Julie Bowen IN STUDIO !!!
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Transcript
Speaker 1 Hey, David, when it comes to gifting, you know, I've learned there are two types of presents. Okay.
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Speaker 1
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Speaker 1
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The packaging is beautiful.
Speaker 1
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That's perfect if you're a last-minute shopper like me. That's right.
Speaker 1
I mean, I just want to do this when I hear that. Way to go.
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Speaker 1 Without trying too hard, David, not talking about you.
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Speaker 1
You know, when it gets colder, I always fall in the same trap. Heavy meals, too much takeout.
And suddenly I'm like, why do my jeans hate me? I know. Yeah, me too.
Speaker 1
I mean, I'll open the fridge in December and it's like half a pizza and an orange from 1997. Not a lot of healthy options, David.
But here's the thing: staying on track doesn't have to be impossible.
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It's about time.
Speaker 1 I'd rather spend 30 minutes working on a bit for my hilarious act than 30 minutes staring into my oven going,
Speaker 1 is this thing even on? Right?
Speaker 1 This is that one little thing that keeps you sane during the cold months. No stress, no junk, just done.
Speaker 1
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Speaker 1
All right. That's forkfulmeals.com.
Code POD50.
Speaker 1
That's Pod50. Seriously, don't wait.
Your future self will thank you. Yes.
Thank you for not feeding me the leftover lasagna for the 12th time.
Speaker 2
Eventually she'll have kids and she's going to have to tuck her into her socks. And that is just true.
David loves marriage. marriage, yeah, and he has a long history.
Speaker 1 Go to a break. I need five minutes.
Speaker 1 Who did I have call you on your birthday? Do you remember that?
Speaker 2 Are you kidding me? Okay, Stevie Nix. He had Stevie Nix call me and see landslide into my
Speaker 2 answering machine in New York.
Speaker 2 Dumped me on the same answering machine.
Speaker 1 Okay.
Speaker 1
Hey, David. Can I ask you a question? Yeah.
We can. What happened? Yeah.
Speaker 1
I was, I went on the road. This is the new sort of format thing.
So here we are. We're doing this and it looks very similar.
We look the same. My hair's
Speaker 1 kind of at the helmet. Yeah.
Speaker 1 But
Speaker 1 the weekend for me, just right off the bat, while we settle in here, I went three tour dates, two in Arizona. So, by the way, one was 113.
Speaker 1
Tucson. 113.
The BO is such a different level. People People don't talk about it enough.
Speaker 1
When you get in the elevator with someone who's that sweaty, yeah, after 110, the BO, it reformulates and it's sickening. It's off the charts.
That's one thing.
Speaker 1
Arizona, when I went to Phoenix, that was a blast. My mom came.
Some friends came.
Speaker 1 Had such a good time.
Speaker 1 And
Speaker 1 also, I forgot everywhere in Scottsdale, someone's got a truck. So it's like, raptor.
Speaker 1
You know, you pull up next to someone and they're this high and they're like, a good, good, good, good, good, good, good. They are big.
Stepladder. Lift kit.
So it was a game show. Yeah.
Speaker 1 Everyone, every guy is trying to be cool, but girls don't like hummers, so they go right back to Raptor.
Speaker 1 Can I tell you what my, what I thought about when a guy has no muffler and he has a truck and he starts the car? What the car is really saying is, all right, I'll see you later.
Speaker 1 I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man,
Speaker 1
I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man. That's kind of how it is.
They got lifted up trucks, big tires. Hey, honey, I think I've got B.O.
Do you know where my tank top is?
Speaker 1 Because I like to go out in a tank top when I'm fully loaded. Yeah, dude, it was 117 in Scottsland together.
Speaker 1 It's so sickening. Anyway,
Speaker 1 the trip was fun.
Speaker 1
Turns out I didn't need to wear a sweater. I wore a sweater on stage.
They just brought it. I got on stage.
I was like,
Speaker 1 because you know, when you're in Arizona, if it's 117 out.
Speaker 1 They put the air conditioner on stun. So when you walk into a store or a mall, it's 41 and you need a defibrillator it's like dge
Speaker 1 you know what i mean it's so cold you're like this isn't good for the human body yeah
Speaker 1 too like
Speaker 1 the store that we have is like there's a beer source there's no go in there i mean it's a grocery store but they open up and it's a freezer full of beer and you walk into it. Oh, just a freezer?
Speaker 1
Yeah, just like 33 degrees and you're in there. I mean, I must be a little bit above freezing.
I'm going to ask you if this happens to you because it's kind of funny to me.
Speaker 1 So you go to a grocery store for a while and you're at Delhi or whatever and you go on the road, you're not there for a while. Do you get this a lot? Hey, where you been? We haven't seen you around.
Speaker 1
We're kind of traveling and working and doing. Yeah, but we hadn't seen you here for a while.
What's going on? Where you been? Where you been?
Speaker 1 Huh? Yeah. You ever get that? Where you been? I get it.
Speaker 1 Hey, I haven't seen you.
Speaker 1
Oh, here's I get the opposite. Used to come into my bar all the time.
I've been there once or twice. Same thing.
You were always here. Every second.
Yeah. God damn.
Don't you tell people?
Speaker 1
I was never here. And you would drink and drink and drink.
You were so boring. You were always fucked up.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 And you got the floor mopped with you by a couple guys one night. I think they were in
Speaker 1 dirt.
Speaker 1
You always shit your pants and wore an adult diaper and were registered independent. Always.
You remember that? Yeah. That's the thing.
This happens anyone.
Speaker 1 It's not because we've been on TV occasionally, where you meet some of your high school days and they can photographically tell you what you said in the 70s. I said to you, I like a Buick.
Speaker 1 And you said, I'll never forget it. You like Ford.
Speaker 1
I've told this story for 30 years. You're like, this isn't even true.
So you have to agree that's what you said?
Speaker 1
You saw a bird and said, well, per snickety doodle. Remember that? They go, you used to watch golf carts at the Phoenician, which I did.
And they go, you were always cracking jokes.
Speaker 1
I go, no, I wasn't. I didn't know any jokes.
Has the audience noticed that I'm using this voice for every company bid today i don't know why it kind of works just kind of kind of fun where you been
Speaker 1 where you been v-neck going today you look like you're going to sing in a choir no because it was a new memory it's a new setup it's a new day and so i said i gotta i gotta dress up like at least the beginning and then i'll go back to looking like shit but
Speaker 1 i know what i'm going your hair looks incredible by the way for the new show it's new hair yeah you know what i'm gonna get you for your birthday please It's going to go with this.
Speaker 1
You can wear it underneath. Yeah.
A dicky. Do they know what a dicky? Dickie is a mock turtleneck for the people out in TV, Wonder Podcast.
Speaker 1 I bet even this shirt, like if it only came down to here, but as long as you put it on and then you see this part, it's all you really need. So someone invented a little.
Speaker 1 Do you pull the turtleneck on and then it's just like a half circle? Yeah, it's a little half thing. So if you didn't have anything else,
Speaker 1
you just wear the dickie and then you're all bare. I mean, this is what you do to make this cool.
And we could do it after the show. Yeah.
I get your sweater. I take a scissor.
Speaker 1
I just cut it short sleeve, both sides. It's kind of ragged.
And that is the look of two days. Yeah.
When girls, I used to wear them. They go.
Cut off. Is that a dickie? I go, no, this is.
Speaker 1
And then you go, okay, sir. You usually say wiener.
Now, dicky may be your new. Dickie may be the way you refer to your penis.
It used to be wiener for four years.
Speaker 1
No, wiener, I get a little wiener heavy. Some of these shows, I say it too much, but it is funny to me.
And it's very PG. Uh, it's very second, third grade.
Yeah, it's goofy, so it's not so offensive.
Speaker 1
Uh, no, it's very, it's very banal, good for corporate gigs. Uh, well, let's bring her out.
We got Julie Bowen here today, Julie Bowen. Excited to talk to her.
Speaker 1 We've had her on, and she was such a hit with good feedback that we're having her on our first show.
Speaker 1 Ladies and gentlemen,
Speaker 1 David Spade.
Speaker 2 Oh, I'm so sorry. Did we keep you waiting?
Speaker 1 They're hugging.
Speaker 1 They're hugging.
Speaker 1 Deep hug.
Speaker 2 What? Because it's a little bit of like a.
Speaker 2 What do you call that? A rascal? No, it's like a... What do you call that?
Speaker 1 Like the high photo thing?
Speaker 1 I think it's a mullet.
Speaker 2 Yeah, it's kind of like a mullet, but it's hipper.
Speaker 1 Julia, what is Mike looks like?
Speaker 2 Yeah, Julia. That's really not my job.
Speaker 1 David, first of all, I think that, but I never say it out out loud.
Speaker 2 This is for you.
Speaker 1 God damn.
Speaker 2
Two years ago, you got mad at me. You get mad at me every year for forgetting your birthday.
So I got you birthday presents two years ago that I haven't given to you.
Speaker 1 These aren't books, are they?
Speaker 2
Because you don't read. No.
No.
Speaker 1 I do have a book you gave me a long time ago, though. He reads one tweet at a time, right? I like how books look.
Speaker 2 Yeah, well, you know what? Then you'll like these.
Speaker 1 Am I opening them?
Speaker 2
No, you don't have to open them. You don't have to open them.
Is this for his birthday? It was for,
Speaker 2 I always forget his birthday because it's like sometimes it's a little bit more.
Speaker 1
You keep it real on the down low. You forget it because you're married.
I'm not married. I am divorced.
Oh, you were, but then you can forget it when you were.
Speaker 1
When you were divorced last time you were here. I'm still divorced.
You're still divorced.
Speaker 2 You keep getting divorced over and over again.
Speaker 1 Did you get married again and divorced? No.
Speaker 2 No, I did not.
Speaker 1 Who got more?
Speaker 1 Who got more divorced? Who got the money, him or her?
Speaker 2 How you doing, Dave?
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 2 How you doing, Dave?
