SUPERFLY #41 - Jim Gaffigan JOINS!

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And your hand could shake. You don't know.
You're just like, yeah, it's almost too much. And especially if you've never, I mean, she's giving speeches, but it's a different animal.
I mean, let's be honest, you guys. What's more difficult, being on SNL or being president? You know what I mean? It's SNL.
It's just different. Absolutely.

Okay, I want to start because you can tell me what I do and I'll tell you what you do. Okay.
I see you do this sometimes, like when you're thinking. God, I touch my face all the time.
Sometimes like this. The pinky.
Really? The pinky in the ear, I think. Unless I made it.
Oh, that's nuts. Unless I made it up.
No but you're you observe people i kind of observe voices and stuff on people which i didn't do before snl because you sort of had to you start to pay attention yeah but something you do is this a lean back yeah and that is that is a little bit just kind of stretching my back because I'm kind of in a high chair.

But yeah, it's probably- It's also psychotic. A stress release like, oh, let's not try too hard.
Why don't we listen to the guests? Why do we have to overlap? I do. I go like this after I interrupt everyone.
I go, I got to reload to get my energy to interrupt again. uh i to other podcasts sometimes, and boy, do they, you know, we are not the kings of talking over our guests.

I'll just put it that way.

Interrupt us.

Yeah.

Interrupt us momentariness.

Well, my head is, sorry.

Listen, so my hair is all super helmet because why?

You might be doing this today, too, Dana. As you know, Dana is in New York.
They're doing an SNL photo today. And it's in LA.
It's, I've heard, a little birdie. I think it's because there's too many.
Yes. They're doing sections.
So New York and LA. And then they're going to try to make a cover where they jam us all on that.
Yeah. It's not Vanity Fair, so I'm not going to give them my total blue steel looks, but it is a magazine.
Yeah. It's a penny saver.
Depending on where you are in the frame, your head would maybe be the size of a dime but probably smaller than a smaller than a dime a half a dime so i'm not gonna you know and you're supposed to dress like how you are right this is which you explain what we're talking about we're supposed to do a photo for the 50th anniversary with people that were involved in the show.

But there's so many people.

I don't know if it'll be a full cattle call like at Dodger Stadium or it's going to be.

Isn't it for New Yorker Magazine?

Sorry.

New Yorker Magazine?

Or New York Magazine.

I don't know. Oh, that's it.

New York Magazine.

Sorry.

And who is the one we famously had the fight with back in the old days? We wanted to beat the guy up. Was that New York Observer or was it New York Magazine? Probably.
Do you remember that? Yeah. Atlantic or I don't know what they were.
They came and stayed with us for a week and we buddied up with a guy, and then he wrote a horrible article about.

Oh, that's right.

Yeah, and just shit all over us.

And it was Adam and Farley, and everyone was like,

let's go down there, let's beat the fuck out of this.

It was a total disaster.

Lauren, no.

If so, I'm looking the other way.

I have a new impression you just made me think of.

Lauren Michaels has a bullfrog in a pond.

No. No.
No. By the way, and guess what? Can I ask you a question? Too many.
Go ahead. We actually, in our pond up on our farm, once had a male bullfrog sitting there in the middle of the night on the rocks and just cattle called, no, a frog called to all the female frogs.

It's just super loud for like two hours.

Just trying to get some puss in the middle of the night.

But look, but the New York Magazine thing.

Open for biz.

Open for biz. Everyone listening is like, you know, that's funny.
That doesn't happen on my pond. We trapped a raccoon the other day in a cage.
He's got a coon. And that, whoops.
And then of course you go to Harrison's hardware. You get big, intense gloves and you're kind of wrestling with a squirrely raccoon while you were cruising down going to koi to get some sushi and you don't gotta wrestle it yeah when it's already killed yeah you're cruising high in your land cruiser looking around pulling up to the valet walking in like some kind of stud superstar and ordering look at.
I go, give me that octopi. And half the time when you get to sushi, you go, I don't like the octopi.
You always see a little. And you go, you know, a good doctor could bring this back to life.
Yeah, that's that notion. That's the gross part.
It brings you to the table and still alive. And then somewhere it, yeah.
I don't like it. I then somewhere it it yeah i don't like it i like it medium well i don't like it rare i don't want a hamburger i don't know if i like this look today but go ahead well here's i'll i'll come around to this new york magazine asked me in the email would you like a groomer we have hair people and also would you like a personal groomer that we can fly in uh what yeah groomer now a groomer spoiled you have makeup you have hair this is sorry inside if you're going to talk show but a groomer is like an overarching person that tells you how to groom yourself up i I said, I don't, you know.
Heather, what about that? Is that a groomer? Or is it a, do you have a stylist, Dana? It's the overarching name of it. My whole goal is bed, head, next day, hair.
So I don't really need people quaffing my hair. You know when you go on a movie and by the time you get in front of the camera, it doesn't look anything like you.
You go, mine is bed, head, hair, I don't care. That's really my look most days.
Today they just went meop, shellac. I think it looks very tidy, very early Steve McQueen.
You you know you look a little biker i'm probably i'm older than steve mcqueen when did he uh 48 or 50 he went to the stars god dang really yeah i had a weird snl thing that the sketch got cut and i feel bad about it we had kamalaala. The show was loaded.
Kamala was the, I say it wrong. Kamala was in the 28 minute cold opening.
Yes. And it was.
So were you. What I wanted to say, because this election happened and a lot of people are upset, which is normal.
And it was pretty much decided by 2 a.m., I guess, because I went to bed and I was like asleep, 12 or something my time in New York. And then I woke up and I was like, I checked and it says Trump wins.
And here's my takeaway from the coverage last night. Did you watch any of it? Maybe you didn't.
I did watch some. Yeah.
They have these guys and I know they've done this for several cycles now, but it seems more sophisticated. The guy's up with the map and he's like a wizard moving things around.
And here you see in Calico County here, Joe Biden carried 28,000 And Kamala Harris, the metric, it was like just this massive intensity. Yeah, there's so much going on.
Yeah, more than ever. Like little circles.
Little circles. Little counties.
These counties, this is how they voted. This is how they will vote.
This is what we think they'll vote. Very complex.
We're going to talk, you know, when we have Gaffigan on in a little bit he was taped right before the election just so right are clear so we are talking yeah right after and election night he was taped before election night yeah that day so he so if we don't mention that he didn't see the magic man and see these big blue circles that means a lot of young college voters could be coming in late over here. But these little red dots, these are rural voters.
These are really, really stupid people and they live way out. Yeah, it's so true.
They kept it pretty neutral. I think they both of them seem very scientific.
CNN. These hay seeds out here.
Yeah, I'd flip back and forth because I sort of want to get a real gauge. Some talk one way.
It's funny because sometimes they don't count, you know, they don't count anything officially as far as a state for a while. I kind of like if they wait because there's too many that can flip.
It's too close. You know, they'll say like 10 things in a row that looks like the state's going to be won by Kamala or Trump.

