Jimmy John's 3 Zach Cherry

Speaker 1 This is a head gum podcast.

Speaker 2 Want to watch this episode? Check it out on our YouTube channel by going to youtube.com/slash Doughboys Media.

Speaker 2 Your favorite neighborhood spots run on Square. You know,

Speaker 2 there's a great pho place by us, and they use Square. Love to hop in there, get myself some pho.

Speaker 2 Nice bowl of pho ga, perhaps. Maybe some pho bovine.

Speaker 2 Maybe I'll get myself a spring roll as well, a little treat. Maybe I'll get us dinner.
I'm using Square to pay,

Speaker 2 and I'm glad that it's able to let this business, this local business, this beloved institution, providing nourishing food to the neighborhood to thrive.

Speaker 2 These businesses define the neighborhood and feel like home. When they thrive, the entire community benefits.
Supporting local businesses means money stays local.

Speaker 2 Use this ad to visit your favorite spot and enjoy the neighborhood. Square partners with over 4 million local businesses worldwide.
You can go to square.com/slash go/slash doughboys to learn more.

Speaker 2 But before you do, go support your favorite neighborhood spot. You'll be happy you did.
Square, see you in the neighborhood.

Speaker 3 Extra value meals are back. For just $5, get a savory and sweet sausage, egg, and cheese McGrittles, plus hash browns and a coffee.

Speaker 2 Only at McDonald's. For limited time only, prices and participation may vary.
Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California and for delivery.

Speaker 2 According to the USDA, which as of this recording has not been permanently shuttered, Americans consume on average nine pounds of pickles per year.

Speaker 2 And the biggest pickle purveyor in this brined cucumber crazed country is a century-old Michigan brand founded by a Croatian-American immigrant named Frank Vlasic.

Speaker 2 While Vlasic the Company was originally built around milk and cheese, Frank's son Joe eventually realized its bread and butter was bread and butter, pickles, that is, along with other varietals.

Speaker 2 Over time, pickles completely took over Vlasic's corporate identity, and eventually, Joe, along with his son Bob, ditched the dairy entirely, its cleaner.

Speaker 2 And in 1974, looking for brand iconography for the now pickle-exclusive business, the Vlasic heirs settled on a stork, the connection being pregnant women's common craving for the snack.

Speaker 2 With an identity-inspired slash ripped off of Groucho Marks to a seemingly legally actionable degree, the Vlasic stork marketing campaigns took the company to new heights, and today the unnamed bird bird endures as one of food's most identifiable mascots.

Speaker 2 In October of this year, a different eponymous food business, a sandwich chain famed for its freaky fast subs, capitalized on American pickle fandom by resuscitating its pickle-based menu, featuring pickle bun sandos and pickle chips.

Speaker 2 Of course, stork is the kind of animal its founder, Jimmy John, would have gunned down for sport.

Speaker 2 But hey, considering you can't even watch pro sports these days without enriching asshole billionaires, totalitarian petro states, and predatory gambling services, who cares if you got to toss a big game hunter who's a major GOP donor some coin to eat a sandwich with pickle buns?

Speaker 2 It's all owned by private equity anyway. This week on Doughboys, we return to Jimmy John's for the Pickle Witch.

Speaker 2 Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Tiger Weiger, along with my co-host, ASMR Bees.

Speaker 2 Okay. The Spoon Man Mike Mitchell.
All right.

Speaker 2 I like it. Sorry, Mitch.
Has this been done? Thought of this during the recent Panera 4 episode when everyone started talking about ASMR. Love you, boys.
Dave Nesty from Quincy. Oh, yeah, I know Dave.

Speaker 2 Dave on the Dough Score. Roastedbirdfuck.com.
How about that?

Speaker 2 Rest in peace, the RB sign. Gone.
Yeah, the RB sign in Hollywood taken down, unfortunately. First off,

Speaker 2 the husk of the old Hollywood Arby's was standing for a bit with its famous signage, and now the signage is gone, too. I have yet to try the Arby steak nugs.
I want to try it.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, I know, but now it's going to be hard to do.

Speaker 2 The closest location is in Inglewood, which

Speaker 2 it's not totally out of the way, but it's certainly not as convenient for our purposes as the Hollywood location, which was very clutch. I love that Hollywood Arby's.

Speaker 2 Yeah, look, we have a great guest today. We do have a great guest today.
I'm very excited to talk with them. We also have a new interface.
Yeah, Mitch, we should talk about this new interface.

Speaker 2 Now, if you're listening to us and saying the dope boys sound a little bit different than normal, they sound a little cleaner, a little bit higher fidelity, it's because we have a new interface here in the studio.

Speaker 2 Emma, what's going on with this new interface?

Speaker 1 It's the exact same interface, but it's the old one from the New York studio.

Speaker 2 Got it, the New York studio, which was closed permanently. Yes, that's right.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the LA interface was busted, so they brought us a less busted one.

Speaker 2 Wow, but it's the exact same model. Exact same thing.
But it's new. Yeah.
It's new. New to us, yeah.
And I think my voice sounds a little bit better on this.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I kind of like how I sound with this new interface. Actually, I think this, now it actually picks up my real voice.
I think I sound like that.

Speaker 2 They can finally sound like me here in this new interface. Now, if we only upgrade the cameras, you can see what we really look like as well.

Speaker 2 The camera upgrade would be great. Can we upgrade the visual interface?

Speaker 2 All right, it's off to a good start. It's off to a great start.
Oh, it's off to a, yeah, sorry.

Speaker 2 You did this for a full year. You talked in a fake voice.
I did talk in a fake voice for a full year in eighth grade. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Very committed, bitch.

Speaker 2 Look, but it wasn't this voice. This is my real voice.

Speaker 2 People could say, if anything, they're saying, I've been talking to fake voice here on No Boys for the past 10 years. Yeah,

Speaker 2 you did it for me. My real voice is finally coming through.

Speaker 2 I don't like it. I don't like it.
You don't like my voice.

Speaker 2 Well, don't blame me. Blame the interface.

Speaker 2 I like fake voice Wager better than I like real voice Wager.

Speaker 2 I don't like you.

Speaker 2 I don't like this new thing.

Speaker 2 Wages? Yeah.

Speaker 2 I don't know. I forgot.
I got something. I got something.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Mitch, we've reviewed the Hillstone family of restaurants. It's been a while since we've gone to a Hillstone.

Speaker 2 I went to a Hillstone family restaurant today. I went up to Honor Bar for lunch.
In Beverly Hills? In Beverly Hills. You had a little power lunch.
How about that? Isn't that exciting?

Speaker 2 It's very exciting. Yeah.
It was, and I had myself the picnic tuna sandwich. Oh, delightful.
Ooh, you got double tuna today. I got double tuna today.
We'll talk about it.

Speaker 2 But there, but there, it's just

Speaker 2 picnic. My name is Nick.

Speaker 2 Picnic. So, Nick picked the picnic.

Speaker 2 How about that? I love that. How about that? We don't know who our guest is yet.
It hasn't been revealed. I think people who've that maybe clicked on the episode,

Speaker 2 you know, like have seen it in there. Maybe the feed, maybe if they just started auto-playing from whatever the last thing you were listening, maybe you don't know who the guest is yet.

Speaker 2 But if you look at the description at all, you know who our guest is.

Speaker 2 Should I hit him with the drop so that we can get to our guest? Or do we want to talk about more stuff? Didn't you have something, or was it involving our guest?

Speaker 2 Well, you were washing the knife in the sink, and I said that you and Michael Myers were having the same sort of day because it's the day after, you know, it's the weekend after Halloween, so you're both washing off your knives.

Speaker 2 That was my big thing. This episode's coming out a week later, but as of the recording,

Speaker 2 this is the day. If you were here for it, it was really good.

Speaker 2 And it was a big, we should say it was a big chef's knife, like the kind of thing that the kind of would be a murderous implement in some context. Hello, is that children?

Speaker 2 Chef,

Speaker 2 Much like Chef from South Park.

Speaker 2 That's the kind of thing he would use when he was in the school cafeteria. Yes, yeah.
For his job as a chef. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes.

Speaker 2 Isaac Hayes, R.I.P.

Speaker 2 People, people always, I mean, yes, rest in peace to Isaac Hayes. Yeah.
A sad ending on that show for him.

Speaker 2 By the way, on our last episode,

Speaker 2 I talked about Casabonita. We did not know that Casabonita went on strike, just so you know.
Well, it had not yet gone on strike. It had not yet gone on strike.

Speaker 2 And I didn't go when they were on strike, just so everyone knows. Yes, yeah.
And Weiss, congratulations. Let's just see if we how long we can keep our guest in this fashion.

Speaker 2 Congrats to the Dodgers. Congratulations.
This is episode is going to come out about a week later. But the Dodgers parade was today.
Very, very excited. You know, just like a,

Speaker 2 what a, what a crushing loss for the Toronto Blue Jesus. I got to say that.

Speaker 2 I genuinely felt bad for

Speaker 2 in your home, in your home field. I mean, losing game seven and losing that way in extra innings, it's got to be tough.
But I watched the whole game. That was thrilling.

Speaker 2 That was some thrilling baseball. I hope Johe bet on the Dodgers.

Speaker 2 How dare you?

Speaker 2 I hope he did too, but how dare you? John C. Phillips should have gotten himself a translator.
We talked about this.

Speaker 2 Amelia, you're wearing the Brooklyn Dodgers hat. Yes.
You're a convert. You used to to be a Yankee fan.

Speaker 1 I used to be a Yankees fan. I love the Dodgers, baby.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God. You so.

Speaker 2 Welcome aboard the bandwagon. I mean, you know what? I like it.
I'm happy that a Yankees fan is abandoned. They're bad fans.

Speaker 2 They faced the Yankees as recently as last year in the World Series.

Speaker 2 Were you split at all?

Speaker 2 A little bit.

Speaker 1 I didn't go to the World Series game, but I went to a different Yankees versus Dodgers game earlier this year. Right.
And I was supporting my boys in blue.

Speaker 2 Wow, wow. Wow.

Speaker 1 And that game the other day, it was it was electric. It was the most exciting game I've ever seen.
The final game. Yeah, game seven.

Speaker 2 It really is. Like, I, you know, and I'm not a, I'm, I'm a sporto, but I'm not a big baseball guy, but I'll check in with the playoffs, and I certainly am always rooting for our boys in blue.

Speaker 2 Boys in blue. Uh, as a, you know, police, right? The police, yeah.

Speaker 2 I did see, I was drive, like, I was driving over here, and I was behind someone with in their rear window, they had a, uh, like a minions plushie, and then by their license plate, they had a Blue Lives Matter sticker.

Speaker 2 What's going on with that guy? You should fucking buy that car.

Speaker 2 Perfect.

Speaker 4 Rear window is my favorite Hitchcock film.

Speaker 2 Interesting.

Speaker 2 I feel like an obvious. Mystery Guest is now coming to life, hint by hint.

Speaker 2 I feel like kind of an obvious pick, but I do really like Vertigo, but I also really like North by Northwest.

Speaker 2 Mitch, you got a favorite Hitchcock?

Speaker 2 uh

Speaker 2 northwest the son of uh the son of kanye west yes yeah yeah yeah just just letting you know yeah i don't think they know if the name is inspired by the film i don't think so you still listening i'm still listening yeah i'm still listening we're still we're still listening we're still listening we're still listening to what doughboys or

Speaker 2 multiple things

Speaker 2 uh

Speaker 2 You know, I was trying to think of, you know, what's the equivalent? Like, like when someone has the barrel of a gun in their mouth? what on earth?

Speaker 2 No, it's that the equivalent to it for a knife. You can't hold the knife in your mouth, you know, a knife against your own throat, maybe

Speaker 2 against your own wrists,

Speaker 2 that's but yeah, you wouldn't put it down your own throat. That would be, I mean, that would be actually terrifying because it would seem insane.
It would seem insane.

Speaker 2 Like, are you doing a sword swallowing

Speaker 2 cuts your own throat out with the blade of a knife? I always make a joke about like someone just having a barrel of a gun in their mouth.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I was trying to think of the equivalent for a knife, but I don't know why I put thought in the mouth. You can put it to your throat or your wrists, I guess.

Speaker 2 That's where it goes. Yeah, I think that would be the move.

Speaker 4 Oral fixation. You have an oral fixation, is why

Speaker 4 you were obsessed with it being in the mouth.

Speaker 2 I don't know why I was thinking. I think I saw you washing off the knife, and I just started to think about that.

Speaker 2 Did I anticipate his next move? Yeah, Howard Weiger off himself. No,

Speaker 2 That's not that is not. When he likes the taste of cold steel in his mouth,

Speaker 2 don't hold who do an edged weapon. Don't, you'd not be.
I'm not gonna, Mitch, I'm not gonna do that.

Speaker 2 I mean, don't put the knife, don't put the knife. I won't be doing that.
I'm not gonna put a knife in my mouth. I know you got one.
You got that, the oral fixation, too.

Speaker 2 I don't want you to do anything like that.

Speaker 2 Sword swallowers are impressive, though, right? They are impressive.

Speaker 2 How do people do that? Yeah, that is very impressive. Dude, I would love to date a sword sword swallower can you imagine oh my god every guy's fantasy

Speaker 2 i wonder if i swallowed a sword and i pulled it out with like would it be embarrassing like would a donut come out on it or something

Speaker 2 or like a chicken wing you know yeah yeah yeah would something embarrassing come up it would look like a shish kebab yeah there's a bunch of loose food yeah That wouldn't be fun.

Speaker 2 No, that would be a little pretty embarrassing. But that would be quite a party trick.
Imagine if we did that at the circus. A sword swallower bringing stuff up is, that is fun.

Speaker 2 Has that been done before? Have we seen the sword swallower bring stuff up? Maybe that's a new dimension you could add.

Speaker 2 That is a new because I do think that sword swallowing has gotten slightly stale. Yeah, it's kind of the one thing.
Bust that out on America's Got Talent. Someone

Speaker 2 do a sword swallowing bit while you bring stuff up. Absolutely riveting.
That's Simon Cowell.

Speaker 2 Imagine if you brought up like three apples and then you whipped them out and you started juggling them. That's fucking good.
Pretty cool. Then you swallowed them again.

Speaker 2 That's that's that's fucking good. That's good.
It's pretty good.

Speaker 2 That's pretty good. I give you an eight.
No figgy pudding.

Speaker 2 That's Simon Cowell being upset that.

Speaker 2 An eight?

Speaker 2 What happens on that show? Never watched the show.

Speaker 2 But he's mad. He's mad that there's no English food on the sword.
He wanted like some, yeah, yeah, right. Beef Wellington, maybe we'll have a little bit of a dude.

Speaker 2 He wanted like some spotted dick on the end of it or something. That's good.
A funnier word, too. It is a funny word.
Emma, let's hit him with a let's hit him with the

Speaker 2 drop, please. Fucking idiots.
Do you not understand the concept of this? It's fucking new. I can't.
It's new fucking shit.

Speaker 2 You love this fucking word.

Speaker 2 They make that assumption without no fucking idea.

Speaker 2 What the fuck?

Speaker 2 Fucking dip shit. Fucking what the stupid is your problem.

Speaker 2 We love you. We

Speaker 2 Wow. I don't know, seasonal.
Hi, Drop King, Nick, Mitch, Emma, Casey, Amelia, Usong, Jemmy. You want to take that again?

Speaker 2 There's an extra name in there.

Speaker 2 Did I fuck up? No, I just did. You said Casey, and Casey is.

Speaker 2 Yeah, unfortunately. Not at home.
Hi, Drop King, Nick, Mitch, Emma, Amelia. Usong, Jemmy.

Speaker 1 What? You said my name different.

Speaker 2 Because it was sad because I dropped Casey from it. Okay.
We miss you, Casey. We miss you, Casey.

Speaker 2 I had this old song I made that I didn't know what to do with until I heard you two yelling at me. I think I can speak for most Doughboys fans when I say that we like being yelled at.
Keep it up. Wow.

Speaker 2 Jonathan Bronson gave his whole name, Norwood Mass. Thanks, thanks, Jonathan Bronson.
Yeah. Thank you.
That was a cool drop. That was a cool drop.

Speaker 2 A really cool drop, really well assembled and also sounded great coming out of that new interface. Yeah, the new interface makes it sound pretty fantastic.

Speaker 2 I can't wait to hear more drops coming out of the new interface.

Speaker 2 God.

Speaker 1 Can you say giggity?

Speaker 2 Giggity.

Speaker 2 Giggity, giggity, giggity.

Speaker 2 I mean,

Speaker 2 our guest has been in the mass for almost 20 minutes now.

Speaker 2 It still wasn't that long. Not almost.
You're really rounding up. 17?

Speaker 2 Can you, it's 12. I see 12 minutes on the clock.
He had it on for about five minutes before we started.

Speaker 2 You're tacking on the pre-show.

Speaker 2 No, you're saying no.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 I also don't know if our guest wanted mask to be uttered or have that be a surprise. He's had his.

Speaker 2 What do you want me to say?

Speaker 2 He's had his face on.

Speaker 2 Our guest

Speaker 2 has a case of too much Mitch. I told him this when I picked him up today.
He's seen a lot of Mitch the last 24 hours.

Speaker 2 The last 48 hours. Yeah.
We've all had a case of too much Mitch for a while.

Speaker 2 I get it. It happens.

Speaker 2 But a good guest. I mean, we weren't in Jerusalem just yet.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Why?

Speaker 2 We just, I don't know. We're just vibing.
Our today's guest was here for our first record in 2025. How crazy is that?

Speaker 2 Now, not the first episode released in calendar year 2025, but the first time we recorded in 2025 back in January when the fires were blazing across LA.

Speaker 2 When

Speaker 2 the whole character character of the city was changing and

Speaker 2 one crazy conflagration,

Speaker 2 the total tragic event, a lot of people lost their homes.

Speaker 2 But one brave man

Speaker 2 stood up to the fire. That's right.
The owner of the Americana.

Speaker 2 What the fuck's his name? Rick Caruso with

Speaker 2 a fleet of private firefighters protecting his retail properties. God bless him.
I got to vote tomorrow. I forgot.
I got to vote. You better have voted by the time this episode comes out.
I know.

Speaker 2 I got to vote tomorrow

Speaker 2 just fill out your you have your ballot right everyone's vote by you should have firm vote you should be able to fill it out and just drop it block the vote by tomorrow I promise you that I will I'll do that I trust you buddy

Speaker 2 Wags my nose burnt really bad I had I I've had a what happened

Speaker 2 well it looks better now right yeah I don't even want to show how nasty it was, but I was shooting something and they put makeup on my nose and I had some weird chemical reaction.

Speaker 2 I had to go to the emergency dermatologist. You had a skin reaction from some makeup for, like, was this some prosthetic thing?

Speaker 2 Can you talk about what it was at all? Or was it just some? No, it was just makeup. I had a weird allergic reaction.
I have. Wow.
I do have

Speaker 2 Rosacea? Yes. I almost said chlamydia.

Speaker 2 A little different.

Speaker 2 All kind of red, right? Yeah. It's all kind of red.

Speaker 2 Guest really sold his reaction to that

Speaker 2 visually.

Speaker 2 Chlamydia.

Speaker 4 You've been hanging out with koalas?

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 2 There was a koalas in Australia that had chlamydia. Is it chlamydia or syphilis? I can't remember what disease, what sexually transmitted disease they had.

