SUPERFLY #72 - Kings and Queens

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Speaker 1 Give it up for Chicago.

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Speaker 1 Let's slide.

Speaker 2 Okay, so I went on the road, Dana, and this is where everyone's riveted and glued to their podcast.

Speaker 1 Like, oh,

Speaker 2 weekend 4,000 of Spade telling some dumb road story. Yes, it is.

Speaker 1 What if it is? I love you on the road. I don't know if you love you on the road, but when I hear that you're on the road, it just lives my day.
I don't know why.

Speaker 2 It's fun to hear from your chariot and your throne and your ranch, but when I'm out there grinding.

Speaker 2 So I go out there. I did a whole Ohio run.
So it was three cities in Ohio. One I do not know of.
It's called Newark. Had a hot little theater.

Speaker 1 Nice airport. It's kind of a, you know what?

Speaker 2 It's a small town. It's not, no, not Newark where all the planes crash.

Speaker 1 This is Newark, Ohio.

Speaker 1 Newark, Ohio? Oh, excuse me.

Speaker 2 That's what I was saying.

Speaker 1 I was just playing Cleveland, Montana. So anyway, go ahead.

Speaker 2 Exactly. That's what happened.
I go, even people in Newark are going, are we in New Jersey or are we in Ohio? I don't understand what's going on.

Speaker 1 I don't trust anything they say.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Then I went to Dallas, Arizona.
Joe keeps going.

Speaker 2 I like Cleveland, Montana better.

Speaker 1 Cleveland, Montana. Probably real.

Speaker 2 You can't beat that one. So,

Speaker 2 by the way, I love this. When did this plant grow back behind you?

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 I'm a horticulturalist. I like nature.
I'm a corticocalist. I'm a corticocalist.

Speaker 2 I'm a corchococcalist.

Speaker 1 Look, apparently, having knickknacks and plants behind you when you do a podcast exponentially pleases the audience.

Speaker 1 It blows up the audience. I had no knickknacks.
Now I've got that little special. Plus, I want everyone to guess.
What is in that fly on the wall thing? Email. And I won't move what I put in there.

Speaker 1 And next week,

Speaker 1 if you win, you'll

Speaker 1 guess what is in that. I'll reveal it on the next super fly.
Oh, shit. So email us

Speaker 1 or comment on us and guess.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I don't even know if there's any way to get a hold of us, but do it. And, oh, and YouTube, maybe they can do it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Also, the people, what they say is they watch the whole podcast and they don't mention one joke. They go,

Speaker 2 Dana's drawer has weird handles. And you go.
That's all you got from this whole motherfucking thing?

Speaker 1 Hey, man, this is our core audience.

Speaker 1 These are people who love us.

Speaker 1 They see the details. The drawer handles are the biggest thing.
Look, I don't understand what this new art form is, but I'll tell you one thing.

Speaker 1 This morning, I saw more short films done by chat GBT or whatever, and it's getting weird.

Speaker 1 You really can make a film on your laptop now.

Speaker 2 Do they need us for anything or are we sort of obsolete? We've got a full week left, I'm sure.

Speaker 1 Well, the skill set is learning how to talk to the robot. You prompt it.

Speaker 1 David Spade and Theo Vaughn are running away from an army of 10,000 people. And then you'll see it.
You don't have to get the 10,000 people.

Speaker 2 I mean, that's kind of fun to see that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's kind of fun to have the power to go, Spade chased by Godzilla in Scottsdale.

Speaker 1 Spade journeys to the center of the earth in a spaceship or center of the universe in a spaceship. So anyway, it's just coming.
I'm just saying.

Speaker 1 Look out.

Speaker 2 They go, Spade goes to do a show in Ohio and doesn't bomb.

Speaker 2 And Chat BT goes, I can't come up with that.

Speaker 1 I can't do that. Or something.
I actually tried it this morning.

Speaker 1 Spade gets five standing ovations. And I waited 10 minutes for seeing you get the standing ovation.
And then it just came up, skull and crossbones.

Speaker 2 I don't know what that meant, but the chat GPT couldn't pull it off. They go.

Speaker 1 It's GPT about you once.

Speaker 2 Oh, Heather jumped in. She asked Chat GPT if Dana was in a gang because he's wearing it.
I asked about your comedy and they said that you were, they gave you really good comments.

Speaker 2 Oh, they gave me comments. She asked, what does David Spade do? Or what did you say?

Speaker 1 What's his comedy about?

Speaker 2 What's his comedy about?

Speaker 2 Oh, he crunches leaves and walks in circles.

Speaker 2 That's good stuff.

Speaker 1 Positive stuff. I put it in.
I said, is David Spade funny? And it just gave me an emoji like.

Speaker 2 It gave you this guy?

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 2 I mean, some people say so.

Speaker 1 I don't get it. Some people say so.

Speaker 2 So GPT, we don't get it in the robot. Here's what you have to learn if you're in chat GPT.
You got to learn how to say down robot, down robot, because they can get out of hand.

