The Toothsome Chocolate Emporium & Savory Feast Kitchen with Mark Rennie

This is a Head Gum Podcast.

Want to watch this episode? Check it out on our YouTube channel by going to youtube.com slash Doughboys Media.

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In 1964, Roald Dahl published Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, a children's novel that introduced the world to eccentric chocolatier Willie Wonka.

A 1971 film adaptation starring Gene Wilder further established the character as a pop culture icon and entrenched visual language for Dahl's fantastical world with its chocolate river and diminutive orange-skinned and green-haired oomba loompas.

The Wonka verse and the greater Dahl canon persists in the public consciousness more than three decades after the author's death in 1990.

So much so that Universal created a new chocolate factory IP, both similar enough to attract crowds but distinct enough to evade litigation, in the same way that a Jay Leno mask may be sold at a spirit Halloween store with the label talk show host.

But although conceived with plausible deniability, just after the cocoa-themed restaurant's August 2016 opening at Universal City Walk, Orlando, the company was in fact sued.

Not by the doll estate, nor by Wonka film IP holder Warner Brothers, nor by Wonka candy license license holder Nestle, but rather by Adam Limley, an Ohio-based entrepreneur who claimed to have pitched the idea to Universal nearly a decade prior.

The $40 million lawsuit was ultimately decided in Universal's favor, and Limley was forced to cover the multinational's legal fees.

Orlando-based law firm Johnson Moss points to the case as an illustrative lesson: quote, protect your ideas before you disclose them with a confidentiality or non-disclosure agreement, end quote.

But although the concept survived and expanded, now with a triforce of outposts bordering Universal theme parks in Hollywood, Orlando, and Beijing, in December of 2024, as a cost-saving measure, the company announced its two walk-around characters, gender-swapped Wonka analog Penelope Toothsome and steampunk Chacobot Jacques would be retired from active duty.

So has this vaguely Art Nouveau themed chocolate bar, not that kind, and restaurant evaded legal peril but still steered itself toward financial ruin?

This week on Doughboys, the Toothsome Chocolate Emporium and Savory Feast kitchen.

Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Tiger Weiger, along with my co-host, the just barely running man, aka the I'm not running man, aka the rubbing man,

the spoon man, Mike Mitchell. Okay, so

usually when you get a roast, you get one chance. We had kind of a theme here.
We had a few different running managers. That was a running man theme.
I noticed that.

Alex from Denver, Go Nuggets, Johnny P., and Danny N sent those in, respectively, Roasted Birdfire.

So you want to use a bunch of three different uses. Well, I was like, when the time is, you know, the Edgar Wright running man as of this record is ever so briefly in the zeitgeist.

We don't know when this episode is coming out. This is the time for you.

Yeah, it's the only time.

Now or never. You know, my complaint, I haven't seen the movie yet.
I'm seeing it tomorrow night. I saw it, and then I also re-watched the Schwarzenegger movie like the day after.

And you know that my, you know, my, I invited you to come to tomorrow night to watch the movie, but you went and saw it

beforehand with, you've, you've made your decision, it sounds like.

I said that me and Gabris and Cullen and Ben Rogers, Cullen Crawford and Ben Rogers are all going. The fun crew.
No, Natalie and I saw it over the week. All right, hey, look, all right.

Look, Natalie,

you get Nick before I do. That's the deal.

But

my complaint about it is that I want like Mega Man style villains, and it seems like there's not any of those in the movie.

No, it's like the source, which is a little bit more grounded, where the stalkers or the hunters, I believe they're called,

are just like kind of like guys. They're just guys with guns.
So you don't have like what you had in the game show/slash pro wrestling version. I think that's a a great ad in the Schwarzenegger.

With a family feuds. I agree.
It's a lot more fun. It's a lot more watchable.

It's got a much better pace to it, but you've got like, you know, Sub-Zero is one of the, who I believe the Mortal Kombat character named Sub-Zero is is from the Running Man. Yeah.

But he's a different Sub-Zero. He's like a hockey guy who's also got...

I think he's just, I think he just has like a, like a hockey stick that like cuts you in half. Yeah.
Cuts a gong in half with it and then like has an exploding body. That's that's sub-zero.

That's sub-zero. And then there's a

then there's Dynamo, who's the opera singer who's who's got electricity power. Dynamo is very fun.
Dynamo's great. And it was a real opera singer.
He was a real opera singer.

Yeah, and it has like a strange. There's some strange history to Dynamo.
Dynamo, the actor who played Dynamo, passed away before the 1987 Running Man came out.

I guess it's not really weird history. It's just sad.
It's sad, yeah. Yeah.
And then there was, there's Fireball, who's played by Jim Brown. That's right.
The legend.

And then I'm trying to remember the other. Jesse Ventura.
Jesse Ventura's and it is, I think, Captain Freedom. But he walks away.
Doesn't he walk away? Doesn't he, like, doesn't he?

Yeah, I mean,

it's part of what happens later in the movie.

But yes,

they try to deploy him, and then they end up doing a whole fake, like I said, this isn't

a big boys.

This isn't, oh, that's right. There is a proto-AI.

They do a fake video. They do a deep fake of Jesse Ventura killing Schwarzenegger, and they're going to broadcast it to be like, see, the running man's dead.
So

we won.

We have

a movie buff, I would say, here as our guest. Very much so.

What the fuck is the other one? There's another one. Don't worry about it.
No, there's another one.

Are you excited for any new movies coming up?

A new Park Chan Wook movie.

Do I want to check that out? The Simpsons movie sequel. Hey, a few years away.
I just saw Selman. Just bumped up.
Did you really see Selman? Yeah, yeah. I heard a rumor about the new one.

You know how the first movie shows Bart Stick? Yeah. I hear the sequel is going to have Marge Badge.

Wow.

What a scoop.

Blue hair.

Blue Blue bush. Blue bush.
A little bit of labia. That's, yeah, yeah.

They're going to show other things. How detailed are they going to get, I wonder? Because that's the whole thing with the anatomy.

The animator's decision, honestly. It's all a little scientified.
I hope it's very detailed.

Let me get a look at those meat flaps.

Jesus.

You know what? Speaking of movies, I saw Alana Haim

at a restaurant the other hour. How about that? I don't docks where it was, but I saw

celeb sighting. A celeb sighting.
Only in LA. You know what? It's a place where I tell people to go for celeb sightings and they don't listen to me.
Do I want to say it and we can bleep it?

Yeah, just say it. Yeah, of course.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Well, you think everyone would know that? No.
Okay. Yeah.
Yeah. But I think that that's, I think that's just the old school Hollywood.

You think saying it on the podcast will now prime our listeners to go to

a lot of haim. I want to

be there in a low-key fashion. Hey, I'm there.
I've certainly seen seen celebrities there. Yeah, I'm there too.
I sat next to a celebrity at the bar there.

Can you say who? Jerry O'Connell.

Wow. Pretty cool, huh?

I'm sure you met him a hundred times, a funnier guy.

I mean, but still, that's cool. That's pretty good.
I don't really know him, but, you know.

I've seen Hame and I've saw Ham. Ham and Ham.
Yeah, I've seen Ham there.

Ham is there quite a bit. Yeah.
Anyways, we're not going to dox this place because there's some inside stuff you guys don't get to know about. Am I right? We got to stay.

We got to keep some stuff for the Hollywood insiders. Hollywood's coming back.

You guys don't get to know everything about it. That's the deal.
Mitch,

you know what? You know, I'm a spillmonger. I'm always spilling.
That's true. I had a pre-show spill.

I got myself a bean and cheese burrito that I was eating as a meal, and I had two little cups of salsa. Oh, I thought you spilled the beans for a second.
No, I didn't spill the beans.

I'm going to spill the beans on this spill, which was a salsa spill.

I finished my burrito and I was like, oh, great, I got it, I came out of that clean. Uh,

like, lowered my hand and inadvertently hit one of the two salsa cups, the red salsa cup, and just blasted salsa all over my crotch.

Did you have to change shorts? No, I didn't change my shorts, I just kind of uh cleaned them up with some dish soap, and I think it did a pretty good job.

I think it's fairly, I mean, there's there's sort of a vague staining, but it's nothing too visible.

Hey, if you said if you pulled the Bart Simpson and that would eat my shorts, it would be uh, I think you would have more takers with a nice salsa.

I'm gonna pull a Bart Simpson from The Simpsons movie, show skateboard naked

why did we why did we didn't want to really see bart's dick did we it's a funny gag but no it's funny but i really want to see it no one had to see i didn't i wasn't i wasn't like dying to see bart's dick finally it's weird well yeah he wasn't dying to see an animated child's penis

he's a child this is what i'm saying he's i i i i like uh canonically in fifth grade we should we should grill a selman on this but i think they overestated how much we wanted to see bart's dick yeah I get it.

It is funny that there's child nudity in that movie, but there's no blood in the itchy and scratchy because they were trying to get a PG-13 rating.

That's wild. Versus

it's a bloodbath on TV. Totally different standard.

You loved that moment, right? Yeah.

Yeah, that solidified it for five stars on Letterboxd. Wore out my VHS.

Emma, let's hit him with a drop.

I liken a rock and roll song where there's just a guy talking. You know what I'm talking about? We're rocking all time and we're gonna keep on rocking.
Oh, no.

Oh, yeah, yeah, everyone knows what I'm talking about. We gotta keep on rocking for as long as we're rocking.
We're gonna keep on rocking.

I'm talking about, like, you know, like you'll hear, like, uh,

Dweezer. Yeah.
You know, uh, uh, call me, baby. What is that? Is that saying it's all? Hey, man, I'll see you after the show.
You know what I'm talking about?

I like, I like, I like some, I like a little bit of dialogue. I like some dialogue in the song.

I mean, pretty good. A great way to end the drop.

My least favorite type of drop, which is me listening to our podcast, which, and I'm just like, this sucks. You know? Yeah.

It's bad.

You're not even paying attention to me. What are you doing? I like it.

I like the drop.

I did it. That's what I'm saying.
I thought it was good. Hey, Doughboys.
Here's a little drop about Mitch's love for rock and roll and misremembering Weezer song titles.

Thanks to Count Dropula for the inspiration at the end. Oh, Joe, Joe, Joe, all the best.
Joe Bastion. I liked the drop, too.
It was good, Joe. Thank you.

It's taken

some of us talking, some of us bloviating, and recontextualizing it as an audio collage. That's what a drop is all about.

What in the fuck? I like that they sort of took the thing that we riffed out and then they added some musical accompaniment and gave it a little bit more. Yeah, that's always been the drop.
I like it.

What are you looking at over there? Are you looking at the...

Are you looking at the

outline up?

It's just my outline.

All right, let's get our guest in here for John. JohnsonbirdFock.com.
Our guest today, a writer, podcaster, a friend, Mark Rennie. Hi, Mark.
Hello.

Thanks so much for making your debut here in the main feed. We've had you on the Doughboys Double, where we previously discussed Muppets canon.

Very controversial. Well, here's the thing: we know you're a Muppets man.
Yes. We're recording this amidst the Christmas season.

A Muppets Christmas Carol. I feel like you're less of an enthusiast.

This does make me mad at you. He's going to get his dander up.

Yeah, it's my fourth favorite Muppet movie fourth favorite's still pretty good So what's Muppet movie's number one? I would maybe caper you like caper okay that's pretty funny.

Okay, Charles Groden sure yeah and then Muppet movie

and then taking Manhattan I mean Muppet Caper correct me if I'm wrong has one of my favorites of all time Hey, a movie

yeah there's gonna be oh the opening like uh yeah yeah yeah. I always get that opening confused with the Superman 3 opening.
They're very similar. What happens in the Superman 3?

It's like Richard Pryor doing a whole bunch of like physical stuff. Oh, right.
Isn't that also like a sheet glass gag? Yeah, it's like a New York City street sort of thing going on.

But that song, I love that.

This might be your favorite Muppet movie.

I thought you would be on board with this immediately. I haven't had Disney Plus in years.
No, I'm not re-watching it. I agree with that.
I don't, I'm not a Disney Plus fan. Paramount Plus?

Paramount Plus, I'm more okay with yes peacock you know I'm a team peacock

but yeah not a not Disney plus and Netflix thumbs down for me fair enough where did the plus come from we just did we just normalize plus we're all saying plus what is the plus what's the additive what are we talking about what are we getting yeah stuff at home how about disney stream how's that that works disney stream disney everyone knows what they're getting i i agree they do know where they're getting the plus add the stream i i agree plus who what does plus mean?

That's what I'm. That was my question.
I know I'm

on board with you.

I don't like plus. More at home, I guess.
Yeah,

I don't like it. Thumbs down.
Your Muppet enthusiasm comes from the TV show. Yes, that's why I grew up with the TV show.
Yeah, yeah. That's my.
Yes.

Which TV show specifically? The original. It was called The Muppets.
The Muppet Show. The Muppet Show.

The Muppets is kind of a black box to me. Like, I've seen Muppet Babies, and then I've seen the Muppet movies that we watched.
Wait a minute. You've seen Muppet Babies.
That's it?

I've seen Muppet Babies. That was a whole thing.
What was even your connection to it?

Well, it was just a cartoon that was on. And so I was just like, oh, Muppet Babies, I'll watch this.
And then when I watched the action. Is this recent? Yeah.

Oh, Muppet Babies, I'll watch this. It was last week.

Seen more stick enough times.

Some Donzo dicks. When I was a kid, no,

it was just a show that was on. So I just watched it like I watched anything, you know? And so I just had it on.

And then when I saw the actual live-action Muppets and their puppets, I was like, they look weird. And I didn't like them as much as I like the cards.
Oh, my God.

So that's one reason I never got into the Muppets. For the purpose of this podcast, I did watch.
You're an insane man. No, I'm just saying that was my kid brain.
You went the original movie.

But that was my kid brain processing it. Like, if I saw the original first, it's like people who saw the prequels before they saw the sequel or the original movies, rather.

They've seen episode one, two, and three. And then they see four, five, and six.
Like, these look old. Why does everything look like it's from the 70s?

But you watch the Muppet show and you're like, where are their legs? Exactly. Yeah.
It takes you out of it.

Why is there music running through this whole thing? Where's Nanny?

We love though. Talk about legs.
Bah, va-voom.

There is, you know what? There is a segment in Muppet Seg Manhattan. Muppet segment Manhattan where you see the Muppet Babies.
Wow, that's fun. In live action.
Wow. How about that?

Look, we'll talk about the third one. Yes.
Okay. We'll talk about this in Monk.

The Mank. We're going to do Muppet Mank.
Oh, yeah. We might do a Muppets Month at some point.
Monk. Oh, yeah.

So you've never watched the original show from the late 70s? No. You should.

The Linda Lavin episode. Okay.

Mum and Sean's did an episode. There's all these weird like 70s figures that were popular at the time, but now you've never heard of.
Yeah. Elton John has a fun one.
Oh, yeah. That's a famous one.

Yeah.

The Crocodile Rock is what I'm doing. Right.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Vincent Price did an episode. Wow.
I think you would love, I mean, you'd have to get Disney Plus.

Oh, boy. Or just buy the DVDs on eBay.
Okay. Support local business.
By the way, we're launching Doughboys Plus. Oh.

