SUPERFLY #56 - SNL50!

Speaker 1 All right, cold mornings,

Speaker 1 holiday plans, endless to-do lists.

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Speaker 1 Dana, wake up. This is the earliest we've ever done.
This

Speaker 2 I'm up at

Speaker 2 6, 6.15 every morning,

Speaker 2 but

Speaker 2 we're recording very early. This is farmers' hours.
I don't want to give it a time, but it's very early. You can see that we both have drinking problems.

Speaker 2 So we have sunglasses on because we haven't been able to go to our dermatologists and get that sort of sponge

Speaker 2 vacuum thing they do for.

Speaker 1 I'll be doing it. Someone in the comments said, you drink too much.
You look so shitty. I go, I don't barely drink at all.
So it might be Mother Nature.

Speaker 2 Newspapers.

Speaker 1 Thanks for your commentary.

Speaker 2 If you drink heavy, you're going to get booze face, resting booze face. But if you drink light and hydrate, then let her know.
I'll tell you another thing.

Speaker 2 If you like processed carbohydrates, a lot of them, like a lot of them,

Speaker 2 it's uh

Speaker 2 tough on the old epidural around the cranium.

Speaker 1 Okay, so hey, Dana, your epidermis is showing.

Speaker 2 Jesus,

Speaker 2 is doing AM things now. What is this? Good morning, America.

Speaker 1 Now, Jesus, this is the cockadoodle-doo show. So, what happened? We're doing this because we did already do Superfly Saturday in New York to give people

Speaker 1 a summary on this this episode of the rehearsal the blah blah blah but we didn't do the real show yeah so we're just doing a pickup mm-hmm an intro a few things about the live show and we'll probably do it again next week right because there was too much going on there was too much going on we can only do it saturday and then i thought well how can we talk about the sunday night 50th on saturday

Speaker 2 and david i remember you your eyes got real big and you went blank you're like holy topics i didn't even put that together.

Speaker 2 You're like, we can't talk about what hasn't happened yet, but now it has happened. So

Speaker 2 I wasn't there. I had the flu.
I was on the downside of it, but I still didn't have the oomph to travel. It wasn't recommended.
So you went to represent our podcast. What do you got to say?

Speaker 1 The most questions I got about it, I'll just go through it. Aside from where's Dana, which we cleared up,

Speaker 1 which you did want to be there and you would have fucking killed it, of course,

Speaker 1 Was

Speaker 1 Ryan Reynolds and Blake being there? A, why were they there? They were there because I think they both hosted. If you have hosted, you are invited.
You can come to any of those events, correct?

Speaker 2 Yes. And of course,

Speaker 2 we all know this, whatever. I don't do a deep dive on it, but there's some kind of legal action with some actor, Baldinos, it sounds like some kind of pasta place.

Speaker 2 And,

Speaker 2 you know, I don't know what it is. I i don't deep dive on it like you and and heather and greg do but our team but you guys

Speaker 1 but uh i thought it was kind of funny because it's been in all the newspapers yes i'm from the 50s all the newspapers and when ryan reynolds said what have you heard basically tongue-in-cheek about it it was a good moment just that was funny yeah but if it was funny they should go they should go to the show they're like us just whatever's going on you try to make a joke about it but uh now listen so they show up i think nothing of it i don't really even put it all together why are they there i'm like oh, yeah, they host everyone there is a celebrity wherever you walk.

Speaker 2 It's 400 people and they're celebrities or old billionaires. There was a lot of

Speaker 2 walking cadavers.

Speaker 2 There was a lot of veterans.

Speaker 1 Action cadavers. There was walking cadavers.

Speaker 1 There was one foot in the grave.

Speaker 2 Well, remember those, you'd see those old, old-timey things. It's 1935.
And here these Civil War veterans are now marching down Times Square.

Speaker 2 These gentlemen gentlemen are now 119 but fought in the civil war and they're in wheelchairs it's very sad and poignant but uh you give them some applause we had some seniors i would have been a senior i'm not i'm busting myself too go ahead yeah someone gave me a compliment they said i got old fast so i said oh i haven't i mean i got old and the truth is i got old the normal way but they just said it just seems very rapid i said okay thank you i don't like when people haven't seen you out and they get a scared look on their face they don't say anything they just they just go casually casually, holy shit.

Speaker 2 They just go, whoa.

Speaker 2 I like that other version of you.

Speaker 1 What happened?

Speaker 1 Okay, so Blake and Ryan, here's my theory.

Speaker 1 Two theories about this whole thing that people have asked me. One, it was funny.
Two,

Speaker 1 I think Taylor Swift did not come. She came last time to the 40th, but I think

Speaker 1 they're in a bit of a snit. I hate to use these words, but I think there's a little bit of minor friction, possibly.
I don't know for sure.

Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 2 yeah.

Speaker 2 I should insert this before you go any further.

Speaker 2 And I know it's going to come off like a non-sequitur, but I watched the 50th with Taylor.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I know. We're just friends, casual friends, and I don't really go public with it, but she had a lot to say.

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 1 I think maybe there was some something there. Also, there was some kerfuffle because I guess Scarlett was married to Ryan Reynolds, Scarlett Johansson, and she was all over the show.

Speaker 1 But not all over Ryan Reynolds. What a lovely human.
She was so fun. She's a great SNL, like Borderline Cast member.
And she was not all over Ryan Reynolds.

Speaker 1 I didn't put that together for the longest time, but no one. actually gave a fat fuck.
No one said anything. She wasn't weird.
No one was weird about it.

Speaker 1 But I read that and I'm like, this is always written by someone that wasn't there. But anyway, we were having fun.
And here's a little nug.

Speaker 1 You know, Wally.

Speaker 1 I love that Wally, he always gets shout outs. I told him that he gets shout outs a lot.
He's our cue card guy since day one.

Speaker 2 For decades.

Speaker 2 The best. The best.
And it's a sneakily, really difficult job when he's timing those cards to the actor.

Speaker 1 They're sneakily heavy. And a side note.
When Tom Hanks gave a speech at the Lorne, like toast.

Speaker 2 Oh, the toast to Lorne.

Speaker 1 The toast to Lorne.

Speaker 1 Seth was funny. Tina was extremely funny.
And then Tom Hanks got up and he goes, this is going to be a long speech.

Speaker 1 So, and then he had Wally come out with the cue cards, just in the middle of a bar and do the cue cards so he could read it. That's a good joke.
That's a good bit. Okay.
So Wally, Wally

Speaker 1 gets

Speaker 1 not tricked, but he goes on a radio station. In Australia, you know, I don't know how many press events Wally's doing.

Speaker 1 The cue car guy goes on a restaurant one novel or something it's hysterical but you know how it's like he's so sweet naive they definitely want to get one answer from him so at the very end they go hey by the way what was with that ryan rounds thing god just goes did he just make that up or was that an ad-lib or was it and he said oh he had a different line in the script and then he came up with that and well that's got that's sort of archetypal, it's a classic line.

Speaker 2 I guess we're gonna see it, yeah, right.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's such a throwaway, but because of the situation, here's what I saw.

Speaker 3 Let's see, you're telling me the SNL's plan was not to have Brian Reynolds poke fun at his wife's SH allegations, but it was actually

Speaker 2 sexual switch it up with a little improv.

Speaker 3 I 1000% believe that cue card Wally, who has been doing the cue card for SNL for the past,

Speaker 3 is on the Fifi Feminine show, and he actually spilled the teeth.

Speaker 2 Um, Brian Reynolds and Blake Lively have been in the news a lot and Ryan Reynolds

Speaker 2 was that an improv or was it scripted his little piece he did?

Speaker 2 That was actually we he had a different line in rehearsal and he pitched that to replace it. So that was his idea to do it.
He pitched

Speaker 2 we wouldn't want to do anything

Speaker 2 unless they were in on it.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 that was his line.

Speaker 2 That was his idea to do it.

Speaker 1 Right. He said he wouldn't, we wouldn't want anyone to do something that they had they weren't in on, which is true.

Speaker 1 We're not there to bamboozle a host or so he had to, he had to be aware of it.

