#426 - Writing Sid, UNESCO Accents and Condemned to a Life of Seeing Clearly

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Welcome to the Ellis James and John Robbins Show.

Bienvenue aux spectacale de l'es James et Jean Robin.

Ville comen sur Ellis James and John Robbins Show.

Bienvenedo sal programme de Ellis James y John Robbins.

Robbins.

G'day Sheilas and Flaming Galas and Chucky Yachas on the Ellis James and John Robbins show.

That's right, Ellis and John have gone global.

After a disgruntled BBC employee leaked statistics about our show that revealed we get 2 million downloads a month, we've decided that the only option, like Starlight Express and Puppetry of the Penis Before Us, is to franchise Ellis and John across the world.

Starting with a six-month residency at Caesars Palace Las Vegas, the show will then roll out across Australia, New Zealand before opening simultaneously on Broadway and in Basingstoke.

Wow.

Auditions to play Ellis, John and Dave have been competitive, with only those who truly get our unique banter earning the right to step on stages that bear our names.

Or almost our names.

It's important to reflect local humour and cultural differences.

In Australia, for example, it's Ellis, Davo and Johno.

And we've replaced Cymry Connection with a new Australian feature, Dingos and Drongos.

And Mad Dad's has been renamed The Old Man's Gone Crook.

In Germany, the changes are even more drastic.

Dave will be played by none other than legend David Hasselhoff.

Yes.

John by leading intellectual Andreas Dorschel.

And Ellis by a cartoon goose named De Vogel de Schlemping entingschaun.

Literal translation.

The sloppy bird of disappointment.

But the drinks are on us because despite tickets changing hands for hundreds of pounds, like all franchise live performances, the pay is dreadful and the working conditions abject.

Hassel Hoff has already complained about having to share digs with the sloppy goose's animator Wolfgang, but his agent is confident that an extra 50 euros a week and his own set of towels should seal the deal.

Nice.

Well, they were talking about making this into a hologram show like Arba Voyage with this Ellison John hologram.

And people would pay to see it.

The credit score experience.

Yes.

What a sandwich.

Yeah.

Yes.

We are still in the throes of credit score drama, aren't we?

I suppose.

It will not be solved until 8 a.m.

tomorrow, according to Top Brass at a leading credit reference agency.

Because of a confusion about my address.

Yeah, because some

not my fault.

Honestly,

all the times you said I was bad were not bad.

Yeah, you're not bad.

I compared you to someone who was sniffing glue between podcasts.

You did, yeah.

Because someone I know sniffs glue has got a credit rating that's that's better than yours, John.

Not from 8 a.m.

tomorrow.

So, as long as I don't need to buy a house before 8 a.m.

tomorrow, I'm okay.

Because on Friday's podcast, we had a lovely, very edifying conversation with someone from a credit score rating agency.

I remember very little of Friday's podcast.

Yes, you lost your mind, I think, for a little while.

Fair to say.

I was in a classic admin spiral.

I had written checks I couldn't cash by opening a credit score account with a company I not previously I had previously had one had but hadn't updated it since 2013 because I'd switched to a different credit because your admin's not great is it and I couldn't just one of those things I couldn't leave that hanging day yeah yeah

and things get on top of you and you just you just bury your head in the sand no I don't that's the opposite of what I did what I did was what you put your head out of the sand yeah yeah well my head's never been in the sand you raked the bracket away from your head I'd love to cover my eyes but I am

I am condemned to a life of seeing clearly.

Yeah.

It's like a biblical parable.

It is.

It is.

Oh, dear.

But still, John's back from 8 a.m.

tomorrow.

His credit rating will be moderate.

No, it will be perfect.

Will it?

Well, it'll be better than

I got it from Porta Fair.

Yeah.

Anyway, I don't know how Friday's episode went down, so people might find this very boring.

So we should probably stop talking about this.

Yes, yes, yes.

That's a cracking idea i

cycled from swansea to newport on sunday oh you did the british art foundation and it was an absolutely fantastic day just me and lee trundle really yeah oh my god lovely lee trundle talk to me about trunds oh is he tell me who he is he is all i know is he said he was coming to your stag do and then pulled out the rest of it yeah that's because he was doing more charity stuff he does a lot of charity stuff he was and my stag door wasn't a charity event.

No.

He

used to play for Swansea City.

He's my favourite Swansea City player of all time and I would say the most significant signing for the club in my lifetime, certainly.

And he is fantastic company.

He laughed at every one of my jokes for 11 hours.

I had a great gig.

Dave, did how much did we owe him for that?

Yeah, no, we said we sort it out.

After about an hour, I thought, he is a much better audience than John.

So you chatting as you go?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's nice.

It was superb.

And were there cameras following you?

Yeah, because it's not a fundraising thing.

It's an awareness raising thing.

They're not trying to get people to pay the money.

They want everyone to go on the reviver page of the British Heart Foundation website where you learn CPR and how to use a deep fib.

So the target is to get 270,000 people to learn CPR in this website.

It takes about 10 to 15 minutes and it's really good.

I did it last week.

So tell me how to do CPR.

I do need to know as well.

Well, do the course because you set your phone up and then it tells you if you're doing the compressions properly.

You do a simulated phone call with 999.

It's really, really good.

Then you get a certificate at the end.

But we cycled at Bulchmountain.

He was laughing at my jokes.

I was screaming at him, no pain, Lee, no pain.

And he was loving it.

And I was like, this

is great.

This is what I want to do.

John

wants to retire at the age of 50 so he can whirdle himself to death.

Yes, please.

I want to retire and just cycle all day long because it's where I'm at my best.

I'd like to.

Panto is flowing, Dave.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay, so talk me through because I want to come I want to compare the experience so I kind of know how you were feeling because this is pretty huge because if he was your favourite player, just imagine that version of you saying you're going to be cycling for 11 hours with this hero of yours.

I did think that because, although I got to know him, because he used to sing us out in the first series of Fancy Football League.

So I had got to know him on the first series, and he's great company.

He's never down.

Even during during his puncture and pon to breathe, which sounds like a half man, half biscuit lyric.

He was always, he was always up.

And I'm not going to name the satellite navigation device they gave us because it was absolutely rubbish.

I kept getting us lost.

Oh, no.

How do you not know the way from Swansea to Newport?

Because we weren't cycling on the M4,

which is how I would drive it.