You can see our feet. You're just going to

see our feet.

And every staff member is involved.

Toeboys.

Toeboys is pretty good. Toeboys Plus.

They can make a mint.

I think.

Sadly, we have said this before that, like, if we just sold our buttholes, we would probably do pretty well. I wonder.
Like, this is the thing. There's no amount.

There's no amount that would make me feel good.

It's a million dollars. No, I mean.
I feel great. No, here's what I mean.
Here's what I mean. I extend it for free.

If we're putting it up there and we're putting it behind the paywall and it's like wildly popular, I'm like, okay, so this is what people really want. They're just, they want like butthole.

But then if it's not, I'm like, well, people aren't even like interested in my butthole. Some people.

You know what what i mean that's what some people maybe these people behind the butthole never would have listened to the podcast you know i mean maybe you're just finding a new audience i'm not sure how much the venn diagram overlaps you're right i've never seen my own so i maybe would subscribe to see what it looks like for health reasons for health reasons yeah you ever tossed a hand mirror back there i've never done that before never spread that never spread the cheeks at the bathroom mirror i've never didn't did didn't you say that you looked under your legs at one didn't you look through your legs at one point well the thing i told is i took a hand mirror because i wanted to see what this was when i was a little boy i wanted to see what it looked like when pee was coming out of my dick.

And so I held a hand mirror in front of my little kid dick and then just sprayed pee directly onto it. In front of the mirror? Yeah.

You wanted like the toilet's point of view? Yeah, I just wanted to

see what he saw. Oh, to be a toilet.

A child's imagination. It's a beautiful thing.

You got to get on, I guess to see the Muppet show, you got to get on Disney Plus. I think that's the only a lot of great Muppets.
I think he would love the Muppet movie. I bet I would.

But also, here's the spoiler for you. You might see Muppets with, you might see a whole body Muppet at some point.
Okay.

I just have a hard time with like the newer post-Henson ones because it kind of feels like they were doing like their SNL character.

Like it's like, it's like seeing someone else do like John Belushi's Samurai. You know what I mean? It's like

that was their thing. Yes.
And it feels weird to have someone else do like this character who's like such a part of like their original Puppeteer's personality. Sure.
It was like their pitch.

It was their character. So it always kind of, there's like weird disconnect to me where it feels like...
Frank Vox still sometimes will still pick up Miss Piggy, right? Like when he's alone

in the dark. There's going to be a Miss Piggy movie.
That's, I'm excited about it. Jennifer Lawrence and Emma Stone and Cole from O'Mary.
Cole.

Scola. How about that? Is writing it.
Yeah, very exciting. Yeah.

We're going to get you familiarized with the Muppets at some point. What about Dark Crystal?

I must have seen Dark Crystal at some point. It seems up your alley.
I may have. What about you saw Labyrinth and all that stuff? I've seen Labyrinth.
I like Labyrinth. Yeah, Labyrinth is good.

It's fine.

Soso on it. It's fine.

What is it? Okay, it's amazing. I mean, Labyrinth is good.
It's very good. Yeah, yeah.
I mean, look, I think that it got very popular. Is that the issue? Has it become too popular?

Yeah. It's too popular.
I like uncool Muppet things. So you like the SNL Muppet segments that we're on that are like super dog shit.
I don't think I ever.

Did you ever see any of those? Only when I watched Saturday Night.

There was a reenactment of there was, but they use like they don't have the rights to the Muppets. So they have like a public domain Muppet.

Yeah, they were like really shitting on Jim Henson in that movie. Yeah, for some reason, they were like, oh, let's make this guy look like that.
Jim Henson is like considered like so benevolent.

Yeah, people loved him. Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know. I didn't get that take as much in Saturday Night.
But besides that, perfect movie.

Yeah.

there's, I think you would love a lot of them up at Canon. So you are, you are a movie man, as Mitch mentioned.
Do you have any 2025 films that you particularly enjoyed or had a strong reaction to?

Well, I just saw my brother's here. I took him the third time.
I saw one battle after another for the third time.

I've seen it on three unique formats. Have you seen it? I had not seen it.
Wow. And what did you, what do you think? It was crazy.
It was so nice.

Yeah, it's great. It's great.
I loved it. Mark,

your brother, Mike, we should explain, is not in the studio under duress. No, no, no.
He's not tied to a chair. Yeah.
We're torturing him by making him sit in

his dog shit.

But I love that. Hame.
Speaking of Hame, she's in there.

Yeah. Poor little wig gets blown right off.
Spoiler. Yeah.

It's on digital now.

I haven't seen it yet. Oh, no.
You haven't seen it yet?

There's a fan that blows her wig off.

And then she's distressed for a little bit.

Everything's fine. You're fine.
Everything's fine.

Everything's fine. It was great.

What else? I liked Clown in a Cornfield. Did you see

Clown in a Cornfield? Like, it's not great, but I was like entertained.

I normally don't like teenagers in movies. Yeah, sure.
So I'm not interested in their stakes. Like, there's no stakes.
You're fine. Yeah.
You're going to be alive another 20 years. It'll be fine.

Yeah. But this one I thought had pretty funny teens.
Okay. I was interested.
It's the guy's horror movie. Yeah, it's like a slasher.
Okay. But it's based on a series of young adult novels.
Oh, wow.

But they made it like really violent. Wow.
You know what Clown in a Cornfield reminds me of? That time your dad visited Iowa.

Okay.

You go too far.

Clown ass dad. Was he a clowner? No.

This is a thing Mitch made up.

A lovely man.

I love your dad. This is the truth.
He's a great man. I text him.

I have probably equally meaningful conversations with your dad and you. And I talk to you 100 times as much as your dad.

A great guy. Yeah.
But I just like to call him a clown-ass dad because it's funny. Fair enough.

You know what? I saw that had a reaction to was Die, my love. I just saw that.
Oh, I know. It's Robert Pattinson.

There's like a thing with a dog in it where like the dog is just like, it's meant to be annoying, but for like 15 minutes, it feels like the dog is like constantly barking. Wow.

And it's like meant to be annoying the character, but it is also annoying me. Yeah, sure.
Yeah. That's funny.
Spoiler. This was the first time ever in a movie I was happy a dog died.
Oh my gosh.

I normally like hate when dogs die in movies. I don't don't like,

but like, this was the first time I was like, oh, thank God it's over. That is

because it was so aggravating. But you're like, yes, put this dog out of its put us out of our misery.

If Jemi ever dares bark in here, we're going to put her in a silence of the lamb mask so that she can't do it again. We're going to muzzle her ass.
Right, Jemmy? Good girl.

See, she doesn't do it though. A perfect podcast, though.

She really is. She's cute as hell.
She's been a little bit of a sin in her life. Wow.
She's been.

She barked at me out of excitement, which I love. She does like greeting barks, little tiny baby hello barks.
Yeah,

it was like a little,

she was excited today, too. And then that excitement went right out as soon as we started to record.

All that excitement went away.

Clown in the cornfield, the horror is like a genre you're a fan of. Yeah, I like a lot of horror.
Do you have any?

Because I know we were talking shudder a little bit when we were at lunch, but do you have any particular horror favorites? I mean, they could be all-timers or they could be recent picks.

Well, like my favorite slasher of all time is probably the original Sleepaway Camp. Okay.
Great movie. Very fun.
Yeah, that's a at first.

So you think, like, 20 years ago, I think it was considered problematic, but now it has actually been embraced by like the queer community. Like, yes, this is why you don't misgender people.

It's like actually a positive message. Because look what happens.
It's like, totally, you could tell it's like made by people who haven't normally made a movie.

It has like this, it's made by a bunch of like people from Long Island, I think. So it has like that flavor.
Right.

And very similar to the Simpson movie, there is a scene quite like that scene in the movie. Juan.
There's a show. Hog.

There's Hog in the movie.

The Dome? There's no Dome in Sleep Away Camp. God damn it.

Sleep Away Camp is

a great one.

Yeah.

And then franchise, I always come back to Nightmare on Elm Street franchise. Yeah, sure.

Love Nightmare on Elm Street. I was thinking lately that the new generation, when they think Freddy and horror, they're thinking Fazbear.
Five nights ago. How dare you? These children.

Because now they have the Black Phone 2 tried to do a Freddy thing. Try to do a Freddy thing.
And he's totally lame. That's because you really haven't seen it.

He doesn't do anything like in the dream world. There's no like difference.
The dream world looks exactly the same as the real world. I'm like, this guy has like no imagination.

The grabber like sucks as an autour. Man's a bummer.
We were like spoiled with Freddy. I was thinking this.
Grabber is grabber. Also, I don't know.
I think I named the grabber.

Justin Kylie, my, you know, you know, my very good friend, Justin Kylie from Quincy, he took his daughter there and she's, she's younger, but loves horror movies.

And when she left, she's like, that was like a lot like Freddy Freddy from Nightmare on Elm Street. And he was very proud of her for like knowing that.
There you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's right.

Yeah, wasn't grabbed by it.

There was a sleepover when I was a kid, and they were gonna, they had two different movie options. One was a Freddy movie, and one was a horror comedy Saturday the 14th.

Oh, and they opted to see Saturday the 14th. I thought it was funny.
Isn't it like Richard Benjamin in that? I don't know. I remember that.
Sounds like you ruined everyone's night.

Yeah. No, there were two different VCRs.
There were two different settings. Oh, it was.
Oh, yeah. One room goes here, one room goes there.

It was exactly like someone goes to the family room, someone goes to the living room. It was a palace.
I know, right?

Which, as you know, for my friend Dan Tuflo's birthday, they all went to Hotshot Spark Dew, and I went to see the Super Mario movie with his dad and his younger brother.

The three of us went together, which is the dorkiest movie you could make, was like the three of us seeing this very shitty Mario movie.

It's bad, right? But when you're a kid, you know,

yeah, I was very excited to see Mario. And then I never really saw

Hotshot Spartou in theaters, not until it came up. Oh man, you missed out.
Oh, God, it's great.

Pat Proft, what a visionary. They really gave it to Saddam.

They did some good work there.

The Super Mario movie, the original, which I've now seen like a half dozen times. And each time I see it, I'm like, man, maybe like it a little bit more.
Even though it's not good. It's a mess.

It has no relation to the actual IP, but it's like kind of just like... has a has a real aesthetic to it and it's made by guys who have like the max headroom guys who have some like visual panache.

And so they've just made this sort of unique sort of film that you would never see today. Because at least it has like personality.
Yeah, right. So many things are just lacking in personality.

Everything just feels like they're trying to appeal to the most possible people. And it just feels like a corporate product.

And now everyone has like a total, the license holder has such a stranglehold over their IP. They had they're imposing so many restrictions that you would never see something that's unique.

But I also saw, like, for that money. But it sucks too.
They just recently came out with like a $70 like Blu-ray Blu-ray box set. I'm like, not every movie needs,

you could just do a $24 4K. It's fine.
No, we don't need the vinegar syndrome release. No, not everything is a prestige release.

Is it better than the

Super Mario Minions one? The Illumination one? The Illumination one? I think the Illumination one's a more functional movie. And the Illumination one does look awesome.

It has some awesome-looking stuff. It looks good, but I don't know about the

I don't know about the rest of it. You didn't like Mario's arc of learning to stay confident?

I obviously learned nothing from it.

Yeah, I don't know.

Can I tell you what I like about shutter? Shudder, a thing you do when you're scared. That's right.
But also, a very important aspect of filmmaking.

Yes, miss. Shutter

helps with exposure. Yes.
Thank you. So when the shutter is opened, it's a homophone, of course.
It's not spelled the same way. Yes, yes, yes.
Yes.

Shutter with two G's or two T's. Yes, yes, yes.
I guess if you wanted to be pedantic about pronunciation, shutter and shutter. Yes.
Now, I'm usually a double D man if you catch my drift.

Hell yeah, my guy. But in this case, I'm a double T man.

Hey, man, I wouldn't kick double T's out of bed. Okay.
That woman's got a real bad back.

Oh, double T.

What would be the double T in? I don't know.

Sounds like a

set of testicles, double T's.

It's got double T's?

So four?

Oh, wait. Double.
Oh, right. And maybe it would be four.
It would be four. Yeah.
T squared. T squared.

But yeah. Quadruple Hitler.
That's that. What did you say? Quadruple Hitler? Quadruple.
He had one ball. I forgot this about Hitler.
Wow. That's the one thing I know about Hitler.
He had just one nut.

He was a painter. Hitler was a painter.
We don't talk about that about it. We don't talk about he was a painter.
Yeah. Roald Dahl actually was,

it was Roald Dahl who created,

you know, obviously Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, which leads to Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory which ultimately leads to the toothsome chocolate emporium and savory fish kitchen which we're going to talk about in a second

to hitler somehow well no roal dahl was like famously an anti-semite and it's the sort of thing of like you read some of his defenses and he's just like well it was actually anti-zionist and anti-israel and you're like and you usually want to give like a lot of times like okay let me give the person the benefit of the doubt here but then you read and he has a quote where he's basically like look hitler had his reasons like he's just he's like really overtly anti-semitic with some of his sentiments so yeah he did love torturing children in a lot of his books it it seems.

Yeah, and I think there's some problematic passages in some of his books, but you know, whatever. I hope Hitler is down in hell with two balls now, and it's weird for him.
His pants are

so confused.

That's what he deserves. Yeah, that's what he's doing.
He's slightly uncomfortable.

An ironic punishment for one of history's greatest monsters, a second ball. A second ball.
Enjoy your ill-fitting underwear, Adolph. I was used to one.

But yeah, Shudder. That's what I like.
Shutter's right. Very cool.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But But you like Shudder the streaming service. I do like Shudder the stream service.
You watch anything notable on Shudder in recent years? All the time.

I mean, every holiday, I mean, whatever the new VHS is. That's now because I've got a lot of VHS Halloween.
I watched that one. Yeah, I just watched a great one.

This Indonesian folk horror movie called Empedagore, which is a terrible title because I think the original title is like Woman from the Damned Swamp or something, which is a better, cooler title.

I saw this on there. I did not, I have not.
Watch Empedagore. It's pretty gnarly.
Yeah. We were saying that like Demons is on there.
We had this. We've had a little bit of a demons.

We had a little bit of a shutter talk at a chocolate emporium.

The scarier than anything Shudder could come up with is the chocolate emporium. We'll get into it.

What is your general chocolate fandom?

I have Ghirardelli individually wrapped in my cabinet because I always want like a dessert, but it helps me to not like eat a bunch of ice cream if I just have

a piece of one small piece of sweet, just a little nibble. I love a dark chocolate chocolate.
The darker the better. Yeah,

I love a dark chocolate too. Do you have a for on the scale of a gust Augustus Glump

to

Mutley, the dog? Where would you say famously hates chocolate? Yeah, yeah. Well, all dogs hate chocolate.
I was just trying to think of a famous dog.

And Scooby-Doo eats a lot of stuff, so I figured not to go with Scooby. Yeah, Mutley was a good pull.
Yeah, yeah, Mutley was good. Where would you put yourself in the Augustus to Mutley?

Probably in the middle.

I like chocolate, but I'm not like. Why the hell did you want to do this place? Because it's themed.
I don't know. It's very themed.
What is it? So is ice cream at the top of your dessert hierarchy?

