Melissa Villaseñor

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Melissa Villasenor. And she's a delightful person uh cast member on saturday live for six years uh incredibly versatile actress and comedian a brilliant impressionist and what she does some for us is really fun probably the best we always extract it oh yeah owen wilson that's right yeah she does and um we really talk about her time on the show and and sort of the fun of being on saturday night live the stress of being on saturday night live just her journey her adventure in that amazing and sometimes frustrating 8h17 floor you know we've talked all about saturday night live

being a challenge emotionally for yeah being live on television so forth so on you know so

it's a great great conversation she's a stand-up also we i see her at the improv here and there

uh followed her the other night and she does a great job and she talks about her life and she

does a few impressions whatever it's all good so i think you're gonna have a nice time with her

Thank you. Followed her the other night and she does a great job and she talks about her life and she does a few impressions, whatever.
It's all good. So I think you're going to have a nice time with her.
Yeah. And one other little bonus to wait for is she she actually has an incredible singing voice.
She does she does different celebrities singing and herself. I mean, she's she's quite a talented young woman.
So I would I would stay tuned for this, folks. She reminds me of me a little bit.
Triple threat. Triple? Yeah, what are your three? One, funny.
Annoying. Two, annoying and funny.
And I have a knack for interrupting people.

I know.

I got some good ones in today.

Can you sing, kid?

I really cannot.

Can you dance? I'm a barely one threat.

I'm not even a threat.

But here, let's show them Melissa.

Here we go.

Here's Melissa. but here let's show them melissa here we go here's melissa we can ask melissa what's up dana and david good to see you we We were just laughing so hard at something David said made me laugh so hard.
It was a casual throwaway, David. We were laughing, Melissa, at the agents and managers.
This happens in all of showbiz where they're the important ones because they're like, you need to be friends with me because I tell the puppets what to do. And we are all the puppets.
That's the thing. All of our companies that were clients of got bought post-pandemic, got bought by other companies, and they got an influx of massive amounts of cash.
But the assets, i.e. the puppets, I tell what to do.
Yeah. I go, do I get a go unfortunately no i get a crumb yeah give me a fucking crumb i'm the one on the road i'm so hungry oh my god right how are you i mean golly you know i feel good yeah you look good thanks are you are you getting tan or something or are you just well i i wonder yeah i am getting tan but i wonder if my lighting is it's not good no it looks good you look good all right no i i won't uh yeah i just you know i i'm not a i know we have to use ring lights but i don't like them they give me a too.
Well, but you have a light, right? I mean, you're near a window. Yeah, I am.
You look like you got a window going. Window is the best.
I can open up the blinds more. No, you're fine.
You want me to try that? No, you look fantastic. All right.
But how are you guys? How are we? Yeah Happy that we see you

That's very nice

When I found out you wanted me on this

I was like, this is so nice of you

This is really cool

What are you, crazy?

I mean, six year cast member

Six year

120 episodes

That's pretty good, huh?

Of crushing it

I think that's what I did

That's exactly what I did

Oh, whoa

Yeah, I mean... year 120 episodes that's pretty good huh of crushing it that's what i did that's exactly what i did oh whoa yeah i mean you know i tried my best i felt like it was we all feel it's all a beating everyone's like i fucking got out yeah i felt like if i were more equipped for that or just a little stronger maybe i could have kept out.
Yeah. I felt like if I were more equipped for that or just a little stronger, maybe I could have kept going, but I'm a little wimp.
Fuck six years is like 200 years on that show. It's an emotionally violent sport, a show business.
And then SNL is the game of Thrones of it. That's true.
And when it's flowing and it seems good and you're bonding with the writers and you have a sketch, you get a hold of it and you land it. It's like the greatest in the world.
But then there's all these times where you just walk off stage. Then there's everything else.
You have audience members you wave to and they look down. They're like, even you know I bombed? Or even like, I thought it was painful when you would have guests visit come in town and you're not in the episode at all you're just staring at them in your dressing room you're like yeah they're like you having fun and i'm just sitting there looking at me yeah they go no it's fine our favorite people are on and you're like oh that's that's the worst passive aggressive compliment or question you know when you're not in the show that much did you have fun i mean were you having fun or when you have a bad set of stand-up and all your relatives are there uh you look like you're having fun you know look i i know it sucked i know yeah yeah but man yeah so much it's hard It's hard to prep for it it's hard to say this is what you want to do you get a fucking huge break and there's no real way to be ready people go it's hard you go that's too vague sorry i will figure out how hard it is in 18 different ways when i'm trying to get 200200 and quarters on a Sunday to do my laundry.
And I got to walk up 18 flights of stairs and it's my one day off. And I have no ideas for Tom Hanks on Monday.
I know. Yeah.
I was lucky. I was the last, uh, six person cast in essence, you know, it was just me, Phil and John oh last six person total cast yeah and then by the early 90s when the interlopers the youngsters the bad boys of comedy sandler spade brock all the rest tim meadows then we started to have an expansive cast like we had a junior varsity cast that was going to take over but when i got on that was that was the last time.
It was just me, Phil, and John as feature male players. What a dream.
Jan Hooks, Nora, and Victoria Jackson. Let me tell you more about my utopian experience there.
Melissa was like, I was cast member 14B. How many were on there when you got it? I was Melissa V.
I was counting. There's so many.

I was counting your 2016.

Mikey Day, Alex Moffitt, Pete Davidson, Leslie Jones,

Essily Strong, Kenan, who's always there.

He's great.

Vanessa was there that last year.

Beck Bennett, Aidy Bryant, Kate McGinnon, Kyle Mooney, and yourself.

I probably missed, but that's about 14, I guess. I don't know.
Yeah. That sounds right.
Yeah, that sounds right. Too many.
We had 22, I think, Dana. Because we also had like Frank and some people around the orbit that would jump in.
And A. Whitney Brown and Tom Davis, they could jump in and write themselves in.
So a lot of people wrote themselves in. And then there was a lot of feature players.
I stayed feature for too long, probably two, three years. And I was the last guy to get pulled up to the bigs.
So embarrassing. So humiliating.
Before we go too far down how hard the show is, I want to insert i want to insert this for a minute uh obviously i'm looking at stuff online and look at yourself obviously the lady gaga thing i was playing on my computer she does it at update um melissa that's your name right yeah that's right it's so transcendently brilliant that my wife couldn't see she just saw it. So then I was talking to Spade and walkie talkies goes, so that wasn't Lady Gaga.
But also it was a very funny take on Lady Gaga, why you did it and the way you move your shoulders, the whole thing. So that J-Lo with the hoops earring sketch, you know, just being with her was hysterical.

