SUPERFLY #56 - SNL50!

David, I don't know if you know this about me, but I've always been a fan of exploring new places. Not like you kind of, you know, no, no offense.
And one of my best trips, listen up, is when I stayed at an Airbnb. Felt like I was living like a local with all the space.
You know, hotels can be a hassle room service. And then the housekeeper, it's a hassle.
So then you go to Airbnb and you can get whatever you want a little cottage this and that it's fantastic you have your own separate space so it's a great product for people who travel david yes i have friends doing one of these right now if you have a home you can airbnb it it's fantastic i mean um, to monetize your home when you're not there seems like a good idea. I mean, look, I'm on the road a lot.
I could probably do it. It's something that people can do when they travel.
They have extra space. Or you're at a place not full-time.
You come in the winter. You leave in the summer.
That's something you should think about. It's a way to get some extra money and uh it's a cool experience your home might be worth more than you'd think yep find out how much at airbnb.com slash host listen make this your best season yet with nutritious two-minute meals from factor eating well has never been this easy what you do is you just heat it up eat it give you more time to do what you want listen you got to get outside instead of prepping and cooking indoors factor meals arrive fresh and ready to eat perfect for any active lifestyle you got i don't know 45 weekly menu options that's a lot yeah yeah and you can pick gourmet meals that fit your goals david choose get this from calorie smart protein plus keto and more yeah i'd probably go protein plus but uh factor powers your day with satisfying breakfast uh on the go lunches premium dinners guilt-free snacks and desserts.
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That's code fly50off at factormeals.com slash fly50off for 50% off plus free shipping. Dana, wake up.
This is the earliest we've ever done this. I'm up at 6, 6.15 every morning, but we're recording very early.
This is farmer's hours. I don't want to give it a time, but it's very early.
You can see that we both have drinking problems. So we have sunglasses on because we haven't been able to go to our dermatologist and get that sort of sponge vacuum thing they do.
I'll be doing it. Someone in the comments said, you drink too much.
You look so shitty. I go, I don't barely drink at all so it might be mother nature uh news thanks for your commentary if you drink heavy you're gonna get booze face resting booze face but if you drink light and hydrate then never know i'll tell you another thing if you like processed carbohydrates a lot of them like a lot of them yeah it's uh it's tough on the old epidural around the cranium okay so hey dana your epidermis is showing doing am things now what is this good morning america now this is the cockadoodle do show.
So we're doing this because we did already do Superfly Saturday in New York to give people a summary on this episode of the rehearsal, the blah, blah, blah. But we didn't do the real show.
So we're just doing a pickup, an intro, a few things about the live show, and we'll probably do it again next week right because there was too much going on there was too much going on we could only do it saturday and then i thought well how can we talk about the sunday night 50th on saturday yeah and david i remember your your eyes got real big and you went blank you're like holy tomatoes i didn't even put that together you're, we can't talk about what hasn't happened yet, but now it has happened. So I, I wasn't there.
I had the flu. I was on the downside of it, but I still didn't have the oomph to travel.
It wasn't recommended. So you went to represent our podcast.
What do you got to say? The most questions I got about it, I'll just go through it. Aside from Where's Dana, which we cleared up, which you did want to be there and you would have fucking killed it, of course, was Ryan Reynolds and Blake being there.
A, why were they there? They were there because I think they both hosted. If you have hosted, you are invited.
You can come to any of those events, correct? Yes, and of course, we all know this, whatever. I don't do a deep dive on it, but there's some kind of legal action with some actor, Baldino's, it sounds like some kind of pasta place.
And I don't know what it is. I don't deep dive on it like you and Heather and Greg do, but our team, but you guys.
But I thought it was kind of funny because it's been in all the newspapers. Yes, I'm from the 50s, all the newspapers.
And when Ryan Reynolds said, what have you heard? Basically, tongue in cheek about it. It was a good moment.
That was funny. Yeah, but it was funny.
They should go. They should go to the show.
They're like us. Just whatever's going on, you try to make a joke about it.
But now listen, so they show up. I think nothing of it.
I don't really even put it all together. Why are they there? I'm like, oh yeah, they host.
Everyone there is a celebrity wherever you walk. It's 400 people and they're celebrities or old billionaires.
There was a lot of walking cadavers, Civil War veterans. There was a lot of actual cadavers.
There was walking cadavers. There was one foot in the grave.
Well, remember those, you'd see those old, old-timey things. It's 1935, and here these Civil War veterans are now marching down Times Square.
These gentlemen are now 119, but fought in the Civil War, and they're in wheelchairs. It's very sad and poignant.
But you give them some applause. We had some seniors.
I would have been a senior. I'm not, I'm busting myself too.
Go ahead. Yeah.
Someone gave me a compliment. They said I got old fast.
So I said, oh, I haven't, I mean, I got old. And the truth is I got old the normal way, but they just said, it just seems very rapid.
I said, okay, thank you. I don't like when people have a scene in a while and they get a scared look on their face.
They don't say anything. They just kind of go.
They just go casually, holy shit. They just go, whoa.
I like that other version of you. What happened? Okay.
So Blake and Ryan, here's my theory. Two theories about this whole thing that people have asked me.
One, it was funny. Two, I think Taylor Swift did not come.
She came last time to the 40th, but I think they're in a bit of a snit. I hate to use these words, but I think there's a little bit of minor friction, possibly.

I don't know for sure.

Oh, yeah.

I should insert this before you go any further.

And I know it's going to come off like a non sequitur, but I watched The 50th with Taylor.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, I know.