Yes, it is fast.

Yeah, I can't keep it in the house because I'll just eat it. Yeah, that's why I made that decision.
I used to have a, I used to keep tillamook in the house like a fool. Oh, man.
Tillamook is good too.

Tillamook is fantastic. What flavor ice cream are you going with? I like the chocolate peanut butter.
All right, so all right. So we will go with a chocolatey ice cream.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, okay.

I'm not anti-chocolate. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm just not like, you know, I got to have a box of chocolate. Yeah.
I like a sea. I like sea's candy.
Scotch malo. Okay.

They just came out with a coffee-flavored scotch malo. That's fun.
It seems like you like sweets, but not particularly chocolate itself.

I mean, I know now that we think my favorite cake is like a yellow cake with fudge frosting.

I love that. And also, I like have never had a good version of that in like 10 years.
Like, they don't do it in, like, you have to make it at home.

Like, I don't think you get it in a bakery or like a nice, I think it's considered like lowbrow or something.

Here's my thing: I love yellow cake, and you very rarely get it's like you get vanilla cake, you get

tripling down. It's quadruple chocolate explosion fever.
Yeah, yeah. And I don't, I don't need that.
I don't need that. I'll eat that.
So, maybe I do like that. Maybe I'm a seven.
Maybe I'm closer.

I'm learning and I'm closer to Augustus Gloop than I like to admit. I'm a glump myself.

I'm team gloom. I will.

Did you mean clump?

I'm not a clump. Okay.

No, I'm not a clump, Wages.

Look, I wouldn't turn down an invitation to the table. Have fun.
No, they're having fun there. And I would.
And when someone said, Somebody call an exorcist, I would laugh at that moment.

I would have a blast.

Deus, have you ever seen the nutty professor or the clumps? Yeah.

What's the clump?

You don't know what a clump is. I've seen the nutty professor.

The clumps are just the nutty professor's family. Family.

Yeah, yeah. Did you see the second one or no? No.
Okay. No.

I think you would love it. The clumps are.

You probably would. The clumps are a lot of fun.

You got a lot on your list, so don't worry about it.

And that Laker sweatshirt sucks. I told you before.

It's funny because you and Amelia's sweatshirts are matching.

They are very close.

I'm rubbing Casabonita. Yeah, you're wearing your Casabonita sweatshirt.
You gave Amelia shit shit for her, the Laker sweatshirt in advance, and then

you called him a picket line crosser?

Because the Casabonita labor dispute.

I went before that happened.

And I, whatever, I support the workers of the cliff divers and the performers of Casabonita. I support them.

But I also do love Trey and Matt. And they'll do the right thing, I'm sure.
I'm sure they'll do the right thing. I think it might have been settled at this point, but I'm not sure.

Maybe we can look into it. Yeah.

You're a, we were talking a little bit at at the, at the restaurant. You're an air fryer enthusiast.
Yes. I love my air fryer.
When did you get into your air fryer? What do I get into it?

When did you get it? Like a year ago? Like a year ago. Yeah, yeah.
It's been great. What do you what, what bad boy you got? Yeah, what you heating up in there.
Oh, um,

I think it's a cuisinart. A cuisinart.
Okay. Oh, yeah.
It's not the bucket kind. Okay.
More like toaster oven. God ain't.
I got a toaster oven. I got the ninja flip.
That's the one I have.

And don't they love to? They do. They do.
They just do love to flip.

You can make chicken thighs in there. Okay.
Right from the freezer. Wow.
And they're still juicy. Yeah.

My favorite thing to do, and I got to get back on it because I got a Zojirushi, which is the rice maker. So I make myself some rice.
Okay. And it makes a really great rice.

And then I get the Trader Joe's like marinated chicken, put that in the air fryer. You're good to go.
I'll try that. You're in business.
Yeah. Yeah.
I do chicken thighs.

It really opened up the frozen aisle having an air fryer. Just being like, what's new? But then like, everything's like super.
I bought chicken fingers thinking, like, oh, this will be fun.

But they just tasted so unnatural, processed, not like real food. Were these from Trader Joe's as well? No, this is Tyson.
The Tyson, yeah. Tyson's got some pretty gnarly.
Bad product.

But now I just buy like wings. And sometimes I'm like not super hungry.
I just want like four wings. You just throw four wings at me.
You can make four wings. You can do that for wing.

You have that option. I don't have to have eight.
That's true. Yeah.
I do like that. You can, you can make the number of wings you'd like.
Yeah.

That is a nice, that's a great thing about the air fryer. You can do, like, I do the butcher box chicken nuggets wages, and they're pretty good.

And I know that we do an ad for that, but they are, they're pretty damn good if you want to try the butcher box chicken nuggets. Give me a code.
Code Dough.

Oh, Doughboys. Thank you, my mom.
I'll never remember that.

I wonder if we'll get a message to like not advertise during our show or something from them. I don't think the advertisers mind if you're tossing.
Just giving a free ad. I'm just a free promo.

Don't you dare say our name.

But yeah, the frozen stuff in it. Oh, it reheats pizza.
Yeah. You can't make a frozen pizza in it.
At least mine doesn't make it well, but you can reheat it. Like it's reborn.

You just put a slice in there? What do you do? Yeah, well, it's like a

toaster. Okay.
Like a toaster. So there's a toaster oven.
Got it. Got it.
Got it. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, he did. He did this motion.

I was expecting, I was thinking of like a deep fryer, like you, like it's top loading, but it's what it's more front-loading. It's more front-loading.
It's definitely front-loading.

It's definitely loader. Yeah.
Wow. Just remember Green Days, drummer.

What else did I do? A lot of chicken. Yeah, sure.
Yeah.

I was a microwave pizza guy for a very long time. And I was like, when you put it in the oven, I was like, this isn't the same thing.

But the air fryer did kind of change me over to air frying the pizza. I always had an issue with it drying out too much.
And then the microwave almost like kind of like...

maybe too much makes it a little moist yeah a little limp but i like was still like i like it but now the the air fryer is the way to do it.

There's a pizza setting, you just put it on that, and it's good to go.

Our microwave broke at our apartment, and it's just, it's one of those things where it's like, it's like built in, and so it's, it's something that we'd have to like, yeah, just anytime we contact our landlord who's fine, but they're, they're always like, well, you just take care of it and we'll reimburse you.

So I'm just like, other than them, just this is going to be a thing I'm going to have to do. And I just don't.
So we just haven't had it fixed for like a couple of weeks.

And it's crazy how quickly we adjusted just not having a microwave. It's like pretty easy to just not use a microwave.
I only have counter space for one appliance. So I had to pick an appliance.

And at first it was a coffee maker. Okay.
But then I was like, no more of that. Then I had to, I got the air fryer.
Are you off coffee? No. Okay.
I just don't make it at home.

But I had to choose. Wow.
And I haven't had a microwave now in like four years. Yeah.
And it's fine. Yeah.
You don't really need it. Air fryer is one of the things I use the most in my life.

Yeah, I use it all the time. It's not, I thought, I was afraid it was going to be like an Instant Pot situation.
Right. You know, I was like, oh, you got to have an Instant Pot.

Now everyone has it collecting dust. You never use it.
Yeah, I got, you know what? I got the Instapot and I never even, I never even did one thing in the Instapot. I got some good use.
It was a gift.

I got some good use out of the Instant Pot for a bit, but it's enough of a hassle. And the recipes are bespoke enough where I just kind of fell out of use.
It fell out of usage.

And then at a certain point, it exited. It like moved from being on a fixture of the countertop to being under in a cabinet.
So now it's just like, yeah, I haven't used it in like a year plus.

You know what? I'm going to take out the Instapot. I'm going to try.
Yeah, tis the season. Yeah, why not? Make a chili or something.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You get bags, right?

You you just buy bags for the Instapot, right? Isn't that what you do? No, that's souvied.

I'm sorry about sous vide when you like put it in the

I think you can sous vide in the instant pot okay yeah you can buy put bags in it see what happens yeah I'll put a bag in there put some bags in there see what happens

so bag stew yeah

soup soup versus stew what would you rather have a bag stew or a bag soup let us

in the comments hashtag bag soup or hashtag bag stew log on to x the everything happens that's and tweet at us or X at us, what you think. Or log on to Blue Sky and Sky at Us.
Yeah.

You say Blue Sky. I say X app.

What are your favorite fast food chains?

What a pivot.

Chipotle. Oh, okay.
I go like once a week. We were talking about this.
You're still on the Chipotle. You're still on the Chipotle.
You're still on Chipotle. I'm falling off of Chipotle.

What's your goal? What do you think of that new carne asada? Don't bother.

I get the same thing every time. Yeah.
I get a chicken burrito, white rice. I love this.
Chicken and then sour cream and cheese. Very simple.
My order is very close to the same thing for burrito.

White rice, chicken, sour cream, cheese. But I will throw the pico de gallo in there just to give it some tomato.
And then

you're going bean-free.

Oh, no. I'm sorry.
I do get, I get beans. Okay.

You're bean-free. Yes.

No more beans for me. Yeah.

Right. We talked about this a little bit.

We know why. We talked about this a little bit.
And if you're, if it's a thing you're okay getting into,

your diet has had has become fairly restrictive because of a procedure you had. Yeah, I lost 85% of my colon a year ago.
Yeah. Or a year ago.
Yeah, yeah.

That's partly why this, this, this, uh, this episode, which is long gest dating, ended up being delayed because, you know, I was recovering while I'm sorry I couldn't do a podcast.

My My body was healing.

I'm sorry. Why do you got to bring up long gestating in front of them? It's kind of brood after.
Yeah, I'll never have a baby.

So insensitive.

We were very worried for you there for a moment. It was very scary.
It was pretty crazy. It was very scary.
Yeah, yeah. I spent a lot of time in the hospital.
I spent two weeks with no food or water.

That was crazy. Which was crazy.
But I did make a list of everything I wanted to drink because I just was craving beverages. We're taking all of it.
It was very scary.

We texted about it. Because I believe we supported you.
You did. Yes, yes, yes.
And if not, we were supporting you in thought. Thank you.
I'm taking it.

No, it was one of those things where it was like a the, I remember when the, when the, the crowdfunding thing went up, and it was just kind of like a, it felt very abrupt.

Like this was a thing that kind of happened to you

somewhat as an emergency. Yeah, yeah.

It all happened very sudden. Wow.
It was, I got a bacterial infection, and then it led to a condition called toxic megacolon. Oh, my God.

Which is the real, which when the guy said it to us, we're like, no,

it is the real nigga. Come on.

What's that really called? But yeah, it just means your colon is like diseased and swelling. And then four days in the hospital, we had to cut it out.
Wow. Jesus.

And then I spent two and a half more weeks in the hospital recovering from that. And that's when I didn't have any food or water.

They said I could have like ice chips. Okay.
But I was like, no, that's worse, like the teas. Because I wasn't allowed to swallow them.
I like sucked on ice jokes, but then I had to spit them out.

That's hard. I'm like, this is worse than just denying myself an

were they just giving you fluids or just IVs. Jesus.

That was the only way you were getting anything in your body. Was the IV.
Yeah, yeah. That's wild.
It was crazy.

Your boy should have come in there and snuck some, you know, marinara or gravy in your IV.

Thank you.

Helps you out a little bit. I need some ragu.

Oh, that tastes so good. Going through the arm.

Yeah, I went in. I came out with like a new hole.
I had a new skin and ostomy after that for seven months, that's which was crazy, yeah. So, I didn't like fart for like seven months.

That's crazy, the butthole was shut down.

There's some plus sides here, there was some plus, but every now and then you would because your body still creates mucus. Oh, my God! So, every now and then, you're like, oh, it's been a month.

I, I think I have to go to the bathroom, and like, you're just like unfamiliar with that sensation after a while. That is wild.
That was crazy.

I did that. Uh, I did a water fast for

four days.

I did it for a while because i got to i got to 90 hours didn't i yeah yeah yeah i got to i got to 90 hours that's when you're just drinking water just drinking water yeah yeah 24 48 oh yeah because i think i got to 96 hours didn't i or i got 24 days yeah yeah yeah and then uh and and also like you're not really going to the bathroom then you know what i mean like you're just drinking water yeah yeah yeah after the first day or whatever and that was weird just for a day or two.

So I couldn't imagine what it was like. Yeah, seven months.
Seven. Yeah, that's crazy.
And did you, when, at what point do you say, are you, are you like, are you eating solid food again?

It was like a, pretty quickly, like a month afterwards. Yeah, it was pretty cool.

So your diet is starting to normalize at this point, but it's, there, there are a lot of restrictions that it's maintained to this day.

Anything high fibrous I can't have because essentially your colon breaks all that down and I don't have that.

So I just can't have anything really high fibrous, like no raw vegetables, no beans, no nuts or seeds, essentially. That's like I can eat it.
It's not gonna like

it's not gonna like kill me. It's just gonna make me uncomfortable.
Like, I tried four peanut MMs a few months ago. Like, let me just see.
I've recovered now.

Um, but it's like, nope, but you could just feel it moving through. I think you said that you could feel it moving through your body.

I was like, this is horrible. And who wants to spend all that time really chewing a peanut MM? Yes.
They're meant to be consumed mindlessly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't want to be mindful with MM, chewing every bit of it. Yeah.
Well, this guy's got a nut allergy, so he's lost out on a peanut MM soup. Yeah, developed a peanut allergy in middle age.
Oh, no.

So no peanut butter. No peanut butter, yeah.
Damn. Bummer.
I know. I used to love peanut butter, especially peanut butter desserts.
And a lot of Thai food, too.

Yeah, a lot of Thai food, a lot of Vietnamese food has peanut sauces, so you just gotta just kind of avoid it. But it's not everything.
There's just like

it's discontingent. The only thing I really miss is like tostadas, like salads, like a salad for lunch.

Physically a tostada salad. Yeah.
Like a cheat, like an

older yeah where you could eat the bowl right right right i guess i could just order the bowl you could you could just get the bowl and sour cream or whatever you could do that it maybe would scratch an itch or something honestly you could just get nachos you're halfway there it's true but i do miss a lunchtime salad yeah you could just like lettuce and like stuff like that is just yeah it's just like you know that is that but i'll it's fine Yeah, I mean, look, there's stuff that you could lose that would be.

Can you eat pizza? I can eat pizza. I can have popcorn.
Okay.

But it was just crazy when I had the ostomy bag to like finally like you literally are dealing with your shit like in such a tactile way of like oh eating this affects me this way like i never was more aware you just become very aware of your body and how it works that's why i'm just like oh how it made you more proactive and like learning to eat better yeah because i i mean like i remember when i was a kid i had no connection between what i put into my body and what came out of it i just like did not even process there was like like oh if i have like a you know a i heat up a can of chili and then I drink a glass of chocolate milk, I might have a weird shit afterwards.

Like, it was exactly. I like, I was just not even thinking about that.
And as an adult, you become a lot more aware of the connection. But yes, you, you have like,

there's like, there's almost almost like a level of intimacy with your BMs. You know what I mean? Yeah.
You're literally like holding them, right? Yeah. Wow.
Feel it.

