Sydney Sweeney vs. Zendaya?! And Russian Trained Bears

Speaker 1 All right, cold mornings,

Speaker 1 holiday plans, endless to-do lists.

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Makes sense, and I'll use every day. You know what I mean? That's Quince.
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It's nutty comfortable, all without the high-end price tag.

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Speaker 2 I've been living in their cashmere sweaters lately. They hold up beautifully even through holiday chaos.
And Quince isn't just clothes. They've got amazing options for home, bath, kitchen, and travel.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. I picked up a few for myself and a few to gift, and it's all stuff people actually love.

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Speaker 1 We always preen and print, but that's fine. That's how we start.
We look, we get a feel for it. We see what's going on.
We go, all right.

Speaker 2 Right, exactly.

Speaker 2 I dare anyone to stare at themselves on a laptop for an hour. Yeah, I dare.
You won't like it. Kind of go like this or, huh?

Speaker 1 Listen, okay, so here's it. I'll start because we're going to get right into the stories.
This is

Speaker 1 kind of our new version. We're back.
We're doing things. We're on all video now.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 We're definitely going to do some fan questions at the end of these shows. And you can email your questions into flyonthewall at odyssey.com.
And that can be a written question, a

Speaker 1 voiced text, or a video.

Speaker 1 We're so dumb, man. We should not have a show.

Speaker 2 But then we'll play them or we'll read them. It'll be

Speaker 1 life advice, financial, anything.

Speaker 2 A new segment that I want to do.

Speaker 2 And I'll tell you more about it. It's like 30 seconds.
Okay.

Speaker 2 And now it's, and now it's time for shaggy news.

Speaker 2 Gee, Scoob, I don't think it was such a good idea to vacation in Tehran.

Speaker 2 Why not?

Speaker 2 Well, for one thing, Trump dropped a bunker buster on Ford O Mountain.

Speaker 2 Some people think the damage was minimum. Others think it was severe.
We got to get out of here. What are you doing here, dogging man? I can't get you.
We got to make

Speaker 2 the mystery van, Scoob. I don't know.

Speaker 2 Where's Velma? She's getting gangbanged. Keep running.
So I want the fans, anyone listening, to come in with different topics for Shaggy News.

Speaker 2 Because we need more news. We need more segments that'll come back and forth.

Speaker 2 Did you get the part where he goes, but Trump dropped a bunker buster on Florida Mountain

Speaker 2 and then the dog goes,

Speaker 2 minimum or severe?

Speaker 2 Some people think it's minimum damage.

Speaker 1 Actually, I didn't get that part. That's funny.

Speaker 2 I thought it minimum or severe. Some people thought it was minimum damage.
Other people think it's severe. We got to go, Scooby.
You come back here, kadamokaka.

Speaker 1 What if

Speaker 2 Scooby goes,

Speaker 2 it looked like the rocks pretty much smashed everything. How much nuclear stuff can take an avalanche? Well, that's a good question.
It's very hard to move radioactive material.

Speaker 2 It's heavy and hard to get to the other mountains.

Speaker 2 There were three bunker busters. One creates the hole and the other goes down the shaft.
So, anyway,

Speaker 2 made me laugh. The most innocent cartoon versus this.

Speaker 1 I like it. Well, we're off to a 10 out of 10.

Speaker 2 10 out of 10 on fly on the wall. I will tell you, we're going.

Speaker 1 Yeah, everybody, Superfly's gone. It's all fly on the wall.

Speaker 1 No one can wrap their head around it. And with what's going on in the world, it's just this is really the only place to go to find.

Speaker 2 You got to have some fun with it. You know, like

Speaker 2 Zodani, I had a hard time with the gonna be New York mayor's name. So it's not just because it's Zohan Mandani or not, Zohan.

Speaker 1 It's not Zohan.

Speaker 1 It's not waterboy. But it's Z-O.

Speaker 2 It's not Waterboy. It's one sand in the movie.

Speaker 2 Hey, Scoob, how do you pronounce the name of the

Speaker 2 next mayor of New York? I don't know.

Speaker 2 I was trying to give him a nickname like Eisenhower had Ike. There was Tricky Dick.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Obama was B.O., actually,

Speaker 2 occasionally.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Barack Obama. But for Zoe, Zohan, Zooman.

Speaker 2 Anyway, go ahead.

Speaker 1 Is it just Zoe? Do they call him Zoe?

Speaker 2 Zoe could be

Speaker 2 Zoe Man, you know, because it's Mandini. It's Zo, Zoe and Zohan, Mandini.

Speaker 2 Imagine him trying to pronounce my name. Dana Garney? And do you know?

Speaker 1 Oh, his has a lot more letters. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'd like to buy a vowel.

Speaker 2 I'd like to buy a vowel

Speaker 2 oh i will tell you quickly we're going right into the news but i didn't tell you that when i was eating on the road by the way i'm going are you near where am i going sonoma heather yeah no saratoga saratoga are you near that oh yeah you're are you playing the outdoor amphitheater yeah yeah yeah i've done that several times i did it with dennis and kevin once a couple times that place is gorgeous it's up on a mountain and the uh near silicon valley basically up in the red woods you wind your way up, and it's a winery.

Speaker 1 It's like a little two-lane street up there. And then it's like, it's almost like carved into the mountain.
It looks like Rome.

Speaker 2 For an outdoor theater, it's incredibly intimate.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's great. So that'll be two weeks from now, but you're welcome to a guest spot.
Okay. Other than that, when I was in the road this weekend,

Speaker 1 oh, we went to Chili's one night, which was a real treat. I like to treat everybody.
And this is a funny thing. Does this happen?

Speaker 2 Why don't you take everyone to Koi or something?

Speaker 1 That'll happen. I like how Chili.
I like how Dana Dana goes.