Speaker 2 It was chlamydia. Was it chlamydia?

Speaker 4 Which one did you get from them?

Speaker 2 Koala chlamydia. I didn't get any.

Speaker 2 I haven't done anything with a koala. Or koalik.
I'm going to put it both out there. Koalas and koaliks.
I don't fuck with them that way.

Speaker 2 You take a big pill for Chlamydia. It's no big deal anymore.
Wait, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just take one big pill and you're done? Yes.
Wow. There you go.
Do you want to know how I know this?

Speaker 2 You know what? I can infer how you know this.

Speaker 2 The koalas told you.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I've taken the pill before. Wow.
What do you want from me? We're all sexual beings.

Speaker 2 Speak for yourself.

Speaker 2 It was, okay, it was, I, I, I had been with someone. Okay.
And they were like, hey, can you come by my house? And I was like, sure. And we had been together for the first time the night before.
Okay.

Speaker 2 And I went, and I, in my head, I was like, oh no, I'm so bad at fucking. Yes, right.
She's going to like chastise. She's going to like yell at me.
She's going to give you some notes.

Speaker 2 She's going to give me some notes. And I went down there and she was like, So you climbed up the eucalyptus tree.

Speaker 2 i went down there and i was like hey what's up and we sat down and she was like you know that we were together last night i just want to let you know the results came back today i have chlamydia you need to take this pill so wow

Speaker 2 she had the pill locked and loaded for me i took the pill and uh and uh we practiced safe sex as well so that was uh

Speaker 2 should i not have told this story mitch i just i just can finally say something that I've known all along.

Speaker 2 I was involved with this. That was all a ruse.
She gave you a limitless pill

Speaker 2 so you could finally reach your potential.

Speaker 2 Well, I don't know if we're in a flowers for algeron situation because I think it's going backwards, my man.

Speaker 2 I can't remember shit anymore.

Speaker 2 It seems like the best, the most mature way to handle that. It was, I thought it was a great thing to do.
I was so happy that she told me and gave it to me. I think that that was a very,

Speaker 2 I think it was a situation that worked out great. Exactly.
And I'm not saying any names, that nothing is happening here.

Speaker 2 It's all good. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And now, you know, if you ever get chlamydia again, you know, just one pill. You're set.

Speaker 2 I just hopefully listeners don't find out the one person I've ever slept with in my life.

Speaker 2 He should be okay.

Speaker 2 But yes, I took a big old chlamydia pill at one point. Wow.

Speaker 2 It's a big honker. It's like a horse pill.
And then I took her out for a eucalyptus leaf dinner afterwards. Is that better? Yeah, that's really good.

Speaker 2 Our guest, return to the podcast. Why did I tell the story?

Speaker 2 You can cut it out. You want to cut it out? I don't know.

Speaker 2 Should I? I have no idea. It was bad.

Speaker 1 I think

Speaker 1 destigmatizing, de-stigmatizing SCDs is always a good thing. Yeah.

Speaker 2 You take a pill. Who gives a shit? Yeah.
They're no big deal. I fucked.
Deal with it.

Speaker 2 I fucked, listeners. I fucked one at least a few times.

Speaker 2 I'm happy for you, buddy. Thank you.
Our guest, returning to the podcast from Fallout and Severance, Zach Cherry is here. Hi, Zach.
Looks like meat's back on the menu, boys.

Speaker 2 So the mask has now come off

Speaker 2 after that spirited delivery. So that was all in service of this line as an Urakai.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Got it. So I'm eating meat again.
again, and of course, the most natural way to approach that is to come on Doughboys and announce it by being in an

Speaker 4 ad hoc Urakai mask. Yes.
In celebration of one of my favorite film franchises, The Lord of the Rings.

Speaker 2 I think everyone knew when they saw this that this was an Orakai mask.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it looks like a wolf mask with some Shrek ears grafted onto it, but it does very much read as an Urakai from Lord of the Rings. Well, I don't know if you know this-wise, but that is what

Speaker 2 Peter Jackson did. Oh, Oh, that's what so like they used

Speaker 4 perspective,

Speaker 4 they used forced perspective to make this look like what you saw on the camera.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know if you knew that or no, I never watched like the BTS on the DVD.

Speaker 4 Well, you know, Elijah Wood is actually a normal guy's height, yes, right. Yeah, and so when you put him next to this, this looks like an or a high mask, movie magic.

Speaker 2 It's wild how that works, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Well, it was, it's, it's a very convincing effect.

Speaker 4 I, yep, I won this a charity auction.

Speaker 2 Wow. And also,

Speaker 2 you did successfully have it on for about 20 minutes. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 I did. Just before I said that, I realized I had been in there long enough that I forgot what I was going to say.

Speaker 4 And I'm not sure that that is the line, but you can find it on.

Speaker 2 Looks like Meets Back. I think that looks like Meets Back on the menu.

Speaker 4 So

Speaker 2 can you do Force Perspective? Mike,

Speaker 2 our video editor, can you do Force Perspective? So I'm really big and these guys guys look small next to me. Yeah.
Can you do that? Yeah, that should be easy, right? Yeah, that's a requirement.

Speaker 2 You know, he's just one slider.

Speaker 4 I think they installed that into my eye.

Speaker 4 Because to me,

Speaker 2 it just looks like that.

Speaker 4 So someone was able to do that. I don't know.

Speaker 2 It's like an in-cam in-blens. It's weird.
I'm kind of having the same effect. You're right.
Yeah. No, it's weird.
A lot of people,

Speaker 2 a lot of people, when they think of me, they're like,

Speaker 2 do I have forced perspective vision suddenly? And I was like, no, no, you know, a lot of people, I mean, maybe they do. I can't tell.
I have no idea, but I am just a big guy.

Speaker 2 So I don't, you know, I'm not, I'm not positive if it's, you know,

Speaker 2 you know, what's come first. And they see your hog is like, I don't know what to believe.

Speaker 2 Forced perspective got me all screwed up.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's hard to make it go both ways like that.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 You're eating meat again. I'm eating meat again.

Speaker 2 I need to hold something small next to my hog next time you guys look at it. I'm trying to think of what would be good for.

Speaker 2 Get like a golf pencil and say it's a regular size pencil.

Speaker 4 You need something small to hold?

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 Well, I guess you can't use your hog.

Speaker 2 Yeah, can you take a dick pic and then hold that up next to your actual hog?

Speaker 2 Hey, look at that small dick next to his regular size.

Speaker 2 What did you do?

Speaker 4 You get a tic-tac and you say it's a chlamydia pill.

Speaker 2 Because it's a big old pill, right? It is a big old pill.

Speaker 4 So a little tic-tac, you say that's a big old pill. Or wait, does that mean? Wait.

Speaker 2 Yeah, no, yeah, that would work. That would work.
That little tic-tac.

Speaker 2 It was a big blue pill. Wow.
Look, I also got chronic athlete's foot. I got a

Speaker 2 same koala? No, no, no. I got nothing.

Speaker 2 I got my nose turned very red. I have rosacea on my nose.
It's a bummer.

Speaker 2 I got all the bad Irish shit. I got rosacea on my nose.
My mom is very nervous. She's like, your nose is gonna, you're gonna have one of those big Irish noses.

Speaker 2 Oh, she's she always says to me, because like, I don't know if you've seen stuff with Rosatia, they turn into like your nose can turn into like a big rosacea-y nose. Have you seen this before?

Speaker 2 I have seen this, but doesn't this also come from heavy drinking? Or is that actually? It does come from heavy drinking, which I don't do too much.

Speaker 4 No, does it come maybe from eating processed foods?

Speaker 2 I mean, yes,

Speaker 2 I mean, there is also that issue. I mean, like, I don't drink constantly, but I did drink.
I drank with you last night. How fun is that?

Speaker 4 We had a drinking? We had a good old time.

Speaker 2 What do you mean? How fun is what? Drinking? Just hanging out with your pals in town. It was good.

Speaker 4 Heineken Zero for me, of course.

Speaker 2 Yes, you did two Heine Zeros. I did two sides.

Speaker 2 I love that Heineken Zero. Terry Hatcher was next to us.
Wow. How exciting.

Speaker 2 This was, you did ASCAT at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, and Terry Hatcher was the monologist, and you did improv off. Look, I'll just get into it.

Speaker 2 She was talking about how she's been single for a really long time, and some people said that I maybe should have shot my shot.

Speaker 4 I do.

Speaker 4 have.

Speaker 2 I did not shoot my shot.

Speaker 2 Should have had a TikTok or Tic Tac already.

Speaker 2 I was catching

Speaker 2 when I shoot my shot, I have to show off my hog to her?

Speaker 2 No, I'm not going to do anything like that. Just prepare.
Just to prepare. Yeah.

Speaker 4 To say, like, just so you know what you're getting into.

Speaker 2 I didn't have any Tic Tacs already. I did.

Speaker 2 She was very funny and nice. She was excellent.

Speaker 4 Yeah, she was great.

Speaker 2 She's a pro. Yeah.
Yeah. She did a great job.

Speaker 4 Wow. Super funny.

Speaker 2 Talking about, yeah, she was talking about being single and not, you know, not a... Mitch said, I can relate.
Yes, yes. And she said, and not about not, also not getting it on.
Yeah, sure.

Speaker 2 You know, also

Speaker 4 signed me up twice.

Speaker 2 What was the impetus for reintegrating meat into your diet?

Speaker 4 It was primarily protein focused. And I was traveling a little more.
It's very easy to get plant-based protein when you're like like at your home like in New York City or in L.A.

Speaker 4 I was kind of in smaller towns and, you know, I was like wanting to have protein. And so I ate a chicken.
I ate chicken and it was good.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 4 And you know, actually, if you recall, part of my wife's lore is that when you ate chicken for the first time after a year, you said, you were like, oh my God, this is so fucking good.

Speaker 4 And she said, shut the fuck up, Wagger.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Because her meds were not dialed in. When I ate chicken for the first time after five years, my thoughts were,

Speaker 2 this is okay.

Speaker 2 Wow. Yeah.
What kind of chicken did you see that? I mean, five years off seems like it would be very, like, would it be gamey or was it like.

Speaker 4 No, it tasted exactly like I remembered.

Speaker 4 I had

Speaker 2 souvlaki. Oh, okay.
Yeah. Just like a pretty simple

Speaker 4 reintegration into the meat world.

Speaker 2 That feels good. And so have you been eating like

Speaker 2 poultry, red meat, fish? Like, what have you, What proteins have you had?

Speaker 4 For about a week, I was like, I'll have this every other day and only chicken. And then after about two weeks, I said, safety's off.
Let's have some brisket.

Speaker 4 So now I'm just, I'm eating everything.

Speaker 2 How was that brisket hitting?

Speaker 4 Brisket, I love. Hot dogs really were the thing I missed the most.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 4 When I had a hot dog again for the first time, I was like, this is really it.

Speaker 2 I went to Costco because I get the executive membership, so you can get an hour early. So I went there.
It was still a fucking zoo. I was like, why did I think this was going to be any better?

Speaker 2 It was still like insane.

Speaker 4 I like that every business now, if you pay a little more money, you get to like treat it as a normal human would be.

Speaker 4 You have to pay to just like get in the store.

Speaker 2 So that's like front of the line passes at like Halloween horror nights, which has just ended. It's everything.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Everything is an upgrade for what used to be a default level of service. Anyway, I got in there.
Costco's been doing this for a long time. And I got in there early.
And

Speaker 2 so I was there i was shopping there like 9 a.m and then i got like i was done shopping at like 10

Speaker 2 and the food court was open i had a fucking 10 a.m hot dog let me tell you it was hitting i support that and sometimes they have 10 a.m hot dog yeah well because they got those i mean i was up early anyway and and i already gotten a run-in but they had like a

Speaker 2 They had the they have the the onions, which they used to have the the the chopped onions at the at a dispenser and then post-COVID they've gotten rid of that, but they have them behind the counter if you ask sometimes.

Speaker 2 And so they did have a little cup of onions that I added. So I had some yellow mustard, some relish, some onions.
It was great. What was your first hot dog? Do you remember?

Speaker 4 Yellow mustard at 10 a.m. I don't support as much.
Wow. Hot dog at 10 a.m.
Perfectly normal to me.

Speaker 2 The yellow mustard's throwing you off.

Speaker 4 It makes it feel not morning to me.

Speaker 2 Interesting.

Speaker 2 How would you?

Speaker 2 I get what you're saying.

Speaker 4 I would go ketchup.

Speaker 2 Just ketchup. Just ketchup.
Interesting. Morning.
Ketchup is more of a. I will say ketchup is more of a morning concept.
Yeah, I mean, I'll have ketchup with like hash rounds or eggs. Yeah, sure.

Speaker 2 I I think that's reasonable. I just, I don't think of mustard as anchored to any particular time of day.

Speaker 4 It's afternoon food for

Speaker 4 picnic. You don't picnic at 9 a.m.

Speaker 2 Deus, we got to do it.

Speaker 2 What times can you have mustard?

Speaker 1 I think any time, because if you have corned beef and cabbage, you can have mustard with that.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Do you have that for breakfast? Do you have that for breakfast? What the fuck are you talking about?

Speaker 2 There you go.

Speaker 1 I think I would probably, because I'll put mustard on an egg sandwich or ketchup on an egg sandwich or on eggs sometimes, but I don't think I put mustard on it.

Speaker 1 So I feel like I'd have ketchup earlier in the day than I would mustard. Wow.

Speaker 2 Ketchup is more of the morning condiment, I think.

Speaker 1 Ketchup does not go with eggs.

Speaker 2 Oh, god damn it.

Speaker 1 I understand that take. I felt that way.

Speaker 4 But on a sandwich, it can.

Speaker 2 Or no?

Speaker 2 I scrambled eggs with ketchup forever.

Speaker 1 But I also put ketchup on home fries.

Speaker 1 Potatoes, breakfast potatoes. Yeah, breakfast potatoes.

Speaker 2 That's a good thing.

Speaker 1 Tabasco. Tabasco.

Speaker 1 I also do love.

Speaker 4 But if you had like a bacon, egg, and cheese cheese sandwich, you're just eating that thing dry.

Speaker 2 Oh, hot sauce. Okay.
I'm going to end this.

Speaker 2 This is nonsense. Why are we all looking to Amelia for this? This is insane.
I'm just inquiring. She's the one who's not right.
Yeah, she's very wrong. No.

Speaker 2 On a breakfast table, there is hot sauce and there is ketchup and maple syrup. Those are the condiments of the city.

Speaker 4 I don't go to Amelia for correct opinions. I'm doing an anthropological study, sort of.
I just want to collect data to see what she's up to.

Speaker 2 We don't need to hear what she's up to. It's insane.

Speaker 4 I'm triangulating, and eventually I'm going to crack this.

Speaker 2 I'm going to figure out what's going on. I think salsa always also has a place.
Okay, salsa is a warning condominium, but on the table, what do you got?

Speaker 4 I would put salsa on a breakfast hot dog before I would put mustard on a breakfast hot dog.

Speaker 2 That sounds pretty good, honestly. I wouldn't eat.
My thing,

Speaker 2 you just, we schedule a lunch and you said 11:30. I said, can we do noon? I like to eat, noon onwards.
I like to eat lunch.

Speaker 2 I know that,

Speaker 2 I mean, I also had something going on. But But still, noon onwards, you always try to get in before noon.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 Well, I'm trying to give us a little bit extra buffer, first of all, but also, like, I, I don't know. Like, I'll eat lunch at like 11 a.m.
That's not crazy.

Speaker 4 No, and you get to a place at 11:30. You're not going to eat till noon.

Speaker 2 That's part of my calculation. All right.
All right.

Speaker 4 And Mitch is, you know, I'm going to be late.

Speaker 4 Got to be late. Got to decide what he wants.
Yeah. Got to ask the server what a few of the words mean.

Speaker 2 Yeah, if we got a place where we're supposed to meet there at 11:30.

Speaker 2 This is meal made of oats?

Speaker 2 I know what oatmeal is.

Speaker 2 I will talk to the server a lot. Yeah.
But a little buffer is good. Yeah.
Yeah, you get a little buffer. Why not?

Speaker 4 I like that.

Speaker 2 That's what I'm saying. That's why I like 11.
I know we're not going to be eating at 11.30, but meeting at 11.30 seems reasonable. A little buffer.
Just a little buffer. 11.40? 11.40.

Speaker 2 Okay, we can do 11.40. Give me a little buffer.
Let's get ready to.

Speaker 2 Oh, like Michael Buffer? Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's Todd. That's copyright.
We can't say it. We get fucking sued.
We can't say it. I said, let's get ready.
Can you do that? Let's get ready. I think you can.
Can you do that?

Speaker 2 Actually, that kind of just sounds like my new interface was.

Speaker 2 He doesn't have copyright on Let's Get Ready. Let's Get Ready.
I think you can say that and you're in the clear, but who knows? It might be actionable. Are we going to get DCMA'd?

Speaker 4 Might be. It might be like playing a 10-second preview clip, you know? Oh, okay, yes.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And you weren't doing a great job of it, so it's not going to trigger anything. I don't think I've told this story before on the podcast.

Speaker 2 This is a very short story, but this is like my favorite story I ever heard in Vegas. A cab driver was giving me a ride from the...
He was sucking me off.

Speaker 2 A cab driver was sucking me off, and then he was like, actually, I have a tale to tell you.

Speaker 2 No, he will. And I got a tale to show you.

Speaker 2 I was going to suck him off. I was going to suck him off.

Speaker 2 No,

Speaker 2 a cab driver was giving me a ride from the airport to my hotel.

Speaker 2 I just sort of asked him, like, oh, you given any, you ever given any celebrities a ride? And he said, like, oh, I had Michael Buffer in here once. And I was like, oh, what was that? What was he like?

Speaker 2 And he's like, I was driving Michael Buffer. This cab driver's telling me this.

Speaker 2 All right, so far? I was driving Michael Buffer and he goes, check her out. And I look over and it's a woman in a bikini who shit her pants.

Speaker 2 I have heard that from you before.

Speaker 2 That's good. Yeah, pretty good.
That rules. Yeah.

Speaker 4 I hope she's having a wonderful day today.

Speaker 2 Ma'am.

Speaker 4 We here at Doughboys salute.

Speaker 2 You know, saying head was fun.

Speaker 2 Head, getting ahead. Yeah, getting a head.
It's been gone for a while. Bring it back.
We've been saying

Speaker 2 getting sucked off or whatever, but yeah, giving a head is fun. Giving a head is fun.

Speaker 2 Yeah, dome is pretty fun.

Speaker 2 I like top a lot. Yeah, brain.
Brain.

Speaker 2 Brain's too much. Getting brain?

Speaker 4 Getting brain. Somebody clip him saying, I like top a lot.

Speaker 4 That'll be good for a drop or two.

Speaker 2 Getting brain just makes me feel like

Speaker 2 it's getting up there. You know what I'm saying? Right.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 to you hold on

Speaker 2 to you that means it's it's like deep throating i mean yeah it means like it's like poking it's gone the wrong

Speaker 2 it's going up it's gone the wrong tube

Speaker 2 is there a tube that goes up there shouldn't be

Speaker 2 if does it does is there a tube that goes up is there a tube that is i mean i guess your sinus is yeah i guess so i'm saying like that's what it when you're saying getting brain i mean it makes me feel like it's going it's getting up there yeah well that's not what i was picturing but yeah no, that's I understand.