Speaker 1 You don't have to answer any of my questions.
Speaker 2 how is uh one of you were on modern family at the time one one of us was okay this is true um there's your answer all right there you go um go ahead ask it ask dana a question i was gonna ask dana what it was like being um the most relevant person ever in the last year on s and out that was fun right i like that word relevant
Speaker 1 well you were
Speaker 1
it was interesting it was interesting It was interesting? That's your shortest answer. Relevant.
It was part of that. No, I'm gathering intellectually.
Let's see. It was surreal.
It was bizarre.
Speaker 1 It was
Speaker 1 at times a lot of fun.
Speaker 2 Do you now, now that you know that Biden is like severely diminished, do you feel any guilt or
Speaker 2 insight into your portrayal?
Speaker 1 Jesus. Well,
Speaker 1
this is really good. And we're going to reframe this podcast, the Julie Bowen podcast.
Now, she's going to
Speaker 1 flip it. No, those are great questions.
Speaker 1 She's better at it than we are.
Speaker 1 I knew that he was compromised mentally. I mean, it was obvious.
Speaker 1 But it was a delicate thing in the comedy world. There were a lot of people did not want to do anything that would kind of ding him in like an awkward way.
Speaker 2 But it's comedy.
Speaker 1 That's it. That's the key.
Speaker 2 If I can do Biden.
Speaker 1 That's the idea, but if I can make Biden funny to everybody, then I am where I want to be. And to make it funny, it had to be recognizable.
Speaker 1 And so there are certain things I did not include in my package. uh sorry you would do a sexual pun on that package package means wiener okay so i'm trying to set him up it's a little early wiener
Speaker 1 the biggest one the biggest one was this
Speaker 1 i'm not kidding around here i'm being serious
Speaker 1 so that was the biggest one for me but that was it was fantastic i like i think it's easier than to make fun of him if he's a president if it's just a 90 whatever year old man just go look at this asshole so once he's present then he's more fair to say but no one made fun of him forever no well the he's sort of neutral there wasn't a whole lot to until until he started doing like for real well they but they
Speaker 1 but no one did yeah no guess what
Speaker 1 and by the way the fact of the matter is sorry i'm not getting around here come on folks this isn't rocket science and then the whole i wrote the bill Because I know how to write bills.
Speaker 1 Write a bill faster than he's ever written a bill, wild bill, Hitcock, Alfred Hitchcock, three times the biological charm.
Speaker 1 Ladies and gentlemen, the leader of the free world.
Speaker 2 That is,
Speaker 2 I'm sorry, having watched SNL since I was a wee child, and yes, David, you know, I love you, but that it is so crazy when you do that.
Speaker 1
I love it. It's so fun.
I fell in love with it. It took me two years to kind of get it and get all the different toys, I call them, on the carpet and pick them up one at a time.
Two years.
Speaker 1 Well, because he kept stacking.
Speaker 1
Look, the first six months, it was just sweet Joe. Yeah.
You know?
Speaker 2 Yeah, just
Speaker 1
my dad lost his job. Right in this drone.
Talking around.
Speaker 1 It's number one, the one part.
Speaker 2 Number two, what the guy said.
Speaker 1 Number three, you know the drill. Come on, folks.
Speaker 1 So it was just that. And I thought, well, it doesn't have the pop or energy of Trump or even Obama or W.
Speaker 1 And then I heard him whisper and yell. And I thought, oh, here we go.
Speaker 1
And then the defiant 50s guy. There's a little crisis of the border.
Yeah, but you said, yeah, I'll get your facts right, Jack. I'll beat the hell out of you.
Speaker 1 Come on, do some push up to your dogface dog-faced pony soldier. You know, the 50s guy.
Speaker 1 So Biden eventually was my favorite because he had like 10 hooks.
Speaker 2 Did he acknowledge it?
Speaker 1 His staff came to one of the parties, middle of the night. Hey, we just got to say, I think I still have the cards.
Speaker 1 We love your Biden. Why don't you, Joe probably love it too? Why don't you come down to the White House and have lunch? It never happened, but, you know, because he said, what's lunch?
Speaker 1 Is that the thing you do before dinner?
Speaker 1
Just watch him eat a paper bag and you you got to go. No one says anything.
No one says anything.
Speaker 1 So, anyway, I loved it. It was again entering and exiting, but it was
Speaker 1
a real challenge to make it acceptable. And I read comments: hey, man, I hate Trump, but whatever, but this is really fucking funny.
It was funny. So that's the main thing.
It was funny. It was funny.
Speaker 1
All right. Let's start the podcast.
So let's go. I have other stuff to do.
I'm going to do a short.
Speaker 1 Yes. Now, when I first got an SNL, the church lady wasn't really for
Speaker 1 you. Have a clock.
Speaker 1 No,
Speaker 1 don't dirt
Speaker 1 they'll never take that away from me julie i have a lot of really hard-hitting questions enough of this
Speaker 2 like literally pull out cards we have to
Speaker 1 do very
Speaker 1 like your real guess
Speaker 1 notes help
Speaker 1 help
Speaker 2 help it says help how will ai be stopped how sexualized women in their 50s and why are all these movies with women in their 50s being incredibly horny
Speaker 2 julie bowen dash sidney sweeney yeah What the fuck?
Speaker 1 Your son, your son thought Sidney Sweeney was going to play the ex-wife.
Speaker 2 Yeah, it was like, no, no, it was going to be
Speaker 2
Happy Gilmore's new hookup. And he said, I heard Sidney Sweeney's the cart girl.
Can I come to Sydney?
Speaker 1
Cart girl is a good idea. Cart girl.
So then you knew you were the one who was a girl. Is she the cart girl?
Speaker 2 I didn't know. I didn't know anything about the movie.
Speaker 1 Are you still allowed to read the script yet?
Speaker 2 There's so many things on that piece of paper.
Speaker 1
It's terrifying. I know.
You're not supposed to.
Speaker 1
We want to get to Happy Gilmore. No, you can't.
going to. Let's start with stupid Happy Gilmore.
Did you? I'm kidding. That should have been a good time.
Speaker 1 He's not here.
Speaker 1 Did he call you up and be that very whispery, gentle Adam? Ah, Jordan. I thought I'm here.
Speaker 1 Oh, I thought he's my apology director. Oh, you are dude.
Speaker 2 And he, and he, and he calling me, actually, he texted me, and I thought it was the second AD from some project I just because it just comes up as Adam.
Speaker 2 And I was like, hey, fuck face. And I was like, yeah.
Speaker 2 he's like
Speaker 2 what's going on I was like do you have something you need to say and he was like whoa rude and I picked up the phone called him I was like I thought you were the second AD from some project
Speaker 1 hitting you up three years later
Speaker 1 he said
Speaker 2 we're doing it buddy and uh and we want you to be part and I said Adam I don't care if I'm part of it or not good like I felt like he was calling to tell me that I wasn't in it when did you realize during the phone call holy shit I'm in happy gomore too uh
Speaker 1 30 seconds?
Speaker 2 Yeah.
Speaker 1 Did you negotiate at all? I mean, what would I approximately get that?
Speaker 2 I didn't negotiate. You didn't either.
Speaker 1 You just hint at what it would be possibly.
Speaker 2
No. Okay.
No, I just, I mean, you've both worked with that.
Speaker 1 I'm like, we know I'm like a little, he's my little brother from another mother. Did you text your list of demands after when you think about it a little bit?
Speaker 2 I did not have a list of demands. That was the craziest, most elaborate production, though, I've ever seen.
Speaker 2 You know, when you have a village, like,
Speaker 2 the video village, not video village, like the circus, you know, where they put all the trailers and stuff.
Speaker 2 It was like a literal, like, now you go to K-Street. It reminded me of your bit about trying to get out of the
Speaker 2
MGM Grand. And you're like, you go to the second wheel and you go around twice with the sunrise.
The town.
Speaker 1 It was messy.
Speaker 1 Adam Town.
Speaker 1 Did they have any cameos?
Speaker 2 In the film?
Speaker 2 Did they?
Speaker 2 I think there's.
Speaker 1
We don't get Yahoo news. We don't know.
I don't really look at news much. I'm reading Warren Peace right now.
Speaker 2 I don't read about it.
Speaker 1 But yeah, it's an extravagant movie.
Speaker 2 135 people, I think, are in this movie.
Speaker 1
Shut the fuck up. That's delete Eminem.
I don't know. They did get Eminem.
Speaker 1 Is that true? Eminem is in the movie. Because I did my homework.
Speaker 1 Post Malone, Eminem, and Bad Bunny are doing cameos in the movie. Does Post Malone play your son?
Speaker 2 My son.
Speaker 1 His son plays basketball. It's called Post Up Malone.
Speaker 1 Wait,
Speaker 1 are you and Adam married? Did you get married in the first one at the end?
Speaker 2 We ended the movie just together.
Speaker 1 Right. And so now.
Speaker 2 I think I'm only allowed to say what's in the trailer. So
Speaker 1
yeah. I mean, we're married.
We have kids. Okay.
Speaker 2 We're married with kids. Nice.
Speaker 1
It's like all on all. The kids better be famous people.
Now, do you have a makeout sesh, as David would say,
Speaker 1 with your husband, Adam?
Speaker 2 First day of shooting, we had a little kissy-kissy.
Speaker 1 Was it on camera or off-camera?
Speaker 2 It was definitely on camera.
Speaker 1 It was definitely on camera. I'm not trying to stir the pot.
Speaker 2 No, I mean, except for that you totally are
Speaker 2 he said if I didn't make out with him, he was going to replace me with Sidney Sweeney. Yeah.
Speaker 1 Well, you said Sidney Sweeney is in it. Sidney Sweeney is in it as cart girl.
Speaker 2 Is she?
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 1 She is. She is in it.
Speaker 1
So your kid was in. So my kid was right.
Your kid was right. Because that is a good idea.
Cart girl is always supposed to be some cute girl.
Speaker 2 They never, they had like the whole cast list was coded. And like, even in the hair makeup trailer, they'd be like, I mean, it was like, oh, Caddy.