I can't get over a bowl of chili and chocolate milk. It's fucking

even as a child, I think you maybe should have got some of that.

No, you didn't understand it.

It would be funny, like, hearing because the ostomy, the stoma, that's like the external butthole, essentially, you, it would fart. So you would hear, you would hear a fart coming from

here. You would have a chest farce.
And like, but you also don't know what's coming because there's no like nerve endings really. It's not like a butt fart.
This is great content, right?

No, I love like a butt. So you wouldn't this is this is fast.

I would just be in like a movie theater and just hear,

but it's coming from here.

So it's just really strange. I have to smell.
I have to ask. No, it's all in a bag.
It's all in a bag. I got it.
But would it, if, if it wasn't in the bag, would it have, would it smell like that?

Yes, because whenever I empty the bag, it's the most noxious smell.

Oh, my God. And now when I fart, ooh, that's a special stink.
It's like a very, it's like a more

evil.

It's the only thing I can describe.

That's something just like noxious.

It's the only word I can think of. Like, ooh, those are some some rank farts I have now.
Because I appreciate your colon. I think it's because I have more electrolytes.
Okay.

Because the colon is also how you it helps hydrate you. Okay.

So that's, but now I don't have that, so I'm losing more electrolytes. So can you eat like a normal amount of food that you're just restricted in what you can't eat?

And do you have like, are there supplements that you take? I take every morning before half an hour before breakfast, I take five metamucil like capsules and an emodium.

Then for lunch, I have an amodium. And then for dinner, I have five more metamucil fiber tablets and another emodium.

What is the difference between taking three emodiums a day? What is the difference between taking, consuming in like the dietary fiber in tablet form versus consuming it as food?

You just don't have it. Like it doesn't have to be processed.
It's just ready to go. Gotcha.
I think so. And I also just like the pills because who doesn't like pills? Yeah, sure.

The emodium basically is helping. It slows everything down.
It slows everything down. Yeah, wow.
I did. My doctor said I had to get a...

Also, I only ever had one colonoscopy in my life, and now I never need another one. Wow.
Okay.

But I have an endoscopy endoscopy, I think is the word. And I had that last time.

Is that where you go down your throat? No, no, no. That's up, but not as deep, and you don't get put out for it.
Oh, okay.

But my doctor said, Are you having solid bowel movements? And I was like, Yeah. He's like, huh.
I was like,

where did it go to me?

Yeah. I guess he was surprised.
Yeah, I would like him not to be as surprised. Yeah, it's like, you should be having constant diarrhea.

Why aren't you? I don't know. I haven't a lot of rice, I guess.
So three emodiums a day. Yeah, yeah.
And it barely works. That's wild.
If I took three emodiums in one day, I maybe would explode.

It used to, like, really, I used to take emodiums, and it would be like, well, I'm, you're a little too stopped up. Oh, you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Nothing to me.
That's wild. Do you have it? Is there any food in particular you miss that you really still have a hankering for? I miss like a sesame bagel.
Sesame bagel.

There's just no seeds. And you mentioned the taco salad earlier, obviously.
Yeah. Mendocino Farms had a really good Impossible taco salad.
Oh, yeah. They've taken that off the menu.

I'm not keeping it in my honor. I think it's fine.

I can't have it. No one can.

I think that's fair.

No, that salad was clutch. I was really bummed by it.

It's like the only good thing, right? Do you think they got rid of it just because impossible burgers are expensive?

It should be, but they also changed their menu. They had the Save Drake's Farm salad, which was a staple.
That one's gone too. They've just made that.

I don't know what they're doing.

Some of the tweaks they're doing to their menu are just. Though your sandwich is back i know i had it three times already did you really

it just came back which

is november to remember oh got it

thanksgiving sandwich it's like turkey cranberry bread uh cranberry sauce

uh

stuffing it's the best sandwich ever and every november i make sure to get as many as i can have you have the trader joe's like they have a wrap that's like a thanksgiving wrap that has like a gravy dipping sauce

and it has like it's like turkey cranberry and stuffing in the wrap wow thanksgiving wrap it's thanksgiving wrap yeah come on gobble gobble look at me oh

not gonna do it i can't do it i would like to eat

turkey

now i'm sleepy now i'm sleepy turkey wrap it's a turkey wrap

Don't look, don't look embarrassed for me.

Emma was doing the right thing, laughing.

You were looking embarrassed for me also by the way you said sauce like the most New York person I've ever heard in my life with a cranberry sauce

we'll try it we'll try another Thanksgiving wrap in a future episode yeah we'll get we'll get when does this episode air we don't know it's coming out at some point December 11th no it might be December it's still

December yeah who knows we'll figure turkey for Christmas yeah yeah turkey yeah yeah yeah yeah we've time stamped when this has been recorded this is is in the aftermath of Running Man opening second.

Yes, yes. December 11th.
First Running Man Edgar Wright version reality. December 11th is still a time to talk about Thanksgiving.
Remember?

It might not come out December 11th. So don't get too married to that.

We don't know.

It could be January. We'll see.
We'll figure it out. It's still close enough to Thanksgiving.
Yes, yeah.

Yeah.

Thanksgiving is in recent memory. Yes.
And the time you talk about Thanksgiving leading up to it, and then for a week or so afterwards. Where do you talk about it? Where do you stand on Thanksgiving?

It's great. Do you have a favorite dish? I don't really like Thanksgiving food that much.
Oh, interesting.

Is there anything you can't eat now because of what's happened with Thanksgiving?

Well, my mom used at this one time, one year, my mom made like this corn casserole like 20 years ago. And I said, hey, this is pretty good.

And then every year after that, she said, Mark, I made your corn casserole. I was like, it's fine.

But now you can't have it. Now I can't have it.
Yeah. So I'm free.

How about a, can you do the green bean casserole with the onions? No, I'm never green beans. Are you trying to kill me? Oh my god.
Sorry. No, I'm just kidding.

I'm not. I'm not trying to kill you, to be fair.

I mean, I also could eat it. It would just be, I would have more urgency.
Right. I'm like, I got to go.
I just had green beans. Which could be a good way to get out of Thanksgiving.
I don't know.

I don't know how things go.

On a bad date to sort of

classic Thanksgiving date.

He just got Brussels sprouts. This isn't going well.

Was it like Rocky take Adrian out on a date on Thanksgiving or something like that? Some insane thing in that movie.

He probably doesn't know how time works. Yeah.

He's not aware of holidays. But do you have a, like, like, but what's something like a tuber, like we're talking like a mashed potato? You can have that.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Fine.

So like, like, a starchy vegetable is not a problem. Starchy vegetable is great.
Anything that's got, that's, it's just anything that's too heavy in fiber. Yeah.

And also like things with like skin, like tomatoes, like the skin of tomato is bad.

That kind of stuff. Are there any fruits that are okay? Bananas.

Bananas are not avocados. Bananas are like hell.
Banana is the miracle fruit. I feel like

it's just so good. Proof of creationism.

That's right.

Yeah. I've seen that video.
It's a, it's, I think it's like a Kirk Cameron thing.

You talked about how like the banana is so perfect that it shows that the God's divine plan is behind, you know, Earth's bounty.

All right. I didn't know that.
Pretty persuasive. Let's go, Kirk.

Enjoy your Subway birthday.

Someone told me I should eat a banana every day. I don't, but I should eat a banana every day.
Curious George? A nurse told me this one.

Curious George probably would tell me not to. He's trying to hoard the bananas himself.
Was it Nurse Grew? It was Nurse Grew.

I do come close to eating a banana every day. A banana today.
Well, I make it smooth. That's my bread.
That's how I get my

fruit and vegetable. I make a smoothie.
Oh, that's it. That's morning.

But I'm also like fine having the same thing literally every day. It's just banana,

like blueberries, avocado. Yeah.

I was a smoothie guy for a while. I kind of want to go back.
It's fine. I want to get myself a nice blender, but I'm like you, though.

I'm enough of a creature of habit where, like, if I get locked into like, this will be my breakfast, then that will just be my breakfast for a year. Yeah.
And then I'll finally just change it up.

I'll switch to something else arbitrarily and then I'll just do that for like indefinitely. Because I like not having to think about it.
Right, right, right.

Or I know exactly what groceries I need to buy. Yeah.
I'm out of mangoes. I need to get more mangoes.
Oh, man. One of the greats.
Here's what I like. A strawberry banana Greek yogurt smoothie.

That's fun. I'd have that every single day if I could.
And I could, could, but I don't. I could.
I could do it. It just seems like too much work.
Yeah.

What do you what is your blender maintenance there? Are you hand washing that every day? Yeah. Okay.
That sucks.

What's the alternative? No, I'm just asking. Oh, yeah.
Some people not wash it every day? And you'd have to if you're having daily smoothies. I'm having a, are there dishwasher safe blenders?

I think you can get ones that where you can put certain components in the dishwasher. Yeah, there's like metal, right? But also, I'm using it every day.

Yeah, are you, yeah, if you're using it every day, how often you're running the dishwasher? We're not running the dishwasher every day, you know?

Maybe if you're like a family of five or something like that. must be nice.
I don't have a dishwasher, Mitch. I'll put it on the small.

There's a small cycle, there's a short cycle you could put it on. There is

that you could put a short cycle on. I don't waste water, I love water.
Yeah, I've learned from

Jim James Cameron not to conserve water and be good with water. I'm not, I'm not waste.
I'll put it on the short cycle. You ever use that short cycle to clean your hog?

Yes.

I put my hog in the dishwasher.

See you in 30.

Probably the most action that thing is getting in a while.

Not wrong.

Let's just say that the Lexapro has been, I thought that the, well, Butron would turn me into some sort of awesome powers character, but instead,

not much going on. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They pit those drugs against each other sometimes. They're like, this one will cancel this out, but then also this might be.
You told me that it can affect you for the rest of your life. And then

I went down that little whatever hole. Yeah, there are people who get SSRI-induced, like a permanent lowering in sex drive that just like never comes back even when they're off the drugs.
Or

this syndrome. Take a Viagra or something.
I think you can get a boner, but you're maybe not like

what I'm going to do with this thing. Hang a towel, I guess.
Yeah.

Dry your socks, I guess.

Show off. I don't know.
Hey, there you go.

Dry a towel is maybe,

you know. Dry a baby's sock.

Dry a shoelace. Yeah.

My shoelaces are always wet. Wait a minute.

But yeah, no, I hope I don't have that.

Who knows? I'm off of it now. I'm off of Alexa Proto.
You're completely off of it. I'm off of it.
Yes. Wow.
This is the second day I've been off of it. Hope it works out for you.
But no drive yet.

But also, mine was very low to begin with. So if it's gone, oh, well.

What do you need that for? Yeah, how's this serving me? Yeah. I'm going to just make my children like Elon Musk anyways.

Just to recruit some women to be in a paid harem? Yeah, why not? There you go.

Yeah, that's the way to do it.

But yeah, there are some side effects that I wish you had told me earlier about. I'm not your doctor.
What are you talking about?

Well, you were happy to bring it up and then you got in my head, and now I think it's sorry. Didn't you think that

prescribe this? Do you? This is off top. That new Superman movie mentioned harems a lot.
They did, yeah, they did. It was really weird.
They kept they leaned into harems.

Yes, here's the thing: I think there should have been a joke in there.

There should have been like one when they're going through all the women who are like all the people who are giving their testimonials about like Superman as a harem. It's disgusting.

There should have been one woman like, I'll be in your harem, Superman. I'm sure like a few boys would, too.
Yeah, should that be fun? Come on, 100%. Yeah.

We needed more people being horny for Superman. Someone should have been horny.
They're all horny for Jimmy Olson instead. They're all very horny.
That was fun. I did like it.

Sure, that's fun, but yeah, we want to see him be, but come on. They want him to be horny for Superman.
Yeah, someone should have been horny for Superman.

Someone who wasn't sitting in the theater.

You saw it at the Tiki Theater.

All splash zone.

Did you like the Superman? I liked it. I thought it was fun.
Yeah, it was fun. Good time.
Well, you know what?

To bring this back into where we're talking about today, I went to the theater right after we after we had our lunch. You saw Predator Badlands? I saw Predator Badlands.
The better, we said this.

There is a Bruce Springsteen movie out, and Predator Badlands has the better Bruce Springsteen title. Wow.
Deliver Me From Nowhere is not as good of a, it should be like Born to Run or something.

Well, it's where there's like Springsteen, Deliver Me from, like, it's a franchise.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't, I, they should have just gone Born to Run or

Born in the USA.

The title, it's kind of one of those, like a camel is a horse designed by committee. It feels like there are too many people who are like, well, deliver us from nowhere.

People throw Springsteen in there. You know what I mean?

Like it just, it got tweaked to hell. But yeah, something like Born to Run is like, why overthink it? How about Springsteen Born Again? Because it's Born to Run.

And, you know, sounds like he sounds like evangelical. I guess that's true.
I don't think he has. I don't think he has either.
Yeah. Hearing those lyrics.

So maybe we will get, maybe we'll get one at some point. Well, maybe we'll get a Springsteen Born Again at some point.

I hope so.

But Badlands would have been like a good title. Sure.

I think better than Delivered Me from Nowhere.

You know what? I had a fun time with Predator Badlands. I think you were.

I think you said to me before I went, it's like a very video game movie. It's like a plot of like any open-world video game.
It literally felt like I was watching a video game on screen.

It's like a Metrovania. Sure.
Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Which was, you know, which is. El Fanning, though.
She's great.

I told you my story of how I waved to El Fanning and thought thought she was a bartender from La Pubelle. And she was El Fanning.

But

she's great. She's great in it.

She's got double duty in it, too.

I like Flora and Fauna.

Yes. Yeah.
Yeah. Wait, what?

Flora and Fauna. Like the plants.
Oh, the plants. Oh, yeah.
Well, actual. I thought that was a fun thing.
Alien biomes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
There's some fun.

There's a lot of fun alien biomes. It was like that show.
Did you see Scavenger's Reign? I love Scavenger's Reigns. Yeah, but it's very, it's very kind of that.
Yeah.

Scavenger's Reign, I like, wasn't even all that interested in the plot as it progressed. I was just sort of like, I just like seeing all the visual invention.
As the kids are saying, it's the vibes.

Yeah, great vibe. Great vibe.
Also, great. Did you see Scavenger's Reign? No.
Great creatures. Great, great sci-fi.
What are the creatures? Is this a sci-fi?

It's an animated show that I think was originally on HBO. HBO, yeah.
But it's streaming now.

It's worth watching. Very, very.
It's only like eight episodes. Yeah, it's very digestible.

And they did another one, though, saying Common Side Effects. I haven't seen that.
Pretty funny. Oh, yeah.
Our friend of the pod, Dave King, is the voice in Common Side. Oh, wow.
Yeah, yeah. Wow.

I I haven't checked it out yet.

I got to watch it too.

I went over there after the chocolate emporium. Yeah.

And

it was

compared to the chocolate emporium, it was more of a highlight, I got to say, besides being with good friends. Did you get any sort of concession?

Because you're all filled up with some chocolate emporium and savory pieces. I did.
And it hurts me to not get anything when I'm at the theater. Not even a big soda.
Not even a big soda.