Speaker 2 That's what you're that.

Speaker 2 I'm just saying, that's the pain, the picture is. I didn't coin the term, I was just using it.
All right. Well, I like it too.

Speaker 1 You should start dating a sword swallower.

Speaker 4 Yeah, they could get it up there.

Speaker 2 It's the easiest job I've ever had.

Speaker 2 We reviewed cocktail sword swallower

Speaker 2 back in 2000. Back at the start of the the year, back at the start of 2025, we reviewed Big Mamas and Big Papas.

Speaker 2 We went. We went to Big Mamas and Big Papas.
You were here. That's right.
You were here. And we went in person.
We got the big slice. And

Speaker 2 we,

Speaker 2 at the time, you weren't eating meat.

Speaker 4 I was not.

Speaker 2 You've come around and

Speaker 2 have you had meat on your pizza? Are you having meat-based pizza toppings? I have. What have you had?

Speaker 4 I've done it all. I've done pepperoni.
I've done some fennel sausage. I've done, I haven't done, I haven't dove back into clam pizza yet.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 4 But I have had clams, separative pizza.

Speaker 2 Fun. Yeah.
You took me at a great slice shop right near Madison Square Garden.

Speaker 4 Yep. At that time, I was probably not eating.

Speaker 2 You were not, no. I also got to say, still cheese slice, my favorite slice of pizza.
You know this. I love a cheese slice.
Yeah, of course. Yep.
But you had a, so, so hold on.

Speaker 2 So like, like, you've had clams.

Speaker 4 I had clams. Separately.
I had some chapolinas recently. Oh, fun.
I'm all, I'm back in.

Speaker 2 Wow. As I said, hold on.
Sorry.

Speaker 4 Let me find this. As I said earlier.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Looks like meat's back on the menu, boys.

Speaker 2 You shook off one of the Shrek ears.

Speaker 4 So, yeah, I'm back in.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 4 It's exciting.

Speaker 2 What's honestly exciting? It just doesn't work for me when one of the Shrek ears falls off. Yeah.
Cut that. I think it's an elf.

Speaker 1 It's an elf ear.

Speaker 2 Is that what it is? I think it's an elf, elven in nature. Yeah.

Speaker 2 But what kind kind of elf is green?

Speaker 2 All of them.

Speaker 2 All elves are green. My experience.
I figured for the Lord of the Rings, I think it's not. What are you talking about?

Speaker 2 Elves are not green.

Speaker 4 Are you thinking of the green Christmas elves?

Speaker 2 Maybe some Christmas elves in some interpretation. Not even

Speaker 2 Christmas elves. What does she mean? Well, Shrek's ears are like round and like

Speaker 2 tubes. They're not ears.
You better not Google are Christmas elves green.

Speaker 2 The argument, the shape is not Shrek-like. You are correct.

Speaker 2 It is shaped like an elf or a Vulcan, but

Speaker 2 the green coloration makes me think, yeah, it is a

Speaker 2 show and

Speaker 2 green L.

Speaker 2 And half of those pictures are leprechauns.

Speaker 2 It's like fan art.

Speaker 2 That was mostly leprechauns.

Speaker 2 Well, I guess I got an emergency thing here. Yes.

Speaker 2 Tony, my friend Tony. That's right.
Is asking any dinner wrecks in Culver City? We got to help him out real quick. Okay, I love this.

Speaker 4 Mitch, you are my go-to rec guy.

Speaker 2 I do a pretty good job.

Speaker 4 Oh, in fact, I just want to say,

Speaker 4 one of the first big meat meals I had

Speaker 4 when I started eating meat, my wife and I were in L.A., and we asked Mitch for a rec, and he recommended cheesebaka.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 4 And it was so good.

Speaker 4 It was one of the, we had the bone marrow pie. So again, safety's off.

Speaker 2 I'm diving straight in.

Speaker 4 And it was one of the best things I've ever tasted. It was like unbelievable.

Speaker 2 I'll recommend, because I don't know what Tony is. I was nervous.
I was very nervous because Amelia, we talked about this because I hadn't been in a while, but it is still good. Yes.

Speaker 4 Amelia had recommended another place that I will get to eventually.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I recommended Girl on the Goat.

Speaker 2 Yes. Girl on the Goat is good.
There was one in Chicago. But sorry, I cut you off.
I was going to give one rec.

Speaker 2 And I assume this is like, I want to have just a nice dinner. I would just go to Laurel Grill.

Speaker 2 It's like kind of in downtown Main Street, Culver City. It's It's a place where you can sit down and enjoy yourself.

Speaker 2 Laurel Grill is great. Yeah, I would just,

Speaker 2 that would be my pick. But if they're looking for other types of food,

Speaker 2 you know, there's certainly other options.

Speaker 4 I know nothing about LA geography. I have a vague memory of when I ate meat long ago.

Speaker 4 Is honey kettle chicken?

Speaker 2 Honey kettle chicken. Honey's kettle is there.

Speaker 4 Is that near Culver City?

Speaker 2 Yeah, Honey's Kettle is there. It's a little bit more casual.

Speaker 2 But that's got great fried chicken.

Speaker 2 There's also Carousel is like

Speaker 2 a pasta play, an Italian place by there, a Sicilian place. And then there's also, you know, if you're looking for like a...
Tito's tacos. There's Tito's.
I just don't know what they're looking for.

Speaker 2 Tito's Tacos is an option. You could also toss them in that same area, Johnny's Bastrami.
But I would say like Mayura is an Indian place, a great Indian restaurant.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 the

Speaker 2 I would also say, you know, I'm not sure if it's open for, I think it's open for dinner, but Uzumaki is a sushi option.

Speaker 4 And this is Dr. Fauci.

Speaker 2 This is Dr. Tony Fauci.

Speaker 4 Tony Fauci.

Speaker 2 Yeah, sorry. I call him Tony.
That's just what I'm thinking of.

Speaker 2 There's other options.

Speaker 4 It's cool that you two can still be friends despite your differing views.

Speaker 2 I'd steer him towards Laurel Grill. I think that'll get the job done for whatever.

Speaker 4 What kind of food is that?

Speaker 2 American food? Just like new American food. It's a lot like a Hillstone rest.
It's a little bit like a burger. Right down the middle.
They got a solid burger, maybe. All that sort of shit.

Speaker 2 What's that Italian place that reopened? You know what I'm talking about?

Speaker 2 We try to go there for dinner one time. Oh, you're talking about Deer Johns? Dear John's.
Yes, yeah. That's Culver.
It's like a steakhouse.

Speaker 2 It's like a chop house. Yeah, that place is in Culver.
It's another option.

Speaker 2 I mean, just how it depends on how many, if you want to overwhelm them with options or give them one targeted one, it just depends on what they're looking for.

Speaker 4 Well, Tony, I hope you and that lady who shit herself are having a wonderful day.

Speaker 4 Wherever you both may be.

Speaker 4 By the time this comes out, maybe you'll have met.

Speaker 2 I'm sure I'll have, I'm sure.

Speaker 2 The very talented Tony Mock, who is in

Speaker 2 O'Mary. Yeah, yeah.
Wow. Who you saw in O'Mary? Yeah, he's great.
Wow. O'Mary's so funny.
Wow. Great guy.
I like the theater.

Speaker 2 But we got a great guy here.

Speaker 4 Sorry, I just want to say, I like the theater.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 4 I didn't want you to

Speaker 2 move past that. I like the theater, too.

Speaker 4 People, based on who I associate with, might accuse me of not being a cultured man.

Speaker 2 I know you're a cultured man. I like the theater.
Because of your association with the Doughboys? Or whoever else. I love the theater.

Speaker 2 That's right.

Speaker 2 Welcome to my opera.

Speaker 2 Mitch, you're part of the classic line from Phantom of the Opera.

Speaker 4 You're part of the Phantom Did Nothing Wrong camp, right?

Speaker 2 Phantom is just trying to entertain people. That's right.
Amelia covered her face after I said, Welcome to the opera.

Speaker 2 You also, we should say for our audio listeners, you'd covered half your face.

Speaker 2 Oh, right. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Like

Speaker 2 the mask. I thought I put on a pretty good show there.
It was pretty good.

Speaker 2 But you like the theater. I like the theater.

Speaker 2 Would you ever do like a

Speaker 2 you didn't really? I showed home. Okay, let's see.

Speaker 2 Romeo, Romeo.

Speaker 2 Wherefore art thou, Romeo?

Speaker 2 Dun dun dun dun dun dun.

Speaker 4 I like the theater, of course. Would I do theater?

Speaker 2 Yeah. Sure.

Speaker 4 If it was the right

Speaker 2 check. Wow.
Okay.

Speaker 4 I like money, too.

Speaker 2 Yeah, sure. Amelia, I told you this before.
Amelia once said you were her favorite improviser in front of me.

Speaker 2 And then I was like, what about me? And she still didn't back down. And I agree.
You are. You're a fantastic improviser.
And I like you better than me.

Speaker 2 So are you, Mitch? No, I'm not. You're a very burdened.

Speaker 4 We've done a couple shows together while I've been out here. Mitch is a wonderful improviser.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 4 great time on stage.

Speaker 2 Mitch is a monster of prov.

Speaker 2 Well, Well, this is, he's, he's, he's the, he's.

Speaker 4 He's in a scene holding a box full of vaginas.

Speaker 2 That is true. That is, that is true.
How can you read that?

Speaker 2 The audience was a little nervous where I was going to go with it.

Speaker 2 You're on the show. You're like, can I take this home?

Speaker 2 I'm imagining it to be real.

Speaker 4 He was really depressed after the show when he realized it wasn't real.

Speaker 2 Oh, boy, that's tough. You were like sitting in the corner.
Like,

Speaker 2 I was so close.

Speaker 4 I almost had it.

Speaker 2 I've been trying to

Speaker 2 manifest some stuff from improv. But I'm going to say this.
You're a master of the stage. And also, I want to say that you're a master performer, as we saw earlier.

Speaker 2 And you said earlier before we got you this wolf mask, you said a Shrek mask would work as well. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Well, I mean, I want it.

Speaker 2 I'll unfortunately admit, I've been planning this for a while.

Speaker 2 I've been planning this for a while.

Speaker 4 My dream was to come on here with a perfect oric high mask and do my little bit, but then I sort of ended up coming out here last minute.

Speaker 4 I didn't know I was going to be out here, so I didn't have time to get the mask. Amelia helped me out with a 99% perfect oric high mask, but that was the plan.

Speaker 4 But yeah, Shrek Mask would have got it done. I would have made whatever work.
Amelia did keep kind of trying to pitch that she wanted to paint my face.

Speaker 2 She really wanted to paint your face green.

Speaker 1 Green face paint.

Speaker 2 She said that five to seven times because she was the mask for Halloween. Oh, that's fun.
Nice. How recently?

Speaker 1 A few days ago.

Speaker 2 A few days ago. Wow.
How'd that go? Amazing. What did that sound? Because she was smoking.

Speaker 2 Emma, did you dress up for Halloween? No, I didn't really do it.

Speaker 1 I've never been a costumes for Halloween person. I tend to like stay home and just be chill and watch movies on Halloween.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's me too. I'm not like a

Speaker 2 adult Halloween costume, but maybe we'll try it sometime.

Speaker 4 Especially when Halloween falls on an actual Friday. Too crazy.

Speaker 2 It's too crazy. That is crazy.

Speaker 1 I don't go out all that often. And so, like, I, like, when I do, and it's like a hall weekend like that, it's so crazy and overwhelming.
I'm like, get me home.

Speaker 4 If it's on a Tuesday, I might go to a party or something, but not on a Friday. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I kind of, it is kind of fun to see the freaks coming out at night on Halloween night.

Speaker 1 I did go for a walk around Echo Park on Friday night, and it was, there were some great costumes just like walking around, some good people watching.

Speaker 2 I'm going to say this. I drove you by Echo Park Lake, and your response was, this is it? It is.
It's small. It's a bit of an underwhelming lake.
It's little. I mean, it's a nice walk, though.

Speaker 2 The reservoir.

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 2 I've heard you talk so much about walking around the reservoir. It was the reservoir.
It wasn't Echo Park. The Silver Lake Reservoir.
Yeah. The Silver Lake Reservoir.

Speaker 1 Come for a walk with me and Jemmy at Echo Park Lake.

Speaker 4 It's beautiful. I'm down.
I'm down anytime. They both.
Don't bring me to the reservoir.

Speaker 2 Is Echo Park Lake actually is probably nicer, I guess.

Speaker 1 Well, it's a lake that they like maintain the vegetation and stuff in it, so it's very curated and clean, and it's very pretty.

Speaker 2 There's turtles.

Speaker 1 and there's turtles and all the swan boats and stuff. Whereas the reservoir is a reservoir, so there's not much in the water, right?

Speaker 2 It's just water for at Echo Park Lake.

Speaker 4 Can you get close enough to piss in it?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, I think there's a lot of piss in it. Actually, I saw

Speaker 1 a family fishing there like last weekend, and we were walking, just walking, I saw them fishing with this little girl. She was so excited, and they pulled something out of the water.

Speaker 1 I was like, oh, cool, they caught something. It was somebody's boxers.

Speaker 2 Oh, man.

Speaker 1 And they were laughing at it. They were hysterical.
And I was like, that is some city shit right there.

Speaker 2 Well, I have a feeling they weren't clean. No,

Speaker 2 that's my guess, too. I thought you were going to say they somehow fished piss out of the lake.
I was trying to figure out how that would have worked. Someone's pissed on me boxers.
Yeah,

Speaker 2 how would that work? Mitch, we could solve this problem.

Speaker 4 You did say you were going commando the other day.

Speaker 2 Those were not my boxers in the lake. I've never pissed in that lake.
I've never been in that lake. I don't think you can go in it technically, but you can get close enough.

Speaker 1 You could do it off the swan boats.

Speaker 2 Yeah, for sure. Yeah, you can get out the way.

Speaker 2 You can get on a swan boat and take a piss off of them. Yeah.
If you want to do that at the reservoir, I was disappointed that there was a big fence. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 Not that I'm going to piss in it. Yeah.
But you want to know it's an option.

Speaker 2 You want to know it's an option. Well, it is.
I think they do use it. They use that water.
Yes. In some way.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I mean, you wouldn't want people pissing in that. No.
Although you think about it, they're probably all sorts of wild. Yeah, the filters will take care of that.
They will, yeah.

Speaker 2 Though I think three people from this podcast have drank piss, we realized the other day.

Speaker 1 I think just two. I think just Nick and Amelia.

Speaker 2 Oh, just Nick and Amelia.

Speaker 2 yeah just nick and amelia

Speaker 4 yeah just me and you on purpose by accident what happened uh i think

Speaker 2 someone else did i tell the story on the main feed i can't remember you did no it was a double oh it was a double okay trend so beyond that i'll tell the story about outside the paywall now so i had a

Speaker 2 so yeah this was i was in high school and we were getting drunk at my house my parents were away sorry mom and dad and um i got absolutely fucked up around your ass i know this is the first time you're hearing about that uh maybe I don't know.

Speaker 2 I'm sure they pieced it together. You can call them right after and say, guess what I just did?

Speaker 2 Got absolutely shit-faced, and I was like fucking hammered. And we were drinking beer.
And

Speaker 2 my buddy Alfredo filled a mug. I think I know why you became friends with him.

Speaker 2 Filled a mug with piss

Speaker 2 and like tricked me into thinking it was a beer. And I drank the whole thing.
I chugged it. Hold on.
Okay. All right.
I chugged it and was so drunk I didn't taste that it was piss. And then I

Speaker 2 and then I was, and then he told me afterwards, and I tried to fight him and I just fell down.

Speaker 4 So, you, a man named Alfredo tricked you into drinking piss, and you're the one who hates Italians.

Speaker 2 What the hell?

Speaker 2 Weiger would have every right to. I agree.

Speaker 2 You get it now.

Speaker 2 He was not Italian, but yes. Oh, Oh, was it? No.

Speaker 2 I guess Alfredo issue could be a lot of things. It could be a lot of things.

Speaker 2 What was his last name?

Speaker 2 Parmigiano.

Speaker 2 Maybe I shouldn't have talked Pim.

Speaker 2 It's just his first name only, but it's a pretty distinct first name.

Speaker 4 It's a fake name. No, it was a fake name.
All right.

Speaker 2 I have a question for you. Yeah.
Did you piss B relater?

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's crazy how that works.

Speaker 2 Just

Speaker 2 tilt it right towards my mouth.

Speaker 2 So hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

Speaker 4 Because he drank piss,

Speaker 2 he would piss beer. It processes it back into beer.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's cool.
And if you piss in your own mouth, you just get to drink ice cream. Yeah, also that's you just did that immediately?

Speaker 2 Yeah. Oh, yeah, no, cool.
That's what I heard. It also turns it turns from warm to cold.
That's the other thing it does. And have you told the story of how you'll keep it behind the page? Okay.

Speaker 2 Okay. Wow, very cool.
The P-Wall. Don't say I didn't try.

Speaker 4 When I come here, I have two goals. To say the thing about eating meat and to release stories from behind the pay-wall.

Speaker 2 I would just say, if you're specifically subscribing to the Patreon to hear Amelia's piss drinking story, we don't need your $5 story.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we do. Yeah, we do.
Honestly, we do. We do.
Please. Please subscribe.

Speaker 2 Okay, so we obviously... That's the type of stuff you're missing on the Doughboys double.
That's right.

Speaker 4 It's crazy in there. I'm going to tell a story about my own piss in there.

Speaker 2 Wow. Wow.

Speaker 4 I haven't drank it yet, but by the time the release of the episode.

Speaker 2 You know, I'll do a shot of piss too. Why not? Well, I'll drink some piss behind the baywall.

Speaker 2 We obviously had our live show in Newark where we raved about pliables.

Speaker 2 Have you still been consuming a lot of pliables?

Speaker 4 That actually, you know what? I'm glad you brought this up. Yes.
Because at that show,

Speaker 4 you went in a little skeptical. I did, absolutely.
We had a wonderful experience.

Speaker 2 Loved Plyables.

Speaker 4 It was a platinum plate club. Yes.

Speaker 2 Restaurant.

Speaker 4 I'm here to say Plyables, you're on notice. Wow.

Speaker 4 They've fallen off a little bit. Sometimes, one time I ordered it, they didn't even drizzle.
They gave me a cup and I had to drizzle myself.

Speaker 2 Oh, that's rough. That's tough.
And then I did a little research.

Speaker 4 I'm not only an actor. I'm an investigative journalist.

Speaker 2 Sure.

Speaker 4 I went in their website because one of the reasons I like Blybowl is I like how much I like the idea of eating some fiber.

Speaker 2 I'm getting some fruit. Yeah, of course.

Speaker 4 Their acai base has zero grams of fiber.

Speaker 2 Interesting.

Speaker 4 I reached out to the Bly Bowl Corporation via their online

Speaker 4 question-asking submission form, and I said, how does this have no fiber if it's made of blended fruit?

Speaker 2 No response. Wow.

Speaker 2 Do their other bases have any? We need some answers. Some of them do.

Speaker 2 We need some answers. Just saying.