Speaker 2 Oh, the catty's in and that was all it was on the on the call sheet everything and then cart girl works today what big boob cart girl i heard that julie uh uh sweeney sweeney what is her name sweeney
Speaker 1 she had one uh golf cart for her breasts and one for her body it was so large yeah and this and on the piece of paper was women being sexualized now what was that no no women i mean the call i had
Speaker 1 a queen of yes women in their 50s that are still incredibly horny it's a genre She was great in Baby Girl.
Speaker 2 Do you think she is, though? Is she incredibly horny or is she just playing horny?
Speaker 1 That is one of the best
Speaker 1 questions that has ever been asked on this podcast. Literally, that is so exciting.
Speaker 1 The next half hour is going to unpack that. I have never met Nicole Kinner.
Speaker 2
I have known nothing about her. She's a great actress, but I like to imagine that she goes home and she's like, yeah, don't touch me.
You know, she just like sleeps and
Speaker 1 sexualized.
Speaker 2 Because she's so beautiful and so perfect in porcelain.
Speaker 1 What about Keith Hebbin? Doesn't he have a right to get some
Speaker 2 sexual activity?
Speaker 1
I'm doing JFK as Keith Herbin. Sorry.
My Australian home.
Speaker 2 Is he Aussie too?
Speaker 1 He's Aussie's too.
Speaker 2 I don't know. He calls her Nick.
Speaker 1 Hey, Nick, how is it today? I got beat up in a shower and fist fucked a guy. All right.
Speaker 1
That's Baby Girl. Did you see Baby Girl? Sorry.
We're going to have to cut it. I've seen it.
I guess. That's for the crew.
Speaker 2 Is that not? That is probably not YouTube approved.
Speaker 1 We have editing capability. You can go as blue as you want.
Speaker 1 Greg's already cutting it right now.
Speaker 2 I do think that,
Speaker 2 first of all, if I look like Sidney Sweeney, I would be naked 24-7.
Speaker 1 Sure.
Speaker 2 And because eventually she'll have kids and she's going to have to tuck her tits into her socks. And that is just true because it's really important.
Speaker 1 Well, that's going to trend.
Speaker 1 Tits into her socks. That's great.
Speaker 2 That's only after she has kids. So while she's young and gorgeous and she is, and a really good actress,
Speaker 2 I don't know why everybody gives her heat because she's got the greatest boobs that were ever made and she doesn't mind.
Speaker 1
She's good. I just saw Euphoria.
I don't even watch Euphoria, but it was on when I was on the road.
Speaker 1 And
Speaker 2 David wants to talk about his tour.
Speaker 1 No.
Speaker 1 We'll plug it on the commercial. He'll be in town.
Speaker 1 You have to do it.
Speaker 1 You have to do a testimonial for Marongo.
Speaker 1 We're going to Yamaba.
Speaker 1 Good job, Julie. Yeah.
Speaker 2 Are you going to Yambava?
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 1
We'll see if we can get Jin. Yamava, what is this? I don't know if I got any comps.
Is this Jewish? Yamava?
Speaker 2 I don't know what Yamava is.
Speaker 1 Yamava is
Speaker 2 a casino out sitting in your palm desert.
Speaker 1 Further have we playing that? Yeah, that's what you say. Oh, we're playing a casino.
Speaker 2 The two of you? Yeah.
Speaker 1 Together.
Speaker 2 Together. How does that go?
Speaker 1 Well, he tries to follow me.
Speaker 1
That is true. No, no.
I don't want to follow him. That wasn't pretty.
We've done it. We followed you in Indianapolis.
Yeah, I did, too. I said to the sound guy, look, I know he's going a little over.
Speaker 1 Could we just like slowly bring the mic down?
Speaker 2 We were doing an extra.
Speaker 1 He got him off before he did his porn chunk on an airplane.
Speaker 2 What?
Speaker 2 It works. I don't know the porn chunk on an airplane.
Speaker 1
He's got a very funny. I actually got a little dirty when I was at a...
I just played Judy's in the crowd, my mom.
Speaker 2 And when I was in airplanes. Oh, sweet Judy doesn't want to hear that.
Speaker 1 Oh, sweet girl,
Speaker 2 Judy's the sweetest woman that ever lived.
Speaker 1 Yeah, she she, I said, mom, if you're there,
Speaker 1
I will take some stuff out, but I got to fill an hour and I just did a special. I got to do some new stuff.
Oh, I don't care. I don't know if you need it, though.
Speaker 1
And then afterwards, she goes, it was great. I should have just walked out for the last 20.
Huh? Well, because of the porn thing?
Speaker 2 Of our 30-minute set. And she's like, that last 20 was just
Speaker 1 Davy. There's a couple of, oh,
Speaker 1 you know, who's funny? Nate.
Speaker 1 She likes Nate Bergatzi.
Speaker 2 Nate is funny.
Speaker 1 He is funny and he's clean. It's a very
Speaker 1
tough comic. great, not because it rhymes.
Nate is
Speaker 1
really great. Spade is very funny.
That's another one for me. Spade's got it made, not because it rhymes.
Speaker 1 Space is made. Julie is going off.
Speaker 1
No, not because it rhymes. Wait, I just.
I'm kind of punchy if you haven't noticed.
Speaker 2 So I don't know who is in this movie. It's a short answer.
Speaker 1 I never know it's
Speaker 1 not. Right.
Speaker 1 They're not in all.
Speaker 2 You would see the people when you knew.
Speaker 1 Did you ever get on Travis Kelsey's shoulders?
Speaker 2 Why would I get on his shoulder?
Speaker 1 Because he's a man that you could get on his shoulders. You could get on his shoulders.
Speaker 1 No. And he wouldn't notice.
Speaker 2 He wouldn't notice. I could just climb right up his back.
Speaker 1 He weighed 88.
Speaker 2 Yeah. And he is, I could tuck myself in his shirt.
Speaker 1
He wouldn't. He's like a refrigerator with a head attached.
He's a very large man. We're just weighing real fast.
I don't want to change the topic. Nothing.
Are they getting married?
Speaker 1 Tay Tay and
Speaker 1
Trav Trav. I don't know.
Are they getting married? You have five seconds.
Speaker 2 No.
Speaker 1 Are they? Oh, you pushed her.
Speaker 1 No. Are they
Speaker 1 secretly married? No.
Speaker 1 Okay.
Speaker 2
No way. Why would they do anything in secret? Why? No, no, no.
I mean, like,
Speaker 2
you know, David loves marriage. Yeah.
And he has a long history.
Speaker 1 Go to a break. I need five minutes.
Speaker 1 Could we cut tape?
Speaker 2 David loves commitment and he's very serious about his faith.
Speaker 1 Julie Louise Bowen.
Speaker 2 And he would like to stand in front of God and his family and make a lifelong commitment to one woman.
Speaker 2 And that's why he's so fascinated with this issue with Taytay and
Speaker 2 Taytay and Trav.
Speaker 2 But I've been married.
Speaker 2
I get along great with my ex-husband. We're totally solid.
Marriage is raw, it's hard.
Speaker 1
Well, that'll be hard. It's personal.
Just generally.
Speaker 1 What was the cause of the breakup?
Speaker 1
Or what causes marriages to break up? Not yours. You don't want to be personal.
Well, I have some ideas.
Speaker 2 Some of us are not as good at being married.
Speaker 2 and i'm one of those people my husband was great and i and i was just like uh i was difficult yeah and uh i was working all the time and i i was suffered the like underappreciation syndrome and i'm doing all this and you know and then you start going in different directions and yeah the only thing a marriage can't survive is contempt
Speaker 1 Is that true?
Speaker 1 Well, I just, I heard a guy, I heard that of some analysis analysis on the radio. You heard that.
Speaker 2 Contempt. You heard that in your couples therapy.
Speaker 1
No, this is what I heard. It I heard about women.
Let me see if you think this is true. Let's hear it.
Speaker 1
No, men want to be admired. Okay.
And women want to be loved by a man they admire. You have five seconds.
What the fuck?
Speaker 2 That's like, it takes me five seconds even to
Speaker 1 get that.
Speaker 2 Women want to be loved by the man they might.
Speaker 2 Okay.
Speaker 2 Did you admire your husband?
Speaker 1 That's quite groundbreaking.
Speaker 2 I mean, admire i don't really i loved him okay yeah i i loved i don't know admire that sounds weird like
Speaker 2 i mean not everyone can be admired the way you two are admired there's
Speaker 1 i admire david and he admires me i admired your ability to bring other people along on our dates julie this isn't why you're here wait a minute what is you say when you go to teach you want to bring a bunch of people and he literally would always bring somebody and then and then we'd be in the middle of a conversation and he'd go you know, save it, save it, save it for next time.
Speaker 2 No, he was always worried we'd run out of things to talk about. I was like, I've never had anything so true.
Speaker 1 He does do that.
Speaker 2
He does. Save it.
Save it. Save it.
Speaker 1 Save it for when we have it. Sinner for
Speaker 1 it.
Speaker 2
Save it. I don't know.
You're always worried we're not going to have anything to talk about.
Speaker 1 Guess what? We ran out.
Speaker 1 We did not.
Speaker 2 We never ran out of shit to talk about.
Speaker 1 See, it was good. We haven't talked for a year because now we have all this stuff.
Speaker 2 See, we saved it.
Speaker 2
Save it. Save it.
Save it.
Speaker 1 If you can understand it, it's yours.
Speaker 2 Save it for our next dinner at Nibbler's.
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Speaker 3 Hey, everybody, it's me, Bill Maher. If you're not watching or at least listening to Club Random, you're really missing something good and something unique.
Speaker 3 Because I don't think we look or sound like any other podcast, and that's by design.
Speaker 3 My life's quest has been to do some kind of show that captured the level of intimacy and the lack of artifice you would see if you saw me off camera talking to a friend.