Speaker 2 I saw a girl look like a robot. I told Heather, she had so much Botox, her forehead is a little round, and then she had paint on eyebrows.
I go,

Speaker 2 looks like something from iRobot. You know, we're starting to look all the same.
It's all bad.

Speaker 1 We're trying to say robot. Our goal is to say robot 100 times this episode.

Speaker 1 And we're halfway there.

Speaker 1 I'll take a win.

Speaker 2 Hang on. We haven't done this yet, Dana.

Speaker 2 One of my shows in Cleveland was right next to a clinic.

Speaker 2 Dana, guess what?

Speaker 1 I ordered you something else online. Where is things I do for Dana?

Speaker 2 I don't have it yet, but Heather and I are ordering it because I go, I saw some other doohickey. I go, oh, yeah, we got to have it for Dana.

Speaker 1 Wait a minute, I am a minimalist, as you know. I don't have, I don't want anything, but I really want that fucking thing because

Speaker 1 whoever invented that sound was it the 20s or the 30s?

Speaker 2 You know, it worked still.

Speaker 1 It's so perfect. And after you make love with someone, you put that on, and so

Speaker 1 they go,

Speaker 2 you said your wiener was going to go straight up. I go, yeah, I've said it before, but take a look.
Camera pans down.

Speaker 1 No wonder Debbie Downer was a hit.

Speaker 2 So she goes like this.

Speaker 2 She had a funny. Now, Dana, I would get to how I stayed next to the Cleveland Clinic and it was tubulated into my hotel with another hospital.
So you could walk because it's cold, you know?

Speaker 1 Right. And

Speaker 2 what happened was it was like an ant farm and all these sick people were just coming into my hotel

Speaker 2 because I was in between. So I'm like the nice hotel

Speaker 2 hospital bed, basically.

Speaker 1 So the hotel on both sides and a tube takes it by through your hotel.

Speaker 2 So a clinic, which is very well known, and then like a hospital or a university.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, Cleveland Clinic. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Right, very nice. And then they have tubes because it's so cold out, they're smart, like the second floor or third floor.
You walk around the city, you can sort of connect, which is such a great idea.

Speaker 2 We should do it in Arizona because it's so hot, but it's cold there. So you do that.

Speaker 2 So when I get on the third floor every day, I'm like, I don't know if this is a normal hotel, everyone's pushing an IV.

Speaker 2 So, I go, What's going on? They go, Ah, we got some spillage from the spillover, yeah. So,

Speaker 2 yeah, because you know, it's just by the way, germ, and no offense, but germs, obviously, everywhere. And then, doctor's on there, and everyone.
And the doctor goes, I go, I know you, third floor.

Speaker 2 He goes, No, I'm going to eight. Uh, actually, I have a patient here.

Speaker 1 Well, that's the last one. No, no, there's two reasons it's funny.
One is it's funny. It's a funny sound.
The second reason is how much joy you get by doing it. So there's two links.

Speaker 1 So the fact how happy you are, I don't ever want you to stop until you're not happy making that sound. I know.

Speaker 2 And it makes you sort of happy, adjacent, to watch me try to milk bits out of this thing.

Speaker 1 Right. Well, that's, you know, I mean, that's the last thing you want after you come out of surgery is that sound.
Now hit it. How to go, dog.

Speaker 1 How to go, doctor.

Speaker 2 They go like this. Here's the last thing you see.
You go, Dana, you're about to go under. You're going to count to 10.
And then you say, okay, I'm a little nervous. They go, you shouldn't be.

Speaker 2 We've done sex change surgeries before.

Speaker 2 Wait, I'm going under.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 2 Dana, by the way,

Speaker 2 you look a little loopy today, and you want to say why to our viewers?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I had a little minimally invasive surgery for hernia. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And they went through your head? Look at this hat.

Speaker 1 He's got a...

Speaker 1 I haven't been able to.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, you can't.

Speaker 1 For three days, and I had a really cool Pendleton cowboy hat that got lost. I was going to wear that.

Speaker 1 Oh, that would have been great. I'd look like Christian Bale in 310 to Yuma.
Look it up. So then at the last second, this was on top of the dryer.
This, so yeah, I had a,

Speaker 1 and these glasses, so I had a pain pill, whatever that is. So I'm a little loopy.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 I don't cancel. It's only been 36 hours since I was.

Speaker 1 But yeah, they stitch you up. They go down the neck.

Speaker 1 And, you know, everyone's like, oh, I had it. I felt nothing.
Well, guess what? I felt something, you know? Yeah.

Speaker 2 I think I was the only one that was was brave enough to say it is

Speaker 2 mine was a double which whatever that means is just a little more tricky we have the same doctor which is funny right

Speaker 2 mine was bad dana because when i did it the doctor said oh you know it's outpatient or whatever right and i woke up and i go i'm not going anywhere my brother had my brother come out and he carried me put me in a wheelchair I was like, because, you know, your like muscles are cut.

Speaker 1 So I was like, oh, fuck.