Speaker 2 Wait, did you say chilies?

Speaker 1 That was the treatment.

Speaker 2 Treating at chilies, you're not getting a...

Speaker 2 They're pretty reasonable, I hope, financially.

Speaker 1 No, I'm on the road. And so we just say,

Speaker 1 they always recommend, oh, when you're in Cleveland, you got to go to the spot. But, you know,

Speaker 1 it's too fast-moving. Like, I'm not going to have a luxurious seven-course meal.
We got to eat, get to the show, get ready.

Speaker 2 You want a branded one. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Unless we're going after, at least I know what I'm getting.
I like it. So we go in there.
And have you ever had this?

Speaker 1 You know, you sort of get overhelped because restaurants, they're happy to have you there. It's like Mr.
Carvey, we've got this. And then they go.

Speaker 2 They don't see David Spade and boom.

Speaker 2 They don't see anyone.

Speaker 1 So they go, hey, I'm the assistant night floor manager of this quadrant of the restaurant. If you need anything, by the way, they don't want any.
I go, yeah, A1.

Speaker 2 They're like,

Speaker 2 oh,

Speaker 1 hey, does anyone know if we have A1?

Speaker 1 So they don't really want anything. They just want to come over and say hi.
Anyway, so we have about four different people do that.

Speaker 1 And then we're eating and one guy leans over i think it's a total stranger he leans over

Speaker 1 near catherine because we're like on a booth and he goes

Speaker 1 hey i'm taking off guys

Speaker 1 and we go

Speaker 1 okay and he goes yeah i'm wrapping up uh i hung in there alexa to see you guys but uh you guys good got your chips i go yep and he goes yeah so i think i'm gonna cruise i'm like oh you work here i didn't know you know he was one he was one of the assistant managers that came over and then he comes and lets us down gently that he had to take

Speaker 2 well it probably a nice guy in his mind he's going

Speaker 2 hey don't worry babe saying the dishwasher eddie don't worry about it i got the back we got a celebrity out there remember tommy boy he's in a he's in a restaurant i got his back you know but i got to go soon i got to tell him that i got to leave and he's not going to take it lightly so you know you back me up on this right so he had a whole thing in his head but that is sounds like a very nice guy he's very nice and it was very funny because it took us all a second to go, does that guy work here?

Speaker 1 And they're like, yeah, he came up at the beginning. There's one of the six people that can't really go.
Because, you know, people come and say, hey, hi, hey, hi.

Speaker 2 Anyway, I'm leaving now.

Speaker 1 Listen, that's, yeah.

Speaker 1 I didn't know you were here, but now I'm taking off. So.
Anyway, that was fun. Chili's was fun.
Gigs were fun.

Speaker 2 Can I tell you my 10-second true story that's not funny about food on the road? Green Bay, playing Green Bay, Wisconsin. Yep.
Say to the promoter after, where's a good place to eat?

Speaker 2 And he goes, yeah, Ted's Steakhouse. They got real big food down there.
Big food. Yeah.
And over at Eddie's lasagna,

Speaker 2 they had really big food. You know, both those plays got real big food.
And I'm not kidding. That's exactly what I heard.

Speaker 2 And did you get big food? I don't know. I'm a miniature man.
Everywhere I go, my wife and I constantly have to, let's split it. We're never disappointed.

Speaker 2 It's like you're getting a turkey sandwich and it's the size of a watermelon, you know, and some fries.

Speaker 1 I mean, I went to a restaurant

Speaker 1 last night. By the way, I saw Drew Barrymore, Heather's favorite.

Speaker 2 She was eating there.

Speaker 1 She was hilariously cute. Um, she looked great.
Actually, no makeup on. She had like a baseball.
She looks so cute. Uh, so she was fun to see.

Speaker 1 And then we were ordering spaghetti, me and my friend, and they have, they have regular and large. Large was 130.

Speaker 2 And I'm like, for spaghetti?

Speaker 1 For spaghetti and gold balls? I mean, what is fucking happening? 130. I go, how big is it?

Speaker 2 And they're like, it's really big for 130 it's like this and who's gonna eat that is it that that's 130 i think this

Speaker 1 but dana it didn't it they go it could fit like three people i go

Speaker 1 it better

Speaker 2 well did you order it no dana no i don't i don't have dana carvey money

Speaker 2 yeah and i tell him my drew berry mark more so

Speaker 2 we never do the show

Speaker 2 yeah let's do what's it's 10 seconds shows you how sweet she is and it was so so we're at Sandler's, you know, DC thing, right? You know, when he got his Mark Twain award and she's backstage.

Speaker 2 And I said, yeah, I really like your show. You're a natural at that.
You're great. And she just paused with all sincerity, like, just went, really?

Speaker 2 You think so? And she's been on for like three years.

Speaker 2 And then later on, we're taking the picture and she just puts her hand on my leg, not in a sexual way, just very friendly. Let's have her back on.

Speaker 1 Yes, she's hilarious because I told her an embarrassing story, but it was funny.

Speaker 1 Okay, so let's hit right to the news. We're not right to the news.
Obviously, we didn't go right to it, but we would.

Speaker 2 Well, we had our little preamble.

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Speaker 1 Okay. Okay, here's one.

Speaker 1 This one is, we've heard these things about Bill Gates. Bill Gates finally releases his GM out, oh, mosquitoes.
I think it was Florida. Now, I thought this was odd because

Speaker 2 what

Speaker 1 do you have to know to be able to like I'm rich, but I'm not, I get to drop mosquitoes on people rich. Like, I can't operate on mosquitoes and they go, Dana, I think I've hit a money,

Speaker 1 you know, level where I can, I'm going to drop spiders on Arizona. Like, they're good ones.
I've trained them. I think they're going to eat the bad ones.