Speaker 2 saying i wonder if acai is like a weird like outlet because it's like such a such a bizarre fruit like it can't even be transported fresh they have to freeze it i didn't even know that so i wonder if it has some strange quality where it's not particularly fibrous or something i don't know what zero grams zero grams seems a little suspect at least give me like less than half a gram you know sometimes they do the little less than half a gram yes yeah zero cost me a bump i will say i went to the penn station playable before leaving new york city on on my way the the choo-choo out and i it was a real highlight i thought it's so good it is so good check out the tea but it's on notice.

Speaker 2 Mitch is wearing a Katz's delicatessen t-shirt. I got this in the big city.
How about that?

Speaker 4 You guys love New York now.

Speaker 2 I do. I always have a great time when I'm in New York City.

Speaker 2 I always wish I had a reason to have lived there. What was the pizza place we went to there? What was it called?

Speaker 4 New York Pizza Suprema.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. Yeah, great spot.

Speaker 4 That place, famously, because they put it in their restaurant, this guy, I think, tried a slice of cheese pizza from every pizza place in Manhattan, and that was his favorite slice.

Speaker 2 Wow. Yeah.

Speaker 4 That's why I always recommend that one.

Speaker 2 You're eating meat again. Yeah.
Have you been to a restaurant we went to when we were there? Mitch and I went to when we were there, Hamburger America. I have not.
Wow. Okay.
Really good.

Speaker 2 We had a great time at Hamburger America. Emma, you enjoyed hamburger.

Speaker 1 I loved it. I've literally thought about it like every day since we've been back.

Speaker 2 It's so good. Delightful burgs.
Yeah. Really?

Speaker 4 The second I get back.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Why not?

Speaker 4 It's worth it. I had a burger out here recently at a place called Burgers Never Say Die.
Oh, yes.

Speaker 2 Smash Burger. Yeah.
Yeah. Pretty good.
Owned by a Quincy Man. Pretty good.

Speaker 4 But I do think, and we, I think the Smash Burger is just a marketing trick to get, to give you less meat.

Speaker 2 I'm usually not the biggest Smash Burger advocate, and it's definitely more like kind of that approach at Hamburger America.

Speaker 2 It's, it's, you know, it's, I mean, it's like, yeah, it's, it's not like it's

Speaker 2 a thinner patty. I don't know if it's actually a smash burger, but you, you know, you get a couple.
David Sims advised us to get two, and that was the right call. Two patties or two burgers?

Speaker 2 Two burgers. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Because it's not particularly substantial, but it's real, real yummy.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I mean, they are tasty, but but yeah, they're not as, you're not getting as much meat.

Speaker 2 Burgers never say diet really smashes them. I looked through the window and, you know, who was, never mind.

Speaker 4 Who was in there?

Speaker 2 Wait, no, Mitch, who was in there?

Speaker 2 Hulk was working the grill. Yeah.
Hulk, because he's Hulk likes to smash. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Right. You know, when I was there, when I was there, I looked through the window and...

Speaker 2 You didn't laugh at anything else I've said today and then you laughed at the biggest bomb?

Speaker 4 Well, you know, speaking of bombs, when I was there, I i looked through the window yeah and gronk was working

Speaker 2 oh so gronk was kind of smashing yeah that makes yeah that makes a lot of sense i was this is weird because my experience and i was over there at burgers never say die you know yeah i'll get myself a a smash burger not my favorite but you know whatever i they do it good they do it well here um and i get a look into the kitchen

Speaker 2 uh you want to know who's in there Who Wreck-It Ralph?

Speaker 2 Mitch, I wasn't going to say Wreck-It Ralph, but he was back there. But he was back there.
So yes, Wreck-It Ralph was back there. Oh, there's another guy, though.

Speaker 2 But no, I was actually thinking, I was actually thinking that it was Mario from the original Donkey Kong who grabbed one of those hammers.

Speaker 2 What happened when the hammer gave out?

Speaker 2 He was just like, he's like, shift's over.

Speaker 4 I had the burger the first time. Yeah.

Speaker 4 And I thought it was pretty good, but I wanted to get another to really make sure I felt about it.

Speaker 4 And I went up to the window and I peeked in the back, and I saw in the back the guy making the burgers was Hephaestus himself.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 2 The Roman god of hammers. Yeah.
Or maybe Greek. Like working as famed for.
Yeah. It's wild.

Speaker 2 Johnny's going to say right off the bat. What a strange staff.
It's really weird, but you know, they do it well there.

Speaker 2 It is a well-made burger. I don't know why.
It's Hollywood. Yeah.
It's Hollywood. I will also, you know, this is the thing.
uh-huh um

Speaker 2 so i was over at burger never burgers never say die yeah oh yeah and on the opposite side of town from where you live i get it yeah but i mean you know whatever i buy a good burger for a good burger

Speaker 2 travel and i'm over here for work all the time so you know i was just i was i was here anyway anyway i go to burgers never say die uh i get a look in the kitchen um who's in there how's this is the thing i thought this guy worked for dominoes the noid with his big pizza smasher

Speaker 2 and he's using his big pizza smasher which he used to ruin pizzas to instead make Smash Burger.

Speaker 4 That's savvy because it's probably he can use it as a write-off for both.

Speaker 2 He can, yes, right. Yeah.

Speaker 4 It's a double business write-off.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I never thought about how the Noid can write off his Smashing Machine.

Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 2 you know, so back there.

Speaker 2 The Rock from the Smashing Machine. Oh, wow.
The Rock from the Machine. Dwayne Johnson.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then doing research for the Safety. One of the Safties was back there, too.

Speaker 2 I'm not sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 I, you know, I did go. I went today before the record

Speaker 4 because

Speaker 4 I knew we were going to have sandwiches. And

Speaker 4 I wanted to later we'll get into is a burger a sandwich?

Speaker 4 But I got another burger and I looked back there and

Speaker 4 it's a little unusual, but

Speaker 4 Austin Powers was back there.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 2 And he was saying, absolutely smashing, baby. Wow.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 He wasn't cooking, but he was like giving them encouragement.

Speaker 2 Yeah. It's kind of crazy because, like, I had a similar experience.
And it was, again, that guy who wasn't cooking was given encouragement, but it was the guy from Wild Thornberries saying, smashing.

Speaker 2 They got them with Wild Thornberries. How the fuck do you know Wild Thornberries? I know some things.
I forgot about Wild Thornberry. All right.

Speaker 2 You too old to watch that stuff, my man. Never too old to watch a child's cartoon.

Speaker 4 When you're dating someone, it's nice to, you know, learn what they're into. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Jesus Christ.

Speaker 4 Something to consider, man.

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Speaker 2 pickles

Speaker 2 pickles your thoughts

Speaker 2 i like pickles yeah i like the word i like the i like the phrase being in a pickle yeah that's really good fun it comes from baseball it does yeah i didn't know that you're in a pickle when you're when it's like uh you're running between two different that's where the term that's where pickle i'm pretty sure that's the etymology of it seems insane to me the term in a pickle not the term in a pickle yeah in a pickle, yeah.

Speaker 2 Because if someone, if you're caught between two and you're running back and forth,

Speaker 2 it's like you're in a pickle. I was just waving at somebody.
Trying to get me come to the studio. To talk about pickles? Oh, you can bleep that.

Speaker 4 Well, you know, speaking of baseball phrases,

Speaker 4 have you heard? I forget the guy's name, and I don't know if you're allowed to Google this on work computers, but

Speaker 4 is it Merkel's boner?

Speaker 1 You want me to Google Merkel's boner?

Speaker 4 Okay, Google Baseball Play Boner. There's a famous boner.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Merkel, M-E-R-K-L-E.

Speaker 4 Okay. So

Speaker 4 this guy screwed up.

Speaker 1 Base running mistake by

Speaker 1 the way.

Speaker 4 And even weirder, and I'm really glad that was the name. Otherwise, this would have been a bizarre Freudian self-owned.
My dad's name is Merkel.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 4 Whoa. Not spelled the same way, but

Speaker 4 imagine if it wasn't his name and I was just like, let's talk about Merkel's boner.

Speaker 2 So much of our vernacular, is that the word I'm looking at? It's from baseball. It's from baseball.
I've heard a lot of it comes from baseball and organized crime.

Speaker 4 Home run.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Home run.
First base. First base.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Third base. Third base.
Home run.

Speaker 4 First base.

Speaker 2 All the way.

Speaker 4 Which one is getting brain?

Speaker 2 A third base. Third base.
Third base. Is that third base? I thought that was second base.
Well,

Speaker 4 brain, as we've discussed, brain is.

Speaker 2 Well, this isn't fair because second base to me was always.

Speaker 2 This is complicated because I don't know what was for ladies, but for me, second base was grabbing a boob. I thought it was like first base.
So,

Speaker 2 you're making out. First base is just a bad thing.

Speaker 1 Second base is like up the shirt, and then third base, you're gonna get it.

Speaker 1 I thought second base was getting fingered.

Speaker 2 I thought first, Jesus Christ.

Speaker 2 I thought first base was fingering. I thought that was

Speaker 2 fingering. Second base was

Speaker 2 that hard to get the first base. Are you kidding me?

Speaker 4 For me, first base is asking if it's okay to take them out. Yes.

Speaker 4 Second base is asking their father, of course.

Speaker 1 According to columbia.edu, first base is kissing. Second base is touching a woman's breast.
Third base involves genitalia. Fourth base is going all the way.

Speaker 2 Hell yeah.

Speaker 4 According to Columbia, there is no second base.

Speaker 4 Second base only applies to someone who is touching a woman's breast.

Speaker 1 I feel like second base is like, is like everything but going in the pillar.

Speaker 2 Overclothed stuff? Or maybe a testicle? Here's the thing, though. I mean, a man is enjoying from that, too, but a lady probably.
Ooh,

Speaker 2 this hand is on my boob. I think that that is probably a nice feeling to have.

Speaker 2 Hunk hunk, here we go. Yes.
Hunk hunk. Here we go.
Of course. Exactly.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 What's second base stuff?

Speaker 2 We need to do more research. Just maybe just reaching up to shirt.
Oh, no. Amelia had an idea, but she shook her head.
No.

Speaker 2 It was like, are we talking over clothes? I guess it's just overclothed stuff is now what I'm thinking, where my mind is at. But I feel like you could go go underclothes, right? I don't know.

Speaker 2 Underclothes, waist up. Yeah, maybe that's it.
So

Speaker 2 you could grab an ass. Grabbing a boot.
I was right. The Oxford.

Speaker 4 You could grab an ass at second base.

Speaker 2 So ass is second base.

Speaker 4 To me.

Speaker 1 Maybe over the pants ass. I don't know.
It says third base involves is where genitals come into play.

Speaker 2 I clearly had this completely off because I thought, I seriously thought that first base was fingering, second base was oral, third place was vaginal, and fourth place and home, like a home run was anal.

Speaker 2 So Jesus Christ was anal.

Speaker 2 I thought if you was like, I'm so sad for the girl that you said, you want to go to first base to.

Speaker 2 She expects a kiss.

Speaker 4 So for you, kissing is like hitting off the tee.

Speaker 2 That's like

Speaker 2 you're in the back. I never used these terms myself.
This was never how I like. I never applied this to anything.
I was never like talking with the bros about getting to a certain base.

Speaker 2 That's just like what I assumed it was, was happening. We were saying it.
I don't fucking know.

Speaker 4 Well, we have the definitive answer from columbia.edu.

Speaker 2 No, it's a first time.

Speaker 2 Can I ask you what your favorite base is?

Speaker 2 What my favorite base is?

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 What's your favorite base on Weiger's scale or the Columbia scale?

Speaker 2 On Columbia's scale.

Speaker 2 I think staying in the dugout.

Speaker 2 You know what? I really like second base. I think second base is.
Second base is nice. It can be kind of tender.
Yeah,

Speaker 2 you're still not. I really like first base.
I think first base is great. Sure, yeah.

Speaker 4 I like when the manager comes out to the mound and has a meeting with the

Speaker 2 pitcher.

Speaker 2 I wonder what that is.

Speaker 2 I guess that is kind of like a dad interrupting the date.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. But baseball,

Speaker 1 is that you getting called over the next morning for chlamydia pill?

Speaker 4 If it had been notes about your sexual prowess, it would have been a mound meeting.

Speaker 4 But the chlamydia pill is like a stat correction or something.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I think it's something like, I think it would be like a stat correction.

Speaker 4 It's like something that was ruled a homer gets. Yeah, like a replay.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's a replay, I think. Maybe a replay.
We love baseball. We love baseball.

Speaker 4 Yeah, we love baseball.

Speaker 2 America, it's America's national pastime. We love baseball.
And yes,

Speaker 2 a lot of our

Speaker 2 slang terms here in the US of A. But yes, we love our pickles.

Speaker 2 I do love saying pickle. You're right.
I do love that the phrase in a pickle is a lot of fun. Give me a nickel, chickle your pickle.
We don't like that one. You've said that.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I don't love that one. Yeah, yeah.
I've said that. Disgusting.

Speaker 2 Disgusting one. You know, they say American is apple pie.
What I think you could say is American is sliced pickle. What is your, what is your favorite context? Pie sliced.
Well, I don't know.

Speaker 2 Like, you know, I mean, like, like a pickle.

Speaker 2 Mixed American is pickles. All right.

Speaker 2 fine. American is pickle.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 No, that doesn't sound good coming off the tongue. American is pickle.
You do need a few more syllables, I think.

Speaker 2 American is sliced pickle. Dill pickle?

Speaker 4 Dill pickle.

Speaker 2 I like American is dill. It's like a dill pickle.
Yeah. Would you have a favorite pickle context?

Speaker 2 I do like an occasional just spear.

Speaker 4 Yeah, spear's pick. I love a bread and butter pickle.
Sure. In the right, on the right, like on a burger or whatever.

Speaker 4 I like relish. I really can do it all when it comes to pickles.

Speaker 2 What about one of those big sum bitches that's like you know, like a big, like thing you got to rip really quickly?

Speaker 4 Like at the gas station, you get it in the

Speaker 4 power.

Speaker 2 Oh, I like those.

Speaker 2 You know what pickles are too much for me? Hangovers. I never realized how good pickles are.

Speaker 2 Interesting.

Speaker 4 But I will say the classic pickle is not my favorite form of pickle.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 4 I like pickled other vegetables. Yes.
I like pickled onion. I like a pickled radish.

Speaker 2 I like pickled onion. All right.
We have acknowledged a new guest in our studio

Speaker 2 Here from upstate New York, in town in LA, Anya Kanovskaya, the wire queen. Hi, Anya.

Speaker 2 Welcome back, Anya.

Speaker 1 Welcome back. Can you guys do this with no microphone? No, you will hear it.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Anya is back behind the dais, I guess, sharing a chair with Emma. That's very nice of you.
Wow.

Speaker 1 To be honest, this is such an important episode with an important guest. It feels wrong that I'm interrupting in any way.

Speaker 2 Never. Not at all.
We're happy to have you. We're thrilled.
You're still a part of the Head Gum family.

Speaker 4 We're going to toss most of the stuff we did We're going to fuck it out.

Speaker 2 We're kind of starting.

Speaker 1 I got a text from Emma that was like, dud, dud, dude.

Speaker 2 Yeah. We don't really for an hour.

Speaker 1 We're probably going to keep two or three minutes of it. I thought I was going to eat candy with y'all.

Speaker 2 Call that later.

Speaker 1 That is later. I will let you know when we eat candy.

Speaker 2 I think I'll be done. We jumped the fucking gun.

Speaker 2 No, we could eat. You could have some candy.
We could have some candy.

Speaker 1 Candy. I mean, I'm.
It's a segment for later.

Speaker 2 I don't want to. It was a segment for later.

Speaker 4 Could start a new tradition of taking a break mid-Doughboys to eat candy.

Speaker 2 I don't think we need to add that to Doughboys. A candy break during Doughboys?

Speaker 4 It's kind of nice for the guests.

Speaker 2 Anya, wait, we could, you know, we're here and I think like, you know, we, we wanted to make sure that people knew that you were still in the family and that you were still like, like, like with the Doughboys, of course, still love you.

Speaker 2 And we're happy to have you here. And like, yes.
And it's great that you're in town and it's great that you're still part of HeadGo.

Speaker 1 Of course. I'll be back a lot.
Yeah. It's really hard to stay away, but I did have to move for my life to be happy.

Speaker 2 But you're still like, you're still working for the company.

Speaker 2 And I think there's been a lot of speculation that like, especially amidst all the layoffs and everything of like what your position might be, especially as everyone knows that you're someone who works on the show, who's our executive producer here at Doughboys.

Speaker 2 But we wanted to let everyone know you're still involved. You're still part of the extended family.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and not, I don't read the Reddit often.

Speaker 2 Right.

Speaker 1 Smart. But I did see one particular thread

Speaker 1 where people were really, really worried about what was going to happen. to Head Gum just because I relocated.
And I just want to assure them that everything's going to be fine.

Speaker 2 Everything's fine.

Speaker 2 Nothing to worry about.

Speaker 1 I did think that it was funny that there was a fly infestation the day after.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 2 I saw that.

Speaker 1 But nothing I could have done, like, you know what I mean? Like, there was like two days.

Speaker 2 To me, that was.

Speaker 1 You're also not an exterminator.

Speaker 2 Right.

Speaker 1 I just mean like nothing. The effects of me leaving couldn't have been funny.

Speaker 2 It was very funny that you left and there was a fly infestation immediately. Yes.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 It might have been a metaphor.

Speaker 2 Kind of biblical. Yeah.
Biblical. From the universe.
Yeah. Anya, do you have any take on pickles?

Speaker 1 Love. One of my favorite foods.

Speaker 2 What's your favorite context for pickles?

Speaker 1 Like, what context to eat the pickle?

Speaker 2 Like, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Honestly, as a Russian person, it's kind of like morning, noon, and night. It's like you could have one at breakfast, you could have it at lunch.

Speaker 2 No, when you're saying pickles, are you picturing a pickled cucumber? Are you thinking of other pickled vegetables?

Speaker 1 I'm thinking pickles, pickled cucumber.

Speaker 2 Okay, got it.

Speaker 1 Pickle pickle. When I was little, I would eat the little ones out of the jar.
Yeah,

Speaker 2 the little mini ones. Kirk.

Speaker 1 That's a Russian deli. Yeah, and I would like, I could do a whole kirkin.

Speaker 2 Wow. And I assume you like more of a, you like more of a dill pickle, more of a sour pickle as opposed to a sweet pickle? Yeah, for sure.
100.

Speaker 1 But I feel like all pickled, there's not really pickled food that I don't like.

Speaker 2 Wow. I don't like the ones that just taste like cucumber.
They're pickled, but they just kind of taste like a vinegary pickle. I want more vinegar.

Speaker 4 What about like pickled pigs' feet? That type, that genre of pickled eggs?

Speaker 2 I've never had, but it feels like it could be good.

Speaker 4 Gas station pickled egg.

Speaker 2 I like a pickled egg. I do like a pickled egg.
I don't like pickled eggs. I've never had.
Oh, I'll fuck with a pickled egg.

Speaker 4 Sounds like we got a lot

Speaker 2 of

Speaker 1 gas station.

Speaker 4 Not around here, but I think in the south, that's a big thing.

Speaker 2 You're like a bag in a bag.

Speaker 4 Having a pickled egg or a pickled pig's foot at the register.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I did not even know.

Speaker 2 Wow. Where at the south?

Speaker 4 We're going to get letters about this.

Speaker 2 It's not a thing. It's probably not a thing.
Wait, Zach, where did you grow up? Dear Doughboys, I'm from the South and you got it all on.

