SUPERFLY #58 - OSCARS AFTERPARTY

Speaker 1 All right, cold mornings,

Speaker 1 holiday plans, endless to-do lists.

Speaker 1 I just want my wardrobe to be simple, Dana. I just want pieces that look sharp, feel amazing.
Makes sense, and I'll use every day. You know what I mean? That's Quince.
That's it. The best part.

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Speaker 2 Also,

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Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. I picked up a few for myself and a few to gift, and it's all stuff people actually love.

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Speaker 2 Quince.com/slash fly. Hey, David, when it comes to gifting, you know i've learned there are two types of presents okay

Speaker 2 um

Speaker 2 the ones that get returned and the ones that instantly become a favorite do you agree yeah that's uh jenny bird jewelry uh definitely falls in the second category

Speaker 1 these designs as you know are very modern they're timeless always feel special oh well isn't that special that makes them my secret weapon when i want to give a gift that really you know lands that's why Jenny Bird makes it easy.

Speaker 1 The packaging is beautiful.

Speaker 1 It's very thoughtful. The pieces are comfy enough to wear every day.
Yep. And they ship fast.
That's perfect if you're a last-minute shopper like me.

Speaker 2 That's right. I mean, I just want to do this when I hear that.
Way to go. Way to go.
And because the styles are so versatile, they always make an outfit feel pulled together, David.

Speaker 2 Without trying too hard, David, not talking about you.

Speaker 2 Some of my wife's go-tos are the best-selling Florence earrings, which I always get compliments, and the Remy Bengal, lightweight, water-resistant, and just as good stacked as it is on its own.

Speaker 2 These are the gifts you'll actually want to keep.

Speaker 1 And you can get 20% off your first order with Jenny Bird by visiting jenny-bird.com and using code F-O-T-W at checkout.

Speaker 1 I like it so far, Dana.

Speaker 1 Nothing really bothers me there.

Speaker 2 No one's expecting it. I mean, I'm in a hotel room.
Nope, they're both going back, Craig.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's fine

Speaker 2 this is a good beginning

Speaker 2 yeah

Speaker 2 this is the beauty of uh remote podcasting i i'm in different hotels you know how do you now do you want your mirror in the background because it shows like that square oh that's why maybe we should open it

Speaker 1 this is funny

Speaker 2 we go full

Speaker 1 god i almost yanked my earphones off today and i almost killed someone it got caught on a tree and I was like, snap.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Well, we got a few minutes left, Dana.
So what should we talk about?

Speaker 2 Well, okay.

Speaker 1 I got a lot of stuff I want to talk about. We'll go back and forth, but oh, yeah, I'm doing the tour.
So people, exciting. Go to davidspay.com.

Speaker 2 I'm coming to your town, probably not, but I'm coming to a couple towns.

Speaker 2 Coming to some town. You know what? I was like,

Speaker 1 I announced the tour, the first leg of it, and then everyone goes, well, are you coming to Pensacola? That's all the comments are where I'm not going.

Speaker 1 So I will be adding and adding, but that's all on that. But it's, you can buy tickets now, finally.

Speaker 2 I just saw David. We worked together at this event, and I watched from the wings.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 he's in very sharp form, very funny. I tried to cut him off.
I tried to get the mic on.

Speaker 1 I just get him out of my hands.

Speaker 2 I said, hasn't he done his time? I kept going to the crew, and they go, he's on a roll. Let him go.
Let him finish. I go,

Speaker 2 yeah.

Speaker 1 Corporate gig together. It was a great idea because we went all the way to Indiana.

Speaker 1 And in the daytime, I walked across the street and went to the NFL Combine. It was right across from the hotel.

Speaker 1 Everyone in our hotel was either a coach, assistant coach, weightlifting coach, QB coach. It was.
kind of funny. All dudes, not great.
It looked like a pirate ship.

Speaker 1 And then I walked over there and got on with Rich Eisen and did some goofy stuff and then walked around and saw the combine, which I watch on TV every year. Just fun to walk around.

Speaker 2 Uh, you went to the combine, how long did it take you to get there from the hotel? Did you sprint or anything? Or

Speaker 1 yeah, when I did this 40 over there, I go, I'm already tired because I sprinted here. But I was, I felt like, and I might be imagination, I was being scouted while I was walking around.

Speaker 1 Like, people are like, what about this guy?

Speaker 2 He could be a good rover back.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean, I always saw you as scrappy as a fighter, and I see you as kind of speedy, quick, quick.

Speaker 2 Yeah. So, you know, I mean, the zero to 20 yards, you probably make some noise.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then I did some of the sled, I did some sled work where you knock it back, you know, push it back.

Speaker 1 Flip the tires a little bit like that.

Speaker 1 Just let them know.

Speaker 2 It's pretty easy. If I seem a little tired, it's because we had, there was a party last night at the

Speaker 2 My wife was here.

Speaker 2 And good night, sweetheart. And then it just,

Speaker 2 can you do the effects? Yeah. And just people talking, what up, man? So this went on for hours, going to the front desk.
And they're like, I don't know. We told them many times.

Speaker 2 They had the balcony open. It's just blowing bongs, pounding beers.
And they kept knocking.

Speaker 2 And they were like, your walls should be thicker, man. We're not that loud.

Speaker 1 It's your fault.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 So we're like, we got all our in the other room we know we won't sleep and they can't stop them so we could can you just give us a room to walk to so we could sleep is where i am now oh you did that oh my gosh just so we could sleep because you drag your blankets and pillows down the hallway it kind of all blurry eye all blurry eye coins so yeah and then i went to the dermatologist today just for a classic skin check

Speaker 1 oh oh do your one that i wish i had in my act it's so funny.

Speaker 2 Age related. He's got a little eyeglass.
He's going around. Age related.
This time, this time, the guy's really nice, but this time I get it. I didn't realize I was wearing powder blue underwear.

Speaker 2 I just grab them, right?

Speaker 2 They go, please get down. So I'm sitting on the paper, just nothing but the powder blue boxers.

Speaker 2 Sitting for like five, seven minutes waiting. Then it's like,

Speaker 2 he comes in. So this time when he checked me, it goes, those are red dots.
That's normal. You're going to be getting a lot more of those.

Speaker 2 These dark ones back here, you're going to be getting a lot more of those.

Speaker 1 So your balls hang to here. It's going to be getting a lot lower.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And then he said on my wrist, he goes, Let me.

Speaker 2 I go, is it cancer? He goes, pre-cancer. Don't worry about it.
It's pre-cancer. So we're going to freeze it.
So.

Speaker 1 Is everything sort of just pre-cancer until it's cancer, I guess?

Speaker 2 I don't know. Yesterday, because I'm in town and I live in the country.
uh

Speaker 2 i keep thinking of patrick trying

Speaker 2 he's thinking live

Speaker 2 i might be able to salvage that

Speaker 2 The coyotes, the coyotes, when they work in packs

Speaker 2 and you hear them coordinating out in the field behind our house, like coordinating, I think.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, they're definitely.

Speaker 2 They attack and then they're like hyenas. They're high-pitched.

Speaker 2 They get horny. It's like,

Speaker 2 you're killing.

Speaker 2 But anyway, I was in the big city. Yesterday, I got the I thing.
Better now or better now.

Speaker 2 Better now, better now.

Speaker 2 Better now, better now. For about 45 minutes.
And then the ophthalmologist came in.