Speaker 1 So this always is peculiar how much money you can buy. He's not a scientist, right?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 Well, okay, they're genetically modified mosquitoes so they will not transmit diseases by biting people. Is that it?

Speaker 1 I think they,

Speaker 1 ideally, if the mosquito goes along with it, they bite a bad mosquito and then

Speaker 1 they die. But now you got the GMO ones that now want to run the show.
And I don't want any added mosquitoes. How about that?

Speaker 2 Well, I had seen some, I think it was on PBI. I saw a documentary about this, and they're interviewing Bill Gates.

Speaker 2 And he goes, well, you know, I really don't like mosquitoes, and I'm going to try to get rid of them. How much money will it take? Not much.
Maybe $2 billion.

Speaker 1 I know. I mean, if you got mosquito money, that's the worst Bill Gates impression.

Speaker 2 I know. It's kind of current at the front.
I don't know. It was a little germity.
I know. I apologize.

Speaker 1 No, it's good.

Speaker 2 I shouldn't apologize because I read one of the comments as I apologize all the time.

Speaker 1 Do not apologize for that.

Speaker 2 These people, man.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the comments really are pretty nice, but right toward the end, for some reason, they start to go, hey, by the way, get fucked. By the way, so that's that's at the very end, but I

Speaker 1 poo-poo that thing. That doesn't hurt me.

Speaker 2 I have an AI device, and I say, only read me comments that refer to David Spades. That's really comfortable.
And I watch.

Speaker 2 There's a lot of good ones in there. Oh, good.
Okay. There's doing good ones in there.

Speaker 1 All right. Let's move on from Mosquito Gate.
Let's go. Which I disapprove of, I'm going to say.

Speaker 1 Oh, this one is Pacers staff. Pacers just were in the finals.
They tell ESPN to stop filming an emotional TJ McConnell after the game seven loss. I thought of this during it when I was watching it.

Speaker 1 I'm like, hey, that's enough because this guy is really going to live with this forever because he did do well. You remember this kid? You watched this one.
He's unbelievable.

Speaker 2 I watched every single game. He's listed at six.
He's probably 5'10. Yeah.
He's the speediest guy on the floor. His stats were off the charts.

Speaker 1 Oh, even his mom is telling me.

Speaker 2 So now they're out in a hallway.

Speaker 1 How much crying can you do, though, to be honest?

Speaker 2 How do we know he's why are they following him? Get lost.

Speaker 1 Stop. I'm breastfeeding.
But watch. Yeah.
And the coach waves him off. But

Speaker 1 he had kind of a blunder in all the chaos. Did he come in for Halliburton or something?

Speaker 2 Well, he started playing more and more minutes, and then Halliburton went out. So he played more minutes

Speaker 1 in a game seven when everything

Speaker 2 locked and loaded, and they had won game six, so they had expectations to win the championship. I didn't, you know, because I was sort of like, okay, the game's over.

Speaker 2 So I didn't watch the ending part, but I don't think he did anything wrong. I think he played balls out.
I thought the guy was unbelievable as a off the bench.

Speaker 2 He scored more points, more rebounds, more assists than anyone coming off the bench in the history of the NBA Finals. Is that true? So he was crying from joy.

Speaker 1 No, because I know he got mobbed and he got caught up in a little scrum under the basket and he lost the ball and it was toward the end. And that one, I was like, oh.

Speaker 1 And then I think he went back and something else happened, like he got it stolen.

Speaker 2 Was it close enough for that to have made it?

Speaker 1 I don't think so, but I know that it just, I remember going, wow, because I didn't, I'd look away and then look up because I looked like it was getting over with.

Speaker 1 But I thought that he's going to think about that. And then when I saw him bawling, I don't even say crying, I say bawling one worse.

Speaker 1 I say, I go, I get it.

Speaker 1 That's game seven and you do something, even though all the good he did, you just feel like.

Speaker 2 I know. The one thing about our chosen career, which can be emotionally violent, we get a lot of chances.
You know,

Speaker 2 that is tough. You may, as an NBA player, you don't know if you'll ever get back to the NBA finals.

Speaker 2 Yeah. But a lot of props.

Speaker 1 We both cry a lot off camera.

Speaker 2 Well, a lot of times after the podcast. A lot of times I'm tearing up on camera.
Yes, you are. I have a cry filter that I can put on.

Speaker 1 You cry because you think a joke doesn't work or we skip something.

Speaker 2 It didn't work. I rushed Scooby-Doo.
I apologize for doing my Kermit the Frog Bill Gates impression.

Speaker 2 Well, geez, Dean, I think you need to go to a therapist, doesn't he, Scoob? Yes, he needs help. He seems a little off.
I'm doing Yoda at this point. Go ahead.
Yeah, Alance Yoda, too.

Speaker 2 we interrupt julie bowen the whole time i just saw one clip and i was like oof she's on the other uh sister show fly on the wall also that's what should be called flying the wall also well people should be happy because our thing is to interrupt each other and interrupt our guests without it where would we be

Speaker 1 yeah someone put in the comments on youtube stop interrupting julie and i go why start now that was actually it's nick schwartz and that idiot wrote that well

Speaker 2 I would just say there's a very fine line between a spirited conversation

Speaker 2 because you don't want the air to get out of the bloom where you're not responding in the moment.

Speaker 2 Because if I'm talking to you at a restaurant and you say, I have a flat tire, and also I go, wait a minute, you've got a flat tire? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But wait till you hear the next part.

Speaker 2 So it's organic and human to interrupt.

Speaker 1 Well, I wrote back with someone and said, they go, you're not a great interviewer.

Speaker 2 I go, we're not really interviewing.

Speaker 1 We're just bullshitting with someone that we like.

Speaker 2 It's a conversation. It's not a straight up, you know, 60-minutes interview.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's not Barb Walters. All right.
Well, we got out of that one. That was pretty good.
Okay, so what's the next story?