Speaker 3 No one else in the room, plenty of pot and booze, and nothing planned. This is a show where I get high talking to someone I'm interested in to get to know and to laugh with.
Speaker 3 It's not an interview, it's wild. And I'm having a ball and the guests are having a ball and you will too.
Speaker 3 So please follow Club Random with Bill Maher and see new episodes every Monday on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever. you get your podcasts.
Speaker 1
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Speaker 1 And nibblers? Nibblers? Isn't that right next to Pirates of Caribbean?
Speaker 2 Nibblers was down on
Speaker 2 Nibbler's was on, it had an early bird special. And I don't remember if we ever, I think we had a lot of fun.
Speaker 1 Do we ever go to Residuals?
Speaker 1 That's a real thing.
Speaker 2 Do they have a 5 p.m. dinner?
Speaker 1
Do you know Residuals? Yes. Okay.
It's a bar that people should know about. in LA and the Valley where if you bring your residual check, if it's under a dollar, you get a free drink.
I thought he had
Speaker 1 tons of
Speaker 1
plenty. And they put it on the wall.
Yeah. But since all of mine are under a dollar now, I could really clean up.
Yeah. I got one.
Speaker 2 There are no more residuals.
Speaker 1 Oh, really? I mean,
Speaker 1 the strike worked. It seemed like the whole business went.
Speaker 2 Yeah. No,
Speaker 2 I don't feel that it worked.
Speaker 2 Is it a hot take?
Speaker 1 I feel like
Speaker 1 it's just proven that it's not.
Speaker 2 Well, they were like, it was, I mean, it's so inside baseball, and probably your viewers, listeners.
Speaker 1 No, no, they got it.
Speaker 1 COVID strike. Yeah, all that stuff did not help.
Speaker 2 Sometimes you lose for winning you know it was it was i guess we made strides in ai
Speaker 1 but i don't know
Speaker 1 the ai is
Speaker 2 the genie in the ball i think there was no way to stuff it back but you know they did they did they managed to take every single like the uh show like every network show ever that now goes to streaming they there's you get a like there's a very complicated math formula that adds up to one cent
Speaker 1 so if they took all of it it's all gone if they took a show like just shoot me.
Speaker 2
Let's just say I'm not going to say modern family. It's too easy.
Where you were nominated
Speaker 1
a classic for Golden Globe 2M's. Okay.
I'll let you. I eat it.
Did you win?
Speaker 1
You know, I don't even know. I don't remember because it's all about being nominated.
Let's talk about this soon.
Speaker 1
Save it for next month. Don't use her ammo against me.
I thought it was a good one. It's a good option.
Well, the mom is everything she can say is going to be funny about it. So I and I stay quiet.
Speaker 1 That's when we met.
Speaker 2 We met at the Golden Golden Gloves.
Speaker 1 Oh, we did meet at the Golden Gloves. Yeah, she has a photographic memory when it comes to you.
Speaker 2 Well, I remember meeting him because he was like, hey, I know you.
Speaker 1 Oh, boy.
Speaker 1
I love everything has to be a disaster. No.
And I think I kicked you in the butt and I said, what's up, loser?
Speaker 2
No, you asked me. You're like, why do I, I know you.
And I said, no, you don't.
Speaker 1
Yeah, from your Neutrogena commercial. No.
No, you were on Ed.
Speaker 2 I was on.
Speaker 1 Ed.
Speaker 2 I didn't even know what I was on at the time. It was a long time ago.
Speaker 1 You're actually also very pretty. So you didn't really have to be on Twitter.
Speaker 2 I told you I was a dog walker.
Speaker 1 Oh.
Speaker 2
And you believed me. And then you went away.
He's like,
Speaker 1 you like faded quickly.
Speaker 1 That was a true side gig while until you're trying to get rid of it.
Speaker 2 He was like trying to go, like, you know, that thing where people are like, how do I know you?
Speaker 2
And you're like, that's not on me to tell you. So I was like, I don't know.
Maybe I've walked your dog. He goes, I don't have a dog.
And I said, well, I'm a dog walker.
Speaker 1
Then she walked away. Oh, okay.
I'm a dog. I'm a dog walker.
It's a little seductive. She's a dogger.
I can make a doggie go roll around. No.
I can make a doggie sit up and beg.
Speaker 1
I mean, there's a lot there to avoid. I didn't go for it.
I was super nice.
Speaker 1 And then I tracked you down somehow.
Speaker 2 Right? Sure, you're publicist.
Speaker 1
Well, we didn't have, how else? Any other way. You live in New York.
I lived in L.A. Oh.
Okay. I remember the night you met her and you said, I met this really
Speaker 1
cool chick. And her name is Jan Beaman.
Where did you meet me? I go, Jan Beaman.
Speaker 2 You guys probably met at.
Speaker 1
I know where I met you. And guess why I shouldn't even give it away? No, we don't have to give the address away.
Eric Idol is now renting that house in Beachwood Canyon where I met David.
Speaker 2 Well,
Speaker 2 who was living there?
Speaker 1 Where were the time? Kevin Nealon was living there.
Speaker 1
I was living there. David lived there after I got SNL.
Kevin got SNL. And then David got SNL.
No, I rented
Speaker 1 this house while they were on SNL.
Speaker 1 I lived in the garage to save money with my wife. We had a hot plate in No Kitchen.
Speaker 2 In the the garage. No, on the top of the garage.
Speaker 1
Okay, okay, 300 square feet. But in this house, for some reason, I got lucky enough to get SNL.
They said they needed, they wanted a tall guy. I said, you know, Kevin Needham, he's like 6'5.
Speaker 1
So Kevin got on. David said, they wanted a tall guy.
It was a throwaway, but I don't think that's exactly why Kevin got it. I mean, exactly.
They had me.
Speaker 2 You just kill yourself when you don't get it. You're like,
Speaker 2 they were just trying to round the cast out with tall guys.
Speaker 1
I think Lauren is at his core, it is kind of like a sitcom. Like he didn't, you don't, even Jim Carrey's a genius, but you don't want five Jim Carreys.
Right. You want this balance of stuff.
Speaker 1
That's the way he does it. So it filled in nicely.
But then David got saturnized. No, I rented Kevin's room.
Speaker 1
He saw me in the improv in the hallway and I go, oh, I'm getting kicked out of John Mulroney's house. He goes, okay.
Oh, you know what? I'm going to SNL.
Speaker 1
Do you want to rent a room with his two other comedians? And I said, yeah. So I rented it when he came home with Dana.
They would tell me about SNL and Kevin was sleeping on the couch.
Speaker 1 And that's how I met Dana. And then, but it didn't cross my mind ever to go on SNO, ever.
Speaker 2 Whoa, let's back up to you were living at John Mulrooney's.
Speaker 1 Oh, Mulroney's. He's a comedian.
Speaker 2 You don't know. I thought you said Mulvaney.
Speaker 1
Was Bob Dubex there? Was Paula still over the garage when you were there? Yeah. Oh, so my wife lived over the garage.
Yeah. Because I was in New York for a while.
Speaker 1 Like three Dana's because your wife has blonde hair. We all were very, very blonde.
Speaker 2 And you were all named Dana.
Speaker 1 You could have.
Speaker 1 So I stayed there and then they came back and then eventually they, Dennis Miller helped recommend me they helped and then just i was using stand-up so and then i when i got on that's why it took me a while to get going because i just knew how to kind of write but not write sketches he wrote yeah he used to be my writer yeah and they go write for dana and i'm like yeah it was kind of weird though you wrote for him well they would ask him to write for me but lauren also said to me if anything happens to you david's always there like he was there like he was another version of you yes and he would sit behind me and read through and sometimes he'd pull back on my chair a little bit cut out man when are you leaving leaving but also we toured i he was my opener we did stand-up and he would give me some jokes and stuff he's a great writer not funny we go out beep bop beep wait you got i cannot imagine i did not know you were that like
Speaker 2 he was literally waiting for you to like take a sick day yeah or yeah he was just sort of being groomed
Speaker 1 yeah yeah i mean i i had caught and church lady was my character and then i left it at that place in beechwood canyon when i went back to snow when i came back i couldn't find it i looked through the window where david was staying and he was sitting there looking
Speaker 1 dressed as a church lady. Not in the shower, but just at a chair.
Speaker 2 You were dressed as church lady?
Speaker 1 Just vacuuming.
Speaker 1 And I go, oh, Dana, you're home today.
Speaker 1 Oh, Saint.
Speaker 1
Did you have early days? I was curious about two things. I'm going to unpack it.
One is just you as a little girl and then you ending up being a huge TV star and a movie star and whatever star.
Speaker 1
You became a star. You're famous and you were just a little girl.
What started? And so what did Julie see? What did you watch? What toy did you have? Did you have a dog? Who were you? Who were you?
Speaker 1 Because it's so freaky to become famous in acting or comedy.
Speaker 2 It is, it is, it is, the odds are vastly stacked against you, especially when I didn't watch TV as a child.
Speaker 1 Oh, what? Hormones? Were you in Baltimore?
Speaker 2 I was in Baltimore when we didn't have cable or any, I mean, it was like, and we weren't really allowed to watch TV except for specials. Do you guys remember that?
Speaker 2 Like, it was like, it was a special, and then it would spin around the sea, and it was this sort of disco
Speaker 2
kind of font. And if it was a special, we could watch it and then we could record it.
And so I had three movies recorded, probably on Betamax, that we watched
Speaker 2 endlessly. I knew every word too.
Speaker 2 It was Sound of Music.
Speaker 1 Oh, God, I want to talk about that. Go ahead.
Speaker 2 Gone with the Wind.
Speaker 1 Never saw. Never saw
Speaker 2
Bugsy Malone. Bugsy Malone.
Bugsy Malone was my formative, like I was obsessed with Bugsy Malone.
Speaker 1 Jodi Foster, Jody Foster
Speaker 1 as a child,
Speaker 2 but like a prostitute-y kind of like, yeah, she was Tallulah, and it was so inappropriate.
Speaker 2 That was, oh, I was like, there's everything is wrong with this, and I know every word to them.