I just had had a huge, I had a refill of, remember we did Coke Zeros right towards the end there? You do? And I had like chugged a big Coke Zero on the way out.

And I was like, I don't need, I don't know. I always need to have something.
I bring a bottom refillable bottle off. Yeah, I got to sip something.
Like, because you went in dry and you stayed dry.

I stayed dry the whole time. That's right.
Did you have to, did you have to take a urine break? No, that's the plus side. There's no, no, I did not piss.
Pre-show Brett's Badland.

Pre-show pee, and then you were good to go. I don't even think I did a pre-show pee.
How did you possibly machine? What happened? Look at this, Braggart.

I don't know. It dried up in there somewhere.

I'm a dehydrated man. It's a desert in there.
So probably just, you know, probably just dry. But now you talking about piss makes me kind of have to piss.
So I'm not going to. I don't.

Do you want to take a piss break? No, no, no, no, no, no. We can take it.
We do about it. I'm actually pretty.
I'm pretty good.

I drink like a liter of water before I go to bed and I wake up eight hours later.

Really? Wait, really? How close to bedtime? Right before I have to fall asleep. You're drinking a liter of water and then your head is.
Is it that right? Do you like use...

Do you piss before you you go to bed? No. Are you pissing the bed? Are you pissing the bed?

My bed is super yellow and stinks like piss.

Worth looking into.

So I wonder. No, no, not pissing the bed.
Because if I did, the last time I almost pissed the bed, what's that? What was that sweatshirt white?

This is a white Casabanita sweatshirt.

The last time I almost pissed the bed was in Micas and all those guys came out and we were drinking. We drank so much.
Like

back to Quincy days drinking and i woke up i i like woke up i think i was having a horny dream and then i woke up and i was like i'm pissing and i ran to the bathroom and i pissed but i was um oh sorry go ahead no that that was that's the last and that was like you were having a horny dream and then you started pissing what dreams don't mean piss you know that yeah

i think in my dream i was like this is horny and then i was like this feels good but it was like i i started to dribble out because i had to piss

and so like uh the sensation was like something, some sort of substance was creeping out of your, your hall. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And so you're, you're, like, you're

sleepbraining. I'm like, I thought it was a wet dream, but it was a bad thing.
Okay, here we go. This has never happened to you before.
I have a similar story. Okay.

I think I've shared the story of the podcast.

I mean, I know that the

voluminous. Well, that was it.
Yeah, I did have one. I did have one wet dream where I did have a voluminous

mountain ejaculation. Wasn't it like a band playing or something?

That was when, yeah. So I had the first time I ever had a wet dream.

I was sitting, it was just like I was sitting on a park bench and there was a sousaphone player just going, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

And I was just watching this guy, and then it just busted and it woke up. Wow.

You like love the music, man. I don't know.
I don't know what the association is. Wasn't there like a hawk and girl that played the sousaphone in band or something?

I mean, it must have been some sort of

music crush or something like that, but it was not who that was playing the Sousaphone. Was it the rhythm of your blood flow or something? It might have been that.
Yeah, I don't know.

I don't know exactly what was going on. Sometimes I think that there is a tease between you're having a wet dream or...
a wet bed. You know what I mean? I think that there is

having a warm sensation either way. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, and your body needs to pee. You know what I mean? Like, I think that, I think that that does happen.
I don't know.

But I wonder, has anyone ever had the opposite where they actually like have a wet dream, but they dream like, oh no, I'm pissing. Oh, that's

a nightmare. A true nightmare.
Ready? Then you're not having fun in that scenario. Well, no, the story I was going to tell was not the Susaf one story.

The story I was going to tell was analogous to that. That was one where

I woke up.

I was sleeping in, I was home from college. I was like sleeping in a bed at home and I was like, I woke up and I just had like a just a fully turgid, like, you know,

erection. And it was like, I was like,

but sleepy in the morning. And I was just like, oh, God.
Yeah. And then I went back to sleep.
And then I woke up and the boner was gone and my underwear was wet.

And I was like, oh no, I had a wet dream. Oh, this is so embarrassing.
And I like kind of like covered myself up and walked over to the bathroom. And I took my underwear off and I'd shit my pants.

It's much worse. Yeah, way worse.

And you didn't know that until you stood up. No, I didn't.
Yeah. I just felt like a general, like I was groggy and I felt like a general just sort of like moist sensation.

Also, you didn't, also, I was going to say, like, you didn't have like, there was was no, see, for me, look, this is dirty talk. This is, this is for the boy.

When, when, anytime I've ever had a

nocturnal omission, yes, uh, it's, I always am waking, like, you know, I'm like, oh, like waking up, you know what I'm saying? Like, you're like, waking up in the midst of it.

Like, like, cause it's an intense sensation. Right, right.
And so you're like waking up as that's happening. So you didn't experience any of that, of course.
No, no, no.

I just woke up in the aftermath. Yeah.
But thought that that was like put two and two together. And I was like, well, boner's gone.
Wet pants. I know what happened here.
Shit in the bed.

I came again.

There's a curd in the bowl. That means I orgasm.

I just do everything all at once. That's what that movie should be about.

Jesus Christ. What a nightmare.
How old were you when this happened?

Probably like 18. Okay.

Very young. Yeah.
Yeah.

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We got gross there for a second. We're going to continue being gross because we're talking about emporium.

Perfect sentence. We're here.

The Toothsome Chocolate Emporium and Savory Feast Kitchen first opened in 2016 at Universal City Walk, Orlando. It has since expanded to Universal City Walks, Hollywood, and Beijing.

There's a Chinese outlet.

It was the subject of a $40 million lawsuit lawsuit over intellectual property theft. I'm going to read a lengthy excerpt from an August 22nd, 2016 piece on Courthouse News about this.
Quote:

In a lawsuit filed in the Orange County, Florida Circuit Court, Adam Limley claims he was working on a business concept he called 1-800 Santa Claus in 2003 when he asked his nine-year-old daughter Lindsay to draw a map of the North Pole.

He says he thought his daughter's vision of the North Pole would better connect with young children than one drafted by an adult.

But as he recounts in the August 18th complaint, complaint, there was one feature of Lindsay's drawing that particularly caught his attention, a small building she called the Chocolate Factory.

Limley questioned his daughter about what the building and name represented, and she advised him that, quote, this is where the elves eat, end quote.

Lindsay then explained her concept to her father, which involved an elaborate interactive culinary and confectionery vision, which involved an experience for visitors combining all of the five human senses, the complaint says.

Limley says he would, he immediately realized his young daughter had a vision with unlimited global potential, mass appeal, and tremendous opportunity for exponential growth and sustainability.

He says he pitched the idea to Universal in 2008, and the entertainment conglomerate expressed great interest in the concept.

Then in 2012, NBC Universal announced the planned opening of the Toothsome Chocolate Factory and Savory Feast Emporium, which Limley claims incorporated many of the ideas and features he had shared during his pitch.

Limley, meanwhile, claims he is the victim of the defendant's brazen theft and misappropriation of his entire business plan, creative concept, and national rollout development and marketing plan.

The lawsuit was ultimately ruled in Universal's favor. But yeah, he like that.

This guy claims that from a child's drawing of the North Pole, he was inspired to create the toothsome chocolate emporium concept, and then that was stolen from him by Universal.

Which he is just stealing. Which he is just stealing Willy Wonka, but he has not acknowledged William Wonka at any point.
He's he like is almost like

seemed to be crediting his daughter with inventing a chocolate factory. It's also just fine I've never heard of it previously.
Like, wait, what did you draw? Yeah. A chocolate factory?

It's like, what the fuck are you talking about?

This is this.

I suppose chocolate has to be made somewhere.

Also, you can pitch restaurants, I guess.

Why are we pitching restaurants left and right?

Amityville Cafe. Oh, my God.
That'd be fun. Oh, I meant Amity from Jaws.
They both worked Amityville. Yeah, they both work.

Both of them would be great. I mean, that's what you know.
I mean, Universal should have Amityville. Well, I was also watching

Amazon Prime as a live channel that's just Murder She Wrote. So, of course, I was watching that.
I love it. Why not a Cabot Cove? That's a universal property.
I love it.

The teens would love a Cabot Cove cafe. I was going to say Burger She Wrote.
Burger She Wrote.

They should put a Burger She Rote in Universal. Yeah, why not? Absolutely.
I never had Burger She wrote, but I hear it's very good. Wait, it's real? Wait, you didn't know this?

Maybe I did, but I just subconsciously. There's a Burger She.

Well,

I hope you don't get sued. It's a burger she burger she's saying it on the podcast.
They're saying it on the podcast. They're very litigious.

Burger She Rose is a Smash Burger place in Los Angeles. Oh, okay.
Has Deus had it? I haven't had it. No.
I must have heard of this at some point. It's over near the Grove, it looks like.

Okay, they all have like weird names, though. There was like For the Wind.
Yeah. Like, they don't like really evoke Burgers Never Say Die.

They like having like really goofy names. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.
It's strange. I don't, you know.
Whatever happened to Burger King. Thank you.
You know what you're getting. The king of burgers.

Home of the whopper. It makes sense.
Exactly. Yeah.
Yeah. They go a little too.
Wendy's. This guy loves his daughter.
Named his burger place after her. You know what you're getting.
In-and-out burger.

I'm going to go in there. I'm going to get a burger.
I'm going to get out. I know what I'm getting.
No, pollo loco. There's some insanity.
Exactly.

That's a chicken as well.

It's like we know what we're getting there. Yeah.

They've gotten a little too cute. They've got a little too cute.
They've gotta cute. Everyone wants to be on Instagram.
Right. Yeah.
Yeah. Not me.
I don't like it. No?

I like it on there too i like i like i like to i like to follow some wives um wives like housewives

mark you've been to the tooth some chocolate emporium previously i had been once before and when you went was was close to when it opened yes and it's like it was being built because my like i'm an amc a-lister so i go to the city walk a lot right like we were it's always there's always a dearth of restaurant like good places to eat there yeah city walk has it has a for people not in la it has an amc flagship theater and it has one of the only true IMAX screens in the city.

Yeah. Yeah.
So we go a lot, but there used to be a hard rock. We saw, oh, the hard rock one.
Well, what's going in? What's going in? What could it be?

Then we saw something called Tucson Chocolate Emporium and Savory Freeze Kitchen. Like, oh, a steampunk chocolate road.
So we got so excited. Then lockdown happened.
Yes.

So all we had to get us through lockdown, we were just waiting for this stupid theme restaurant to open to try it. So it finally, we waited like two years, I think.

Finally went, had a very mediocre meal, then saw Ant-Man Quantumania. That was my evening.
A tough double bed. That was a tough night.
It was just a lot of disappointment all around.

Who is the mascot? Was the mascot there when you went? They were with the robot. They had the walk-around robot.
So this is a thing that's been discontinued.

And we actually have some video of this here so we can get a taste of what we missed. But they had a

Professor Penelope Tibu Tinker Toothsome and her robot companion, Jacques, used to be walk-around characters. They have since been excised as a cost-saving measure, but here's a little taste of that.

How has Jacques been running? Been running recently?

You can be honest, madam. I can take it.

He's been running off of milk chocolate recently, so

quite smoothly and sweetly. Thank you.
Though, last week. Oh, yes, Lars.

He doesn't love a chocolate, I can also cover beef paint. Sometimes he runs off of dark chocolate.
That is true. I tend to get a bit moody when I was without the dark chocolate.

So we get a taste of it. He's a chocolate-powered robot.
It's very steampunky.

There's the top hat with the steampunk goggles on Penelope, and then there is a bowler hat on.

I guess he's kind of like a jankier sort of Star Wars robot. Like Jock, he's like, you know,

he's a little, he's a big bucket of bolts. He's doing the robot turns over and over.
Yeah, he's definitely physicalizing it like a robot, but he also has a sort of steampunk aesthetic.

I would walk by there during pandemic and the robot would put its hands up on the window and kind of look at me, like look out. And I was like, you're just keeping the robot in there?

I was standing in there.

He was quarantined.

I would say that he sucks, basically. Look, I don't think it's great, but I think that would have enhanced our experience.

I like this guy in the video who's getting a shot of their backs. Yeah, and he's taking a picture of the robot's back.

There's a photo of his drink. He's a selfie of himself with his drink.
Oh, okay.

But there's a patron who's behind the two people, the two characters who are being interviewed, just sitting at the bar. He doesn't like a little dating profile picture he's taking right now.

Catch me a toothum, ladies.

Have some disgusting chocolate-covered bacon with me. Are you swiping right on

the chocolate robot? On Jacques? Yeah, on Jacques. Probably no on Jacques, honestly, because he's an automaton.
Yeah. And I just don't know if man can love machine.

Good question. I mean, I think in our lifetimes, we're going to have to grapple with this reality.
Yeah.

Once robots achieve a certain level of detail and sentience. Put a hole in Jock.
I'm in.

He doesn't even seem to have a mouth, is the thing. How is he chocolate? Yeah, I know.
He can't even really show an expression of happiness. Right.
He has no mouth but must scream.

The basis for that

short story.

I actually don't like a robot in clothes.

Yeah, why does he need a wardrobe? Why is he like, I guess guess they just didn't want to pay for

a full costume so like what's this oh shirt on him that makes it oh i mean maybe it's more comfortable for the performer as well uh because he doesn't have to have like a you know bodysuit underneath there it's not like this is like shape of water or something

yeah you're not a shit yeah that's true he could have he could make it maybe still have the leather on or maybe just the leather alone made him seem too you know like a Like a butcher?

Or yeah, a butcher or like, maybe it was too sexy.

He'd too BDSM. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It'd be a little too much. Uh, yeah, I don't know.
But all I'm saying is, I would swipe right on the steampunk lady. On Penelope, I like Penelope.

She's very Bioshock infinite.

It's a, it's a, like, I, I don't know. I mean, like, I don't understand the kind of generic sort of steampunk tableau that this place operates in.

Well, the good plus, the good side is, is that they, the story is baffling and doesn't make any sense. Should we get into the story? The lore? Yes, the lore.
Okay, so

it's lengthy, it's inscrutable, and it is on a display on the the table. I will read The Story of Toothsome.

Jacques landed the dirigible in front of the small cottage home in London, England. This is how it begins.
So you have no

context for Jock immediately. Who the fuck is it?

Yeah.

Starting right in the middle of it. Professor Dr.
Penelope Tibu Tinker Toothsome, Taylor Soldier Spy, was overjoyed to share her travels, experiences, and experiments with her family.

She quickly stepped from the cockpit of the airship and dashed up the cobble pathway. She threw open the front door, soaking in her childhood home.
Except it was empty.

All that remained was the old Victrola in the corner of the living room. Penelope stepped into her mother's kitchen, recalling the first time she ever tasted chocolate.
There was a song in her head.

She couldn't recall the name of it, but it was French and jazzy. This sucks.
There on the kitchen floor was a note from her parents. Dearest Penelope, we have set out to join you in your adventures.

Surely the world isn't so big that we can't find you. We shall look for you wherever chocolate can be found.
Love, Thomas, and Violette Toothsome. So she is left on a newspaper.

Her parents left a note on the floor. She goes back home.
Her parents have left their home and have left a note informing her that they're searching the world for her.

