#424 - Zanecdotes, Fab Pensions and Mallett’s Depths

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BBC Sounds, Music, Radio, Podcasts.

Hello listeners, this is Ellis and Sean.

A few days ago, I was walking through Hyde Park and I thought to myself, hang on, I recognise that tartan suit.

It was Tim Davey, director general of the BBC, having a juggling lesson from a circus performer he knows called Spider.

Tim's lessons aren't weekly, he just books winning if he's stressed and he has every right to be stressed.

There has been a reported case of headlights at BBC Five Live.

Tim.

Tim, had to write to all of our parents or guardians

after seeing Rachel Burden scratch her hair excessively during a feature on Five Life breakfast about Jimmy Rises.

Rachel has assured all of us there's nothing wrong, but has promised everyone she'll she'll use the shampoo anyway, because that's how members of the Five Live family behave.

Rick Edwards, however, says the treatment smells funny and is refusing to play ball, saying that he's been...

Saying that even though he knows nits like clean air and not dirty hair, he hasn't got a knit problem, okay?

He's never had a nit problem and is willing to use the little cone to prove it.

Maybe do it live on air, get a feature out of it.

Now.

Insubordination from presenters like Rick can cause the wheels to come off pretty quickly in a retest station of this magnitude.

So no wonder Tim the Calippo King is stressed.

He has considered putting a list of the presenters who refuse the treatment online, but decided against this after Matt Choli said the list could be doctored by clever people on social media and he didn't want to become a meme.

And so, we've all been sent the shampoo and Tim's decided to trust all of us as adults that we'll use it over the weekend and we can put this episode behind us.

Listen, headlights happens.

Okay?

It's the nature of life at a busy radio station and it's nothing more than a nuisance.

As I applauded Tim for doing two and a half consecutive minutes of partner juggling with Spider, I said,

I said, could be worse.

Remember the case of Noravirus at Radio 1?

And he said, I don't want to talk about it, and the bad memory caused him to drop one of his clubs.

I assured Tim that

Dave, John and I were very nick conscious on our show and he seemed relieved.

I asked him if he was also into plate spinning and fire eating and he said, no, just juggling for me, that other stuff is sad.

I agreed, he gave me a fly for a juggling festival in Rotterdam.

He was hoping to perform at, and I said, I'd look at it later.

That's good stuff.

It's very funny.

Have you got

a nip problem at school?

Yeah, I got the email yesterday.

Yeah, we get them quite regularly.

So we got the email, and I checked on the school's app the last time we had a nip problem, and it's exactly the same letter.

That's how often it happens.

Yeah.

Headless, I can handle when Noravirus hit the school.

That was a nightmare.

It was like something from a horror film.

Yeah.

Just people walking down the corridor and speaking.

It's mad.

None of this in my world.

No.

It's like I was interviewing Tuppence Middleton on a different podcast, a podcast with more empathy and less humor.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't understand.

There's a bit of humor, David.

There's a bit of humor.

But she was saying she's got very bad OCD, or certainly has had in periods of her life.

And she was saying, one of the upsides is, if you're always checking stuff and being very aware of germs and washing your hands, you don't get ill that often.

Oh, yeah.

She's only been sick once in her adult life.

What, as in vomiting?

Yeah.

Wow.

And as a childless man who lives alone, I've never had norovirus.

I've never had nits.

I've never had worms.

There are upsides.

There are.

Is what I'm saying.

There absolutely are.

Oh, man.

I can go to bed at 8 o'clock and go on my phone until 11.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Norovirus-free.

Norovirus-free.

I wake up at 6, go on my phone for two hours, leave for work.

You had the issue with bean sprouts a few years ago.

Yes, canned bean sprouts did give me food poisoning.

Oh my god.

But again, I was alone.

That was an advantage.

Yeah, yeah, you got your admin done.

Well, it just, you know, I could be as, you know, expressive as I wanted to be in the toilet arena

without fear of, you know, upsetting someone else.

Yes, sure, how expressive you can get when you're being sick over a...

a toilet bowl.

Am I missing something?

Fuse your imagination, Dave.

I don't want to.

Well, exactly you got it sometimes when you are when you're being expressive in the toilet arena you want to have a bit of privacy yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah either privacy or slipknot on very very loud very very loud

yeah hey guess uh guess who said hi to tim davy yesterday

what someone from slipknot oh you did yeah i said hello to him did you yeah did he take off his wraparound shades and go who are you he there was a there was a double take um but in hindsight it it was a bit random.

I did it, and I'm proud of myself.

Did his bodyguard just immediately rugby tackle him?

He was Sans's bodyguard.

Like Miss's bodyguard.

He was just strolling through Media City.

In his combats.

No.

He had.

Did he have his board with him?

No.

He was wearing a lovely suit and some nice trainers.

Was he?

Yeah.

Suit and trainers.

Yeah.

And only, do you know what?

A select number of people pull that look off, but David.

Blair absolutely nails it.

Blair.

Davey.

You know, any journalist who needs to run from one interview to another.

Pundits.

Pundits.

Craig Bellamy can do it.

Craig Bellamy.

Well, anyone being filmed from the knee up.

Yeah.

I've seen Patra Kilty do it.

He's a member of the Five Live family.

Yeah.

If Michael McIntyre had an ingrowing toenail.

He would just, I think McIntyre would just wear one trainer then.

Do you reckon?

Yeah, you'd have one hoker trainer on.

Yeah.

And then a sort of a nice broga.

You could do a bit about it.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, sure.

The only danger is Hoka's got quite a thick soul.

You wouldn't want to get lower back pain from being off the back of the imbalance.

Well,

I'm sure Michael's team would look into this.

Anyway, I've got my timings wrong.

Because Sue Barker

could wear a suit and trainers.

Oh, absolutely.

Because lovely summer suits.

Oh, there's the history there, isn't it?

There's the heritage of tennis within Subaka.

So it works.

And she's at an age and a stage where it's okay to lean into comfort.

Absolutely.

Skechers.

Skechers.

Rocco in comfort, not my words.

It was Doringo Star.

Yeah.

So you said hello to Davey.

Well, no, what happened was, so I was walking.

So he was up in Media City for the Six Music Festival.

Davey was there for the Walls Conference.

They're rebranding the Mini milk, Dave.

Don't be so naive.

They're bringing out a banana mini milk.

Which he's actually against.

He's against it, but he thinks it's going to ruin the brand.

He thinks they're going to get cancelled and the share price is going to plummet.

And you know where his pension is, Dave.

Yeah.

So he's rallying.