Speaker 2 That was just someone doing it. That was just me by myself.
Better now.

Speaker 1 You're practicing now. Better now.

Speaker 2 Better now.

Speaker 2 Now, the left eye is kind of weak,

Speaker 2 but the right eye is pretty good.

Speaker 1 So, what I used to do, and this is possibly considered cheating, was I'm waiting for my turn. I try to memorize each line.

Speaker 1 And then I go up and they go, okay, play, I go GFPF4321. And they go, well, there's no numbers in there.
I'm like,

Speaker 1 that means I couldn't even see it when I was cheating.

Speaker 2 Well, let me ask you a question. This is just straight up.
Why didn't you, when you go to the pharmacy and you get the met, you know, 1.5, 1.25, 1.75, they're upping me to two.

Speaker 2 Why getting assistance in your eyesight is called cheaters? Oh, you need some cheaters. Get some cheaters.
Why is it cheating because you can't see? It's cheating. David Davis wears.

Speaker 2 I'm wearing cheaters right now. You'd be a total blur if I didn't wear this.

Speaker 1 No, I actually can sort of see, which is crazy.

Speaker 2 So you have a lot of good analytics.

Speaker 1 In the next grown-ups, we should do this where we all sit down at the diner.

Speaker 2 The next

Speaker 1 five of us. Yeah.
One of the next grown-ups that we all sit down and everybody

Speaker 1 puts the four of the four of the five guys put the menus like this, you know, way back here.

Speaker 2 Uh-huh.

Speaker 1 And then they're because they all can't see. And then I go, you guys, that's so lame.
And then I go like this.

Speaker 2 Instead of grown-ups, the next ones that we call

Speaker 2 old, growing old.

Speaker 2 It's not growing up anymore. It's kind of old.

Speaker 1 No, it's going to be G-R-O-A-N. Growing up.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's not going to be

Speaker 2 good. So I got the eyes.
I got the skin. I finally slept.
It's been a big weekend. I don't know.

Speaker 1 Is that liver bad, kidney bad?

Speaker 1 What's that from?

Speaker 2 Is that from your act?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I think so.

Speaker 1 They go check you.

Speaker 1 Oriental medicine. They go liver bad, kidney bad.

Speaker 2 Well, no, that was when I used to go to a homopath. There was sort of acupuncture doctor.

Speaker 2 And I was on snl at the time it was in the valley and i would go and they would take your pulse and go oh you're the liver bad kidney bad everything bad from your pulse you're tired you're tired you're so tired now

Speaker 2 and they give me these bottle of red pills now what they would do is caffeine you do all the acupuncture stuff we'll put here for you i'll go there i'm doing a norwegian accent just a bad one okay for you sure and go there so they also would put it in your head so one time and this is not a bit and not a joke i drove away and i noticed i still had one of the acupuncture things coming on needles top of my head like an antenna yeah so

Speaker 2 i was getting this is fm radio kfog from the san fernando valley um but anyway

Speaker 2 you know is what it is picking up am radio in iceland Christ's sakes, Carvey, I think next time you should comb through the turf before you exit the acupuncture place.

Speaker 1 Hey, how much if you you pluck them out?

Speaker 2 Let me ask you a question because I like to do that.

Speaker 2 Have you ever done acupuncture?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. With this neck? Are you kidding me? You know what? It was a bummer the other night.
We flew home. We did pretty good on the flight.
That turbulence at the end kind of tightened me up.

Speaker 1 And from then on,

Speaker 1 I went to this Oscar thing

Speaker 1 and I went with Chris and we.

Speaker 1 And then I couldn't go out late because it was killing me so bad. I started getting such a bad headache.
Such a bummer. What a fun night.
But we did put a lot into it. We did flew all day, me and you.

Speaker 1 We came from 18 degrees. Everything about it was just a beating.

Speaker 2 And so kind of interesting.

Speaker 2 We, I like to kind of just let the turbulence exist on its own. So I just flop.
Like I just go with it. And I saw you tensing and tightening.
I thought, oh,

Speaker 2 well, most of the time you're sitting on the floor of the air, which is kind of hip.

Speaker 2 Like a kind of a hippie thing.

Speaker 1 You're like, I get get on my knees.

Speaker 2 Give him a bongo. He's down there.

Speaker 1 It bothers the other customers. Actually, I think when I was biting on the pilot's collarbone, just because I was so nervous, like, ha

Speaker 2 on the way down.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I know. Well, we, we had a, we had a fun time.
And

Speaker 1 here's a funny thing. So I go, I don't see the Oscars at all.
Um, and our boy Conan was on them. So I see little clips here and there, but then I go to this shindig, this Vanity Fair one with Chris.

Speaker 1 So it's, so when you get there,

Speaker 1 it's going to be a little bedlam inside, but there's a press line. So that's kind of stuff they don't really want guys there because

Speaker 1 guys, you know, I'm wearing a black suit. So is Chris.
He looks good.

Speaker 2 They don't want guys there. They want to.

Speaker 1 Well, they just want to take the pictures of the girls' gowns, basically.

Speaker 2 Got it.

Speaker 1 The guy who cares, you know, and so when you get the press line, you know what SNL, the press line, it was like log jam.

Speaker 1 I was standing there for 20 minutes waiting to go through some very four degrees?

Speaker 2 I mean, was it outside or no?

Speaker 1 no this vanity fair this one oh an snl oh you weren't there yeah it was inside but it for some reason you missed it david i know i just keep bringing up that you missed it uh

Speaker 1 but this one was there's a few people waiting

Speaker 1 and we're behind jeff bezos and lauren right so oh

Speaker 1 so you just never know where you're going to be in line you know because whoever gets there like last year i was

Speaker 1 a slew of these models came in like gigi Hadid, Mrada.

Speaker 1 They all were in line. And so they all, I said, you guys go first because that's all they care about is this stuff, you know, fine.

Speaker 1 So I'm waiting. And then they say there's three circles.
This is this is inside baseball, as we always grow someone out.

Speaker 2 I love it. I know.
Don't be mad. Don't be mad.
I want to, I'm getting information right now, even though I've been to the Oscars a few years.

Speaker 1 You've done a million of these. No, so this is just the after party.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 1 And there's a, there's a wall of photographers.

Speaker 1 And so

Speaker 1 we're waiting. And so Bezos, who I don't really know, I don't think I know him at all.
I know Lauren a little bit. So they go first.

Speaker 1 So they get on their little circle. A few clicks, you know, Jeff, Jeff, Lauren, Lauren, over here.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, they're doing a little action because it's a couple, you know. So they go to the next one.
So Chris Rock comes up. They go, Chris Rock, Chris Rock.
So he's in the next one. Okay.

Speaker 1 And then, and then when they move forward, they go, Spade. So now I'm on me.
It's a few clicks, but, you know, we get it. I'm wearing a suit.
I look around, got it.

Speaker 1 And then I look at Chris and I go, go. Like, let's get out of here.
You know, go to the next circle.

Speaker 2 Let's get out of here.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And then Bezos is there, but he's like, hey, hey, you know, he's, he's kind of peacocking.
He looks good. Lauren's very pretty.

Speaker 2 Like, hey, did he have a sleeveless tuxedo with his biceps bulging out? Yeah. I mean, he's skinny.

Speaker 1 He actually brought a solo flex with him.