Speaker 2 It was a classic, why, what have you heard? When there's, it was perfect. Great.

Speaker 1 Right. And they didn't elaborate.
They just did it.

Speaker 2 But when you're saying this, the Baldini

Speaker 2 lively extravaganza kind of was all over the show. I texted Lauren afterwards.
You know, I wish I could have been there. And

Speaker 2 instead of talking about the show, he just goes, Baldini will now counter sue. I think that Lively will probably get a new attorney.
And I said, but boy, that Tom Hanks was great.

Speaker 2 And what about that monologue with Steve? And he goes, I don't know where Ryan Reynolds is on this, but certainly they have meatball.

Speaker 2 So it really,

Speaker 2 it's big at that 50th.

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 Baldoni's meatball shop is still open.

Speaker 1 But I will say, Baldino,

Speaker 1 we've said it wrong literally every single time. at

Speaker 2 the towels. I would like, I'll say this right now.

Speaker 2 If he wants to come on and tell us something. Oh, yeah, he could tell us anything.
I would love that.

Speaker 1 We're the new fucking kiki, boo-poo, and pop-pop show in Australia.

Speaker 2 Now,

Speaker 2 we're going to put a shrimp on a babby. Barbie? So, Babby.

Speaker 1 I would say that it's also,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 being at the SNL thing

Speaker 1 and everyone sort of saying, hey, cool, Ryan Reynolds and Blake are here. It helps.

Speaker 2 Okay, enough of them. Now, I missed it.
So what did I miss? What was the most emotional or fun? I watched this show.

Speaker 1 I did see Eddie Murphy. People asked me if I'm tight with Eddie Murphy.

Speaker 1 Everything bad has evaporated. I walked by him.
I saw him at something, and then he was at Chris Rock's thing. I didn't talk to him, but there's absolutely no anything anymore.
Everyone was cool.

Speaker 1 He was in sketches. He was upbeat.
The 40th, remember, he didn't do anything.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Tracy Morton's impression was great.

Speaker 1 And then he did that, Black Jeopardy.

Speaker 1 I had a great seat for that one. I saw it.
Hilarious.

Speaker 1 Good to see Eddie doing Eddie stuff like that. He's great at it.
I walked past him on the way into the show, and he put his arm back and blocked me. And so I had to say hi and come on.

Speaker 1 He was super cool. Dapped him up.
Is too much lingo for you, Dana?

Speaker 2 What is the phrase water under the bridge? Who started that? I mean, it was Billy Bridge or Stevie Water, but water under the bridge means that whole thing with you and Eddie is so over.

Speaker 2 Now you're friends.

Speaker 2 We were screwing up behind my cool speech.

Speaker 1 Yes, we were friendly.

Speaker 1 We should have taken a picture because it was fun to see him. And then there was no weird vibes at the show.

Speaker 2 Okay, sketch of the night.

Speaker 1 Blink. Sketch of the night.
Oh, that's tough.

Speaker 1 I liked a lot of different things. I liked Amy and Tina going.

Speaker 1 am I being too political? No, I liked Amy and Tina going into the audience and QA. They're always funny to me.

Speaker 1 When you see the script and it says audience QA and there's 35 celebrities listed in the cast that are in, that's so fun because Peyton Manning is doing one joke. Everyone flies in for one joke.

Speaker 2 It's great.

Speaker 1 And some hit really big.

Speaker 1 I thought the combo of Lovett's is joke, which is funny that he's sitting at the so far away in the American Girls Story store. That's good.
Hilarious. And then he goes, I'm not mad.

Speaker 2 I'm just saying. I just want to know why.
Yeah. I think it was the, yeah.
So

Speaker 2 T and Amy are great writers, super light.

Speaker 1 And then they come back and she said, oh, we gave that seat to Julia Louise's,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 2 bad that I couldn't go because I think that

Speaker 2 Mike and I were supposed to do Wayne's World. So I was glad and I thought that Linda Richmond, the coffee talk woman, came out and really scored.
And we talked about it.

Speaker 2 And I said, Miles Teller was kind of nice looking, playing it very real with them. And they're the Long Island Amy and Maya.

Speaker 2 And then Linda Richmond comes in like this neurotic, like crazy person. And he's landing all his hooks.
And they're playing it kind of straight. They're trying to understand this crazy character.

Speaker 2 So I thought that landed very nice. So I was happy about that for letting me know.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Mike got a good score in there. And you know, it was good because it was,

Speaker 1 and Wayne's World would have done great, but it was fun to see that because the show was bloated out to about 320 320 yeah

Speaker 2 Wayne's World would have done great I would have been really happy to do it but I couldn't make it

Speaker 1 yeah Garth looks sickly I saw him the other day at the mall

Speaker 2 the Garth Garth Brooks no you're Garth he's like oh

Speaker 1 he's just walking around he's at the comic book store

Speaker 2 he just got cubes man so leave him alone.

Speaker 1 He's a Kylo. You know what was one I would have edited out? And this is a ballsy tape.

Speaker 2 Uh-oh. Hot tape.

Speaker 1 Are you ready for fucking front headlines? Edit.

Speaker 1 I would have lifted the balloo she at the end.

Speaker 2 That just made me sad.

Speaker 1 It made me sad. And Paul Garnett was following it.

Speaker 2 Great. Because Tom Schiller

Speaker 2 was a great little filmmaker. He did some cool stuff.
But in that moment, I felt a little sad.

Speaker 1 Well, first of all, Bill Murray's there. He's watching all his friends.
If we were there and we see people that we were super tight with and they're all passed away, it just,

Speaker 1 it's heavy for me. And I'm not, I wasn't, didn't know them all.
And then it just makes the whole place go, holy shit. Now, that was a big, famous video they shot for like

Speaker 2 Tom Schiller,

Speaker 2 Tom Schiller.

Speaker 1 Maybe the first or second or third season, right?

Speaker 2 Yes. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And it was cool. And Blushie was really good in it.

Speaker 2 It just was sort of a left turn after scared straight. And Debbie downer every time i see it i'm happy and the reason i get so happy is that the sound effects start to change over time yeah

Speaker 1 and i want i actually wanted more i wanted a uh foghorn

Speaker 2 wood chopper

Speaker 1 uh also uh i wanted to hear birds coming in.

Speaker 2 Ah, ah.

Speaker 1 All they push into her. Just anything staring.

Speaker 2 Oh, anything. That's great.
We always love to see that. And Rich, she's great.

Speaker 2 Now, what do you think? Chevy at the beginning, because I know some of the people he was listening, you know, top 10 update. He did say in not any particular order.

Speaker 1 Oh, you're talking with Bill Murray?

Speaker 2 Bill Murray, sorry. Did I say Chevy? Oh, Bill Murray.

Speaker 2 Not in any particular order. Chevy was on there, but we saw our friend Dennis was on there.

Speaker 1 Oh, on the update. We did update.

Speaker 2 Update. Bill Murray.
Top 10.

Speaker 1 my first update guys my first bill murray story before i tell you that was they put you in the audience and you look at your placards you know during rehearsal you see where everyone's going to wind up sitting and you go oh that person's here oh they're coming and then i was over here i told you i was nowhere near you and then when i went to the show they they go you're your place is different and it was front row next to bill murray And in front of a Meryl Street Marty Shore.

Speaker 1 I was like, oh, this is great. And

Speaker 1 Brandy Carlisle to my love. So I go, this is super fun.
And they do it. And then Bill Murray's backstage.
But when we go out, it's three minutes. And they're like, oh, he's not out there.

Speaker 1 So bless his heart, seat filler comes in. They do a joke about Bill Murray to cut to him

Speaker 1 is the point of it. And the camera guy goes like this.
And he goes, I see him on the headset. He's like, he's not there.
And they put the camera. I'm like, oh, what a bummer.

Speaker 2 There's two people there I would have actually sheepishly went up to with pen and paper and said, excuse me, could I get an autograph? Right. That would have been Meryl Streep and Brandy Carlisle.