Speaker 1 And how old were you when you're watching?
Speaker 2 Oh, my God. Probably like
Speaker 2 between 10 at like 9 and 12.
Speaker 1 So how big a family? How many kids?
Speaker 2 There's three girls.
Speaker 1 And so during the week, you just did your homework. You weren't watching like Little House on the Prairie or Batman.
Speaker 2 I mean, I would watch MASH in the kitchen TV when my mom, if my mom was out, because she would be going to pick up my other sisters from somewhere.
Speaker 2 And I would be like, I would watch MASH, but I'd turn it off really fast because we weren't supposed to watch TV on school.
Speaker 1 You're so disciplined. Did you ever give any guff to your parents?
Speaker 1 No, I was
Speaker 2 really, really like the perfect child. This is bad because then you get, that makes you crazy later.
Speaker 1 Here, you be my, my, my mom asked me, what are you going to do today? And I'll be me. Okay.
Speaker 2 What are you doing today, David?
Speaker 1 Whatever I want.
Speaker 1 She's still Napoleon Dynamite.
Speaker 2 You did not do that.
Speaker 1
I was trying to do Napoleon dynamite. I'll be.
Hey, Napoleon, what are you doing today? Whatever I want. God.
Speaker 1 Get away from me. Get away from me.
Speaker 1 Oh.
Speaker 2 No, I did. I like.
Speaker 1
So you were just a goody children. Did you guys do yours? Then my homework? I did.
And then you became a backseat patty when you you got to Hollywood. What's a backseat patty?
Speaker 1 Is that like
Speaker 1 an irony? A promiscuous woman.
Speaker 1
I heard this figure of speech based on some other famous person. I always thought it was so funny.
Oh, she was a backseat patty. I don't know what that is.
Sounds a little slutty.
Speaker 2
I don't know. No, I was not.
I was told when I got out to LA and I had friends out here who were starting to, they were. backseat pattying.
Okay. And someone said, don't do that.
Speaker 2 You can always sleep your way to the middle. And I was like, okay.
Speaker 1 You pulled your Penelope Prude act on LA, right? Yeah, that's right. Penelope Prude, backseat patty.
Speaker 2 Backseat Patty, Penelope Prude. Yeah,
Speaker 2 I
Speaker 2 just,
Speaker 2
the thing that we would do, you asked what we were doing instead of watching TV. Yeah, yeah.
We did plays. We put on plays in the backyard and we did plays and plays.
Speaker 2 The three of you with neighborhood kids or just neighborhood kids, everybody, we did a lot of people.
Speaker 1 And my own little stage. Yeah.
Speaker 1 Did no one get the bug as hard as you? Who? Did you get the bug for acting, but they as much?
Speaker 2 No, no, Molly, my older sister, you know, Molly. You call her Trolley, which I don't know.
Speaker 1 Molly, the trolley.
Speaker 2
But Molly, Molly's actually a much better actress than I am. Always has been.
But she didn't have the ability to like hear like no and go on auditions.
Speaker 2 And people would be like,
Speaker 2 no, thank you. And I was, I, I was tougher in that regard.
Speaker 1 It was a fucking brutal game.
Speaker 1 Yeah, that's the thing that people miss because they, I mean, it's not anyone's fault, but they'll see you on TV being loose and funny or on a talk show and they don't realize the percentage of just suffering that goes on.
Speaker 1 I mean, maybe there's exceptions, Bob Dylan or the Beatles, but for most of us, it's a slog of disappointment.
Speaker 2 The Beatles played in a strip club for years.
Speaker 1 You mean in hamburg?
Speaker 1
We sat for a plunk, Julie. You know, we sat for a plunk, and Joan, look at me, I look at him.
It's like looking at a mirror. I can't not do it.
Speaker 1 I'm not going to see my cold reading when I'm behind Okie Dog giving a BJ behind a Glory Hall.
Speaker 1 Did I get it?
Speaker 2 Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1 But there's because there's no joy.
Speaker 2
There's no joy, only relief. Like, you're like, they're like, well, we're going to have to get you.
You're going to have to audition. And then, well, we want you to audition again.
Speaker 2 Then we're going to do chemistry reads. And by the time you actually get a job, you're like, really?
Speaker 2 You're still
Speaker 1
so beaten down. Yeah, you are beaten down.
What was your low point? Did you like, I'm going to try to go, I'm going to Hollywood, everybody, and try to make it.
Speaker 1 And you maybe have some little something.
Speaker 1 You're a low point where you're like, maybe this isn't going to happen.
Speaker 1 Well,
Speaker 1 horrible audition. You are.
Speaker 2 I had, I put, I was super pregnant when I auditioned for Modern Family with twins. And I'd been working, but I knew this was going to be a good show.
Speaker 2 And they just kept calling me and looking at my stomach going like,
Speaker 2 and I was like, what? They can't, I guess by law, they weren't allowed to ask me like,
Speaker 2
when are you due? And they kept sort of looking at me. I was like, I'm never getting this job.
They keep bringing everybody in the entire world has auditioned for this.
Speaker 2 And there was another project going at the same time, same network that, and the character was pregnant and they were like they wanted me to test for that they wanted me to test for modern families but i had to pick you've got to pick which one's going to be in first position oh so i picked the other show smart because it wasn't the better show but i needed a job better chance and i wanted i wanted a job not to like i got mouths to feed yeah i i and i was making two more at the time and uh god bless steve levitan found out and actually emailed me and was like what are you doing what are you doing we we really want want you and i was like you just stand around and look at my stomach all day they go he goes when when is that baby due i said oh no there's two of them there's a lot longer to go
Speaker 1 that's what they were trying to figure out
Speaker 2 so you are pregnant fat so they don't just shot it the way i we shot it and i hid behind things and then then you had a break to have them while they picked it up or something i i had them the day we got picked up is oh okay steve levitain called me may 7th because i was in labor and i was hanging out.
Speaker 2 Being in labor, it sounds like it's really intense, but it's kind of boring.
Speaker 2 And I was like, you know, hanging out and my phone rings and I answered it. And he's like, the show got picked up and they're going to show the whole pilot.
Speaker 2 And I was like, that's awesome. He's like, any chance you can make it to the upfronts in New York? I was like, I don't think so.
Speaker 2 He's like, what are you doing? And I'm like,
Speaker 1 shoot me up.
Speaker 1 I'm having a baby.
Speaker 2
And he was like, or two. And he was like, I'm in Leo now.
So, yeah.
Speaker 1 Did you ever ask him that one, it got around like someone else really wants julie there's nothing more powerful than that in life than she's actually got a thing over here they want you know i don't know if they would have picked you anyway but that was double your
Speaker 2 it probably it probably i'm sure it helped yeah and but it was i went i went home and i sobbed because then i tried to get put modern family in first position
Speaker 2
and they wouldn't let me They're like, can't be done. Just can't be done.
I'm like, it's the same network.
Speaker 1 You just, if they, what what do you mean it can't they just hire you without is this a rumor that your two boys are named ed o'neal yeah that is definitely no i have a quick story about jennifer anison i just want to clarify jennifer's mom lived my in my condos and then i met jennifer when she was kind of newer but auditioning so she had auditioning for friends and then she got
Speaker 1 another thing i think it was called muddling through or something it was with paul rudd okay it was with paul rudd okay and then
Speaker 1 she goes i hope now she hoped it, the friends one went. But I think one got, what happened? Did it get picked up?
Speaker 2 And then it got paid.
Speaker 1 I don't remember.
Speaker 2 I just remember that they were like, oh, my, and then friends got picked up and, and she was like, oh, shit, what am I going to do? And then it turned out to be the right thing, obviously.
Speaker 1 It was a big hit. Did you ever turn down something that hurts a hit or miss it barely?
Speaker 2
I didn't. I didn't audition for some stuff that I didn't on the page.
I wasn't
Speaker 2 no.
Speaker 2
I didn't audition for 40-year-old virgin, but it was Liz Banks anyhow. So, you know, whenever it's, if it's going to be Liz Banks, it's going to be Liz Banks.
She is great. But I didn't, I had,
Speaker 2
they had little kids and I was really busy and I was tired and I was reading it. I was just like, I don't, I'm not sure getting it.
And then you see it and you go, fuck, you're an angel.
Speaker 1
It's so funny. You're an anti-and then drove and had to blow.
Oh, you just can't
Speaker 2 that. What was that?
Speaker 1 Is that what her part was? I don't remember. Yeah.
Speaker 1 She asked if she hits on Seep Girl.
Speaker 1
She blows in both eyes to start the car, and then she starts hitting all the cars. Yeah.
Was that Leslie?
Speaker 2 No, that was Leslie. That was in, that was in
Speaker 2 Knocked Up.
Speaker 1
Knocked Up. It was Leslie.
It was Leslie Mann. Seth Rogan.
Go ask her. That's great, too.
Yeah.
Speaker 1
Yeah. Elizabeth Banks is a non-Secur, just so you can cut it out.
She called me once in the 90s or something. She had an idea of a script where she didn't know who her dad was, and it was me.
Speaker 2 And you were like, wait, what?
Speaker 1 What about that idea? I could do the church life for you. What about that Brian Cranston idea?
Speaker 2 What's the Brian Cranston? What?
Speaker 1
Where they were like trying to kill Dana Carr? The whole thing was. Oh, yeah.
No, that was
Speaker 1 someone writing a,
Speaker 1
no, season two of the Are The Australian Guy We Just Had on. Oh, who? Oh, Jim Jeffries.
Jim Jeffries had a sitcom on.
Speaker 1
And then the third season was going to be, I was going to be his dad, or I was going to get killed or something. He was going to kidnap you for the whole season.
But did you ever really struggle?
Speaker 1 Did you eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and like struggle to get an agent? You know, that phase.
Speaker 2 Yeah. No, I lived in New York
Speaker 2
after college and I waited a lot of tables. Okay.
A lot of tables. Did.
Speaker 1 And I, yes.