Speaker 2 He carried me like a baby, like a bodyguard

Speaker 2 and had insult to injury my dip shit neighbor uh dug in his front yard and caught out all the power lines so i got home and i couldn't get in the gate it sounds like rich problem is a gate uh and then so my brother had to bump the gate open his back carry me all the way to the house which was pitch black no electricity so he terrifyingly puts me in the bed.

Speaker 2 And I'm just like this, I can't get up if there's a fire, if there's a problem. I'm like, this is so scary.
And I'm on my pain pills, which I don't like taking for any real reason.

Speaker 2 I just want to take them for fun. And so I'm laying there and then I've got a catheter jammed up the wazoo.

Speaker 2 It's up to my ribs.

Speaker 1 I think they went into it. I'm going to down the catheter.
I said, yeah, I'm hungry. Oh, Dana.
Yeah, it's optional. You could have just said,

Speaker 2 no, because I didn't want to get up and pee. I couldn't stand up.
My brother the next day had to pick me up and just swing me around just for fun. I don't know why I asked that.

Speaker 1 How big is your brother?

Speaker 1 Was this a Cyclops?

Speaker 2 What a job. He's like, I came out here to take care of you.
I don't want to do literally everything. And I'm like, can you check my catheter? It feels a little loose.

Speaker 1 He's like, I'm sorry, what? We had the same surgeon who's great. He's world renowned.
But, you know, I get in there and they're kind of like, well, he's got a special case right now.

Speaker 1 So he had an extra large person and it took like three to four hours. So I waited.
And then when he came in, I said, are you all right, dude? Do you need a snack or something? Because he

Speaker 1 looked wiped out.

Speaker 1 Your stomach hurts when you laugh. Yes.

Speaker 1 God dang it. Not my stomach.
It's the groinarium.

Speaker 2 Groinium.

Speaker 1 I'll be fine. The guy did a great job.
Brilliant surgeon. Super nice guy.
And,

Speaker 1 you know, what are you going to do? I just think you should manage your expectations. He asked me before I went, are you nervous? I go, surprisingly, no.
And he goes, you should be a little nervous.

Speaker 2 Jesus, he goes, I'm nervous as shit.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 But he said, I just did this huge, I don't want to say fat guy, but like monstrously humorous fat guy. And

Speaker 2 he goes, I'm wiped out. But I say we just get this one, knock it out.
then we can all go to lunch. And you're like, yeah, let's just buzz through this one quickly.

Speaker 1 Well, you know, they always say it's a chip shot in golf, like meaning that it's easy, but chip shots are not very easy. so they don't

Speaker 1 get from but he did a great job and uh i just uh will be glad when um i don't feel pain getting up and moving around but i'm fine as long as don't make me laugh or i'll be in pain so now you have a challenge

Speaker 2 i won't do i believe me you're in no danger i i when i was in there i they go it's the third day we think we're gonna get your catheter. I didn't want to look.

Speaker 2 It's so crazy that that even happens because it goes into your wiener. You know what that is medically?

Speaker 2 So it's like a, it's like a number two pencil. It's way too big to be in there.
So it goes in there and then she goes like this.

Speaker 2 They just pull it out, right? And what happens is the way it stays in, just to sicken everyone, you might want to pull over, is

Speaker 2 at the end, it's got a little like a balloon.

Speaker 2 So it stays in, doesn't slide out. So One time they go, one time they forgot to deflate that part and started yanking it.
I go,

Speaker 2 I can't hear it.

Speaker 1 I can't hear it. Well, that, see, you're making me laugh again.
That is hilarious.

Speaker 1 It's hilariously horrifying. That is so funny.

Speaker 2 But other than that, I think I'm glad you're okay.

Speaker 1 You're very tough. This is the loopiest I've been on the podcast, even more than when I had dental work right before I came over.
And did the podcast.

Speaker 2 And also, you're being tough because you look a bit of a gangbanger today, which is kind of cool. And

Speaker 1 tough guy with a plan. I'll just announce it.
I mean, this is my new look. I mean, there's no reason.

Speaker 1 There's no logical reason for me to look anything other than what I look like now because I can see it going on. If you can look this cool and this badass, why would you look wimpy?

Speaker 2 I mean, I'm picturing it like it's just black hair and it looks funnier. Like that's just your black hair growing in.

Speaker 1 I'm doing an edge. I'm doing edge with Bono and Edge.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Oh, this is the Edge.
That's right.

Speaker 1 Oh, it looks like hair.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 It looks like hair. I picture it looking like hair, and it's funnier to me.

Speaker 1 Right. That's good.

Speaker 1 I'm happy for you. I'm happy for you.
One thing.

Speaker 1 Do you have more road stories besides the hospital one?

Speaker 2 No, there's no real.

Speaker 1 That's not even a real story.

Speaker 2 Yes, that's it for the road. What else you got?

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Speaker 1 The thing that made me, I don't know, it's sort of weird that, you know, you see these little, there's driverless cars, Waymos, right?

Speaker 1 And they're all over LA. And then eventually, and then you see the little cars, see the Waymos, and they're kind of cute.
And you do extrapolate into rooting for the Waymo.

Speaker 1 There's no driver, but you know, it's an AI, but you sort of watch it. Oh, I hope it makes the right turn.