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. So here's what happens.
This lady gets porch pirated so many times, she fills her box with black widows and then just says, whatever happens, happens. This guy gets it.

Speaker 1 Now he wants to sue her. This is what black widows do, Heather.

Speaker 12 Texas man is fighting for his life

Speaker 12 after he stole a package off of a woman's front porch, only to go back to his car, open it up, and see that it was full of black widow spiders.

Speaker 12 This woman was tired of this man coming by and stealing all of her packages before she could get home from work. So she made a little package that was just for him.

Speaker 12 When he popped that package open in his car, a bunch of spiders came flying out and they bit him all over his face.

Speaker 2 And then he started swelling up and getting nauseous.

Speaker 12 So he had to go to the ER. And then he called the police and would like to file assault charges against her for setting up that booby trap.
So the police contact her and they're like, Did you put a

Speaker 12 package full of black widow spiders up on your front porch? And she's like, Oh, no, those black widows are my pets. Were you able to find them?

Speaker 12 I saw that they were missing, and I just had them in a box because they like

Speaker 12 in there while I'm at work. And the police were like, Oh, this guy, he stole the box, and then they bit his face and he whacked a couple of them.
So they're no longer with us.

Speaker 12 And the woman's like, He killed my pets. That's completely unwarranted.
I'd like to file charges.

Speaker 2 Whoa, double.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 1 Crime of the cinch.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 was it somewhat credible that she left him on a box on the porch? She just set, she set the trap, no pun intended. Yeah.
Leaving the box. The guy took the box rather than she put him in the car.

Speaker 1 Right. They put him by the door and he's all

Speaker 2 going to steal everything. And then he opened up and they attacked his face.

Speaker 1 And that was like the sixth time he stole from her.

Speaker 1 So, I mean, people just wait for the Amazon guy, follow the Amazon guy up to your door and steal it and no one the amazon guy can't is not going to gun him down i mean no one

Speaker 2 in my previous residence in west hollywood if there was a bag outside the gate or a package broad daylight gone i'd give it less than a minute wow really oh yeah I don't know it's there, but anything, if someone had said, I left outside the gate, I go, they go, when?

Speaker 2 Oh, like 10 minutes ago. I go, I've gone.
So the people trolling everywhere, following Amazon trucks, and then right afterwards, grabbing what they can.

Speaker 1 I think what happened is citizens are going to start fighting back. So there's so much crime that goes unpunished that it will turn a little like

Speaker 1 Wild West where people get shot, people get hit, people get beat up because by regular people, because they're just finally can't take it anymore.

Speaker 1 It's like when you see fights at McDonald's and stuff, people walk in, they're mad they don't have their sauce, they're mad they didn't do their order.

Speaker 1 They climb over and start beating the shit out of employees. That's the most infuriating because these people are going to work trying.

Speaker 1 And the people that aren't working come in and beat them up and harass them. And you go, and then the people inevitably get fired.
And you go, how much shit can you take when you work at those places?

Speaker 1 And just if everyone's on perfect behavior, it's a tough job.

Speaker 1 But don't go in there and make fun of those people and they're up early trying to work and then get beat up, get spit on, get food thrown at them, and they got to deal with it.

Speaker 1 They can't really fight back.

Speaker 2 I'm with you.

Speaker 2 Because I was a dishwasher and a busboy and a waiter when when my rent was like a hundred bucks and so the respect i have for people doing these jobs 40 hours a week not it turned into a life of crime but i think this spider thing might catch on i think it's an actually

Speaker 2 good good way uh to um to just she sued him what a burn

Speaker 1 uh okay next one next next let's see

Speaker 1 Hold on, hold on.

Speaker 1 Oh, this is a fight. These guys are fighting with bull whips.

Speaker 1 It's a weird form of fighting. Let's see.

Speaker 2 Oh, Indiana Jones, basically.

Speaker 1 I can't hear the cracking.

Speaker 2 Wow, they're whipping each other with... This is like an S ⁇ M thing.

Speaker 2 With bare chested.

Speaker 1 It's a little sticky, but...

Speaker 2 Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 How much would that hurt? Shirt off.

Speaker 2 whip oh yeah oh can you hear it yeah

Speaker 2 oh he put pulled down his pants and let him whip his so what the what am i looking at oh that guy got popped i i don't know i it has to hurt way more in their acting because the guy pulled down his pants and had him whip his ass did you see that

Speaker 2 did you miss that yeah i did see it but i maybe he likes it i don't know I don't know what these guys like. I don't think this is an organized event.
I don't either.

Speaker 1 I don't know if this is Dana White's new thing or not. Or they're wearing goggles and they lose their eye.

Speaker 2 But how could yeah, I couldn't take that.

Speaker 1 I could not take that.

Speaker 1 If you jokingly hit someone lightly, it hurts so bad.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm just thinking in terms of branding, because they have, what do they call the thing where you get, you can free slap? What do they call that? Hit face or? Oh, slap fight? Slap fight.

Speaker 2 What would you call this? Whiplash? Whip fight? Whip fight?

Speaker 2 It doesn't really, yeah, because it's a bull whip, right? It's a big leather strapping whip, and you're whipping the shit out of somebody with no shirt on. Gay bar?

Speaker 2 Whoops.

Speaker 1 No, that's no. But that guy did pull down his pants.

Speaker 2 I don't know. That guy did pull down his pants, so we have some cred on this.

Speaker 2 I'm not going to apologize for this one. No.

Speaker 1 All right, next one. Let's see.

Speaker 1 In 2006, psychiatrists asked, Okay, this is just a rounding. How many patients have you cured?

Speaker 12 How many patients have you been able to cure so far?

Speaker 12 I would say one.