Speaker 2 And I, I, uh, I did every random job you could. I was a reader at HBO.
Speaker 2
Um, I labeled teacups. Some random woman.
I'd do anything I got hired for.
Speaker 1 Right. Teacup label.
Speaker 2 Other than backseat patty it.
Speaker 1
Backseat patty. Backseat patty.
We got the name of the episode.
Speaker 1 Not backseat. No, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 2 But yeah, no, I definitely.
Speaker 1
And did you ever get discouraged? Like, sort of go, fuck, this isn't going to happen for me. That's what I was trying to get to.
Did you have dowers? Yes.
Speaker 2
Okay. Oh, a thousand.
Yeah. All right.
Yeah. Especially when I was auditioning in New York and I was just getting commercials and TV shows.
No, sorry, I was getting commercials and like episodic.
Speaker 2 And all I wanted to be was a theater actor. I wanted like serious theater
Speaker 2 and never, was never hired.
Speaker 1 Not even sound of music your favorite movie?
Speaker 2 I mean it's it's a tight musical it's a tight three-way race you know I mean what's the other two for musicals oh for musicals I can't see wicked
Speaker 2 never seen it I've never seen it wicked is that bad I mean we're gonna have to go with bunches I never saw sound of music obviously it's wicked smart and you you can sing
Speaker 1 I don't think he can sing
Speaker 2 I can sing as Neil Young that's the only way I can sing you can sing as Neil Young yeah Can you sing as anybody else?
Speaker 1
I think that's probably my best way to sing. As Dana.
I don't have a voice. I don't have a face.
I don't have a personality. You got to stick a nose on me or give me some voice.
Speaker 1 I mean, I'm a completely neutral and visible person.
Speaker 2 But you know who I was all struck by was Ariana Grande on SNL 50 doing that.
Speaker 2
Had she every single singer ever? Yeah, she's amazing. And I don't think she's had, like, she looks like a waif.
She looks like a tiny little waif and miles forward because she sings.
Speaker 1
Wait, was it the sketch where she comes in and sings everybody? She's saying impressions. She does impressions.
She's so funny. She's amazing.
She does.
Speaker 1 I did Jennifer Coolidge with her on that show.
Speaker 2 That's right. That was great.
Speaker 2 Oh, my God. That was so good.
Speaker 1 That was great.
Speaker 2
There were three Jennifer Coolidge. Yeah.
Yeah, because it was close.
Speaker 1 And I don't know what to do.
Speaker 1
Oh, what am I doing? But she's kind of shy. And then by the time we rehearsed it, yeah, standoffish.
And then by the time we did it on it, she was.
Speaker 2 You're going to have to cut that out.
Speaker 1
No, I mean, she, then she cut, then once she knows you're a 12-year-old's gonna murder her. No, she's been a little shy.
And then when she gets out there, it's like power.
Speaker 2 You know, she's incredible.
Speaker 1
But she's not on every second, but adorable person. We want to have her on the podcast after Wicked 2.
Come on.
Speaker 1
After Wicked 2 shit. After Wicked 2.
So the first time you got something where you said, holy shit, I may have a career.
Speaker 1
Is it Modern Family? Was it that? No, no. Happy Gilmore you did in 95.
Happy Gilmore was my first movie.
Speaker 2 Oh, okay. That was 94.
Speaker 1 And it's a classic.
Speaker 2 But I didn't think at the time it was like,
Speaker 2 I mean, it was made for barely any money up in Canada. We had black, it was so fun, but I didn't ever think anybody was going to see it.
Speaker 2 I didn't. I thought it was just like a little.
Speaker 2 I thought it was like a fun, weird little movie.
Speaker 1 You never know. You never know.
Speaker 2 And then you, yeah, you really never.
Speaker 1 You never know. It was Sandler's second one, I think.
Speaker 2 Yeah, it was funny.
Speaker 1 What was the Tim Allen movie you did? Oh,
Speaker 1 when you came here for the premiere.
Speaker 1 Joe Somebody is the name of it?
Speaker 2 Joe Somebody.
Speaker 2 Why did you just bring that up?
Speaker 1 Because I was thinking of movies. I was like, you can't even.
Speaker 2 I have not been in very many movies.
Speaker 2 I'm not like people don't, they like me in the kitchen next to the refrigerator, waving my fingers.
Speaker 1 All right. Cold mornings, holiday plans, endless to-do lists.
Speaker 1
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Makes sense. And I'll use every day.
You know what I mean? That's Quince. That's it.
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And Quince isn't just clothes, they've got amazing options for home, bath, kitchen, and travel.
Speaker 1
Oh, yeah. I picked up a few for myself and a few to gift, and it's all stuff people actually love.
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Go to quince.com/slash fly for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.
That's q-u-in-ce-e.com/slash fly. Free shipping, 365-day returns.
Quince.com/slash fly.
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Speaker 1 Would you ever do a highly sexualized woman
Speaker 2 with a younger man?
Speaker 1 Like,
Speaker 2
you think you would. You want to.
I want to, but then you go, oh, people get, they can't, they don't want Claire Dumphy doing that, you know?
Speaker 1 But oh, yeah, you do have that.
Speaker 2 I know, I, but I'm trying to figure out how you shake that without being disrespectful.
Speaker 1 Would you be embarrassed shooting like the super horny girl getting ramrod? It just, I watched Nicole Kidd and I was like, God dang,
Speaker 1
Nicole Kidd. You saw it too.
You watched all the 10 times. The question is, is she horny or pretending to be horny?
Speaker 2 Huh? Did you watch with pillows on? No, no one's there.
Speaker 1 They can see my rod.
Speaker 2 Oh, you know, like boys, when they watch it.
Speaker 1
I didn't find it sexy. You mean, you mean baby girl? Baby girl.
I didn't find it sexy.
Speaker 1 I thought she's just a great actress.
Speaker 2
She's a phenomenal actress. But yeah, I imagine she goes home.
It's like, you know, you guys know comedians.
Speaker 2 You probably both go home. You're like, shut the fuck up.
Speaker 1
Like, you're like, you know, I don't want to watch comedy. I don't want to watch a sitcom.
I want to watch drama or Hitler trying to take over Europe or something. I don't want, you know.
Speaker 2 You watch the Hitler channel.
Speaker 1
I'm fascinated with World War II. Yes.
I'm guilty.
Speaker 2 Don't we know everything there is to know now? Like, is there really more?
Speaker 1 I have a friend.
Speaker 1
You can read five books just on D-Day. You can write 10 books on the Battle of Britain.
You can read 12.
Speaker 1 Coming from all different angles, because it was the last time we had really analog secrecy in a war. Oh, you know, I fake dummy parachuters and cardboard tanks.
Speaker 2 Yeah, yes. What that was.
Speaker 2 And then, and code breakers.
Speaker 1 Yeah, that the movie with Bender Dick
Speaker 1
Bender Dick. Wind Talkers.
Bender Dick Cumberbatch.
Speaker 2 Bender Dick is his porn name.
Speaker 1
Where are my nickname? Bender Nick Cocksucker. You know him.
Wait, we got... That's a mic drop right there.
Bender Dick is his porn name. Bender Dick.
Speaker 1 Bender Dick.
Speaker 1 No, he didn't have TikTok, I don't think, during World War II. During World War II, they did tact toe that.
Speaker 2 They did not. Yep, that's true.
Speaker 1 The only good thing about wars is when they... Show it like this new one when they show
Speaker 1
on the map. The only positive thing is then I find out where that country is.
Oh, my God.
Speaker 1 Oh, shit, it's right there. Oh, really?
Speaker 1
I mean, this coverage, every second, Trump may be going in. He's thinking every second we're hearing about it.
We didn't hear anything during World War II. Dwight D.
Speaker 1 Eisenhower for the second day looked at the sky and said, no, he'll decide in seven minutes. You know, everything was secret.
Speaker 2 And now, and I call bullshit on
Speaker 2 the breaking news
Speaker 2 yesterday.
Speaker 1 Right.
Speaker 2 Breaking news five hours ago. You can't say breaking news.
Speaker 2 You've got to stop the breaking news.
Speaker 1 Thank you.
Speaker 2 It's too, you can't breaking news.
Speaker 1 Trump
Speaker 2
made a decision 12 hours ago that everyone's talked about for 12 hours. Yeah, we need new breaking news.
That's enough for this.
Speaker 1
This just in. Yeah.
Two weeks ago. This recently in.
Speaker 2 I'm not.
Speaker 1 This is fairly true news. Before we go.
Speaker 1
Oh, wow. So much decision.
Dana, I mean, Julia, I thought.
Speaker 2 What?
Speaker 1 Did you say you fell down? You look exactly perfect.
Speaker 2
No, don't look. I didn't fall fall down.
I was trimming my trees and
Speaker 2 I got all beat up. You look great.
Speaker 1 Okay. I'm going to ask you:
Speaker 1 when is the premiere?
Speaker 1 I'm happy.
Speaker 2 The actual premiere is the 21st, but when does it premiere?
Speaker 1 On Netflix.
Speaker 2 On the 24th, right?
Speaker 1
24th of what? I thought it was 44th. It's so uninformed.
It's July. It's one or the other.
Shit, I shouldn't know this. Maybe it's 24th.
Speaker 2 No, we should all know this. We should all know this.
Speaker 1 We should know this.
Speaker 2 But you know what's crazier that I found out? This is how what a baller
Speaker 2 move this is.
Speaker 2 Netflix got the rights to Happy Gilmore one,
Speaker 2 and it's airing it for the whole month ahead of time. Oh, like right now, probably right now.
Speaker 1 So they're going to air two and then one?
Speaker 2 They're going to air one.
Speaker 1
Oh, air one is on now, not the groceries. Air one.
Air one. Air one.
Speaker 2
They're going to happy Gilmore OG. Happy Gilmore.
They're airing.
Speaker 2 Even though they.
Speaker 1
Yeah, because the countries, they didn't see one in Thailand and stuff. That's right.
I won't do that. I think they're buying grown-ups too.