Speaker 2 Those would have been two people. I went, I don't ever do this, and I don't want a picture, I want a signature.
So I thought Meryl Streep was it was so fun to watch her in the

Speaker 2 abduction alien sketch with next to Kate McGinnon because she was having

Speaker 2 so much fun. And when it ended, you could see she was on a high because she's done everything, but has she done

Speaker 2 sketches?

Speaker 1 Never hosted,

Speaker 2 never hosted. Yeah, maybe Streep will now.
I guess her and Martin Short are uh

Speaker 2 friends. Again, I

Speaker 1 we don't know friends with Benny's.

Speaker 2 I want to hang out with Martin Short as much as I could, actually.

Speaker 1 Yeah, what are they if they are together fun? Because remember, we all went to the store, we all went to the comedy stall that night, and uh, what a fun thing. It's fun, those two look like a blast.

Speaker 2 Well, Martin, I don't know her, I just know she's a genius, but she's also seems very real. And Martin Short can go from serious, dramatic, profound, to funny

Speaker 2 in a flash. So

Speaker 2 if you're at a party and you sit next to him, then you're just happy. He's not always on, but he can be on.

Speaker 1 She seemed very lighthearted.

Speaker 1 And I love seeing Nicholson there.

Speaker 2 That was very cool. He's like a teardrop.

Speaker 1 Like, what a freaking movie star.

Speaker 2 Ladies and gentlemen, Adam Sandler.

Speaker 2 Hey, thank you. Well, thank you, Jack.

Speaker 2 I'm doing Sandler in his real voice, not the blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 2 And his song was great great and very emotional. That teared me up.
Yeah, you know,

Speaker 2 six years, Jan.

Speaker 1 Gave props to everyone. Yeah.
Got a standing ovation. Yeah.

Speaker 2 The only standing oh with our friend Sandman, just

Speaker 2 saying, but it was emotional and well written. Dan Bula on the keyboards.
Yeah, of course.

Speaker 2 Adam's right-hand man.

Speaker 1 You know what I do like about this whole thing, Dana, is aside from Bula is great. I didn't mean to cut you off there.

Speaker 1 When you see a host like Adam Driver, who I don't know from Adam, I don't know this guy.

Speaker 2 Literally.

Speaker 1 He's just a big star,

Speaker 1 seems kind of quiet. He just comes like everyone comes and just says, hey, if you want to put me in something, if not, I'll sit in the audience.
This will be a fun event.

Speaker 1 And they go, this is how it works. They write a sketch.
They wrote that New York musical sketch and they go, hey, Adam Driver, you're here. Do you want to play a hot dog?

Speaker 2 He goes,

Speaker 2 yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And puts on a hot dog costume, goes out there. Maya's a syringe.
I didn't figure out she was a syringe and I was in it.

Speaker 1 it took me until the very end because i took a picture of her oh i never posted that one heather i should have maya being a syringe was so funny she's backstage yeah it was a little dark but it those things are so much fun i love nathan lame my old buddy from

Speaker 2 cocaine and vodka coming out cocaine and you know i'll just say this for inside baseball when you're a movie star you're in your trailer most of the time

Speaker 2 you go out you do 20

Speaker 1 takes of something it's so slow motion and then you go here and it's live and you're dressed like a hot dog it's just a rush and everyone's laughing during your take instead of after when you're in a movie you're not allowed to make any noise yeah and everyone's high fiving you and you're just running into people you don't even know and they're like hey i saw you and this yeah yeah so but he was cool he was also a score

Speaker 1 i was telling you earlier when julie louise has her seeing eye dog the dog's blind and she goes he's getting weird vibes from

Speaker 1 adam driver next to him the energy and adam driver's like this

Speaker 1 just staring just not playing it too big just staring off well that guy. Because everyone says he's got a weird vibe.

Speaker 2 It's so funny.

Speaker 2 Look it up. It's not probably on Amazon Prime.
You can look up Ferrari.

Speaker 2 He was so

Speaker 2 good in that. Well, he was ridiculous in that.
I mean,

Speaker 2 it's kind of a dark movie, but that guy's brilliant. So to see him do live sketch, I think he had a time of his life, you know?

Speaker 1 Cool, dude. We will wrap it up because we have the actual podcast.

Speaker 2 But other than that,

Speaker 1 Kevin Coster was just there at rehearsal, just watching. They wound up putting him in the audience just because he was coming to the show.
He went to rehearsal. He was at Chris's.

Speaker 1 So he felt right into the mix.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 2 Costner just looks cool. He just always looks cool.
I don't know what. He looked cool.

Speaker 1 He looked like someone from Young Guns. He's just standing inside.
He's very comfortable. Like you can talk to him and he's very nice.

Speaker 1 If no one's talking to him, he's okay just being by himself, just staring, watching.

Speaker 2 Oh, if you talk to him, so I don't know if people know this. like he's an inventor.

Speaker 2 He loves movies, don't get me wrong, but he'll talk about he had stuff for when the

Speaker 2 Gulf of Mexico, now the Gulf of America, there was an oil spill in his town

Speaker 2 technology to do that. So he's like an inventor as well as a producer-director.
Dancing with Wolves was good.

Speaker 1 Go out on Atlanta. That was fine.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Wolves were not dancing.

Speaker 1 I'm a movie reviewer. It would be nothing without the wolves.

Speaker 2 Okay, that's it.

Speaker 1 So let's leave it at that. And now we're going into the real podcast that we already did that will tell you about the rehearsals and all that.

Speaker 2 Second time now, you'll, this is like sort of a trippy one because now it's so comfortable

Speaker 2 talking and not before the actual 50th. So this is a little Twilight Zone, a little broad surly for you.
So don't get thrown.

Speaker 1 Okay, thanks. And we will see you on the other half of this podcast.

Speaker 2 God save the queen.

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Speaker 1 Okay, so Dana, I'm here

Speaker 1 at a hotel.

Speaker 2 Let me guess

Speaker 2 the four seasons.

Speaker 2 No, I'm not going to tell everyone. I'm just going by the wall.

Speaker 2 What does it matter?

Speaker 1 This isn't matter. It's over.
Well, I'm here during the SNL weekend, and

Speaker 1 I will walk you through the the steps. And we're only on just full disclosure:

Speaker 1 Saturday night, is that what it is?

Speaker 1 And the show is Sunday night.

Speaker 1 So, this is airing Friday. So, this is a little ahead, but people will know I'm not giving spoilers because it's over already.

Speaker 2 Right.

Speaker 2 And for me, I had lingering effects from the flu, cough,

Speaker 2 and fatigue. So, I was told not to travel.
So, I couldn't make it.

Speaker 2 But if I had made it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I saw where you were sitting in the audience.

Speaker 2 I was like, oh, they'll placard.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they don't even put us. We're not even near each other, which is the worst thing.

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 2 yeah, isn't John Lovett, didn't, we're past tense now. Didn't John Lovitz and Kevin Nealon sit together?

Speaker 1 We don't know.

Speaker 1 Half the fun we were saying is looking where they put all the placards. You're like, holy shit, this is going to be.

Speaker 1 I was eating my Caesar salad and I realized I was in Meryl Streep's seat, but we'll show a picture of that. I'll send the picture, Heather.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 so just now I got back from rehearsal.

Speaker 1 They put me in a line and a sketch. So

Speaker 1 it is the longest sketch.

Speaker 2 It's not the Californians, wasn't it?

Speaker 1 No, no. I'm thinking of the 40th.
This is Mulaney, and I'm like, I don't even have have to read it. Mulaney and Colin Jones wrote it.

Speaker 2 I love it. Oh, let me guess.

Speaker 2 They did a big Broadway show. Yep.

Speaker 1 It's kind of, it's singing.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. That's he, he did one when I was there in the fall.
It was very cool. A lot of moving parts.
I think a bus came in, Bo and Yang came out. It's like, oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 And Pete Davidson is always there at the beginning.

Speaker 1 And I'm with Pete Davidson at the beginning. So we're, we're by a hot dog cart and we're basically saying, hey, we're new to New York.
It's 1975.

Speaker 1 We're artists and we're excited to.