Speaker 2 How many people have I cured? Well, there are no real cures right now in psychiatry.

Speaker 2 The idea of any, you asked me about the issue about how many people I've cured. Yes, we do.
I don't know that any of us are completely cured of anything.

Speaker 1 I have to cut.

Speaker 1 It's not a good ad for these psychiatrists.

Speaker 2 As long as they're not going 400 bucks an hour, I'm okay with the bad, the shitty record.

Speaker 2 If you owe for it, it'll be $400,

Speaker 2 you know.

Speaker 2 Still no cures.

Speaker 2 Well, there's a lot of, there's a lot of

Speaker 1 maybe medicine. But yeah, I don't know if,

Speaker 1 I mean, people tell me to go to one, obviously, everyone I've ever dated. And they go, go to a psychiatrist.

Speaker 1 And I say, oh,

Speaker 1 okay. And they go, I've got a great one.
I've been going to for 13 years. I go,

Speaker 1 Well, that already, it's like when you go to my chiropractor, I've been going to for 27 years. I said, I don't know if, so no one's getting actually fixed.

Speaker 2 No one's getting fixed. I do think it's, you know, cognitive behavioral therapy is at least not curing, but it's like, instead of doing this, do this.

Speaker 2 Instead of thinking this, think this. Should I tell this person to fuck off? Yes.

Speaker 2 And then you do it. So that's actionable, but sort of my dad said this.
My mom, I don't know. I don't know.
You can change someone's brain.

Speaker 1 You know what? It's weird. Because I went to one and I was talking a lot, obviously,

Speaker 1 per my brand, but

Speaker 1 they just listen the whole time. And after the third time, I go, where are the fixes? You know, no, no, just talk.
I'm like, are you even awake?

Speaker 1 Like, are you, are we going to do a whole season of me talking? And then at the very last episode, you tell me what you think or how does it work? There's no, I thought there'd be more back and forth.

Speaker 1 And I think that's right. I think that's wrong.
Why don't you think about it like this?

Speaker 1 Because I would say I think I'm maybe out of line on this thinking. And they're like, when why do you think that? I'm like, well, I'm looking for you.
I already think what I think.

Speaker 2 It's like comedians, you know,

Speaker 2 it's a scalability. I mean, some therapists, you know, I tried a few and then I found one that I thought was helpful because it was so in-your-face advice.

Speaker 2 But, you know, I don't know. I don't know.
It's kind of like a scam, I guess, in a way. I knew someone who that was trained to be a psychologist or a therapist.

Speaker 2 She said her first day of therapy, a guy came in and said, hey, man, I've been here for almost 45 minutes. I don't get a banger.
If I don't get a banger the next two minutes, I ain't coming back.

Speaker 2 That's what he said. On her very first patient.
What does it mean?

Speaker 2 It means some kind of big Mount Rushmore sort of epiphanal thing to say.

Speaker 2 This is your problem.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's it. Yeah.
So I need a banger, man. You're sitting here bullshitting me, charging me 400 bucks an hour.
I need a banger.

Speaker 1 Yeah, too many singles. Give me a fucking home run.

Speaker 2 That's what I think. Sometimes, you know, when I'm in the wings and you're doing stand-up, yeah, I'll just turn to the crew and go, he needs a banger, man.

Speaker 1 That's what the audience says to each other.

Speaker 2 No, you kill all the time.

Speaker 2 Bring Dana back on.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's do one. Let's do more.
Come on. Not one more, more.
Oh, Dana, we haven't done any noises lately.

Speaker 2 I know.

Speaker 2 Why would AI do this?

Speaker 1 This sounds mean. AI creates obese elements.

Speaker 2 Well, AI just does as it's told, right?

Speaker 1 I know, but there's so many other things you can make AI.

Speaker 1 That's not fake, is it?

Speaker 2 Well, that's AI.

Speaker 1 Had to bring that up.

Speaker 2 There's never been a more appropriate use of that sound.

Speaker 2 AI is cruel.

Speaker 1 AI is really not like a friend.

Speaker 2 Who was the person who thought of of that? Hey, guess what? Shut up, Brian.

Speaker 2 Let's tell the AI to make an obese woman go backward of a high dive and have a whole building collapse.

Speaker 1 You're exactly right, because everyone says, I'm really good at AI. I have chat GPT of AI.
And really they go, hey, put Joe Dirt doing fireworks as a baby. And then it looks funny.

Speaker 2 And you go, all you did was say it.

Speaker 1 And then AI did all the work. They find the script.
They find me. They make it.
But they go, look what I made. I go, that's not really Michelangelo there.

Speaker 2 We probably talked this before, but the writing's on the wall. I think within two or three years, I could make apocalypse now by prompting an AI back and forth.

Speaker 2 And it'll look like helicopters and armies.

Speaker 2 And that's right around the corner. So I don't know what Hollyweird's going to do with that.

Speaker 2 You don't need to get thousands of people out on the thing. You could say a thousand people on horseback, you know, going full speed across the desert.

Speaker 2 And then you'll see it and it'll look just like a movie, perfectly real.

Speaker 1 Someone's going to send us AI

Speaker 1 Scooby and Shaggy in Iran.

Speaker 2 I don't think we should have vacation in Tehran, Scoob. My God.
Well, Trump Wild bounced a bunker buster on Forlone Mountain.

Speaker 2 I had a bunker buster at Pincho's Tacos the other night.

Speaker 2 I think you have a better Scooby than me. I call it Shaggy.

Speaker 2 I'm doing Scooby and

Speaker 2 Shaggy. Well, everyone knows, don't they,

Speaker 2 Age of

Speaker 2 that Casey Kasim did Shaggy?

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 2 But he did do the hook of cracking because he talked like this. I don't know.
We got to get out of here, Scope.

Speaker 2 That kind of gear he went to.