But what I said means nothing. Anything could change.
Don't listen to me. Let's just give it away.
But these counties are not going. And then they put Biden versus Trump 2020.
And here you see the metrics here. He's up one and a half percent over this time last time.
I mean, it was amazing. I was exhausted.
It's really hard on you. I do look forward to the, it's hard on you.
The, um, political ads going away. Did you choke up? Political, I know I turned into RFK.
Political ads going away. It's like someone who's really sad for a second.
So I'm just really upset about the political ads going away. I started crying.
No on something but yeah the political ads uh and the local ones uh oh yeah prop 47 bill squankmeyer killed someone oh you act like you didn't know that you know we vote for him if you want to die Prop Proposition 119 to help the children. Don't you want to help the children? Mary Wang doesn't want you to know she beats her babies.
She has 11 babies and beats the shit out of them. You didn't hear it from us.
Mary Wang really doesn't know

a lot about this ad.

Bill Campbell likes to climb

mountains and throw rocks

on nursery school kids.

Do you want to stop Bill

Campbell? Prop 111.

Because stop throwing dirt

on our show.

Kid going like this.

He built a roller coaster that exploded at the state fair. A kid going like this.
No!

He built a roller coaster that exploded at the state fair.

Then he laughed.

Let me show him.

Is that who you want?

Or you want that guy?

Oh, okay.

He strangled a crosswalk guard and then walked away.

Isn't it time we put them behind bars? Proposition 1348,

because it's time. Do you remember when Jim Jenkins put a nun in a sleeper hold?

We do. Here's a clip.
Vote for him if you want. I don't know about you.
I don't want to go into a guillotine hold. Do you remember when Kathy Wood flying, slapped her pet duck in the face? On purpose? This ad is against duck slapping.
Paid for the committee to duck slapping. This ad was paid for by the duck.
Tired of seeing rabbits bullied. this ad is pay for the don rabbits now they can just do it super fast okay go ahead I have to show you a picture just because we're on this subject which we're not this is a mystery picture I just got because you know Lojo, Lori Jo who's been working with Norm forever she's going through his stuff she just sent me a picture it's kind of a tearjerker just funny because i have no idea what this is from here's a funny here's a funny picture i go laurie joe i don't remember this but norm really fell apart at the end is that norm no i said this is said, this is a rubbing face.
This is, I don't know what. I'm by Trellis.
Is that what it's called, Heather? All I'm saying, when I look at this, because of the stories I've heard, when a chimp goes full chimp, you are in danger in that picture, sir. If that chimp decides to turn and eat your face in one second, there's not a thing you could do or was ever off camera.
So you got to be careful. He says, I have the strength of a much bigger chimp than I am.
By the way, he has pants on, so he's sort of domesticated. But I'm holding this and she said, there's another picture of Norm holding another chimp.
I'm like, where are we? Maybe this is when we went to the zoo and taught animals how to do standup. I don't know.
I've been around chimps, but I don't remember holding one like that for a photo. I'm holding it wrong, but I don't even know how I'm, where's my arm? I don't know what's going on.
Do you have friends who, look at how terrified I am, who dress up indigenous chimpanzees into clown clothes and then hold them for photos. Pay for the people who want to keep chips dignity.
I don't know about you, but if I'm a chimp, I don't want to look like a jackass. Paid for by chimps that don't want to look like jackasses.
Yeah. Okay.
That was a good one. It wasn't bad.
You made a chimp look like a jackass. I don't know what the third is there.
There's got to be a third, you know, jackass.

Also, there's a big hubbub if we're going into stories about, it's sort of political.

There's a lot of stories.

The squirrel.

This is a tough story for Heather here.

This is a tough story for anyone to hear.

The squirrel was euthanized because, oh yeah, New York's decision to seize is rough too. That reminds me, I got to get a power crunch.
So the New York decided to get one specific squirrel? Why? Do you know this story? I've only heard about Peanut the squirrel, but I didn't know they're euthanizing him in New York when there's 10 million squirrel million squirrels why this squirrel by the way you kill an animal that's the front page people will flip out so understandably there was a squirrel they called in that it bit someone heather or might have bitten someone oh turn rabbit or something so they say oh in fear of rabies but and then they got there question they asked, do you have any cameras in the house? Why? I'm getting to the juicy part. They also found a raccoon, took that, euthanized that.
They said in case people have rabies and it's like crazy. So now, I think I got that right.
But now the guy says, they asked if we have cameras because the neighbor was mad they do OnlyFans. So they were looking for a reason to bother them, and they didn't like that.
I don't know. I'm sort of making this up.
But they think that was the reason they wanted. They didn't like them because they're doing OnlyFans, couple or something uh like i have not one fact not nothing nothing it's a fast but i will say they i know it really petered off at the end but uh and then i thought is the guy getting attention for the only fans even though the squirrel is a national story.
Intention. You need attention to trend on OnlyFans or everything.
We just don't do crazy stuff. We would never hurt an animal to get ratings on our podcast, Newsflash.
Secondarily, who decided to call killing an animal euthanizing an animal? Bill euthanized? Bill euthanized invented the word euthanized.

So people are murdered.

I don't know about you, but that sounds pretty good.

He wasn't killed.

He was euthanized.

Hey, for people to want to stop Bill euthanized.

Did the squirrel really bite anyone?

People want to just go back to the word killed.

Okay, let's go to the stories then, because should we or what do you want to talk about?