We're just friends, casual friends,

and I don't really go public with it, but she had a lot to say. She's on your couch with you.
Well, I think maybe there was some something there. Also, there was some kerfuffle because I guess Scarlett was married to Ryan Reynolds, Scarlett Johansson, and she was all over the show.
But not all over Ryan Reynolds. What a lovely human.
She was so fun she's a great snl like borderline cast member and she was not all over ryan reynolds yeah i didn't put that together for the longest time but no one actually gave a fat fuck no one said anything she wasn't weird no one was weird about it but i had read that and i'm like this is always written by someone that wasn't there. But anyway, we were having fun.
And here's a little nug. You know Wally.
I love that Wally, he always gets shout outs. I told him that he gets shout outs a lot.
He's our cue card guy since day one. For decades.
The best. The best.
And it's a sneakily really difficult job when he's timing those cards to the actor. They're sneakily heavy.
In a side note, when Tom Hanks gave a speech at the Lorne, like, toast. Oh, the toast to Lorne.
The toast to Lorne. Seth was funny.
Tina was extremely funny. And then Tom Hanks got up and he goes, this is going to be a long speech.
And then he had Wally come out with the cue cards just in the middle of a bar and do the cue cards so he could read it's a good joke yeah that's a good bit okay so wally wally gets uh not tricked but he goes on a radio station in australia you know i don't know how many press events wally's doing the cue card guy. I hear him on one last night.
It's hysterical. But you know how it's like, he's so sweet and naive.
They definitely want to get one answer from him. So at the very end, they go, hey, by the way, what was with that Ryan Reynolds thing? Did he just make that up or was that an ad lib? And he said, oh, he had a different line in the script.
And then he came up with that. And so that's sort of archetypal.
It's a classic line. I guess we're going to see it.
Yeah. Right.
I mean, it's such a throwaway, but because of the situation, here's what I saw. Let's see.
You're telling me that SNL's plan was not to have Ryan Reynolds pokeynolds poke fun at his wife's sh allegations but it was essay sexual switch it up with a little improv i 1000 believe that cue card wally who has been doing the cue card for snl for the past cue card on the fifi fad and nick show and he actually spilled the tea um ryan reynolds and blake lively we've been in the news a lot and Reynolds, we were on a, was that an improv or was it scripted? His little piece he did. That was actually, he had a different line in rehearsal and he pitched that to replace it.
So that was his idea to do it. He pitched that.
We wouldn't want to do anything controversial unless they were in on it. Why? That was his line.
That was his idea. Right.
He said we wouldn't want anyone to do something that they weren't in on. Which is true.
We're not there to bamboozle a host. He had to be aware.
It was a classic, why, what have you heard? It was perfect. Great.
They didn't elaborate. They just did it but when you're saying this the baldini um lively extravaganza kind of was all over the show i texted lauren afterwards you know i wish i could have been there and instead of talking about the show he just goes baldini will now counter sue i think that lively will probably get a new attorney and i said but boy

that that tom hanks was great and what what about that monologue with steve and he goes i don't know where ron reynolds is on this but certainly it really it was it's big at that 50th you know Baldoni's Meatball Shop is still open.

But I will say, Baldino, we've said it wrong literally every single time we're adding vowels. I'll say this right now.
If he wants to come on and tell us his story, I would love that. We're the new fucking Kiki, Boopoo, and Pop in Australia.
No. We're going to put a shrimp on a babby.
Barbie? No, Abby. I would say that it's also, you know, being at the SNL thing and everyone's sort of saying, hey, cool, Ryan Reynolds and Blake are here.
It helps. Okay.
Enough of them. Now, I missed it.
So what did I miss? What was the most emotional or fun? I watched the show. I did see Eddie Murphy.
People ask me if I'm tight with Eddie Murphy. Everything bad has evaporated.
I walked by him. I saw him at something, and then he was at Chris Rock's thing.
I didn't talk to him, but there's absolutely no anything anymore. Everyone was cool.
Uh, he was in sketches. He was upbeat.
The 40th member, he didn't do anything. Yeah.
Uh, I see more impression was great. And then he did that black Jeopardy.
I was, uh, I had a great seat for that one. I saw it hilarious.
So good to see Eddie doing Eddie stuff like that. He's great at it.
I walked past him on the way into the show and he put his arm back and blocked me. And so I had to say hi and give him a, he was super cool.
Dapped him up. Is too much lingo for you, Dana? What is the phrase water under the bridge? Who started that? Maybe it was Billy Bridge or Stevie Water, but water under the bridge means that that i mean it was billy bridge or stevie water

but water under the bridge means that whole thing with you and eddie is so over now you're friends i'm tearing up behind my cool yes we were friendly uh we should have taken a picture because it was fun to see him and then uh there was no weird vibes at the show okay sketch of the night Blink. Sketch of the night.
Oh, that's tough.

I liked a lot

of different things. Blink.
Sketch of the night.

Oh, that's tough.

I liked a lot of different things.

I liked Amy and Tina going.

Am I being too political?

No, I'm kidding.

I liked Amy and Tina going into the audience and Q&A.

They're always funny to me.

When you see the script and it says audience Q&A

and there's 35 celebrities listed in the cast that are in.

That's so fun because Peyton Manning is doing one joke. Everyone flies in for one joke.
It's great. And some hit really big.
I thought, I thought the combo of Lovitz's joke, which is funny that he's sitting at the, so far away, he's in the American girls story store. It's good.
Hilarious. And then he goes, I'm not mad.
I'm just saying, I just want to know why. Yeah.
I think it was the, yeah. So Tina and Amy are great writers.
Super like. And then they come back and she said, oh, we gave that seat to Julia Louise's, you know, emotional support dog.
I felt bad that I couldn't go because I think that Mike and I were supposed to do Wayne's World. So I was glad and I thought that Linda Richman, the coffee talk woman, came out and really scored.
And we talked about it. And I said, Miles Teller was kind of nice looking, playing it very real with them.
And they're the Long Island, Amy and Maya. They were funny, yeah.
And then Linda Richman comes in like this neurotic, like crazy person. He's landing all his hooks and they're playing it kind of straight.
They're funny, yeah. Linda Richmond comes in like this neurotic, like crazy person, and he's landing all his hooks, and they're playing it kind of straight.
They're trying to understand this crazy character. So I thought that landed very nice, so I was happy about that.
Yeah, Mike got a good score in there. You know, it was good, because it was, and Waynesworld would have done great, but it was fun to see that.
Because the show was bloated out to about 320.

320, yeah.

Wayne's World would have done great.

I would have been really happy to do it, but I couldn't make it.

Yeah.

Garth looks sickly.

I saw him the other day at the mall.

The Garth?

Garth Brooks?