He's in the freezer section.

And I'm not talking about fish fingers, Dave.

Oh, God, no.

If Fab goes bust, he can't retire.

Twister, Calippo.

Yeah, twister's going nowhere.

Magnum classic white chocolate almond.

Yeah.

Works.

So he was up in Manchester, Dave.

He was walking in between the buildings of Media City, and I was walking back to the office after a high-powered meeting with someone.

And he kind of glanced at me and then glanced away.

And then he kind of carried on walking.

Then I went, hi, Tim.

And then he looked up and kind of doubled up because he was looking at me about 10 seconds ago.

So now he's like, Yeah, hi.

Then carried on walking.

But I just should have just nodded at him and just played it cool.

I think you've done all right.

They're trying to engage with top brass.

Yeah.

But then I did wonder whether he ever listens to this.

Dave, which would be a shame.

You know, the only way to get on board with Davey at the minute is to let him try out some tattoo art on you

because he's learning to ink.

Is he?

Yeah.

But he's not there yet.

Yeah.

Well, he's got in his kitchen.

He's got a big neon sign that says no fake S.

So there we go.

There we go.

Well, that's 10 minutes of chat about the DG and Dave.

Yes!

And obviously, we're meant to fly into our anecdotes from the week, but I've basically been writing it on my phone.

Okay.

I've got zero anecdotes.

I'm zanecdote.

Yeah, that works.

What have you...

Ellis, you need 10 anecdotes.

I did actually have a juggling lesson in a park in Cardiff on Saturday, that is true.

Why?

Impromptu.

For charity.

No,

you hate that sort of thing.

And you hate people who like that sort of thing.

But I'm fascinated.

I can't juggle.

I know.

And

so he was juggling next to a ping-pong table.

Who was, sorry?

A man.

Right.

A juggling man.

And it was my kids and all their cousins.

So the big six were there.

They've got six cousins.

And

he said, hey, do any of the kids want a juggling lesson?

And they were like, Yeah, so they all did a little juggling lesson, and actually charging.

And I've well, I gave him 20 pounds, John.

Did you?

That's very kind of you.

Yeah, and at the end, or about halfway through, I said, Ob, I once tried to learn to juggle with a magician who claimed he could teach me in 45 minutes, and uh, I couldn't do it.

And he said, Can you catch a ball?

And I said, Yeah, you went, I can teach you in five.

Anyway, five minutes later, I still couldn't juggle.

Uh, I just can't do it.

I forget to release, yeah, but also, it's not really.

I forget to catch a it.

Oh, my God.

Have you seen the video of the kid doing three Rubik's

while juggling?

Absolutely crazy.

I look at this video and I'm like, how is his brain different to mine?

What's he done?

Oh, my.

Where am I lacking?

Is it vitamin D?

Why can't I do this?

I can do other things.

I can play the guitar.

I can play the piano.

Yeah, you're fine.

I just can't release.

The juggling ball.

And then once I've released it, I can't catch it.

And yet, if you threw me a ball, I could could catch it.

I can catch.

We could play football.

Yeah.

It's fine.

You know, I need to juggle.

But no one needs to juggle.

But now I want to because I find it so hard.

Our friend Dan can juggle.

He said, I can teach you.

Yeah, but he won the Perrier Award.

He doesn't need to juggle.

He's wasting his own time.

He's got too much time.

But it's like everyone else could do it.

No, but it doesn't matter.

But people pick it up so quickly.

But when was the last time you're 44 years old that you were made to feel inferior because you couldn't juggle?

It's not that it's got cognitive benefits.

This is the thing that's going to keep me, my brain is.

It's so cycling.

Yeah, and I can do that.

I do it all the time.

But yeah, I forget to release.

So now I've set myself this target.

I'm going to learn to juggle before I'm 50.

Oh, God, we're all a complete waste of time.

Well, no, no, no.

Well, no, because there's a cognitive benefits, and then I can juggle into the studio.

Could you imagine if I'd walked in every day juggling my unicellular?

I would walk straight out.

I'd throw paint at you like I was protesting against fur

and then walk straight out.

And then I'd follow you juggling, dripping in paint.

Saying,

what's your problem, mate?

What's your problem?

I reckon I could do a unicycle.

Easy.

You hate unicycles.

Yeah, yeah, but I think I could do it.

Right.

I'm not going to, but I'm not scared of it.

I'm not scared.

I saw a unicyclist yesterday and I said in my head, Ellis hates hates you

i saw a guy in a penny farthing and i said in my hate i hate it in in my head i hate you i saw a guy on an electric unicycle in um naples did you

not a segue oh they might be might be made by segue yeah you just sort of lean forward and look like a bit of a plum oh yeah i can picture what you mean yeah

any anecdotes from you dave got scammed this week what

i got scammed okay okay Reset.

Yeah.

What arena are we talking?

Are we talking phone, email, or banking?

Running shoes.

You didn't get no cas.

I got counterfeit running shoes.

Yeah, so did I.

Yeah.

Lou bought 40 quid hokas online.

She thought they were so cheap she got two pairs and they arrived and they said no cor on the side.

God, that was that made me laugh so much.

No, well, it's a shame because the problem is it's it's good.

I mean, it looks

like...

So what is the problem?

Well, the problem was, so I ordered them.

It's a pair, and I won't name the brand, but there's a pair of running shoes that are like gold dust that are meant to be the OG of, well, not the OG, that's the wrong phrase.

Kind of like the best all-rounder in 2025 of running shoes.

Are they the ones that were banned because they make you run a marathon in 10 minutes?

No, no, no.

They're more kind of down the...

Down the line running shoe, but they are the 2025 shoes.

They've been sectioned.

Yes.

So I saw them online because you can't buy them from the shops anymore, John, because they're not around.

But they know this.

So they know that you'll go to the extent of if you see them for 60%.

Well, if it were about 30% cheaper, you're going to go, this is great.

They're still pretty expensive.

So surely they're going to be the real deal.

So I'll buy them off.

And it was off an auctioning site.

I won't say what auctioning site.

Right, right.

Christie's.

Craigslist.

So I ordered them.

So obviously, just to just to come in here and as someone who once clicked on a fake BBC license fee email.

Yeah, I was telling people about this on the plane on the way to Macedonia.

Not above it.

John's a clicker.

Because it's so real.

Right.

Now, the only thing that, the only alarm bell that should be sounding is why is this thing that's impossible to get hold of reduced?

And they had 10 pairs of them.

Yeah.

So that all went through my head.

But what I did was I also checked, there is a money-back guarantee.