Speaker 1 So during the local festivities in downtown LA, people who were protesting decided to call the little robot Waymo

Speaker 1 to come pick them up, and then they would explode it or burn it up. So the Waymo

Speaker 1 actually, they've installed a little AI voice like, yes, sir, right away, downtown LA, see you in 19 minutes.

Speaker 1 Oh, there you are. I'll pick you up.
What the fuck? You're going to explode me? Oh, my fucking God.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 that's horrible. So I...

Speaker 2 Is that a bottle of booze? Oh, it's gas inside. Why is there a rag on?

Speaker 2 Wow, what did I do to you?

Speaker 1 Please don't explode me. I don't want to be exploded.
So anyway, I just felt like that was kind of a nasty thing to do.

Speaker 2 I don't know if the riots were anti-Waymo. I don't know what was going on.

Speaker 1 I don't know what they would, please don't deport me, but then they had Mexican flags that were waving. You'd think, like, where do you want to go? What? I mean,

Speaker 2 I think the message is a little confusing. I get the message of if people have jobs and they're doing and they're contributing.

Speaker 2 I didn't think that's what this was all about, but that is the message, I think. And it's getting blurry when it gets more riotous.

Speaker 2 And there's professional rioters that definitely come into this and they are here to shake shit up and cause trouble.

Speaker 2 And when it gets like that, it gets away from the original intent and then it just turns into chaos. And then it's looting and it's all these problems.
And then no one even knows what's going on.

Speaker 2 And they bring in the National Guard. to ideally just make people go, hey, just stop.
We got to just stop what we're doing and just figure this out instead of it's getting worse.

Speaker 2 You know, you don't want it to get worse.

Speaker 2 And back in 2020, you don't, we can't burn down the city again. It's just too much.
It's too much, hurts too many businesses, hurts everyone. And they got the Olympics coming and they got World Cup.

Speaker 1 And so,

Speaker 2 you know, I feel like it, first of all, I saw it. I thought it was a rerun.
Second of all, I was like, I've got a great solution, Dan, and you're going to love this.

Speaker 1 All right. Here we go.

Speaker 2 We send in Bonnie Blue.

Speaker 2 Do you know Bonnie Blue?

Speaker 2 Heather likes this idea. She's the one that had sex with a thousand people.
She could try to have sex with all the people

Speaker 2 at the protest.

Speaker 2 And then it turns into a fun thing.

Speaker 1 Right. And it still can get its message across.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 It gets a little watered down with Bonnie Blue, but she brings joy because her next thing she's doing is she's, I don't know if Heather heard this one.

Speaker 2 This isn't putting women.

Speaker 2 it's not projecting them forward it might be inching them back because she is going to go in a glass cage and let 24 hours whoever wants to come in do whatever they want to this this was already done experiment

Speaker 2 formed and it got very very violent i do remember one girl just stood there and said do what you want to me they started very minimal and then i slapped her and they punched her and then they

Speaker 2 blood at the end and strangulation and everything this i think she's just going pure have sex with me I mean, she's, it's sort of whatever you want, but I don't think she's there to play cricket.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it might be a little different. If this woman had all sorts of tools laid out, she might not be having sexuality.

Speaker 2 Oh, tools

Speaker 2 to either have sexual interaction

Speaker 2 or her physical, they could do whatever.

Speaker 2 That was like an art piece. This one's a little less arty in my mind.

Speaker 1 A little lower on the art scale and more on the horn dog boner scale. That's a bit of a stretch.
Human beings, whatever they can think of, eventually they'll do. So

Speaker 1 someone thought of that. Hey, how about I do 10 men? And then an hour later, all right, I got you.
I'm going for a thousand. By the way, I have to say,

Speaker 1 living in California and over the years, having people from south of the border from different countries working for us and with us,

Speaker 1 very hardworking. patriotic people.
So I don't want those people bothered at all. So just wanted to go on record.
You know, they pay taxes. Of course,

Speaker 2 I think the idea is

Speaker 2 part of the people think that everyone comes over the border is horrible and part think that everyone is great.

Speaker 2 I think there's a huge percentage that come over to have a better life and then there's some that play our system because we clowned it up and just opened it.

Speaker 2 And so if you open it, other countries say, hey, if I'm a bad guy, this is our chance to get in and get settled. And now I can cause trouble if

Speaker 2 that's what I want to do. But there's a ton of great people here.

Speaker 2 and you know it's a messy thing but yeah you you want you want the criminals to kind of not hang out well i don't yeah we want to get rid of people and then you don't know why they're down like if they're going into get someone that like if you told me someone i knew was also a trafficker i wouldn't know that but they might know more than we do so they might have a reason but i don't know i don't like that they're just grabbing regular people of course because people here working for 10 years and they're trying to do it right and it's getting muddied by the people that do it it wrong.

Speaker 2 And it's just a big mess. This Bonnie Blue thing might not fix it.
And then, if not, I'm out of ideas.

Speaker 1 Hold that thought. I mean, I'm not, I'm not gonna

Speaker 1 shit on the Bonnie Blue concept.