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I'll tell you about my Halloween costume idea. Okay.
It's not Jason Kelsey. It is, picture this idea.
It's for the 40 plus crowd. So I have scraggly brown hair about down to here.
And I have like a striped shirt on and a Coke spoon around my neck. And I go as peppermint chatty.
Hey man, what's going on? How's your Halloween going? I'm going to start working out. You know who peppermint patty is, right? Yeah.
Peppermint patty. And okay.
I see it now. Can we, we have a picture of this? No, I'm just saying I want to go next year as peppermint chatty.
Oh, I see. Oh, there it is.
What? He looks young. Yeah.

No, this is Trump during his speech to claim victory in the presidential thing.

I mean, he just was really rested.

He finally took a really long nap.

I took a long nap, but I couldn't believe it.

And here I am.

But I guess that's actually Trump.

Someone sent this to me.

I guess it's Trump as a little kid. What? Or is it a kid who looks like Trump or is it Photoshopped? Or is it AI or is it none of the above? Let's go to the phone.
You know, mom, what I could use right now. Well, the hair is too perfectly Trump's.
I know. It's too, it definitely has to be.
You're right. It's a comb over and the kid is one.
You know, I'm doing terrific and I could use some milk and you know how I like it. I like it the regular way.
So let's get busy, mom. You know how I do these things.
And you look at it and you see, you know how I do these things. Also, what did he, oh, he said in his speech, he goes, and I'm not going to rest.
I'm like, I think you need to rest a little because he's he's older and he's been campaigning

for straight for a month he's got i saw a little mini doc of when he he said i'm gonna run for president 2022 and he was almost you could hear the crew stifling laughs like oh come on man you're so over i don't put us through this it is the most you got i mean you just can't he's like radioactive you couldn't kill him if you tried it's like it's right unbelievable what do what

these through this it is the most you got i mean you just can't he's like radioactive you couldn't

kill him if you tried it's like unbelievable whoop-dee-whoop-dees all right you have a picture of let's go back to jason kelsey yeah we can trend on this one well these guys are of course our buddies jason was on the show so it's a very serious picture of him is that his new head shot i don't mind it. So he's wearing that Madonna microphone.
So he goes to a game. Of course, I know nothing.
He goes to a football college game. He's leaving.
You know, when you leave, people come up and talk to you. But also to get clout, some people start trouble, of course, because getting in a situation with a celebrity is way better because you're going to wind up minimum on TMZ.
So for good or bad, just want to get attention. So he used a slur referring to his brother.
And I would say this from observing and having Jason on the Kelsey brothers. Like if it was, if it was right on Jason, I don't think he would have gotten tweaked by it.
But when you attack my brother, I don't, the Kelsies go full Kelsey at that point. And in this case, the guy is, compared to a regular human being, he's exceptionally strong.
Like you would not want him to are you doing so it's an act of kindness to take his phone and smash it as opposed to the young man's head so sure and you know i think i saw the story and then jason fought back and it sort of went badly for both for everybody involved fine but i get mad like that too and i think there's not enough attention on the guy that did it like how uncool that was they're just more me saying jason are you sure you apologize should we accept this but go look at the instigator of everything who's i don't know he got his phone broken who cares he said something foul and out of the blue to fuck with him to get a reaction But you saw him walking until he said, my brother. So it's kind of a thing.
He ain't heavy. He's my brother.
So don't mess with my brother is what I'm getting from them. And also, if you're going to yell something at a Kelsey and you yell at the other brother, you go to Travis and you say something about his brother, you're going to get something.
Similar situation. You situation you're gonna get something but the cell phone was an act of kindness rather than a right cross to the face because you know when you're 270 pounds you can you really hurt people you know I have that and the thing is people are on the street sometimes and they'll yell David Spade and whatever pejorative and you know I go I go.
I'm scrappy. You go nuts.
I go low, then I go high. I'll take three to get in.
They say Dana and I say yes. And they go, oh, are you Dana? And then it gets confusing.
And then I take their phone. I try to lift it and then I throw it.
One guy said to me, whatever happened to David Spade? And I slapped his face really hard. I went, nothing, bitch, bitch.
And that was our manager, Mark Gervitz. I was kidding.
I just want to add one simple question. Why doesn't Spade like money? Why won't he get in the rocket ship and fly for 12 hours in a snowstorm? Dana likes money.
But Bentley, you don't. Rob Lowe likes money.
We have to make, I think Mark would like this. We have to make, we each have them, little puppets of like a little frog or something.
I can go like this. It kind of looks like our manager.
Yeah. Apparently, you don't like money because it is like a puppet show at this point.
You go, Mark, I'm flying around the globe three times. I got a globe in my office.
It doesn't look that big. Yeah.
Trust me. I like trust me.
Trust me. You're going to like it when you get the check.
I go, I thought it was going to be more money. The landscape has changed.
That's a good one. It's not good out there right now.
Everybody's getting hurt. I go, really? Smartless is getting hurt? Not them.
Everybody's taking a haircut. Trust me, they're not making what you think.
I go, I think they're doing fine. Everybody's getting a haircut.
That's a good one, too. Everybody's getting a haircut.
Everybody's taking less. Everybody's taking less.
All right, next story, even though Mark's the funniest one. Who's the funniest? Oh, yeah.
How long have we done? Okay. Another Kelsey story.
Okay. Oh, this is another Kelsey story.
This is, they made, I think Heather knew. Did you know this? They made a Hallmark movie, but based on Taylor and Travis.
Oh, okay. Some third party, not them.
Okay. Let's look at the pick.
I don't think they're part of it. Yeah.
I see. Oh, no.
They make them look like an idiot right away. Why would a great looking football player have a chance? Oh boy.
Of course, there's an imaginary little sister. I just can't believe they got a documentary crew to follow him around like this.
It's so spot on. Lathe Squamblombler.
In a Flomney production. Is this the whole fucking movie? Look at how much.
She looks like Taylor Swift on stage.

Yeah.

Oh, boy.

I'll tell you what.

They would never make this with just comedians like us and a pop star.

I don't know. We'd ruin it.

He's funny.

Get his number.

Yeah.

He tackled her down and married her.