So I made sure.

So I was wary.

I was wary.

Because you have to be.

So I knew that the end game here would be okay.

And then

they took a bit of a while to arrive.

So I went back onto the website and tried to go back to the user.

He's gone.

He's gone.

He's gone.

He's out of there.

And how many positive reviews did he have?

Loads.

300 positive reviews.

Summerly bots.

Completely.

Because there's no way that this guy's doing this.

So I eventually see that

the trainers are on the way to my house.

And this is mad.

I mean, I couldn't wait because he's disappeared.

So there was still something in the back of my mind thinking, these could just be genuine.

They could just be.

Yeah, this criminal has shut down all operations, moved to another country.

But before he's gone, he's gone, I've got to get those shoes to Dave.

These genuine shoes.

Oh, Dave's shoes.

Because outside of my criminal empire, I like to send one genuine, reduced pair of shoes to one man once a year.

Because I'd like to put something back.

Yeah.

But what is mad is they arrive at my door.

They look, they look like the trainers.

They are absolutely the spit of the trainers, but they're like clogs.

Oh, what do you mean?

They just may as well have been made, like the foam bottom, you literally can't move the foam of the trainer.

So I don't know what they've made it out of, but they're just rigidly firm like they're concrete.

So they're not a running shoe.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But everything else would suggest that they are a running shoe.

So have you sent them back?

Well, no, but.

But luckily, the money back guarantee meant the money was back in my account within 24 hours.

Oh,

actually, it was worth it.

No, it was a waste of everyone's time.

And I've now got two fake running shoes in my office that I don't know what to do with now because it's just bad for the environment.

Well, I suppose so, but chuck them, burn them, or hoy them in the seat.

There's nothing else you can do.

Well, Hannah was away.

Hannah was like, Let's we'll put them in the car boot.

And I was like, that's unfair if anyone wants to buy them from the club.

Oh, so you're selling counterfeit goods, which is illegal.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, there's that.

So

I've texted the police.

Well, every time now, because he keeps opening up new accounts.

Do you keep reporting him?

I keep reporting him.

good but they they kind of say you can't really prove anything apart from the fact they've done it in the past well they should just but surely having sold counterfeit goods online yeah but

yeah well they know their email address or whatever they know the person they can say you're banned from this site forever in whatever form you take it's like people who who go bankrupt which means you can't form a new company but they just do it under a different name you think it's that easy yeah then what's the point in having the rule and i keep messaging him as well oh good for you spam him.

You should send them to him.

I should.

Yeah, that's true.

But I just keep saying what you're doing is terrible.

Yeah.

And I will report you.

Are you checking any swear words in there?

Yeah.

But also, this is the thing I...

I said it was an e-commerce lawyer and I'm going to get into it.

Digital trouble.

Did you, Dave?

Yeah, is that wrong?

Well, it's a lie.

Yeah.

So how are you going to follow up your threat of being an e-commerce lawyer?

I'm an e-commerce lawyer.

I don't know whether that anyone is.

Because if an e-commerce lawyer would have fallen for it in the first place, I'm an e-commerce lawyer and I bought these trainers just to check that you're

that you're as bad as I knew where you were.

I'm going to get you into a lot of trouble and I can't.

Nothing I can do.

But I just hope I scare him.

Dave, you can probably do a little bit more than you think.

You can probably follow the trail.

Oh, there's a pod in this, isn't there?

No.

No.

Don't get through crime.

Don't watch

crime.

Serial series.

Episode series Series 3.

12-part series where Dave Masterman pretends to be an e-commerce lawyer to annoy somebody.

To annoy someone selling dodgy trainers.

I'd listen.

But you might be able to find out more about him than you think.

You might be able to, you can sort of, you know,

if you are able to contact him through someone, some other means,

hide your identity.

Say, look, I've got to get hold of somebody.

Can I get 100 pairs of these trainers?

Can I get your account detail?

Can I get your email address?

Can I come around and pick them up from your house?

Yeah.

Can you drop them off at the police station, please?

Wow, Scamo Kablams.

Scamo Kablams, what's annoying is I am in desperate need of the pair of running trainers and I've only got my eye on one pair.

Dave?

I am.

I am because I've gone over the 700-mile threshold of my current pair.

Should we get different trainers?

No, I've got my eyes on these now.

You've been sold, haven't you?

On this idea that trainers are any different than any other people.

Oh, completely.

You should be getting fitted for running trainers, Dave.

Not just getting the ones that are popular online.

I was assuming Predators when I was 14.

You've just got to get people.

But you've got to get them right for your foot and for your arch and for your, what do you call it, internationally, pro-nation or anti-nation.

Yeah, but these do it all.

For everyone.

Yeah, for everyone.

But your foot is like a fingerprint.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And this will be my glasses.

Oh, my God.

You're 15 years old, Dave.

I've got to get these ones.

These ones are the best ones.

They are the apparently they're best for short, medium, and long runs.

Yeah, but it's depressing.

Off-road, on-road, wet and dry.

It's the all-round graffiti

and you can wear them to a wedding.

Yeah, yeah.

And to a funeral.

And to a funeral day.

And a Kaylee.

And a Kaylee.

Yeah, I might need to let go of the dream because you just can't get them.

Just go to a running shop and get fitted for the best trainers for you.

Yeah, okay.

Get a pair of leichers.

What is wrong with that?

Surely that's more exciting to find the best trainers for you.

But there's this other pair that I like.

Oh my god.

So now you're right, you're right.

So they look good.

Do you know what?

They're not my favourite looking trainer, but actually.

Would you wear them towards City?

Oh, God, yeah.

How much are they?

I'm not telling you how much.

Why not?

Okay, 200 quid.

Okay.

It's expensive.

It is expensive.

And I nearly got them for 140.

But it turns out they were just clogs.

Just clogs.

Clogs that look like running shoes again.

Well, there we go.

There we go.

Just be careful out there.

Be careful out there, everyone.

Hover over the links.

Check they match the hyperlinks.

Yeah, but it's always a risk on an auction site, isn't it?

I think because

you're not going to be able to do it.

There's no such thing as a free lunch, Dave.

It's too good to be true.

Yeah, exactly.

Right.

We are going to connect.

Where are we connecting?

Are we connecting in Basel?

Are we connecting in Ulunbatar?

Are we connecting on Côte d'Ivoire, Dave?

No, we are not.

We are connecting in Cymru.

Questions are asked, answers are given, expletives are shouted, excuses are uttered.

Connections are made.

Connections are lost.

It's time for the Cymru connection.

It's another Cymru connection.