Speaker 2 And he was on the table. He is jacked.
Yeah, he's ripped. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And so, oh, there's a picture of us. Oh, Heather will send a picture.
Maybe we can put it. Okay.
I never saw that. I didn't see any pictures from that night.

Speaker 1 So, oh, you should look for another one because,

Speaker 1 so then they're still taking long. So we're not, we're not getting off our circles.
And I'm just dying out there. And now the photographers are like down.
They kind of shoot from the hip.

Speaker 1 Now they're going across me and Chris trying to get Jeff, you know, and Lauren that way. And then they're looking at their film.
They're checking their phones. I'm like, Chris, go.

Speaker 2 He's like, I'm waiting for them.

Speaker 1 Then they finally move off. So we go to that circle.
Then we cruise off. No, then we get a couple together, I guess.
So then we go off and now they stopped for something.

Speaker 1 And now we run SmackDab once we're off the carpet into Jeff and Lauren.

Speaker 1 And Chris is with his daughter, too. And they say,

Speaker 1 oh, let's get a picture of all you guys. Like we're all together.
And I'm like,

Speaker 1 so I say hi to them. And then they crit your picture.

Speaker 2 Jeff family.

Speaker 2 Now we're all like all the party together.

Speaker 1 But he was very nice. And she was always been sweet.

Speaker 1 So then if you're the woman, you're very, I'm sure, very conscious of like oh it's everything I'm looking at my gown my makeup and then every woman there is stunning and yeah so we go in and then uh I run in of course to some comedians I see Mulaney and I see Nick Kroll and

Speaker 1 a few others so we just sit with them and bullshit and then you know you get acclimated then you start going

Speaker 1 I'm gonna take a lap first of all Sasha Baron comes over. Now, you know, Sasha Barron.

Speaker 2 We played Borat. He played Borat.
He pretended to be be sort of a Middle Eastern man. Oh, there they are.

Speaker 1 Oh, there we are. Okay, that's not bad, right?

Speaker 2 Look at my hair shaving. I don't know if it's your best picture.
I don't really.

Speaker 2 I don't thank you. I mean, but that's not your fault.
You're incredibly handsome.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I mean, listen, maybe I had to.

Speaker 2 It was a bad pitch. It didn't look like you to me.
Can we see it again?

Speaker 2 Let's have it. No, don't make me horrified.

Speaker 2 I've never seen it. It looks perfectly fine, but it doesn't.

Speaker 1 Well, I think it's weird. My sides are shaved, so it looks a little different.

Speaker 2 Right, but look how stern you are. Look at Chris with the big spot.
Yeah, that doesn't look like your personality.

Speaker 1 I think I look too smiley one time, and from then on, it was like, Oh, and then you're like Howard Sterning it up.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I just am like, listen, let's just get

Speaker 2 two years.

Speaker 1 This is it. Okay, so

Speaker 1 that's just this is it.

Speaker 2 Good luck.

Speaker 1 Look at how funny.

Speaker 2 So, this

Speaker 1 the other funny part is Chris's is Chris's daughter's with him, who's obviously very...

Speaker 2 How old is his daughter?

Speaker 1 I think she's 21.

Speaker 1 We all came together.

Speaker 1 So we stopped and grabbed them. Lovely daughter.
Lovely. And her friend.
And so then we're walking up. I'm like, oh, Chris, people think we're double dating here.

Speaker 2 This is a problem.

Speaker 1 So I kind of hang behind. Then we get there.
And then

Speaker 1 Lola gets there. There's Lola and Zara as daughters.
But I go, let's have no confusion like we're all together.

Speaker 1 anyway, anyway, funny picture of all of us, right? That's funny.

Speaker 2 Uh, it was funny.

Speaker 2 I just, you know, this, I don't know if I'm liberated or not liberated, but it's just interesting that men are covered in their tuxedos, and women have to have their collarbones and their shoulders.

Speaker 2 Well, no, there they are.

Speaker 1 Oh, look at me. Oh, my shirt's unbuttoned.

Speaker 2 Well, that looks like you have a mullet, but it's not your hair in the back. But I do.
It looked no, but it's really coming out.

Speaker 2 Uh, Chris Rock is leading the way. He looks like he's about to do a stand-up bit.

Speaker 2 Sasha.

Speaker 1 He goes, now, the thing is, he always says, but Sash is too tall. So I don't want to hang out with him all night.
This is true. So he's always funny.

Speaker 1 And I do like him. He's very funny.
So, you know, it's friendly.

Speaker 2 So they go to the bar and I go, I'm going to walk around. Yeah.
Yeah, he's brilliant.

Speaker 1 So anyway, I run into a few people. And

Speaker 1 obviously every other person is

Speaker 1 a celebrity because people don't really get plus ones. Not many do.
obviously bezos and lauren come together

Speaker 1 and uh so i just see a lot of interesting people you don't see a lot but i was not feeling great obviously with my horrible pictures and uh my shirt was too unbuttoned really good ones there's so many good ones oh there's good ones

Speaker 1 i'm sure there's great ones a photo can be you catch someone and uh yeah oh there is oh fuck show that it was with rock too right oh you'll like this one this is

Speaker 2 important to me i don't even know why it's important to me i really want to see your big Bitcoin phone.

Speaker 1 I want to find a good picture.

Speaker 2 That's what I want to do.

Speaker 2 I don't know if this is it. I want to see it.

Speaker 1 But, you know, they walk around. They kind of ruin it because Kim K was just on SNL and they're building a Skims right by my house.
And I wanted to grill her about it.

Speaker 1 But it's hard to go up to her because they always have someone sort of floating to nail something. They have security.
They have a picture with her. Yeah.
And if you say hi and get a picture,

Speaker 1 it looks like you're trying to get a picture. So

Speaker 1 out of respect, I said hi for two seconds, but it was in between when the guy i don't think the only negative about the vanity fair party and there's there's really none is there's probably two floating photographers and so in a ballroom of

Speaker 1 300 people yeah maybe 200 yeah and it's small so it's small it's like a yeah yeah okay here's your

Speaker 1 oh oh oh here's a bad shot of me well but it is when mick jagger was came over so that's good that's you guys you guys are kind of there's this i don't know, something like you're kind of.

Speaker 1 Is this what I look like from the side? Let me just go real quick. I want to throw myself to a plate.

Speaker 1 You do not look like oh, that one's better. I got a smiley one, yeah.

Speaker 2 That looks let's put that one. I know who that looks like, but I can't think of his name.
Star Wars, you know,

Speaker 1 C3PO.

Speaker 2 No, that's the

Speaker 2 oh, Mark Hamill, yeah, from the side, yeah, a little bit.

Speaker 1 God, anybody better?

Speaker 2 That was just the photo.

Speaker 1 No, I know. I I kind of a gray beard.
I mean, a blonde one. So it's,

Speaker 1 no, I'm fine with how I look.

Speaker 1 But listen, this woman came up. I was going to ask you, Heather, do you know who Dr.
K is

Speaker 1 from Instagram or something?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 1 Anyway, she's a plastic surgeon, but she wanted a picture. And then, of course, I do the classic Dana.
She goes, oh, I do plastic surgeon. I go, hey, can you give me the Brad Pitt?

Speaker 1 I don't even know if he's done anything. Just make me look like him.
She goes, oh, I see what we could do. And she starts touching my face.