Or grown-ups also.
Speaker 1 I think they can, it expires or something.
Speaker 1
I hear it's number one in India. Oh, my goodness, Ned Adam Sandler.
He is a kick in the pants. Wait, I'm asking about the premiere because I want to go.
When is it?
Speaker 2 It's the 21st.
Speaker 2 Molly was just asking, is David going?
Speaker 1 I go.
Speaker 2 That's her first question. She said, are you going to the premiere? And I said, I'm trying to.
Speaker 1 Where is this? He's in New York.
Speaker 2 New York?
Speaker 1 It's in New York. What theater? Fucking
Speaker 2 Lincoln Center. Lincoln Center?
Speaker 2 It was originally going to be at MySquare Garden or something, cuckoo, but now it's at Lincoln Center.
Speaker 1 Really? That would be a plus. Yeah.
Speaker 1
That's a lot of confidence. Welcome, man.
That's amazing.
Speaker 2 I mean, people love that. People are excited for this.
Speaker 1 God, if you ever want to laugh, Julie,
Speaker 1
go look at the 90s. I was such a premiere whore.
I was at so many premieres. It was so embarrassing.
Speaker 2 Well,
Speaker 2 you still like a party.
Speaker 1 No, Julie.
Speaker 2 You still, I'll still walk into it occasionally when I leave my house, which is very unusual because I'm not much of a party girl.
Speaker 2 And there's spade just sort of.
Speaker 1 Not true. I haven't, I don't go out past nine anymore.
Speaker 2 That's not true.
Speaker 1
You don't know. When he's not doing stand-ups, I do know.
I've got a Google alert. Yeah, he's pretty.
Do you have an air tag on my bumper?
Speaker 1 We're locked stink.
Speaker 1 Well, lock stink? No, we're locked step. When we eat
Speaker 1
to eat, it's like 5.30 or 6. Six.
We're done by 8.30, and I don't know.
Speaker 2 Yeah, but then he gets his little like, gotta wander.
Speaker 1 No,
Speaker 2 the rat's gotta wander, and then you get from Theodore the Rat 2.
Speaker 1 Isn't Theo the Rat? Yeah, Theo's the rat.
Speaker 2 Theo's the rat.
Speaker 1
You know, he calls himself the rat. You don't know Theo? Theovon.
You've heard of Joe Rogan? Single.
Speaker 2 My son listens to
Speaker 2
Theovon all day long. Okay.
As a matter of fact, he sleeps to it.
Speaker 1
We should have had you in our movie. Oh, my God.
Oh, I know.
Speaker 2 Did I forget to give you a job?
Speaker 1 Did I forget to give you a
Speaker 1 job for no money where you would have to pay us a little bit? Why? Because it's super low budget.
Speaker 2 What is this movie? Go on and plug your movie. That's so stupid.
Speaker 1 How old's your kid?
Speaker 2 That one's 18. That'd be good for it.
Speaker 1 How old are the twins? They just turned 16. It's an R-rated comedy.
Speaker 1
Yeah, it's right up there, Alley. R-rated comedy.
Yeah.
Speaker 1
But actually, he said, no, he didn't want big stars in it. Not even joking.
But he let you in it.
Speaker 1 I let me in it. Oh.
Speaker 2 You the producer.
Speaker 1 We wrote it, yeah.
Speaker 2 Did you pay for it? Yeah.
Speaker 1
But we didn't try to get it made. We just said, let's.
I don't want any movie-star cameo. We just made him to do it, but we spared him.
Speaker 1 That would have been negative.
Speaker 2 So who's in your movie?
Speaker 1 Most people you wouldn't know. The beautiful and talented
Speaker 2 Tim Dylan?
Speaker 1
I knew it. Marshall Dylan.
Why? Just ask your kid.
Speaker 2 My kids, they will know.
Speaker 1 They'll know Tim Dylan.
Speaker 2 They will know.
Speaker 1 They'll know Theo and Tim Dylan and maybe
Speaker 1 Nate Diaz from UFC. Oh, Mike.
Speaker 2 There's definitely no Nate Diaz. There's a lot of UFC in my house.
Speaker 1 Well, maybe I'll go to that premiere, but there's a problem. I know right now when you say it out loud.
Speaker 2 What?
Speaker 1 That I have a conflict.
Speaker 2 What? You're playing a gig?
Speaker 1 No, I'm going out for a golf trip.
Speaker 1
With who? You shut up, Julie. I know you don't get like this.
Don't do the Arizona rats? Stop tape. No, I'm trading all those guys for celebrities.
Speaker 2 Is this going to be tiger again uh again exactly last time exactly
Speaker 2 what happened
Speaker 1 you played he crashed
Speaker 1 he crashed his car i did like 10 minutes my fault when we left
Speaker 1 i said are you gonna uh you want to go have dinner after this he goes no i'm gonna crash
Speaker 1
he crashed we it was getting dark he finished and then Didn't even have to ball his ass for his number. I never asked a guy for their number.
So he went home and I was like, that was super fun.
Speaker 2 Slid into his DMs immediately.
Speaker 1
I did not. She did.
The next day I saw the car upside down. I was like, oh.
Speaker 1 And I go, I didn't think there's any way he could survive that. And when you see a picture of the car,
Speaker 1 and I go, oh, and I was like, DMing like, are you okay? Just say hi. Just let me know.
Speaker 2
Just because I was with you. Just you know, I'm just worried.
I am, I am trauma adjacent. And it's really important.
Speaker 1 Then they'll go.
Speaker 1
He'll never go out for a walk again. Then three days later, he's already better than David Spade again.
I'm like, God damn, he's already better than David.
Speaker 2 The quote was. Yeah, he was.
Speaker 1 Oh, wait a minute. Did you say the quote on one of our podcasts? It was so, I was jealous of it.
Speaker 2 It was so awesome.
Speaker 1
You were talking, you and Tiger are golfing. Yeah.
And he's talking to you about your shot. Yeah.
You do your swing. Yeah.
And Tiger says,
Speaker 1
oh, we have two drones, 80 people behind us. I think Peter Berg might have been directing a little show.
Yeah. Peter Berg about giving me lessons.
The Friday Night Lights guy?
Speaker 2 That guy.
Speaker 1
I think it was him. Okay.
Okay. And then
Speaker 1
so it's so much pressure. And he goes, well, let's try you out.
Let's just go to the practice range. Why don't you try to chip one 150 out there to that flag? And I'm like, this 80?
Speaker 1 And then you just stand there.
Speaker 1
And I go chip. And it hits about five feet away.
And he goes, oh, shit, are you good? Isn't that great? That should be on a t-shirt. Tiger Woods is about.
Speaker 1 And I've heard, which I guess we talked about on Super Vly, which is now defined.
Speaker 1 That Lovett's told me that David's actually a really good golfer.
Speaker 1
I didn't know. He never told me.
No, I'm a little bit on Lovitz, but but Lovett's started this
Speaker 1 two years ago. Julie,
Speaker 1 I know your limo is waiting.
Speaker 2
No, my limo's not waiting. Tell me what Love is.
Are you going to the golf tournament? No, Lovett's is in the movie. He's going to be at the premiere.
Speaker 1 Hello?
Speaker 2 He is. Hello, Julie.
Speaker 1 Where did he go?
Speaker 2 Last month.
Speaker 1 Where do you run into him?
Speaker 2 He was a couple. He was a Clipper game.
Speaker 1 Okay, he goes to Clipper games a lot.
Speaker 2 Well, he goes with
Speaker 2
Gurvey. Yeah.
And,
Speaker 2 but according to Lovetts, he doesn't actually know what's going on.
Speaker 1 He just goes. He doesn't or Gervetz doesn't?
Speaker 2 I think Lovetts doesn't doesn't care. Are you a basketball kind of? Love.
Speaker 1 Obsessed. When we win a game, we did.
Speaker 2
You took me. And by the way, nicest thing you ever did.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 It was a Nick's playoff game.
Speaker 1 It was good seats.
Speaker 2 It was Nick's.
Speaker 1 It was a playoff game. Yeah, it was a playoff game.
Speaker 2 It was not front row.
Speaker 1 It was court or side. No.
Speaker 1
You don't want to be on the court. Can't see his wife.
Yes, it was. No.
And it was way down at the end where it was sort of with the cameraman, like it was sort of buried.
Speaker 1 But Julie, you swear, you say it yes, and then we'll figure it out later. Okay.
Speaker 2
No, it wasn't. You, we got free tickets once to go.
I probably sat at courtside because it was like an agent thing or something.
Speaker 2 But you actually, you actually went into your tiny arms, went into the very deep pockets.
Speaker 1 Oh, I bought some.
Speaker 2 The short arms went into the deep pockets and you bought, and there were great seats, but you were like, how embarrassing. I remember you sitting there going, fuck, they were expensive.
Speaker 2 I thought we'd be closer. I was like, this is close.
Speaker 1
This is amazing. They were 5,000 each.
I remember that.
Speaker 2 that because they were incredible.
Speaker 1 I was like, where are we? Anyway, now, what about who did I have call you on your birthday? Do you remember this?
Speaker 2 Are you kidding me?
Speaker 1 Okay.
Speaker 2
Stevie Nix. Okay.
He had Stevie Nicks call me and sing landslide into my
Speaker 2 answering machine in New York. He dumped me on the same answering machine.
Speaker 1 Okay, okay. Well, let's call it Hawaii.
Speaker 2 So, you know, listen, potato potatoes.
Speaker 1
We had a great answering machine. That's pretty good.
Julie Bowen. I hung out with her from Modern Family.
Speaker 1
She held my hand from Joe somebody. She did? Yeah.
Just casually, like this.
Speaker 2 I would, it was, it was crazy. It was, that was a, that was a baller movie.
Speaker 1 Okay, that was huge. So that's that was better than our ninth row seats.
Speaker 1
Great female rock voices in history. Yeah, we went over this.
Stevie Nix. She's up there.
There was one that I didn't get that I think was also
Speaker 2 Ann and Nancy Wilson.