And I also, because of the satnav device, which I'm not going to name because it was rubbish, at one point I did try and take us on the M4.

And Lee went, no, I don't think it's that one, L.

That's cars.

So there are apps that I've used that give you cycle sort of routes.

Yeah.

In the end, we used their one and I used my phone.

But when you're cycling in very rural whales at big mountains, it doesn't really think that you're going to be on a bike.

So it was taking us down wrong directions,

took us down an alleyway.

One man came out of his house to tell us that we were going the wrong way and I said, you don't know where we're going.

He said, if you're here, you're definitely in the wrong place no cyclist has ever come here ever yeah uh his pedal came off in Ponteride de Venn and a man came out and said you want to borrow our tools oh that's nice it was nice weather wasn't it it was lovely weather to put sun cream on the saying all right to cyclists ratio between Swansea and Newport we must be amongst the highest on earth I think reckon Welsh people are so friendly yeah all right no one was ever bothered apart from when we went through a posh pit between uh Cafilly and Newport and then the all

sort of dissipated.

It's a class issue data.

Is it because did they know it was you?

If Lee Trundle did Cymru Connection in the Neath and Skewin area, he would have a 100% record.

Not only does everyone know him, he knows everyone and he is loved.

Honestly,

it was like

cycling through Skewin with Lady Gaga.

Or is she big in Skewin?

She's big everywhere, mate.

Yeah, that's true.

Lady Gaga dominates.

Isn't it?

It's not.

Don't you mean it's like cycling with Lady Gaga through Hollywood?

Yeah.

Lady Gaga is big.

No, she is, but don't you need...

But you're comparing, you're saying cycling through Skewer with someone really well known in Skewer is like cycling through Skewen with someone who's really well known in Skewen.

Yeah.

And I stand by that.

All right, then Taylor Swift.

No, no, no, no.

The point is more people know Lee Trundle in Skewer than you.

I think they do, actually.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think I got muddled.

I'm quite boring.

Realized this.

No, you're not.

I told you that.

I pointed out a lot of Calvinist Methodist chapels to him.

There was a big Calvinist Methodist scene in this part of the country in the late 19th century.

Then, of course, it was a religious revival in 1904, which meant that Wales briefly was the most religious country on earth.

Was it?

No, Walter.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'll start by a preacher called Evan Evans from Amondford.

So when you got to Newport, daughter Swansea.

We went from Swansea City to Newport County because it's it's an EF it's it's done with EFL so it's a relay between all the football clubs um so who was then going from Swansea

it was someone the next day so I didn't meet that person they were cycling from Swan from Newport County to Swindon Town I think so it's on not stopping by Bristol they'd already done Bristol I think who's in charge of this route

the British Art Foundation and I think a woman called Lisa oh but I don't know so they someone had gone cardiff to swansea and then we went back Swansea to Newport.

So how did you then get back to London?

I got back on the train and I had to cycle home from Paddington, which was another 10 miles.

Oh, wow.

That's a walk in the park at that point.

It's easy peasy.

Yeah.

And I wasn't, I felt absolutely fine the next day.

I would have felt worse if I'd had three pints.

I'm beginning to think that I'm the greatest undiscovered cyclist of all time.

Are you saying that exercise is better for you than alcohol?

I would say there's quite a lot of exercise.

Just on the old thighs, though, and your thighs have always been your strongest suit.

Yes, to the point that sometimes trousers look bad.

So is Lee Trundle more of a legend in Wales than he is in England?

Certainly in the Swansea area.

He's absolutely...

I mean, he is adored.

Yeah, because that was where his main kind of...

Yeah, yeah, he's played for Residency, he played for Exxon, played for Bristol City, and

a couple of other clubs.

But honestly, he's the...

When we start...

Every time we'd go past anyone, whoa, Haley!

He's just loved.

It was a great.

And also, his surname sounds like what you do on a bike.

Yes, yes.

Trundle along.

Yeah, yeah.

I was going to make that point when

we got to the Abergwinvy area, but I thought, I can't be bothered.

Very good.

Well, well done for raising awareness.

And folks, learn how to do CPL.

Yeah, the reviver page of the British Heart Foundation website.

And it's really good.

So it takes 10 to 15 minutes.

And you like that.

I learned lots of things.

Like, I didn't know you can't get D-Fib wrong because the machine talks to you.

And it assesses

the patient's heart rhythm, so it tells you exactly what you need to do and when.

It's a really, really good website.

So you do go on that.

Well, speaking of connecting Newport with Swansea, we're now going to connect Ellis James with a random person from Wales in the Cymry connection.

It's another Cymry connection.

Ellis thinks his tactics are sheer perfection.

But his questions have one direction.

Where did you go to school?

Do you know Da Philippines?

No.

Come on, mate.

You must do no.

We've never met

at all.

Oh, my accountant's calling.

So,

what do you think you should do now?

Don't look at my phone.

Yeah, you're not just put your phone down because we're recording.

Imagine we're live.

Imagine we're live.

But also, Dave.

It's fine.

It's fine.

Look at his body language.

He's not sexier tomorrow.

He's end of the sexier tomorrow, Dave.

Dave, he looks like he's in a coffin.

Look at his body language.

What could he possibly be saying?

How long are you on the phone to your accountant for, on average?

Because if it's five minutes, then take the call.

No, no, no, no, no, it's fine.

No, but no.

They always leave a voice message.

But his mind will wander for an hour.

No, it's just because I saw it when I picked up my phone to check a statistic about something else.

Will make bad content.

No, it's good.

I can park that because I think no, you can't.

You can't park anything.

That's your tragedy.

I can't park.

I can park a Kia Sportage.

Yeah, of course.

But that's not the thing that keeps you awake at night.

Funny story.

I took a car in for its service.

I'm parking a Kia Sportage.

I'll be the judge of that.

I took the Kia in for its service the other day.

Did you call her she?

I think when people do that, she's in prison.

No, well, I don't usually have anyone to describe to.

What, mechanics?

Yeah, no,

I don't go in and say, oh, she's a decent runner.

Yeah, you don't tap her on the bonnet.

Built like a German tank.

No, I took it in and they said, is there anything you want to check in?

I said, well, you could check the front parking sensors because they worked when I bought it, but they've just never worked since.

I mean, it's not the end of the world, but the rear ones work fine.

He said, okay, we'll check that out.

