SUPERFLY #40 - Judd Apatow JOINS!

David, I don't know if you know this about me, but I've always been a fan of exploring new places. Not like you kind of, you know, no, no offense.
And one of my best trips, listen up, is when I stayed at an Airbnb. Felt like I was living like a local with all the space, comfort of home.
You know, hotels can be a hassle room service. And then the housekeeper housekeeping it's a hassle so then

you go to airbnb and you can get whatever you want a little cottage this and that it's fantastic you have your own separate space so it's a great product for people who travel david yes i have friends doing one of these right now if you have a home you can airbnb it it's fantastic i mean um to to monetize your home when you're not there seems like a good idea i mean look i'm on the road a lot i could probably do it it's it's something that people can do when they travel they have extra space or you're at a place not full-time you come in the winter you leave in the summer. That's something you should think about.
It's a way to get some extra money, and it's a cool experience. Your home might be worth more than you'd think.
Yep. Find out how much at airbnb.com slash host.
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I can't do the third shift of hot

dogs. I used to have like a couple at the

beginning, a couple five innings

later. Now I can't.
Is there an eating

clock? What? You eat

four hot dogs in a game?

You fat ass. Jesus.
Dodger dogs are two feet long the

game means nothing it's all about the relish and the mustard it's settling in and eating that's

the beauty and you probably have a waitress well that's the best place to have a hot dog is a

baseball game hey dana what's up welcome to superfly i'm getting a haircut later today oh you are let's not bury the lead it's just shaggy it's just a little bit much i need more face less hair you know if the hair's too bouffanty then you So anyway, I know it's exciting for the people listening. No, listen, I suffer a little bouffant-ism now and then.
But right now, mine's sort of scraped back. My room is a hair darker than yours.
So save it, YouTube. We don't want to hear that.
And also, I do take sips of water sometimes. And I actually hate it myself to see it.
So I'm sorry, people watching. But sorry, I'm just trying to live.
No, I think that's a good thing. No, I just, so I went to the dentist.
Okay. And usually at some point when I go to the dentist or the doctor, the dentist or the doctor will say, wow.
At some point when they're checking me out or doing diagnostics, they say, wow. Something's wrong or something.
Something's blowing their mind. So I went to this guy before and he did a diagnostics on my teeth.
And then I went in to get a crown, which, you know, it was kind of, you're like the king for a day. And, you know, I said, you're going to say, wow, at some point today.

He goes, oh, come on, don't be silly.

So they numb you and then I swear to God, the drill was doing Beethoven's fifth.

Or it was sounding like it was crying.

Like I've stopped the drill.

So anyway, then under his breath at one point,

as he got down, got all that stuff out, he goes, wow.

So then... I just, like, I've stopped the drill.
So anyway, then under his breath at one point,

as he got down, got all that stuff out, he goes, wow. So then he announces to me, you got two nerve endings down there.
I can't put a crown on it. It's all 3D.
You can see the tooth. It looks all shiny and red.
I can see them hanging out of your mouth right now. It's all.
It looks like ropes. Right back here.
And he says there's two uh nerve endings full of bacteria that are about to explode so you you need a root canal stat so today after this i'm gonna get a root canal i don't quite know what they do but i know they numb it up pretty good so that's exciting fucking sucks whatever it is't think I've had one. Oh, you've had one.
I don't think I've had shit. I've had, I mean, my teeth aren't great, but they're kind of, at least they're working right now.
But I don't have tons. I used to have those silver fillings, more boring stories, but they found out those are bad for you, whatever.
So they jacked them outed them out it's another scam the dentists go let's say they're good for you and then let's say they've got to take them out they get paid both ways they're coming and going and then yeah no you just look good but you smile big i'm not really about my teeth well i kind of buck tooth well here to to my why my stuff's not so great so i was had buck teeth i was going to be called bucky and so they said you got to get braces parents at first couldn't afford the bottom so the guy literally said to me i'm sure i've said this on the podcast can you just push on get a habit of pushing on this tooth to push it back because we can't afford the bottom. Finally, my parents, you know, five kids, teacher salary, scraped together, got the braces.
But first they said, but first let's pull four of your teeth, two up here and two here. So that's why I have a small mouth and a little like this.
Otherwise it'd be like fantastic. And then I got shitty braces by the time I never brushed or floss i don't know how you floss with braces i had head gear i when they came off i had like seven cavities and from then on i've had to take care of my teeth but luckily they find full candy corns in it aren't even chewed jamming no but how do you how do you brush i had braces as horrible i had the kind you hit on with a hammer you probably had that too like a rubber hammer no wonder my necks fucked up and then they never they never take them off and then i had the the rubber bands which are horrible yeah those and they had the head thing the head with the head gear which was hard you know the yeah i had a key in there on a retainer during snl to open the upper palate.
Oh, you had it later in life. I had them early and then they like, we botched it.
So my mom got it like out of the yellow pages. It was like get braces and a free balloon.
It was probably $100. So we had no money.
So I get these shitty braces. My teeth were like this.
And then they go, we got to get four wisdom teeth out.

They took them out.

And this will make you fucking puke.

I did get those. But when I come home like this, way too much everything.

You know, as a kid, you've never had even aspirin.

I haven't had anything.

Yeah.

And so I come home like, hello, God.

And then they go to sleep.

And I had four impacted.

So they're all smashed with gauze.

They go, change your gauze. So in the middle of the night, I go, I throw it in the sink.
I put new ones in. And the next day I'm bleeding so much, I'm sick.
And she runs me down there. They go, he almost died.
He pulled all of his stitches out in the middle of the night. You did.
I ripped everything out. I had to go do it again.
Cause you were, I just went in sick sickening sickening cuckoo bowl so i would have gotten hooked on uh vicodin that i didn't have time though but um i did get aspirin and then i and whatever uh and i didn't have any pain pills yeah advil now i take a lot i don't like i just i don't like general anesthesia i said just numb me up And they go, do you do gas? No, I just do the shots. And it's like, this is a joke I used to do on stage.
You go, a dentist having sex. All right, you're going to feel a little prick.
Sorry. That's all I got.
And then maybe some little balls. I don't know.
You know, when you're starting out, kids, you know, you're just anything that gets a laugh. You're not thinking what your peers think.
But no, I don't know. I will tell you, I had an adventure.
Plus, I hope you're okay today because we need this thing to keep going. Oh, it's going to be fine.
It's modern dentistry. If you need a ride, let me know.
All right. Oh, you do? I'll hit you up.
Yeah. And I want to sit in the back because I get car sick after dental work.
So I want to look like you're my chauffeur driving me through West Hollywood and just having people honk and go, look, I guess Dana hires David Spade to be his driver. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Things have really switched. But you go like, here's you.
I'm driving. And then I'll just film you like this.
And then I'll ask you questions and watch you go, oh, like they do on TikTok. Modern dentistry is no big deal.
Don't worry about it. I did get a cavity once where I didn't do the numbing, and I wouldn't do that again.
That was hard. Fuck, that wouldn't even cross my mind.
Idiot. All right, so here I am this weekend.
I went down, finally get to golf because I did six or seven weekends on the road straight.

Jeez.

It is a bit of a grind.

What do you do with all that money?

Okay, go ahead.

I have Atlantic City coming up in a week.

I have Reno and I have Sacramento.

Okay, but those are fun.

Those are just like fun ones and maybe a corporate.

So here I am.