Speaker 2 I'm not gonna, you're not going away from that just yet. You're not gonna throw it away.

Speaker 1 I'm not gonna punt if you're a football on that. You know,

Speaker 2 it's that's our best option right now. But, and if there's a better one, I'll take it.
But right now, right, that's the placeholder.

Speaker 1 Uh, I live in a sanctuary county. Most, I think, LA is a sanctuary city.
It's a sanctuary state, basically. So, but anyway, it's messy.
I don't want anyone to get hurt.

Speaker 1 And I just want us all to live in peace and harmony. I'm from the 60s.
I'm an old hippie, basically.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I mean,

Speaker 2 I just don't want the looting, the fires, the burning. It just doesn't help anyone.
And it's a lot of nice people down there that have little businesses. You're like, just.
Let them be.

Speaker 2 They don't want to be a part of this.

Speaker 1 No one does. No.

Speaker 1 And again, just in the macro, you know, if you think of the United states government and the california government the local government you know you want to take care of the national parks make sure they tax and help people and do all that but the i have two things i want from the government the first thing is to protect me from enemies outside of the u.s and the other thing is to protect me from criminals in my neighborhood so those are the two number one and number two things i want so Law and order downtown just creates more jobs, more businesses.

Speaker 1 And I am running, I'm running against Karen Bass. I should announce that.

Speaker 1 Once I get off these pain pills, I'll start the campaign.

Speaker 2 They asked Joe Exotic what he thought of her, and he goes, Karen Bass, you bitch.

Speaker 1 Sounds like.

Speaker 1 That's the whole thing.

Speaker 2 Karen Basskin, it sounds like.

Speaker 1 And the reaction to that. No, you were going to play him, and now you do the best impression of him.

Speaker 2 Now I just do an impression of them. That's like the only one I got left.

Speaker 2 Okay, other than that, yeah, the cup but what they will do is i don't like the skim job of when gavin newsom had

Speaker 2 you know the leader of china come to san francisco he cleaned up all the homelessness and everything and all the drug people for one week till the guy came and then they let it go to shit's like why why don't you just fix it for people in san francisco don't fix it for someone so when the olympics come he's just making more of a problem they're gonna have to clean up downtown and graffiti.

Speaker 2 They want it to look pristine, right?

Speaker 2 Well, they

Speaker 2 move remove the Olympics.

Speaker 1 The Olympics are funny because every city that hosts the Olympics tries to go all out, paint everything perfect, get rid of the weirdos, you know, and just make it a shit.

Speaker 1 You know, it's a big poop in the river. PR stunt.

Speaker 2 But L.

Speaker 2 They tried to, in France, they tried to hide the poop in the river.

Speaker 1 Remember, they all threw it in the river. Oh, they threw it in the river and thought it would flow through and no one would notice.
And the swimmers went in and went, what the fuck?

Speaker 2 Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 I know. Okay, go ahead.
What were you saying? They should do the Olympics in the San Francisco Bay Area because it's too fucking hot in LA in August.

Speaker 1 And the Bay Area has a much more temperate climate. It has all the facilities.
I'm just saying there's Stanford University for the track and field, you know, swimming. Yeah, it's got redwood trees.

Speaker 1 It's a much better climate. But LA, I don't know.
I wish them all the best.

Speaker 1 But I, you know, they got to clean it up.

Speaker 2 Well, let's get to the stories. That was a big story in LA this week because everyone's talking about it.
But

Speaker 2 everyone's waiting to hear what's our take.

Speaker 1 It's kind of ongoing. I mean, the latest thing, which I thought was kind of funny title, was Anti-King or Not a King.
We don't want a King.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Like Trump is Saturday.
Yeah, I thought it was just sort of funny.

Speaker 1 The way Trump is, he'll dress up as a king with a crown and come out. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 I was thinking, did he do something like that? Or they're just saying in general, he feels because he's bringing tanks out.

Speaker 1 whatever they think he's doing, they think it's too much.

Speaker 2 So I think those are going to be in every city, though. So look out Saturday.

Speaker 1 Look out Saturday.

Speaker 1 Don't go to Burger King.

Speaker 2 You might want to stay in.

Speaker 2 Okay, let's play a story of one of our stupid stories and we'll comment on it, which we all find out at the end of the show. We're all AI or something.

Speaker 1 Let's see.

Speaker 1 I'm strict every single day. I'm going to be honest this time with my response.
I'm not going to be joking. All right.

Speaker 1 I'll let you know. All right.
Go. Okay.

Speaker 2 Okay. Ready?

Speaker 1 Whenever we're ready,

Speaker 2 by the way, you like this color on me, Dana. It's called maroon, I think.

Speaker 1 It matches perfectly with everything in there, but that one sign behind you is pretty bright, the silver one.

Speaker 2 This one, the YouTube.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 2 I can't. I would never do the weather.

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Speaker 1 I know. Yeah, me too.
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Speaker 2 well if diddy's off what do you think of diddy as a host

Speaker 1 I think, can Diddy get off? He might, right?