But I'm sure in this movie, they get married.

What do you think?

Yes, because they want ratings and they want money.

Right.

They like money.

Thank you. You were in this movie.
They get married. What do you think? Yes, because they want ratings and they want money.
Right. They like money.
See, people on Hallmark like money. Let's ask Heather.
Heather, what do you think of having a boyfriend who's like 6'8", 260 as your boyfriend? And he can pick you up, throw you over his shoulder, swing you around, throw you in a stroller. You know, I mean, is there, is there, are you asking, is it good that he's a football player or that he's huge? Like he just carries her out on stage, like a little baby.
And she's like five, you know, and he says, don't drop the baby, which is kind of sweet. You know, Taylor Swift, three ahead.
So, Heather, weigh in on the size of the man. I'm not talking about a role.
Can you hear that? Ladies like to feel a little smaller than the guy. Oh, she says, is it consensual? We don't know.
I think it's consensual between Taylor Swift and Travis Cuff. What if it wasn't in this Hallmark movie? That's where they kind of go wrong.
Yeah, he just turns. It's time for me to score a touchdown.
What? Now she's a hostage in his basement. Where's the pop star? He's like, I don't know.
Your shoe is with you. No, and and then the cops are like he opens the trap door he looks down you'll get fed tonight yeah exactly no football player if they spun it like that i'd probably watch most of it um a little silence of the lambs in there keep it exciting i wish them all the.
They have to be, if you take Trump as a metric, as a metric of resiliency, no matter what's thrown at him, he just keeps coming. The world attention on this couple, just think of them as, it's Taylor and Travis.
They're just dating. They can withstand this and go with it and not go crazy.
It's good on storm. Yeah.
Too many cameras got to get away. Listen, when people know you're dating and everyone comments, it's already hard.
And then add that times. Well, it's a Hollywood story.
So it's that handsome football star, you know, world-class Superbowl winner, just what women like in a man he is, you know. And then she's supernaturally talented and beautiful.
It's like kind of a fairy tale. And we're all pins and needles.
I talked to Chapel Roan about it at the show. She's a huge fan of our podcast.
Where is she? Why don't she lean in? This is where she's supposed to lean in. I just made that up in case she's listening.
Did you, did you talk to her? Do you go up and go, hey, do you act like Biden the whole time when you talk to people? Well, yeah, I mean, we talk with, well, yeah, I do. Yeah, I mean, they want to hear the Biden, you know, I ran into some nice people, had some nice things to say at the party.
I don't want to name drop Jon Stewart, but it doesn't matter who was there. But people, you know, Biden's a new character that's about to leave the stage.
But I think he should walk around the White House with a T-shirt that says 81 on it.

What's that mean?

Because in 2020, he got 81 million votes.

And sweet.

Kamala got 66 million.

So he should just have a T-shirt.

It's 81.

What does it mean? It should say 81M and then under it.

You like that?

How about just 81 million? Why are we hiding and pretending? Yeah. You got to help people a little bit.
about just 81 million?

Why are we hiding and pretending?

Yeah.

You got to help people a little bit.

Yeah, 81 million.

I would have won it.

I would have beat him like a drum.

I would have won it.

People know I would have.

It's a cakewalk.

Come on, I'm being serious.

I would have beat him like a drum.

I did it before I did it again.

You can do that this week on the show.

You should be in your room with a cigarette going,

you know what?

People can do the one index finger tap with the show. You should be in your room with a cigarette going, you know what? People can do the one index finger tap with the ashes because you'd think mostly, and it's kind of like that or something.
I guess somebody doesn't want to win. But, you know, it's just, everything's a human story.
I don't know how it feels to lose the presidency. Trump knows how.
He got a little angry about it. He knows how to win, though.
He's had that twice, you know, so. Looks good on the res.
Hopefully tomorrow he won't say it. I just changed it.
I talked to the Supreme Court and I could do three terms starting now. I'm going to 90.
I know how to be 90 and I'm going right there. All right.

One more story and then we got to go because we got a good guest.

We got a, we have a really good guest today.

We got a really good guest.

Here we go.

Okay.

Let's see.

Okay.

This is just a goofy one.

So this guy is going to try to walk through this hula hoop.

Big shoulders trying to get through a hula hoop.

Ain't no way, bro. Ain't no way big shoulders Okay, you can turn the volume down.
Okay. Here he goes.
He's a big guy. He's crossed himself.
He puts his sweaty sweat napkin in his hat. And you doing it blindfolded? All right.
He's creeping up on it. Oh.
Okay. That's pretty good, right? It wasn't even hard.
It wasn't even close. What's this guy say? He's blown away.
He said, nah, bro. He's perplexed as we are.
This is the highlights of the world's Instagrams. That's out there.
That good harmless one no it didn't look like he could fit through and then he went back and he went through fast and he leaned down a certain way it's kind of like when you're moving a refrigerator a couch through a door frame and some reason you know you have to lift it up and it creates more vertical space or you know just something you know i'm talking i saw you do this once when we were going to dinner and someone had a hula hoop and you had your pile of money you carry and you go you think it could fit in there and everyone's like no and then you like squished it you go look and then a lot fell out i know i know well that's when you got me that dr seuss cap for christmas and paula said what are you gonna do do with it? I go stuff cash in it and go, go to a restaurant with David. Scrooge McDuck.
It's a big Dr. Seuss thing.
And I, I put lots of twenties in there. It's just money.
Yeah. And then.
All right. Well, let's get Jim out here because we're, we can always, we have editing capability.
Jim. Coming up next, you're our buddy, but you get to work with him lately.
I worked with him for the last five shows on Saturday Night Live. He came in, had never been in 8-8, never done sketch comedy.
We'll talk all about that and how he found his governor, Walsh. And, you know, his character lost the election,

but he didn't lose the election because that guy is a winner as a sketch player and a comedian and a hell of a nice human being. New Hulu comedy coming out on November 22nd.
We'll talk about that. Here he is, Jim Gaffigan.
Let's talk. I have a different shirt on.
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Toyota, let's go places. Hey, you're bad-mouthing me.
No, he's saying you're better friends than me and him are already what's going you know dana has been like my support animal yeah i've got a few laps under my belt but i do say this and i've said it before it became a catchphrase as hans and franz whoops it looks like the student has become the teacher i used to say that to the junior varsity sometimes chris rock or you or sandler the student has become the teacher jim is a quick learner but the first week um he texted me because you let's just set the scene this is jim gafgan he has 11 specials he's world famous he's incredibly successful great stand-up great writer so anyway after now that's out of the way now yeah he came in green going hell i don't know nothing about no sketch what's he doing here yeah i ain't never done nothing like that. What's this microphone? Yeah.
Why do they call it a script? Is it live? No, now you do you. Oh, yeah.
I didn't know what to do. I met that Lauren Michaels.
I thought it was going to be a woman.