I get to golf it's

finally decent weather so i'm in newport i'm out there anyway there's helicopters which aren't always on the golf course the golf course is kind of by the water so that's the nice uh proximity of it all so anyway they're so hot they're so close that you're like okay move i don't what's going on. And we're getting mad because it's so loud, you know, whatever, over, over, over for maybe 10 minutes, 15 minutes.
And that's not usually the idea of the golf course is to keep it quiet, quiet. So then I leave and I see a couple of cops when I'm checking out and I drive by them and I go, Hey, what was going on with those helicopters? They go, oh, we had a boatload of migrants come on the beach and they all ran and they ran on the golf course.
So they're all chasing and it's a whole thing going on around us. And I was like, who is our caddy? No, I'm kidding.
But someone threw on overalls and jumped in. But so they're running around.
Did you see them running? No, they were on the course next to us. They were running all over.
And that was all the stuff. It was.
Yeah. But they, by the way, I would have grabbed a coffin and said, give me that free phone and give me that stuff and let me get out of your way.

Because why are you running?

So they just come right on the beach and they go, this happens sometimes.

And I go, where'd they go?

And they go, I don't know.

Well, that blows open the whole idea of we got to close the border.

Now we got, we should close the beaches first.

You have to close.

Most come in and point Magoo or something.

Point Magoo. They're storming Point Magoo.
Ant Blabby isn't safe. Yeah.
Listen, it was just sort of, it was sort of funny to me because I thought these Keystone cops are spinning around and everyone's running around, but we don't know anything. I wish we would have known at the time.
Would I be scared? I don't know if I'd be scared, but I just thought it would be, I would help. I think they're, they're probably just desperate to meld into the population.
If it's like the great escape with Steve McQueen or something, you know, it's like, they just want to get past everything and meld into, you know, a guy runs up to me, need a fourth. We're like, Oh, sure.
I'm going to play through. And he grabs a club.
Yeah. He shoots a 62.
And he's really good. And then it's a movie because he's so good.
Yeah. He's just a natural.
I can't do the accent, but whatever accent it would be. By the way, only 25% of people of Mexican heritage are coming across the border.
75% is from other countries. Just a fun fact for our listeners.
That's a longer hike though. I would think Mexico because it's right there.
Right. I don't know.
It's not Canadian, is it? We're going to take them out. We're going to deport 300 million people.
Excuse me, sir. You're going to, you're going to get caught up in the net.
grab you accidentally i just i the rhythm i love of trump and i've been doing it but when i see him do it it when he goes to the gruff thing uh it's such a funny thing he's just talking like this and a lot of people said we're doing and then he sees the energy's going down a little bit in the stadium and we're gonna do it we're gonna do it just use that so hard and you kind of lean in when he does

that so but The energy is going down a little bit in the stadium and we're going to do it. We're going to do it.
It's just, that's so hard. And you kind of lean in when he does that.
So, but you know, Biden's, Biden's my guy right now. He's my guy.
So. Yeah.
Also. Okay.
So I, in the news, I saw that Tom Brady, uh, you know, his ex-wife is Giselle. I don't know.
Did you know this Giselle? She's a supermodel. They call them supermodels now.

Yeah, she has supermodels. Better than a regular model.

So she gets pregnant.

She's pregnant with the karate instructor or martial arts instructor.

His whole life is just, you're the karate guy, yeah.

So they go off, and I like that they keep saying, she's going to raise the baby in her $11.5 million home. They don't have to say, she's a nice house, $11.5.
Well, why wouldn't they round it up to $12 million? They should do something, because it's actually just funnier. That's homework for my brain.
I don't need to- It's so much millions of houses. Okay, so for people who just came in from Mars, Tom Brady was married to Giselle Bundchen, who's a supermodel for decades.

She's still gorgeous in great shape.

Everyone's gorgeous involved in this photo, in this marriage.

And you know what the two dots over the U and her name are called?

Do you know, Dana?

They're called a thing, like a semicolon or something? They're called an oops-along, I think. Okay, so what is- Cut to YouTube comments.
Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. Yeah.
Okay, but then Tom Brady posts this Instagram the next day. Can the child within my heart rise above? Okay.
Why? Well get that? Go ahead. Well, because just human, male, female, forget this trio of dandies, these boots.
Just think of the human thing of being instinctually even proprietary over an ex in some ways. There's left vestigial feelings about that.
Vestigial? Vestigial leftover feelings. Scottsdale Community College gets dominated by College San Mateo.
So the point would be Tom Brady is asking himself, can he just be magnanimous, be happy for them, be a good stepdad or whatever to the child? Or he can be petty, reflexively jealous, not wishing them well. These are just human things that he's trying to rise above.
Your take. That's my hot take.

Jesus, you got a lot from those seven letters.

Two people who are driving around.

Can the child within my heart rise above?

Question mark.

Three hearts.

There's three people involved.

The chop chop guy.

Oh, I didn't notice that.

Giselle and Tom.

Well, is it those three?

Or what about the karate guy?

Is that four?

Well, I put chop chop guy. Okay okay we'll call no no he's a jiu-jitsu champion there's the hi-yah guy yeah hi-yah do people still say hi-yah okay so it's that and it's also um but now he has a he has a kid with Bridget Monaghan, correct?

And then two with Giselle.

I'm ashamed to report that I know these things.

I'm ashamed you don't know.

No, I'm ashamed that I know.

What am I?

Sadder, yeah.

Should be reading history books.

Yes.

So that, and then, so there's another kid, and this is from Landslide, the song.

Mm-hmm.

Right? Yeah. Can you put your best foot forward how does it go and if i see what if the next instagram is and if i see my reflection it's not covered i'm doing bruce springsteen as stevie next yeah stevie springsteen and i see my reflection I doing Bruce Springsteen as Stevie Nicks.
Yeah, Jesus. Stevie Springsteen.
And I see my reflection. I'm Bruce Springsteen, and I'm not a billionaire.
He announced this week that he's not a billionaire. He did.
I spent too much money to be a billionaire. I am officially not a billionaire.
On what, those same Levi's he's worn? No, he sold his catalog good for him for a half billion but there's taxes he's fine he's fine he's fine i'm not worried about him there's a guy playing him now from the bear and i know does he look enough like him i guess it's sort of just it's not supposed to be these a lot of these biopics you don't they say, I just want the essence of the guy. I don't want to.
Well, if he's playing young Springsteen, when Springsteen really built himself up, you know, with a tank top, really put on a lot of muscle. Oh yeah, that guy's jacked.
And he, Jeremy Allen, why is that his name? Yeah. He's pretty built up, but yeah, who can? I mean, Timothee Chalamet is playing Bob Dylan.

I saw the trailer and I think he'll be good at that.

Listen, as long as they're good looking people,

everyone's going to go.

That's all that matters really to me.

Well, Timothee is a little bit closer to Bob Dylan in a sense of sort of, I don't care about baby face

or whatever, just shape of his face.

Yeah, kind of lean.