Speaker 2 If Diddy gets off, they're really circling this trafficking because they're saying if you flew a girl to Vegas and gave her $1,000 spending money and then had sex with there, that could be sex trafficking because you brought someone over state lines, gave them money to have sex.

Speaker 2 So that's a small version of it, which has been done every day since the beginning of time.

Speaker 2 But the actual stuff he's doing is basically, it's going to be one of those lawyer things, Dana, where he goes, Listen, do I want to go bowling with Diddy?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 2 Is he a gross fig?

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 2 Does he do all these horrible things?

Speaker 1 Not a great guy.

Speaker 2 Is he on trial for being a great guy? No, because he'd lose.

Speaker 1 But is he a sex trafficker?

Speaker 1 Ladies and gentlemen, the jury, we're missing.

Speaker 2 This is what we're judging him on. Not all this.
This is all noise. It's gross noise.

Speaker 2 It's pretty rough and tumble over there in the old Diddy household.

Speaker 1 I know. I'll bet that guy already has his closing statement.
He's just going to go, P. Diddy, a shitty guy, but nothing, didn't do anything illegal.
Boom. Yeah.

Speaker 2 He goes like this. In closing, I like to say, P shitty over here.

Speaker 1 I call him that.

Speaker 2 You should too.

Speaker 1 He's a fucking asshole.

Speaker 1 This guy's gross. What he's doing makes me cringe.
Is he a surgeon?

Speaker 1 This guy is crude. He's rude.
He's obnoxious. He's lewd.

Speaker 1 He's lewd.

Speaker 1 He's a sex fiend.

Speaker 1 He has too much money. No one really knows what he does.
But is he a sex trafficker?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 2 We got to let him walk out. He's got a table tonight at a club.

Speaker 1 He'll go out. If he gets off,

Speaker 2 he's going to be the king of the world. He'll be like,

Speaker 2 everyone will be like,

Speaker 2 there's definitely people that will treat him like a hero. Of course.
Like, oh man, you beat him.

Speaker 2 He won't miss a step.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And the guy who's going to give the closing statement is.

Speaker 2 I like,

Speaker 2 you still talk like the lawyer. You go, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Who is the guy giving the closing statement?

Speaker 1 Mr. Bill Cosby.

Speaker 1 You see, the

Speaker 1 ladies like the baby oil all the time. And P.
Diddy just did the baby oil dismissed. I haven't done Cosby in two years, so I'm a little bit more.

Speaker 2 I know that's a pretty good one. Cosby was the mentor.

Speaker 1 Is he a jerk?

Speaker 1 Is he this? Is he that? Is he a criminal? Nope.

Speaker 1 Dismissed.

Speaker 1 Not a great guy. David, give us a topic and

Speaker 1 I'll riff on it and then you tag me.

Speaker 1 This is not planned.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 There is a.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 2 Well, we're not going to do this one. It's too controversial.
There's a How to Train Your Dragon sequel.

Speaker 1 It's live action. It's not.

Speaker 2 God, I had a good one, though.

Speaker 1 I'm looking at Yahoo News. Yahoo.

Speaker 2 Okay, I'll set you up with this one.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 Oh, Brad Pitt asked if he'd work with Tom Cruise again, and he gave one stipulation.

Speaker 2 I can't click on it, though. God dang it.
What do you think it is?

Speaker 1 They'd have to do the vampire movie again?

Speaker 2 Oh, I know what we can talk about. Heather's precious Sidney Sweeney's soap.

Speaker 2 No, it's bathwater.

Speaker 2 Sidney Sweeney.

Speaker 1 Is she selling beauty products?

Speaker 2 She's selling some of her bath water that they're going to put in soap that guys can whack off to or something.

Speaker 2 It's soap with a hole in it, I heard.

Speaker 2 That part is the best hook of all.

Speaker 2 Taina's like, this is the crumbling of America.

Speaker 1 So, and I don't want to think that Sweeney is selling male sex toys, basically.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, you know what? Now that you position it like that, yes, yes.

Speaker 1 Is she publicly traded? Can I buy her as a stock? Because that thing's going to go fucking ballistic.

Speaker 2 Yeah, her ex, no, during the movie with Glenn Powell, you know, they did that fake romance. I don't know if you remember this.
It might be a little out of your orbit, but.

Speaker 1 I know about that.

Speaker 2 The girlfriend just finally said that she was very miffed by the whole situation, which she should be. I have to take her side that she was flying out to Australia and he said, you know what?

Speaker 2 She said, like, Kamala, don't come.

Speaker 1 Don't come.

Speaker 2 He goes, she goes, he says, this is where he got a little, I thought a little rude.

Speaker 2 The producers and I talked, we don't think you should fly out here because it would hurt the fake romance there that he's cheating.

Speaker 2 And she was like, that's when I decided I should go. By the way, if you're telling a female, oh, me and my producers decided, why would they have anything to do with?

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 I haven't had that experience, but it must be odd if your significant other, your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife,

Speaker 1 and is just doing basically softcore porn on a movie set all day. It just must be odd.
I mean, you'd like to go there and look, right?