Speaker 1 And John's like, Don't you know that it's New York? And you read the screen, it's 1975. No one wants to be here.
It's the city's trash at this point, dangerous. So we're trying to figure out.

Speaker 1 He kind of walks us through. He goes, I'll let New York speak for itself.
And then, you know, someone comes out as a hot dog.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. I've seen them.
They're very entertaining and really, really produce big, big, big, big kind of

Speaker 2 number.

Speaker 1 We're over on the side. And I go, don't squinch us over here.
But then it moves to, I think, Maya.

Speaker 2 It takes up multiple sets and space. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You go, us, Maya, Adam Driver sing. A lot of people can sing.
You know, I think you can sing too. I don't really sing.

Speaker 2 So luckily I'm singing. No, no, I'm not.
Not Maya can sing. Maya can sing.

Speaker 1 A lot of these girls, Kristen Wigg is there. I love.
She,

Speaker 1 I never see her. I never see her out.
So a lot of fun to see her. She sings.

Speaker 1 It's funny. Scarlett Johansson, just the most random group.
That's the fun of having people back, like the 40th. You just throw people in.

Speaker 1 I think Billy Crystal's in it. I think Nathan Lane.

Speaker 2 Well, that's the kind of sketch that you could really put a lot of people in it. Yeah, just cram them in.
Yeah. Everybody gets, you could just think of, oh, he'll do this.
She'll do that.

Speaker 1 Everyone gets to laugh.

Speaker 1 and so uh

Speaker 1 so i just ran home and just walked on here because they

Speaker 1 our run-through for our sketch was what was it four hours i think at least yeah and that's long for a rehearsal four and a half so we got there i had to use heidi gardner's dressing room

Speaker 1 and i got and when i got in there because you know there's a shortage yeah so i go in this dressing room and there's all i go is this someone's dressing room they're like yeah it's heidi's I was like, well, that's nice that she's cool.

Speaker 1 I feel bad. And then I see a gift bag and there's also one for Ryan Reynolds.
And they're like, oh, he's using it right now, but his sketch is done.

Speaker 1 So he and Blake are leaving. And

Speaker 1 you take over now. So if he comes back in, he'll just grab his gift bag.
So when I'm leaving,

Speaker 1 of course, I have to do a bit. He's signing something.
And I go behind him and go, Oh, wait, are you getting paid for this?

Speaker 1 And,

Speaker 1 oh, big laughs by the page desk. And then

Speaker 1 said hi, and then we talked for a second. Then I went in and waited for our sketch, but really fun rehearsal day.

Speaker 2 Did you use your time in New York City around all these

Speaker 2 talented, famous people to pitch them coming on one of the.

Speaker 1 You know what? I didn't.

Speaker 2 Oh, it's so awkward.

Speaker 1 It's so awkward. But a lot of people have seen it.
A lot of people say we saw it, you know, or they listened to it or whatever. Everyone's very cool.
You know, one of the cool things was

Speaker 1 when I was waiting to go

Speaker 1 on, I saw just Kevin Costner standing in 8H just watching.

Speaker 1 And so naturally, I just go chat him up. But he's just like, yeah, I'm not in the show.
I'm just checking it out.

Speaker 1 I said, hey, if you need, if Yellowstone needs a punch up, we get some big fucking laughs in there. We got some big set pieces we can do.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he's uh he's pretty cool i'll tell you a little one-minute story so

Speaker 2 sounds like a while back i was doing uh i don't know

Speaker 2 bob costas charity event in st louis for whatever reason i don't demand anything but i was doing a corporate in texas and bob costas provided a private jet for me uh to st louis

Speaker 2 And then it was going to take me home. So then we do the show and Costner's there with his band.

Speaker 2 and he's really good it's like a country where it's about i go your songs here it came off of this catchy songs he goes catchy he thought maybe it was a diss catchy what do you mean catchy well catchy's good that's the the beatles are good but then we're at the the after thing we're at the table having fun talking and stuff and uh it came out that i have a private jet it was a citation 10 brand new taking me back at that point i was living in the bay area So I said, you should jump on.

Speaker 2 Yeah, for sure. So for about two hours, he was coming on the jet.
It was going to be really fun hanging out. Oh, my God.
How fun. And then the guy came over, whatever.

Speaker 2 Somebody came over and said, oh, sorry. The jet can't

Speaker 2 drop you off in Napa, California, and then take Kevin to Santa Barbara.

Speaker 2 Why not? Then it was a big.

Speaker 2 But then this is the part where... And I was like saying, yeah, but we could drop him off.
You know, I was just kind of embarrassed in a way. Why do I have a jet second?

Speaker 2 And then he was so cool about it. Oh, this doesn't matter.
It's fine.

Speaker 2 He was just, and not even for one second,

Speaker 2 one millisecond did he go, what that guy going to jet? And I'm not. So anyway, that's a showbiz story right there.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. I saw a clip of Yellowstone the other day.
He goes, hey, Rip, hire someone here and don't hire some sissy.

Speaker 1 Like, okay. And then they hire a girl that's like sort of a redneck girl.
That's the only clip I just saw.

Speaker 2 There is no more alpha male show, and it was a sleeper. It built the whole Taylor-Sheridan empire.
Now we have Landman,

Speaker 2 Landman. But when I first started watching Yellowstone, because I love that.
I was bullied as, you know, I was a little kid. So I love the idea.
You and me are going to tussle.

Speaker 2 You want to throw down him? Come on. You know, every guy wants to beat the shit out of someone else for just looking at him the wrong way.
Yeah. You're talking to me.

Speaker 2 I'll talk back to you with my fist.

Speaker 1 I'll beat your fucking ass. Yeah, he has a a cool gruff voice in it um

Speaker 1 love coster i love we're talking about coster the only guy that is not in the show but he is cool and everyone needs to understand that it's really fun to see him in the real world i'm gonna do a day in and hold this hey folks what's going on a little crowd work yeah i do a little

Speaker 1 have you tried the meal you guys you guys married here's what i do when i do crowd work i go They always have shitty appetizers. So I go to a couple.
I go, what'd you guys have there?

Speaker 1 Chili bites?

Speaker 1 And they're like, no I let them answer what'd you guys have and they're like oh hot dog mini wieners and I go no that's not a good one hey what'd you guys have there I'll do it to you Dana and then you say

Speaker 2 what do I say

Speaker 2 you say pizza well normally they're having pizza bread or something like that yeah yeah say pizza bread hey you guys you guys together yep say yes yep yes uh what do you what are you guys having uh pizza bread oh anniversary or something anyway then i walk over here.

Speaker 2 So the joke is for a shit for an anniversary, they're just having pizza bread. Yeah,

Speaker 1 and I look around, I go, what'd you have?

Speaker 2 Big pretzel? Oh, anniversary, birthday, or something?

Speaker 2 My go-to is this is.

Speaker 2 I think it was great. I just want to know

Speaker 2 if you use this joke. Going back to the 80s.

Speaker 1 And I will,

Speaker 1 whatever you say.

Speaker 2 It changed. It changed.
Heckler heckles, right? So heckle me. Hey, I'm Dana Carvey, and what's going on? Hey.

Speaker 2 Oh, hey.

Speaker 1 Bring on the last guy.

Speaker 2 Hey, man. Hey, man.
I don't come to jack in the box and bother you when you're working.

Speaker 1 God, applause.

Speaker 2 It would kill. And you know what

Speaker 2 the 2025 one is?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I don't come to your job and slap the dick out of your

Speaker 1 mouth.

Speaker 2 while you're working. I kill that one.
That always kills. A little x-rayed for me, though.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's a little, Dana, you're, you can work clean. You and Nate Bergatzi.

Speaker 2 No, Nate is perfectly clean.

Speaker 1 Oh, I will tell you one more story before we get into it.

Speaker 1 I, so I land,

Speaker 1 I run into Anya,

Speaker 1 Anya Taylor Joy on the plane. Oh.
On the flight. Yeah.
She was on the flight with her husband. Cool dude.
I love her. I, uh, very cool to see someone like that dressed like a London like

Speaker 1 suede shorts or something. She looked great.
Anyway, so blah, blah, blah. Go eat by myself when I land.