They're like on a Captain Code treasure tracker. If you thought that she was going to come and check the home, why not just stay there? Stay at the fucking house.
Yeah, shelter in place.

Penelope knew immediately what she had to do. She would take everything she knew about chocolate and develop a fully industrialized, state-of-the-art chocolate emporium.

Until the day she was reunited with her family, she would share her love and knowledge of chocolate with the world. With the old Victrola in her arms, Penelope made her way back to the dirigible.

Jacques quickly lifted them into the air. Again, still have not established that Jacques is even a robot.

They were off to chase their destiny and find the perfect location for the world's foremost chocolate emporium. There would still be discoveries to be made, but she was determined to make them all.

This is the story of Professor Dr. Penelope Tebu Tinker Toothsome, or at least so I've been told.
Oh, a little ambiguity. Yeah.
Who the fuck is telling the story? An unreliable narrator.

Wow. Who's telling the story? Thomas Pinchon novel.
I am Aussie Mendez, King of Kings.

I think this is, it's just like,

I don't know. You're reading this.
Like, what the fuck is this?

But also, it's like, so she basically has created these outposts as like kind of a bug light, as like a honeypot to draw her parents who are scouring the globe trying to find her.

And she's basically like, well, they love chocolate. They'll come to a big chocolate and universal theme park.
I guess. I guess that's the lore behind it.

It sounds like a really stupid family they're all really dumb they're all dumb as they're dumb as rocks and also also if there's ever a robot uprising i want to take jacques he looks like a yeah it looks like i could kick the shit out of him i just feel like i could kick jacques ass oh i thought you meant you wanted jacques

oh no you could take i think i could take i think i could kick his ass yeah i don't think he has very good visibility um and yeah he does look like kind of a uh like a like a dandy i think you could you could take him yeah yeah and there's no and so there's no background on jacques just that he is in this in this it just says jacques it It doesn't even refer to him as the chocolate-powered robot.

It just says Jacques twice. He's powered by chocolate? I think so.
I think that's what she was saying in the arrow. That when you give him dark chocolate, he's more fired.

If he dies with chocolate, he gets dark. Yeah.
So he has like bad days. Oh, that's what it is.
Yeah, I think it was like sometimes he's powered by chocolate. That was some good improv by that.

Yeah. What happens when you eat dark chocolate? I get dark.
Oh, all right. And if there's nuts in it, I get nutty.

What do you think happens?

Minimum wage here. God.
I should have blamed these performers who are like, I don't like doing doing this at all. I had to memorize a Bible for this job.

For what?

Anyway, we know that for a lot of these restaurants, we end up getting... Professor Doctor.

Professor Doctor. Oh, whatever.
It's fine. That's some kid logic, right? Yeah, yeah, it sucks.
It sucks.

We oftentimes get delivery for this podcast for logistics.

And we sat. We went in person to Toothsome Chocolate Emporium because this is that kind of experience.
We did invite Emma, Amelia, and Cesar, and had no takers, no one, zero interest.

It was also the first day of rain. It was a rainy day here in LA, and there was barely anyone in there for lunch.
Now, look, I like going to City Walk. It does feel, we were saying it just

they might need a teardown of City Walk. It is, uh, it's showing its age, it's showing its age quite a bit.
It looks exactly the same as when I first visited, like in the

early 90s, which is so they've frozen it up. All right, it is frozen in time.
I got there, Wags, and

I parked in the structure. And

they were like, there was a bunch of these promotions for the ET sequel. Oh, yeah, because you parked in the E.T lot.

Yeah, I parked in the ET lot, and there were, yeah, there was like promotions for the ET sequel. I'll just show you a photo here.

It's a visual joke.

The visual that no one can see, but it says 2T.

You were parked in section 2T, which was an ad for the ET sequel.

That's the picture in the YouTube video. Look, that crushed at lunch.

That went really well with the rest of the video. It crushed at rehearsal.

We were like, you got to say that on the show. I was realizing I didn't know how to say it.
I think the issue is the picture is too small for it to be picked up.

Deus wasn't helping over there, googling their bullshit, whatever the fuck they were doing. They're busy.
We're busy. I'm labeling the 2T photo for the YouTube video.

I'm writing down the time code of this moment so we can put the phone.

We gotta put it on the socials. All right, here we go.
2T. All right, right, that's one joke out of the way.
We'll get to the next.

We wrote down a few because I thought I was on fire that day, but it turns out maybe you guys were just having a bad day. No, we're having a good time.
Wait, we, our server, and our server was Nicole.

And that was like the, I think, pretty much. And the servers, they all have to wear these, the steampunk regalia.

And my understanding as well is that you can see into the kitchen. And I didn't get a look at it, but apparently the kitchen employees as well have some sort of steampunk regalia.
Yeah.

So it's, they're, they're really laying it on thick with a theming, and that seems to be where they're spending all of their money money on the wardrobe and the art direction because it certainly is in the food.

But our server was Nicole and she was great.

Great, great, like direct, straightforward recommendations, very friendly, very attentive, and was the sort of thing that

was working a shift where Emma, I'm sure you experienced this as a bartender. Thank you for your service, where she was both working behind the bar and serving customer, serving tables.

So kind of double duty. It was sparse in there.
I mean, I'm not saying that it wasn't a hard job. I'm saying like it was pretty dire situation in that restaurant.

No, I would say it was about like an eighth full. Yeah.
There's a top level that it wasn't even.

Yeah, yeah. I would, I would, I like, I think off the top of my head, I think there was like six tables taken, maybe.

Usually with the bartenders waiting tables, they were like, it's going to be a slow day. We'll just send someone home and you can do it all.
And I don't think it was going to, it was a Friday.

It was Friday. It was a Friday, yeah.
And I don't think the night was going to, it was the rain and everything. It just looked.

When I left Predators Badland, nothing was going on in there.

I remember when it first opened, it was busy. Like, when it first opened, because I think people were just like curious.
Yeah, sure.

But now I never see a line. My understanding is that the Orlando location still does quite well.
Like,

there's a lot of business at the Orlando location, but this one is pretty underutilized. I even think the theming isn't like that over the top.

It looks cool from the outside, but once you go inside, it basically feels like a Panera bread that's been themed to steampunk. Right.
The exterior of the structure is what's really

like like that. That's the most impressive.
You're saying good, good

cutlery.

The glassware,

yeah. The glassware is awesome.
Good heft to it. It must be good food if we're praising the cutlery.

We haven't gotten into

the

dog shit meal that we had. Let's talk.
Let's first talk about. I'd rather eat Nick out of Nick Weiger's underwear in the morning.

Sure.

Let's first talk about what was inside that glassware. Our round of cocktails.
I got myself a non-alcoholic strawberry vanilla mint fresca. Mitch, you got yourself the Cocoa Clouds.

And Rennie, you got the espresso teeny. That's true.
The Cocoa Clouds came with a little cotton candy on the side.

This is, there was like a, there was like a, there was like a chocolate oasis or whatever it was that was like a, a dark chocolate version of this.

And I asked which one and she was like, Cocoa Clouds is better.

And it was like white chocolate and Kahlua in there, but it was very, mine was, you, you had a sip of it, very, uh, uh, just tasted like alcohol. Yes.

And like, uh, with it, with a chocolatey drink, I think that I wanted a little bit more, uh,

you know, I needed a little bit more chocolate. If you're there, there is chocolate, but I just wanted that alcohol flavor to be just a little less.

Look, look, as far as individual components go, your drinks were functionally identical.

You both had 360 double chocolate vodka, white chocolate liqueur, and Kahlua. The difference is that Mark's had espresso and yours had Bailey's, and it had the cotton candy garnish.

But yes, if you were eating, if you were consuming the chocolate cocktail at the chocolate restaurant, you want it to be chocolatey. Was yours suitably chocolatey? Yours is much better.

It was pretty good. Mine was decent.
There was like a dust on it, but I don't know what the dust was. Okay.

But I was interested. It may have just been dust.

Maybe it's from Jacques Cattacombs.

I don't know.

They had the three beans on it. Yes.
Because not every place remembers to put the three. I don't know why espresso martinis are meant to have three beans, but they are.
It is fun. It is fun.
Yeah.

My fresco was fine. I mean, this is the thing.

It's kind of indicative of this place's overall problem, which is that there's so many components for each of these menu items that they all end up kind of end up tasting like nothing.

Lemon lime soda, sparkling water, vanilla, strawberry, mint, and lime. So we've got all these things.
We basically got a mojito plus vanilla plus strawberry.

It just is, I mean, it's a word I'll say again. It's just basically ungopachka.
And I just said it had this sort of generic sweetness that I was tasting that I found kind of cloying and overwhelming.

My hats off to Jacques for combining all these flavors and having it taste like nothing.

it's such a i mean like we've we find this out later it's the opposite of willy wonka where it's like all these flavors and then there's a flavor explosion in your mouth and you're tasting all these different things and with jacques here there's so many different flavors and the end result is boring like if jackson pollux sucked yeah 100 i mean that is there's there's and we'll get into it but

the drinks are maybe the highlight of the night. So they didn't have a bar when they first opened, but now they have a bar area.
They also got rid of the gift shop.

There used to be a gift shop, too, that they got rid of. Yeah.
And I'm guessing that the Jacques. No one's buying Toothsome merch.
Yeah, the merch is not selling well.

I wonder how much that goes for now. I listened to the podcast, The Right, episode about Toothsome when they covered the, you know, they did

the City Walk Saga in Orlando, and they were remarking on how expensive all of the merch in the gift shop was. And so I think that was maybe probably part of it.

Is like no one was going in there and spending like $200 on like a bust of Jacques or whatever. It's like, why am I going to do this? Did those guys like it? No,

they absolutely did not. Okay.

They also have a smooth and easy whiskey flight there. I'm just going to describe this because this sounded disgusting to me.

You get a flight of screwball peanut butter whiskey, whiskey Smith salted caramel whiskey, doughball cookie dough whiskey, and whiskey smith chocolate whiskey.

That's just like sweet on, sweet on, sweet on, sweet ones. Disgusting.
It's like, it seems like the clientele should be like 17. You know what I mean?

Like they should be like 17-year-olds. This is your dentist's nightmare.

So we've gotten into the apps and we asked for some recs here and you know, we got steered towards a few things. We got the chocolate almond bread, which is a

it's kind of just like a

you know, not not quite a flat bread. It's a little poofier than that.
It's kind of like a pound cake sort of texture and it comes with a salted caramel butter that is really, really sweet.

Honestly, if this wasn't like stale, I mean, obviously it was frozen and they told told us that it wasn't made in-house.

No, they were like, they were very clear about, hey, this is being, this is made off-site, so you know. I appreciate the transparency.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, but it, but it tasted like it.

It tasted like it arrived in plastic. Yeah.
It tasted like it was made at a dog food factory. It was, uh, it was, it was, it was stale.
I mean, this is one of the better things we had.

This is finished all of it, I think, except for maybe one slice. I think we ate all of it.
The chocolate almond break bread, which is bread, which is, you know, again, very sweet for an appetizer.

It was like a dessert appetizer, and the dominant flavor was that artificial, like, you you know, almond syrup. Like, that's what you were tasting the most of.

But the almond extract, warm stale bread. Warm stale bread.

Sensation. With, with, you know, just like a just sweet on sweet, you're piling on there with a salted caramel butter.
But yes, it was one of the better menu items.

We're just getting this place with faint praise. Melted like chocolate chips can fool you into thinking it's good.
Right. Yes.
And they were like, ooh, it's like gooey. But wait a minute.

Yeah, no, it was in the

in the butter was a little ungapachko, I exist. Yes.

We also got the red hot chocolate wings, which were flash fried with hot chocolate sauce, cher sesame seeds and green onion. Yeah, we should say the hot chocolate sauce is not just hot chocolate.

It also the part of the hot, and I say this is something of a heat seeker, is Frank's red hot. Which almost took away the mystery when she was like, it's Frank's with Frank's chocolate.

And you're like, oh, okay. Like, like, but I'll say this.
This was the saddest thing to me because I thought the sauce actually did work.

And then I thought the chicken was so frozen and then over-fried and bad that, like, you, it just was a bummer again.

The sauce was the only way this place could work conceptually, which is like it's, it's got a chocolate tinge to it, but it's mostly Frank's red hot. You're tasting that bread.

They pulled off the sauce working. No, so surprisingly,

surprisingly, the sauce was not the problem here. It was just the low-quality chicken wings.

It was like whatever like horrible Cisco wings they got that were just tough as hell and like, I think like heated from frozen. They forgot your sesame seeds on them.
Your bed sesame seeds, yeah.

Because I wouldn't have been able to eat them. Yeah.
So I clocked that. Yeah.
And I saved it to judge them later right now.

I don't like when there's so much sauce, though, that you can't see the wing through the skin under it. You know what I mean? I can.
There's so much thick sauce that starring the sauce. Yeah.

There was like a second where I bit into that wing and I was like, this might be fun. And then, you know, we'll see what happens.

No, then it was like, well, no, this is kind of, I mean, this is edible. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But again, that's, that's like the most you can hope for here. The onion rings.
Okay.

So again, I think the thing that this place does best is just it has decent fryer work. Like, like, I feel like.
Well, even the, the wings were over fried.

So the wings were over fried, but I think the onion rings were pretty well fried. And the fries later were well fried.
That said,

zero seasoning. No.
And you run into this a lot at chain restaurants where they're either, everything's either salty as hell or it's just completely unseasoned.

And this was the the case where and there wasn't even table salt where you could adjust it with so it was just like insane

like totally flavorless onion rings that just had a good crispness to them a good fry a good amount of breading um but that it comes with a spicy chocolate aioli dipping sauce which i thought was disgusting Yes, the one sauce that it came with was gross.

It's really fucking nasty. It's one of those things that you dip it once and you're like, I don't want to dip it in this again, but there is no other sauce.
There was no other sauce.

We got some ketchup eventually and we're using the ketchup, but even the ketchup, I was like, this is also sweet. Everything on this table is sweet.
Give me some ranch or something.

It made me think, like, no seasoning on the table. It's like, this place, like, secretly run by like Mormons or something? Like, right? Is there some like religious thing happening?

Like, are we not allowed to season food? Is Jacques the Mormon God? I have seven wives.

Wives also, by the way, was screaming.

Everything on this table is sweet. He was screaming this out loud in the restaurant.
Can a man get some ranch? You were screaming that as well.

And you can't. We didn't get any ranch.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were the ketchup was the way to get out of it, but it was.

But also, even dipping it in the ketchup, they were so unseasoned.

And no salt on the table is insane. Just bereft of flavor.
A completely unseasoned win.

No seasoning on anything. Isn't seasoning? Like, seasoning is like cheap.
Yeah. I like that.
Yeah, I think salt and pepper is not that expensive. What do I mean? Raisin canes? Give me some seasoning.

Shots fired at raising canes.

I agree with you.

It needed salt. Yeah.

That said, these were all relatively okay.

The thing that was just absolutely execrable and inedible was the chocolate-covered bacon.

Listed under sides, not apps. And we asked our server, hey, there's chocolate-covered bacon and there's chocolate-covered pickles.

And she was like, well, the chocolate-covered bacon works better was about as much as she would give us. And so we got the chocolate-covered bacon.
I'm mostly not eating pork.