Speaker 2 And off-camera. Yeah, she wanted to come check in on those because she heard rumors and she buzzed out.
She was going to buzz out there and they said, said don't buzz and so

Speaker 2 but you know i met glenn powell recently thought he was a super cool guy i'm a guy i'm from a different world like i'm not in this thing with her so but she did make sense to me like that's i would get the offensiveness of you should tell me this is all fake and you should tell me that you wouldn't cheat and she goes he wouldn't say that i know but if it if you do that too much it seems like the opposite is true honest baby i'm telling you man nothing's going on.

Speaker 1 I think she's ugly, you know, kind of thing.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you go, Sidney Sweeney, that gross. Are you joking?

Speaker 1 Is this

Speaker 1 on some kind of can camera show? Is this a joke? Is this a prank show?

Speaker 1 The idea that I would be attracted to Sidney Sweet turned on, yeah, or somehow because we're naked under sheets for hours filming that it would mean anything. Are you out of your mind, darling?

Speaker 2 that's good it's always

Speaker 2 always

Speaker 2 gaslight what's going on

Speaker 2 oh something happened on my computer

Speaker 2 so that's Sidney Sweeney and I get why the girlfriend Gigi got a little sideways you know it's not my business that's never kept me out of anything it's not my business I think it's only human and natural for her to kind of go whoa you know Yeah, I mean, unfortunately, Sidney Sweeney's a monstrous star, and Glenn Powell's a huge star.

Speaker 2 It just, you know, any relationship, it's a tough ride when people are blowing up.

Speaker 1 When, yeah, they're, they're, yeah, you're, he's a male leading man. She's a leading woman, you know, and they're, they do a lot of sex scenes in their films.

Speaker 2 It's really, and she's gorgeous. It's like three good-looking people.
So I'm sure they'll all land on their feet. Okay, here's the next story.

Speaker 1 And then we're going to wrap it up. We're going to wrap it up.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but I got one that'll affect you

Speaker 2 because someone sent me this and I did see this story uh

Speaker 2 mike myers involved in the diddy trial did you hear that they said i heard yeah a lot of these things i what is it is is the idea that his parents because i think he's their parents were british mike's parents from liverpool

Speaker 1 okay right like they like the beatles yeah

Speaker 1 they might be

Speaker 2 What is the thing is that his parents had jobs and something over there. So they're trying to find a link?

Speaker 1 You know what I, I just, I should text him and find out. We should find out and it clears it up.
I didn't even want to bring it up. I thought it was one of those silly things.

Speaker 1 The initial thing that I saw

Speaker 1 was a picture of him as Austin Powers,

Speaker 1 and he's looking at himself as Dr. Evil, has his pants down.
You see his butt, and on Dr. Evil's butt is a tattoo of P.
Diddy.

Speaker 2 Is that true? Is that in the movie?

Speaker 1 I only, you know, this is I, I I could be fake.

Speaker 2 It could be fake.

Speaker 1 I got a joke.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 2 I don't think there's anything nefarious going on.

Speaker 1 And then there was rumors that Mike took a tour of the CIA facilities.

Speaker 1 I just assume everything's fake until I hear otherwise.

Speaker 2 Or there's also a reason. I mean, curiosity.
It could be anything. You don't know.

Speaker 2 But we should ask him. We can clear it up for him.
Or he can come on. He's a friend of the show.

Speaker 1 Friend of the show. It's Wayne.
I was, you know, my Garth, he's Wayne. I've always got his back.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 Garth and Wayne. Garth always

Speaker 1 vouches for his friend. By the way, I just didn't want people to go without seeing my movie poster.
Tell me, is it too the Godzilla?

Speaker 2 Oh, you tilt it down. You're smart.
I think it's cool. It may just

Speaker 2 get a little more in evidence. So maybe on that door or maybe right behind the plant or something.
Yeah. Yeah.
Up on the wall instead of. I like it do you

Speaker 1 do you do you really

Speaker 1 just trying to do something colorful because you know I had the white wall and apparently people is he from a low you know

Speaker 2 low crime facility or something is he chained to a radiator and I mean I move around too so you know double tree in yeah well I think you gave it 120% today Dan and everyone's applauding you you got a million birthday messages on YouTube last week.

Speaker 2 They were very nice.

Speaker 1 That's nice. God knows why.
Yeah, I don't really.

Speaker 1 Hmm. I should have checked them, but

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 I like to have a little fun at one point every day, even if it's watching the basketball game with an ice gold beer or whatever.

Speaker 2 You're going to watch tonight,

Speaker 2 Friday, the Pacers.

Speaker 1 I don't have to wink on that one.

Speaker 2 The Pacers are playing tonight. I saw the game

Speaker 2 the other night.

Speaker 1 Right. The other night.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That was

Speaker 1 turning into a really, really exciting series.

Speaker 2 It's a bit of a battle royale. I think it's what everybody wanted.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
No one's walking over anybody else. So

Speaker 2 what about the shot? Who was on the side of the court to prove that you saw it?

Speaker 2 Caitlin Clark was sitting with who, Go.

