SUPERFLY #41 - Jim Gaffigan JOINS!
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Transcript
Speaker 1
You know, when it gets colder, I always fall in the same trap. Heavy meals, too much takeout, and suddenly I'm like, why do my jeans hate me? I know.
Yeah, me too.
Speaker 1
I mean, I'll open the fridge in December and it's like half a pizza and an orange from 1997. Not a lot of healthy options, David.
But here's the thing. Staying on track doesn't have to be impossible.
Speaker 1
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Speaker 1
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It's about time.
Speaker 1 I'd rather spend 30 minutes working on a bit for my hilarious act than 30 minutes staring into my oven going, is this thing even on? Right?
Speaker 1 This is that one little thing that keeps you sane during the cold months. No stress, no junk, just done.
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Speaker 1
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All right. That's forkfulmeals.com.
Speaker 1 Code POD50.
Speaker 1
That's Pod50. Seriously, don't wait.
Your future self will thank you. Yes.
Thank you for not feeding me the leftover lasagna for the 12th time.
Speaker 1 Hey, David, when it comes to gifting, you know, I've learned there are two types of presents, okay?
Speaker 1 The ones that get returned and the ones that instantly become a favorite. Do you agree? Yeah, that's Jenny Bird jewelry definitely falls in the second category.
Speaker 1
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Speaker 1
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That's perfect if you're a last-minute shopper like me. That's right.
Speaker 1
I mean, I just want to do this when I hear that. Way to go.
Way to go. And because the styles are so versatile, they always make an outfit feel pulled together, David.
Speaker 1 Without trying too hard, David, not talking about you.
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Speaker 1
And your hand could shake. You don't know.
You're just like, yeah, it's almost too much. And especially if you've never, I mean, she's giving speeches, but it's a different animal.
Speaker 2
I think my... Let's be honest, you guys.
What's more difficult? Being on SNL or being president? You know what I mean? What's SNL? It's just different. Absolutely.
Speaker 1
Okay, I want to start because you can tell me what I do and I'll tell you what you do. Okay.
I see you do this sometimes, like when you're thinking. Oh, and sometimes.
God, I touch my face.
Speaker 1 Sometimes like this, the pinky.
Speaker 1 really the pinky in the ear i think unless i made that's not unless i made it up no but you're you observe people i kind of observe voices and stuff on people which i didn't do before s and l because you sort of had to you started to pay attention yeah but something you do is this i'll lean back
Speaker 1 yeah
Speaker 1 and that is
Speaker 1 that is a little bit Just kind of stretching my back because I'm kind of in a high chair. But yeah, it's probably
Speaker 1
a psychotic. stress release.
Like, oh, let's not try too hard. Why don't we listen to the guests? Why do we have to overlap? I do.
I go like this after I interrupt everyone. I go,
Speaker 1 I got to reload to get my energy to interrupt again.
Speaker 1
I listen to other podcasts sometimes, and boy, do they, you know, we are not the kings of talking over our guests. I'll just put it that way.
Interrupt us, interrupt us, momentariness.
Speaker 1
Well, my my head is sort of... Listen, so my hair is all super helmet because why? You might be doing this today too.
Dana, as you know, Dana is in New York.
Speaker 1 They're doing an SNL photo today.
Speaker 1 And it's in L.A.
Speaker 1 It's, I've heard
Speaker 1 a little birdie. I think it's because there's too many.
Speaker 1 They're doing sections, so New York and L.A.
Speaker 1 And then they're going to try to make a cover where they jam us all on that.
Speaker 2 Yeah.
Speaker 1 It's not Vanity Fair, so I'm not, I'm not going to give them my total blue steel looks, but
Speaker 1 it is a magazine. Yeah, I mean, it's a penny saver.
Speaker 1 Depending on where you are in the frame, your head would maybe be the size of a dime, but probably
Speaker 1 smaller than a dime, a half a dime.
Speaker 1 So I'm not going to, you know, and you're supposed to dress like how you are, right?
Speaker 1 would you explain what we're talking about
Speaker 1 we're supposed to do a photo for the 50th anniversary with people that were involved in the show but there's so many people i don't know if it'll be a full cattle call like at dodger stadium or it's going to be isn't it for new yorker magazine sorry new yorker magazine it's yeah or new york magazine i don't know oh that that's it new york magazine sorry and
Speaker 1 Who is the one we famously had the fight with back in the old days? We wanted to beat the guy up. Was that New York Observer, or was it New York Magazine?
Speaker 1
Probably. Do you remember that? Yeah, Atlantic, or I don't know what they were.
They wrote, they came and stayed with us for a week, and we buddied up with a guy. And then he wrote a horrible
Speaker 1
oh, that's right. Yeah, and just shit all over.
And it was Adam and Farley, and everyone was like, Let's go down there. Let's beat the fuck out of this.
That was a total disaster.
Speaker 2 Lauren, no,
Speaker 1 if so, I'm looking the other way.
Speaker 1 I have a new impression you just made me think of. Lauren Michaels has a bullfrog in a pond.
Speaker 1 No.
Speaker 2 No.
Speaker 1 No.
Speaker 1 By the way, and guess what? Can I ask you a question?
Speaker 1 Too many.
Speaker 1 Go ahead.
Speaker 1 We actually in our pond up on our farm once had a male bullfrog sitting there in the middle of the night on the rocks and just cattle called, oh, a frog call to all the female frog.
Speaker 1 It's just super loud for like hours. Just trying to get some puss in the middle of the night.
Speaker 1 But look, but the New York magazine,
Speaker 1 open for biz. Open for biz.
Speaker 1
Everyone listening is like, you know, that's funny. That doesn't happen on my pond.
We trapped a raccoon the other day in a cave. You've got a coon.
And that, whoops.
Speaker 1 And then, of course, you go to Harrison's Hardware. You get big and and tense gloves, and you're kind of wrestling with a squirrely raccoon while you were cruising down going to Koi to get some sushi.
Speaker 1 And you've got to wrestle it
Speaker 1
when it's already killed. Yeah.
You're cruising high in your land cruiser, looking around, pulling up to the valet, walking in like some kind of stud superstar and ordering. Look at me, Gari.
Speaker 1 I go, give me that octopi and half the time when you get the sushi you go i don't like the octopi you always see a little and you go you know a good doctor could bring this back to life yeah that's that's that notion that that's the gross part it brings you to the table it's still alive and that somewhere it it yeah
Speaker 1 i don't like that
Speaker 1 i like it medium well i don't like it rare i don't want it hamburger rare i don't know if i like this look today but go ahead well here's how i'll i'll come around to this
Speaker 1 new york Magazine asked me in the email: would you like a groomer?
Speaker 1 We have hair people, and also would you like a personal groomer that we can fly in?
Speaker 1
What? Yeah, groomer. Now, a groomer, spoiled.
You have makeup, you have hair. This is sorry, inside if you're going to talk show, but a groomer is like an overarching
Speaker 1
person that tells you how to groom yourself up. I said, I don't, you know, I don't know.
Heather, what about that?
Speaker 1 Is that a groomer? Yeah. Or is it a, do you have a stylist, Dana?
Speaker 1 Men, you call them groomers. It's the overarching name of it.
Speaker 2 Yeah, I think. Yeah.
Speaker 1 My whole goal is bedhead next day hair. So I don't really need people coffing my hair.
Speaker 1 You know, when you go on a movie and by the time you get in front of the camera, it doesn't look anything like you.
Speaker 1
You go, mine is bedhead hair. I don't care.
That's my look. That's really my look most days.
Today they just went meow shellac. I think it looks very tidy, very early.
Steve McQueen.
Speaker 1 You know, you look a little biker.
Speaker 1 I'm probably, I'm older than Steve McQueen. When did he
Speaker 1
identify? 48 or 50. He went to the stars.
God dang, really?
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 1
I had a weird SNL thing. The sketch got cut, and I feel bad about it.
We had
Speaker 1
the show was loaded. Kamala was the.
I say it wrong. Kamala was in the 28-minute cold opening.
Yes. And it was
Speaker 1 the week. So were you?
Speaker 1 What I wanted to say, because this election happened, and a lot of people
Speaker 1 are upset, which is normal. And it was pretty much decided by 2 a.m., I guess, because I went to bed and I was like.
Speaker 1 sleep
Speaker 1 12 or something my time in New York. And then I woke up and it was like, I checked and it says Trump wins.