Speaker 1
Janice Joplin. I see that.
Janice Joplin was more hard rock. Yeah.
But we never had a voice.
Speaker 2 But Janice was never, and that was going to be, it was going to be a short-lived experience.
Speaker 1 But we do have, we have it recorded
Speaker 1
what she was. Yeah.
But Stevie Nix is kind of the voice
Speaker 2 and still can sing. Yeah.
Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. She can sing.
Speaker 2
She can fucking sing. It's amazing.
It's not like when you feel bad, sometimes they trot people out and everybody's clapping. You're like, oh my God, why are you?
Speaker 1
Now, here you go again. You watch your freedom.
Sing it right now.
Speaker 2
No way. As Stevie Dick.
No, I can't. I cannot sing.
Speaker 1 I just think.
Speaker 2 David will. I'm
Speaker 1 singing.
Speaker 2
Cheeto was my hero. I remember seeing her in behind the music.
Remember those horrible behind the music?
Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 She talked about how much blow she did and how she had to get crew members to blow it up her butt.
Speaker 2 And I was just like, that is clever. So she
Speaker 1 won't even give me a Diet Coke.
Speaker 2 No, her doctor said, if you do any more blow, you're going to go, it's going to, like the membrane between your nose and your brain or something will bust.
Speaker 2 And so she's like, all right, it's up the pooper. And I thought,
Speaker 2 wow, I always just thought she was sort of an Airy Ferris.
Speaker 1
She was kind of clever in a way. I think that was off limits.
Where else could I go with it? I thought when I didn't know
Speaker 1 that it would go up her butt, I go, how far does it have to get to get to her nose?
Speaker 2 Oh, my God, Danny.
Speaker 1 What a long list.
Speaker 2 That's so long.
Speaker 1 But if it gets there, it's worth it. But fuck your curiosity.
Speaker 1 Because that is like, well, yeah.
Speaker 1 Those are called booty bumps, aren't they?
Speaker 1 They weren't when I did them.
Speaker 1 All right, let's go.
Speaker 1
We got to go. All right, fine.
All right. Thank you.
Speaker 2 Dane has got his whole paper and everything else.
Speaker 1
No, you're great. We're going to have to hang on again because that's the trick.
Well, we didn't. I can't.
No, we didn't even talk to save stuff. You could never run out of stuff to talk about.
Speaker 1 No, we saved stuff.
Speaker 2 Save it. Save it.
Speaker 2 David should have a talk show called Save It.
Speaker 1 Don't record this, but what about you with a little daytime talk show? Yeah, you should do it. Why don't you take over Kelly?
Speaker 1 Kelly Clarkson.
Speaker 1 Take over Kelly Clarkson.
Speaker 2 You could do it.
Speaker 1 If you wanted to do it, you could do it. Why don't we come on yours? You know what?
Speaker 2
I hosted for Kimmel once and I had dinner with you after. I was never been so like, I was shaking terrifying.
And you were like, yeah, yeah, I'm doing two next week. And I did two last week.
Speaker 2 And I was like, I did one, and I was.
Speaker 1 No, it's terrifying.
Speaker 2
I had to lie down in the dressing room floor, and there's hair and makeup, and people, and I just lay on the ground. Someone took a picture, people just walking over me.
They're like a lever.
Speaker 2 I was like, I can't go out there. I can't do it.
Speaker 2 I want to take hair up.
Speaker 1
Because now you can do it. It's easier because you did one, but they throw so much shit.
It's like hosting us now. They throw so much at you.
Speaker 1 Once you do it, once you go, okay, now I know when to be nervous and when to get, I got to pace it out.
Speaker 1 Pace out my nervousness. It was a nightmare because the first night I did it, I didn't really practice before Quentin Tarantino was coming out, the guests that I wanted, and they got them.
Speaker 1 I had to do like 10 minutes of coming attractions. And it's
Speaker 1
Bing Flico will be playing. Oh, no, you got one thing wrong.
You did it over again. So it's over and over.
The person who was coaching me had headphones and took them off.
Speaker 1
The audience is getting very excited. Wait, this is Kimmel? Kimmel.
You know what I mean? I'm hosting Tarantino's in the wings, and it's just unraveling.
Speaker 1 You go like this, hey, Bob and Ginger in Portland. We're going to wait for you.
Speaker 2 Don't they do those after?
Speaker 1 No, they do them during. But if you miss one pronunciation, you know, then you got to do the whole thing over there.
Speaker 2 I was not very good at my job hosting.
Speaker 2 I did drop to my knees, scooted across, and kissed Jacob Lordy in the middle of our interview. He told me he had a crush on me.
Speaker 1 Well, that's good.
Speaker 2
Oh, he did. It was was his first talk show.
That guy's a first. And I was
Speaker 2 fucking hot. And
Speaker 2 I,
Speaker 2
the only thing I got right, they were like, you're done. And no retakes.
And I was like, that means I was boring.
Speaker 1
No. Yeah, it does.
No.
Speaker 2 I did everything of the whole show.
Speaker 1 Of the whole show. Most talk shows, it's hard to be just hysterical on
Speaker 1 Jane. He fucking stiffed me.
Speaker 2 What do you mean? He just went like, yeah.
Speaker 1
He looked at you. I go, so you're this new movie.
And then, well, it was, it was sort of my fault. But he like, on purpose, did it.
And then afterwards, he goes, that's funny, right?
Speaker 1 What happened? Like, he didn't want to answer anything.
Speaker 1 Oh, he played that bitch.
Speaker 2 He really laid into the whole bit.
Speaker 1
Yeah, he's like, I don't know. You're from England.
We're in England. Now, I went over there once.
Are you? And he's like, yeah, that whole area. And they look away and I'm like.
Speaker 1 And then I go like this to the audience. I go, I go, hey, why don't you ask me something?
Speaker 1
Because I was getting nowhere. And then Kimmel later said, that's about as hard as it's ever been.
If I had him, I would not know what to do.
Speaker 2 Oh, my God. Wait, Kimmel watches the ones that we
Speaker 1 yeah, they showed him this disaster tape.
Speaker 2 Oh, no.
Speaker 1 I said, was I supposed to make out with Guillermo before the show? And they go, no, that's just like a hazing thing.
Speaker 2 I love Guillermo. Guillermo's my comfort animal when I'm there.
Speaker 2 I swear to God.
Speaker 2 He's
Speaker 2 all right. You can open your presence, Davey.
Speaker 1 I don't know. Oh, now it's over? Okay.
Speaker 1 I feel like this podcast
Speaker 1 is
Speaker 1 how we can
Speaker 1
stay on for this one. Okay.
We're still recording or are we off?
Speaker 2 Open the big one. Kettlebells? Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 You're soft and me.
Speaker 1
Hey, those have been wrapped for two that's all you, man. Years.
It's breaking my quads.
Speaker 2 It's so, so dumb.
Speaker 1 Is it an x-rayed gift?
Speaker 2 No, it's like an actual gift.
Speaker 1 Oh, it's got to be a picture, Frank.
Speaker 2 A picture.
Speaker 1 I went, picture.
Speaker 2 It's a picture.
Speaker 1 It's a picture. I'm from Montana.
Speaker 1 Oh.
Speaker 1
All right. So we just walked Julie out.
She was
Speaker 1 always,
Speaker 1 always funny, always very articulate.
Speaker 1 You were right. I think she should have a talk show.
Speaker 1
I did think she's like made out of a factory. You know, I wonder if she's, that's in her future.
She seems perfect in that demographic,
Speaker 1
photogenic, funny, can be very smart. Were you shocked? I mean, I'll just ask the audience, was it a little shocking at times? We just let it go where it went.
Yeah. And, but
Speaker 1
she had a great laugh. Well, I couldn't help my presents.
I'm the worst present getter too. I'm like this.
Speaker 1
I just throw one down at a time. There's no thank yous in the middle.
It's just like, claim.
Speaker 1 And I'm like, all right, thanks. And the stuff that you don't see is there was a lot more chatter and all kinds of stuff going on upstairs.
Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. We just shoved her off.
Speaker 1 She, I thought she was.
Speaker 1
That's a reason. She's a good guest.
I'm glad we started with her. A lot of fun.
And
Speaker 1
I think everyone liked it. I learned a lot.
I learned a lot, too. And I also forgot a lot of stuff.
Speaker 1 I got dumber.
Speaker 1 That's kind of sad.
Speaker 1
Oh, and I'm excited about Happy Gilmore. So, Happy Gilmore 2 comes out July 25th.
July 25th. If you guys have ever heard of Netflix, that's where you get it.
Yeah. So we'll see you next time.
Speaker 1 And if you want to email us a question,
Speaker 1 you can do it.
Speaker 1 Anything in the world because we are Blabber Mouse from F
Speaker 1 is is
Speaker 1 odyssey.com
Speaker 1 fly on the wall
Speaker 1
at odyssey.com fly on the wall at odyssey.com fly on the wall one word lowercase. Yep.
Fly on the wall one word lowercase at that little thing A U
Speaker 1 D
Speaker 1 A
Speaker 1 C C Y
Speaker 1 dot com fly on the wall at odyssey.com because hot Mail was taken.
Speaker 1 Hey guys, if you're loving this podcast, which you are, be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast app, give us a review, five-star rating, and maybe even share an episode that you've loved with a friend.
Speaker 1 If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe. We're on video now.
Speaker 1 Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey, an executive produced by Danny Carvey and David Spade, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman, Maddie Sprung-Kaiser, and Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey.
Speaker 1 Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman, and the show is produced and edited by Phil Sweet Tech. Booking by Cultivated Entertainment.
Speaker 1 Special thanks to Patrick Fogarty, Evan Cox, Maura Curran, Melissa Wester, Hilary Schuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gaynor, Sean Cherry, Kurt Courtney, and Lauren Vieira.
Speaker 1
Reach out with us any questions to be asked and answered on the show. You can email us at flyonthewall at odyssey.com.
That's A-U-D-A-C-Y-I.com.