Speaker 2 I go, i'm kind of kidding you don't have to leap into action already with your professional opinion but she's very sweet here's what happened to me when i went to the oscars so i was invited to the vanity fair party this will be quick i was invited with a big white envelope vanity fair invites you they invited me for 25 years straight And I just never went and I never responded, but I kept getting invited.

Speaker 2 So then they stopped inviting me the year before I was invited to the 2018 one because Mike Myers was there for the Queen movie. And so we went to the Oscars, got all dressed up.
I went to,

Speaker 2 I go, okay, this is probably my last Oscars. So I think we went to one of the Neiman Marcus or one of those.
Okay, I got to get a tuxedo.

Speaker 2 So I said to the guy, I just want George Clooney. I just want exactly what George Clooney.
So he started pointing whooping.

Speaker 1 Very simple. This nice.
We're going to put this.

Speaker 2 I go, is this George Clooney? He goes, oh, no, George would do that. I go, no, no, no.
I mean, literally, I want a George Clooney. The shoe.

Speaker 1 Simple.

Speaker 2 Everything, because George Clooney always looks the best in a tuxedo. That's great.
The tuxedo costs

Speaker 2 money. And I looked a lot like George Clooney.
But anyway, so we go there.

Speaker 2 And then we're in some kind of after party talking to Mike, who was generous enough to invite us to go there

Speaker 2 and his wife. And we,

Speaker 2 okay, they're going from there to the Vanity Fair party. Right.
So I go, well, we're not invited to the Vanity Fair party. We don't have any invite.
They're like, oh, come along. We'll get you in.
But

Speaker 2 I couldn't be the third wheel with my wife. Like, we don't really have an invite, but we know famous people.
Could we go in? So we decided to go. We left and we went to catch.

Speaker 2 I was in a tuxedo and she was to eat. To eat and things.

Speaker 1 Not a bad move.

Speaker 2 They are so by ourselves.

Speaker 1 First of all, you're as famous as anyone in there or more. Stop it.
And

Speaker 1 when you, and people would love to see you. People ask me about you all the time.

Speaker 2 So, but the problem is... I'm a recluse, except for this part.
Oh, you are.

Speaker 1 It's good. You have a little bit of mystery to you.
I have none. So I go there.
Also, I know my angle isn't this from now on, Heather, when I'm taking photographs.

Speaker 2 Listen, those photographs have nothing to do with reality.

Speaker 1 They know I'm personality driven.

Speaker 2 Well, you don't look, you didn't look like yourself in that shot. It couldn't have recognized you.

Speaker 1 Look at me. Now do I? I'm angry to be at this party.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So when you pull up to Vanity Fair, you see this woman and there's like a guard gate and they have police everywhere because there's too many people in there that they don't want anything to happen to, I guess.

Speaker 1 There's dignitaries or whoever. Like Bezos.

Speaker 1 He himself is, they're probably keeping an eye on him alone, along with everyone else so you have a stop you have to show something in the window of your car and then you have a hard plastic

Speaker 1 David spade vanity fair thing so you have to show that then even if they know you David go ahead next one stop get out show that again

Speaker 1 shakedown I saw one I saw a guy go literally hey David do you know this guy whatever I go yeah and he goes Can you tell him I'm stuck out here? I'm supposed to be with him.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, oh, the chances I would run into this guy inside, which I never did. Uh, but he was stuck too.
Sorry, we just don't have the thing, and you have to have the thing.

Speaker 1 So, it might have been,

Speaker 1 I'm saying, it might have been a slight problem just because I saw how rough they were on everyone. They weren't even, yeah, any screwing around.

Speaker 2 Anytime you're in that party, and if you pivot left or right, or look up, or make a sudden move, you will be tackled. You were in danger of being tackled for two hours at the Vanity Fair party.

Speaker 2 Yeah, taken down, guy with his knee in your back. What are you doing? You know, so it's not why are you shaking Jeff Bezos's hand?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I know. So, uh, and then I pushed out on the Gaio Siri party because that goes all night and it's super fun, but I felt such like fuck pie.
I go, I can't do it.

Speaker 2 Well, you can, of course, I feel better now, and I'm like, oh, but of course, I can't.

Speaker 1 Anyway, well, I got a lot out of it, and we got age-related and we got um fun.

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Speaker 3 What's up? It's Draymond Green. I'm back for my 14th NBA season and my podcast, The Draymond Green Show, is back too.

Speaker 3 This season, I'm breaking down games, reacting to the biggest NBA stories, and sitting down with teammates, rivals, and culture shapers. And trust me, I'm not holding back on the court or on the mic.

Speaker 3 Two new episodes every week. New segments, big conversations, real basketball talk for the real hoop heads.
Listen to and follow the Draymond Green Show wherever you get your podcast. We're back.

Speaker 3 We're better. Let's get it.

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Speaker 2 Shout out. It'll be whenever it's out to our friend Conan.
Did a great job. Yeah.
Great jokes. He had his serious moments, funny moments.
He kept it light. And I thought it was a home run for Conan.

Speaker 2 And he's probably,

Speaker 2 I bet he's already been invited to do next year.

Speaker 1 And Adrian Brody, all the, the highlights I heard were he did a long speech, which is fine.

Speaker 2 I do love it when a guy goes, stop the music. I've been here before.

Speaker 2 You know, he told him, no, no, no, stop, stop.

Speaker 1 Please drop the music. I've done this before.

Speaker 2 This is not my first rodeo. This is not my first.

Speaker 2 Can I just make

Speaker 1 a gum one? Go ahead.

Speaker 2 No, not my first rodeo is such a funny figure of speech. Like apparently first rodeos are complete shit shows, but the second rodeo is really nice.
But the first one,

Speaker 2 you get messed up.

Speaker 1 But I saw a girl with a hat on, honestly, about a week ago and said, this is my first rodeo.

Speaker 1 Please excuse me. This is my first rodeo.

Speaker 2 Here's the cool thing about this that he talked about. So this guy gets the Oscar 20 years ago.
He's a great actor. Right.
And then he's kind of in the wilderness years.

Speaker 2 It's not, he's not getting as many A-parts. And he really talks to that.
Like, I'm still here, Hollywood. It was very open and emotional.
But

Speaker 2 after about 26 minutes of that,

Speaker 2 I thought, okay, he said everything he needs to say.

Speaker 2 How funny.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 His pin was her second earring. His.

Speaker 2 So she took an earring off.

Speaker 1 Oh, she took her earring off and he wore it as a brooch? Yes.

Speaker 1 What is broaches?

Speaker 2 Is this early in a relationship? Is this romance like, is it the first six months of it?

Speaker 1 All right. I'll ask you about romance and Heather can chime in.
All right. The clip I saw is he won.
He got up. He started walking.

Speaker 1 He got about 20 feet away, took his gum out and threw it back to her to catch.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I don't see that in a lot of Hallmark movies, but, you know, maybe that's the new romantic gesture.

Speaker 2 Right.

Speaker 1 Take this bitch and hope it sticks in your Oscar hair that you had done for two and a half hours.

Speaker 2 I had a hostess snowball in my pocket one of those hostess snowballs when i won the emmy whoops how'd that get out so i walk into the stage i look back at paula she was sitting next to like i don't know eddie van halen i just went

Speaker 1 and she had a catcher's mouth just romantic yeah it's very it's cute if i was her i'd be like hey next oscars maybe not throw your gum at me maybe not

Speaker 1 yeah well did he bring up weinstein that's hard too that's a tough subject at the oscars well

Speaker 2 I mentioned that before, and it has nothing to do with Weinstein or anyone. It's just such a turn to go from the Weinstein type, Harvey Weinstein, to Adrian Brody, who has

Speaker 2 just this gravitas about him or sadness, or he just has this. He looks like a very cool guy.
Incredibly

Speaker 2 genuine person. based on that.