Speaker 1 And
Speaker 1
here's my takeaway from the coverage last night. Did you watch any of it? Maybe you didn't.
I did watch some. Yeah.
Speaker 1 They have these guys, and I know they've done this for several cycles now, but it seems more sophisticated. The guy's up with the map and he's like a wizard moving things around.
Speaker 1
And here you see in Calico County, here, Joe Biden carried 28,000. And come on, here.
The Metro, it was like just this massive
Speaker 1
intensity. There's so much going on.
Yeah, more than more than ever. Like little circles.
Little circles. Little counties.
These counties, this is how they voted. This is how they will vote.
Speaker 1 This is what we think they'll vote. Very complex.
Speaker 1 We're going to talk, you know, when we have Gaffigan on in a little bit,
Speaker 1 he was taped right before the election, just so we are clear. So we are talking about after.
Speaker 1
And election night. He was taped before election night.
Yeah. That day.
So he, if we don't mention that, he didn't see the magic man.
Speaker 1
And see these blue circles, that means a lot of young college voters could be coming in late over here. But these little red dots, these are rural voters.
These are really, really stupid people.
Speaker 1 And they live way out.
Speaker 1
Yeah, it's so true. They kept it pretty neutral.
I think they, both of them seem very scientific. CNN.
These hay seeds out here.
Speaker 1 Yeah, I'd flip back and forth because I sort of want to get a real gauge. Some talk one way.
Speaker 1 It's funny because sometimes they don't count, you you know, they don't count anything officially as far as a state for a while. I kind of like if they wait because
Speaker 1
there's too many they can flip, it's too close. You know, they'll say like 10 things in a row that looks like the state's going to be won by Kamala or Trump.
They go, but what I said means nothing.
Speaker 1
Anything could change. Don't listen to me.
Let's just give it away. But these counties are not going.
And then they put Biden versus Trump 2020. And here you see the Mech Pigs here.
Speaker 1
He's up one and a half percent over this time last time. I mean, it was amazing.
I was exhausted. It's really hard on you.
Speaker 1 I do look forward to the it's hard on you. The um
Speaker 1 political ads going away.
Speaker 1 Did you choke up? Political ads? No, I turned into RFK.
Speaker 1
A political ads going away. It's like someone who's really sad, for example.
So I'm just really upset about the political ads going away. I started crying.
No, I choked on something.
Speaker 1 But yeah, the political ads and the local ones.
Speaker 1
Oh, yeah. Prop 47.
Bill Squankmeyer killed someone. Oh, you act like you didn't know that?
Speaker 1
You know, you vote for him if you want to die. Proposition 119 to help the children.
Don't you want to help the children?
Speaker 1 Mary Wang doesn't want you to know she beats her babies.
Speaker 1
She has 11 babies and beats the shit out of them. You didn't hear it from us.
Mary Wang really doesn't know a lot about this hat.
Speaker 1
Bill Campbell likes to climb mountains and throw rocks on nursery school kids. Do you want to stop, Bill Campbell? Prop 111.
Because stop throwing
Speaker 1 a rock
Speaker 1 kid going like this.
Speaker 1 He built a roller coaster that exploded at the state fair. And then he laughed.
Speaker 1
Is that who you want? Oh, you want that guy. Oh, okay.
He strangled a crosswalk guard and then walked away. Isn't it time we put them behind bars? Proposition 1348.
Cause it's time.
Speaker 1 Do you remember when Jim Jenkins put a nun in a sleeper hold?
Speaker 1 We do. Here's a clip.
Speaker 1
Vote for him if you want. I I don't know about you.
I don't want to go into a guillotine hold.
Speaker 1 Do you remember when Kathy Wood flying slapped her pet duck in the face?
Speaker 1 This ad paid for
Speaker 1
this ad is against duck slapping. Paid for the committee to duck.
It says it's a duck slapping.
Speaker 1 This ad was paid for by the duck.
Speaker 1 Tired of seeing.
Speaker 1 Tired of seeing rabbits bullied.
Speaker 1 This ad is paid for the Don rabbits from the bully.
Speaker 1
Now they can just talk about it fast. Okay, go ahead.
I have to show you a picture just because we're on the subject, which we're not. This is a mystery picture I just got
Speaker 1 because,
Speaker 1 you know, Lojo, Lori Joe,
Speaker 1 who's been working with Norm forever.
Speaker 1
She's going through his stuff. She just sent me a picture.
It's kind of a tear jerk. It's just funny because I have no idea what this is from.
Here's a funny, here's a funny picture.
Speaker 1 I go, Lori Joe, I don't remember this, but Norm really fell apart at the end.
Speaker 1 Is that Norm?
Speaker 1 No, I said, this is
Speaker 1 rubbing face. This is,
Speaker 1
I don't know what. I'm by Trellis.
Is that what it's called, Heather?
Speaker 1 All I'm saying, when I look at this, because of the stories I've heard, when a chimp goes full chimp, you are in danger in that picture, sir.
Speaker 1 If that trip chimp decides to turn and eat your face in one second, there's not a thing you could do or sever off camera.
Speaker 1 So you got to be careful he says i have the strength of a much bigger chimp than i am by the way he has pants on so he's sort of domesticated but i'm holding this and she said there's another picture of norm holding another chimp i'm like where are we maybe this is when we went to the zoo and taught animals how to do stand-up
Speaker 1 and
Speaker 1 sketches i've been around chimps but i don't remember holding one like that for a photo i'm holding it wrong but i don't even know how i'm where's my arm i don't know what's going on do you have friends who look at how
Speaker 1 dress up indigenous chimpanzees into clown clothes and then hold them for photos? Pay for the people who want to keep chips' dignity.
Speaker 1 I don't know about you, but if I'm a chimp, I don't want to look like a jackass.
Speaker 1
Paid for by chimps that don't want to look like jackasses. Yeah.
Okay. That was a good one.
Speaker 1
It wasn't bad. You made a chimp look like a jackass.
I don't know what the third is there. There's got to be a third.
Yeah, I don't know. You know, jackass.
Speaker 1 Also, there's a big hubbub if we're going into stories about
Speaker 1 it's sort of political.
Speaker 2 There's a lot of stories.
Speaker 1
The squirrel. This is a tough story for Heather here.
This is a tough story for anyone to hear. The squirrel was
Speaker 1 euthanized
Speaker 1 because,
Speaker 1 oh, yeah, New York's decision to
Speaker 1 seize is rough, too.
Speaker 1
That reminds me, I got to get a power crunch. So the New York decides to get one specific squirrel.
Why?
Speaker 1 Do you know this story?
Speaker 1 I've only heard about about peanut the squirrel but i didn't know they're euthanizing him in new york when there's 10 million squirrels why this squirrel
Speaker 1 by the way you kill an animal that's the front page people will flip out so
Speaker 1 understandably there was a squirrel they called in that it bit someone heather or might have bitten someone
Speaker 1 oh turned rabbit or something so they say oh in fear of rabies but And then they got there.
Speaker 1 First question they asked, do you have any cameras in the house? Why? I'm getting to the juicy part.
Speaker 1
They also found a raccoon, took that, euthanized that. They said, in case people have rabies and it's like crazy.
So now, I think I got that right.
Speaker 1 But now the guy says, they asked if we have cameras because the neighbor was mad. They do only fans.
Speaker 1 So they were looking for a reason to
Speaker 1 bother them. And they didn't like that.
Speaker 1
And I don't know. I'm sort of making this up.
But they were, they think that was the reason
Speaker 1 they wanted,
Speaker 1 they didn't like them because they're doing OnlyFans, like a couple or something.
Speaker 1
Like, not one fact, not nothing, nothing. It's a fascinating.
But I will say,
Speaker 1 I know it really petered off at the end. But,
Speaker 1 and then I thought, is the guy getting attention for the OnlyFans?
Speaker 1 Even though the squirrel is a national story.
Speaker 1 Everyone is. You need attention to trend on OnlyFans or everything.
Speaker 1
We just don't do crazy stuff. We would never hurt an animal to get ratings on our podcast.
Newsflash. Secondarily, who decided to call killing an animal euthanizing an animal? Bill Euthanize?
Speaker 1 Bill Euthanize invented the word euthanize. So people,
Speaker 1
but that sounds pretty good. He wasn't killed.
He was euthanized.