Speaker 2 Shut up.

Speaker 4 I grew up in the South.

Speaker 2 Okay, great.

Speaker 2 In

Speaker 2 New Jersey. In the South of New Jersey.

Speaker 4 Yeah, well, central Jersey.

Speaker 2 Is Stewart's a thing in Jersey? Or is that just in New York, upstate New York?

Speaker 1 Stewart's like Stewart shops.

Speaker 2 Oh, the gas station.

Speaker 4 Kind of. But I was always disappointed by them because I wanted it to be more,

Speaker 4 I wanted it to be like roller skating and stuff.

Speaker 4 You know, like

Speaker 2 a car hop. Oh, I saw it.

Speaker 2 Because it was a root beer. It's like a Johnny Rockstar.

Speaker 4 Like a root beer thing, but it's just like a convenience store.

Speaker 1 But it's not just a convenience store.

Speaker 2 Well.

Speaker 1 Wait, is it the same Stewart that makes the soda?

Speaker 4 I don't know.

Speaker 2 Gotta say, there's a lot of comedy Stewarts. Stuart Smiley.
Yeah. Stuart Little.
Or is it Stuart Little? Yeah. Is it Stuart Smalley or Stuart Smiley? Stuart Smalley, I think.
Stuart Smiley.

Speaker 2 Smalley? It's played. It's Smalley.
And it's played by curly-haired Minnesota. Oh, Franken.
Thank you. Yes.

Speaker 2 This is good. Stuart Smiley.
That was very good. Stuart Smiley Stewart from Mad TV.

Speaker 2 It is Smalley.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it is Smalley. Stuart from Mad TV.

Speaker 2 Stuart from Mad TV. Yes.
And then didn't Martin Short play Stewart? Wasn't there a Stewart? Yes. Jon Stewart.
I know Jon Stewart. Jon Stewart.
Stewart's a big comedy name.

Speaker 2 And then also Stewie from Family Guy. Ooh, how could I forget? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Lots of Stewart. Stew's in comedy.

Speaker 4 I got to say, I love that little guy, Stewie.

Speaker 2 Stewie's pretty funny.

Speaker 2 Oh, man. But he's a rascal.

Speaker 4 I mean,

Speaker 4 I don't endorse his behaviors, but... He makes me laugh.

Speaker 2 Does he still get changed? He's still a baby, right? How old is he supposed to be? He's a baby. He's a baby.

Speaker 4 Probably under one one year old.

Speaker 1 He does get tough.

Speaker 2 He's pretty horny for a baby. Maybe one year.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Very horny for a baby.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Well, he's in a sort of long-term committed relationship with his teddy bear.

Speaker 2 Oh, that's right. Yeah.

Speaker 1 They go on and off again, but you know.

Speaker 4 This is where I reveal I'm deep in the family guy.

Speaker 2 You're in good company in here. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Rupert. You're talking about Rupert.
Yeah, Rupert, the teddy bear.

Speaker 2 Yeah, Rupert.

Speaker 2 Anya, any notable eats in your new home in upstate New York? Great. Where in upstate New York? I'm in

Speaker 2 a doctor's house, so probably.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 1 Right on the river across from.

Speaker 1 Gotcha.

Speaker 1 There's kind of the thing about up there is that it's like you have the best restaurants, like very, very nice restaurants where they're getting the food from like the farms that are just next door.

Speaker 1 And then there's kind of no middle, like, it's kind of just that. Like, there's not a lot of like sandwich places that are just like good.

Speaker 2 Not a lot of grab and go.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like all the local places have been there for a long time and they're kind of like, but Stewart's

Speaker 1 gas stations have amazing ice cream.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 for a gas station. That's what it's great.

Speaker 2 What is this? Like soft stir? What do you do?

Speaker 1 No, it's like it's.

Speaker 2 They get scoop ice cream. Yeah.
And they make it from behind a counter. Oh, they make it.
Wow.

Speaker 2 That sounds awesome.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's like the Stewarts brand. It's kind of a big deal, no?

Speaker 2 I got a question for you. I know Stu Leonard's.

Speaker 1 You didn't have Stewart's where you grew up?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 4 She's talking about a different thing.

Speaker 1 Something else. Also, a gas station?

Speaker 2 Stu Leonard's?

Speaker 2 I have a question for you. Yeah.

Speaker 2 This is the. I know for sure that Rip Van Winkle is that area.

Speaker 1 The Rip Van Winkle Bridge.

Speaker 2 Yeah, Hudson, right?

Speaker 1 I walk the bridge all the time.

Speaker 2 So Rip Van Winkle from there, but also, correct me if I'm wrong, is Ichabod Crane that area? Yeah, so

Speaker 2 Lee Hollow is

Speaker 2 Westchester. Upstate New York is such a broad term.

Speaker 4 It can, you know, mean, it, it basically goes all the way up to Canada. Yes.

Speaker 2 Hey, I went to, I lived in upstate New York for four years in Ithaca College, at Ithaca College. They have a whole cinematic universe up there.

Speaker 2 That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 recently spent, I spent some time working in Poughkeepsie and Syracuse recently.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 4 Poughkeepsie had a wonderful sandwich shop called Rosie's

Speaker 4 Rosi's Deli or something. And Syracuse.

Speaker 2 I was also there. It was awesome.

Speaker 2 But

Speaker 1 if I can bring it up, a lot of the places that you guys shot at are like...

Speaker 1 like there's a lot of great restaurants. Yeah, there were good at a Chinese place that I think was a severance location.

Speaker 4 Oh, that wasn't wasn't even what I was talking about. I was there more recently than that.
But yeah, there's a lot of good food up in the Hudson Valley area. And

Speaker 4 I'm a Doughboys listener, and I heard you talk about garbage plates recently. That's right.
And I spent some time in Rochester once upon a time.

Speaker 4 And I fucking love garbage plates. Wow.
I'm obsessed with them to the point where I try and recreate them elsewhere just by, you can't do it.

Speaker 1 You can't do it. There's a cool local specialty in Binghamton called a Speedy.
Do you know about this? A Speedy? A Speedy, which is like a skewer skewer of.

Speaker 2 Sounds like a discount hand job.

Speaker 2 It's not a discount hand job.

Speaker 4 You get caught stealing at second.

Speaker 2 Speedy.

Speaker 1 It's like marinated chicken or lamb or pork, maybe, and just on a piece of white bread. And that's like the bar food.
That sounds good.

Speaker 2 I've had doughboys up there.

Speaker 2 There are things called doughboys that are little, like, I think they're filled with buffalo chicken or something.

Speaker 2 Like a little hand pocket? Ham pie kind? Yeah, a little ham pie thing. Hold on, I don't find it.
I thought you you were making a joke.

Speaker 2 No, this is real.

Speaker 4 Little ham pie also sounds like some type of jack-off.

Speaker 2 I was waiting for it to be the no boys, the little jerk-off thing. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Well, you'll know

Speaker 1 when you come visit because you're always saying you can't wait to do that. Oh, yeah.
And I'll take you on a kind of a culinary tour. Some of the best peach I've ever had in my life was in Kingston.

Speaker 2 Wow. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think it's called Sarah and Charleston.

Speaker 4 Charlie State, New York food tour would be, you'd have a good time.

Speaker 2 That'd be fun. You think so? Good stuff.

Speaker 4 Interesting.

Speaker 2 Go and choo choo up there. You could take the choo-choo.
In October. Okay.

Speaker 4 Go in the fall when the leaves are changing.

Speaker 2 Beautiful. So that's a full year away.
So I don't know how you can. I could dilly deli.
Yeah. You can probably.
Well, or you could go right now.

Speaker 2 Next year's. No, you're just in New York.
Wait some time. That's right.
Yeah. Yeah.
Anya, thank you so much for all that you do.

Speaker 2 You don't have, you don't have to stick around, but yeah, you're welcome. Welcome to, but also you can leave.

Speaker 1 Do people know how late you guys are recording these days?

Speaker 2 I don't know. I don't know.

Speaker 1 I think that would help with the narrative of no one's ever at the head gum office is that you guys record after five.

Speaker 2 Don't try to change the narrative. I also used to record in the middle of of the day

Speaker 2 used to start at noon it was different

Speaker 2 you were here yeah good to see onya

Speaker 2 town

Speaker 2 oh he's having fun no

Speaker 1 tell me what you're doing

Speaker 2 yeah

Speaker 2 we're talking jimmy john's pickle witch menu uh we're sandwiching pickle witch is a registered trademark it's got an r next to it we're sandwiching our classic meats and provolone between between two halves of a crispy Jimmy Pickle.

Speaker 2 What's not to love? Try them all before they're done. I don't like Jimmy Pickle either, honestly.
They're called Jimmy Pickles, and that's also a registered trademark.

Speaker 4 I don't like that they registered Pickle Witch.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's theirs.

Speaker 4 That should be everyone's.

Speaker 2 I agree with that. I agree.
This stands.

Speaker 1 They're sailors saying pickle sandwich, but every time I hear it, I think of like a witch who does something with pickles.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I don't know why.
That's a fun character. Yeah.
The pickle witch? Pickle witch, but she turns you into pickles or something. That's kind of fun.

Speaker 4 And she's dating Pickle Rick from Rick and

Speaker 2 the Pickle Witch. I won't know.
I don't, I've never, we've referenced Pickle Rick so much, I don't know.

Speaker 2 You may know it. I don't know.
It's a good episode. You should watch it.
I'll watch it. I'll watch it.

Speaker 2 The Pickle Witch debuted in October 2024 as an LTO. The first iteration was just two sandwiches, the Vito and the Turkey and Provolo.

Speaker 2 Now they have six sandwiches, plus, quote, the debut of Pickle Ranch, the return of Pickle Jimmy Chips, and the introduction of the ultimate pickle lover's dream, the triple pickle.

Speaker 2 Now, I saw the triple pickle. I was like, we got to get the fucking triple pickle.
Turns out the triple pickle is just a combo that's a pickle witch, pickle chips, and pickle ranch.

Speaker 2 Not particularly exciting. Do you think it was like three pickles stuffed into one? Yeah, there was like a mega pickle.

Speaker 2 Doesn't that sound like it's its own thing?

Speaker 4 If it was some sort of trident-shaped pickle, yeah, that's good thing that you could eat.

Speaker 2 Or like a traduckin' pickle, like a pickle stuffed with two different kinds of pickles. I don't know.

Speaker 4 A big deal with a something else and then a gherkin in something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 That is

Speaker 2 pretty good.

Speaker 4 Oh, I would kill to bite into a triple pickle.

Speaker 2 You could, with the pickles they had, you could put like a

Speaker 2 dill spear in that and then put a gherkin in that too. You could if you wanted, but

Speaker 2 if you wanted to do it, you could do it, Jimmy.

Speaker 2 So I look, I'm a defender of Jimmy John's The Chain. I think those sandwiches and the man.
I think the sandwiches are pretty good.

Speaker 2 I like a Jimmy John's. It's not my favorite, but if the Jimmy Johns is an option, like I'm, I'll, I'll give my, I feel like I can have a satisfying lunch.

Speaker 2 Who's the bigger piece of shit, Jimmy Jimmy John or Papa John? Or are they both pretty close? I mean, it's like, you know,

Speaker 2 they're both pieces of shit. Yeah, it's like, you know, we're talking about both guys who are just like a huge right-wing donors.
And it's just like, what's the

Speaker 2 big game hunter or the racist bother you more? You know, it just depends. They're both kind of bad.
You know, one

Speaker 4 might affect me more.

Speaker 2 But honestly, it could go either way.

Speaker 4 Jimmy John sees me walking,

Speaker 2 lines up the shot.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I don't know. Like, if we did the biggest pieces of shit

Speaker 2 in fast food, Jimmy John would be up there. That would have a fun thing for us to do at some point.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we could go through all of them because there's a lot of them. There's a lot of bad guys.
There's a lot of bad men involved.

Speaker 4 You should do a naughty list and a nice list.

Speaker 2 I like that. That would be fun.
That's such a good idea. It's a really good idea.
All right, relax.

Speaker 2 The fuck?

Speaker 2 We got the ham pickle witch, the tuna pickle witch, the veto pickle witch, the pickle witch, the roast beef pickle witch, the turkey pickle witch, and the veggie pickle witch.

Speaker 2 So all of these are just different combinations of ingredients sandwiched between one bisected,

Speaker 2 cut long ways down the middle Jimmy pickle. And so I was expecting it.
So it's like cut in half.

Speaker 2 They stuff all the proteins in the middle and they cut it in half again to make it be like a proper sandwich.

Speaker 2 I was expecting it to be either a little bit more substantial, yeah, like it because it is just the size of a pickle, but you're paying the same price,

Speaker 2 a big pickle, but it's the size of a pickle, but you're paying the same price as a Jimmy John sandwich. It feels like you're getting substantially less.

Speaker 2 I could be wrong, it could be the same amount of product, but it feels like less.

Speaker 4 The picture makes it look like a huge pickle, yes, like a forced perspective version of Mitch's peanut, right?

Speaker 4 But then when you see it in real life, it's much closer to an actual life-size version of Mitch's peanut.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 2 Being way too generous.

Speaker 2 They're still pretty big.

Speaker 2 Yeah, they're pretty big, but I agree.

Speaker 4 You want it to be... It's not even the biggest pickle I've ever seen.
No. And you would imagine.

Speaker 2 I was hoping for some of the biggest pickles I've ever seen. I would have loved to have seen some of the biggest pickles we've ever seen.

Speaker 4 And can I just say, it's called a Jimmy pickle?

Speaker 2 Jimmy pickle.

Speaker 4 Doesn't Pickle John sound better?

Speaker 2 I agree. Pickle John's is a bigger one.

Speaker 4 Pickle John is so much better.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I agree.

Speaker 1 I think it's because they do Jimmy Chips, Jimmy, like Jimmy Blank is like their branding thing.

Speaker 4 Well, you got to be nimble, Jimmy, or John. What is this fucking guy's name?

Speaker 2 Jimmy John. It's both.
Jimmy John Leotap.

Speaker 2 He is an asshole. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I don't like Jimmy Johns. I've said this before.
And then I think we've gotten it. Like, maybe the last time we got it, I was like, okay, this wasn't that bad, but I it's I like it.

Speaker 4 I think it's maybe the third time I've had it. Wow.

Speaker 2 Like Jimmy John's? Yeah, I like Jimmy John's.

Speaker 2 I feel like, Emma, do you have some fondness for Jimmy Johns?

Speaker 1 We ate it a lot during COVID when we were in Illinois because they're all over the place. And it's like a very, it's a very simple sandwich in my mind.

Speaker 1 Like it's, it's not far off from what I could make at home. Like it feels almost like a homemade sandwich.
Whereas like a Jersey Mike's, they like load it with meat and other things.

Speaker 1 Jimmy John's is always very like simple and plain in a good way. No, I don't mean that in a bad way.

Speaker 2 Yeah, no, it's a simple streamlined experience. I think it's like a font, like it's, it's not going to be my first choice, but I think it's a pretty good option.

Speaker 1 It's not like, I don't think I'm, I'm not getting Jimmy John's as an indulgence. It's like a, I need lunch.

Speaker 2 Yeah, right, exactly. I could even go Subway over Jimmy Johns.
Oh, I would 100% do Jimmy Johns over Subway anytime.

Speaker 4 Their whole thing was delivery. They like innovated the delivery game.
Wasn't that Jimmy? Yes. Jimmy Johnson.

Speaker 2 It was like.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Was that their tagline? It was like an ad thing, yeah.

Speaker 2 I told you, they opened in Ithaca when I was there, and it was a big moment in Ithaca.

Speaker 2 You know, a lot of people, and I was very excited. People were like, oh, Jimmy Johns.
And I got the Italian sandwich and wasn't that impressed by it. I never really cared.

Speaker 2 But back then, like, the big thing was putting the hot peppers on it too, which I don't know if they still do or not. I don't, I have no idea.

Speaker 4 Was that an option on the pickle on the pickle witches?

Speaker 2 I didn't order, but I, I, like, I think we just kind of got them as pickle. Yeah.
Which would have been pickle on pickle too, because they're pickled, uh, pickled peppers.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Now, I know we're talking about Jimmy John's, but I have to take this opportunity to tell you guys, do you know that I have a custom Jersey Mics apron?

Speaker 2 Wow. Wow.

Speaker 4 Because my brother-in-law runs Jersey Mics and got me and my wife, Annabella, aprons that say our names on them. Oh my god.

Speaker 2 Runs Jersey Mics. What do you mean?

Speaker 4 No, he like runs a couple Jersey Microneses.

Speaker 2 Runs a couple Jersey Mics. A couple franchises.
Got it, got it. Yeah.
That's amazing. Yeah, we got it.
That's fucking huge.

Speaker 4 We got

Speaker 4 Jersey Mike's aprons that say Zach and Annabella on them.

Speaker 2 That's fucking awesome. He's in hers.
Wow. Yeah.
That's fucking cool as hell.

Speaker 4 Jimmy John never did that shit for me.

Speaker 2 And he probably never would. He's a piece of shit.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 That is,

Speaker 2 he's just cooler than us in a lot of ways. Zach? Jimmy John? Yeah, I guess in every book.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I did think you meant Jimmy John for a second.

Speaker 2 I mean, again, he's more successful, got more money. Jimmy John, or

Speaker 2 all of this could apply to Jimmy John or Zach. We have to be more specific.
Sure.

Speaker 4 He's got more

Speaker 2 kills. All right.
That's specifically, hopefully, Jimmy John. Yeah, I'm at zero.

Speaker 2 And I also am not sure.

Speaker 4 Does human count as big game?

Speaker 2 The most dangerous game of all, some would say.

Speaker 2 So here's what I'll say:

Speaker 2 The veggie pickle, which, which is just provolone and avocado spread, lettuce, tomato, and cucumber, and a whole sliced pickle, I thought was disgusting. That was the one I flat out hate.

Speaker 4 Wait, sorry, which one?

Speaker 2 The veggie.

Speaker 4 Oh, I refused to eat that one because this was my big debut meat episode.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we can't be having you taste a veggie sandwich.

Speaker 4 So I said, no.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And you know what? You were right, too.
It was gross.

Speaker 4 It looked bad.

Speaker 2 The avocado spread with all the other wet vegetable ingredients just made it like a mushy mess. I thought it was pretty insubstantial and just like,

Speaker 2 I didn't mind these overall,

Speaker 2 but that one in particular, I was like, I don't want another bite of this.

Speaker 2 I'm going to go out here and just say this right off the top. I thought all these were bad.
Wow. I did not like them.

Speaker 2 They're wet. First of all, they're very wet.
They're very wet. They're extremely wet.
They're in a pickle. Yeah.
Yeah. And it just doesn't, and I like pickles.
The pickle doesn't even taste that good.

Speaker 2 It's not like it's like a, like, I need a vinegary taste. It's a fine pickle.
It's a fine pickle. It's a fine.

Speaker 2 I'd say fine is almost being generous. It's like, whatever, base level pickle.

Speaker 4 It was crisp.

Speaker 2 It was crisp. It was quite crisp.
Okay, that's pickle. That's fair.
And for a big pickle, that's good. It's crisp.
But here's the other thing.