Speaker 1 So I like him. Obviously talented.
If he doesn't get an Oscar for 20 years, it means nothing about his acting.

Speaker 1 It's just there's so many, there's only X amount of good movies and so many actors that are good that it's just, it's sort of you know, I think he works if it's about, he works all the time, but if it's about the Holocaust, you know, there's always a chance it's going to be taken very seriously and it might get pushed to the front of the podcast.

Speaker 2 It's something

Speaker 2 I'm sure it's brilliant. It's just a place I can't go to anymore.
But, you know, he

Speaker 2 Adrian Brody, what do you

Speaker 1 mean up and down?

Speaker 1 I didn't know what time it was.

Speaker 1 Dana, I still don't. I just know I was like,

Speaker 2 I spent the weekend with you. We were doing our own thing going around there.
But every time I turned around, you

Speaker 2 peeling a freaking banana. I go, is this guy got a potassium deficiency?

Speaker 1 Banana is my new go-to. It's easy, but anything on the podcast, I can't really eat.
I have shit around here, but I can't eat.

Speaker 2 Remember when I handed you an orange and you said, what am I going to do with this? And you threw it down. I was like,

Speaker 1 give me a goddamn banana.

Speaker 2 You're like a monkey. You need a fucking banana.

Speaker 1 I don't want people to think I eat food. Oh, by the way, before we get into the stories,

Speaker 1 there was a quake here the other day.

Speaker 1 Did you feel it?

Speaker 2 What are they talking? 3.9?

Speaker 1 It was a chumpy 3.6.

Speaker 2 Embarrassing. No, that's nothing.

Speaker 2 That's like, is the mattress moving? I didn't really feel it.

Speaker 2 There was a big one in San Jose. I flew over it while the earthquake was happening.
I think I was on Southwest, and the pilot came on and said, earthquake down in San Jose right now.

Speaker 2 Now we're over San Jose. Now we're not.
Now we're over San Jose. Now we're not.
I mean, the whole city was moving. I was shocked.
That's very shocking. I was surprised.

Speaker 2 I mean, that's a big earthquake. That's right.
San Jose slides out from under the plane. Now we're not.
Now we're not. Shakers, tremors.

Speaker 1 I had a friend who was like, you know, people are telling me they're like, it was a 3-6, but it felt like a 4-1.

Speaker 1 Because we know our earthquakes out here. So I'm like, you get into the fives.
I'll start to listen.

Speaker 2 Six, I'm scared, and it's also depth, the depth of it and the way it shakes.

Speaker 1 Was it a roller? Was it a sideways one? Was it

Speaker 2 liquify? I have a good friend who

Speaker 2 during the, yeah, I'll tell you more later about that. It's not for the podcast.
Northridge earthquake, which was a six-something, but more like created action, like an 8.0.

Speaker 2 By their friend, it was like, when it was hitting, was going, this is the big one. This is a big one.

Speaker 2 We got to get out of here. It's the biggest.
It was like 6-6, right? Well, look,

Speaker 2 look, listen. The ring of fire in Japan and stuff, Tokyo can take a 9.2

Speaker 2 and they're on ball bearings. So they just kind of go like that.

Speaker 2 We in California with San Andreas, we're kind of tapped out. I hope I'm right at maybe a 7-2.

Speaker 2 Because

Speaker 2 our,

Speaker 2 you know,

Speaker 2 things, our Teutonic plates are moving this way. You don't want them to move this way.
Off the coast of Oregon, they're going to move this way. And that'll be a 12.4.

Speaker 2 Plates. The plates.
If they're moving this way, there's a certain, you know, but if they're moving.

Speaker 1 Teutonic plates. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Ooh. Doesn't always have to be funny.
It can educate.

Speaker 1 No, I like it. I'm

Speaker 2 going to rivet it.

Speaker 1 But do you get it?

Speaker 2 But can you keep up?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. Let's go to look at some stories.
We've covered everything. We didn't cover the Oscars at all, but it's funny.

Speaker 2 Kudos to Conan.

Speaker 1 Oh, wait. Oh, this is cute.
You know how dogs can do a lot of tricks? This is cute. This dog

Speaker 1 alerts people of fainting episodes. This dog, look at how cute it is.
So this woman's going to faint. Bailey comes up.
Hey, I have to try to catch you.

Speaker 1 You need to lay down because you're going to fall, right?

Speaker 1 Put the dishes back. Okay.
Put the cascade away.

Speaker 1 Now now she lays down because she feels it coming on i don't mind that flooring either by the way uh then the dog helps her a little bit and then he goes let me get you a beer or something

Speaker 2 what is it what are you like

Speaker 1 yeah electrolytes here you go look at how good bailey is what a good dog i see that's the dog i want to have because then bailey just turned on the oven

Speaker 2 shut the door put in the pizza rolls now like i'm just going to chill here oh what else is he going to turn the water on he's going to run the garbage Is he gonna do the dishes?

Speaker 2 He's gonna wax the floor with his pop.

Speaker 1 He's like, that's all I know how to do. What is she?

Speaker 1 What do you get her?

Speaker 1 Oh, the medication.

Speaker 2 Fucking Bailey. Now he lays with her.
What a cutie. I know.
You know.

Speaker 1 Oh, I want to hang out with Bailey. After she takes her pillow, he gets her one more garment.
Sniff her butt.

Speaker 1 He goes, This is part of it.

Speaker 2 Take medicine.

Speaker 1 He goes, hey, one for Bailey.

Speaker 1 Lay down. Oh, he wants her to lay down.

Speaker 2 I think he wants to do more fighting.

Speaker 2 I think he's beaten. What's happening?

Speaker 2 Bailey's a bit horny. I'll be honest.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 That's not. Bailey, this isn't part of it.
I was on Team Bailey, but I see the whole thing is set up for that last dry hump. I am.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I didn't like at the end when Bailey went, shh, shh.

Speaker 2 I'm sorry. Bailey was just trying to get late.
Let's just call it. I mean,

Speaker 1 Bailey's like preying on people with feigning spells, I feel.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 We like Bailey.

Speaker 2 You know, where does the phrase horn dog come from? Oh.

Speaker 2 Hello, David.

Speaker 1 I see Bailey's eyes darting right now.

Speaker 2 He should be called.

Speaker 1 I gave her some, you know, and sure.

Speaker 1 All right, let's go to the next one.

Speaker 1 This is such a well-run machine.

Speaker 1 I don't even know what this one is. Oh, oh, Dana, you have to explain to people at home.
I wouldn't do this for a million dollars.

Speaker 1 Two doofuses

Speaker 1 are throwing,

Speaker 1 they're blindfolded, basically. And look what they do.
Would you do this?

Speaker 1 This is full of water.

Speaker 1 They don't know it's coming.

Speaker 2 Oh.

Speaker 1 In the head, would you take

Speaker 1 that'll break your neck.

Speaker 2 I mean, are you? Oh my God.

Speaker 1 And you're continuing to do it. So they have like a gallon filled with some water.