Ellis thinks his tactics are sheer perfection.

But his questions have one direction.

Where did you go to school?

Do you know Daffy Devons?

No.

Come on, mate.

You must do no.

We've never met at all.

I've had a very interesting week, Cumry Connecting Wise.

Yeah.

Because I was with my people, Wales Away.

Wales Away.

I like like it

I saw you post that is that a song?

Yeah, is that what you actually sing?

Yeah, yeah, yeah

But interestingly night before the game people coming up to me

Who I've named as possible connections really and they're like I can't believe that person doesn't know who I am.

Everyone knows who I am.

So I actually am questioning the veracity of the person in episode whatever.

I had people queuing up a half-time for me to connect with them.

That is mad, really?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, an orderly queue.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, it was actually quite an orderly queue of people who were like, and they would just come up to me and say, name in school.

Unless you have it was absolutely

not emphasize this enough.

Got to get on cameo.

Yeah.

I mean, we're talking big time.

I had people coming up to me and saying,

I've been named more than once.

People saying, why didn't you name me?

Because we met at, you know, Macedonia, you're away, you were a blah, blah, blah.

Lithuanian, you're away.

I saw you at the end of 21's game.

You could have named me when there was that bloke for a new bridge.

It's been a very...

It's a fair time.

It's been a very reconnecting,

heavy couple of days.

The people who'd been named,

it happened twice, and they were just amazed that their names haven't resonated.

And I just had to put an arm around them and say, I'm so sorry.

Are they going to start?

They're all nervous.

Are they going to start printing those enormous flags like they they did of Rafa Benitez in 2005 and just hold them along the whole like away end?

Yeah, yeah, T-fold.

I always wonder who prints those enormous things.

Yeah, they're like clubs or supporter trusts usually.

But they're like 200 feet.

They're massive

square.

I always wonder where they end up.

Yeah,

what to do with that?

Because even if you folded that up, it's not going to fit in a...

house.

No, it's going to fit in a lock-up, isn't it?

Like a garage or something.

City are going through a real phase of having, like, at every big game, having a new flag that drapes down across the whole of the lower tier.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They must have done it about 10 times this season alone.

So where are these...

Is it another tax dodge?

Because they own the company that prints them.

They own the company.

No, John.

That's not proven, is it?

You take all your trophies and all your medals and chuck them in the nearest bind there.

No, we just like flags.

Because you won them by cheating.

They do.

We just like flags.

You won them by cheating.

Sorry about John Alice.

Carry on.

I'm so sorry.

So sorry for Britain.

No, it was a really intense.

It happened to me at the airport.

It just people coming up to me in the street and saying, this is your life is hell.

Yeah, it must be getting annoying in this.

No, it's heaven.

You love it.

It's mad how much he loves it.

I connected three people in 30 seconds at halftime.

Well, that's incredible.

See if you can do it this week, because unfortunately, last week you failed to connect with Caller Sean, despite there being a connection with the comedian Tudor Owen, whose dad had a zoo next to where Sean grew up and whose monkey once landed on Sean's dad's roof.

A cum reconnection open goal if ever there was one.

Ellis's connection rate has gone down to 50% and if he fails to connect this week he's managed a hat-trick of failures something that hasn't done in a while.

Did the BBC Wales fame go to his head?

It looks like it might have.

Some people didn't know that this podcast was a comedy podcast and asked me if this was all I did and that I'd been on the podcast as a guest, like I was like, Sir David Blaine.

Yep.

And I was just walking, I was like doing games.

I've extended over Cardiff Town Centre in a Perspex cube

while someone fries beef burgers underneath.

Asking people what school they went to.

Like there's one guy who didn't know who I was.

He just said, I saw you in the news.

He was like, you're dropping?

Did you go around community centres, run theatres, connected people?

You could do that.

And I said, no, it's not my job.

I said, it's a comedy podcast.

Oh, yeah.

Is it?

And I said, yeah, it is, believe it or not.

My friend John.

You could make a living.

You know, well your retirement could be going around like Welsh art centers and community centers doing connections live.

Because I'm fallible.

So it's real.

You don't get

attention.

Yeah.

It's like when I forgot

to bring towels when I was taking my kids swimming last week and they had to dry themselves with their vests.

I said, I am fallible.

Dad's fallible.

How will he get on today?

We have a caller on the line from Wales.

Hello, caller.

Hello.

Hello.

The next voice you hear will be that of Ellis James with 60 seconds on the clock.

His goal is to come reconnect with you, and your time starts now.

What school do you go to?

Meiskarman in Mole.

Oh, okay, hold you.

33.

Okay, interesting.

Do you know Griff,

the editor, lives in Cardiff?

No.

Okay, that's fine.

Meiskarman, Maiscarmon.

This is annoying.

If you went to university, where did you go?

Abresford.

Oh, Abrestwood.

Okay, what did did you study?

Drama and English.

Oh, okay.

What do you do for a living?

I'm a teacher.

Where do you teach?

At Stetarling and Hope.

In where?

Hope, near Wrexham.

Do you know Matt Thomas used to work on this show?

No.

Okay, that's fine.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Oh, do you must have known people who work at Theatre Croydon with Crigg?

Yes, I used to work there myself.

Ah, right.

Okay, now we're on.

Oh, who's that?

She runs it.

I did a gig there last month.

Do you know Di Davis' daughter?

No.

Oh, I thought.

I thought it was Matt.

Do you know Silky?

I don't know him.

I've been to a few of the comedy gigs and seen him there, but no, don't know him.

That's the closest we got.

That was my suggestion.

Is something going to come to you, Al?

I mean, we've lost it, but at the same time, if that...

Do you know anyone who's related to Received Fans?

No, he did go to my Sky Manager.

Because he did go to my Scarlet Month.

Yeah, much older than me.

He did youth theatre and Theatre Croyde.

Yeah, no.

It feels like there's been a drastic change in Ellis's fortunes.

It feels unconnected.

I don't know.

I thought you were just going to nick it at the end.

I thought that was a good

few questions.

I thought that was a better how old are you and where do you go to school

20 seconds of that that's that's that's the game that kick you yeah that's the that's the bad way you play this game um do you want to head to the sun lounger alice

i also can't at halftime was accused of having a northwalian blind spot oh yeah yeah there's a bit and anyone out who's not in their 40s yes i did this is where i emailed in

and anyone who doesn't know your mom 50s or 60s i can do 50s and 60s so you say it's too old, and when they're below, you say it's too young.

No.

And then afterwards, when the mics aren't on, you're saying it's too old.