No, you're Garth. He's like, he's just walking around.
He's at the comic book store. He just got tubes, man, so leave him alone.
He's the guy alone. You know what was one I would have edited out? This is a ballsy take.
Uh-oh, hot take. Are you ready for fucking front headlines? Edit.
I would have lifted the Belushi at the end. That just made me sad.
It made me sad. And Paul McCartney had to follow it.
Great. Because Tom Schiller was a great little filmmaker.
He did some cool stuff. But in that moment, I felt a little sad.
Well, first of all, Bill Murray's there. He's watching all his friends.
If we were there and we see people that we were super tight with and they're all passed away it just it's it's heavy for me and i'm not i wasn't didn't know them all and then it just makes the whole place go holy shit now that was a big famous video they shot for like short film tom schiller uh tom schiller vision maybe the first or second or third season right yes yeah and it was cool. And Belushi was really good in it.
It just was sort of a left turn after Scared Straight. And Debbie Downer, every time I see it, I'm happy.
And the reason I get so happy is that the sound effects start to change over time. Yeah.
I actually wanted more. I wanted a foghorn.
Wood chopper. Also, I wanted to hear birds coming in.
Ah, ah. Just anything stupid.
Oh, anything. That's great.
We always love to see that. And Rachel, she's great.
Now, what do you think Chevy at the beginning? Because I know some of the people who's listing, you know, top 10 update. He did say in not any particular order.
Oh, you're talking with Bill Murray. Bill Murray.
Sorry. Did I say Chevy? Bill Murray.
Not in any particular order. Chevy was on there, but we saw our friend Dennis was on there.
Oh, on the- Update, update. Bill Murray, top 10 update, guys.
My first Bill Murray story before I tell you that was, they put you in the audience and you look at your placards. During rehearsal, you see where everyone's going to wind up sitting and you go, oh, that person's here.
Oh, they're coming. And then I was over here.
I told you I was nowhere near you. And then when I went to the show, they go, your place is different.
And it was front row next to Bill Murray. And in front of Meryl Streep, Marty Shore, I was like, oh, this is great.
And Brandi Carlisle, to my love. So I go, this is super fun.
And they do it. And then Bill Murray's backstage.
But when we go out, it's three minutes. And they're like, oh, he's not out there.
So bless his heart, seat filler comes in. They do a joke about Bill Murray.
To cut to him is the point of it. And the camera guy goes like this.
And he goes, I see him on the headset. He's like, he's not there.
And they put the camera. I'm like I'm like oh what a bummer there's two people there I would have actually

sheepishly went up to with pen and

paper and said excuse me could I

get an autograph?

that would have been Meryl Streep and

Brandi Carlisle those would have been two

people I wouldn't I don't ever do this

and I don't want a picture I want

a signature so I thought

Meryl Streep was it was so

fun to watch her in the abduction alien sketch with next to kate mcginnon because she was having so much fun and when it ended you could see she was on a high because she's done everything but has she done um never hosted never hosted yeah maybe streep will now i guess her and martin short are uh friends again i we don't know friends with benny's i want to hang out martin short as much as i could actually yeah what are they if they are together fun because remember we all went to the store we all went to the comedy cell that night and uh what a fun thing it's fun those two look like a blast well martin i don't know her i I just know she's a genius, but she also seems very real. And Martin Short can go from serious, dramatic, profound to funny in a flash.
So if you're at a party and you sit next to him, then you're just happy. He's not always on, but he can be on.
She seemed very lighthearted. And I love seeing Nicholson there.
That was very cool. I was like a tearjerker.
Like what a fricking movie star. Ladies and gentlemen, Adam Sandler.
Hey, thank you. Well, thank you, Jack.
I'm doing Sandler's in his real voice. And his song was great and very emotional.
That teared me up. know six years jan gave props to everyone yeah a standing ovation yeah the only standing no with our friend sandman just just saying but it was emotional and and well written dan bula on the keyboards yeah of course adam's right hand man and you know i do like about this whole thing dana is aside from Bula is great.
I didn't mean to cut you off there. When you see a host like Adam Driver, who I don't know from Adam, I don't know this guy.
Literally. He's just a big star, seems kind of quiet.
He just comes like, everyone comes and just says, hey, if you want to put me in something, if not, I'll sit in the audience, this will be a fun event. They go, this is how it works.
They write a sketch. They wrote that New York musical sketch.
And they go, hey, Adam Driver, you're here. Do you want to play a hot dog? And he goes, yeah, yeah.
And puts on a hot dog costume, goes out there. Maya's a syringe.
I didn't figure out she was a syringe and I was in it. It took me until the very, because I took of her oh i never posted that one heather i should have maya being a syringe was so funny she's backstage oh yeah it was a little dark but it those things are so much fun i love nathan lane my old buddy from oh cocaine and vodka coming out cocaine and you know i'll just say this for inside baseball when you're a movie star you're in your trailer most of the time but you go out, you do 20 takes of something.
It's so slow motion. And then you go here and it's live and you're dressed like a hot dog.
It's just a rush. And everyone's laughing during your take instead of after when you're in a movie.
You're not allowed to make any noise. And everyone's high-fiving you and you're just running into people you don't even know.
And they're like, hey, I saw you. so but he was cool he was also a score i was telling you earlier when julie louise has her seeing eye dog the dog's blind and she goes he's getting weird vibes from adam driver next to him the energy and adam drivers like this just staring just not playing it too big just staring off no that guy because everyone says he's a weird vibe.
It's so funny. Look it up.
It's all probably on Amazon Prime. You can look up Ferrari.
He was so brilliant. How was he good in that? Well, he was ridiculous in that.
I mean, it's kind of a dark movie, but that guy's brilliant. So to see him do a live sketch, I think he had a time of his life, you know? Cool, dude.
We will wrap it up because we have the actual podcast. But other than that, Kevin Costner was just there at rehearsal just watching.
They wound up putting him in the audience just because he was coming to the show. He went to rehearsal.
He was at Chris's. So he felt right into the mix.
Yeah, Costner just looks cool. He just always looks cool.
I don't know what. He looks cool.
He looked like someone from Young Guns. He's just standing inside.
He's very comfortable. Like you can talk to him and he's very nice.
But if no one's talking to him, he's okay. Just being by himself, just staring, watching.
Oh, if you talk to him. So I don't know if people know this.
Like he's an inventor. He he he loves movies don't get me wrong but he'll talk about he had stuff for when the uh gulf of mexico now the gulf of america there was an oil spill and he has technology technology to do that so he's like an inventor as well as a producer director dancing with wolves was good go out on a limb it was fine That was fine.
Yeah. Wills were not dancing.
I'm a movie reviewer.

It was. Producer, director.
Dancing with Wolves was good. That was fine.
Wolves were not dancing. I'm a movie reviewer.
It would be nothing without the Wolves. Okay, that's it.
So, let's leave it at that. And now we're going into the real podcast that we already did and we'll tell you about the rehearsals and all the other.
Now this is like sort of a trippy one because now you'll hear us talking and not before the actual 50s.