The kid genius character, O'Reilly. Yeah.
Like you literally looked eight years old. It was kind of an amazing, I know you have a very youthful face, but it was like kind of like you were 10.
What is that one about? Well, I, that writing night that week, I remember watching their, you know, Ellen DeGeneres on her show she would have these like genius kids go on and they they just really bugged me and then their parents were in the crowd like yeah this is great and and I I was like that would be fun if there's if I played like a one of those kid geniuses but it just not that smart just very polite you know so that was like the angle and then i but i had heidi play the mom that was like pressuring me to really show off and be smart uh yeah that one was fun that was a fun one and what did the voice what did you use for that voice you also the clothes were great in the hair just really shrunk you down yeah made you look like. Yeah, I know where the planets are.
I felt like it was, I can't remember, man. I can't remember that.
I have to watch it. I like it already.
I totally understand that. Yeah, you try to throw yourself years back.
You're like, hey, you did this impression. You're like, I haven't done it for 20 years.
Just give me a second. No, no, do it now, man.
I can't, I can't access it um does he sound like it sounds like the guy that goes well who's that little redhead kid that goes apparently remember he was on ellen he goes i was at the carnival and apparently they don't let kids on and apparently i've never been on tv before and apparently remember that kid right and it's just like that's the word he knew and everyone. Yeah.
Yeah. He really beat the fuck out of it.
And then he went on the show because he took the mic from the lady and he's like eight years old. He's like a chubby kid with red hair greased over.
And he kept going. And then apparently they didn't want me to go in the tilt of the world right away because I eat too much food.
And then and everything he said was funny. And then they brought him and they go, can the apparently guy come on the show? And then he came in.
That was his moniker, the apparently guy? Yeah. Good catchphrase.
That kid's got some instincts. Yeah.
He was killing it. I actually liked him.
I actually opened for him. Whoa.
Yeah. He said that.
Weren't you kind of a boy genius? Weren't you a chess prodigy? Oh, I was. Yeah, I was smart.
Yeah, I was smart for a while. And then it all went to shit.
It went to shit freshman year. I remember that almost time and day.
When you started discovering girls, you suddenly... It was also, it was girls, but it was also all our schools merged.
And I was i was known for math and readings i'd leave class to go down to a two grades down to go do math and reading with this vietnamese kid so i was kind of teach other kids no i would go to take oh like in second grade i'd walk down to fourth grade oh and then and then come back and go what's been going on here guys i a little tied up with fractions. You'll learn about them in the future, yeah.
And so by the time I get to high school, everyone's like, oh, there's the nerd from math class. And then my brother was cool.
And then everyone's like, oh, you're his brother. And then not just girls, just people were talking to me.
And I was like, oh. And then I would skip class just because someone was talking to me.
I'm like, there you go, there's the bell. I go, I don't have to be anywhere.
And then I just started losing grades because I'm like, oh, I just want a social life where people are friendly to me instead of just treating me like this weirdo outcast. And so then I got dumb.
They plummeted so fast. Melissa, were your high school years delightful? Whereo yeah where where you put them you know i think they were they were all right you know uh where were you i went to uh i mean i was a called a survivor i went to an all-girls school in alhambra california uh called ramona convent seventh through tw through 12th grade.
Whoa. Wow.

Did any adult ever get busted during those times?

Excuse me?

Or was it a nine?

Well, I mean, was it?

No.

I hear a comment.

On the up and up?

No, I know.

I didn't know any different, but I felt like it messed me up just, yeah,

with guides and social life because I didn't know. you know, it was really awkward, but I did discover comedy then.
So I was like, watching you guys obsessed with SNL and I was already working on impressions. And yeah, I started comedy at 15 at the Laugh Factory Comedy Camp.
And I was like, this is what I'm going to do. I didn't even care about, I didn't go to prom.
I was like, I'm over this. I mean, I know what I'm going to do.
I mean, people ask me this, like when you're probably eight or nine, you probably started to throw your voice around a little bit. And what was the first one that you got? You know, that's what they ask me sometimes.
What's one of the ones you remember, put it that way. I think of your early repertoire.
Like when I was 12, I started

doing like the singing impressions of all the pop girls, Brittany, Shakita, Christina. That was kind of where I started with the singing impressions.
And then I watched a lot of you, Dana, and worked on all of, I learned your impressions. Wow.
I love it. Good.
I love to pass it along. Anyone can say not gotta do it.

That's not different.

You know, what I was gonna say, which is interesting

too. I love it.
Good. I love to pass it along.
Anyone can say not got to do it. That's not different.
You know, what I was going to say, which is interesting to me, is that like, say you do an impression of your seventh grade PE teacher, and then you go to a comedy club, that can be your, now it's called a character, but it's an impression of your pe coach then if the pe coach somehow gets famous

it's the exact same voice but now you're doing an impression so the line between character and

impression sort of blurs sometimes like i just did my brother brad for garth and it was an impression

of him kind of exaggerated so yeah i don't know um i i'm sorry my mind's kind of spinning because

you have so much talent i don't we don't have that much time. Did anyone teach you how to sing? Just sing.
The fact that you can sing is a big plus. Sing is other people, but you can just sing.
You have an album out, right? You have to. Yeah, I do.
When did you learn you could just sing? Because I can't sing. I don't know I I felt like I I did choir and stuff and I oh I remember being a little kid and seeing people sing up there like in church and I was like yeah I could do that I heard I've heard myself sing I could do that um but I didn't have any proper training I just I just liked it and at first I thought I was be a singer.
But then I realized, oh, comedy is better. I can do impressions of, you know, and make people laugh.
Like that was just another level. But I do like, I do enjoy just singing, you know, cover songs.
And right now I'm trying to work on a bolero cover album of like Spanish classics songs and with my friend's band.

Of course you are.

Yeah.

Of course.

And it's like.

And it's like.

And it's like.

Let's go.

E con la mano.

La calma.

Devo sit down.

La la mano.

I love Spanish singing.

You know, Linda Ronstadt.

I love the Spanish language.

Linda Ronstadt, who I used to love.

I still do.

She.

I remember.

That album.

I went to see her in concert and she did one. half of the concert was Spanish songs, right? Yeah.
She's great. Yeah, she had that album songs for her father and all the mariachi songs.
But that's what I'm hoping to do, you know? Oh, yeah. Well, she's so top notch.
You will do it. You're already famous.
Yeah, that's half the battle. And you're so talented.
I think it's pretty much a no-brainer. It's like your friends.
Thanks, guys. You got that one.
Thanks. You got that one.
I just want to fill in this gap a little bit. So you're singing like Britney Spears.
So you're like a little miracle kid. Oh, yeah.
All you people look at me like I'm a little girl. That was like the first one.

And then I go back to my speaking voice.

You're like,

oh man.

Oh no.

But the dichotomy is great.

I don't have a voice.

Spade has a voice.

You want to have a neutral voice that you can throw all around.

Your natural voice is like this,

you know.

But was that your,

I mean,

did kids, were kids

amazed like in seventh grade and stuff? Yeah. I mean, it's like a magic trick.

Really amazed. Yeah.
It was cool. And then, you know, I mean, you've, you've, I'm sure

you've heard there, but like, yeah, the Christina. Oh, that's, that sounded a little bad, but

that's great. I love your, that you're doing this.
I didn't want to ask you to do voice. No, no.
I love that. Tell it like, like in a story like that, I think it's great.
Yeah. Talk through it.
Like how you got that. You just listened to her and it just hit you.
Did you get, did you get, were you not so good and then you got better with the Christina impression or did it just kind of hit you after you saw her on something? I think it's just like I listen to it so much and then you start practicing and you're like, oh, I could do this. But isn't she known as already a great singer anyway? And then you're, so now you're doing an impression of you can sing, but you have to actually be great? Yeah, I guess so.
You know what I mean? Like she's so like, people can't even sing like her. her so you can sing like her so you must be able to sing pretty well come on over come on over baby oh yeah yeah see that see i i know that's uh you i do it you are you organically are singing from your diaphragm or whatever, because most people try to sing.