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Some people follow the rules, but where's the fun in that? I'm Soraya and this is Rule Breakers the podcast where we celebrate the rebels

the misfits and the ones who make their own way

every week I sit down with the biggest rule breakers

in sports, entertainment and beyond

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and why breaking the rules might just be the key to success

follow and listen to Rule Breakers with Soraya

an Odyssey podcast available now for free on the Odyssey app and wherever you get your podcasts. Business taxes.
We're stressing about all the time and all the money you spent on your taxes. This is my bill? Now Business Taxes is a TurboTax small business expert who does your taxes for you and offers year-round advice at no additional cost so you can keep more money in your business now this is taxes into it turbo tax get an expert now on turbo tax.com slash business only available with turbo tax live full service the menendez brothers and i will safely say i't followed the whole, all I've heard is they might be out by Thanksgiving, so when are they hosting? The show after Thanksgiving? Yes, and when will, how long after they step outside the prison, will they be on church chat on Saturday Night Live? Oh yeah, that's a good one.
Well, well, well, we did a naughty thing.esus doesn't like what we did with our parents now we're out you know yeah it writes itself oh yeah i'm inviting them on church yeah they don't host somehow if they're somehow not hosting will they it will be played by who you know what look at guy on the right because is pretty lean and there, he, he could definitely play a Menendez brother. Cause this is offensive to Mikey, but I could see, I think I could see.
Yeah. They're kind of lean, uh, fit, you know? Um, I do think off the top of my head that the guy on the left, Eric would be played would be played by Colin Jost.
I don't know. Well, you might have to put the host in there.
Who's the host? Well, Eric and Lyle are not the hosts. They're just guests.
Now they're guests if they turn it down. They probably could pop up.
Would it be a controversy if they come on? No, I mean, they serve their time there for whatever reason. They're being let out and they promise not to.
Kill anyone? Yeah, they said what we did before, we're not going to do again, judge. And he said, case disgrace.
We realize everyone got mad about it. Yeah.
But would people get mad if they came on SNL? And you understand it would be a great thing for SNL. It would be fun.
But would people at home, which, hey, it's controversy. Did, okay, pop quiz.
Did OJ ever come on SNL? Of course, he was never convicted. Right.
So he could have come on. He was convicted for the wrong thing that I would have gotten mad about.
Someone stole his stuff and then he wanted it back. But he did a real no-no.
Both combined some of the parts. Did Ted Bundy ever do a guest spot on hee-haw.

Hee-haw.

Hee-haw is fucking big,

or people don't know.

Hee-haw. Yeah, a Western Saturday Night Live

or a Western laughing, basically.

Yeah, Western sketches and songs.

I remember Bernie Bernstein going,

because he produced it, didn't he?

Yeah, and he goes,

they take hee-haw money

just as they take any other kind of money in London.

You know, money's money. It doesn't matter, you know, because people look down their noses at hee-haw money just as they take any other kind of money in London.
You know, money's money. It doesn't matter, you know, because people look down their noses at hee-haw.
Oh, yeah. Compared to, you know, whatever show.
Bernie did Alf also, right? A puppet makes money. Rule number two.
No, we love Bernie, but Bernie was old-time show business to us. Muppets, puppets, any sort of puppets.
Actually, we have a show called The Uppets. They can be a Muppet or a Puppet.
And it comes to all faces. It's all funny.
Okay, let's do more headlines. Because we've got a guest today.
So we've got a couple more. We've got to get to our guests oh yeah why are we what oh who wants to know that oh oh we're talking about trick-or-treating well unfortunately we taped this the second before halloween happened so this is uh costumes i thought were funny i.
This is a person dressed as a foot.

A foot in a foot.

So for those of you at home, there's a-

I don't know.

It's a foot in a thong.

Is that a, what are those called?

Those shoes?

A thong shoe.

A thong shoe.

Nowadays you say thong.

Not the undergarment.

Yes.

Yes.

And that shit.

They have a big red toe and it's a little crooked. Is a G-string different than a thong shoe.
Nowadays, you say thong. Yes.
And that's it. They have a big red toe and it's a little crooked.
Is a G string different than a thong, Heather? No. But those are beach thongs.
They're called thongs as well as underpains. They used to be called something else that we can't say anymore, but they're called flip flops, let's say.
Oh, they're called flip flops now.. It's a guy dressed in a flip-flop, standing up in a flip-flop.
Painting is, it's too hard to describe. It's funny, though.
I think it's funny. Horrible costume to walk around in.
Horrible. I'll announce the best costume.
My older brother in New York went to a costume party like this, and so what he did was he just put all these, with rope or or whatever he put mirrors all over his whole body and all around him and he and people would say who are you going as and he says i'm going as you because they would see their reflection i can see my reflection in the other guy's costume okay okay here's one this's one. This is the Olympic pole vaulter.

And that's the costume?

I got it.

And that's the costume?

You got it.

I think the hard part about this is,

A, you can't get a rod because the pole will fall.

But also, the pole,

he made it just long enough where it's a hassle,

but it's not totally debilitating to bump into people.

Right.

It might be funnier if it was 10 foot across. Yeah.
You know, like the real pole vaulter. I would just go, I would be the pole vaulter in the pit and just have wheels on top of the pit and just roll around as pole vaulter when they land in the pit.
You just want to be the pit? Well, look, I mean, there is no more. Like, well, look.

Look, there's no more sexual sport.

In high school, guess who got?

The girls, the pole vaulters.

They're going down the runway.

They're very fast, very muscular.

They've got this long phallic pole.

They plant it.

Then they climax over the bar and land in a bed.

I mean, it's really, it shouldn't be allowed.

And then they chizz on the bed.

It should not be allowed in high school.

It's so perverted now that you say it. You should have the church lady talk about how bad the Olympics are.
How bad, yeah, pole vaulting is. We like to take our pole, we grip it.
What are you for Halloween this year? Skeletons in the closet. Wait.
Oh, skeletons in the closet isn't bad. How long did it take you to make to make this one month you're telling me you made this whole costume from scratch yeah oh okay that's good skeletons in the closet is good i mean it's a month of prep to go to a friend's party at a dorm in an apartment complex uh that's a lot of work i thought she was going to heidi clum's party you know basically uh you're not impressed halloween really what it's all about david just for a second here it means is about three to six-year-old kids who are jumping out of their they're so excited to ring the doorbell they have their costume they say trick-or-treat and they're adorable i have chick-a-tweet candy you know and they're free candy and then as the night goes on that's 6 30 or 6 and then it's by 9 30 you got like a 15 year old kid you know he just he's got a pillowcase he's just ransacking there's gone he just puts sunglasses on i'm a guy at kid, you know, he just, he's got a pillowcase.
He's just ransacking. And a gun.
He just puts sunglasses on. I'm a guy at the beach, you know, and he's just grabbing and grabbing.
And then eventually there's a guy with an Uzi opens fire. Yeah.
I'm robbing you. Yeah.
Did I? Yeah. Yeah.
So, you know, it's funny cause there's schools now I read that are, they're banning Halloween parties cause Halloween is bad. I don't know how it's bad, but it's bad.
So I think they should just say, okay, let's just say it's a costume party at school and you get free candy because that's all it is really to 99% of the people. I don't really know what the bad part is, but it's something that is against someone.
So if it is, fine. Eighth graders like to do mayhem.
And I've done that. You know, throw eggs.
They want to have shaving cream. They want to get people wet and crazed out.
You know, I was traumatized by Halloween because my parents moved October 31st. So my first day of kindergarten was Halloween.
And so I'm being, I'm late. I'm introduced to the class and they all have crazy masks on.
They seem like scary. And I had no costume.
We have to march around the playground. So they just gave me a plastic fireman's hat.
And that was my costume. Never forgot it, man.
That was your first like SNL sketch. You're like, I fireman You should have come as Wayne or Garth Or the church lady Or something I don't know You blew it You blew it Are you gonna man the door This year And pass out candy Dude to come up this hill No one's that strong Unless Carrie Underwood comes up with her legs.
Dressed as the Tommy boy guy.

Yeah, that's what I am.

I do.

I did post a lot of people when they, I like when they post costumes of something I did.

There's a lot of Emperor's New Groove.

Joder.

There's Joder.

Actually, I take it.

It's very flattering, but a lot of them are too easy.

Oh, I did have one.

I'll play it next week.