So this is like a big, you know, like me like, hey, like, like, like, fuck it, we'll do this for science.

Tasted like absolute dog shit. It was disgusting.
I called it a dog's death row meal because

a bacon cover. It tasted like a dog.
First of all, it tasted like a dog treat. It did.
But it tasted like a dog treat covered in chocolate. And it was cold.

It was cold. It was cold bacon.
Ew. It was, it was, it was hot.
It was

the only way that it could be otherwise a chocolate tree. Yeah.
Yeah. But

like snack and bacon with like a chocolate dip or something. There you go.
That'd be what at least it's. Or a candied bacon, maybe.
Oh, there you go. We already have the chocolate aioli.

We've established that. So maybe some chocolate dipping sauce, but they really want to do the chocolate coating.
It's really hard to fuck up bacon, I feel like.

Yeah, you end up with this limp, like... That and 2T, the two things I wrote down.
The dog's death row meal.

2-T was good.

But Deus wasn't paying attention. Yeah, they still did it.

This limp, cold, Subway-caliber bacon that is covered in just a really low-quality chocolate as well. Yes, the chocolate sucked.
There was nothing about it that was good.

And then I got a sandwich that came with the chocolate covered pickle. Yeah, so we did go try that.
We all tried it. And to jump ahead just a bit to this, it tasted like barf.
It was disgusting.

Really fucking nasty. Yeah.
It was rough.

It was rough. It was just was not, it was, it was not good.

Well, because I said this, I know, I pointed this out also on the restaurant. uh but there was uh a fly up on the window and uh it was never trying to get any of the food

it was just sitting there you saw it it was sitting there trying to probably get out of

trying to get out of the chocolate emporium. It was, it did not seem happy.
Moving on to the mains. So I got the spicy Hawaiian double smash burger.
And again, I'm something of a heat seeker.

Two smashed beef patties, grilled pineapple and red pepper, hot honey, spicy barbecue sauce. I got, you get with either steak fries or tots.
I got tots.

Mitch and Renny, you both got steak fries. Mitch, you got the fried chicken BLT,

which had the aforementioned chocolate dip pickle pickle

in addition to tomato, the chicken breast, tomatoes, bib lettuce, pickles, bacon, mustard aioli, and toasted brioche. And Mark, you got the classic club sandwich.

I took my bib lettuce and I stuck it into my shirt. You're like, it's not that sort of lettuce.
And I, well, whatever. I tried something.
I liked it.

Sliced hammed and roasted turkey, bacon, butter, lettuce, tomato, Swiss cheese, mayo, griddle, country, white bread. You know, I took your butter lettuce and I spread it on my almond bread.

There we go.

See, we're trying.

We're trying.

We're fucking trying. We're trying.
Bib lettuce, not great, but I tried it. And you guys can listen to it and say, I didn't like that, but I tried something for you.

And look, I wish that the, I mean, the chocolate emporium, this is the thing. It's kind of not even trying.
Like, like, like, there's. There's not a lot of like chocolate entrees.
Yes.

This is the thing. And also, by the way, there is like a, like a,

what is the, the, the Mexican dish that's the mole. There's a mole.
Yeah. Why is there no chicken mole on the menu? That seems like a slam dunk.
I think the issue there is that mole

requires some like craft and technique to make properly. And they're just like, what's the cheapest? Our standards are too high.
Exactly.

If we're not going to do it well, we're not going to do it all. Yeah.
Also, can't there be more steamed things? That's funny. Some poke.
Some dumplings or something? Chocolate dump.

Steamed chocolate dumplings. There you go.
Dessert dumplings. There you go.
That feels off theme in a couple of ways. Anyway, Thai fun.

That's what I'm saying.

Jacques is shitting them out. You eat them.

Eat my droppings.

The burger I had was really gross.

So, like, there's just there, again, Unga Poska components. Your burger was maybe the worst entree.
It was really fucking bad.

I did end up just eating the beef in isolation because I was like, this kind of, at least I'm getting the protein here, like ultimately. But like, like, the, the, first off, it's a brioche spun.

I think they were all on brioche, right? Yeah, uh, or no, yours was on, yours on

grilled bread, but like, the brioche is just like,

it's too much. There's too much bread here, and it's also just like such like a, it feels like an early aught sort of uh execution.
We can have an Edison lamp too in here,

and then and then there's just like too many components on this thing, and again, it somehow ended up tasting like absolutely nothing, it wasn't spicy or sweet.

That was the same issue with my uh, my fried chicken club. It was like, okay, I like the components on here.

It had that awful, the bacon was the low-quality bacon that was covered in chocolate, but it was warm.

But it would just, I was shocked at how little it tasted like anything. Yeah.
It just was very, very boring. Right.
My club had turkey and ham, which I thought was strange to have.

I always think it's a little weird to have two species at once. Ham's a weird choice for a club sound, right? But I would gotta say, yours by far the best.

Which is not saying it shouldn't. A chocolate restaurant shouldn't be depressing.
Yes. Yes.
And it was extremely fanciful. It also shouldn't work like imagination.

The closest thing to a conventional menu item is the thing that's most edible. You know what I mean?

It's just like, okay, you can do a club sandwich fine. I mean, I'm sure your chicken Caesar salad is okay as well, but like, this isn't why I'm coming here, you know?

I will say City Walk seemed depressing just amongst the rain. It was like, it was depressing all the way.
There was that weird production store,

production central that was in the dark and people were going in there in the dark. It was a rough City Walk day all around.
It just seemed like things were not working there.

And being in this big, empty restaurant that also was just kind of gray and the food fucking sucked. Yeah.
This is, this is maybe my, this is up there for worst meals of the year. Thank you, Mark.

You're welcome. I think this is the worst overall meal of the year from a food quality standpoint.

But anyway, we, we, we kind of enjoyed the cocktails. We endured the savory side.
And that glassware. The glassware.
We love glassware. We love the glassware.

But now we are getting to the piece des résistance, the chocolate emporium side, the dessert menu. Okay, now we're going to have some fun.
Now, this is the reason people come here.

So they have a wicked for good milkshake as an LTO, which we decided to get. This berry and Granny Smith appleshake.

So it's kind of like a pink-green swirl, emerald rock candy, and a whipped topping, which is also a pink color, same coloration as the berry part of the milkshake. And we got a brownie sundae.

Oh, come on. They're going to knock out the brownie sundae, right? Chocolate ice cream, chocolate chips, chocolate syrup, Oreo crumbs, and chocolate whipped topping.
Chocolate five ways. Here we go.

This is going to be a home run.

They both were. They sucked.
They both sucked. They were fucking chicken.

They fucking sucked. And Ice Cream Sunday sucked.
I didn't even know it was possible. Do you think they brought the brownie in? Like they bring the bread in, or do they make that there?

The brownie did not seem baked in-house. It also seemed a little bit older, and it was not warm.
It wasn't warm. Yeah.
A brownie sundae, the brownie's not fucking warm.

I feel like a chocolate emporium house to at least make their brownie.

There's nothing else. I agree.
The brownie was like tough. It would like it was hard to get a piece of it.

There was this chocolate whipped cream on top of the ice cream, and then it also tasted like what the ice cream tasted like. Everything tasted the same.
Everything tasted the same.

It was a fucking big bowl of shit. It sucks.
So you're just getting textural variants, but you weren't getting any flavor variants. Everything kind of tasted the same.

It looked like Nick's Wet Dream. It did.
It did.

It looked like Wags. It did look like Wet Day.

But there's also one fun item name. It was like Madame Tuna Melt.

Or Tuna Melt Madame? Yeah, no, you're right. They don't, they, I mean, I don't want to see her one woman show.

But that was the only fun one.

No, it's the, it's the sort of thing where they could lean into it a little bit more, and they somehow, uh, like I'll bring up the menu here, uh, but they somehow just like half-assed even the names of everything.

Are you happy? We went to the restaurant. Everyone gets mad at us and not go to the restaurant.
We got a big shitty bowl of Sundaes. This guy's beefing in isolation.

He's got to take his beef patties out of his fucking sandwich.

This sucks. Can you imagine them having this food like DoorDash, though? Like this food, that's like the saddest meal.

By the way, we didn't even talk about how shitty the fucking wicked shake was. The wicked shake was the wicked shake was awful.

I think that was like, as far as the worst thing I had, it was either the wicked shake or the chocolate covered bacon. I think I'd rather have the wicked shake because at least it's like a milkshake.

But it was also like, like, it was, it was so

pungently tart that it was really unpleasant.

Also, if they promoted that as the play-doh shake, it was like, it's like play-doh, but edible. I'd be like, I believe it.
It would make

better. It was disgusting.
Yeah. Everything was

sucked. It sucked.
Hated it. Yeah.

Yeah. Really, really bad meal.
I did get a black coffee, which was okay. Okay.
And that Coke zero. And we got a Coke Zero and they were good.

They don't have a specialty coffee menu. So I asked at the end, I was like, do you do like an espresso or lattice? And they're like, no, we just have coffee.
I was like, I got a coffee.

But I got a little mini French press. That was nice.
Nicole, and Nicole properly, properly, you know, like let it steep for me so it was ready to pour when it got to the table. I like that.

Yeah, sure. That was good.

I'm trying to

give some highlights here. But the chairs were comfy.
The chairs were comfy. They weren't.
The table never collapsed. That's true.

And I did lay down on it for a while. The restaurant wasn't on fire.
Yeah. So no one said anything.
That's only because it was raining.

Yeah, probably. Yeah.
There were no slurs. There was, yeah.

From the staff. From the staff.

We said a lot.

Wise, you know, my cat's Wally Nirma. I love him very much.
You know a thing Wally does now, I told you, is he can open doors now. Yes.

But you know what's funny is that he always is opening the doors when I'm in the shower. I think he likes the hot mist in the steam of the shower.

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We're all out of the ordinary.

We should get to our final thoughts on Toothsome Chocolate. So, Mark, you know the show, but just a refresher, we'll each go around.

We'll give our closing argument, if you will, and give it a score from zero to five forks. You are a guest.
We'll begin with you. Okay.
Your thoughts, your fork score for Toothsome Chocolate Emporium.

It was terrible. Yeah.

And like, if you're going to be a themed restaurant, you have to get the restaurant part right at the bare minimum and then they also don't get the theming right either it's nothing magical about this the food is terrible i would never go back yeah

one seems generous

i mean one for the staff

the glassware sure that's fine yeah for the that glassware glassware is nice the glassware is nice maybe just go and like touch the glassware and then leave yeah I'm sure they'll let you do that.

Even one seems like too much, though. You can go less than one.

Half half a fork, two times, yeah, two tines. That feels fitting.
Two times. Wow, mostly for the glass.
And I've only gone two times. So here we go.
That works. Uh, Mitch, what do you think? Um, hmm,

I didn't like it. Yeah, uh, I didn't like anything about it.
I liked the company. That was a great time.
I had a good time and I went and saw a movie afterwards. So it wasn't a loss of a day.

It was a grim day over there at at uh at at City Walk. I also felt terrible afterwards.
I did feel really bad. That's that's i about midway through predator badlands i i uh i

i almost had a wigger wet dream um i had to i had to i

wd yeah

um i

wise i'm just gonna say it zero forks yeah

zero forks folks bad bad i mean like it did it they it was horrible yeah it's it's up there as as some of the worst food i've ever had on the podcast

As far as an Eric's experience. I feel bad.
I want Jacques to be good.

I'm not trying to show you. Jacques' not even there anymore.
Jacques's been there.

Jacques's been powered down. He's been decommissioned.
He's collecting dust.

Then

what are we doing here? I mean, like, look. Philip got executed.
Oh, shit.

For war crimes?

Just buried in international waters. I think you were saying the bare minimum is having food that kind of works.
Yeah. And they do not, they don't,

they don't do do it.

As far as experiential concepts that do not come together, it's reminded me of two places. One we went to this year, Mitch, in New York City.

We wasted one of our meals at Planet Hollywood, which was, which was similarly awful, but the food was better than this. Oh, my God.
Yes. But that said, the theming was nothing.

And this at least feels like it has some effort in the theming, I guess. Like the, you know, the interior.
There was one top hat behind glass. Yeah, there's kind of something going on, I guess.

I'm giving it zero force, but the staff was nice. The staff was nice.
The service was great.

The other place this reminds me of is Pirate Dinner Adventure.

And that food was bad. That food was really, really bad.
Like basically inedible. I think this food is maybe worse than Pirate Dinner Adventure.

And also, we didn't get a Pirate Stunt Show. You know what I mean? So like we're missing that element.
So it's like definitely a worst experience.

I'd definitely go back to Pirate Dinner Adventure 10 times before I went back to

some chocolate emporium once. And this is the double thing.

Also, it's cynical. Universal stole it from this guy who was stealing it from someone's girlfriend from Swanca.

Or stealing it from his daughter, either way. Yes.
Anyway, here's the thing. You're at Universal City Walk.
You're at the Toothsome Chocolate Emporium in Savory Feast Kitchen.

From our vantage point, from where we were sitting, I knew we were right next to a Cinnabon. We could see a Menchi's and a Voodoo Donut.

And this is a dessert specialty restaurant where we spent over $200 on lunch. If we'd gone to Voodoo Donut or Cinnabon or Menchis, we would have had a better dessert experience.
100%

it would have just been more enjoyable. Not that I'm even like the biggest fan of any of those places.
You know, Cinnabon, I probably like the most, but it's just like

there's so many food options here, and this might be the worst one in the entire shopping standpoint. It's bad when you're like really culinary standpoint.

When you're like, I wish I was at Margaritaville. Yeah, exactly.
Margaritaville would be better. I would trade Margaritaville.
It would be so much better. I wouldn't have to see concessions.

A thousand percent.

I've never been to the NBC Sports Grill. I'd rather go back to the NBC Sports Grill over this.

I'd rather go outside and lap from a puddle.

It was horrible.

In a rainy day, it would be better. It was sucked.

It was one of those lids. I mean, yes.

Or plastic bad stew or soup. Anything.
It was fucking awful-wise. It was truly disgusting, but I do like that it's kind of vaguely steampunky.
And I did like the glassware.

So I will go and give it one time.

Wow. One time.
Yeah. A quarter four.
Wow. Yeah.

Really bad for Broken Play Club.

In the Broken Play Club. This is this.
I'm glad I waited five years.

You know what? We're mad at you because of this. Fair enough.
After what I did to Muppet Christmas Carol, I deserve it. It's true.

Rough stuff. Really awful.
All right. Hey, that was a review of Toothsome Chocolate Emporium and Savory Feast Kitchen.
It's time for a segment.

In which Mitch and Mark are given a frame from a movie involving a food item and must guess which film it's from.

This

is Frank Check. Hit it, Emma.

Frank Check with Mitchell and Weiger.

Frank Check with Mitchell and Weiger. Don't know what film foodstuffs to expect.

All you need to know is that the name of the segment's Frank Check.

Okay, we'll each see a frame and then you can buzz in with your name and whoever guesses correctly first will get a point. Okay.
Let's get to the first slide here. I love it.
Mitch.

It is.

Fuck. Are you fucking you don't know? I know it.
This is a this is I do know it. For audio listeners, this is a still from an animated film.