It's all throat catch.

Well, I do.

That was a little.

I felt like I felt a little push there.

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I know, sorry, my thoughts are all over the place

because I also want to learn about your stories too.

Cause you guys are just like, this is, I'm a little starstruck too.

Yeah. Well, well, yeah, we met,

we met each other in the clubs a few times and you were on a comedy

competition show, weren't you?

First impressions, your show.

First impressions. Yeah.

And I got to say that was such a beautiful year because I did that show with you and I was like oh this is this is so magical and then I did my first pilot for Barry Bill Hader's show I was the waitress at the end and I was like oh this is magical like all this just people from SNL are are entering life. And then that was the summer I got the show.
It was just so cool how that was all the same. It was so beautiful.
Well, it's fun. And I mean, I don't know if you go to clubs and you meet a younger version of yourself that maybe has a few impressions or is a good stand up and you want to give them props.
You're still, I mean, there'siveness with with with uh comedians or clowns you want to call us you know i always say the reason that class clown is singular is because if there were two class clowns one class clown would kill the other for the attention yeah but off my turf you're a saturday night live vet you kicked ass on the show you have all this talent so when it means something to somebody who's like 23 or 4 coming up and you co-signing them and going you know you you've got it just keep going yeah whatever you say oh yeah no it's nice yeah i feel like it feels nice to do that for like pay attention to yeah try to help because you see dana i see dana and then when i get on the show i don't know that dana is worried about sketches or this or what and then i'm like oh there's more going on in his head other than he's a star i remember seeing john lovitz and then when i went to the show i told dana that john was sad and i'm like what do you i mean in my head i go you're on the best show in the world. And he goes, I'm only in two things this week.
And I go, who cares? Who would even notice? Like when you're on, I'm like, oh, he's funny. I have no idea how many sketches people are in.
And then I said, I just see you as like a star that's really makes me laugh like Dana. And then when I got there, I'm like, fuck, I'm all, and I, and I immediately go, I just fell for it.
And I already know the playbook. You're not supposed to to think this way and then after two read-throughs i'm like i'm not even in the show and then i started going oh my god i'm turning into this i can't help it it's it gets hard i know and you try to talk yourself off the ledge but your your highlight reel is pretty pretty extensive know, if you ever go online and check yourself

out, you know, there is that one, I think it's, what is it? The we are me too or something. Someone put a compilation of clips and I look at it and I'm like, yeah, that's right.
Okay. Yeah.
Oh yeah. You're scoring there.
You're scoring there. You're scoring there.
I saw you Gwen Stefani on Kelly Clarkson.

Oh, yeah.

And she was right next to you.

I did it for her. I was like, that was crazy.
Isn't it scary, right? Wait a minute, she was right next to you? Three feet away. And you're doing Gwen with Gwen? Yeah, yeah.
Oh, wow. I told her, yeah, this old bit I had of like, when I'm in my car and no doubt comes on the radio, I get into my Gwen impression, which is a dangerous impression to do behind the wheel, you know,

because it's a lot of, yeah.

For a long time.

And she liked it.

And that was, that was pretty cool.

I saw on that and I was like, Oh my God, she's going to do it right.

First of all

gwen is stunning gwen is uh super talented and uh a sweetheart seems i've briefly met her but i like that she keeps her hair platinum blonde and then wears bright red lipstick she looks great all very potent look she's a great sport about it yeah and she loved it and she was sitting right there and what a blast, but definitely ups the nerves.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, because I... and she loved it and she was sitting right there and um what what a blast but definitely ups the uh nerves yeah because i i feel like i've done my impression for j-lo that was frightening because that's j j-lo is another one you know you're like what and i think she was like no no baby i don't i don't think so no See I love it when I love it when just that

Yeah yeah

You know like I don't think so, no. See, I love it when just that.
Yeah, yeah. You know, like I don't even know where I've heard J-Lo.
I mean, I've seen her interviews, but it's like so perfectly encapsulates. And that's the fun of impressions.
A little hook, whatever that is. There is her.
Yeah, yeah, no. So just a sidebar, what do you think? Affleck, are they, I mean, I wish them all the best.
It's Jennifer Lopez Bennett. Do you want to go on and see if you can trend by having an opinion about it? Oh, I think I'm all for it, you know, but that.
Me too. I wish everyone the best.
That special was pretty funny. I thought it was a standup special, but I had the billboards of J-Lo.
What was it? Documentary. Yeah, what was it called? My Time Now.
This is me now. This is me now.
Everyone's like, I know. I kind of like doing like dramatic J-Lo, you know? Like, no, you can't.
Like the movie Enough when she fights back. I saw Enough.
Every movie I see, I think that's happening. Yeah, because there's another one like called Still Enough.
I've had enough. Almost Enough.
Because every poster I see, I go, she has another movie out and she's on Instagram. She looks, and there's no hate.
It's like, she looks beautiful every day, but give us 24 hours off. Yeah.
I mean, that's, that's a little, that's how I feel. I'm like, let's go away and let us miss you.
That's what Lauren told me. Um, they can't miss you if you don't go away.
I was like, Oh, that was like a big life lesson about showbiz. And, uh, he brings out, it's on a, like a 10 commandments tablet it's number three they can't miss you if you won't go away he has a venn diagram here's where you are here's where people want to see you in your head yeah but the continuum of the personality okay flat wisdom wisdom alert potentially observation alert yeah we're all have some range of, just even have gotten on Saturday Night Live.
And then there's drive and there's super drive. And then there's certain people.
And again, to your point, it's not hate. It's not even a criticism.
It's oxygen to them. More, more, more.
And it makes you very wealthy. I mean, you're kind of an extroverted introvert or an introverted extrovert.
You think, I mean, I've listened to some of your interviews or, or a little bit shyer than some other comedians. Yeah.
I think I'm pretty introvert. Like I, I have trouble, even at the show, I had trouble kind of speaking up when there's just so much going on.
I'm like, I get so overwhelmed. I don't know where to fit.
And then I'd rather just hide away. I don't know how to get in, you know? So like the writer's room and Pete Davidson's coming in, everyone's laughing and yelling, you know, like, it's like a big, and then you just go back to your kid.
Yeah. But I, you know, the second season when Steven Castillo joined the writers, he's still there, too.
And he his mind, he's such a hilarious, silly guy. And I was like, oh, now this is what I'm talking about.
And we got our office together and we wrote the dying Miss Gomez sketch where I'm the old lady singing Nickelback as my last words. Yes.
Can we get a little of that? Yeah. Yeah.

Never made it as a wise man.

I couldn't cut it as a poor man.

That's her.

She's dying.

That was it.

She's on her deathbed.

She sounds like.

Yeah, that was why it was a stand up bit of mine.