So, anyway, I got a call from them about three in the afternoon, and the guy was like,

are you winding me up?

I was like, no, God, no, God, the last people I would wind up are those in charge of whether I pass my MOT or not, but people changing the HEPA filters

on my internal air distribution system.

And he said, well, I got the mechanic to check the parking sensors and then I got...

another second opinion from another one and then I checked them.

You haven't got front parking sensors.

So he said, I thought you're winding us up because I think it went in on April the 1st.

I mean, you know,

of course, April the 1st is a tedious day, isn't it?

Yes, it is.

Who did you prank on April Fool's Day, John?

Anyone?

No one.

No one?

No, why would I?

But it was April Fool's Day.

Oh, my God.

Get in the spirit.

It needs to be retired day.

Yeah.

My son put my toothbrush in a shoebox.

This is good.

That was fast, but this is good.

April the first needs to be retired.

Or just become a normal day.

Because we can't go from March the 31st to April the 2nd of course i mean and it is meant to be done at midday as well the pranking element needs to be retired yeah because people do something and you go is that april fool and they go no and you go is it and they go yeah

it's like so bad john richardson great example so he was that john richardson did a prank but it was on march the 31st so i would have thought he was genuine and made the news just on the six music news was it about being a teacher or something yeah that's not true well he is going to be a teacher on waterloo road yes but because it was march 31st people are like well then it's definitely not a prank prank, is it?

But then you get into the situation where people go, Is this a prank?

And sort of all of your PR goes, No.

And you're like, No, two hours later, he goes, It was a prank.

And it's like, Yeah, well, well, I sort of asked you if it was.

Yeah.

If I've asked you if it's a prank, say it is.

You can't say it's, you can't find someone out and then go, No, no, no, no, I did to my son.

Is this toothbrush in a shoebox a prank?

Yes or no?

It's 11.56.

There's a cutoff.

Well, it doesn't, yeah.

I think

you gotta let your son off.

But it would be more like him coming in and saying,

Daddy,

mum's written off the car.

Yeah.

And you say, is this a prank?

Yeah, yeah.

And it's 12.11.

No, it's not.

And you scream, you know, call the emergency services and goes, oh, by the way, it's...

It's eight.

Ha ha ha, April Fool's ha.

Alastair Green's videos about it's very, very, very funny.

Yes, yes, yes.

I've not been pranked in years on April Fool's Day because can I swear and use a bad word yeah go on it is the behaviour of I'm not gonna you know what I know what you're gonna go you are rolling into it who likes pranks there's people buffoons yeah fools um radio one I radio one

like young men

and women and men but I mean like frat boys sort of yeah squirting cream up your bum hole

and then like hitting a golf ball into your eye so you're blind in one eye and then you're ace and then you've got cream up your bum and that ha ha ha and then they down and they make you do shots yeah ha ha ha but one of the shots is sick yeah yeah yeah no it's not Jaeger it's sick I pranked you again

and now look on your leg hair's on fire I hate you but I'm also your best friend yeah and everywhere you look is plate glass so you're gonna have to and if you want to escape and not and not suffocate you've got to break through plate glass look he's falling through another window ha ha it's only 11 10 there's another 50 minutes to go yeah burnt all your paperwork and your dog's dead

we killed your dog andy

because it's april the first

in the fire with all of your paperwork and the phone

And because you're not alive, your wife's left you.

Yeah, we've super glued your mum to your dad.

And they're both in in tears and they're both in tears

oh it's only 11 12 there's 48 minutes left to go yeah and we've made a complaint to social services about how you treat your kids

psych

cow a bunga andy cow a bunger andy um why are we talking about april fools i just can't remember um

you said we should i'm my accountant what did he account for

the parking senses.

Parking sensors and we're back.

So no one's being pranked.

Everything that's happening is real.

Yep.

And that's a nice place to be in.

The equilibrium of reality

is lovely, isn't it, Dave?

It's just there's a trust there, isn't there?

Well, it's also just like I can deal with things on their own terms.

Life on life's terms.

That's a nice place to be.

Yeah.

You know?

So the reason that I saw that my accountants were calling is I'm checking a statistic that someone else has written.

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

Oh yeah.

Well you call your accountant.

No.

Just to check statistics.

I googled the statistic and my accountant's name came up and was calling.

That's when he got distracted.

Oh, right.

Things that have a 50% chance of happening.

A newborn baby being a girl.

That's what I was Googling.

So I think it's slightly more likely to be a girl.

Isn't it 51 to 49?

That was my interest.

I don't think it's that much more.

And also,

I think more male babies are born during a time of war or is that an urban myth i don't know i think that might be an urban myth look at caudi or compton uh getting a heads in a coin toss yes that is a 50 chance yeah Ellis connecting with a random caller from Wales.

That's right, it's time for the Cymru connection.

Last week, Ellis rounded off a hat-tree of connection failures.

He failed to find a connection to call a Kerry in mould, perhaps providing the doubters right that he does indeed need to have a North Walian blind spot.

I got accused of that.

His connection rate,

you're a champagne Welshman.

His connection rates have gone down to 49%.

Oh, it's been a while since we've been below the 50s.

Sorry.

Surely, so now there's less focus on John's credit rating.

Yeah, there is.

Very interesting.

Yeah.

Very interesting.

I did three in 30 seconds in Macedonia.

Did you?

Three people at halftime in 30 seconds.

But it wasn't filmed because I'm like Daniel Kitson.

I'm love the live experience.

Did they all know your mum?

No, they didn't, actually.

Did they all say we're here at the football with you?

Yeah, it's quite an obvious connection because you're there already.

You're in the connection.

Because I was connecting with people who weren't at the football.

Okay.

I'm watching you.

Surely it won't be the quadruple of failures.

Oh, you're you're kidding me.

We have a caller on the line from Wales.

Hello, caller.

Hello.

Hello, it's lovely to have you with us.

Ellis is going to attempt to connect to you very shortly.

We're going to put 60 seconds on the clock.

The next sound you hear will be Ellis's voice.

I wish you all the best.

Time starts now.

Where'd you go to school?

Sanese Girls Grammar School, and before that, Escardoisant.

Oh, okay.

So, do you mind if I ask how old you are?

I'm 64.

64, okay.

What's your name?

What do you do for a living, I mean?

Retired school teacher.

Did you teach at Stradi?

