ball game. I feel like my Shatner was pretty good, you know?

Speaker 1 Because I I want to reiterate he's just a guy. I can't argue with the logic, but I feel like if your impression needs an explanation, that maybe it could be a better impression.
It's fine. It's fine.

Speaker 1 I don't know why I'm trying to win this. If anyone deserves to win this, it's not me.
None of us deserve to win this.

Speaker 1 I don't know if anyone deserves to win it, but I deserve to not win it, pretty clearly.

Speaker 1 I also don't know how I feel about the fact literally every voice I like, I can do okay at that, was on the list of beginner voices.

Speaker 1 Yay.

Speaker 1 Well, is it wheel time or? Oh, it's wheel time. Yeah, I've got to add something to the list.
We already have best impression in there, I think, if I recall. I think we do.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 I'm trying to think of something creative here. How about like dreaded the turns the most or dreaded their turn?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Least wanted to participate. Yeah, something like that.
Which one of you two least wanted to participate today? It's hard to know. It would be a tough call if it landed today, but

Speaker 1 least wanted to participate. Most dread to participate.
I put most dread to participate because I really like dread as a word. That's fair.
Dread is a good word. Oh,

Speaker 1 all right. First, we got to figure out how many.

Speaker 1 Oh, boy. Let me guess.
Three.

Speaker 1 I'm feeling two.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 wow.

Speaker 1 Mark Stradamus in the house. Next constitution, we add a bonus point for guessing how many.

Speaker 1 Oh, I like that. We should add sports betting as a concept into our Constitution.
Yeah, yeah, we wager our points. We'll hit our parlay.
All right. Everybody ready? Two spins.
Spin number one.

Speaker 1 Only wrong answers. All right, I gotta be honest, I don't remember what this means.
I think this was for someone who literally, if there were any questions, got everything wrong.

Speaker 1 If the questions were impressions, I think I'm a candidate for only wrong answers. I'll leave it up to Wade.
I'm not sure if anything could qualify as question gear.

Speaker 1 I think Mark and I both had our strengths and weaknesses, so I'm not going to say that I'm exclusively.

Speaker 1 I think we re-spinned this because I don't know that you all tried. Like, this isn't exactly like something we all do in the regular.
So, like, I'm not going to be super critical here.

Speaker 1 So I wouldn't say anything was wrong. It's not like I told you to do Elmo when you guys came out and you were like Igor or something.

Speaker 1 well

Speaker 1 even though william shatner might have been had the most harrowing small talk well i talked about warner brothers i had that uber ride that was scary yeah well you went through security i'm moving is moving harrowing oh yeah you were no you were dreading moving they're both pretty harrowing i'm not gonna lie

Speaker 1 actually you you started your small talk off like i hate this and x wife that's true harrowing is defined as acutely distressing Moving is more distressing than going through security, probably.

Speaker 1 Probably. Okay, so yeah, Bob, I'll give you the heroing.
I'll take it. That puts Bob in the lead by half a point.
Good old classic heroin point. But watch this.
Good

Speaker 1 golf rules.

Speaker 1 That's gonna be really... I should stop doing it.

Speaker 1 You?

Speaker 1 Get out of here. No, that's spinning.
Point for listeners. Get out of here.
Listeners, get a point. You're not invited.
Congratulations, Congratulations, Bob. That makes you the winner.

Speaker 1 There are so many options on this wheel. How many times has it landed points for listeners? You want to see? Oh, quite a few.
Oh, you actually have the stats?

Speaker 1 Well, so if I do another spin, when you do the spin, when it finishes, there's an option to look at stats here. A few stats.
Oh, my God. Yeah.
Most locked in seven times.

Speaker 1 Point for listener, seven times. Best looking, seven times.
Most self-sabotage, six times. I can't believe shirt closes the backgrounds five times.
We've done that a lot. Sudden death is five times.

Speaker 1 Why does that keep coming up? Baldest is three times. Easy.
Yeah, go to the bottom. I want to see the bottom.
I wish we could see the zeros. Well, I guess this doesn't.
It doesn't say zeros. Okay.

Speaker 1 Well, that's not very fun. There's got to be some that have never rolled that have been on there since the beginning.
Definitely. Wait, how many points go to viewers? Oh, they're that five.

Speaker 1 Okay, seven and five for those two. That's ridiculous.
That's ridiculous. But in this episode, it's fair.
It makes sense to me. Does it? Does it? Doesn't have to be.
Was it?

Speaker 1 Unless someone declares it's not. I think it is.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to do it. So that's the game.
Congratulations, Bob, for winning. Bob, give us your winner speech.
I don't feel like I won.

Speaker 1 I think the original score will tell you that I, in fact, did not win. But the wheel is part of what we do here.
and I guess I deserve this.

Speaker 1 I will host a very, very good episode that will not be themed after the listeners, so everyone can look forward to that and not having to hear us do any more impressions, at least for one more episode.

Speaker 1 Well said, Mark, loser speech, still too late. Yeah, the winner's speech was given.
I think that's the rule, isn't it? I'll allow it. Bob, keep talking.
Oh, yeah, I wasn't done, by the way.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 also,

Speaker 1 I I just want to say that. Unfair.
Does it count?

Speaker 1 Bob said he'd allow it, and I just frankly don't give a shit. So, sure.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 I think.

Speaker 1 What do I think? What's unfair? Bob's winner speech? What is unfair?

Speaker 1 I'm trying to really scrape the bottom of the rule barrel here for a way to eke out a win.

Speaker 1 Oh, you think the final score is unfair? Yeah, you can challenge the final score. That's allowed.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think because Bob is running the wheel that he's biasing it for himself. Probably.
Probably. Okay.
So you're saying specifically the wheel spins were unfair. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 And the wheel spins went to Bob and listeners. So if you win, the points go to you and viewers.
Yeah, that seems only fair. Okay.
All right. So three heads means Mark is correct and wins.

Speaker 1 Three tails, it's doubly fair. Otherwise, it stays the same.
Okay. All right.

Speaker 1 That's fucking tails. Heads.
Tails.

Speaker 1 Heads.

Speaker 1 All right. So it was fair.
I tried. And Bob, coincidentally, great winner speech.
And now I'm done with my winner speech. Thank you.

Speaker 1 Wow. Well, time.
What a speech. Mark, loser speech.
Oh, hey, man. What's up?

Speaker 1 I wish my

Speaker 1 small talk had been more harrowing. I wish that the listeners

Speaker 1 lose their ears. I wish that the viewers gain extra eyes.

Speaker 1 And,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 as a loser, I don't think I'm going to get any of those wishes. Because if I lose, I don't get what I want.
Do I get wishes? Did I miss on witches? Ah, your speech is over.

Speaker 1 Wish wishes? You get witches. Yeah, sorry.
You missed out. I guess you'll have to win again later.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but thank you for allowing me to participate so that I could lose. I guess.

Speaker 1 I'm done with my loser speech now.

Speaker 1 On behalf of the listeners, the real winners from last episode, wow, what a great episode. Great effort, everyone.
You guys can find these great impressionists online.

Speaker 1 Mark at Markiplier, Bob at MySkirn. I'm also on there as Minion 777 or Lord Minion 777.

Speaker 1 Stay tuned for the next one, where Bob will host, and it'll probably be another very quick episode like this one.

Speaker 1 Until then, podcast out.

Speaker 1 Watch new episodes on Spotify.