And that's that's what I want to say.

The last words in the family is like, what the heck?

Here's here's mine. I love the silliness and the simplicity of that.
Danny, here's my Nickelback guy. Look at this photograph.
Wait, actually, give me those pills first. I don't feel good.
I'm dizzy. I'm trying to make those my last words, but then I get scared and I got to take my pills.
I see. Could have done it as a man.

I want to sing.

I'm going to try to become more of a singing.

People pretend to hate Nickelback, but they rock it out.

Oh, they do.

Yeah.

Same with Creed.

I love all of those guys.

I feel like they'll wind up in like a Deadpool.

With eyes wide open.

Just that song alone is such a catchy anthem.

Yeah. Do you ever do them? Can you take me higher to a place where blind men see? Blind men see? That's how high? That's fucking high.
That's high, man. I've never been that high.
I got to get on space. You got to get high, high, high.
So I want to ask you a question, a technical question. We can, we can pin bog.
When you do a singing impression of someone, then you have to inhabit the way they create that sound. Like you hold your mouth.
And so you kind of know how they get to those notes in a way, right? Yeah, I guess so. I think like, you know, even going back to Gwen, it's like she's making a little face the whole time.
And I think that does help the impression. And she kind of constricts her throat a little bit.
Yeah. How does she even do that? Because her voice was so unique when I saw her doing Just a Girl.
I'm like, I'm just a girl in the world. And I'm like, and that's's all but she can also kind of blast it out but in that same kind of high pitch i was like god damn i don't know nothing on music and i thought holy she plus she was so adorable i saw her at k-walk weenie roast with corn and uh i said i like how you you oh this is the I go, I like how you sing, but also you ham it up out there.

My friend goes, why are you telling her that?

I go, I don't know.

Ham it up?

Ham it up? Because she kind of jumps around, you know what I mean?

She jumps around.

An international pop star with great physical moves is hamming it up?

I know, it was wrong.

And she's like, yeah, I like how you ham up your corny act. I'm like, thank you.
I thought it was a compliment. No, I swear to God, I said it.
We walked away and my buddy goes, well, that went south quick. I go, well, I don't know what I said.
He goes, oh, everyone else does. You said ham it up.
And I'm like, did her face drop? Well, it was, it was right after I'm Just a Girl was a a hit it was the weenie roast where it's just like she was newer they were an orange county band and it was down in orange county and and you're famous at this yeah i thought i was a big fucking deal and i'm like hey like i thought i was clive davis you know i was like walking around like anyone gave a fat fuck what i said and i'm like corn thumbs up, thumbs up. They're like, ooh, thanks.
Just got the Midas touch from whoever this guy is. Is that a Joe Dirt cap behind you, David? Oh, that old thing? Yeah.
Oh, I try to get it out of frame. Heather, throw that in the garbage.
Yeah. This is a set.
I love set It's called It's called Boring Podcast Background

And it's just at a local

God, Dana's is at a 10 out of 10

For $100 a day

You get to do a podcast from this room

And it's so nondescript

It doesn't really exist

It just doesn't

But someone might come through that door

I like the tension of a door

That anyone could come through that door

Dana's is

He said, give me Jeff Bezos

I'm going to go to the next one. Someone might come through that door.
I like the tension of a door that anyone could come through that door.

Dana says, he said, give me Jeff Bezos.

First six months of Amazon office.

Look, just nothing.

Just a door, a desk.

I thought Jeff Bezos, you know, cause I follow him.

He's on a boat off the coast of Sardinia most of his life.

And I thought he was peak jacked. He's jacked.

I don't know. Follow him.
I like how we switch over. He's on a boat off the coast of Sardinia most of his life.
And I thought he was peak jacked. He's jacked.
He's so jacked. If he gets more jacked, he's going to explode.
Really? Guess what? He just got more jacked. He got jacked her? A little bit more.
Yeah. How? And she got bigger lips.
I thought she can't do more lip filling. It's impossible.
Everything's going bigger on that boat. She did.

Everything is getting large.

You know, they have a full medical center on that boat.

So she can get plastic surgery.

She can get whatever she wants.

I get nervous they're going to pop.

I saw a pommel horse on top where the helicopter usually is.

And Bezos is like, doosh, doosh, doosh.

I'm like, oh my God, he's going to go in the Olympics.

Yeah, he's doing the 200 free.

And Jeff Bezos, surprisingly, in third place today at the Olympics. All right, white male rage update.
Sorry. I'm just throwing out more for classic bits.
Dude, that was all Bulla. He wrote that.
That's all right. Bulla is a great writer.
Isn't he amazing? That was so much fun. Yeah.
Dan Bulla. Dan Bulla.
Quiet Dan Bulla with his good ideas. I thought he was so quiet and unassuming.
I thought he was just Sandler's piano player. I didn't even know that he wrote all this stuff.
But we know now. So what was that one? Tell me it.
It was when the Oscars, I think it was all white males winning, right? And then he came up with this really good jingle. It was like, white male rage, white male rage.
And I dressed in like a gold outfit. I think Steven also helped on that one too.
Yeah. And it just was a, it was just so catchy.
It's like, white male rage, white male rage. Joaquin Phoenix, white male rage.
Oh, what was it? Was it because they weren't, white men weren't winning enough at the Oscars or something? It was, I think cause it was all the characters in every movie. It was, everyone had rage.
I think the Joker time. And then there was Joker is always in a bed.
Uh, I think it was the mafia movie too. That, um, De Niro, that long.
Remember? Oh, the Irishman. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
What male rage? What male rage? Well, does anyone think that maybe Joaquin, who is brilliant, I mean, the first guy to smear the lipstick, because I've seen all the Jokers all the way back to the 60s. All the way back.
Cool, nice, tight lipstick. Nice and perfect.
Heath Ledger, God rest his soul, genius, comes out, smears it, first one. And Joaquin smears it.
Will we ever have a full beautiful lipstick joker kylie jenner lip kit or will always denote crazy i'm a crazy joker look at my smeared lipstick if you got any doubts about it yeah if you watch a poster you go that guy's crazy i don't know why I went into that, Karen. I like it.
Yeah, look at the lips. I'm crazy.
The lips are weird.