And we say, why don't you ask about their kids?

And you go, ah!

But are you going to Sun Lounge or not?

No, I'm not going to Sun Lounge.

What's your name?

I like Kerry.

It's Kerry.

Kerry, do you know of any connections with Ellis?

Well, it depends.

Do you know Nia Dones, who's the...

Do you like commentates on the football?

Yes.

For Boom Sue Wizards' Feast of Football.

Yes.

No.

Yes.

Because she started doing that for a podcast after I left.

So I don't know.

I know her voice very well.

Ellis left under a cloud.

A cloud of not knowing enough about Newport County.

Is that the one?

Is it Nia?

Would Nia be the one for you?

Yeah, she went to school.

Well, actually, she was just born the day after me in the same hospital.

She went to school as well.

Who do you know at Theatre Cloyd?

So Tim Baker, one of the directors there.

Who else would I know?

Terry Hans is one of the directors there.

Because it's had a refurb.

Yeah, Kevin.

I had a big chat about the refurb last time I did with him.

What, the building contractor?

No, who did you talk about the refurb with?

I can't remember.

Do you know anyone involved in the Welsh music scene?

No, not really.

Anyone involved in the Welsh comedy scene?

No.

Do you know Nestor James?

No.

Watch me that.

Yes, it was never going to happen, I'm afraid.

None of the key...

Well, Ellis can't remember anyone he knows at Theatre Cloyd.

No.

That felt like that would have been the connection.

Okay, well, oh dear, Dave,

no one has climaxed.

We've just got to shake hands and leave it there.

Sometimes you don't have the chemistry.

Yeah.

So we're all going to pop for a shower and get a cab home.

We'd have too much to drink.

We'd have too much to drink, all of us.

I'm going to go to KFC.

Ellis is going to go to KFC all the way up.

There's a 24-hour KFC at the services.

I'm going to go to KFC.

Yeah, I need to eat now.

Yeah.

Well, thank you very much for calling, and we will have another attempt at a Cum Reconnection next week.

Thank you.

Bye.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

Wow.

It's huge

for his mindset, Dave.

We know this.

We know this, Dave.

I also, I don't mind it when that happens because I think it proves that we're not just trying to

prove we need be that what he's trying to do is difficult well that but also not all callers will have a connection on their end oh no no no so it's often down to Ellis to be trying to find it for the as the first person to try and find it because clearly Kerry didn't know the connection there and he is now worse at this than he is good no but he fails more often than he succeeds return he will return of course and also The problem is now that we're always going to be around 50%.

Yeah.

But we all

want to run.

You'd have to go on a very long run.

Leicester bottom of the table in March.

They stayed up.

And then the year after they won the Premier League, 5,000 to 1.

Were they bottom in March?

They were bottom in March, yeah.

Nigel Pearson kept them up, and then he left.

And then Claudio took over, and then they won the league 5,000 to 10.

It changed the betting odds industry.

It did.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, if you believe the betting odds industry, the betting industry, it will next happen in the year 7015.

I didn't realise they were bottomed the previous season in March.

That is crazy.

Anyway.

Anyway, now it's time for a made-up game.

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We're going to play a made-up game in a second, but I've had a thought.

I'm going to bring in a map of Wales next week.

And on that map of Wales, I will have written every single person I know in every single town.

That's what, I mean, you should have been doing that for six months.

Yeah, but...

But he's doing it now.

Yeah.

I'm doing it now.

No, it's a great idea.

Because for six months, I've relied on instinct because I'm a flare player.

It's why Neapolitans love Maradona.

You need to be a little bit more Gooch,

a little less both them.

100%.

But who's the one the fans loved?

Well, obviously, both of them, but I don't think anyone disliked.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

They respected Gooch.

Oh, my God.

What an average.

Less King Cladzy Marshall.

His average isn't that great.

Is it it not?

He's scoring in innings or something.

Daff like 333 or.

Yeah, and then 123 in the second innings.

That was against India.

That was the highest ever scored by an Englishman at the time and still is.

Okay.

Wow.

Anyway, but I think he only averaged like 42

tests cricket, which at the time was

standard, but now, obviously, it's much higher than that.

Yeah.

Joe Root averages 41.

51.

51.

But the game has changed so much, hasn't it?

The game has changed.

The bats have changed.

It's all changed.

So, I am going to change.

And I'm going to bring in a map of Wales.

And a big bat.

And a big bat.

Right there.

And if I don't get it, I'm going to hit you and Dave.

Okay.

Okay.

So enjoy that.

And I will.

Do what?

It'll be a soft bat, like Mallet's Mallet.

Okay.

If I don't get it, to purge myself, I'll hit you with a soft bat.

That would be great for the socials.

Put that on the carousel.

Big time.

I wonder what Timmy Mallet's doing these days.

He's painting and cycling.

Is he?

How do you know that?

Because I have an interest in Mallet's socials.

I follow Mallet on socials.

I bet he's good on the old socials.

He's...

I think sort of maybe struggling to find his feet in a post-wide awake club world.

Oh.

I think he had a bit of

some mental health problems after that, but he now has found peace cycling the country and Europe and painting.

That's my dream, apart from the painting.

Yeah.

He's got such a friendly face.

And he really does.

He's exactly the same.

Yeah.

He does.

And he's got the same upbeat attitude.

Oh, yeah.

Dave.

Nice to see him.

He's cycling around.

So Project 2032, when you retire in seven years' time, is that what you're going to do?

I can't paint.

And you can't ride a bike.

I can ride a bike.

I choose not to ride a bike.

I will be doing the same, but without painting an in and a crossover SUV.

He's a good painter yeah he is

he is good

the hidden depths of timmy mallet mallet can't be his surname no i may have i may have misremembered his mental health problems i don't want to because he's maybe i don't want to speak on mallet's behalf maybe he's timmy malay maybe it's timmy mullet

and he and he and he took the english pronunciation and and and sort of forged a career out of it.

He has spoken about his mental health struggles in the past, John.

Okay.

So.

Let's get him on How Do You Co?

Oh, I was thinking that, yeah.

All right, here we go.

Uh, are we ready for a made-up game?

Rapidly becoming a superb interviewer.

This week's jingle is from a previous week's jingle because we uh we need to this week's jingle is a previous week's jingle.

Yeah, that's what I meant.

Uh, it's from Matt.

We loved it.

It's great.

It's Smith's S.

Here it is.

tonight?

These are fresh from the stations on celebrating

all days and I'll be heaven so abuse

and never be warm.

So I thought that was a a take of there as a light, but someone told me it was hand in glove.