I did.

Oh, Heather Lewis, who would have been deputy head there?

Yes, got it.

And how do you know Helen Lewis?

Heather Lewis.

Heather Lewis, yes, she was my head teacher for a time, but I also knew her from my days in Esco de Visanta primary school.

How do you know her, Ellis?

She was my history teacher because she moved from Brumerdin to Escor Strade when I was in the sixth form I think.

So she taught me like a GCSE.

But there would have been lots of people who were at Stradi when you were teaching there, I'm guessing.

Do you know Garris Smith?

I works for Mentor Riyth.

This is unreal.

Sorry, I'm listen.

You've done it.

I've done it.

You've already done it.

I've done it and I'm glad.

Yeah, that was really good.

I'm interested, though, by how do teachers remember most of their pupils?

As in, like, could you name people that you taught 20 years ago?

Yes, I can remember.

Yes, yes.

Not every have got better memories than others.

I'm not as good as some of my colleagues, but no, you do, you do remember quite a lot.

Do you know,

like, oh, um, Rio Gravella taught us call Gwenlian?

She's no, it's primaries.

It's primary school, it's fine, it's fine.

Listen,

I don't know.

But do you know any people our Corla may have taught?

Yeah, well, Gareth would be the main one, but I mean, he left Stradi sort of 25 years ago, and I'm trying to think of other people from that.

But do you know what?

I don't want,

I don't want to sully this any further.

We got there.

Got it.

Wallop bang in.

Corla, do you know any more connections with Ellis?

Well, I wondered, also teaching in Stradi, I was thinking of the football connection.

Would you know Aled Williams?

No,

I mean, I did interview Emmir House once, I'm not sure.

Oh, yes,

I taught Emmy at Hayes.

He was at Straddy, wasn't he?

Also,

when did you start at Stradi?

Oh, a long time ago, about 30 years ago.

Because ma'am was the careers officer at Stradio wasn't

right.

But that's that's probably predates your time then.

Yeah, that was Garren's wife.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, of course.

Lauren Jenkins, now on the uh sport.

Have you met Lauren?

She was an ex-poop there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is, this is, what's your name?

Alison.

We should go for a drink, Alison.

This is good.

I know, I know.

When you're in Swansea.

Oh, yes.

Let's do that.

When we're on tour in Swansea, coming to the show.

Oh,

well, we look forward to seeing you there, Alison.

Do you

saw?

Oh, I feel good.

It feels good.

I feel really good.

Alison, Alison, you've made an old man very, very happy.

Well, I fitted the needs.

I was a lady or a woman of 64, so I thought maybe it was worth a try.

Oh, that's so kind of you to improve the spread of the demographic, of course.

And also put pay to rumours that Ellis can only connect with people his own age who went to his university who know his mum.

So, Alison, thank you very much.

We chalk it up.

Yeah.

Does that take him to 50% or is it 49.5?

There's no way of knowing.

Well, there is, and we'll find out.

We'll find out.

We'll get that information to you probably around 8 a.m.

tomorrow,

along with my updated credit score.

Is Alison still there?

Yes.

Oh, thank you, Alison.

Joe Kicky, Alison.

Thank you.

Oh, he feels good, Dave.

He's cycled from Newport to Swansea with Lee Tron.

Swansea to Newport.

One of the best days of my life.

And he is connected.

Lead after every one of my jokes.

That.

See, what an audience member.

What a gig.

So is that a standard.

Where was Alison from?

Swansea.

She's from Slines.

Lovely accent.

What an accent.

Yeah.

I think that's my favourite Welsh accent.

Sneshi accent is a UNESCO World Heritage accent.

It's lovely.

It is lovely.

It's great.

Yeah.

Right.

We've got to come up with the seven UNESCO World Heritage accent.

Oh, okay.

That's a great.

So, Ellis,

I'll allow Klinethley.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, Slessley could be very good.

Scott Cornell's got a great Klineth accent.

Gareth Jenkins, the rugby coach, has got a proper Klinethley accent.

Oh, what a

Limmy's accent.

Yeah, yeah.

Glasgow is exactly the one I was going to say.

World heritage, World Heritage.

So are these UK accents?

No, I think

they're international.

Yeah, we've got.

What have we got?

Klinethley, Lemmy.

Klinethley, Glasgow.

Do you know what people could people could call in or email in on Ellisonjean at bbc.co.uk and they could make the case for an accent.

And if they happen to have that accent, they can maybe leave a voice note

and then we can judge it.

Do they get to be in the UNESCO World Heritage Accent Big Seven?

Very good.

Now, Knethley, for me, is a non-negotiable.

Is it?

Yeah, it's non-negotiable, as is Glasgow, actually.

Well, we could have three non-negotiables and then seven spaces.

So we've got Lnethley, Glasgow.

And what would be your UNESCO World Heritage site?

The one for me is always Geordie, Newcastle.

Yeah, it is good.

I think it's UNESCO.

But is it UNESCO?

I think it's UNESCO.

Well, I want Mississippi as well because that's my favourite.

Cockney's born before 1960.

Yeah.

Oh, did you see that video of the

Cockney women in their 70s and 80s in the pub talking about going on holiday?

Fantastic.

Extraordinary.

What a voice.

Okay, so Klenethley, Glasgow, Mississippi, Query, Newcastle.

Yeah.

I like Newcastle.

But why don't we...

Sina Milikan's voice is absolutely lovely.

Isn't she South Shields?

She's some, yeah, she's from South Shields.

But why don't we...

No, she's from Jaro.

Where the marches came from.

Yeah, she's from Jaro, Senator Millican.

We probably don't want to populate the list.

Why don't we let listen?

We could turn this into something.

This is good stuff.

No, John, stop it.

Because this isn't.

We could have people actually calling with their accents.

Actually, we could build the top 10 UNESCO list

via speaking to the great British public.

I was born and brought up in South Shields.

You are right.

Another win.

Well done again.

That's just

for some reason.

We need more international ones.

Sort of classic New York, though, and everyone tries to do when they do a New York accent is good.

Is good.

Front of house at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, I always like.

Oh, John.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

What do you need on your rider?

Is that Melbourne?

Yeah.

Nice.

Okay.

Well, listen, listen, Ellis and John at bbc.co.uk,

we'll be the judges of whether it's UNESCO.

Yeah, voice notes to 07974-293-022.