Speaker 2 Your innards are sliding out when you're biting into this sandwich. It's not easy to eat.
It's not easy to eat. Yes,

Speaker 2 you might get one or two good bites there, but then all the components are slip sliding around. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I did not enjoy that experience. Right.
Yeah. And I think that things that made it better, the ranch, pouring ranch on it, helped.
So the pickle ranch was,

Speaker 2 I mean, like it was there. It was additive, I would say, if I dipped it in pickle ranch.
I don't think it needed it, but I, but I mean, it didn't hurt.

Speaker 2 The pickle, we should say the pickle ranch does not taste particularly pickly.

Speaker 2 Now, our palate may have been poisoned by too much pickle at that point, but it was, I will say, even when I was, I cleared a little bit and I just tasted it in isolation without any other pickle components, It was pretty ranch-like with maybe like a little bit of extra vinegar, some extra dill.

Speaker 2 Maybe it was. Maybe it could have just been ranch.
It was pretty, it was pretty close to regular ranch.

Speaker 4 Subtle flavor.

Speaker 2 Very subtle.

Speaker 4 It didn't hit you in the face with the pickle or with the ranch.

Speaker 2 Right. Yeah.
But I did, it did, it helped the pickle witches, I will say. Yeah.
I mean, like, I thought it was, but also I thought they were,

Speaker 2 let's talk about the ones that actually had meat in them. So, Zach, we, we, you know, we had the turkey, the roast beef, the Vito, which is a somali capacolo and provolone, the tuna and the ham.

Speaker 2 Were any of those working for you more than others?

Speaker 4 Yes. So the first one I tried was the tuna.
Yeah. And I went in with dirt low expectations.
I thought they looked disgusting.

Speaker 2 They did look gross.

Speaker 4 I thought the idea of it is bad.

Speaker 4 And then I took a bite of the tuna and I was like, this is actually pretty good. The tuna worked for me.
The tuna, I was like, I would have eaten more of that.

Speaker 4 Not because it was good as a sandwich form.

Speaker 4 It would have been much better better as just like tuna salad with chopped up pickle in it sure but the pickle and the tuna and the that worked for me and then the maybe the wettest of all the sandwiches by the way it was very wet but it felt like the most coherent pairing to me i agree i did like the tuna one and i had a tuna sandwich for lunch i had a picnic tuna sandwich like i mentioned over at hillstone picnic a picnic yeah

Speaker 2 Nick picked the picnic. And I could be, it could be a, it could be a swerve from Burger Boy, picnic.

Speaker 2 Picnic Picnic could be a fun, yeah, it could be a nice little alt name.

Speaker 4 Why not? If you ever do an outdoor episode,

Speaker 2 picnic. Yeah.
Okay, all right.

Speaker 2 We're

Speaker 2 at it to the stable. We've never done, we've never done, oh, we have, we did one outdoor episode, didn't we? Weren't we at some

Speaker 2 with that weird festival we were outside? Yes, yeah. But we've never done like a full outdoor episode.
That would be fun.

Speaker 4 Picnic double?

Speaker 2 Picnic double could be fun. Picnic double.
And I am picnic.

Speaker 2 Just throwing it out there. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm writing it down.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 2 All right, it's in.

Speaker 4 It didn't get as big of a pop as my naughty and nice look.

Speaker 2 It got a, I'm writing it down, which is

Speaker 2 sort of trying to call my shot and wait for Amelia to really react. I think we got to figure out the logistics of it, but that feels like a doable thing.

Speaker 2 Why does everyone think Amelia runs the show? She's insane.

Speaker 2 She's insane.

Speaker 2 Emma runs the show. Careful.

Speaker 2 The tuna, I agree, I thought worked. And I do like Jimmy John's tuna.
I think it's a good tuna salad. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Mitch, you didn't like that. I didn't give it a fucking fuck.
I don't know. I thought it sucked.

Speaker 2 It was bad. They were all bad.

Speaker 4 The Italian combo one, what was that called?

Speaker 2 The Vito.

Speaker 4 The Vito.

Speaker 2 Did a kid named Vito ever trick you into eating shit or anything?

Speaker 4 That one was the second best to me.

Speaker 2 Yeah. The Vito was my favorite.

Speaker 2 Well, because it had a lot of salt, which I, you know, it's just like, and I know that the pickle is salty salty in and of itself but it just like it felt like it really cut through versus all the wet ingredients i was i was cutting slices off the sandwiches and just eating kind of a little strip and so the veto felt like uh you know like an antipast like sure felt just like some rolled up meats and cheeses and you just eat a pickle with it so that also felt like it worked yeah And I'm generally not eating pork, but this is one of those things where we were like sharing everything.

Speaker 2 And so a lot of this was going to end up in the trash anyway. So I just, I just had bites of everything.
I had bites of the ham as well, which was just like a less successful version of the Vito.

Speaker 2 The Vito just being stuffed with more different kinds of proteins. Ham was maybe my bottom.
Oh, Veggie was my bottom.

Speaker 4 But the roast beef was also kind of a successful.

Speaker 2 Roast beef was kind of inert. Yeah, I would have thought the roast beef would have played a little bit better, but it didn't really add much to it.
And I thought the turkey worked, you know?

Speaker 2 Turkey and Provolone. Sure.
Turkey was okay. But all of these, I think the main thing I kind of felt as I was going through all these is like, they're all kind of the same.

Speaker 2 They all taste the same because they're so dominated by the pickle bun that, you know, like like the the the protein is almost like inconsequential. Now, Zach.

Speaker 2 You've just boasted out the Jimmy chips, which are pickle flavored. This is another part of the LTL.

Speaker 2 And these are really good. I did really like these dill pickle potato chips.
Yeah, they're good.

Speaker 4 They've got a strong pickle flavor.

Speaker 2 Really strong pickle flavor. They actually also worked dipping them in ranch, although they did not need it.
The pickle ranch.

Speaker 2 I liked Jimmy's pickle chips. The pickle pickle chips were great.
I legitimately really liked them. You had some pickle chips you had the Deus, right? Yeah, they were great.

Speaker 1 I actually put some into my Mini John sandwich, and it was a perfect in-sandwich chip.

Speaker 2 And you got yourself a conventional sandwich.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was a mini, called Little John's.

Speaker 2 Little John. Little John's

Speaker 2 turkey and cheese. I'm sure you enjoyed much more than our pickle wish.
It was great. For sure.

Speaker 2 So they

Speaker 2 went to Little John's and did this. They were not small.
They were not that small.

Speaker 2 They were not. I saw them.
They were like this big.

Speaker 2 Your size is right.

Speaker 1 Have they never done a Lil John collab with Lil John?

Speaker 2 I was gonna say, pretty good.

Speaker 4 They're out here trademarking Picklewitch and then they're stealing Lil John's dude.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 4 disgusting.

Speaker 2 Yeah, okay.

Speaker 2 Pretty good. That was good.

Speaker 2 Fuck. Wait, Mitch.
What?

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Fuck.

Speaker 2 Fuck this show, Wages. I've lost it.

Speaker 2 You're doing great. I lost it.

Speaker 2 In fact, when you said okay, I was saying in my head, yeah.

Speaker 2 Hold on, Weiger. What?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 We're just doing a very bad version of a Chappelle show sketch from 2000. 20 years ago.

Speaker 2 Oh, so your yeah has freaked me out.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 It sounds very strange.

Speaker 2 Wages,

Speaker 2 look, I thought all these suck.

Speaker 2 I suck. The sandwiches suck.
It's just a suck all-around day. I'm sorry, Zach.

Speaker 4 The sandwiches weren't that good, but when Amelia picked it up, she mentioned that she took a peek back in the kitchen and

Speaker 4 she saw, I mean, I'll just say it.

Speaker 2 She saw Pickle Rick back there making the sandwiches.

Speaker 2 That is crazy. Yeah.

Speaker 4 And I guess it's because he has experience with pickles. Right.

Speaker 4 Because he is a pickle or something, but they like need him.

Speaker 2 No, that makes a lot of sense that he would be back there. Amelia also told me

Speaker 2 she looked back there and saw Pickle Morty.

Speaker 4 Yeah, and that's from an unreleased episode.

Speaker 2 It's interesting because it's not a canonical character.

Speaker 2 I didn't know. No, but that's that's cool.

Speaker 4 They must have been doing R D back there for the next episode or something.

Speaker 2 There's no other famous pickles, are there? I actually saw, I was actually in the kitchen. The classic stork or some shit.
I was in the kitchen, and back there I saw

Speaker 2 Pickle, one of the protagonists of Pickle and Peanut. That's right.

Speaker 2 Are you reading that? Pickle is a gentle and simple-minded 18-year-old who does not have a care in the world. This is from the show Pickle and Peanut.
And you know what?

Speaker 4 And the video games.

Speaker 2 Did you search Famous Pickle? Disney XD Hero Trip.

Speaker 4 So there you go. Do you know what's crazy?

Speaker 4 Because he was there, but

Speaker 4 I had Burgers Never Say Die earlier, and it made me want to have five guys.

Speaker 4 And so I went into five guys

Speaker 4 and I went in the back. And guess who was there in the back of five guys?

Speaker 2 Peanut.

Speaker 4 From pickle and peanut.

Speaker 2 Oh, peanut from pickle and peanut was back there because they use peanut oil for their fries and then they have peanut shells on the floor.

Speaker 2 Yeah. That makes a lot of sense.
I searched famous pickles

Speaker 2 and it's all just actual pickles.

Speaker 2 I couldn't find a fake famous pickle.

Speaker 2 Oh, wait, I got one.

Speaker 2 Tommy Pickles. Who cares? Let's keep it alone.
You didn't have to bail on it.

Speaker 2 I bailed on it. It was the best one.

Speaker 2 That was the best example.

Speaker 2 Here's a fun idea: Tommy Pickles versus Stewie. Whoa.
Baby versus baby. I think Stewie would clobber him.
I mean, yeah.

Speaker 4 Stewie would kill it. Would kill him.

Speaker 2 Stewie has like weapons.

Speaker 4 Stewie would actually kill him.

Speaker 2 You think Stewie would kill him? Tommy always kind of gets into, you know, he gets out of Tommy's like pretty much a regular baby.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Right?

Speaker 4 I never watched Rugrats.

Speaker 2 Look. Tommy and Dill.

Speaker 1 There's an issue here.

Speaker 2 Whoa, Dill Pickle. Tommy and Dill pickle.

Speaker 1 Aren't they, brothers?

Speaker 2 Do you need to? Is this

Speaker 2 a bathroom situation? I got a brown pickle brewing.

Speaker 2 Bathroom breakdown. I think we might have to do a bathroom breakdown.
Okay, great.

Speaker 2 I gotta go jar something in there.

Speaker 4 Let us know if it's a pickle Jimmy or a Gherkin.

Speaker 2 We'll be back with more doughboys.

Speaker 2 The diarrhea break.

Speaker 2 All right, we're back. Mitch, what's the verdict? I went, not a really successful one, more like a gherkin.
Oh, okay. A little bit more like a gherkin.

Speaker 2 I played thriller because I guess I was listening to thriller. Did you hear it? We heard it.
We were like, is he listening to Thriller?

Speaker 2 We all took a second to listen really closely to the music you were playing off of your phone.

Speaker 2 I'm glad that you guys listened really closely.

Speaker 2 It was Michael Jackson's thriller.

Speaker 4 And then we heard it go right into Not Like Us.

Speaker 2 Not Like Us did play afterwards. You know what happens when my log came out? I went, hee hee.

Speaker 2 God.

Speaker 1 Do you always do that or only what Michael Jackson's thriller?

Speaker 2 Oh, it happens all the time.

Speaker 2 Yeah, Not Like Us came on afterwards.

Speaker 2 Not a true successful.

Speaker 2 I'm sorry about it. But you really, it felt like you really had to go is the thing.
I would have expected that would be.

Speaker 2 I know. That's what I thought, too.
And that was kind of sad to

Speaker 2 not even like the pickle we ate earlier. That's what I was thinking.

Speaker 4 Did you fart a lot?

Speaker 2 There was a fart in the very beginning, and I didn't want anyone. Did you? No.

Speaker 4 We heard it, and we got it on mic.

Speaker 2 You're holding a mic up to the door? I know the headgun bathrooms are mics now.

Speaker 2 I mean, who cares, I guess, at this point, right? We We might as well do it.

Speaker 2 And then Zach almost went into the bathroom to go to use the restroom after me, and I said, please use the front lawn. I did not want it.

Speaker 4 Mitch, maybe go in the other one, which Weiger had just pissed in. And let's just say,

Speaker 2 Ews thinking.

Speaker 4 I couldn't tell if it was Weiger's piss or if it was some stray wafts from Mitch, but

Speaker 2 mine was not wafting.

Speaker 2 There was no wafting. I just took a straight piss.
I wouldn't have dumped anything else in there.

Speaker 4 Well, I don't know what you've been eating, buddy, but

Speaker 2 pickle brine.

Speaker 2 That was a, yeah, that was a... I'm glad it.
Well, I'm glad you were able to at least do something. I feel a little bit better.
Feel a little bit better. Yeah.
A little bit of relief.

Speaker 4 Sometimes just getting that fart out is, you know.

Speaker 2 That's a great point. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Yep.
That's always for me when I first.

Speaker 2 You guys don't talk about farts enough. We actually don't.
We talk about calm a lot.

Speaker 4 Yeah, sure.

Speaker 2 We don't talk about farts that often. Sometimes you really.
I think we're maybe more embarrassed by farts than we are by calm.

Speaker 2 Well, yeah, I mean, I think from a body shame standpoint, it's like a little, you have a little bit more control over where you're going to come, I guess, in general. A little.
Only a little, though.

Speaker 2 What's your fart to come ratio?

Speaker 2 Honestly, around now.

Speaker 4 That is the first question I ask on a date.

Speaker 2 Right now, my fart to come ratio is probably like

Speaker 2 3,000 to 1. 3,000 to 1.
Fart to come. Sure.
That's fine. Yeah, I mean,

Speaker 2 you're certainly farting.

Speaker 2 I'm farting multiple times a day,

Speaker 2 which I certainly can't say I'm doing that, you know, for

Speaker 2 I'm just not coming that often. Sure.
Yeah. How often are you doing it at the same time? I've never.

Speaker 2 Has it never happened once? No, I've never had that happen. I'm sure it's happened to some people by accident.
Also, I'm sure some freaks are into that shit. Oh, yeah.
Which is fine.

Speaker 2 You feel like

Speaker 2 if you're into farts, that's fine. We're not going to kink shame you.
It is funny if you're having sex and you're like, I think I'm going to.

Speaker 2 You farted at that moment? That's like a classic porno blooper, I feel like. Oh, is it really? I mean, I think that's what you'd like, you'd see if you're watching a porno blooper reel.

Speaker 2 Okay, all right. Yeah, hypothetically.
Hypothetically.

Speaker 2 Watching a porno blooper reel? Those exist.

Speaker 2 I believe you that they exist.

Speaker 2 You can find porno bloopers out there. I'm sure you can find porno bloopers.
I worked on the setup of porno once. You know this.
Oh, right. For what's going on.

Speaker 2 You were the guy who was there to fart, right?

Speaker 2 For the blooper reel.

Speaker 2 I brought in a professional.

Speaker 4 What's going on?

Speaker 2 This was your talk show that you hosted solo, and you were surprised, like, you were blindfolded, brought to a porno.

Speaker 2 I think I guessed that I was brought to the set of the new X-Men movie, and it was a porno instead.

Speaker 4 Yeah, not quite the same.

Speaker 2 Not quite the same thing. I took my mask off, and there was an erect dick in front of me.
Some may say problematic in the year 2025, but

Speaker 2 the the year 2010 or whatever,

Speaker 2 it was all great. It was all good.
It was a different time.

Speaker 2 It was a different time. 2010.
A different time.

Speaker 2 And it was also, I mean, it was a very funny bit that they did. It's also your own erect dick.

Speaker 4 How did it get into your face?

Speaker 2 It was a series of mirrors.

Speaker 2 Back to your point. Sometimes it does feel good just to fart.
And I will say there is something about just being on that, like having that toilet bowl and like obviously acoustically.

Speaker 2 It's a toilet bowl echo? Acoustically, it's a nightmare. But what's nice is that you kind of got your, your, you know, your hole exposed.
You got your cheeks spread a little bit.

Speaker 2 You can really just get to get the sandblasting as much as you need to. Jesus.

Speaker 4 And then you're not like, you're not. Moistening your pants with the hot air.

Speaker 5 Exactly.

Speaker 2 You don't have to worry about that. That is.
You don't have to worry about

Speaker 2 like a shart situation, you know, any sort of moisture, any sort of liquid. Don't you think that the creators of toilets could have done something to like stop the echo as much?

Speaker 2 I don't understand why they're just they're like that. Like, I feel like they could be muted a little bit.
I don't know why there'sn't like a liner for a toilet that, like, all

Speaker 2 suction, or a little sort of suction or something.

Speaker 4 I'm not concerned with that.

Speaker 2 No, it doesn't bother you.

Speaker 4 I say,

Speaker 4 let them hear

Speaker 2 Marie Antoinette.

Speaker 4 What did she? She said, Let them eat cake.

Speaker 4 I say, let them hear farts.

Speaker 2 I, I, sure,

Speaker 2 I, I agree agree with it in a way, but if you're what if someone you have a new you're just meeting someone and there's

Speaker 2 uh you know if you if I had for whatever reason there was a woman at my house yes yeah and then I like I'm going I'm going to the basement and and what's nice is that you have the luxury of like you have a little bit of space you have a little bit you know like if you imagine you're living in one bedroom

Speaker 2 stairs this is the reason why right you could put a you could put a silencer on that thing grab some toilet paper and press it up while you fart that is a great that is a great point That is horrifying.

Speaker 2 I don't care if that can't work. Well, time for another bathroom right now.

Speaker 2 Everyone put their ear to the door and everyone write down whether they think I farted or not.

Speaker 2 I think that would work.

Speaker 4 If you press toilet paper up to the hole and fart into it.

Speaker 2 I've like spread my cheeks to make it not sound like a fart.

Speaker 4 It's like a pillow silent.

Speaker 2 You know, it's like putting a pillow in the. Oh, yeah, the hitman.
Yeah. It's really fuck.
That's so cool. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, that is cool.
It's awesome. Yeah,

Speaker 4 you're in your enemy's hospital room as they're on their deathbed, pillow on their face.

Speaker 2 Look, I think both of us are embarrassed by. I have a set.
I mean, like, for me, I have a semi-traumatic

Speaker 2 association because when I was staying over at a friend's house, I was sleeping over at a friend's house, and I had to shit. And I went into the bathroom.

Speaker 2 And i had like like a big bowl of cereal or something i just like a whole bunch of milk and like at the time i did not know the did not get the understand the connection to of dairy to intestinal distress because i was just like used to having like milk every day anyway so um i i had shit i went in the bathroom and i was just blasting like farts like just super loud farts and they were kind of like like like chopping out of my ass like one out of the after the other and then i heard a kid outside say like uh wiggers having helicopter farts

Speaker 2 so i was like, I was all worried. I was like, self-conscious about having to shit at this kid's house.

Speaker 2 And then I'm shitting in there, and they could hear me shitting loudly enough that they want to comment on it.

Speaker 4 I'm sorry. Yeah, I know.

Speaker 2 And so, I just imagine that happening every time I'm in there now.

Speaker 2 I gotta do that. It's embarrassing.
You're a fucking helicopter farts.