Speaker 1 And, you know, there's nothing the first night. So, Chris

Speaker 1 Rock talked about maybe we'll do a set or we'll go do stand-up or something. Why not?

Speaker 1 So I get there by myself. I eat at Houston's.

Speaker 1 I know it's not, it's not New Yorky enough.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 But when I was in Houston, I ate it, Manhattan's. Good night.
So

Speaker 2 I go.

Speaker 1 so Nate Bragatzi is in town and I forgot to see that he was here.

Speaker 2 And he said,

Speaker 2 Nate forgot to see you forgot see is he a Nazi? He's not, but it rhymes. You got it.
If it rhymes, you got to see it.

Speaker 1 Exactly. It's funny.
So

Speaker 1 then Nate says,

Speaker 1 I'm at this comedy club. You want to go do a set? And I said, yeah, what about the comedy seller? And he said, we'll go there next.
So I met him. We drove to comedy cell.
On the way, Rock is in bed.

Speaker 1 It's not that late, but he goes, I'm just laying around. I go, you want to come out?

Speaker 1 If you go to the cellar, I will. And I go, okay.
So we go to the cellar.

Speaker 2 So he's almost asleep. He's in pajamas.
And if he goes to a certain comedy club, he gets up, gets off his sleeve.

Speaker 1 It's only like 10:30. So he puts on this beanie, comes down.

Speaker 1 So then we go, and you know, you have to bump everybody. And that's the hard part.
So Leslie Jones is on, I think.

Speaker 1 So they already have a good lineup.

Speaker 1 And then

Speaker 1 I go, Nate, why don't you go up? Bring me up.

Speaker 2 I'll bring Chris up because he's going to follow Nate.

Speaker 1 There's no winning. Leslie's hard to follow.
Nate will follow.

Speaker 2 Leslie's hard to follow. She's a, yeah, she's, she's a pistol.

Speaker 1 She's a, she goes, she goes, I did your favorite crowd work.

Speaker 1 I go, oh, yeah, when she was on the podcast, we talked about crowd work.

Speaker 2 People that are civilians, quick insert, and I talked to some people today, they think crowd work is the bravest, hardest thing any stand-up could do.

Speaker 2 They just think, could you, would you ever, I saw this guy, Matt Reif.

Speaker 2 He did his whole thing was crowdwork. That was amazing.
Do you think you could do that too? Or you'd be too scared?

Speaker 2 Well, you don't have to write any material and you record five shows. Matt is great at crowdwork, but it is kind of nice.
Material is hard, but go ahead with your story.

Speaker 2 So you're down with the seller. You're five.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm not a crowdwork guy, but it's actually too hard for me. I would get lost.
You know, you got to go, this couple is here, and why don't you go home with them?

Speaker 1 And, you know, if you really are in that vibe, it fucking kills. It's great.

Speaker 1 So anyway,

Speaker 1 and so this is all one show, right? So I go, oh, they're getting a pretty good show. And then they go, oh, are you kidding? You know who was just on before you that popped in?

Speaker 1 Mulaney, Steve Martin, Martin Short.

Speaker 1 So it went those three, Leslie, and then us three, and that's just one show.

Speaker 2 Okay, hold on. You're blowing my mind.
Are you saying that Steve Martin got up and did stand-up at the cellar yeah practice stuff with martin and then and then marty got up with oh with marty yeah

Speaker 2 they said he got up alone i saw a picture of him alone up there oh i see you think okay all right well

Speaker 1 seeing steve martin do in a club

Speaker 1 would be you know the end all and be all because growing up with steve martin and listening to his albums knowing every move from the albums picturing it just so cool uh i just reread his book.

Speaker 2 It's the second time I read it.

Speaker 1 Oh, right. You were talking about that.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 1 it's called

Speaker 1 Standing Up Lifestyle.

Speaker 2 What is it called? A little bit of his childhood, but basically him starting out in Disneyland and then Knottsbury Farm.

Speaker 1 Was he a magician or something?

Speaker 2 Yeah. Magician and a magician comedian and then eventually comedian are making deconstructing stand-up.

Speaker 2 And they show you in the book, it's kind of cool, his notebook and his notes. Oh, wow.
And he wrote in there, when the tricks don't work, it's funnier. So like being a bad musician or sorry, magician.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so it's kind of, it's really an interesting look into the mind.

Speaker 1 Well, listen, Steve Martin, can't do any better. Martin Short, just picture those crushers, the Mulaney.

Speaker 2 And then you got Leslie Nielsen, and then you waltz in there.

Speaker 2 And then little David, and then you come in and crush. You know how it is.

Speaker 1 They always give you big applause. They go crazy.
And then you you start talking.

Speaker 2 They're like, what the fuck?

Speaker 2 I hate that. Did they give you like, let's keep this going? This guy's everywhere.
One of the funny. Did they give you the big booming introduction?

Speaker 1 Well, it was Nate. It was Nate.
So he was pretty cool about it. Oh, he introduced you.
With Chris, I was just like, okay, I'm done. Well, here's Chris Rock.

Speaker 1 So they go crazy, but Chris goes, lower your expectations.

Speaker 1 Because there's really almost no way you can try new material. And I wasn't ready.
I've been on the movie so much that I haven't really done it.

Speaker 1 So I'm like, wait, I got a little buzzed at dinner and i'm like i don't want to go on then i got there and i go i'll do a couple here's the best joke of the night for me all right this is what i want to hear this

Speaker 1 this is to the manager

Speaker 1 before i go on unfortunately it's obviously not on stage was i yeah

Speaker 1 but now it's going to be beam out on this podcast go ahead yes this is a joke that will be funny to comedians They said,

Speaker 1 okay, so Nate's bringing you up. You bring up Chris.
I go, great. I go, how long's Nate doing? They go, about 10.
They go, how long are you going to do? I go, I'll do about 12, 14.

Speaker 1 And they go, okay,

Speaker 1 when do you want the light? I go, give me the light at 30.

Speaker 1 Because obviously, every comic just stays forever, but they act like they're not going to go on for a long time.

Speaker 2 I know. If the crowd's hot, but let me ask you a question.
This is Inside Baseball Alert. You can put up a Chiron, Greg.
Okay.

Speaker 2 I don't like to get a light because

Speaker 2 I never see the light go on.

Speaker 2 I'm just not looking in the right place. So at one point, I look up and the light's on and I wonder how long has it been on? I get it.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 2 And have I gone over and didn't know it? So then I panic, I get quiet, I drop the mic and I kind of slump off and it's like, you know, one clap.

Speaker 1 Yeah. If you see, if they say, for more inside baseball, if they say, we'll give you the light, you're headlining, right? We'll give you the light at 45, 250.

Speaker 2 okay

Speaker 1 and like you said you're no you know you don't have a watch on you're like i feel like it's time and then finally you see like

Speaker 1 a flicker guy's got a candle i'm like wait i should have said what's the light because usually it's a flashlight directly in your eyes going pow pow or just turned on on oh guy lit a candle so that someone's like got his watch on and he's blinking it one time at a club and i'm like He goes, I gave you the light.

Speaker 1 I go, that was the light. I thought you were.

Speaker 2 Your Apple watch? Yeah. I was like, I thought

Speaker 2 400 feet away yeah i'm like wait we got to figure out what the light is because

Speaker 1 like you said i did a corporate and they said do this much

Speaker 1 and there was no time on this there's supposed to be a timer on the stage like a small clock over here and then i don't have my watch on now i'm just free balling and raw dogging

Speaker 1 and uh i'm like i think i this is my act this is about the time but you go one minute under they can say didn't do your time per the contract Okay, here's another inside baseball alert.

Speaker 2 They ask you sometimes at corporate dates, they got a big clock. Yeah, do you want it to go from zero to 60? Oh, or 60 counting down.
Great one. And when it's counting down, I get kind of nervous.

Speaker 1 I can't do it.

Speaker 2 Weird.

Speaker 1 You know why? Because I can't remember which way I said.

Speaker 1 So it says 22 minutes. I go,

Speaker 1 wait, have I run?