Hey, Lauren.

All I know is Lauren Green.

He came up to me and you said, I remember I was like, well, Mr.

Dana Garney, what should we do next?

What's going on?

This here's a big building it's crazy it was so bizarre yeah you've never hosted just so the people know you haven't hosted so it's all new it's all new good enough i'm not good enough whoops keep your phone nearby this is a long audition this four weeks it's it's a microcosm of the entertainment industry, right? It's just every emotion that a performer might feel, they have felt it around SNL. Like everyone desperately wants to do it.
Everyone goes through emotions where they feel like they should be there and then they feel like they're being ignored and then they feel like they're embraced. And it's just a blanket.
Every generation alive today knows about SNL. It's amazing.
That was me just saying you're doing a great job so far. At the end of a question, we tell you that's your limit out that's what's that yeah I was just that was me just saying you're doing great at the end of a question we tell you that's your limit you know what's funny is uh Greg um little Wayne said he said uh the Super Bowl halftime show was ripped away from me that and I think that made me think of what Jim said is there's everyone in Hollywood hollywood at some point thinks snl was ripped away from they're like if they don't get asked they feel like this is the year i've done enough they should ask me right kind of like that yeah it's it's such a unique uh it you know because in our lifetime among in comedy it's the last pillar of this significance it's like even the status of obviously hbo is great and i would love to do an hbo special but like it's like compared to like when i was in my 20s an hbo special was enormous i'm huge you know hosting the mtv video awards was like an incredible uh event at one point and snl has remained and let me read these other things that lauren told me to say do you want to start linearly do you want to like you got the call to do waltz governor waltz sure yeah whatever you think i don't know i mean everybody's got just me coughing yeah well what i would say is of course when he was picked by kamala i say kamala because i'm friends with her now yeah Yeah, I call her Cam Cam.
Cam Cam. And once he was picked as the running mate, every dopey, out of shape white guy after Steve Martin turned it down was kind of like, what about this guy? And of course, I would love to to do it but i also know that because of the prestige of snl it's it's not something that you can necessarily campaign for does that make sense yeah so it's it's definitely you look thirsty you just hope they find you right yes and so my manager uh was talking to some someone and at one point i was shooting a movie you know one day a year on a movie and i was in uh in in the uk actually and so then he called me and he said, hey, you know, I've been talking to this person about you for Tim Walls.
And I've been saying that you're sending me videos of you for the impression of Tim Walls. And I go, really? And he goes, yeah.
So now they're kind of saying, can I see those videos? And I was like, oh, so you want me to? And it was like 10 o'clock the night before I was doing one day on a movie. But then I kind of just went around my hotel room and put on a jacket and took off a jacket and put on a sweater and things of Tim Balls, which is essentially I'm portraying my brother, Mitch, who lives in Indiana, who has a very Chicago accent.
It's just like a guy. But I thought that was funny.
And normally for me, whenever I get that close, I definitely don't get it. Like whenever I test for a sitcom, it's just.
Marvel movie. Because life's hard for me.
Yeah. I was over 200 at one point.
What's that? I was over 200 at one point reading for things. But go david i said you also have a lot of shows book and also sometimes managers they told me we have the same management team and they told me hey we're talking to these guys about this movie we're talking to this movie and it's between you and another guy i'm like what movie so if that's happens where it's like they're pushing and then you're not even aware if you want anything or not i haven't i had not read the movie i don't know what the movie's about they're going it's it's looking pretty good though it's looking pretty good i go what is but that's like you they're like by the way you got waltz second question do you want to do it of course i think you should do it i know everyone wanted you that's the funny thing is like what if you said i have no interest in that and then you they go oh now what do you and by the way yeah go ahead and guess what it's it's snl so uh it's i mean i guess it's you guys have a different perspective on it, but it's this elusive thing that has been always out of my grasp.
And as an American comedian, the measuring stick used to be like, oh, you're a comedian. Have you been on The Tonight Show? Or have you been on Letter tonight show or have you been on letterman and uh you know have you ever uh been on snl you know and i did this um a short jack handy thing a million years ago oh wow i love jack where i played a murderer it's great casting yeah yeah you know snl this is probably of all years the year to do it and the 50th is a big year and an election year which is always big for starting live so the combo platter is a big bigger deal you know how fun you got to be a part of this one massive global pickup with this show yeah it's crazy how you know how uh viral everything the particularly the the political thing uh on esponel it's like there's the people that watch it but now we're in this clip age where then the clip goes you know the, the daily beast posts about it, the drive report posts about it.
It's, it's almost, you know, it becomes unavoidable. I think deadline, I follow deadline.
I think deadline on Twitter puts every single sketch on. I never knew that.
I mean, usually on a Mondayay you'd see what's their funniest thing they did

and they would show a clip and it gets out there on yahoo news or whatever and now suddenly it's everything on my feet i can see for sure every sketch even update it's like boom as they're coming out boom boom yeah it's amazing i don't know if this is true but i think area on a grande it was like the show and then 350 million across all platforms you know tick tock everything so that it matriculates i still people just watch the first episode you know texting me yeah i saw that you know um so anyway so i meet we meet you're coming in 8h for the first time the read-throughs are now in 8h they used to be in a little room upstairs basically and it's set up with 40 people there's tablecloths there's cards like a oscar party there's piano there's music and it's kind of i was a little nervous i was coming in doing biden for the first time we that was the read-through we were at and you were reading and. And so how did that feel? Because that's the first time you kind of hang it all out.
You know, here comes Jim's take. It's very unnerving.
And there is a sense that this can change in a moment's notice where, you know, Lauren could be like, I didn't like that you know i mean and and that's not to say that he's uh attaching an opinion to it it's just the reality so there was something of like you know i canceled all these stand-up dates i hope it they don't change their mind oh yeah that's right but yeah it was well they can tweak right you know you you take your take on it it's like a movie and then you get with the directors or people around or the writers and they say could you i mean i'm i'm just guessing i don't know what happened but sometimes they will play with a little bit until everyone agrees this is this is the right feel yeah i i was surprised at the amount, probably because there's just so much happening so, so quickly there, particularly in the cold open feels separate from the show in some ways that I feel like Dana and I were like, well, because, you know, these head writers, you know, are juggling so many things.