So this is a little Twilight Zone, a little Rod Serling-y for you.

So don't get thrown.

Okay, thanks.

And we will see you on the other half of this podcast.

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Okay. So Dana, I'm here at a hotel.
Let me guess. The four seasons.

No, I'm not going to tell everyone.

I'm just going by the wall, Pip.

Well, does it matter?

Yeah, it doesn't matter.

It's over.

Well, I'm here during the SNL weekend.

And I will walk you through the steps.

And we're only on, just full disclosure, Saturday night. is that what it is and the show is sunday night so this is airing fridays this is a little ahead but people will know i'm not giving spoilers because it's over already right right and for me i had lingering effects from the flu cough and fatigue so i was told not to travel so i couldn't make it and but if i had made it yeah i saw where you were sitting in the audience i was like oh that little placard yeah they don't even put us we're not not even near each other, which is the worst thing.

Well, yeah.

Isn't John Lovett, didn't, we're past tense now.

Didn't John Lovett and Kevin Nealon sit together?

We don't know.

Half the fun we were saying is looking where they put all the placards.

You're like, holy shit, this is going to be.

I was eating my Caesar salad and I realized I was in Meryeryl streep's seat but we'll show a picture of that i'll send the picture rather and uh i so just now i got back from rehearsal i i they put me in a line in a sketch so it is the longest sketch it's not the californians was it no. I'm thinking of the 40th.
This is Mulaney. And I'm like, I don't even have to read it.
Mulaney and Colin Jones wrote it. I love it.
Oh, let me guess. They did a big Broadway show.
Yep. It's kind of, it's singing.
Yeah, yeah. He did one when I was there in the fall.
It was very cool. A lot of moving parts.
I think a bus came in, Bowen Yang came out. It's like, and Pete Davidson is always there at the beginning.

that's and i'm with pete davidson at the beginning so we're we're by a hot dog cart

and we're basically saying hey we're new to new york it's 1975 we're we're artists and we're

excited to and john's like don't you know that it's new york and you read the screen it's 1975 no one wants to be here it's the city's trash at this point dangerous so we're trying to figure out he kind of walks us through he goes i'll let new york speak for itself and then you know someone comes out as a hot dog and yeah yeah i've seen them they're very entertaining and really really uh produce big big big big kind of yeah we're number we're over on the side and i go don't squinch us over here but then it moves to i think maya and it takes up multiple sets and space yeah you go us maya adam driver sing a lot of people can sing you know i think you can sing too i don't really sing no no no i'm not not maya can sing maya can sing a lot of these girls kristen wig is there i love and she uh i never see her i never see her out so a lot of fun to see her she sings um it's funny scarlet johansson just the most random group that's the fun of having people back like the 40th you just throw people in uh i think billy crystal's in it i think nathan lane you know well that's the kind of sketch that you could really put a lot of people in it yeah just get them in yeah everybody gets you could just think of oh he'll do this she'll do that everyone gets a laugh and so uh so i just ran home and just walked on here because they can't our run through for our sketch was what was it four hours i think at least yeah and that's long for a rehearsal four and a half so we got there i had to use heidi gardner's dressing room oh and i got it and when i got in there because you know there's a shortage yeah so i go in this dressing room there's all i go is this someone's dressing room they're like yeah it's heidi's i was like well that's nice that she's cool i feel bad and then i see a gift bag and

there's also one for ryan reynolds and they're like oh he's using it right now but his sketch is done so he and blake are leaving and you take over now so if he comes back in he'll just grab his gift bag so when i'm leaving of course i have to do a bit he's signing something and i go behind him and go wait are

you getting paid for this and uh oh big laughs by the page desk and then uh and then said hi and then we talked for a second and i went in and uh waited for our sketch but really fun rehearsal day Did you use your time in New Yorkork city around all these um talented famous people

to pitch them coming on you know what i didn't because oh it's so awkward it's so awkward but

a lot of people have seen it a lot of people say we saw it you know and they listen to it or

whatever everyone's very cool you know one of the cool things was when i was waiting to go go on wait i saw just kevin costner standing in 8h just watching and so naturally i just go chat him up but he's just like yeah i'm not in the show i'm just checking it out i said hey if you need if

yellowstone needs a punch-up we get some big fucking laughs in there i guess big set pieces we can yeah he's uh he's pretty cool i'll tell you a little one minute story so sounds like a while back i was doing uh i don't know bob costas charity event in st louis for whatever reason i I don't anything but i was doing a corporate in texas and bob costas provided a private jet for me uh to st louis and then it was going to take me home so then we do the show and costner's there with his band and he's really good it's like a country where it's about i go your songs it came off it was catchy songs he goes catchy he thought maybe it was a disc catchy what do you mean catchy well catchy is good that's the beatles are but then we're at the the after thing we're at the table having fun talking and stuff and uh it came out that i have a private jet was a citation 10 brand new taking me back at that point i was living in the bay area so i said you should jump on yeah for sure so for about two hours he was coming on the jet it was going to be really fun hanging out like that how fun and then the guy came over whatever somebody came over said oh sorry the jet can't drop you off in napa california and then take kevin to santa barbara so then it was a big so then this is the part where and i was like saying yeah but we could drop him off you know i was just kind of embarrassed in a way why do i have a check fucking kevin i and then he was so cool about no this doesn't matter it's fine yeah he was just not even for one second one millisecond did he go what that guy gonna jet and i'm not so anyway that's a showbiz story right there oh yeah i saw a clip of yellowstone the other day goes hey rip hire someone here and don't hire some sissy like okay then they hire a girl that's like sort of a redneck girl that's the only clip i just saw there is no more alpha male show and it was a sleeper it built the whole taylor sheridan empire now we have land land man but when i first started watching yellowstone because i i love that i was bullied as you know i was a little kid so i love the idea you and me are gonna tassel you want to throw down come on you know every guy wants to beat the shit out of someone else for just looking at him the wrong way yeah you're talking to me i'll talk back to you with my fist i'll beat your fucking ass yeah he has a cool gruff voice in it um love costner i love we're talking about costner only guy that is not in the show. But he is cool and everyone needs to understand that it's really fun to see him in the real world.
I'm going to do a Dana and hold this. Hey, folks.
What's going on? A little crowd work? Yeah. Do a little.
Hey, folks. Have you tried the veal? You guys married? Here's what I do when I do crowd work.
I go, they always have shitty appetizers. to a couple i go what'd you guys uh have their um chili bites and they're like no i let them answer what'd you guys have and they're like oh hot dog mini wieners and i go no that's not a good one hey what'd you guys have there i'll do it to you dana and then you say um what do i say you say Well, normally they're having pizza bread or something like that.
Yeah. Yeah.
Say pizza bread. Hey, you guys, you guys together? Yep.
Say yes. Yep.
Yes. Uh, what do you, what are you guys having? Uh, pizza bread.
Oh, anniversary or something. Anyway.
And I walk over here. So the joke is for a, for an anniversary, they're just having pizza bread.
Yeah, and I look around, I go, what'd you have, a big pretzel? Oh, anniversary, birthday or something? My go-to is this is, I think it was great. I just want to know, if you use this joke, we're going back to the age.
i will whenever you whatever you say it changed it