Speaker 1 Hey, for people to stop
Speaker 1 bite anyone?
Speaker 1 People that want to just go back to the word killed.
Speaker 1 Okay, let's go to the stories then, because should we or what do you want to talk about?
Speaker 1
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Speaker 3 Hey, everybody, it's me, Bill Maher. If you're not watching or at least listening to Club Random, you're really missing something good and something unique.
Speaker 3 Because I don't think we look or sound like any other podcast, and that's by design.
Speaker 3 My life's quest has been to do some kind of show that captured the level of intimacy and the lack of artifice you would see if you saw me off camera talking to a friend.
Speaker 3
No one else in the room, plenty of pot and booze, and nothing planned. This is a show where I get high talking to someone I'm interested in to get to know and to laugh with.
It's not an interview.
Speaker 3 It's wild. And I'm having a ball and the guests are having a ball and you will too.
Speaker 3 So please follow Club Random with Bill Maher and see new episodes every Monday on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 1
All right. Cold mornings, holiday plans, endless to-do lists.
I just want my wardrobe to be simple, Dana. I just want pieces that look sharp, feel amazing.
Makes sense. And I'll use every day.
Speaker 1
You know what I mean? That's Quince. That's it.
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Speaker 1 Go to quince.com/slash slash fly for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in canada too that's q-u-in-ce.com slash fly free shipping 365 day returns quince.com slash fly all right i'll tell you about my halloween costume idea okay it's not jason kelsey it is
Speaker 1 picture this idea it's it's for it's for the 40 plus crowd so i have scraggly brown hair about down to here and I have like a striped shirt on
Speaker 1
and a Coke spoon around my neck. And I go as Peppermint Chatty.
Hey, man, what's going on? How's your Halloween going? I'm going to start working out.
Speaker 1 You know who Peppermint Patty is, right? Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1
Peppermint Patty. And okay, I see it now.
Can we have a picture of this? No, I'm just saying I want to go next year as Peppermint Chatty. Oh, I see.
Speaker 1
Yeah. Oh, there it is.
What
Speaker 1 now? Looks young.
Speaker 1 Yeah. No, this is Trump during his speech to
Speaker 1
claim victory in the presidential thing. I mean, he just was really rested.
He finally
Speaker 1
took a really long nap. I took a long nap and I couldn't believe it.
And here I am. But I guess that's actually Trump.
Someone sent this to me. I guess it's Trump as a little kid.
Speaker 1 Or is it a kid who looks like Trump or is it Photoshop?
Speaker 1 Or is it AI or is it none of the above? Let's go to the phone. You know, Mom, what I can hear is
Speaker 1
perfectly trumps. I know.
It's too, it definitely has to be. You're right.
It's a como for in the kids' one.
Speaker 1
You know, I'm doing terrific and I can use some milk. And you know how I like it.
I like it the regular way. So let's get busy, mom.
You know how I do these things. And you look at it and you see it.
Speaker 1
Yeah, you know how I do these things. Also, what did he? Oh, he said in his speech, he goes, and I'm not going to rest.
I'm like, I think you need to rest a little because
Speaker 1 he's older and he's been campaigning campaigning for straight for a month. He's got a
Speaker 1
little mini dock of when he said, I'm going to run for president 2022. And he was almost, you could hear the crew stifling laughs.
Like, oh, come on, man. You're so over.
Come on, guy.
Speaker 1
Don't put us through this. It is the most, you got, I mean, you just can't.
He's like radioactive. You couldn't kill him if you tried.
It's like,
Speaker 1 unbelievable. Whoopty whoopies.
Speaker 1
All right. You have a picture of, let's go back to Jason Kelsey.
Yeah, we can trend on this one.
Speaker 1
Well, these guys are, of course, our buddies. Jason was on the show.
So that's a very serious picture of him. Is that his new headshot? I don't mind it.
Speaker 1 So
Speaker 1 he's wearing that Madonna microphone.
Speaker 1
So he goes to a game. Of course, I know nothing.
He goes to football, college game. He's leaving.
You know, when you leave, people come up and talk to you.
Speaker 1 But also to get clout, some people start trouble, of course, because
Speaker 1
getting in a situation with a celebrity is way better because you're going to wind up minimal on TMZ. So, for good or bad, just want to get attention.
So, he used a slur
Speaker 1
referring to his brother. And I would say this from observing and having Jason on the Kelsey brothers.
Like, if it was, if it was right on Jason, I don't think he would have
Speaker 1 gotten tweaked by it. But
Speaker 1 when you attack my brother,
Speaker 1 I don't, it's the kelseys go full kelsey at that point and in this case the guy is compared to a regular human being he's he's exceptionally strong like you would not want him
Speaker 1 what are you doing so it's an act of kindness to take his phone and smash it as opposed to
Speaker 1 the man's head so sure and you know i think i saw the story and then jason fought back and it sort of went badly for both for everybody involved fine but i get mad like that too and i think there's not enough attention on the guy that did it.
Speaker 1 Like
Speaker 1 how
Speaker 1 uncool that was. They're just more
Speaker 1 saying, Jason, are you sure you apologize? Should we accept this? But go look at the instigator of everything who's, I don't know, he got his phone broken. Who cares? He said something for me.
Speaker 1
He got attention. He got a little and out of the blue to fuck with him to get a reaction.
But you saw him walking until he said, my brother. So it's kind of
Speaker 1
he ain't heavy. He's my brother.
So don't mess with my brother is what I'm getting from them.
Speaker 1 And also, if you're going to yell something at a Kelsey and you yell at the other brother, you go to Travis and you say something about
Speaker 1 his brother, you're going to get similar situations. You're going to get something, but the cell phone was an act of kindness rather than a right cross in the face.
Speaker 1 Because, you know, when you're 270 pounds, you can really hurt people. You know, I have that.
Speaker 1 And the thing is, people are on the street sometimes and they'll yell, David, spade and whatever, pejorative. And, you know, I go, I go nuclear.
Speaker 1 i'm scraping i go low then i go high i'll take three to get in
Speaker 1 they say dana and i say yes and they go oh are you dana and then it gets confusing and then i take their phone i try to lift it and then i throw it one guy said to me whatever whatever whatever happened to david spade and i slapped his face really hard but nothing bitch
Speaker 1 and that was our manager mark gervitz
Speaker 1 i was kidding
Speaker 1 i just want to add one simple question why doesn't spade like money money?
Speaker 1 Why won't he get in the rocket ship and fly for 12 hours in a snowstorm? Spade likes money.
Speaker 1 Apparently, you know. Rob Lowe likes money.
Speaker 1 We have to make,
Speaker 1
I think Mark would like this. We have to make, we each have them, little puppets of like a little frog or something like this.
It kind of looks like our manager.
Speaker 1
Yeah, you apparently don't like money because it is like a puppet show at this point. You go, Mark, I'm flying around the globe three times.
I got a globe in my office. It doesn't look that big.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 Trust me. It's
Speaker 1
trust me. Trust me.
You're going to like it when you get the check. But I go, I thought it was going to be more money.
The landscape has changed. That's a good one.
It's not good out there right now.
Speaker 1 Everybody's getting hurt.
Speaker 1
I go, really? Smartless is getting hurt? Not them. Everybody's taking a handcuff.
Trust me. Take it ahead.
Trust me. They're not making what you think.
I go,
Speaker 1
I think they're doing fine. Everybody's getting a haircut.
That's a good one. Everybody's getting a haircut.
Everybody's taking less. Everybody's taking less.
Speaker 1
All right. Next story, even though Mark's the funniest one.
He's the funniest.
Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. How long have we done? Okay.
Speaker 1
Kelsey's story. Okay.
Oh, this is another Kelsey story. This is, they made,
Speaker 1
I think Heather knew it. Did you know this? They made a Hallmark movie, but based on Taylor and Travis.
Oh, okay. Some third party, not them.
Okay. Let's look at the pic.
Speaker 1
I don't think they're part of it. Yeah.
You should ask him. I see.
Oh, no. They make him look like an idiot right away.
Speaker 1
Why would a great-looking football player have a chance? He's the best receiver in the world. Get his number.
It's her, it's her! I want to see you again.
Speaker 1
Like regular people, huh? Don't screw this up. I promise not to fall in love with this.
Oh, of course. There's an imaginary little sister.
Speaker 1 I just can't believe they got a documentary crew to follow him around like this.