I have a kid dragging a meteor around town. That was funny He really got into it.
Oh, really? That's funny. Yeah, yeah.
Around a whole town and he's doing lines from the movie. That is.
But Joe Dirt is like flannel shirt, mullet, you know, it's too easy. So there's bench warmers.
That's kind of funny because one has a bike helmet on and one has a vest on. And then there's grownups, which all you really need, it's really easy and lazy, but you just need one guy with a Kentucky Fried Chicken bucket over his head.
And then that sells. And then you're good.
The rest of it is spayed and cargo shorts. Well, you've got Wayne and Garth.
Well, Garth, any woman, it's always a woman. Oh, there it is.
Oh, look at this kid. Okay.
Oh, cute. That's the age.
10 years. But just for laughs, let's see how much you're worth.
Well, it ain't a meteor. Yeah, it is.
He walks slow like I do. What is that, a tire? It ain't no meteor.
It's a big old frozen chunk of shit. What? This kid's milking it.
See them airplanes, they dump their toilets 36,000 feet. The stuff freezes and falls to Earth.
Okay. We call them Boeing bombs.
No, that can't be. That's not what it is.
That's a space peanut. You see the peanut? Dead giveaway.
Yeah, that's a space peanut. All right, that's enough.
I don't want to give away the whole movie. It makes me like that movie because it's so ridiculous.
Movies are fun, you know, just so ridiculous. I like that kid.
He gets in. When you got the ACDC shirt, there's people at Comic-Con that one guy has a really good one with a full overalls, full real meteor.
I think it's a real day i gotta say i'm just gonna insert this as a it's kind of one of the most flattering things you could do as a comedian and doing characters in movies or on saturday night live and decades later people and young people are dressing up i love as them it's very flattering it's like it i do love it lasted. I think that comedy, when I was coming through my formative years,

Monty Python and stuff,

bonding over comedy,

really even more than drama,

catchphrases and stuff.

For sure.

Oh,

when we were in high school,

it just,

all we cared was comedy movies.

Yeah,

totally.

So fun.

All right,

next one.

What else?

What else?

Running out of time.

We're getting close to the end.

We're getting close to the end,

folks.

You can.

We have a guest.

Go about your,

go about.

Oh, is it? What else? What else? Running out of time. We're getting close to the end.
We're getting close to the end, folks.

We have a guest.

Go about your... Oh, is there another costume?

This is so weird. I don't know how they do it.

Hi, guys. Good morning.

What?

Even better he does that.

That?

Okay. No, don't get to figure it out.

No, no. I just did that last second.
I just figured it second i just figured you did well his real feet are out the bottom is it a magic trick i didn't get optical illusion or is it a visual it's a very good effect can we see it one more time yeah for people who are just listening i like that he goes from that to standing up that feels i don't know trick. That's pretty good.
I'm not sure I totally figured it out. Yeah.
I like that you're like, oh, that old chestnut. And then you thought- Well, I thought his left arm would be fake, but it didn't look fake.
You know, like half his body would- So it's an optical illusion or it's a deep fake or it's AI or something. AI can really, when I look at Instagram, any news report about something can be an AI.
They fake the voice now. Any photos of people can be AI, anything they say.
So it's getting scarier to say, this is real. This scares me.
This doesn't. You you just don't know a hundred percent anymore nope the only good news is like within three or five years mike myers and i could just be hanging out what's up man hey let's go to the ai and just say the ai wayne's world three uh and just some silly plot click the button and within one second we'll have a 90 minute feature film we'll be digital copies of ourself from 30 years ago.
And the movie will be a hit. Take one second.
I want to do a hologram standup where we go on the road. You don't go on the road.
You just do that. They get in there in their own house or they get with people and you appear on the stage and do your act.
They kind of. I think that's going to happen.
That's happened. I think.
Todd Rundgren did shows. I already did a tour.

Yeah, it happened.

You can do it from one place and it beams into all the living rooms.

But yeah, holy graham.

Beam me up, Dana.

You fight technology.

You're more fearful of technology.

I fight every day.

I go, no.

Quick impression of you fighting technology, 2024.

I don't understand it.

I can't believe it.

It's too much for me. I don't like it.
It's not my best. You're the devil.
Take it away. You could do a good impression of me too if you want.
Okay, here's Dana. That's you getting your root canal.
Give me another liquid Vicodin. You got a Vicodin drip there Like a gerbil Here's you watching me get the Root canal With close circuit You found out where it was You're watching me on a little TV screen In your mansion.
And then I press a button, more pain,

less,

go deeper,

less Novocaine,

fake Novocaine.

Yeah.

I don't think this is accurate of you,

but it's kind of like,

here's how fake your dentist is that,

because he's so,

because you got the cheapest guy.

So at the end he's running out.

So he just,

he just melts down Advil's and puts them in an iron. Then he goes like this.
And then you get the steam of the steamed Advil. Here's you with a close circuit camera out in the parking lot watching me just in pain, swollen up, going to my car.
Heather, Heather, look. Heather, help me look.

It's not my best impression, but it's just an impression. It doesn't have to be accurate.
You know, that one stung because it was so accurate. Here's an impression of you watching me kill at the comedy store.
No, here's me. Here's you watching me do a bit at the comedy store

And decide no here's me here's you watching me do a bit at the comedy store and deciding that you might use it for your own act oh yeah here's me switch that word switch that word he'll never know get laughs I don't know if I can generate those kind of laughs by the, last night I went to the comedy store to say hi to Bobby Lee and Santino.

They were doing that.

Absolutely.

Together.

And then, of course, I went up.

Stagehog.

So I went up and it was pretty fun.

Oh, you know what I did do though, Dana?

We have all this new material that hasn't been exposed yet.

I got my drink.

My water, because I do it between jokes. I don't have to explain that.
I go like this. Live fly buzzing in it, in the water, live going in my mouth.
On stage. I stopped it.
Stopped it. Freaked out, couldn't remember my act.
I'm like, what do I do? Did you tell the audience what just happened you could do 10 minutes i did not it's not funny i did you hid it from the audience i don't want to give away all my tricks i just was like i was i thought they'd be so grossed out because it was like this it bumped my mouth sick dude i couldn't even focus i barely killed and barely got a standing ovation

Did you just

One standing ovation because that's not

That's a low bar

Ladies and gentlemen David Spade is on the way

To his car wait a minute he's coming back out again

What

When I did my special

They do

I think they did do a standing ovation, Heather, but I think if I, I might have earned it, but it went well, but I think they feel like they should. Oh, they stood up when I came out.
That's good. Who doesn't? It's hard.
I mean, well, yeah, they're, yeah, now you're like, they're thanking you for the years of fun. 3,000.
You know, the one before it was in Minnesota, which I loved the theater. Great crowds there.
Yeah. But it was about three years ago.
And I couldn't hear my opener, Bobby, killing. And he usually does really well.
And I'm like, oh, no, they're a tough crowd. I told you this.
So I go on. And they're like this.
And then I'm not doing as well. And have you ever had a show that's important and you're like, this is going to be a tough set.
And we're not just at a comedy club. It's like a tough set when we're filming it.
And so I'm working, working. And then I realized they're all masks, but I didn't know.
And so the laughs would be like, ha ha. But now they're like this.
You didn't know the audience was masked? No, they, they, I said, oh, I don't want them. I said, they go, I think that one, you know, because of COVID I go, no, no, I don't want that.
But then they never said, oh, you don't have any say in it. And I'm like, oh, is that why they weren't? And I was worried about so many other things.
I go, I don't know if it was worth it. I did love, I did like the special.
That's not the problem. It's just, and they were a great crowd, but you can't hear it as much.
And so there's more pausing because you're like, but this one was like, that's just was not what comedy was built for as a mass crowd. Mass are for robbers or maybe magicians, but they're not for a comedy crowd yeah nate did one during covid and he had everyone sit 10 feet away from each other oh rather than i don't think they had masks on but they were all bad and it was just it was still funny but that's just one like now i get my special like nate was like this will be great and then wound up being funny, but that's not the ideal situation.
You just want a regular comedy. And this one was a regular theater, Denver, two shows, a lot of fun.
So that's not even out. It won't be out for a while.
It must have been a blast having all that energy come at you. I did one where, you know, it was sort of near a college.
And a lot of the kids had free dental care, but in any way, a lot of them, apparently it had dental work the day that I was going to shoot my special. So a good amount of the audience had cotton in their mouth and they couldn't really, I couldn't really hear them, but I shot the special, but you ever have a set like that where you come out and they're just not laughing that hard and halfway through you go, they had dental work today.
It's free at the college and all their mouths are full of cotton. And I go, why am I shooting this special in this situation? But I just held, did the best I could.
I shot a special and they all, I realized that they all had a pillow over their face. I knew you were going somewhere.
We go from mask to cotton. Okay.
So why though, David, let's just follow this scenario. Why