Speaker 1 That was, you know. Heather, you didn't know until just now?

Speaker 1 Oh, Heather just woke up. That's a good one to know.

Speaker 2 Heather has our schedule for when we record these things, and then she puts nap time right next to it.

Speaker 1 She goes, You ready? Open laptop, cover her face.

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Speaker 1 Okay, what's the next one?

Speaker 2 Bonker Buster. Okay, there you go.
A bunker buster.

Speaker 2 This is a bear doing something.

Speaker 1 I don't know what. Let's see.

Speaker 1 Russians get along with bears, I think, more than regular people.

Speaker 2 Oh, they wrestle them.

Speaker 1 They fight them. Okay, but this bear

Speaker 1 is real. It's not AI.

Speaker 1 Hey, have a little Slim Jim. Now,

Speaker 1 do the trick we talked about.

Speaker 1 So he can stand. He gives him a treat.

Speaker 1 Sniffs the bit. He's like, and then he's.
Am I a clown to you?

Speaker 2 He's like, do it. We're filming.
What does he want?

Speaker 1 He's doing good so far.

Speaker 2 Oh, wow.

Speaker 2 Standing up. He looks like a person.
That is cool. That's pretty good.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 1 He's biting it. It's like a hula hoop looking thing.

Speaker 1 There's no way.

Speaker 1 He's got it around him.

Speaker 2 It's like a hula hoop. He's going to do it like a hula hoop.
And then dance.

Speaker 1 He's biting a hula hoop.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Heather's worried that the bear doesn't like no, immediately wants to give him a treat.

Speaker 2 Otherwise, he'll kill him.

Speaker 1 I know Rush and he's saying, I will kill you if you don't do the goddamn hula hoop.

Speaker 1 All right. Take a five.
You did great. Got it.

Speaker 2 If only humans are like that, they're acting crazy. Just give them a little treat.
Come on, calm down. Oh, the show is going nowhere.
Lauren, please have a little bit of candy.

Speaker 2 Oh, Mercy.

Speaker 1 Lauren, step into a slim gym.

Speaker 2 Lauren's down to making noise.

Speaker 1 That pair is back in his dressing room going, we got two more shows today.

Speaker 2 Well, it is amazing. What animal can't, could you give a great white shark a treat and kind of hang out with it?

Speaker 2 What animal can't be. I saw a girl petting sharks the other night, Dana, and I was like,

Speaker 1 I was like, wrong. I was like, no, it was like this: wrong.

Speaker 2 Issue number four.

Speaker 1 Let's do McLaughlin next week.

Speaker 2 I wouldn't want to do that.

Speaker 2 Do they want? I'll do any of the oldies. Yeah.
Issue number one.

Speaker 2 David, Spades, Butler, Spotlight,

Speaker 1 more tone, teeny tiny tunes on TV.

Speaker 2 Yeah. That's a real one.
Can we play some of our SNO greatest hits on this or is it copyright?

Speaker 2 Even if we get a permission from Lauren?

Speaker 2 I don't know if I gave it.

Speaker 1 Marcy.

Speaker 1 Okay, next one. Let's see.

Speaker 2 Next one. Issue one.
Girl with an angel's jacket on with a green. What will the story be about? Green coup.
Let me look what it's about.

Speaker 1 Act of restraint that will be remembered for centuries. I hope this is funny.
Let's see. Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay, she's eating. Oh, eating in front of her dogs.
Her dogs look at her spaghetti. They really want it.
Yeah. That one really.
Oh, he's making a funny face. He really wants it.

Speaker 1 Look at the white one's teeth.

Speaker 2 He's mad. But he's kind of tilted away as he growls.

Speaker 1 Because he's been taught not to eat it.

Speaker 2 But they're freaking out. Oh, they're just growling at the owner.

Speaker 1 I don't even know if I need this loud piano. If the dog was playing the piano, it'd be a little better.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we could turn the volume off on this one.

Speaker 2 It's It's kind of funny. I mean, so she puts the food down and then she says, Don't eat it.
They start kind of turning away from each other and growling with their teeth.

Speaker 1 Because they're so fucking mad they can't eat it. They're like, Where is this chick? And

Speaker 1 why can't we eat it? They don't understand.

Speaker 2 So, what was going to happen if they eat it?

Speaker 1 Um,

Speaker 1 I mean, she just changes a bit. Yeah, yeah, we bring out the two guys.

Speaker 2 The two guys come out of the closet door.

Speaker 2 Come on, Clam.

Speaker 2 Don't make me drop my trousers.

Speaker 1 Here's my buttocks. You want to try again? Nope.

Speaker 2 I don't feel your lacerations, Clem. Look out, funny boy.
I injected myself with butt numb right before we started this here, Rubio Dan.

Speaker 1 Butt numb?

Speaker 2 Butt numb. I'm doing something you might have done.

Speaker 2 And I got wiener numb, too. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 So whack away, cowboy.

Speaker 1 Try these buttocks.

Speaker 2 No, that was part of Brokeback Mountain. Remember when Jake Gilligala, they had a kind of a fight?

Speaker 1 I didn't see that movie, Dana.

Speaker 2 You never saw Brokeback Mountain?

Speaker 2 It actually is a great movie, and there's a lot for you to learn by watching it. So check it out.

Speaker 1 I'll see the one with Margo Robbie and Sidney Sweeney.

Speaker 1 Scissor Mountain.

Speaker 2 It's funny how it... quickly the culture moves like Margot Robbie and Sidney Sweeney.
They're fairly recent, but they're like Raquel Welch or Elizabeth Taylor. Just on going back to the 60s.

Speaker 1 It's a good, recognizable name, and Sidney Sweeney is a good showbiz name.