Speaker 1 It's so spot on.
Speaker 2 We're trying to keep this a secret.
Speaker 1
Lathe Squamblombler. He's nice to me in a flumny production.
Is this the whole fucking movie? My God. Look at how much she looks like Taylor Swift on stage.
Speaker 1
Oh, boy. I'll tell you what.
They would never make this with just comedians like us and a pop star. You know, he's funny.
Get his number.
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 1
He tackled her down and married her. But I'm sure in this movie, they get married.
What do you think?
Speaker 1 yes, because they want ratings and they want money, right? They like money.
Speaker 1 See, people on homework like money. Let's ask Heather.
Speaker 2 Uh,
Speaker 1 Heather, what do you think of having a boyfriend who's like six eight to
Speaker 1 sixty
Speaker 1 as your boyfriend? And he can pick you up, throw you over his shoulder, swing you around, throw you in a stroller. You know, I mean,
Speaker 1 is there,
Speaker 1 are you asking, is it good that he's a football player or that he's huge or that that he's rich?
Speaker 1 Like he just carries her out on stage like a little baby and she's like five inches and she's not, you know, and he says, don't drop the baby, which is kind of sweet. You know, Taylor Swift.
Speaker 1 So, Heather, weigh in on the size of the man. I'm not talking about a romantic.
Speaker 1 Something where ladies like to always feel a little bit smaller than their guy. Can you hear that? Ladies like to feel a little smaller than the guy.
Speaker 1 As long as it's consensual. Oh, she says, is it consensual? We don't know.
Speaker 1
I I think it's consensual between Taylor Swift and Dragon. What if it wasn't in this Hallmark movie? That's where they kind of go wrong.
Yeah, he just turns. It's time for me to score a touchdown.
Speaker 1 What?
Speaker 1 Now
Speaker 1 she's a hostage in his basement.
Speaker 1 Where's the pop star? He's like, I don't know. She's with you.
Speaker 1
You know, and then the cops are like, doof, doof. He opens the trapdoor and looks down.
You'll get fed tonight.
Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly. See, that's a ball player.
Speaker 1 If they spun it like that, I'd probably watch most of it.
Speaker 1 Um, a little silence of the lambs in there,
Speaker 1
keep it exciting. I wish them all the best.
They have to be, if you take Trump as a metric, as a metric of resiliency, no matter what's thrown at him, he just keeps coming.
Speaker 1 The world attention on this couple, just think of them as it's Taylor and Travis. They're just dating, you know, they're dating
Speaker 1
this and go with it and not go crazy. It's good on the storm.
Yeah. To make cameras, got to get away.
Listen, when people know you're dating and everyone comments, it's already hard. And then
Speaker 1 add that times.
Speaker 1 Well, it's a Hollywood story. So it's the
Speaker 1 handsome football star, you know, world-class Super Bowl winner, just
Speaker 1
what women like in a man, he is, you know, and then she's supernaturally talented and beautiful. It's like kind of a fairy tale.
And we're all pins and needles.
Speaker 1 I talked to Chapel Roan about it at the show. She's a huge fan of our podcast.
Speaker 1 Where is she?
Speaker 1
I wonder if she leaned in. This is where she's supposed to lean in.
I just made that
Speaker 1 in case she's listening.
Speaker 1 Did you talk to her? Do you go up and go, hey, do you act like Biden the whole time when you talk to people?
Speaker 1 Well, yeah, I mean, we talked with,
Speaker 1
well, yeah, I do. Yeah, I mean, they want to hear the Biden.
You know, I ran into into some nice people, had some nice things to say at the party.
Speaker 1 I don't want to name drop Jon Stewart, but it doesn't matter who was there.
Speaker 1 But
Speaker 1 people,
Speaker 1 you know, Biden's a new character that's about to leave the stage.
Speaker 1 But I think he should walk around the White House with a t-shirt that says 81 on it.
Speaker 1 What's that mean? Because in 2020, he got 81 million votes. And Sweden,
Speaker 1
Kamala got 66 million. So he should just have a t-shirt.
It's 81. What does it mean?
Speaker 1 I should say 81M and then under it. You like that?
Speaker 1 How about just 81 million? Why are we hiding and pretending?
Speaker 1 You got to help people a little bit. Yeah, 81 million.
Speaker 1
I would have beat him like a drum. I would have wanted.
People know that.
Speaker 1
Come on, I'm being serious. I would have beat him like a drum.
I did it before. You could do that this week on the show.
You should be in your room with a cigarette going, you know what?
Speaker 1 People can do the one index finger tap of the ashes because you'd think mostly, and it's kind of like that or something. I guess somebody doesn't want to win.
Speaker 1 But,
Speaker 1
you know, it's just, it's, everything's a human story. I don't know how it feels to lose the presidency.
Trump knows how. He got a little angry about it.
He knows how to win, though.
Speaker 1 He's had that twice, you know, so.
Speaker 1
Looks good on the res. Hopefully tomorrow he won't say it.
I just changed it. I talked to the Supreme Court and I can do three terms starting now.
I'm going to 90.
Speaker 1 I know how to be 90 and I'm going right there.
Speaker 1 All right, one more story, and then we got to go because we got a good guest.
Speaker 1
We have a really good guest today. We got a really good guest.
Here we go.
Speaker 1 Okay.
Speaker 1
Let's see. Okay, this is just a goofy one.
So this guy is going to try to walk through this hula hoop.
Speaker 1 Big shoulders,
Speaker 1
trying to get through a hula hoop. ain't no way, bro.
Ain't no way, big.
Speaker 1 Okay, you can turn the volume down.
Speaker 1 Okay.
Speaker 1
Here he goes. He's a big guy.
He's costumes.
Speaker 1 He puts his sweaty sweat napkin in his hat. Ain't you doing it blindfolded all?
Speaker 1 He's creeping up on it. Oh.
Speaker 1 Okay.
Speaker 1
That's pretty good, right? It wasn't even hard. It wasn't even close.
What's this guy say? He's blown away.
Speaker 1 he said, nah, bro. He's uh perplexed as we are.
Speaker 1 This is the highlights of the world's Instagrams.
Speaker 1
That's out there. That's a good harmless one.
No, it didn't look like he could fit through. And then he went back and he went through fast and he leaned down a certain way.
Speaker 1
It's kind of like when you're moving a refrigerator, a couch through a door frame. And some reason, you know, you have to lift it up and it creates more vertical space.
Or, you know, just something.
Speaker 1 You know what I'm talking about?
Speaker 1 I saw you do this once when we were going to dinner and someone had a hula hoop, and you had your pile of money you carry, and you go, Do you think it could fit in there?
Speaker 1 And everyone's like, No, and then you like squished it, you go, look, and then a lot fell out. I know, I know.
Speaker 1
Well, that's when you got me that Dr. Seuss cap for Christmas.
And Paula said, What are you going to do with it? I go stuff cash in it and go to a restaurant with David. But it's crucial.
Speaker 1
It's a big Dr. Seuss thing, and I put lots of 20s in there.
It's just money. Yeah.
Speaker 1 And then, all right, well, let's get Jim out here because we're
Speaker 1 we can always
Speaker 1 we have editing capability. Um, Jim Cameron,
Speaker 1
you're our buddy, but you get to work with him lately. I've worked with him for the last five shows on Saturday Night Live.
He came in, had never been an 8H, never done sketch comedies.
Speaker 1 We'll talk all about that, and how we found his governor Waltz. And,
Speaker 1 you know, his character
Speaker 1 lost the election, but he didn't lose the election because that guy is a winner as a sketch player and a comedian and a hell of a nice human being. New Hulu comedy coming out on November 22nd.
Speaker 1
We'll talk about that. Here he is, Jim Gaff again.
Let's talk. I have a different shirt on.
Speaker 1 Give it up for Chicago.
Speaker 4 Sebastian Menescalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.
Speaker 2 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd. Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht and the boxes keep coming.
Speaker 4 Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right, premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.
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Speaker 2 Hey, you're bad-mouthing me.
Speaker 2 Oh, no, no, no.
Speaker 1 He's saying you're better friends than me and him are already.
Speaker 2 What's going on? You know, Dana has been like my support animal. Yeah.
Speaker 1 I've got a few laps under my belt.
Speaker 1 But I do say this, and I've said it before, and it became a catchphrase as Hans and Franz.