would they all have a pillow over their face? Well, that's a great question because that day was a pillow fight they had on the campus. Then they were so tired, they fell asleep face down in their pillows, but it was still a pretty good show.
I did a special in a sort sketchy area of country, and everyone in the audience had a hood over there, over themselves. Let's look at a clip.
I think we have a lot of clips for that. Actually, the worst special is when the tickets just didn't sell, and whole theater was empty.
Oh, if it's not full.

You got to shoot it anyway.

You got to shoot it anyway.

It was just one person out there and his name was David Spade.

And I thank you for that.

All right.

We will go.

Should we talk about?

No, no.

We'll go.

I'll talk about it next time.

Okay.

It's nice meeting you, Dana. And this is a really fun one.
Oh, let's bring on our guest right now. Yeah.
We have a great guest today. He's been on our podcast before.
Ladies and gentlemen. He's in the waiting room for a half hour.
Ladies and gentlemen, we present you the one and only comedy legend, because he's had his fingerprints all over comedy for at least two decades from 40 year old

virgin to super bad yeah to to other movies and specials anyway what can't this fella do and he's

going to tell us about his new charitable um events coming up it's just very cool of him we're

going to talk about stand-up and everything fun and what is this person's thing judd yeah there you

Thank you. events coming up.
It's just very cool of him. We're going to talk about stand-up and everything fun.
And what is this person's thing? Judd Apatow. Yeah, there you go.
Apatow, Apatow. Apatow, Apatow.
I still don't know. Are you feeling fancy today? I'm going to call you a legend.

Yes.

You like that? I'm going to call you Apatudio.

You like that?

Just for the amount of time you've been part of the American comedy scene.

We've been around a long time.

That's how you get, that's why you're a legend.

I have a quick question.

Enough about your credits.

There are plenty.

It looks like a CVS receipt.

Now, Dane had a question about the baseball game. This will be on Friday.
It may be over, but I just wanted to make the comment, and you can answer the question. Baseball, as a sport, if you're going to, the guy who makes, I'm not going to pick on Aaron Judge, anybody who's on a cold streak, you know, 19 strikeouts in a row.

Could you take a Judd, a David, or me, put us in the same position, and then the team would be the same.

Nothing would change.

We wouldn't get a hit either.

There's no other sport. Baseball, basketball, you'd be killed but or sorry baseball basketball football but in baseball i thought to myself i can do as good as aaron judge is doing most of the time it's brutal like when they get the yips you know when like someone gets the yips and they can't pitch or and i what is it you know baseball all that well? I mean, do you have any specifics for people? You go to the games.
Someone said they saw you. Is that true? I went to a couple of Dodger games and I went and the person who brought me said, these are great tickets.
You're right, you know, behind the plate. And I'm like, oh no.
Does that mean like I'm on camera the whole time? Every second. just you're at the corner it's pretty rare i'm literally in the center the entire game for three hours me staring not wanting to do what i normally do which is like eat hot dogs and burgers and not pay attention so i just sat there like frozen for three hours how far was john ham from you what was uh where's the rogues gallery of proximity i didn't see him i saw a mary heart there was definitely some heart happening there how did she score that directly she's in like the shot when they show the batter up close she's like right next to the bat you know she's in the tight shot there's a fold-.
If the ump is brawny enough, there's a fold-up chair right behind him. And I thought I saw Lorne Michaels sneaking a peek over the shoulder.
Just one quick insert here. They know that, so sunflower seeds are big.
I understand that. They know they're going to be seeing 50, 60 shots of the coach of the Yankees spitting out sunflower seeds.
So they know it's coming. They're going to spit them out.
It's just not a good look. I mean, what do you think about this? Because this is all over the web.
I mean, this is blowing up. Well, I – Yeah, that's what I was like on camera.
My whole thing was don't eat. Don't eat.
No, it's hard to tell Judd that. Don't let people understand how much you eat.
Because now that they have the pitching clock, the game's faster. So they rush the pitchers to pitch.
So the game is like 40 minutes shorter, which means I can't do the third shift of hot dogs. I used to have like a couple at the beginning, a couple five innings later.
Now I can't. Is there an eating clock? What? You eat four hot dogs in a game? You fat ass.
Jesus. Dodger dogs are two feet long.
The game means nothing. It's all about the relish and the mustard.
It's settling in and eating. That's the beauty.
And you probably have a waitress. Well, that's the best place to have a hot dog is a baseball game.
There's hard liquor. You get a seat that's closed.
Suddenly it's, it's, it's full on hard liquor. The thing, Dana, when you go to these games, if everything goes wrong and you're totally bored, you can watch the game, but there's so much other things going on.
That's why Judd wants to not just sit there and stare at the game. He's like, Oh my God.
Well, I have another question. A super fan, by the way the way during the regular season it's 150th game the team's in last place is still riveted by the game but every sport and especially baseball when it for me when it comes to the world series i'm riveted by every single second but in the middle of the season i i i'm not i i'm not going there dips dips a little I love the World Series.
I think it's incredible. Chad, comment? Well, I think it was shocking to see the Mets play so well.
And oh, God. Oh, my God.
Oh, get that pussycat out of there. It's a preview for Catnado.
I prefer the Mets when they're terrible. Like when they start winning, I almost start drifting as a fan because when i was a kid they were always so bad i love this to be the only fan at the stadium so i have trouble when they're great but it was fun to see the mets play well yep wait i have a big this is a controversial question this is just in a press time which is way before this airs but um then the and the the this chubby sort of portly fat guy that tried to take the ball out of the glove.
Yeah. I don't know if he was that heavy.
We were on disparage his look. He was like me.
He was husky. Husky is the most benign word.
I had a dad bod. Farley always said, I'm a husky.
I know. That's the size he wears.
Okay. So, husky guy and his buddy who get, I mean, I get all the hijinks and hey, it's your team.
But when you are snapping Mookie Betts' clavicle while you're bending his hand back and giving him carpal tunnel and stealing the ball. Fine.
And they get kicked out fine, but they're back. They're allowed to come back the next game.
I don't think they should be allowed. I don't know.
That was shocking. If there is a next game in New York, whoops.
We don't know. This comes out two weeks from now.
There is for sure a game after that game. I don't know if there's a game after that game.
Well, it's sudden death for the Yankees every game. They have to win.
You don't care that they're coming back. You don't care.
I'm intrigued by both teams. I just think that you can't be that good and not explode like they did last night for 10 runs.
And can you use the word, yips, I mean, in the first three games, or just a little bit of luck on the Dodgers' side with throwing people out and, you know. Judd, what's the answer, Judd? One might say, I'm not a big expert on this, but it might mean that the Dodgers are playing really well.
I mean, as a Mets fan, it's hard to. That's a hot take.
That's a crazy. Go out on a limb.
I like the Mets, the Dodgers, the Yankees. They're scoring more points.
I'm not even rooting for anybody. I'm kind of like in a fuzzy space.
I root for players. Like, I want Aaron Judge to go crazy.
You know, I root for the players because my heart goes out to anybody who's on that stage

who's that brilliant since he's 10 years old and watching him struggle like that.