Speaker 1 Yeah, have I been on? And then I go, how much more is 20?

Speaker 2 I say say just count it up so i know when it gets to 50 or 60 i'm done yeah don't don't do any math counting down is rough because i can't tell how much i i won i had one gig re fairly recently casino maybe 1500 people they're packed i have a friend was with me opening larry bubbles brown we go backstage nobody We go up the stairs to the nobody.

Speaker 2 We look out the audience.

Speaker 2 It's eight o'clock, ready for the show.

Speaker 2 nobody what the is going on hello is anybody what do we just start do we start nobody and then we see it up these stairs behind this thing this vague light there's a guy sitting up there a silhouette of a guy so we go so we climb up the stairs and we sort of knock on the window And he's just like surfing the web, looking over his shoulder.

Speaker 2 Oh, what? It's okay. It's starting any time.
It's like 15 minutes late. That's the only happened once.
It was very interesting.

Speaker 1 Were they even let the audience in yet?

Speaker 2 No, the audience is in just talking, just going eight, ten, but but the mic wasn't on backstage, and nobody was there, just nobody, nobody backstaged.

Speaker 2 So this is the terrifying part for you people out there going, I'm going to try to stand up. This is the stuff that can happen.

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Speaker 1 I was thinking of those.

Speaker 1 Oh, well, I was going to tell you about

Speaker 1 the government spending that's in the news and uh how i saw kennedy our boy going through it and it's all it's it's funny anyway and then he

Speaker 1 he always acts so casual and

Speaker 2 he is the greatest show on television

Speaker 2 it's like andy griffith from matlock lives you can't even believe he's a senator the all shucks senator all shucks he's shuffling papers and everything is slow motion and really really clear.

Speaker 2 This is exactly what he said. It's not a bit.
He goes, My friends on the other side of the aisle,

Speaker 2 this is about taxes, always ask

Speaker 2 who's going to pay more?

Speaker 2 Who's going to pay more?

Speaker 2 But they never

Speaker 2 ask

Speaker 2 where

Speaker 2 the hell did the money go to?

Speaker 2 Your words, not mine. So he is so funny listing off all these agencies agencies and all these quirky expenses.

Speaker 1 I read through this and said,

Speaker 1 Can I have a puke bucket?

Speaker 2 He literally said that.

Speaker 1 I need a puke bucket.

Speaker 2 This is

Speaker 1 $12.6 million on

Speaker 1 finding a cure for monkeys with dandruff

Speaker 1 with dandruff in Indonesia.

Speaker 2 $5 million

Speaker 2 to find out whether frogs like the way they look.

Speaker 2 Excuse me. Do frogs even see the connection?

Speaker 1 Is it for mirrors? Because I can get you a better deal on a mirror.

Speaker 2 This is from the NIR National Institute of Research. These are real.

Speaker 2 $800,000. Do dogs think we should all walk on fours?

Speaker 2 $800,000.

Speaker 1 $6.9 6.9 million. Are dogs bothered when we pet them?

Speaker 2 $1.5 million.

Speaker 2 Do red ants know they're red?

Speaker 2 Why? Why do ants have to know the color?

Speaker 1 $1.2 billion. That's a B.

Speaker 1 For men to find out.

Speaker 1 Are blue balls a real ailment?

Speaker 2 Or is it just a hoax? The funniest part is the specificity of the number.

Speaker 2 2.7 billion dollars to the NRI

Speaker 2 is an orgasm similar to a sneeze. $2.8 billion.

Speaker 1 And I hate to pull the plug because you might have almost figured that one out at this point, but you didn't get there yet. We're still paying.

Speaker 2 We have to escalate.

Speaker 2 $6 billion

Speaker 2 to find out

Speaker 2 if the name pick up truck encourages casual sex.

Speaker 1 72.

Speaker 1 Am I reading this right? 0.81

Speaker 1 billion

Speaker 1 to find out if Miley Cyrus is still talking to her dad

Speaker 2 because he's a drinker?

Speaker 2 Okay, here's the other one.

Speaker 1 Can we call her?

Speaker 2 $3,200

Speaker 2 to the NIR.

Speaker 2 Why do teenage girls say the word like

Speaker 2 so much?

Speaker 2 Like we went there, like we did that. $3,200 of taxpayer money.

Speaker 1 $1.6 billion to find out

Speaker 1 if you ghost someone, it's related to the paranormal.

Speaker 1 Now, this feels like a waste.

Speaker 2 $420,000.

Speaker 1 Taxpayer money.

Speaker 2 I like to mix it up. Yeah, I like it.
The man who invented the idea of calling someone being assaulted mugged was actually drinking out of a mug when he thought of that term.

Speaker 2 $420,000.

Speaker 1 Let me get this straight.

Speaker 1 $182.

Speaker 1 So David Spade can get some more crowd work.

Speaker 2 That's all it takes. Give him more.

Speaker 2 $1.58

Speaker 2 to pay people on the street to remember in the moment what was the name of David Spade's last Netflix special.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit. I don't have any more.
I can't.

Speaker 2 No, that was a good, good link. Go with it.
We'll make it fun.

Speaker 2 Well, I, you know, it's hard to exaggerate. This is just for our audience.
I mean, we know that some of these, you know,

Speaker 2 USA aid things were just so ridiculous. So I just thought the only way to escalate it is to go to like what? But they're not that much of an exaggeration

Speaker 2 with some of these things. So there you go, folks.
Try to laugh.

Speaker 1 Farag testicles.

Speaker 1 He really gets into things.

Speaker 2 The average circumference of a fraud testicle.

Speaker 2 Circumference.

Speaker 2 $68 million, your taxpayer money.

Speaker 1 Have we found this out yet? Is it that much of a conundrum?

Speaker 1 Will life go on if we don't know? Give me my puke bucket.

Speaker 2 I like the puke bucket.

Speaker 1 It is funny. He goes, we spend, it's the best is when he goes, we spend $82 $82 billion helping countries that hate us.

Speaker 1 Can we spend nothing and they'll still hate us?

Speaker 2 I know. All this stuff is slow motion country logic.

Speaker 2 We give away

Speaker 2 $1 trillion

Speaker 2 to organizations

Speaker 2 that want to blow up Greenland just so Trump can't call it the

Speaker 2 red, white, and blue land. You know, that's the name they actually want for green land.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we're going to go better.

Speaker 1 We can brainstorm a better. That's, I mean, Gulf of America, it's a little hacky, but I'll take it.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 But Red, White, and Blue Land is really like third grade.

Speaker 2 It's hard to say. Red, right, blue random.
Red, right, right.

Speaker 1 It's like saying scient live. I can't believe for all those years I said scient live.

Speaker 2 I called it even more America. So that was my name for it.

Speaker 1 How about charge for it and call it America Plus?

Speaker 1 Like they do on Apple Plus.

Speaker 2 57,000

Speaker 2 Inuit

Speaker 2 Native Americans from Greenland occupy.

Speaker 1 They don't even have a cost code.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 They live in a very primitive manner. We can make them millionaires and perhaps they do our bidding.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's go to some stores or something. And then

Speaker 1 take a shower because I'm like so gross.

Speaker 2 Are you going?

Speaker 1 Well, we'll talk about what there's something for Lauren and I, but it's also Rock's birthday. So it's the 60th birthday.

Speaker 2 So, yeah.

Speaker 1 Heather, make sure I go grab my card from Thrifty.

Speaker 1 I'll go to my CV.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 2 Okay, hang on.

Speaker 1 Violent diarrhea bug is dubbed the Ferrari of viruses. Why would you call it the Ferrari?

Speaker 1 Well, that would be good.

Speaker 2 Why would you call it the Ferrari?

Speaker 1 This is a CDC.

Speaker 2 You would say it's not violent. It's when I think of a Ferrari, I think of fast.

Speaker 2 The speediest of viruses.

Speaker 1 The speed of your poop going through your body. Is that what they mean? Hitting all the turns.

Speaker 2 Well, we're still back with Kennedy. We're to figure out what to call

Speaker 2 the current diarrhea.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I don't know. I have nothing further, Your Honor.