Speaker 2 I was, I've told this story before, but I was at seventh grade camp, Camp Wing, with my school, and I had a shit so bad. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 the stalls had no doors on them. That's not great.
at all. And we were there for two days and I didn't shit for two days.

Speaker 2 And then I remember I was in like the theater part, like there was like a theater performance and it was like little vignettes. And

Speaker 2 you have heard this. And it was like, I did this thing, like the leader of the pack.
And I had like a, I had like a monster mask on. And then I, like, I went out and I was like,

Speaker 2 and I did this. And like, everyone was like laughing.
And then when I was done with that, I looked at my shorts and there was a brown shit stain through my shorts.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I had like the, I I had, I had like saved in shit, and then I just like basically was close to shitting my pants, but there was, yeah, it had gone through my underwear.

Speaker 2 A1 had gone through my underwear through my shorts. I don't know.
Through the exterior of your shorts. Through the exterior of my shorts.

Speaker 2 I mean, it's a pretty a guy with a monster mask dancing around a leader of the pack. And he shit his pants is pretty good.

Speaker 2 Michael Buffer in a cab. Check him out.

Speaker 2 Driving by Camp Wayne.

Speaker 2 I was the leader of the pack. I just had shit in my pants.
Oh, man. Sucked.
There was no like shit. It just was like, I think my, my ass, I like, it was like, I had to go to the bathroom so bad.

Speaker 2 Yeah, sure. But I was so not like a guy.
But and we were there for two days. It's fucking horrible.
Yeah, it was awful. Yeah.

Speaker 4 That's so good.

Speaker 2 A true nightmare.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that is like a literally a nightmare.

Speaker 2 And then never wanted, my mom worked at my high school, so I was able to, she gave me a key to the first floor bathroom, bathroom, and I went in there a lot of the time, and

Speaker 2 I could sneak away if I needed to, but I also never want to go. And all three of them never took shits in high school.
That's true. I did school.
That's true. All three.

Speaker 2 All like K through 12, I didn't have, didn't drop one deuce at school the entire time.

Speaker 4 None of you did.

Speaker 4 You had a private bathroom.

Speaker 2 Not once. I mean, I had a key to the first floor bathroom that my mom gave me that was, people still did use it.

Speaker 2 No, I would say I would save it till after school, or I would shit before I went to school.

Speaker 4 I've shed thousands of times in high school.

Speaker 2 At school. Wow.
Yeah. Wow.

Speaker 2 I had too much shame. And I also was just like, I'd regulated my bowels to where I wasn't doing that.

Speaker 4 I had no, no issues firing one off.

Speaker 2 Wow. That's, that is, that's comfortable.
Yeah, you know what? That's admirable. Cause

Speaker 2 the truth is we worry so much. We're so self-conscious about our bodies, but most people are not really paying attention to what you're doing.

Speaker 2 And so, you know, you can just sort of kind of live your own life and prioritize your own comfort. This does remind me of a story from high school where

Speaker 2 I just remember this for the first time in a long time. It has nothing to do with shit, but it's a high school bathroom story where one of my friends was in the bathroom and always told us that.

Speaker 4 One of the teachers was in there and peed at the urnal and then walked over to the trash can with his dick still out and tapped his dick on the top of the trash can

Speaker 2 to shake the piss off his dick.

Speaker 2 And we were all like, really?

Speaker 4 And he was like, yes, I swear to God.

Speaker 2 That's insane. That's insane.
That sounds like such a kid lie.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it does. But then also, it sounds like something insane a psycho teacher would do.

Speaker 2 Was, did you know this teacher's reputation at all?

Speaker 4 He was an odd bird.

Speaker 2 He was an odd bird. So that's the kind of thing they might have done.
Wow.

Speaker 2 That is insane, though. That's also disgusting.
You're going to tap the top of a fucking trash can? You're going to get trash germs on your fucking glands?

Speaker 2 What the fuck are you doing?

Speaker 2 Trash germs, too.

Speaker 1 Like, the bats are full of trash in a high school has got to be full of weird trash.

Speaker 4 And if I remember correctly, it was those white metal trash cans with the triangle lid that you had to, you know, that like swung open.

Speaker 1 Did you think he opened the door to tap it off, or did he just

Speaker 2 rattle with that bad boy?

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 2 He was using like a speed bag.

Speaker 2 Yeah, kind of keep the rhythm going.

Speaker 2 I ain't sucking that.

Speaker 2 No way.

Speaker 2 I say that to him as he's doing it.

Speaker 2 Just ask that question before a hookup. I just want, I'd have him to know, did you tap your dick on the top of a trash can to shake off some piss?

Speaker 4 That's a hard question to answer because it could go either way.

Speaker 2 It could go either way.

Speaker 4 It might be someone who wants to make sure you did tap your dick on your trash can. And it might be someone like Mitch.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I want to make sure you don't have any piss in there.
I don't care if you got some trash jerks.

Speaker 2 I don't want any piss in my mouth.

Speaker 4 No first base for you, right?

Speaker 2 That's insane. Yeah.
Wow.

Speaker 2 that's good yeah i got yelled at i wasn't post i wasn't supposed to be in the first floor bathroom and i remember like like a kid yelling at me that i was in there while i was taking a so that was kind of nightmarish i i i didn't like going i i i wasn't proud like i i hated having to go to the bathroom there it was it was the worst and then i got like uh

Speaker 2 you notice i like had i got like stomach issues because i wasn't going to the bathroom yeah that'll that'll mess you up and you do too so it's this explains it and you have ibs oh i shouldn't have outed you i'm sorry i don't i've said i've said that before okay yeah yeah yeah.

Speaker 2 And I have no idea. That's a problem.

Speaker 1 I was like chronically constipated as a kid.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so all four of us.

Speaker 2 And you know what? Jemmy's shitting fine.

Speaker 1 God bless her. She had two huge shits this morning.
She's feeling good. Wow.

Speaker 2 Congrats. Good girl.
Wonderful.

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Speaker 2 Fly better.

Speaker 2 Back to pickles. Yeah, we should get to our fork scores.
So, Zach, you've done the podcast before. We'll each go around.

Speaker 2 We'll give our closing argument on the Jimmy Johns pickle witch and give it a score from zero to five. Pickles? Is that crazy?

Speaker 4 I like it.

Speaker 2 Okay, we'll start with you, Zach. I was taking a pill.

Speaker 2 Oh, I was taking one of my pills. Chlamydia.

Speaker 2 This is not a chlamydia pill.

Speaker 4 What happened in the back? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Let's just say, yeah, I tapped my dick on the wrong trash can.

Speaker 2 Koala pokes his head out.

Speaker 2 You thought it was a trash can? It was a koala's mouth.

Speaker 2 It was my finasteride, monoxidil, and sialis pill all in one, if you have to know.

Speaker 4 I'm fascinated by your choice of pill timing. Yeah, I don't.
I'm a man who takes quite a few pills.

Speaker 2 I'm not come all out in the morning. Yeah, I just kind of get all the pills.
Do you do them all at once? I'm afraid of interactions.

Speaker 2 I try to give a staggered start in a way.

Speaker 4 I don't think that's how it works.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I just kind of do them in the morning. You do all of them? Yeah.
A bunch of meds all at once? One at a time. Bing, bing, bing.
Really? Yeah. That way I don't know how to forget about them.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, two of my supplements I take three times a day so that I have to space out. But in the morning, I'm stacking them.

Speaker 2 I have my trusty pill bag. What's your last pill you got in there? Do you want to? That's an Adderall, but I don't need it.
So I'm not taking it today. Got it.

Speaker 2 I've only taken Adderall like five times since I've had it. Everyone was talking about how I took Adderall and wasn't getting sleep.
You're wrong. It doesn't matter, but you're wrong.

Speaker 1 We got to get you one of those like pill organizers.

Speaker 2 This is what Zach was saying before I had.

Speaker 4 They have like single day ones. You just like, it's like a little pouch.

Speaker 2 It looks like a little coin purse, basically. I wish I had shown the bag before the start because it does look like a day or bag.
It looks like a bag of bad drugs.

Speaker 2 And And now it just has the last Adderall in there, and that's it. That's all.
And I'm done for the day. Except I got to take

Speaker 2 one last doxycycline for my red nose.

Speaker 2 This is one of my favorite little things. I've got my little pill container.
It's a little zip on.

Speaker 2 And then it has a nice, it says on top, on the, I really like what it says on it, is keep it together. That's fun.
Nice little. Wouldn't you like that? That is nice.

Speaker 2 That's a nice little mental health thing.

Speaker 4 I think it would be really nice, Nick, if you gifted that exact one to me right now.

Speaker 2 If I could track down another one of these and give you pills in there, you got one left pill

Speaker 2 rattling around in there. I can hear it.
I just get a handful of pills, yeah. Cyanide.

Speaker 2 I need something besides the pill bag. We'll work on it.
We'll figure something. It's nice.

Speaker 1 You fill it out like once a week, and then the rest of the week you don't have to think about it. You just grab the day and you're like, here I go.

Speaker 2 I should do that. Also, Red Nose, Red Nose Day, you worked on it at one point.
I, I, uh, Mitch, thank you for bringing that up. I was very ashamed.
I wore a band-aid on my nose.

Speaker 2 Zach saw me with a band-aid on my nose on Saturday. I was very.

Speaker 4 I didn't even notice it at first.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I saw you too. The first thing Mitch said was, I got a nose job.

Speaker 2 I was making a little joke here and there. And then I was saying that I was going as

Speaker 2 Jake from

Speaker 2 State Farm.

Speaker 2 Jake from

Speaker 2 Before you can even go there. I'm getting it out of the air.
I went as Jake from

Speaker 4 there are a few different Jakes.

Speaker 2 From Chinatown.

Speaker 2 He cuts his nose. That's what I was saying.
For some reason, I could pull the two Jakes. I needed to do that.
Yeah,

Speaker 2 someone made that exact joke. Is it Jake from the two Jakes?

Speaker 2 And a dark man. I was trying to go for a few different things.
But

Speaker 2 my nose was very red.

Speaker 2 And it had

Speaker 2 a really bad Rudolph. Rudolph.

Speaker 2 I know. I know.
It was bad. It looked really bad.
Did I show you how bad it was? Yes. Yeah, it was really

Speaker 2 burnt.

Speaker 1 I know. It looks so much better than even Saturday.

Speaker 2 Yes. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Two days ago. It's impressive.
What were we up to on Saturday?

Speaker 2 None of your business. Everyone's hanging out on Saturday?

Speaker 2 We watched some horror movies together on Saturday. That was fun.
The horror movie marathon. We watched some horror movies.
How about that?

Speaker 2 It was good. Yeah.
And then

Speaker 2 everyone else was there? No, I did not watch horror movies. I didn't go.

Speaker 2 It was Moody and

Speaker 2 his girlfriend had a birthday

Speaker 1 Griffith Park hang for her birthday.

Speaker 2 Why was that a secret?

Speaker 1 Hey, I didn't get the invite till like 30 minutes before the party. So I just was doing nothing.
So Jemmy and Mike and I walked over.

Speaker 2 Look. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I don't know why you didn't get invited. I don't know what to say here.
Yeah. It's tough, but you're not as popular as the three of us.

Speaker 2 I'm sure you weren't invited. I bet you actually even you are on a text thread where you didn't see it.
It's possible. It's very possible.

Speaker 1 You miss party fulls a lot.

Speaker 2 That's true. I don't really look at party fulls.

Speaker 4 I i ignore party fools.

Speaker 2 I don't party fools. I don't know.

Speaker 1 I don't have party fools because I don't, party full is a narc. If you look at it and you're not sure yet, it's like tells them that you looked at it and didn't answer.
And I feel like it's rude.

Speaker 2 So I just always say the baby, just in case.

Speaker 1 That's fair. I usually just don't open that.

Speaker 4 If you're inviting me to something via party full, I will never see it or look at it.

Speaker 2 That's well, it's probably what happened, obviously.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Okay.
Or, you know, you didn't get the invite possibly any of the invitation.

Speaker 2 I also have a reputation for not going to things, so I think at a certain point, you're like, stop extending the invite. That is true.

Speaker 4 Yeah, well, you're invited to my birthday party.

Speaker 2 Wow, how fun is that?

Speaker 4 It's in about

Speaker 4 in 11 months and 28 days.

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 4 Saturday actually was my birthday.

Speaker 2 Was it? Happy birthday. Yeah.
Happy day.

Speaker 2 What the hell? Happy birthday.

Speaker 2 What did you do? I watched horror movies with me.

Speaker 4 I'm not a birthday self-elector birthday guy either.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God.

Speaker 4 Seim Wagger, you're first on the list. Oh, I love it.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Wow, okay.

Speaker 4 We'll hang out. Mitch is not invited.

Speaker 2 We'll have a birthday badge.

Speaker 2 We could have a belated bag. That's cool.
I watched your last birthday this last Saturday. It's fine.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I wish we had known. We would have sang you a song.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I didn't tell people for a reason.

Speaker 2 I get that. That's what I do.
I just don't tell people. Incantation, pretty good.
Dangerous animals, pretty good.

Speaker 2 Two good horror movies.

Speaker 2 Zach, your fork score for the pickle, or sorry,

Speaker 2 your pickle score for the pickle witches.

Speaker 4 My pickle score.

Speaker 4 I'm going to do two separate ones. I'm going to do for the pickle witches overall, and I'm going to do for the tuna pickle witch.
Wow. Because to me, that stood out by a significant margin.

Speaker 4 So for the tuna pickle witch, I'm going to give that 3.9 pickle

Speaker 2 pickles.

Speaker 2 3.9 pickles. 3.9 pickles.

Speaker 4 And then for the regular ones, two pickles.

Speaker 2 Two pickles. Wow.
Mitch, your thoughts? You seemed least enthused by this whole. I'm just going to judge them all as one.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And I'm going to go, look,

Speaker 2 Kermit saying it. It ain't easy being green.

Speaker 2 But

Speaker 2 I regularly, really like pickles, Wags.

Speaker 2 I'm a fan of pickles.

Speaker 2 I think the Jimmy John's big pickles.

Speaker 2 don't have enough flavor for me and kind of there it's just that sort of thing of like i want that that vinegary taste with pickles and it just wasn't there for me and i maybe it would be too overwhelming in a sandwich but these sandwich they were wet and the meat was sliding around and honestly

Speaker 2 would i maybe even enjoy a lettuce wrap sandwich more

Speaker 2 possibly that's a good interesting maybe i would like the pickle butch more i don't know i and i don't even like jimmy john's to begin with so that makes me think i wonder if they would be better if they like a scooped out bagel if it was a a thinner, like if they hollowed out the pickle more.

Speaker 2 That might work for that.

Speaker 1 That's what I thought they were going to do when I saw the picture. I was like, they must like take some of the guts out of the pickle and then like put the stuff in the hole.

Speaker 2 Yeah. But no, otherwise it's just all going to split up.

Speaker 2 No, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's too, there's too much going on, and that stuff is sliding around. Sliding around.
And like I said, I love pickles. Yeah.
Pickle Mitch. You can call me that.

Speaker 2 I love them that much. Wow.
But I

Speaker 2 pickle bitch.

Speaker 2 Get his ass.

Speaker 2 God damn it.

Speaker 2 1.5 pickles. 1.5 pickles.

Speaker 4 I had to because Weiger and I are like partying together now.

Speaker 2 Oh, Jesus.

Speaker 2 Well, have fun, you two. Love a great day.
1.5.

Speaker 2 1.5. I'm going lower than you.
Here's the thing.

Speaker 2 The pickle sandwich, the pickle witch, is not particularly exciting. And

Speaker 2 I like the gimmick of it, but in execution, it's pretty insubstantial.

Speaker 2 It's both too small and too big because, like, I don't feel like I'm getting a meal out of it, but I don't really want to eat an entire one because, because each bite is so samey, and also it's just like

Speaker 2 texturally, it's a weird mismatch. It's like too much crisp on the outside.
I think that's a bigger problem. Maybe we relate to the pickle, which

Speaker 2 too small and too big at the same time. I get it.

Speaker 2 I do agree. The tuna one kind of worked the best, though I also think the Vito one worked and a lot of the rest of the ones, they all just kind of blurred together.

Speaker 2 I mean, worked more so than others. Sure, for sure.
But I wasn't enthused about any of these.

Speaker 2 What I was enthused by was the pickle ranch, but more so than that, the pickle jimmy chips, which are legit great. Yeah.
Those are awesome. And if those were just on the menu, I would get those.

Speaker 2 If they just had pickle jimmy chips. I'll give those three and a half pickles.
Those were really good. Those are legit goods.
Almost four pickles. I like those.

Speaker 2 The menu itself,

Speaker 2 I don't know. I guess it delivers on what it's promising, but like this is a thing you get once, right? This is just a thing for the notoriety of it.
This is just a thing purely for marketing.

Speaker 2 And I guess it's working because we did an episode for it. So it's low carbons.

Speaker 2 It's more low carb eaters, I guess, right? Maybe, but I don't know.

Speaker 2 I just, I'm going to land at two pickles for this whole ordeal.

Speaker 4 And now I would like to amend my score from the tuna pickle. Instead of 3.9 pickles, 3 pickles, 9 gherkins.

Speaker 2 That's 3 pickles, 9 gherkins. Let's do this out.
That'll be good.

Speaker 2 All right. That was our review of the Jimmy Johnson Witch menu.

Speaker 2 It wasn't the math is marketing. You gave it 1.5.

Speaker 2 1 pickle, 5 gherkins. There we go.
And I will do 1 pickle, 10 gherkins. Okay.

Speaker 2 That was our review of the Jimmy Johns Pickle Witch menu. It's time for a segment.
I've got a mystery food, and Mitch and Zach must define its identity from a series of clues.

Speaker 2 It's the debut of food in this dude.

Speaker 2 Hit it, Amelia.

Speaker 2 One, two,

Speaker 2 one, two, three, four.

Speaker 1 Food, food in this dude.

Speaker 1 Kind you find in a grocery store.

Speaker 2 Food, food in this dude.

Speaker 2 Breakfast for lunch, or maybe something much more.

Speaker 2 Food, food, and this dude.

Speaker 2 You mustn't come

Speaker 2 over.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 2 A spirited parody of Prince's Raspberry Beret.

Speaker 2 Well done. You know what I have to say to that? Okay.

Speaker 2 Very good. Very good.
Very good job. I couldn't tell if you really didn't want to do it or what your deal was.

Speaker 1 I wrote it for Weigs to do it. He was like, Do you want to take this song?

Speaker 2 I was like, All right.

Speaker 2 I thought you wanted to do it. You seemed enthusiastic.

Speaker 1 No, I mean, I'm happy to do it.

Speaker 2 I'd love to sing. He seems depressed.

Speaker 2 It didn't seem like you didn't want to do it. No, I loved it.
Okay, okay. It was good.

Speaker 2 Hey, we have actually have another song we came up with because we like this. And people listening to this main feed, who maybe RBI behind the paywall haven't realized this yet.

Speaker 2 But you were also in the double. You're in the double boys double.
You're also on the Patreon episode that came out this past Tuesday, which means it's Zach Cherry Week.

Speaker 2 We're gonna

Speaker 2 have fun, we're gonna have fun, Zach Cherry Week. What the fuck?

Speaker 4 We came up with this while you were shitting.

Speaker 2 Wait, what is it? It's Zach Cherry Week.

Speaker 2 No, what's the song? Did you not hear the song? Zach

Speaker 2 Cherry Week.