changed heckler heckles right so heckle me hey i'm dana carvey and what's going on hey oh hey oh bring on the last guy hey man hey man i don't come to jack in the box and bother you when you're working god applause it would kill and you know what the the 2025 one is yeah i don't come to your job and slap the dick out of your your mouth while you know that one that always kills a little x-rated for me though yeah it's a little dana you're you can work clean you and Nate Bergotsi. No, Nate is perfectly clean.

Oh, I will tell you one more story before we get into it i so i land i run into anya anya taylor joy on the on the plane oh on the flight yeah she was on the flight with her husband cool dude i love her i uh very Very cool to see someone like that. Dressed like a London suede shorts.
She looked great. Anyway.
So, blah, blah, blah. Go eat by myself when I land.
And, you know, there's nothing the first night. So, Chris Rock talked about maybe we'll do a set.
Or we'll go do stand-up or something. i get there by myself i eat at houston's i know it's not it's not new yorky enough yeah yeah but when i was in houston i ate at manhattan's good night so so i go uh so nate bragazzi is in town and i forgot see that he was here.
And he said, hey, Nate Bregazzi, Bregazzi, is he a Nazi? He's not, but it rhymes. If it rhymes, you got to say it.
Exactly. It's funny.
So then Nate says, I'm at this comedy club. You want to go do a set? And I said, yeah, what about the comedy cellar? And he said, we'll go there next.
So I met him. We drove about the comedy cellar and he said we'll go there next so i met him we drove the comedy cellar on the way rock is in bed it's not that late but he goes i'm just laying around i go you want to come out if you go to the cellar i will and i go okay so we go to the cellar so he's almost asleep he's in pajamas and if he goes to a certain comedy club he he gets up, gets off his slippers.
It's like 1030. So he puts on this beanie, comes down.
So then we go. And, you know, you have to bump everybody.
And that's the hard part. So Leslie Jones is on, I think.
So they already have a good lineup. And then I go, Nate, why don't you go up? Bring me up.
I'll bring Chris up. So you're going to follow Nate if there's no winning leslie's hard to follow nate will fucking kill it's hard to follow she's a yeah she's she's a pistol she's a she goes she goes i did your favorite crowd work oh yeah when she was on the podcast we talked about crowd work people that are civilians quick insert and i talked some people today they think crowd work is the bravest hardest thing any stand-up could do they just think could you would you ever i saw this guy matt rife he did his whole thing was crowd work that was amazing do you think you could do that too or you'd be too scared you ever well you don have to write any material, and you record five shows.
Matt is great at crowd work, but it is kind of nice. Material is hard, but go ahead with your story.
Yeah. So you're down at the cellar.
You're following Nate. Yeah, I'm not a crowd work guy, but it's actually too hard for me.
I would get lost. You know, you got to go, this couple is here, and why don't you go home with them? And, you know, if you really earn that vibe, it fucking kills.
It's great. So anyway, and so this is all one show, right? So I go, oh, they're getting a pretty good show.
And then they go, oh, are you kidding? You know who was just on before you that popped in? Mulaney, Steve Martin, Martin Short. So it went those three, Leslie, and then then us three and that's just one show okay hold

on you're blowing my mind are you saying that steve martin got up and did stand up at the cellar yeah practice stuff with martin and then and then marty got up with oh with marty yeah they said he got up alone i saw a picture of him alone up there oh i see you think okay all right well seeing steve martin do in a club would be you know because growing up with steve martin and listening to his albums knowing every move from the albums picturing it just so cool uh i just reread his book it's the second time i oh right you were talking about that yeah so uh it's called standing up life yeah what is it called a little bit of his childhood but basically him starting out in disneyland and then knott's very farm was he a magician or something yeah magician and a magician comedian and then eventually comedian are making deconstructing stand-up and they show you in the book it's kind of cool his notebook and his notes oh wow and he wrote in there when the tricks don't work it's funnier so like being a bad musician or sorry magician uh yeah so it's kind of it's really an interesting look into the mind well listen steve martin can't do any better martin short just picture those crushers i'm malaney yeah and then you got leslie neilson and then you waltz in there and then little david and then you come in and crush you know how it is they always give you big applause they go crazy and then you start talking like what the fuck i hate that did they give you like let's keep this going this guy's everywhere one of the funny did they give you the big booming intro well it was nate it was nate so he was pretty cool about it then oh he introduced you with chris i was just like okay i'm done well here's chris rock so they go crazy but chris goes lower your expectations because there's really almost no way you can try new material and i wasn't ready i've been on the movie so much i haven't really done so i'm like wait i got a little buzz at dinner and i'm like i don't want to go on then i got there and i go i'll do a couple here's the best joke of the night for me all right this is what i want to hear this for you this is to the manager before i go on unfortunately it's obviously not on stage was i yeah but now it's going to beam out on this podcast go yes this is a joke that will be funny to comedians they said uh okay so nate's bringing you up you bring up chris i go great i go how long is nate doing they go about 10 they go how long are you going to do i go'll do about 12 14 and they go okay when do you when do you want the light i go give me the light at 30 because obviously every comic just stays forever but they act like they're not going to go on for a long time i know if the crowds hop but let me ask you a question this is inside baseball alert you can put up a chyron greg okay i don't like to get a light because i never see the light go on i'm just not looking in the right place so at one point i look up and the light's on and i wonder how long has it been on i get it yep and have i gone over and didn't know it so then i panic i get quiet i drop the mic and i kind of slump off and it's like you know one clap yeah if you see if they say for more inside baseball if they say we'll give you the light you're headlining right we'll give you the light at 45 to 50 okay and like you said you're no you know you don't watch and you're like i feel like it's time and then finally you see like a flicker guy's got a candle i'm like wait i should have said what's the light because usually it's a fly sight directly in your eyes going pow pow or just turned on oh a guy lit a can so there's someone's like got his watch on he's blinking it one time at a club club. And I'm like, he goes, I gave you the light.
I go, that was the light. I thought your Apple watch.
Yeah. I was like, 400 feet away.
Yeah. I'm like, we got to figure out what the light is because like you said, I did a corporate and they said, do this much.
And there was no time on this. There's supposed to be a timer on the stage like a small