So I root for players.

Listen, listen.

By the way, this just in the Yankees allowed the players to come back,

but the MLB overruled it.

And banned them. Wow.
Wow, there you go. I think that's more probably.
Forever? Jed, we don't have a ticker tape here. We just have a couple blurbs.
We're going to see similar looking men at the Dodger Stadium, you know, with fake mustaches and noses on, seated in the exact same place. So I think there's more to this story than what we're hearing.
Well, they got the facial recognition technology like it matters. Oh, that's right.
AI. Yeah.
AI finally comes to the rescue. All right.
What about Aaron Judge? His life is all green lights. If he's got a little bit of trouble, he'll be fine.
Because he's like 6'8". Is that possible? 6'8".
Is that even a number that's possible? Oh, yeah, it is because it's on every girl's Instagram. The guy's got to be minimum six.
Yeah. It is kind of weird when you're really good looking and gigantic and then a superstar and worth hundreds of millions of dollars.
You kind of like, is there anything that's bugging you right now in life? I know. Dana's like crying for the guy.
They say that like a lot of the reason why people are the quarterback is because they were good looking in junior high and high school. And they just kind of keep getting opportunities due to their sexiness and handsomeness to play.
Sexy privilege. The goofy, ugly guy who might have become great, not talking about by myself, but maybe never gets a shot.
They're fast. He and the handsome guys get the shots and next thing you know every quarterback looks like tom brady it's it's uh even backups are good looking exactly that's what i love about comedy you it doesn't matter what your mug is you can have any any kind of look if you're funny i it people because i i was sort of a cutesy guy

for a long time until i reached this age i was i was uh still adorable and spade and i were like you know well they say you don't look funny i was told that by some manager you know you don't look funny kid you're not funny enough you know you don't look funny you don't look well i have i I have a question for Judd about the state of showbiz because Judd's got his...

Judd has the state of showbiz because Judd's got his pulse or whatever. I just read, because we were sort of bitching about how in LA there's not a lot of shooting or at least the wrong kind.
You mean photography of film production? There's not enough tax credits. Everyone goes to Georgia.
We all know this. Judd knows this better than anyone.
One of the first things, Judd, when you get a budget of a movie is like, where do you shoot it, right? Isn't that an early? That's right. It's not always LA.
Unless the movie takes place in LA, right? Well, they always want you to make the budget lower. I think in the old days, you could kind of convince them it would be better in LA.
Now I think they go, just go to Prague. It looks like LA.
Go to Prague. I remember we did a movie in Shreveport, Louisiana with Harold Ramis.
And so we did it to get the tax break. And we kept hearing screaming like, and it was ruining all the takes, and we're like, what are we next door to? And they said, it's a monkey sanctuary.
We're having the best monkeys. That's where they live out their day.
That's where they send you to make a movie, not LA, which has all the good equipment. Do you switch it out and make your film a Tarzan movie,

even if it's a romantic comedy?

I mean, you know, you write fast.

I mean, come on, we just make it a...

On the fly.

Jungle Cruise 2.

Dana, this just in.

So they're changing,

Gavin Newsom is changing the tax credit in LA

because of our podcast.

They only had $350 million a year credit.

They just bumped it to $700 million. And that's not going to go into effect till next summer.
So a year, but I think that's, I think it's okay. It's not enough when everything is in billions.
Now, everything you hear about is a billion when here, 2 billion, 20 million, a hundred billion. So when you're still have an M in front of it, it doesn't sound like it's a huge help, but it will help.
So I appreciate the effort, but we got a lot of crew. We got a lot of people here that want to work and they're in the Tinseltown Hollywood.
And we got to make it a little easier. We have studios there all over the place.
Don't want them to go down. We need a tax break, which is more than Jessica Alba has in the bank.
Yeah. At any given time.
I personally love the businessman artist thing. I'm envious, but when I see people leveraging whatever their career is and then becoming a gazillionaire with different products, it's like, you know.
How come you never bought like a cell service? Yeah, I was, I thought I, you know, in the nineties, you couldn't even do a commercial. In the eighties, Hans and Franz were offered.
Just do it. The first Nike campaign, just do it.
Couldn't do it. Weren't allowed to do it.
Why? Who said no? Just forces it play. It's not what we do.
And then everybody, it flipped. And now you see even cast members that are out of SNL doing massive campaigns for commercials.
They leave the show to do a commercial and come back. I turned down a lot of commercials and I would have gone, I'm fine, but I would have gone back and done them.
Leno was right. Leno did Doritos.
They did Doritos. I remember I had a friend who left SNL, and they did a commercial for the phone company, and got paid more money than they got paid for like eight years on SNL.
Yes. Well, you know, Dana, I did one for a MCI.
No, I did one for a... What's in your wallet? Oh, 1-800-COLLECT.
Oh, yeah, I did that too. But when I 1-800-COLLE collect where i go hey call and i was on payphone going hey call one hundred collect you know i did that anyway hilarious so when i did a playboy interview which is like kind of a big interview not just playboy it's just a big interview and so gervitz called me and he goes i'm sorry i'm reading this interview i'm sorry just got a call from MCI.
You didn't happen to say in the interview, you do commercials for $100 to collect, but you don't really use that for collect calls. You use Sprint.
Did you say that? I'm sorry. All the people that are going to have to give back their millions of dollars, take one step forward.
That's you, Spade. Is that what happened? Yeah.
They called and said, we want our money back. And you apologized.
I said, no, I was just saying that. Kidding.
There's literally no defense. I was like, I was just being honest.
I would just say that it's opposite. In those days, it was like, oh, you do a commercial, you're selling out.
No, if you do a shitty movie with a shitty director, and that's your face on the face of a shitty movie, that's selling out.

Everyone knows when we see our heroes doing a commercial, they're getting paid a lot of money.

But this is not their creative area.

This is not their art.

But you want them to hopefully be decent.

So, well, that's a bonus.

But they're never going to be a 10 out of 10, usually.

So, Judd, would you like a commercial?

Judd Apatow for-

Would you direct a Super Bowl one and argue right now?

Well, here's the thing. I got offered a Superbowl, Superbowl commercial and some company wanted to do some sort of variation of Seth and Paul doing, you know, how I know you're gay as a Superbowl.
Right. Yeah.
And I was like, gay, would, gay, what would it be? I don't think that'll work.

I don't either.

And they hadn't asked them yet.

So I just said,

no,

like,

I don't see how you can adjust that joke to make it work.

Right.

Then I watched the super bowl.

They're both in it.

They made millions.

And it was funny.