Speaker 2 We're gonna have fun. We're gonna have fun.

Speaker 2 Zach Cherry Week.

Speaker 2 What the fuck?

Speaker 4 What is your question?

Speaker 2 You said, what the song is?

Speaker 2 Is that to any tune or is it just a new song?

Speaker 2 It's an original song.

Speaker 2 Original.

Speaker 2 I thought it was like skinny pop. I was originally thinking it was like Unskinny Bop, but then Amelia kind of made it, took it in her own direction.
Yeah. Yeah,

Speaker 2 it's cherry. These episodes are cherry-picked.
Wow. Cherry-picked episodes.
Wow. Cherry on top.
There's a cherry on top.

Speaker 4 That's true. And now

Speaker 4 the cherry was picked.

Speaker 2 Wow. That's pretty damn good.

Speaker 2 And hey, I cannot tell a lie. These episodes are pretty good.

Speaker 2 That made me feel insane. The song where you all sang together that you planned when I was shitting.
All right, so the hints grow increasingly obvious for

Speaker 2 cherry week. Wait, so we're going to have fun.
We're going to have fun. Zach, Cherry Week.

Speaker 2 We're going to have fun. We're going to have fun.
All right, now we're on board.

Speaker 2 We're all on board. The hints grow increasingly obvious.
We usually have some lifelines for these. We have the smell test.
Sorry,

Speaker 4 this is a debut segment

Speaker 4 simply because it's not pie?

Speaker 2 This is not pie or cake. We've done pie in the sky, and we've done cake it off.

Speaker 2 But this is neither of the

Speaker 2 food in this dude. This is a non-pie, non-cake food.

Speaker 1 I don't know what the food is, so if the Emma lifeline can stay alive.

Speaker 2 Okay, so Emma doesn't know what it is. So we have Ask Emma, and we also have the smell test.
So you can invoke those lifelines at any time.

Speaker 1 I think the smell test can be the color test.

Speaker 2 Okay, well, the color test. And you'll reveal the color? Yeah.
Okay, we'll do the color test. Okay.
All right. That'll be a change.
All right.

Speaker 2 Zach, you are a guest. You can choose whether or not to go first or second.
And keep in mind, the clues start at their most obscure.

Speaker 4 As Papa Doc once said to B rabbit on the stage of the shelter, let this bitch go first.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 2 All right, I'm the Mackie. I'll take the Mackie role.
Here we go.

Speaker 4 Well, I'm Mackie in this context.

Speaker 2 Oh, shit. I'm Papa Doc.
Oh, Oh, you're fucked. That's right.
Oh, fuck. Oh, wait.
Eminem wins, though. A rabbit wins.
Well, we'll find out. All right, here we go.

Speaker 2 Your first hint.

Speaker 2 The shape of this dish might be something you find at the beach or a joint on your arm.

Speaker 2 Shape of this dish might be something you find on the beach.

Speaker 2 Or a joint in your arm.

Speaker 2 A joint in your arm?

Speaker 2 The shape of this dish might be something you find at the beach or a joint on your arm. I know the answer.

Speaker 2 Mitch, keep in mind you have two lifelines: the color test and ask Emma.

Speaker 4 You better get it right because I know the answer.

Speaker 2 Fuck!

Speaker 2 Could be gamesmanship. A shell you find on the beach.
A shell or a shape? The shape of this dish might be something you find at the beach or a joint on your arm. Starfish.

Speaker 2 Star.

Speaker 2 Star joint.

Speaker 2 Your hand kind of looks like a starfish. Hmm.

Speaker 2 Good point.

Speaker 2 I thought you said we're going to have fun. We're going to have fun.
I'm having fun. I'm having fun.
I know the answer. Fuck.
Emma, lifeline.

Speaker 1 I have no idea.

Speaker 1 I'm like thinking of all the joints in my arm: wrist, elbow, shoulder, knuckles.

Speaker 2 I'm going to guess

Speaker 2 a shape you find at the beach.

Speaker 2 I'm going to go.

Speaker 2 My guess is

Speaker 2 what's shaped like a starfish? Any food that you can think of?

Speaker 1 Starfish. Can you eat starfish?

Speaker 4 Star anese.

Speaker 2 Star anese.

Speaker 2 Yeah, they are shaped like a starfish.

Speaker 2 I'm going to.

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 2 I don't know the answer.

Speaker 2 I can't do the color test, can I? Or the color thing either. I think you only can evoke one lifeline at a time.

Speaker 2 He's going to get it. This is the key.

Speaker 4 I might. I don't know.
I might be wrong.

Speaker 2 I might also be lying. I might be lying.
I'm not.

Speaker 2 I'm going to guess a Dorito. All right, Mitch guesses a Dorito.
It is not a Dorito. Zach, your hint.

Speaker 2 This dish gets a lot of love. Thomas Jefferson popularized it in the U.S.
after serving it at a White House state dinner in the early 1800s.

Speaker 2 There's sort of a dark history behind that, but Crayola named a crayon after it in 1993.

Speaker 4 It even has its own national national holiday july 14th i know that's right it's what you might find a beach is the shell and the joint in your arm is the elbow it is macaroni and cheese

Speaker 2 zach you have won food in this dude

Speaker 2 sorry sorry zach cherry week

Speaker 2 we're gonna have fun we're gonna have fun zach cherry week i didn't have fun i didn't have fun oh mitch don't be a sore loser All right,

Speaker 2 cheese.

Speaker 1 You reached to me for an

Speaker 1 lifeline and I let you drown. I'm sorry.
I didn't take that.

Speaker 2 That's fine. I didn't heat it up because

Speaker 2 I thought you might want to get it. I want some Bob Evans mac and cheese, which you can take.
There's two to three.

Speaker 4 Is that microwavable or oven-based?

Speaker 1 I think it's microwavable.

Speaker 2 Perfect. There you go.

Speaker 4 The remaining classes. You want to come over and eat that later?

Speaker 2 Yeah, sounds like a blast.

Speaker 2 All right. You're not anybody.

Speaker 2 All right. Have fun, you two.
Hint number three: after the success of E.T.

Speaker 2 in 1988, a Craven rip-off was released, which featured, quote, an alien trying to escape from NASA is befriended by a wheelchair-bound boy. The title is a clue to this dish.

Speaker 2 Mac and me. And hint four, you can get crafty with this famously abbreviated dish.
Add bacon or truffle, add redcumbs or scallions, use white or cheddar. And that, I think, would have made it obvious.

Speaker 2 But Zachary. I thought I should have had a guess, Bob Evans mac and cheese.

Speaker 4 That's interesting. That would have been my guess.

Speaker 4 No, I actually have never heard of Bob Evans mac and cheese. I thought they only made sausages.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I haven't heard of Bob Evans mac and cheese either.

Speaker 1 Where'd you get this? It was next to the sausage.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 1 Said it in the, like, that section.

Speaker 2 Hold on a second. Elbow mac and cheese.
Shell. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah. That's another type of pasta that's often used in

Speaker 2 mac and cheese. But these are, these are, these are elbows.
Yeah. Yes, elbow mac and cheese.
But for the dish, you can get mac, like.

Speaker 4 It's still called mac and cheese if it's made with shells, Mitch.

Speaker 2 I'm pissed. they don't call it shells and cheese.

Speaker 2 You won fair and square, you nailed it. Just like a restaurant with our feedback, let's open up the feedback.
That was food in this dude. Just like a restaurant, we value your feedback.

Speaker 2 Let's open the feedback. Today's email is from Schnazzy in the dose score.
Schnazzy writes, I'm laying here getting a vasectomy while listening to you guys

Speaker 2 because the doctor recommended to bring something that would calm and distract me. So, what are some foods that calm you down?

Speaker 2 For example, my wife and I get McDonald's when we're anxious and/or depressed. Shout out to the Deus first time, long time.
Congrats on the snip, Schnazzy.

Speaker 2 Yeah, congrats on the Schnip, Schnazzy. So Schnazzy was on their phone.
I guess so. Wow.
Yeah. That's cool.
Yeah, that's intense.

Speaker 4 I didn't know you were allowed to have your phone during a vasectomy. I might get one.

Speaker 2 Whoa.

Speaker 4 Just now that I know you're allowed to be on your phone.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I guess you could live stream it if you wanted to. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Katie Curric's anal canal.

Speaker 2 She's going to colonoscopy live, right? Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Broadcast live to everyone.
I wonder if anyone's done a vasectomy on Twitch or whatever. Someone must have done it at some point.

Speaker 2 Someone says a live stream of the preceding. They haven't.
Double?

Speaker 2 I mean,

Speaker 2 we've done worse doubles.

Speaker 2 I'm writing that down.

Speaker 1 Add it to the list.

Speaker 2 I've said this story one billion times, but I saw the camera going up my butt. Yeah.
What do you mean by that? I saw the guy.

Speaker 2 I was getting a colonoscopy. I saw the camera going up my butt live.
I was watching it. You weren't unconscious during colonoscopy.
Yeah, I was conscious watching it. Wow.
Was it uncomfortable?

Speaker 2 Because that's usually the thing.

Speaker 2 It's medicated. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was like, I had

Speaker 2 painkillers, but I was. I was conscious.

Speaker 2 I was conscious.

Speaker 4 I wanted.

Speaker 4 I got a colonoscopy and I wanted to do that. And they were like, they were like, you got to go to sleep, buddy.

Speaker 2 I was a child. I was awake.
I have no idea why they kept me awake.

Speaker 4 Very strange.

Speaker 4 You don't have to go under.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.
Wow. I went under the second time and it was fantastic.

Speaker 2 Foods that calm you down.

Speaker 2 This is a good, this is a tough one because I do use food as a coping mechanism.

Speaker 2 And I will.

Speaker 2 It could be almost any food. It could be almost any food, but like a lot of food,

Speaker 2 I'm like super anxious while I'm eating

Speaker 2 and it's like, I don't know if this is actually calming me.

Speaker 2 You know, like if like me eating like a sleeve of Oreos, which is the thing I would used to do, is like, I get like a fucking thing, I get Oreos and they eat like just like the whole column, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 And have like a sleeve of Oreos and a fucking like like jug of wine. And I'm like, is that calming me down or is this just like numbing the pain? I don't know.

Speaker 2 But I will say that I do find this is an obvious thing, but like some nice tea always calms me down. Some herbal tea.

Speaker 4 You came a meal. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I'll do that just, or just like a, like, a, like a mint guris, like a, like a Moroccan mint tea or something like that. Just like, yeah, it just, that's a go-to for me.

Speaker 2 You know, the thing that I do when I'm like, it's funny because I mean, my, my celebrate, my celebratory meal is a pizza yeah and that but also i think that is like for me it's like oh

Speaker 2 what a week and also a pizza i i think that i think pizza is kind of the the comfort the the all the the all-filling comfort food that's my go-to comfort food as well but not it does i don't consider it calming me down but yeah i do think of it as a comfort food but i don't think of it as calming me down Yeah, calming me down is because I do I get what you're saying with tea.

Speaker 2 I guess that is like a good answer of like a nice calming tea. Because like, thinking of this scenario, is that you're getting your hog operated on while semi-conscious.

Speaker 2 It's like, what's something that's going to, you know, like make you a food that would put you in a calmer place? Soup, maybe? Soup might do it.

Speaker 4 Superman off crock doeber.

Speaker 2 What is it? Crock dough burr for est.

Speaker 4 Crock dough burn.

Speaker 2 Crock doe burn faest. Crock dough burn pha est.
Crock dough burn faest.

Speaker 4 Did you sense any calming

Speaker 4 effects from the soup all month?

Speaker 2 no no i was pretty much boiling over with rage yeah okay well but yeah i think soup for me like a a chicken noodle or a miso soup something simple yeah you know it like something with a wet without like a cream base yes just something that's not going to give me

Speaker 2 tomato soup could help me out too yeah tomato soup could help i was also that was also making me think you know what i think i think like a warm bowl of like gruel like am i having like some

Speaker 2 you know what i mean like but but like like i slop like slop like like i mean like like a like a like a warm bowl of oatmeal oatmeal or something. Sure.

Speaker 2 Like some oatmeal with like a banana and some, and a little, little, Peter North drizzle of, of, of, uh, of maple syrup, you know? Yeah.

Speaker 4 Hot apple cider. Hot apple cider is.
Hot apple cider.

Speaker 2 Pancakes. Ooh, pancakes.
Kind of comforting. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Or honestly, mac and cheese.

Speaker 2 Pancakes is coming. Mac and cheese is pretty good.
Yeah. Mac and cheese, pretty good.
I would just worry about giving me the rumblies. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Which for me is very not calming. Warm apple cider, really good.
Cock cocoa, warm apple cider are good, good options too.

Speaker 2 What about a piece of apple pie? That's kind of nice. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I think a piece of pie is a very calming.

Speaker 2 Definitely.

Speaker 2 Come down. Come sit down.
Have a piece of pie. Piece of pie.

Speaker 4 Honestly, mashed potatoes.

Speaker 2 Mashed potatoes is pretty good.

Speaker 4 Because it's almost like a cloud. It's like a dreamy.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Okay.
Okay. Dreamies.
Yes.

Speaker 2 Somewhere.

Speaker 2 Just have a nice slice of pie. Hold on.
You're a fucking pickle witch.

Speaker 2 Fucking. You're a pickle witch.
That's, you know, she offered you, she brought you in. She brought you in.
Yeah, I did. Yeah.
She wanted to turn you into a pickle.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 This is your guy's creation. I was trying to come up with a pickle witch.
You know, when pickle witches, she tricked you. She tricked you with a piece of pie.

Speaker 2 Lured you into her lair. Yeah, yeah.
And now, like the hag in Baldur's Gate,

Speaker 2 she has cursed you and turned you into a pickle witch. Pickle Mitch.

Speaker 4 Let's talk about Baldur's Gate for a few hours. Yeah, talk about Mitch.

Speaker 2 Remember how good that game was? Great game. Really love it.

Speaker 2 One of my favorite stretches of the podcast is when you talked about Bother's Kate non-stop and Mitch was angry about it. I mean,

Speaker 2 still get angry remembering it.

Speaker 4 It's a good game. You strike it.

Speaker 2 Really good game.

Speaker 2 The only real game I played this year, I guess, was I played a Little Mario Kart and then I played Donkey Kong.

Speaker 2 Banana. Maybe, was there another game earlier this year? Oh, did I play? Was PS5 was the Astrobot this year? Astrobot came out, I think, maybe two years ago.
No, it was last year. Oh, play last year.

Speaker 2 Okay. And then I didn't play many other games this year yeah resident evil that's the next one i'll play no

Speaker 2 that's it for me a lot of common foods deus do you have any answers besides anything we haven't gone over no i like miso soup is kind of great that's kind of perfect like a nice broth yeah yeah yeah ramen maybe like if it's like a cold like sleepy day a nice hot bowl ramen will do you're right there's something also about like a like a like a cold lunch for some reason like i i don't know why i'm thinking that but i'm just like

Speaker 4 yeah like a cold lunch like like a sandwich that's been in the fridge, you mean? Or like...

Speaker 2 Yeah, what do you think?

Speaker 2 No, I mean, like, I'm just thinking, like, like, you know, like a, like a, like, yeah, just like a regular sandwich. Like, nothing, nothing particularly.
That will calm you down? Sure. I don't know.

Speaker 2 I think so. I think it could feel like kind of like a school lunch, maybe.

Speaker 4 Yeah, if it comes out of a lunch, I think.

Speaker 2 Sure, yeah.

Speaker 2 I agree.

Speaker 4 A nice plain, like, just white bread and a couple of slices sandwich.

Speaker 2 Very calming. A few sedatives in there.
Calm you down.

Speaker 2 That's it. That's what we got no more.
We have to do another episode right now.

Speaker 2 If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at feedback at birdfuck.com or leave us a voicemail at 830. Go to that.
830-463-6844.

Speaker 2 Our producer is Emma Erdbrink, our associate producer, Amelia Marino, our video editor, Mike Dorfman, Doughboys MerchantKinshipGoods.com, which is where, hey, I got the stay-of-homekin sweatshirt that I'm wearing now.

Speaker 2 Pretty keen. Also, you can get the Dough Boys Double or Weekly Bonus episode, plus our entire pre-2018 back catalog over at patreon.com slash Doughboys.

Speaker 2 Zach Cherry, thanks so much for being being here. What a king.
Thank you. Anything you'd like to plug?

Speaker 2 Looks like meats back on the menu.

Speaker 2 All right, hold on a second. I want to say this.
What? I mean, I love the mask. It has nothing to do with this.

Speaker 2 Stavros Halkius

Speaker 2 has been

Speaker 2 angling for rookie of the year. Yes.
Ookie Rookie of the Year. Well, for sure.

Speaker 2 I want to give Zach an award for.

Speaker 2 When was your first episode? Two years ago? It's been a while.

Speaker 4 I don't know.

Speaker 4 It was Pandemic Zoom era.

Speaker 2 It was my first. Because we went to the

Speaker 2 Butcher's Daughter. Yes.
Yes.

Speaker 2 This was a plant-based restaurant.

Speaker 4 We did a bi-coastal Butcher's Daughter.

Speaker 1 No, it was November 2022.

Speaker 2 2022. Okay.
2022. I want to give you

Speaker 2 the Rookie of the Year award for the Ookie Rookie of the Year Award for 2022. Wow, we're retroactively doing that.
Retroactively.

Speaker 4 It's an honor, but I have to reject.

Speaker 4 Why? I cannot accept. Wow.

Speaker 2 Why? What?

Speaker 2 All right, I'll take it.

Speaker 2 Thank God.

Speaker 2 Sacking plugs?

Speaker 4 No.

Speaker 2 Well, there you go.

Speaker 2 Do we have to make a trophy or something?

Speaker 4 I'd like one.

Speaker 2 I mean, it's up to you. Do we have to go back and retro?

Speaker 2 You want it for 2022. Yeah,

Speaker 2 let's draw the line there. We don't need to do any more years.
It's going to be too much.

Speaker 4 It's only for 2022 and 2025.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 2023, 2024 award was vacant. Yeah.
I like it. All right, great.
That'll do it for this episode of Doughboys. Until next time with a Spoonman, Mike Mitchell, I'm Tiger Wigery.
Happy eating.

Speaker 2 Zach Cherry Week. We're going to have fun.
We're going to have fun. Zach Cherry Week.
See ya. What's going on? It's Lamorne Morris.

Speaker 7 And Hannah Simone.

Speaker 5 And we host The Mess Around, a New Girl Rewatch podcast now on Headgum. Now here's the thing.
Every single week we chat about an episode of New Girl and we really get into it. Like we get up in there.

Speaker 5 We get up in there. You know, we reminisce about our times on set.
We share behind the scenes tea. We react to rewatching episodes that we haven't seen in years.

Speaker 5 We talk about how Jake Johnson is dog f ⁇ ing.

Speaker 7 That's not true. We talk about so many memories we have of working with the biggest stars on the planet.
I'm talking Prince, Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo.

Speaker 5 We're just two BFFs having a good old time, okay? Sometimes we even talk to other co-stars like Zoe Deschanel, Jake Johnson, Max Greenfield, and Damon Waynes Jr.

Speaker 5 And your dad, we talk to your dad on this show as well.

Speaker 7 Make sure you subscribe to the mess around wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes drop every single Tuesday.

Speaker 1 That was a hit gum podcast.