Speaker 1 Did you know what I read yesterday that sounds fake?

Speaker 1 I don't even know what it sounds like. They go, do you know what COVID stands for? And the COV

Speaker 1 COVID-19?

Speaker 1 Well, we can figure it out. Look it up, Heather.
Because, but they go, what's the 19 standard?

Speaker 1 And they go, AI.

Speaker 1 First letter is one.

Speaker 1 I is the ninth letter or something. And I was like, and they were like, Ooh, and you know, on Instagram, they have music like,

Speaker 1 like, they have scary music under it. And I'm like, I don't know if I'm scared, I don't get why that's scary.

Speaker 1 They said COVID is AI. I'm like, well, I don't know about that.
It sounds kind of scary. It doesn't really mean anything.

Speaker 2 The SARS, COVID SARS made it seem more dark.

Speaker 1 Oh, they say coronavirus. That's C in the V.

Speaker 2 Coronavirus. Hmm.

Speaker 1 Hang on, here comes Heather with to the rescue.

Speaker 1 It's not that riveting, but okay, we'll go to the next story anyway.

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Speaker 2 The one that still kind of denotes really hard laugh for me is still the face tilted with the tears coming out of it.

Speaker 2 You know that one? And then tears are laughing.

Speaker 2 yeah you get three of those you're still happy but you know i mean they have the straight one with tears

Speaker 1 they have smiley right but the tilted that's a full

Speaker 2 but isn't it a little weird seizure when you know what you said or what you typed wasn't really that funny and you get like 10 like

Speaker 1 that's when you know people are faking it yeah fakers they write back lolol ol i say lolol

Speaker 1 as a joke of how stupid it is like i'll write something to someone and then I put my own L-O-L-O-L on it.

Speaker 2 Like I'm like, would you rather get multiple LOLs or 15 HAs back to back?

Speaker 1 I know there was a study on this. For $4.8 billion,

Speaker 1 we found that people would rather get just an LOL.

Speaker 2 I would say many people.

Speaker 2 Your experience, not mine, would rather have multiple HAs because that takes more energy to multiple ha

Speaker 1 no here's a trick i do and i've probably done it to you i text you something and no one says anything so i put a ha ha on mine

Speaker 1 and so someone might accidentally think oh someone thought that was funny and they're like oh it was spade he did it on his own

Speaker 2 i did this once someone just for fun that everything they said even if it was straight i would just put a ha ha on it i know and they thought it was crazy kept going yeah so we'll meet you at the movie theater.

Speaker 2 Ha ha,

Speaker 1 some people put lol just awkwardly, and it makes no sense, and it makes me nervous. All right, so I'll see you at the movies.
Like, okay, lol. And I'm like,

Speaker 2 what's or heart seems a little too

Speaker 2 emotional.

Speaker 1 What's a gray heart?

Speaker 2 A gray heart, I have no idea.

Speaker 1 Heather, gray heart, if a girl writes, sends a gray heart.

Speaker 1 What's purple?

Speaker 1 What's yellow? Yellow is sympathy. In roses, it is.
i don't know heather doesn't talk about the d in corona no she's still working on what covet needs coronavirus disease coronavirus disease so

Speaker 2 where'd they get the v

Speaker 1 virus

Speaker 2 oh oh okay for virus covir

Speaker 2 disease

Speaker 2 news flash the flu that i got influenza a way worse than covet covet covet

Speaker 2 bombed this one.

Speaker 1 When I had COVID, I had it twice, and it was not that big a deal. If you didn't tell me there was a national emergency, I wouldn't have noticed.
The gray one.

Speaker 1 There's gray. You just had it.

Speaker 1 Whiteheart represents love, support.

Speaker 1 I'm doing those all wrong.

Speaker 2 Fascinating.

Speaker 1 The blue one means I have blue balls, right? Yeah. Okay, next one.

Speaker 1 Company offers 200,000. AI company offers 200,000 for rights to your face and voice on their robots forever.
Would you do it?

Speaker 2 No, not enough, man. How about 20 million?

Speaker 1 But what if you're a normal person?

Speaker 2 Would you say, oh, a regular person, they just like,

Speaker 2 but then they can have your digital copy having pornographic sex with a giraffe? I mean, what do you mean?

Speaker 1 Nope, we're not going to tell you anymore. Just do you want the money or not?

Speaker 2 Jeez, this is a toughie.

Speaker 1 This is a tough one. I think most people would say yes.
They don't give a shit. 200 grand to do nothing?

Speaker 1 Let's look in the comments.

Speaker 2 Is that for net?

Speaker 1 Oh, no.

Speaker 2 Nothing's ever net.

Speaker 1 That's the thing. When people go, how much you make? Net.
I go, well, no one ever is paying you net.

Speaker 2 Well, you're paying net whenever you pay someone in cash.

Speaker 2 People love cash. And that's

Speaker 2 net, net. Who are you?

Speaker 1 This guy's net, net and yahoo over here

Speaker 1 because you say you wanted nets. They call you netanyahu.

Speaker 2 Okay, that's pretty good.

Speaker 1 It's like a Dennis Miller joke.

Speaker 2 They say you want nets. They think you're like a amateur tennis player.

Speaker 1 This guy's got more nets than net and yahoo.

Speaker 1 All right, one more. Let's see what else.

Speaker 2 David's just having a banana.

Speaker 1 I'm having a banana in the middle because I'm dying.

Speaker 2 Okay, don't play this yet.

Speaker 1 This isn't a good example, but whenever I see pranksters on my page making people look stupid, throwing like a ball in their head, and then look, oh, who threw that?

Speaker 1 Pranksters' life is,

Speaker 2 I look cool, you look stupid,

Speaker 1 I make money from it.

Speaker 1 I don't love that equation, Dana.

Speaker 1 So this one is just a page of pranksters where it doesn't work right.

Speaker 2 Here's one example.

Speaker 2 Which way are you going? Which way are you going?

Speaker 2 Which were you.

Speaker 2 I hate to say it's funny but

Speaker 2 what is the joke

Speaker 2 it's a prank it's a prank so we got a prank and they always say it's a prank like anyone cares

Speaker 2 it's a rank it's a prank we're camera right there we got camera right there we got cameras well then i feel like is this a prank

Speaker 2 this is a prank

Speaker 1 they always go to like gang bangers why would you trip what are you doing here and everyone's like what did you say and then they go hey it's a prank but these guys will either i've seen two guns drawn yeah he's trying to The guy could have broke his nose.

Speaker 1 Right. He doesn't.
They don't think it through. They just go, this will be so great if the guy goes, hey.
But a lot of people just go, I'll knock you out. You're trying to start shit.

Speaker 1 People have hard days. They don't need.

Speaker 2 Well, you're more trustworthy than I am.

Speaker 2 I'm not saying you're gullible, but I believe the prank

Speaker 2 was actually the guy who got tripped was actually in on the prank. Well,

Speaker 1 maybe. Usually the ones I've seen, they connect when they hit.

Speaker 2 I'd have to see that again to see because the camera was behind him. If they knew it was coming.

Speaker 1 Dana, are they trying to trick me? That's scary.

Speaker 2 I would want to do if I did it at Johnny Knoxville and other people have done it where you're just in prosthetic makeup and you're like an old man or something asking for directions or something like that.

Speaker 1 He does that and he had his nuts out of his shorts, an old man. And he was going to outdoor patios and he'd walk by slowly and he'd graze it against their leg or table.
And people go, what?

Speaker 1 Now, that was funny.

Speaker 2 Now, that was hilarious. And that's what you call a prank because you know what? He's not an old man.
He's a very young man.

Speaker 1 But no one's getting mad because they think he's an old man. So no one's going to beat him up.

Speaker 2 Exactly.

Speaker 1 It's a risky biz. All right, another one.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I don't know what this is. People cannot always be trusted.

Speaker 2 Sony.

Speaker 1 This will bomb, but let's try it.

Speaker 2 Why you can't always trust people. Once, Sony organized a focus group with their customers to decide the best color for their new Walkman to make its launch as successful as possible.