Speaker 2 Well, for at least two years of her being on the scene, because her name was Sidney Sweeney, I just assumed she was British because Sweeney Todd, it just sounds like Sweeney Todd.

Speaker 2 Okay, I've got a good I'm Swidney. I'm Sidney Sweeney.

Speaker 1 You know, I've got a good buster for you.

Speaker 1 We should go to, we'll go to the phones that we don't have, but we'll go to the YouTube. Who's a bigger star right now, Sidney Sweeney or Zendaya?

Speaker 2 What movies is Aara Zendaya? Who's that?

Speaker 1 Sidney Sweeney or Zendaya. Zendaya is in Euphoria with her.

Speaker 2 Oh, I see.

Speaker 1 She came out a little bigger than Sidney on Euphoria.

Speaker 1 She's in Dune. She's in two Dunes, huge movies.

Speaker 2 She is absolutely great, first of all. Absolutely great.
But

Speaker 2 Sidney Sweeney, it's a in our culture.

Speaker 1 Is it the boobs, the difference?

Speaker 2 Her whole look and the boobs. I mean, women like to look at women, not necessarily in a lesbian way, but they like.
So her physicality is sort of the latest.

Speaker 2 They would call them pin-up girls in tight sweaters. She does have that pin-up girl.

Speaker 2 So she has this playful, fun thing. They're completely different talents.

Speaker 2 But if she was a British girl, she'd say,

Speaker 2 stop it, Mr. Henderson.
Every time you're teaching me, you're looking at me, boobies.

Speaker 2 If Sidney Sweeney was British, quit looking at me, knocking news.

Speaker 1 What's a good old

Speaker 1 Four Weddings and a Funeral or something?

Speaker 2 Well, who was a movie? Is that a British movie? Who was a sex symbol, male and female, in the 90s? I mean, Brad Pitt just started or the 80s. Richard Gere was like a leading man.

Speaker 2 The women back there, Farrah Fawcett. Yeah, yeah.
You know, it's just the culture moves. Right now, you're at the top of your game as an international comedian.
International comedian.

Speaker 2 20 years from now, who's going to be the next David Spade?

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 1 it's everyone's goal.

Speaker 1 But Sidney Sweeney's and I are both huge stars.

Speaker 2 Both

Speaker 1 considered gorgeous.

Speaker 1 Big careers.

Speaker 1 I don't know for sure. I cannot tell you.

Speaker 2 Well, I'll tell you one thing. Margot Robbie,

Speaker 2 I was on a plane, watched a movie that didn't do well. God, who did it? It was sort of set in the 1930s, 1930s.

Speaker 1 No, I remember that one.

Speaker 2 Do you remember that one?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Babylon.

Speaker 2 Babylon. I watched it and the movie had some flaws, I thought, only that.

Speaker 1 I think Brad's in it too.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 But she is so spectacular in the movie. I think the movie came out so hot.
And I think a lot of people are like, what is going on? I sort of went with it because I knew what they were trying to do.

Speaker 2 You know, that sort of Sodom and Gomorrah. But she's so amazing in that movie that I might put her up there.

Speaker 1 You might let her on the podcast?

Speaker 2 Last time in Hollywood. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Let her on the podcast. You'll open the gates and let her on.

Speaker 2 I have in development a movie with Sendaya, Sidney, and Margot.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And it's, it's, it should be nine to to five, and you're the bad boss.

Speaker 2 Oh, I could be dab new coleman. Yeah, I could get a short haircut, pool, a mustache on, and be the office dick.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Heather, who would you pick?

Speaker 1 I always thought Zendaya was a bigger star, but I have to say, in the last year, I don't know. You really have, that's a thinker.
That's a real thinker. I think they have different fan.

Speaker 12 They have a shared fan base. Yeah.
And then they have separate fan bases as well.

Speaker 1 Both pretty huge, though, I have to say. But I also saw Challengers, which she was good into.

Speaker 2 Well, the one thing you find out sometimes is like you don't.

Speaker 1 Sydney was in White Lotus, yeah.

Speaker 2 Doesn't sell

Speaker 2 Selena Gomez, you're just going, oh, she's cool. She's great with, you know, Steve Martin or Martin Short, and she sings and everything.
Oh, she has a billion Instagram followers.

Speaker 2 I mean, who has the bigger following on social media between Sydney? I'm going to guess or Mark.

Speaker 1 Let's see what the numbers are. We're running some numbers.

Speaker 2 Let's go to the tape.

Speaker 1 Let's go to the phones. Let's look at a clip.

Speaker 2 Let's go to the tape. There, Sydney, right there.
With a low-come. What do you want to guess?

Speaker 1 I guess Sendaya has

Speaker 2 kind of a teen thing. Sydney, 25%.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit. Sydney has 25 million.
This is Instagram. Instagram.

Speaker 1 Is Indaya higher or lower?

Speaker 1 178 million. 178 million?

Speaker 1 There's our fucking answer.

Speaker 2 Whoa.

Speaker 1 No one was ready for that.

Speaker 2 No one was. Well, I believe that Sendaya, I don't know what their ages are, but sort of trends toward teenage girls in a way.

Speaker 1 They both do.

Speaker 1 You're saying Sydney has more dudes?

Speaker 2 And a little bit older. I know they might be the same age, but I feel like she's kind of with, what's that guy, Glenn, Glenn Shirty off? Glenn Shirt off.

Speaker 1 Disney Nickelodeon. Oh, she was? Oh, Zendaya was on it.

Speaker 1 Was it Disney? I didn't know.

Speaker 1 Was a Disney star, so she built up some fans. But I think Sydney came off of a Euphoria slower and then did, what did you just say she did?

Speaker 1 White Lotus, which is another monster. So she kind of gradually got up and then blew it wide open.
But yeah, Glenn Powell. Glenn Powell's

Speaker 2 shirt off. Yeah, that guy's fit.