Like,

you cut yourself out of the equation. Hilarious.
I didn't believe it ourselves. Did you turn the TV off and storm out of the room when you saw that? I was upset.
Yeah. The one thing I wanted to ask you, just because I'm curious, because we briefly talked about it a little while back, is just the culture of Hollywood in terms of what they'll green light.
And I know now it's, it, it, it, you just said something interesting that, and it wasn't negative or whiny. It was just sort of like observing that when you pitch things, if it's subtle and kind of quiet, like something like the office or whatever, they want something that can trend or make noise or be noisy as a concept, you know, know um chimpanzees go on a spaceship and then come back to earth and you know earth a kid is alive and is president united states you got it so how are you navigating that i know we're going to talk about your stand-up in a second but as a filmmaker well i have a new theory which is i feel like uh everything is like in the

newspaper business if it bleeds it leads like everything is doom scrolling because they don't want you to shut anything off so they're obsessed with it being really intense that's why almost everything on the streamers is either about the biggest star in the world or a serial killer everything is a thriller

everything is like

hypersexual

yeah either about the biggest star in the world or a serial killer. Right.
Everything is a thriller. Everything is like intense.
Hyper sexual. Yeah.
You know, some actor, you know, like Nicole Kidman, which I love her, her shows. Cause they're just sexy thrillers.
Cause she's in everyone. She's in a lot.
Good for her. It's all like completion rate.
Like we must have them completed. We could not put on a film if anyone shuts it off and so there's an intensity to everything whether it's sexy or exciting or terrifying and i think it changes it so you don't have quiet or subtle or whatever funny human things because i think they're afraid people are going to shut it off or not go.

And you lose a lot of good stuff when everything is so wired, you know?

Yeah.

Well, every TikTok starts with, I just got shot.

And then you go, really?

And they go, let me back up a minute.

So I was born in Michigan.

And everyone's like, oh my God.

And then it never gets to, you know, it takes, and I hate when it says, wait for it on it.

Wait for it so I can make money when it hits a minute. Wait for it.
Yeah. And so i'm like it wasn't worth it yeah i think if you have to tell you it's everywhere is this like i think when nicole kidman comes out at the beginning of amc she should tell you in this movie oh we want you to watch the whole thing it's's like saying, wait for it.
It's like,

ideally stay till the end. Well, I have to say the movie going experience now is bigger and

better for me than it's ever been because only in church or in a movie theater, are you pretty

much required to turn off your phone or basically on takeoff on a plane. So you go into a dark

theater. So you turn it off and you're trapped in the movie where you might click away.
If you

I got to... to turn off your phone or basically on take off on a plane.
So you go into a dark theater, so you turn it off and you're trapped in the movie where you might click away if you had a thousand choices, but you hang with it. And then a lot of times though, that was a great movie because, and it's so peaceful.
I pay it to go to a matinee just because I'm in a dark room looking at a screen with thing. It's fun.
It's still, you shut the world off. Judd comment i i think there's nothing better than laughing in a movie theater with a lot of people and we need more let's let's do more you know i miss judd preview screenings when it's when it goes well it's so fun oh see the movie for the first time oh my god you've been working on it for years and you show it to people for the first time i remember when we showed showed Superbad for the first time, I convinced Cameron Crowe to come to just give us notes if we screwed anything up.
And it just killed so hard. It was like winning the Super Bowl.
It was just so great. It was so funny.
It was like carving on SNL doing Biden. Yeah.
Come on. And guess what? And by the way, come on, folks, let's get real.
Let's get real time and got to do it. You know, that was a little nerve wracking.
I thought for the first one, and I think I overdid his walk a little bit when I came out. But the.
Did he get shot? You know, you don't see it. You know, I had never seen myself do Biden.
So I made adjustments, but I was waiting for someone to maybe heckle me. And I was I had it locked and loaded.
Get your facts straight, Jack. I was ready for that.
But so far, the New York Times co-signed it. So I'm happy.
I remember when I heard it the first time and I said to you, I go, look at Dana.

Everyone's struggling to figure out their Biden. And you have it just nailed quietly in your own little world.
And I it was the dream that they would have you do it on the show. I'm glad that all worked out.
Bizarrely was invited to do it before Biden was when he was before the debate problem. And then afterwards, Lorne Michaels still you'll come in, you know, you know, he just wanted me to be there.
But anyway, yeah, it's fun to be able to do a character that's kind of ironically new and then is leaving the stage very soon. So it's like a little, you know, you know what I like about it? It's like you alpha dog the whole show.
You're like, oh, by the way, yeah, I'm still the best one who ever did it. Boom.
This is my favorite Superfly episode so far. I think they didn't know they needed a good Biden until they saw it.
Then they were like, oh, good. This is a great addition.
Who would be the other character that you have loaded that you're like second half? I would love to do james carvel currently on those zooms leaning over yeah you know and i i like the southerners i do like both we both love senator john kennedy now you tweeted on october 4th your words not mine that you would So anyway, that's those two. If they were invited, I would I would try to do a deep, deep thing on them.
So no one does RFK. Is it is it offensive to try to do RFK? I did it here only explaining what dystonia is.
I have a brother with dystonia and it's just it's not lethal, but his vocal cords are just constricting. And so that's his voice.
It doesn't stop him, but it is all stuck back there. And you have to get used to listening to it.
I think it's just hard to listen to. I get used to it.
I listen to him on Joe Rogan. But the ladies like it, so it's not hurting him.
Yeah. Well, look, he's a Kennedy.
They go,

oh, did he have anything going on? Well, look at his uncle and dad. Come on.
Born with a boner. But is a Republican Kennedy a Kennedy? How does he hit on the ladies setting up data? I don't know.
Let me hear him hit on. How does Trump? It's unbelievable.
a Republican Bobby Kennedy Jr.

I do Jack Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy Jr.

I do Jack Kennedy and Bobby Kennedy from heaven talking about your son.

Your son is certainly a colorful character.

He has very extraordinary positions on different issues.

I know. I agree, Jack.
He dances to his own tune. It's just the same accent, but slightly more Bugs Bunny.
I like that they're so compassionate about him. They're not mad.
Well, they would be, you know how Jack Kennedy, if you ever want to just be happy, watch a John F. Kennedy press conference in 1961 or two.
The charm, it's off the charts, the way he was. I see you're a question.
And and then he would do some self-effacing joke. I mean, what a master of that, you know.
So anyway, I don't know how we got here, but where should we go next? But yeah, I'm happy to do other things on the show, but it's been fun to do Biden. And I do try to George Bush seniorize it in that I take liberty.
He never said, I can't believe it's not butter. I make it a character.
And when I'm doing the character, I like the character I'm doing. I like the character of Joe Biden that I do.
So anyway, that's all I got to say. He's a nice man.
Yeah. I mean, it's a human thing.
Neil Young used to say that about Paula. It's a human thing, man.
Cause when I told him I was going to the white house, we were at after SNL, we were sitting, I going with the white house to George Bush senior. He goes, it's a human thing, man.
So in the end of the day, all the politics, it's a human thing. And so I would love president Biden to come on and just be fun to do a little thing with him.
Judd went to Coachella with Biden, I think. Judd hangs to all the celebs.
So enough about that. Now, what about your comedy? What are you doing with this comedy thing right now? I'm at the New York Comedy Festival.
I'm at the Beacon Theater on November 9th. You're headlining the Beacon by yourself? I have some have some friends at surprise guests.
Last time I did it, Sandler came and Mike Birbiglia. So this time it's, you know, it's always, it's a secret, but there will be people there that you'll be, you'll be happier that they're there that I'm there.
You're kind of really just hoping I tricked people into joining me. And that's the reason to go.

And I can say right now, there are people way better than me on the bill.

Secret people you'll be excited about.

So, but are you going last?

Are you headlighting?

Well, that's always the question, isn't it?

Because when we do Largo, sometimes it's Judd's night.