Speaker 2 Whoops, it looks like the student has become the teacher.
Speaker 1 I used to say that to the junior varsity sometimes.
Speaker 1 Chris Rock or you or
Speaker 1 Sandler, the student has become the teacher. Jim is a quick learner, but the first week
Speaker 1
he texted me because let's just set the scene. This is Jim Gafgan.
He has 11 specials. He's world famous.
He's incredibly successful.
Speaker 1
Great stand-up, great writer. So anyway, now that's out of the way.
Now,
Speaker 1 he came in green going, Hell, I don't know nothing about no sketch.
Speaker 2 What are you doing here? I ain't never done nothing like that.
Speaker 2 what's this microphone yeah why do they call it a script
Speaker 2 is it live no now you do you
Speaker 2 oh yeah
Speaker 2 i didn't know what to do
Speaker 2 i met that lauren michaels i thought it was going to be a woman you know hey lauren
Speaker 2 i thought all i know is lauren green
Speaker 1 he came up to me and you said i remember i quote, was like, Well, Mr.
Speaker 2 Dana Garney, what should we do next?
Speaker 2 This here's a big building,
Speaker 2 sure is crazy.
Speaker 2 It was so bizarre.
Speaker 1 Yeah, you've never hosted, just so the people know, you haven't hosted, so it's all new.
Speaker 2
It's all new. I'm not good enough.
I'm not good enough. It's whoops.
Speaker 1 I keep your phone nearby. This is a long audition this four weeks.
Speaker 2 It's a microcosm of the entertainment industry, right? It's just
Speaker 2 every emotion that a performer might feel,
Speaker 2
they have felt it around SNL. Like everyone desperately wants to do it.
Everyone goes through emotions where they feel like
Speaker 2 they...
Speaker 2
should be there or and then they feel like they're being ignored and then they feel like they're embraced and it's just a blanket. Every generation alive today knows about SNL.
It's amazing.
Speaker 2 Turn off that.
Speaker 1 What's that? Yeah. I was just, thanks to me just saying you're just
Speaker 1 at the end of a question we tell you that's your limit. You know, it's funny is,
Speaker 1 Greg,
Speaker 1 Lil Wayne said.
Speaker 1 He said, the Super Bowl halftime show was ripped away from me.
Speaker 1 And I think that made me think of what Jim said is there's everyone in hollywood at some point thinks snl was ripped away they're like if they don't get asked they feel like this is the year i've done enough they should ask me right kind of like that yeah it's it's such a
Speaker 2 unique uh it you know because in our lifetime among in comedy it's the last pillar of this significance. It's like even the status of, obviously, HBO is great and I would love to do an HBO special.
Speaker 2 But like, it's like compared to like when I was in my 20s, an HBO special was enormous. I mean, huge, you know, hosting the MTV
Speaker 2 video awards was like an incredible
Speaker 2
event at one point. And SNL has remained.
And let me read these other things that Lauren told me to say.
Speaker 1 Do you want to start linearly?
Speaker 2 Do you want to like, you got the call to do waltz, governor waltz? Sure, yeah, whatever you think.
Speaker 1 I don't know. I mean, everybody catches me coughing.
Speaker 2
Yeah. Well, what I would say is, of course, when he was picked by Kamala, I say Kamala because I'm friends with her now.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 I call her Cam Cam.
Speaker 2 Cam Cam.
Speaker 2 And
Speaker 2 once he was picked as the running mate, every
Speaker 2 dopey, out of shape white guy after Steve Martin turned it down was kind of like, what about this guy? What about this guy? And of course, I, you know, I would love to do it, but I also know that
Speaker 2 because of the prestige of SNL,
Speaker 2 it's not something that you can necessarily campaign for. Does that make sense? Yeah.
Speaker 2 So it's... It's definitely.
Speaker 1 You look thirsty. You just hope they find you, right?
Speaker 2 Yes. And so my manager
Speaker 2 was talking to some someone.
Speaker 2 And at one point, I was shooting a movie, you know,
Speaker 2 one day a year on a movie.
Speaker 2 In
Speaker 2 the UK, actually. And so then he called me.
Speaker 2 And he said, hey, you know, I've been talking to this person about you for Tim Walls. And I've been saying that you're sending me videos of you
Speaker 2
Tim Walls. And I go, really? And he goes, yeah.
So now they're kind of saying, can I see those videos?
Speaker 2 And I was like, oh, so you want me to.
Speaker 2 And it was like 10 o'clock the night before I was doing one day on a movie. And
Speaker 2 then I
Speaker 2 kind of just went around my hotel room and put on a jacket and took off a jacket and put on a sweater and these little
Speaker 2 things of Tim Walls, which is essentially, I'm portraying my brother Mitch, who lives in Indiana, who has a very Chicago accent. It's just like a s guy.
Speaker 2 And,
Speaker 2 but I thought that was funny. And
Speaker 2 normally for me, whenever I get that close, I definitely don't get it. Like whenever I test for
Speaker 2 a sitcom, it's just
Speaker 2 Marvel movie. Because life's hard for me.
Speaker 2 Yeah. I was over 200 at one point.
Speaker 2 What's that?
Speaker 1
I was over 200 at one point reading for things. But go ahead, Davis.
I said you also have a lot of shows booked. And also sometimes managers,
Speaker 1 they told me we have the same management team.
Speaker 1 And they told me, hey,
Speaker 1
we're talking to these guys about this movie. We're talking to these guys about this movie.
And it's between you and another guy.
Speaker 2 I'm like, what movie?
Speaker 1 So it that's happens where it's like they're pushing, and then you're not even aware if you want anything or not. I have, I had not read the movie, I don't know what the movie's about.
Speaker 2 They're going, It's it's looking pretty good, though. It's looking pretty good.
Speaker 1 I go, What is, but that's like you. They're like, By the way, you got Walt's.
Speaker 2 Second question: Do you want to do it? Of course, I think you should do it.
Speaker 1
I knew everyone wanted you. That's the funny thing.
It's like, what if you said, I have no interest in that? And then they go, Oh,
Speaker 2 now we're going to do it. And by the way,
Speaker 2
go ahead. By the way.
And guess what? That's online.
Speaker 2
By the way. Again, it's SNL.
So
Speaker 2 it's, I mean, I guess it's, you guys have a different perspective on it, but it's this elusive thing that
Speaker 2 has been always out of my grasp. And, you know, you know, as an American comedian, that's.
Speaker 2 the, you know, the measuring stick used to be like, oh, you're a comedian. Have you been on the tonight show or have you been on Letterman?
Speaker 2 and uh you know have you ever uh been on snl you know and i did a um a short a jack handy thing a million years ago but a lot oh wow
Speaker 1 interesting casting yeah yeah
Speaker 1 you know snl this is probably of all years the year to do it and the 50th is a big year and an election year which is always big for a starting live so the combo platter
Speaker 1 is a big bigger deal, you know. Massive, how fun you got to be a part of this one, massive global pickup with this show.
Speaker 2 Yeah, it's crazy how
Speaker 2 uh
Speaker 2 viral
Speaker 2 everything,
Speaker 2 the particularly the political thing, uh, on Espinel.
Speaker 2 It's like there's the people that watch it,
Speaker 2 but now we're in this clip age where then the clip goes, you know, the Daily Beast posts about it, the Drudge Report posts about it. It's,
Speaker 2 it's almost, you know, it becomes unavoidable.
Speaker 1
I think Deadline, I follow Deadline. I think Deadline on Twitter puts every single sketch on.
I never knew that. I mean, usually on a Monday, you'd see what's their funniest thing they did.
Speaker 1
And they would show a clip and it gets out there on Yahoo News or whatever. And now suddenly it's everything on my feet.
I can see for sure every sketch, even update.
Speaker 1 It's like, boom, as they're coming out, boom, boom.
Speaker 2 Yeah, it's amazing.
Speaker 1 I don't know if this is true, but I think Aria on a grande,
Speaker 1 it was like the show, and then 350 million across all platforms, you know, TikTok, everything.
Speaker 1
So that it matriculates. I still, people just watch the first episode, you know.
texting me. Hey, I saw that, you know.
Speaker 1 So anyway, so I meet, we meet.
Speaker 1
You're coming in 8H for the first time. The read-throughs are now in 8H.
They used to be in a little room upstairs, basically. And it's set up with 40 people.