And the last thing you want to do is be a pest.

And so it also doesn't serve your needs to be kind of like, what about this every two seconds? So there's Dana and I are like, are we crazy about, you know, like if you do catch someone's

ear, you want to be very precise with an idea you have. You don't want to just be jawing their ear off because, you know, also they've been they haven't slept for three days.
So it's. Yeah.
You pick your fights. You go, can I just change this line? You have to have like a plan.
Like, can I just this is my most important thing. Instead of going, a little wonky they're like it'll be great out there and then you're like oh shit i didn't really specify what yeah what i needed i think they've been pretty good all in all but i know what you mean they there's a lot of different inputs into that cold opening and the political environment it's moving in real time but i think for someone like jim the stand-up you know he just knows that there's a rhythm and a musicality to the way you land a laugh and as waltz so i kind of encourage you just to say take it or leave that leave it we always we don't try to push like put this in but sort of suggest it and a lot of times they're like glad like oh, oh, great.
Now, one less joke.

We don't we don't have to fix it.

Yeah.

So it is kind of nice. But so I watched you throughout the week and get more and more confidence because then we go down.

We're on our feet.

We're kind of walking through it.

And, you know, you're kind of feeling a little better.

Or how are you like?

It's you know, it's also.

Yeah, it's it's strange, but there's also nothing more fun than trying a new joke, right? So there's nothing more rewarding, but it is very strange. And it's also, but you're also, you know, you're inserted into this all-star lineup with Dana and Maya and Andy.
It's fascinating. And it's just so weird how there's, it reminds me, because there's been different times when I've been hired for different acting jobs, and you have a couple lines.
For me, I'm such an obsessive person that whether I have two lines or whether I have, like, ten pages, that will take up all my time. I don't know you it's like sure just want to get it right i think i have never seen you in all these these five weeks not holding the script yeah and whereas like i think andy samberg i don't think he even looked at a script he was so he's he's good at it yeah he knows what he's doing just the cards right which right? And I think after the first week, I was like, I do have to read the cards.

But, you know, also as a funny person, you know,

it's much more important to get the sentiment of the joke

or the point of view of the joke than the exact wording.

But, yeah, it's so different because it's also, as we all know, as stand you go up there by yourself you're the writer director and editor so if you're like not feeling it you could just be like i don't want to do that right now and you can move on but when you're uh particularly in such a uh you have like 80 eyes on you on this one like yeah you know what's he doing and want to be, you know, obviously you want to be respectful to the other performers and to the writers. And, uh, and you know, I think when, you know, it's like different if you have your own TV show, you can sit there and go, no, I'm going to say this.
Whereas you want to be respectful of everyone here. It was interesting on the cold opening, the first show where we were ostensibly top secret, not revealed.
We would go in secret ways to the building. Who's going to play who in this thing? And then it was very gratifying to watch, you know, when you came out just with that kind of energy and doing the prayer hands and this.
And then they would, for Andy too, They would kind like uh uh it's jim gaffigan and then it would just really and i was sitting back on the couch going well that's kind of satisfying they're like we're so happy it's you doing waltz it's a great you know boost yeah so uh yeah such a a really kind of rewarding experience. It's bizarre.
And the one with you and Bowen side by side, that came together on air. That had some great moments.
That was a killer section in there. Yeah, and I love the last minute aspect of it because it reminds me of like when you're about to go on stage during standup and you have an idea or you're on the subway and you have an idea that, that adjusts a joke that you've been working on for like an extended period.
And it's that adjustment that really helps. Cause I was just always watching Tim wall's videos and I would see him do a behavior.
And then I'd be like, all right, I'll bring that in. Because again, there's so many moving parts.
It wasn't like, um, people were like, Tim walls does this. Can you add it? It was, it was left up to me, you know, which I know was surprising.
You know what? Everyone's so good that, uh, as an outsider watching, you know, I would say, give it to Gaffigan, give it to Maya, give it to Dana. And then they're going to get it 98% there because there's such perfectionists in their own comedy that there's, it's kind of nice that you can hand it over and you know it's going to be pretty much what it's going to be and they have so much on their mind i think it's great that you're working on it because you want to just every time they see you it's a tiny bit better and they're like oh he's been paying attention because we have other 22 sketches and all the other millions of things going on yeah and then if kamala comes they they have to say oh now it's more security more hassle more confusion i guess wasn't it i mean i'm guessing oh my gosh yeah speak to that just that whole evening it's you know there's times when i don't know i don't have a machine gun i don have an AR.
But to walk down the hallway and there's like six guys with machine guns, you're like, I don't know if we need six. I thought it was more like 12 or something.
Feels like. I'm a pragmatist.
I'm like, I'm not a gun guy, but I think a handgun would be more practical here.

You don't want to catch some strapples.

They seem to be six foot five.

They had helmets.

They had flak jackets, big boots.

And night vision goggles.

Night vision goggles.

And then this assault rifle or machine gun or whatever it was.

And, you know, I'm dressed as a tomato.