And I'll go on and go over to see Judd and hang out. But sometimes Judd, you do beginning and then middle and then end, right? Sometimes we do like 20 here, 20 there, depending on how it's going.
But I'm also in Atlanta at the Variety Playhouse this Sunday. These are all benefits for hurricane relief.
Like David Spade, I've made all my shows benefits for the red cross for hurricane relief. Right, David.
That's nice. Yeah.
I gave fat ones to the bread cross about 10 years ago. Remember? I think you remember.
Cause I put out a press release. That's so good.
They haven't spent it all. They can't spend it all.
So you can, Judd Apatow.com slash events. And the one in Atlanta, the money goes to Georgia and the one in New York, the money goes to North Carolina.
That's cool. What's the date of the Beacon one? It's the 9th of November and it's the 3rd in Atlanta.
And what day of the week is the 9th? It's Saturday. And it's just a few days after the election.
So it could be any kind of night, depending on where you sit. Because I was going to, if it was a night, I could be there because I will be in New York.
But if it's Saturday night, it might be tricky. I was just going to be in the audience and raise my hand and then, oh, what? And then come up and do Biden.
Do you have a show that night? Yes. Oh, boy.
But I happen to be that's the ninth at the beacon for the for the hurricane relief and then the second ones is on what night of the week on the third in atlanta at the variety saturday got it you know it's funny when you give money to red cross or something and uh you do a nice gesture immediately after someone like like Taylor Swift gives a million dollars. Everyone goes, wait, what did you give again? I go, well, listen, it all is thrown into the pot.
A million became the kind of bar of like- Yeah, it has to be at least a million or what are you doing? And it can't be like, I'm going to give $75,000. And it's like.

And someone else gets 10 million.

I know.

That's the problem is that when you do these things, you say, like, you're going to do an event, you'll make some money.

And then the money just goes there.

We don't need to know how much.

It's all positive vibes.

It's all going to a good thing.

But do people give privately anymore?

Is that not a fashion?

You're not allowed to not brag about it. Oh,

okay.

Well,

I could do some retroactive bragging then.

So I was not posting on,

you know,

it's like,

it's like you try to give money to a politician and then Elon Musk gives

them $150 million.

Yeah,

that's right.

It's like when you see someone go,

Oh,

we saw George Clooney leaving this restaurant and TMZ caught him giving a bum $100. I mean, a homeless guy.
I mean, a not home guy, whatever it's called. And then they go, oh, well, when there's 18 paparazzi there, I'll give 200.
How about that? So for $1,000, let's talk about trending, bang for your buck. You go to a diner with friends or whatever, and you leave $1,000 cash tip.
So for people that were blessed by America in our lives, we can do that. And that'll trend big.
But if you give $500,000 instead of a million for hurricane relief, people are like, yeah. Yeah.
Sandra Bullock gave more. Yeah.
Yeah, Sandy. Yeah, but when you give a big tip at a restaurant like that, like, then the next time you come back, when you bring it back down to 22%, then you're dead.
Oh, yeah, they always heard, you know, it's true. Bill Murray said he always, I think he said he had to carry 20s during SNL.
Now it's 50s, now it's 100s. Because if anyone gets a little less, they go, a little tough out there in their career? Yeah, Bill Murray.
Because you're only getting 100 every time. Look, when I take my bag down to the car, it used to be the Bellman, then he's gone.
Then there's another guy with the trunk open. Mr.
Spade, it's all good. I'm like, oh, that guy gave it to that guy.
I have to dust my bag for prints to see who I give money to. I grazed it.
If you go to the hardware store and on the screen, it asks you what your tip is. What's your move? For buying nails? Yeah.
Well, I just went and picked them up and brought it here. I just tip half.
I just tip half. And when I go to a Four Seasons or that kind of hotel, I pack my jacket with 20s.
Yeah, half at a restaurant. I pack my jacket with 20s like a magician.
And then any guy leaping valet or whatever, it takes me usually, which I'm fine doing this. I know it's not what's going gonna break me it takes me about two hundred dollars to get to my room but then i go well why not i mean i mean i i worked on tips did you ever be a waiter or a busboy i was i was a busboy i was a busboy at the east side comedy club on long island because i wanted to watch comedians when i was in high school.
First, I was a dishwasher. I had the same trajectory.
Yeah, dishwasher was. But I couldn't see the show because I was in the kitchen.
I was like, this is a miscalculation. I can't see.
It was literally like Rosie O'Donnell. Was it the Hobart 3000 where you'd run it through a thing? The Hobart? Hobart 3000 was my dishwasher and the dishes would pile up.
You'd get no break. And I would eat off the plates that were left over.
Would you eat off of it? Because I had a friend who was a waiter and he ate like a half a hamburger off someone's plate. And then both his arms got hives.
So we all realized not to do that. I ate everything when I was a best waiter.
Hives from a hamburger. I can't connect those dots.
Well, who knows what saliva from the guy's last bite. That's what he told his girlfriend.
Yeah. She goes, how'd you get these bumps? He's like, babe, you know I'm a busboy.
I ate the wrong hamburger. I loved being a dishwasher.
I love just having my hands and everyone's melting wet buns and breads. And it was like a video game because they would dump the dishes and you had to clean them fast.
So the area where the dishes got dumped didn't get too loaded up. Right.
And it was like a human video game. Yeah.
And then you'd stack them and they'd be hot. You stack the you get, and then you'd have to mop the entire kitchen for the night shift to day shift and clean up for hours afterwards.
Oh, when I, when I smell, when I was doing those, you put them all in the racks, Judd, and you push them into the steamy machine and that smell, if I cut through the kitchen and you smell it, I just go, oh my God, I'm so glad I'm not doing that anymore. It's so hard.
Oh, get the opposite i'm just like oh my god that was so fun i used to put on foreigner four and listen to jukebox hero while i mop the floor at 1 30 in the morning that's cool it wasn't monday um all right well i think that's enough for judd he did a great job we had a lot of fun with Judd. He had his curtains almost closed.
He did everything right.

Let me just ask you one quick question. Where are you in your standup right now? Are you in shape? Do you have a new thing? Are you in your standup? I do have a new hour, and I think it's kind of interesting.

I tell a very long story about taking ayahuasca that leads to a lot of other kind of stories about mutual trauma that is kind of interesting. I usually don't tell like a really long story, but this is such a crazy one.
People talk about ayahuasca on this podcast and our other sister podcasts. Ayahuasca, MDMA, you know, whatever.
Neil Brennan. Have you done the ayahuasca? I have not.
I did mushrooms in my 20s and I thought, I'm good. David? No, David's not.
He's not going to do that. He's not risky like that.
I did read that you were shopping with Leslie and you were sitting over on the side or something. There's a lot of reports on you sometimes on the sites.
And a photo. And a photo.
Although one thing, David, you'll relate to is when I took ayahuasca, my back was out and I thought, what if I'm tripping and just start like leaping, but with a bad neck? And that's why you can't do it because you know, your back or your neck will go out. My neck, yeah.
Would it fix it? Or it would fix it and it would never hurt. Because I'm sure a lot of it's mental.
Were you kind of, without being pithy, were you fixed a little bit? Or I guess it's in your stand-up. Was I what? A bit? Fixed.
Neil Brennan just said it between ayahuasca and MDMA, and this is all public knowledge or whatever, he kind of got out of his depression. I mean, it really helped him, at least last time we talked.
Well, I'm Catholic now. That's the only big change.
That's a fix. Me too.
I'm Lutheran. I'm Lutheran too.
I was raised Lutheran. There you go.
Yeah. So yeah.
Okay. Well, interesting.
Thank you, Judd. Well, have a nice time in New York.
If I'm not in the show, I'll drop by. Yeah.
You have to dress. Yeah.
I could just squeeze over there. All right, Judd.
Miss you. Judd's standup is funny.
Go see it. I've seen it.
This has been a presentation of Odyssey.

Superfly is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade,

Jenna Weiss-Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro, and Greg Holtzman.

Hope you liked it.