clock over here and then i don't have my watch on now i'm just fucking free balling and raw dogging and uh i'm like i think i this is my act this is about the time but you go one minute under they can say didn't do your time per the contract okay here's another inside baseball alert uh they ask you sometimes at corporate dates they got a big clock yeah you want it to go from zero to 60 or 60 counting down great one and when it's counting down i i get kind of nervous i can't do it weird uh you know why because i can't remember which way i said yeah so it says 22 minutes i go wait have i done 38 yeah have i run and then i go how much more is 20 i say just count it up so i know when it gets to 50 or 60 i'm done yeah don't don't do any math counting down is rough because i can't tell how much i i had one gig re fairly recently casino people. They're packed.
A friend was with me opening Larry Bubbles Brown. We go backstage, nobody.
We go up the stairs to the nobody. We look out at the audience.
Hub, hub, hub, hub. It's 8 o'clock, ready for the show.
Nobody. What the fuck is going on? Hello, is anybody? What, do we just start? just start do we start nobody and then we see up these stairs behind this thing this vague light there's a guy sitting up there silhouette of a guy so we go so we climb up the stairs and we sort of knock on the window and he's just like surfing the web looking over his shoulder oh what's starting in time.
It's like 15 minutes late. That's the only happened once.

It was very interesting.

They didn't even let the audience in yet.

No, the audience is in just talking, just going eight, 10, but,

but the mic wasn't on backstage and nobody was there. Just nobody,

nobody backstage. So this is the terrifying part for you people out there.

I'm going to try to stand up. This is the stuff that can happen.
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And it's all, it's funny anyway.

And then he always acts so casual and quizzical. He is the greatest show on television.
It's so unreal. It's like Andy Griffith from Matlock Lives.
You can't even believe he's a senator. The aw shucks senator.
Aw shucks. He's shuffling papers and everything is slow motion and really clear.
This is exactly what he said. It's not a bit.
He goes, my friends on the other side of the aisle. It's about taxes.
Always ask, who's going to pay more? Who's going to pay more? But they never ask where the hell did the money go to your words not mine so he is so funny listing off all these agencies and all these quirky expenses i read through this and said can i have a puke bucket he literally said can I have a puke bucket?

He literally said that. I need a puke bucket.
This is. $12.6 million on finding a cure for monkeys with dandruff? With dandruff in Indonesia? five million million to find out whether frogs like the way they look.
Excuse me, do frogs even see? Is it for mirrors? Because I can get you a better deal on a mirror. This is from the NIR, National Institute of Research.
These are real. $800,000.
Do dogs think we should all walk on fours? $800,000. $6.9 million.
Are dogs bothered when we pet them? $1.5 million dollars do red ants know they're red why why do ants have to know the color 1.2 billion that's a b uh for men to find out Are blue balls a real ailment? Or is it just a hoax? The funniest part is the specificity of the number. Two point, because it seems real.
Two point seven billion dollars to the NRI is an orgasm similar to a sneeze. Two point eight billion dollars.
And I hate to pull the plug because you might have almost figured that one out at this point, but you didn't get there yet. We're still paying.
We have to escalate. $6 billion to find out if the name pick up truck encourages casual sex.
72? Am I reading this right? 0.81 billion to find out if Miley Cyrus is still talking to her dad because he's a drinker. Okay's the other one can we call her thirty two hundred

dollars to the nir yeah why do teenage girls say the word like so much like we went there like we did that. $3,200 of taxpayer money.

$1.6 billion to find out

in like we did that. $3,200 of taxpayer money.
$1.6 billion to find out if you ghost someone, it's related to the paranormal. Now, this feels like a waste.
$420,000 of your taxpayer money up. Yeah, I like it.
The man who invented the idea of calling someone being assaulted mugged was actually drinking out of a mug when he thought of that term. $427.
Let me get this straight. $182.
What? So David spade can get some more crowd work that's all it takes give him more one dollar and 58 to pay people on the street to remember in the moment

what was the name of David Spade's last Netflix special.

Oh, shit.

I don't have any more.

I can't think of it.

No, that was a good one.

Go with it.

We'll mix it up.

That was funny.

Well, you know, it's hard to exaggerate.

This is just for our audience.