Speaker 2 I would never put a shirt on if I look like him, ever.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't own a shirt. I wouldn't do an ad for shirts.

Speaker 2 I wouldn't even look at a shirt. If you wore a shirt, I'd try to take a swing at you.

Speaker 1 I'd barely wear pants.

Speaker 1 You'd have to talk me into it.

Speaker 1 All right, let's do another one, then we'll get out of here.

Speaker 2 Let's do another Hollywood one.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're killing it. We got a lot of takes.
Okay, this is what?

Speaker 2 Uh,

Speaker 2 consumers.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's just see what this is. I don't even know what it is.
Oh, is it a scene from Scarface? Is it a play? Oh, it's a play.

Speaker 2 A play.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 15 You do coke and you kill people. That's wonderful, Tony.

Speaker 15 I got a fing joint for a wife.

Speaker 2 Okay,

Speaker 2 you son of a

Speaker 2 kid who'll be with you. Especially.

Speaker 2 Look at that. I'm trying to, I mean, is this real? Why would the

Speaker 1 play?

Speaker 1 I like that cocaine is popcorn.

Speaker 2 I know, but why would they let them swear? But it's hysterical.

Speaker 2 Look at you, ma'am. Look at you.
That's you.

Speaker 2 Oh, shit.

Speaker 1 Oh, I didn't know. I forgot about that part.
That's pretty heavy.

Speaker 2 I don't know. There's a lot of shooting.

Speaker 1 That's the girl with the crazy hair.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. The sister.
That's the oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 He had a whole weird thing for his sister.

Speaker 2 Look at the security cameras.

Speaker 2 That was. Wow.

Speaker 2 Oh, that's his gun. Oh, my gosh.

Speaker 2 Here it goes. You want to f me?

Speaker 15 You f the best. Probably

Speaker 15 say hello to my little friend.

Speaker 15 See that you cockroaches.

Speaker 2 Cockroaches. Take that, you cockroaches.

Speaker 2 Oh, God, they got a lot of extras.

Speaker 2 I want to go to a time machine and have that be me in fourth grade.

Speaker 1 I want to see this play.

Speaker 2 Where's Michelle Schwefer? We had to do Dr. Doolittle.

Speaker 1 Look at it help him with his gun. Bring him in.

Speaker 1 Gun him down with a flamethrower or whatever he does. Oh, no, this guy's gonna get him.
Tony's still dying.

Speaker 2 He's gonna,

Speaker 2 he lasts a long time. They got

Speaker 1 unreal.

Speaker 1 He walked up because he could not miss that last shot because that was the closer.

Speaker 2 Seriously, what school lets the kids go, what the fuck you want, man? Hey, Love to me, man. Say hello.

Speaker 2 Say love to my little friend, you motherfuckers.

Speaker 1 Pulls out the squirrel.

Speaker 2 So someone's asking, was that in America?

Speaker 2 I don't know. Because I think I think it's

Speaker 2 a problem.

Speaker 2 I'm a political person.

Speaker 2 I want my fucking human rights.

Speaker 1 That was Brentwood School. I just was just in.

Speaker 2 Brentwood High? Yeah, Beverly Hills High. God, can you imagine how much fun

Speaker 2 those kids had between that?

Speaker 2 Swearing with fake guns and everything oh my god and they're and they like get free reign you can say it because he's like my character says it hey how about some pinocho they're like well that's not in the script well they're taking the script from the movie i don't think it was a play ever it should be a broadway play and i know who's gonna play tony montago man

Speaker 2 oh

Speaker 2 i like this clip because it lit lit up the tony inside of you that's what i do man look you like to get on a get on a computer and do a show you call that fly on the wall you used to call that super fly super fly away like a little birdess, man.

Speaker 1 That little kid had to go like this. You want some fucking popcorn?

Speaker 2 You want some popcorn? Oh, he had a whole thing of popcorn stuff.

Speaker 1 That was the cocaine.

Speaker 2 You want some popcorn?

Speaker 1 No, take my popcorn.

Speaker 2 Don't take my popcorn, man.

Speaker 2 All right, let's end on that one.

Speaker 1 That's so funny.

Speaker 2 It's so cool. Yeah, that was great.
All right, we did great. We did everyone who sent the clips in.

Speaker 1 Yeah, everybody, thank you. And everyone, thanks to us, especially.
And

Speaker 1 thanks to Dana for being friends. And

Speaker 1 we'll see you next week. So now, you can write in flying the wall at odyssey.com.

Speaker 1 Questions, goofiness,

Speaker 1 or

Speaker 1 audible stuff we can answer. And then

Speaker 1 this is the first one we did that came on on a Monday.

Speaker 2 Is that right?

Speaker 2 Okay. All right, great.
We did great.

Speaker 1 Okay, thanks, everybody. and thanks for tuning in.
We'll see you next time.

Speaker 2 Thanks for sharing. See you later, buddy.

Speaker 2 Thanks.

Speaker 1 Hey, guys, if you're loving this podcast, which you are, be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast app, give us a review, five-star rating, and maybe even share an episode that you've loved with a friend.

Speaker 2 If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe. We're on video now.

Speaker 1 Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey, an executive produced by Danny Carvey and David Spade, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman, Maddie Sprung-Kaiser, and Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey.

Speaker 2 Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman, and the show is produced and edited by Phil Sweet Tech.

Speaker 1 Booking by Cultivated Entertainment.

Speaker 2 Special thanks to Patrick Fogarty, Evan Cox, Maura Curran, Melissa Wester, Hillary Schuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gaynor, Sean Cherry, Kurt Courtney, and Lauren Vieira.

Speaker 1 Reach out with us any questions to be asked and answered on the show. You can email us at flyonthewall at odyssey.com.
That's A-U-D-A-C-Y.com.