Oh, we've got a little jingle that we can play to remind you of the number, of course.

Good.

What's the accent from that documentary about the trans girl in mid-Wales?

She's from

Abristwith, and it's her dad whose voice she really likes.

Yes.

He has got a Keradigion farmer's voice.

All my extended family sound like that.

A Keradigion farmer.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Adored his voice.

Yes, because of the voice.

And the documentary.

Yeah, it's a great documentary.

Right, okay, let's have a bit of a break.

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Okay, let's play a made-up game.

Of course, and we have a new jingle.

Ooh, new jingle alert from Sid.

Now, Sid, of course, sent us a vibrant cartoon version of D.I.

Robbins back in the day.

Let's hear the cartoon version of D.I.

Robbins' theme.

If you are

an actor or an actress, and that is your walk on music,

you are not and never will be a sex symbol.

And maybe a reminder for people to check into the Bureau de Change if they haven't already done that, Dave.

Exclusively on sounds.

There's interesting, interesting times afoot.

Developments are plenty.

Yes.

Great.

Thank you.

You've got to constantly surprise people, Dave, as a creative.

Yes.

Did you know that?

No, I did.

And you were very good at it.

In the book I'm writing at the minute, every chapter just completely changed topic.

What?

Farthings and father figures?

Farthings and father figures.

You know, one chapter will be sort of a searing account of full-blown alcoholism.

The next chapter will be

a searing account of having a bad credit rating.

Just a description.

Which amazingly wasn't brought on by alcoholism.

Just a description of some common garden birds.

Oh, great.

It keeps surprising people.

Yeah.

Are you struggling to hit the word count?

Oh, God, yeah.

Yeah.

Is there a word count you've got to hit?

Yeah, lots of going through it and changing numbers that I've put as digits to spelt out as words.

Nice one.

Gets you an extra word.

Nice one.

It does, but then that is grammatically incorrect.

No, it's not.

I thought it was zero to nine is able to be a digit, but one of the things that I think is

zero to a hundred is spelt over a hundred as digits.

I mean, it's interesting, they're all understandable, yes.

So, yeah, but I think either way, it stops him from breaking his contract, breaking the terms of his contract, of course.

Of course, uh, why don't you just do um, I don't know, the final chapter, maybe an interview with your favorite golfer?

What a great idea, yeah, an afterword

with Nick Faldo.

Yeah, oh, yes, yeah, I'd read that.

Sir Nick.

It begins.

Sir Nick arrived at a fashionable London cocktail.

Oh, yeah.

That's two pages of description.

What beautiful beige slacks.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And a relaxed linen jacket.

Yeah, but not the green one, of course, that he won at the

on a self-confessed health kick.

Nick just ordered the Nissuise salad.

Yes, yes, yes.

And just reviews of your favourite magazines.

And then the acknowledgements is just me, like again and again and again.

Yeah.

Thank you to me.

But so many different thank yous.

Yeah.

Why don't you used to write a column for the Metro.

Why didn't you bung a couple of them in?

Yeah, whack them in.

A couple of knock-knock jokes.

A couple of knock-knock jokes.

And then a thesaurus.

It's like a magazine format, though.

Yeah.

I could do adverts in the back.

No stream.

I could do if I've got anything I want to get rid of.

Well, you could do funny ads.

You could sell stuff.

And you could do funny adverts viz style.

Yes.

You will get there, John.

Yeah.

It's just it won't be a book.

No.

It'll be like an annual.

Yeah, yeah.

The John and John annual.

The John and John Compendium annual.

Bought to you by your friends at Kia.

Bought to you by your friends at Kia, Dave.

So many good ideas.

What else could you do?

Word search?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Good word.

What's the difference in a dot to dot?

Doodles.

But do dots count as words?

Probably not.

Doodles would count as count as words.

Good words to start Wordle, bad words to start Wordle.

Yes, that's good.

I could list all the Wordle words.

I could just list all the words.

In fact, I'm probably only shy of all the Wordle words, numbers-wise.

About three and a half thousand.

So I'll just list them all in the back.

Thanks.

Thanks, guys.

That's been really good.

That's been productive.

Good stuff.

Advice on how to brush your teeth, how not to brush your teeth.

And then bye, bye, bye, bye.

Bye.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye now.

Bye.

Bye now.

Thanks for reading.

Bye-bye.

Yeah.

Bye-bye now.

You take care.

All the best then.

God bless.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

Take care.

Tara.

Fashion tips.

You can do a chapter on fashion.

Yeah.

What to wear, what not to wear.

When, not, what, not what to wear it.

When, not, what to wear it, Dave.

Do I have to repeat myself?

No, of course you don't.

What to wear, what not to wear, and when, not what to wear it.

You could do a chapter on things that have kept you awake at night.

Yeah.

Got Aquana's kicking himself that he's not come up with that.

Yes, that's good.

When, not, what, and, what to not wear it.

When not what to wear it.

Right.

Right, made up game.

No, that's.

Sid's been sat there going, yes, you've played my D.I.

Roberts jingle that I sent in two years ago, but how about you play my brand new made-up games jingle?

Well, Sid, here it is.

In the car, on the train, delve inside your massive brain.

Made a game, start to play.

How tall is Brian May?

If you are having fun, email Ellison Joggy, you could be the latest round of made-up games on BBC BBC sounds.

Oh,

what?

That's

fantastic.

That's my humour.

Do you know what you should do?

Well, John could critique it.

He could do a review of it.

That's the final chapter.

That's brilliant.

What's that person's name?

Sid.

Also, it's very snappy, isn't it?

In and out.

In and out.

You'd get that on Capital.

Just written Ellis.

Ellis has just written Sid down.

Just written Sid down.

I love Sid.

It's a bit fight the Concorde.

It's a bit Joe Cornish, maybe a Stone Wars style.

And a little

touch of craft work.

And a bit of sort of look around you.

Dang, I love it.

Okay, okay, here we go.

It's a made-up game.

Do you want to know what the scores on the doors are?

No, I'm too happy.

Yeah, I'm close to victory.

I'm going to write Siddig down again.

30-same down twice.

30-15 to John in the 10th game with John leading five games to four.

John, brace yourself, pal.

You're two games away.

You're two wins away from clinching the first set.

I was two wins away last week.

And then you only won.

No, I won the TikTok Metronome game.

In which case, you must have been at...