Handing glove.

I think it's a little bit from Colin A, a little bit from Colin B.

Yeah.

The only thing it's missing is Andy Rourke's bass.

Because he was such a distinctive bassist, Andy Roque.

His baseline of barbarism begins at home is absolutely fantastic.

It's kissing.

But it's still very good.

And he's done a great Smith's era of Morrissey without lapsing into parody, I would say.

Yeah.

So it's a great job.

Let's have the made-up game, please.

Scores on the doors.

15 all in the 10th game, with John leading five games to four.

If you win three more games, you clinch the first set and have a little surprise.

Little treats.

So tennis lessons.

We do just need to make sure we have a surprise.

We'll have some sort of surprise.

It might vary in impact.

Just give him money.

It's all he wants.

Well, we always have that as a fallback.

Yeah, yeah.

What

Brown enveloped.

Anything left over from the production budget?

Do I need anything at the minute?

Chocolate.

Chocolate?

No.

Well, you say that, but if what we've got planned, and stop talking about it in case it doesn't come off, actually.

I got some.

This is going in my loss folder for next week, so I'll leave it actually.

Oh, is it?

That's a shame.

What a tease towards

a brand new feature.

And I held on and then I cracked.

And the next day they dropped the price.

Well, John wins again.

We'll return next week, which is everyone's new favourite feature.

This week's game comes in from Rosa.

Hello, my sweet blooming cherry blossoms.

We were talking about blossoms just the other podcast, weren't we?

Yes.

I was inspired by your chess clock game the other week to find another way to spin categories-led content.

What I've come up with will be right up Hellas History because it involves gradually increasing pressure and speed.

So here's a game called Welcome to the Metronome.

Oh, lovely.

Like a bleep test.

Well, it's just.

Well, yes.

It's just a real shame we can't use Welcome to the Pleasure Dome because it's a great bit of blummin' music by Frankie Goes to Hollywood, of course.

Did you know that song?

I might knew it if I heard it.

You would.

You would.

It's a banger.

The player will be given a very basic category to list.

The catch is they must then list them quicker and quicker in time with a beat provided by a Metronome.

Oh my god.

I can't juggle, Dave.

I cannot do this.

I mean, even

I am skeptical about how easy this is going to be.

We practiced it in the week.

I believe you can get far enough through it for it to be an entertaining game.

But of course.

But how do you know how fast it's getting?

Let me explain.

Am I going to be humiliated?

Probably.

No, you won't.

No, you won't.

It's a bit of fun.

Okay, okay.

For any consolation, I didn't do very well on a category that I should have really done quite well on in.

Great, so I am going to be humiliated.

Alice, I'm trying to just be on your side to let you you know that we can be rubbish together.

Players will have to list their items on the first beat of the bar.

Every two bars, the tempo will increase in BPM, beats per minute, getting quicker and quicker.

When you fail to give an answer on the beat, your time stops.

So, do you mean, is it a song?

No, it's a metronome.

Alex, we're going to play an example and I'll give an example answer over the top so you'll know exactly how to play.

The players who give the most correct answers win the round.

One player at a time, so the other player will, of course, be in the soundproof booth because we want you both to to use the same category.

Uh, there'll be three rounds in total.

It's giving me flashbacks, Dave, to a big argument on the Small Willy Club WhatsApp group about the difference between three, four, and six, eight.

Oh no, big argument.

Okay, I think this should be fairly basic.

Uh, you answer on the first louder beep of the bar, and I will demonstrate how this will sound.

Uh, and there'll be a one-bar lead into your first answer.

So, let's say the category was colors.

Yeah, uh,

here's how you would play the game.

So, I'll give it a go now so you get an idea.

Red.

Blue.

I've chosen a really easy one.

Green.

Yellow.

Purple.

So you can hear it getting faster.

Magellan.

Turquoise.

Anyway, that's the game.

So you get the...

I like it.

I like it.

The categories are a touch harder, but I still don't think hard enough that are going to just mean that you bail after one Metronome beep.

Yep.

It'll test your ability to keep a rhythm as much as your ability to knock out simple answers.

Dave will be the judge as to whether the player's got close enough to that all-important beat.

Yep.

Are we ready?

Yep.

Who wants to go into the SPB first?

I don't mind doing that.

Okay.

What do you want to listen to?

You get to choose.

Um.

Oh, I'll listen to can, please.

Get a bit of can on for us.

Thank you.

Which Hannah described as the worst music in the world.

That's what Izzy says.

It's actually band in the house.

It makes Hannah anxious.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It makes Izzy feel sick.

It's good, band.

Zasky needs to be cranked up because he hears.

Okay, he's in his element.

He's in his element.

Do you want to hear how the Metronome starts again, John?

Yes, please do.

Okay, so here's how it's going to start.

Right.

Okay.

All right, So, category one

is

comedians, and here we begin:

Catherine Ryan,

Joe Lysett,

Joel Dommit,

Lou Sanders,

Jimmy Carr,

John Robbins,

Ellis James

Joe Wilkinson

Barry Dodds

Carl Donnelly

Sharon Wanjohi

Nathan Caton

Vic Reeves

Bob Mortimer

Jenny Clarence

are you not happy with that?

Nope.

I could have gone so

much further than that, but it was good fun.

Oh, that's annoying.

I was starting, I was right.

It's fine, it's Alice.

Alice, take your little headphones off.

Do you want to know what you've got a beat or not?

Oh, no, he'll get my head.

He'll get in your head.

I'm sensitive enough as it is.

I mean, I've seen your tally chart, so it's massive.

Sorry, it's hard not to show you.

Letters.

A.

B.

Oh, God.

F.

Right.

John, you don't have to go into the booth.

You can hear how he gets on.

Well, no, because he smiles when I do Budly.

I'm not happy with my performance.

I'm not happy with myself.

I'm not happy.

Do you want to put him in the booth?

Because you can't.

It's not to do with a made-up game, is it?

Oh, it can't be asked.

Just do it.

Hey, it's not your choice, John.

It's Alice's choice.

No, it's fine.

Just laugh around.

It's fine.

Get me an eye mask.

Alice, John's grumpy now because he's not happy with how he did.

Well, I'm going going to do, Bumpy, aren't I?

This is letters or numbers.

One.

Two.

Oh, God, eleven.

Here we go.

You ready?

Yeah.

Okay, round one is comedians.

Here we go.

John Robbins.

Rob Beckett.

Lou Sanders.

Harriet Kensley.

Joe Wilkinson

Josh Whitticomb

James A.