There's tablecloths.
Speaker 1
There's cards like an Oscar party. There's piano.
There's music. And it's kind of, I was a little nervous.
I was coming in doing Biden for the first time. That was the read-through we were at.
Speaker 1 And you were reading. And so, how did that feel? Because that's the first time you kind of
Speaker 1 hang it all out.
Speaker 2 You know,
Speaker 2 here comes Jim's take.
Speaker 2 It's very unnerving. and there is
Speaker 2 a sense that this can change
Speaker 2 in a moment's notice where
Speaker 2 Lauren could be like, I didn't really like that.
Speaker 2
And that's not to say that he's attaching an opinion to it. It's just the reality.
So there was something of like, you know, I canceled all these stand-up dates. I hope they don't change their mind.
Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, that's right.
Speaker 2 But yeah, it was.
Speaker 1 Well, they can tweak, right? You know, you, you take your take on it. It's like a movie, and then you get with the directors or people around or the writers, and they say, could you?
Speaker 1 I mean, I'm just guessing. I don't know what happened, but sometimes they will play with it a little bit until everyone agrees this is this is the right feel.
Speaker 2 Yeah,
Speaker 2 I was surprised at
Speaker 2 the amount
Speaker 2 probably because there's just so much happening
Speaker 2 so so quickly there, particularly in the cold open, feels separate from the show in some ways. That
Speaker 2 I feel like Dana and I were like, well, because you know, these head writers, I, you know, are juggling so many things. And the last thing you want to do is be a pest.
Speaker 2 And so it also doesn't serve. your needs to be kind of like, what about this every two seconds?
Speaker 2 So there's, but Dana and I are like, are we crazy about, you know, like if you do catch someone's ear, you want to be very precise with an idea you have.
Speaker 2 You don't want to just be jawing their ear off because, you know, also they've been, they haven't slept for three days. So it's.
Speaker 1
Yeah. You pick your fights.
You go, can I just change this line? You have to have like a plan. Like, can I just, this is my most important thing.
Speaker 1
Instead of going, it feels a little wonky. They're like, it'll be great out there.
And then you're like, oh, shit. I didn't really specify
Speaker 1 what I needed.
Speaker 1 I think they've been pretty good all in all, but I know know what you mean they there's a lot of different inputs into that cold opening and the political environment it's moving in real time but i think for someone like jim a stand-up you know he just knows that there's a rhythm and a musicality to the way you land a laugh and as waltz so I kind of encourage you just to say, take it or leave it, leave it.
Speaker 1 We always, we don't try to push, like, put this in, but sort of suggest it.
Speaker 2 And a lot of times they're like, glad, like, oh, great.
Speaker 1
Now, one less joke, we we don't, we don't have to fix it. Yeah.
So it is kind of nice.
Speaker 1 But so I watched you throughout the week get more and more confidence because then we go down, we're on our feet and we're kind of walking through it.
Speaker 1 And, you know, you're kind of feeling a little better or how are you?
Speaker 2 Like
Speaker 2 it's, you know, it's also,
Speaker 2 yeah, it's, it's strange, but it's, there's also nothing more fun
Speaker 2 than trying a new joke, right? So
Speaker 2 there's nothing more rewarding, but it is,
Speaker 2 it is very strange. And it's also,
Speaker 2 but you're also, you know, you're inserted into this all-star lineup, right? With Dana and
Speaker 2 Maya and Andy. And so there is.
Speaker 2 Yeah, no, it's, it's, it's fascinating. It's just,
Speaker 2 it's just so weird how
Speaker 2 there's, it reminds me because there's been different times when I've been hired for different acting jobs and you have a couple lines.
Speaker 2 For me, I'm such an obsessive person that whether I have two lines or whether I have like 10 pages, all that will take up all my time.
Speaker 2
I don't know about you. It's like, sure.
I just want to get it right.
Speaker 1 I think Andy Sam. I have never seen you in all these five weeks not holding the script.
Speaker 2
Yeah. And whereas, like, I think Andy Sambert, I don't think he even looked at a script.
He was so
Speaker 1
he's good at it. Yeah.
He knows what he's doing.
Speaker 2 Just the cards, right? Which, and I think after the first week, I was like, I do have to read the cards.
Speaker 2 But, you know, also as a funny person, you, you know, it's much more important to get the sentiment of the joke or the point of view of the joke than the exact wording.
Speaker 2 But yeah, it's so different because it's also,
Speaker 2
as we all all know, as stand-ups, you go up there by yourself. You're the writer, director, and editor.
So if you're like not feeling it, you could just be like, I don't want to do that right now.
Speaker 2 And you can move on.
Speaker 2 But when you're
Speaker 2 particularly in such a
Speaker 1 you have like 80 eyes on you on this one, like, yeah, you know, what's he doing?
Speaker 2 And then you want to be, you know, obviously you want to be respectful to the other performers and to the writers. And,
Speaker 2 and, you know, I think when, you know, it's like different if you have your own TV show, you can sit there and go, No, I'm going to say this. Whereas you, you want to be respectful of everyone here.
Speaker 1 It was interesting on the cold opening, the first show where we were ostensibly top secret, not revealed. We would go in secret ways to the building, who's going to play who on this thing.
Speaker 1 And then it was very gratifying to watch, you know, when you came out just with that kind of energy and doing the prayer hands and this.
Speaker 1 And then they, they would, for Andy, too, they would kind of like, uh, uh, that's Jim Gaffigan.
Speaker 1 And then it would just really, and I was sitting back on the couch going, well, that's kind of satisfying. They're like, we're so happy it's you doing Waltz.
Speaker 2 It's a great
Speaker 2
boost. Yeah.
So fuck.
Speaker 2 So,
Speaker 2 yeah,
Speaker 2 such a
Speaker 2 really kind of rewarding
Speaker 2 experience. It's bizarre.
Speaker 1 And the one with you and Bowen side by side,
Speaker 1
that came together on air. That had some great moments.
That was a killer section in there.
Speaker 2 Yeah, and I love
Speaker 2 the last minute.
Speaker 2 I actually love the last minute aspect of it because it reminds me of when you're about to go on stage doing stand-up and you have an idea or you're on the subway and you have an idea that adjusts a joke that you've been working on for like an extended period.
Speaker 2 And it's that adjustment that really helps.
Speaker 2 because i was just always watching tim walls videos and i would see him do a behavior and then i'd be like all right i'll bring that in because again there's so many moving parts it wasn't like um people were like tim walls does this can you add it it was it was left up to me you know which i know is surprising you know what everyone's so good that uh as an outsider watching you know i would say give it to gaffigan give it to my or give it to Dana.
Speaker 1 And then they're going to get it 98% there because they're such perfectionists in their own comedy that
Speaker 1 it's kind of nice that you can hand it over and you know it's going to be pretty much what it's going to be. And they have so much on their mind.
Speaker 1 I think it's great that you're working on it because you want to just, every time they see you, it's a tiny bit better.
Speaker 1 And they're like, oh, he's been paying attention because we have other 22 sketches and all the other millions of things going on. And then if Kamala comes,
Speaker 1 they have to say, oh, now it's more security, more hassle, more confusion. I guess, wasn't it? I mean, I'm guessing.
Speaker 2 Oh, my gosh.
Speaker 1 Yeah,
Speaker 1 speak to that.
Speaker 2 Just that whole evening. It's, you know, there's times when,
Speaker 2 I don't know, I don't have a machine gun. I don't have an AR,
Speaker 2 but to walk down the hallway and there's like six guys with machine guns, you're like, I don't know if we need six.
Speaker 1 You know, I thought it was more like 12 or something. It feels good.
Speaker 2 I'm a pragmatist. I'm like, I'm not a gun guy, but I think a handgun would be more practical here.
Speaker 2 You don't want to catch, catch some.
Speaker 1
They seem to be six foot five. They had helmets.
They had flak jackets, big boots, and then
Speaker 1
night vision goggles. And then this assault rifle or machine gun or whatever it was.
And, you know, I'm dressed as a tomato.
Speaker 2 I'm like, hi, fellas. You know, like
Speaker 2 I never felt like
Speaker 1 they have those goggles because they saw in the itinerary at Saturday Night Live. They're like, bring the night vision.
Speaker 2
It's also, you know, and I don't know, because they were all very nice, very professional, very professional. Absolutely.
But you could also get a sense a little bit.