You must have been at 50.

We must have been at 15 all though.

Okay, okay.

Right, sit down, Corn.

Make you feel better.

Sit down.

Two games away from a win in the first set and two games away from a delightful surprise of sorts.

So whoever wins the first set gets a nice surprise.

Imagine if we go to a tie break.

That would be tricky for the logistics of the surprise.

Well, is it perishable?

No, we just need to meringue.

Make sure it's ready.

Is it half a lamb?

Is it a frozen carcass of a lamb, Dave?

No, it's just sometimes there needs to be the

pawns, isn't it?

The legwork that goes into making surprises.

It's unlikely it'll be in two weeks.

What do you mean?

The winner.

We can.

Why?

Well, because if Ellis wins this game, then we're still two weeks ago

Yeah, but it's not gonna

necessarily win I if you've got something booked in for two weeks that you need to change do I need to throw this no no no listen what I'm saying the integrity of the made up game is paramount.

Yeah, that's true.

What I'm saying is there is there is full integrity.

What I'm saying is this you've got different surprises

So we need to just have probably a week to make sure we're lining up the said surprise So yeah, we we need a little bit of prep time so it's tiebreak in fact tiebreaks are fine it still gives us a a week.

Yeah.

This week's game comes in from Clive.

Hello there.

I've got a game that starts off with Wordle.

Okay, now, John, I've got your attention.

But Ellis, don't switch off or give up.

I have switched off.

I agree.

Just keep running.

Because thankfully, that was just a ruse to get John out of a chocolate crash stupor.

Are you in a chocolate crash stupor?

No, he's in a credit rating stupor.

Yeah.

Have you seen me eat any foods today apart from that chocolate, Dave?

No.

but that's probably not I mean you is that good I don't know I just forgot yeah

couldn't be asked because I feel a little lethargic after the chocolate that we both ate yeah me too actually anyway carry on what's the game uh it's called initial thoughts producer Dave will give you a five letter word from everyone's well John's favourite game Wordle

you then have to take the letters of that word and think what these letters could make in an initialism of a fitting category afterwards Dave will ask you to for an explanation of what that category is

So there's a point for winning each round, which Dave will judge as the best answer and explanation.

I think I'm going to absolutely be battered.

I'm not sure.

You'll both have a bit of time to think of your own.

Because it's a subjective one, Dave will make sure it goes down to the last game because he always

every single time we've even though integrity

even though integrity is paramount.

Watch this then.

John, Ellis is going to hammer you.

I guarantee that won't happen.

It'll be one all somehow.

Thanks very much for the podcast.

I'm 57 and normalizing mental health and working out has been really helpful to me.

Oh, lovely.

Clive.

Thank you.

Thank you, Clive.

And Clive's wife, if there is a Clive's wife.

Yeah.

Do you remember that?

What was that from?

It's from my

sort of spoken word beat poetry intro we did about four years ago.

That's a good that I think I did win those awards that actually.

You're welcome.

There aren't many, you don't get many Clives now, do you?

And no one's

calling their kids Clive.

No, and and yet it's a perfectly good name.

Clive Allen.

It's a great name, but it'll come back round.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There'll be a day where Clive will be a popular firm.

Clive will rise again.

Of course, he will.

Great.

Okay, so round one.

We can kind of, you know, feel our way through this.

Let's see how we get on.

So round one, the category is, and this is what you got to think about: it's a high-flying advertising firm wants the follow-up to freedom you can trust.

So a generic phrase that you can apply to any of your clients' products, right?

Okay, so that's the premise.

That's what we're after for this.

It's a slogan, essentially, an advertising slogan.

The word, which is the initialism that you'll need to think up as a sentence in terms of an advertising slogan, is barge.

So, write your B-A-R-G-E down.

What am I advertising?

Anything you want, anything, anything you want, but that's your initialism.

So, barge is your initialism.

So, you've got to think up a snappy

slogan using that initialism, which would impress clients, but more importantly, Alice impressed me.

John, we'll come to you first, please.

So, do you want to name a product or something, and then I'll give you the slogan?

Okay, that's a risk.

Well, bold.

Because the so yours is a one-size-fits-all slogan.

That's exactly what we were asked to do.

Is it?

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

Tooth whitening toothpaste.

Tooth whitening toothpaste.

Because all relationships go everywhere.

Oh, you've done that.

Right.

Listen, I'll hold off judgment.

Volvo.

Because all relationships go everywhere.

I mean, it's very good for Volvo.

Thank you.

Because of the journey.

It's also because you take your teeth everywhere, Dave.

That's true.

This might not be a one-all into a two-one at this stage, John.

Ellis.

It's a brilliant, accessible, remarkable, godly experience.

Is that what you originally wrote?

No, golf.

I was advertising.

You've got to do what you originally wrote.

It's a brilliant, accessible, remarkable golf experience.

And it's suitable for golf and folks, Markham.

Because this golf could be two things.

So your one size fits all slogan for all products is, let's hear that one more time.

Brilliant, accessible, remarkable golfing.

Oh, my goodness.

I mean, what we were looking for there was the follow-up to freedom you can trust.

Yeah.

Yeah, you made that clear, Dave.

I thought so.

Clear enough.

I thought so.

And I think, I mean, the point can only go one.

I was writing Sid again.

You were, and then I wrote Lethly-UNESCO.

So, John, it's a point to John because I think you've, you know, you've followed the rules.

Um,

so, Ellis, listen carefully.

No, go on, all right, go on, because I'd love to make it one more, but I can't if there's really nothing in it.

If this is a clear whitewash, it's gonna be very hard for me to justify Jeopardy.

Round two:

Director General Tim Davey wants a new department to promote the wonder that is BBC Sounds.

Lovely, of course, he does.

The word is radio.

Oh, lovely, Davey.

Because sometimes it's just nice when these things link up, but doesn't mean you have to use the word radio in your initialisms, of course.

So, Tim Davy, Ellis, listen carefully.

Tim Davy wants a new department to promote the wonder that is

the audio on demand behemoth

BBC Sounds.

will come to you first then, please.

Real, audacious, digital interface ownership.

It's better.

It's better.

It's better.

Because BBC Sounds is an interface and you own it on your phone and it's real and it's audacious.

Say it again.

Real, audacious.

Audacious digital interface ownership.

It's real, it's audacious.