Custer

Nish Kumar

Izzy Sutty

Daniel Kitson

James A.

Custer Yes

Been done of course

see John I don't think you should be disappointed I think that was good I know you had more in the locker but to keep thinking of new ones

Dave.

So, John got do I want to do well, or do I want to eviscerate him?

Yeah, and be the best and get the world records.

This is about the made-up game.

Uh, John's 15 to Ellis is 10, so John wins round one.

It's so I could, but in my head, I'm thinking, well, I should be able to do a million.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But it gets faster, and the tension, and you could hear Alice patting along on his little thighs when you were doing yours.

Oh, sorry.

That's all right.

Um, I need to go in the um

SPV Sierra Papa Bravo, please.

What do you want to listen to, John?

I would like to listen to Cass McCoom's Morning Star, please.

I should have done a million.

Michael McIntyre.

Yeah, it's fine in hindsight.

Yeah.

The sound.

John gets sound cancellation on these is out of this world.

Yeah, it's good stuff.

I just want to wear these all the time like this.

Yeah.

Oh, your mic muff's falling off there, John.

What's going on?

There you go.

But this is without any.

Oh.

He's in.

He's in.

He's worried about his tinnitus.

And fair enough.

John's jiggling.

I love it.

Okay.

John's having a great time.

Listening to Casma Coombs.

I'm annoyed.

Do you know what?

I was slightly put off because...

Oh, look at that.

Okay.

I mean, I play football with more comedians than I named.

Yes, so you should have started there.

Yeah, I should have done.

I should have done.

But Ellis, I think this might be your round.

What is it?

Chips.

Hang on, that would just be chips.

Chip shops.

Albany fish bar in Cardiff.

San Gronook fish and chip shop in Car Carmarthen, which is not there anymore.

All right, you're ready for round two.

Good luck, mate.

Round two is

sports venues.

Okay.

Go

Old Trafford

Anfield

Goodison Park

The Emirates

The Yeti Hut

The Swansea.com Stadium

Cardiff City Stadium

Rodney Parade

The Race Course

The Millennium Stadium

Park of Scullislechi

The Gabber

Turf Moor

The Valley

London Stadium

Craven Cottage

Sellers Park

Spurs Stadium

Underhill Stadium Barnett Vicarage Road

Ellen Park Reading

Ah

gone gone gone.

What was the final one?

Ellen Park.

Well Ellen Park was was Reading's old ground.

That's fine.

We didn't have to say they were

just sports venues.

How many was it?

21.

That's good stuff out.

I got a bit worried that I because Ellen Park's not there anymore.

Leave your husband and come with me.

Right.

Good.

Do you want to know how Alice did or do you want to?

I'm sure he did very well.

He did alright.

He did alright.

I've seen your tally chart, Dave.

We've got Alice James here, he's doing very well for himself.

Yeah.

And Ellis, I believe, is the Cymru connector from Camarthan.

That's the one, yeah.

That's the one.

That's the one.

Now, with your help, we'll get him £64,000.

Oh,

okay.

Okay.

But we want to get him up to that £250,000, Dave Dave.

We do, we do.

Right.

Let's blum and well do it.

Okay.

The category is

sporting sporting venues.

Okay, I'm done.

Go

Lords

Edgebaston

Chesterless Street

Twickenham

Cardiff Arms Park

Millennium Stadium

Wembley

Anfield,

Ashton Gate,

Heaton Park.

Why, this is looking at me weird.

Is that one?

Hey, well, you've is that one?

Heaton Park, yeah.

Uh, well, Heaton Park is a field in Manchester.

Do people play sport there?

Not really, no.

Well, why you need to tell me that?

Because then I paused and stopped.

No, no, no, you've got to keep going until then.

If we go back and interrogate, and there was a point where you got one wrong, then you that's where you got one wrong That's where you go

But it doesn't make a difference because if it's right if it's not so it's not if so if you names I stopped because there was Ellis looked at me like it wasn't right.

Well, I don't think it is a sporting venue.

Okay.

So either way so if I that's where if we were doing colours and I said uh I don't know leaves like which isn't a colour

The the game doesn't end.

I get another chance.

It's just we go back we take leaves off.

No leaves would be where you got the answer.

It's the run of right answers on the metronome.

So he he was right to stop then because it was heat.

Yeah, either way.

Whatever would have happened there, the stop will have stopped at nine.

Is it 10 or 9?

Because we're not including Heaton Park, are we, Michael?

So 9.

Oh, can we just double-check that?

It has the only flat green bowling greens in Manchester built for the 2002 Commonwealth Games.

Oh, no!

I mean, we'll give you 10 if you'd like 10.

Well, I'd like to be able to continue.

But you got distracted.

That's not anyone's fault apart from your own.

Yeah, that is true.

So it's...

People shouting at the tennis, isn't it?

Ella's got 21.

Yeah, I was never going to be in there.

It was good stuff.

So it's one all going into the final round.

Oh,

it's a fun ending.

What is it?

Round three, it's one all.

All to play for.

We've not done a time.

Oh, no, we're doing a tiebreaker.

Are you ready?

Yep.

And

there will be some...

It's a touch subject of this, so I'll make the call, but I'll let you keep going until, you know, you fluff your lines and we we can go back and see whether there are any answers there that we're not quite on board with.

But I think it's all good, and you should be on board with what you're after here.

The category is

items you'd find in a kitchen:

teaspoon,

cutlery tray,

knife,

fork,

Dessert spoon

ladle

slotted spoon

sieve

kettle

potato masher

frying pan

saucepan

oven tray

oven glove

flour

salt,

pepper,

cereal,

fridge,

freezer,

carving knife,

bread knife,

knife sharpener,

cafetiere,

milk jug,

greg jug,

cream jug,

ice box,

ice tray,

ice,

smoothie maker, blender.

Wow.

I started to laugh.

I could have done more.

It's fine.

It's fine.

It's fine.

It's fine.

It's fine.

A little few little flourishes towards the end.

There, a bit showboating, you might suggest.

Towards the end.

32, John.

I think we got this.

I think we've got this.

But it's a nice one to do because you're imagining you're in your kitchen.

I thought it was in my kitchen.

You thought you were in your kitchen.

Alice.

Hey.

We're in.

What a song.

What a song.

It's far too late.

It's far too late.

It's far too late.

It's too much.

My god is he hates it.

It's too much.

Oh god.

Do you want any other

one?

No, it'll be good because everyone's in a good mood.

If he'd got three,

his face would be black.

Everyone else would be staring at their feet and Dave would be regretting that we'd ever played the game.