I mean, we know that some of these, you know,

Thank you. It wasn't funny.
Well, you know, it's hard to exaggerate. This is just for our audience.
I mean, we know that some of these, you know, USA aid thing were just so ridiculous. So I just thought the only way to escalate it is to go to like, what? But they're not that much of an exaggeration.
No. With some of these things.
So there you go, folks. Try to laugh.
Farag testicles. He really gets into things.
The average circumference of a fraud testicle. Circumference.
$68 million, your taxpayer money. Have we found this out yet? Is it that much of a conundrum? Will life go on if we don't know? Give me my puke bucket.
I like the puke bucket. It is funny.
He goes, we spend, it's the bestest when he goes, we spend $82 billion helping countries that hate us. Can we spend nothing and they'll still hate us i know all this stuff is slow motion uh country logic we we give away one trillion dollars to organizations that want to blow up england just so trump can't call it the red right red white and blue land you know that's the name they actually want for green yeah we're gonna call it red white blue land we can brainstorm a better that's i mean gulf of america it's a little hacky but i'll take it yeah but uh but red white and blue land is really like third grade it's hard to say red right blue red right it's like saying live i i can't believe for all those years i said sign live i called it even more america so that was my name for how about charge for it and call it America Plus, like they do on Apple plus 57 000 into it native americans from greenland occupy they don't even have a costco yeah they live in a very primitive manner we can make them millionaires and perhaps they do our bidding yeah uh okay let's go to some stories or something and then um before it's too late take a shower because i'm like so gross are you going well we'll talk about there's something for lorne and i but it's also rock's birthday so it's the 60th birthday so yeah i heather make sure i go grab my card from thrifty i go by cv yes okay hang on violent diarrhea bug is dubbed the ferrari of viruses why would you call them ferrari well that would be good why would you call it the ferrari this is cdc you would say it's not violent it's when i think of a ferrari i think of fast the speediest of viruses the speed of your poop going through your body is that what they mean hitting all the turns well we're we're still back with uh kennedy we're to figure out what to call the current diarrhea yeah for i don't know i i have nothing further your honor did you know what i read yesterday that sounds fake i don't even i don't even know what it sounds like they go do you know what covet stands for and the cov covet 19 oh we can figure it out, Heather.
But they go, what's the 19 stand for? And they go, AI. First letter is one.
I is the ninth letter or something. And they were like, woo.
And you know, on Instagram, they have music like, woo. Like they have scary music under it.
And I'm like, I don't't know if i'm scared i don't get why that's scary they said covet is ai i'm like well i don't know about that it sounds kind of scary it doesn't really mean the sars covet sars made it seem more dark oh they say coronavirus that's c in the v coronavirus hmm um hang on here comes heather with to the rescue

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The one that still kind of denotes really hard laugh for me is still the face tilted with the

tears coming out of it. You know that one? And's the tears are laughing yeah you get three of those you're still happy but you know i mean they have the straight one with tears they have smiley right but the tilted that's a full but isn't it a little weird seizure when you know what you said or what you typed wasn't really that funny and you get like 10 like that's you know people are faking it yeah fakers they write back lol lol i'd say lol lol as a joke about stupid it's like i'll write something to someone then i put my own lol on like i'm like would you rather get multiple lols or 15 HAWs back to back? I know there was a study on this.
For $4.8 billion, we found that people would rather get just an LOL. I would say many people, your experience, not mine, would rather have multiple haws because that takes more energy to do.
Multiple haws. H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A.
No, here's a trick I do, and I've probably done it to you. I text you something and no one says anything, so I put a ha-ha on mine.
And so someone might accidentally think, oh, someone thought that was funny. And they're like,ade he did it on his own i did this once to someone just for fun that everything they said even if it was straight i would just put a ha ha on it i know and they thought it was crazy kept going yeah so we'll meet you at the movie theater ha ha some people put lol just awkwardly and it makes no sense and it makes me nervous all right so i'll see at the movies like okay lol and i'm like what's or heart seems a little too emotional sometimes what's a gray heart a gray heart i have no idea heather if a girl writes sends a gray heart.
What's purple?

What's yellow? Yellow is sympathy.

In roses, it is.

I don't know.

Heather doesn't know.

She's still working on what COVID means.

Coronavirus disease.

Coronavirus disease.

So where'd they get the V?

Virus.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, okay. For virus.
Co- covi disease newsflash the flu that i got influenza a way worse than covid covid covid bombed this when i had covid i had twice and it was not that big a deal if you didn't tell me there's a national emergency i wouldn't have noticed the gray one there's gray you just had it white heart represents love support i'm doing those all wrong fascinating the blue one means i have blue walls right yeah okay next one company offers 200 ai company offers 200 000 for rights to your face and voice on their robots forever would you do it no not enough man how about 20 million but what if you're a normal person would you say oh a regular person they just like they just like but then they can have your digital copy having pornographic sex with a giraffe i mean what do you mean nope we're not going to tell you anymore just do you want the money or not jeez this is a toughie this is a tough one i think most people would say yes they don't give a shit 200 grand to do nothing um let's look in the comments is that net oh no nothing's ever net

that's the thing when people go how much you make net i go well no one ever is paying you net

well you're paying net whenever you pay someone in cash people love cash and that is net net

who are you fucking this guy's net netanyahu over here because you say you wanted nets they call you netanyahu okay that's pretty good uh they want like that's a dennis miller joke they say you want nets i think you're like a uh amateur tennis player you know this guy's got more nets than that yeah all right one more let's see what David just having a banana having a banana in the middle because I'm dying okay don't play this yet this isn't a good example but I whenever I see pranksters on my page making people look stupid throwing like a ball in their head and then look who threw that pranksters life is I look cool you look stupid i make money from it i don't love that equation dana so this one is just a page of pranksters where it doesn't work right here's one example which were you going which were you going which were you i hate to say it's funny but what is the joke it's a prank it's a prank so we got a prank and they always say it's a prank like anyone cares it's a prank video it's a prank it's a prank just a prank we're gonna come right now we got cameras well then i feel like is this a prank this isn't right you see the camera right there they always go to like gang bangers why would you trip what are you bitches doing here and everyone's like what did you say and then they go hey it's a prank but these guys will either i've seen two guns drawn yeah he's trying to the guy could have broke his nose right he doesn't they don't think it through they just go this will be so great if the guy goes

hey but a lot of people just go i'll knock you out you're trying to start shit people have hard days they don't need well you're more trustworthy than i am um not i'm not saying you're gullible but i believe the prank was actually the guy who got tripped was actually in on the prank well it may be usually the ones i've seen they connect when they hit where it's i'd have to see that again if to see because the camera was behind him if they knew it was coming dana are they trying to trick me that's scary i would want to do if i did it at johnny knoxville and other people have done it where you're just in prosthetic makeup and you're like an old man or something asking for directions or something like that he does that and he had his nuts out of his shorts an old man and he was going to outdoor patty's and he'd walk by slowly and he'd graze it against their leg or table and people go what now that was funny now that was hilarious and that's what you call a prank because you know what He's not an old man. He's a very young man.
But no one's getting mad because they think he's an old man, so no one's going to beat him up. Exactly.
It's a risky biz. All right, another one.
Okay. I don't know what this is.
People cannot always be trusted. I feel like this will bomb.
Let's try it.

Why you can't always trust people. Once, Sony organized a focus group with their customers to decide the best color for their new Walkman to make its launch as successful as possible.
Some voted for red, others for blue, but the yellow Walkman got the most votes. At the end of the survey, Sony thanked everyone

and told them they could choose a Walkman

in any of the six colors they had just voted on.

And guess what?

Most people picked the black one.

Yep, black.