Speaker 1 Caitlin Clark was sitting with other WNBA people.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 1 Angel Reese. I don't know.
She was a celebrity.

Speaker 2 I think it was two other players.

Speaker 2 I thought you knew. I think one.

Speaker 1 Well, one was

Speaker 1 Reggie Miller was in the stands when they were playing in Indianapolis.

Speaker 2 Right. Yeah.
She was with two other gals from the WNBA, but I don't know who they were.

Speaker 1 And you don't even know who she was sitting with.

Speaker 2 You asked me. I asked you to do the trick so you'd answer.

Speaker 1 You didn't know the answer, but I got it right. Two other uh wnba stars yeah maybe sabrin i don't know

Speaker 1 um

Speaker 1 it's not really that riveting but i just was curious um and it was fun to see them out at a regular nba game yeah i mean it's i think it's great the wnba and uh whoever you want to give credit to is on the map its ratings are

Speaker 1 going up exponentially. So I'd love to see Caitlin Clark.

Speaker 2 She's great. Is she playing again? That's the last question.
Then I'll let everyone go.

Speaker 1 I think she had a little injury or something, but yeah,

Speaker 1 she started out. I mean, yeah, she's setting records all the time.

Speaker 2 Meanwhile, look at you, Hernia, back here, busting your ass on this podcast.

Speaker 1 I'll come back better and stronger.

Speaker 1 You know, it just happens. But I had such strong abs

Speaker 1 that the guy did it a different way. He said, oh no.

Speaker 2 He didn't break a scalpel, did he?

Speaker 1 No, no, but you can do a mesh, like put a little mesh on it, or you can just go with the actual tissue if it's really strong.

Speaker 2 Yeah. With me, they said, you know, because it's so dainty down there.
And I go,

Speaker 2 what does that mean? He goes, no, it's just because you're so gushy and smooshy.

Speaker 1 Well, I shouldn't even be saying this, but he knows we're friends and everything. And

Speaker 1 he said, he said, look, I shouldn't have done this, but it's organic. It probably was absorbed.
But when I did David's surgery, I put a little dandelion in there. Oh, he did?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I go, you put a dandelion in there. He goes, yeah,

Speaker 1 and I said, he named his special that you can see it on Amazon Prime. He goes, Really? An Amazon Prime right now? It's playing.
Yes, dandelion, David Spade.

Speaker 2 And he said, Dana, I'm going to give you a hint for your next special. You might want to call it sponge

Speaker 2 because he left one in you

Speaker 2 and scalpel.

Speaker 2 He left a scalpel in there.

Speaker 1 He goes, I'm forgetful.

Speaker 1 Yes, he left an inflatable raft when I had a minor info thing.

Speaker 2 There's probably a kink with some doctor where he like leaves something small.

Speaker 2 That's a sickening thing, but I guarantee you it's real. I guarantee you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, definitely. Or writing things on different organs and stuff.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I hate it. Okay, well, thanks for.

Speaker 2 I appreciate that I'm puking everyone out in the last five seconds.

Speaker 1 Well, I didn't know what to do with my hands. Normally I'm holding it and I finally got a thing like this.
So I know you got a microphone.

Speaker 1 So I was going like this i was going like this i went like this i mean i i should really be at a comedic stance of some kind yeah it's weird because if no one notices i have a mic stand and dane always holds it like a comedian but at a certain point he decided to grow up well and i had one of these things attached to the table and it broke and i'm kind of scattered i i didn't fix it so i just held it for two years

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're like, Paul, ma, little house in the prairie.

Speaker 2 All right, Dane, if that wasn't the end, I think people realize this is the end.

Speaker 1 We want this is like the movie credits. Yeah, this is like the doors.

Speaker 1 This is the end.

Speaker 1 You're still here.

Speaker 2 You're still watching. You're still watching.

Speaker 1 You're still listening. You're still driving.
I want to thank you once again.

Speaker 1 For the next Superfly, I'm going to do something that I've never done before. But in the comment section on YouTube, try to guess what I've placed in that little

Speaker 1 leather thing. And if you guess it,

Speaker 1 we're gonna have it we're gonna get some kind of something good's gonna happen to you

Speaker 1 oh my that's it well do you want to announce a prize oh well could you send it to them or is it too words too much send whatever's in there yeah is that like a hint or a clue no we could send it to them as a winner we could say you win it oh i see is it possible i mean we could send them the bag but then i wouldn't no we send them what was in it what's in it

Speaker 1 it is possible they could send it okay so maybe we'll do that.

Speaker 2 Of course.

Speaker 1 But how do we know if they're going to want it? They won't want it.

Speaker 2 They might. Okay, we'll figure it out.

Speaker 1 We're going to figure it out. We're trying to create mystery on the show.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's so much mystery. People are like fucking freaking out.

Speaker 2 Okay, I'm going to go. And Dana, it was nice meeting you, and we're going to have a great time.
So take care of yourself. I'll check on you later.

Speaker 1 Yes, sir.

Speaker 2 This has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly. It's executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss-Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro, and Greg Holtzman.
Hope you liked it.