I'm crazy. I don't know why I went into that category.
I like it. Yeah, look at the lips.
I'm crazy. The lips are weird.
I'm crazy. I want to get you in prosthetics in a film doing something because of your chameleon personality.
Wouldn't you love to do something like that? Yeah, I would love that. I think that would be great.
Were you on there with Sarah Sherman? She's a hilarious weirdo. Yeah.
She's after, right? Or did you overlap with Sarah? Just that last, my last season. Yeah.
Yeah. Oh, you were? Yeah.
Yeah. She's a quirky kick in the pants.
Oh man. It's a great summary.
She's so good. She's on tour right now.
And I now and i see videos from it i go sarah are you okay i'm flying out there she's a kick in the pants it's not straight stand-up it's a super fun she is way more interesting than my show i'll give you that one yeah someone i know just got engaged in and it's a. It's a big one.
It's the next step in a relationship, and that's why they have a thing called an engagement ring. What was the Beyonce song? You should have put a ring on it.
Oh, yeah. Pay attention to that.
And we know how you can get a nice ring, right? You go to Blue Nile. Blue Nile, your engagement ring shopping spot.
You got the shape. They got the size, setting, cut, color.
It's all very confusing, but you need someone to help walk you through it. That's the place to go.
It is confusing, but they make it simple is what I'm going to say. Yeah, you go there and they clear it up because I don't know what I'm doing.
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BlueNile.com. You know, Dana, I saw Mindy Kaling the other night at this little shindig.
And it made me think she does a Masterclass. You know, that's one of our sponsors.
And it reminded me, Masterclass can really help you. Like, they have great people on there.
Oh, absolutely. You know what I mean? That's a great site.
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And you can it by phone you can do it by your computer smart tv just or even audio but they have people like uh big stars mindy kaling teach about comedy find your inner truth of rupaul we got amy poehler doing some improv i mean it's great stuff yeah they're great great. I love the way they're laid out.
They're all like eight, 10 minute videos. It's part of the class.
Very simple. You see the person.
Yeah. Develop your comedic voice.
Mindy Kalen would absolutely be great at that. The classes make a difference.
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So, okay, just say one word. We'll play this game.
Yeah, let's play this one. And we know a lot, he's Mikey Day.
A brilliant mind. That's two words.
You can go a whole sentence, you can do a sentence. I was gonna, I thought he was very sweet.
Yeah, he's really sweet and he's so cool how he makes everyone score and win. And he's such a great writer, he's so good.
And he wrote the dirty talk sketches for me, him and Streeter. I don't know if you saw the dirty talk.
Donald Glover. Yeah.
You did one with him. Aziz.
Yeah. That was.
That was fun. That was a funny, funny take where Glover was trying.
David, pay attention. I'm circling things.
I was trying to get sexy with, with Melissa in Melissa in bed. And then you just didn't get it or something? Yeah, yeah.
It was like, talk dirty to me. And I was like, yeah, you make no money.
Or like, yeah, all right, dad. Don't call me dad.
It was just like, I kept getting it all wrong. It was really fun.
Yeah, come on, man. Childish Gambino or Donald Glover? I don't know why why dirty talk i did a bit in this one with my stand-up just the rhythm of it always when people stand up so i did it like what are you gonna do huh huh you like that what is what where did that come from what what are you what are you gonna do you're gonna get it get it's kind of aggressive.
Yeah, that's funny. Let's form our own sketch show.

And I'm like, no, these are rhetorical.

Don't answer.

What are you going to do?

Do you like that?

And she goes, yes.

I go, I said, don't answer.

These are rhetorical.

That's how I ruin it.

It's that math, that chess genius guy comes out in the worst possible time.

Meep, spelling bee. Cecily Strong.
Was she there? Oh, Cecily? Yeah, you guys did some stuff together. So talented.
I love doing singing bits with her, too. She's such a great singer, too.
Oh, really? Yeah. Yes, but there's only one Melissa.

Sorry, you do sing great. There's a new sheriff

in town and she has a

microphone. Run away.

Pitchless singer.

Pitchless?

I don't know. I made that.
I like that.

Pitchless.

Who's nicer?

Aidy Bryant or Vanessa Bayer? Oh, man. You're both sweet.
You're both sweet. Yeah.
That's an answer. Who's nicer? No.
Who could beat up? Who could win in a fist fight? Pete Davidson or Leslie Jones? Leslie. Leslie.
I know. We had Leslie on.
She was so funny. She almost beat you up, Dana.
Oh my God. The best.
She beat me up through the Zoom. I actually was bruised.
What about Owen Wilson? Hey, give us a little bit of Owen. Do you have a little one handy? Yeah, I am right here.
It's great to be here. I feel like a fly on the wall most of my days most of my days see the interesting thing about melissa's is like you form your mouth to like how his mouth goes yeah yeah you make you make a you visually make a your lord yeah are you the same dana like or and david too i know you do impressions oh yeah but um do you like see their face on your face? Does that happen? Uh, too.
I know you do impressions. Oh, yeah.
But do you like to see their face on your face? Does that happen? For me, that's how I feel. I guess so.
I mean, yeah. I don't know.
I've never really practiced in the mirror much. Yeah.
I just sort of like, but if you take on the persona, like when I was doing Carson, I just automatically, you know know i didn't have to look in the mirror it just was oh yeah you could feel it yeah just i picture them in my head their face and what they're doing and i just try to talk like i'm and get it close what that is but my face is probably doing what i think they're doing just naturally yeah yeah that That's what happens. I think that's what happens to everybody.

I did Owen once.

I don't even do Owen that well, but when I hosted, they assigned me Owen.

So it was more of a funny look, and I love Owen.

We just had Luke on this, and Luke sounds a lot like Owen.

It's almost just a different tone, but it's that same cadence.

It's kind of slowly talking.

Yeah, yeah. Maybe enunciating.
Right, Dana? It was kind of like that. Luke was hilarious.
Yeah, I mean, I actually coincidentally had dinner with Owen, once with Lorne Michaels, and then once with Kevin Nealon, and it came up in conversation, and he didn't like when people did him. And, I said, okay, I won't do, you know? Yeah.
I remember he hosted and I, I asked him if we could do the Owen impression together. And he was like, I feel like it's done.
You know, I feel like people it's over. You know, he was, he didn't want to do it.
I like sad Owen. Like, yeah.
You know, I got a couple of sub scenes. couple of you doing on one of the clips I was watching, doing like sort of quick impressions.
Maybe it was part of the TED talk. I'm not sure.
But you were doing just like, here's this person doing this. And I always love that technique.
I do it, too. It's just fun.
Like, yeah, like a quick one, you know, like Kristen Wiig skydiving um i changed my mind i'm i'm scared i'm scared um who would do kristin wiggs great even though she's that's yeah yeah oh i remember having a bit it's like sandra bullock if she knocked over a bunch of dominoes that were lined up in the room and she just hits it and goes no no no no no no no no and that's it she always has a little breakdown like that in movies you know it's funny because you got a picture like Kristen Wiig which Kristen Wiig because she does impressions she plays different characters so what's the one that makes sense that resonates and that one did resonate with me but the the announcement of the premise is funny to me like in other words you saying this person doing this person's already funny like this is the you ever have bits in your act that get a laugh that you feel it doesn't deserve that big a laugh you're like i do john travoltavolta, John Travolta going way back, John Travolta as a 15th century astronomer. So already it's like, why? And he's like, you know, you know, I don't know.
I think the earth could be round or some shit, you know, and the laugh is so much bigger. It's like kind of quasi bad comedy is sometimes I best comedy.
It's true though because you don't want to overthink it. I get caught in that loop of overthinking bits and I'm like, no, no, no, the dumber the better.
And for me too, I have more fun. Go ahead.
I had this bit. I like when it does personally connect to me a little bit.
So there is some grounding, but I was, yeah, this new bit of it's again, it's dumb, but it makes

me laugh. It's like, um, cause I do vocal warmups before my shows.
Cause I sing a lot. And there was

a couple of weeks ago, I was in the green room and I was practicing. I was getting high up there,

you know, and I was getting high and I got so high that I farted and other comics around. I was like, oh damn, I could never just be a hot for one moment, you know? And I thought that if I was like, do other singers go through this? You know, does Ariana get up there just.
And people, and she, and people are like, Oh damn, Ari, was that you? Yeah. I guess I'm a dangerous woman.
You know, I did a variation of that. The idea is that someone is at their, the peak of their ego and power and they're really doing fantastic.