I'm like, hi, fellas. I never felt more feminine.
They have those goggles because they saw in the itinerary it's Saturday Night Live. They're like, bring the night vision.
It's also, you know, and I don't know, cause they were all very nice, very professional. Very professional.
Absolutely. But you could also get a sense a little bit like, oh, my gosh, we're at SNL.
Do you talk to them like London guards? Are you allowed to talk to them? Yeah, I mean, they were they were. But like when she came down the hallway, I had to leave.
And then Dana, you got to hang out with her, right? Yeah, I mean, well, first of all, when I was walking down the middle of those guys dressed as Biden, I just instinctually did a little salute. Like I was the commander in chief.
So it was all very, just when is she coming? How is she coming? Everyone was waiting longer. Is she happy? And we needed to fit in a time for her to rehearse with Maya.
So we're waiting to do the notes we're in 8-H it there's a tension and a sensitivity going on a quietness it was like an exotic tiger was coming when is Kamala coming you know and she comes in and she turns and she gets a huge smile on her face looks all around 8-H and go oh my mother could see me now and then kind of under her breath she goes of course she's seeing me now i thought it was very sweet yeah and so if we want to jump ahead afterwards i was going down the hall she'd done the cold opening and um it was a very whatever your political thing is it's it was a very human moment the way audience, the emotion of the audience for her in that studio for about two minutes couldn't help but kind of well you up. I mean, it just was sort of emotional.
And then she's down in Maya's dressing room. Her people go, oh, take a picture, because I was still dressed as Biden.
And then I came in, and she kind of went, hey. And so I had about a minute face to face with her and I just did all my Biden hooks.
No, I'm not kidding. I'm being serious.
She laughed so hard. She was bent over laughing.
So that was kind of interesting. So, you know, I guess she she sees all of this from a different point of view, you know, but it was kind of seemed cathartic or something.
I don't know. People seem to like it.
No, I thought it was really interesting because when they did the very brief rehearsal, and it was a long dress, so it was not like there was an abundance of time for any of this. Oh, was it between dress and air, her rehearsal? Yeah.
Yeah. Oh, that late.
It was like close to 11 o'clock or something oh yeah that's first time and then they did the meeting after that and so god dang what when they did the the and they didn't even rehearse the whole scene they just rehearsed her and maya and uh by the way daniel if i'm saying anything i'm not supposed to say you guys have to cut this out. We have editing capability And by the way, Dana, if I'm saying anything I'm not supposed to say, you guys have to cut this out.

Well, we have editing capability, by the way,

so you can say anything.

What I thought was really interesting,

and this is just me being paranoid,

is that Maya has such a presence

and, you know, blood of ice. And I mean that as a compliment is that I had, I was like, Oh my gosh, what if, you know, Maya has been doing this in this room for years.
Right. And then this person who's been on the campaign trail, who, having come in five weeks earlier and was intimidated by the setting, by the live setting, even though I'm a stand-up comedian and a great actor.
But when I was like, is Kamala going to, when they do that mirror thing, is the status ofa going to kind of be a disservice to kamala i don't think it was but it entered my mind like you mean a super pro yes whereas just you know maya just is so you know such a home run hitter and just like never breaks out that is the the juxtaposition is that going to end up being a disservice to Kamala and it didn't end up being that way it actually I think that it really kind of I think that Kamala appeared very warm and very, like, I think it was a really important humanizing moment. Here, let me tell you what Lauren also wanted me to say.
No, but it was one of those things where I was like, oh, wow, she really hit it out of the park. I think Kamala, you know it was hell held up her side because she's not an actress and she's coming in like on the fly there's really almost no rehearsal and so it is fucking scary as shit even if like you said we've all done it if i was sitting there i'd be freaking out and your hand could shake you don't know you're just like yeah it's almost too much and especially if you've never i mean she's giving speeches but it's a different animal i think let's be honest you guys what's more difficult being on snl or being president you know i mean it's snl it's just different absolutely we we just want the audience to know what how hard but you know i think that you're talking yourself in the mirror was the conceit and it's been done a lot but it was very uh maternal in a sense and in the end pamela kamala give me your hand and it was written not in a hectic way it was kind of slow and casual and relaxed and the way maya was so supernaturally comfortable i gave her good jokes i mean those it was not too long in my opinion because i didn't know anything about it you know i didn't ask dana for any spoilers and i thought the pomla was the first big laugh i was like oh that's great and then they did a few plays on words yeah and then they sort of ended it and it was like oh good it's not dragging out forever it's not you know classically like oh they went too long it's

like oh great tight get to stay live from new york big ending get out yeah and uh surprisingly it was it was just a very friendly audience it was it was who would think but it was uh it was a you know I've said this a said this when I went to do the George Bush senior White House. I was sitting with Neil Young at the party telling him that.
And he just said to me, didn't even it was in an apolitical things. He goes, oh, that's a human thing, man.
That's a human thing. So it was like whatever your political stripe is,

it was this woman who's been,

now is running for president in this room,

being kind of awestruck in some ways,

and then having that sort of reaction.

It's just like your,

it was hallowed grounds for a moment.

It was like the only SNL can capture

these kinds of moments

because everybody knows it's live.

Yeah, I mean, particularly in this year where I think, Only SNL can capture these kinds of moments because everybody knows it's live. Yeah.

I mean, particularly in this year where I think the most important media piece was not these traditional media things, but I think her appearance on SNL was significant. You know what I mean? compared to some of the media hits that historically would...

I don't think they would even contemplate having her appear on you know a sitcom yeah and anyone who sits there and uh the part where she asked maya do i really laugh like that she says a bit know, anytime a human being can laugh at themselves a little bit,

the likability quotient or the relatability quotient goes up. So yes,

it was a home run as they say, but yeah.

Did, will people vote differently because of us? I mean,

you and me in particular, or did we reorientate Western society?

Absolutely not. It says here in my calendar, reorientate Western society? Absolutely not.
Absolutely not. It says here in my calendar, reorientate Western society.
But everything is kind of nice when the reviews, I casually, I don't possess on them, but now you can not, I think it was New York times or something. You can't imagine anyone else playing waltz after seeing Jim Gaffigan was one of the ones I read, you know yeah that's very nice well thank you jim for talking to us and uh i'm not leaving i'm here for another hour we're gonna do three hours david is that all right yeah it's fine with me do you have a problem i run out of stuff you're like then i couldn't get rid of gaffigan.
Gaffigan now smokes. I'm still a hostage.

He smokes cigarettes now, and he's so comfortable,

and young cast will come up to him and go,

Mr. Gaffigan, Mr.
Gaffigan, could you help me with this?

He goes, get on my face, kid.