So everyone said yellow is their most popular

and then when push comes to shove,

they got the free one and chose a different color.

Well, they're like, I don't want yellow

but I think that's what people would like. Oh and then they go but it worked makes me kind of nostalgic you know when walkman's came in or the first ipod and it was so so primitive you could upload a thousand songs on it the the lo-fi world there's a little bit of boomer nostalgia for it you know people don't realize a thousand on an ipod shuffle was bananas because you could only have an album with like six eight ten songs and you go wait all and that was this big or a cd and you go all i don't even know how it works we had a tech guy come over our house this is like 2003 or something and he's doing stuff and he's really a nice guy he's actually a magician

he's all these tricks for us and then he kind of goes um do you like do you like apple products because i really i really like them i'm i'm that's the only stock i invest in i'm not a stock guy he was just being sincere it was casual conversation but i i just buy apple stock because i like their products and And, you know, he laughed and I just said, fuck that guy with his Apple stock bullshit. He's had an attitude.
And now he owns part of the Carolinas. And two islands in the Caribbean.
It's one of those, one of those things. Missed it by that much.
I missed it by it. I got into Apple during rules engagement, me and Oliver Hudson, and then I got out.
I can't always sit and everything. Even I buy a car, like an old car.
It's kind of fun. But the fun is buying and selling them.
And so you drive around and you have your fun, and then you go, all right, I want a different one to play with. It's kind of fun.
fun uh expensive hobby but you can always sell them for more most if you have a good one that's super high quality yeah then you can always usually it's a push or you make a little well i'll take a push you just got something fun for right now what would be a surprising car from the 60s that goes for a lot of money oh those hemi kud Cudas are a lot of money. They're over a million.
What about a Chevy Impala, perfect condition? I mean, they go for, it's the rarity usually. So the bigger the engine, the more options they have, the color of the paint, they have really cool stuff.
So I still like a lot lot i like old 72 trucks now so now here i am on instagram going talking to these truck guys going what she got under the hood i like that old patina paint green or beat up blue or black and i wouldn't mind that where what am i hauling but But, you know, I like them. They're cool.

Everybody in my neighborhood, Boomer Flashback,

had a Volkswagen Bug,

and a friend of mine got a vintage one

that was just in a garage, just untouched,

like a 67 red Volkswagen Bug.

They're kind of nostalgic, you know?

The shape is a big deal,

like how good a shape they're in.

Just like coin collecting, I used to do.

Nerd alert.

1916 D mercury dime beautifully uncirculated condition my brother brad right based garth talks like this he was a real coin collector and a science type kid so we had this fabulous coin collection with dimes and nickels and core you know and so scott and i we wanted some candy it was saturday and we needed money we couldn't we didn't have any money so we went into his room found his coin collection and took all this out and put them in a machine down by the puppet hound to get candy out of it and someone found those coins later and it make made the local paper Oh, 1955 double D Buffalo nickel. Yeah.
Right there. And we got, but we got some, you know, jawbreakers with that, you know, jawbreakers kind of played fucking asteroids.
Bing, bing, shh, shh. Played, played pong at a pizza party.
Boom, boom, boom, boom. Yeah.
Something like that. that.
It was one little thing going back and forth. That was great.
Pong was great. Yeah, yeah.
I did see Michael Myers today says hi to you. Everyone says hi, of course.
We've been texting. That show last night, I'll just wrap up.
I think the music show last night was really fun fun i didn't know what it would be like uh i came in during miley who i love and i missed i just saw the end because i was late i didn't get to the press line or anything and then um but they had every you know they had will ferrell and anna gas that are doing their saying uh that i love those two characters they were singing kendrick yeah it was great they had lauren hill who i'd never seen anywhere never seen her anywhere yeah um they you know a lot of people what i noticed on the saturday night live concerts people went for it like jack white really went for and brandy Carlile is, like, kind of otherworldly. And Gaga is obviously as good as you can sing.
But Brandi Carlile and that song. Gaga doing Dick in a Box was really funny.
That was funny. But, yeah, everyone really, man, Eddie Vedder, incredible.
I mean, they all really went for it. Eddie doing Tom Petty was great.
then he was gonna be like he played a pirate

in this little sketch thing quickie but everybody was sort of up for anything it was really fun there's a lot more comedians up there doing sketches and bits than I thought and I did yeah and yeah it was it was just fun to see I thought it was two hours so I left and it was another hour and a half uh yeah post malone with nirvana yeah adam introduced that you know you just uh kurt cobain and nirvana as time goes on just get shinier and brighter where you just go of course that was a moment those chord changes and those lyrics they just sort of it wasunge, but it just reinvented it a little bit of John Lennon influence or something. But that Nirvana was huge.
And it was, Post Malone filled those shoes as best he could. He was amazing.
Really, really tough. Yeah, it's super fun to see.
I watched a clip this morning. i will tell you sarah sherman was in that thing with me today and she was like i'll come on with you guys tonight but we didn't finish in time and she had to get back home to get on to do it so maybe she'll come on next week when it's a little slower uh because she wanted to give us all the deets and i saw meryl streep i told you i sat in her chair so she's doing something tonight which tomorrow should be great it'll be fun i don't know what the other is probably it just should be funny and uh let's talk about it again well it's already next week it'll be a week after that so it's okay and uh good to see you i will check in with you later and uh i'll take a shower because everyone's complaining.
Have fun, whatever party you choose to go to. Yeah, tonight's pretty mellow.
Must be nice to have your dance card full. I know.
LA, I don't do too much, so it's fun to have a couple things to do. It gets a little bit of a grind.
We had a late dinner last night. It was fun.

We saw Paul McCartney running around the stage today, too.

He's running around just sitting in the audience.

I guess he has something.

But, of course, you walk by and go, oh, my God, damn.

Right up there is the most famous guy on the planet right now.

I feel like he's up there.

I mean, Keith Richards, I saw his name in a sketch.

So I'm like, I don't even know what he's doing. He was not there.
But I'm like, I just love that he's in a sketch. Maybe he's doing a cutaway.
Everyone's pretty game. So good deal.
All right. I will hit you later.
Thanks, Dan. Hit me up later.
Thanks. I miss you.
Enjoy yourself. You know where to find me.
This has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly.

It's executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade,

Jenna Weiss-Berman of Odyssey,

Heather Santoro, and Greg Holtzman.

Hope you liked it.