And then the chair is pulled out.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I did a kid's movie called master disguise.

And I said,

they said,

you need to,

you have to have a fart joke.

So I came up with that thing.

A big,

big,

big laugh.

What was it?

Walk us through it.

Whenever the bad guy would laugh and he'd be with someone, he'd be like, Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha one. And it was all about the silence.
Yeah, the plan is working. So I came up with a fart joke that made me laugh because I said, you need a fart joke? Don't really have one.
That's great. I like that one.
I love that. Pull that one out.
And now it's yours. You can say, you can use it this way.
You know, I was on a podcast with Dana Carvey and David Spade, and they were talking about fart chokes this is after you do this one and he used to do this one bad guy and so you just lean on it as a friend because it's not part of my act but now you can use it if you want as a tag thanks do you want to try it out yeah i'll try it out thanks take it out to uh do it on bow and yang's podcast do it on bow was he there when you were there yeah that's a fat cast and 2022 and then you uh by the way you did snl during the pandemic which and then and then was that the beginning of the end yeah that was challenging but there There was one that I had, because remember the video game? I don't know if you play games, but Animal Crossing was a big game during the pandemic. And so I was playing, I've been a longtime fan of that game.
And Mikey Day and I made a sketch where we're playing online, our characters in my town, and everyone wants me to die from COVID in the game. And he did such a good job.
That's the thing. He's just so good at the timing and the jokes.
And I owe a lot of thanks to him for helping me so much. Especially during that.
I didn't come from sketch writing. And you guys, you were standing up.
was just, the first time I did a sketch, like on a stage like that was at Saturday Night Live when I got the show. So I didn't, same with David, all stand-ups.
Yeah. Yeah.
So that's where it was always so, such a struggle to write. I was like, I don't know how.
It's hard to write. Eventually I learned by observing and and you know how other people do but it's

like people like heidi that came from like she she arrived there and just wrote three in one night i was like but she came from that training from ground it was just really yeah and they come in with a lot of sketches that they did yeah yeah literally ready for television yeah Do you have to work on it?

Cheating.

No, I had it.

What about Miley Cyrus?

Have you ever seen her sing in real life like have you seen her somewhere yeah i think i think at the show she oh was she on i love she's so good oh yeah it really is man i had a wrecking ball didn't she once you on a wrecking ball at one point Oh, yeah. It really is.
I got a wrecking ball. Didn't she want to see you on a wrecking ball at one point? Oh, yeah.
That was a big one. I'm coming like a wrecking ball.
That one? Yeah. Yeah.
What about when she did, you won't know this one, but she did Like a Prayer. I saw her live in one of her concerts, like a stadium concert.
And it was better than Madonna's There I Said It.

Yeah, There I Said It.

She's good.

And I like Madonna's Like a Prayer.

But I think I just, she had a cowboy hat on, Miley,

and she came out like a Young Guns duster.

And she fucking wails on every line.

I'm like, I would black out.

She's like, I was like, whoa. Yeah, she's good.
I'm like whoa yeah she's good i'm gonna do i'll do impressions i'll do her yeah do it yeah i will i i mean my impressions were about one a year but the problem with snl is you just get assigned stuff and they go you read a sketch and read through and you're like in three pages i have to do you know alec baldwin you're like i do and they're like. Did they assign you stuff, Melissa, like that? I mean, because that is weird to go.
It would happen. Yeah, for sure it would happen.
I think my favorite moment of this happening was, so I remember when Sandler hosted, and there was a Sandler family reunion sketch. That's funny.
And at the table read, I wasn't originally in it, which is like,

why'd you write me in this? I mean, you know, but they had, they were like,

Hey, the writers were like, Hey,

can you read as water boy on behalf of Kristen Wiig?

Cause she's going to play water boy. So I was like, yeah, sure.

I'll read it. And I did it so good at table.
Cause I'm like,

that's my favorite, you know? And Lauren was was like yeah maybe keep melissa as water boy and i was like so then so do you just have you did you work on that at all you just had it no i had it because i've always loved water boy yeah go ahead sorry that's my dog that's my dog if you're yeah sandler's uh kind of whatever that rhythm he does with the characters that are not too smart. He does the thing with his mouth.
I saw a movie where you played someone that looked just like me. I saw it on a big old screen.
I said, hey, that's me up there now. No wonder it made $300 million.
What did they do with KW? Did they kick her some other impression? she played the mom character i think from his um cds or something back and like they're gonna make fun of you they're all gonna laugh at you yeah they're all gonna laugh at you yeah i should show her that bit that yeah that was so fun they're all gonna laugh at you was uh is that the album up on the wall that's an album they're gonna laugh at this sandler boy or they're just all gonna laugh it's actually from i think it was borrowed from carrie the movie carrie where she was gonna go to school and they go they're all gonna laugh at you and uh he did it as a sketch with smigel and he kept saying they're all gonna laugh at you and we were all cracking up the table the table. So just kept singing over and over.
Oh, I'm going to laugh at you. And then he had an album called that.
And then we did, I have a poster of all of us recording one of the albums. We just did little bit parts.
But definitely the fun of Sandler's being on those albums when the albums were doing something. And they would go gold or something.
You know what I mean? You go, holy got an album one more thing yeah it's great would you ever um i don't think you'd want to do this but it it's interesting that you could do a show in vegas i'm not saying you should do it but danny gans was danny gans of all people i know it's like you go on you you have the orchestra, you're funny. Right.
You do stand up. You pretty much can do every major pop star, which people love seeing.
Yeah. I don't know.
I'm just saying if you ever were bored and wanted to just go out and live in Vegas for a year. Yeah.
It would work. I would totally be down.
You do really? Oh, and introducing Gwen Stefani. And then you do do Gwen Stefani then you do some of your stand-up and then you go into another song you do Jennifer Lopez you come out as Melissa and you do five minutes about you and yeah like on your TED talk was really funny how you just worked it all all full circle yeah it was 12 minutes long and at the end it was kind of poignant you know just um all right so it's done deal that vulnerability done deal tell vegas we're doing it hello vegas um hey uh can i do my show please and i can i do your favorite one to do is dolly right dolly yeah i do like dolly of positivity? Yeah, yeah.
That was a bit I had in the TED Talk, too. It's such a good voice, because my voice sounds sarcastic.
I don't believe me when I say positive affirmations. When I go, I am.
I'm smart, yeah. But Deere and Dolly go, I'm so smart.
I'm lovable. I am capable.
I will always love me. Yeah, that was, that was, and that was the, that update was the same format as the Gaga one where it's me just admiring them, loving them so much that I dress like them.
And that nice balance of being myself, but also doing the impression and singing. And I was like, I loved doing those.
That was so fun. David, I don't know if you know this about me, but I've always been a fan of exploring new places, not like you, kind of, you know, no offense.
And one of my best trips listen up is when i stayed at an airbnb felt like i was living like a local with all the space comfort of home you know hotels can be a hassle room service and then the housekeeper housekeeping it's a hassle so then you go to airbnb and you can get whatever you want a little cottage this and that it's fantastic you have your own separate space so it's a great product for people who travel david yes i have friends doing one of these right now if you have a home you can airbnb it it's fantastic i mean um to to monetize your home when you're not there seems like a good idea i mean look i'm on the road a lot i could probably do it it's it's something that people can do when they travel they have extra space or you're at a place not full-time you come in the winter you leave in the summer so that's something you should think about it's a way to get some extra money and uh it's a cool experience your home might be worth more than you'd think yep find out how much at airbnb.com slash host omaha omaha dana that's what peyton manning used to yell out oh yeah omaha stakes did he yell stakes too i don't know maybe i don't know omaha stakes you know david you may not know this delivers the world's best steak experience brings people together more than 100 years of family expertise as get this america's original butcher yeah listen everyone's heard of omaha steaks yeah they got their legendary filet mignons their extra age to maximize tenderness i like a good tender filet. I don't, sometimes I get these and they're just rough, but these guys take pride in this.
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That's 50% off at omastakes.com and an extra $30 off with promo code fly at checkout. You know, I heard, uh, I don't know where I'm going to tie up forever, but I heard Gaga on a show, maybe it was stern and she was doing edge of glory