Speaker 1 Dana, could you take this hit to the head?

Speaker 2 Look, I can see.

Speaker 1 I didn't understand that last part.

Speaker 2 Two observations. Alcohol was involved.
Obviously, they're giggling. They're numb.
Number two is what in God's name will we do for clicks and views? And I want you to think about this.

Speaker 2 You're a smart guy. You're a tough guy.
You're a good guy.

Speaker 2 It's tremendous. Think of a stunt we can do so we get, you know, three, what do they get? Two million likes.

Speaker 1 I doubt it. That looks like a low liker, and they put in all that effort.

Speaker 2 Oh, no, I thought it was 1.9.

Speaker 2 Was there millions on that, Heather? I don't see it. 1.87?

Speaker 1 I mean, honestly, if you dropped a feather and it hit my head, I would start crying because I cannot take

Speaker 1 something filled with water. No, no, this.
And when you're not ready for it, oh, my God.

Speaker 2 That was not safe and not good.

Speaker 1 Yeah, welcome to the internet. Okay, what's the next one?

Speaker 1 Don't try this at home. Don't try this podcast at home either.

Speaker 2 Yeah, be careful. All right, here we are.

Speaker 1 What is this? Oh, this is called, this is kind of interesting science. Okay.
This is a phenomenon. It's called spontaneous synchronization.
So they're taking like, what are those things called?

Speaker 1 Melodromes or something?

Speaker 2 Melodromes? Yeah. Five melodromes on a.
a side. And they're off.

Speaker 1 Spontaneous synchronization is a phenomenon where independent oscillating systems like metronomes or fireflies, they naturally fall into sync without any

Speaker 1 external coordination. Look, they're getting closer to being the same.
For what reason?

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 1 It is observed in nature, physics, and even biological processes like heart cells beating

Speaker 2 toy metronomes. We're all discombobulated

Speaker 2 and then achieve synchronicity without any outside help.

Speaker 1 See? Very cool. Okay, you can stop it.

Speaker 2 And you think the universe was just random?

Speaker 1 Yeah, good luck. But they say sometimes girls all have their like, you know, what's together.
So that's, is that, is that sort of the same?

Speaker 2 I don't want to say. Yeah, I'm not involved in this bit.

Speaker 2 I'm not saying a bit. I'm saying

Speaker 1 I've heard that that happens when girls like live together in like a dorm. They all kind of sync it up somehow.

Speaker 2 I'll just put it out there.

Speaker 1 You're being quiet. Do you know this story? Have you heard of this? Yeah, or periods get in sync.
Oh, periods get in sync. Oh, she just nailed it, hammered it in there.

Speaker 2 There's a lot we don't know about the universe.

Speaker 1 I was dancing around it a little bit, but yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Tina just sums it up by saying there's a lot we don't know about the universe.

Speaker 2 But eventually, I mean, we have a telescope out there that's a million miles from Earth now, and we're going to be able to see. And I always have a hard time with this.

Speaker 2 There's light, the Big Bang, Big Bang, Big Bang,

Speaker 2 all the matter of the universe ahead of a pencil, and then it explodes, and all this light comes out, and we're thrown out of here. We'll be able to see back to the beginning of the Big Bang.

Speaker 2 And Big Bang, sorry. And I think they just did it, and all they saw was a giant eyeball blinking.

Speaker 1 At first, I thought you said we have a telescope a million miles away. And I'm like, that's too far.
They should have the telescope here that they could see a million miles away.

Speaker 2 Well, it was cute when it was on a mountain in Hawaii, but then you get out in outer space, you're going to see a lot better.

Speaker 1 Dude, I don't want to know what's out there because I see stuff from the space station and there's clearly UFOs flying around.

Speaker 2 And everyone's like,

Speaker 1 I'm like,

Speaker 1 oh, it's real, Dinah.

Speaker 2 There's a lot of people.

Speaker 1 People got itchy last week when I said I believed in.

Speaker 1 What was it? Cloud seeding? I don't know. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Chemtrails.

Speaker 2 And everyone's like, what?

Speaker 2 What do you mean, chemtrails? Was I there for that?

Speaker 1 Well, they spray and they put stuff in the air.

Speaker 2 Oh, that one. Yeah, yeah.
I remember.

Speaker 1 I think they really do it. Everyone just says, what can I do about it? There's nothing you can do.
You just have to slurp up that

Speaker 2 parasite poison or whatever the fuck it is.

Speaker 1 I hope it's not bad. That's what I was saying.
I said, someone's going to merc somebody if that's real. Because nobody likes to be.
slowly poisoned to death. I don't.

Speaker 2 No. I'm crazy that way.
Yesterday, the eye doctor said to me, you eat a lot of vegetables? I go, yeah, yeah. Spinach, this and that.
He says, spinach is out.

Speaker 2 And he was, he said, no, it's too many toxins when they make

Speaker 2 too many chemicals.

Speaker 1 I go, spinach is out?

Speaker 2 What is in?

Speaker 1 He goes, well, don't

Speaker 1 eat. Salmon with maggots.
Salmon with a bunch of parasites in it. Parasites are the new thing.

Speaker 1 They're probably in everyone to some degree, even they're microscopic or they're the kind they pull out of people. Literally, it's like this.
It's like,

Speaker 2 I've only known kind of human parasites that sort of try to use

Speaker 1 like plus ones.

Speaker 2 I'm more worried. Human beings are the scariest thing on planet Earth.
I'll put it on. Yeah, we're worse.
Yeah, we're worse. We're scary.

Speaker 1 All right. Next great riveting story.

Speaker 2 Yeah, let's do this. Let's dig in.

Speaker 1 Oh, Danny, you'll like this. This is like a scientific thing that Heather won't be able to find.

Speaker 2 The stairwell illusion is one of the hardest to understand. So here's a guy coming down.

Speaker 1 Here's a guy. Just stay.
He's going upstairs. Walking.

Speaker 1 You're not going to like it, Heather. I'm telling you right now.

Speaker 1 I don't even understand it.

Speaker 1 And you're going to think it's.

Speaker 2 Hate it. Hate it.

Speaker 1 Can't stand it.

Speaker 1 Oh, my brain is flipping like a pancake.

Speaker 1 I like they give you a graphic, like you can show it. See how easy it is to figure out? It's a joke.

Speaker 2 That's all.

Speaker 1 I don't think either thing is a real thing.

Speaker 1 It's called an Assyrian stairwell. It's a visual paradox inspired by impossible.

Speaker 2 But it's a normal stairwell that just...

Speaker 1 It creates an optical illusion.

Speaker 2 I need more.

Speaker 1 I'm feeling sick for watching this.

Speaker 2 No, I don't.

Speaker 1 I don't understand it.

Speaker 2 No, I don't.

Speaker 1 It's a documentary about how weird that is. There's a documentary.

Speaker 2 So the basic idea is you're looking someone go up a stairwell. They continue to go up.

Speaker 2 Then it looks to you like they've gone down down and are coming up a lower stairwell something like that something like that i call bullshit

Speaker 1 oh you think it's a camera trick little

Speaker 2 yeah so funny well otherwise let's go to some building a stairwell and with a let's get together with an iphone and make history you'll be the guinea pig no offense or nothing i'll stay back with the iphone let's build an ashusian staircase and just do it that should be our big youtube bit this we have a lot of mysteries And they'll say it's camera tricks, though.

Speaker 1 You know, there'd be a bunch of Danas out there.