It's digital.

it's an interface, and you own it on your phone.

I suppose you do, yes, you do, Dave.

Yeah, I own BBC Sounds on your phone on my phone.

God, I love it.

Nice, nice little touch at the end there.

That'll work wonders.

Radio and God, I love it.

Uh,

John

Radical Audio, digital initiative

onwards.

or the first two radical audio yeah that's that is good

radical audio

digital initiative

onwards oh john

it's it's really good

check your credit score again let's wipe the smile off your face

interface ownership radical audio and what was what was i asking you really audacious digital davey no it's me

watching your department davies davey's giving me the calippo dave

I mean,

I'd argue neither of you have really named a department there.

Okay, then raise all diverse individuals overall.

How did he come up with two?

He came up with three for the first one.

Three?

Hmm.

Better and reliable.

Great energy.

Yeah.

Better and my mother does well.

Real audacious, digital interface ownership, radical audio, digital initiative onwards.

It's 2-0 to jump.

Alright, it's 2-0.

I'm going to write down SID again.

There you go.

I would argue neither of you quite understood the brief.

I was asked after a department, and yours is great, but it's more a slogan.

I don't know what Ellis' is.

You would not name a department with five words, would you?

Maybe.

But anyway, it's still lovely.

You might call it radio and digital.

Department of Agriculture, Fisheries and Foods.

That kind of thing.

Radio and Digital Initiative.

Or overseers.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But would you, given that the point, Dave?

Dunno.

I'm not sure about overseers.

I think your previous efforts are.

Organisation.

Organisation.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Org.

Round three, for the fun of the game.

Good fun.

For the fun of the mug.

I'd be fine at this if you give me a day.

I just need a day in office, a lot of coffee.

Yeah.

Or they're all names of footballers.

Yeah, yeah.

Dave's created a new executive role at Audio Always.

He wants to address the challenges of vertical integration in the podcasting social landscape.

Name the job title, and as a little flourish, their job description, please.

The word.

Stop writing Sid, Ellis.

Sorry.

The word is align, of course.

So the words align.

We're looking for a job role.

So a jazzy kind of W1A style job role, I'd say.

And time.

It's a victory lap for John.

He's doing keeper.

He's around the edge of the pitch.

The crowd are on their feet.

But can he make it a whitewash?

John, what have you got?

Author of Linear Integration Across Global Networks.

Yeah.

A gas promisy behind the cans.

It's lovely to hear.

Can you clip that up while it's my new ringtone?

I'm just watching greatness.

Go on Al.

Audio liaison.

What's happening?

Carry on.

What are you doing?

Intelligence general.

He wants to say knowledge.

I do want to say knowledge, so I've switched it to nincum poop because it's a fun role.

It's a fun role.

It's a fun role.

Oh, you're our aligned nincum poop.

Yes, that's me.

I think we take our recruitment processes a a little bit more seriously.

Not for fun, Rose.

Not for fun.

It's like being Ence Officer at Stevens Union, isn't it?

It's a laugh.

You are going to be sitting at your desk dressed in a Roman toga because it's fancy dress later.

Audio liaison intelligence general Nickampoop.

Yeah.

Because you're like, oh, wait,

come on, then have a

shimmershock.

Go on, have a drink

at your desk.

Abbott Tequila Rosa.

Abbot Aquila.

Author of Linear Integrations Across Global Networks.

John, it's 3-0.

Yeah, yeah, you're well done.

It's 3-0.

Match point?

No, set point.

Set point.

Set point.

Michael, ready the surprise as we get closer.

Great.

I wonder what I've got a game.

Why don't the two of us

leave the studio and we both try and get a credit card?

How's that?

I get one instantly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because the information is there.

They just haven't linked it up with my account yet.

yet you get one instantly then you clearly misuse it which will be driving down this because your credit card scores through the floor joe it's not through the floor it's just not accurate yet they'd have to make a phone call i've got a man's come in in he he'd like credit card

unlike you david child he goes to 999 over here mate hello hi boss yeah yeah it's Andy on front desk he'd like a credit card he's just come in yeah he's he seems he doesn't seem the best of mental health actually seems quite frazzled do you know what it might be a criminal but his credit rating is bad do you want me to apply for a credit card now because i will no no you don't okay so let's let's draw a line in the sand what is that of the shame well john applies for a credit card i i'd listen i would listen you actually need a monzo card or similar yeah

for an upcoming trip Well, you learned from the last trip when you weren't actually.

No, Dave, I tell you who should learn from the last trip is Tesco's Bureau de Change.

That if it says open at 9 a.m.,

that means arrive before 9 a.m.

to assure that when 9 a.m.

comes, you're not

flapping around with your computer saying it won't turn on because that's the problem for 8:30 a.m., isn't it, Dave?

Yes, you should be getting ahead with that.

You should be getting ahead of that.

Fingers crossed forget that Monzo card though, John.

Or Revolut

or Mint.

Or mint.

Is that one?

You can't just make them up.

Or goldfish.

Mint used to be one.

Mint used to be one, I remember, but I got turned down for a mint card.

Clap.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Smash.

Nutkim.

Anyone can just make up the name of a card you can use a build without fees.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh my God, you got a super card.

Wow.

Yes, no, yeah.

But it's just S-W-R.

Nah.

Yeah, good.

Because that's what they do, don't they?

Yeah.

Hey, should we wrap up with a shame?

I think so.

Cleanse the palette.

He is.

Well, he's happy because he's looking forward to the 8 a.m.

refresh.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

The 8am credit card refresh.

God.

Only 16 hours left to go.

And he will check it at 8 a.m.

You watch.

Yeah.

John nodding there like that's really cool.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I would.

It's like Christmas Day.

It's like Christmas Day.

Do you know, I check it at 8.03 is what I would do to make sure that it definitely updated.

So I would hate to update at 8 a.m.

and then be misled.

Hmm.

So you want the systems to kick in.

I'll consider it.

It's like Glasto tickets.

That's the level of buzz that you feel about.

These are my Glastow tickets, Dave.

Yeah.

That's the saddest thing you've ever said.

No, it's our sad saddest thing.

Yes, to be fair to him.

Right, are we ready for a shame?

Well, big time.

What was I thinking?

Why did I say he had nice ankles?

She was stood behind me the whole time.

I didn't know he's only got one hand.

I was signed in on her Gmail.

John Shamewell.