And it's it's Miyazaki, and it is not Hollow's Moving Castle, but it is the big, famous Miyazaki. That's the best one, and I can't remember it.
And the name of it is.

The name of it is really interesting.

It's one of my wives I just saw in the last couple years. Okay.
None of these are the title.

Oh, no. Wait.
Oh, no. I'm getting it wrong.
Spirited away. Do we give it to him? You are correct.
What do you mean do you give it to me? I got it. I know, but you just said

there was so much thinking out loud.

I guess we give it to you.

Mitch gets a point. Spirited away.
Fair enough.

I know. We need to start a clock when the clock runs out, right?

All right, that's fair. We can do a clock rule from here on out.
Because then I could just say, whoever says your name the fastest, and then you just stall.

Yes. Is that your favorite Miyazaki? What's your favorite Miyaikooko? It's up there.
I like Princess Mononoke. I like Princess Mononoke.
That's my number one, but I like the wind rises as well.

There's so many great, great options.

An incredible, incredible family. Bare minimum made me think of, when you were saying bare minimum, it made me think of a website with like big guys that kind of look shit.
Little towels.

That's better. Small hogs, big guys, bare minimum.

Bareminimum.com. That's Doughboys.

Cover themselves with moist tollettes. Yeah.

Doughboys property. Doughboys property.
That's owned by Doughboys now.

All right. We have a

close-up shot of a slab of meat held by a gloved hand. This looks like our experience at Toothsome Top Factory.
There's some sort of culinary

implement.

I'll just say that. Okay,

it's some sort of meat-like object, but it's some sort of

brown food stuff that's on a plate.

I have no idea. Perhaps a piece of cake might be cake.

And this is from live action.

Oh.

I'm just, people are listening to this.

They're not looking at the fucking video.

Just going off the mark. Yes.
Just going off. This is wrong, but the Italian job? There's no way.
It's not the Italian job, but but

I appreciate the spirit of the guess.

I don't know what it is either. I'm just going to guess Mitch Pink Floyd's the Wall.
It's not Pink Floyd's The Wall. It is the 1996 adaptation of Matilda.

Oh, see?

I was just a little too old for Matilda. I should have gotten that sort of walk.

I've just gotten it a thousand times as a kid. I should have gotten though.

You know, the kid, the one kid, that one kid eats a lot of it, right? Yeah, that's the chubby boy. The book.
Did either of y'all y'all read the book? I did read the book. I love the book.

More rolled doll. Yeah.
You're right. More rolled doll.

Wow.

Nice bit of synergy. Nice anti-semite context.

All right. Let's look at the next one.

Mark. I heard Mark.
Weapons. You are correct.
It is weapons. This is the hot dog tray scene from weapons.
A very fun scene.

Seven hot dogs.

Some cookies, some baby carrots, and some ruffles with some dip. Do they get to enjoy this or is their meal interrupted? I think they start to eat it, and then

I think it gets interrupted.

Yeah, right.

But that said,

those hot dogs are looking good. I mean, that looks good as hell.
Yeah. I like it.
Would you pre-mustard a hot dog, though? Isn't that dealer's choice? Well, here's the thing.

This is a, you know,

a domestic partnership, a married couple, I believe. And they have like, I think they probably know each other's tastes.
Yeah. So it's like, I'm presenting this the way I know you like it.

Also, they're not fucking after this.

That is for sure. No way.

All right. Mark gets a point.
It's tied at 1-1. Next up,

we have a live-action shot of a couple of glasses of wine. Mark.
Being John Malkovich? Mark is correct.

Wow, being Mark. And yet stream it around the side, the edges, the sort of circular POV is the tell that it is being John Malkovich.
And a shout out to movieclips.com. They do amazing work.

They do amazing work. Mark has two.
Mitch has one.

Thank God I stalled on that one. I haven't fucking gotten one since.
All right, next up. He's a movie maestro over here.
He's the

Mark. I heard Mark.
Little Shop of Horrors. You are correct.
It is Little Shop of Horrors.

And this is the thing I did. I told you he's.
You're good. Man knows this movie.
I love this movie. I have to say this movie.
This is my favorite movie. Really?

It's so good. Really? Yeah, this is my favorite movie handset.
It came up in conversation because we were talking about Wicked and Wicked for Good, and you talked about

this is a musical and just the way it was paced. Yeah, just like Wicked, there's like a song and then 20 minutes of boring talking and then another song, but like Little Shop, but just like moves.

Like one song ends.

They just showed it at Videots a few months ago. Oh, that's awesome.
On film, even. Wow.
I'd never seen it on the big screen before. It was great.
Oh, I never heard it.

The original ending or the darker ending? I prefer the darker ending. It's so much better.
It's so cool. So much better.
What's the darker ending? Basically. She more like eats the world, right?

The plans take over the world. They're like kaiju.
They like, and the mod, the puppetry is incredible. You can watch it on YouTube.
Probably movieclips.com has. Oh,

I didn't know it was out there. Did they change it for like kids? Or

the test audiences rejected it. It's like closer to the Broadway show's ending, like this dark, cynical ending of like capitalism run amok.

But they're like, no, we wanted the happy ending. For audio listeners, this is a shot of a couple of trays of a classic TV dinner before the microwave era when these arrived in like foil containers.

Put them back a subdivided thing with some corn niblets. It looks like a brownie, some sort of mash, and then

like a fried chicken or some sort of tendy. Put them back in the foil.
Put them back in the foil. I will get a fucking TV dinner that you put in the oven.
That's fun. All right, Mark has three.

Mitch has one, but it's still anyone's game because we have a couple questions left. Next up.

Ooh. Mitch.
I heard Mitch. Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
It is not Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Rats.

For audio audio listeners, we are looking at some sort of decrepit domicile, an old fridge with a whole bunch of discarded things in front of it. Oh,

no.

I don't know, but I'll get a Mark. I'll guess.

This is wrong. Seven? It's not seven, but it is that sort of visual aesthetic.

Second movie in a trilogy,

not X, but the one after X.

No, it is absolutely. It is not Pearl.
It's not Pearl. No, no.
This is this movie that what you're looking for, if you remember the Motorhead song and Lemmy's famous words. Hellraiser.

This is Hellraiser. Hellraiser? 1987's Hellraiser.
Damn.

All right, Mark has one. Hellraiser, too.
Mitch has one. I didn't get that.
Me too. Mark's going to win, but we have one question left.
Bonus question.

What food stuff do the whale and point break have in common?

Meatball subs. Mitch, you are correct.
It is meatball subs. Yeah.

We have a shot of Brendan Frazier in the fat suit with the meatball sub and then Gary Busey pressing a meatball sub.

My favorite part of the whale is when the delivery man finally sees the whale and he's been delivering Italian subs and pizzas to this guy and he's like shocked that he's fat. Yeah.

The delivery man's fat. What?

That's such boy. I hated that moment so much.
Well, that's the other thing. This dude lives in Idaho and it's just

in America. Like, like, like, have you ever seen a fat person? I know.
You could go to like a casino. And he's the Spartan final or go to any casino and see someone this size.

He's a delivery guy who's leaving the pizza outside of his house the whole movie. And then you see him, you're like, oh, oh, my God.

Same bullshit. The same thing happens when he puts on his Zoom camera at the end, and all of his students are like, oh, my God, look, he's fat.
And it's just like, all right.

Yeah, I guess he's a little heavy. Welcome to America.

I don't know. I saw that movie in the, I was in one of the Cinema Score wins.
It was like, oh, yes. I was like, gave it a D.
I was like so thrilled to give this like prestige movie.

I was like, I can't wait to be.

It pissed me off. That motherfucker floats.
You can find

the worst daughter ever put to film. Yeah.
She goes and kills her dad, and he fucking floats. Yeah.
He walks, though, right before he floats. He walks and then he floats.
Yeah.

We should all be so lucky. He died for our chin?

Fuck, that's good.

We like Brennan Frazier. We like Brandon Frazier.

Bring back the mummy. They are, apparently.

Mark wins. Rachel Dice.

Just like a restaurant feedback. Let's up with the feedback.
Today's email is from Sean from Vermont.

Sean writes, All the pickle and sandwich talk in the recent Zach Cherry Jimmy Johns episode got me thinking about a staple in my house growing up, the peanut butter and pickle sandwich.

I've heard of this. I've never actually had one.
My grandfather, born in 1924, loved two interesting sandwiches, actually. A peanut butter and pickle sandwich and an onion and butter sandwich.

Literally just sliced raw onion between two pieces of butter bread. That sounds good to me.
I'd try that. That's like depression-era food.

My understanding is that these were staples for him and his brother during the Great Depression. I grew up eating them occasionally, and they remain comfort food for me today.

My question for you all is: Are there any unique foods that an older person from a bygone era introduced you to that you still have a fondness for?

Thanks from the bottom of my heart for keeping me company twice a week while I trudge through life up here in the cold, dark woods. Oh, good.
Okay, Sean.

Sounds like he's going through the Great Depression himself.

Why would it send an email?

Doesn't it suck that the Great Depression, like

it's a good name for a dark time.

The Great Depression.

But also like

the last 10 years have sucked shit. We don't get to say this, it's been the depression.
The Greater Depression. Yeah, it's fucking sucks.
The greatest depression. They were poor.

I know it was hard or whatever. And they had to vote, whatever.
They had to eat onion sandwiches. At least they didn't have internet trolls.

We're now at a time where I just feel like

economic growth is so completely untethered from people's day-to-day reality, right?

It's like the economy is like, it's so hyper-optimized that they're just like, honestly, we're just going to keep making money.

We just don't care what actually is happening to anybody. You know,

it feels like everything's so bad. It feels like everything's broken, but somehow the stock market continues to go up.
Like, I don't fucking know. I don't know how it works.

But here at Doughboys, we care. Yeah.
We do care about it. We do.
Right, Wages? We care about it. We care.

So, okay, I'm trying to think of this. This is a little bit of a tricky prompt.

It's an older person who introduced you to something that's maybe a little bit antiquated that you ended up developing a fondness for.

One thing I can think of, and it's making me think of my grandfather on my mom's side,

who really liked a Monte Cristo sandwich. Oh, sure.
Which is like a deep-fried sandwich that I probably would have never tried if it wasn't for him mentioning it.

And what I like, it's a fucking heavy sandwich. It is like essentially like your club sandwich, but it's, you know,

like kind of coated like French toast and then deep fried. And then you dip it in some sort of.

But it's good as hell. It's just like a day ruiner.
But yeah, I used to, I think that's probably the closest thing I have to an answer.

I guess cream of wheat also I kind of got into a little bit, like which feels like kind of like an older generation sort of breakfast.

I, you know what I don't see too much? Like egg, like eggs in a hole or toad in a hole. Oh, sure.
And or dropped what we called it in my house forever was dropped egg on toast, which was just like a

poached egg put it on a piece of toast. Right.
And I really love that.

But I'll tell you one that is more antiquated that I used to have as a boy, and this made me feel like a little fancy New England boy, but a soft-boiled egg. Oh, sure.

Where it would be like in that little egg holder.

How fun is that? It was a lot of fun. Did you cut the top off? You cut the top off and then you're eat.
It's a very, it feels like very English or something. Like it feels just old school.
Yeah.

But I liked the soft boiled egg.

I had a good time with soft boiled eggs. One thing I could think of is like a cheese.
My mom used to make a cheese ball. Oh, cheese balls.
That's yeah. Yeah.

You're like rolling and walnuts and with like a little, there's like some sort of horseradish maybe in with the cheese.

I feel like that was probably antiquated by the time we were eating it, even in the 80s.

No, I remember, I remember my grandma would make that, and that was like a fun sort of like, oh, this is a little Thanksgiving appetizer.

This is on the table. So I wasn't expecting this.
This is the thing I have once a year. I wasn't expecting this.
Yeah.

Dace, do you guys have anything that's old school like that?

I don't know if it's necessarily old school, but my grandfather loved peanut butter and bacon sandwiches, and he would make those all the time.

And it's like one of those things that every once in a while, I'm like, that sounds so cozy and delicious. Yeah.
But I don't know if that's really that old.

You don't see too many peanut butter and bacon sandwiches. A.M., you got anything? I don't know, buttered toast.

Not a bad answer. I love butter toast.
It is old. It's old.
It is for sure old. Mike, did the cheese ball mention bring back any memories? It did.
I remember my grandfather would always come over.

And my grandfather was coming over, my mom would buy two things. Miracle Whip and Early Times whiskey, which I found is really shitty whiskey.

But

every once in a while, I kind of want to go buy early times just to remember my grandma. Yeah, right.

And the Miracle Whip, I remember. I used to love when my grandfather would leave.
Like, oh, now I can make these great cheese sandwiches, which now I know is a shitty way to make a cheese sandwich.

Use best foods. Right.
But when you're a kid, I think, you know, different. But I remember those two things.
The tangy zip of Miracle Whip. Now I'm a Duke.

Miracle Zip was a thing in my grandparents' house, too. Yeah.

Dukes'. Was Miracle Whip a big.
Was it a big? It was a big with a blue lid. Oh, right.

Yeah. But it tasted slightly different from

the tip. It's different.
It's definitely different.

Let's do a Miracle Whip episode. Yeah, we'll do a Miracle Whip episode.
Hell yeah.

When we were talking nocturnal emissions earlier, did I already tell this story that I woke up and Wally was doing a little,

he was making biscuits right over my crotch. Did I tell you this?

Wally was making biscuits right over my crotch and I woke up with a boner? Did I tell it? Did I stop all this?

He was like, he did something. You know what?

He's got to be in there somewhere.

If you have a question or comment

of Chain Restaurants, you can email us at feedback at birdfuck.com. We'll leave his mail.
830 Godo. That's 830463684.

For our producers, Emma Erdbrink, our associate producer, Amelia Marino, our video editor is Mike Dorfman. Doughboys MerchantKinshipGoods.com.

And the Doughboys Double, our weekly bonus episode, plus our entire pre-2018 back catalog, is over at patreon.com/slash Doughboys. Our guest, Mark Rennie.
The great Mark Rennie.

And the great Marketing. This is so fun.
Thank you for having me. Mike, thank you so much for being here.
What a hoot.

We're happy you're okay, for God's sake.

Yeah, Jesus. I'm happy I'm okay, too.
Thanks for having me. Of course.
This was so fun. Do you have anything you'd like to plug? Well, the restaurant sucked.
The restaurants. The restaurants sucked.

We had a good time hanging out at lunch. It was really, really bad.
It was awful. One of the worst meals I've had in years.

I do a monthly podcast with Dan Lippert on comedy Bang Bang World called Eat Pray Dunk. You can listen to.
You've done it. I had a blast.
You've done it. Yeah.

Other than that, I would say donate to the Trevor Project. That's a crisis line for LGBTQ youth in crisis.
So give them some money. There you go.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's all I'll say.

And love Dan Lippeter as well.

What a combo. You can't do anything for youth youth in crisis.

Tis, tisk, Dan.

No, no, no.

I'll do it for this episode of Doughboys. Until next time for the Smooth Man, Mike Mitchell.
I'm Tiger Wire. Happy eating.
See ya.

That was a hit gum podcast.