Speaker 2 Let's give them something to talk about.

Speaker 1 Let's give them something.

Speaker 2 Whose song is that?

Speaker 1 Bonnie Rate. Yep.

Speaker 2 What about you were just saying the big, big bang.

Speaker 1 The reason I'm that's a song on my iPod. iPod, old man.

Speaker 2 Okay, next.

Speaker 2 Why the raspberries? I don't know. Okay.

Speaker 1 Listen, Dana, if you're like me, you're like me a little bit.

Speaker 2 I think so.

Speaker 1 Adulthood did hit me hard. And you can't run four hours of sleep in cheeseburgers forever.
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Speaker 2 I know. Yeah, me too.
I mean, I'll open the fridge in December and it's like half a pizza and an orange from 1997. Not a lot of healthy options, David.
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Speaker 1 Yeah, it's not just about eating better. It's about time.
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Speaker 1 Did you know I saw that Chile, you're saying it wrong, Chile,

Speaker 1 Chile.

Speaker 1 Is it a country? Yeah.

Speaker 1 They had 19 million people without power out of 21 million

Speaker 1 without power. That's what scares me.

Speaker 1 Those things seem so easy to happen in this world that Just a couple problems in the grid go, you know, that just scares. No power.
They couldn't go in elevators. They're stuck here.

Speaker 1 They're stuck in the street.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, I would not, I would freak. Then everything rots in your fridge.
It's just too much.

Speaker 2 There was Dick Cheney, uh, love him or hayden, but he had one of these quotes: everyone's a Republican when the lights go out. Oh,

Speaker 1 I don't even know what it means, really.

Speaker 1 Well, sounds like a good one.

Speaker 2 It's kind of the environmentalist is the last person to build a cabin on the mountain. But we're so dependent on power, we take it for granted.

Speaker 2 and um i don't know sometimes we have brown outs i don't all i need

Speaker 2 no

Speaker 2 how many how many play by your rules how many bananas do you do a day five it always looks like it has like a high collar on it hello it looks like an ice cream bar for i i don't know i can't

Speaker 2 anyway it's a little fucking on the ancient side did you ever have a frozen chocolate banana dipper oh fuck yes i do okay that's that's a whole other kettle of banana.

Speaker 2 Oh, that's so, I don't know if they have those anymore.

Speaker 1 Who invented those?

Speaker 2 GP. It's a great invention.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I used to go at a dairy queen and light it up with a dilly bar.

Speaker 2 I think as a kid,

Speaker 2 a banana split from Foster Freezer, like a banana split was a magic thing. It had the vanilla, the chocolate, and the strawberry, Neapolitan, and the banana, and then chocolate syrup on top.

Speaker 2 So it was like such an indulgent thing. What'd you do, dude? I got a banana split, man.
Oh, they're on full Monty.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I wonder if people are still listening, but I think they are.
This is, this is so, and I like this kind of talk because it throws me back to when I used to eat more sugar. I fucking loved it.

Speaker 1 I look good in this light. Let's do this at the goddang Vanity Fair party.

Speaker 2 I looked at the metrics, and most people fast forward to minute 45 on Super.

Speaker 1 I want to hear anything about that.

Speaker 2 They just joined us.

Speaker 1 For those of you just joining us, we'll show you our story.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 1 I don't know what this is.

Speaker 2 Okay. No.
Great paint foot.

Speaker 4 Smash ass onto a jean jacket.

Speaker 4 And voila, it's a blob of shit.

Speaker 1 This girl just rates people's fashion.

Speaker 4 That doesn't seem like a five-minute crap to me.

Speaker 4 Crap. All right, take your motherfucking shoelaces out of your shoes and do some early 2000s bullshit

Speaker 4 uh her under panties are gonna show

Speaker 4 that looks like shit

Speaker 1 she's a tough critic what what am i watching please well people get on uh like a tick tock or something on one side they show one like we do and then they just critique it from the other side like they'll have a cook

Speaker 1 and he'll watch someone cooking something go okay you put the stuff in there you're good so far why are you adding that and then they just crit criticize that's like that woman just like trashing someone's yeah dreams she was just uh she's a funny character you look like shit yeah

Speaker 2 um okay next one that's good though i don't do that with you i like your outfits i have a uniform i just wear dana look good at the uh corporate gig heather he had a little suit on did i jacket yeah i'm never i'm never gonna go do stand-up again with a tucked-in shirt because i'm fighting it the whole time it's riding up the buttons, it's no, it's tough to do stand-up, but you're gonna move it around.

Speaker 2 You want to do I need an untucked shirt. Remember the company untucked? Did they go bankrupt? Because call us, untuck it?

Speaker 1 No, they're all there. There's too many of them.

Speaker 2 Yeah, oh, they still exist though because it closed it, yeah. Yeah, okay.
Call us, we'll sponsor you.

Speaker 1 Okay, can you do this, Dana? Okay, I didn't mean to cut you off there, but not at all.

Speaker 2 That was all.

Speaker 1 Could you get out of this? I always think, could I do these things?

Speaker 1 I think I could do this, and I'm so delusional. I think I could do this

Speaker 2 you think you could do this i think you could daniel i i don't know that's pretty that's like a guy sprinting in this snow cone tunnel and just going up and up

Speaker 1 i would have to try it i don't know i would that's a little hope i could do it i would hope i could you're strong i have strong quads and you have endurance that's a tough one but if you're here's the one i think i can do in parkour

Speaker 1 you this is one if i was stuck and it was life or death they jump off a building onto a pole and slide down it's the only way down if it's the only way you just do it you clamp so hard that but you got to grab it exactly perfectly on the way down and grab and then you slide it slows you down a little bit i couldn't do it as good as they do but

Speaker 2 i've seen those yeah um i won't do it unless i have to so don't ask me to do it did you

Speaker 2 were you Were you kind of a daredevil as a kid? Yeah. A little bit sometimes because skateboard or what was your

Speaker 2 skateboarding and then went out for every sport. I had three older brothers, right, stacked.
And so we're living in San Mateo, California.

Speaker 2 And there's these old mattresses, mattresses you find at the dump. Oh, yeah.
And they were jumping out of the second story window on them. And I was four years old.
So I was afraid.

Speaker 2 But the next day, they all went to school and I decided to climb out on the ledge.

Speaker 1 No way.

Speaker 2 And then I sort of panic. So I'm hanging from the window.
And the neighbor calls my mom and says, I think your son, Dana, is hanging from the window. Oh, my gosh.
What are you doing out here?

Speaker 2 What are you doing? What in goodness name? The other time.

Speaker 1 What's green earth are you doing?

Speaker 2 I crawled into the dryer and somehow it got closed behind me. So she said to came in.
I was just, I'm four years old. I weigh like 30 pounds and I'm just like going like this.
On the glass.

Speaker 2 On the glass from the inside.

Speaker 1 Choking on lint.

Speaker 2 Lint.

Speaker 1 Lint Blabby. All right, let's do another.
We don't have to do too many more. We can keep going.

Speaker 2 We're looking good.

Speaker 1 We're killing it, actually.

Speaker 1 What's this joke? Oh, my daughter met Poop and Pea at

Speaker 1 the city wastewater treatment exhibit and cried when we had to leave them. So they have mascots for poop and pee, I guess.

Speaker 2 And what is the point of that? To educate little kids about

Speaker 1 toilets and what goes down.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Look at that.