i didn't really know the song and i was like god damn she's good because she was just doing it

with nothing she's like i'm on the edge the end and i was like in my car going oh shit

is that that's a good that's not the one you do though right

uh the gaga update was like i did the shallow because that movie yeah oh that's so big it's a funny song in a way yeah because of the shaha hollow in the shot yeah yeah rhythm you know um have you seen the video of her doing it read through at a stars born read through

wait she's doing it with the whole cast is doing a read through and yeah yeah yeah i did see that

she's by bradley cooper and he she sings it everyone's like holy shit whoa the chemistry

how i did a cheesy stand-up bit about that because i had i've frequently mike myers was at the oscars

that year wanted me to come he was he was there for bohemian rhapsody so i was in the third row with my wife and i saw you know gaga and bradley cooper up there and you there was no lighting under the piano but i had a view to what was going on where who was reaching for what in what? In the shallows, yeah, ah, ah. I had you going, but the truth of the story, I did have a view, and I thought they were, you know, lovers, just for my blink.
I know, it's pretty nice. So you, just quickly, not to, you said that you had panic attacks.
So we've had on the show, Bill Hader, well, I was surprised,

just said really intense panic attacks, like crazy.

I said, even the last season could seem like he was just so loose,

but so did we all battled mental health issues in a sense of just the

pressure of the show and stuff.

And then you wrote a book about it basically. Yeah.
Whoops, I'm awesome. I do a lot of drawings on the side, and they're funny and also heartfelt.
So I put them together in a book about how do you get to that silly side of yourself when you get so serious or so caught up in it. And so I separate, you know, but yeah, I think I, I was just too much in my head.
I was like, I had, I think I, I just remember there was one, one time at a table read, like the break and I was, I couldn't, I don't, I don't remember how I got there, but it was, I was kind of running through the halls, like panicking and I couldn't catch my breath. And I was like, and people were like, Whoa, are you? And I couldn't, I don't know.
I didn't know where I was or something. It was too much.
I think I don't know how that felt. What season was that? How long? That was the last season.
Yeah. yeah yeah and it was still kind of like you know

because even anyone even if you were able to manage it you still there is some sense of relief when you walk away even though there's nostalgia and this is this is now behind me because you know with lauren he would just and you know he was like the coach and you know do you have any new characters or are you just going to stick with the church lady you know how he gives you a little nudge so you feel like i would worry about the show like are we doing well but david passed out pretty much every other read through just completely passed out no i pretend i was passed out because i wasn't in sketches so i go i couldn't be in anyway because i'm asleep so i just lay down on the table no that was just low blood sugar no i did have that problem but uh i was so stressed out of my fucking gourd i couldn't see straight but also my hair got brown i only had a white blonde hair my whole life and I'd never been anywhere where it wasn't sunny whoa and I'm like and and you know New York sunny 10 minutes a day right when it's noon and it comes through the buildings yeah and it's and it's noon you're just inside yeah it's shadowy again so I'm like getting like no sun in my body no vitamin D no one's drinking water no one. No one's eating healthy.
It's all pasta and pizza. It's all popcorn in Lauren's office.
That was the main thing. He has the best popcorn.
Yes. The best.
Everything Lauren has is the best. We have good popcorn.
Lauren has the best water. My socks.
You get them at Heathrow Airport. Dude, if there's an earthquake, that would be my safe room.
I got to climb into Lauren's office. Yeah.
The whole movie would be me getting into Lauren's office to get, like, lifesavers. Let's put up the titanium shell, shall we? No blasts when we get through it.
No cast members. No feature players.
Would you like some sushi? Do you want a hand roll? Yeah. Press a button.
But how did you, like, that, you know, Bill Hader talked to it. You talked to it.
So now that when you are away from it, are you better? Are you? I do feel, I feel great. Yeah.
Yeah. And I, but I also want to still keep working on, I'm a people pleaser.
Are you guys as comedians? I have such a, I want to be as strong as these other comedians and performers where it's like you get, you just push through and still stay true to yourself. I think I, I, I, well, I had the need to please disease or it's still a naturally organic thing for me, but I had two personalities the other side of me was really competitive so one time i was in this club and you know there's sort of these alpha comics they're not necessarily funny but they scare the audience and they're getting laughs like just really loud hulking yeah what the fuck you know what the fuck look at this fucking guy in the front row and everyone's like yeah they were kind of laughing at me.
Yeah, look at this fucking guy. What are you going to gurgle? Who are you going to fuck? Right, right, right.
So those guys were kind of giving me, you know, because I had little boys, paid a haircut, and I looked 12, you know. And they were kind of giving me a little soft, a little bit of shit, you know.
Like, you know, kind of laughing at me a little bit. So I said, okay t you know kind of laughing me a little bit so i

said okay okay i'm going to get multiple standing ovations so i always love it when i come off the stage and i and i the guy was really cocky and kind of giving me attitude i see the fear in their eyes their eyes get real big that's what i live for when i when i just hurt their very being so I have a passive aggressive people

please

but for when I just hurt their very being. I have a passive-aggressive people

pleasing side of the gas.

But

on the show,

the people I hooked up with on a regular

basis, I don't mean sexually, but I had

Mike Myers was my

partner, and so I

played Garth. I love doing

Garth. I love that

like Tom Hanks said, sometimes it's great

to be the guy next to the guy.