Here we are down in the well.

And, you know, it's nice we got an extra hour of sunlight in the day here down in the well.

It just lifts everyone's mood.

It makes you feel like spring has sprung.

There was spring in your step.

Here's this week's entry.

I am a big Wales rugby fan who, unfortunately, has been brought up in London for most of his life.

My family is very Welsh, so me supporting Wales is not so weird.

It does mean though that when I meet real Welsh rugby fans, i.e.

those who live in Wales and have Welsh accents, I'm overcome with the desire to demonstrate that I am a real fan and ingratiate myself as quickly as possible.

A few years back, a friend managed to get some fantastic seats for Wales versus Ireland in the Six Nations.

If Wales won, they would win the Grand Slam.

Must have been a few years ago.

Yeah, zinger.

Yeah.

Yeah, we're not very good.

Yeah, I do humour.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, we're at a low ebb.

I went along with my brother and a few pals.

My brother, who was even more prone to ingratiating himself by slipping into a passable Port Talbot accent, told me that he'd read a good article about how Wales were more than the sum of their parts.

That individually, some of their players were bang average in the Premiership, but fantastic for Wales.

The example they gave was the winger Josh Adams, a player I love.

When I sat in my seat I found I was next to a very passionate Welsh fan.

I repeated this word for word to try and strike up conversation.

I was angrily rebuked and told the team was world class and that Josh Adams specifically was world class.

Oh here we go.

I think I can guess what's happening here.

I foolishly lent further into this opinion in the hope that a bit of banter would result in firm friends and communal singing later in the game.

Instead, the gentleman looked at me as if I was dirt.

He seemed very offended.

As the game wore on and the cold shoulder did not disappear, I realised that he looked a bit like Josh Adams.

I also noted that he was sat with his family.

My stomach dropped.

Thick shame enveloped me.

They had all heard me call Josh Adams a bang average player,

something I didn't actually believe and would never normally say.

My final fears were confirmed when Wales won the Grand Slam, and the man next to me hugged his mum and said, ma'am, your son is a Grand Slam champion.

I could not enjoy the game at all and wished I'd never gone.

Cum reconnecting has very real dangers when attempted by non-natives and I would not advise unless chaperoned by an experienced Welshman.

Thanks for the many years of laughter.

Your show is a wonderful, precious thing.

Thanks, ma'am.

And sorry that you told Josh Adams' brother and his family that he was a bang average player.

Wow.

Do you reckon what the brother said to the mum was deliberately because that's quite a specific thing to say to make sure he overheard.

Yeah, maybe it is actually.

That's a bit of a dig, isn't it?

I don't know.

That's ruined that day forever.

But it would have been because Josh Adams winning...

The Grand Slam would have been the culmination of a lifetime's endeavor and hard work.

Yeah.

He's played rugby probably since he was three or four, and it's all gone into representing his country and then winning the Grand Slam and being the best rugby team in Europe.

That's agony.

I remember going to see him.

We need to make him feel better.

I remember going to see a band

with my history teacher.

And

I was only going there because I wanted a drink.

And I just thought it'd be a, you know, I wasn't particularly into the music.

And I remember shouting at

the singer and the guitarist and the songwriter, come on mate, play something we know.

And my teacher held my hand and went, you're sitting next to his wife.

Oh god,

I would have been about 17 or 18 at the time.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Which is the same, it's exactly the same thing.

No, so it was all originals.

Oh, right.

What an odd thing to shout.

Well, because I was, because

that band is quite big.

Oh, okay.

But I don't think they're very good.

So I was kind of, it was a little little bit of ribby.

It was just to make my friend and the teacher laugh because I was being dangerous.

But I didn't realise I was sitting next to his wife.

But my teacher knew him and he went, no, no, no, you need to be.

And I went, okay, okay.

All right.

I'm just going to go over there now.

To make him feel better.

There must be good tickets there with his family.

Yeah.

I think the impact of the joy of the day quite quickly trumps what he what

some guy next to them was saying you do not remember that when you're son

stained but i don't

think such a big moment i think it just tramples all over the grand slam apart from winning the world cup is the biggest thing you can do as well should be player yeah

so

you know he he has achieved legend status by being part of a rugby team that's won the grand slam so they are not thinking about what some bloke said to them before the match started

no certainly not as much as this chap is thinking about oh no no he'll never forget it no no

but uh he didn't mean any harm.

No, but it's just you just got to be positive, positive all the time.

Yeah, I do like me.

I just like John Robbins everywhere.

Just relentlessly positive and upbeat about everyone and everything.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

You make you make Lee Trunder, Leonard Cohen.

Okay,

okay.

Well, thank you for sending that in.

Do keep your Shane Wells coming.

You made up Game Wells coming.

You made up Game Wells.

You're everything coming to Ellisandjohn at bbc.co.uk.

and um you know just look forward to more spreading more positivity yeah

and good luck with the good luck with the old creds tomorrow yeah let us know send us a text on the group at 803.

this is the best timed chocolate crash i've ever had yeah because it hit me just then did it yep this is a credit score crash this is nothing to do with chocolate i need gordon brown to get world leaders together yeah to uh say save the world from world economic forum crash the world Bank, they all need to have a word.

The Office of Budget Responsibility.

Yeah.

That's not your fault.

No, God, no.

No one's suggesting it is, are they?

Rachel, I did hear Rachel Burden say something on Five Live Breakfast yesterday.

Yeah, it went from tariffs to why.

Is it John's fault?

I thought it was a shame.

I was in the Oval Office because Donald Trump wants help with his Wordle game.

Yes, and his golf sword.

And the golf, in his golf sword, where he plays off 80%.

pounds, does he

kick it?

So does Kim Young-un.

There's well, he is a decent player, but if you there's a good book called Cabander and Cheat about his golf game, there's a whole book on it.

Mad.

What a mad world we live in.

Anyway, thank you very much for listening, and we'll see you next week.

Bye.

Sucks!

The new musical has made Tony award-winning history on Broadway.

We demand to be home!

Winner, best score!

We demand to be seen!

Winner, best book!

We demand to be quality!

It's a theatrical masterpiece that's thrilling, inspiring, dazzlingly entertaining, and unquestionably the most emotionally stirring musical this season.

Suffs!

Playing the Orpheum Theater, October 22nd through November 9th.

Tickets at BroadwaySF.com.