Speaker 1 The comment goes, and they say, never meet your heroes.

Speaker 2 That's a good one. That's a good one.

Speaker 2 How do I land that gig?

Speaker 2 That's funny.

Speaker 1 Dude, I would do that part-time to make money.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, of course. Dress up in a thing.

Speaker 1 I would do rock, paper, scissors for P. I'd rather be P, I think.

Speaker 2 Did you ever, as a youngster, stand outside like a ice cream store or something and just hold a sign and turn it and stuff? Like, hey, come over here.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, that thing I can't do. Yeah.
I'm not a great stander.

Speaker 1 I i can't stand for hours on end anymore hmm not as much fun as i it used to be standing's good for us it's the sitting compresses oh standing keeps your body moving yeah yeah

Speaker 2 we already walked heather spine heather do we walk you

Speaker 1 walk the crowd we have a crowd of one here and just walk

Speaker 1 same old same old okay so anything final thoughts

Speaker 1 i'll tell you there's an ai tommy boy thing that people keep sending me on uh

Speaker 1 I think the Bell Brothers or someone put out AI Tommy Boy. Maybe we'll play it next week.

Speaker 2 A scene or a movie?

Speaker 1 Yeah, it has

Speaker 1 us going on Shark Tank.

Speaker 2 Within three to five years,

Speaker 2 you will be able to say, Tommy Boy 3, they're in the Army. And then within one second, you'll have a rated feature film and you'll have a film done.

Speaker 1 I could say. And I'll still complain that it was hard to do.

Speaker 2 Wayne and Garth in the Wild West. Boom.
And then the movie would be done. So

Speaker 2 all those people out there, the grips, the lighting people, the makeup party, I don't know what to say. The actors.

Speaker 2 Wayne's World with three,

Speaker 1 they go to Uranus. That would be a good Wayne's World one.

Speaker 2 And then they would giggle.

Speaker 2 They say, let's go to Uranus. And then they would laugh for like 90 minutes.

Speaker 1 Sounds like you're butt.

Speaker 2 I always said, people asked me, what's with Wayne's World? I said the two biggest losers in town are the happiest people in town. Yeah, I like it because they ritualize every single moment.

Speaker 1 They're in a good mood.

Speaker 2 People like to see people that are having fun. Yeah, let's go to Stan Makitas, man.
Get some donuts.

Speaker 1 By the way, I think there's an assembly of Busboys so far. An assembly.
I haven't seen it. We're letting the director.
Jonah is going to do something.

Speaker 2 Well, like Spielberg, you have assemblies just constantly updated. You're seeing

Speaker 2 every day you have the scene cut on some. So you should have a rough cut by now.

Speaker 1 I've only seen a couple scenes cut, which I liked. So, but I think the trick is: what's everything in a rogue? People don't know.
You shoot a movie out of sequence. Some people know.

Speaker 1 So you don't really have any continuity. You're like, you shoot your last scene first and a middle one, then one of the first one, then you go.

Speaker 1 So it's very hard to get it to feel how it's going as a story.

Speaker 2 What's the heart-tugger?

Speaker 2 Well, they're busboys. They struggle.

Speaker 1 yeah yeah his dad's in jail okay and you get

Speaker 1 he gets hit by a car early on like he's a little off and uh

Speaker 1 and then we he doesn't really have a dad and his mom doesn't really like him so I take him in with geez it's like Joe Dew or something

Speaker 1 it's like any

Speaker 1 any movie where people are like have stacked against well if this is a classic comedy R-rated

Speaker 2 maybe

Speaker 2 75 minutes and then you have the you know, the closing credits.

Speaker 2 That's only an hour 15. Well, then closing credits will pad you at 85.

Speaker 1 So we'll definitely do a gag reel.

Speaker 2 If it's got these tent pole funny scenes, that's all people really live for.

Speaker 2 Like five or six really big funny moments.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's all you need.

Speaker 1 I think we're going to get it down to about an hour 40 and then have Judd look at it and make it 220.

Speaker 2 It's weird, but Theo hit me up. And this is kind of, I shouldn't even say this, but

Speaker 2 I'm editing Busboys. You are?

Speaker 2 I'm the editor.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't mind that. I would trust you.

Speaker 2 I think it's going to be great. You come off great.
Theo's.

Speaker 1 I don't know the editor, but I've seen a few things. So I, and, you know, the director gets, per the union, he gets the first cut.
So I don't mind that. That's the way it's always been.

Speaker 1 So he's going to get it. He's going to report while he's doing it.
And then.

Speaker 1 We'll all go in there and take a look. So I'm excited.
Yeah. Anyway, we did it.
We still did it in an hour. Look at us, Dana.

Speaker 2 I know. We're just, it's shit.
I don't know how wasted. I don't know how we do it.
No, people are eating dinner and doing stuff. That's why they're riveted.
This shit's great.

Speaker 2 We should be called the backgrounders. This is what you listen to when you're doing

Speaker 1 while you're doing something important.

Speaker 2 Superfly happens while you're busy making other plans.

Speaker 1 You know what? John Lennon. Yeah, that's what that's what life is, too.

Speaker 1 Life. Wait, what is the phrase?

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
John Lennon, Beautiful Boy, Double Fantasy Album, 1980. All right.

Speaker 2 People quote the line, but they don't remember where it came from.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Okay, that's it. So we'll see you next time.
We'll see you next time on

Speaker 1 so you can buy tickets for the tour now on my David Spitz.

Speaker 2 And also, we're at the Fantasy Springs office. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 We're going to, we're going, by the time this happens, we'll be there the next day.

Speaker 2 Right? So then you get a two-for-one.

Speaker 1 No, it's not. Oh, it's in a week.
Oh, yeah. Okay.
Okay.

Speaker 2 It's not the next week. We do our funny stuff, and then we're going to come out, and

Speaker 2 it's going to be mayhem.

Speaker 2 We're going to take take questions i don't want to use the term razzle dazzle but you'll be razzle let's put it this way it's called nothing's off the table tour we only we only have two dates in the tour we've already done one we've done one we're halfway done yeah but uh it should be a banger it's mostly because i don't think dana wants to go around the world and do this i don't it's we're it's getting late in the game to just go hey you guys want to do a world tour we're like oh my god i don't know because the podcast is seen everywhere she's like you want to go to australia you want to to go to England?

Speaker 1 I'm like, I love those places. I just don't know.

Speaker 1 Heather wants to go, of course.

Speaker 2 You want to tour like the Rolling Stones. They do a date and then they take four days off.
They pack Mick and Ice. They do a thing.
He's extraordinary. But I'm not.
My friend? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Your friend, your buddy, your Doppelinger. You guys are like twins or something, but you're much younger.
But he's in incredible shape. But they do take four days off, then they do another one.

Speaker 2 So they tour, and it's six weeks.

Speaker 1 And they're in a 747, and they stay at the Taj and it's arenas.

Speaker 2 But yeah, you don't, there's ways to do like little mini, you know, but we're in a motel tour,

Speaker 2 which started three years ago, and they're going round and round. I mean, it's just like, I don't know, that's that wears people out.

Speaker 2 I get it.

Speaker 1 All right, we're gonna end. All right, okay, I'll see you later, Dana.
Bye, guys.

Speaker 1 This has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly. It's executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss-Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro, and Greg Holtzman.
Hope you liked it.