Speaker 2 They're like, oh my gosh, we're at SNL.
Speaker 1 Do you talk to them like London guards? Are you allowed to talk to them?
Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean, they were, they were, but like when she came down the hallway, I had the, I had to leave. And then, Dana, you got to hang out with her, right?
Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, well, first of all, when I was walking down the middle, those guys dressed as Biden, I just instinctively did a little salute,
Speaker 2 like I was the commander-in-chief.
Speaker 1 So, it was all very just when is she coming? How is she coming? Everyone was waiting longer.
Speaker 1 And we needed to fit in a time for her to rehearse with Maya.
Speaker 1
So we're waiting to do the notes. We're in 8H.
There's a tension and a sensitivity going on, a quietness. It was like an exotic tiger was coming.
Speaker 1 When is Kamala coming?
Speaker 1 And she comes in and she turns and she gets a huge smile on her face, looks all around 8H and go, Oh, if my mother could see me now.
Speaker 1 And then kind of under her breath, she goes, Of course she's seeing me now. I thought it was very sweet.
Speaker 2 Oh, wow. Yeah.
Speaker 1
And so if we want to jump ahead afterwards, I was going down the hall. She'd done the cold opening.
And it was a very, whatever your political thing is,
Speaker 1 it was a very human moment. The way the audience, the emotion of the audience for her in that studio for about two minutes
Speaker 2 couldn't help but, you know, kind of well you up.
Speaker 1
I mean, it just was sort of emotional. And then she's down in the Maya's dressing room.
Her people go, oh, take a picture. Cause I was still dressed as Biden.
Speaker 1 And then I came in and she kind of went hey and so i had about a minute face to face with her and i just did all my biden hooks no i'm not kidding i'm being serious she laughed so hard she was bent over laughing so that was kind of a
Speaker 1 interesting so you know i guess she she sees all of this from a different point of view you know but it was kind of seemed cathartic or something i don't know people seemed to like it No, it would, I thought it was really interesting because when they did the very brief rehearsal, and it was a long dress so it was
Speaker 2 it it was not like there was an abundance of time for any of this oh was it between dress and air her rehearsal yeah yeah oh that was like close to 11 o'clock or something oh that's hence
Speaker 2 yeah and then they did the meeting after that and so
Speaker 2 god dang what when they did the the and they didn't even rehearse the whole scene they just rehearsed her and maya and uh by the way dana if i'm saying anything i'm not supposed to say.
Speaker 2 You guys have to cut this out.
Speaker 1 Well, we have editing capability, by the way. So you can say anything.
Speaker 2 What I thought was really interesting, and this is just me being paranoid, is that
Speaker 2 Maya has such a presence
Speaker 2 and,
Speaker 2 you know,
Speaker 2 blood of ice. And I mean that as a compliment, is that I was like, oh my gosh, what if, you know, Maya's been doing this in this room
Speaker 2 for years, right?
Speaker 2 And then this person who's been on the campaign trail, who, you know, having come in five weeks earlier and was intimidated by the setting, by the live setting, even though I'm a stand-up comedian and a great actor.
Speaker 2 But
Speaker 2 when
Speaker 2 I was like, is Kamala
Speaker 2 going to when they do that mirror thing is the status of Maya going to kind of be a disservice to Kamala I don't think it was but it entered my mind like you mean a super pro
Speaker 2 yes whereas
Speaker 2 just you know Maya just is so
Speaker 2 you know such a home run hitter and just like never strikes out that is the the juxtaposition is that going to end up being a disservice to Kamala and it didn't end up being that way it actually I think that it really kind of
Speaker 2 I think that Kamala appeared very warm and very like I think it was a really important humanizing moment here let me tell you what Lauren also wanted me to say no
Speaker 2 but uh no but it was it was one of those things where I was like oh wow she really she really hit it out of the park I think Kamala you know it was
Speaker 1
held up her side because she's not an actress and she's coming in like on the fly. There's really almost no rehearsal.
And so it is fucking scary as shit.
Speaker 1 Even if you, like you said, we've all done it.
Speaker 2 If I was sitting there, I'd be freaking out.
Speaker 1
And your hand could shake. You don't know.
You're just like, yeah, it's almost too much. And especially if you've never, I mean, she's giving speeches, but it's a different animal.
I think.
Speaker 2
Let's be honest, you guys. What's more difficult being on SNL or being president? You know what I mean? It's SNL.
It's just different. Absolutely.
Speaker 2 We don't just want the audience to know how hard it is.
Speaker 1 But, you know, I think that
Speaker 1 you're talking yourself in the mirror was the conceit, and it's been done a lot, but it was very
Speaker 1
maternal in a sense. And in the end, Pamala, Kamala, give me your hand.
And it was written not in a hectic way. It was kind of slow and casual and relaxed.
And the way Maya was so
Speaker 1
supernaturally comfortable. They gave her good jokes.
I mean, it was not too long, in my opinion, because I didn't know anything about it. You know, I didn't ask Dana for any spoilers.
Speaker 1
And I thought the Pamela was the first big lie. I was like, oh, that's great.
And then they did a few plays on words. Yeah.
And then they sort of ended it. And it was like, oh, good.
Speaker 1
It's not dragging out forever. It's not, you know, classically like, oh, they went too long.
It's like, oh, great. Tight.
Get to say live New York. Big ending.
Get out.
Speaker 2 Yeah.
Speaker 1 And surprisingly, it was a, it was just a very friendly audience. It was, it was,
Speaker 2 who would think.
Speaker 1 But it was, it was, you know, I've said this
Speaker 1 when I went to do the George Bush Senior White House, I was sitting with Neil Young at the party
Speaker 1 telling him that. And
Speaker 1 he just said to me, he didn't even, it was in an apolitical things. He goes, oh, that's a human thing, man.
Speaker 1 That's a human thing.
Speaker 1 So it was like whatever your political stripe is, it was this woman who's been now running for president in this room, being kind of awestruck in some ways, and then having that sort of reaction.
Speaker 1 It's just like you're, it was, it was hallowed grounds for a moment. It was like only SNL can capture these kinds of moments because everybody knows it's live.
Speaker 2 Yeah. I mean, it's particularly in this year where I think the most important media piece
Speaker 2 was not these traditional media things, but I think her appearance on SNL was significant.
Speaker 1 You know what I mean?
Speaker 2 Like compared to like the, some of the media hits that historically would, like, I don't think they would even contemplate having her appear on, you know, a sitcom.
Speaker 1 Yeah, and anyone who sits there and the part where she asked Maya, do I really laugh like that? And she says, a bit.
Speaker 1 You know, anytime a human being can laugh at themselves a little bit, the likability quotient or the relatability quotient goes up. So yes, it was
Speaker 1 a home run, as they say.
Speaker 2 But
Speaker 1 will people vote differently because of us? I mean, you and me in particular? Or did we reorientate Western society?
Speaker 2 Absolutely not.
Speaker 2 Absolutely not.
Speaker 1 It says here in my calendar, reorientate Western society.
Speaker 1 But
Speaker 1 everything, it's kind of nice when the reviews, I casually, I don't possess on them, but now you can not, I think it was New York Times or something.
Speaker 1 You can't imagine anyone else playing waltz after seeing Jim Gaffigan was one of the ones I read, you know.
Speaker 2 Yeah, that's very nice.
Speaker 1 Well, thank you, Jim, for talking to us. And I'm not leaving.
Speaker 2
I'm here for another hour. We're going to do three hours, David.
Is that all right? Yeah, it's fine with me. Do you have a problem? I run out of stuff.
Speaker 2 You're like, then I couldn't get rid of Gaffigan.
Speaker 1 Gaffin now,
Speaker 1
He smokes cigarettes now, and he's so comfortable. And young Cass will come up to him and go, Mr.
Gaffrican, Mr. Gaffran, could you help me with this? He goes, get on my face, kid.
Speaker 2
I got better stuff to do. I call everyone kid.
By the way,
Speaker 2 I just want you guys to know you don't have to plug my Hulu special, which is the skinny, which is on November 22nd.
Speaker 2 You have a stand-up special on Hulu.
Speaker 2 Yeah.
Speaker 1 And it's called,
Speaker 1 and when is it coming?
Speaker 2
The skinny. Now, Jimmy you saved this special recently.
Jim, we're trying to get rid of you. So if you could just wrap it up.