So

he's obviously got 98 or something daft.

It's bang-on.

It's bang-on L.

Izzy's a fear and Michael's staring at their shoes.

Wondering if it's a thing for HR.

God's sake.

So obviously I've got, you know, 240 to beat or something definitely ridiculous.

What is it?

Is it...

I don't know.

I'll tell you.

Commonyms or something, which he knows from his crosswords.

I'll tell you in a second.

Well, I will say, and I said the same to John.

Is it Burroughs of Bristol?

Okay, here we go.

Final round to win.

Why did you hide your tie chart?

There's no answers on there, is there?

Yeah, but you have to see what John got.

Well, it's going to be something insane, isn't it?

It's sensational, but well done.

You can be even more sensational.

No, I can't, Dave.

And I'm not knocking myself even.

Arsenalistic.

I had a sensational season last season.

And they didn't win the league.

They didn't win the league.

Do you know why?

City had a more sensational season.

You can be Man City here.

Is he financially doping?

Or not.

Or not.

150 charges against John.

Right, here we go.

Round three.

Ellis, the Metro is ready to start.

The category is items you'd find in a kitchen.

Here we go.

Knives.

Forks

Spoons

Toasters

Microwaves

Espresso machines

Pouring kettles

Fish slice

Sputula

Mugs

Glasses

egg cups

tea towels

you've gone we've lost you we've lost what was the last one tea towels

you had it they're in the drawer they are sorry they are

and plastic bags plastic bags have come to you yeah I think

in my head I was thinking well plastic bags are next to the tea towels in our yeah you don't keep them in your bedroom

13 and that's respectful 13 yeah What did he get?

But it must have been one.

It was mad.

I mean, it must have been so fast.

It was mad.

And to be fair, and John is corrected, the only reason he really kind of fluffed it is because it was just so funny how fast it was.

Looking forward to it.

It's good, because he starts to a few keepy-uppies at the end, if I do say so.

Myself.

What do you mean by that?

I think, how did you

going through the jugs?

Oh, right, okay.

What food items have worked?

Because in my head, I was thinking of going, you know, breads.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Cheeses.

It's funny that yours are all plurals.

Yeah, I know.

Once I'd gone down plural alley, I thought I was going to stay here.

Good game.

We should keep the Metronome for future things.

I don't know what, but it's a nice...

I never thought the Metronome could be such a fun item.

Yeah, it's really good because even when it's easy, you're thinking, so hard games too easy, but you don't forget that it's going to get harder.

And then it becomes even more fun.

Good stuff.

Who was it from again?

It was from

Rosa.

Thanks for watching.

Thanks, Rosa.

And send in your made-up games to Ellisandjohnbc.co.uk.

I was scanning my kitchen.

I was going from right to the other side.

Yeah, me too.

I started in the cutlery drawer.

Yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We had a backup round, but I feel like that's enough, isn't it?

I was scanning the kitchen, but in my head, I'm thinking if Dave's going to love food items, you can go all day because then you're going to be taking you forever.

Well, you know, because

you went down food alley for a certain bit, didn't you?

And had a you got a good rich feign of form there when you're rich because you're just going through your cupboards, lettuces, eggs, yeah, yeah, it's good stuff.

Oh, I'm exhausted.

What have we got left?

A petty pot?

Time to go, Dave.

Is it time to go?

Oh, it is.

We're having so much fun.

Time to

say goodbye.

I ate an Oreo cookie before we started, and I've hit a slump in a big, big way.

Yeah, that if we were still alive, it happens.

What happens then?

This used to happen then.

Oh, yeah, it did.

Yeah, that's why we never won any awards.

We won loads of awards.

Yeah, yeah, for the previous.

Robbins is

rapidly becoming a supreme interviewer.

Superb.

Superb.

Supreme would suggest it's Celestial.

It's going to be me up against A.I.

Parkinson, isn't it, Dave?

Yeah,

I am now on it.

I need a big upper.

Okay.

Because I'm on an Oreo cookie downer.

It was more of a...

And I asked him for the biggest slice.

You didn't need the biggest one.

I didn't.

And I was meant to save it after the Bureau, but it didn't last till I got out of the lift.

Should we have a big Chinese, Dave?

No, you do not need it.

I never thought it would be biscuits that killed you.

No.

You don't know medium Chinese.

No, no, I've got a courier waiting for me at home.

Curry and Yellowstone and maybe a spot of adolescence if we can squeeze it in.

Have you watched my adolescence?

No.

Bloodmen.

Madolescence.

Some of the moments are Madolescence.

It's a crazy series.

Is it a laugh?

No.

No.

Lizzie wants to watch it.

Why didn't she watch it in one room and you listen to Can in the other room on your headphones?

Yeah.

And then

we'll be married for 50 years.

Yeah, exactly.

That works.

That's workable.

Greg, do you want to?

I mean, we are done.

I mean, we're going to, we do really want to squeeze in a petty parliament at some point because it's still a feature we enjoy.

We just never David got five minutes till I start to cry.

Okay.

And your shame wells.

If you have, Shamewell, a made-up game.

Just general correspondence, if you'd like to put yourself forward for Cymry Connection, a petty parliament.

Especially nice to hear from cymru connectors above 50 and below 30.

we want an octogenarian don't we if we can help it we want a nonogenarian dave we want a decahedron

uh yeah we would it would be nice the email address is ellisandjohn at bbc.core.uk to have a welsh speaker well she was today

but but i i'm not doing it in welsh because obviously yeah it's exciting we're on five live

yeah well why shouldn't why shouldn't English people have to listen to a bit of Welsh every now and again?

John, we're going to kiss now for now.

Well, I'm I'm going to start to cry in three minutes.

It's not going to stop me.

I could kiss tears.

Salty kiss.

Great.

Well, do you know what?

Let's write.

I don't want to see John cry.

No, I don't mind doing it.

But what time is it?

We're all right for time.

For time.

We're all right for time.

It'd be nice.

He also need a wee.

And he needs a wee.

This is just all the more for merrier for next week, Dave.

Okay, well, say it for next week.

It's good stuff.

Goodbye, everyone.

Sucks.

The new musical has made Tony award-winning history on Broadway.

We demand to be heard.

Winner, best score.

We demand to be seen.

Winner, best book.

We demand to be quality.

It's a theatrical masterpiece that's thrilling, inspiring, dazzlingly entertaining, and unquestionably the most emotionally stirring musical this season.

Suffs!

Playing the Orpheum Theater October 22nd through November 9th.

Tickets at BroadwaySF.com.