Speaker 2 Some voted for red, others for blue, but the yellow Walkman got the most votes. Yes.

Speaker 2 At the end of the survey, Sony thanked everyone and told them they could choose a Walkman in any of the six colors they had just voted on. And guess what? Most people picked the black one.
Yep, black.

Speaker 2 So everyone said yellow is their most popular and then when push come to shove they got the free one and chose a different color well i don't they're like i don't want yellow but i think that's what people would like oh okay

Speaker 1 and then they go but it worked

Speaker 2 makes me kind of nostalgic you know when walkmans came in or the first ipod and it was so so primitive you could upload a thousand songs on it the the lo-fi world there's a little bit of boomer nostalgia for it you know people don't realize a thousand on an ipod shuffle was bananas because you could only have an album with like six, eight, ten songs, and you go, wait, all, and that was this big or a CD, and you go, all, I don't even know how it works.

Speaker 2 We had a tech guy come on to our house. This is like 2003 or something,

Speaker 2 and he's doing stuff. And he's a really nice guy.
He's actually a magician. He did all these tricks for us.
And then he kind of goes,

Speaker 2 do you like Apple products?

Speaker 2 I really, I really like them.

Speaker 2 That's the only stock I invest in. I'm not a stock guy.
He was just being sincere. It was casual conversation but i i just buy apple stock because i like their products

Speaker 2 and um

Speaker 2 that's you know he left and i waited and i just said that guy with his apple stock yeah he's had an attitude and now he owns part of uh the carolinas

Speaker 2 and uh two islands in the caribbean It's one of those one of those things. Missed it by that much.

Speaker 1 I missed it by, I got into Apple during Rules Engagement, me and Oliver Hudson. And then I got out.
I can't always sit and everything. Even I buy a car, like an old car, it's kind of fun.

Speaker 1 But the fun is buying and selling them. And so you drive throughout and you have your fun, then you go, all right, I want a different one to play with.
Kind of fun.

Speaker 2 Expensive hobby, but you can always sell them for more.

Speaker 1 If you have a good one, it's super high quality. Yeah, then you can always usually, it's a push or you make a little.

Speaker 1 Well, I'll take a push. You just got something fun for right now.

Speaker 2 What would be a surprising car from the 60s that goes for a lot of money?

Speaker 1 Oh, those Hemi Kudas are a lot of money. They're over a million.

Speaker 2 What about a Chevy and Pala? Perfect condition.

Speaker 1 I mean, they go for, it's just, it's the rarity usually. So the bigger the engine, the more options they have, the color of the paint.

Speaker 1 They really cool stuff.

Speaker 1 So I still like a lot. I like old 72 trucks now.

Speaker 1 So now here i am on instagram going talking to these truck guys going what she got under the hood i like that old patina paint green or beat up blue or black and i wouldn't mind that where what am i hauling but you know i like them they're cool everybody in my neighborhood boomer flashback had a volkswagen bug and a friend of mine got a vintage one that was just in a garage just untouched like a 67 red volkswagen bug they're kind of nostalgic you know The shape is a big deal, like how good a shape they're in.

Speaker 1 Just like coin collecting, I used to do nerd alert,

Speaker 1 1916 D mercury dime, beautifully uncirculated condition.

Speaker 2 My brother Brad, right base Garthon, talks like this. He was a real coin collector and a science type kid.

Speaker 2 So he had this fabulous coin collection with dimes and nickels and, you know, and so Scott and I, we wanted some candy. It was Saturday and we needed money.
We couldn't, we didn't have any money.

Speaker 2 So we went into his room, found his coin collection, and took all

Speaker 2 and put them in a machine down by the puppet hound to get candy out of it. And someone found those coins later and it made the local paper.

Speaker 1 Oh, 1955 double D Buffalo nickel.

Speaker 2 That's money right there. And we got, but we got some, you know, jawbreakers with that, you know?

Speaker 2 Jawbreakers kind of played fucking asteroids. Bing bing.

Speaker 2 Played Pong at a pizza part. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boop.
Yeah, something like that. Boom.
It was one little thing going back and forth. That was great.

Speaker 1 Pong was great.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I did see Michael Myers today says hi to you.

Speaker 1 Everyone says hi, of course.

Speaker 2 We've been super fun.

Speaker 1 That show last night, I'll just wrap up by saying that the music show last night was really fun.

Speaker 1 I didn't know what it would be like.

Speaker 1 I came in during Miley, who I love, and I missed, I just saw the end because I was late. I didn't get to do the press line or anything.
And then,

Speaker 1 but they had every, you know, they had Will Farrell and Anna Gas there doing their thing.

Speaker 2 I love those two characters.

Speaker 1 They were singing Kendrick.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was great. They had Lauren Hill, who I'd never seen anywhere, never seen her anywhere.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 They,

Speaker 2 you know, a lot of people, what I noticed on the Saturday Night Live concerts, people went for it. Like, Jeff White really went for it.
And Brandy Carlisle is like kind of otherworldly.

Speaker 2 And Gaga is obviously as good as you can sing.

Speaker 2 Gaga doing Dick in a box was really funny. That was funny.
But yeah, everyone really, man, Eddie Vetter, incredible. I mean, they all really went for it.

Speaker 1 Eddie doing Tom Petty was great.

Speaker 2 Committed.

Speaker 1 Then he was going to be like, he played a pirate in this little sketch thing, Quickie. But everybody was sort of up for anything.
It was really fun.

Speaker 1 There's a lot more comedians up there doing sketches and bits than I thought.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was just fun to see. I thought it was two hours, so I left and it was another hour and a half.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Post Malone with Nirvana.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Adam introduced that.

Speaker 2 You know, you just, Kirk Cobain and Nirvana, as time goes on, just get shinier and brighter, where you just go, that was a moment.

Speaker 2 Those chord changes and those lyrics, they just sort of, it was grunge, but it just reinvented it. A little bit of John Lennon influence or something.
But

Speaker 2 that

Speaker 2 Nirvana was

Speaker 2 huge. And it was Post Malone filled those shoes as best he could.
He was amazing. Really, really tough.

Speaker 1 Yeah, look, it was super fun to see. I watched a clip this morning.

Speaker 1 I will tell you, Sarah Sherman was in that thing with me today, and she was like, I'll come on with you guys tonight, but we didn't finish in time and she had to get back home to get on to do it.

Speaker 1 So maybe she'll come on next week when it's a little slower because she wanted to give us all the deets. And I saw Meryl Streep.

Speaker 1 I told you I sat in her chair. So she's doing something tonight, which tomorrow would be great.
It'll be fun. I don't know what the other five just should be funny.
And

Speaker 1 let's talk about it again.

Speaker 1 Well, it's already next week. It'll be a week after that.
So

Speaker 1 it's okay. And

Speaker 1 good to see you. I will check in with you later and I'll take a shower because everyone's complaining.

Speaker 2 Have fun, whatever party you choose to go to.

Speaker 1 Yeah, tonight's pretty mellow.

Speaker 2 Must be nice to have your dance card full.

Speaker 1 I know. I'm boy, you know, LA is, I don't do too much.
So it's fun to have a couple things to do, but it gets a little bit of a grind. We had a late dinner last night.
It was. fun.

Speaker 1 We saw Paul McCartney running around the stage today, too. He's running around, just sitting in the audience.
I guess he has something, but

Speaker 1 of course, you walk by and go, oh my God, damn.

Speaker 2 Right up there is the most famous guy on the planet right now.

Speaker 1 I feel like he's up there. I mean, Keith Richards, I saw his name in a sketch.
So I'm like, I don't even know what he's doing. He was not there, but I'm like, I just love that he's in a sketch.

Speaker 1 Maybe he's doing a cutaway.

Speaker 1 Everyone's pretty game.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 good deal.

Speaker 1 All right. I will hit you later.
Thanks.

Speaker 2 Me Me up later. Thanks.

Speaker 2 Enjoy yourself. You know where to find me.

Speaker 1 This has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly. It's executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss-Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro, and Greg Holtzman.
Hope you liked it.