Speaker 1 No,
Speaker 1
get this in. A Hulu special.
Is it November 22nd? Is that what you said?
Speaker 2 Yes.
Speaker 1 Am I reading this right?
Speaker 2 Am I reading this right?
Speaker 1 All these streaming sites, your words, not mine. How do you pick between Netflix and Amazon and what's it called?
Speaker 2 That's a Tui. Is that a real one?
Speaker 2
John K., you know, he went to Harvard, too. I know.
No,
Speaker 1
he's a TV character. He's like Columbo or something.
I mean, I want to do him on the show. I'll just say we've been doing him on this show.
Speaker 2 Brilliance to his kind of.
Speaker 1
Oh, the fumbling paper. I read something here.
Could I get this
Speaker 1 again? Am I saying that right?
Speaker 2 Am I saying that?
Speaker 1 You tweeted on October 7th that you would kill all
Speaker 2 the folk that studied at the John F. Kennedy School of Public Relations.
Speaker 1 No, he's clearly very bright, but it's hysterical.
Speaker 1 i see you squirming in your chair a little bit
Speaker 1 he's set the trap for the guests
Speaker 2 and it's so funny he has a little smile
Speaker 2 he talks like he's in the movie mississippi bird
Speaker 2 you're what we have here
Speaker 1 is a failure to communicate. Now, do you think, how much do you think it would cost to end climate change?
Speaker 2 But what about I I don't know a hundred trillion dollars
Speaker 2
who's the congresswoman from California who has charts? Let me ask you this: if you had 425, Katie, I can't remember her name, Katie. She's like, she has her whiteboard.
She's so funny.
Speaker 1
I love the, I love no matter what's going on. At least it's fun to watch.
I don't even know what's going on. I just love it.
Rand Paul with Fauci hysterical.
Speaker 2 You, in fact, killed millions of people.
Speaker 1 Are you prepared to apologize?
Speaker 2 By the way, it was, I know David wants to get rid of me, but it was, I thought Tim Kaine was great. I got to hang out with Tim Kane afterwards.
Speaker 1 I promise you, I thought it was Tim Waltz when he came out. That's how dumb I am.
Speaker 2 I go like this.
Speaker 2 I did a photo with Tim Kaine, and we looked the same.
Speaker 1 We looked the same. By the way, it's a bit of a deep dig because he's either to your casual viewer, you're like, there's some 24-year-old kid going, oh, that really is.
Speaker 2 What's his name? Kim Sane? Kim Kame.
Speaker 1 Kim Sane, vice presidential nominee.
Speaker 2 I ran out of the game.
Speaker 1
The game show one. Very funny.
Game show was a great sketch. Smart.
Monkey was very funny. Dan Bula, of course.
Very funny.
Speaker 1
Monkey in Space. Yeah, that's some great stuff in there.
John Malane, great stuff. Jim's like, I don't get to watch the whole show.
I'm really lasered in.
Speaker 2 I'm already drinking bourbon after that. Yeah.
Speaker 1 Oh, you got your bourbon.
Speaker 2 On the rocks, though. On the rocks.
Speaker 1 Do you remember the name of your bourbon?
Speaker 2 Father Time.
Speaker 1 Father Time, you're right. Do you remember at the party when I saw your cheeseburger and I said, I got to get something to eat?
Speaker 2 And didn't I offer you half of it? Well, it was like a petite.
Speaker 1 It was a slider. It was the size of a silver dollar.
Speaker 1
Cast members with sliders. That's the big story.
I did get the pasta. But guess what? In this first world problem, around 4 a.m., the waiter comes up.
Oh, sorry, the kitchen is closed.
Speaker 2 Oh, no. Yeah.
Speaker 1 Dana's venmoing Jim 25 cents for pickles.
Speaker 2 I think that was my last episode because I was only contracted for that time. But
Speaker 2
those parties are amazing, but I'm so wrecked the next day. It's not like I'm drinking so much.
It's just staying up till 5 a.m.
Speaker 1 5 a.m.
Speaker 2 is when I turn the light out.
Speaker 1 You know, because it's just a lot of your teammates and friends. You want to say hello to Marty Short or Jon Stewart.
Speaker 2 No, it's so fun. Yeah.
Speaker 1 But it does. I'm still tired from staying up that late.
Speaker 2 Yeah. A little bit.
Speaker 1 Oh, you get home when everyone's jogging and you guys are driving home in your limo.
Speaker 2 These are just the this is just the behavior of someone with a severe drinking problem getting home at 5 a.m.
Speaker 1 Jim, do you think you'll still go to the parties if you're not on the show just every week?
Speaker 2 I think it would be too weird. I mean,
Speaker 2 I feel out of place even when I'm on the show being there. So, I know I won't go.
Speaker 1 Have you secured an invite to the 50th?
Speaker 2 No, I said not. I think that will happen.
Speaker 2 So, have you guys been invited?
Speaker 1 Jim, it's complicated.
Speaker 1 I'm going to talk to Gervitz.
Speaker 2 You'll have to make a video.
Speaker 1 I told Lauren that you have made YouTube videos in the hotel room about how you would be at the 50th.
Speaker 2 So you're going to have to.
Speaker 2 I'd like to see one of those videos.
Speaker 1 Here I am at the 50th being nice to everybody. And here I am introducing Coldplay.
Speaker 2 No, that would be.
Speaker 1 I've got a sneaky feeling that we're not done with Mr.
Speaker 2 Let's do. We'll also get on site of sliders.
Speaker 2 You know, here's what I, one thing that I would add, even though David's trying to get rid of me. I was,
Speaker 2 there was,
Speaker 2 Dana, weren't you secretly hoping? Like, I was like, oh, hopefully, Tim, uh, Tim Waltz will do something like, um,
Speaker 2 oh, yeah, his pants fall down or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 News. I don't want him to humiliate himself.
Speaker 2 He'll, you know, be in some. but there's competing for attention.
Speaker 2 And even when he would, you know, like, I think in a different time, like him even playing Fortnite with AOC, that would be newsworthy, but we live in such chaotic. Oh, right.
Speaker 2 That would have been a good one.
Speaker 1 Who would play AOC? Who plays AOC on the show? Heidi?
Speaker 2
I think Dana would. Dana would.
Dana, you doing Dana? I got an AOC.
Speaker 1 Dana ripping off characters from chasms. That's mine now.
Speaker 2 Thank you.
Speaker 2
That's the other thing. I'm AOC.
I don't want to.
Speaker 2 Like, I want to
Speaker 2 do other things. You wouldn't want to take a job from someone.
Speaker 1
Yeah, it feels weird because no one there at least looks exactly like Tim Waltz. If you walk by a casmer, it looks just like him.
And you go, he goes, hey, how you doing, man?
Speaker 1
No, to me, Tim Waltz has been not around that much. And I just saw a speech or two or whatever.
So I couldn't,
Speaker 1 when I see you, I see,
Speaker 2 it's Tim Walt.
Speaker 1 I mean, no one knows the idiosyncratic speech things he has. I mean, you have the prayer hands and pounding the heart and then some some of those with.
Speaker 2 I'm going to do the ear thing because he does the ear thing, and Lauren was like, get rid of the ear thing.
Speaker 1 No, too much.
Speaker 1 To Carol Burnett, she would go like this.
Speaker 1 Lily Tomlin used to go one ringy dingy, two ringy dingy. Do you want a big chair like Lily Tomlin, too?
Speaker 1 What are we doing here?
Speaker 2 You can play two walls as a five-year-old.
Speaker 1 We'll put a hairpiece on you.
Speaker 1 No, you'll be back, and I will lobby. It doesn't matter.
Speaker 1 I think you should host. The audience clearly loves you and you're kind of
Speaker 1 iconic at some point. You need a white guy to host at some point.
Speaker 2 I mean,
Speaker 2 and you're mostly white.
Speaker 2 You know, I'm mixed.
Speaker 1
You're 120% white. I'm mixed.
I'm Irish and Scottish.
Speaker 2 Whoops. You.
Speaker 2 All right.
Speaker 1 You're going to say goodbye because I cannot say it. So I've just been sitting here.
Speaker 1 They told me our manager said, you get him off that fucking thing at 30 minutes or we'll go dark and I'm like we'll pull the plug. I'm like, oh my god
Speaker 1 This has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss Burman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman. Hope you liked it.