I got better stuff to do.

Yeah, I call everyone kid.

By the way, I just want you guys to know,

you don't have to plug my Hulu special,

which is the Skinny Witches on November 22nd. You have a stand-up special on Hulu special, which is the skinny, which is on November 22nd.

You have a standup special on Hulu.

Yeah.

And it's called.

And when is it?

The skinny special recently, Jim, we're trying to get rid of you.

So if you could just wrap it up.

No, get to get this in a Hulu specials at November 22nd. Have you yes am I reading this right am I reading this right all these streaming sites your words not mine how do you pick between Netflix Amazon and what's it called is that a real one you know he went to Harvard too I know's a TV character.
He's like Columbo or something. I mean, I want to do him on the show.
I'll just say we've been doing him on this. Brilliance is kind of.
Oh, the fumbling paper. I read something here.
Could I get this again? Am I saying that right? Am I saying you tweeted on October 7th that you would kill all people that studied at the john f kennedy school of public relations no he's clearly very bright but it's hysterical i see you squirming in your chair a little bit because this is what you say he's set the trap for the guest and it's also funny he has has a little smile. He talks like he's in the movie Mississippi Bird.
He jumped in. You're what we have here.
It's a failure to communicate. How much do you think it would cost to end climate change but what about i don't know well 100 trillion dollars who's the congresswoman from california who has charts let me ask you this if you had 425 katie katie she's like she has her whiteboard she's so funny i love the i love no matter what's going on at least it's fun to watch.
I don't even know what's going on. I just love it.
Rand Paul with Fauci is hysterical. You, in fact, killed millions of people.
Are you prepared to apologize? By the way, it was. I know David wants to get rid of me, but it was.
I thought Tim Kaine was great. I got to hang out with Tim Kaine afterwards.
I promise you, I thought it was Tim Walz when he came out.

That's how dumb I am.

I go like this.

I did a photo with Tim Cain and we looked the same.

By the way, it's a bit of a deep dig because to your casual viewer,

you're like, there's some 24-year-old kid going, oh, that really is.

What's his name? Timane vice presidential i ran into it was a game show one very funny game show was a great sketch smart monkey was very funny dan bula of course very funny monkey in space yeah that's some great stuff in there john malaney great it was like i don't get to watch the whole show i'm really lasered in i'm already drinking bourbon after that yeah oh you got your bourbon on the rocks though on the rocks do you remember the name of your bourbon father time father time you're right do you remember at the party when i saw your cheeseburger and i said i gotta get something get something to eat? And didn't I offer you half of it? Well, it was like a petite. It was a slider.
It was the size of a silver dollar. They're ripping off cast members with sliders.
That's the big story. I did get the pasta.
But guess what? In this first world problem, around 4 a.m., the waiter comes up. the kitchen is closed oh no yeah dan dana's venmoing jim 25 cents for pickles here i think that i think that was my last episode because i was only contracted for that time but oh no parties are amazing but i'm so wrecked the next day it's like I'm drinking so much.
It's just staying up till 5 a.m. 5 a.m.
is when I turn the light up. You know, because it's just a lot of your peers and friends.
You want to say hello to Marty Short or Jon Stewart. No, it's so fun.
Yeah. But I'm still tired from staying up that late yeah a little bit oh you get home when everyone's jogging and you guys are driving home in your limo these are just the this is just the behavior of someone with a severe drinking problem getting home at 5 a.m jim do you think you'll still go to the parties if you're not on the show just every week?

I think it would be too weird.

I mean, I feel out of place even when I'm on the show being there.

So, no, I won't go.

Have you secured an invite to the 50th?

No, I have not.

I think that will happen.

But wait a minute.

So, have you guys been invited? Tim, it's complicated. Yeah, I'm going to talk to Gervitz.
You will have to make a video. I told Lauren that you have made YouTube videos in a hotel room about how you would be at the 50th.
So you're going to have like to see one of those videos here i am at the 50th being nice to everybody and here i am introducing cold play you know no that would be i've got a sneaky feeling that we're not done with mr let's do well we'll all get on set of sliders you know here's what i one thing I would add, even though David's trying to get rid of me, I was, there was, Dana, weren't you secretly hoping, like, I was like, oh, hopefully Tim, Tim will also do something like. Oh yeah.
His pants fall down or something. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
News. I don't want him.
No, he just... He'll, you know, be in some...
But there's competing for attention. And even when he...
You know, like, I think in a different time, like him even playing Fortnite with AOC, that would be newsworthy, but we live in such chaotic time. Oh, right.
That would have been a good one. Who would not bad.
Who would play AOC? Who plays AOC on the show, Heidi? I think Dana would. Dana would play.
I got an AOC. Dana ripping off characters from Kazmers.
That's mine now. Thank you.
That's the other thing. I'm AOC.
I want to do other things. You would really want to take a job from someone.
Yeah, it feels weird. Because no one there at least looks exactly like Tim Walz.
If you walked by a customer, it looks just like him. And he goes, hey, how you doing, man? No, to me, Tim Walz has been not around that much.
And I just saw a speech or two or whatever. So I couldn't.
When I see you, I see it's Tim Walaltz you know yeah i mean no one knows the idosyncratic speech things he has i mean you have the prayer hands and the pounding the heart and then some of those were the ear thing because he he does the ear thing and lauren was like get rid of the ear thing no too much oh to carol burnett she would go like this or you know lily tomlin used to go one ringy dingy two do you want a big chair like lily tomlin too what are we doing here you can play tim walsh as a five-year-old put a hairpiece on you um no you'll be back and i will lobby it doesn't matter i think i think you should host. The audience clearly loves you.
And you're kind of iconic at some point. You need a white guy to host at some point.
Right? I mean. And you're mostly white.
You know, I'm mixed. You're 120% white.
I'm mixed. I'm Irish and Scottish.
Whoops. All right.
You're going to say goodbye because I cannot say it. So I've just been sitting here because they told me our manager said, you get him off that fucking thing in 30 minutes or we'll go dark.
And I'm like, we'll pull the plug. I'm like, oh, my God.
This has been a presentation of Odyssey. Superfly's executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade,

Jenna Weiss-Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro, and Greg Holtzman.