And then Hans and Franz was with

Thank you. I played Garth.
I love doing Garth. I love that.
Like Tom Hanks said, sometimes it's great to be the guy next to the guy. And then Hans and Franz was with Kevin Nealon, my good friend.
And then Phil Hartman with Johnny Carson. And so, and there, there was no competition.
It's just totally all of the stuff. Everyone's scoring.
Yeah. Yeah.
So how would you, how would it manifest yourself if you wanted to be more strident in the green room or where would it because you're just you just go you're the headliner you go on the club and i mean how would that how would that um like now what would it look like right now if you what are your i don't see what you're trying to become i mean more aggressive in the green room or with comedians? No, I think I just. It's probably less competitive now.
It's less competitive. Yeah.
And I find the people I love working with that feature for me. I am working bits on the road.
It's more fun, right? And even just, yeah, just the friends that help me be a better person and performer. That's what I want to just play and create stuff, you know?

Yeah. Cause the end of the day right now, it's you on the stage with your audience and everything

else is background.

Yeah.

Also, you know, you're going on because at SNL, you might have weeks you're not going

on.

So if you can go to a standup set, you're like, at least I'm getting 15 minutes or an

hour where I get to do it. So that's fun.
You get to write for it to have a beginning middle end and that's tough at snl if you're not in anything or you have two lines here and you're like i feel like i'm getting behind you know like it's all the same weird feelings yeah um i've been doing this um it's it makes a lot of sense for me but i've been doing it and you're welcome to do a set if you'd like, but I do a morning show now at 10 AM at a little theater in Altadena. It's called fresh coffee, fresh bits and everyone just does new bits and I bring coffee for the crowd.
Wow. That's a great idea.
Just get up, have coffee and then it makes, it makes so much sense. I told Taylor Thompson the other day, i was like it makes and she was like yeah that makes perfect sense because you're a good person because at comedy club she was like yeah comedians are horrible humans yeah well we're not great no no you guys are great i'm not saying no i know what you're saying though no i never i never hung out i mean there were people who really hung out.
And the comedians would hang out and go places and do this. And I'd have a few friends and stuff.
I wasn't antisocial. But I never really liked to be around, like, 15 comics hanging out.
Maybe one or two. But you, is this true? Like, you have fans and they call themselves Melissa Monsters? Little Melissa Monst melissa monster yeah that was after the gaga update but yeah i think i've just been leaning more into the place where it's kind of a little kinder and a little and i feel like my comedy it's that it's that you know i don't feel i feel like i when i go like after really comics, like you were saying that have, like, I don't know how to, but I'm trying to.

I know I'm a good performer and I have, but I just have a lot of, and it's, it's nice.

I tried to make sure it's joyful for myself too.

I think that's the operative word, you know, is, and you have a lot of well this sounds militaristic but you have a lot of weapons i mean the way you can throw your voice around instantly and you know at monologists you know um joke smiths you know they don't get to do like if i start to get into a rhythm as johnny carson some i'll go 10 or, you know, I don't care. Do you have any jokes? No, I'm just riding the wave.
But, you know, joke people and writers, I have so much respect for them. They need to have, like Dave Attell needs to have three or four punchlines a minute.
So his special was 35 minutes and it was fantastic. But boy, he had to set up punch and brilliant turns, you know, but people like you, you're a performer, you're out there, you're fluid, you're, you're, uh, and I, and I, and yeah, writing like, like punchlines and stuff.
That's a, that's, what's hard for me, but I try to meet with, like, I actually do write with Nealon and he helps me a lot with those, just those quick little,'s great yeah he's god damn he's so fast they're like how come I didn't see that you know he's one of the best that can do it yeah he's the best that a guy come out like okay yeah we're gonna get started here in a minute you know he's got the mic up really high and he's moving really slow and then um all right we're pretty much halfway Okay. He has all these funny.
I came out on lights out and he's sitting there. He's the panel.
You know, he's on the panel. And after three update jokes, he goes, David, what do you think you're going to wear tonight? And I go, I think I'm just going to go with this.
He goes, oh, okay. Keep going.
Yeah, he's got a million of those yeah it's just these throw away nothing things yeah all right good okay you know uh kind of yeah we love we love kevin but yeah it's good you and him are a pair but it's great you know when you're around friends and they're comedians and um you can tag each other's stuff or hey you could maybe do that or you know

when you're just out to dinner with a few of them and stuff so yeah neiland he's also just a very nice person good guy you know but you can be a nice person and still win in show business case in point yeah yeah but um we all have doubts let's see passive aggressive and a people pleaser well my did you go to therapy because i i was in therapy for five years about oh yeah people pleasing oh yeah she's she's she said i was a people pleaser and i said god that's a great observation that's who said you're a therapist i got it that's good is that your closer she said you have add ADD, she said you have ADD. I go, look, a butterfly.
I got to tie my shoe. Is that your closer? She said you have ADD.

She said you have ADD.

I go, look, a butterfly.

I got to tie my shoe.

What'd you say?

Oh, boy.

She said I was passive aggressive.

I said, well, you've known me for a couple of weeks.

I've known me for 60 years, but you're probably right.

Anybody, is this on?

It's turned into a chunk, Melissa.

No, I know.

I know.

Now, I think i got distracted because david where are you i'm in a i'm in a cell this this is no i'm just looking at the skateboards and then there's like little nails on the wall were you hanging something there before Yes Good off. Good off the Columbo.
This is dark green, but it looks light green. And we're having a problem with that.
And then people at home can turn off the show now. But also I had, you know, it was up there.
It was that picture. Well, anyway, I had a picture up there, but it reflected too much.
And then it was a big thing. And then I said, why not just more me and less background goofiness so well if you move your laptop down will you be more centered in the frame or greg no i go like this there's bruce lee of course on a skateboard and melissa has a really nice tight frame well she knows what she's doing i'm new at this sorry 200 shows in.
Don't be jealous. Jesus.
It's for the ladies. I look blurry too.
Everything's gone wrong on my end. I'm going to jump off.
Melissa, thank you. It was great talking to you.
Thank you guys. Congratulations on your six years on SNL.
Honestly, only on that. Congratulations on your six years.
Well, and then the rest of your life. I see Melissa at the improv sometimes, and I followed her last time.
Yeah. Remember? See, this shit's happening out there, Dana.
I love it. We're out there fist bumping.
I mean, the great trying to catch the wind of the arts, in essence, is that you're always trying to write your best bit, have your best show. And that never ends.
And that's why you can't ever climb comedy mountain and get to the very top. So it's this elusive, cool thing.
And you seem to be on that journey, ladies and gentlemen, you know, but you know, just, just trying to find here's my skillset. Here's who I am.
And I can go anywhere I want with my eyes. So anything positive to end with

David or are you going to go out cranky? No, she's tired. I'm cranky.
Yes. I'm getting in here with

the interior decorator. We're going to move the nail.
You need to make sure you eat. I'm going to

move the nails around and put them in different spots. No, I didn't mean it.
It looks fine and

you could keep it. Okay.
That skateboard says Jack Spade. That was my brother's company.
Okay. Well, I'll write you an email with the rest of this.
You guys, thank you so much. Enjoy this so much.
Thank you, Melissa. Thank you, guys.
Thank you. Have a good day.
Bye. Hola.
This has been a presentation of odyssey

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fly on the wall is executive produced by dana carvey and david spade

jenna weiss berman of odyssey and heather santoro

the show's lead producer is greg holtzman